baby reindeer: a netflix miniseries
CW: The following slides will discuss the content of the
show, which includes graphic depictions of stalking,
sexual assault, and physical violence.
This project was supported by Grant No. 2017-WA-AX-0034, awarded by the Office on Violence Against
Women, U.S. Department of Justice. The opinions, findings, conclusions, and recommendations expressed
in this publication/program/exhibition are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect the views of
the Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women.
origins and stalking
baby reindeer is adapted from a play written by
Richard Gadd, who plays “himself” as Donny
Dunn. Both the play and miniseries are adapted
from Gadd’s real experience with a stalker.
The story begins as Donny meets Martha during his shift at
a pub. He immediately recognizes that she is struggling
with some sort of mental illness, and he takes pity on her.
Donny begins to playfully flirt with her and offer her free
Diet Cokes to cheer her up.
It later becomes apparent that Martha is unhealthily
attached to Donny and she begins to send him hundreds
of emails every day and show up to all of Donny’s shifts.
stalking
As Martha’s behavior escalates, Donny tries to report
her to the police. However, due to feelings of shame
associated with Martha’s actions, he withholds the full
story. The police initially turn him away.
Donny’s story shows the subsequent effects of stalking. He
misses work, struggles with his mental health, and
experiences strains on his relationships with others as the
stalking begins to affect them. He also learns that Martha
has been convicted of stalking before, making her a repeat
offender like one-third of stalkers are.
Donny makes a series of subjectively poor decisions,
rooted in his pity for Martha and his own traumatic
experiences prior to Martha. He shows the unfortunate
reality that our responses to dangerous situations can be
terribly flawed and keep us in them for longer.
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sexual violence
To confront his current situation with Martha, Donny must
confront his past. Previously, Donny had experienced sexual
assault and rape at the hands of his mentor. The man had
groomed Donny by promising him success and facilitating a
dependency on a variety of substances.
Donny has a complicated relationship with his abuser as the
abuse begins slowly, becoming more and more overt with
time. Martha’s own assault on Donny reminds him of his first
assault and reawakens the effects of his initial trauma,
including a dealienation from his body and intense shame.
To those inexperienced with the trauma of either situation,
Donny’s response may seem counterproductive. However, his
actions following each assault and reluctance to report
either assault reflect the reality that relationships with
abusers and oneself after abuse are incredibly complicated.
toxic masculinity
Donny grapples with his manhood at every turn. As a male
being stalked by a female, he is made fun of by his peers and
is taken less seriously by the police.
After his initial sexual assault, Donny realizes he is
bisexual. He not only confronts his internalized
homophobia, but he also begins to address his internalized
transphobia as he begins a deeply romantic relationship
with a trans woman. He is in constant fear of what his loved
ones may have to say.
Donny only truly begins to heal after he confides in his
parents about the initial assault, confessing that he fears he
is less of a man for being assaulted by one. After his dad
shares that he had also been assaulted and was no less of a
man for it, Donny embarks on a path of healing with the
support of his family for both him and his girlfriend.
healing
Donny’s obsessive inclination to listen to
voicemails from Martha even after her
conviction and his decision to return to work with his prior
sexual abuser reminds us that responses to trauma vary
greatly from survivor to survivor.
Donny’s behavior is tragically human and clearly
endangers him physically and mentally. However, it also
allows him to feel as though he has reclaimed his power
and can better understand what has happened to him and
why it all happened.
Responses to trauma are never the fault of the survivor of
them, and Donny reflects the need for support for survivors
from mental health professionals ad loved ones.
If you or a loved
one have
experienced
sexual violence or
stalking, the
Center for
Survivor
Empowerment
can offer
confidential
services including
resource referral
and support.
