Messages for Building Up New Believers, Vol.

2
CONTENTS
18. Witnessing
19. Leading Men to Christ
20. Household Salvation
21. If Anyone Sins
22. Confession and Recompense
23. Forgiveness and Restoration
24. Believers’ Reactions
25. Deliverance
26. Our Life
27. Seeking God’s Will
28. Managing One’s Finances
29. Occupation
30. Marriage
31. Choosing a Mate
32. Husband and Wife
33. Parents
34. Friends
PREFACE
After Watchman Nee resumed his ministry in 1948, he fellowshipped several
times with the brothers about the critical need to provide believers with a
spiritual education. As a goal, he wanted to provide basic teachings to every
brother and sister in the church so that they could have a solid foundation of
the truth and express the same testimony among the churches. Messages for
Building Up New Believers, Volumes 1—3, contains fifty-four lessons for new
believers, which Watchman Nee released during his workers’ training in
Kuling. These chapters are rich in content and all-inclusive in scope. The
truths are basic and crucial. It was Watchman Nee’s intention that every local
church use this material to build up its new believers, finishing all the lessons
in the course of one year and then repeating the same lessons year after year.
Four of the fifty-four lessons appear as appendices at theend of Volume 3.
These four messages were delivered by Watchman Nee as part of the “New
Believers” series at Kuling mountain but were later removed from the final,
published version. We have chosen to include them as appendices. In
addition to these four messages, Volume 1 begins with a message given by
Watchman Nee at a co-workers’ meeting in July 1950 concerning the
meeting for the building up of new believers. It covers the importance of this
type of training, the main points to take care of, and some practical
suggestions.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
WITNESSING
Scripture Reading: Acts 9:19-21; 22:15; 1 John 4:14; John 1:40-45;
4:29; Mark 5:19
I. THE MEANING OF WITNESSING
How long will the light of a candle last? Of course, the light will go out when
the candle burns out. But if we light another candle with this one, the light
will double in intensity. Will the light of the first candle diminish because it
has lit the second? No. If we use the second to light a third, will the light of
the second diminish? No. The light of each candle will last until the candle
burns out. But when the first light goes out, the second will still be burning.
When the second light goes out, the third will still go on shining. If we keep
on lighting more candles—ten, a hundred, or a thousand candles—the light
will never go out. This explains the testimony of the church. When the Son
of God was on earth, He lit the first candle. After that, more candles were lit
one after another. For the past nineteen centuries, the church has been like
candles; when one candle burns out, it is continued by another one. This goes
on and on even today. The church has never ceased shining on this earth, just
as salvation has never stopped. Some have lit ten candles; some have lit a
hundred. Candle after candle has been lit, and the light continues on.

Brothers and sisters, do you want your light to continue, or do you want to
see it end when your candle is extinguished? You have been lit by someone.
He does not expect the light to end with you. Every Christian must try his
best to bring salvation to others. He must do his best to testify to others and
lead others to the Lord so that the testimony may continue on this earth from
generation to generation. It is unfortunate that with some people their light
ends and their testimony ceases. This is most pitiful! The church has been
propagating itself for generations. Some people find their testimony
continuing, while others have unfortunately gone without posterity. The light
of a candle can only shine while it is still burning. Likewise, a man’s
testimony continues only while he is still alive. In order for the light of a
candle to go on, other candles must be lit before the first one burns out. In
this way the second, the third, the hundredth, the thousandth, and even the
ten thousandth candle will carry on the light. This light will continue forever
and spread to all parts of the world. Such spreading will not diminish the
light of each candle. We suffer no loss when we witness. But by witnessing,
the testimony goes on.

What is witnessing? In Acts 22:15 the Lord sent Ananias to speak to Paul:
“For you will be a witness to Him unto all men of the things which you have
seen and heard.” From this we see that the basis of witnessing is what we
have seen and heard. You cannot be a witness to what you have not seen with
your own eyes or heard with your own ears. Paul saw something with his own
eyes and heard something with his own ears. God charged him to be a witness
of what he had seen with his own eyes and heard with his own ears. First
John 4:14 tells us what witnessing is: “We have beheld and testify that the
Father has sent the Son as the Savior of the world.” A person is a witness to
what he has seen. Thank God, you have believed in the Lord. You have met
Him, believed in Him, received Him, and gained Him. You are saved. You
have been delivered from sins, received forgiveness, and obtained peace.
Now that you have believed in the Lord, what joy you possess. This joy is
something which you did not have before. Formerly, how heavy was the load
of sin upon you! But now, thank God, this load of sin is gone. You have seen
and heard something. What should you do today? You should testify of your
experience. This does not mean that you have to leave your job to be a
preacher. It means that you should witness to your friends, relatives, and
acquaintances of what you have seen and heard, and bring them to the Lord.

The gospel will stop with you if your testimony does not continue. It is true
that you are saved; you have the life of the Lord and you are lit. But if you do
not light others, you will be finished when your candle burns out. You should
not meet the Lord empty-handed. You should bring many with you when you
meet the Lord. New believers must learn from the very beginning to witness
to people and bring them to the Lord. Never be lazy in this matter. If a
believer does not open his mouth from the very beginning, after a few days
he will form a habit of keeping his mouth closed, and then it will take much
effort to turn the matter around. You have believed in the Lord. For the first
time you have tasted so great a love, received so great a Savior, obtained so
great a salvation, and experienced so great an emancipation. Yet you do not
testify for the Lord or light others with your light! You really owe the Lord
something!

II. EXAMPLES OF WITNESSING

Let us consider four portions of the Word. They are good examples of
witnessing.

A. Going into the City to Tell Others

In John 4 the Lord told the Samaritan woman about the living water. By this
she realized that no one on earth can find satisfaction without the living
water. Everyone who drinks of the water from the well will thirst again. No
matter how many times man drinks of that water, he will thirst again; he is
never satisfied. Only by drinking the Lord’s water will we not thirst again,
because there is a spring that will flow out of us and satisfy us continuously.
Only this inner satisfaction can give us true satisfaction. The Samaritan
woman had been married five times. She married one man after another; she
had changed her husband five times, yet she was still not satisfied. She was
a person who drank again and again but was never satisfied. Even the man
who was with her at that time was not her husband. She, undoubtedly, was
not a satisfied person. But the Lord had the living water that could satisfy
her. When the Lord showed her who He was, and when she had Him, she left
her waterpot and went away into the city, saying, “Come, see a man who told
me all that I have done. Is this not the Christ?” (v. 29). Her first reaction was
to testify to others. What did she testify? She testified Christ. Perhaps the
people in the city knew something about her, but there were probably many
things which they did not know. Yet the Lord told her everything. She
testified to others, saying, “Is this not the Christ?” The moment she saw the
Lord, she opened her mouth to invite others to find out whether He was the
Christ. As a result of the woman’s word, many believed in the Lord.

Every Christian has an obligation to be a witness and to introduce the Lord

to others. The Lord has saved a great sinner such as me. If He is not the
Christ, who else can He be? If He is not the Son of God, who else can He be?
I have no choice but to open my mouth. I have to open my mouth to testify.
Although I may not know how to give a message, at least I know that He is
Christ. I know He is the Son of God, the God-appointed Savior. I have seen
that I am a sinner, and I know that the Lord has saved me. I cannot explain
what has happened to me, but I can ask others to come and see what a great
change has occurred in me. I do not know how it came about. Formerly, I
considered myself a good man. Now I see myself as a sinner. The Lord has
shown me my sins, things which I did not realize were sins. Now I know the
kind of person I am. I committed many sins in the past which others did not
know about and which even I myself may not have known about. I committed
many sins, yet I did not realize that they were sins. Here is a man who told
me everything I have done. He told me what I already knew, and He also told
me what I did not know. I can only confess that I have touched Christ and
have met the Savior. Here is a man who told me that the “husband” I had was
not my husband. He told me that if I drank of this water, I would thirst again
and come back for more. How true were those words! Come and see. Is He
not the Savior? Is He not the Christ? Is He not the only One who can save us?

All those who have seen that they are sinners surely have a testimony to give.
Those who have seen the Savior also have a testimony to give. This woman
gave her testimony within a few hours after she had met the Lord. It was
something that happened on the same day, not something that happened a
few years later when she returned from a revival meeting. She witnessed to
others immediately after she returned to the city. Once a person is saved, he
should tell others what he has seen and understood immediately. Do not
speak what you do not know, and do not give a long discourse. Just tell them
what you know. This is all you need to testify; you only have to tell others
how you feel. Some can say, “I was so depressed before I believed in the Lord.
But now that I have believed in the Lord, I have become so happy. In the past
I pursued many things but was never satisfied. Now there is an unspeakable
sweetness within. Before I believed in the Lord I could not sleep at night. But
now I can sleep well. I used to be full of anxiety and bitterness. But now I feel
peace and joy wherever I go.” You can tell others what you have experienced.
You do not need to tell them what you cannot say. You do not need to tell
them what you do not know. Do not speak anything beyond what you know
or beyond your present situation. That may stir up arguments. Present
yourself to others as a living witness. They will have nothing to say.

B. Going Home to Tell Others

In Mark 5:1-20 we see a person who was demon possessed. It is the most
severe case of demon possession recorded in the Bible. A legion of demons
was within this man. He dwelt among the tombs, and no one was able to bind
him, not even with a chain. Night and day, he would cry out among the tombs
and in the mountains and gash himself with stones. When the Lord
commanded the demons to come out from him, they did and entered into
about two thousand hogs. They all rushed down the steep slope into the sea
and drowned. After the demon possessed man was saved, the Lord said to
him, “Go to your house, to your own people, and report to them what great
things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you” (v. 19).

After you are saved, the Lord wants you to tell your family, neighbors,
relatives, friends, and colleagues that you are now a saved person. You
should tell them not only that you have believed in Jesus but also what great
things the Lord has done for you. The Lord wants you to tell others what He
has done for you. He wants you to confess and witness to others what has
happened to you. Others will be lit when you do this, and salvation will
continue on; it will not stop with you.

What a pity that many souls in Christian families are on the way to eternal
perdition. Some of our parents, children, relatives, and friends have not
heard the gospel of Christ from our own mouths. They have only the blessing
and happiness of the present age, without the hope of the coming age. Why
should we withhold from telling them what the Lord has done for us? These
are the ones who are right next to us. If they cannot hear the gospel from us,
who else can?

In order to witness to our family, we must show them the great change in our
conduct. We must show our family what a wonderful change has been
wrought in our lives since we believed in the Lord. Only then will they listen
to us. They will not have confidence in anything less than this. We must be
more righteous, more self-sacrificing, more loving, more diligent, and more
joyful than before. They will not believe us if there is no change in our
conduct. At the same time, we need to witness to them the reason for this
change.

C. Proclaiming in the Synagogue

Acts 9:19-21 says, “He was with the disciples in Damascus for some days. And
immediately he proclaimed Jesus in the synagogues, that this One is the Son
of God. And all who heard him were amazed and said, Is this not the one who
ravaged those who call upon this name in Jerusalem and came here for this,
that he might bring them bound before the chief priests?”
Saul was on his way to Damascus to bind the believers of the Lord. But he
met the Lord on the way and the Lord spoke to him. The moment light came,
he fell on his face and became blind. The men who journeyed with him led
him by the hand and brought him into Damascus. He was there three days
without seeing, eating, or drinking. The Lord sent Ananias to lay his hands
upon him, and he received sight, rose up, and was baptized. After he had
taken food, he was strengthened. After a few days he immediately went into
the synagogues to proclaim that Jesus is the Son of God and to witness to
others. It was obviously difficult for him to do this because he had been
persecuting the Lord’s disciples all along. He could have been a member of
the Sanhedrin. The Jewish Sanhedrin was comprised of seventy-one
persons, and he could have been one among the seventy-one. He had secured
a letter from the high priest and was on his way to bind the believers of the
Lord and to bring them before the high priest. What should he do now that
he had believed in the Lord? Originally, he was going to bind those who
believed in the Lord. Now he himself was in danger of being bound. Humanly
speaking, he should have escaped or hidden. Instead, he went into the
synagogues, not just one but many, to prove that Jesus is the Son of God.
This shows us that the first thing a person should do upon receiving the Lord
is testify for Him. After Paul received his sight, he went at the first
opportunity to testify that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God. Every believer
of the Lord should do the same thing.

Everyone in this world knows that there is a Jesus. But they only know Jesus
as one among millions of men in this world. In other words, Jesus is
considered merely as one man among many. Although they regard Him as
being a little more special than others, He is still an ordinary man to them.
But one day light and revelation came to you; the eyes of your heart were
enlightened, and you discovered something. You discovered that this Jesus
is the Son of God. You discovered that God has a Son! Jesus is the Son of
God! What a great discovery! You discovered that there is one man among
all men who is the Son of God. This is truly tremendous! When a person
receives the Lord Jesus as his Savior and confesses Him as the Son of God,
he is doing a great thing, a tremendous thing. He cannot let the occasion pass
by lightly, because it is a momentous event. Of the millions of men in this
world, he has discovered One who is the Son of God. What a great and
tremendous discovery this is! Among the billions of men throughout history,
he has suddenly found out that Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God. This is
indeed a great matter. We would marvel if someone were to discover an angel
among us. How much more marvelous is it when someone discovers the Son
of God? We do not know how many million times more superior the Lord is
than the angels. There is no comparison between the two. The angels are far,
far inferior to our Lord.

Here was a man on his way to bind all those who believed in the Lord’s name.
But after he fell and rose up, he went into the synagogues and proclaimed
that Jesus is the Son of God. He either was mad or had received a revelation.
He was not mad. Indeed, he had received a revelation. He actually had met
the One among millions of men who is the Son of God. Like Paul, you also
have met this Man among men, the One who is the Son of God. If you realize
how great the discovery you have made is and how important and wonderful
your discovery is, you surely will tell others immediately, “I have met the Son
of God.” You surely will proclaim aloud, “Jesus is the Son of God!” How can
a person sit still and act as if nothing has happened when he has believed in
the Lord Jesus and is saved? If a person has believed in the Lord Jesus and
yet does not feel anything, if he considers this to be nothing marvelous or
special, we doubt whether he has believed at all. Here is something great,
marvelous, extraordinary, special, beyond all imagination—Jesus of
Nazareth is the Son of God. This is too crucial a matter! It is not too much for
a man who has seen such an important matter to knock on the door of his
friends’ house after midnight to tell them of his discovery. A marvelous thing
has happened in the universe—Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God!

Here was a man who had just recovered from his illness; he had just had his
sight restored. We see him running immediately into the synagogues and
proclaiming, “Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God!” Every believer who has
seen the same should go to the synagogues and shout, “Jesus of Nazareth is
the Son of God!” Every time we consider how Jesus of Nazareth can be the
Son of God, we feel that this is the greatest discovery in the whole world. No
discovery can be more amazing and more crucial than this. What a
tremendous thing for us to discover that this man is the Son of God! When
Peter told the Lord, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God,” the Lord
Jesus told him, “Flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father
who is in the heavens” (Matt. 16:16-17). While He was among us in disguise,
no one knew Him except those who had the Father’s revelation.

Brothers and sisters, never consider your faith to be a small thing. You need
to realize that your faith is a wonderful thing. Saul had to go into the
synagogues to speak because he knew that his discovery was too wonderful.
You will do the same if you realize how wonderful the things you have seen
are. Jesus of Nazareth is the Son of God. This is a most wonderful and
glorious fact.

D. One on One
A person needs not only to go to the city, to his home, and to the synagogues
to witness to others about his faith in the Lord, but also to bear a special
testimony—to lead others to the Lord one on one. Such is the testimony in
John 1:40-45. The moment Andrew believed in the Lord, he led his brother
Peter to the Lord. Although Peter later became more gifted than Andrew,
Andrew was the one who led Peter to the Lord. Philip and Nathanael were
friends; Philip first believed in the Lord and later led his friend to receive the
Lord. Andrew led his brother to the Lord, and Philip sought out his friend.
Both are examples of leading men to the Lord one on one.

About a hundred years ago, there was a believer named Harvey Page.
Although he did not have any special gift and did not know how to lead many
people to the Lord, the Lord was gracious to him and opened his eyes to
realize that he could lead at least one person to the Lord. He could not do
many great works, but he could concentrate on one person. He could only
say, “I am saved. You also need to be saved.” Once he laid hold of one, he
would not let go. He would pray and talk to his friend until he was saved.
Through this practice he solidly gained more than one hundred persons for
the Lord by the time he died.

In a certain country there was a believer named Todd, who was very good at
leading people to salvation. He was sixteen when he was saved. It was a
holiday and he was in a village. An older couple from a church took him in
for hospitality. They were experienced workers, and they led him to the Lord.
The young man had lived a wanton life, but on that day he knelt down to pray
and was saved. In the course of their conversation, the young man found out
that the gospel could not prevail in that place because a certain Mr. Dickens
would not repent. When Todd heard this, he asked, “Who is this Mr.
Dickens?” They told him that he was a retired soldier over sixty years old. He
kept a gun at home and vowed to shoot whoever came to preach the gospel
to him. He regarded every Christian in the world as a hypocrite, and he called
them all by such a name. Whenever he came across a Christian, he would
behave in a violent way. No Christian dared to preach the gospel to him or
even walk past the street where he lived. If he knew that a Christian was
walking past his street, he would curse vehemently and fiercely. When Todd
heard this, he prayed, “O Lord! I have received Your grace today. You have
saved me. I must go and testify to Mr. Dickens.” Even before he finished his
tea, he said, “I am going.” He had been saved less than two hours earlier, yet
he wanted to witness to Mr. Dickens. The older couple advised him, saying,
“Do not go. Many of us have failed. He has chased some away with a rod.
Others fled when he threatened them at gunpoint. Even though he has
beaten up so many people, we do not want to take him to court because we
want to maintain a proper gospel testimony. This has given him the excuse
to become more fierce.” Todd said, “I feel that I should go.”

He arrived at Mr. Dickens’s door. As soon as he knocked, the man came to

the door. He had a stick in his hands, and he asked, “Young man, what do
you want?” Todd said, “Is it all right for me to speak a few words to you?” The
man nodded, and both of them went into the house. The moment they were
in the house, Todd said, “I would like you to receive the Lord Jesus as your
Savior.” Mr. Dickens lifted up his rod and said, “I suppose you are new here.
I will let you go and not beat you up. But have you not heard that no one is
allowed to speak the name of Jesus here? Get out! Get out right away!” Todd
said again, “I would like you to believe in Jesus.” Mr. Dickens became
furious. He ran upstairs and returned with a gun in his hand. He shouted at
him, saying, “Get out or I will shoot!” Todd responded, “I am asking you to
believe in Jesus. If you want to shoot, you can shoot. But just let me pray
before you shoot.” He immediately knelt down in front of Mr. Dickens and
prayed, “O God! This man does not know you. Please save him.” Then he
prayed again, “O God! This man does not know you. Please have mercy on
him. Have mercy on Mr. Dickens.” Todd knelt there and would not rise up.
He continued praying, “O God! Please have mercy on Mr. Dickens! Please
have mercy on Mr. Dickens!” After praying five or six times, he heard a
groaning near him. A little while later, he heard Mr. Dickens lay down his
gun. Soon Mr. Dickens was on his knees next to Todd, praying, “O God!
Please have mercy on me.” Within a few minutes, that man had accepted the
Lord. He took the young man by the hand and said, “In the past I have only
heard the gospel. Today I have seen the gospel.” Later, the young man told
others, “The first time I saw his face, it was truly a face of sin. Every wrinkle
spoke of sin and evil. Later, light shone through the wrinkles, and every
wrinkle seemed to be saying, ‘God is merciful to me.’” The next Lord’s Day,
Mr. Dickens went to church, and later he led dozens of people to salvation.

In the first two hours after his salvation, Todd led a notoriously difficult
person to the Lord. The sooner a new believer opens his mouth, the better it
is. We should not waste any time in leading others to Christ.

III. THE IMPORTANCE OF WITNESSING

A. Being a Great Joy
The two happiest days in every believer’s life are the day he believes in the
Lord and the day when, for the first time, he leads another person to Christ.
The first one, of course, is a particularly happy day. However, the joy of
leading another person to the Lord for the first time may be greater than the
joy experienced on the day of his own salvation. Many Christians do not have
much joy because they have never spoken anything for the Lord; they have
never led a person to the Lord.

B. Learning to Be Wise
Proverbs 11:30 says, “He that winneth souls is wise.” From the very
beginning of our Christian life, we should learn to win souls by various
means. We should learn to be wise. This will make us useful persons in the
church. I am not talking about delivering a gospel message on the platform.
Platform preaching can never replace the personal work of leading people to
the Lord. A person who knows only to preach from the platform may not
know how to lead people to the Lord. We are not exhorting you to give a
message on the platform. We are asking you to save men. Many people are
good at preaching, but not at saving men. They do not know what to do when
a person is brought to them. They are of little use. The really useful ones are
the ones who can lead men to Christ one by one.

C. Begetting Life
No tree will sprout without further growth. Likewise, no one can have God’s
life without begetting more life. Those who never witness to sinners are
probably in need of others witnessing to them. Those who have no desire or
interest in leading others to repentance unto the Lord are probably in need
of repentance themselves. Those who are silent for the Lord in front of others
probably need to listen again to the voice of God’s gospel. No one can be so
advanced that he no longer needs to save others. No one can advance to the
degree that he no longer needs to witness to others. New believers need to
learn to witness to others from the very beginning. This is something we have
to do for the rest of our lives.

When you become a little more advanced in the spiritual life, others may tell
you, “You have to be a channel of living water. You should be one with the
Holy Spirit so that the living water—the Holy Spirit—can flow into you.”
However, a channel has two ends. This channel of the Holy Spirit, this
channel of life, also has two ends. One end is toward the Holy Spirit, toward
life, and toward the Lord, while the other end is toward man. The living water
will never flow if the end toward man is closed. No one can be so wrong as to
assume that just opening to the Lord is enough. The living water does not
flow through those who are opened just to the Lord. One end must be opened
to the Lord, and the other end must be opened to man. The living water will
flow out only when both ends are opened. Many people are powerless before
God because the end toward the Lord is not open. But many more people are
powerless because the end for witnessing and leading others to Christ is
closed.

D. Experiencing the Misery of Eternal Separation

Many people have not heard the gospel because you have not yet testified to
them. The consequence of this is eternal separation; it is not merely temporal
parting. This is too crucial. A brother was once invited to another person’s
home for dinner. As he was very learned and eloquent, he spoke quite much
on intellectual subjects. Another elderly friend who lived nearby was also
present at the dinner. Since both were very intellectual, they talked for a long
time. It was getting late, and the host invited them to stay overnight. The
elderly friend’s room was directly opposite to this brother’s room. Not long
after they retired to their rooms, the brother heard the sound of something
falling to the floor. When he went to the other room, he saw the friend lying
on the floor, dead. Other people started rushing into the room. The brother
said sadly, “If I had known that this was going to happen, I would not have
spoken what I spoke two hours ago! I would have pointed out eternal
matters. I did not spend even five minutes speaking to him about salvation.
I did not give him an opportunity. If I knew what I now know, I would have
tried my best to tell him about the Lord’s crucifixion for him. But it is too
late! If I had told him these words at dinner time, you would have laughed at
me for speaking at an inopportune time. But it is too late for him. I hope that
you will listen now. Every person needs to believe in the Lord Jesus and in
His cross!” There is an eternal separation; this separation is not just
temporary. What a tragedy! Once the opportunity is gone, a man will be
eternally barred from heaven! We must seek out every opportunity to testify
to others.

D. L. Moody was very good at leading men to salvation. He once made up his
mind to preach the gospel to at least one person a day, whether or not he was
giving a message on that day. One day he went to bed, and then he
remembered that he had not preached the gospel to anyone yet. What should
he do? He changed his clothes and went out again to look for someone he
could speak to. It was already midnight when he looked at his watch; the
streets were empty. Where could he find anyone at such an hour? The only
person he could speak to was a policeman who was on duty: “You must
believe in the Lord.” The policeman was in a bad mood over something at
that moment, and he scolded Moody angrily, saying, “Do you not have
something better to do than persuade me to believe in Jesus in the middle of
the night?” Moody went home after sharing a brief word with him. But the
policeman was touched by Moody’s word. A few days later he visited Moody
and was saved.

As soon as a person believes in the Lord, he should make a resolution before

the Lord to lead men to the Lord. Everyone should have a record of how many
souls he will save in a year. He may resolve to save ten or twenty a year. He
should then begin to pray for them. General prayers are useless prayers. If
you go to the Lord and say, “O Lord! Please save sinners,” it is too general a
prayer. You must have a specific goal in mind. If you want ten, aim for ten. If
you want twenty, aim for twenty. You can prepare a book in which you write
down the names of the ones you have gained for the Lord. As you gain one,
write his name down. At the end of the year, you can count the number of
those who were saved and the number who remain unsaved. Continue to
pray for those who are not yet saved. Every brother and sister should practice
this. It is not too much to gain thirty or fifty souls a year; ten or twenty is
common. We must ask the Lord for a specific number in our prayer. The Lord
wants to hear our specific prayers. We should pray to the Lord every day and
should testify whenever there is opportunity. If all of us preach the gospel
and lead people to the Lord this way, our spiritual life will advance quickly in
a few years.
We must uphold the torchlight of the gospel and must light everyone around
us. Let every Christian go forth to light others. The testimony of the gospel
needs to go out from us until the Lord’s return. We should not be lit ourselves
without lighting others. We should light more and more candles. So many
souls before our eyes are in need of salvation. We must try our best to testify
to them and lead them to Christ.

CHAPTER NINETEEN
LEADING MEN TO CHRIST
Scripture Reading: Rom. 1:16; 10:14; 1 Tim. 2:1, 4; Mark 16:15
In the previous chapter we said that once a person believes in the Lord, he
has to witness for the Lord. In this chapter we want to talk about the ways to
lead men to Christ. If we do not know how to lead people to Christ, I am
afraid that much of our witnessing will be in vain. There are several things
which we must do and learn if we want to lead men to Christ. We can group
them into two categories: First, going to God on man’s behalf, and second,
going to man on God’s behalf. In addition, we would also like to say
something about passing out tracts.

I. GOING TO GOD ON MAN’S BEHALF

A. Prayer Being the Foundation
of Leading Men to Christ
There is a foundational work in leading men to Christ. Before one opens his
mouth before man, he first must open his mouth before God. We need to first
ask God and then talk to men. We always need to talk to God first, not man.
Some brothers and sisters are very zealous to lead men to Christ, but they do
not pray for them. A man may have great interest in people, but if he has no
burden to pray before the Lord, his work of saving souls will be ineffectual.
A person must have a burden before the Lord before he can witness to men.

The Lord Jesus said, “All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and him
who comes to Me I shall by no means cast out” (John 6:37). According to
Acts 2:47, the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved.
The first thing that we must do is ask God for people, asking Him to give men
to the Lord Jesus and to add them to the church. In order for men to be saved,
we need to ask God and implore Him. It is very difficult to deal with man’s
heart. It is not easy for us to turn a heart toward the Lord. We must first go
to God and pray for these people, asking God to bind the strong man (Luke
11:21-22). Afterwards, we can talk to them at length. We have to present these
people one by one to the Lord and pray for them fervently before we can
effectively lead them to Christ.

Those who are good at leading men to Christ are good at prayer. If you have
trouble getting answers to prayer, you will have trouble witnessing for the
Lord. If you have no confidence in prayer, you will have no confidence in
leading men to Christ. Hence, you must learn to pray in a practical way and
not let this matter slip by.

B. Preparing a Record Book

In order to pray for people in a proper way, you should keep a record book.
Allow God to put the names of those whom He wishes to save in your heart.
When you were first saved, how did you know to whom you should go to
make restitution? How did you know whom you should repay? It was the
Lord who put the person’s name in your heart and who reminded you of
particular things. This reminder compelled you to make restitution with
others. One day you suddenly thought of something. Another day something
else came to your mind. As a result of this enlightening, you dealt with these
things one by one. The same principle holds true in leading men to Christ.
Allow the Lord to put some names in your heart. When these names are in
your heart, spontaneously you will be burdened to pray for them. The Lord
may put a few people or a few dozen people in your heart. In writing these
names down, the most important thing to remember is to take the names
that the Lord has put in your heart. Do not sit down and simply make out a
list at random. You will be wasting your time if you mindlessly write down
something. Your success will be dependent upon how good your start is. You
have to ask God specifically for a few names. Out of all your family members,
friends, colleagues, schoolmates, and those whom you know, a few names
will spontaneously come to your mind. You will have a feeling for them, and
you will want them to be saved first.

A record book should have the following columns: The first column should
be a number; the second column, the date; and the third column, the name.
This will remind us of the number we have assigned to a person and the date
we began to pray for him. The fourth column should also be a date—the date
when the person is saved. If the person unfortunately dies, we can put the
date of death in this column. One should persist and not give up once a name
is in the book. The prayer for a person should follow him until he dies. If the
person is alive and not saved, you should keep on praying for him until he is
saved. One brother prayed for his friend for eighteen years before his friend
was saved. It is not certain when a person will be saved. Some are saved in a
year, and some in two to three months. Perhaps one or two of them may
prove to be very difficult, but in the end they will still be saved. You should
not relax but relentlessly pursue in prayer for their salvation.

C. The Greatest Obstacle to Prayer

Being Sin
Prayer is a test; it exposes your spiritual condition before the Lord. If your
spiritual condition is proper and normal, others will be saved one by one. As
you intercede continuously before the Lord, you may find one or two persons
saved after a few days or half a month. After a while, another three or five
may be saved. People should be saved regularly. If your prayers are not
answered for a long time, it must mean that you are sick before the Lord. You
should go to the Lord for light and find out where your problem lies.

The greatest obstacle to prayer is sin. We must learn to live a holy life before
the Lord. We must reject all known sins. The moment we take sin lightly or
tolerate it, our prayers will be hindered.

Sin has both an objective aspect and a subjective aspect. The objective aspect
has to do with God, while the subjective aspect has to do with us. On the
objective side, sin obstructs God’s grace and promises. Isaiah 59:1-2 says,
“Behold, Jehovah’s hand is not so short that it cannot save; / Nor is His ear
so heavy that it cannot hear. / But your iniquities have become a separation
/ Between you and your God, / And your sins have hidden His face / From
you so that He does not hear.” Psalm 66:18 says, “If I regard iniquity in my
heart, / The Lord will not hear.” If a person does not take care of the problem
of sin properly, he will find hindrance to his prayer. Unconfessed sins, sins
which are never dealt with by the blood, are a big obstacle before God; they
are the cause of unanswered prayer. This is on the objective side.

On the subjective side, sin damages man’s conscience. When a person sins,
no matter what he says to himself, how much he reads the Bible, how many
promises there are in the Word, how much grace God has, and how much He
accepts him, his conscience will be weakened and bound. First Timothy 1:19
says, “Holding faith and a good conscience, concerning which some,
thrusting these away, have become shipwrecked regarding the faith.” A ship
may be old or small, but it cannot leak. Similarly, our conscience must not
have a leak. As soon as the conscience is not at peace, many prayers cannot
be uttered. Thus, there are obstacles not only before God but even within
man himself. The relationship between faith and conscience is just like that
between a ship and its cargo. Faith is like the cargo, and the conscience is like
a ship. When the ship has a leak, the cargo will be damaged. When the
conscience is strong, faith will be strong. But when there is a leak in the
conscience, faith will be gone. If our heart blames us, God is greater than our
heart and knows all things (1 John 3:20).

If you want to be a man of prayer, you must deal with sin thoroughly. You
lived in sin for a long time in the past. If you are not careful with it now, you
will not be totally free from it. You have to deal with sin seriously; you have
to come before God to confess every sin, putting every sin under the blood,
refusing it, and coming out from it. Then your conscience will be recovered.
As soon as the blood cleanses, the conscience is recovered. There will be no
condemnation, and spontaneously you will see God’s face. Never give in to
sin. This will weaken you before the Lord. If you are weak before the Lord,
you will not be able to intercede for others. As long as sin remains, you will
not be able to utter anything in your prayer. Sin is the number one problem.
You should pay attention to it all the time, even daily. If one deals with sin
properly before the Lord, he will be able to offer proper prayers, and others
will be brought to the Lord through him.

D. Praying with Faith

Another important thing is to have faith in our prayers. If the conscience is
blameless, it is easy for faith to be strong, and if faith is strong, spontaneously
our prayers will be answered.

What is faith? Faith is freedom from doubt. It is to accept God’s promises in

our prayers. It is God who asks us to pray and who wants us to pray. God
said, “Concerning the work of My hands, command Me” (Isa. 45:11). If we
pray, God has to answer us. Jesus said, “Knock and it shall be opened to you”
(Matt. 7:7). It is impossible for Him not to open after we have knocked. Jesus
said, “Seek and you shall find.” It is impossible for us not to find after we
have sought. Jesus said, “Ask and it shall be given to you.” It is impossible
for us to ask and yet not receive. If we do not believe this, what kind of God
do we think our God is? We must see that God’s promises are faithful and
dependable. Faith is based on our knowledge of God. The more we know God,
the stronger our faith will be. We are saved already; we know God already.
Therefore, we can believe; there should not be any difficulty at all for us to
believe. When we believe, God will answer our prayers. Learn to be a person
full of faith from the very beginning. We should not trust in our feelings or
our mind. Instead, we should believe in God’s word. God’s promises are like
cash; they work. In fact, God’s promises are God’s work. The promises tell us
of God’s work, while His work is the manifestation of His promises. We have
to accept God’s promises in the same way we accept His work. When we
believe God’s word, abiding in faith rather than in doubt, we will see how real
God’s words are and we will find answers to our prayers.

E. Aspiring to Be a Praying Person

We need to have the ambition to be a praying person, a person with power
before God. Some people are powerful before God, while others are not.
When some people speak, God listens. When others speak, He does not
listen. What does it mean to be powerful before God? It simply means that
God listens to the person when he speaks. It is as if God is happy to be
influenced by such a one. Some people can influence God. Being powerless
before God means that God does not listen to the person when he speaks.
Such a one may spend much time before God, but God ignores him. We must
have the desire and the aspiration to see that God often answers our prayers.
No blessing can be greater than God answering our prayers all the time. We
have to pray to Him, “May every request of ours be pleasing to Your ears.” It
is a most glorious thing for God to incline His ear to us. It is a tremendous
thing for God to trust us to the extent that He can give us whatever we ask.

You have to present to the Lord the names that you are burdened with and
pray for them one by one. See how long it takes for God to save them. If your
prayers are unanswered after a long period, you have to deal with yourself
and with God. In order for your prayers to be answered, it is often necessary
to go through specific dealings. Unanswered prayer means that there is
sickness somewhere. If you do not mean business in this matter, you will
always fail.

This is why you need a record book. The record book will show you whether
or not your prayers are answered. Many people do not know whether their
prayers are answered because they do not have a record of anything. Newly
saved brothers and sisters should learn to have such a record book. Then they
will know whether or not their prayers are answered. They will know whether
there is a problem between them and the Lord. They will know also when
they have to deal with themselves and when they have to deal with God.

If you have prayed for a long time and there is still no answer, you should
realize that there must be some hindrance. The hindrances always occur
because there is sin in your conscience or there is a problem with your faith.
New believers need not worry about the deeper aspects of prayer. They need
only to pay attention to their conscience and their faith. Before the Lord, we
have to confess, deal with, and refuse our sins. At the same time we have to
genuinely and fully trust in God’s promises. If we do this, we will see people
being saved one by one, and our lives will be full of answers to prayer.

F. Praying Daily
You have to pray for those around you. Is there no one who needs your
prayers? How many colleagues do you have? How many neighbors do you
have? How many relatives and friends do you have? Always ask the Lord to
place one or two special persons in your heart. When the Lord places a person
in your heart, He intends to save this person through you. You should write
down his name in your record book and continually bring him to the Lord
through prayer.

You need to set aside a fixed time daily for this work of intercession. Whether
it be an hour, half an hour, or a quarter of an hour, it must be a fixed time. If
there is no fixed time for prayer, there will not be definite prayer. As a result,
there will not be any prayer at all. Hence, always fix a time for prayers,
whether it is a quarter of an hour or half an hour. Do not be too ambitious;
do not plan for two hours and end up not being able to carry it out. It is more
practical to set aside one hour, half an hour, or a quarter of an hour. Always
fix a time to pray for those who need your prayer. Do not relax. Do this every
day. After a while, you will see sinners saved one by one.

G. A Few Examples of Intercession

We will mention a few stories here to show you how others have done this
work.

1. A Boiler Worker
Once a boiler worker in a ship was saved. He asked the brother who led him
to Christ, “Please tell me the first thing that I must do for the Lord?” The
brother replied, “The Lord will choose a few of your companions and put
them in your heart. You will have to pray for them.” There were more than
ten persons working together at his place. He remembered one person in
particular and prayed for him daily. That person found out about this, and
he became angry. Later, an evangelist came by and preached the gospel to
the men there. After the meeting he stood up and said, “I want to believe in
Jesus.” The evangelist asked, “Why do you want to believe in Jesus?” He said,
“A person has been praying for me for some time. I have to believe in Jesus.”
The boiler worker had been praying for this man. Although he did not like
this in the beginning, the power of prayer overcame him, and in the end he
accepted the Lord.

2. A Sixteen-year-old Youth
A sixteen-year-old youth was working as a copy writer in a construction firm.
The chief engineer of the company had a very bad temper and almost
everyone was afraid of him. After the youth was saved, he started to pray for
the chief engineer. He was afraid of the engineer and dared not open his
mouth, yet he prayed earnestly for him daily. After a short while, the engineer
asked him, “I have over two hundred people in the company, but I feel that
you are different. Can you please tell me why you and I are so different?” The
engineer was about forty to fifty years old, and the youth was only sixteen.
The young man answered, “I have believed in the Lord, and you have not.”
The engineer immediately said, “I also want to believe in Him.” The youth
brought him to the church, and the engineer was saved.

3. Two Sisters
In Europe there are guest houses which are open to strangers. They are not
hotels, but they receive travelers. Once there were two Christian sisters
whose house was open to travelers. Sometimes, as many as twenty or thirty
would stay at their place. They noticed the luxury of the travelers’ attire and
the vanity of their conversation. The sisters were bothered and wanted to win
them over to Christ. However, there were many guests and only two of them.
How could they win them over? They decided to sit at the two ends of the
room during the conversation and pray for the guests from each end.

On the first day during the after-dinner conversation, each sister sat at one
end, praying for the guests one by one. One prayed from one end, and the
other prayed from the other end. They prayed for each and every one of them.
This stopped the guests’ jesting and chatting on that first day. They asked
themselves what had happened. On that day, one person was saved. The next
day, another lady was saved. One by one they were gradually all brought to
the Lord.

Prayer is indispensable. The first condition in bringing people to the Lord is

intercessory prayer. We must pray systematically, orderly, daily, and
relentlessly, until our friends are saved.

II. GOING TO MAN ON GOD’S BEHALF

Merely going to God on man’s behalf is not enough. We also have to go to
man on God’s behalf. We have to tell men about God. Many people have the
courage to speak to God, but they have no courage to speak to man. We have
to exercise boldness to speak to men. We have to tell them the kind of Lord
our Lord is. When we speak, we need to pay attention to a few things.

A. Never Engaging
in Useless Arguments
First, never engage in useless arguments. This does not mean that there
should never be any arguments. Acts tells us of a few arguments. Even Paul
argued (cf. Acts 17:2, 17-18; 18:4, 19). However, useless arguments do not
save people. Sometimes it is all right to engage in arguments. But this is
mainly for the benefit of other listeners. Try to avoid arguing with the ones
you are trying to save because arguments often drive people away instead of
bringing them in. If you argue with them, they will run away.

Many people think that arguments can touch men’s hearts. Actually, this
never happens. At the most, arguments can convince men’s minds. Their
mouths may be shut, but their hearts will not be won over. Arguments
produce little result. Try to say less in the way of argument and more in the
way of testimony. You have only to tell others that you felt happy and
peaceful after you believed in the Lord Jesus, that you sleep well now, and
that even meals are becoming tastier. No one can argue with you about these
things. They can only wonder. You have to show them that they do not have
your kind of peace and joy and that they should therefore believe in the Lord.

B. Keeping to the Facts

The key to leading men to the Lord is to emphasize the facts, not the
doctrines. Just recall what it was like when you were saved. You did not
believe because you understood the doctrines. Many people understand the
doctrines, but they do not believe. It is impossible for any brother to try to
lead others to Christ through arguments and doctrines. The key to leading
men to Christ is to keep to the facts. This is why simple ones often are more
effective in leading others to the Lord; those who are good at doctrines may
not lead others to the Lord. Some people can give wonderful messages. But
what use is there in winning the minds of others, if one cannot help them be
saved?

Once there was an old man who considered going to church a good habit. He
was not saved, yet he would go to church every Sunday and also make his
whole family go. But when he returned home, he would lose his temper, and
all kinds of bad words would come out of his mouth. The whole family was
afraid of him. One day his daughter, who was a believer, came to visit him.
She brought her little daughter with her. The old man brought the little
granddaughter to the church. When they came out of the church, the little
granddaughter looked at her grandfather and felt that he did not look like a
believer. She asked him, “Do you believe in Jesus?” The grandfather said,
“Children should keep their mouths shut.” After walking a few steps, she said
to her grandfather again, “You do not look as if you have believed in Jesus.”
Again the old man said, “Children should keep their mouths shut.” After a
while she asked her grandfather, “Why do you not believe in Jesus?” This
little child saw a fact—the way her grandfather attended church was different
from the way other believers attended church. The old man, who was
otherwise wild and hard to deal with, became soft after his little
granddaughter’s probing questions. On that day he accepted the Lord.

The preaching of the gospel requires skill. One must know the way God works
before he can preach the gospel. A person may preach the right doctrines,
and crowds of people may come for his messages, but the same crowds may
walk away unsaved. You will not get any fish with a straight hook. The fishing
hook must be curved before one can catch fish. Those who lead others to the
Lord need to know how to use a hook. Use only the words that can catch
people. If your words cannot catch people, try to change the way you speak.
Facts are words that catch; they are words that can touch others.

C. Being Sincere in Attitude

Do not delve into many teachings. Try to speak more facts. At the same time,
be sincere in attitude. Saving a man’s soul is not a light matter. I once saw a
person who wanted to lead others to the Lord. He was willing to pray, but his
attitude was wrong. He joked around as he spoke about the Lord. Whatever
spiritual power he might have had was lost through his jokes. As a result, he
could not lead anyone to the Lord. One has to be very sincere in his attitude.
He must not be flippant or funny in his attitude. He has to let others see that
this is the most serious matter in the whole world.

D. Praying for
the Opportunity to Speak
You also need to pray unceasingly for God to provide you with the right
opportunity to speak. When you pray, God will give you the opportunity.

One sister gathered a group of women together once a week and led them in
a Bible study. The women all worked in the same company, and none of them
believed in the Lord. One of them was very particular about her dress. She
was very proud and would not listen to anything the sister said. The sister
took notice of her and prayed for her. She asked God to give her the
opportunity to speak to the woman. One day she felt a desire to invite the
woman over for tea. Since this woman loved to socialize, she accepted the
invitation. When she came, the sister encouraged her to believe in the Lord.
She replied, “I cannot believe. I like to gamble, and I love pleasure. I do not
want to lose these things. I cannot believe in Jesus.” The sister said, “If a
person wants to believe in the Lord Jesus, she has to stop gambling. Anyone
who wants to believe in the Lord Jesus must give up vainglory. You have to
give up these things if you want to believe in the Lord Jesus.” The woman
said, “The price is too high. I cannot afford it.” The sister said, “I hope you
will go back and consider it.” After she said this, she continued to pray for
her. The woman returned home and knelt down to pray. After she prayed,
she suddenly said, “I have decided to follow the Lord Jesus today.” She
changed suddenly. She could not explain it, but her heart just turned. She
changed her attire; she no longer dressed the same as before. Wonderful
things followed one after another. Within a year many of her colleagues were
brought to the Lord one by one.

You may think that it is difficult to talk to someone, but if you pray for him,
the Lord will give you the opportunity to speak to him, and he will change.
The sister who was having Bible studies had been afraid to speak to the
woman because the woman behaved as though she knew everything and
could do everything. She appeared to be very arrogant, but the Lord gave this
sister the burden to pray for her. One day the Lord told the sister to speak to
her. She put aside her considerations and spoke to her. You have to pray on
the one hand and learn to open your mouth on the other. After you have
prayed for a person for some time, the Lord will impress you to speak to him.
You will have to tell him about the Lord’s grace and the things that He has
done for you. He will not be able to resist you because he cannot oppose the
things that the Lord has done for you. The newly saved brothers and sisters
must pray daily for the Lord to provide opportunities to speak to others.
What a pity that some people have been saved for several years already, yet
they dare not open their mouths to speak to their relatives and friends!
Perhaps your fear has caused you to miss many opportunities that were
waiting for you.

E. Speaking in Season and

out of Season
We mentioned earlier that you must pray before you speak to a person. This,
however, does not mean that you cannot speak if you have not prayed. You
have to speak to men even if you are seeing them for the first time. Always
grasp the opportunity to speak, whether in season or out of season. You never
know who you are missing. Speak whenever there is the chance. Always be
prepared to open your mouth. Of course, first and foremost, you have to pray
for those whose names appear in your record book. But you have to pray for
those whom you do not know. You should pray, “Lord, please save the
sinners. Whoever they may be, please save them.” Whenever you meet
someone and have an urge in your heart to speak, you should speak to him.

If we do not heed this urging, we may let a soul slip away from us. We should
not let so many souls slip through our hands. We hope that all the brothers
and sisters will testify faithfully for the Lord and bring many to Christ.

F. Studying Carefully
Each time you lead someone to the Lord, you have to do a detailed analysis,
just like a doctor who studies each patient’s case in detail. The doctor cannot
prescribe the same medicine to everyone. Certain sicknesses require certain
drugs. He administers a particular drug to a particular patient. The same is
true in leading men to Christ. No one can be a doctor without studying
medicine. In the same way, no one can lead men to the Lord without
studying. Some brothers and sisters are good at bringing people to the Lord
because they have studied the ones whom they brought to the Lord. At the
beginning of the work of leading men to Christ, a new believer has to work
hard to study each case. You should always study why a particular person
accepted the Lord. Why did a particular word open him up? Why did another
person not believe after hearing a particular word? Why did a person shy
away after listening attentively for a while? Why did a person accept when he
earlier had opposed? Why are there no fish after waiting for a long time? We
always have to find the reason that the Spirit is working, and we also have to
find the reason that the Spirit is not working.

If you fail to lead men to Christ, do not put all the blame on others. Those
who are good at leading people to the Lord always look for problems within
themselves. We cannot wait by the seaside and hope that the fish will jump
to the shore. Leading people to the Lord is not so simple. We have to spend
time to study and learn where the problems lie. Leading people to the Lord
is a skill, and this skill is acquired through working with people. There is
always something we can learn, whether through failure or success. Through
failure, we learn the reason for our failure. Through success, we learn the
reason for our success. In every situation, we need to study the reasons
behind the results.

If you do this conscientiously, you will learn many lessons. Eventually, you
will discover an interesting thing—as far as believing in the Lord is
concerned, there are only a few types of people in the world. If you meet a
certain type of person, you will need only to speak certain words to him, and
he will receive the Lord. If you speak something else to him, he will oppose
you and not believe. If you know how to handle these few types of people,
you can handle most people. You can handle those whose names are in your
record book, and you can handle those whom you come across by accident.
As soon as you come across someone, you will take the opportunity to witness
to him, and you will be able to tell immediately the type of person he is. You
will know in your heart what to do with this type of person and how to speak
to him. He will most likely be saved. If you study your cases one by one, you
will become a very skillful soul-winner after one or two years. You will realize
that soul winning takes wisdom. By God’s mercy, you may lead some to the
Lord, maybe a few dozen, or even a few hundred. If you study all these cases
carefully, you will become a very powerful soul-winner.

APPENDIX:
PASSING OUT TRACTS
A. No Time Limit
During the past two to three hundred years, the Lord has used tracts in a
particular way to save many people. One thing special about winning people
with tracts is that tracts are not limited by time. If you try to testify with your
mouth, you are restricted by time and personnel. You cannot speak twenty-
four hours a day, and your audience may not be available all the time. You
may be preaching a wonderful message, but the audience may not be there.
However, tracts are not limited by time. You can pass out tracts any time of
the day, and men can receive and read your tracts any time of the day. Today
many people do not have the time to come to our meeting. But tracts are not
limited by time. We can give them out to people who are walking on the
streets, who are cooking in their kitchens, or who are working in their offices.
This is the first convenience that tracts afford.

B. Tracts Can Convey the Gospel in Full

Many people are very zealous in testifying for the Lord and leading men to
Christ. However, their knowledge is limited and their words are lacking. They
cannot convey the gospel message adequately and fully. In addition to
leading men to Christ through other means, a new believer has to do his best
to select some good tracts in his spare time and pass them out to others. This
will enable him to do what he himself could not do otherwise.

C. Tracts Not Being Affected by Human Factors

There is another advantage to using tracts. In preaching the gospel,
sometimes we feel too shy to use strong words in front of people. Tracts do
not have this inconvenience. They can go to anyone and say anything they
want. A living preacher is often restricted by circumstances. But the
preaching of the tracts is not affected by any human factors. New believers
should learn to sow seeds with the tracts.

D. Passing Out Tracts Being a Way of Sowing

Another advantage of passing out tracts is that one can sow anywhere. The
Old Testament says that we should sow our seed in many waters (Num. 24:7).
It takes a considerable effort to speak to three, five, or ten persons together.
But there is no difficulty in passing out a thousand, two thousand, or three
thousand tracts a day. If one person can be saved out of the thousand tracts
we pass out, this is wonderful enough. New believers should learn to pass out
tracts in large quantities.

E. God Saving Men through Tracts

God has indeed used tracts to save people. I know of some people who slip
tracts under doors. Others drop them into mailboxes. I remember an
incident in which a person received a tract and then threw it away on the
street. Another person, who had a nail stuck in his shoe, was looking for
something to cushion his foot. He picked up the tract and stuffed it in his
shoe. He returned home and began to mend his shoe. Then he saw the tract
and was saved. There are numerous similar cases of people being saved by
tracts. Some of these cases are actually quite marvelous.

F. Much Prayer and Dedication of Heart

A newly saved brother always should have tracts ready in his pockets, and he
should pass them out when he is free. Like the work of leading men to Christ,
we should do this with much prayer and dedication of heart. While we are
passing out tracts, we can speak a word or two to others or we can remain
silent. Either way is good. If a new believer practices this, he will receive great
benefit from it.

CHAPTER TWENTY
HOUSEHOLD SALVATION
I. GOD’S PROMISE OF SALVATION
BEING TO THE HOUSEHOLD
Now we come to the subject of the unit of salvation. Everything is measured
by units. The unit of salvation is the household.

According to the Bible, in God’s dealings and communications with man, He

has given man many promises. If we know these promises, we will reap great
benefit for ourselves. If we do not know them, we will suffer great loss.

God’s promise of salvation takes the household as a unit, not the individual
as a unit. If a newly saved person sees this from the very beginning, he will
be spared many headaches, and he will gain much benefit for himself. When
God saves man, He takes the whole family, rather than an individual, as a
unit.

Concerning eternal life, the Bible takes an individual, not a household, as the
unit. However, concerning salvation, it shows that men are saved household
by household. The unit of salvation is the household. We want to spend a
little time to consider several portions of the Word. This will show us clearly
that salvation is for the whole household. We can inquire of God according
to these words. We can deal with Him not only for ourselves individually but
also for our whole family.
We hope that all the children who are born among us will not need our extra
effort in the future to bring them to salvation and to rescue them out of the
world. Some have already been born into our fleshly family. We should make
sure that they are born into our spiritual family also. We cannot afford to lose
them year by year and then fight to rescue them back year by year. We cannot
just beget them into the world; we still must bring them to the Lord.

If all the brothers and sisters agree that this is the way we should take, we
will have at least as many saved ones as the number of children in our midst.
The Lord has placed them in our hands. We should not let them go; we must
make sure that they are saved. Otherwise, it will take considerable effort to
bring them back from the world. All the little fishes born of our big fishes
should be on our side; we should not let them go back into the sea and then
struggle to catch them again. Whether or not the church will continue with
its second generation depends on whether our children belong to the Lord.

I hope that the brothers and sisters will see the importance of this matter.
Whether or not the church will go on in the next generation, whether or not
those after us will go on, depends on whether we can bring our own children
to the Lord. If we lose as many as are born to us, our second generation will
be gone. If generation after generation all those who are born into our midst
stand fast and if we also have some increase from the outside, the church will
be strong and its number will increase. We must never give birth to a child
only to lose it later. Instead, those who are born to us must be regenerated.

II. EXAMPLES FROM THE BIBLE

The Bible reveals the basic principle that God saves men household by
household. How can we prove this? Let us examine various portions of the
Word.

A. In the Old Testament

1. The Whole House Entering the Ark
Genesis 7:1 says, “And the Lord said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house
into the ark,” and 1 Peter 3:20 says, “A few, that is, eight souls, were brought
safely through by water.”

The ark was not for an individual; it was for the whole house. In Genesis 6
we see a man who was righteous before God—Noah. The Bible does not say
that the sons and daughters-in-law of Noah were righteous. The Bible only
says that Noah was a righteous man before God. However, when God
prepared a way of salvation for Noah, He commanded Noah’s whole house
to enter the ark. Therefore, the household, not an individual, entered the ark.

A new believer should bring every member of his household into the ark. You
can say to the Lord, “I have believed in You. You have said that my whole
household can enter into the ark. Lord, please bring my whole household into
the ark now.” God will honor your faith.

2. The Whole House Being Circumcised

Genesis 17:12-13 says, “Every man child in your generations, he that is born
in the house, or bought with money of any stranger, which is not of thy seed.
He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must
needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an
everlasting covenant.”

God called Abraham and made a covenant with him, saying, “I will establish
my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee” (v. 7). The sign of
the covenant between God and Abraham was circumcision. All who were
circumcised belonged to God, and all who were not circumcised were not of
God. God also told Abraham that his whole household needed to be
circumcised, including those who were born in his house and those who were
bought with his money. Therefore, the promise of circumcision was not given
to Abraham alone but to his whole household. Circumcision takes the
household as a unit. God’s promise came to Abraham’s house, not to him
alone.

3. A Passover Lamb for Each Household

Exodus 12:3-7 says, “Speak ye unto all the congregation of Israel, saying, In
the tenth day of this month they shall take to them every man a lamb,
according to the house of their fathers, a lamb for a house...and they shall
take of the blood, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper
doorpost of the houses, wherein they shall eat it.”
The Passover lamb was clearly given to a household, not to an individual.
Again we see the importance of a household before God. The Passover lamb
had to do with a household; it was not an individual matter. A lamb was not
prepared for each person, but for each household. The blood struck on the
doorpost and side posts was to protect the whole household. The angel of
destruction would pass over a whole household.

It is marvelous to see that the salvation prepared by the Lord Jesus Christ is
not for an individual alone but for the whole household, just like the Passover
lamb. If one man eats the lamb, it means that only he is being saved. But if
the whole household eats the lamb, it means that the whole household is
being saved. Salvation is for the whole household. The whole household eats
the lamb, and similarly the whole household strikes the blood. The whole
household enjoys these things together. May God open our eyes to see that
salvation is a matter of the whole household, not individuals.

4. The Priesthood Being for the Household

God’s promise of the priesthood was also for a whole house. It was not for
one or two individuals. Numbers 18:1 says, “And Jehovah said to Aaron, You
and your sons and your father’s house with you shall bear the iniquity of the
sanctuary.”

Verse 11 says, “This also is yours, the heave offering of their gift, all the wave
offerings of the sons of Israel; I have given them to you, and to your sons and
daughters with you, as a perpetual due; every one who is clean in your house
may eat of it.” God gave all the sacrifices and offerings to the house of Aaron.
The sacrifices were for the house of Aaron, not for Aaron alone. This is
because God accepts the house as a whole. Please remember that the
priesthood was for Aaron’s house, not for Aaron alone. The priesthood took
the household as a unit.

5. Household Salvation
Joshua 2:19 says, “Anyone who goes forth from the doors of your house into
the street, his blood will be upon his own head, and we will be innocent. And
whoever is with you in the house, his blood will be upon our heads if a hand
should come upon him.” Joshua 6:17 says, “And the city shall be devoted to
Jehovah for destruction, it and all that is in it. Only Rahab the harlot shall
live, she and all who are with her in her house, because she hid the
messengers we sent.”
Here we see Rahab the harlot and her household being saved. What did she
do? She received the spies. When she received the spies, God gave her a sign.
She was to tie a line of scarlet thread in the window. All who were in the house
which had the scarlet thread were spared, while the rest of the inhabitants of
Jericho were killed. The scarlet thread signifies salvation. The scarlet-thread
salvation saved Rahab’s household; it did not save just her.

