Tips in Approaching Emotionally Loaded Discussions in Sharing
Guideline
AVOID DO
Calm Actions:
Actions:
support
● Panicking, matching the intensity of the
● Do some calming or grounding exercises for yourself
emotion of the participant (e.g. being
to regulate your emotions (e.g. 4-7-8 breathing, etc.)
worked up when the participant is angry,
● Speak in a calm tone of voice (your calm will be
crying, etc.)
absorbed by the participant).
No judgment Actions:
Actions:
● Doubtful facial expression
● Neutral and calm facial expressions
● Closed position (crossing of arms, legs)
● Head nods
● Shaking head in disagreement while
participant is sharing
Words:
● Minimal encouragers that convey acknowledgement
Words:
of feelings such as: “Mmm.”
● Saying unfounded assumptions or
● “I see.”
accusations, such as: “Maybe you were
● “What led to that?”
late because you were texting the whole
night.”
● “Ah, ganoon ba.”
● “Paano yun nangyari?”
No Words:
direction Actions:
on how to ● “Don’t feel sad/angry/depressed/etc, you
feel ● Nodding of head, listening intently, silence and giving
should feel ______.”
space for the sharing
● “Wag ka dapat malungkot/umiyak/magalit,
dapat ____ ka lang.”
Words:
● Minimal encouragers that convey acknowledgement
of feelings such as: “Mmm.”
● “I understand that you are feeling <insert feeling>.”
● “You sound <insert feeling>.”
● “That must be hard, thank you for sharing it.” (for
difficult emotions)
● “Pakiramdam mo <emosyon ng learner>”
● “Mukhang ikaw ay <emosyon ng learner>”
● “Parang ang hirap ng napagdaanan mo. Salamat sa
tiwala at pagbabahagi.”
No Words:
problem Actions:
solving ● Immediately saying “This is what you
● REMEMBER that cultivating safe spaces is about
should do” / “Do this” without asking first
empowerment, voice and choice. It builds on the
what the learner thinks
individual’s strength, experience and ability to heal
● For highly sensitive or traumatic
and promote recovery from their own trauma.
disclosures, giving directives on how they
should handle the situation.
Words:
● For administrative challenges, offering the
● “Thank you for trusting us to share that.”
solution immediately without giving a
● “Salamat sa tiwala at pagbabahagi.”
chance for the learner to think of their own
solutions.
For non-trauma situations that deal with day-to-day
challenges of the youth in their workplace, you may opt to
ask facilitative questions first that help them think about their
own solutions before offering additional suggestions and
guidance.
● “What would you like to happen here?”
● “What actions do you think you can do to reach what
you want to happen?”
● “Ano ang nais mong mangyari sa sitwasyon na ito?”
“Ano sa tingin mo yung mga maaring gawin para
mangyari iyon?”
No digging Words:
for details Words:
● “What else happened? Tell us more”
● “Thank you for trusting us to share that.”
● “Salamat sa tiwala at pagbabahagi.”
● “Ano pa ang nangyari? Kwento mo sa
amin.” Actions:
● The facilitator may also opt to check-in with the
participant privately after the session if the sharing
was particularly heavy.
● Be familiar with referral systems to psychosocial
specialists for highly sensitive cases shared
No trying Words:
to change Words:
thinking ● “You should think of it this way ________.”
● “What made you think of it that way?” (allowing them
● “Just think positive!”
to share their thoughts and respecting it)
● "Are there other ways to look at the situation?"
● “Dapat ganito ang isipin mo ______.”
(facilitating their thinking of alternative thoughts)
● “Maging positive ka lang!”
● “What else do you think you want to do?” (facilitating
their thinking of alternative actions)
● “Ano ang nagpaisip sa iyo nito?”
● “Ano pa kaya yung ibang paraan para tingnan natin
ang sitwasyon?”
● “Ano yung mga naiisip mong gawin?”
