UNIT 5 CHAPTER 11 Forming bonds is a big part of human life
INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION AND REJECTION Forming & maintain some relationships is vital for
survival
DIFFERENTIATE THE TWO INGREDIENTS FOR We survive & reproduce by way of relating
BELONGINGNESS, AND DEBATE WHY THE NEED TO
BELONG
Attraction: anything that draws two or more people together, need to belong: the desire to form and maintain close, lasting
making them want to be together and possibly to form a relationships with other individuals
lasting relationship 1. Desire to form and maintain close, lasting relationships
social acceptance: a situation in which other people have
come to like you, respect you, approve of you, and include 2. Drives people to affiliate, commit, and remain together
you in their groups and relationships
rejection (social exclusion): being prevented by others from 3. Everybody needs somebody
forming or keeping a social bond with them; the opposite of
acceptance
4. Those who formed strong social networks, and the
need to belong helps make people want to form those
Two ingredients to belongingness: networks.
1. Regular social contact
Positive social contacts are better, though neutral ones, such 5. To enjoy the benefits of culture, people have to have an
as watching television together or simply having breakfast inner drive to connect with other people.
together, are also satisfying to some
2. Stable framework of some ongoing relationship where
people share mutual concern for each other
Just having social connections may be satisfying
THE VARIABLES THAT PREDICT WHO WILL LIKE WHOM 2. Social rewards: You make me feel good
reinforcement theory: the proposition that people and
Ingratiation: what people actively do to try to make someone
animals will perform behaviours that have been
like them
rewarded more than they will perform other behaviours
People like good-looking, friendly people who are similar to
themselves in important ways To get them like you – do favours for them & praise
them
People like those who are nice them
3. Tit for tat: Reciprocity and liking
1. Similarity, complementarity, oppositeness
I do something for you and you do something for
self-monitoring: the ability to change one’s behaviour me in return
for different situations
Trustworthiness means that you can expect the
matching hypothesis: the proposition that people other person to reciprocate
tend to pair up with others who are equally attractive
You seem trustworthy: moral traits
High self-monitoring: maximize each social situation
Low self-monitoring: interest in permanent
4. You again: Mere exposure
connections and feelings
Propinquity: being near someone on a regular basis
Matching is driven more by rejecting dissimilar others
than by liking similar others
People grow to like people whom they encounter on a
regular basis (proximity)
Social allergy effect: the idea that a partner’s
annoying habits become more annoying over time
5. Looking good IDENTIFY STRATEGIES FOR GETTING SOMEONE TO
LIKE YOU AND EXPLAIN HOW RECIPROCITY HAS A
what is beautiful is good effect: the assumption that POWERFUL EFFECT ON LIKING
physically attractive people will be superior to others on
many other traits
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These traits include happiness, sexual warmth,
popularity and even intelligence and success
Money & body shapes
6. Attraction in the 21st century: online dating and apps
Expands the range of potential partners
Enables communication before meeting
Allows searching for best matches
BUT – people don’t always tell the truth
BEHAVIOURAL EFFECTS OF REJECTION ANALYSE WHAT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL LONELY AND
DESCRIBE THE CONDITIONS THAT LEAD TO SOCIAL
REJECTION
1. Show decreases in intelligent thought
2. Approach new interactions with scepticism Loneliness: the painful feeling of wanting more human
contact or connection than you have
Loneliness originates in a gap between the amount or quality
3. Are less generous, cooperative, and helpful
of social relationships that you have and the amount or quality
that you want
4. Are more willing to cheat or break rules
Doesn’t refer to the amount of time spent alone
Insufficient contact with others
5. Act in shortsighted, impulsive, and self-destructive Time spent with others does not satisfy needs
ways
6. Repeated rejection can create aggression Takes its toll on the body
Chronic tiredness; unsatisfying sleep
Longer recovery times from stress, illness, injury
7. Aggression can lead to rejection
Increased drinking and overeating
Bad apple effect: the idea that one person who breaks the
rules can inspire other people to break the rules too
Reasons children are rejected by peers
Aggression
Withdrawal from contact with others
Children who are different in any obvious manner
Reasons adults are rejected by peers
Among adults, the simplest and most general
explanation for rejection is deviance.
Much deviance involves breaking the rules.
Deviants don’t do what they are expected or supposed
to do
Deviance: nonconformity, bad performance, rule breaking,
and bad-apple effect