We need to be very clear about the scope of salvation. Chapter two of Joshua
gives the promise, and chapter six gives the actual execution. Both the
promise in chapter two and the execution in chapter six show us that Rahab’s
whole household was saved. All who were in the house which had the scarlet
thread were saved. God’s salvation is for the whole household, not for
individuals.

6. The Household Being Blessed

Second Samuel 6:11 says, “And the ark of Jehovah remained in the house of
Obed-edom the Gittite three months; and Jehovah blessed Obed-edom and
all his household.”

Jehovah’s blessing in the Old Testament was to the household. While the ark
remained in the house of Obed-edom, Jehovah blessed the whole household.
The unit of the blessing is the household, not the individual.

Earlier we spoke of the matter of salvation. We will see that this principle is
not just confined to salvation. It governs many matters in both the Old
Testament and the New Testament. The house is considered one unit. God’s
children, especially those who are the head of their house, should realize that
God deals with man according to households. If you are ignorant of this fact,
you will miss much. If you are the head of a family, you need to lay hold of
this fact. You need to say, “Lord, You have told me that You are dealing with
my household, not with just myself alone. Therefore, I ask You to save my
whole household.”

Not only does the head of a household need to lay hold of this fact, but other
members of the household also need to inquire of the Lord concerning their
father’s house. Rahab was not the head of her house; she had a father. But
Rahab held to God, and her household was blessed and saved. It is very good
if you are the head of your household because you can speak for your
household. But even if you are not the head of your household, you can still
speak in faith as Rahab, saying, “Lord, turn my household to You to receive
Your grace and blessing.”

7. Rejoicing with the Household

Deuteronomy 12:7 says, “There you shall eat before Jehovah your God, and
you and your households shall rejoice in all your undertakings, in which
Jehovah your God has blessed you.” You and your household receive the
blessing of God and rejoice therein.

Deuteronomy 14:26 says, “You shall exchange the money for anything that
your soul desires, for oxen, for sheep, for wine, for strong drink, or for
anything that your soul would like; and you and your household shall eat
there before Jehovah your God and rejoice.”

Have you seen this? God promised the Israelites that they would eat, drink,
and rejoice before God on that day household by household. In other words,
blessing is for the household, not for the individual.

B. In the New Testament

What about the New Testament? In the Old Testament, God gained men
household by household, and the same is true in the New Testament.

1. The House of Zaccheus

Luke 19:9 says, “Jesus said to him, Today salvation has come to this house.”
This is wonderful. The New Testament declares the same principle. I am
afraid that many people have been preaching for over twenty years about
personal salvation only. However, the Lord tells us that “salvation has come
to this house.”

When you preach the gospel, you must pay attention to household salvation.
You must not look merely for individual salvation. If you truly believe and
expect this, your work will undergo a great change. This depends entirely on
your faith and expectation. If you expect others to come to the Lord one by
one, they will come one by one. If you believe that they will come household
by household, they will come household by household. The scope of God’s
salvation is the household. You must not make this scope smaller than it
should be.

2. The Household of a Nobleman

John 4:53 says, “Then the father knew that it was in that hour in which Jesus
said to him, Your son lives; and he believed, he and his whole house.” Here
only one person was healed—the son. However, the Bible says that “he
believed, he and his whole household.” You can lay hold of this fact before
the Lord. Although the son was the one who directly received His grace, the
whole household turned and believed. Our hope and expectation is that we
would bear fruit in such a prevailing way.

3. The Household of Cornelius

Acts 10:2 says that Cornelius was “devout and one who feared God with all
his household, giving many alms to the people and beseeching God
continually,” and 11:14 says, “...who will speak words to you by which you
shall be saved, you and all your house.”

Cornelius’s entire household was saved; it was not just one person who was
saved. Cornelius invited his relatives and close friends to hear the words of
Peter. While Peter was speaking, the Holy Spirit fell upon all those who were
in Cornelius’s house, and all of them received salvation.

4. The Household of Lydia

Acts 16:15 says, “She was baptized, as well as her household.” The apostle
preached the gospel to Lydia’s household, and the whole household believed
and was baptized.

5. The Household of the Jailer

Acts 16:31 says, “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and
your household.” This is one of the most outstanding verses in Christianity.
Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household.
God’s Word does not say that if you believe on the Lord Jesus, you and your
household shall receive eternal life. It says that if you believe on the Lord
Jesus, you and your household will be saved.
Throughout the entire Old Testament, God dealt with man by households.
Likewise in the New Testament, He deals with man by households. This is
the smallest unit; one cannot reduce it to a smaller one. If anyone believes in
the Lord Jesus, his whole household shall be saved. This is indeed a
wonderful thing. I do not know why this is so, but the Lord’s Word says it is
so. The Old Testament and the New Testament are consistent; both recognize
the same unit.

The church in Philippi started with a jailer. Paul said, “Believe on the Lord
Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household.” Verse 34 says, “And
he brought them up into his house and set a table before them; and he exulted
because he had believed in God with all his household.” Here we see a
wonderful picture. In the beginning the promise was given to the jailer; no
one else heard it. “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and
your household.” Later, the jailer brought his household to Paul. After Paul
spoke to them, they were baptized. Then the jailer brought them into his
house and set a table before them; and he exulted, having believed in God.
“Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your
household”—this is not something difficult to achieve. The apostle gave the
jailer a promise, and his whole household was saved. Everyone listened,
everyone was baptized, and everyone exulted.

Suppose the apostle told the jailer, “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall
be saved.” If this was the case, we would have to wait a few days after a person
was saved, teach him something, and hope that he would understand. Then
he might gradually testify to his family, and his family might eventually
believe and be saved. If this had been the case, how long would it have taken
for the jailer’s household to be saved? The apostle did not preach the gospel
this way. He did not deal with individuals one by one; instead, he addressed
the whole household. He said, “You and your household” shall be saved. You
need to see this: The salvation of a household is no different and certainly no
more difficult than the salvation of one person. You should never forfeit the
privilege of saving the whole household. If you bring the whole household
along, the whole household will be saved.

I hope that when the church preaches the gospel five or ten years from now,
household after household will be turning to the Lord. From now on, the goal
of our workers in evangelism should be whole households. If our goal is a
household, we will gain a household. If our goal is only an individual, we will
gain only an individual. God does things according to our faith.
If we are clear about God’s way with men, we will not suffer unnecessary loss.
God takes a household as a unit. If God gains a person, He should gain his
whole family as well, regardless of how many persons there are in that family.
I hope you will tell the brothers to rise up household by household. Those
who are the head of a family have the ground to bring their whole household
to the Lord, and they should help their families be saved.

Household salvation means household rejoicing. This is a great matter! If we

see that God’s dealing with man is by households, we will experience much
blessing. We must learn to lay hold of this promise of God.

6. The Household of Crispus

Acts 18:8 says, “Crispus, the ruler of the synagogue, believed in the Lord with
his whole household...and were baptized.”

In the Bible there are individuals who believed in the Lord and there are
households which believed in the Lord. Notice how easy it is for God’s grace
to come to a household. The whole household of Crispus believed and was
baptized.

7. The Promise of Pentecost

Being Given to You and Your Children
Let us consider the condition at Pentecost. Acts 2:39 says, “For to you is the
promise and to your children, and to all who are far off, as many as the Lord
our God calls to Himself.”

The promise of Pentecost includes the forgiveness of sins and the receiving
of the Holy Spirit. It was given “to you” and “to your children”; it was not
merely given “to you.” Those who are heads of the family in particular should
lay hold of this promise and say, “Lord, Your promise is for me and also for
my children. It cannot be mine without my children also being included. I
want it for myself, and I want it also for my children.”

8. Peace to a House
Luke 10:5-6 says, “Into whatever house you enter, first say, Peace to this
house. And if a son of peace is there, your peace shall rest upon it; but if not,
it shall return upon you.”

The Lord says that when a person sets out to preach the gospel, he should
say as he enters into a house, “Peace to this house.” This shows that God’s
peace comes to man by households. It is not just given to individuals, but to
households. If anyone is worthy of peace in a house, peace will come to his
entire household. This verse is clear enough. God deals with man by
households. Thank God, peace comes to man household by household.

9. The Household of Stephanas

First Corinthians 1:16 says, “I did baptize the household of Stephanas also.”
Here Paul said that he baptized every member of the household of Stephanas.
Like the jailer and the house of Lydia, Stephanas’s whole household believed
and was baptized.

10. The Household of Onesiphorus

Second Timothy 4:19 says, “Greet Prisca and Aquila and the house of
Onesiphorus,” and 1:16 says, “May the Lord grant mercy to the house of
Onesiphorus, for he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chain.”
Here was a family that took care of Paul, a household that was not ashamed
of his chain. Notice again that it was not an individual matter but something
to do with a household.

These numerous cases provide ample proof in both the Old Testament and
the New Testament that God deals with man by households. This is
particularly true in the case of salvation; God takes the household as a unit.

III. THE HOUSEHOLD BEING ALSO THE UNIT

OF GOD’S PUNISHMENT
We need to see some verses which show that the unit of God’s punishment is
also the household. When man rebelled against God, God was provoked and
He judged man. In judging man He took the household as a unit. God’s
judgment comes through one man to the entire household, just as God’s
blessing comes through one man to the entire household. Once we see this,
we will take a stand for our household and declare that our household is for
the Lord.

A. Pharaoh and His House

Genesis 12:17 says, “The Lord plagued Pharaoh and his house with great
plagues, because of Sarai, Abram’s wife.” The sin of Pharaoh brought God’s
plague to his whole household. God punished his whole household. If God’s
judgment comes to a household, we should expect that His blessing also will
come to a household. We are not those under condemnation but those under
His blessing.

B. The House of Abimelech

Genesis 20:18 says, “For the Lord had fast closed up all the wombs of the
house of Abimelech, because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.” God closed up all
the wombs of the women of the house of Abimelech. His whole household
was punished, not just one or two men.

C. The House of David

Second Samuel 12:10-11 says, “Now therefore the sword will not depart from
your house forever because you have despised Me and have taken the wife of
Uriah the Hittite to be your wife. Thus says Jehovah, I will now raise up
trouble against you from within your house; and I will take your wives before
your eyes and will give them to your companion, and he will lie with your
wives in the sight of this sun.”

After David sinned, God did not rebuke and punish him individually. He said,
“Now therefore the sword will not depart from your house.” This is very clear.
David sinned individually, but the result was that his whole household was
judged by God. In God’s eyes the people of this world are divided into
households, not individuals. We need to come to God household by
household.

D. The House of Jeroboam

First Kings 13:34 says, “This matter became a sin to the house of Jeroboam,
so as even to cut it off and destroy it from the face of the earth.” Jeroboam
was the one who set up the idols, but God judged his house and destroyed it
from the face of the earth.

First Kings 14:14 says, “Jehovah will raise up for Himself a king over Israel
who will cut off the house of Jeroboam this day and even now.” Jeroboam
worshipped idols, but God cut off his house. I do not know why God did this.
I can only say that in God’s eyes a household is a unit. This is too clear. Unless
we purposely ignore this fact, we have no choice but to acknowledge it.

E. The House of Baasha

First Kings 16:3 says, “I am now sweeping up after Baasha and after his
house, and I will make your house like the house of Jeroboam the son of
Nebat.” Because of the sin of one man, Baasha, God took away the posterity
of Baasha and his house, in the same way that he cut off the house of
Jeroboam. God deals with man by households.

F. The House of Ahab

I think one of the most well-known houses in the book of 1 Kings is the house
of Ahab. First Kings 21:22 says, “I will make your house like the house of
Jeroboam the son of Nebat and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah
because of the provocation by which you have provoked Me to anger and
caused Israel to sin.” Why did God deal with the house of Ahab? Because
Ahab provoked God. Ahab was an evil king in the Old Testament. God said
that He would deal with his house as He dealt with the house of Jeroboam
and the house of Baasha. The entire house would be cut off. The unit of God’s
dealing is the household. This is more than clear and obvious.

G. The Households of Dathan and Abiram

We will consider one last portion which illustrates our point quite clearly.
Deuteronomy 11:6 says, “And what He did to Dathan and Abiram, the sons
of Eliab, the son of Reuben, when the earth opened its mouth and swallowed
them up and their households and their tents and all their substance that
went with them, from the midst of all Israel.” When Dathan and Abiram
sinned, God opened the earth and swallowed not only Dathan and Abiram,
but also their households.

In the Bible, both on the positive side and on the negative side and both in
the Old Testament and in the New Testament, all records show clearly that
God deals with man by households. Brothers, we need to take care of how we
live before God, because what we do individually can affect our whole
household.

IV. THE NEED FOR THE HEAD OF THE HOUSEHOLD

TO MAKE A DECLARATION
I would like to speak specifically to the heads of households. In the Bible most
of those who bore some responsibility were the heads of households. The
head of a family has the special responsibility before God for bringing his
whole household to the Lord and to His service. You need to take your stand
as the head of your family to declare that your household will believe in the
Lord and that you will not tolerate anyone who will not believe. The head of
the household can decide for his entire household. Even if the little children
do not believe, you can still say that your household will believe in the Lord,
because this household is yours and not your children’s. You are responsible
for your household, not your children. You can declare Joshua 24:15 before
the Lord and before your whole family: “As for me and my house, we will
serve Jehovah.” You have to acknowledge that your family is a believer’s
family. You need to declare this by faith, and you need to put your wife and
children on this ground. Always lay hold of this fact: I am the head of my
family, and my family will believe in God. My household will not believe in
the devil. I have decided that this family will be a family that worships God.
I have decided that this family will be a family that believes in the Lord. If
you declare this with faith, and if you exercise your authority to take the lead,
your children will go along.

I believe the head of every household should make the declaration of Joshua
24:15. You should gather your children and dependents together and tell
them, “As for me and my house, we will serve Jehovah.” Then as long as you
are in the household, your household will serve the Lord. The household is
yours, and you have the power to decide whether this house will serve the
Lord. When you take this stand, everyone who is under you will come to the
Lord; they will have no other way to take. This is marvelous!

V. EXAMPLES IN ENGLAND
I read about this in the Bible in my earlier days, but I did not have much
experience of it then. Thank the Lord, when I was in England, He provided
me the opportunity to meet brothers who also believed in household
salvation. I found dozens of families here and there where whole households
were Christians. This gave me a very deep impression. God works according
to the way man believes. Among them almost every household experienced
household salvation. “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you
and your household.” There were very few exceptions among them. They
were all saved by households—father, mother, wife, children, and all. I was
very amazed as I spoke to them one by one.

Once I visited Mr. George Cutting, the author of the famous booklet “Safety,
Certainty, and Enjoyment.” The best-selling book in the world is the Bible.
The second best-selling book is this booklet. Although it is small, it is one of
the most widely circulated books in the world. When I met Mr. Cutting, he
was over eighty years old. His hair and beard were all white. He was in bed
all the time, and his mind was not very clear. When I met him, he said,
“Brother Nee, I cannot live without Him, and He cannot live without me.” He
had such a deep fellowship with the Lord. Thank the Lord, there were over
eighty members in his household. All of them were saved. Every one of his
sons, daughters-in-law, grandsons, granddaughters, nephews, nieces, great-
grandchildren, old or young, male or female, were saved. George Cutting
himself believed in the word: “Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be
saved, you and your household.” His whole household was saved.

George Cutting was very serious about this matter. He paid much attention
to household salvation, not just individual salvation. He had at least eighty
to ninety people in his household. All of them were saved. Thank the Lord,
“Believe on the Lord Jesus, and you shall be saved, you and your household.”
Faithful is the word.

VI. THE NEED TO BRING

THE WHOLE HOUSEHOLD TO THE LORD
I hope that the newly saved brothers and sisters will pay attention to this
matter. Once you are saved, you should gather your family members together
and declare to them, “From this day forward, my household belongs to God.”
You need to declare this whether or not they belong to the Lord and whether
or not they agree. You are the head of the house and you should do this. You
should take the matter into your own hands. You should declare that your
household will serve the Lord. When you exercise your faith to stand firm
this way, you will prevail.

If those who are saved through us are saved household by household instead
of one by one, what a difference it will make! Brothers and sisters, do not be
too loose with your children at home. One of the greatest failures of the
Protestants is that they are too loose with their next generation; they allow
their next generation to have the freedom to choose their own faith. The
Catholics do not have to preach the gospel. Their increase through natural
birth alone is greater than the increase the Protestants have in a lifetime.
Have you seen Catholics preaching the gospel on street corners like the
Salvation Army? No. They just propagate through natural birth, generation
after generation. Two become four, and four become eight. Every Roman
Catholic child automatically becomes a Roman Catholic. The Catholics do
not pay much attention to increase from the outside. As long as a person is
born into Catholicism, he is dragged into the religion whether or not he
eventually becomes a true believer. It is no wonder that the Catholic
population exceeds the Protestant population by more than three times. Do
not be nonchalant in this matter, and do not allow your own children to drift
away.

Let me repeat: A new believer needs to declare right from the start that his
household belongs to the Lord. Not only must he be the Lord’s individually;
he also must declare that his household is the Lord’s. Take full control of this
matter, and it will be done for you. You have to declare again and again at
home, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. All who live in this
house should decide to serve the Lord.” You should bring your family to the
Lord. You should not make any excuse. Do not allow anyone to drift away.

Household salvation is one of the greatest principles in the Bible. Once you
are saved, your whole household should be saved. As an individual you must
first stand firm for the Lord, and then your household will change. I hope
that you will pay attention to this matter. This is a great blessing. If you do
this, you will bring more people to the Lord.

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
IF ANYONE SINS
Scripture Reading: John 5:14; 8:11; Rom. 6:1-2; Num. 19:1-10, 12-13,
17-19; 1 John 1:7—2:2
After we are saved, we should sin no more. John 5 records the incident of the
Lord Jesus healing one who had been sick for thirty-eight years near the pool
in Bethesda. After the man was healed the Lord met him in the temple and
said to him, “Behold, you have become well; sin no more so that nothing
worse happens to you” (v. 14). John 8 speaks of the Lord Jesus forgiving a
woman who had committed adultery. He said to her then and there, “From
now on sin no more” (v. 11). Once we are saved, we are charged by the Lord
to sin no more! As saved ones, we surely should not continue in sin.

I. SINNING AFTER BEING SAVED

Since a Christian should not sin and should not continue in sins, is it then
possible for a Christian not to sin? The answer is yes! It is possible for
Christians not to sin because we have God’s life within us. This life does not
sin. It cannot tolerate any trace of sin. This life is as holy as God is holy. The
life within us makes us very sensitive to sin. If we walk according to the sense
of this life and if we live by this life, we will not sin.

However, it is possible for Christians to sin. We are still in the flesh. If we do

not walk according to the Spirit and live in life, we can sin at any time.
Galatians 6:1 says, “Brothers, even if a man is overtaken in some offense...”
First John 2:1 says, “My little children...if anyone sins...” It is possible for
Christians to be overtaken by sins. There is still the possibility of sinning.
First John 1:8 says, “If we say that we do not have sin, we are deceiving
ourselves.” Verse 10 says, “If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him
a liar.” Hence, our experience shows us that it is possible for Christians to
fall accidentally into sin.

Will a saved person who has fallen accidentally into sin still perish? No! The
Lord said, “And I give to them eternal life, and they shall by no means perish
forever, and no one shall snatch them out of My hand” (John 10:28). In other
words, once a person is saved, he is saved forever. “They shall by no means
perish forever.” Nothing can be surer than this! First Corinthians 5 speaks of
a brother who had committed fornication. Paul said, “To deliver such a one
to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the
day of the Lord” (v. 5). Even though the flesh of a believer who sins may be
destroyed, his spirit will still be saved.

Does this therefore mean that after a person is saved, it does not matter
whether he sins? No! If a person sins after he is saved, there will be two
terrible consequences. First, he will suffer in this life. If you sin after you are
saved, you will suffer the consequence of your sin. The person in 1
Corinthians 5 was delivered to Satan. This is a great suffering. After a person
has repented and confessed to the Lord, God will forgive him and the blood
will cleanse him. With some sins, however, there are further consequences
that one must face. Although Jehovah removed David’s sin of taking Uriah’s
wife, the sword never departed from his house forever (2 Sam. 12:9-13).
Brothers and sisters, sin is like a venomous serpent; it is not an amusing
plaything. If you are bitten by it, you will suffer.

Second, if a man sins he will be punished in the coming age. If a Christian

sins and does not deal with it properly in this age, he will have to deal with it
in the coming age. When the Lord comes again, “He will repay each man
according to his doings” (Matt. 16:27). Paul said, “For we must all be
manifested before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the
things done through the body according to what he has practiced, whether
good or bad” (2 Cor. 5:10).

Besides these two terrible consequences, there is another immediate result

of sin—the breaking down of fellowship with God. To a Christian, fellowship
with God is a most glorious privilege. Such fellowship is the greatest blessing
he can have. However, if he sins, he will immediately lose his fellowship with
God. The Holy Spirit within him will grieve for him, and the life in him will
feel uncomfortable about his sin. He will lose his joy as well as his fellowship
with God. Formerly, when he saw God’s children, he was warmly attracted to
them, but now he no longer feels that warmth; there seems to be a barrier
between him and them. Formerly, prayer and Bible reading were sweet. But
now they have lost their sweetness; he can no longer touch God. Formerly,
he treasured the church meetings very much; when he missed one meeting,
he felt that he had suffered a great loss. But now the meetings are tasteless
to him; it no longer makes a difference whether or not he goes. When he sees
God’s children, he wants to run away instead of meeting them. Everything
has changed.

It is a serious thing for a person to sin after he is saved! We must never be

loose in our conduct. We must never tolerate sin and must never give ground
to it.

But what do we do “if anyone sins”? If a Christian becomes careless and sins
by mistake, if he is overtaken by sins, what should he do? How can he come
back to the Lord? How can he recover his fellowship with God? This is a very
important subject, and we have to study it carefully.

II. THE LORD HAVING BORNE ALL OUR SINS

To take care of this matter, we must first realize that the Lord Jesus has borne
all our sins on the cross. All the sins which we have committed, as well as
those we are committing and will commit during our whole life, were borne
by the Lord on the cross.

However, on the day we believed in the Lord, under God’s light we only saw
the sins that we had committed before we had believed. A man can only be
conscious of the sins which God shines His light upon; he cannot feel the sins
which he has not yet committed. Therefore, the actual sins the Lord Jesus
bore on the cross are more than the sins that we see. The Lord Jesus bore all
of our sins on the cross, but we see only the sins which we have committed.

You may have been saved at the age of sixteen, or you may have been saved
at the age of thirty-two. All the sins you committed before your salvation are
absolutely and totally forgiven by the Lord. However, at the time of your
forgiveness, the number of sins that you were conscious of was actually much
less than the actual number of sins which the Lord bore for you. Your
experience of the Lord’s grace went only so far as your personal experience
of your sin. But the Lord’s work on our behalf was based on His knowledge
of our sins. We must realize that even the sins that we are not conscious of
are included in the Lord Jesus’ redemption.

Perhaps you were saved at the age of sixteen. Suppose you had committed a
thousand sins during the first sixteen years of your life. You might have said
at the time you believed in the Lord, “I thank You. My sins have been forgiven
because You have taken away all my sins.” In saying that the Lord had taken
your sins away, you meant that the Lord had dealt with your one thousand
sins. What would have happened if you had been saved at the age of thirty-
two instead? Proportionally, you probably would have committed two
thousand sins by the age of thirty-two. You might have said the same thing:
“O Lord, You have borne all my sins.” If you were saved at sixty-four years of
age, you would have said the same thing: “O Lord, You have borne all my
sins.” It is quite clear then that the Lord has dealt with the sins that were
committed during the first sixteen years of your life as well as the sins that
were committed from age sixteen to age sixty-four. The Lord dealt with all of
your sins on the cross. The criminal on the cross did not believe in the Lord
until just before he died, but the Lord took away all his sins (Luke 23:39-43).
In other words, the Lord took away the sins of our whole life on the cross.
Although, when we first believed in the Lord, we only felt the forgiveness of
our past sins, in actuality, the Lord took away all our sins, even those we
commit after we are saved. We must understand this fact before we can
understand how to recover our fellowship with God.

III. THE TYPE OF THE ASHES OF THE RED HEIFER

We have a picture of the Lord’s vicarious death for our sins in the type of the
ashes of the red heifer.
Numbers 19 is a very special chapter in the Old Testament. A heifer was used,
which speaks of something special. This heifer was used not to meet a need
at that moment but to meet a need in the future. This, too, is very significant.

In verse 2 God told Moses and Aaron, “Tell the sons of Israel to bring you a
red heifer without blemish, in which there is no defect, and upon which a
yoke has never come.” A heifer, not a bull, was offered here. In the Bible
gender is very meaningful. Male signifies everything related to the testimony
of the truth, while female signifies everything related to the experience of life.
This is a principle we should be familiar with in reading our Bible. Abraham
speaks of justification by faith, while Sarah speaks of obedience. Justification
by faith is objective; it has to do with truth and testimony. Obedience is
subjective; it has to do with life and experience. Throughout the Bible the
church is symbolized by females, because the church is subjective, being
related to the Lord’s work in man. A heifer is used here instead of a bull
because it represents another aspect of the Lord’s work—His work toward
man. The red heifer signifies a work that is subjective rather than objective.

What happened to the heifer? It was slaughtered, and its blood was taken
and sprinkled seven times directly in front of the tent of meeting. In other
words, the blood was offered to God because the work of the blood is always
for God. The heifer’s blood was sprinkled seven times in front of the tent of
meeting, signifying that it was for God and for the redemption of sin.

After the red heifer was killed, it was burned. The skin, the flesh, the blood,
and the dung were all burned. The whole red heifer was burned. As it was
being burned, the priest cast cedar wood, hyssop, and scarlet into the midst
of the fire. What do cedar wood and hyssop signify? First Kings 4:33 said that
Solomon discoursed about trees, from the cedar to the hyssop. Cedar wood
and hyssop therefore signify all the trees. In other words, they signify the
whole world. What does scarlet signify? This word is also
translated scarlet in Isaiah 1:18, which says, “Though your sins are like
scarlet, / They will be as white as snow.” Scarlet, therefore, signifies our sins.
For the cedar wood, hyssop, and scarlet to be burned together means that the
sins of the whole world were gathered together with the red heifer when it
was offered up to God; they were all burned together. Here, we see a picture
of the cross. The Lord Jesus offered Himself up to God. He embraced all our
sins. The gross sins were there as well as the lesser sins. The sins of the past,
the present, and the future were also there. The sins for which man feels the
need of forgiveness, as well as the sins for which man does not feel the need
of forgiveness, were there. All sins were upon the heifer, and they were all
burned with it.

After they were burned, what was done next? Numbers 19:9 says, “A man
who is clean shall gather up the ashes of the heifer, and place them outside
the camp in a clean place; and they shall be kept for the assembly of the sons
of Israel for the water for impurity; it is a purification of sin.” What does this
mean? This is what makes the red heifer so distinct. After the cedar wood,
the hyssop, and the scarlet were burned with the heifer, the ashes were
gathered up and kept in a clean place. Thereafter, if any of the Israelites
touched something unclean and became unclean before God, another clean
person could mix the water for impurity with the ashes and sprinkle it on the
unclean person. This would remove the person’s uncleanness. In other
words, the ashes were used to remove uncleanness. They were prepared for
the future. They would be used when uncleanness was detected at a later
time.

In the Old Testament, sinners needed to offer up sacrifices to the Lord. If a

person had offered up a sacrifice and then touched something unclean, he
would become unclean again before God and could no longer fellowship with
Him. What did he have to do? Another person would take some ashes of the
red heifer on this person’s behalf, put them in a vessel, pour in living water,
mix it into the water for impurity, and sprinkle it on his body. The man’s
uncleanness would then be removed and his sin forgiven. When an Israelite
brought a bull or a lamb to the Lord and offered it up as a sin offering, he did
it because of some known sin. But the red heifer was related to another
matter. The burning of the red heifer was not for known sins which had been
committed in the past, but for future uncleanness. The burning of the red
heifer was not for past sins but for future transgressions.

This shows us another aspect of the Lord Jesus’ work. One aspect of the
Lord’s work is like that of the ashes of the red heifer. The efficacy of
redemption is signified by the ashes. The sins of the whole world are in it,
and the blood is also in it. Whenever a man becomes unclean or has touched
some unclean things, he does not need to kill another red heifer and offer it
to God. He only needs to take the ashes of the red heifer that was offered once
and mix them with water and sprinkle them on the body. In other words,
there is no need for the Lord to do anything a second time. His redemption
accomplished everything. He made provision for all of our future
uncleanness and future sins. Everything has been fully accomplished by His
redemption.

What do the ashes signify? In the Bible, ashes signify something in its final
form. Whether a bull or a lamb, its final form after being burned is ashes.
Ashes are very stable; they do not corrupt into something else. We cannot
corrupt or destroy ashes. Ashes signify something in its final form.

The ashes of the red heifer signify the eternal and unchanging efficacy of the
Lord’s redemption. The redemption which our Lord accomplished for us is
most stable. Do not think that rocks on mountains are stable. Even rocks can
be burned into ashes. Ashes are more stable than rocks. The ashes of the red
heifer signify the Lord’s redemption which He has prepared for us. It is
forever unchanging and incorruptible. We may apply it any time. If a
Christian touches something unclean by accident and there is uncleanness in
him, he does not have to ask the Lord to die for him again. He only needs to
trust in the eternal and incorruptible efficacy of the ashes and to sprinkle his
body with the water of life, and he will be clean. In other words, the ashes of
the red heifer tell us that the past work of the cross is applicable for our use
today. We also can say that the effectiveness of the cross covers all the needs
we will ever have in the future. These ashes are specifically for the future.
Only one red heifer needs to be burned, and it only needs to be burned once.
Its ashes are enough to cover one’s whole life. Thank the Lord that His
redemption is sufficient for our whole life. His death has taken away all our
sins.

IV. THE NEED FOR CONFESSION

We have covered the side of the Lord’s work, which is redemption and the
removal of our sins. What should we do on our side?

First John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to
forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” In this verse the
word we refers to believers, not to sinners. When a believer sins, he must
confess his sins. Only after he has confessed his sins will he be forgiven.
When a believer sins, he should not ignore it or cover it up. Proverbs 28:13
says, “He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: / but whoso confesseth and
forsaketh them shall have mercy.” When a believer sins, he must confess his
sin. Do not give sin a nice name. Do not excuse yourself. Lying is a sin. When
you lie, you should confess that you have sinned. You should not say, “I have
said a little more (or less) than I should have.” You should say, “I have
sinned.” You should not explain it away or cover it up. You should confess
that you have committed the sin of lying. You must condemn lying as sin.

Confession means to stand on God’s side and judge sin as sin. There are three
things here: God, ourselves, and sins. God and sins are at the two ends, and
we are in the middle. What does it mean to commit a sin? It means that we
stand on the side of sin and that we are away from God. Once we sin, we are
away from God. Once we join ourselves to sins, we cannot be together with
God. As soon as Adam sinned, he hid from God and dared not meet Him
(Gen. 3:8). Colossians 1:21 says, “And you, though once alienated and
enemies in your mind because of your evil works.” Sin alienates us from God.
What does it mean to confess our sins? It means to come back to God’s side
and to acknowledge that what we have done is sin. We have come back to
God. We are no longer with sin. We are standing opposite of sin and calling
sin a sin. This is confession. Only those who walk in the light and who have
deep feelings and a repulsion for sin can have genuine confession. Those who
are callous to sin, who consider it natural to sin, are not making any
confession when they merely acknowledge something with their lips in a
heartless way.

Believers are the children of light (Eph. 5:8) and the children of God (1 John
3:1). They are no longer outsiders but members of God’s family. In a family
one should behave in a way that is worthy of the family. You are a child of
God, and you should know sin. You should have the same attitude towards
sin as your Father. The way the Father considers sin should be the way you
consider sin. Confession in God’s house comes when His children take the
same attitude as their Father towards sin. They condemn sin in the same way
that their Father condemns sin. They take the same attitude as their Father
with regard to sin. When a child of God sins, he should condemn sin as sin
just as the Father does.

If we confess our sins this way, God “is faithful and righteous to forgive us
our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” When we sin and when
we know our sin and acknowledge it as sin, God will forgive us our sin and
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. God is “faithful,” which means that He
must honor and fulfill His own words and promises. He is also “righteous,”
which means He must be satisfied with His Son’s redemptive work on the
cross and must recognize it. Based on His promise and based on His
redemption, He has to forgive us. He is faithful, and He is righteous. He must
forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

We have to pay attention to the words every and all in 1 John 1:7 and 9.
“Every sin” and “all unrighteousness” are fully forgiven and cleansed. The
Lord has done this. When the Lord says “all,” He means all. We should never
change it to something else. When He says every sin, He means every sin, not
just every sin committed before we believed or every sin committed in the
past. He has forgiven us of all sins.

V. AN ADVOCATE WITH THE FATHER

First John 2:1 says, “My little children, these things I write to you that you
may not sin.” These things refer to the forgiveness and cleansing from our
sins through God’s promise and work. John wrote these things to us so
that we may not sin. It shows us that the Lord has forgiven our many sins
and that, as a result, we do not sin. When we find out that we are forgiven,
we do not become free to sin; rather, we will not sin.

Following this it says, “And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the
Father, Jesus Christ the Righteous.” “With the Father”—this is a family affair;
it is something that happens after we are saved. We have already believed
and have become one of God’s many children. Now we have an Advocate with
the Father, who is Jesus Christ the Righteous; “He Himself is the propitiation
for our sins.” Through the Lord Jesus’ death and by His becoming the
propitiation for our sins, He has become our Advocate with the Father. These
words are spoken to Christians.

The propitiation spoken of here is the reality of the type of the ashes of the
red heifer in Numbers 19. It speaks of God’s forgiveness of our future sins
according to the accomplished work of the cross. There is no need to have a
new cross. We only need the work of the cross once and it is sufficient. With
the eternal redemption of the cross, our sins are forgiven. That sacrifice was
not an ordinary sacrifice. It was a sacrifice whose efficacy could be applied at
all times. It was ashes; therefore, it was applicable all the time. Based on His
blood, the Lord Jesus Christ has become our Advocate. He has accomplished
redemption on the cross. Based on His accomplished work, we can be
cleansed. If we sin by accident, we should not be disheartened by our sin; we
should not wallow in it or remain in it. When we sin, the first thing we should
do is confess our sin to the Lord. God says that it is a sin, and we should
acknowledge it as a sin. God says that this is wrong, and we also should say
that it is wrong. When we ask God to forgive our sin, He forgives our sin, and
our fellowship with Him is restored immediately.

In the eyes of God, no brother or sister should sin. However, if anyone sins
by accident, the first thing to do is deal with it immediately before God. He
or she should take care of the problem of sin immediately. Never delay. Deal
with it as soon as possible. You must confess immediately. Tell God, “I have
sinned!” Our confession is our judgment of ourselves. If we confess our sins,
God is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.

When a child of God sins and does not confess his sin but instead remains in
his sin, he loses his fellowship with God. There will be no further fellowship
between him and God. There is a leak in his conscience, and he will not be
able to stand up before God. He may still have a little fellowship with God,
but that fellowship will not be pleasant. Indeed, he will suffer. When a child
who has done something wrong comes home, he will feel that something is
not right because his father will not speak to him. He cannot have an intimate
fellowship with his father. He knows that there is a barrier between him and
his father. This is the pain that results from a loss of fellowship.

There is only one way to recovery—it is to go to God and confess our sins. We
have to believe that the Lord Jesus Christ has become our Advocate and has
borne all our sins. We have to confess our failures and shortcomings before
God in a humble way. We have to look to Him so that we will no longer be
proud or loose when we set out on our journey again. We have to realize that
we are no better than anyone else, and that it is possible for us to fall at any
time. We have to ask God for mercy and strength to go on step by step. Once
we confess this way, we will immediately recover our fellowship with God,
and the joy and peace that were lost will come back.

Finally, we should point out once more that Christians should not sin. Sin
results in suffering and loss. May God have mercy upon us, keep us, preserve
us, and lead us on in the way of unceasing fellowship with Him!

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CONFESSION AND RECOMPENSE
Scripture Reading: Lev. 6:1-7; Matt. 5:23-26
I. A CONSCIENCE VOID OF OFFENSE
After we have believed in the Lord, we must build up a habit of confessing
and recompensing. If we have offended anyone or have come short of
anyone, we should learn to confess or to recompense. On the one hand, we
have to confess to God, and on the other hand, we have to confess to and
recompense man. If a man does not confess to God nor apologize or
recompense man, his conscience will easily become hardened. Once the
conscience becomes hardened, a serious and fundamental problem
develops: It becomes difficult for God’s light to shine into a man. A person
must build up a habit of confessing and making recompense so that he can
maintain a sensitive and keen conscience before the Lord.

There was once a worker of the Lord who used to ask others, “When was the
last time you confessed to someone?” If it has been a long time since a
person’s last confession to another person, there has to be some problem
with this person’s conscience. We often offend others. If a person has
offended someone yet has no feeling about it, his conscience must be sick or
abnormal. The length of time since your last confession is an indication of
whether or not there is a problem between you and God. If the period of time
is long, it proves that there is a lack of light in your spirit. If the time is short,
that is, if you recently have made a confession to others, it proves that the
feeling of your conscience is still sensitive. In order to live under God’s light,
we need a sensitive conscience, and in order for our conscience to remain
sensitive, we need to continually condemn sin as sin. We need to confess to
God, and we also need to make confessions and recompenses to man.

If we have offended God and the offense has nothing to do with man, we do
not need to confess to man. We should not overdo anything. If a brother or
sister’s sins are unrelated to man, having only offended God, he or she only
needs to confess to God; there is absolutely no need to confess to man. I hope
that we will pay attention to this principle.

What kind of sins offend man? How should a person apologize to another
person or recompense another person when he offends him or comes short
in his dealings with him? In order to be clear about this, we need to carefully
study two portions of Scriptures.

II. THE TRESPASS OFFERING IN LEVITICUS 6

There are two sides to the trespass offering: One is revealed in Leviticus 5
and the other in Leviticus 6. Chapter five tells us that we should confess to
God and offer up sacrifices for forgiveness of our miscellaneous sins. Chapter
six tells us that it is not enough to offer up a sacrifice to God if we have
offended a person materially; we should also restore something to the
offended party. Chapter six says that if we have offended anyone in material
things, we should take care of the matter with men. Of course, we also need
to confess to God and ask for His forgiveness. But just dealing with God is
not enough. We cannot ask God to forgive us on behalf of the ones whom we
have offended.

How should we take care of the matter from man’s side? Let us look at the
trespass offering in Leviticus 6.

A. Some Sins That Are Trespasses against Man

Leviticus 6:2-7: “When a person sins and acts unfaithfully against
Jehovah,”—All sins are ultimately trespasses against Jehovah—“and lies to
his fellowman in regard to a deposit or a security, or through robbery, or if
he has extorted from his fellowman, or has found what was lost and lied
about it, and has sworn falsely—concerning any of the things a man may do
to sin thereby—then it shall be, when he sins and is guilty, that he shall return
what he took by robbery, or what he got by extortion, or the deposit which
was deposited with him, or the lost thing which he found, or anything about
which he swore falsely; he shall make restitution for it in full and add to it
one-fifth more; he shall give it to whom it belongs on the day he is found
guilty. Then he shall bring to the priest his trespass offering to Jehovah, a
ram without blemish from the flock, according to the valuation, for a trespass
offering. And the priest shall make propitiation for him before Jehovah, and
he shall be forgiven for whatever he may have done by which he has become
guilty.” A person who has offended anyone or transgressed against anyone in
material things has to settle it with men before he can be forgiven. If he does
not settle it with men, he will not be forgiven.

There are six kinds of transgressions against man in these verses:

(1) Lying to one’s fellowman in regard to a deposit: This means to be

entrusted with something and then to purposely withhold the good and
costly portions while surrendering the inferior portions. This is lying, and it
is a sin before God. We should not lie to others in regard to their deposit but
rather guard it faithfully. God’s children should always guard faithfully the
things that others have entrusted to them. If we cannot guard it, we should
not accept such a deposit. Once we accept it, we should do our best to guard
it. If anything happens to it through our unfaithfulness, we have trespassed
against man.

(2) Lying to one’s fellowman in regard to a security: This means to deal

falsely or to lie in business transactions or to profit through improper means
or to usurp something that is not yours in trade. This is to sin before the Lord,
and it should be dealt with in a strict way.

(3) Robbing a fellowman: Although this may not happen among the saints,
we still have to say something about it. No one may acquire anything by way
of robbery. Anyone who tries to usurp the possessions of others by means of
his status or power has committed a sin.

(4) Extorting from one’s fellowman: It is a sin to take advantage of anyone

through the influence of one’s own position and power. In God’s eyes His
children should never do such a thing. This kind of conduct must be dealt
with.

(5) Finding what is lost and lying about it: New believers must pay special
attention to this matter. Many people have lied about the things which others
have lost. To turn something into nothing, to reduce much to little, or to
exchange what is bad for what is good is the same as lying. Something is
there, yet you say that nothing is there. There may be much, but you say that
there is little. Something may be good, but you say that it is bad—all this is
lying. Others have lost something, and you take advantage of them, extorting
some gain and benefit out of them; this is sin. A Christian must not take
possession of others’ belongings and make them his own. If you have picked
up something by accident, you have to guard it well and return it to the
owner. Never claim lost items as your own. It is wrong to keep lost articles;
it is more wrong to usurp the possessions of others by illegal means. To turn
other’s possessions into one’s own by any unrighteous means is wrong. A
believer should not do anything that profits himself at the expense of others.

(6) Swearing falsely: It is a sin to swear falsely concerning any material thing.
You know something, yet you say that you do not know. You have seen
something, yet you say that you have not seen it. Something is there, yet you
say that nothing is there. Anyone who swears falsely has sinned.

“Concerning any of the things a man may do to sin thereby”—this refers to

transgressions against men in terms of material things. God’s children
should learn and always remember this lesson—they should not make the
possessions of others their own. The possessions of others belong to them.
Do not make their possessions yours. Whoever swears falsely in any of the
things mentioned above and transgresses against others has sinned.

Brothers and sisters, if there is any dishonesty in anything you do, if you have
acquired anything at the expense of others, or if you have acquired anything
by means of these six ways, you have sinned. You have to deal with these sins
thoroughly.

B. How to Return
Our manner of life has to be righteous, and our conscience must be void of
offense before God. God’s Word says, “Then it shall be, when he sins and is
guilty, that he shall return what he took by robbery” (v. 4). The word return is
very important. There are two aspects to the trespass offering. On the one
hand, there is the need of propitiation before God. On the other hand, there
is the need to “return” to man that which has been taken. Do not think that
propitiation before God is sufficient. You must also return to man that which
has been taken. If you do not return it, something is lacking. The trespass
offering in Leviticus 5 deals with sins that do not involve material
transgressions against people. Of course, there is no need to return anything
in that case. But the sins spoken of in chapter six involve material loss, in
which case one must return something. Propitiation through sacrifice was
not enough. One still had to “return” that which was taken. This is why verse
4 says, “Then it shall be, when he sins and is guilty, that he shall return what
he took by robbery.” Everything acquired through sinful means must be
returned. One must return what was taken by robbery, what was gained
through extortion, what was deposited with him, whatever has been found,
and whatever has been falsely sworn. All of these things must be returned.

How does a person return these things? “He shall make restitution for it in
full and add to it one-fifth more; he shall give it to whom it belongs on the
day he is found guilty” (v. 5). Here are three things that we need to take note
of.

First, we have to make restitution in full. We are wrong if we do not make

any restitution. We are equally wrong if our restitution is not made in full.
No one should consider an apology as being sufficient. If the object in
question remains in our house, it proves that we are still wrong; we have to
return it in full.

Second, God wants us to not only return in full, but also to add one-fifth more
when we make a recompense. Why must we add one-fifth? According to this
principle, we have to return abundantly. If we have taken money or things
from others, God wants us to add one-fifth to the full amount when we return
it. God does not want His children to return the bare minimum. In printing
books one has to leave margins at the top, bottom, left, and right of a page.
Similarly, we should not be stingy in apologizing to people and returning
what has been taken from them. We must be generous and liberal.

Some people do not add one-fifth to their recompense. In fact, they return
much less than one-fifth of what was owed. They apologize by saying,
“Although I offended you in this matter, I was not wrong in other matters. In
other matters I did not offend you; rather, you offended me.” This is a settling
of accounts, not a confession. If you want to confess, do not be that stingy. It
is all right to apologize more than you need to, but do not apologize less. Why
did you sin in the first place? Since you have to recompense now, be more
generous. Do not take things away from others and then return only that
much to them. You have to return generously.

God’s children should behave in a way that is worthy of their dignity. Even
in the matter of confession, we should do it in a way that is worthy of our
dignity. An apology that is in the way of settling accounts is not the kind of
confession that God’s children should have. God’s children should confess
their transgressions thoroughly and add one-fifth to the recompense. No one
should be calculating and unwilling to make the smallest of sacrifices when
confessing. If you are concerned about how much each party owes the other
when you apologize, you are not behaving like a Christian. Some people say,
“I was not angry at first, but your words made me angry. Since I have
confessed my wrong already, it is your turn to confess your wrong.” This is
altogether a matter of settling accounts; this is not a confession. If you are
making a confession, you should go an extra mile. Be more generous in the
matter of confession. Do not withhold anything in your confession; instead,
try to be liberal in it.

Adding one-fifth to our confession or recompense reminds us that offending

others is a losing proposition and that we should never do it again. When a
new believer offends others, he should realize that he will suffer loss
eventually, even though he may gain something temporarily. He took five-
fifths, but he has to return six-fifths. It is easy to take something from
someone. But when you return it, you have to not only return it in full but
also add one-fifth.

Third, we should make our confession and recompense as soon as possible.

Verse 5 says, “He shall give it to whom it belongs on the day he is found
guilty.” If it is within our ability to return the object, or if the object in
question is still in our hand, we should return it on the day we learn of this
sin. It is easy for people to delay in this matter. But the more God’s children
put off confession and recompense, the more their feeling will become dull.
As soon as we receive the light, we have to act upon it. We have to return it
that very day. Hopefully, our brothers and sisters will take a straight path
from the day they become a Christian. We should never take advantage of
others and never be unrighteous. The basic principle of the Christian life on
earth is not to take advantage of others. Taking advantage of others in any
way is wrong. We must not take advantage of others. Instead, we must be
righteous from the very beginning.

We have to give back to others. But this is not all. We should not think that
everything is settled after we have made our apology and recompense. The
matter is not settled. “Then he shall bring to the priest his trespass offering
to Jehovah, a ram without blemish from the flock, according to the valuation,
for a trespass offering” (v. 6). After we have confessed to and recompensed
others, we still have to go to God for forgiveness. The trespass offering in
chapter five deals with just God because no material loss is involved. But
chapter six speaks of transgression against man. Therefore, one must deal
with man first, before going to God to ask for forgiveness. Before a matter
has been settled with man, one cannot go to God to ask for forgiveness. What
happens once one has settled the matter with man and has asked for
forgiveness before God? “The priest shall make propitiation for him before
Jehovah, and he shall be forgiven for whatever he may have done by which
he has become guilty” (v. 7). This is what the Lord wants. Whoever has
transgressed materially against man should try his best to make recompense.
Then he can come before God and ask for forgiveness through the Lord’s
blood.

We should not consider this as a trivial matter. Once we are careless, we take
advantage of others and transgress against them. God’s children should
remember this point and pay attention to it all their lives. In whatever matter
they have transgressed against others, they should return these things to
them and ask God for forgiveness.

III. THE TEACHING OF MATTHEW 5

Now let us turn to another portion—Matthew 5. This chapter is different
from Leviticus 6, which speaks of transgressions against man just in terms
of material things. Matthew 5 deals with more than just transgressions in
material things.

Matthew 5:23-26 says, “Therefore if you are offering your gift at the altar and
there you remember that your brother has something against you, leave your
gift there before the altar, and first go and be reconciled to your brother, and
then come and offer your gift. Be well disposed quickly toward your opponent
at law, while you are with him on the way, lest the opponent deliver you to
the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be thrown into prison. Truly
I say to you, You shall by no means come out from there until you pay the
last quadrans.” The quadrans spoken of here do not refer to just physical
quadrans. They refer to the principle of coming up short in something.

The Lord says, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there
you remember that your brother has something against you.” This
specifically refers to disputes among God’s children and among the brothers.
If you are offering a gift at the altar, that is, if you are offering something to
God, and suddenly remember that your brother has something against you,
this remembering is God’s leading. The Holy Spirit often gives you a
necessary thought and reminds you of necessary things. When you
remember something or are reminded of something, do not put the thought
aside and think that it is merely a thought. As soon as you remember
something, you should carefully deal with it.

If you remember that your brother has something against you, this means
you have transgressed against him. Your transgression may or may not be in
material things. Perhaps you have offended him by acting unrighteously
towards him. The emphasis is not on material things but on that which sets
others against you. A new believer should realize that if he offends a person
and does not apologize and ask for forgiveness, he is finished as soon as the
offended party mentions his name and sighs before God. Whatever he offers
to God will not be accepted. Whatever he prays will be turned down. We
should not allow any brother or sister to sigh before God because of us. Once
he or she sighs, we are finished before God. If we have done something wrong
or if we have offended or hurt someone, the offended party need not accuse
us before God. All he has to say before God is, “Oh! So-and-so...” or, for that
matter, he just needs to utter an “Oh” and whatever we offer to God will be
rejected. All he has to do is sigh a little because of us before God. We must
not give any brother or sister the reason or the ground to sigh before God
because of us. If we give him or her a reason to sigh, we will lose all our
spiritual prospects and all our gifts to God will be annulled.

If you are offering a gift at the altar and remember that your brother has
anything against you or has any reason to sigh because of you, do not offer
up your gift. If you want to offer to God, “First go and be reconciled to your
brother, and then come and offer your gift.” God wants the gift, but you must
first be reconciled to others. Those who are not reconciled to men will not be
able to offer a gift to God. You must “leave your gift there before the altar,
and first go and be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your
gift.” Do you see the proper way? You must first go and be reconciled to your
brother. What does it mean to be reconciled to one’s brother? It means to
remove the brother’s wrath. You may need to either apologize or
recompense. However, the point is to satisfy your brother. It is not a matter
of adding one-fifth or one-tenth; it is a matter of reconciliation.
Reconciliation means satisfying the other’s demand.

When you have offended and transgressed against your brother, when he is
disturbed and feels that you are unrighteous, and when you have caused him
to sigh before God, your spiritual fellowship with God is interrupted; your
spiritual prospects are gone. You may not have the slightest feeling that you
are in darkness, and you may feel that you are all right, but the gift you offer
at the altar has become void. You cannot ask anything of God. You cannot
even give anything to God. You cannot offer anything to God, much less
receive any answer from Him. You may have offered up everything on the
altar, but God is not pleased with any of it. Therefore, when you come to
God’s altar, you must first be reconciled to your brother. Whatever demands
he has, you must try your best to satisfy him. Learn to satisfy the righteous
requirement of God as well as the righteous requirement of your brother. You
can offer your gift to God only after you have done this. This is quite serious.

We should not offend others easily. In particular, we must not offend a

brother or a sister lightly. If we offend a brother or a sister, we immediately
fall under God’s judgment, and it is not easy to be recovered. In verse 25 the
Lord emphasized, “Be well disposed quickly toward your opponent at law,
while you are with him on the way.” Here is a brother who has suffered
injustice at our hand; he is not at peace before God. The Lord’s words to us
are in human terms. Our brother is like a plaintiff in a court of law. The
expression while you are with him on the way is wonderful. Today we are
all still on the way. Our brother has not died and neither have we. He is here,
and we are here. He is on the way, and we are also on the way. We have to be
well disposed quickly with him. It is very easy for us to not be here someday;
it is very easy for us to not be on the way. It is also very easy for our brother
to not be here and to not be on the way. No one knows who will go first. By
then it will be too late to do anything. While he and we are still on the way,
that is, while both parties are still here, there is the opportunity to speak to
one another and apologize. We should be reconciled to each other quickly.
The door of salvation will not be open forever. The same is true with the door
of mutual confession among the brothers. Brothers have often regretted that
they lost their opportunity to confess to each other; the offended party is no
longer on the way. If we have any offense toward men, we should seize
whatever opportunity we have to be reconciled to them quickly while we are
both still on the way. We do not know whether or not others will be here
tomorrow. We also do not know whether or not we ourselves will be here
tomorrow. Therefore, we have to be well disposed with the brothers while we
are still on the way. Once one party is no longer on the way, it is impossible
to settle the matter.

We have to realize how serious this matter is! You cannot be nonchalant or
careless about it. While there is still today, be well disposed with your brother
quickly! If you know that a brother has a complaint against you, you have to
deal with it. You must try your best to apologize lest there be no opportunity
to reconcile later.

Following this, the Lord speaks again in human terms, saying, “Lest the
opponent deliver you to the judge, and the judge to the officer, and you be
thrown into prison. Truly I say to you, You shall by no means come out from
there until you pay the last quadrans.” We will not go into biblical
interpretation concerning the paying of the last quadrans. We are only
pointing out the practice of paying the last quadrans. We have to see that this
matter must be resolved properly. If we do not resolve it properly, the case
will not be settled. The Lord is not speaking of a future judgment or of being
thrown into and being released from an actual prison. The Lord’s emphasis
is not on these things. His concern is that we would be reconciled today, that
we would pay every quadrans today, not putting the matter off until later. We
must do this while we are still on the way. We must not put off the matter
today and hope that it will be resolved later. This is unwise, and it does not
pay to leave the matter to the future.

God’s children should learn this lesson well. We must make recompense
when recompense is due and confession when confession is due. We should
make recompense again and again and apologize again and again. We should
not allow a brother or sister to harbor any complaint against us. If our
conscience is pure, and the wrong is clearly not on our side, we can be at
peace. Otherwise, if there is any wrongdoing on our part, we must confess.
We must be above reproach in our conduct. We should not always think that
others are wrong and we are right. It is certainly wrong to ignore the
complaints of others and to instead insist that we are right.

IV. A FEW PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS

First, the scope of your confession should be as wide as the scope of your
offense. You should do everything according to God’s Word and should not
take the extreme way. Do not overdo anything. Once you overdo, you will
come under Satan’s attack. If you offend many people, you must confess to
many people. If you offend only one individual, you should confess only to
that individual. To confess to an individual when you have offended many
people is to under-confess. To confess to many people when you have
offended only one individual is to overdo. The scope of confession depends
on the scope of offense. The scope of testifying is another matter. Sometimes
you have offended one individual, but because you want to testify to the
brothers and sisters, you tell them about it. That is another matter altogether.
As far as apology and confession is concerned, it should only be according to
the scope of the offense. We should not go beyond that scope. We have to pay
particular attention to this point.

Second, our confession must be thorough. We must not hide anything to save
our “face” or our interest. There are, of course, times when we have to
exercise due care in the way we confess; we have to take care of the interest
and benefit of others. Perhaps we only should confess that we have offended
others in a general way without going into detail. If we have difficulties in
making decisions in complicated situations, it is best for us to fellowship with
some experienced brothers and sisters so that they can help us do the right
thing.
Third, there may be times when you are unable to make the necessary
recompense. However, the ability to recompense and the desire to
recompense are two different things. Some may not be able to recompense,
but at least they should have the desire to recompense. If one is unable to
make recompense immediately, he should tell the offended one, “I want to
recompense you, but I cannot do it today. Please bear with me; I will do it as
soon as possible.”

Fourth, the law in the Old Testament states that if the rightful recipient of
one’s recompense has passed away and has left no relatives to accept the
recompense, it should go to the priests who serve Jehovah (Num. 5:8).
According to this principle, if the recipient of your recompense is no longer
available, the recompense should go to his relatives. If he has no relatives,
you should give it to the church. If you can make recompense to someone,
you should give it to him or to his relatives. You cannot give it to the church
for the sake of convenience. However, if someone wants to make confession
but the offended party has passed away and there seems to be no opportunity
to confess, he can confess the matter to the church according to this
principle.

Fifth, after making confession you need to make sure that you are not
condemned in your conscience. It is possible for one’s conscience to suffer
repeated condemnation even after he has confessed. We must be clear that
the Lord’s blood has cleansed our conscience. His death has given us a
conscience that is void of offense before God and has enabled us to draw near
to God. All these are facts. However, we must see that in order to be clean
before man, we need to deal with many sins. We need to settle all offenses in
material things as well as in other matters. But we should not allow Satan to
condemn us excessively.

Sixth, confession is related to physical healing. James 5:16 says, “Therefore

confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be
healed.” The result of confession is often God’s healing. Sickness often comes
in when there are hindrances among God’s children. If we confess our sins
one to another, our sickness will be healed.

