CorvusTheFeatherbrain’s Homestuck Summaries

because it can be hard to find them all in the comment section

Still a work in progress.

Latest: Act 5 (Act 2) Part 4

If you have any questions, I’ve included a link to my original YouTube comment for each
part. Feel free to leave a reply and I’ll do my best to help you out!

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Table of Contents
Act 1
Act 1 Part 1
Act 1 Part 2
Act 1 Part 3
Act 1 Part 4
Act 1 Part 5
Act 1 Part 6

Act 2
Act 2 Part 1
Act 2 Part 2
Act 2 Part 3
Act 2 Part 4
Act 2 Part 5
Act 2 Part 6
Act 2 Part 7
Act 2 Part 8
Act 2 Part 9
Act 2 Part 10
Act 2 Part 11
Act 2 Part 12
Act 2 Part 13
Act 2 Part 14
Act 2 Part 15

Act 3
 Act 3 Part 1
Act 3 Part 2
Act 3 Part 3
Act 3 Part 4
Act 3 Part 5
Act 3 Part 6
Act 3 Part 7
Act 3 Part 8

Act 3 Intermission
Act 3 Intermission Part 1
Act 3 Intermission Part 2
Act 3 Intermission Part 3
Act 3 Intermission Part 4

Act 4
Act 4 Part 1
Act 4 Part 2
Act 4 Part 3
Act 4 Part 4
Act 4 Part 5
Act 4 Part 6
Act 4 Part 7
Act 4 Part 8
Act 4 Part 9
Act 4 Part 10
Act 4 Part 11
Act 4 Part 12
Act 4 Part 13

Act 5
Act 5 (Act 1)
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 1
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 2
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 3
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 4
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 5
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 6
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 7
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 8
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 9
 Act 5 (Act 1) Part 10
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 11
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 12
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 13
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 14
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 15
Act 5 (Act 2)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 1
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 2
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 3
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 4
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 5 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 6 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 7 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 8 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 9 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 10 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 11 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 12 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 13 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 14 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 15 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 16 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 17 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 18 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 19 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 20 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 21 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 22 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 23 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 24 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 25 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 26 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 27 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 28 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 29 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 30 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 31 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 32 (TBA)
 Act 5 (Act 2) Part 33 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 34 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 35 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 36 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 37 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 38 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 39 (TBA)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 40 (TBA)

Intermission 2

Act 6
Act 6 (Act 1)
Act 6 (Act 1) Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 1) Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 1) Part 3 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 1) Part 4 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 1
Act 6 Intermission 1 Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 1 Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 3 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 4 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 5 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 2) Part 6 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 2
Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 3 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 3 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 4 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 5 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 6 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 7 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 8 (TBA)
 Act 6 (Act 3) Part 9 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 10 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 1 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 2 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 3 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 4 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 5 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 6 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 7 (TBA)
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 8 (TBA)
Act 6 intermission 3 Part 9 (TBA)
Act 6 (Act 4)
Act 6 Intermission 4
Act 1

Act 1 Part 1
Pages 1 to 20

(original comment)

First off, a quick explanation. When Homestuck first began, readers could submit suggestions
for actions the characters could take. The author would pick from those suggestions to decide
where the story would go. This is why there's a lot of wacky nonsense at the start: people kept
suggesting really weird and random things, so it takes a while for the characters to make
progress towards anything. These suggestions were gradually phased out as the story
progressed, until the suggestion box was removed entirely around Act 4.

Anyway here's what happened in this part:

-We are introduced to our first protagonist: a young man named John Egbert. Today (April 13th,
2009) is his 13th birthday.
-John likes bad movies (especially Con Air), programming (which he is not very good at), magic
tricks, pranks, and video games.
-John has a strange sort of inventory system called a Sylladex which involves storing items on
cards. He doesn't really understand how it works yet and often gets frustrated by it. (Quick note:
it's not that important to understand how the Sylladex works. All you really need to know is that
it's a complicated inventory system that often causes shenanigans.)
-John's Dad wrote him a happy birthday note, saying that he is proud of his son.
-After struggling with his Sylladex and the random suggestions for a bit, John finally manages to
do something productive: nailing a movie poster to the wall.
Act 1 Part 2
Pages 21 to 40

(original comment)

-John is waiting to play the beta version of a new game called Sburb. It was supposed to come
out three days ago but he hasn't received his copy in the mail yet.
-John currently dislikes cake because his Dad has baked way too many and he's sick of eating
them.
-John uses a chat client called Pesterchum to chat with his friends online. John's username is
ectoBiologist [EB] and he types in blue with all lowercase letters.
-John talks to his friend turntechGodhead [TG] who types in red, all lowercase, with no
punctuation.
-John and TG discuss the movie poster John received for his birthday. TG asks if John has
received the Sburb beta yet. John has not, but TG has two copies already. TG suggests that
John go check his mailbox to see if the beta has arrived yet.
-John looks out his window and sees that the mail has arrived, but his Dad pulls into the
driveway and grabs the mail before John has the chance. John is reluctant to encounter his Dad
because he doesn't really want to spend time with him right now.
-Deciding to stay in his room for a while, John looks at one of his books: Colonel Sassacre's
Daunting Text of Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery. It's a very large book, heavy enough to
be dangerous if it fell on someone.
-TG suggests that John could play Sburb with someone called TT, who is apparently very eager
to play the game.
-John expresses his frustration with his Sylladex. TG mentions that his Bro taught him some
Sylladex tricks. TG suggests that John "allocate [his] strife specibus". (Note: this basically
means choosing what type of weapon you fight with and equipping said weapon)
-John allocates his strife specibus as "hammerkind", meaning that he can only equip hammers
as his weapon.
Act 1 Part 3
Pages 41 to 90

