Irony Detectives Activity

Directions: Read the following crime related ironic passages. Using the irony detectives answer sheet, determine
which type of irony is used each passage based on clues that you find, then make your case.

1. Assault and Battery

Annie Allen loved her fiancé Scott. Annie loved him so much that he was all that
she thought about all day. Feeling particularly in love with Scott, Annie thought
that she’d surprise him with romance, so she snuck into his house using the spare
key under his doormat and waited in his room for him to come home from a
business trip. While waiting for him to come home, she thought the surprise
might be even better if she hid in his closet. So she did. Twenty minutes later, she
heard keys rustling in the lock. The door slammed, and then she heard the sound
of feet walking up the stairs and Scott’s voice. “You know I can’t wait to see you,
Baby,” she thought she heard Scott say. He must be leaving me a message, Annie
pleasantly thought to herself. Then she heard Scott continue to talk. “No, she’s
nothing serious. And besides, you know you’re the one I love, Katie.” Annie’s
heart dropped. She grabbed the pepper spray from out of her purse, unlatched the
safety, and felt her hand tense on the release button. Scott walked into the room,
smiling and laughing as he flirted with Katie on the phone.

2. Reckless Endangerment
Swanson Wisconsin was a famous child star. She had several platinum selling
albums, her own TV sitcom, and a series of straight-to-DVD films that received
terrible reviews but sold really well. Swanson Wisconsin was extremely wealthy
and had the respect and admiration of millions of boys and girls around the world.
She was everywhere. She was even the face of the antidrug movement. Swanson
Wisconsin appeared on several commercials, billboards, and bus advertisements
telling young people not to use drugs. All over the country the message was
heard: “Be like Swanson Wisconsin. Think up. Don’t get high.” One fateful
December evening, Swanson Wisconsin crashed her Bentley into hotdog stand.
No one was injured, but Swanson Wisconsin was extremely disorientated. At the
hospital, blood tests revealed that Swanson Wisconsin had enough crystal meth,
cocaine, and tranquilizers in her system to murder an elephant.
Irony Detectives Activity
Directions: Read the following crime related ironic passages. Using the irony detectives answer sheet, determine
which type of irony is used each passage based on clues that you find, then make your case.

3. Breaking and Entering

Jimmy the Lock was a master safecracker. He could bust open any safe in the
world in under an hour using a crow bar, stethoscope, drill, and sledgehammer.
No lock could hold Jimmy and that’s why they called him “the Lock.” Jimmy
was scheduled to do a six-year stretch in Statesville for a bank job that got messy
in suburbs, but he checked himself out before they could slam the cell door shut.
Now Jimmy was set up to get the score of his life. He had the blueprints all laid
out to do a job on an armored car diamond delivery. Gathering up all of his tools
and gear, Jimmy headed out the door to meet his contact, Bobby the Rat, but
when he got to his car, he couldn’t find his keys. He patted down his pockets
before he realized that he must have left them in his other thieving-pants. Jimmy
went back to get his keys, but the door wouldn’t open. Jimmy the Lock had
locked himself out of his house.

4. Grand Theft Auto

Jack was on his way home from work when his wife Jill called him. He was in a
hurry to get home and watch his favorite show, COPS, but Jill said that he needed
to stop at the minimart to get some bread for dinner. Jack replied dutifully to his
wife, “Yes, Dear.” When he got to the minimart, Jack was in such a hurry that he
didn’t even pull into a parking spot. He just pulled up right next to the door. It
was 6:58, and COPS was starting in two minutes, so Jack just left his car running
and ran into the store. He grabbed the bread from the middle aisle and got in the
line behind a skinny guy wearing a leather jacket. Jack tapped his foot
impatiently as the man purchased lottery tickets. Finally, the clerk rang up Jack
right as Jack’s watch read 6:59. Jack hurriedly completed the transaction and ran
outside. As he went to jump into his car, he noticed that it was gone. He looked
around a bit, but it was nowhere in sight. “Great,” Jack sighed. His watch read
7:01. “How wonderful,” he said to himself, as he reached in his pocket to call his
wife.
Irony Detectives Activity
Directions: Read the following crime related ironic passages. Using the irony detectives answer sheet, determine
which type of irony is used each passage based on clues that you find, then make your case.

5. Larceny and Destruction of Property

Jose and his little brother Angel were always getting picked on by the older boys in his
neighborhood. After Angel had his lunch money stolen from him on his way home from
school, Jose decided that his family had been the victims of criminals for the last time. Jose
would join the Cobras, a gang that worked on his block. Jose thought that he and his brother
would have the protection that they needed to get to and from school without being harassed
if Jose were a Cobra. So Jose talked to Ice, the leader of the Cobras. Ice said that they might
have a spot for Jose, but he would have to pass an initiation: Jose would have to steal a
bicycle. Jose told Ice, “I’ll have to think about it,” but Ice responded, “Cobra’s don’t think
about doing what they’re told. If you want in, you’ll go steal that bike right over there at the
minimart.” Jose didn’t want to steal. He knew it was wrong, but he thought that the only
person who could give them protection was Ice. So Jose ran up to the bike. Jose hardly paid
attention to anything around him. His heart was beating so fast and he was so nervous,
everything was a blur. He grabbed the bike and rode it back to Ice. Ice was pleased and said,
“Great. Roll the bike off the top of that abandoned building and we’ll think about making you
a Cobra.” Jose didn’t want to destroy the property, but he was sick of his brother getting
picked on and being the victim of crime, so he would do it for him. Jose rolled the bike up
the seven flights of stairs to the building rooftop. His heart was beating like a drum machine.
Jose closed his eyes and pushed the bike off the building. He heard the sound of it smashing
to pieces and then he heard Ice and his gang chuckling. When he went back to Ice, Ice told
him that he had hesitated too much and that Cobra’s don’t hesitate, so Jose couldn’t get in the
gang. Jose couldn’t believe he did all of that for nothing, but he was kind of relieved that he
was leaving the gang life behind him. He went home to find his little brother crying. “What’s
wrong, Angel?” Jose asked concernedly. Angel replied in between sobs, “My… my… bike.
Somebody stole my bike.”

6. Vandalism
Though the police considered him a criminal, and property owners considered him a menace,
Noodles considered himself an artist. Noodles would paint huge murals and spray can
artwork on everything he could reach, water towers, billboards, shop windows, overpasses,
anything he could reach. One day, Noodles spray painted his name in big block letters over
the window of the local grocery store. When the store owner arrived the next day, he was
heard to utter, “Oh! Thank you. How nice of you, Noodles, to spray paint your name over my
store window like that. I really appreciate it.” He never got to thank Noodles personally,
though he often wished that he had.