Hopefully, the brothers and sisters will be thorough in the matter of

confession and recompense. This is the way to maintain their purity. If
anyone has transgressed against man, he should confess his sins to God on
the one hand, and he must deal with the matter seriously with man on the
other hand. Only then will his conscience remain bold. When the conscience
is bold, a person can make considerable progress in his spiritual pursuit.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
FORGIVENESS AND RESTORATION
Scripture Reading: Matt. 18:21-35, 15-20; Luke 17:3-5
What should we do if a brother offends us? We all have to deal with this
question. What should we do when it is not we who have offended others but
others who have offended us? When we examine the above three portions of
the Lord’s Word, we find that we should not only forgive a brother who has
offended us but we should also restore him. Let us first consider the matter
of forgiveness.

I. FORGIVING ONE’S BROTHER

A. Being Required to Forgive
Matthew 18:21-22 says, “Then Peter came and said to Him, Lord, how often
shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus
said to him, I do not say to you, Up to seven times, but, Up to seventy times
seven.”

Luke 17:3-4 says, “Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him;
and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day
and turns again to you seven times, saying, I repent, you shall forgive him.”

The verses in Matthew say that we should forgive a brother seventy times
seven times, not just seven times. The verses in Luke say that we have to
forgive a brother who sins against us seven times a day, repents, and turns to
us seven times. Whether or not his repentance is genuine, we must forgive
him as long as he repents. Whether or not he is genuine is not our
responsibility. We have to forgive him.
Seven times is not too much, but seven times within one day is not that
infrequent. Suppose the same person does the same thing to you seven times
a day, and suppose he says that he has sinned against you seven times a day.
Would you still believe that his confession is genuine? I am afraid that you
would think that he was only confessing with his lips. This is why Luke 17:5
says, “The apostles said to the Lord, Increase our faith.” They felt that this
was a problem to them. It was unthinkable to them that a brother could
offend someone seven times in a day and then turn around to repent seven
times. They could not believe it, and they said, “Lord, increase our faith.” But
God’s children should forgive even if they are called upon to do so seven
times a day. When a brother sins against you, you should not hold it against
him.

B. God’s Measure
The Lord continues with a parable in Matthew 18:23-27: “For this reason the
kingdom of the heavens has become like a king who desired to settle accounts
with his slaves. And when he began to settle them, one who owed him ten
thousand talents was brought to him. But since he did not have the means to
repay, the master commanded him to be sold, as well as his wife and children
and all that he had, and repayment to be made. Then the slave fell down and
worshipped him, saying, Be patient with me and I will repay you all. And the
master of that slave was moved with compassion and released him and
forgave him the loan.”

The slave owed ten thousand talents, which was a very large amount of
money. He had no ability to repay because “he did not have the means to
repay.” We can never repay all that we owe God. It is far more than what men
owe us. Once a child of God arrives at a proper evaluation of his debt to God,
he will generously forgive what his brother owes him. When we forget the
immensity of the grace we have received from God, we become merciless
toward others. We need to see how much we owe God before we can see how
little others owe us.

The slave did not have the means to repay, and the master ordered him “to
be sold, as well as his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment
to be made.” Actually, even if he sold all that he had, he still could not have
repaid everything. “Then the slave fell down and worshipped him, saying, Be
patient with me and I will repay you all.”
It is difficult for man to understand clearly what grace is and what the gospel
is. Man often thinks that he may not be able to repay today, but that he will
be able to repay someday. He may not make it today, but he will make it
someday. In these verses, however, we see a slave who, even if he were to sell
all that he had, would not have had enough to repay. He said, “Be patient
with me and I will repay you all.” His intention was good. He was not trying
to avoid his debt. He was only asking the Lord for more time. He intended to
repay all. Such a thought can only come from those who have no knowledge
of grace.

“And the master of that slave was moved with compassion and released him
and forgave him the loan.” This is the gospel. The gospel is not God working
for you according to your idea. You may say, “Lord, be patient with me, and
I will repay You all,” but the Lord does not respond by saying, “Pay what you
have and repay the rest later.” The Lord forgave all of your debt. Man’s
prayers and requests do not even come close to the grace of the Lord. Our
Lord works for us and answers our prayer according to what He has. The
master of the slave released him and forgave the debt. This is God’s grace;
this is His measure. Anyone who asks for grace will receive grace from God,
even though his knowledge of grace is very limited. We should be clear about
this principle: The Lord loves to bestow grace on men. As long as we have a
little desire for grace, the Lord will pour it out on us. He is afraid that we will
not ask. As soon as a man hopes a little and opens his mouth to say, “Lord,
be gracious to me,” the Lord pours out His grace to him. Moreover, this grace
from the Lord is given to His own satisfaction. We may think that one dollar
is enough, but He will give ten million dollars, not just one dollar. He acts for
His own satisfaction. His acts are compatible with Himself. We would settle
for one dollar, but God cannot give anyone such a small sum. Either He does
not give at all, or He gives according to His own measure.

We need to realize that salvation is accomplished in man according to God’s

measure. Salvation is not carried out according to man’s thought. It is
accomplished in man according to God’s thought and plan.

The criminal on the cross pleaded with the Lord, saying, “Remember me
when You come into Your kingdom.” The Lord heard his prayer, yet He did
not answer him according to his prayer. Instead He said, “Today you shall be
with Me in Paradise” (Luke 23:42-43). Salvation is God saving man
according to His own will, not according to the sinner’s will. Salvation is not
according to the thoughts of a sinner’s limited mentality about God’s work
for him. Rather, salvation is God’s work upon sinners according to His own
thought. The Lord did not wait until He came into His kingdom to remember
the criminal. He promised the criminal that he would be with Him in
Paradise that very day.

The tax collector prayed in the temple and beat his breast, saying, “God, be
propitiated to me, the sinner!” At the most, he was asking God to be
propitiated to him. But God did not answer him according to his prayer. The
Lord Jesus said, “This man went down to his house justified rather than that
one” (Luke 18:9-14). In other words, that sinner went back justified. This was
much more than what was in the mind of the sinner. The sinner had no
thought of justification; he asked only for pity. But God said that he was
justified. This means that God did not consider him a sinner but a justified
person. Not only were his sins forgiven; he was justified by God. This shows
us that God does not accomplish His salvation according to man’s thought
but according to His own thought.

The same thing is seen in the return of the prodigal son (15:11-32). When he
was a long way off from home and before he met his father, he was prepared
to go back home to serve as a servant. But when he reached his home, his
father did not ask him to be a servant. Instead, he asked his slaves to bring
out the best robe and to put it on him. He put a ring on his hand and sandals
on his feet and slaughtered the fattened calf. They ate and were merry
because the son who was dead had come to life again; he was lost but had
been found. From these verses we see again that God does not accomplish
His salvation according to a sinner’s thought but according to His own
thought.

Mark 2 speaks of four men who took a paralytic to the Lord Jesus. When they
were unable to bring him to the Lord because of the crowd, they removed the
roof where the Lord was and lowered the bed on which the paralytic was
lying, hoping that the Lord Jesus would heal the paralytic and make him rise
and walk. But the Lord Jesus said, “Child, your sins are forgiven” (v. 5). The
Lord Jesus not only healed him but also forgave him of his sins. This also
tells us that God works to His own satisfaction. All we have to do is go to God
and ask. It does not matter whether we have asked enough. God always works
to His own satisfaction, not to the sinner’s satisfaction. Therefore, we should
not consider salvation from our point of view but from God’s point of view.

C. God’s Expectation
God expects to see one thing from us: Whoever wants to receive grace must
first learn to dispense grace. Whoever receives grace must first learn to share
grace. If a man receives grace, God expects him to share this grace with
others.

Matthew 18:28-29 says, “But that slave went out and found one of his fellow
slaves who owed him a hundred denarii, and he took hold of him and began
to choke him, saying, Repay me what you owe. Then his fellow slave fell down
and begged him, saying, Be patient with me and I will repay you.” Here the
Lord shows us that we owe Him ten thousand talents, while others only owe
us only a hundred denarii. When we say to the Lord, “Be patient with me and
I will repay you all,” He not only releases us but also forgives our debt. Our
fellow slave, our brother, owes us a hundred denarii at the most. When he
says, “Be patient with me and I will repay you,” he has our same hope and
request. How can we not be patient with him? But the slave “would not;
instead, he went away and threw him into prison until he would repay what
was owed” (v. 30).

The Lord spoke such a parable to expose the unreasonableness of those who
do not forgive others. If you do not forgive your brother, you are the very
slave spoken of in these verses. When we read this parable, we are indignant
at this slave. The master had forgiven his debt of ten thousand talents, but
he would not forgive his fellow slave’s debt of a hundred denarii. He put his
fellow slave into prison and kept him there until the latter would pay what
he owed. He acted according to his standard of “righteousness”! A believer
should treat himself according to righteousness but should treat others
according to grace. Your brother may owe you something, and the Lord
knows clearly that your brother owes you something. But He also clearly
shows us that if a believer does not forgive his brother, he is not dealing with
others according to grace. Such a one is short of grace in God’s eyes.

Verses 31-33 say, “His fellow slaves, seeing what had taken place, were
greatly grieved and came and explained fully to their master all that had
taken place. Then his master called him to him and said to him, Evil slave,
all that debt I forgave you, because you begged me. Should you not also have
had mercy on your fellow slave even as I had mercy on you?” The Lord
expects us to do to others as He has done to us. He has not made demands
on us according to righteousness. In the same way He expects us to not make
demands on others according to righteousness. The Lord has forgiven our
debts according to mercy, and He expects us to forgive others’ debts
according to mercy as well. With what measure the Lord measures to us, He
expects us to measure the same measure to others. The Lord dispenses grace
to us according to a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and
running over. He expects us to do the same thing to others according to a
good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. The Lord
expects us to do to our brother as He has done to us.

The ugliest thing in the eyes of God is for a forgiven person to refuse to forgive
others. Nothing is uglier than refusing to forgive when one has been forgiven
or refusing to be merciful when one has obtained mercy. A person should not
receive grace for himself on the one hand and refuse to share grace with
others on the other hand. A person must realize before the Lord that he
should treat others the same way that the Lord has treated him. It is very ugly
for a man to receive grace while refusing to share grace. Being forgiven yet
refusing to forgive others is a most uncomely sight. God condemns a debt-
ridden person’s attempt to demand payment from another debt-ridden
person. He has no pleasure in those who remember others’ shortcomings
when they themselves have come short.

The master asked the slave, “Should you not also have had mercy on your
fellow slave even as I had mercy on you?” God wants us to have mercy on
others as He has had mercy on us. We need to learn to have mercy on others
and to forgive them. A man who has experienced grace and who is forgiven
by God should learn to forgive others’ debts. He should learn to forgive
others, to have mercy on them, and to be gracious to them. We need to lift up
our eyes and say to the Lord, “Lord, You have forgiven my debt of ten
thousand talents. I am willing to forgive those who have offended me today.
I am also willing to forgive those who will offend me in the future. You have
forgiven me of my great sins. I also will learn to be like You in a small way by
forgiving others.”

D. God’s Discipline
Verse 34 continues, “His master became angry and delivered him to the
torturers until he would repay all that was owed.” This is a man who has come
under God’s discipline. God delivers him to the torturers until he should
repay all that he owes.
Verse 35 says, “So also shall My heavenly Father do to you if each of you does
not forgive his brother from your hearts.” This is a serious matter. We hope
that no one would fall into God’s hand. We must forgive our brother from the
heart, as God has forgiven us from His heart. We hope all the brothers and
sisters will learn to forgive all offenses. Do not try to remember the sins of
your brother. We should not ask our brother to repay us. God’s children
should be like God in this matter. Since God treats us generously, He expects
us to treat our brothers generously as well.

II. RESTORING THE BROTHER

It is not sufficient for us to just forgive our brother. This only takes care of
the negative side. We still need to restore him. This is the charge in Matthew
18:15-20.

A. Telling the Person

Matthew 18:15 says, “If your brother sins against you, go, reprove him
between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.”
Offenses occur all the time among God’s children. If a brother offends you,
what should you do? The Lord says, “Go, reprove him between you and him
alone.” If a brother offends you, the first thing you should do is not to tell
others. Do not tell the brothers and sisters or the elders of the church about
it or make it the subject of your conversation. This is not the Lord’s charge.
If a brother offends you, the first thing you should do is go to him and tell
him.

A problem often arises when a brother offends another brother and then the
offended brother goes around publicizing it. He continually talks about it
until the whole church knows about it. However, the brother who supposedly
offended him remains unaware of the offense. Such tale-telling is typical of
the conduct of a weak person; only a weak one would be so timid as to not
talk directly with the offending brother. He would only dare to speak about
the matter behind his back; he would dare not speak about it face-to-face. It
is an unclean thing for anyone to speak of matters behind others’ backs and
to spread gossip. We do have to deal with our brother’s fault, but the Lord
does not want us to tell others first. The first one who needs to be told is the
person who is directly involved, not others. If we learn this basic lesson well,
the church will be spared many problems.

How do we tell others? Should we write a letter to them? The Lord did not
tell us to do this. The Lord did not say that we should deal with it in writing,
but rather by going to our brother and speaking to him face-to-face.
However, just as it is wrong to speak about a matter behind someone’s back,
it is equally wrong to speak about it in front of many people. The matter
should be communicated “between you and him alone.” Many children of
God fail in this matter. They publicize things before many people. But the
Lord charges us to speak only when the involved parties are together. In
other words, individual sins should be dealt with by the individuals alone; no
third party should be involved at all.

We need to learn this lesson before God. We should never say anything
behind the back of the brother who has offended us, and we should not speak
to him in front of many people. We must point out his fault only when we are
alone together. We do not have to talk about other things or bring up other
problems; we simply need to point out the fault. This requires grace from
God. It is one lesson God’s children must learn.

Some brothers and sisters may think that this is too troublesome. While this
is, in fact, quite troublesome, you cannot be afraid of trouble if you want to
walk according to God’s Word. If you feel that your brother’s offense against
you is too small to be bothered with, you may feel no need to speak to him. If
this is the case, there is also no need to tell others about it. If you feel that a
matter is insignificant, simple, trivial, and unworthy of bringing to his
attention, you should not tell others about it either. You should not think that
he does not need to be informed but that others do need to be informed. If
you want to speak of it, speak to him alone. If there is no need to speak of it,
simply keep silent. It is wrong for others to know about something when the
offending brother is ignorant of it.

B. The Reason for Telling

The second half of verse 15 says, “If he hears you, you have gained your
brother.” This is the reason for telling. The reason for telling your brother is
not to receive any compensation. There is only one reason for telling: “If he
hears you, you have gained your brother.”

Therefore, the issue is not how much loss you have sustained. If your brother
has offended you, and the matter is not cleared up, he will not be able to get
through to God; there will be obstacles in his fellowship and prayer. This is
why you have to admonish him. It is not a matter of venting your hurt
feelings, but a matter of your responsibility. It is a very small matter if it is
simply a matter of hurt feelings. If it is just a matter of hurt feelings, if the
issue does not pose a problem to you, and if you think you can get over it, you
do not need to speak to your brother or anyone else. No one knows better
than you do how serious the matter is to you. The responsibility of making
the decision to go or not to go rests with you. Such responsibility rests with
the party who is clearest about the matter. There are many things that can be
let go of, but there are also many things that must be dealt with. If some
offenses will indeed stumble your brother, you must point out his fault to
him while he and you are alone together. Anything that should be dealt with
must be dealt with carefully. You may let the matter go easily, but the other
party may not be able to get through like you. He has committed an offense
before God, and God has not yet forgiven him. If a brother has committed a
mistake that will jeopardize his relationship with God, this is not a small
matter, and you should go and clearly tell him about it. You must find an
opportunity while he and you are alone together and say, “Brother, it was not
right for you to offend me in such a way. Your offense will ruin your future
before God. You will create obstacles and bring loss to yourself before God.”
If he listens to you, “You have gained your brother.” In this way you restore
your brother.

Today many of God’s children do not obey the teaching of this portion of the
Word. Some people always speak of others’ wrongdoings, continually
publicizing them. Some do not tell others, yet they never forgive and always
harbor grudges in their hearts. Some forgive but do not try to restore. But
this is not what the Lord wants us to do. It is wrong to speak of others’ faults;
it is wrong to keep silent yet be unforgiving in the heart; and it is equally
wrong to forgive but not to exhort.

The Lord did not say that it is good enough for us to forgive the brother who
has offended us. The Lord also showed us that the offended one has the
responsibility to restore the offending one. Since it is not a small thing to
offend someone, we have the responsibility to tell the one who has offended
us for his sake. We must think of some way to restore our brother and gain
him back. When we speak to him, we must be proper in our attitude and pure
in our intention. Our purpose is to restore our brother. If our intention is to
gain him, we will know how to point out his fault. If our intention is not to
restore him, it will only worsen the relationship. The purpose of exhortation
is not to ask for recompense or to justify our own feelings; it is for the purpose
of restoring our brother.

C. The Proper Attitude in Telling Others

If our intention is pure, we will know how to do this step by step. First, we
must have the right spirit. Next, the words we speak, the way we speak them,
including our attitude, countenance, voice, and tone, must all be right. Our
purpose is to gain him, not just to inform him of his fault.

If we are simply trying to rebuke him, our rebuking may be right, and the
strong words we use may be justified, but our attitude, tone, and
countenance may never achieve the goal of gaining him.

It is easy for us to say good things about a brother; it is easy to praise a

person. It is also very easy to lose our temper with a person. We only need to
let go of our emotions and we will lose our temper. But pointing out a
person’s fault and, at the same time, restoring and gaining him is something
that can be done only by those who are full of grace. One must forget about
himself completely before he can be humble, meek, free from pride, and
willing to help those who are at fault. In the first place one must be right
himself.

You should realize that the Lord allows a brother to offend you because He
has shown favor to you and has chosen you. He has put a great responsibility
upon you. You are His chosen vessel, and God is using you to restore your
brother.

If a brother offends you in a small matter and you forgive him, the matter is
settled; there is no need to do anything further. But if a brother offends you
to such an extent that it becomes an issue, you cannot close your eyes and
say that there is no problem. The problem is there, and you cannot ignore it.
If the problem is not solved, it becomes a burden to the church. The church
is often weakened because of these burdens. The life of the Body is drained
through these burdens, and the work of the ministers is wasted through these
burdens. Before God we need to learn to deal with every problem when it
arises. If a person offends us, we should not close our eyes and try to ignore
it. We must deal with it properly. However, our spirit, attitude, word,
countenance, and tone must all be proper. This is the only way to gain our
brother.
 D. Telling Others
Verse 16 says, “But if he does not hear you, take with you one or two more,
that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.”
If you go to him by yourself and speak to him with a proper motive, a good
attitude, and gentle words, and he still does not hear you, then go and tell
others about it. However, you must tell someone else only after he has
rejected your words. You must not tell others loosely.

If a problem arises between two of God’s children and if both of them go to

the Lord and deal with it, everything will be solved easily. But suppose one is
not careful with his words and the problem spreads to the ear of a third
person. The problem will be compounded, and it will be hard to solve. If there
is no contamination of a wound, the healing process is relatively simple. If
dirt gets into a wound, not only does the level of pain increase, but the dirt
makes it harder for the wound to heal. Unnecessarily spreading a problem to
a third person is like adding dirt to a wound. Any problems between the
brothers and sisters should be dealt with directly by the involved persons.
The only time we should tell another person or persons is when one party
will not receive the admonition. The purpose of telling others is not to
multiply the gossip but to invite others to exhort, help, and fellowship
together.

The “one or two more” here should be experienced persons in the Lord; they
should be those who are weighty in their spiritual measure. You should
present the case before them and ask for their opinions. They should check
whether the fault lies with the offending one. The mature ones should pray
and consider the matter before the Lord and then arbitrate according to their
spiritual discernment. If they feel that the fault lies with the offending
brother, they should go to that brother and say, “You are wrong in this
matter. By doing this you have cut yourself off from the Lord. You must
repent and confess.”

“That by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.”
The “one or two more” must not have a loose tongue. Do not invite talkative
persons to such a meeting. Talkative ones can never convince people;
instead, invite those who are trustworthy, honest, spiritual, and experienced
before the Lord. In this way every word will be established by the mouth of
two or three witnesses.
 E. Finally Telling the Church
Verse 17 says, “If he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church.” If we cannot
deal with the problem by ourselves, we should bring one or two with us to
deal with it. If the other person still refuses to hear them, we have to tell it to
the church. Telling the church does not mean that we publicize the matter
when the whole church is gathered together. It means telling the responsible
elders in the church. If the conscience of the church also feels that this
brother is wrong, he must be wrong. If the offending brother is one who walks
before God, he should lay aside his own view and accept the witness of two
or three. If he does not accept the witness of two or three, he should at least
accept the verdict of the church. The unanimous view and judgment of the
church reflect the heart of the Lord. The brother should realize that it is
wrong to ignore the church. He should be meek and not trust in his own
feelings or his own judgment. Rather, he should accept the feeling of the
church.

What if he still refuses to hear? Verse 17 continues, “If he refuses to hear the
church also, let him be to you just like the Gentile and the tax collector.” This
is a serious word. In other words, if he refuses to hear the church, all the
brothers and sisters in the church should no longer communicate with him.
Since he does not want to face his problem, the church should consider him
as a Gentile and a tax collector and should have no fellowship with him.
Though he is not excommunicated, all the brothers should consider him as a
Gentile and tax collector, and no one should pay any attention to him. If he
speaks, no one should listen. If he comes to break bread, everyone should
ignore him. If he prays, no one should say “amen.” If he wants to come, he
can come. If he wants to go, he can go. But everyone should consider him as
an outsider. If God’s children will hold such an attitude in one accord, it will
be easy to restore a brother. The purpose for dealing with him in this way is
still to restore him.

Verse 18, which says, “Truly I say to you, Whatever you bind on the earth
shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on the earth shall
have been loosed in heaven,” is related to the previous verses. The Lord in
heaven acknowledges what the church does on earth. If the church considers
a person who refuses to hear the church as being wrong, the church will look
upon him as a Gentile and a tax collector, and our Lord in heaven will
acknowledge the same thing.
Verses 19 and 20 are also based on the preceding portion. “Again, truly I say
to you that if two of you are in harmony on earth concerning any matter for
which they ask, it will be done for them from My Father who is in the
heavens. For where there are two or three gathered into My name, there am
I in their midst.” Why does the previous verse say “that by the mouth of two
or three witnesses every word may be established”? Here we see that the
principle of two or three is the principle of the church. If two or three act
upon a matter in one accord, and if these two or three deliberate something
before God in one accord, God will acknowledge the decision. Matthew
18:18-20 is spoken in the context of our dealing with the brothers. When a
matter is brought up to two or three people and then to the whole church, the
Father in heaven will acknowledge such a decision.

Here we want to mention something in passing. How does the church make
important decisions? Acts 15 shows us that when brothers come together,
everyone can speak and debate. Even those who are for the law can stand up
and speak their mind, even though their opinion is altogether wrong. In other
words, all the brothers have equal opportunity to speak. But not all the
brothers can arbitrate matters. All the brothers can express how they feel
before the Lord. After the elders have listened to all of them, they should
speak their feelings before God and make a final judgment on the matter.
The responsible brothers may have the same feeling before the Lord. This
feeling is the feeling of the church; it is also the conscience of the church.
After they have spoken, everyone should submit and go along with them in
one accord. This is the way of the church. The church does not muzzle
people’s mouths or forbid anyone to speak. But no one should speak
carelessly. When the time comes for a decision, the elders should speak
under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and all the brothers and sisters should
listen to the elders. If the Holy Spirit’s authority is present in the church, such
matters can be resolved easily. If the Holy Spirit has no authority in the
church and there are many opinions of the flesh, the church will not be able
to arbitrate anything at all. We must learn to submit to the authority of the
Holy Spirit and to listen to the church.

May God be gracious to us. May we be like our Master who is so full of grace.
If a brother offends us, we should forgive him from the heart. Moreover, we
should bear the responsibility of restoring him according to the Lord’s Word.
May the Lord lead us to live such a life in the church.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
 BELIEVERS’ REACTIONS
Scripture Reading: Matt. 5:38-48
More than half of our life is spent in reactions. When we feel happy about
what others are saying, we are reacting. When we feel angry about what
others are saying, we are reacting as well. Whether we feel good or bad about
a certain thing, we are reacting. We react when we are agitated, and we react
when we resent mistreatment. When others accuse us unjustly, we try to
defend ourselves. This is one reaction. When others persecute us, we try to
endure it. This is another reaction. When we analyze human living carefully,
we find that we live in our reactions more than half the time.

I. CHRISTIAN REACTIONS
BEING DIFFERENT FROM THOSE OF UNBELIEVERS
As Christians we also react. However, believers have one kind of reaction,
while unbelievers have another kind of reaction. We can know a person by
the way he reacts. No Christian should ever react as a unbeliever, and no
unbeliever can react as a Christian. If you want to know a person, just observe
the way he reacts.

Believers should have their own way of reacting. The Lord has commanded
us to react according to specific ways. The Lord does not want us to react in
any way we want. The Christian life is made up of a series of reactions. You
are a good Christian if you react properly, and you are a poor Christian if you
react improperly.

We have believed in the Lord and we are now Christians. When we encounter
events, trials, persecution, opposition, or are challenged by any situation, we
should know the Lord’s commandment concerning how to react. A Christian
should be disciplined by God not only in his walk but also in his reactions.
All our reactions should be strictly directed by the Lord and governed by His
discipline. We should react only as God has directed us. This is the kind of
life that the Lord has given us.

II. THE LORD’S TEACHING ON THE MOUNT

Let us read Matthew 5:38-48. This section of the Word deals with reactions.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth’”
(v. 38). “An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth” means that if anyone hurts
my eye, I will also hurt his eye. If anyone breaks my tooth, I will also break
his tooth. I will do to others as they have done to me. This is one kind of
reaction. Men in the Old Testament age reacted this way under the law.

However, the Lord said, “But I tell you not to resist him who is evil” (v. 39).
The Lord said that our reaction should be different. We should be different
in the way we react. We should not resist those who are evil. Then the Lord
spoke of three more things. These three things have become the most famous
words in the Bible. Many people are familiar with these words. “Whoever
slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. And to him who
wishes to sue you and take your tunic, yield to him your cloak also; and
whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two” (vv. 39-41). Do you
realize that the left cheek, the cloak, and the second mile are all Christian
reactions? The right cheek, the tunic, and the first mile are man’s demand.
Man’s demand is the right cheek, but our reaction is to give the left cheek as
well. Man’s demand is the tunic, but our reaction is an additional cloak.
Man’s demand is one mile, but the Christian reaction is two miles. The whole
of Matthew 5 reminds us of one thing—our reactions have to be different.
The Christian life is expressed through a totally different set of reactions.

I would like to show you what Christian reactions are. It is wrong to go on

living as a Christian for eight to ten years without knowing what Christian
reactions are. A person should know what reactions are demanded by the
Lord from the first days of his Christian life. We can never be proper
Christians if our reactions are not proper. If our reactions are not proper, we
are not acting according to God’s nature or life within us, and we are not
meeting God’s standard. We must react in a Christian way in our living. It is
wrong for us to claim to be Christians yet react the same as worldly people.

“To him who asks of you, give; and from him who wants to borrow from you,
do not turn away” (v. 42). These are reactions. When others ask of you, you
should give to them. When others want to borrow from you, you should not
reject them. You cannot refuse anyone unless you do not have the means
yourself.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your
enemy’” (v. 43). This is how men under the law react. If one is a neighbor,
they react with love. If one is an enemy, they react with hate.

“But I say to you, Love your enemies” (v. 44). The Christian reaction is
different. Even if a person is your enemy, you still need to love him. “And
pray for those who persecute you.” They may persecute you, but your
reaction must be to pray for them.

“So that you may become sons of your Father who is in the heavens, because
He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just
and the unjust” (v. 45). This is God’s reaction. God sends rain on the just as
well as on the unjust. The sun shines on the good ones and on the evil ones.
God does not react in an evil way toward men.

Following this it says, “For if you love those who love you, what reward do
you have?” (v. 46). If others love you, your natural reaction is to love them.
But what reward do you receive? “Do not even the tax collectors do the
same?” If this is all that a Christian can do, he is the same as the tax
collectors. Such a reaction is too cheap and easy.

“If you greet only your brothers, what better thing are you doing?” (v. 47). If
someone is your brother, you greet him. If he is not your brother, you do not
greet him. Or you may greet a person when you have nothing against him but
turn away from him when there is something against him. If you do this, how
are you different from the Gentiles? Such conduct is too low.

“You therefore shall be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (v. 48).
This means that we should react as God reacts.

III. IT BEING IMPERATIVE

TO DEAL WITH OUR REACTIONS
The above portions of the Word all speak of one thing— Christian reactions.
Once we settle the matter of reactions, we have dealt with at least half the
problems of our Christian life. We react when others behave in a certain way.
We react when others say certain things. We adopt a certain attitude when
others adopt certain attitudes. We are filled with reactions. This is why I say
that more than half of our Christian life is occupied with reactions. If more
than half our life is occupied with reactions and if our reactions are Christian-
like, we can expect God to be pleased with us. But if our reactions are
improper, we can never expect to be proper Christians.

Perhaps some may wonder why we need to emphasize this matter. Let me be
quite frank with you. Do not think that we are touching something that is
unimportant. I have had this deep sense within me for the last twenty or
more years. Many people have been Christians for eight, ten, even twenty
years. They have read the sermon on the mount dozens of times. Yet they still
do not know how the Lord wants them to react. They have been Christians
for years, yet they are still fundamentally wrong in their reactions. They
argue about everything, and they talk about the law, about their rights, and
about what others should or should not do. They have not seen what
Christian reactions are.

Such ones have righteous reactions, legal reactions, Gentile reactions, and
tax collector reactions. But they certainly do not have Christian reactions.
They say, “Am I not right?” They feel that they have all the reasons on their
side. But they have forgotten that a Christian’s reaction should not be based
on reason. They are totally unfamiliar with what Christian reactions should
be. This is a big problem. Because they do not know how a Christian should
react, they also do not know how other people should react. When a brother
is silent about an unjust thing, these ones may think that he is admitting his
guilt. Recently, I heard someone say, “So-and-so was silenced by the rebukes
of others.” He thought that speaking up was right and keeping silent was
wrong. But this person does not know the meaning of the cross. He does not
know what the Christian life is. In fact, he does not know what a Christian is.

A newly saved brother should know the Christian way to react from the very
beginning. Once he becomes clear about this, he will know how he should
live before God. Christians have their own kind of reactions. If you are not
reacting in this way, you are just like a tax collector and a Gentile. Let me
repeat that half of our human life involves reactions. We act a certain way
because others act a certain way. We feel a certain way because others feel a
certain way. We are reacting every day. If our reactions are wrong, I am afraid
that our daily walk will amount to very little before God. This is why we need
to deal with reactions.

IV. THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF REACTIONS

Now let us consider the principles of reactions from this portion of Matthew.
Man’s reactions to ordinary matters can be classified according to three
levels. The first is on the level of reasoning. The second is on the level of good
behavior. The third has to do with God’s holy life. If you are on the level of
reasoning, your reaction will be temper and wrath. If you are on the level of
good behavior, your reaction will be to endure. But if you are on the level of
God’s holy life, you will transcend everything. These are the three possible
reactions.

If someone strikes your right cheek today and you are full of reasonings, you
may say, “How could he have done that? Why did he hit me?” When others
strike your cheek, you may fly into a rage and reason about it. This means
that you are on the level of reasoning. Perhaps you have the knowledge that
Christians should have proper behavior and that temper is wrong. When
others ask for your tunic, you may endure silently and allow them to take it
away. This kind of reaction is much better than losing one’s temper. But the
Lord tells us that there is another kind of reaction; it is the kind that He
requires.

When others strike our cheek, the Lord does not want us to react with wrath.
Neither does He want us to endure passively when others take our tunic. The
Lord tells us to turn our left cheek when others strike our right cheek and to
give others our cloak when they want our tunic. When others want us to walk
one mile, we should walk two. This is not endurance but transcendence. This
kind of reaction goes beyond man’s demand. Man demands only so much,
but we can do more before the Lord than just meet man’s demand. We can
exceed man’s demand, not just meet it.

Brothers and sisters, the Lord tells us that Christians should have only one
kind of reaction. We should react by transcending, not reasoning or
enduring. Please remember that those who do not transcend are not acting
like Christians. The Lord does not tell us to return an eye for an eye, to hurt
the other person’s eye when they hurt our eye. Neither does He say that we
should passively endure when others hurt our eye. He says that we should
add an eye to an eye. In other words, when one strikes my eye, I should let
him strike my other eye.

Please remember that turning from an eye for an eye to an eye plus an eye
involves at least two steps forward. Turning from a cheek for a cheek to a
cheek plus a cheek, from a tunic for a tunic to a tunic plus a cloak, and from
a mile for a mile to a mile plus a mile involves at least two steps forward. An
eye for an eye is a reaction. Anger is a reaction. Endurance is a reaction. An
eye plus an eye is another kind of reaction. Of these reactions, all but the last
should be rejected.
 V. A CHRISTIAN BEING DELIVERED
FROM HUMILIATION, POSSESSIONS, AND THE WILL
Let me briefly go over these three things again. Striking the cheek has to do
with humiliation. The Chinese understand this; so did the Jews and the
Romans at that time. There are many records which show that many of the
Roman slaves would rather have been killed by their masters than struck on
the cheek. Killing was bearable, but striking the cheek was unbearable.
Hence, striking the cheek signifies extreme humiliation; it signifies the
greatest shame at that time.

Tunics and cloaks are what man rightfully owns. Among man’s possessions,
there is hardly anything more rightfully his than his clothes. Even the poorest
person wears a tunic and a cloak. No matter how insistent a man is in
rejecting material enjoyment, he still has to wear a tunic and a cloak. This is
a very legitimate demand. Here is a person who is not asking for your
property or your farm but your tunic. Moreover, if he wants to take your
tunic, you must take off your cloak first. Therefore, this matter touches one’s
possessions in the deepest way. If striking the cheek has to do with
humiliation, taking away the tunic has to do with one’s most essential
possessions.

Compelling others to walk is particularly related to the will. I may not intend
to take a certain way or go to a certain place, but others compel me to do so.
This means I must deny myself to take their way. This is to bend the will.

I would like my brothers and sisters to see that Christian reactions have to
do with the left cheek, the cloak, and the second mile. When others strike my
right cheek, I turn my left cheek to them as well. When others want my tunic,
I give my cloak as well. When others compel me to walk one mile, I walk two
miles. This means that the right cheek has not touched me, the tunic has not
touched me, and the one-mile journey has not touched me. This is why I call
this a transcendent reaction. If my right cheek is struck and I have some
feeling about it, I will not turn my left cheek. If after walking for one mile I
have reached my limit, I cannot walk the second mile. The issue is the kind
of reaction we have under such circumstances.

Christians are those who have been delivered from any feeling of glory and
humiliation. They are those who have been delivered from the bondage of
material possessions and their own will. When we are delivered from
humiliation, possessions, and the will, these things will never touch us again.
 VI. THE PRIMARY LESSON OF THE CROSS
BEING TO STOP ALL REASONINGS
We must learn never to reason before God. The first lesson of the cross is to
not reason. No one among us should be so low or so fallen as to become a
revenger. Hence, there is no need to talk about the option of taking an eye
for an eye or a tooth for a tooth. However, I am afraid that many people
reason and insist on their rights, saying, “You should not have struck me.”
Whenever a person reasons with others, it means that he is touched by the
things that happen to him. The Lord shows us that the proper response to
unreasonable evil is unreasonable good. Others can be unreasonably evil to
us, but we return unreasonable good to them. The first mile is unreasonable
enough, but the second mile is even more unreasonable. Actually, both are
unreasonable. Striking the right cheek is unreasonable, but so is turning the
left cheek. Taking away one’s tunic is absolutely unreasonable, but so is
giving away the cloak. Christians are those who do not reason. They return
unreasonable goodness for unreasonable evil.

You should not be trapped in your own reasoning. You should not say
whether something is reasonable or unreasonable. You may say that the first
mile is unreasonable. But I say that the second mile is even more
unreasonable. If the first mile is unreasonable, the second mile is even more
unreasonable. If you cannot take the first mile, how can you take the second
mile? But thank God! His children do not react by reasoning. None of God’s
children should lose their temper. They are not in the realm of arguing
between right and wrong. Reasoning is something outside of a believer’s
realm. If you fall into reasoning, you have already lost your Christian
standing; you are no longer standing on Christian ground.

VII. CHRISTIANS NOT BEING THOSE

WHO DO RIGHT OR GOOD THINGS,
BUT THOSE WHO ARE TRANSCENDENT
May we all see something here. If someone wants my tunic, it is perfectly all
right if I do not give it to him. It is good if I give it to him. But it is Christian
if I give him my cloak as well. I think this is clear. When someone wants my
tunic, why should I give it to him? I am right even if I do not give it to him. If
I give it to him, that is good. I am a good man; therefore, I give it to him.
However, doing the right thing is not being Christian. Being a good man does
not mean that one is therefore a Christian. A Christian gives away not merely
the tunic but also the cloak. A Christian is a person who gives away the
second garment.

What is the Christian reaction? The Christian reaction is not doing the right
things or the good things, but doing the transcendent things. The more God’s
children are persecuted, cornered, and shut out, the higher they should
climb. It is a pity that some stumble when they are cornered. It is unfortunate
that they lose their temper and reason. It is especially unfortunate that they
try to endure. A Christian is one who soars when persecution comes, when
all escapes have been blocked and there is only a wall before him.

I remember a comment made about a brother who passed away many years
ago: “Anyone who never made himself an enemy of this man does not know
how great the love of this man was.” This is a wonderful comment. The more
you persecuted him, the stronger he became. The more you mistreated him,
the higher he climbed. The more you were fierce towards him, the more
generous he was towards you. When he died, many brothers commented, “In
order to know the strength of his love, one needed to be his greatest enemy.
We did not do him enough evil. The more evil you did to him, the greater was
his love for you.” This is the Christian reaction. The more you persecute a
Christian and shut him up, the broader is the way before him.

Do not think that this is a very profound lesson. Matthew 5—7 contains the
first sermon of the Lord Jesus. The teachings on the mountain were the first
teachings the disciples heard. That is why this should be told to new
believers. We should practice this from the very beginning. As long as we are
Christians, we have to practice this. If we do not practice this, we will not
have peace within. A Christian who reasons with people will not have peace.
We may be upset and fretful when others take away our things, but we will
have no peace. However, when others want our tunic and we give them our
cloak also, we will shout “hallelujah” all the way home. We will feel happy.
When others want to borrow some of our money, we may spare our money if
we turn them down, but we will also spare our joy. If others ask us for money,
we should give it to them. This is the way to live a happy Christian life.

Many Christians have sad faces all day long because they are not willing to
walk the second mile. If you walk the second mile, you will be able to sing
within your being.

VIII. PROBLEMS WITH BELIEVERS’ REACTIONS

Many brothers and sisters have problems with their reactions because they
do not know the Lord. They cannot bear turning the left cheek, giving away
the cloak, or walking the second mile. They keep saying, “How unreasonable
are these people!” I have a frank word for these ones: This is what the Lord
demands of us. A person may strike your right cheek and be satisfied. But the
Lord tells you to turn your left cheek to him as well. Another may receive
your tunic and be satisfied. But the Lord tells you to give him your cloak as
well. Someone may compel you to walk only one mile and be satisfied. But
the Lord compels you to walk the second mile. We have to realize that the left
cheek, the cloak, and second mile are the Lord’s demand, not man’s demand.
All those who have trouble with the second cheek, the second garment, and
the second mile do not have any trouble with men, but with the Lord, for it
is He who makes these demands.

You may say that man is unreasonable. But remember, it is actually the Lord
who is unreasonable. If no one should strike your first cheek, then even more
no one should strike your second cheek. If the demand for the first garment
is unreasonable, the demand for the second garment is even more
unreasonable. If the first mile is unreasonable, the second mile is even more
unreasonable. But the Lord demands the second. This is the Lord’s
commandment. We can say that the Lord’s commandment is more severe
than that of an unreasonable man. No unreasonable man can be stricter than
the Lord in His commandment.

Why is the Lord so severe? Because He knows that the life He has given us is
a transcendent life. Unless this life transcends, there is no peace. This life is
happy only when it transcends. The more you try to embarrass, disgrace, or
hurt this life, the more its power is manifested.

This is what it means to be a Christian. It is not merely a matter of not being

angry and of forbearing and enduring, but of transcending all things. Others
may compel us to walk a mile, but we will walk two miles. Others may want
to take one of our garments, but we will give them two. Others may want to
strike our right cheek, but we will give them our left cheek also. Brothers, this
life is transcendent; it soars. This is how believers react. Unless we act this
way, we are not behaving like Christians.

IX. GRACE IN GOD’S CHILDREN

Some who are ignorant of the Bible think that the teachings on the mountain
in Matthew 5—7 have to do with the law. Is this law? No! This is grace. The
law is an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. What is grace? Grace is to give
to others what they do not deserve. In fact, the first cheek, the first garment,
and the first mile are grace. All these are what others do not deserve. But
because the life in us transcends all things, none of these things can touch us.
This is why we allow others to strike our right cheek and then turn the left
cheek to them. This is why we can give to others not just the tunic, but the
cloak as well. This is why we can walk not just one mile, but two. This is grace
upon grace. But this is not God’s grace; this is the grace of God’s children.
This is what God’s children do when they act according to the God of grace.
God gives men what they do not deserve. We also can give men what they do
not deserve, even more than what they do not deserve.

X. BEING ENLARGED THROUGH OUR REACTIONS

Why do we have to do this? Let me tell you: The teaching on the mountain
was given to enlarge our capacity. God increases our measure through our
reactions. Many things are too dear to us. As soon as we live out the teaching
on the mountain, God strips these things from us. The tunic and the cloak
are taken away again and again. But this enlarges us again and again. We will
be enlarged many times more than our capacity for the cloak or the tunic.

Many Christians are the same size as the garments they wear; they are very
small. They can be affected by one little garment. One garment alone is worth
their wrath and the sacrifice of their Christian propriety. Everywhere we go,
we find these “small” people.

Christians can be large. But, even more, they can be enlarged, because God
has given them a large life. If you can let go of one garment, you can let go of
one hundred garments. If you can yield to someone’s demand for one mile,
you can yield to his demand for two miles. If you do this, you will be enlarged
by God.

It is a big thing to save one’s face. Many people cannot bear humiliation and
disgrace. They can give away all their garments, but they cannot be struck or
disgraced. It is hard for them to take insulting words from others. But here
is one who is struck in the face. He not only endures but also takes it willingly,
gladly, and happily. As soon as we turn our left cheek to others, we are
enlarged. We are enlarged through all of our unreasonable experiences.
Suppose you have a strong will. If you are oppressed and persecuted and you
accept oppression and persecution willingly, even walking the second mile,
you will be enlarged as time goes on.

In the past years, I have met many “small” people in this world. I have not
met too many “big” people in the church either. I hope that the new believers
will take this way from the very beginning. Take God’s life and react in a
transcendent way. This is the basic condition for maturity. If you continually
react according to God’s transcendent life, you will be enlarged more and
more. No material thing will bind you. No despising or disgrace will limit
you. Even your own strong will will not hold you down. You will grow
continuously. If we do not practice this, the church will be filled with “small”
people.

XI. CHRISTIAN VICTORY

BEING A TRANSCENDENT VICTORY
I am not saying that walking the second mile is enough. Walking the second
mile is a principle. That principle involves being transcendent. The left cheek
is also a principle that involves being transcendent.

What does it mean to be transcendent? To transcend means to be on top.

Suppose someone strikes your right cheek. If you try to remember Matthew
5 and say, “I am determined to let him strike. If he wants my tunic, I will give
him my tunic reluctantly. If he forces me to walk one mile, I will force myself
to accompany him two miles.” This kind of behavior is useless. This is not
transcending. You have not climbed high enough. Who can give their other
cheek? It is those who, when insulted, realize that they have received a rich
life from the Lord. This is why they can turn their left cheek to others when
they are struck on the right cheek. Others may force them to walk a mile. But
the life they have received from the Lord is so abundant that they can go a
second mile. Christians are never reluctant people, and the Christian
reaction never just meets the minimum requirement.

A sister once said, “I almost lost my temper!” She sounded very victorious
when she said this. But this is not a Christian reaction. A Christian reaction
does much more than what is needed; it stands the challenges well. This is
the meaning of the second mile. Have you seen this? Some people are
extremely unkind to you; that is the “right cheek.” If you can return kindness
to them and still be victorious before God, that is the “left cheek.” The “left
cheek” speaks of abundance. It denotes surplus. The Christian victory is not
a meager victory. The Christian victory is an overflowing victory. Christians
should always have a surplus; they should always transcend their experience.
Christian victory never comes by force; it is never achieved by gritting one’s
teeth or arguing. Christian victory is always easy to come by. May the Lord
enlarge us again and again, and may we express the grace of God’s children
again and again.

XII. OUR REACTION BEING

FOR THE INCREASE OF THE LORD’S WORK
Why do we have to turn our left cheek when others strike our right cheek?
When the Lord grants us sufferings through man’s hand, we should rather
enhance His work than annul His work. This is why we turn our left cheek.
The Lord is using man’s hand to enlarge our capacity and to help us grow.
The hand stops at the right cheek. But we can add our left cheek. This means
that we do not react by frustrating the Lord’s work through man’s hand. On
the contrary, we further this work. The Lord is striking us, and we also strike
ourselves. The Lord is dealing with us, and we also deal with ourselves. When
others strike our right cheek, we join in to strike ourselves. We do not stand
with ourselves to oppose our attacker. On the contrary, we stand with our
attacker. One strike is not enough; we need more striking. The Lord is
dealing with us, and we are also dealing with ourselves.

The Lord’s hand is on me, and my prayer is for His hand to remain there. If
I lose everything, I have nothing more to lose. If I die completely, I cannot
die any further. If I can still die, it means I have not died enough. If I can still
lose, it means I have not lost enough. I want the Lord’s hand to be heavier on
me. I do not want to reduce the weight of His hand upon me.

If you can stand on the Lord’s side and deal with yourself this way, you will
have no grudge against anyone. Man’s demand can never be higher than the
Lord’s. Man’s demand is, at most, one mile. The Lord’s demand is the second
mile. The most that man can do is force you to go a mile. But you can give
him more; you can add something to it. You can do your best to enhance what
the Lord has already done.

XIII. STANDING FAST ON OUR CHRISTIAN STANDING

Let me ask you another question: Is it better to be the one who strikes or the
one who is struck? Do you envy others? Others are striking. Are you going to
do the same? Those who strike are not acting like Christians, and those who
endure others’ striking are not acting like Christians either. Only those who
take the striking willingly and who turn their left cheek to their strikers,
saying, “Please do more,” are acting like Christians.

Today if a brother strikes you, do you know what he has given you? He has
given you the greatest opportunity to be a good Christian. He honors you by
striking you, having offered you the opportunity to be a proper Christian.

Please remember that a Christian who strikes others has lost his Christian
dignity. We should not envy those who have lost their Christian standing.
Every time you are mistreated or are threatened, you are given the
opportunity to live the Christian life. In fact, those who treat you this way are
saying, “So-and-so, I no longer want to be a Christian. I will let you be a
Christian in my place!” Their actions are equivalent to this.

If a brother takes you to court or demands money or clothing from you, he

is, in effect, saying, “Today I do not want to be a Christian. I will let you be
one in my place!” He has resigned from the position of a Christian and put
you in his position instead. Should you not thank God for this? You need to
say, “O God! I thank You and praise You. You have put me in the position of
a Christian. This is truly Your grace.” Brothers and sisters, we should learn
to strive for our Christian standing.

Once, I had some business dealings with a brother. By common

understanding, I did not owe him any money, but he demanded perhaps
sixty-eight thousand dollars from me. My first reaction was to be angry. I felt
that he did not have the slightest ground to ask for it. How could this man be
a Christian? He was too much. If he had any sense of righteousness, how
could he want this money? But my next reaction was that of joy. Although he
was wrong, I still enjoyed giving it to him. I asked him, “Brother, do you really
want it?” He said, “Yes.” At that moment, the Lord put this word in me: “This
man is giving you the opportunity to be a Christian.” This was the first time
the Lord spoke such a word to me. I said, “That is right,” and went away to
prepare the money for him.

From that day on, I learned this lesson. When a person behaves the way this
man did, he is giving up his position as a Christian. When a person does this
to us, what a shame and pity it is if we also resign from our Christian
standing. We should learn to say, “The Lord has put me here, and He is giving
me the opportunity to live as a Christian.” We should say, “Lord, I want to be
a Christian.” No loss is greater than the loss of our Christian standing. To be
struck is a great loss; to lose our possessions is also a great loss; and to be put
to shame and deprived of freedom are even greater losses, but the Lord has
entrusted us with the responsibility of expressing His grace and forbearance.
If we fail in this, we have suffered the greatest loss.

Some may think that the strong ones are those who can strike others. But I
say that the ones who are really strong are those who can afford to be struck
and not strike back. A person who cannot control his own temper is a weak
person. A strong person is one who can control his own temper. We need to
know how to evaluate things spiritually before God. We should not evaluate
things according to the worldly way. We should not hold to worldly views.
We need to have a spiritual view.

I hope that new believers will see what our Christian reactions should be
from the very beginning. We should set this course right from the start. Do
not allow three, five, eight, or ten years to go by before taking this way. Do
not think that the teaching on the mount is that profound. No Christian
should wait a long time before picking up the teaching on the mount. The
teaching on the mount should be the first teaching. It should be something
one finds at the main entrance, not something he sees after years of
advancement. The teaching on the mount is the fundamental Christian
response to everything. It is the reaction that issues from our Christian
nature. When a person believes in the Lord Jesus, he spontaneously reacts
this way and behaves this way. Walking the second mile results in joy in the
heart. A person cannot have real peace and joy until he practices this. This
life calls for persecution, disgrace, and mistreatment. The more severe the
persecution, the stronger the manifestation of the power of God’s life.

XIV. TWO THINGS CONCERNING THIS LIFE’S REACTION

Finally, we need to pay attention to two things concerning this life’s reaction.
First, we have to pray every day. We have to ask the Lord to deliver us from
temptations and from the evil one. We have to pray every day to be delivered
from temptations. Humanly speaking, it is impossible to live on earth
according to the principles spoken of above. The reactions required by the
Lord are impossible to find on earth. You will exhaust all you have after
trying to live this way a few times. This is why the Lord inserts a prayer in the
teachings on the mount. It is a prayer that prays for deliverance from
temptations and from the evil one. We can live in this world only with the
Lord’s protection. Without His protection, we cannot go on even for a single
day. This prayer is indispensable. If we have no intention to live this kind of
life or have this kind of reaction, nothing more needs to be said. But as soon
as we want to live by God’s life, we have to pray this prayer. We even have to
pray this prayer every day.

Do not share this principle of the Christian life with the unbelievers. Do not
share this principle of the Christian life with nominal Christians. This is what
Matthew 7 tells us. Do not give spiritual things to dogs, and do not throw
pearls before swine. Dogs and swine are unclean. Dogs signify everything evil
and unclean, and swine signify nominal Christians who are void of life.
Outwardly, they have split hooves, but inwardly they do not chew the cud.
Outwardly, they are Christians, but inwardly they are not. Do not tell them
these words. If you do, you are asking for trouble. If you say this, they may
say, “Turn your cheek. Let me try this on you.” Telling them such things is to
ask for trouble for yourself. Pay attention to this. You should pray so that you
can be spared such trouble.

Second, we have to maintain our Christian standing. We should not seek

trouble for ourselves. However, with God’s permission and under His
sovereignty and the Holy Spirit’s administration, we may face such
situations, either at the hand of believers or unbelievers. At such times we
should have the proper reactions and not retreat.

The Christian life is a wonderful life. The more you are persecuted,
embarrassed, and unreasonably treated, the happier you are before God.
This is the only way to happiness. If I hit a brother today, and he immediately
turned his right cheek, I would be uncomfortable for a whole month; that
would be the most unhappy thing for me.

For as long as a Christian lives on earth, he cannot take advantage of anyone.

If you take advantage of something or someone once, you will not be able to
lift up your head for a whole month before the Lord. Any gain on earth is loss
in reality. It is better to let others strike you. When others strike you, you can
go home and sleep well, eat well, and sing well. You can climb up the hill, and
the moon will shine brighter upon your face. Do not think that you have
gained something by taking advantage. The only way to take the right course
is to react the right way, and the only way to live according to proper
principles is to have the right reactions.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
DELIVERANCE
Scripture Reading: Rom. 7:15—8:2
It is possible for a person to be free from sin immediately after he has
believed in the Lord. However, this may not be the common experience of all
believers. After believing in the Lord, many people fall back into sin instead
of being freed from sin. It is true that they are saved. They belong to the Lord
and possess eternal life. However, they are still troubled by sin and are
unable to serve the Lord as they wish.

It is a very painful experience for a person to be continually troubled by sin

after he has believed in the Lord. A person who has been enlightened by God
has a sensitive conscience. He is sensitive toward sin and has a life that
condemns sin. However, he may still be bothered by sin. This results in much
frustration and even discouragement. It is indeed a very painful experience.

Many Christians try to overcome sin. Some think that if they try hard enough
to renounce sin, they will eventually be free from sin. As a result, they try
their best to reject the temptations of sin. Some realize that sin should be
overcome, and they continually wrestle with sin in the hope of overcoming
it. Others think that sin has made them a captive and that they must strive
hard to free themselves from its bondage. However, all these are man’s
thoughts; they are not God’s word or teaching. None of these methods lead
to victory. God’s Word does not tell us to struggle with sin by our own efforts.
It says that we should be delivered from sin, that is, be released or freed from
sin. Sin is a power which enslaves man. The way to deal with this power is
not by destroying it ourselves but by allowing the Lord to free us from it. We
have sin, and there is no way to separate ourselves from it. The Lord’s way is
not to vanquish sin. He is saving us from sin’s power by moving us away from
it. New believers should know from the start the right way to be delivered
from sin. There is no need to travel a long and tortuous path to find
deliverance from sin. We can take the way of freedom as soon as we believe.
Now let us try to deal with this matter according to Romans 7 and 8.

I. SIN BEING A LAW

Romans 7:15-25 says, “For what I work out, I do not acknowledge; for what
I will, this I do not practice; but what I hate, this I do....For to will is present
with me, but to work out the good is not. For I do not do the good which I
will; but the evil which I do not will, this I practice. But if what I do not will,
this I do, it is no longer I that work it out....I find then the law with me who
wills to do the good, that is, the evil is present with me. For I delight in the
law of God according to the inner man, but I see a different law in my
members, warring against the law of my mind and making me a captive to
the law of sin which is in my members....So then with the mind I myself serve
the law of God, but with the flesh, the law of sin.”

In verses 15 through 20, Paul repeatedly uses the word will and the phrase do
not will. The emphasis is on willing or not willing, resolving or not resolving.
In verses 21 to 25, there is another emphasis on the law. These two things are
the keys to this passage of the Word.

First, we need to understand the term law. The common understanding of a

law is that it is something that remains the same all the time, something that
allows no exceptions. Moreover, there is power in a law. This power is a
natural power, not an artificial power. All laws have power. For example,
gravity is a law. If you throw something up, it will eventually fall back to the
ground. You do not have to pull the object down with your hands; the earth
has a force that pulls it down for you. If you throw a stone up, it will fall. If
you throw an iron up, it also will fall. If you throw something up in China, it
will fall. If you throw the same thing up in other countries, it will fall. An
object in the air will fall the same today and tomorrow. Any object in the air,
as long as nothing is holding it, will fall regardless of time and space. A law
remains the same all the time and allows no exceptions. It is a natural force
which requires no human effort for its perpetuation.

Romans 7 shows us that Paul was trying to be victorious. He was trying to

free himself from sin. He wanted to please God. He did not want to sin or to
fail. However, he eventually admitted that his resolutions were all futile. He
said, “To will is present with me, but to work out the good is not.” He did not
want to sin, yet he sinned. He wanted to do good and walk according to God’s
law, yet he could not do it. In other words, what he willed he could not do,
and what he resolved to do, he was unable to accomplish. Paul willed again
and again, but the result was only repeated failure. This shows us that the
way to victory lies not in the human will or human resolution. Paul willed
and resolved again and again, but he still failed and sinned. Obviously, to will
is present, but to work out the good is not. The best that a man can do is make
resolutions.

The willing is present but not the good, because sin is a law. Following verse
21 Paul showed us that he remained defeated even after he made numerous
resolutions. This is because sin is a law. This law of sin was present with him
every time he resolved to do good. He was subject to the law of God in his
heart, but his flesh yielded to the law of sin. Whenever he willed to obey God’s
law, a different law rose up in his members, subjecting him to the law of sin.

