jack prelutsky

I met a dragon face to face

I met a dragon face to face

the year when I was ten,
I took a trip to outer space,
I braved a pirate's den,
I wrestled with a wicked troll,
and fought a great white shark,
I trailed a rabbit down a hole,
I hunted for a snark.

I stowed aboard a submarine,

I opened magic doors,
I traveled in a time machine,
and searched for dinosaurs,
I climbed atop a giant's head,
I found a pot of gold,
I did all this in books I read
when I was ten years old.
Super Samson Simpson

I am Super Samson Simpson,

I'm superlatively strong,
I like to carry elephants,
I do it all day long,
I pick up half a dozen
and hoist them in the air,
it's really somewhat simple,
for I have strength to spare.

My muscles are enormous,

they bulge from top to toe,
and when I carry elephants,
they ripple to and fro,
but I am not the strongest
in the Simpson family,
for when I carry elephants,
my grandma carries me.
Deep In Our Refrigerator

Deep in our refrigerator,

there's a special place
for food that's been around awhile...
we keep it, just in case.
'It's probably too old to eat,'
my mother likes to say.
'But I don't think it's old enough
for me to throw away.'

It stays there for a month or more

to ripen in the cold,
and soon we notice fuzzy clumps
of multicolored mold.
The clumps are larger every day,
we notice this as well,
but mostly what we notice
is a certain special smell.

When finally it all becomes

a nasty mass of slime,
my mother takes it out, and says,
'Apparently, it's time.'
She dumps it in the garbage can,
though not without regret,
then fills the space with other food
that's not so ancient yet
A Pizza the Size of the Sun

I'm making a pizza the size of the sun,

a pizza that's sure to weigh more than a ton,
a pizza too massive to pick up and toss,
a pizza resplendent with oceans of sauce.

I'm topping my pizza with mountains of cheese,

with acres of peppers, pimentos, and peas,
with mushrooms, tomatoes, and sausage galore,
with every last olive they had at the store.

My pizza is sure to be one of a kind,

my pizza will leave other pizzas behind,
my pizza will be a delectable treat,
that all who love pizza are welcome to eat.

The oven is hot, I believe it will take

a year and a half for my pizza to bake.
I can hardly wait til my pizza is done,
my wonderful pizza the size of the sun.
Homework! Oh, Homework!

Homework! Oh, Homework!

I hate you! You stink!
I wish I could wash you away in the sink,
if only a bomb
would explode you to bits.
Homework! Oh, homework!
You're giving me fits.

I'd rather take baths

with a man-eating shark,
or wrestle a lion
alone in the dark,
eat spinach and liver,
pet ten porcupines,
than tackle the homework,
my teacher assigns.

Homework! Oh, homework!

you're last on my list,
I simple can't see
why you even exist,
if you just disappeared
it would tickle me pink.
Homework! Oh, homework!
I hate you! You stink!
The Visitor

it came today to visit

and moved into the house
it was smaller than an elephant
but larger than a mouse

first it slapped my sister

then it kicked my dad
then it pushed my mother
oh! that really made me mad

it went and tickled rover

and terrified the cat
it sliced apart my necktie
and rudely crushed my hat

it smeared my head with honey

and filled the tub with rocks
and when i yelled in anger
it stole my shoes and socks

that's just the way it happened

it happened all today
before it bowed politely
and softly went away
Last Night I Dreamed Of Chickens

Last night I dreamed of chickens,

there were chickens everywhere,
they were standing on my stomach,
they were nesting in my hair,
they were pecking at my pillow,
they were hopping on my head,
they were ruffling up their feathers
as they raced about my bed.

They were on the chairs and tables,

they were on the chandeliers,
they were roosting in the corners,
they were clucking in my ears,
there were chickens, chickens, chickens
for as far as I could see...
when I woke today, I noticed
there were eggs on top of me.
A Festival for Frogs

We’re at the Frog Fiesta.

It’s a festival for frogs,
where the frogs are dancing happily
in cowboy boots and clogs.

They parade in wide sombreros

and in brightly colored shirts,
or they swing and sway in circles
in their broad embroidered skirts.

They are bopping to the melodies

of famous froggy songs,
or they’re croaking to the choruses
of froggy sing-alongs.

It’s a hopping hootenanny

on a lovely summer’s eve.
It’s a dance that’s so fantastic.
It’s a bash you can’t believe.

And it’s on a night like this one,

near a bayou, on a bog,
that I sometimes make a little wish…
I wish to be a frog.

— Kenn Nesbitt
Mr. Negative

I’m known as Mr. Negative.

My favorite word is “No.”
No matter what you say to me
I’ll say it isn’t so.

I’ll gladly burst your bubble

as I rain on your parade,
and when life gives you lemons,
I’ll say, “Don’t make lemonade!”

Now, please don’t try to cheer me up

with happiness and hope.
You might be bright and bouncy
but my answer’s always, “Nope.”

I’m also fond of “never,”

“absolutely not,” “no way,”
“thumbs down,” “uh-uh,” “forget it,”
“not by any means,” and, “nay.”

I’m positively negative!

I’m glad I told you though.
So, don’t come looking for a “Yes.”
I know you know I “No.”

— Kenn Nesbitt
Today a Tiger Tackled Me

Today a tiger tackled me.

