Moreover, small talks are the fundamental in building

The Fine Art of Small Talk relationships, and to maintain that relationship. Those who are good
at small talks, they have the gift to make others feel included, valued
and comfortable. And this gift makes them extraordinary. Do you
 Debra Fine
 Sum by; Hamidullah Ahmadi – EAP5
really think those who are smiling and saying the exact words that
makes us feel good are intrinsically born with it?
I do not think; we have to learn it. A little practice, patience and
effort is needed.
 Introduction; 2. Start a Conversation; Silence Is Not Golden!
“The fine art of small talk” mainly talks about small every-day It is obvious why many of us lack conversation skill; because, as
conversations, and their important in personal, relationship and child and adult, we are taught that silence is gold. But, being silence
financial areas of our lives. The author provides useful and can cause us huge price in the future. And keep in mind that mostly,
functional tips and techniques to help us, start a conversation, keep silence is assumed arrogance rather than shyness. (No way)
it going and at the end leave a positive impression.
On the other hand, good things await you if you can just move
out of your comfort-zone and start a conversation. Do not forget,
people will embrace your effort and appreciate your friendship. Just
1. What Is the Big Deal about Small Talk? start a conversation, share your story, and listen to their stories as
well. That is all; the rest is about practicing, and being patient. And
This art of small talk is really essential in business. Take this as an eventually, you shall become a great conversationalist.
example; you are buying a laptop. And you have found your favorite
laptop in two stores at same quality and price. The owner of shop A  Tip1; Create few questions as conversation ice-breaker and use
is busy with his cellphone and answer your question with yes/no. In them to start a conversation.
contrast, the owner of shop B is friendly, and is telling stories with a  Tip2; Names are powerful; it shows that you care about people
cheerful smile. So, from which store, do you buy the computer? – as individuals – everyone wants to be recognized as unique
identity.
Only residents of Ali-Abad would say Shop A. 
 3. Keep the Conversation Going 5. Prepare & Practice
Mainly, there are two assumptions that prevent people from
Just start the conversation! At the beginning, it may seem
having an enjoyable conversation; People are afraid of having a
effortful. And once you have started, it will become easy. But,
normal life and being self-centered.
starting a conversation is just a part of being it. The next challenge
But, everyone has a normal life – or in their eyes, their lives are
is keeping the conversation going. How?
normal. And there is always something to talk, something unique
about everyone. About being self-centered, it is something that
Simply, listen! I mean real listening. And of course, you have to
can be controlled – maybe effortful.
speak as well – if not equally, at least 1/3. And more importantly,
show interest – real interest. As result, you will become more
And sometimes, even a professional conversationalist without
interesting to them. And people will talk to you. You will be richly
preparation may struggle in a conversation; a little preparation can
awarded. (Also, it is really interesting to listen to different ideas.)
be a big help. Find interesting and relevant questions by doing
research about whom you are going to have conversation. Then
 Tip; an effective way to keep a conversation going is to ask
asking the right questions and giving the right answer and opinion
open-ended questions.
makes the conversation interesting and keeps it going.
4. Hearing VS. Listening
Once again remember that the skill to be a great
Studies show that we hear 300 words per minute. But we can conversationalist can be learned. And of course, if you want to learn,
only speak about 150-200. That is why, while listening, we go day- start practicing right away.
dreaming as well. And that results in, hearing the sentences, but not
really getting what is said. And this acts like a virus in conversations;
 Tip; If nothing to say, compliment is the best and safest way
kill them all.
to start the conversation. (logical and real compliment is
suggested.)
A good listening is made of three elements; visual, verbal and
mental. Listening is more than just hearing, we have to be mentally
6. Warning & Exit
involved too. Body language – eye contact – and verbal interaction
shows that someone is really listening. And of course, it is better to Warning1: It is better to avoid some conversational topics that
really listen and get what is saying, otherwise, it would be better not are not appropriate and can kill a conversation; questionable topics,
to continue the meaningless conversation. gossip, personal misfortune and… (p. 96 – 97)
 Warning2: We should watch out for conversational criminals for  Conclusion;
following reasons; first, ensure our own safety. Second, to prevent
becoming one of those. Third, if we are one of those stop being one We have all learned how important it is to make small
of those – cure. The list - criminals - is available in book. conversation with friends and strangers. Then we learned how to
start a conversation, how to keep that going. It is obvious that the
Exits: skill of being an excellent conversationalist can be learned though
Why to leave a conversation when we try hard to start and practical use. All we need is to use the useful knowledge and tips
maintain it? First and foremost, to avoid the mentioned criminals. from “The Art of Small Talks”, and really practice them every day.
Second, we do not have all the time to follow up with every
conversation.

Exit1; The reason why you are leaving should be true, no excuses. My Final Words ;
It should not seem that you are ignoring or not caring about person.
This book helped me a lot (Books are usually helpful.) I myself
Exit2; When leaving, appreciate meeting him/her and admit how
have difficulty to start and have conversation with strangers and
much you have enjoyed being with that person.
even my best friend. (I got a lot better nowadays). And I have come
Exit3; When leaving, ask to see him/her again as soon as possible. to realize these small talks are important, but thanks to Ms. Fine, I
know the solution. Small talks are really important to be successful
 Essential Tips to Remember; in academic and professional life. But more importantly for just
enjoying our lives and helping other to enjoy the life.
1) Be first to say hello and risk to start the conversation.
2) Practice different ways of starting conversation and have your
ice-breaker question lists with yourself.
3) Use and remember one’s name.  Thank You Sir – Mr. Yasin Akbari – for sharing this book;
4) Listen and show interest – real listening & interest. though there are a lot to thank.
5) The only purpose is to make other feel good – yourself too. Every day, I realize how unique you are.
6) Be aware of your body language. (smile & make eye contact)
7) Be prepared to ask question – the right one.
8) Avoid being a conversational criminal.