Paul was the first person in the Bible to point out that sin is a law. This was
a very important discovery! It is a pity that many who have been Christians
for years still do not realize that sin is a law. Many people know that gravity
is a law and thermal expansion of objects is another law. But they do not
know that sin is a law. Paul did not know this at first. After sinning
repeatedly, not voluntarily but involuntarily by a potent force in his body,
Paul discovered that sin is a law.

Our history of failure tells us that whenever temptations come, we try to

resist them. But we are never successful in this resistance. When temptations
come again, we again try to resist them, only to end up in another defeat.
This experience repeats itself ten times, a hundred times, or a thousand
times, and we still find ourselves defeated. This is the story of our failure. We
fail again and again. This is not something that happens by chance; it is a
law. If a person committed only one sin in a lifetime, he could consider sin
as something incidental. However, those who have sinned a hundred or a
thousand times will say that sin is a law; it is something that continually
drives them on.

II. MAN’S WILL BEING UNABLE

TO OVERCOME THE LAW OF SIN
Paul failed because he exercised his will to make resolutions. After verse 21,
Paul’s eyes were opened. He saw that the enemy he was dealing with—sin—
was nothing less than a law. When he saw that sin was a law, he could only
sigh and say, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from the body
of this death?” He realized that it was impossible for him to prevail over sin
by his will.

What is the will? The will is man’s own volition. It is what man wants,
determines, and decides to do. It is man’s opinions and judgments. Once a
man’s will resolves to do something, he begins to carry it out. Man’s will can
produce some power. Therefore, there is power in the will.

But herein lies the problem. When the will comes in conflict with the law of
sin, which one prevails? The will usually prevails at the beginning, but
ultimately sin prevails. Suppose you hold up a book that weighs one catty [a
Chinese measure of weight] with your hand. Gravity is pulling it down while
you are trying your best to hold it up. But the unceasing operation of the law
of gravity will eventually prevail, and the book will fall to the floor. You may
try to hold it up with your hand. You may prevail for an hour, but after two
hours you will feel tired, and after another hour your hand will no longer
obey you. Eventually, you will let go of it. Gravity never tires out, but your
hand does. The law of gravity is pulling the book down continuously, every
hour, every minute, and even every second. Your hand cannot fight against
the law of gravity forever. The longer you hold the book, the heavier it feels.
The book has not become heavier, but the law of gravity has triumphed over
the power of your hand, and you feel as if the book has become heavier and
heavier. The same principle applies when you try to overcome sin with your
will. The will can stand against sin for a while. But the power of sin far
exceeds the power of the will. Sin is a law; it is not destroyed by the resistance
of man’s will. Whenever the power of the will slackens, the law of sin surfaces.
The human will cannot persist forever, but the law of sin is always active. The
will may prevail for a little while, but in the end it will always be overcome by
the law of sin.

Before we see that sin is a law, we keep trying to overcome it by our own will.
When temptation comes, we hold our breath and try to overcome, only to
find that it has overcome us instead. When temptation comes again, we make
a stronger resolution because we think that our last failure was caused by a
faulty resolution. We tell ourselves that we will not sin this time and that we
will overcome. But the result is the same—we fail again. We do not know why
our resolution cannot bring us victory over sin. We do not realize that
overcoming sin by the will never works.

It is easy to see that temper is a sin. When someone says something unkind,
you feel hurt and upset. If he continues to speak unpleasant words, you may
hit your desk, blow up, exchange words, or do anything. Afterwards, you may
feel that as a Christian you should not have lost your temper, and you may
resolve to control your temper the next time. You pray and believe that God
has forgiven you. You confess your sin to others, and your heart is once again
filled with joy. You think that you will never lose your temper again. But a
little later, you hear more unkind words and become upset once again. When
these words come to you the second time, you begin to murmur within. By
the third time, your temper explodes. Afterwards, you realize that you were
wrong again, and you ask the Lord for forgiveness, promising Him that you
will never lose your temper again. But the same thing happens the next time
you hear unkind words; after a while, your temper flares up again. You
exercise your will again and again, only to find that you fail again and again.
This proves that sin is not an accidental mistake; it is not something that
happens only once. It is something that happens repeatedly, something that
haunts you all your life. Those who lie continue to lie, and those who lose
their temper continue to lose their temper. This is a law; no human power
can overcome it. Paul did not learn this lesson at first, so he exercised his will
repeatedly to no avail. It is impossible for man to try to overcome the law of
sin by his will.

Once the Lord grants you mercy and shows you that sin is a law, you will not
be far from victory. If you continue to think that sin is an occasional act and
that victory can be secured through additional prayers and struggles against
temptations, you are far from victory. Paul’s story shows us that sin is a law.
The power of sin is strong; our own power is weak. The power of sin always
prevails, while our own power always fails. As soon as Paul realized that sin
is a law, he knew that none of his methods would work. His determination
was useless; he would never overcome the law of sin by his will. This was a
great discovery, a great revelation to him.

Paul saw that a man cannot experience deliverance by the exercise of the will.
As long as a man trusts in the power of his own will, he will not turn to God’s
way of deliverance. The day will come when you will prostrate yourself before
God and acknowledge that you can do nothing and henceforth will do
nothing. That will be the day you find deliverance. Only then will you
understand Romans 8. Brothers and sisters, please do not belittle Romans 7.
We must first have the knowledge of chapter seven before we can have the
experience of chapter eight. The problem is not whether you understand the
doctrine in Romans 8 but whether or not you have emerged from Romans 7.
Many have buried themselves in Romans 7; they are still trying to deal with
sin by their will. The result is nothing but failure. If you have not seen that
sin is a law and that your will can never overcome this law, you are trapped
in Romans 7; you will never arrive at Romans 8. Our newly saved brothers
and sisters must accept God’s Word as it is written. If you try to find your
own way out, you will end up with nothing but sin. You will sin again and
again, and your eyes will continue to be veiled. You will remain in your
blindness. Your eyes need to be opened to see that all your willing and
struggling is in vain.
Since sin is a law and the will cannot overcome this law, what is the way of
victory?

III. THE LAW OF THE SPIRIT OF LIFE

FREEING US FROM THE LAW OF SIN
Romans 8:1-2 says, “There is now then no condemnation to those who are in
Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has freed me in Christ Jesus from
the law of sin and of death.” The way to victory is to be freed from the law of
sin and of death. This verse does not say, “The Spirit of life has freed me in
Christ Jesus from sin and death.” (I am afraid that many Christians think
this way.) Rather, it says, “The law of the Spirit of life has freed me in Christ
Jesus from the law of sin and of death.” Many Christians see the Spirit of life
setting them free from only sin and death. They do not see the law of the
Spirit of life freeing them from the law of sin and of death. It takes many
years for some Christians to realize that sin and death are a law in them and
that the Holy Spirit is another law in them. When the Lord opens their eyes,
they will see that sin and death are a law and that the Holy Spirit is a law as
well. The realization of the Holy Spirit as a law is a great discovery. When we
realize that the life-giving Spirit is a law, we will jump up and exclaim,
“Thank God, Hallelujah!” Man’s will cannot overcome the law of sin, but the
law of the Spirit of life has freed us from the law of sin and of death. Only the
law of the Spirit of life can free man from the law of sin.

Once we realize that sin is a law, we will no longer try to do anything by our
will. When God grants us mercy to see that the Holy Spirit is a law, we will
experience a great change. Many people only see the Spirit of life giving us
life. They do not see that the Holy Spirit is another law in us, and that we can
be freed spontaneously from the law of sin and of death when we trust in this
law. There is no effort involved for this law to deliver us from the other law.
We do not need to will, to do anything, or to hold on to the Holy Spirit. We
do not need to be that busy when the Lord’s Spirit is in us. If we fear that the
Lord’s Spirit will not work in us unless we rush in to help Him in times of
temptation, we have not seen the Spirit as a law within us yet. May we see
that the Holy Spirit is a spontaneous law within us. The way of deliverance
from sin is not through the exercise of the will. If we exercise our will, we will
end up in failure. God has given us another law which spontaneously frees us
from the law of sin and of death. The problem of one law can only be resolved
by another law.
There is no effort involved when we try to overcome one law with another
law. We have mentioned before that gravity is a law. It pulls every object
down to the ground. But helium is a gas which is lighter than air. If we seal it
in a tight balloon, the balloon will rise up. It will rise spontaneously; there is
no need to fan it or support it by any force. As soon as we let go, the balloon
will rise. The rising is a law, and we do not need to do anything about it. In
the same way, no effort is involved when we deal with the law of sin and of
death by the law of the Spirit of life.

Suppose someone scolds you or strikes you without cause. It is possible for
you to overcome the situation even without realizing what has happened.
After the whole thing is over, you may wonder how you did not get angry
when you were scolded. You should have been very angry at the other
person’s word. But surprisingly you overcame the situation without even
realizing it! Indeed, all victories are unconscious victories because the law of
the Holy Spirit is operating and upholding us, not our own will. This kind of
spontaneous victory is genuine victory. Once you experience this, you will
realize that only the indwelling Spirit can keep you from sin; you do not have
to will not to sin. It is also the indwelling Holy Spirit who is enabling you to
overcome; you do not have to will to overcome. Since this law dwells in you,
you are delivered from the law of sin and of death. You are in Christ Jesus,
and the law of the Spirit of life is in you. Spontaneously, you are free. As long
as you do not rely on your own will and effort, the Holy Spirit will bring you
into victory.

Hence, victory over sin has nothing to do with our effort. We did not exert
any effort when the law of sin directed us to sin. Similarly, we do not need to
exert any effort in order for the law of the Holy Spirit to free us from sin.
Genuine victory is one that requires no effort on our part. There is nothing
for us to do. We can lift up our eyes and say to the Lord, “All is well.” Our
past failures were the result of a law and today’s victories are also a result of
a law. The former law is powerful, but the present law is more powerful. The
former law is indeed potent in bringing us to sin, but the present law is more
absolute in saving us from condemnation. When the law of the Spirit of life
is expressed through us, its power is far greater than that of the law of sin
and of death.

If we see this, we will truly be freed from sin. The Bible does not say that we
can overcome sin with our will. It speaks only of freedom from sin: “The law
of the Spirit of life has freed me in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and of
death.” The law of the life-giving Spirit has pulled us out of the realm of the
law of sin and of death. The law of sin and of death is still present, but the
one on whom it worked is no longer there.

Every saved person should be clear about the way to deliverance. First, we
must see that sin is a law in us. If we do not see this, we cannot go on. Second,
we need to see that the will cannot overcome the law of sin. Third, we need
to see that the Holy Spirit is a law, and this law frees us from the law of sin.

The sooner a new believer realizes this way of deliverance, the better it is. In
fact, no one needs to wait for many years before seeing the way of
deliverance. You do not need to suffer many hardships before experiencing
freedom. Many brothers and sisters have wasted their time unnecessarily;
they have shed many tears of defeat. If you want to experience less pain and
tears, you should realize from the start that the way to deliverance lies in
these words: “The law of the Spirit of life has freed me in Christ Jesus.” This
law is so perfect and powerful that it will save you to the uttermost; there is
no need to do anything to help it. This law frees you from sin completely,
sanctifies you wholly, and fills you with life spontaneously.

Brothers and sisters, do not think that the Holy Spirit within us only
expresses His life through us occasionally. If we think this way, it proves that
we only know the Spirit; we do not know the law of the Spirit. The law of the
Spirit expresses His life continuously. It remains the same at all times and in
all places. We do not have to tell this law to behave in a certain way; it behaves
the way it does without our guidance. Once the Lord opens our eyes, we will
see that the treasure within is not just the Holy Spirit or a life, but a law as
well. Then we will be released, and the problem of sin will be over.

May God open our eyes to see this way of deliverance. May He open our eyes
to see this secret to victory, and may we have a good start on this straight
path.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
OUR LIFE
Scripture Reading: Col. 3:4; Phil. 1:21; Gal. 2:20
I. CHRIST OUR LIFE
Many Christians have a wrong concept about the Lord Jesus. They think that
the Lord set up a good pattern for us while He was on earth and that we
should imitate this pattern. It is true that the Bible charges us to imitate the
Lord (Rom. 15:5; 1 Cor. 11:1; etc.). But the Bible does not tell us to do this by
ourselves. There is something we must see before we can imitate Him. Many
people want to imitate the Lord, but they repeatedly fail. They regard the
Lord like they regard good Chinese calligraphy, something to be copied
stroke by stroke. They do not realize how frail man is and that no fleshly
energy could give man enough strength to imitate Him.

Some Christians think that they can ask the Lord to empower them simply
because the Bible says, “I am able to do all things in Him who empowers me”
(Phil. 4:13). They feel that there are many things that need to be done, many
biblical precepts that need to be obeyed, and many examples of the Lord that
need to be imitated. They also feel that none of this can be done unless they
have more power. Therefore, they ask the Lord for power. They think that if
the Lord would only give them the power, they would be able to do all things.
Many people just wait and hope daily for the Lord to give them the power to
conduct their activities.

It is true that we need to look to the Lord for power. But in addition to asking
for power, we need to see something further. Without seeing this one thing,
we will not always have the power, even though we may be looking to the
Lord. We can pray to the Lord every day for power. But sometimes the Lord
answers such prayer, and sometimes He does not. To some people this means
that they can do all things when He empowers them and that they can do
nothing when He does not empower them. This is precisely the reason so
many Christians fail again and again. We have to ask the Lord to empower
us. But if we take this as an isolated commandment or as the only way, we
will fail.

The fundamental relationship between Christ and us is conveyed in the

words Christ our life. We can imitate the Lord only because He has become
our life. We can ask Him for strength only because He has become our life.
There is no way to imitate Him or be empowered by Him unless we
understand the meaning of Christ our life. Hence we must first understand,
see, and grasp the secret of Christ our life before we can imitate Him or ask
Him for strength.
Colossians 3:4 says, “Christ our life.” Philippians 1:21 says, “For to me, to live
is Christ.” This shows us that the way to victory is for Christ to be our life.
Victory is, “For to me, to live is Christ.” If a Christian does not know what is
meant by Christ our life, and what is meant by for to me, to live is Christ, he
will not experience the Lord’s life on earth; he will not be able to follow the
Lord, to experience victory in Him, or to proceed on the course before him.

II. FOR TO ME, TO LIVE IS CHRIST

There are many Christians who have greatly misunderstood Philippians 1:21.
When Paul said, “For to me, to live is Christ,” he was stating a fact. They
think for to me, to live is Christ is a goal or a hope. But Paul did not say that
his goal was to live Christ. Paul was saying, “I live because I have Christ; I
cannot live without Him.” This was a fact in him, not a goal he was seeking.
It was the secret to his living, not the hope he was cherishing. His living was
Christ. For him to live was for Christ to live.

Galatians 2:20 is a very familiar verse to many Christians. But many

misunderstand it more than they misunderstand Philippians 1:21. They have
made Galatians 2:20 their goal, praying with aspiration and hoping they will
reach the state when “it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in
me.” Each time this verse is read, they are full of aspiration. Many people
pray, fast, and hope that one day they will be crucified with Christ and reach
the state when “it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.”
Galatians 2:20 has become their goal and their hope.

According to our experience, no one with such a hope ever reaches his goal.
If you make it your goal and hope to attain such a state, if you aspire to be
crucified, that is, to no longer be the one who lives but instead to have Christ
living in you, you will wait forever before seeing your aspiration fulfilled,
because you are hoping for something that is impossible to achieve.

God has given us a wonderful gift of grace. There is a way. Those who fail can
overcome; those who are unclean can be clean; those who are worldly can be
holy; those who are earthly can be heavenly; and those who are carnal can be
spiritual. This is not a goal, but a way. This way lies in the life of substitution.
Just as we found a vicarious death in the Lord’s grace, we also can find a
vicarious living in Him. On the cross the Lord bore our sins. Through His
death we were spared death. Our sins were forgiven, and we were spared
judgment. Similarly, Paul tells us that we are spared of our living through the
Lord living in us. The implication is simple: Since He lives in us, we no longer
need to live. Just as He died once for us on the cross, today He is living for
us and in us. Paul did not say, “I hope that I will not live. I hope that I will
allow Him to live.” Instead, he was saying, “I no longer live anymore. He is
the One who is living.” “It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in
me.” This is the secret to victory. This is the way to be victorious.

The day we heard that we did not need to die, we embraced that word as the
gospel. Similarly, it should also be a day of the gospel to us when we hear that
we do not need to live. I hope that the new believers will pray much for God’s
enlightenment and will see that Christ lives in us and that we no longer need
to live by ourselves.

Unless we see this, maintaining a testimony or living the Christian life is a

great burden. It is a great burden to fight temptation, to bear the cross, or to
obey God’s will. Many believers feel that it is very hard to maintain the
Christian life. Daily they try, yet daily they sigh. Daily they struggle, yet daily
they fail. Every day they try to maintain their testimony, yet every day they
bring shame to the Lord. Many people do not have the strength to reject sin,
yet they feel guilty when they do not reject it. They feel condemned when they
lose their temper, yet they cannot be patient. They feel sorry for hating
others, yet they have no strength to love. Many people are exhausted from
trying to live the Christian life. They feel that the Christian life is like climbing
a hill with a heavy burden on their back; they can never reach the top. Before
they were saved, they had the burden of sin on their back. Now that they have
believed in the Lord, they have the burden of holiness on their back. They
exchange one burden for another, and the new one is just as tiresome and
burdensome as the old one.

This experience clearly shows that they are practicing the Christian life in a
wrong way. Paul said, “It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in
me.” This is the secret of Christian living. It is the Lord in you who is living
the Christian life, not you living it by yourself. If you live the Christian life by
yourself, endurance will be a suffering to you, as will love, humility, and
bearing the cross. But if Christ lives in you, endurance will be a joy; so will
love, humility, and bearing the cross.

Brothers and sisters, you may be tired of trying to live the Christian life. You
may feel that the Christian life is consuming you and binding you. But if you
see that you no longer need to live, you will agree that this is a great gospel
to you. Every Christian can be spared such a wearisome living. This is a great
gospel! You no longer have to exert so much effort trying to be a Christian.
You no longer have to bear such a heavy burden for your Christian life! You
can say, “In the past I heard the gospel which told me that I could be spared
death. Thank God, I no longer need to die. Today I am tired and weary of
living. God says that I can be spared living. Thank God, I no longer need to
struggle to live.”

It is, of course, a suffering for us to die. But it is equally a suffering for us to

live before God. We have no idea what God’s holiness is all about. We do not
know what love is and what the cross is. For men like us to try to live unto
God is indeed an unbearable burden. The more we try to live, the more we
sigh and suffer. It is a big struggle to labor and strive to live the Christian life.
In fact, it is altogether impossible for us to do it. We could never satisfy God’s
demands. Some people always have a bad temper. Others can never be
humble; they are always proud. For a proud person to try to live in God’s
presence and act humbly every day is a very wearisome and tiring task. Paul
was a weary and worn-out Christian in Romans 7. He said, “For to will is
present with me, but to work out the good is not” (v. 18). Every day he willed,
but every day he failed. This is why he could only sigh, “Wretched man that I
am!” (v. 24). Actually, being a Christian is not an exercise akin to putting a
carnal man in heaven and subjecting him to slavery there. Fortunately, no
carnal man can enter heaven. Otherwise, as soon as he entered it, he would
run away quickly; he would not be able to stand even one day there. His
temperament would be too different from God’s temperament, and his
thought too far from God’s thought. His ways would be too different from
God’s ways, and his views too different from God’s view. How would he ever
be able to meet God’s demands? There would be nothing he could do before
God except run away.

But this is a gospel for you. God does not want you to do good. He does not
want you to make up your mind to do good. God only wants Christ to live in
you. God does not care about good or bad; He cares about who is doing the
good. God is not satisfied with good alone; He wants to know who is doing
the good.

Hence, God’s way is not for us to imitate Christ or to walk like Christ. Neither
is it to plead on our knees for strength to walk like Christ. God’s way is for us
to experience that it is “no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.”
Do we see the difference here? This is not a matter of imitating Christ’s life,
nor of being empowered to live this life, but a matter of no longer being the
ones living at all. God does not allow us to live according to ourselves. We do
not come to God by ourselves; we come to God through Christ living in us. It
is not a matter of imitating Christ or of receiving some power from Christ,
but of Christ living in us.

This is the living of a believer. The living of a believer is one in which it is no

longer him who lives, but it is Christ living in him. In the past I was the one
who lived, not Christ. But today, it is not I who live, but Christ. Another One
has come to live in my place. If a person cannot say, “It is no longer I who
live, but it is Christ who lives in me,” this person does not know what
Christianity is; he does not know the life of Christ, nor the life of a believer.
He is merely aspiring to be “not I but Christ.” But Paul did not say that he
was striving to be this way. He told us that this was how he lived. His way
was to stop living by himself and to let Christ live instead.

III. I HAVE BEEN CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST

Perhaps some will ask, “How can we experience it is no longer I who live ?
How can ‘I’ be eliminated?” The answer to this question lies in the first part
of Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ.” If I am not crucified with
Christ, I cannot be eliminated. If I am not crucified with Christ, I am still I.
How can I say, “It is no longer I”? Only those who are “crucified with Christ”
can say, “It is no longer I.”

In order for our crucifixion with Christ to become experiential, there is the
need of cooperation from two sides. It is impossible to experience this
crucifixion if there is cooperation on only one side; cooperation on both sides
is essential.

Our inner eyes have to be opened. When Christ was crucified on the cross,
God put our sins on Christ and crucified them on the cross. This is God’s side
of the work. Christ died for us and took our sins away. This occurred more
than nineteen hundred years ago, and we believe it. Similarly, when Christ
was crucified, God put us into Christ. Just as our sins were settled more than
nineteen hundred years ago, our person was also dealt with at the same time.
When God laid our sins on Christ, He also put our person in Christ. On the
cross our sins were removed. On the cross our person was also dealt with.
We must remember Romans 6:6: “Knowing this, that our old man has been
crucified with Him.” We do not have to hope to be crucified with Christ. We
have been crucified with Him, forever and unchangeably crucified with Him.
God has put us into Christ. When Christ died on the cross, we died on the
cross as well.

If you take a piece of paper, write a few letters on it, and then tear the paper
apart, you tear the letters apart as well. You are tearing the paper, but as the
paper is torn, the letters are torn. The Bible tells us that the veil of the temple
was embroidered with cherubim (Exo. 26:1). When the Lord died, the veil
was split (Matt. 27:51), and therefore the cherubim were split as well. The
veil refers to the body of Christ (Heb. 10:20). The cherubim had the face of a
man, the face of a lion, the face of an ox, and the face of an eagle (Ezek. 1:10;
10:20). This signifies all created beings. When the body of the Lord Jesus was
split, all the creation in Him was split as well. He died that He might “taste
death on behalf of everything” (Heb. 2:9). The whole old creation passed
away with Him. You have been trying in vain to do good and to be a successful
Christian for years. Now God has crucified you with Christ. When Christ was
crucified, the whole old creation was split, and you were split as well.

You have to believe in this truth. Your eyes need to be open to see that your
sins were upon Christ and your person was also upon Christ. Your sins were
on the cross, and your person was also on the cross. Your sins were taken
away, and your person was also crucified. All this has been accomplished by
Christ. Many people fail because they keep looking at themselves. Those who
have faith should look at the cross and see what Christ has accomplished.
God placed me in Christ. When Christ died, I also died!

But why is this “person” still living today? Since you have been crucified, why
are you still living? To solve this problem you must believe and exercise your
will to identify yourself with God. If you are looking at your own “self” every
day, hoping that it will improve, this self will become more alive; it will not
die by itself. What is death? When a person is so weak that he cannot be
weakened any further, he has died. Many people do not admit their own
weakness. They are still demanding so much from themselves. This means
that they are not yet dead.

Romans 6 says that God has crucified us with Christ. But Romans 7 tells us
of one person who is still trying to will. Even though God has crucified him,
he still wills to do good. He cannot die, yet he cannot do good either. If he
would say, “Lord, I cannot make it, and I do not believe I will make it. I
cannot do good, and I will not will to do good,” everything would be fine. But
Romans 7 tells us that man is not willing to die. God has already crucified
our old man, but we are unwilling to die; we still exercise our will to do good.
Today many Christians are still trying when they know very well that they
cannot make it. Nothing can be done about these Christians. Suppose there
is a person who cannot be patient. What can he do? He may try his best to be
patient by himself. Whenever he prays he asks for patience. Even while he is
working he thinks about patience. But the more he tries to be patient, the less
patient he becomes. Instead of trying to be patient, he should say, “Lord, You
have already crucified this impatient person. I am impatient. I do not want
to be patient and do not intend to be patient.” This is the way to victory.

The Lord has crucified you. You should say simply, “Amen.” He has crucified
you, and it is futile for you to try to be patient by yourself. God knows you
cannot make it. This is why He crucified you. Even though you still try to be
patient, God considers you hopeless. He has even crucified you. It is a great
mistake to think you can make it. It is also a great mistake to try to live the
Christian life. God already knows that you cannot make it; the only way He
has for you is crucifixion. Even though you think that you can make it, God
says that you cannot make it and that you should die. How foolish it is to still
make resolutions and to struggle! God knows that you cannot make it, and it
would be well with you if you agreed with Him. God knows that you deserve
to die. If you would say, “Amen, I will die,” everything would be well. The
cross is God’s assessment of us. In God’s view we cannot make it. If we could
make it, God would not have crucified us. He knows that the only way for us
is death. This is why He crucified us. If we saw things the same way God sees
them, everything would be settled. Brothers and sisters, God must bring us
to the point where we accept His verdict.

Here we see two aspects: First, Christ died, and we were crucified. This is
something God has done. Second, we have to acknowledge this fact; we need
to say, “Amen.” These two sides must work together before God’s work can
take effect on us. If we constantly frustrate Him by trying to do good and be
patient and humble, the work of Christ will have no effect on us. Our
resolution to be humble or to be patient only makes things worse. Instead,
we should bow down our head and say, “Lord, You have said that I am
crucified, and I will say the same thing; You have said that I am useless, and
I will say the same thing; You have said that I cannot be patient, and I will no
longer try to be patient; You have said that I cannot be humble, and I will no
longer try to be humble. This is what I am. It is useless for me to try to make
any further resolutions. I am only fit to remain on the cross.” If we did this,
Christ would live Himself out of us!
We should not think that this is a difficult thing to do. Every brother and
sister should learn this lesson after he or she is saved. From the beginning
we must learn not to live. Instead, we should let the Lord live. The basic
problem is that many Christians have not given up on themselves. They still
try to solve their problems themselves. The Lord Jesus has already given up
on them, but they are still struggling and trying to come up with ways to live.
They stumble again and again, only to rise up to try again and again. They
sin again and again, only to make more and more resolutions. They have not
given up on themselves. The day will come when God grants mercy to them
and opens their eyes. On that day they will see that as God considered them
hopeless, they should consider themselves hopeless as well. Since God has
pronounced death to be the only way, they also should pronounce death as
the only way. Only then will they come to God and confess, “You have
crucified me, and I do not want to live anymore. I have been crucified with
Christ. From now on, it is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in
me.”

For years we have been so wrong. We have committed so many sins and have
been bound by so much weakness, pride, and temper. It is about time that
we give up on ourselves. We should come to the Lord and say, “I have done
enough; nothing has worked. I give up. You take over! I have been crucified
on the cross. From now on live in my place!” This is the meaning of “it is no
longer I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me.”

IV. LIVING BY THE FAITH OF THE SON OF GOD

The other part of Galatians 2:20 is also very important: “And the life which I
now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith in the Son of God.” Christ lives in
us. From this point forward, we live by faith in the Son of God. We believe
daily that the Son of God lives in us. We say to the Lord, “I believe that You
are living for me. You are my life; I believe that You are living in me.” When
we believe this way, we live this way. No matter what happens, we will no
longer make any move. The fundamental lesson of Romans 7 is that we
should not make any resolutions. The basic teaching is that it is better that
we not will to do anything, because such a willing is useless. Since it is useless
to do anything by ourselves, we should simply stop all our moves.
The purpose of Satan’s temptation is not only for us to sin but also for the old
man within us to move. When temptation comes, we must learn to refuse to
move and to say to the Lord, “This is not my business. This is Your business.
I look to You to live in my place.” Always learn to look to Him. Never try to
move on your own. We are saved through faith, not through works. In the
same way our life is based on faith, not on works. We were saved through
looking to the Lord alone. Today we live through looking to Him as well. Just
as salvation is accomplished by the Lord, without the involvement of any of
our work, so also our living on earth today is a living of the Lord Himself,
without the need for any involvement of ourselves. We must look up to the
Lord who saves us and say, “It is You alone, not I.”

After we say this, if we still move on our own, we are saying this in vain. We
must stop our own activity before these words can be meaningful in any way.
Brothers and sisters, we must remember that failure comes not because we
do too little, but because we do too much. As long as man keeps on working,
God’s grace will not operate and man’s sins will not be forgiven. In the same
way, as long as man is occupied with his own work, trying to do everything
by himself, Christ’s life will not be manifested. This is a rule. The cross will
not produce any effect on those who trust in their own work. When we insist
on our own goodness, we will not be saved. But when we turn away from
ourselves to the Lord, we will be saved. The same is true today. If we are
working and operating, instead of the cross working in us and the life of
Christ operating in us, this speaking will be in vain. We must learn to
condemn ourselves. We must confess that we will never overcome by
ourselves. Do not will and do not try to do anything. Simply look to the Lord
and say, “I look to You as the One who is living in me! Live on my behalf. I
look to You for victory! I look to You to express Your life through me.” If we
say this, the Lord will accomplish it for us. But if we frustrate our faith by our
own work, the Lord can do nothing. We have to settle this question once and
for all. We have to believe daily and speak to the Lord daily in a definite way:
“Lord, I am useless! I take Your cross. Lord, keep me from moving. Lord, be
my Master and live out of me.” If we can believe, hope, and trust in this way,
we will be able to testify daily, “It is no longer I who live, but it is Christ who
lives.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
SEEKING GOD’S WILL
Scripture Reading: John 7:17; Matt. 10:29-31; 18:15-20; Rom. 8:14; Psa.
119:105; 1 John 2:27
 I. THE NEED TO OBEY GOD’S WILL
Before we were saved, we did everything according to our own will. At that
time we served ourselves and did everything to please ourselves. We would
do anything as long as it pleased us or made us happy. However, now we have
believed in the Lord and have accepted Christ Jesus as our Savior. We have
acknowledged Him as our Master, the One whom we serve. We have
acknowledged that He has redeemed us. We belong to Him and are of Him,
and we are here to serve Him. For this reason, we need a fundamental
change. We no longer should walk according to our preference; we must walk
according to God’s will. After we believe in the Lord, the focus of our living
changes. The focus is no longer ourselves, but the Lord. The first thing we
should do after we are saved is ask, “What shall I do, Lord?” Paul asked this
question in Acts 22:10, and we should ask the same question. Whenever we
come across a situation, we should say, “Lord, not as I will, but as You will.”
In making decisions or in choosing our paths, we should always say to the
Lord, “Not as I will, but as You will.”

The life we possess has one basic demand—to walk according to God’s will.
The more we obey God’s will, the happier we become within. The more we
deny our own will, the straighter our pathway will be before God. If we walk
according to our own will as we once did, we will not feel happy. Instead, we
will suffer. After we are saved, the more we walk according to our own will,
the more suffering and the less joy we will have. But the more we walk
according to the new life and the more we obey God’s will, the more peace
and joy we will have. This is a wonderful change. We should not think that
we will be happy if we walk according to our own will. After becoming
Christians, we will find our path filled with peace and joy if we do not walk
according to our own will but learn to submit to and obey God’s will.
Christian joy has to do with obeying God’s will, not with walking according
to our own will.

Once we become Christians, we have to learn to accept God’s will and be

governed by it. If a person can submit humbly to God’s will, he will spare
himself many needless detours. Many fail and stop growing in life because
they walk according to their own will. The result of walking according to our
own will is nothing but sorrow and poverty. In the end we still have to walk
according to God’s will. God always subdues us through things,
circumstances, and the environment. If we have not been chosen by God, He
will let us walk as we wish. But since we have been chosen by God, He will
lead us to the way of obedience according to His way. Disobedience will only
cost us unnecessary detours. In the end we will still have to obey.

II. HOW TO KNOW GOD’S WILL

Our question now is how do we know God’s will. We often think that mortals
like us could never understand God’s will. However, we should have the
assurance that not only do we want to obey God’s will, but God Himself also
wants us to obey His will. Not only do we seek to know His will, but God
Himself also wants us to know His will. If God wants us to obey His will, He
must first enable us to know His will. Therefore, it is God’s business to reveal
His will to us. None of God’s children need to worry and say, “Since I cannot
know God’s will, how can I obey it?” This concern is unnecessary because
God always has a way to show us His will (Heb. 13:21). We have to believe
that God will always show us His will through the proper means. It is God’s
responsibility to tell us His will. If we are submissive in our attitude and
intention, we will surely know His will. All of us must learn to believe that
God is eager to reveal His will to man.

What are the ways to know God’s will? A Christian must pay attention to
three things in order to know God’s will. If these three things are in
agreement with one another, we can be quite sure that it is God’s will. These
three things are: (1) arrangements in the environment, (2) the leading of the
Holy Spirit, and (3) the teachings of the Scripture. These three things are not
mentioned according to the order of their importance. They do not
necessarily have to be in sequential order. We are simply stating that these
three things help us know God’s will. When the testimonies of these three
things are in agreement with one another, we can be assured that we know
God’s will. If one of these three things is not in agreement with the other two,
we still need to wait. We must wait until all three agree with one another
before we go ahead.

A. Arrangements in the Environment

Luke 12:6 says, “Are not five sparrows sold for two assaria?” Matthew 10:29
says, “Are not two sparrows sold for an assarion?” If one assarion could buy
two sparrows, then by right two assaria should only buy four sparrows. But
the Lord said two assaria could buy five sparrows. One assarion buys two,
and two assaria buy four plus an additional one. This shows us the cheapness
of a sparrow. However, even a cheap thing such as a sparrow is not allowed
to fall to the earth if God forbids it. Although the fifth sparrow is an extra one
that is given for free, no sparrow is forgotten by God. If our God does not
allow it, no sparrow can fall to the earth. This clearly shows us that everything
happens under God’s permission. If our heavenly Father forbids it, even a
sparrow will not fall to the earth.

It is difficult to number a person’s hairs. However, the Lord said, “Even the
hairs of your head are all numbered” (Matt. 10:30). No one knows how many
hairs he has, and no one can count his own hairs, but God has counted and
numbered our hairs. Our God is so fine and so exact!

If God takes care of a seemingly worthless creature such as a sparrow, how

much more will He take care of His children! If God takes care of something
as minute as a hair, how much more will He take care of other things! Once
we believe in the Lord, we need to learn to know His will through the
environment. Nothing that happens to us is a coincidence. Everything is
measured by the Lord. Our career, spouse, parents, children, relatives,
friends, and everything have been ordained by God. Behind everything that
happens to us each day is God’s sovereign arrangement. Therefore, we have
to learn to read God’s will in the environment. A new believer may not be
that experienced in the leading of the Spirit, and he may not know that much
of the teaching of the Scripture. But at least he can see God’s hand in the
environment. This is a believer’s most basic lesson.

Psalm 32:9 says, “Do not be like a horse or like a mule, without
understanding; / Whose trappings consist of bit and bridle to constrain
them, / Else they do not come near you.” Many times we are just like a horse
or a mule, without understanding, and must be harnessed with outward bit
and bridle by God before we can avoid mistakes. Have you ever seen a duck
farmer? He has a long stick in his hand. When the ducks wander to the left
or to the right, he herds them back with his stick. The ducks have no choice
but to take the right path. In the same way, we can commit ourselves to the
Lord and tell Him, “Lord, I am truly like a horse or a mule that has no
understanding. But I do not want to make mistakes. I want to know Your
will. Please harness me with Your bit and pull me with Your bridle. Once You
let go of me, I will take the wrong way. Please guard me with Your will and
direct me into Your will. If I wander away, I want You to stop me. I do not
know many things, but I know what pain feels like. When I reject Your will,
please come in and stop me!” Brothers and sisters, we must never belittle
God’s arrangement in the environment. Even though we may have fallen into
shame and may have become like a horse or a mule, we often can still count
on God’s mercy to bridle us in time. God uses the environment to stop us
from making mistakes. He forces us to have no alternative but to follow Him.

B. The Leading of the Holy Spirit

God’s hand is seen through the environment. But He is not happy to always
guide us like senseless horses or mules. He wants to guide us from within.
Romans 8:14 says, “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons
of God.” We are God’s children and God’s life is within us. God not only
guides us through the environment but also speaks to us and guides us from
within through His Spirit. The Spirit dwells within us, and God’s will is
revealed to us through our innermost being.

The book of Ezekiel tells us that God will “put a new spirit within you” (11:19).
Again it says, “A new spirit will I put within you....I will put my Spirit within
you” (36:26-27). We must distinguish between “a new spirit” and “my Spirit.”
“My Spirit” refers to the Spirit of God, whereas “a new spirit” refers to our
spirit at the time of our regeneration. This new spirit is like a temple, a home
where the Spirit of God dwells. If we did not have a new spirit within us, God
would not have given us His Spirit, and the Holy Spirit could not have dwelt
within us. Throughout the ages God has been trying to give man His Spirit.
However, man’s spirit was defiled, sin-ridden, dead, and fallen in the old
creation. It was impossible for the Spirit of God to dwell in man even though
this was His desire. Man has to receive a new spirit through regeneration
before he can be in the position to receive God’s Spirit and before God can
dwell in him.

Once a new believer has a new spirit, the Spirit of God dwells in him. The
Spirit of God spontaneously communicates to him His will; he spontaneously
has an inner sense. Not only is he able to discern God’s provision in the
environment, but he also now possesses an inward knowledge and inward
assurance. We should learn to trust not only in God’s sovereignty in the
environment but also in the leading of the Holy Spirit within. At the right
time and when the need arises, the Spirit of God will enlighten us within. He
will give us a sense and show us what is of God and what is not of God.

One brother loved to drink before he became a believer. Every winter, he

would drink much wine. He even made his own wine. Later, both he and his
wife were saved. He was not very literate and could not read the Bible very
well. One day he prepared some food and wine and was going to drink as
before. After thanking the Lord for the food, he asked his wife, “Can a
Christian drink wine?” His wife said, “I do not know.” He said, “Too bad no
one is here to tell us.” His wife said, “The wine and the food are ready. Let us
go ahead today and ask others afterward.” He gave thanks again but felt that
something was not right. He thought that, as a Christian, he should find out
whether Christians can take wine. He asked his wife to take out the Bible, but
he did not know where to turn. He was stuck. Later, he met someone and told
him about this incident. His friend asked whether or not he drank the wine
that day. He answered, “In the end I did not drink it, because the householder
within would not allow me. I did not drink the wine.”

If a man has the desire to obey God’s will, he will find out what this will is.
Only those who are callous about their inner sense will remain in darkness.
As long as one has the intention to obey God’s will, the “householder within”
will guide him. The householder that our brother spoke of is actually the Holy
Spirit. When a person believes in the Lord, the Holy Spirit dwells within him.
He guides the believer and becomes his Master. God reveals His will not only
through the environment but also through the “householder within.”

There are two kinds of leading of the Holy Spirit. The first is an inner urging,
as in Acts 8:29 when “the Spirit said to Philip, Approach and join this
chariot” and in Acts 10:19-20 when the Holy Spirit said to Peter, “Rise up, go
down and go with them.” These are inner urgings. The second kind of leading
is an inner forbidding, as mentioned in Acts 16:6-7: “Having been forbidden
by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. And when they had come to
Mysia, they tried to go into Bithynia, yet the Spirit of Jesus did not allow
them.” This is the inner forbidding. The story of the “householder within” is
a case of inner forbidding.

In order to know God’s will, a new believer should be somewhat familiar with
the inner sense. The Spirit of God dwells in the innermost part of man.
Hence, the feeling of the Spirit is not something shallow or outward; it issues
from the deepest part of man’s being. It is a voice that is not quite a voice, a
feeling that is not quite a feeling. The Spirit of God within shows us whether
something is according to His will. Provided we have the divine life within,
we will feel right when we act according to this life, and we will feel terrible
and uneasy within if we disobey and deviate slightly from this life. A believer
should live a life that yields to this life. We must not do things that will take
away our inner peace. Whenever we sense any unrest, we should realize that
the Holy Spirit within is displeased with what we are doing; He is grieved. If
we do something that is contrary to the Lord, we will surely have no peace
within. The more we go ahead with it, the less peace and joy we will have. If
something is of the Lord, spontaneously we will have peace and joy.

However, do not overanalyze your inward feelings. If you keep analyzing

whether or not something is right, you will be totally confused. Some people
continue to ask what the feeling of the Holy Spirit is and what the feeling of
the soul is. They are always analyzing whether something is right or wrong.
This is very unhealthy; it is actually a spiritual sickness. It is very difficult to
bring a self-analyzing person back to the proper path. I hope that you can
avoid such a trap. Actually, a person analyzes only because he does not have
enough light. If he has enough light, everything will be clear to him
spontaneously, and he will not need to waste his energy on such analysis. If
a person is sincere in trying to obey the Lord, it will be very easy for him to
sense the inner leading.

C. The Teachings of the Scripture

God’s will is not only revealed through the environment and made known
through the indwelling Spirit; it is also revealed to us through the Bible.

God’s will never changes. His will is revealed through the various experiences
of men of the past, and all these things were recorded in the Bible. God’s will
is revealed in the form of principles and examples in the Bible. To know God’s
will, one must study the Bible carefully. The Bible is not a book of simple
records, but a book rich in content. God’s will is fully unveiled through the
Scripture. One needs only to find what God has said in the past, and he will
know what God’s will is today. God’s will never wavers. In Christ there is only
one yes (2 Cor. 1:19). God’s will for us never contradicts the teachings of the
Bible. The Holy Spirit will never lead us to do something today that He has
already condemned in the Bible.

God’s word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path (Psa. 119:105). If we
want to understand God’s will and His leading for us, we must study the Bible
carefully and seriously.

God speaks to us through the Bible in two ways: One is through the teaching
of biblical principles, and the other is through the promises in the Bible. We
need the Spirit’s enlightenment to understand biblical principles, and we
need the Spirit’s leading to receive biblical promises. For example, the Spirit
may speak to us through the Lord’s commandment in Matthew 28:19-20 that
all Christians should preach the gospel. This teaching is a biblical principle.
However, whether or not it is God’s will for you to go to a certain place to
preach the gospel depends on the leading of the Spirit. You still have to pray
much and ask God for a specific word. When the Holy Spirit puts a certain
phrase or verse within you in a powerful, fresh, and living way, you have a
promise from the Spirit. This is how you identify God’s will.

Some believers use superstitious ways to seek God’s will. They open the Bible
before them and pray, “O God, please move my finger to the verse which
reveals Your will.” After they pray with their eyes closed, they open their
Bible and point their finger to any passage. Then they open their eyes and
take the verse before them as God’s will. Some childish believers try to know
God this way. Because they are desperate, God will sometimes accommodate
their ignorance and show them the way. However, this is definitely not the
proper way. It will not work with most people, and it will not work most of
the time. It is dangerous, and there is a great possibility for mistakes with
this way. Brothers and sisters, please remember that we have the divine life
and that God’s Spirit is dwelling in us. We should ask God to reveal His word
to us through the Holy Spirit. We should study the Bible conscientiously and
consistently and memorize the Scripture well. When needs arise, the Holy
Spirit will use the passages we have read to speak to us and to guide us.

Let us now combine the three things spoken of above. There is no fixed order
for these three things. Sometimes, the arrangement of the environment
comes first, followed by the leading of the Spirit and the teachings of the
Bible. Sometimes, the Spirit’s leading and the teachings of the Bible come
first, and afterward, the confirmation in the environment. The environment
is related especially to God’s timing. In seeking after God’s will, Brother
George Müller always asked three questions: (1) Is it God’s work? (2) Am I
the person to do this work? (3) Is this God’s time for such a work to be done?
The first and second questions can be resolved by the teaching of the Bible
and the leading of the Spirit. The third question is settled by provisions in
the environment.

If we want to be sure that our inward feeling is the leading of the Spirit, we
should also ask two questions: (1) Does this leading match the teaching of
the Bible? (2) Does the environment confirm this leading? If such a leading
does not match the teaching of the Bible, it cannot be God’s will. If the
environment does not give any confirmation, we should wait. Our feeling
may be wrong, or it may not be the Lord’s timing.

In seeking God’s will, we should cultivate a healthy fear of making mistakes.

We should not be subjective. We can ask God to block the ways that are not
according to His will.

Suppose someone has invited you to work, and you have the intention to do
a certain thing, or someone has advised you to reconsider your future, etc.
How can you know whether these things are according to God’s will? First,
you should look at the teaching of the Bible. You should find out what God
has actually said about such matters in His Word. After this, you should
check with your inner feeling. The Bible may teach this, but do you feel right
within? If your inward feeling is different from the testimony of the Bible, it
proves that your inward feeling is not reliable. You should continue to wait
and seek the Lord. If your inward leading agrees with the testimony of the
Bible, you should lift up your head and say, “O Lord, You have always
revealed Your will through the environment. It is impossible for my inward
feeling and the teaching of the Bible to both point to one direction, and yet
have the environment point to a contrary direction. Lord! Please work in the
environment and line it up with the Scripture’s teaching and the Spirit’s
leading.” You will see that God always reveals His will through the
environment. Not one sparrow will fall to the earth if it is not God’s will. If it
is God’s will, what you see outwardly will surely line up with what you see
inwardly and what you see from the Bible. If your inward sense, the teaching
of the Bible, and the environment are all clear, then God’s will for you will
also be clear.

III. THE CONFIRMATION OF THE CHURCH

AND OTHER FACTORS
God’s will is revealed through His Word, man’s spirit, and the environment.
God’s will is also revealed through the church. In seeking God’s will
concerning a certain matter, you should be clear about the Spirit’s leading,
the Scripture’s teaching, and the environment’s provision. As much as it is
possible, you should also fellowship with those who know God in the church
to see whether they will say amen to your guidance. This will give you
additional confirmation concerning God’s will. These ones know God’s Word
more, their flesh has been dealt with somewhat, and they are under the
direction of the Spirit. Their spiritual condition allows God to speak His heart
more freely through them. They will consider your condition in the church,
and they will sense whether or not they can say amen to what you have seen.
If they can say amen, you can be sure that what you have is God’s will. If they
cannot say amen to it, it is better for you to wait and seek more guidance. As
individuals, we are limited. An individual’s personal feeling, understanding
of the Scripture, and knowledge of the environment may be wrong; they may
not be that accurate. The church is much more reliable in this respect. If the
other members of the church think that the “guidance” you have is not
reliable, you should not insist on your opinion. Do not think that your
“guidance” is always reliable. In such cases we should learn to be humble.

Matthew 18 speaks of the principle of the church. If a brother sins against

another brother, the offended one should speak to the offending one while
they are alone with each other. If the offending party does not want to listen,
the offended party should take with him one or two more. By the mouth of
two or three witnesses, every word may be established. If the offending party
still refuses to listen, the matter should be told to the church. In the end the
offending one has to hear the church. We have to accept the feeling of the
church. The Lord Jesus says, “Whatever you bind on the earth shall have
been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on the earth shall have been
loosed in heaven” (v. 18). Because the church is God’s habitation and the
beacon of God’s light, we need to believe that God’s will is revealed in the
church. We should humble ourselves and should be afraid of our own
judgment. This is why we need to fellowship with the church and receive the
supply of the Body.

The church has a heavy responsibility before God. It has to act as God’s light.
If the church is careless or if it does things loosely according to the flesh, it
will be impossible to have such a thing as the confirmation of the church. The
church can render an accurate and divine confirmation because it has
become the mouthpiece of the Holy Spirit. The church must be spiritual, and
it must allow the Spirit to preside over it before it can be used by the Spirit
to be God’s mouthpiece. The confirmation of the church does not mean a
discussion among all the brothers and sisters in the church together. It
means the speaking of a group of people who know God and who are being
led by the Spirit. For this reason, the elders taking responsibility in the
church, as well as those given to the Lord’s work, must have a certain amount
of knowledge of spiritual things. Their flesh must be dealt with to a certain
extent. They must be watchful at all times and have unceasing fellowship
with the Lord. They must be full of God’s presence and must live under the
direction of the Holy Spirit. Only then can there be accurate judgment, and
only then will the Spirit give accurate confirmation through them.

Some people may quote Galatians 1:16-17, which says that when Paul
received a revelation, he did not confer with flesh and blood, neither did he
go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before him. They think
that it is sufficient for them to be clear by themselves and that there is no
need to fellowship with the church. No doubt a person with a clear revelation
like Paul can be truly confident of what he sees. But have you received the
revelation the way Paul received his? Even Paul received the Lord’s help and
supply through other brothers. He saw the great light on the way to
Damascus, fell to the ground, and heard what the Lord said to him alone:
“Rise up and enter into the city, and it will be told to you what you must do.”
He received the laying on of hands from an obscure brother named Ananias,
and he also received the laying on of hands and the commissioning from co-
workers in the church in Antioch (Acts 9:3-6, 12; 13:1-3). The words he spoke
in Galatians 1 were to prove that the gospel announced by him was not
according to man, but that he had “received it through a revelation by Jesus
Christ” (vv. 11-12). There is no flavor of self-exaltation in such words. We
should be humble and not intractable. We must not think highly of ourselves.
The fact is that we are too far behind Paul to compare ourselves to him!
Because we are the party involved, we are clouded by our own interests and
subjectivity when we seek God’s will. It is difficult for us to see things clearly.
This is where the church comes in; it can supply us and render us much help.
This is why we should seek confirmation from the church when we are in
need.

However, we should avoid another extreme. Some Christians are too passive.
They ask the church about everything, and they want others to make
decisions for them. This is against the principle of the New Testament. We
cannot treat a group of spiritual people in the church as if they were the
prophets in the Old Testament, asking them for advice in everything. First
John 2:27 says, “And as for you, the anointing which you have received from
Him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone teach you; but as His
anointing teaches you concerning all things...” This anointing is the
indwelling Holy Spirit. We can never replace the teaching of the anointing
with the confirmation of the church. The confirmation of the church should
not be regarded in the same way as one regards the words of the prophets.
Its purpose is to confirm what we see so that we can be more assured of God’s
will. It is a protection rather than a replacement of an individual’s pursuit of
God’s will.

We should note one other point: This way of seeking God’s will should be
applied only to important matters. As to the trivial affairs of daily life, we do
not need to resort to such a method. We can make judgments according to
our common sense. Our God has not eradicated our common sense. God
wants us to make our own judgments concerning things that we can manage
with our common sense. We need to employ this method only in seeking
God’s will concerning the more important matters of our life.

In seeking God’s will, we must not fall into an abnormal state where the mind
is blank and the will is passive. Hebrews 5:14 speaks of those “who because
of practice have their faculties exercised for discriminating between both
good and evil.” We need to exercise our mind and will. We have to put our
will on God’s side and co-labor with God. It is true that we should put aside
our own will. But it is wrong to annul the function of the mind and the will,
allowing them to be passive and void of function. Many people trust only in
their intellect and not in God. This is a big mistake. But many people think
that relying on God means that one does not need to use his mind. This is
also a big mistake. When Luke wrote his gospel, it was “carefully
investigated” (1:3). In Romans 12:2 Paul told us to “be transformed by the
renewing of the mind that you may prove what the will of God is.” In seeking
God’s will, we need to use our mind and our will. Of course, this mind and
will have to be transformed and renewed by the Holy Spirit.

We need to briefly touch on the matter of visions and dreams as well. In the
Old Testament God revealed His will to man through visions and dreams. In
the New Testament there are also visions and dreams, but God does not use
them as an essential means of guidance. In the New Testament the Spirit of
God dwells in us and speaks to us directly from within. The chief and
common means of guidance are the inward leading. God will lead us by
dreams and visions only when He has something very important to say and
it would not be easy for us to accept this leading under normal circumstances.
In the New Testament visions and dreams are not the usual means of God’s
leading. Therefore, even when we have visions and dreams, we should still
safeguard ourselves by seeking the inward confirmation and the
confirmation in the environment. For example, Acts 10 shows us that God
wanted Peter to preach the gospel to the Gentiles. Peter, being a Jew, would
never go to the Gentiles according to his tradition. In order to turn him from
this prejudice, God had to show him a vision. After Peter saw the vision,
Cornelius sent three men to him. This was the confirmation in the
environment. At the same time there was also the speaking of the Holy Spirit.
These internal and environmental confirmations assured him that he was
acting according to God’s will.

Of course, there are cases when one has little time to consider or wait. At
such times one can prove God’s will immediately if the vision or dream is
clear and obvious and the feeling within approves it; there is no need to wait
for the confirmation in the environment. For example, Paul was in a trance
when he was praying in the temple. He saw the Lord speaking to him and
charging him to leave Jerusalem without delay. At first he reasoned with the
Lord and tried to refuse. But the Lord said to him again, “Go, for I will send
you forth far away to the Gentiles” (Acts 22:17-21). Later, Paul met a heavy
storm at sea, and all hope of salvation was gone. God sent His angel to stand
beside him and speak to him, telling him not to fear (27:23-24). These were
all clear visions. But they do not occur frequently in the New Testament. God
revealed things to His children in visions and dreams only when there was a
special need. Some Christians have so many so-called dreams and visions
that these are like everyday meals to them. This is a kind of spiritual sickness.
It may come from some kind of nervous disorder, attack from Satan, or
deception from evil spirits. Whatever the cause, this situation is abnormal.

In conclusion, God leads men by many ways. Everyone is different in his

spiritual condition and needs. This is why God leads us in different ways.
However, His main means are the arrangement in the environment, the
inward leading, and the teachings in the Bible. We need to point out once
again that when these three things are in line with one another, we can have
the confidence that we have God’s will.

IV. THOSE WHO ARE QUALIFIED TO KNOW GOD’S WILL

Finally, even if we have all the right methods, not everyone knows God’s will.
A right method is useful only when the person is also right. When the person
is not right, even the right methods become useless. It is futile for a rebellious
man to seek to know God’s will. If a man wants to know God’s will, he must
have an inward yearning to do His will.
Deuteronomy 15:17 records the case of a slave who had his ear run through
with an awl into the door. This shows that our ears have to listen to God’s
word all the time if we are to serve Him. We should come to the Lord and
say, “I am willing to thrust my ear to the door. I will incline my ears to Your
word. I want to serve You and do Your will. I beseech You from my heart. I
will serve You. You are my Master. I have an earnest yearning within my
heart to be Your slave. Let me hear Your word. Let me know Your will.” We
need to come before the Lord and plead for His word. We have to incline our
ears and thrust them to the door. We have to wait for His commission and
listen to His command.

Many times my heart aches over the fact that many people are looking for
methods to know God’s will, but they have no desire to obey God’s will. They
merely study such methods for the sake of knowledge. They have their own
desires. They merely take God as their counselor and His will as their
reference point. Brothers and sisters, God’s will is made known only to those
who are determined to obey His will! “If anyone resolves to do His will, he
will know” (John 7:17). In order to know God’s will, one must resolve to do
His will. If you have an intense and absolute desire to do God’s will, God will
make known His will to you even when you know nothing about the methods.
There is a word in the Bible: “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro
throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong in the behalf of them
whose heart is perfect toward Him” (2 Chron. 16:9). The literal translation of
this verse is, “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole
earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is completely
inclined towards Him.” His eyes are running to and fro, from here to there.
His eyes do not run through just once. Rather, they run continually to and
fro to see whether anyone’s heart is after His will. He will appear to those
whose heart is completely inclined toward Him. If your heart is completely
inclined toward the Lord and you say, “Lord, I want Your will; I really want
it,” God will show you His will. He will not refrain from revealing Himself to
you; He has to reveal Himself to you. We should not think that only those
who have believed in the Lord for a long time can understand His will. We
hope that every believer will offer up everything he has from the day that he
is saved. This will pave the way for him to understand God’s will.

We should never think that it is a trivial thing to know God’s will. We are
little worms in God’s eyes. It is a tremendous thing for a tiny person like us
to understand God’s will! May we see that it is a glorious thing to understand
God’s will. Since God has humbled Himself to make His will known to man,
we must seek to know His will, and we must worship, treasure, and do His
will.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
MANAGING ONE’S FINANCES
Scripture Reading: Luke 6:38; 1 Tim. 6:7-10, 17-19; 2 Cor. 9:6; Mal.
3:10; Prov. 11:24; Phil. 4:15-19
I. MANAGING ACCORDING TO GOD’S PRINCIPLES
In this chapter we will cover monetary offering and giving. After a person has
sold everything, he will still receive income; money will still find its way back
to his hand. How should he manage his money? Even after a person has
offered up all of his money, we should not think that money will no longer
have an influence on him. Some people can give away their money all at once,
but money can gradually regain its power over them. Eventually, they will
consider their money to be their own once again. Therefore, a believer must
learn to continually let go of his money.