He tracked me down a trail,
then took me in his teeth and tried
to tie me with his tail.

I twisted and I turned until

I took off up a tree.
A treacherous tarantula
then tried to torture me.

I took a tiny tumble and

I toppled from the tree.
A T-rex took a trip through time
to try to trample me.

I’m telling you my tale is true.

So, take a tip from me…
You’re totally in trouble if
you drink a ton of T.

— Kenn Nesbitt
My Frog Was in an Accident

My frog was in an accident.

He broke a rib today.
He’s toadally unhoppy and
his rib—it’s not okay.

I took him to the hopspital

to fix the rib he broke.
He’ll need a hopperation now.
Without it, he might croak.

The doctor’s hoptimistic

he’ll be playing hop-scotch soon,
or jumping on a toadstool
by this Fly-day afternoon.

This story should be ribbiting,

but just in case it’s not,
the reason that I told it was…
Oh, sorry, I frogot.

— Kenn Nesbitt
Breakfast

Hard-Boiled Bugs for Breakfast

Hard-boiled bugs for breakfast,

Hard-boiled bugs for lunch,

Hard-boiled bugs at suppertime,

Crunchy! Crunchy! Crunch!

Hard-boiled bugs are tastier

Than spiders, flies, or slugs.

There’s not a doubt about it—

I love those hard-boiled bugs.

From Hard-Boiled Bugs for Breakfast, Greenwillow Books, 2021.

Lunch

Rat for Lunch

Rat for lunch! Rat for lunch!

Yum! Delicious! Munch munch munch!

One by one or by the bunch—

Rat, oh rat, oh rat for lunch!

Scrambled slug in salty slime

is our choice at breakfast time,

but for lunch, we say to you,

nothing but a rat will do.

Rat for lunch! Rat for lunch!

Yum! Delicious! Munch munch munch!

One by one or by the bunch—

Rat, oh rat, oh rat for lunch!

For our snack each afternoon,

we chew bits of baked baboon,

curried squirrel, buttered bat,

but for lunch it must be rat.

Rat for lunch! Rat for lunch!

Yum! Delicious! Munch munch munch!

One by one or by the bunch—

Rat, oh rat, oh rat for lunch!

In the evening we may dine

on fillet of porcupine,

buzzard gizzard, lizard chops,

but for lunch a rat is tops.

Rat for lunch! Rat for lunch!

Yum! Delicious! Munch munch munch!

One by one or by the bunch—

Rat, oh rat, oh rat for lunch!

Rat, we love you steamed or stewed,

blackened, broiled, or barbecued.

Pickled, poached, or fried in fat,

there is nothing like a rat.

Rat for lunch! Rat for lunch!

Yum! Delicious! Munch munch munch!

One by one or by the bunch—

Rat, oh rat, oh rat for lunch!

From A Pizza the Size of the Sun, Greenwillow Books, 1994.

Dinner

The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven

The turkey shot out of the oven

and rocketed into the air,

it knocked every plate off the table

and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner

and burst with a deafening boom,

then splattered all over the kitchen,

completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,

it totally coated the floor,

there was turkey attached to the ceiling,

where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,

it smeared every saucer and bowl,

there wasn’t a way I could stop it,

that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,

and thought with chagrin as I mopped,

that I’d never again stuff a turkey

with popcorn that hadn’t been popped.

From Something Big Has Been Here, Greenwillow Books, 1990.

Dessert

Bleezer's Ice Cream

I am Ebenezer Bleezer,

I run BLEEZER'S ICE CREAM STORE,

there are flavors in my freezer

you have never seen before,

twenty-eight divine creations

too delicious to resist,

why not do yourself a favor,

try the flavors on my list:

COCOA MOCHA MACARONI

TAPIOCA SMOKED BALONEY

CHECKERBERRY CHEDDAR CHEW

CHICKEN CHERRY HONEYDEW

TUTTI-FRUTTI STEWED TOMATO

TUNA TACO BAKED POTATO

LOBSTER LITCHI LIMA BEAN

MOZZARELLA MANGOSTEEN

ALMOND HAM MERINGUE SALAMI

YAM ANCHOVY PRUNE PASTRAMI

SASSAFRAS SOUVLAKI HASH

SUKIYAKI SUCCOTASH

BUTTER BRICKLE PEPPER PICKLE

POMEGRANATE PUMPERNICKEL

PEACH PIMENTO PIZZA PLUM

PEANUT PUMPKIN BUBBLEGUM

BROCCOLI BANANA BLUSTER

CHOCOLATE CHOP SUEY CLUSTER

AVOCADO BRUSSELS SPROUT

PERIWINKLE SAUERKRAUT

COTTON CANDY CARROT CUSTARD

CAULIFLOWER COLA MUSTARD

ONION DUMPLING DOUBLE DIP

TURNIP TRUFFLE TRIPLE FLIP

GARLIC GUMBO GRAVY GUAVA

LENTIL LEMON LIVER LAVA

ORANGE OLIVE BAGEL BEET

WATERMELON WAFFLE WHEAT

I am Ebenezer Bleezer,

I run BLEEZER'S ICE CREAM STORE,

taste a flavor from my freezer,

you will surely ask for more.

From The New Kid on the Block, Greenwillow Books, 1984.