The Christian way of managing wealth is completely different from that of an

unbeliever. The Christian way of financial management is the way of giving.
The unbeliever’s way is the way of accumulating. Today we are concerned
with how a Christian should live in order to be free from want. God has
promised us that we will have no lack on earth. The birds of the air have no
lack of food, and the flowers of the field have no lack of clothing. Even so
God’s children should have no lack of clothing and food. If they have any lack,
there must be a reason or cause for it. If a brother is financially hard-pressed,
he is not managing his wealth according to God’s principle.

After you have forsaken all of your possessions to follow the Lord, you should
walk according to God’s principle. If you do not follow God’s principle, you
will eventually end up in poverty. There is a great need for many of God’s
children to learn to manage their wealth. If they do not learn to manage their
wealth, they should expect nothing except hardship in the way ahead of
them. Today we want to consider the way to attain God’s prosperity.

II. GOD’S PROVISION BEING CONDITIONAL

As believers we have to look to the Lord for our food, clothing, and other
needs while we live on earth today. Without God’s mercy, we cannot pass
through our days on earth. This is true even for the rich ones; they have to
look to the Lord also. During World War II, we saw many rich people
stripped of clothing and food. One day many people will be in remorse over
their wealth. Paul warned us not to depend on unpredictable riches. A greedy
person is always an anxious person. Those who trust in the Lord may not
have much in the way of savings, but the Lord will not leave them in
difficulties. He can supply all their needs. However, we must also realize that
God’s supply is with conditions.

If God can feed the birds in the air, He can keep us alive. In reality, no one
can feed all the birds or supply enough fertilizer to grow all the lilies of the
field. But God has enough riches to keep the birds of the air and the lilies of
the field alive. He also has enough riches to keep His children alive. God does
not want to see us come short in anything. He does not want our living to be
deprived in any way. Everyone who falls into deprivation falls because he has
a problem in himself; he has not managed his wealth according to God’s way.
If we manage our money according to God’s law, we will not be in poverty.

Let us read Luke 6:38. This portion of the Word describes the type of person
God will supply. God is always willing to supply. When He supplies us, the
supply can come in such abundance that it comes out of our mouth and even
becomes loathsome to us, as described in Exodus. God has no problem in
doing such a thing. We should never think that God is poor. The cattle upon
a thousand hills are His, and the goats upon ten thousand hills are His. If
everything belongs to Him, why are God’s children poor? Why do His
children experience lack? It is not because God cannot supply. Rather, we
need to meet His requirements before we can receive His supply. We need to
meet certain conditions before our prayers can be answered. Even our
salvation had certain requirements to it—we had to believe. Every promise
has conditions, and we must fulfill these conditions before we can receive the
promise. Likewise, we need to fulfill God’s requirements before we can
receive His supply. His requirement is to give. The Lord says, “Give, and it
will be given to you.”

III. GIVE, AND IT WILL BE GIVEN

I have seen a few brothers and sisters who fell into dire need because they
were unfaithful in the matter of giving. They were not actually lacking in
income. The Bible shows us a fundamental principle—one must give to
become rich and one becomes poor by accumulating riches. Whoever cares
only for himself is destined to be in poverty. Whoever learns to give is
destined to have riches. God’s Word says it, and it is true. If we want to escape
poverty, we have to give again and again. The more we give, the more God
will give to us. Since we are willing to share our surplus with others, others
will also be happy to share their surplus with us in the future. If we give one-
twentieth to others, others will also give one-twentieth to us. If we give one-
thousandth to others, others will also give one-thousandth to us.

With what measure we measure to others, with the same measure others will
measure to us. In what capacity we treat our brothers and sisters, with the
same capacity God will treat us. If we are willing to sacrifice our livelihood,
others will also sacrifice their livelihood for us. If we only give others that
which is totally useless, things which we never use, others will certainly give
us totally useless and unusable things. Many people have problems with their
income because they have problems with their giving. If a person has no
problem with his giving, it is hard to imagine that he will have problems with
his income. God’s Word is quite clear. If we give to others, the Lord will give
to us. If we do not give to others, the Lord will not give to us. Most people
only exercise faith when they ask God for money; they do not exercise faith
in giving money. It is no wonder that they have no faith to receive anything
from God.

Brothers, as soon as we become Christians, we have to learn the basic lesson

of financial stewardship. Christians have a unique way of managing their
wealth: What we receive depends on what we give. In other words, the
Christian way of financial stewardship is to receive according to what we
give. Worldly people give according to what they have received, but we
receive according to what we give. Our inflow depends on our outflow. Those
who crave money and cling to it can never receive God’s money; they will
never receive any supply from God.

We should all look to the Lord for our needs, but God will supply the needs
of only one type of people—those who give. The words good measure, which
the Lord uses in Luke 6:38, are wonderful words. When God gives to man,
He is never stingy. He is ever generous and overflowing. Our God is always
generous. Our God’s cup is always running over. God is never petty. When
He gives, He says that it will be a good measure, pressed down, and shaken
together. Consider the way in which we buy rice. Most rice merchants will
not let us shake the measure. They do not allow the rice to settle before
pouring it out. But the Lord said, “Pressed down, shaken together.” Not only
so, it is “running over.” Our God is such a generous God. He gives by pressing
down, shaking together, heaping up, and running over. However, He also
says that with what measure we measure to others, it will be measured to us
in return. If we are shrewd and exact in giving to others, God will only touch
others to give to us in a shrewd and exact way.

We must give first to others, before others will give to us. Most people never
learn to give. They always want God to answer their prayers. We have to give
first before we can receive. If we have not received anything recently, it
means that we have a problem in giving. I have been a Christian for more
than twenty years, and I can surely bear witness to this principle. Whenever
a person has a problem with his giving, he will experience a lack.

IV. TWO TESTIMONIES CONCERNING

FINANCIAL STEWARDSHIP
A. Handley Moule’s Story
Handley C. G. Moule of England was the chief editor of the magazine Life
and Faith. He was a great man before the Lord in many ways. One of his
outstanding achievements was his knowledge of the Bible. He trusted in the
Lord for his living. Throughout his life, he experienced wants and trials many
times, but because he knew Luke 6:38, he would tell his wife whenever he
was in need, “There must be something wrong with our giving lately.” He did
not speak of the need in his house. Instead, his thoughts were on his giving.

Once his house was almost empty of everything. He did not even have flour,
the main staple of the English diet. He waited for two days, but no one
brought him anything. He then told his wife, “There must be something in
our house that we do not need.” He did not ask the Lord for flour. Instead he
said, “There must be something excessive in our house. This is why the Lord
does not give.” They knelt and prayed and asked the Lord to show them any
excess they had in the house. After praying, they looked through every item.
They began with the attic, checking to see whether or not a particular item
was redundant. They even went through their children’s belongings and
found that they had just enough of what they needed. Mr. Moule then told
the Lord, “There is truly nothing excessive in this house. Lord, You have
made a mistake in not supplying us with what we need.” After a brief pause,
he told his wife, “The Lord never makes mistakes. There has to be some
excess in our house.” They checked again. When they came to the cellar, they
saw a carton of butter, which had been given to them many days earlier. Mr.
Moule was happy when he saw the carton. He told his wife, “This must be the
excess.”
Both of them were rather elderly. They had for many years learned the lesson
of giving. They knew the Lord’s words: “Give, and it will be given to you.”
They were anxious to give away the carton of butter. But who should they
give it to? Mr. Moule was a responsible brother in his church. After looking
down the list of brothers and sisters who were poor, he decided to give every
one of them a piece. The old couple cut the carton of butter into small pieces,
wrapped them up, and sent them to these brothers and sisters. After sending
out all the packets, he told his wife, “Now, we have cleared up this matter.”
They then knelt down and prayed, “Lord, may we remind You of what You
have said: ‘Give, and it will be given to you.’ Please remember that we have
no more flour.”

That was perhaps a Saturday. Among those who had received the butter,
there was a very poor sister who had been paralyzed and bed-ridden for
years. For days, she had been eating her bread without butter and had been
praying, “Lord, have mercy on me. Give me a little butter.” Soon after this
prayer, Mr. Moule came with the butter. She immediately thanked the Lord
for this. A while later, she lifted up her head and prayed again, “Lord,
although Brother Moule lacks nothing and has given me this butter, hear his
prayer if he has any lack.” Brother Moule had not told anyone about his lack,
and no one knew about it. Some even rumored that Moule was a very rich
brother, that he always gave things away, and that he had bought all that
butter purposely to distribute to others. But this sister prayed, “If he has any
lack, please answer his prayer.” On that same day, probably within two or
three hours, Mr. Moule received two sacks of flour. His problem was solved.

We have to believe in every word of the Lord. Most people have difficulty
taking God’s Word as God’s word. Mr. Moule believed God’s Word to be
God’s word. If you do not give, you definitely will not receive. If you give to
others, others will surely give to you. This is why we need to learn to give.
Giving is not the end; it enables God to give to us. This is the principle of
Christian financial stewardship. Do not expect God to supply you with
anything if there is excess in your house.

A co-worker once told me, “During the past twenty years, every time money
has remained in my hand, there has always been a problem.” If there is a
problem in giving, there will be a problem in receiving. The more you want
to keep, the less you will have. The more you want to give, the more you will
have. Most people hold on tightly to all that they have, and so God lets them
hold on to that little amount. They have not learned to give. If the grace of
giving is not in you, the grace of God will not be upon you. If you do not have
grace for others, you will have little of God’s grace for yourself.

B. Learning the First Lesson of Giving

I can give you many testimonies concerning giving. But I do not wish to do
so. I will just speak about my first lesson in this matter. In 1923 Brother
Weigh Kwang-hsi invited me to his place, Kien-ou, which was about one
hundred fifty miles from Foochow. I was a student, and Brother Weigh was
my classmate. When I was about to leave for Kien-ou, I asked Brother Weigh,
“How much is the fare?” He said, “The fare by boat is several dozen dollars.”
I then said, “Let me pray about this. If the Lord wants me to go, I will go.”

At that time I did not have any money in my hand. I prayed, “If You want me
to go, You must provide me the money.” After praying this way, the Lord gave
me between ten and twenty dollars. In addition, I had more than a hundred
silver dimes. But the total amount still fell short of the fare by more than half.
Not long after this, Brother Weigh wrote me a letter and told me that
everything was ready. I sent him a telegram and told him that I would go. I
decided to leave on Friday. On Thursday I rose up early, and the word came
to me: “Give, and it will be given to you.” I was unsure within. If I gave my
money to others and the Lord did not give any back, I would then not be able
to go. I was quite troubled.

However, my feeling within grew stronger and stronger. I felt that I should
give the dollars and keep the coins. Therefore, I thought about who should
be given the money. Eventually, I had the thought of giving the dollars to a
certain brother who had a family. I dared not tell the Lord that I would obey,
and I dared not tell the Lord that I would disobey either. I just said, “Lord, I
am here. If You want me to give to this brother, please let me meet him on
my way.” I rose up and walked out of the house. Along the way I met the
brother. As soon as I saw him, my heart sank. But I was prepared. I went over
to him and said, “Brother, the Lord has told me to place this in your hands.”
After I said this, I turned around and left. When I was two steps away from
him, my tears began to roll down. I said, “I have sent a telegram to Brother
Weigh that I would go. Now the money is gone. How can I go?” But I also felt
very happy within because the Lord said, “Give, and it will be given to you.”

On my way home I said to the Lord, “Lord, You need to give to me. The time
is short, and the boat is leaving tomorrow.” No money came on Thursday. On
Friday when I was about to leave, there was still no money. A brother came
to send me off. But there was still no money. The brother took me aboard the
boat. As soon as I stepped aboard the boat, I thought to myself, “I cannot go.
I will never make it. I have never left Foochow before, and I have never gone
inland. I do not know a single person west of Foochow.” I had been praying
since I left home that day. When I went aboard the boat I was still praying. I
prayed until the brother left, and even until I laid down to sleep. I said, “Lord,
I have given to others. Yet You have not given to me in return. It is now Your
business.” That day the boat took me to Hung-Shan Bridge, where I changed
boats to Shui-Kou. While on board, I paced back and forth from the upper
deck to the lower deck several times, thinking to myself, “In order for God to
provide for me, I should make it easier for Him by walking around a few more
times to see if He has arranged for me to meet someone.” But this did not
work out, and I did not find anyone whom I knew on the boat. Nevertheless,
I repeated to myself, “Give, and it will be given to you.”

This went on until the next day. At about four or five o’clock, the boat was
about to reach Shui-Kou. After Shui-Kou, I had to change transportation
again for a more expensive ship. After I paid the boat fare, I found out that I
had only a little more than seventy dimes left. I was troubled, and I prayed,
“Lord, I am now in Shui-Kou. Should I buy a ticket to return to Foochow?”
Right then I resolved in my mind to simply go to Kien-ou and leave the rest
to the Lord. I said, “Lord, I will not ask for money as long as You will take me
to Kien-ou.” After praying this way, I felt peaceful.

I was standing on the bow of the boat, and before the boat reached Shui-Kou,
a little boat approached and the boatman asked me, “Sir, are you going to
Nan-Ping or Kien-ou?” I said, “To Kien-ou.” He said, “I will take you there.”
I asked him how much it would cost, and he said, “Seventy dimes.” When I
heard that, I knew the Lord had prepared the way for me. I agreed to go with
him. He carried my luggage to his boat. The regular fare to Kien-ou was
seventy or eighty dollars. I asked him, “Why are you letting me go so
cheaply?” He replied, “The fare is so cheap because this boat has been
chartered by a county officer. He is in the front cabin of the boat, and he has
given me permission to carry another passenger so that I can earn some
money to supplement my food.” I clearly remember that day; I bought some
vegetables and meat with the little money that was left and arrived at Kien-
ou safely.

As the time for my return from Kien-ou grew near, I was once again in a
quandary. I had only twelve dimes left. After spending about a dollar on
shopping, I had only twenty cents left. I kept praying as the conference was
coming to an end. One day Mr. Philips, one of the famous Cambridge Seven,
invited me for a meal. He said, “Mr. Nee, we have been greatly helped by your
visit. Is it all right for me to take care of the traveling expenses of your return
trip?” When I heard this, I was overjoyed. But I felt it was not proper for me
to accept the offer. I said, “Someone has already taken care of it.” When he
heard this, he said, “I am sorry to hear that,” and did not mention the matter
again. When I returned home, I regretted very much turning down the offer.
But when I prayed I had peace within.

I waited for another day. On the third day, as I was getting ready to leave, I
only had twenty cents in my pocket. This was not enough for the ticket. I was
really in a dilemma. Brother Weigh’s father and family all came to see me off.
My luggage had already been taken away by the porter, and Brother Weigh
was walking with me. I prayed, “Lord, You have brought me to Kien-ou. You
have to bring me back home. It is Your responsibility and You cannot leave
it to others. If I have committed any mistake, I am willing to confess it. But I
do not believe that I have done anything wrong.” I kept saying, “This is Your
responsibility because You have said, ‘Give, and it will be given to you.’”
Halfway to the pier, Mr. Philips sent someone to me with a letter. I opened
the letter, and it said, “I know someone is responsible for your fare. But God
has impressed upon me that I should share your expenses. Please allow an
elderly brother to have a little share in this and accept this small sum.” I took
the money and said to the Lord, “God, this has come right on time.” I paid
the fare with the money, and I still remember that there was enough money
to print another issue of The Present Testimony when I returned home.

Upon my return I looked up my co-worker. As soon as I entered his house,

his wife said, “Mr. Nee, when you left Foochow, why did you give my husband
twenty dollars? Why did you walk away immediately after handing him the
money?” I said, “There was only one reason: I had prayed for a whole day,
and the Lord told me to give it to him. When I left my house and met him on
the way, I simply gave him the money.” She said, “That night we only had
enough for one last meal. When your money came, we bought a load of rice
and many pounds of firewood. The Lord did not supply us any more money
until a few days ago. We had prayed and waited for three days on that
occasion.” I left without telling her my story. As I was walking down the hill,
I said within myself, “It was good that I did not keep the twenty dollars for
myself. The money would have died if I had kept it in my pocket. But now
that it has been given away, it has become useful.” I lifted up my head then
and told the Lord, “This is the first time I have understood Luke 6:38.” I
consecrated myself to the Lord once again and said, “From this day forward,
I will give. I will not let a single cent remain idle in my hand.”

I only wish I could give more money so that it would work more miracles for
the Lord. I would give money so that the prayers of others may be answered.
I do not wish to hold on to my money, letting it remain idle and useless. I
dare not brag about my experience in giving. Perhaps I have given a little
more than others. Perhaps I have also received a little more than others. But
this I can say: In the whole of China, it is hard to find another person who
has received as much and given away as much as I have. You may take this
as a word from “a fool” (2 Cor. 11:23, KJV). I would rather let my money work
miracles and let it become answers to prayers, than see it remain idle and
become useless. If I have no use for it today, I will give it away. When I have
a need, it will come back, and when it comes back, it will come back more
than what I gave.

A new believer must learn to manage his finances from the very beginning. I
do not like to tell many stories about myself. However, I must testify that
since 1923, I am behind no one in China with respect to using my last dollar.
The Lord said, “Give, and it will be given to you.” I am learning this
constantly. As I give to others, the Lord meets my needs. I am convinced that
a man will only receive when he gives. Time and again, I find that when I give
liberally, the Lord liberally gives to me. I do not mind having the reputation
of being rich. It is true; I am rich, because I always give. I always let my
money go. It never stops, and when it returns to me, it is always multiplied
many times. Our God is never stingy.

V. THE CHRISTIAN WAY OF FINANCIAL MANAGEMENT

The Christian way of managing money is not to hold on to money. The tighter
you hold on to your money, the more it dies. The more you grasp it, the more
it disappears; it will evaporate like vapor. But the more you give away, the
more you will have. If God’s children would learn to give more, God would
have many ways to work out His miracles. Keeping back money only makes
God’s children poor. God will not entrust Himself to those who hold on to
their money and who will not give. The more you give, the more God will give
to you.

A. Sowing with One’s Money

Please read 2 Corinthians 9:6, which says, “He who sows sparingly shall also
sparingly reap; and he who sows with blessings shall also with blessings
reap.” This is also a scriptural principle of financial management. When
Christians give, they are not throwing their money away; they are sowing.
The Word does not say, “He who throws away his money sparingly shall also
sparingly reap; and he who throws away his money with blessings shall also
with blessings reap.” It says, “He who sows sparingly shall also sparingly
reap; and he who sows with blessings shall also with blessings reap.” When
you give, you are sowing. Do you want your money to grow? If you do, you
need to sow. When you give your money away, it grows. When you do not
give it away, it does not grow.

Brothers and sisters, can anyone be so foolish as to expect a harvest without

sowing? How many times has God not answered your prayer for your needs?
You are a “hard man,” trying to reap where you have not sown and gather
where you have not winnowed. This is impossible. Why do you not sow some
of your money? There are many brothers and sisters who are in difficulty.
Why do you not sow money upon them so that you may reap when the
reaping time comes? The more a person holds on to his money, the less he
will have. In the above portion of the Word, we see a very beautiful picture.
The Corinthians gave to those in Jerusalem, remembering their needs, and
Paul said that it was a kind of sowing, not a kind of throwing away. Please
remember that money can be our seeds. If you see a brother or sister in
difficulty, and you remember him or her, God will cause that money to grow
and harvest thirtyfold, sixtyfold, and even a hundredfold. I hope that more
of your money will be sown.

A new believer should learn to sow, so that when he has needs, he can reap
what he has sown. You cannot reap what you have not sown. There are many
brothers who are getting poorer and poorer. If you eat what you have, of
course, there will not be anything left. But if you keep half of your seed for
sowing, you will have a harvest next year. If next year you also keep half for
planting, you will have another harvest the following year. If you want to sow
anything, you must not eat all that you have. Some people always eat and
never sow. They also never receive anything when they are in need. Suppose
some young brothers sow some money upon other brothers, praying as they
sow, “O God, I have sown upon the brothers. When I have needs, I want to
harvest.” If they do this, God will honor His own words.

B. Offering to God
This is not all. In the Old Testament, God said to the Israelites, “Bring the
whole tithe to the storehouse that there may be food in My house; and prove
Me, if you will, by this, says Jehovah of hosts, whether I will open to you the
windows of heaven and pour out blessing for you until there is no room for
it” (Mal. 3:10). Here we see the same principle.

At that time, the Israelites were in great poverty and difficulty. How could
they carry out the words of Malachi 3:10? The Israelites might have asked,
“If we cannot get by with ten loads of rice, how can we get by with nine? If
ten bags of flour are insufficient, how can nine bags be sufficient?” These are
words out of a carnal and foolish mouth. God reproached the people and told
them that what is impossible with man is possible with God. He seemed to
be saying, “Bring to My storehouse, and test Me if I will not open for you the
windows of heaven and pour out for you a blessing that there shall not be
enough room to receive it.”

Ten loads are the reason for poverty, while nine loads are the cause for
abundance. Man thinks that the more he has in his hand, the better off he
will be. However, keeping things in one’s hand is the very cause for poverty,
while offering things to God is the very cause for blessing. If I have an
additional load in my hands, it will become my curse. But if it is put in God’s
storehouse, it becomes my blessing. The principle with the Israelites was
poverty for those who tried to hold back what was due to God. When you hold
something back, you end up in poverty.

C. Scattering Money
Now read Proverbs 11:24: “There is that scattereth, and yet increaseth; / and
there is that withholdeth more than is meet, but it tendeth to poverty.” Many
people have not scattered, and they are left with nothing. Many people have
scattered, and they become prosperous. This is what God’s Word shows us.
This is the Christian principle of managing finances.

D. Giving All for God

Consider another wonderful portion of the Word—Elijah’s prayer for rain on
Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18). There was a drought, and it was so dry that even
the king and his chamberlains had to go out to search for water. Elijah was
repairing the altar on the mountain. He wanted to offer a sacrifice, and he
asked men to pour water on the altar and the sacrifice.

How precious was water at that time! Even the king had to go out to look for
water. But Elijah told the men to pour out the water. He told them to pour it
three times until the water ran round about the altar like a river. Was it not
a waste to pour out so much water before any rain came? Would it not have
been a pity if no rain came after they poured out so much water? But Elijah
told them to bring jars of water and pour them out. Next he knelt down and
asked God to send fire to burn the sacrifice. God heard his prayer, received
the sacrifice by fire, and sent the rain. We must first pour the water out before
rain will come. The rain will not come if we are reluctant to pour out the
water.

The problem of many people is that they hold on tightly to what they have
and yet expect God to answer their prayers. Although God wanted to dispel
the drought, man had to pour out the water first. The human thought is
always to have some backup. If no rain came, at least there would be some
jars of water. But those who count the jars of water on hand will never see
rain. To see the rain, one must be like Elijah, willing to part with the water
that is on hand. Everything has to go. If new believers are not delivered from
the power and grip of money, the church will never be able to run a straight
course. I hope that you will be a consecrated person and will offer up
everything you have for God.

E. The Promise of Supply

Philippians 4:19 is a very special verse. The Corinthians were parsimonious
in giving, while the Philippians were very generous. Paul received from the
Philippians time and again. He told the Philippians, “My God will fill your
every need according to His riches, in glory, in Christ Jesus.” Do you see
something special in Philippians 4? Paul emphasized, “My Godwill fill your
every need.” The God who receives the money and the gifts will supply the
needs of the givers.

This is very clear. The Philippians had been caring for Paul again and again,
and Paul’s God supplied their needs. God will never supply those who do not
give. Today many people hold on to Philippians 4:19, but they do not really
understand it, because God does not supply those who ask, but those who
give. Only those who give can claim Philippians 4:19. Those who do not give
cannot claim this promise. You must give before you can say, “O God, today
supply all my needs according to Your riches in Christ Jesus.” God supplied
all the needs for only the Philippians. God will only supply the needs of those
who are practicing the principle of giving.

When your vessel is empty of flour and when your bottle is empty of oil,
please remember that you must first make bread for Elijah with what little
you have left. You must first feed God’s servant. Take the little oil and flour
and make bread for the prophet first. After a while, this little flour and oil
will feed you for three and a half years. Who has ever heard of a bottle of oil
feeding a person for three and a half years? But let me tell you, if you take
your little flour and oil and make bread for the prophet, you will find the
bottle of oil feeding you for three and a half years (cf. Luke 4:25-26; 1 Kings
17:8-16). What one has may not be enough to feed him even once. But when
it is given away, it becomes the means of one’s livelihood. This is the
Christian way of financial management.

VI. LETTING GO OF OUR MONEY

Both the New Testament and the Old Testament teach us the same thing. The
Christian way should not be the way of poverty. God does not want us to be
poor. If there is poverty or want among us, it is because some people are
holding back their money. The more you love yourself, the more you will go
hungry. The more importance you attach to money, the poorer you will
become. I may not be able to testify of other things, but I can surely testify of
this one thing. The more one holds back his money, the more miserable and
depleted he becomes. This is a sure principle. During the past twenty years,
I have seen many such cases. I only wish that we could release our money
and allow it to circulate around the earth, to work, and to become part of
God’s miracles and answers to prayers. Then when we have needs, God will
supply us.

Not only are we in God’s hands, but Satan is also in His hands. The cattle on
a thousand hills and the sheep on ten thousand hills are His. Only foolish
ones think that they have earned their own money. A new believer must see
that tithing is our duty. We should give what we earn to take care of the poor
saints. Do not be so foolish as to always receive. Do not try to save up your
money or hide it away. The Christian way is the way of giving. Always give
what you have, and you will find money becoming something living in the
church. When you have any need, the birds in the air will work for you, and
God will perform miracles for you.

Cast yourself upon the Word of God. Otherwise, God cannot carry out His
word in you. First give yourself to God, and then give your money again and
again. If you do this, God will have the opportunity to give to you.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
OCCUPATION
Scripture Reading: 2 Thes. 3:10-12
Occupation is very important to a Christian. If one chooses a wrong
occupation, he will not be able to go on in a positive way. A Christian must
pay attention to the matter of choosing an occupation.

I. THE GOD-ORDAINED OCCUPATIONS

ACCORDING TO THE SCRIPTURE
A. In the Old Testament Age
After God created man, He prepared an occupation for him. God assigned
Adam and Eve the job of guarding and keeping the garden. The matter of
occupation existed before man sinned. Adam and Eve’s occupation in the
beginning was that of a gardener; they guarded and kept the garden of Eden
which God had created.

After Adam and Eve sinned, the earth no longer rendered service to them.
They had to eat in the sweat of their face and till the ground so they could eat
(Gen. 3:17-19). This shows us clearly that after man’s fall, his God-ordained
occupation was to be a farmer and to till the ground. Man has to till the
ground in the sweat of his face in order for the earth to yield food to him. To
this day farmers are still the most honest kind of people. In the beginning
God ordained man to till the ground.

In Genesis 4 Cain was a tiller of the ground and Abel was a keeper of sheep.
Here sheep farming came in. This shows us that shepherding is also an
occupation that is acceptable to God.

After this, when men began to multiply on the earth, there arose all kinds of
craftsmen. There were blacksmiths, coppersmiths, makers of musical
instruments, and artificers in brass and iron (4:21-22). By the time of the
tower of Babel, there were bricklayers and carpenters (11:3-4). (Although
building the tower of Babel was wrong, men were nevertheless learning to
build. Hence the coppersmith, blacksmith, maker of musical instruments,
and craftsman are all proper occupations.)

In Genesis 12 God chose Abraham. He was a herdsman. He had many cattle

and sheep. Jacob also had flocks of cattle and sheep. This shows that their
main occupation was animal husbandry.

When the Israelites were in Egypt, they worked as craftsmen, burning bricks
for Pharaoh. But after they came out of Egypt, God promised them a land
flowing with milk and honey. Clearly, we see two occupations: raising
livestock and farming. The grapes of the land required two people to carry
them. This proves that there was farming. God said that if the Israelites
disobeyed Him and worshipped idols, He would cause the heavens to be as
brass and the earth to be as iron; the heavens and the earth would not work
for the Israelites. This shows clearly that the occupations in the promised
land of Canaan consisted of tilling the earth and raising livestock. These were
the occupations in the Old Testament.

B. In the New Testament Age

The Lord Jesus’ parables in the Gospel of Matthew show us that farming is a
basic occupation in the New Testament age. For example, in chapter thirteen
we have the parable of the sower, and in chapter twenty we have the parable
of the vineyard. Luke 17 speaks of a slave coming back from plowing or
tending sheep in the field. In John 10 the Lord said that the good Shepherd
laid down His life for the sheep. Therefore, raising livestock and farming are
the basic God-ordained occupations for men.

The Lord called twelve apostles, most of whom were fishermen. The one who
was a tax collector was told by the Lord to drop his occupation. But it was as
if He said to the fishermen, “Once you were fishermen. But from now on, I
will make you fishers of men.” This shows that fishing is also an acceptable
occupation.

Luke was a physician, and Paul was a tentmaker. Tentmaking is different

from fishing. With tentmaking, labor is added to basic raw material. Tilling
the ground produces material directly. Making fabrics, tailoring, or making
tents add labor to raw material to manufacture finished goods.
I can only say that from the Old Testament to the New Testament, God has
arranged certain occupations. The Lord’s disciples were either farmers,
shepherds, craftsmen, fishermen, or manufacturers. If there were any other
occupations at all, the most we can include is “workmen” (not the workers
who do spiritual work), because the New Testament says, “The workman is
worthy of his pay” (1 Tim 5:18). A workman is one who labors manually or
who sells his labor. Obtaining wages by manual labor is also an acceptable
occupation in the Bible.

II. THE PRINCIPLE OF OCCUPATIONS

From these God-approved occupations in the Bible, we can see a basic
principle: Man must receive or take from nature, or he must earn his wages
in exchange for his time and labor. These are the principles of occupation
outlined in the Bible.

A. Receiving from Nature—

Increasing Abundance
The sower sows a grain of wheat into the ground. After some time it bears
many grains, a hundredfold, sixtyfold, or thirtyfold (Matt. 13:3, 8). One grain
becomes a hundred, sixty, or thirty grains. One seed is sown into the ground,
but it grows and bears many grains. This is to receive from nature. Nature is
rich in its supply, and anyone can extract from it. God causes His sun to rise
on the evil and the good and sends rain on the just and the unjust (5:45). This
clearly hints that God sends these things for the purpose of farming. God
intends for man to obtain his supply from nature. The same principle applies
to livestock farming. One raises sheep which give milk or bear many lambs.
This is an increase of production. It is something supplied by nature, not
something acquired by other means.

In the New Testament we see fishing as an occupation. Fishing takes

something from the rivers and seas. This again is to receive from nature. We
do not make anyone poorer by fishing from the rivers and the seas. We can
become rich by taking something from the rivers, and these riches will not
make anyone poor. When my sheep bears six lambs or my cow bears two
calves, no family becomes poorer because of this. When I till the ground, no
one is hungry or suffers loss because my field has brought forth grain a
hundredfold. The basic principle of a God-approved occupation is to gain
without incurring loss to anyone. This is the kind of noble occupation that
God ordains.

B. Manufacturing—Adding Value
The same principle applies to Paul’s tentmaking. He did not receive directly
from nature. Fishing, raising livestock, and farming receive from nature
directly. But Paul manufactured something by adding value to his raw
material. This increases the value of goods. A piece of fabric may cost one
dollar. When I cut it, sew it, and make a tent out of it, it costs two dollars. Its
value has increased, and my wage is the increased value of the good. I do not
make anyone poorer by receiving money from the increased value. No one
became poorer or suffered loss through Paul’s tentmaking. When I increase
the value of a piece of fabric, it is only proper that I receive my wages because
I have put in time and skill. Therefore, another principle of a God-approved
occupation is that it increases the value of goods.

C. Working for Wages

Another principle can be found in hired laborers, craftsmen, and medical
doctors. In such cases one earns his money and wages through his own labor.
This neither takes from nature nor adds value to raw materials, but one puts
in his labor, pays a price, and provides a service to receive his income. The
reward that comes as a result of one’s labor is also acceptable to God.

D. What the Bible Disapproves of—Trading

There is one occupation of which the Bible particularly disapproves. Please
pay special attention to this matter. If a new believer has the ability to choose
his profession, I hope that he will not take trading as his occupation. Why?
We should consider this matter from a broader perspective. Perhaps that will
give us a clearer picture. Suppose there are one hundred persons here and
each one has a million dollars. If we put them all together, we will have a
hundred million dollars. Suppose I begin to trade as one of them. Naturally,
I would want to make money. I would like my one million dollars to become
two million dollars. Forget for a moment how I handle my business, whether
it is done righteously or unrighteously. After a month I have two million
dollars. This means that someone must have less money. This must be the
case because there are only one hundred persons, each of whom had only one
million dollars. Even if I conducted my business in the most righteous way,
I would still have caused someone to lose money when I increased my money
to two million.
I am a Christian, and let us say that you are a Christian also. You are my
brother. Does it look good for me to make money and become richer by
making you poorer? Certainly not. Even if you are a Gentile and a heathen, I
am a Christian. I am a child of God, and I have my standing and status as a
child of God. God’s children should not cause an unbeliever to become poorer
by increasing their own money. I would feel bad even if I employed righteous
means to gain other believers’ money. I would feel equally bad if I used
righteous means to gain an unbeliever’s money. This is what it is like to
engage in trade. You cannot take money from another’s pocket and put it into
your own pocket. It does not matter how you do it. As long as you turn the
money in another’s pocket into your money, you are causing a loss to others.
This is a fact.

Of course, the basic God-approved occupations in the Bible pose no such

problem. Suppose I am a tiller of the ground, and I have harvested a hundred
loads of rice. This will not cause another brother’s possession to be reduced
from ten loads down to nine loads. I cannot cause him to have any reduction.
My hundred loads of rice will not reduce anything from anyone or cause
anyone to become poorer. This is not making money; this is increasing the
abundance of the land. We must completely differentiate between the two:
Making money and increasing the abundance are two different things
altogether. God does not want His children to make money just for the sake
of making money. God wants our occupation to increase the abundance. This
basic principle is quite clear. A new believer should not have his mind
occupied with money day and night. Do not try to constantly consider how
you can make money. Please remember that as long as you have made some
money, others have lost money. The principle of trade is that when one’s
money increases, the money of others decreases.

III. CHOOSING FROM THREE DIFFERENT

KINDS OF OCCUPATIONS
Here we see three different kinds of occupations. One is to trade, another is
to work, and the third is to produce. The highest occupation God has
ordained in the Bible is the one that produces. Since Adam, God’s eyes have
been on occupations that produce, because production increases the
abundance of the earth rather than imposing poverty on others. If I raise a
hundred sheep and after a certain number of years they have become four
hundred, I have increased by three hundred sheep. This increase does not
decrease a single dollar from any brother’s or sister’s pocket. How much
money you have at home will not change. You will not have less just because
my sheep has brought forth lambs. This is the basic scriptural principle of
occupation. I should always be increasing and should always be adding to
riches. I may sell my sheep and receive money. But in so doing, I have not
made anyone poorer.

If a new believer has the chance to choose his own occupation, I hope he will
choose one that will increase goods rather than increase his money. To
increase money but not goods is very selfish. We need to learn to increase the
things of the earth, not to increase our personal wealth. There is a great
difference between the two.

Paul’s tentmaking shows us another principle. He did not increase the

amount of cotton, silk, or fabric. But because of his cutting, sewing, effort,
and energy, he increased the value of the raw material. According to Bible
scholars, tents at that time had to be dyed. Dean Alford told us that when
Paul said, “These hands,” in Acts 20:34, he was referring to the unavoidable
stain of the dye of the tents on his hands. Paul’s tentmaking was something
that increased the value of goods.

It is good to increase the riches of the earth. It is also good to increase the
value of goods. Suppose I make a chair from a piece of wood. This is good,
because by doing so, I have increased the value of the wood. Although I have
not increased the abundance in nature, the world has one more chair through
me. The world had one more tent when Paul made a tent. This does not
benefit oneself at the expense of others. One can make a tent; he can turn a
cheap fabric into a valuable tent. Turning fabric into a tent increases the
goods of this world. This is also an occupation that is acceptable to God.

A new believer must see that there are two criteria to a proper occupation.
One must either increase the abundance of the earth or increase the value of
goods. Actually, when one makes a tent, he is also increasing the abundance
of the world. Because of the work of one’s hands, the number of tents in this
world has increased. Therefore, it is also right to say that this increases the
abundance of the world. This is the basic principle of God’s ordained
occupations for men.

IV. AVOIDING PURE COMMERCE

I have studied economics a little. I know that there is the need for commerce.
But I am a Christian; I am not an economist. While the Lord Jesus did say
that we needed to do business until He comes (Luke 19:13), that verse means
that we should give ourselves to our work like a businessman giving himself
to his business. We know that a businessman has to devote himself to his
business. He will get into any situation as long as there is money in it for him.
The Lord meant that we should grasp every opportunity. We must give
ourselves to our work in such a way.

Commerce began with Tyre, and it ends up in Babylon. We find this from
Ezekiel 28 to Revelation 18. The one who invented commerce is the prince of
Tyre. Ezekiel 28 shows us that the prince of Tyre represents Satan. “By the
multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence,
and thou hast sinned” (v. 16). Bear in mind that commerce always makes
money for oneself at the expense of others and at the expense of decreasing
the riches of the world. This is not the kind of occupation that God wants.
This is the occupation which belongs to Satan. The principle behind such an
occupation is wrong.

The principle of commerce is to increase the money in one’s pocket by

decreasing the money in another’s pocket. Once the idea of making money
comes into a person’s mind, the result is very simple—one will get more
money while another will have less. Once someone’s money increases, there
must be others whose money decreases. Suppose there are only twenty-one
billion dollars in the whole world. Whether you are rich or poor, the total
amount of money remains the same. The total amount of money in the world
is limited. For my money to increase, I have to take it from others. This is
pure commerce. I am not saying that after catching some fish, one cannot
sell it. Neither am I saying that after harvesting a crop, producing a lamb, or
making a tent, one cannot sell it. I am saying that making tents, raising
lambs, harvesting crops, and catching fish are not pure commerce. Those
occupations exchange production for money. I derive my benefit from
nature. The abundance I receive comes from nature. It is nature that gives
me the abundance; I do not become richer by making others poorer.

Christians must not try to make money from other people. Never harbor any
thought of taking advantage of others. As God’s children, we have a high
standard. It does not look good for us to try to rack up the lowly money of the
world. Suppose the president of a foreign nation comes to Kuling and finds a
local native infected with malaria. Suppose he tries to sell him some quinine
pills, saying, “I bought them for five dollars per pill. Now I am selling them
to you for six dollars per pill.” What kind of story would that be? It does not
match the status of a nation’s president to earn a dollar from a coolie. For a
Christian to earn someone else’s money is even worse than a president taking
money from a coolie. Our status is different. We cannot make money from
anyone.

Christians are noble people; we have our dignity, our standing, and our
principles. It is a shame for us to make money from anyone. We cannot
increase our wealth this way. I would rather be a farmer who tills and plants.
This is more glorious than making money from others. God has prepared
nature to work for us, and we will be more noble if we do not try to make
money from others. Christians must have the thought that they will not earn
money at the expense of other human beings.

Any occupation that increases the quantity and value of goods is acceptable
to God. But pure commerce is not acceptable to God. Please pay special
attention to Ezekiel 28. The principle of aggrandizement through trade
began with the prince of Tyre. God rebuked him, saying, “By the multitude
of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence.” In
Revelation 18 the world has come to an end and the kingdom is about to
begin. There we see Babylon being judged. Commerce continues throughout
history until the end of Babylon. All the merchants of the earth weep and
mourn for Babylon. There we also see all the goods of the earth. The first is
gold and the last are the souls of men. Everything is open for purchase and
for sale, from gold to the souls of men. Man always thinks of making money
and becoming rich. But brothers and sisters, we must flee from this low
occupation.

V. PURE COMMERCE BEING DIFFERENT

FROM PRODUCTION
I hope you can differentiate between pure commerce and production. Wheat,
cows, sheep, tents, and fish can be sold. This is not the commerce we are
talking about. The so-called commerce in the world means that today I buy
one hundred sacks of flour from another person. I store them until the price
goes up and then I sell them. Or I buy fifty tins of oil and put them away until
the price goes up and then sell them. The wheat or oil has not increased its
volume because of me. The oil has not increased, neither has the wheat. But
my money has increased. I have not increased the goods of the world, yet my
wealth has increased. This is a shameful thing. This is one thing that believers
should try to avoid at all cost.
It is all right to buy and sell for the sake of taking care of our production. But
it is wrong to buy and sell for the sake of buying and selling. It is right for a
brother to sell products from his farm. But it is wrong for the same brother
to buy rice and then sell it again. Although both are selling, the principles are
altogether different. If a brother buys ten tents and resells them, he does not
have the same occupation as Paul’s. If I make tents at night and then sell
them in the morning, I have the same occupation as Paul’s. The two are
absolutely different. If you labor on something and then sell what you have
labored on, this is something that can be blessed by God. But if you buy
something and then sell it, hoping in your heart that you will make money in
the process, you are engaging in the lowest occupation, not only from a
Christian’s point of view, but also from a Gentile’s as well.

No brother engaging in pure commerce can be a responsible brother, for such

a person can never be fully delivered from money. Our way is becoming
clearer and clearer. God’s children must be fully delivered from the power of
mammon. This is the only way for them to serve God and for the church to
have a way to go on.

VI. THE OCCUPATIONS WHICH ARE PLEASING TO GOD

Both shepherds and farmers are producers. Merchants belong to another
category. There is a third kind of people who come in between these two.
They are workers, like doctors and teachers, who work with their skills. These
are also good occupations according to the Bible. Although they are not
producing anything, they are not extorting anything from others either. They
do not receive anything from nature, but they do not take anything from
people either. They maintain their livelihood by utilizing their own
contribution of time, energy, and mental power. The workman is worthy of
his pay. This is one scriptural occupation that is acceptable to God. We can
say that the highest occupation is the occupation which produces. The second
highest is the occupation that works with skills and that receives rewards by
contributing intellectual or physical strength.

The producer takes from nature and receives nothing from men. The worker
takes nothing from nature and receives nothing from men. The merchant
receives nothing from nature but takes things from men. These are three
totally different kinds of occupations. The producer obtains something from
nature while taking nothing from men. This is the highest occupation in the
Bible. The worker puts in his energy, whether mental or physical. He puts in
his time and energy to earn what he deserves. He does not make others
poorer. Others pay him for the service he renders, and the interests of both
parties balance out each other. This is an occupation acceptable to God. The
merchant who deals with pure commerce receives nothing from nature but
receives something from men. He has no other motive than to make money.
This is the lowest occupation according to the Bible.

Today the way is clear, and the principle is also clear. We hope that all the
brothers would try to have a turn in their occupations.

VII. THE WAY TO GO ON

I do not wish to see anyone taking the extreme way. Do not condemn those
who are engaged in commerce as soon as you meet them. They did not have
the opportunity to choose their occupation. I knew a brother who was quite
pure when he left school. After he went into business, his heart gradually
became corrupt. He tried to make money day and night. If you wanted him
to buy something for you, he would try to make some money in the process.
He always tried to make some money from others. This is too poor. I believe
such a person has been corrupted in his heart. We hope that anyone who can
choose his own occupation will not go into pure commerce. We must open
the eyes of those who are already in it and help them to have a change. Do
not embarrass them, but at least show them the way clearly.

Pure commerce is never a good thing. We hope that ten or twenty years from
now, it will be a tradition among us that no one goes into pure commerce.
Hopefully, in the future all the brothers and sisters among us will build up
the habit of shunning pure commerce. As God’s children, we would rather be
teachers or manual laborers; we would not go into pure commerce. We would
till the land and harvest wheat, barley, or rice and then sell the harvest. We
would raise lambs from our sheep and then sell them. We would have our
hen lay eggs and then sell them. We would have our cow produce milk and
then sell it. We would make fabric and then sell it. We can do all these things.
The more we work and produce, the more God will bless. The worst thing
that can happen to us is that our brothers and sisters simply make a great
deal of money. Nothing could be worse than this.

Today our brothers and sisters are the poorest among all those in the other
denominations. If we are not careful, we could become the richest. Because
we are more honest, diligent, and frugal than others, and because we do not
lie, smoke, drink, or live in big mansions, it is possible that within a short
time, all of the brothers and sisters will become wealthy. John Wesley once
said before he died, “I am concerned for our people in the Methodist
assembly. They are honest, diligent, and frugal. Soon they will become the
richest people in the world.” Such a word has indeed come true today. The
Methodists are the richest people in the world. But their testimony has been
lost as a result.

We hope that all the new believers will earn their living by their own labor.
We hope that they will not make money by taking in with one hand and
taking out with the other. Our principle is to increase the abundance of the
land, not the money in the world. If we do this, the money we receive will be
clean, and when we offer it to God, it will be acceptable to Him. Every dollar
will end up in a good place. Suppose a brother makes a basket and sells it and
then offers the money to the Lord. This is much better than another brother
who buys ten baskets, sells them, and then offers up his profit to the Lord.
The amount of money offered may be the same, but the nature of the money
is different. We hope that many brothers and sisters will see this principle.
We must either labor with our hands or we must produce something. Both
are according to the proper principles. I cannot forbid anyone from going
into the business of pure commerce, but I would advise everyone to try his
best to avoid pure commerce. This occupation will always drag a Christian
down. We hope that the new believers among us will please the Lord in their
choice of occupations.

CHAPTER THIRTY
MARRIAGE
In order to be a good Christian, one needs to deal with all the basic issues in
a thorough way. If there is one basic issue that is not settled, whether it be
the family or one’s occupation, problems will eventually come back. As long
as there is one unresolved issue, a Christian will not be able to take a straight
path before the Lord.

Today we will cover the subject of marriage. A new believer should know
what God’s Word has to say about marriage. We need to consider this subject
from various angles.

I. MARRIAGE BEING HOLY

The first question to address with regard to marriage is the matter of sex. We
need to be clear that human beings have an awareness of sex in the same way
that they have an awareness of hunger. Just as the consciousness of hunger
is a natural demand of the body, the consciousness of sex is also a natural
demand of the body. To feel hungry is natural; it is not a sin. But to steal food
is sin; that is not natural. Likewise, having a consciousness of sex is natural
and is not a sin. But if a person uses improper means to satisfy his demand,
he falls into sin.

Marriage was ordained and initiated by God. Hence, the consciousness of sex
also was given by God. Marriage is not something that was instituted after
man’s fall; it was there before man sinned. It was not instituted after Genesis
3; rather, God ordained marriage in Genesis 2. Hence, the consciousness of
sex existed before, not after, sin entered the world. It is definitely not a sin
for a person to have the consciousness of sex. There is no element of sin in
this consciousness. Rather, it is a consciousness created by God Himself.

New believers must be clear concerning this point. I have contacted many
young brothers and sisters in the course of my Christian life and service
during the past thirty years. Many of them were troubled by the matter of
marriage. They were unnecessarily condemned in their conscience because
they were ignorant of God’s ordination as well as God’s Word. They had the
consciousness and need of marriage, yet they thought that this was sin. Some
brothers have fallen into serious doubts about God’s work only because of
their consciousness of sex. It is a heathen thought to treat sex as something
sinful. We need to be clear about God’s Word. Just as it is not sin for a man
to feel hungry, the need for sex is not sinful; it is a natural consciousness.

Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” Marriage
is not only honorable but even holy. God considers sex not only natural but
even holy.

Dr. Meyer, a co-worker of D. L. Moody, wrote many good books on

edification. He once said, “Only the most filthy mind would consider sex as
something filthy.” I think this was well said. Man injects filthy thoughts into
sex because he himself is filthy. To the clean everything is clean. To the
defiled everything is defiled. Because man’s mind is defiled, his thoughts also
become defiled. We need to realize that marriage is clean. A God-ordained
sex relationship is holy, clean, and undefiled.
In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul said that in later times, there would be the teachings
of demons, one of which is the forbidding of marriage. Here we see that even
demonic teachings pursue holiness. G. H. Pember pointed out clearly in his
writing how men would forbid marriage in the pursuit of holiness. They
thought that this would make them holy. However, in his Epistle to Timothy,
Paul told us that forbidding marriage is a doctrine of the demons. God has
never forbidden marriage.

No one should be condemned unnecessarily in his conscience because of

heathen religious teachings. The consciousness of sex is something natural
and is not sin. It is only when one begins to deal with this consciousness that
the possibility of it becoming a sin arises. It is not a question of the presence
of this consciousness; the presence of this consciousness is natural and is not
sin. It is the way a person deals with this consciousness that determines
whether or not it is sin. This matter needs to be thoroughly cleared up.
Otherwise a person’s conscience will be condemned, and he will not grow.
This feeling of guilt is, in fact, not sin at all but the result of ignorance.

II. BASIC ELEMENTS OF A MARRIAGE

A. Rendering Mutual Help
Marriage is ordained by God. In Genesis God said that it was not good for
man to be alone. God said “good” to everything that He created. With the
exception of the second day, God proclaimed that what He had created was
good. God did not say that “it was good” on the second day, because the
firmament was the place of Satan. Moreover, on the sixth day, God did not
say that “it was good”; in fact, He even said that something was not good after
He created man. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen.
2:18). This is not to suggest that man was not created well. It means only that
it was not good because there was just one man. Only half of man was
created.

God created a help meet for Adam on the sixth day. Eve was also made on
the sixth day, and she was brought by God to Adam. She was made for the
purpose of marriage. The words help meet mean “meet to help.” This word
in Hebrew means “someone that matches, someone that renders help.”

In considering Genesis 2:18, many Bible readers think that when God created
man, He created a male plus a female. However, the Bible says only that God
created man. His creation of man was His creation of male and female. The
male and female made a complete man. It was as if God created half of a man
in the beginning and then the other half after seeing that this man was only
one-half. The two halves were joined together to become one. Only when the
two halves were joined together was man complete. This is why God did not
say that “it was good” until Eve was made. This shows us that marriage is not
initiated by man but by God. The institution of marriage did not come after
man’s fall but before it. Man did not sin on the first day of his creation; he
was married on the first day of his creation. On the same day that God created
Eve, He gave her to Adam. This is not something that happened after man
sinned. Marriage is something initiated by God.

In Genesis 2 we see marriage in God’s creation. In John 2, at the beginning

of the Lord Jesus’ ministry, there was also a wedding in Cana. During that
wedding the Lord Jesus changed the water into wine. This shows that the
Lord not only allowed marriage but even approved and endorsed it. The Lord
Jesus not only attended the wedding but even enhanced it and made it better.
It is clear that marriage was initiated by God and particularly approved by
the Lord Jesus. Therefore, it is something entirely of God.

Here we see the place of marriage before God. God’s purpose is to have a
husband and a wife, who will mutually help each other. Thus, He called
Adam’s wife a help meet. Help meet in Hebrew means someone who is meet
to help. Here we find that God wants man to live in a corporate way, to have
mutual fellowship, and to render mutual help. This is God’s purpose.

B. Preventing Sin
In the Old Testament God instituted marriage before sin came into the world.
In the New Testament, Paul said that marriage not only is allowed but also is
a necessity because of the presence of sin (1 Cor. 7).

Marriage can prevent sin. This is why Paul said that men should have their
own wives and women should have their own husbands. This is to prevent
the sin of fornication (v. 2). Paul did not condemn the consciousness of sex
as sin. On the contrary, he showed us that both the male and the female
should marry in order to prevent sin.

Paul said that we should make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). If a
man constantly committed the sin of pride, Paul could not have said, “Since
you always commit the sin of pride, you can be proud at home so that you
will not be proud elsewhere! If you exercise your pride in one place, perhaps
you will not exercise it elsewhere.” Saying this would have been to make
“provision for the flesh.” God would never agree with his pride or my making
some arrangement for him to exercise his pride. Consider a man who loves
to steal. You should not say, “Since you like to steal, I will allow you to steal
the things which belong to Brother So-and-so so that you will not steal from
others.” You should not say this; instead, you need to say, “You cannot steal
at all.” Stealing is definitely a sin, and we should not make any provision for
it. Pride is definitely a sin as well, and we cannot make provision for it either.
But sex is not a sin in an absolute sense. This is why men should have their
own wives, and women should have their own husbands. If we do not
understand this, we may think that Paul’s word was making provision for the
flesh. But we know that the apostle did not make provision for the flesh.
Therefore, we cannot consider marriage to be a sin. Marriage is not God’s
provision for the flesh. We want to hold marriage on a high plane. It is
something holy and ordained by God Himself.

Marriage is necessary because sin has entered. Marriage can prevent sin.
This is not to make provision for the flesh. There is a clear difference.

In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul spoke about marriage. He began by saying that a wife

does not have authority over her own body, and a husband does not have
authority over his own body (v. 4). Paul’s teaching is quite clear. Except for
the purpose of devoting themselves to the service of the Lord, the husband
and the wife should not be separated. This prevents fornication (v. 5). In
order to prevent fornication, God ordains that male and female should marry
and not be separated.

Paul used strong words to speak of those who have a compelling desire for
sex. He said that they should marry in order to avoid burning with desire (v.
9). He did not reprimand such persons. Paul did not say, “You are wrong to
have such a strong desire. You have sinned in having such a strong desire.
Therefore, you have to make some provision for your flesh.” Instead, he said,
“If you have a strong desire, you should marry. It is better to marry than to
live with such a strong desire.” The Word of God is very clear concerning this.
The consciousness of sex is not a sin. Even a strong sex urge is not a sin. But
God has ordained that those who have a strong consciousness of sex should
marry. They should not abstain from marriage on the one hand and fall into
sin on the other hand. This is what the Lord has shown us.

The institution of marriage has a New Testament aspect and an Old

Testament aspect. The Old Testament shows us that marriage provides help
that is meet. The New Testament says that it is instituted to prevent sin. One
aspect of the Christian marriage today is mutual help, and the other aspect
is the prevention of sin.

C. Inheriting Grace Together

There is a third aspect. In his first Epistle, Peter said that the wives are
“fellow heirs of the grace of life” (3:7). In other words, God delights to see
husbands and wives serving Him together. God delighted to see Aquila and
Prisca serving Him. He delighted to see Peter and his wife, Judah and his
wife, serving Him together.

Therefore, there are three basic elements of a Christian marriage. First, there
is mutual help; second, there is the prevention of sin; and third, there is the
joint inheritance of grace of two persons in the presence of God. One should
not be a Christian alone but a Christian together with another person. One
should not inherit grace alone but together with another person.

III. THE QUESTION OF VIRGINITY

The Bible also shows us that even though there is the consciousness of sex,
this consciousness is not very strong with some people, and so there is no
need for such a one to fulfill this need. The Bible advises such persons to keep
their virginity.

A. The Benefits of Keeping One’s Virginity

Virginity does not make one more holy spiritually. However, a virgin can
surely devote all his or her physical energy to the Lord’s work. This also is
spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7.

Paul shows us that there are three problems in marriage. First, marriage is a
bondage. He says, “Have you been bound to a wife?” (v. 27). Often, a person
is not free after he is married; once he is married he becomes occupied with
many things. He is bound by his wife and has to take care of many things.
Second, those who are married have affliction. Paul said, “But such ones will
have affliction in the flesh” (v. 28). When a person is married, the affliction
in the flesh increases, and it is hard for him to serve the Lord with a single
heart. Third, those who are married care for the things of the world (vv. 32-
34). In Matthew 13 the Lord indicates that these cares are like thorns which
can easily choke the growth of the seed. The result can be barrenness (v. 22).
In short, marriage brings in family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and
anxiety.

Paul’s words are not only for the co-workers but also for all the brothers and
sisters. A person who keeps his virginity can be spared many difficulties. Paul
did not command these ones to keep their virginity, but his words show his
inclination toward this choice. Paul did not have any opinion of his own; he
was merely telling the brothers the facts. Marriage is good, and it prevents
the danger of sinning. But marriage also brings a person into family
problems, entanglements, afflictions, and the anxieties of this world.

B. The Type of Person

Who Can Keep His Virginity
Following this, Paul shows us the type of person who can keep his virginity.
He said some have the gift from God to keep their virginity. It is a gift from
God to keep one’s virginity. One person receives one kind of gift from God.
Another person receives another kind of gift from God. If I need to marry,
marriage is a gift from God; it takes a gift from God to marry. This is why
Paul said, “But each has his own gift from God, one in this way, the other in
that” (1 Cor. 7:7). Those who keep their virginity have the gift of God, and
also those who are married have the gift of God.

The first condition for keeping one’s virginity is that a person have only sex
consciousness but no sex compulsion. Some people have the compulsion of
sex. Others have only the consciousness of sex but not the compulsion. Only
those who do not have a compulsion for sex can keep their virginity.

Second, a person must have the desire to remain single and must be firm in
his heart. Verses 36 and 37 say, “But if any one think that he behaves
unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must
be, let him do what he will, he does not sin: let them marry. But he who stands
firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and
has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well” (New
Translation, J. N. Darby). Paul shows us that to keep one’s virginity, the
person must have the intention and willingness to keep it. If anyone thinks
that it is wrong to keep his virginity, he can marry. If a person has the
intention and the inclination to remain single, and if he is firm in his heart
to keep his virginity, he can keep it. Hence, firmness in heart is a necessary
requirement.
Third, such a decision must not be in conflict with one’s circumstances. Verse
37 says, “Having no need.” Some have special considerations in their
circumstances, and it is not easy for them to keep their virginity. Some may
create many problems with their family if they keep their virginity. Hence,
there must be the environmental provision before one can keep his virginity.

Paul shows us the three basic conditions for keeping one’s virginity: They are
(1) having no compulsion, (2) standing firm in one’s heart, and (3) not
creating problems in one’s environment. Only when one meets all three
conditions can he keep his virginity.

C. Virginity Being Related to

the Kingdom of the Heavens and to Rapture
Those who keep their virginity have much to gain before the Lord. Matthew
19 clearly shows that it is easier for a virgin to enter the kingdom of the
heavens. We have to acknowledge that “there are eunuchs who made
themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of the heavens.” Matthew 19
clearly speaks of the relationship between virginity and the kingdom of the
heavens. We dare not say specifically what relationship there is between
virginity and the kingdom of the heavens. However, we can say that keeping
one’s virginity definitely has its advantage in entering the kingdom of the
heavens. The Lord tells us here that there are some who made themselves
eunuchs, who keep their virginity for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens.

This is not all. Revelation 14 shows us that the firstfruits (the hundred and
forty-four thousand) are virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever He may go.
These hundred and forty-four thousand are the early raptured ones. Virginity
definitely has something to do with rapture. We will find one day that virgins
have a clear advantage in entering the kingdom of the heavens and in being
raptured. What about today? Paul said that keeping one’s virginity indeed
reduces afflictions and enables a person to serve God well.

We can only present these facts to the brothers and sisters. Only those who
do not have a compulsion for sex, who are firm in their heart, and who find
adequate provisions in their environment can keep their virginity. We are
presenting this matter in an objective and biblical way before the brothers
and sisters. Everyone should make his or her own choice before the Lord.

IV. MARRIAGE PARTNERS

Concerning the matter of marriage, God has laid down definite guidelines on
whom one can marry and whom one cannot marry. The Bible shows us
clearly that the marriages of God’s people should be restricted to those
among themselves only. In other words, if one is to be married, his spouse
must be sought from among God’s own people, not from other people.

A. The Old Testament Commandments

There are sufficient commandments in the Old Testament to show us that we
should not marry anyone outside of God’s people.

Deuteronomy 7:3-4 says that the Israelites should not marry the Canaanites.
They should neither give their daughters to the Canaanites’ sons, nor take
their daughters for their sons, because the Canaanites would turn them from
following the Lord and would seduce them to serve other gods. God clearly
shows through the Old Testament that one should look for a marriage
partner among the Lord’s people. One cannot look for a wife or a husband
among unbelievers. The greatest problem with going after unbelievers is that
the other person may turn one away from the Lord to serve other gods. It is
easy for wives to follow their husbands to worship idols. It is also easy for
husbands to follow their wives to worship idols. Since both are married, it is
very easy for one to follow the other to worship other gods.

Joshua 23:12-13 warns the Israelites against marrying the people of the land.
They were warned that the latter would become snares and thorns in their
eyes. Their wives or their husbands would become their thorns, and they
would be ensnared.

At the time of Nehemiah, the Israelites returned from captivity to the land of
Judah. Many had married Gentile wives and could not speak the Hebrew
language. Nehemiah charged them in 13:23-27 to sever all ties with the
Gentile women and not to have any dealings with them. Here we see a basic
problem in marrying a Gentile woman: Sooner or later the children will
follow the mother and not follow the father to serve God. If you marry a
Gentile, your children will easily follow your Gentile partner and go into the
world. This is quite a problem.

Malachi 2:11 shows us that the Israelites committed treacherous sins and
profaned the holiness of God because they took Gentiles to be their wives. In
God’s sight, marrying a Gentile woman is to profane the holiness of God.
Hence, Christians should look for marriage partners only among the
believers.

We can also take warnings from the failure of Solomon. Solomon was the
wisest king, yet he fell into idolatry through marrying Gentile women.

B. In the New Testament

Paul’s word in the New Testament is clear enough. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, he
told the widows to marry those who were in the Lord.

Second Corinthians 6:14 is a well-known portion of the Bible. It says that

believers and unbelievers should not share the same yoke. These words do
not refer to only marriage. But they certainly speak also of marriage.
Believers and unbelievers should not be engaged in the same business; they
should not join themselves in one goal, like two animals plowing the field
with one yoke. God does not allow this. He does not allow a believer and an
unbeliever to bear the same yoke. In the Old Testament, an ox and a horse
could not be yoked together, and an ass could not be equally yoked with a
horse. You cannot have one that is fast and another that is slow. It is
impossible to have one going one direction and the other going another
direction, or one turning to heaven and the other turning to the world. You
cannot have one seeking after spiritual blessings and the other seeking after
worldly riches. It is impossible for one to pull in one direction and the other
to pull in the other direction. If you do, the yoke will break.

Of all unequally yoked relationships, none is more serious than the marriage
relationship. One may be unequally yoked with others in business ventures
or in other things. But no yoke is more severe than the marriage yoke. When
a believer and an unbeliever share the responsibility of a family together, the
result will be nothing but problems. The ideal marriage partner is a brother
or a sister. Never choose an unbeliever capriciously. If you pick out an
unbeliever carelessly, you will surely encounter problems later. One will be
pulling to one side, and the other will be pulling to the other side. One will
turn to heaven, and the other will turn to the world. One will seek a heavenly
gift, and the other will seek worldly riches. The difference between the two is
tremendous. This is why the Bible charges us to marry those in the Lord.

V. IF MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER
But here is a problem: Suppose a brother is already married to an unbeliever,
or a sister is already married to an unbelieving husband. What should they
do? We mentioned earlier that a single person should seek a partner who is
in the Lord. However, there are some who are already married. They already
have an unbelieving wife or an unbelieving husband. What should they do?

A. If He Wants to Go Away
First Corinthians 7 has something to say about this matter. Verses 12, 13, and
15 address this point. They tell us what to do when a dispute arises in a family
that has only one member who is a Christian. Please bear in mind that many
such families today complain little, simply because the believers in these
families are not absolute enough. The Lord Jesus predicted in the Gospels
that there would be much contention within the family. If a believer is
absolute, there is bound to be contention in the family. There are cases of
“three against two and two against three,” as in Luke 12:52, because some
family members have become believers. Suppose a husband leaves his wife
because she has believed in the Lord. Suppose he says, “You have believed in
the Lord; I do not want you anymore.” What should the wife do? The Lord’s
word in 1 Corinthians 7 is clear enough: “Let him separate” (v. 15). Therefore,
if a husband wants to separate because the wife has believed in the Lord, or
vice versa, the word is, “Let him separate.”

However, one thing must be clear: You must not be the one who initiates the
separation. You must not be the one who asks for the separation. The other
party must be the one who asks for it. He is the one who is not happy with
your faith in the Lord. He is the one who thinks that there is no future with
you now that you have believed in the Lord. It is he who wants to go. If he
wants to separate, “Let him separate.”

B. If He Does Not Care, the Lord Will Save Him

Paul said that there is no need to separate if the other party does not care.
How do you know that the Lord will not save him through you? If he does
not care and wants to continue living with you, Paul said that you should be
at peace with him and should not leave. He said that an unbeliever can be
sanctified through a believer. He said also, “For how do you know, O wife,
whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband,
whether you will save your wife?” (v. 16). If the other party wants to leave,
that is his concern, not yours. But if he does not want to leave, you have to
believe that the Lord will save him. Paul said that it would be easy for him to
be saved. It may not be that easy for the Lord to save others, but it would
surely be easy for the Lord to save one who is already yours. We need to deal
with this matter by taking such a stand.

VI. WHAT TO DO IF ENGAGED TO AN UNBELIEVER

Some brothers and sisters have another problem: They are engaged to
unbelievers. What should they do?

A. It Being Best for the Unbelieving Side

to Take the Initiative in Breaking the Engagement
It is clear that the Lord does not want us to marry unbelievers. If someone is
already engaged to an unbeliever, the best thing would be for the unbelieving
fiancé or fiancée to voluntarily break the engagement. The two are not yet
married; they only have an agreement to marry. If the Lord opens the way
for the unbelieving side to voluntarily break the agreement because the other
one has believed in the Lord, that is the best solution.

B. Not Annulling Any Agreement Arbitrarily

However, it is often impossible to have such a solution. Because a marriage
agreement exists, the other party may not easily let go just because you have
believed in the Lord. At such times, you need to realize that an engagement
to a person is a covenant with that person. Such a covenant is a promise you
have made before God. A Christian cannot arbitrarily annul a covenant just
because he has believed in the Lord. Any covenant is holy in the eyes of God.
You can suggest a dissolution to the other party. The other party can initiate
such a dissolution, or you can initiate it. The proposal need not be initiated
by the other party. This is different from the earlier case. In the case of a
marriage, the other party must initiate it. In the case of an engagement, you
can initiate the dissolution of the engagement. If the other party insists that
you fulfill the marriage agreement, you have to fulfill it. Once something
comes out of the mouth of a Christian, he has to honor it; he cannot annul it
arbitrarily. We receive salvation because God honors His word. If God did
not honor His word, there would not be any salvation at all. Therefore, you
have to negotiate with the other party. If the other party is unwilling to
dissolve the relationship, you have to marry him or her.

Psalm 15:4 says, “Should he swear to his harm, / He does not change.” After
the Israelites entered the land of Canaan, the Gibeonites deceived them with
dry, moldy bread, old patched shoes, and worn garments. They said that they
came from a far country, and Joshua promised not to kill them. Later, he
found out that they were actually from a near country. Because a covenant
had been made with them, God would not allow the Israelites to kill them. At
the most, they were made woodcutters and drawers of water (Josh. 9:3-27).
Honoring one’s covenant is a serious matter in the Bible. It is all right for you
to annul an engagement only if the other party is willing to annul it. But if
the other party is not willing to annul it, you cannot annul it. The covenant
with the Gibeonites produced serious consequences. Rain was withheld from
heaven because Saul slaughtered the Gibeonites. David was forced to ask the
Gibeonites what he should do for them. The Gibeonites demanded that seven
of the sons of Saul be hung, and David had to comply (2 Sam. 21:1-6). God
will not allow us to breach a covenant arbitrarily. We must learn to honor
any covenant we make. We cannot do anything that is unrighteous.

C. Negotiating the Terms Beforehand

You have been engaged to someone, and now you have become a Christian.
What should you do if the other party insists on marrying you? Here is
something that you can do: Negotiate the terms with him ahead of time. You
can say, “I will definitely marry you, but I would like to settle a few matters
with you before marriage.” What are the few matters? First, the other party
must allow you to serve the Lord. You should not move into the other party’s
house with a false disguise; you should move in with an open banner. You
are now a Christian. Even though you are marrying the other person, he must
give you the liberty to serve the Lord. He must not interfere with your service
to the Lord. Second, when you have children, they must be brought up
according to the teaching of the Lord. Whether or not the other party
becomes a Christian is up to him or her, but the children must be brought up
according to the teaching of the Lord. You must settle this from the very
beginning. Put this on the table first and have an agreement ahead of time.
If you have an agreement, you will not face difficulties later. But if you do not
make an agreement beforehand, you will face difficulties down the road.
Marrying an unbeliever is always a loss. But you can minimize the loss and
the headaches by coming to an agreement first. The other party must agree
to give you the freedom to lead your children to the Lord. You have become
a Christian. You will not go to the world. You will always be on the Lord’s
side. If the other party is agreeable to this, you can proceed with the
marriage. If the other party does not like it, he can annul the agreement. We
need to inform the other party about our future commitment. This will tend
to reduce the problems that will eventually come.

VII. IF ONE NEEDS TO BE MARRIED

YET CANNOT FIND A BELIEVER
This is a real problem; it is not an imaginary one. But we can only say that
there is no teaching in the Bible concerning this matter. However, we need
to touch Paul’s heart. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul wished that the widows would
remain single if possible. But then, he also wished that the widows would
marry those who are in the Lord (v. 39). Therefore, widows can remarry if
there is the need. According to this principle, we can say that the best thing
for a brother to do is to marry a sister in the Lord. If it is not possible to do
this, it is best if he does not marry at all. However, if he must marry, we still
would be happy to see him marry. Even if the other party is an unbeliever,
we still would like to see him marry.

When we say this, we are not advocating, as the world says, “Choose the
lesser of two evils.” We are saying that we would rather see a person commit
a sin against God’s government rather than a moral sin. If by not marrying I
fall into sin, I commit a moral sin. If I marry an unbelieving woman, I commit
a sin against God’s government. There are two types of sin; one is moral sin,
and the other is sin against God’s government. Please bear in mind that
moral sin is more serious than sin against God’s government. If a brother
needs to marry and he cannot find a sister, the best thing for him to do is stay
single. But if he must marry, we should let him marry even if it means
marrying an unbeliever.

If you marry an unbeliever, you need to have your eyes open and realize that
serious problems lie ahead. It is particularly hard for a believer to marry an
unbeliever. The hardship is greater than that of an unbelieving couple in
which one becomes a believer. A husband or wife who becomes a believer
after being married may encounter hardship, but many times the Lord will
bring him through. However, a believer who marries an unbeliever will face
many difficulties. We need to warn him ahead of time, and he needs to open
his eyes to the hardships ahead.

If a person marries an unbeliever, we must warn him of another thing: He

should be careful not to be carried away. He has to remember that he is
marrying an unbeliever, and if he is careless, he will be easily led away. Of
course, those who are married or engaged have to be careful as well, but those
who are considering marriage should exercise even more care. In other
words, they need special protection, preservation, and prayer, so that they
will not be carried away by the other party.

If you have no choice but to marry an unbeliever, you must also lay down the
terms clearly beforehand. You need to tell the unbeliever, “I have already
believed in the Lord. I will not force you to believe, but you cannot interfere
with my faith. You must give me absolute freedom in this respect.” You need
also to bring up the question of children. “You must give me the freedom to
lead our children to the Lord. I want my children to believe in the Lord. I do
not want them to worship idols or to be conformed to the world.” If you
emphasize this point enough, perhaps you can get by with this issue.

I will speak a few words to the more mature brothers and sisters. When you
see a new believer struggling with such a problem, you must be very careful.
Do not open the door too wide. Do not allow him to arbitrarily marry an
unbeliever. On the other hand, do not close the door too tightly. Do not keep
him away from governmental sin while exposing him to moral sin. It is better
to let someone fall into God’s governmental hand than to let him fall into
moral sin.

I have something more to say about this. We have many young brothers and
sisters in every locality. Most of the problems in finding a spouse arise when
too many saints have too many expectations concerning the background and
status of others. A brother who has a higher social status does not want to
marry a sister with a lower status, and the reverse is also true. Today there is
no lack of brothers and no lack of sisters. But the question of status has
caused many problems. I think this question would be easily solved if the
brothers and sisters would change their concept about occupation. It would
be easy for sisters to marry if they did not belittle brothers who are farmers.
It would also be easy for brothers to marry if they did not belittle sisters who
are farmers. Today we look down upon occupations which God honors and
exalt occupations which men worship. This is what makes things
complicated. Today we have no lack of sisters and brothers, but we do not
have many matching pairs according to status. Since the matter of status is a
worldly consideration, we need to have a complete turn in our concept
concerning occupation in order to solve this problem.

VIII. WHAT TO DO WITH ONE’S CONCUBINE*

[* Editor’s Note: Watchman Nee dealt with the matter of concubines because
of the problem at this point in China’s history.]

In the Bible there is no command telling man to separate himself from his
concubine. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask man to send his concubine
away. I am talking about concubines whom one took before he believed in
the Lord. In the Bible I think there is sufficient indication of how God wants
man to take care of concubines.

Perhaps we should look first at man’s demand before considering the Bible’s
demand. Man’s immediate thought is to send away all his concubines. If the
concubine cannot be sent away, man’s thought is for the husband to
discontinue sexual relationships with her. This is a human concept, and
unfortunately many brothers and sisters hold this concept. But this is not
God’s revelation; it is in fact a heathen thought.

A. The Bible Never Demanding

That Concubines Be Sent Away
In the Bible no one took a concubine in a worse way than David. He not only
took a concubine but even committed murder in taking that concubine.
Uriah died because of his wife. David sacrificed Uriah to gain Bath-sheba.
Solomon was born of Bath-sheba, and so was the Lord Jesus Himself. The
Lord acknowledges this fact in the New Testament. Matthew 1 tells us about
four women. Bath-sheba is included and is spoken of as the wife of Uriah.
We must be clear about this fact: Those who have taken concubines should
submit to God’s disciplining hand; they should never chase their concubines
away.

Why does the Bible not demand that the concubine be sent away? Please bear
in mind that the sin of fornication and that of taking a concubine are two
completely different things. If I steal a Bible today, I can return another Bible
tomorrow. If I steal one thousand dollars today, I can return one thousand
dollars tomorrow. But if I take a concubine today, I have no way to return
her.

Some brothers think that all concubines should be sent away. This is a
consideration from the male’s point of view. All males should know that in
God’s eyes taking a concubine is equal to committing adultery. However, on
the side of the concubine, when she marries a male, she is not married to two
husbands. The male is married to two women, but the concubine is not
married to two husbands. We have to see that the Lord never asks the man
to send his concubine away.

I think the principle behind Solomon’s mother is very clear. The Lord sent
Nathan the prophet purposely to David after David married Bath-sheba.
Everything the Lord needs to say concerning this subject has already been
said through Nathan; there is no need for you to add anything to his word.
Even if Nathan had missed anything, there would still be no need for you or
I to add a footnote to the subject three thousand years later. Nathan told
David that his son would surely die, and judgment would come to him.
Others would commit fornication with his wives in the sight of the sun, and
the sword would never depart from his house (2 Sam. 12:7-14). Nathan did
not ask David to send Bath-sheba away. If he were to send her away, what
would she do? Uriah was already dead. Some are without their Uriah today,
while the Uriah of others is dead. What should they do? When God sent
Nathan to David, He did not ask David to chase Bath-sheba away. In fact,
God later caused her to give birth to Solomon (v. 24). God did not cause any
of the wives of David to give birth to Solomon. He caused David’s concubine,
Bath-sheba, to give birth to Solomon. Moreover, the first page of the New
Testament says, “And David begot Solomon of her who had been the wife of
Uriah” (Matt. 1:6). The New Testament does not say that one can take a
concubine. But it does not say that one needs to chase his concubine away
either.

B. Her Duty of Marriage Not Being Diminished

Exodus 21:9-11 specifies that if a master betroths a maid to his son, he shall
deal with her after the manner of daughters. If the son properly marries
another later, the maid will become a concubine. God’s ordination is clear:
Her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage shall he not diminish. If he
does not do these three things to her, she shall go out free and be a slave no
more. Thus, if anyone thinks that he cannot have intercourse with his
concubine, he is not keeping the law of God. I hope that you can be clear
about this matter.

C. Such a One Not to Be an Elder

There is only one portion of the Word that addresses the matter of
concubines in the New Testament. In reading the Bible, we love to see a
certain matter that is mentioned only once. If a certain matter is mentioned
twice, we have to make a comparison. If it is mentioned three or more times,
we need to integrate the different portions before we can arrive at a
conclusion about God’s teaching. This is why every Bible student loves
single-incident injunctions, because one needs to refer to only one case in
order to know God’s will. There is only one portion in the New Testament—
1 Timothy—that only indirectly refers to the matter of concubines. There it
says that an overseer must be the husband of one wife. This means that all
who have concubines cannot be elders in the church. However, the New
Testament does not say that such a one should send his concubine away or
abstain from fulfilling her duty of marriage.

D. The Best Arrangement—

the Concubine Being Saved
and Deciding to Separate Voluntarily
If a concubine is saved and has no compulsion for continued sexual
relationships, it is good if she is willing to separate from the husband. But
this is something voluntary; it is not a commandment of the Lord nor a
commandment of the church. The church should not demand anything
concerning this matter.

God has put only two together, and this principle should be maintained. It is
quite obvious that a person who takes a concubine will suffer more affliction
in the body than one who upholds monogamy. This one will naturally
experience more discipline from the Lord.

IX. DIVORCE
The Bible speaks of divorce, but divorce is sanctioned by the Scripture under
only one condition. There are many ordinances regarding divorce among the
nations of the world. Some countries have more than twenty ordinances on
the subject. The Chinese also have many ordinances. For example, if either
party is mentally unsound or if there is incompatibility of any kind, the
couple can divorce each other. But the Bible gives only one condition for
divorce—adultery. Factors such as mental instability or prolonged separation
do not constitute legitimate reasons for divorce. The only reason for a divorce
is extramarital sexual conduct. In Matthew 19 and Luke 16 the Lord Jesus
shows us clearly that divorce is permitted only if adultery is involved.

A. What God Has Joined Together,

Man Should Not Separate
Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because man should not separate
what God has joined together. In other words, the husband and wife are one
in the sight of God. All divorces violate this oneness. What is adultery? It is
the destruction of that oneness. If you commit sexual acts with someone
other than your wife or your husband, you have committed adultery and have
violated that oneness. A wife or a husband may be missing for years or may
be mentally sick. There may be psychological harassment or other factors
involved, but if one party turns away and marries someone else, he is
breaking the oneness and has committed adultery in reality.

B. One Being Allowed to Separate

Only When the Oneness Is Broken
Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because the oneness has already
been broken. Originally, the wife was one with her husband. When the
husband commits adultery, she becomes free. When the oneness was there,
she had to preserve it. Now that the oneness has been broken by the husband,
the wife is free. Thus, adultery is the only condition for divorce. A wife can
leave her husband if he has committed adultery. If a sister finds her husband
committing adultery or taking another woman, she can divorce her husband,
and the church cannot stop her. She can divorce her husband, and she can
remarry. Anything that destroys the oneness is sin. A person can leave his or
her spouse only where adultery is involved, because adultery has destroyed
the oneness. Divorce is but a declaration that the oneness between a husband
and a wife is gone. Since the oneness is gone, one can remarry.

Matthew 19 and Luke 16 are two clear passages concerning this subject, and
we have to pay much attention to them. Divorce is based on adultery.
Adultery breaks the original oneness between a husband and a wife. The two
are no longer one, but have become two. Therefore, they can divorce. They
can divorce each other because there is no more oneness between them.
Actually a divorce has already occurred when one party commits adultery; it
does not begin with the divorce proceedings. The so-called divorce
proceedings are but a procedure. Marriage begins with the declaration of
oneness, and divorce is a declaration that such a oneness no longer exists.
This is why divorce is permitted where adultery is found. A divorce that is
not based on adultery means that both parties are committing adultery.
Suppose neither a husband nor a wife has committed adultery. They cannot
have a divorce even if they cannot get along with each other. Once they
divorce each other, they have committed adultery. If the oneness has not yet
been broken when one tries to remarry, he or she is in reality committing
adultery. Only when the oneness no longer exists can a person remarry.
We need to know what marriage is. Marriage means oneness; it means that
two persons are no longer two, but one flesh. Adultery destroys this oneness,
while divorce is but an announcement of the destruction of this oneness.
Today if the oneness is gone between two persons, a remarriage is justified.
But suppose the oneness is still there. The two may quarrel bitterly, they may
not get along with each other, and they may threaten to divorce each other.
The world and civic laws may even allow them to divorce each other. But in
God’s eyes, the two still cannot divorce each other. If they divorce each other,
they have committed adultery in reality. Divorce is allowed only where
adultery has already occurred. We must see that no one can separate what
God has joined together. Since there is already a union, one must never try
to break it for any reason at all.

X. WIDOWS
The Bible allows widows and widowers to remarry for the same reason.
Marriage is something that lasts till death. In resurrection there is no
marriage relationship. In resurrection men neither marry nor are given in
marriage (Matt. 22:30). Marrying and being given in marriage are things of
this world. The angels neither marry nor are given in marriage. Resurrected
men likewise neither marry nor are given in marriage. Marriage is a thing of
this age, not of the next age. Therefore, marriage ends with death. After one’s
partner dies, he or she may remain unmarried for the sake of cherished
affection. But the Bible says nothing to forbid him or her from remarrying
someone else.

Consider the teaching in Romans 7 which says that every Christian is a

remarried person. We were remarried through the death and resurrection of
Christ. Romans 7 shows us that a wife is bound by the law to her husband as
long as he is alive. After the husband dies, the wife can marry another man.
Whoever marries another man while her husband is alive is an adulteress. If
we are not yet dead to the law or if we are Seventh-day Adventists, yet we are
married to Christ, all of us are adulteresses. Thank God, we have only one
husband. The Seventh-day Adventists have two husbands. Romans 7 says
that we could not belong to Christ as long as the law was still alive; if we had
belonged to Christ then, we would have been adulteresses. We were
originally married to the law, and we belonged to the law. However, we have
died through Christ. Today, when we turn to Christ, we are not adulteresses.
All of us have been remarried to Christ. We are dead to the law, and we are
not adulteresses. Romans 7 tells us that a wife is bound to her husband until
his death. After the husband dies, the wife is free. It is wrong for anyone in
the church to think that widows should not remarry. This is a heathen
concept.

It is all right if a widow wants to remain single like a virgin. Paul said, “It is
good for them if they remain even as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8). To live alone like a
virgin for the sake of serving the Lord is right, but to remain unmarried
because of criticism and social pressure is wrong. I hope that this concept
can be removed from the church.

Paul told Timothy, “I will therefore that younger widows marry” (1 Tim.
5:14). The same applies to widowers. Today the issue is whether or not one
has the need for marriage. Some have a physiological need. Others have a
psychological need; they would feel lonely if they did not marry again. Some
have a need because of their family. It is all right for a brother or a sister to
remarry after his or her spouse has died. No Christian should criticize
another on this matter. We need to eradicate all heathen concepts from our
mind.

XI. ON COMMITTING SIN

In the Bible God acknowledges the validity of sex. There is nothing wrong
with the consciousness of sex or sex itself. The consciousness of sex is not
sin; in fact, it is holy. However, this is true only within the context of a
marriage. In a marriage, sex is good and holy. But any sexual consciousness
or sexual act outside the bounds of oneness is sin. Have you seen the
difference? What is sin? It is sex outside of marriage. Why? Because sex
outside of marriage is a breach of the oneness of a marriage. Therefore, sex
is a sin only when it destroys the oneness. Sex has nothing to do with sin
when it is sex alone. Sex itself is not sinful. We must see this clearly before
the Lord.

In Matthew 5:28 the Lord Jesus said, “But I say to you that every one who
looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery
with her in his heart.” The word looks here involves the will. It is not just
seeing a woman but looking at her. Seeing is passive, while looking is active.
This looking is followed by the phrase in order to lust after her. It is not a
passing lustful thought that comes to one’s mind when he sees a woman, but
a look at a woman that is for the purpose of lusting after her. Lusting comes
first, and then looking. This look is the second look, not the first look. The
first look is a random look at a woman on the street. The second look is to
actually look at her. Between the first look and the second look, a lustful
thought has come in. The second look is therefore for the purpose of lusting
after a woman. The second look is the third step in the process. The Lord
Jesus is not talking about the first look, but the look which is the third step.
When some see a woman on the street, they do not control themselves and
lust after her. Satan injects lustful thoughts into men, and they turn and look
the second time. The second look is sin. Sin is having lustful thoughts and
looking at someone the second time.

Matthew 5 says that everyone who looks at a woman in order to lust after her
has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The Lord Jesus is not
referring to the first look. It is wrong to involve the first look in this
discussion. Suppose I see a woman on the street by accident. Satan may inject
lustful thoughts into me. If I reject them, that is the end of it. But if I turn
and look at her again, that is sin. Please bear in mind that the consciousness
of sex is not sin. It becomes sin only when there is the consent of the will.
When such a consent of the will happens outside the context of marriage, the
oneness is destroyed by the will. It is sin to destroy the oneness in one’s
conduct. In God’s eyes, it is sin also to destroy the oneness in one’s will.

In the Old Testament, only adultery is spoken of as sin; fornication is not

mentioned as sin. The Old Testament forbids only adultery, because man did
not have enough knowledge of himself yet. What is adultery? Adultery is sin
committed by those who are married. What is fornication? Fornication is sin
committed by those who are not married. The act is the same, but the sin is
not the same. We can say that a prostitute commits only fornication, but not
adultery, because she is not married. We have to realize that God does not
want man to commit fornication. The Old Testament speaks only of the sin
of those who are married; it does not speak of those who are not married. It
does not mean that there is no such thing in the Old Testament, but the term
is not there. Here we see that the act that destroys oneness—adultery—is sin.
But the act that does not destroy oneness—fornication—is sin as well.

We need to see that adultery is sin and that fornication is also sin. To destroy
the oneness of the married ones is sin. Fornication, which happens to those
who are not married and which seemingly does not destroy oneness is also
sin. Christians should not commit adultery; neither should they commit
fornication. We must see that sex is holy; sex consciousness is not a sin. Sex
within marriage is holy and is not a sin. But if you are married and have sex
outside of marriage, that is adultery. If you are not married but have sex, that
is fornication. As believers we must not commit adultery, and we must not
commit fornication.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHOOSING A MATE
Scripture Reading: Gen. 2:18
I. THE IMPORTANCE OF CHOOSING A MATE
When God created man, He considered Adam to be one half and Eve to be
another half. Man was not a complete man until the two halves were put
together. Everyone needs to be married. The only exceptions are those who
have received God’s gift of keeping their virginity. Most Bible teachers agree
that to God’s children, mating means searching for the other half. God has
created you as one half, and He has also created another half for you. You
have to find that other half in order to become a whole. Mating means to
make up the “whole.” The two halves are useless if they remain halves. You
must find the other half. If the two halves come together yet remain as two
halves, something is wrong with that marriage. We believe that what God has
put together should not be separated (Matt. 19:6). This is why we should find
God’s match.

Marriage among our young people has much to do with the church;
therefore, the older brothers and sisters in the church should not ignore this
matter. We must recognize the importance of this matter and help the young
ones to make the right choice. If they do not make the right choice in their
marriages and something happens later in life, the problems in their families
will become the problems of the church. This will put a heavy burden upon
the church.

We hope that the young brothers and sisters will open up their hearts before
the Lord concerning the matter of marriage. They should drop all prejudices
and consider the matter calmly. Do not look at it too subjectively, but
consider it objectively. If one becomes too subjective, his heart and head will
be too hot to see everything soberly or clearly. Learn to be calm and objective,
and learn to bring everything to the Lord and consider everything properly.
Do not be stirred up by your emotion, and do not leap hastily into anything.
Please remember that a Christian can jump into a marriage, but he can never
jump out of it. Worldly people can jump in and out of a marriage easily. But
you cannot jump out of it. This is why you must consider it carefully before
you jump in.

Let me mention some basic factors affecting marriage. I would like the young
brothers and sisters to consider these factors calmly and deal with them one
by one. Do not gloss over them lightly.

II. FACTORS AFFECTING THE CHOICE OF A MATE

A. Natural Attraction
It was easier for Jacob to marry Rachel than for him to marry Leah. We must
never belittle natural attraction. I would never say that anyone would do for
a spouse as long as he or she is a brother or a sister. The matter of attraction
is not involved in being a brother or a sister in the Lord. But if two persons
marry each other, they must consider all the factors that constitute a
marriage. One of these basic factors is attraction.

Dr. Bevan of the American Christian and Missionary Alliance had a proper
word for this. He said, “Mutual attraction is the highest expression of love.”
Such a great servant of the Lord also said, “When the Lord makes you a
brother or a sister to all the believers, the question of attraction is not
involved. But when He tells you to marry a person, the question of attraction
comes in.”

Even Paul himself did not forget this matter in 1 Corinthians 7. He said that
if one thinks that he should marry and he wishes to do so, he should go ahead
and do it. This shows us that marriage must be something that is produced
out of one’s own willingness. One must feel that he wants to do it. Natural
attraction is a prerequisite to a successful marriage. Of course, no one needs
to teach this, because the young brothers and sisters know this already. They
are very much aware of the factor of natural attraction in a marriage. We
mention this so that they will see that the older brothers in the Lord recognize
this fact and acknowledge its legitimacy. All marriages that are void of
natural attraction will not work well. Such marriages are reluctant matches.

If you want someone to be your marriage partner, you must want to be with
him (or her) and must enjoy his (or her) presence. You must not endure his
company but must like it. There are many people whose presence you
endure; you cannot say that you enjoy their presence. But if you want to
marry someone, you must cherish and treasure his company. You must be
happy about being together with him. If you do not like his company, or if it
is not something of an enjoyment to you, you should not marry him, because
you are short of one basic factor of marriage. The delight and enjoyment of
one’s company must not be something that is temporary; it must be a
permanent sentiment. You should have the assurance that thirty years or
fifty years from now, you will still enjoy his company. This enjoyment should
not be gone after three or five days. This attraction is one of the basic
conditions of a good marriage.

B. Physical Health
Second, physical health must be taken into consideration. It is true that great
love overcomes physical weaknesses. We know that some people marry for
the purpose of attending to the physical weakness of their spouse. One
brother in England wanted to marry a sister because she was blind. There are
many cases like this in church history. Where love is great, physical weakness
is overcome.

But we must realize that under normal circumstances, not everyone will have
such great love. Normally, physical weakness can become a damaging factor
to the success of a marriage. As the physical weakness of one party becomes
more acute, the need for sacrifice in the other party becomes more severe,
and this spontaneously leads to the possibility of failure in the marriage.

There are only two possible scenarios for a married person who is
handicapped in some way and who is being cared for by the other party.
Either he is very selfish, or he is self-conscious. A selfish person only receives;
he does not give. He only takes but does not spend. If a handicapped person
is selfish and always thinks of his own need, after some time this selfishness
will become apparent to the other party. The other party will despise such a
person and will think, “My husband (or wife) is so selfish. He (or she) thinks
only of himself (or herself) and not of others.” She (or he) will begin to
despise the other half.

Perhaps such a person is not selfish but is very self-conscious. This will also
pose a problem. When a person is very self-conscious, he will feel guilty about
his spouse’s constant service and sacrifice for him. It will be hard for him to
receive this service or special treatment. This is why under normal
circumstances, illness affects the success of a marriage.
Let us turn from the recipient’s side to the serving one’s side. There are also
two possibilities with the one who is rendering the service. Either he
sacrifices willingly, or he is willing to sacrifice with certain limitations.
Human patience easily runs out; there is always a limit to it. Problems will
flare up in the home when patience runs out. Sometimes patience has not
run out, but there is an unwillingness to sacrifice. Sometimes you may
discover that the opposite party is too selfish. You may begin to despise him
or her. If the opposite party is self-conscious, you will burden him with a
sense of indebtedness. This is like lending money to others. If the borrower
is selfish, he will continue to borrow. But if he is self-conscious in any way,
your giving will only make him feel worse. I would like to point out this
matter to you. Although physical weakness is not an insurmountable
problem, it will become a big issue in the family sooner or later. Physical
weakness may not be a problem at the time of marriage, but it will certainly
be a problem after marriage.

I know of a brother who has a severe sickness and whose wife has to work to
sustain the family. The wife works during the day and takes care of the
household chores when she comes home at night. Such a situation can last
only for a short period of time; it cannot go on for a long time. The wife may
work for one or two months, but she cannot go on this way forever. Under
normal circumstances, no one can be overburdened.

I believe that a man and a woman should be comparable in health for a

marriage to be successful. You cannot have one party who is healthy and the
other party who is seriously ill. Otherwise, it will be hard and unbearable for
the couple to go on during times of special trials. One must pay attention to
the health of the other party when it comes to marriage.

C. Heredity
Marriage must be viewed as a long-term endeavor. As such, the matter of
heredity must be taken into account. One should consider the health of the
individual as well as the health of his or her progenitors.

Heredity is not only medically valid, but it is also spoken of in the Bible. God’s
law says that God is a jealous God. God will visit the iniquity of those who
hate Him until the third and fourth generations. He will also show loving-
kindness to the thousandth generation of those who love Him and keep His
commandments. Many live dissipated and lawless lives in their youth
because their fathers or grandfathers before them sowed to whirlwinds. The
Bible says that those who sow to whirlwinds are those who walk in a wanton
way. They may be forgiven and saved and they may receive new life one day,
but some who are qualified for salvation may not be qualified for marriage.
The Lord may forgive their sins and conduct and may save them. But if they
marry and bear children, the children may not be saved easily. They will
transmit their evil seed to the next generations, but they cannot transmit
their regeneration to them. They can only sow the seed of sin but not the life
of God; they cannot pass their regeneration on to their children.

Many times when such persons bear children, the next generation falls into
gross sin and serious lawlessness. This brings much sorrow to the parents. I
am not saying that this will occur when they are first married. I am saying
that they will have a difficult time with their children during the latter years
of their life. Some have wondered how some spiritual persons could have
given birth to the kind of children they have. You may wonder why a sister
has such an undisciplined daughter. You should realize that there is such a
thing as the law of heredity. In many cases the second and third generations
inherit the evil seed of the first generation. What one sows in the whirlwind
he will reap in the whirlwind. Your next generation will reap the seed that
you have sown. On the one hand, this sowing will give the church one more
difficult sinner to work on, and on the other hand, it will give you one more
rebellious son in your family. This can present quite a problem to everyone.

What should be done if there are some who have a hereditary problem but
who are already married? They have to ask God for mercy so that they would
be delivered from God’s governmental hand. This has to do with God’s
governmental hand and His arrangement. They should pray that God’s
governmental hand will pass over them and spare them these dire
consequences.

Young brothers and sisters should pay attention to the factor of heredity in
the opposite party, because it has much to do with the rest of their life.

D. Family
Fourth, one has to pay attention to the family of the other party. There is a
familiar expression in the West, which says, “I am marrying So-and-so, not
her family.” But please remember that there is no such thing. When a person
marries a girl, her whole family comes along. Once a person marries another
person, the whole family of the other side comes along, because a person is
more or less a part of his family. All you need to do is to see if the other side’s
family has a high standard of morality or a lofty set of values. What is their
view toward many things? Do they have a strict standard for everything?
How do the males treat the females in this family? And how do the females
treat the males? Simply consider these matters a little and you will know
what your family’s future holds.

A young person has been under his family’s influence for over ten or twenty
years. He may not be satisfied with his family, but after he is married, his
family’s traits and ways will unconsciously surface in his new family. Sooner
or later these traits will be made manifest. I dare not say that this will be so
ten out of ten times. But I dare say that it will be so seven or eight out of ten
times. Although the traits may not surface all at once, the other party’s family
will gradually creep into your own family.

If a father is very strict with his children, the sons and daughters of that
family will not be too affectionate. Children from stern families are often
lacking in affection. If a family is warm and the parents are full of love, the
children from this family will spontaneously be gentle and easygoing. If both
the father and the mother in a family are strict, the children from that family
will be introspective and inward. It is all right if you want a husband from
such a family, but do not expect to find a warm husband. If you find a
daughter from such a family, she will be introspective and inward. If a family
carries a certain trait, seven to eight out of ten times, the children will carry
the same trait. Family traits always resurface in the second generation.

This is why some say, “If you want to marry the daughter, take a good look at
the mother.” This word may not be altogether true, but there is some truth
to it. By looking at the way the mother treats the father, you will know how
the daughter will treat her husband in the future. She has been watching her
mother for over twenty years, and this is what she has learned. Daily she has
been observing the way her mother treats her father. How can she not treat
her husband in the same way? It will be hard for her not to do the same
things. I would not say that, in ten out of ten cases, a daughter will be the
same as her mother. But I would say that you can expect this to happen seven
or eight out of ten times.

For example, some people have a very strong character. They can be very
gentle when you speak to them. But they grew up in a family with strong
character. Sooner or later these overbearing traits will surface in them. If a
family is close, and there is little quarreling or fighting in the family, the one
who comes from this family will spontaneously be congenial and quiet. They
will not argue or engage in physical fights easily. Children who come from
such families will at least consider quarreling to be wrong and serious. To ask
them to engage in a brawl would be like asking them to climb over a high
mountain. If a brother or a sister grows up in a family that argues or quarrels
every day, he or she may be courteous with you today, but this courtesy is
undependable; it is only a temporary mask. One day when he lets down his
guard, all of the skills that he learned from his family will come out. To him,
cursing will require no effort, neither quarreling, and you will not be able to
do anything about it.

Before you decide to marry someone, you should study the other party’s
family, and decide whether you like it or not. If you like it, seventy to eighty
percent of the problem is solved. If you feel that something is wrong there,
do not expect your future spouse to be an exception.

Please remember that one’s habit is different from one’s view. One’s view
may be one way, but his habit may turn out to be something else. If there are
arguments, fights, and bad habits in a family, sooner or later the children will
argue and fight. It is not easy to change anyone’s habit. When one marries a
sister, he is marrying her whole family. When one marries a brother, she is
also marrying his whole family. This is why one must carefully consider the
other person’s family.

E. Age
Generally speaking, women mature and age faster than men. In a marriage,
the man should generally be five, six, or even seven to eight years older than
the woman, as far as physical age is concerned. The woman matures five
years ahead of the man and ages about ten years faster than he does. This is
true as far as physiological development is concerned.

On the other hand, there is the mental development of the human life. Man
has an intellectual age. It is possible for a person to be physically matured yet
remain intellectually a child. It is possible for him to be old in the body but
young in the mind. A man can be in his thirties physically but act as if he were
in his twenties mentally. In that sense he is still young. Among Christians, if
a brother’s mental maturity exceeds that of a sister, it may not be a matter of
concern for the brother to be younger than the sister in age.
The matter lies in whether one pays more attention to the physical age or the
mental age. If physical age is the primary concern, it is better for the brother
to be older than the sister. If mental age is the primary concern, it is all right
for a sister to be older than a brother. This is something we cannot decide for
a couple; they have to consider it for themselves. Some pay more attention
to the physical aspect and others to the mental aspect. There is no regulation
or law as far as age is concerned.

F. Compatibility in Personality,
Goals, and Interests
The above five items are related to the physiological aspect of human life.
Now we want to talk about the psychological aspect of a person. In other
words, we want to talk about the question of personality.

For a marriage to be healthy, there must be not only natural attraction but
also compatibility or agreement in personality. One can also say that there
must be compatibility in interests or likes. If there is no compatibility in
personality or interests in a marriage, sooner or later there will be no peace
in the family, and both parties will suffer. A new believer must realize that
natural attraction is temporary, but compatibility of character is something
that lasts.

Among unbelievers, the kind of love described in their romance novels is

always a matter of natural attraction. But this is not the kind of love spoken
of in the Bible. Love does include natural attraction, but natural attraction
may not be love. There is natural attraction in love, but there is also
compatibility of personality in love. There are two basic conditions or, you
may say, two basic ingredients of love: One ingredient is natural attraction;
the other ingredient is compatibility and similarity of personality and
interests.

Someone may be attractive to you as far as outward appearance is concerned,

but you may not like him at all because what he does is totally the opposite
of your taste. He may not like what you like, and you may not like what he
likes. This shows that there is an incompatibility in personality.

1. Warm versus Cold

A husband or wife may be very affectionate in a family. He or she may like
people very much and be very generous to people. He or she may go out of
the way to provide warm hospitality to people. But the other party may be
quite cold toward people. He or she may not be completely void of love, but
an equal amount of affection is not found in him or her. Immediately, we can
see that the problem is with their personalities. Suppose you are a person
who is very affectionate toward others. You are generous and warm. Suppose
you marry a husband who is also very loving and affectionate towards people.
Both of you will find great interest in meeting people. You will feel that life is
easy. Whenever you turn to the west, you will find the tide flowing to the
west. You will always be riding in the direction of the tide. But if the other
party is cold and frigid toward people, he will pull in one direction while you
pull in the other direction. You will feel that you are tolerating him, and he
will feel that he is tolerating you. When you behave a certain way, he may feel
that it is too much and that he is tolerating you. When he behaves a certain
way, you may feel that he is too stingy and that you are tolerating him. This
is not very good.

2. Kind versus Harsh

Some people are not only affectionate but also kind. They do not want to hurt
or offend anyone and are always considerate of others. If one chooses a
husband or a wife who is also kind and considerate, who is happy to preserve
the pride of others, and who never wants to embarrass others, he or she will
always feel happy and optimistic. When he moves in one direction, the tide
will seem to follow him in the same direction. Life will be easy for him. But
suppose the other party is totally different. Suppose she always turns the
opposite direction and is harsh and demanding toward everyone and
everything. He will face many problems in his marriage. Sometimes a person
is kind not only toward people but also to cats and dogs. If such a one has a
wife who always beats the dogs and cats, they will face problems. Some
people are kind to people as well as to things. Others are insensitive to
everything, not just to cats and dogs but also to people. It is quite a big
problem for two persons with different personalities to live together. It is
hard for one side to pull in one direction and the other side to pull in the
other direction.

3. Generous versus Stingy

Consider another example. A brother may be very generous towards people
and willing to give away anything. If a brother or sister comes to his house,
he will bring out everything he has in the house. But suppose such a one
marries a wife who cringes whenever people come for a meal, and who is
worried that others will eat everything that she has. One would expect
difficulties in such a marriage. This is not a moral failure but a personality
problem. The personality of some people is such that they cringe when they
have to share a little food with others. When guests come, they purposely
serve poor things and hold back the good things. This is clearly a problem of
personality, not of morality. This person always leans in one direction. If the
generous person marries a wife who likes to give away everything just as he
does, he will feel that he is sailing downstream; he will be happy. But if there
is any incompatibility in personality, the two sides will be pulling in opposite
directions, and the couple will live in heated arguments all the time. This will
become quite a problem.

4. Candid versus Cautious

Some people are very candid by nature. They not only are frank but they also
like to be candid. Other people are cautious by nature. They not only are
cautious themselves but they also like other people to be cautious. Problems
will occur if these two come together. Please remember that there is nothing
wrong with being candid, and there is nothing wrong with being cautious.
This is not a problem of morality but of personality. Here is a person who is
cautious, quiet, and introspective. Next to him is one who is candid and open
in everything. The cautious one should not criticize the candid one, nor
should the candid one criticize the cautious one. Both are wonderful people.
This is not a matter of morality but of personality. One loves to be candid,
while the other loves to be cautious. The candid one feels that the other
person is too slow, while the cautious one feels that the other person moves
too fast. Both suffer. If a candid person meets another candid person, both
will go on happily. If a cautious person meets another cautious person, they
will also get along with each other smoothly.

5. Thoughtful versus Impulsive

Some people are very thoughtful; they weigh everything carefully and
consider it thoroughly. But others are impulsive in everything they do. They
act first and think and talk about it later. Again, this is not a matter of
morality but of personality. A thoughtful one should not criticize an
impulsive one. Rather, he should find a thoughtful wife. An impulsive one
should find an impulsive wife. In this way, both will live in peace. If a
thoughtful person marries an impulsive wife, it will create quite a problem
because each one will be pulling in the opposite direction.

6. Exact versus Careless in Words

Some people are very exact in what they say. They are so exact that their
exactness terrifies others. Every word they say has to be exactly right. Other
people may not be inaccurate on purpose, but they are not as careful in their
words. Again, this is not a matter of morality but of personality. If you put
these two kinds of people together, one may criticize the other for telling lies
while the other may say that it is better to keep quiet than to speak as the
other one does. To be fair, if every word had to be so accurate, perhaps no
more than twenty sentences a day would be spoken in the world. You can see
that incompatibility of personality is indeed a big problem.

7. Active versus Quiet

Take another example. Some people are very energetic, while others are very
quiet. Both are right since this is not a matter of morality. But when a very
lively person marries a very quiet one, even though one is a brother and the
other a sister, it will no doubt spell trouble for the marriage. Sooner or later,
a personality problem will be turned into a moral problem. They will magnify
each other’s peculiarity. The quiet husband will feel that his wife is too
outgoing. The lively wife, in turn, will feel that she has married an insensitive
man. A big problem will arise in this family. I know a husband who likes to
stay at home, but he is married to a sister who likes to visit others in this
place and that place. The husband finds it unbearable. He cannot stand going
from place to place with his wife all the time, yet he feels imprisoned at home
if he does not follow her. When he comes home, she is never there. He
continuously tries to endure. If the situation goes on unresolved in this way,
trouble will break out. Again, this is not a matter of morality but of
personality; it is something that was overlooked at the time of their marriage.

8. Clean versus Sloppy

One sister cares very much about cleanliness at home. Everything in her
house has to be very clean. She walks behind her husband with a rag and
cleans up everything. But the husband takes pleasure in sloppiness. One day
I visited their home and found her husband throwing a pillow on the floor,
turning over a chair, and shuffling everything around. I asked him why he
was doing this. He said, “I am so happy today because my wife has gone to
her parents’ house.” He had been so frustrated by her cleanliness that he
reveled in sloppiness. This is not a matter of morality. There is nothing wrong
with being a little neat, and there is nothing wrong with being a little sloppy.
 9. Compatibility of Personality Being
the Most Important Factor in Maintaining
a Good Marriage
A new believer must see that there are two basic conditions for love. One is
natural attraction, and the other is compatibility of personality. When you
want to choose a mate, you must first choose one who attracts you. A
marriage that has no attraction will not work. Second, choose one whose
personality is similar to yours. The mature ones should help the young ones
to know their personality. Do not neglect the matter of compatibility in
personality just because there is natural attraction.

I know of a couple in Shanghai who are always quarreling. I asked the

husband why he married her in the first place. He replied that when he first
saw her, he was attracted by her dark eyes. This is natural attraction. He just
liked her dark eyes. But soon after they were married, the whiteness and the
darkness of her eyes were forgotten. He only remembered that she liked to
be tidy, and that he did not like to be tidy. She liked to be cheerful, but he
liked to be quiet. She liked to be fast, while he liked to be slow. Please
remember that personality is something permanent, while natural attraction
is something temporal.

In choosing their mates, young people should not consider only natural
attraction. No doubt there should be natural attraction. I like to see young
brothers and sisters paying attention to natural attraction. There is nothing
wrong with this. But natural attraction is not enough. You must consider also
the compatibility of your personalities. This is something altogether
different. If personalities clash, natural attraction will soon disappear.
Natural attraction may induce you into a marriage, but it will never sustain
your marriage. These are actual problems that we must be made aware of.

Some have said that a person can have two heavens or two hells. A person
may go up to one heaven and down to one hell. He may also go up to two
heavens or down to two hells. The happiest place on earth is a happy family;
it is like heaven. The most terrible place on earth is a sad family; it is like hell.
When a family is happy, one feels as if he were in heaven. When a family is
sad, one feels as if he is in hell. A believer may have one heaven and one hell.
An unbeliever may have two hells. He has a hell when he lives on earth and
another hell when he dies and goes into hell. There are many Christians who
live in hell today but who will go to heaven in the future. They live this way
because the harmony of personality is missing from their families.
I recall the case of a brother whose wife fought and quarreled with anyone
anywhere. She could be very spiritual when she wanted to be, praying
beautifully and acting very spiritual. But when her temper flared up, no one
could talk to her. She fought with her neighbors all the time, and no one could
do anything about it. Her husband had to go around and apologize to this
and that family all the time. Every time he came home, he had to find out
whom she had quarreled with in order to apologize to that person. She was
in trouble every day. Actually, if that brother had married a quiet sister or
that sister had married an active brother, everything would have been fine.
When an energetic sister marries a quiet husband or a quiet brother marries
an active wife, trouble certainly will arise in the family.

10. Not Expecting

the Other’s Personality to Change
Many people have a wrong concept. They think they can change someone
else’s personality. Please remember that this is not possible. It takes a long
time for even the Holy Spirit to change a person. How much can you do?
Please remember that marriage does not bring with it the power to change a
person’s nature. Many brothers and sisters know that their spouses have a
different personality, and they want to change it. But after two or three years,
they find that there is still no change. If there is one hope in the world that is
doomed to failure, this is certainly the one. I have yet to see a husband who
has managed to change his wife. Neither have I seen a wife who has changed
her husband. I once said that in marriage, one can only purchase ready-made
goods, not made-to-order goods. Whatever a person is, that is what you get.
You cannot order a person to be a certain way. You must first find out if you
can accept such a brother’s or sister’s personality. You can only find out one’s
present personality; you cannot expect to change it. If you harbor such a
hope, you will surely be disappointed. We hope that God’s children will pay
attention to this matter. This will spare them many headaches.

During the ten years that I worked in Shanghai, one-fourth of my time was
spent in counseling family problems. I advise you emphatically not to put
brothers and sisters with different personalities together. If they are put
together, the result will certainly be serious. Children from such families will
certainly be affected also, because they will not know which side to take when
the parents are on a see-saw. It is also clear that it will not be easy for their
children to be saved either.
 G. Weaknesses
Now let us consider the matter of weaknesses. The above discussion referred
to differences in personality and did not involve any moral issue. But human
beings have not only differences in personality, but also weaknesses.

1. Moral Weaknesses
What is a weakness? Some are lazy, while others are diligent. Diligence is a
virtue, while laziness is a weakness. Some are accurate with words; accuracy
is a virtue. Others not only are a little careless with their words but also
constantly lie. They love to exaggerate what they say. This is a weakness in
personality. Some are tight-lipped and do not like to talk much; this is a
virtue. Others like to criticize and correct others; this is a weakness. They
gossip about this and that family. This is not a matter of personality, which
does not involve moral values. When a character trait involves a moral issue,
it is a weakness, and it needs to be dealt with before God. Some people do
things quickly while others act slowly; this is a matter of personality. But if a
person is so quick that he becomes impatient, he has a weakness. Some
people are so slow that they become untrustworthy. This is also a weakness.
Being impatient is a weakness, and being so slow as to become untrustworthy
is a weakness as well.

2. Discovering the Other’s Weaknesses

What should one do about the weaknesses of the other party? This is rather
hard for any outsider to decide. Before young brothers and sisters marry,
they need to find out each others’ weaknesses. They must do this before they
are engaged, not after. It is wrong to look for weaknesses after you are
married; it is, in fact, very foolish to do this. It is too late to look for
weaknesses after you are married. It is better for the husband and the wife to
be as foolish and deaf as possible. If you try to discover the other person’s
weaknesses after marriage, you are too late, because you are already living
together every day. You will see many things without even trying. If you
purposely try to search for weaknesses, you will surely find more. The
purpose of marriage is not to provide you with an opportunity for finding
faults. Do not open your eyes after you are married. Before you are engaged,
while you are still choosing your mate, do not be blinded by natural
attraction. Do not allow natural attraction to veil you from the weaknesses of
the other person. Do not be so hot as to overlook the weaknesses in the other
party.
 3. Some Weaknesses Being Unbearable
Let us consider the problem of weaknesses. There are two ways to deal with
weaknesses. Some weaknesses are intolerable. They are like difficult
personalities, too hard for some to accommodate. A marriage will not be
successful if there is the presence of such weaknesses. Others weaknesses are
bearable. After considering, one may decide that he can live with such
weaknesses. Of course, he must try to discover the other party’s weaknesses
before they are engaged. Some try to discover their spouse’s weaknesses after
they are married. It is useless to find faults then; this will only damage the
family, because no one can change those weaknesses. It is impossible to
change them. One must take note and consider well before he enters into a
marriage whether or not he is able to live with the other party’s weaknesses.

4. Weaknesses Should Not Be the Same

Here is a word of reminder: Do not presume that those with similar
weaknesses can get along with one another. Many people think that those
with different weaknesses cannot get along with one another, and that those
with similar weaknesses can. This cannot be farther from the truth. Some
couples who have the same weaknesses argue, quarrel, and fight with each
other all the time. One has a hot temper, and the other also has a hot temper.
You may think that it is wonderful for both to have the same temperament.
Actually difficulty is compounded when both have the same weaknesses.
When there is a difference in personality, the conscience is not involved.
When there is a matter of weakness, the conscience is involved. When both
the husband and the wife are believers, any weakness in one party will be
consciously felt by both parties. The burden of responsibility will be
compounded, and the problems will be compounded as well. This is why we
say that a couple should have similar personalities but different weaknesses.

I remember a husband who carelessly left things around the house; he never
tidied up his room. His wife was the same. One made messes and the other
made more messes. You would think that they would have been at peace with
each other. But the two of them quarreled every day. The husband would say,
“Do you not think that leaving things around like this is messy?” The wife
would reply, “Why do you not tidy them up? Do you not know that I am very
busy?” Please remember that one burden is heavy enough; two become
unbearable. The result will be a compounding of family problems. Never
assume that trouble will be less when both parties have the same weaknesses.
Similar weaknesses result in problems. In fact, the problems will be doubled.
When the weakness is with one person, he can bear it alone. But when both
have the same weakness, the burden becomes too heavy. It is hard enough
for one to bear his own burden. It is impossible for him to bear the other’s
burden on top of his own.

Young brothers and sisters should realize that some weaknesses can be
tolerated even when found in both parties. But some weaknesses are
compounded when they are found in both parties. Such weaknesses are
intolerable. It is better that the weaknesses of the two persons be different.
Of course, sometimes even couples with similar weaknesses can get along
with each other; there is no rigid rule concerning this. One simply has to
watch for himself.

H. Character
For a marriage to be successful, both parties must have character attributes
that the other one appreciates. The wife must not despise the husband, and
the husband must not despise the wife. Once there is contempt of any kind,
the family is finished. Both sides should respect the other’s character. The
husband must respect his wife’s character, and the wife must respect her
husband’s character. Hence, we have not only the matter of personality and
weakness, but also the matter of character.

For example, it is excusable for a wife to hide things occasionally when she
speaks. But it becomes a problem of character if she lies all the time. Some
husbands by nature are somewhat selfish; they care only for themselves and
not others. But they cannot carry their selfishness so far as to lose their wife’s
respect. Within a family, the husband must have some character traits that
the wife respects. This is different from the matter of compatibility of
personality. It is difficult enough for a couple to adjust to friction and conflict
in personality. If, in addition to this, there is any contempt in character, the
very foundation of the family is shaken. Then nothing can be done to save
the situation.

Sometimes we see husbands who are very obnoxious. At other times we see
wives who are very calculating; they will do things that are profitable only to
themselves, and nothing more. Clearly these are character flaws. They are
not merely weaknesses. This is a matter of contempt and disrespect. Once
such elements exist, the basic ingredient of a marriage is gone. This is why
we have to ask ourselves whether we can tolerate the other side’s character.
Some people are quite cruel. They are harsh to others, no matter who they
may be. They are insensitive to others’ problems and feelings. They only want
to express their own feelings, caring little if others are hurt. This is not a
matter of incompatibility of personality but of a character flaw which opens
the door for disrespect.

Some people have no control over themselves. They do not have any self-
discipline. They are wild in everything, including their temper. When a
problem arises, their anger flares up. Why does a person lose his temper? He
loses his temper because he is selfish and because he is only after his own
satisfaction. In the final analysis this is not a problem of temperament or
weakness, but a problem of character. Once this element comes in, contempt
and disrespect also come in.

Therefore, before two persons marry each other, they have to discover the
admirable attributes in the other party. This is particularly true with
marriages among God’s children; there should always be some noble traits
on each side. If a man has nothing in him that others can appreciate, this
man is not qualified to marry. You must have at least one or two noble traits
in the eyes of God before the other party will respect you.

I. Getting Along with Others

There is another aspect of personality and human consideration that we have
to take care of. When you contemplate marrying a person, you must ask
whether that person can get along with others. Marriage means a living
together, and it is a big question whether or not a person can live together
with others. Some people are by nature very individualistic. They cannot live
together with others. If a brother is at odds with his father, mother, brothers,
and sisters, you can only expect an unhappy marriage if you marry him. If a
sister cannot get along with anyone and is always in conflict with others, you
can be sure that there will be little happiness if you take her for your wife.

Everyone who wishes to marry must meet one basic requirement—he (or
she) must be able to get along with others. Because marriage is a living
together, if one cannot get along with others, he surely cannot live with you.
If he cannot get along with others, how can you expect him to get along with
you? The chances are very slim; it will be very difficult for him to change. If
he has no respect for anyone in the world, can you imagine that he will have
respect for you? If you wait until you are married, you will see that he also
will have no respect for you. It is difficult for such ones to marry. In choosing
a spouse, you must make sure that the other party has the basic human
factors necessary for a marriage. You must find out whether he can get along
with others.

Suppose a sister has reached the age of marriage. If she goes around and tells
everybody, “My mother is terrible. My father is terrible. My brothers and
sisters are all terrible. Everyone in the family treats me terribly,” you can be
sure that she will complain later; she will say also that you are terrible. Such
a person lacks the ability to get along with others.

Please remember that if you can get along with others easily, the chance of
success in marriage will be high. If you cannot live with anyone, the chance
of success will be low. I am not saying that no one will be able to live with
such a person. But I am afraid that it will not be an easy thing. This is a very
important factor.

J. Being Consecrated
We have covered the matter of physical health, the matter of character, and
the matter of the soul. Now we want to cover the matter of the spirit.
Spiritually, a person must be consecrated to the Lord.

We should not marry a non-Christian. However, more is involved than just

this; we should have a higher vision before the Lord. A successful marriage
must not only be one with natural physical attractions and compatible
personalities, but also be one in which both parties have the same spiritual
goals. This means that both must want to serve the Lord. Both must be totally
given to the Lord. One lives for God; so does the other. In all things great or
small, both are for the Lord. This means that there is the need of
consecration. Consecration is more important than good character. Once a
couple is consecrated, the marriage will have a solid foundation. In such a
marriage both sides will have a strong common interest before God.

In such a family, there is no question as to who should be the head and who
should obey. Instead, both will say that Christ is the Head, and they will both
obey Him. Then there is no need for any side to save his “face.” Many times
the wife argues with the husband, not because she is right or he is wrong, but
because she wants to save her “face.” It has nothing to do with right or wrong.
She is merely trying to “save face.” But the question of “face” will not come
in if both are consecrated. Both can lose their “faces” before the Lord. Both
can confess their faults before the other. We are those who are for God’s will.
Any problem can be resolved if both parties are for God’s will.

In a family, if both the husband and the wife are fully consecrated to the Lord,
and if both of them serve the Lord in one accord, the chance for such a
marriage to be successful will be very high. Even though there may be natural
differences, and even though physical attraction may fade away, none of
these will become hindrances to them, and the family will still go on in a
positive way.

These ten factors have to be considered in choosing a mate. They can be

classified under physical (or outward) attributes, psychological (or
character) attributes, and spiritual attributes. We must take care of all three
things. We have to pay attention to a person’s physical attributes,
personality, and spirituality. All three must be placed in their proper
perspective. We must consider all three things and study them one by one.

III. PAYING ATTENTION TO CHOOSING A MATE

Before you consider marrying someone or entering into an engagement, you
should jot down all his attributes one by one. What about the natural
attraction of such a person? What about his physical health? What about his
heredity? How is his family? Everything needs to be written down in detail.
This is a serious matter. Do not do it carelessly. You should write down every
attribute one by one. What is his personality like? What are his weaknesses?
How many attributes can you find in such a person that you can appreciate?
Is he able to get along with people? How well does he relate to his family?
How is his relationship with his friends? Does he have any friends? Please
remember that those who have no friends make very poor wives and
husbands. A person who cannot relate well to others has little chance of
relating well to you. You must observe privately how he treats people, friends,
family members, younger brothers and sisters, children, and parents. Then
you need to know whether he is fully consecrated and whether he wants to
live for the Lord. Find out how much he has given up for the Lord and how
much spiritual experience he has.

The mature ones who oversee the young ones must also write down every
point concerning the two persons and make a comparison. They will then
have an idea of whether or not the two will quarrel or argue in the future.
Many become aware of problems only after the problems have surfaced. We
must study this carefully beforehand. This will tell us the chance of a couple’s
future success.

I would like to say emphatically that the family life of our next generation has
much to do with the church life of our next generation. I want to speak a word
to the elderly ones: You must take care of the families of our next generation.
The church life of the next generation will be strong only if you take care of
this matter well. If our next generation has terrible families, the church will
suffer great drawbacks. Today those who already have families have no way
to change their families. We can only ask them to exercise more forbearance,
endurance, care, and love. But we hope that those who are not yet married
will exercise themselves to build up a good family. This is indeed an excellent
endeavor. In the coming days may God bestow His grace to the church so
that many young families will be raised up in which both the husband and
the wife serve the Lord and walk in His way together in one accord. How
beautiful such a picture will be!

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
HUSBAND AND WIFE
Scripture Reading: Col. 3:18-19; 1 Pet. 3:1-7; Eph. 5:22-23
We have already covered the subject of choosing a mate. That word was for
the young brothers and sisters. However, not everyone among us is young.
In the future some new believers among us will be married ones. The Bible
has clear teachings for those who are married. Some portions of the Word
contain teachings for husbands, and some portions contain teachings for
wives. Before a person is married, he should do his best to choose someone
with the fewest number of weaknesses. However, after a person is married,
he or she has to learn to behave in a way that avoids causing problems to the
family or the church.

I. SPENDING TIME TO LEARN TO BE

A HUSBAND OR A WIFE
The first thing a married person must realize is that it is a serious matter to
be a husband or a wife. Everyone needs a certain amount of preparation
before taking a job. For example, a doctor needs five, six, or seven years of
training before he can practice medicine. A teacher has to spend a few years
in a teaching college before starting to teach. An engineer also needs to spend
four years in the university before launching his career. Even a nurse needs
to study for three years in preparation for her career. But the interesting
thing is that no one spends a day learning how to be a husband or a wife. It
is no wonder that there are so many bad husbands and wives. They have
never sat down to consider how to be a proper husband or a proper wife. I
would be very hesitant and uneasy about asking someone to treat my illness
if he had never studied medicine. Likewise, I would be very hesitant and
uneasy about using a nurse who had never studied nursing before. I would
be fearful and uneasy about hiring a teacher who had never been trained. If
I wanted to build a house, I would only want to hire a civil engineer. I would
worry and be afraid if he were not a trained civil engineer. Similarly, I have
doubts about those who have become husbands or wives without ever being
trained.

Our parents never taught us to be husbands or wives. When we grow up, we

find a job. When we have the ability to support a family, we find a partner
and get married. Please remember that many difficulties arise between the
husband and the wife because neither has undergone any preparation. When
two persons are drawn into a marriage unprepared and suddenly find
themselves husband and wife, how can they expect anything but problems
for the family? Everything we do with our life requires training; we dare not
jump into anything rashly. We prepare for our work and try to learn
something about it before we plunge into it.

We must see that no job is more difficult than the job of being a husband or
a wife. All jobs have fixed working hours. This is the only job that takes up all
twenty-four hours of the day. Every job has a retirement age except this one.
This is a very serious vocation and a very important one.

For now we will put the past behind us. Even though you were not prepared
when you became a husband or a wife, you have nevertheless become one.
You are already married and have reached this point in your life. Perhaps
your looseness in the past has ruined your family. Today you have to see that
the family is a very serious matter. You have to go back and learn your lessons
all over again. The husbands need to go back to learn how to be husbands,
and the wives need to go back to learn how to be wives.

It may not work for a person to try to apply the same earnestness he adopts
in his job to his family. The truth, however, is that many people are far more
careless toward their family than they are toward their jobs. This invites
inevitable failure into their family. We have to pour all of our energy into
building our family. We have to be more conscientious with it than with our
jobs. If we behave carelessly and do not consider being a husband or a wife a
serious occupation, our family will end up with nothing but failure. If we
want our family to be a successful family, we have to cherish it as a job and
spend time with it. We have to try our best to make it work. This is serious
business, and we have to make it work at all costs. Those who are careless
about their marriage and have no intention of making it a success will never
have a successful marriage.

All married brothers and sisters must learn this lesson. We must spend time
before the Lord to deal with this matter in a responsible way. This is a more
difficult job than any other job. We need to spend time before the Lord to
learn our lesson well. I hope that we will start learning it today.

II. CLOSING ONE’S EYES

TO THE OTHER PARTY’S WEAKNESSES
After a person is married, he should learn to close his eyes so that he does
not see. In a marriage two persons live together as husband and wife. They
do this day by day, year by year, without any leave of absence or separation.
There is plenty of time for each one to find the other person’s weaknesses
and faults. You have to learn before the Lord to close your eyes the day you
are married. The purpose of a marriage is not to discover the weaknesses in
the other party; it is not to discover the other party’s flaws. Your wife is not
your student, and your husband is not your disciple. There is no need for you
to seek out his faults in order to “help” him. Never look for weaknesses and
never try to correct. If you take heed to this warning, your family will be on a
firm foundation.

As I mentioned earlier, one has to open his eyes wide to discern and consider
all the faults of the other party carefully before entering into a marriage. But
after he is married, he should not try to know anything more. From the day
he is married, he should forget about trying to understand anything. If he
tries to find faults, he can easily find some. However, God has put the two
together. They may have the next fifty years together. Each side will have all
the opportunities he or she wants to find out the weaknesses of the other
party during those fifty years. This is why the first thing to do after being
married is to close your eyes to the other person’s faults and weaknesses. You
know a great deal already. If you intentionally try to find out more, you will
end up with nothing but trouble.
When God puts two persons together as husband and wife, His intention is
that there be submission and love between the two. He has no intention for
them to discover each other’s faults or to correct each other. God has not
made you a teacher or a master. None of the husbands are the teachers of
their wives, and none of the wives are the masters of their husbands. No one
needs to correct her husband, and no one needs to correct his wife. Whatever
type of person you have married, you should expect them to continue in the
same way. There is no need to look at the faults and weaknesses of others
and try to change them. A motive of trying to change the other party is
basically wrong. Those who are married must learn to close their eyes. Learn
to love the other party. Do not try to help or correct them.

III. LEARNING TO ACCOMMODATE

One must learn to accommodate as well. This is the first lesson one must
learn after he is married. No matter how much alike the husband and the
wife are, and no matter how compatible their characters are, sooner or later
they will discover many differences between them. They will have different
opinions, different likes and dislikes, different ideas, and different
inclinations. Sooner or later they will discover many differences between
them. This is why a person must learn to accommodate the other person as
soon as he is married.

What does it mean to accommodate? The meaning of accommodation is to

meet someone halfway. We need to take note that it is something mutual.
The best thing is for both sides to give in. If it is not possible for both sides to
give in, at least one side must try to go halfway. Even if one sees many
problems, he should still try to move away from his own position to the other
party’s position. It is best to move over completely. But at least one should
meet the other halfway. In other words, after two people are married, both
must learn to change at least half of everything they do. It is best to change
completely. But at least they should change half of what they do. Always go
out of your way to meet the other party. To accommodate means to not insist
on one’s own view and to be willing to drop one’s ideas. A person may have a
certain view, but he compromises his view for the other’s sake.

If a young couple would learn to accommodate each other during the first
five years of their marriage life, they would have a peaceful and happy family
after these five years. Accommodation means one side goes halfway and the
other side also goes halfway. It means one side moves halfway across and the
other side also moves halfway across. The husband gives in to the wife, and
the wife gives in to the husband. If neither party knows the meaning of this
during the first five years of their marriage life, it will be difficult for the
family to go on harmoniously. Marriage is not a simple matter. In order to
have a good marriage, one must put much effort into it to make it good.

Accommodating others means sympathizing with the other person’s

limitations. Some people are very sensitive to sound. Others are very afraid
of silence. Some cannot stand noise, while others cannot live without noise
and excitement. That is why you have to learn to accommodate. If one person
likes to be quiet and the other person lowers his voice for this one’s sake, both
have gone halfway, and there is accommodation. Suppose one is extremely
clean, while the other is extremely lazy. If the lazy one has to go along with
the clean one all the way, he will throw down his pillows and clothes and sing
for joy when his wife leaves for her parents. On the other hand, if the tidy
wife always has to go along with the lazy one, she will want to move back to
her parents’ home when she cannot put up with the mess.

As Christians we should learn to deny ourselves. Self-denial makes one an

accommodating person. Both the husband and the wife have to learn to
accommodate each other. In this way the family will have peace, even if they
do not yet have happiness. If there is self-denial in the family, there will
surely be accommodation in the family. If there is no self-denial in the family,
no one will be accommodating.

Accommodation is needed not only in a few things or a dozen things but even
in hundreds and thousands of things. We cannot expect anything less. This
is the discipline God gives to us in the family. Because we have to
accommodate others in the family, we are disciplined through the family.
This is the way we learn discipline. We must learn to put our views aside and
accept the views of others. We must learn to accommodate.

IV. LEARNING TO APPRECIATE

THE VIRTUES OF THE OTHER PERSON
Once we are married, we have to learn to appreciate each other’s virtues. In
a family we need to learn to close our eyes to each other’s faults and
accommodate each other on the one hand, and we need to learn to appreciate
each other’s virtues on the other hand. This means that when the other
person does something good, we must be sensitive to it. If a husband does
not know how to appreciate his wife or vice versa, he or she opens up a big
gap in the family. This does not mean that the husband has to flatter the wife
or that the wife has to do something special to please the husband. It means
that both must learn to appreciate the other person’s virtues, goodness, and
beauty.

I know a brother who is taking responsibility in a local church. All the

brothers and sisters in that locality think that he is a very good brother. But
if you ask his wife about him, she will tell you that he is hopeless. The sister
constantly criticizes her husband, saying that he is not qualified to be a
responsible brother. In that local church, all the brothers and sisters are
submissive, with one exception—his wife. You will find that this kind of
family will not go on well.

We also know of cases involving the opposite circumstance, in which

everyone says that a certain sister is very good, but her husband does not.
One year I was in Peking talking to a few people. Everyone there spoke highly
of a certain sister. Halfway through the conversation, her husband came in.
As the conversation about the sister went on, her husband remained silent.
He seemed to be saying, “You do not know her. I have married the wrong
person.” The thought that one has married the wrong person has destroyed
many families.

A husband must not be behind others in his appreciation of his wife. He may
not need to excel above others in his appreciation, but he must not be behind
others. You are not a proper spouse if your level of appreciation is less than
that of others. If you feel that your husband is wrong, why did you marry him
in the first place? This proves that you were firstly wrong. In order to have a
good family, the husband must know how to appreciate the wife, and the wife
must know how to appreciate the husband. One must not say something bad
while others are saying something good about his or her spouse. You must
discover his or her virtues. You must be sensitive to his or her merits.
Whenever the opportunity arises, you must publicly acknowledge his or her
virtues and speak your feelings. You are not telling lies. You are telling facts.
When you appreciate your husband or your wife, your family will become
more united, and your relationship more solid. If you do not do this, you will
bring many problems to the family. Many misunderstandings and problems
in the family arise as a result of neglecting this matter.
In England, a sister once married a brother, but the brother never said
anything good about her all her life. This sister was always worried, saying,
“I have failed as a wife. I have failed as a Christian.” She worried so much
that she contracted tuberculosis and later died. Before she died, her husband
said to her, “If you die, I do not know what I will do because you have done
so much for me. If you pass away, what will happen to our family?” The wife
asked, “Why did you not say this earlier?” Then she went on, “I have always
felt that I was not good, and I rebuked myself for it. You have never once said
that I was good. I was sad and worried and always thought that I was wrong.
That is why I became sick and am about to die.” This is a true story. The
husband told her how he felt only on her deathbed. Please remember that
there is always a place in the family for kind words. We should learn to speak
more kind words. We should learn to appreciate our wives and our husbands.

I know of some brothers who do not do well because their wives never
appreciate them. The wives always think that their husbands are useless.
They say to their husbands, “Among all the brothers, you are the only useless
one.” These brothers become self-condemning. They say, “I cannot do
anything. My wife says that I am no good. The person who knows me the
most says that I am no good.” As a result, they actually turn out to be no good.
Whether or not one has a happy family life depends not only on closing our
eyes to the others’ weaknesses, but also on finding out the other party’s
virtues and appreciating them. Sometimes we have to tell the other party
about it or acknowledge it in public. If we do this, many problems in the
family will disappear.

V. BEING POLITE
One also must exercise politeness in the family. It is repugnant for anyone to
be impolite to others. You should treat everyone politely, no matter who he
or she may be. No matter how familiar you are with a friend, you should
never give up your manners. As soon as you give them up, you will lose him.
No matter how close you are to others, you will lose them the moment you
give up your manners. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul told us that love does not
behave unbecomingly. Love does not allow anyone to give up his manners.
Please remember that problems at home often arise because of small
matters. It is often at home that a person behaves with unbecoming manners.
Most people think that they can throw away their manners because their wife
or husband is so familiar to them. Please remember that the joy and pleasure
of human relationships have much to do with manners. As soon as you throw
away proper manners, the ugly side of human nature will surface. No matter
how familiar people are with one another, they must maintain proper
manners between them. A brother put it aptly once when he said that
manners are like the lubricating oil in a machine. The machine will run
smoothly only with the lubricating oil. When two persons are together and
manners are lacking, friction will arise and uncomfortable feelings will
breed.

A. Words
In the home, we have to learn to always say, “Thank you” and “I am sorry.”
We should take care of polite words such as thank you, may I, I am
sorry, and please. If you do not know how to use these words, you cannot
even make friends, let alone succeed at home. Christians must remember
that love does not behave unbecomingly. You must learn to say, “I am sorry,”
“Thank you,” and “May I” at home. Learn to speak polite words in the family.

B. Dress
In the family not only must our words be proper and polite, but even the way
we dress has to be proper and tidy. Everyone wants to dress properly in front
of their friends. But one should dress properly in his family as well. You must
dress neatly and be proper with your clothing. Love does not behave
unbecomingly. Do not be loose through familiarity. Once you become
familiar, you become loose, and it is easy to act impolitely. Familiarity breeds
disrespect and contempt. Husbands and wives are already very familiar with
each other. If propriety is absent, more familiarity will breed. Therefore, be
proper in the way you dress yourselves. Do not save your sloppy dress for
wearing at home.

C. Conduct
One must also be proper in his conduct. Whenever one serves something, it
is best to serve it on a plate and to offer it to others with both hands. If he has
only one hand to spare, he should still be proper in his attitude. When he
passes a knife to others, he should avoid pointing the sharp end at others.
When he passes a pair of scissors to others, he should avoid giving the others
the pointed end. When he serves others something, he should present it
properly and not throw it at them. We have to pay particular attention to
these little gestures around the house. The difference between throwing
something at others and handing it to them is only three seconds. But what
a great difference it makes! Therefore, learn to have manners.
I cannot say that I have known many families, but I cannot say that I have
known few either. When a person is discreet at home, his family will have
less problems. I have observed that when a husband and wife are polite to
each other, there is more peace and less noise from the plates and chopsticks.
Where manners are wanting and things are thrown around, the family is full
of friction. If a husband and wife are polite to each other at home, they will
at least be able to maintain a peaceful family.

I believe that if many wives treated their friends the way they behaved in their
family, no one would want to come to their houses. I also believe that if many
husbands treated their colleagues the way they behaved at home, none of
their colleagues would want to work with them. I want to tell the brothers
that their wives have been very tolerant with them. They have tolerated what
no colleagues would tolerate. I also want to tell the wives that their husbands
have been very tolerant with them. If they treated their best friends the same
way, their friends would desert them. Being impolite is an expression of
crudeness. No Christian may be crude. A person who has learned the proper
lessons will never be an impolite person.

D. Voice
There is another factor crucial to our manner—our voice. We may say similar
things, but the way we say it may be different. Our tone can be different.
When a boss speaks to his subordinates, he has one kind of tone. When
friends speak to friends, they have another kind of tone. When people are in
love, there is love in their tone of voice. When a person hates, there is hatred
in his tone of voice. The problem with most people today is that they have
exhausted their nice tone of voice before they get home. When they come
home they have only an ugly tone of voice left. We are polite to our colleagues
in the office, we are tolerant of the patients in the hospital, and we speak
carefully to students in the school. But we speak bluntly when we are at
home. If you spoke in the office with the tone of voice you have at home, you
would be chased out of your office in two days. Many people have a very
crude tone of voice at home. They use the crudest language in their homes.
It is no wonder that they cannot maintain a proper family life.

We must see that the family will not be peaceful as long as the tone of voice
is wrong. Any tone of voice that is improper, strong, harsh, or proud must
not be allowed in the family. Any tone of voice that is self-pitying, self-loving,
or that gives the impression of a self-pronounced martyr must not be found
in the family. If you speak in other places with the tone of voice that you use
at home, you will ruin your career. Yet you allow such a tone of voice to
remain in the family. It is no wonder that you are experiencing trouble at
home. Therefore, we need to learn to be polite. Love does not behave
unbecomingly, even in one’s tone of voice. Do not speak loosely. If one is
careless with his tone of voice in the family, his family will not go on well.

VI. ALLOWING LOVE TO GROW

In order for a family to go on well, love must grow. One must not allow love
to die. Often young people ask, “Is it possible for love to die?” I will answer
today, “Yes, love can die, and it dies easily.” Love is like anything organic; it
needs feeding, and it needs food. Love dies without food. If you starve it, it
will die. But if you feed it, it will grow.

Love is the foundation of a marriage. It is also the foundation of the family.

Love leads two people into marriage, and it keeps them together in the
family. Love grows easily if you feed it properly. However, it dies easily if you
starve it. Many people love each other before they are married, and so they
marry one another. But after they are married, they begin to starve their love,
and their love gradually dies.

Marriage without love is a painful thing. A family that is without love is an

even more painful thing. If a family is without love, it may not feel the pain
of it now. It may not feel anything before the couple reaches middle age. But
when they become old, you will find that something is wrong with this family;
it is too cold! The difference between a family that has love and one that has
no love is very great. Learn to feed your family with love before you reach
middle age. Try your best to feed it and nourish it. If you do this, your home
will be full of love.

Another point which needs much attention: Every married person should
find out the things that the other person is most afraid of. Do not indulge in
your own carefree lifestyle. Every person has something which he or she
hates or fears the most. This hatred and fear may be related to a moral
weakness. Husbands and wives must learn to accommodate each other and
learn to adjust themselves in this case. One person may fear and abhor
something that is not at all related to a moral weakness. In this case the other
party should learn to compromise completely.
Let me give one or two examples. A few years ago I read a story about a
husband in America who sued his wife for abuse. This story may sound
funny, but it is also scary. This husband could not stand monotonous sounds.
He simply could not tolerate them. Originally, he and his wife were deeply in
love, but the marriage came to a crisis after two years. His wife loved to knit,
but he could not bear the sound of it. For the first year or two, he tried to
tolerate it. But gradually it became worse. By the seventh year, he could no
longer tolerate it, and he sued her for mental abuse. The judge declared that
it was not a crime to knit and did not grant them the divorce. The husband
told the judge, “Before I was married, she was like a lamb to me and I loved
her. After a year of marriage, I found out that she was addicted to knitting.
Each time she completed a piece, she would take it apart and knit it back all
over again. She just loves to knit. Today I cannot bear the sight of any woolen
yarn. I cannot even bear the sight of a lamb; as soon as I see one I try to kill
it. If you do not grant me the divorce, do not blame me for killing someone
else’s lamb.” Do you see the problem here? It is a real problem. His wife felt
that there was nothing wrong with her knitting, but her husband hated
knitting so much that he was driven to kill any lamb that he saw.

Please remember that everyone has things that he does not like and things
that he fears. These things may have nothing to do with morality. A person
may hate monotonous sounds; this is his peculiarity. Everyone has his own
peculiarity, which has nothing to do with morality. For any family to be
successful, the husband and the wife must never do anything which the other
party considers obnoxious, even though he or she may not have the same
feeling about it. If you do something which the other party cannot stand, yet
have no feeling about it, you will end up having problems in your family.

In Shanghai I had many occasions to talk to families. During my travels, I

also talked to many families. The things that a family fights over are often
very small matters. To outsiders and friends, they may be small matters. But
when these so-called small matters happen with such frequency that it
exhausts a person’s patience, major problems occur in the family.

We must realize before God that it is a very delicate thing for two persons to
live together. This is not an easy task. Never think that we can be loose in
this. What you consider inconsequential may be intolerable to the other
party. You will be mentally torturing the other party if you do what he or she
cannot stand.
 VII. NOT BEING SELFISH
There is another consideration which is very important for the family: One
must not be selfish. If you are married, you must live like a married person.
You should not live like a bachelor. First Corinthians 7 says that a person
marries to please the other person (vv. 33-34). Selfishness is probably one of
the chief causes of family problems.

I remember a pastor in America who conducted the marriage of more than

750 couples during his lifetime. In every wedding he would advise the
newlyweds to take note of one thing—not to be selfish. After they were
married, they had to love each other and not be selfish. When the pastor was
old, he wrote to all the couples asking how they were doing. All of them
replied that they were able to have a happy family life because they took his
advice about not being selfish. This is very unusual in America. At least
twenty-five percent of American marriages end up in divorce today. But these
seven hundred or more couples had lived happily with each other.

We must see that selfishness is a big problem. We must learn to feel what the
other person feels. We must learn to feel his pain, his joy, his dislikes, his
problems, and his inclinations. A person cannot be a good husband or a good
wife if he or she is subjective. Those who are subjective are selfish. In fact,
self-love is the most subjective thing.

A basic condition for marriage is self-sacrifice. Sacrifice means learning to

please the other person. If you want to please the other person, you must be
objective, not subjective. It is not a matter of your likes and dislikes, but of
the other party’s likes and dislikes. Learn to discover what the other party
likes. Learn to understand him and his views. Learn to stand on his side, and
learn to understand him and yourself from his perspective. Learn to sacrifice
your own feelings, your own opinions, and your own views as much as
possible. Try to understand and know the other side. Pursue self-sacrifice
and love. If you do this, you will have fewer problems in the family.

Many married men think that they are the center of the universe. They think
that the whole universe revolves around them. When they marry a girl, they
receive her into the family for their own welfare and benefit. Those who think
this way surely bring problems to their family. A wife may also think that she
is the center of the universe and that everyone exists for her sake. She may
think that everyone is for her happiness, and that when she found a husband,
she actually found a slave. For her, everyone else is peripheral and she is the
center. She marries a husband only for the purpose of achieving her goal.
Such a marriage will surely fail. It serves nothing but self-interest. Brothers
and sisters, your family will have problems unless you pay attention to this
matter.

VIII. ALLOWING THE OTHER PARTY THE FREEDOM

TO KEEP SECRETS AND HAVE PRIVATE POSSESSIONS
In a home, you must allow the other person to have a certain amount of
freedom and confidentiality. You must also allow the other person to keep
his or her private possessions.

In many homes wives do not have any rights. In other homes husbands do
not have any rights. These kind of families are bound to have problems. You
may be a husband or a wife, but bear in mind one thing: Anybody in the world
can be loved except one type of person—a jailer. No one can love a jailer, a
prison warden, or someone who imprisons him. No one can love those who
take away his freedom. Many husbands are like prison wardens to their
wives. For them to expect their wives to love them is like expecting a prisoner
to love the prison warden; nothing can be more impossible than this. They
hope for the impossible. Many wives are prison wardens to their husbands.
They are asking the impossible when they want their husbands to love them.
Prison wardens are objects of fear, not objects of love. You can never
completely take away a person’s own freedom. Although marriage does take
away a man or a woman’s freedom, not all freedom should be sacrificed. The
husband does not have to give up all his freedom to the wife, nor does the
wife have to give up all her freedom to her husband. If you expect your wife
to give up all her freedom to you, this is the same as saying that you want her
to fear or hate you.

No one likes to lose all of his freedom; this is human nature. Even God gives
us freedom. The biggest proof of this is that there are no fences around hell.
The tree of the knowledge of good and evil was not surrounded by the fiery
sword of the cherubim from the beginning. If God did not want man to have
any freedom, He would have surrounded the tree of the knowledge of good
and evil with the fiery sword of the cherubim in the first place, and Adam and
Eve would not have eaten the fruit. But God does not infringe upon man’s
freedom. For this reason, every husband should leave room for the wife, and
every wife also should leave room for the husband. If you take away all
freedom and make all the decisions, it is only natural that the other party will
fear you. If you are not careful, the other party may go further; he or she may
hate you. As soon as freedom is gone, hatred comes in. At the minimum, fear
will come in.

The husband must learn to give the wife some freedom, and the wife must
learn to give the husband some freedom. Allow the other party to have his
own time, his own money, and his own possessions. Do not think that you
can borrow your wife’s time for your use just because you are her husband.
Both the husband and the wife have to learn to keep their place. When you
waste your wife’s time, you are taking away her freedom. Small matters can
become serious problems later.

Every husband and wife should have his or her own secrets. This is a
legitimate thing. The right hand does not need to know what the left hand
does. If he is the left hand, it is not necessary for you as the right hand to
know what he is doing. Learn to respect individuality. Do not make two
persons one. If you keep this rule, you will avoid many problems in the
family.

IX. THE WAY TO SOLVE FAMILY PROBLEMS

What should we do when there are disputes between the husband and the
wife? How do we solve family disputes? It is inevitable for husbands and
wives to encounter problems and enter into arguments. However, since both
are adults and are children of God, they must learn to know what the other
person’s problem is, and where they differ. Before they can solve any
disputes, they must know where the problem lies.

A. Any Settlement Needing to Be Fair

Any settlement must be fair. If it is not fair, it will not last. Do not expect one
party to endure to the end. One out of ten Christians may endure to the end.
But the other nine will not able to endure to the end. If a solution is not fair,
sooner or later the problem will come back again. When I was in Shanghai, I
arbitrated in some family disputes. Many people wondered why tiny matters
could be blown up to such a big scale. You must realize that when small
matters are blown up, they are not blown up because of the matters
themselves but because of history. It is the accumulation of a series of things
that leads to the explosion. The explosion may be ignited by small matters,
but the underlying cause may have been an accumulation of grudges over the
years. Do not consider any matter to be trivial. Problems surface today
because they were not dealt with in a fair way in the first place, and patience
ran out in the meantime.

B. Holding Conferences
between Husbands and Wives
It is best for outsiders to stay out of family disputes. Let the couple hold their
own conference. Let them settle their own disputes when they get into an
argument. Do not allow news to leak out of the family, while the family itself
is left in the dark. Sometimes, news regarding the husband is heard twenty
miles away and yet he does not know about it himself. Sometimes news about
the wife travels the same way. Let the wife tell her own husband about their
own affairs, and let the husband tell his own wife about their affairs. In this
way both are clear. Our experience tells us that husbands seldom know what
their wives are thinking about and vice versa. Everyone else knows what they
are thinking about, but they themselves do not know what each other is
thinking about. Therefore, allow both to have the opportunity to speak to
each other, and each should wait for the other to finish before he or she
speaks. Do not allow the talkative side to dominate the talk. The husband
must listen to the wife, and the wife must listen to the husband.

Many times, problems are solved as soon as the husband hears a word from
the mouth of his wife, or the wife hears a word from the mouth of her
husband. Many wives will only speak but will not listen to their husbands. If
they would just listen, their problems would go away.

Both husband and wife should sit down and discuss the matter in an
objective way, not in a subjective way. Once they become subjective, the
discussion will fall apart. While they are talking, they should try to find the
right judgment and the right feeling. They may not know who is right, but
they should try to find out what is right. They should try to understand what
each one is saying. Both must do this objectively, not subjectively. Both
should speak, and after speaking, they should pray together. Always seek
settlement through prayer. Ask the Lord to clearly show them where the
problem lies. If they can follow this advice, the problem will be more or less
settled by the time they pray together a second time. Many problems arise
because they have not sat down to listen to each other and to listen
objectively. As soon as they sit down and listen objectively, half of the
problem is solved. As they sit and listen some more, they will discover where
the problem lies.
During the first few years of a marriage life, a family should have this type of
meeting two or three times a year. Each side will then learn where problems
lie and how to deal with them. Many families need to learn this lesson. It will
surely solve many problems within the family.

X. THE NEED FOR CONFESSION AND FORGIVENESS

Between the two persons in the family, there must be confession and
forgiveness. Many mistakes need to be confessed, not just ignored. Do not be
careless about your own faults; you must always confess them. As for the
faults of the other party, you must forgive them.

When a Christian does something wrong, the basic principle is to not cover
it up. It is not enough to just repent for it. When a Christian does something
wrong, the basic principle is to confess. A Christian does not cover up or turn
away from a sin; this is not enough to be called a Christian. When a Christian
does something wrong, he must confess and say, “I was wrong in this.” Every
wrong must be confessed. Whenever there is any wrong between the
husband and wife, there must be confession. One must acknowledge, “I have
done wrong.”

You confess when you are wrong. But what happens when the other person
is wrong? You have to treat it the same way that you treat all Christian
relationships. When there is any wrongdoing, learn to forgive. Do not delve
into the matter and do not be vindictive. Love does not take account of evil.
This means that it does not remember the sins of others. Learn to forgive
them before the Lord. Once you forgive, you should forget. You have to lay
aside what you have forgiven. Do not be like Peter, who tried to count the
number of times others offended him (Matt. 18:21-22). As long as you are
counting, you are not forgiving. Real forgiveness does not count the number
of times one forgives. As soon as you forgive, the matter is over. In order for
a family to go on, there must be forgiveness.

XI. CONSENT OF BOTH PARTIES

IN SEEKING HELP FROM THE CHURCH
When a family has a problem, it must try to solve it first by calling a family
meeting. In some cases one should forgive. In other cases one should confess.
It is difficult for a third party to settle disputes within a family. The disputes
between two persons are most easily solved between themselves. When a
third party is involved, the situation becomes complicated. We should try to
settle any dispute in as simple a way as possible. Do not look for complicated
solutions. Referring a dispute to a third party is like adding mud to an injured
leg. An injured leg without any mud is easily treated. But when mud is added,
it is hard to deal with the wound. Disputes between two persons are more
easily solved when a third party is not involved. As soon as a third party is
informed, the problem is complicated. Therefore, a couple should learn to
solve their own problems and should not try to inform a third party about it.

However, sometimes one needs to refer a certain matter to the church. Please
remember that a person should not bring the matter to the church alone. The
husband must seek the consent of the wife and vice versa before they can
bring their dispute to the church. The two persons must have exhausted their
means of handling the situation, and they now want the church to step in to
help them. They should not come with their quarrels, but as those who are
seeking help from the church. Both must come, and both must speak.
Suppose both are willing to come to the church and say, “We are Christians.
There is something between us. We would like the church to point out what
is wrong.” One will tell the church how he feels, and the other will tell the
church how she feels as well. When both do this, it is easy for the church to
step in to solve the problem. This is not an occasion for vindication. It is not
the time for each person to expose the other’s faults. Neither is it a time to
get into a brawl. The purpose of telling the church is for both parties to
sincerely discover where the problem lies.

XII. LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE THE LORD

In order to settle family problems and to have a good family life, there is also
the need of positive influence. In particular, families with children should set
aside a time for prayer together, a time for waiting upon the Lord and for
fellowshipping about spiritual matters. Both the wife and the husband
should be open to judgment from God’s light concerning many matters.
Neither the husband nor the wife should try to save his or her “face.” Both
should be willing to come under the judgment of God’s light. There should
be many spiritual transactions in the family. The members of the family
should spend much time in prayer and spiritual fellowship together. This is
especially true for families with children. They must seek opportunities to
come more often to the Lord. In order for a family to go on properly, the
husband and the wife should both live before the Lord. As soon as they do
not live before the Lord, their family will have problems.

XIII. THE PROPER CHURCH LIFE BEING MAINTAINED

THROUGH A PROPER FAMILY LIFE
I have mentioned twelve items. I hope that you will learn these lessons in the
family. Do not be careless or foolish in these matters. If you do not learn your
lessons well, family problems will soon become church problems. If a man
cannot live together with his wife at home and cannot be one with her, he can
never be one with the brothers and sisters in the church. This is a fact. A
person cannot possibly fight at home with his wife and come to the church
with hallelujahs in his mouth. One can only be a good brother in the church
when he is a good husband and father at home. A good church life is
maintained through good families. The husbands have to be good and the
wives also have to be good. Then the church life will be free of problems.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
PARENTS
Scripture Reading: Eph. 6:1-4; Col. 3:20
I. THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF PARENTS
Apart from the book of Proverbs, the Old Testament does not seem to give us
much teaching concerning parenting. In the New Testament, however, Paul
wrote something about being parents. Most books in the world teach
children how to be children; not many books teach parents how to be
parents. Most people pay attention to teachings for children. But the New
Testament pays much attention to teachings for parents. It does not pay
much attention to teachings about being children. Although it does teach us
something about children, the emphasis is not on children. Both Ephesians
6 and Colossians 3 put more emphasis on parents than on children. We
should learn to be proper parents because God pays more attention to
parents than to children.

If we try to summarize the words in the Bible concerning parenting, the main
thing parents should do is nurture their children in the teaching and
admonition of the Lord and not provoke them to anger or discourage them.
This means that parents must exercise self-control and must not be loose in
any way. This is Paul’s teaching concerning the subject.

As difficult as it is to be a husband or a wife, I hope you will realize that there

is something more difficult—being a parent. Being a husband or a wife
involves only two people; being a parent involves more. Being a husband or
a wife is a matter of personal happiness; being a parent is something that
affects the well-being of the children of the next generation. The
responsibility over the future of the children of the next generation is on the
shoulders of the parents.

We have to realize how serious this responsibility is. God has placed a
person’s body, soul, and spirit, even his whole life and future, into our hands.
No individual influences another individual’s future as much as parents. No
one controls a person’s future as much as parents. Parents almost have a say
in whether their children will go to hell or to heaven. We must learn to be
good husbands and good wives, but above all we must learn also to be good
parents. I believe that the responsibility of being a parent is more than that
of being a husband or a wife.

Here we will consider the Christian way of parenting. The knowledge of this
will save us from many headaches.

A. Sanctifying Oneself for the Sake of the Children

First, all parents must sanctify themselves before God for the sake of their
children.

1. The Lord Sanctifying Himself

for the Sake of the Disciples
What does it mean to be sanctified before God? The Lord Jesus said, “For
their sake I sanctify Myself” (John 17:19). This does not refer to being holy,
but to whether or not one is sanctified. The Lord Jesus is holy and His nature
is holy. But for the sake of the disciples, He sanctified Himself. There were
many things that He could have done which were not contrary to His own
holiness; nevertheless, He refrained from doing them because of weakness
in the disciples. In many matters the disciples’ weakness directed the Lord
and restricted His freedom. The Lord could do many things, but He did not
do them because He did not want the disciples to misunderstand or be
stumbled. As far as the Lord’s nature was concerned, He often could have
acted a certain way. But He refrained from doing so for the sake of the
disciples.

2. Not Walking in a Loose Way

Similarly, those who have children should sanctify themselves for the sake of
their children. This means that we should refrain from doing many things
which we could do for the sake of our children. There are many things which
we could say, but for the sake of the children we do not say them. From the
day we bring our children into our family, we should sanctify ourselves.

If you do not restrict yourself, you will not be able to restrict your children.
The looseness of those who do not have children, at the most, results in
trouble for themselves. But for those who have children, looseness results in
damage to their children as well as to themselves. Once a Christian brings a
child into the world, he must sanctify himself. Two eyes, sometimes four, are
watching you all the time. They will follow you all your life. Even after you
have left this world, they will not forget what they have seen in you; the things
you do will remain inside of them.

3. Acting according to Standards

The day your son is born is the day you should consecrate yourself. You must
set a standard for yourself in morality, in conduct at home, and in all moral
judgments regarding right and wrong. You must set a high standard for what
is ideal, and you must also set a standard for yourself in spiritual matters.
You must act strictly according to these standards. Otherwise, you will have
problems for yourself, and you will spoil your children. Many children are
ruined by their own parents, not by outsiders. If parents are lacking in
ethical, moral, and spiritual standards, they will ruin their children.

A young person makes decisions and judgments in his future life according
to the training he received during his early years with his parents. A child
may remember or forget what you say, but what he sees surely will remain in
him forever. He develops his sense of judgment from you, and he also
develops his system of values from you.

Every parent must remember that his actions will be repeated in his children;
his actions will not stop with him. When you do not have children, you can
do whatever you like when you are happy and give up and forget about
everything when you are unhappy. But once you have children, you have to
restrict yourself. You have to act according to the highest standard of conduct
whether you like it or not. The whole life of Christian children depends on
the behavior of their parents.

I remember a brother who said something when his son got into trouble. He
said, “He is just a replica of me and I am just he.” When a parent sees
something in his children, he must realize that he is seeing himself. He must
see that they are his very reflection. They are just reflecting him. Through
them he can see himself.

This is why every couple should consecrate themselves anew to God as soon
as they have a child. They should come to the Lord and consecrate
themselves to Him again. From that time forward, the Lord has committed a
human being, with his entire spirit, soul, life, and future, into their hands.
From that day forward, they have to be faithful to the Lord’s commitment.
Some people are committed to a work for one or two years when they sign a
contract. But this work lasts for their entire life; there is no limit to the term
of this commitment.

4. The Sense of Being Entrusted

Among believers in China, no failure is greater than the failure of parenting.
I think this is due to the influence of paganism. Failure in one’s career cannot
be compared to failure in parenting. Even failure in being a husband or a wife
cannot be compared to failure in parenting. A husband or a wife can protect
himself or herself, because both are over twenty years of age. But when a
child is placed in your hands, he cannot protect himself. The Lord has
entrusted a child to you. You cannot go to Him and say, “You have entrusted
five children to me, and I have lost three.” You cannot say, “You have
entrusted ten to me, and I have lost eight.” The church cannot go on if parents
do not have a sense of being entrusted. We do not want to see our children
being rescued back from the world. Suppose we beget children, lose them to
the world, and then try to rescue them back. If we allow this to happen, the
gospel will never be preached to the uttermost part of the earth. Our children
have been taught many teachings, and we have been taking care of them for
years. At least these children should be brought to the Lord. We are wrong if
we do not take care of our children. Please remember that it is the parents’
responsibility to ensure that their children turn out the right way.

Please give me the liberty to say this word. Throughout church history, the
greatest failure among Christians is the failure in parenting. This is
something no one cares much about. The children are young; they are in your
hands and can do nothing much themselves. If you are loose with yourself,
you will also be loose with them. We must realize that parents must exercise
self-control, sacrificing their own freedom. God has committed a human
body, along with his soul, into our hands. If we do not exercise self-control
and give up our freedom, we will have a difficult time answering to our God
in the future.

B. The Need to Walk with God

Second, parents must not only realize their responsibility and sanctify
themselves for the sake of their children; they must also walk with God.

One sanctifies himself for the sake of his children. But this does not mean
that he can be loose and careless when he is by himself. He should not
exercise self-control merely for the sake of his children. The Lord Jesus was
not short of holiness in Himself. He did not sanctify Himself just for the sake
of His disciples. If the Lord Jesus sanctified Himself merely for the sake of
His disciples, but was not holy in Himself, He would have been a total failure.
In the same way, parents must sanctify themselves for their children, but
they themselves must also walk with God.

No matter how much zeal you show in your children’s presence, they can
easily see through you if you are not genuinely zealous. They are very clear,
but you may not be that clear. You may be a very loose person yet act carefully
in their presence. In reality you are not the person you pretend to be. Please
remember that your children can see through you easily. If you are a careless
person and you try to act in a discreet way before your children, they will
easily detect your carelessness and pretension. You must not only sanctify
yourself before them for their sake, but you must also be genuinely holy in
yourself, walking with God as Enoch did.

I would like to draw your attention to the example of Enoch. Genesis 5:21-22
says, “Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah: and Enoch
walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat
sons and daughters.” Before Enoch was sixty-five years old, we do not know
his condition. After he begat Methuselah, we know that he walked with God
three hundred years. Then he was taken up by God. This is a special case in
the Old Testament. Before Enoch begat children, we do not know anything
about his condition. But after Enoch begat Methuselah, the Bible says that
he walked with God. When the burden of the family was upon him, he started
to feel his weakness. He felt that his responsibility was too great and that he
could not manage it by himself. So he began to walk with God. He did not
walk with God just in the presence of his son; he walked with God even when
he was by himself. He felt that if he did not walk with God, he would not know
how to raise his children. Enoch begat not only Methuselah but also many
other children; nevertheless, he walked with God for three hundred years.
His responsibility as a parent did not hinder him from walking with God;
rather, it caused him to walk with God. Eventually, he was raptured. Please
remember that the first person who was raptured was a father. The first
person to be raptured was one who had many children and yet who still
walked with God. The way one bears his responsibility in a family is a
reflection of his spiritual condition before God.

We must see that in order for us to bring our children to the Lord in a genuine
way, we need to be a person who walks with God. We cannot send our
children to heaven merely by pointing our fingers to heaven. We have to walk
in front of them. Only then can we ask our children to follow us. Even though
Christian parents want their children to be better than they are in the hope
that their children will not love the world and will go on in a positive way,
there are many bad families because the parents themselves draw back. If
this is the case, they will never realize their goal no matter how hard they try.
We must remember that the standard of the children cannot be higher than
the standard of their parents. This does not mean that we should set a false
standard. We should have a standard that is genuine and spiritual. If we have
this, our children will come up to our standard.

Please forgive me for saying something that sounds simple and elementary.
I once went to visit a family and saw the mother beating her child because
the child lied. However, both the father and the mother in this family also
lied. I learned that they lied on many occasions. But when their child lied, he
was beaten. Honestly speaking, the child’s real mistake was only a deficiency
in his technique of lying; he was caught lying. The only difference between
the child and the parents was that one was caught lying while the others were
not. It was not a matter of whether one lied, but a matter of skill. One lied,
and he was caught and punished. If you have a double standard, how can you
raise your children? How can you tell your children not to lie when you are a
liar yourself? You must not have one standard for your life and another
standard for your child’s life. This will never work. Suppose your children see
and receive nothing but lies and dishonesty from you. The more you punish
them, the more problems you will have. Some fathers tell their sons, “Wait
until you are eighteen, and I will let you smoke.” Many children say in their
heart, “When I am eighteen, my father will let me lie. I am not yet eighteen,
so I cannot lie. But when I am eighteen, I will lie.” This pushes your children
into the world. You must walk with God as Enoch did, in order to raise your
children as Enoch did. If you do not walk with God, you cannot expect to
raise your children the way Enoch did.

Please remember that your children will learn to love what you love, and hate
what you hate. They will learn to treasure what you treasure, and condemn
what you condemn. You must set a moral standard for yourself and your
children. Whatever your moral standard is, that will be their standard as well.
Your standard of loving the Lord will be their standard of loving the Lord.
There can be only one standard in a family, not two.

I know of a family whose father is a nominal Christian. He never goes to

church, but he wants his children to go every Sunday. Every Sunday morning,
he gives a little money to each of his children and tells them to go to church.
The money is for the children to make offerings. Later in the day, he plays a
game of mahjong with his three friends. His children, however, spend the
money on snack food. They play until the pastor is almost through with his
sermon, and then they sneak into the building to hear a verse or two. When
they go home, they give their father a nice report. They have snacks, they get
to play, and they make a report. This, of course, is an extreme case.

I hope we can see that God has committed our children to us. There can be
only one standard in the family. Whatever we forbid our children to do, we
should not do. There must never be two standards in a family, one for the
children and another for us. We must keep the same standard for our
children’s sake. We must sanctify ourselves to maintain a standard. Once the
standard is set, we must maintain it. I hope we will all take good care of our
children. They are constantly watching us. Whether or not they behave well
depends on whether we behave well. They are not merely listening to us; they
are watching us as well. They seem to know everything. They know if we are
pushing them around, and they know if we are acting in front of them. We
should not think that we can deceive our children. No! They cannot be
deceived. They know how we feel, and they are clear about the true picture.
Whatever we demand of our children, we must take the same position in that
matter.
After Enoch begat Methuselah, he walked with God three hundred years.
What a beautiful picture this is! He begat many children, yet he could walk
with God three hundred years. He was a genuine father without any pretense.
Such a walk is altogether proper in the eyes of God.

C. Both Parents Being of One Mind

Third, the father and mother must be of one mind in order for a family to be
healthy. They must be of one mind in sacrificing their own freedom for God’s
sake and in raising up a strict moral standard. The father must not have one
view while the mother has another. I am talking about the case where both
parents are Christians. It is another matter if one of them is not a Christian.

A father and mother often do not take the same stand. As a result, they give
their children the ground to sin freely. It is not easy for children to have an
absolute standard if their parents are not of the same mind. If the father says
yes in regards to a certain matter but the mother says no, or vice versa, the
children will go to the parent they like and the one they feel most comfortable
with. If it is more convenient to ask the father, they will go to the father, but
if it is more convenient to get an answer from the mother, they will go to the
mother. This immediately creates a big discrepancy.

I know of an old Christian couple who held different views. One would have
one opinion and the other would have another. Their relationship as
husband and wife was poor. As a result, they also became poor parents. Their
children would ask the mother about things she agreed with, and they would
ask the father about things he agreed with. They manipulated their requests
in this way. If the mother came home and asked the children about their
behavior, they would say, “We have checked with Father.” If the father came
home and asked the children about their behavior, they would say, “We have
checked with Mother.” As a result, their children had complete freedom by
manipulating their way through their parents’ inconsistencies. Twenty years
ago I said to the father, “If this kind of condition continues, your children will
surely turn away from the Lord.” He said, “That will not happen.” Today all
of their sons have graduated from college, and some have gone overseas for
further study, but none have believed in the Lord. They all are very
undisciplined.

It is a different matter if one of the parents is an unbeliever. If both are

believers, however, they have to expect God’s heavy hand upon them. If one
is not a believer, either the believing husband or the believing wife can pray
specifically for mercy. But if both are believers and they pull their children in
different directions, they can expect nothing but trouble down the road.

Whenever children get into trouble, the parents must exercise themselves to
be of one mind. They must have the same mind before their children.
Whatever the children ask, the husband’s first answer should be, “Have you
checked with your mother? What did she say? If your mother says yes, you
can do it.” If you are the wife and your children ask for something, you first
should answer, “Have you checked with your father? Whatever he says, I will
say the same.” Whether or not the other person is right is a different story.
You must maintain the same stand. If there is any dispute, both of you must
go into your room to discuss it. Do not open a loophole for them. They will
become loose once there are loopholes. Children always like to look for
loopholes. If the husband sees a fault in the wife or vice versa, any question
as to why something was said to the children must be asked behind closed
doors. It is important to clarify any disagreement, but you must not allow
your children to find loopholes in you. If the parents are of one mind, it will
be very easy to lead the children to the Lord.

D. Respecting the Rights of Children

Fourth, there is a basic principle in the Bible that children are given by
Jehovah (Psa. 127:3). According to the Bible, children are entrusted by God
to man. One day you must render your account of this trust to God. No one
can say that his children are his and his alone. The thought that one’s
children are his own, that one can do whatever he wants with them, and that
he has absolute control over them is a pagan concept; it is not a Christian
concept. Christianity never teaches that children are ours. Rather, it
acknowledges that children are God’s trust and that parents cannot exercise
despotic control over their children throughout their childhood.

1. Parents Do Not Have

Unlimited Authority
Some people hold on to the concept that parents are always right. They hold
on to this concept even after they have become Christians. Please remember
that many parents are not always right. Many times the parents are quite
wrong. We should not pick up pagan concepts, and we should not assume
that we have unlimited authority over our children.

Please remember that parents do not have absolute authority over their
children. Children have their own spirit and their own soul, over which the
parents have no control whatsoever. Since children have their own spirit and
soul, they are under their own control. They can go to heaven, or they can go
to hell. They must be responsible for themselves before God. We cannot treat
them as an object or as property. We should not assume that we can exercise
unlimited authority over them. God has not given us such absolute authority.
God has given us unlimited authority over dead things, but He has not given
us unlimited authority over human beings who have their own spirit and
soul. No one can have absolute authority over another person with a spirit
and a soul. The thought of absolute authority is a pagan concept. It is related
to pride and should not be found among us.

2. Children Are Not the Means

by which Parents Vent Their Wrath
We are reasonable with our friends and with other members of our family.
We are courteous and reasonable with our colleagues and are even more
courteous and respectful to our superiors. We try to get along well with every
kind of person. But we treat our children as if they are our personal property,
forgetting that they also have a spirit and a soul and that they are gifts from
God. It is possible for us to vent our anger on them and treat them as we
please. Some people think that they need to be courteous to everyone in the
world except their own children. They seem to regard their children as the
means of venting their anger. I know of parents who are this way at home.
They seem to think that a man must be courteous and gentle and yet, at the
same time, have a strong temper. It seems that they are not complete if they
do not lose their temper. Nevertheless, they realize that they will be in trouble
if they lose their temper with others. Their superiors will fire them if they
lose their temper with them, and their friends will despise them if they lose
their temper with them. They think that there is only one place where they
can lose their temper without suffering punishment—with their children.
Many parents have a terrible temper toward their children. It is as if their
children were the cultivating ground for their temper.

Please forgive me for saying such strong words. I have seen many parents
shout at their children over dinner and then turn toward me and say, “Mr.
Nee, please take some of this food. It is delicious.” When this happens. I have
no heart for the food. These things often happen within a span of just a few
minutes. On the one hand, they scold their children, and on the other hand,
they say, “Mr. Nee, please eat.” The problem with some parents is that they
consider their children to be the rightful means for venting their anger. Did
God give us children so that we have a place to lose our temper? May God be
merciful to us!

Please remember that God has not denied all rights of children. He has not
annulled all the self-esteem, personal freedom, or independent constitution
of the children. He has not put them in our hands for us to beat them and
scold them. There is no such thing. This is a non-Christian thought; it is not
a Christian concept. Please remember that the same standard of right and
wrong equally applies to us and our children. There should be only one
standard for us and our children. We cannot have one standard for ourselves
and another standard for them. Let me say a word to the new believers. You
must be tender and gentle to your children. Never be rude to them. Do not
scold them or rebuke them arbitrarily, much less beat them at will.

Please remember that such conduct leads to indulgence. Everyone who

wants to know God must learn to control himself. In particular, he should
control himself when it comes to dealing with his children. This kind of self-
control comes from a proper respect of a child’s soul. No matter how small
or weak a child is, remember that he has his own personality. God has given
him a personality and a soul. You must not damage his character, destroy his
personality, or despise his soul. You must not treat him in an arbitrary way.
You must learn to respect him as a person.

At the same time, our children are entrusted to our family. Their standard of
morality must be our standard of morality. Whatever applies to them must
also apply to us. Parents have no right to vent their wrath on their children.
A Christian should not lose his temper with anyone, not even with his own
children. It is wrong for us to lose our temper with anyone, no matter whom
it may be. We should be reasonable, and we should only reason with our
children. What is right is always right and what is wrong is always wrong. Do
not intimidate them just because they are small and weak. Those who
oppress the weak and the small are the most cowardly people in the world.

3. Do Not Become a Cross to Your Children

Two students were once talking to each other in school. The girl said to her
classmate, “I know my father. He is willing to die for me.” Listen to what she
said! This is the comment of a child about her father. Her father was a
Christian. This was the kind of father he was to her. The other girl was also
from a Christian family. Her father was harsh and lost his temper with his
daughter easily. Once she heard a sermon at school. When she arrived home,
her father asked her what she had learned. She answered, “I now know that
the Lord has given you to me to be my cross.” Both fathers were Christians.
But what a difference between them!

I would say to the parents: Be slow to demand obedience from your children.
Instead, first demand that you yourselves be good parents before the Lord.
If you are not good parents, you can never be good Christians. God does not
give us children for the purpose of making us their crosses. God gave us
children so that we will learn to honor their freedom, personality, and soul
before the Lord.

E. Not Provoking Children to Anger

Fifth, Paul showed us an important thing that parents should not do—they
should not provoke their children to anger (Eph. 6:4).

1. Not Exercising Authority Excessively

What does it mean to provoke children to anger? It means the excessive use
of authority. One can overpower his children with physical strength. This is
always possible because parents are stronger than their children. Or one can
try to subdue his children with financial power. He may say, “If you do not
obey me, I will not give you any money. If you do not listen to me, I will take
away your food and clothing.” Since the children depend on him for their
living, he overpowers them with his money by threatening to withdraw his
support. Some parents dominate their children with physical power, and
others dominate them with their iron will. This can provoke their children to
anger. When they are provoked, they will wait for the chance for their
freedom. One day they will break their bondage and seek total freedom.

I know a brother whose father gambled, smoked, and behaved rudely at

home. He embezzled public funds and was involved in many other
unscrupulous businesses. But he still went to church, and he wanted all of
his children to go to church. He would rebuke and punish them severely if
they did not go. He ruined his children’s taste for the family, all the while
insisting that they go to church. Later, the brother said, “I vowed that when
I grew up one day, I would never go to church. As soon as I could support
myself, I was going to turn away from the church.” Even though he swore this
way, eventually he was saved. Thank God! Otherwise, he would have become
another anti-Christian proponent. This was a very serious matter. The father
did not try to make his children love him, yet he demanded that his children
go to church. This never works. This provokes children to anger. Parents
should not exercise excessive authority over their children or provoke them
to anger. They must never make their children hardened and rebellious
toward them.

I remember another man who is not saved. Not long ago I saw him. He was
forced to read the Bible when he was growing up at home, and he was forced
to read the Bible when he went to a parochial school. I am not saying that
parents should not charge their children to read the Bible. I am saying that
you must attract them and be an example to them yourself. It will never work
if you merely tell them that the Lord is precious, yet constantly abuse them.
There was a mother who was a nominal Christian. She had a terrible temper.
She insisted that her son read the Bible and go to a parochial school. One day
he asked when he could stop reading the Bible. His mother replied, “When
you finish secondary school, you can stop reading the Bible.” On the day that
he received his high school diploma, he took his three copies of the Bible and
burned them in the backyard. You must draw children in a natural way.
Otherwise, when their anger is provoked they may do anything. You want
them to be good, but they will rebel against you when they become free. This
is what is meant by provoking children to anger. Do not provoke your
children to anger. You must learn to be proper parents, to have love,
tenderness, and a proper testimony before them. You must also be an
attraction to them. Do not exercise your authority excessively. Authority can
only be exercised under self-control. If you are excessive in your use of
authority, you will stifle your relationship with your children.

2. Showing Proper Appreciation

In addition, you should show proper appreciation for your children when
they perform well. Some parents only know how to punish and scold; they
know nothing else. This easily provokes their children to anger. Please
remember that many children do have a desire to be good. If you have
nothing for them except punishment and rebuke, they will become
disheartened, according to Paul’s word in Colossians 3:21. They will say that
it is useless to do good because their parents will not acknowledge it. You
must encourage your children when they perform well. You can say to them,
“Today you have done well. I will reward you. I want to give you something
special.” Children do need to be disciplined, but they also need to be
rewarded. Otherwise, they will become disheartened.

I read of a story about a little girl whose mother only knew how to beat and
scold her children. The child had a good disposition when she was young.
Since she felt that her mother did not approve of her, she decided that she
would work especially hard one day to try to please her. When evening came,
her mother undressed her, put her to bed, and began to walk away. As the
mother was walking away, the daughter called to her. The mother asked what
she wanted. She did not say anything. When the mother started to walk away
again, the daughter called again. When the mother asked her again, the
daughter said, “Mother, do you not have anything to say?” This is one of the
stories told by Mr. Bervin. After the mother left, the girl cried for two hours.
Her mother was too insensitive. She only knew how to beat and scold her
daughter; she was insensitive to everything else.

Please remember that the New Testament has more teaching for parents
than for children. The whole world speaks of the mistakes that children
make, but the Lord spoke of the mistakes that parents make. Since the world
speaks so much about children’s mistakes, we do not have to say too much
about them. The Bible tells us parents can indeed provoke their children to
anger and dishearten them through their insensitivity. This is why it speaks
so much about parenting. This occupation is more difficult than any other
occupation in the world. Those who are parents must devote all their energy
and mind to be proper parents. Please do not be insensitive to your children.

F. Being Accurate with Words

Sixth, parents’ words are very important to children. You must not only be a
pattern to your children but also realize that your words are very important
to them.

1. Not Making Empty Promises

Please remember that parents should not say anything to their children that
they cannot carry out. You must not make empty promises to your children.
Do not promise them something if you do not have the ability to fulfill your
promise. Do not make a promise to them if you cannot fulfill it. If your
children want you to buy something, you have to consider your financial
ability. If you can do it, do it. If not, you must say, “I will do my best. I will do
what I can do. But I cannot do what is beyond my ability.” Every word of
yours must be reliable. You should not think that this is a small matter. You
must not allow your children to doubt your words. Not only must they not
doubt your words, but they also must have the assurance that your words are
accurate. If the children find their parents’ words to be unreliable, they will
grow up acting carelessly. They will think that since one can be careless with
his words, he can be careless with anything. Some expressions can be used
only in politics; they are not factual. Parents should not use such expressions.
Many parents are apparently too kind to their children. They promise
whatever their children ask, but nine out of ten times they cannot fulfill their
promises. Such wonderful promises produce only one result in the children—
disappointment. You must promise only things that you can do. If you cannot
do a certain thing, do not promise it. If you are not sure whether you can do
it, tell them so. Your words must be accurate.

2. Orders Needing to Be Carried Out

Sometimes you are not making a promise, but giving an order. If you open
your mouth to ask your children to do something, you must make sure that
it is done. You have to make them realize that you mean what you say. Many
times you give a proper order, but you forget about it. This is wrong. You
should not tell your children that it is all right if they do not carry out your
order this time, just as long as they do it the next time. If you excuse them,
you are not doing them a favor. You should show your children that once you
say something, they must carry it out whether or not you remember it. If you
say it once, you can say it a hundred times. If your word counts for one thing,
your word should count for a hundred things. You should not nullify your
own words. Show them from their youth that words are hallowed, whether
they are a promise or an order. For example, if you tell your child to sweep
his room every morning, you must first consider whether or not it is within
his ability to do it. If he does not do it today, you must make sure that he does
it the next day. If he does not do it the next day, you must make sure that he
does it the third day. You must uphold your order this year, and you must
uphold it next year. You have to show your children that your words are not
uttered lightly and that once they are uttered, they have to be carried out. If
they find that your words do not count, your words will become ineffective.
Hence, every word out of your mouth must be practical and principled.
 3. Correcting Exaggerated Words
Sometimes you exaggerate your words. You must find an opportunity to tell
your children that you exaggerated your words on that particular occasion.
Your words must be accurate. Sometimes you see only two cows but you say
that there are three, or you see five birds but say that there are eight. You
must correct yourself immediately. In speaking to your children, you must
learn to always correct yourself. You should learn to say, “What I just said
was not that accurate. There are two cows, not three.” You must show them
that words should be sanctified. Everything that happens in the family
should be for the building up of Christian character. You must sanctify your
words. When your children speak, they should also sanctify their words and
be accurate with them. When you say something wrong, you must make a
point to admit your mistake. In this manner you will train your children to
sanctify their words. Many parents say five when they mean three or three
when they mean two. They speak loosely and do not set up good patterns at
home. As a result, their children never realize that words are sacred.

All these problems occur because there is a lack of discipline from the Lord.
We should experience the Lord’s discipline and lead our children to the
Lord’s discipline. At least we should show them that words are sacred. Every
promise should be realized and every order should be carried out. Every word
has to be accurate. If we do this, our children will receive proper training.

G. Nurturing Children in the Discipline

and Admonition of the Lord
Seventh, you must nurture your children in the discipline and admonition of
the Lord (Eph. 6:4). The discipline of the Lord is telling a person how he
should behave himself. You must consider your children as Christians, not
Gentiles. The Lord’s discipline tells a person how he should behave as a
Christian. The Lord intends that all of our children become Christians. He
has no intention that any of them be a Gentile or an unsaved person. You
should plan on all of them becoming not just Christians, but good Christians.
You should tell them what a proper Christian is by teaching them the
discipline of the Lord. Here we must briefly cover a number of points.

1. Helping Children to Have Proper Aspirations

The biggest thing about a child is his aspirations. Every child has an
aspiration when he is young. If the government allowed every child to print
his business card, I think many children would print “President,”
“Chairman,” or “Queen.” Parents must help their children to have proper
aspirations. If you love the world, your children will probably want to be the
president, a millionaire, or a great academic. How you live affects the
aspirations of your child. Parents must learn to channel the ambitions of
their children in the proper direction. They should aspire to be a lover of the
Lord. They should not aspire to love the world. You should cultivate such an
ambition within them while they are young. Show them that it is an
honorable thing to die for the Lord, that it is a precious thing to be a martyr
for the Lord. You have to be an example to them, and you have to tell them
your ambitions. Tell them what you want to be if you are given the
opportunity. Tell them what kind of Christian you want to be. In this way,
you will channel their ambitions in the proper direction. Their goals will
change, and they will know what is noble and what is precious.

2. Not Encouraging the Pride of Children

Children have another problem: They are not only ambitious and aspiring
but also proud of themselves. They may boast about their own cleverness,
skill, or eloquence. A child can find many things to boast about. He may think
that he is a very special person. Parents should not discourage them, but
neither should they cultivate their pride. Many parents cultivate their
children’s pride and encourage them to go after vainglory by heaping praises
upon them in front of other people. We should tell them, “There are many
children who are like you in this world.” Do not try to encourage their pride.
We should enlighten children according to the discipline and admonition of
the Lord. They should be able to think, to speak, and to learn all the skills.
But you have to tell them that there are many who are like them in this world.
Do not destroy their self-esteem, but do not allow them to become proud.
You do not need to hurt their self-esteem, but you must point out their pride
to them. Many young people leave home only to find out that they have to
spend ten or twenty years in the world in order to learn how to do things
properly. By then it is too late. Many young people have a wild temper at
home. They are so proud that they cannot work properly. We do not want
our children to become disheartened, but neither do we want them to be
proud or to think that they are somebody.

3. Teaching Children to Accept Defeat

and to Learn Humility
A Christian needs to know how to appreciate others. It is easy to be
victorious, but it is hard to accept defeat. We can find champions who are
humble, but it is rare to find losers who are not bitter. This is not a Christian
attitude. Those who are good in some areas should learn to be humble and
not boastful. At the same time, when a person is defeated he should learn to
accept his defeat. Children are very competitive. It is all right for them to be
competitive; they want to win at ball games, track meets, and in their school
work. You have to show them that it is right for them to study well at school,
but they have to learn to be humble. Encourage them to be humble. Tell them
that there are many other students who may be better than they are. When
they are defeated, you need to teach them to accept their defeat with grace.
A child’s problem often has to do with these attitudes. After a game the
winner is proud, while the loser will complain that the judge was not fair or
that he made the wrong judgment because the sun was glaring in his face.
You should help them to develop a humble character. They should be under
Christian admonition and should develop Christian character. They can win,
and when they lose they can also appreciate others. Admitting defeat is a
virtue. The Chinese are greatly lacking in this virtue. Most Chinese blame
others when they are defeated instead of conceding with grace. You must
nurture your children in the discipline and admonition of the Lord.

Many children say that their teacher plays favorites when others do well on
tests. When they do not do well themselves, they say their teacher does not
like them. Here we see the need for humility. Christians must have the virtue
of accepting defeat. If others are good, we have to say promptly that they are
good. We also have to accept defeat and concede that others are smarter,
more hard working, or better than us. It is a Christian virtue to accept defeat.
When we win, we should not look down upon everyone else. This attitude is
unworthy of a Christian. When others are better than us, we have to
appreciate them. Others may jump higher or be stronger than us. We should
train our children to acknowledge achievement in others, while they are still
living at home with us. This training will help them understand themselves
when they grow up as Christians. We should know ourselves and appreciate
those who are better than us. If our children are this way, it will be easy for
them to experience spiritual things.

4. Teaching Children to Choose

I hope that we will pay attention to this matter. In many aspects we have to
teach our children according to the discipline of the Lord. From their youth,
we should give them a chance to make their own choices. We should not
make every choice for them until they reach the age of eighteen or twenty. If
we do, it will be impossible for them to make any decisions when they grow
up. We have to always give them the opportunity to make decisions. Give
them the chance to choose what they like and what they do not like. We have
to show them whether their choices are right. Give them the chance to choose
and then show them the right choice. Let them see it for themselves. Some
like to wear short dresses. Some prefer one kind of color, while others prefer
another kind of color. Let them make the choices by themselves.

Some people do not give their children the opportunity to make choices. As
a result, when their children reach their twenties and marry someone, they
do not know how to be the head. You can tell them that the husband is the
head of the wife, but they will not know how to be the head. You must not
allow them to wait until they are married to find out that they do not know
how to be the head. If at all possible, give your children plenty of opportunity
to make decisions. When they grow up, they will then know what to do. They
will know what is wrong and what is right. Give a child opportunities to make
choices from the time he is young. I will say a word to all those who have
children: “Give them a chance to choose.” Otherwise, many Chinese children
will be damaged when they grow up. The damage is often manifested when
the children are between the ages of eighteen and twenty. They act in
irresponsible ways at this age because they have never been called upon to
make any choices. We must teach our children according to the discipline of
the Lord. We must teach our children to make choices rather than making all
the choices for them. We have to let our children know whether they have
made the right choices.

5. Teaching Children to Manage Things

We must also teach our children to manage things. We must give them the
opportunity to take care of their personal belongings, to manage their own
shoes, socks, and other affairs. Give them a little instruction and then let
them try to manage things by themselves. Let them know how things should
be handled from their youth. Some children have a bad start because their
fathers love them blindly and do not know how to train them. As Christians,
we have to train our children to manage their things properly.

I believe if the Lord is gracious to us, we will gain half of our increase from
among our own children and the other half from the “sea” (i.e., the world). If
all the increase is from the sea and none is from among our own children, we
will not have a strong church. Paul’s generation could be saved directly from
the world, but the generation after Paul, men like Timothy, came in through
their families. We cannot expect our increase to always come from the world.
We have to expect the second generation, men like Timothy, to come from
our own families. God’s gospel does save men from the world, but we also
need to bring in men like Timothy. Before the church will be rich, there must
be grandmothers like Lois and mothers like Eunice who raise, edify, and
nurture their children in the discipline of the Lord. If there are no such
people, the church will never be rich. We must give our children the
opportunity to manage things from their youth. We must give them the
chance to learn to arrange things by themselves. Hold family meetings
frequently and allow the children to make decisions. If we have to rearrange
the furniture, involve them in its rearrangement. If we have to rearrange the
cupboard, involve them in its rearrangement. Teach them to manage things.
Whether we have daughters or sons, we have to teach them to manage things.
Then they will become a good husband or a good wife in the future.

What is our situation today? Girls should be cared for by their mothers. But
many mothers do not take care of them, and the burden is turned over to the
church. Boys should be cared for by their fathers. But many fathers do not
take care of them, and the burden is also passed on to the church. As a
consequence, as men are saved and brought into the church, the business
burden of the church doubles. This is because those who are parents do not
live properly as Christian parents. After the church preaches the gospel and
saves men, it has to deal with all kinds of family problems associated with
these men. But if parents are responsible for the proper nurturing of their
children, and if the children are brought up in the church, the church will be
relieved of half of its burdens. In Shanghai I have often felt that the workers
should not be handling the many affairs that they handle; those affairs
should be handled by the parents. The parents do not teach their children
well, and these children drift into the world. As a result, we have to rescue
them back from the world and pick up the burden of teaching them ourselves.
This creates much work for the church.

H. Leading the Children

to the Knowledge of the Lord
Eighth, we must lead them to the knowledge of the Lord. A family altar is
indeed necessary. In the Old Testament the tabernacle was linked to the
altar. In other words the family is linked to service and consecration to God.
No family can go on without prayer and the reading of the Word. This is
especially true with families that have children.

1. Meetings That Are on the Level of the Children

Some families fail in their prayer and Bible-reading time because their family
meetings are too long and too deep. The children do not understand what is
going on. They do not know why you are asking them to sit there. I do not
like it when families invite us to their homes to speak about deep doctrines
and then force their children to sit with them. Some home meetings go on for
one or two hours about difficult doctrines. This is indeed a great suffering for
the children. Yet many parents have no feeling about this. The children sit
there, but they do not understand. For example, if the topic is on the book of
Revelation, how can they understand it? The home meetings must suit the
children. These family meetings are not designed for you; your meeting is in
the meeting hall. Do not impose your standard on your family. What you do
in the family must suit the taste of your children and must be on their own
level.

2. Encouraging and Attracting

Another problem with some home meetings is that there is little love in them.
It is neither the father’s attraction nor the mother’s attraction that draws the
children to these meetings; it is the whip that keeps them there. They do not
want to join. But they come because there is the threat of the whip. If you
take away the whip, they will not come. This will never work. You must think
of some ways to attract them and encourage them. Do not punish them.
Never beat your children for not attending your family worship hour. If you
beat them once, you may create a problem in them for the rest of their lives.
Parents must attract their children to the family worship hour. Do not force
them to come. This will only result in terrible consequences.

3. Meeting Once in the Morning

and Once in the Evening
We suggest having two home meetings a day, one in the morning and one in
the evening. The father should lead the morning time and the mother should
lead the evening time. Get up a little earlier. The parents must not remain in
bed after the children have taken their breakfast and gone to school. If you
have children at home, you have to wake up earlier. Have a little time
together before the children go to school. Your meeting should be short,
living, and never long. Perhaps ten minutes is enough. Fifteen minutes is the
longest it should be. Never exceed fifteen minutes and do not be shorter than
five minutes. Ask everyone of them to read a verse. The father should take
the lead to pick out a few phrases and speak about them. If the children can
memorize something, ask them to memorize. Do not quote a whole verse.
Ask them to remember the meaning of a sentence. At the end of the meeting
the father or the mother should offer a prayer for God’s blessing. Do not offer
lofty or deep prayers. Pray about things that children can understand. Do not
be long. Be simple. Then send them to school.

Every time you sit down for your meal, you should thank the Lord for it.
Whether it is breakfast, lunch, or dinner, you should be sincere in your
thanksgiving. Help your children to give thanks. The evening meeting should
be a little longer, and the mother should lead it. It is not necessary to read
the Bible at night, but the family needs to pray together. In particular, the
mother has to gather the children together and talk to them. While the father
is sitting next to her, the mother should encourage the children to speak up.
Ask them whether they had any problems that day. Ask whether they fought
with one another and whether anything was bothering them. If a mother
cannot make her children speak up, something must be wrong. It is a failure
of the mother to allow a barrier to exist between herself and her children. The
mother must be at fault if the children are afraid to speak to her. They should
be free to speak up. The mother must learn to bring out the things that are in
her children’s hearts. If they do not want to speak up that day, ask them the
next day. Guide the children. Let them pray a little and teach them to say a
few words. This meeting must be living. Ask them to confess their sins, but
do not force them. There must not be any pretense. Everything must be done
in a very natural way. Let them take some initiative themselves. If they have
something to confess, let them confess. If they have nothing to confess, do
not force them. There must not be any pretense. The pretense found in many
children is the result of pressure from strict parents. Children do not tell lies,
but you can force them to tell lies. The parents should lead them to pray in a
simple way one by one. Make sure that everyone prays. Finally, conclude with
a prayer of your own. But do not be long. Once your prayer becomes long,
children become bored. Feed them according to their capacity. Once you try
to do too much, you will overburden them. Pray a few sentences with them
and then let them go to sleep.
 4. Paying Attention to Their Repentance
Let them know the meaning of sin. Everyone sins. You must pay attention to
the matter of their repentance and then bring them to the Lord. After some
time you should ask them to receive the Lord sincerely. Then bring them to
the church and let them be a part of the church. In this way you will lead your
children to the knowledge of God.

I. The Atmosphere in the Family Being Love

Ninth, the atmosphere in the family should be one of love. Some become
psychologically abnormal or withdrawn because they do not have love at
home.

The way a child grows up depends on the atmosphere in his family. If a child
does not receive any loving nurturing as he grows up, he will become
stubborn, individualistic, and rebellious. Many people cannot get along with
others in their adult life because they did not experience love in the family as
a child. They saw only quarrels, arguments, and fights in the family. Children
from such families grow up abnormally. Those who come from such
abnormal families surely grow up to be lonely people. They will be
antagonistic toward others. Because they feel inferior in their heart, they try
to boost their self-image by considering themselves better than others. All
those who have an inferiority complex have a tendency to exalt themselves.
This is their means of offsetting their own inferiority.

Many bad elements in society such as robbers and rebels come from families
which are void of love. Their personality becomes warped, and they turn
against their fellow man when they grow up. When they come to the church,
they bring their problems with them. I feel that half of the work of the church
can be done by good parents. But this work falls upon our shoulders today
because there are few good parents. New believers should see that they
should treat their children in a proper way. A family must be filled with an
atmosphere of love and tenderness. There must be genuine love. Children
who grow up from such families will become normal persons.

Parents must learn to be friends to their children. Never allow your children
to distance themselves from you. Never make yourself unapproachable.
Please remember that friendship is built upon communication; it does not
come by birth. You must learn to approach your children. Be happy to help
them so that they will tell you when they encounter problems and seek your
counsel when they are weak. They should not go to others when they are
weak. They should be able to tell you their successes as well as their failures.
You should be their good friend, the approachable and helpful one to them.
They should look to you when they are weak and fellowship with you when
they are successful. We have to be friends to them. When they are weak, they
should be able to come to us for help. We should not be a judge on the throne
but a help to them. We should be there whenever they need help, and we
should be able to sit down with them and discuss problems with them. They
should be able to seek counsel from us as from friends. In a family the parents
must earn so much trust from their children that they become their friends.
If a parent will do this, he or she will have done the right thing.

You have to learn this lesson from the time the children are young. How dear
and near your children are to you depends on how you treat them the first
twenty years of their lives. If they are not near to you the first twenty years of
their lives, they will not be near to you when they are thirty or forty years old.
They will drift further and further away from you. Many children do not like
to be near their parents. They are not friends to them and there is no sweet
relationship between them. They go to their parents when they have
problems in a way that resembles a criminal going before a judge. You must
work to such an extent that your children will come and seek your advice first
when they have problems. They must feel comfortable confiding in you. If
you can achieve this, you will find few problems in your family. In fact, all
problems will be solved.

J. The Matter of Punishment

Tenth, there is the matter of punishment. When a child has done something
wrong, he or she must be punished. It is wrong not to punish.

1. Being Afraid of Beating the Children

The most difficult thing is to punish someone. Those who are parents must
be afraid of beating their children. They must consider it as serious as beating
their own parents. No children should beat their own parents. One can be
forgiven for beating his own parents, yet he will not be easily forgiven for
beating his own children. You must learn to be afraid of beating your own
children and must consider it as serious as beating your own parents.
 2. Beating Being Necessary
However, beating them is sometimes necessary. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He
that spareth his rod hateth his son: / but he that loveth him chasteneth him
betimes.” This is Solomon’s wisdom. Parents should chastise their children
with the rod. Beating is necessary.

3. Beating Justly
If you beat, however, you must beat justly. Do not lose your temper, and do
not beat in anger. No one may beat their children in anger. Something is
wrong with you when you are angry. Brothers and sisters, when your children
do something wrong, and you beat them in your anger, you should realize
that you also should be beaten. You must calm down first before God. As long
as you are angry, you cannot chastise anyone.

4. Pointing Out to the Children Their Fault

Some problems must be settled by beating. But you must show the child what
you are beating him for. If you need to beat him, you also need to show him
his fault. You must show him his fault each time you beat him. You must tell
him what his fault is. It is not enough to try to stop his fault by beating him.
You have to explain to him that you are beating him because he is wrong in
certain things.

5. Beating Being a Serious Thing

Every time you beat a child, you must not do it in a common way. You must
show him that beating is a big thing. The whole family has to know about it.
All the adults and children have to come together. The father or the mother
has to carry out the beating like a surgeon performing an operation. A doctor
does not cut with a knife out of anger; he cuts to remove a problem. In the
same way a parent must not punish in anger; he or she must be calm. Parents
must never beat their children in a state of fury. On the one hand, they must
point out the fault. On the other hand, they must not be angry in any way.

How should you do it? I have a suggestion. By the time you have a cane in
your hand, the child must have committed some very serious wrong. While
you are holding the cane in your hand, you should ask the child’s brother to
fetch a pail of warm water and his sister to fetch a towel. Then you have to
show the child what he has done wrong. You have to tell him that anyone
who has done something so serious must be punished severely. He should
not flee from his mistakes. Fleeing from punishment is wrong as well. A
person must be bold to receive punishment if he is bold to commit sin. Tell
him that he has done something wrong and that you have no choice but to
punish him. The beating is for him to realize his wrong. You may beat him
two times or you may beat him three times. Perhaps the child’s hand will
bruise and bleed from the beating. You should then ask his brother to soak
the bruised hand in the warm water to relieve the blood circulation.
Afterward you should wipe the child’s hand with the towel. You have to do
this ceremoniously. Show them that there is only love in the family; there is
no hatred. I believe this is the right way to punish.

Today much of the punishment in the family is the result of anger and hatred,
not love. You say that you love your children, but who will believe you? I will
not. You must let them know where they are wrong. Let them know that their
father is not beating them in hatred. When you beat, do it properly. After you
beat them, you should take them to bed. If the offense is too serious, the
mother or the father can share two of the child’s stripes. You have to tell the
child, “This matter is too serious. I have to beat you five times. But I am afraid
that you cannot take it if I give you five stripes. So your mother will share two
of them and your father will share one of them on your behalf. You yourself
must still take the other two stripes.” You have to show him that this is a
serious and grave matter. He will remember not to sin freely for the rest of
his life.

This is the Lord’s discipline; it is not the discipline of your temper. It is the
Lord’s admonition, not the admonition of your temper. I do not stand with
the temper of any parent. The temper of the parents will ruin the future of
their children. The parents must learn to have true punishment for their
children. But, at the same time, they must also learn to love. This is the
proper way to have a Christian family.

II. GREAT CHILDREN COMING OUT OF GREAT PARENTS

Finally, I would say that many men whom God used in this world came from
great parents. Beginning with Timothy, we find numerous men used by God
who came from great parents. John Wesley was one of them. Another one
was John Newton. There are many hymns in our hymnal written by Newton.
John G. Paton was another one. He was one of the most famous missionaries
in the modern world. I can think of no other father like his father. In his old
age Paton still remembered, “Every time I wanted to sin, I remembered my
father, who was always praying for me.” His family was very poor. There was
only one bedroom, one kitchen, and another small room. He said, “I
trembled every time my father prayed and sighed in the small room. He was
making petition for our souls. Even though I am so old now, I can still
remember his sighing. I thank God for giving me such a father. I cannot sin,
because when I sin, I transgress against my heavenly Father as well as my
earthly father.” It is difficult to find a father like Paton’s father, and it is
difficult to find a son as great as Paton.

I cannot tell you how many strong believers would be raised up in our second
generation if all the parents of this generation would be good parents. I have
always wanted to say this: The future of the church depends on the parents.
When God bestows grace on the church, He needs vessels. There is the need
for more Timothys to be raised up. It is true that we can save men from the
world, but there is a greater need for raising up people from among Christian
families.

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
FRIENDS
Scripture Reading: James 4:4; 2 Cor. 6:14-18; Psa. 1; 1 Cor. 15:33
I. THE BIBLE
NOT EMPHASIZING FRIENDSHIP
One thing special about the Bible is that it does not say much about
friendship among God’s children. This does not mean that the word friend is
never used in the Bible. The word is used numerous times in the Old
Testament; we find it in Genesis and especially in Proverbs. In the New
Testament we find the word in Matthew and Luke. But the friendship spoken
of in the Bible primarily refers to friendship outside of Christ; the Bible does
not say much about making friends with those who are in the Lord. If I
remember correctly, the word friends is spoken of twice in Acts in relation to
Christians. In the first instance, some among the Asiarch leaders were Paul’s
friends. They entreated Paul not to venture into the theater (19:31). In the
second instance, Julius treated Paul kindly and allowed him to go to his
friends to receive care (27:3). In addition to these two verses, 3 John 14 says,
“The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.” As far as I know, these
are the only three places in Acts and the Epistles that speak about the subject.
This shows us that the Bible does not say much about the matter of
friendship.

The Bible does not emphasize friendship but instead emphasizes our
relationship as brothers and sisters. It emphasizes the relationship of the
brothers and sisters in the Lord. This is the basic and primary relationship.
The Bible puts much more emphasis on this than on friendship.

II. FRIENDSHIP BEING

THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP IN THE WORLD
What does friendship mean? An old man can be a friend to a young man.
There can be friendship between husbands and wives. Fathers and sons can
be friends with each other, and brothers and sisters also can be friends. Being
a friend to someone means loving and communicating with that one; this is
the only relationship that counts in a friendship. Among the different kinds
of human relationships, there are blood relationships. This kind of
relationship exists only between relatives. Friendship, however, is different
from such relationships; it is sealed in mutual love. Friendship disregards all
other relationships and binds two persons together through love. Friendship
often exists between husband and wife, father and son, mother and daughter,
or teacher and student. Friendship can develop between people of similar
age, similar social standing, or similar era.

Friendship is an important relationship for a person who has not believed in

the Lord Jesus. Before a person accepts the Lord as Savior, he does not share
any spiritual relationship in the Lord. This is why friendship is the most
important relationship in the world to him. But among us, friendship is no
longer the most important thing. Friendship is rarely mentioned in the New
Testament. Our emphasis is on the relationship that exists between us as
brothers and sisters in the Lord. Our relationship as friends in the Lord is
much less significant. Friendship is not important among God’s children.

Before we believe in the Lord, we do not have a spiritual relationship. We

only have father and son, mother and daughter, teacher and student, and
master and servant relationships. This is why friendship is an important
matter to those who have not believed in the Lord. Two persons can be father
and son to each other, but they can still have differences in standing. The
same can be said of a mother and a daughter, a husband and a wife, and a
master and his servant. Everyone can have his or her own standing. Blood
relationships, however, are limited in number. Most persons can have
between three and five blood relationships; those who have eight and ten
such relationships are considered unusual. Other than these relationships,
all other contacts are with friends.
Man cannot be satisfied with family relationships alone. He cannot be
satisfied with the teacher-student relationship or any other social
relationship alone. Man needs friendship. Friendship is based on love, not
on the blood relationship. Many of our human relationships are inherited
from birth; only friendship is by personal choice. This is why friendship is a
most important matter to an unbeliever. Everyone has friends. A person can
have three, five, eight, or ten friends. He can have dozens or hundreds of
friends if he is sociable enough. He can enjoy companionship, love, and
fellowship among these friends. Friendship indeed occupies an important
place in an unbeliever’s life.

If an unbeliever does not have any friends, he must not be a very likable
person. He may be somewhat abnormal or have a sick personality; he may
be very hard to get along with; or perhaps his untrustworthiness or
peculiarities have discouraged others from making friends with him. Under
normal circumstances, a man always has friends.

III. GOD’S COMMAND BEING FOR US

TO TERMINATE OUR WORLDLY FRIENDSHIP
God, however, has ordained that we terminate our friendships after we have
believed in the Lord Jesus.

A. Friendship of the World Being Enmity with God

James spoke of friendship of the world (James 4:4). The world here means
“worldly people.” “The friendship of the world is enmity with God.” Please
remember that the love for the Father is not in us if we love the world (1 John
2:15). To be a friend of worldly people is to be an enemy of God.

A new believer must be very clear that as soon as he becomes a Christian, he

has to replace all of his friends. If you have just accepted the Lord, you must
replace your friends. This is the same as changing one’s attire and everything
else when one believes in the Lord. Friends also need to be changed. One has
to have an entirely different set of friends. I know what I am talking about. A
new believer will live a poor and shallow spiritual life if he does not change
his friends. A person should terminate all of his old friendships as soon as he
believes in the Lord. It is wonderful to note that when God’s love comes in,
man’s love departs. When the Lord’s life comes into us, the world can no
longer be a friend to us.
But our Lord did not say that we have to hate the world in order to love God.
This does not mean that we have to ignore the world or that we can no longer
greet our friends on the street. Rather, it means that whoever befriends the
world is at enmity with God. We do not have to treat the world as our enemy,
but our deep friendship and our devotion to fellowship with it must be
terminated. We may still love our friends, but now our goal should be to save
them. We may still treat them as friends, but our goal should be like that of
Cornelius—to bring them the gospel. Cornelius invited two groups of people
when Peter came to his house: his relatives and his intimate friends (Acts
10:24). He knew that God wanted him to invite Peter, and he invited his
relatives and intimate friends as well to listen to the gospel. This is the goal
of our continued acquaintance; it is not to maintain our former ties. A man
cannot stop knowing a person whom he has known already. A friend is still a
friend. One cannot cut off his relationship with those who have been
acquainted with him for years. Dealing with our friendship means that we
have a turn in the Lord. It means that all former relationships cease. From
this point forward, we still talk to our friends when we see them. We still
discuss things with them if we have problems. But we have a new life, while
they do not have such a life. Our relationship should not ignore this change
in life. A person becomes a friend by first becoming acquainted with another,
then by loving him, and finally by socializing with him. If we continue such a
relationship with our friends after we are saved, we are at enmity with God,
and spontaneously we will not be able to go on in a proper way.

In running a race, the lighter the weight one has on his body, the better it is.
The more one deals with sins, the lighter his weight will be. The more
recompenses one makes, the lighter his burdens will be. The more friends
you leave behind, the less weight you will have. If you add a few friends to
yourself, you will find yourself being pressed down. I have seen many
brothers and sisters who have been held down by their friends. They cannot
be absolute to God’s way; it is hard for them to be good Christians. An
unbeliever’s standard of morality and conduct will always be that of an
unbeliever’s. They may not drag you down, but they will surely not lift you
up.

B. Not Being Dissimilarly Yoked

with an Unbeliever
Second Corinthians 6:14 says, “Do not become dissimilarly yoked with
unbelievers.” Many people think that this is a word for marriage. I agree that
being dissimilarly yoked does imply marriage, but it also describes all other
relationships between believers and unbelievers.

1. Being Dissimilarly Yoked with the World

Not Being a Blessing but a Suffering
“Do not become dissimilarly yoked with unbelievers.” This is a general
statement. What does it mean? We have to go on to see the following
questions: “For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or
what fellowship does light have with darkness? And what concord does
Christ have with Belial? Or what part does a believer have with an
unbeliever? And what agreement does the temple of God have with idols?
For we are the temple of the living God, even as God said, ‘I will dwell among
them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they will be My
people.’ Therefore ‘come out from their midst and be separated, says the
Lord, and do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you’; ‘and I will
be a Father to you, and you will be sons and daughters to Me, says the Lord
Almighty’” (2 Cor. 6:14-18). All of these questions issue from the first
statement: “Do not become dissimilarly yoked with unbelievers.” This is a
positive statement. It is the basic premise. After this basic premise, five
questions follow. These questions show us that believers and unbelievers are
not compatible with one another and cannot be similarly yoked.

I hope you will realize that although we live in the same society as those in
the world today, we cannot build up an intimate relationship with them,
whether it be with respect to a business venture, general friendship, or
marital union. If an unbeliever and a believer are together, sooner or later
they will end up with trouble. Believers have their standard, and unbelievers
have theirs. Believers have their ideologies, and unbelievers have theirs.
Believers have their views, and unbelievers have theirs. If the two are put
together, the result will not be blessing, but sorrow. The two hold different
views, opinions, ethical standards, and moral judgments. Everything is
different. One pulls one way, while the other pulls the opposite way. Putting
both under the same yoke would simply break the yoke. The believer either
has to go along with the unbeliever or break the yoke.

I wish all new believers would realize that when believers and unbelievers
are put together, the believers always suffer. We should never think that we
can pull the unbelievers in our direction. If we want to pull them in our
direction, we do not have to do it by making friends with them. I can tell you
that I have tried to pull my old friends in my direction, but I did not try to
maintain my old friendship with them. We can win our old friends over to
our side without trying to maintain our old friendships with them. If we try
to maintain our friendships, they will probably win us over to their side.

C. H. Spurgeon once gave a good illustration. A young lady came to him and
told him that she wanted to make friends with an unbeliever. She said that
she wanted to bring him to the Lord and then become engaged to him. Mr.
Spurgeon asked the young lady to climb up on a high table. She did as he
asked. By then Mr. Spurgeon was already quite an old man. He told the young
lady to hold his hand and try her best to pull him up. She tried very hard but
could not do it. Mr. Spurgeon then said, “Now let me pull you down,” and
with one jerk, she was down on the ground. He said, “It is easy to be pulled
down but hard to pull someone up.” This answered the girl’s question. Please
remember that pulling someone up is always hard. It is very difficult to pull
an unbeliever up, but it is easy for him to pull you down. Many people have
been pulled down by unbelievers. Many brothers and sisters are pulled down
by their friends because they have not dealt with the problem of friendships.

New believers should tell all their friends that they have believed in the Lord
Jesus. They must open their mouth to testify and confess that they have
received the Lord. Whenever they see their friends again, they must bring the
Lord to them. I had many friends when I was in school. After believing in the
Lord, I would take out my Bible, sit down with them, and talk about the Lord
whenever I saw them. My conduct before I was a Christian was very poor. At
the least I had learned to gamble and I enjoyed going to the theater. I was
easily dragged into these things by my friends. But after I believed in the
Lord, I would take out my Bible whenever I sat down with them. After I
became known for doing this, my friends began to leave me alone. This was
good for me because they stopped including me in their activities. Had I not
done that, it would have been unavoidable for me to be dragged away. We
would rather not be welcomed by our friends than be pulled away by them.
It is best to keep a mild friendship with them, but do not pursue intimate
friendship. Be polite and courteous. Do not lose your friends, but do not
become deeply involved with them. We belong to the Lord, and we should
always bring the Lord to them.

If you serve the Lord faithfully and bring the Lord to your friends in this way,
sooner or later they will either turn to the Lord or forsake you. These are the
only two possibilities. There is hardly a third possible outcome. They will
either follow you and take the same way, or they no longer will bother you.
This will work to a new believer’s advantage; it will save him much trouble.
A person will be dragged away by an unbeliever if the two bear the same yoke,
because he has to disobey the Lord in order to maintain his close friendship
with the world.

2. Five Questions on
Not Being Dissimilarly Yoked
First, “For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have?” You
have believed in the Lord and you know what righteousness is. You must deal
with your former unrighteousnesses. You must deal with whatever you owe
to others. But unbelievers, even the most moral ones, do not know what
righteousness means. The two are diametrically the opposite of each other.
Righteousness and unrighteousness have no partnership with each other. We
cannot take advantage of others in even the smallest way. Perhaps some
people like to take advantage of others. In the past you might have thought
that this was smart, but now you realize that this is unrighteousness. How
can righteousness have partnership with unrighteousness? Your views are
basically different now. Thus, righteousness can have no partnership with
unrighteousness.

Second, “What fellowship does light have with darkness?” You have been
enlightened, and now you see. The other person is in darkness and cannot
see. A child of God, who has made some progress on his spiritual journey
already and who has some depth in the Lord, will find it difficult even to
fellowship with a fleshly Christian who lives in darkness. How much more
difficult would it be for him to commune with one who is totally in darkness
and sees nothing? At least you have been enlightened by God. Here is a basic
contradiction: Light has no fellowship with darkness. Unbelievers can do
many things. Their philosophies, ethical standards, and outlook on life are
different from those of believers. Believers are in the light, while unbelievers
are in darkness. How can they fellowship and commune with one another?
They are basically different in nature.

Third, “And what concord does Christ have with Belial?” Belial refers to
Satan and contemptible things. Satan is surely contemptible. We belong to
the Lord, while unbelievers belong to Belial. We are honorable (1 Pet. 2:9),
and they are cheap. We were bought with a high price, with the blood of the
Son of God, not with corruptible gold and silver. We have our Christian
standing, our dignity as believers. There are many things which we cannot
do. I can bargain with a rickshaw-coolie within a reasonable limit. But it
would be wrong for me to bargain beyond that limit. We are Christians, and
we cannot go beyond certain limits. We cannot bargain too much with others.
We must not lose our Christian dignity. We are worth more than the few
cents that we bargain for. We cannot lower ourselves to the level of the street
hawkers. We have to maintain our Christian standing and our Christian
dignity.

Some people belong to Belial. They may do many things. They may take
advantage of others or make gain for themselves. But we cannot do the same
things. We have our Christian honor and status. How can these two kinds of
people be in harmony with one another? One is pulling to one side, and the
other is pulling to the opposite side. The two cannot be yoked together.
Putting them under one yoke will not work. The yoke will surely break.

Please remember that many people are not that honorable. They are, in fact,
rather ignoble. Christians, however, are noble people. The two are totally
different; they cannot be yoked together. After one becomes a Christian, he
cannot develop strong friendship with unbelievers, because he is
incompatible with them.

Fourth, “Or what part does a believer have with an unbeliever?” This is a
repetition of the question prior to it. This is another comparison. You have
faith, and the other person does not have faith. You know God in faith, but
the other person does not believe in God and does not know Him. You find
faith in your life, but the other person does not have faith in his life. You trust
in God, while he has no trust. You look to God, while he looks to himself. You
say that everything is in God’s hand, but he says that everything is in his own
hand. The two are basically different. We often cannot communicate even
with nominal Christians; we cannot fellowship with them. They say that they
are Christians, but they have no faith. There is a problem here. Not only is
the conduct of the two persons different, but one has faith while the other
does not. The conduct is different because the measure of faith is different.
With this difference, it is hard to have any communication at all. A believer
has nothing to do with an unbeliever. A believer spontaneously trusts in God
in many things; it is as natural as breathing. But this is hard to an unbeliever.
He would say that the believer is superstitious, backward, or foolish. There
is no way for us to make friends with unbelievers. They will pull us down, and
the pull will be very strong.
Fifth, “What agreement does the temple of God have with idols?” What is the
temple of God? What is an idol? I think this refers to the sanctification of the
body. Following this, it says that we are the temple of the living God. In the
book of 1 Corinthians, the believers’ bodies are considered the temple of God.
One group of people were idol worshippers, while the other group of people
said, “Our bodies are the temple of God. We cannot defile the temple of God.”
What we do with our friends is related very much to our body. Drinking,
smoking, and other activities all affect the body; they touch the body. But the
body is the temple of God. One should not destroy this temple or defile it. We
must preserve our body as we preserve God’s temple. The living God dwells
in us, and we must not destroy this temple. We are the temple of God, while
they are the temple of idols. They are related to idols, visible or invisible.
They do not care for the holiness of the body, but we do. Do you see the
difference here? How can the two be yoked together?

We can never be friends with unbelievers. There is only one result if we

befriend them—we are dragged down with them. We should never think that
we are strong and steadfast and that it is all right for us to make a few
unbelieving friends. Let me say that we have been Christians for many years,
but we are still fearful of making friends with unbelievers. A relationship with
them invariably brings loss to us. We should contact them only for the sake
of bringing them to a meeting or testifying to them. Apart from this, all other
contact is dangerous. Once we are in their midst, we will have to sacrifice our
standard. It will be hard for us to maintain our Christian standard when we
are among them.

C. Evil Companionships Corrupting Good Morals

First Corinthians 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived: Evil companionships
corrupt good morals.” Having evil companionships means to have improper
friends. It is better to translate “evil companionships” as “improper
fellowship” or “improper communication.” The result of such evil
companionship is the corruption of good morals. Corrupt means “decay,” as
the decay of wood by worms. Evil companionship decays good morals.

The expression good morals in a milder sense can be rendered “good

manners.” Good morals is a stronger expression. The original meaning of the
word lies somewhere between these two words. The word moral is too
strong, while the word manner is too light. It is probably somewhere in
between. I think it is better to translate the word as “appearance.” This is
milder than the word moral but stronger than the word manner. We can say
that improper communication corrupts good appearance. You may be very
godly before God, but after you meet an unbeliever who jokes, you begin to
laugh. There are some jokes we should not laugh at. But many times we feel
that we do not need to be so stifled when we are among them; we feel that if
we loosen up a little, they will welcome us more. But this is improper
communication, and it corrupts good appearance.

Improper communication and good appearance are opposites. One is good,

while the other is bad. The bad will corrupt the good. We must avoid this
corruption. Since the Lord’s life is within us, we should spend time to
cultivate good habits and learn to be restricted in the Lord. We must learn
day by day to be godly, careful, regimented, and restricted persons.

Please remember that one contact with unbelievers and one improper
communication with them will waste much time. This is a great loss. Each
time you communicate with unbelievers, you may need three or five days
before you will be recovered to your proper standing, because unbelievers
can affect your appearance, habits, and moral conduct before men. This is
surely not profitable.

D. Neither Walking, Standing, Nor Sitting

Psalm 1:1-2 says, “Blessed is the man / Who does not walk / In the counsel
of the wicked, / Nor stand on the path of sinners, / Nor sit in the company of
mockers. / Rather his delight is in the law of Jehovah, / And in His law he
meditates by day and by night.”

Unbelievers have much counsel to offer. It is most pitiful for God’s children
to seek counsel from unbelievers when they have problems. Many children
of God ask unbelievers what they should do when they encounter problems.
Even when they give you counsel, you cannot do what they counsel you to do.
I have many unbelieving friends who offer me advice concerning many
things even though I have not asked for it. If you listen to them, you will
realize that all their thoughts concern how they may profit themselves. They
do not ask whether a matter is right or wrong or whether it is God’s will. They
have only one motive—personal profit. Can we do something that is purely
for our own profit? Some of their counsel not only is for their own profit but
even causes loss to others. Some profit does not come at the expense of
others, and some does. How can a believer walk in the counsel of an
unbeliever?

If you become too intimate with an unbeliever, it will be hard for you to turn
his counsel down. As a result, you will be carried away. If you seek counsel
from five friends together, it will be hard to reject their suggestion and say
no to them, because they are your friends. They have a unified, a unanimous,
proposal, and it is good for you. If you talk with them, it means that you are
seeking counsel from them. But their advice only comes from their mind. You
should not follow this advice.

Moreover, there are many places where you cannot go. Sinners have their
own path and their own places. They do not come to church if they want to
gamble. They have their own places and their own path. Today, if you
communicate with unbelievers, you are taking their path even if you say you
are not one of them. This is hard. An unbeliever may want to go to a place
that you should not go to. Even if you say that you will not go inside, you are
still on the same path. Although you may say good-by and part with them at
the door, you have already gone the same way. “Blessed is the man / Who
does not walk / In the counsel of the wicked, / Nor stand on the path of
sinners.” God does not want us to be in their places, and He does not want
us to even stand on their path. God wants us to be fully separated from them.
We cannot befriend them. Once we befriend them, we will stand on their path
or at least touch their places.

“Nor sit in the company of mockers.” Almost all unbelievers are mockers. I
have seldom found a brother whose friends did not joke with him or make
fun of the Lord’s name. I met many unbelievers during the first few years of
my Christian life who joked about the Lord’s name whenever I saw them.
They blasphemed the name of the Lord. If you sit among unbelievers, they
will ridicule you, and the Lord’s name will be blasphemed. They may not
mention the Lord’s name before you join them; they may not have the
intention to blaspheme the Lord’s name. But your presence gives them the
opportunity to talk about Jesus and Christianity. They will carry on with their
jokes. If you do not want to sit in the company of mockers or listen to their
mocking, you must not communicate or fellowship with them or befriend
them in any way.

IV. REPLACING FRIENDS

WITH BROTHERS IN THE CHURCH
A person must settle the matter of friendship during the first few weeks of
his Christian life. He must change all his friends. You must tell all your
friends what has happened to you. You may still maintain some friendship
with them, but this friendship cannot be intimate in any way. You must
change all your friends. You must learn to be a brother in the church and
replace your former friends with brothers in the church.

We do not want to go to the extreme. We do not hate our former friends, and
we do not want to ignore them altogether. But now our contact with them
must be on a different level. Learn to testify to them and bring the Lord to
them. We should be with them for only five minutes, fifteen minutes, half an
hour, or an hour. Do not continue to sit among them. Do not talk about
worldly things with them. Learn to take your stand and try your best to bring
them to the Lord and the church. Testify to them and preach the gospel to
them. Try your best to make them brothers and sisters in the church. Do not
make friends or have friendship outside the circle of brothers.

I can assure you that a believer with too many unbelieving friends will surely
be a defeated Christian. Even if he does not sin, he will become worldly. If a
person loves the Lord, serves Him, and is faithful to Him and is exercised in
himself, he cannot possibly have many worldly friends. If a person has many
frivolous friends, it proves that he is sick.

We should not have unclean lips, and we should not dwell among people of
unclean lips. In the sight of God, it is wrong to have unclean lips. It is equally
wrong and requires equal confession to dwell among people of unclean lips.
It is wrong for us to sin, and it also is wrong to dwell among sinners. We need
to ask God for grace so that we ourselves do not sin. We need His grace so
that we do not cultivate intimate friendship with sinners. You would be angry
at someone if he said that you were a thief. Neither would it be a compliment
if he said that you were in the company of thieves or that you were a friend
of thieves.

The first question a person should ask before the Lord is about himself. The
second question he should ask is about his friends. Next to the person
himself, a person is represented by his acquaintances. If he wants to remain
strong, he must not be careless about his acquaintances and friendships. The
minute he becomes careless about his friends, he is defeated. Never be
careless in this matter. You must leave all your former friends behind. Learn
to make friends with those who fellowship in the church. Your
communication with them should be something in the Lord. You should
replace all of your former communication with communication that is in the
Lord.

V. THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP IN THE CHURCH

A. Friendship Being Something
That Goes Beyond Normal Relationships
By now you should see that friendship is something very special. It is a
relationship which goes beyond social status. It is a relationship that is free
from formality. When a communication goes beyond social status and
formality, that is friendship. I once said that some fathers are friends to their
sons, while other fathers remain fathers for life. I know that some mothers
have never been friends to their daughters; the mothers are strictly mothers
and the daughters are strictly daughters; they have never been friends to each
other. There are many people who never become friends to those in their
family; the husband remains strictly a husband, and the wife remains strictly
a wife. Many supervisors in offices take a very lofty position, and their
subordinates remain inferior to them. There is only an employer-employee
relationship between them; they have never been friends to each other.
Although some become friends, these are rare exceptions. Being a friend to
someone means going beyond the normal relationship. It means to have an
acquaintance that extends beyond the normal relationship.

Abraham was a friend of God. If he had behaved strictly as a man and God
had behaved strictly as God, they would not have been friends. Abraham
forgot his status, and God also set aside His status. Thus, Abraham could be
a friend to God.

The Lord Jesus also became a friend to sinners. The Lord Jesus could not
have become a friend to sinners if He had remained in His own position. He
became a friend because He left that position. If He had not stepped from
His position, He could only have been a Savior and not a friend to man. I
hope you can see what a friend is. As sinners we could never be joined to the
Lord. He is the Judge and we are the judged. He is the Savior and we are the
saved. But the Lord laid aside everything to become a friend to sinners. This
is why others called Him the Friend of sinners. This is how He leads them to
accept Him as their Savior.

I believe that after a person has been in the Lord for a long time and has
developed a deep relationship with Him, he will find some brothers in the
church to be his friends. He can go beyond the normal relationship. The third
Epistle of John is quite clear about this matter. In 3 John, John no longer
seemed to be an apostle. He had become an elder instead.

I want to draw your attention to the fact that 3 John was written when John
was very old. The letter was written about thirty years after Paul was
martyred. At that time Peter also had passed away. Of the twelve apostles,
John was the only one left. He wrote as “the elder to Gaius” (v. 1). He was
indeed elderly. I like his third Epistle very much. Third John is different from
the other Epistles. First John speaks of “fathers,” “young men,” and “young
children.” It seems that John was still conscious of clear distinctions there.
But in the last verse of 3 John, he had come to a different place; he was
standing in a very special position. He was very old by then and could call a
seventy-year-old man his son. He was very old, perhaps in his nineties. At
such an old age, when he had so much knowledge and had traveled so far in
his spiritual journey, he did not address his brothers and sisters as brothers
and sisters. He did not use such terms as children, young men, or fathers.He
simply said, “The friends greet you. Greet the friends by name.” Do you not
sense a certain flavor here? In reading God’s Word, we have to touch its
flavor and its spirit before we can comprehend the meaning behind the word.
If we do not touch the flavor and the spirit, our reading will be fruitless. Here
was a man who was so old that he had practically lost all his friends. Peter
was dead and so was Paul, but John could still say, “The friends greet you.
Greet the friends.” Here was a man with so much riches in him. We can say
that he had arrived at the pinnacle of his riches. He had followed the Lord
for many years and had touched many things. Now he was so old that he
could pat the head of a sixty or seventy-year-old man and call him, “My
child.” But he did not say this. Instead he said, “My friends.” I do not know
whether you understand what I am trying to say. This has nothing to do with
position; John was not speaking in his normal capacity. This kind of speaking
uplifts a person. Just as the Lord was a friend to sinners and just as God
became a friend to Abraham, John also treated all of God’s children, young
and old, as his friends. This is altogether different from what we spoke about
earlier in this chapter.

B. The Emphasis in the Church Being

the Brother Relationship
Some day some of our young ones may arrive at this stage, but today they
must behave as brothers in the church. The matter of friendship occupies a
very high place in the church. Some day, when we reach a high plane, we may
become a friend to little children. We can be far above them, yet can honor
them by calling them our friends. Before that day comes, the church must
emphasize the relationship of brothers and sisters, not the relationship of
friends.

It is interesting to note that the church pays attention to many things, but
not friendship. This is because friendship is something that goes beyond the
normal relationship. It is something that is beyond the ordinary, something
that stands on special ground. Friendship is when a great man honors
another man by being his friend. Such a man can be so great that he can call
another person his friend. This is not something that any brother or sister
can do. Those who are young in the Lord should learn to maintain their
relationship as brothers and sisters in the Lord. I hope that you will separate
yourself from your former friends and have communication and fellowship
with the brothers and sisters in the church instead. If you do this, it will save
you from many problems as you go on in your spiritual journey.