(original comment)

-John leaves his room and heads downstairs. We learn that John's Dad apparently really likes
harlequins: he has pictures and figurines of them everywhere. John doesn't like them very
much.
-Dad is back in the kitchen, baking even MORE cakes for John's birthday. Betty Crocker is now
John's archnemesis.
-There's an urn above the fireplace that contains the ashes of John's Nanna. It's implied that
she died by being crushed by a copy of Colonel Sassacre's.
-John accidentally spills Nanna's ashes everywhere.
-There's a large package in the middle of the room addressed to John. Dad has left another
encouraging note to John on the tag of the present.
-John opens the present and finds that it is a life-size harlequin doll. John immediately hates it.
-John finally puts Nanna's ashes back in the urn. He doesn't do a very good job of it.
-John gets a silly idea and heads back up to his room. He grabs the fake arms that he stuck in
the cake earlier.
-John is messaged by one of his other friends: tentacleTherapist [TT] who types in lilac purple
with proper capitalization and punctuation. She also uses a lot of flowery language.
-TT mentions that she heard John got a copy of the Sburb beta. John corrects her, saying his
Dad still has it. TT suggests that he go and get it from him.
-Back downstairs, John continues with his silly idea by sticking the fake arms to the harlequin
doll with cake frosting.
-Deciding to put off the encounter with his Dad for now, John instead enters his Dad's study.
There are even more harlequin posters and figurines here.
-The narration mentions that John has a severe peanut allergy.
-John demonstrates his ability to play the piano.
-Still avoiding his Dad, John heads outside to check the mailbox himself. It is indeed empty; Dad
already got the mail.
-The Homestuck title screen. You have a feeling that it's going to be a long day.
-John checks Dad's car. It's locked, but through the window he can see a green package with
some sort of envelope underneath it.
-John looks through the kitchen window (which is steamed up from all the baking) and sees a
red package as well as an envelope marked with the Sburb logo.
-With no other choice, John enters the kitchen to confront his Dad.
-John and Dad begin to Strife (battle). Dad tries to force more cake on his son, while John tries
to beat his Dad with a hammer. Neither is very successful.
Act 1 Part 4
Pages 91 to 140

(original comment)

John escapes the Strife with his Dad by setting off some smoke pellets, which causes the
smoke alarm to activate.
-While Dad is distracted, John grabs the red package, Sburb envelope, and his Dad's PDA.
-One of the fake arms John stuck on the harlequin doll has fallen off.
-Sylladex shenanigans make a mess of John's inventory. He heads to the bathroom to clean it
up.
-The narration notes that Dad's bedroom is locked and John has never seen inside it.
-In the bathroom, more Sylladex shenanigans result in the toilet getting stuffed full of cake.
-Back in John's room, yet another one of John's friends has been trying to contact him. This one
is gardenGnostic [GG], who types in bright green, all lowercase, with lots of emoticons and
excitement.
-GG wished John a happy birthday, but John was not around to reply.
-turntechGodhead [TG] messages John to let him know GG was looking for him.
-John and TG discuss John's taste in movies, which leads to a discussion of irony and the
present that John gave TG on his birthday, which TG is apparently wearing ironically.
-TG asks if John got the mail. John confirms. TG says he should probably go ahead and open
the red package.
-John asks if TG wants to play the Sburb beta, but he's not interested and again suggests that
John play with tentacleTherapist [TT], although she is currently offline due to an unstable
Internet connection.
-John opens his Typheus web browser to check out the latest MSPaint Adventure, which is
about a group of four gangsters called the Midnight Crew.
-John finally goes to install the Sburb beta, but it only brings up a command prompt saying that
it's waiting for the server to establish a connection. John is somewhat confused and frustrated.
-John sees that the red package is a birthday gift from TG.
-Sylladex shenanigans as John tries to open the red package. He ends up breaking a window,
flinging cake everywhere, and launching the PDA into the yard in the process.
-John finally opens the red package to discover that TG's gift to him is the actual stuffed bunny
prop used in the movie Con Air, along with a certificate of authenticity. John is ecstatic.
-TT is back online and messages John. She connects to Sburb as his server player. Sburb
installs on John's computer with a very trippy installation screen.
-John's room now has a menu and overlay similar to the Sims games, with navigation controls
and various options for selecting and moving around items. TT is able to use her cursor to
physically move items around in John's house.
Act 1 Part 5
Pages 141 to 190

(original comment)

-After John installs Sburb and tentacleTherapist [TT] connects as his server player, TT discovers
that she can use her mouse cursor to physically interact with the objects in John's house. She
uses this amazing ability to drop John's magic chest on the roof.
-John's Dad takes the car and leaves to get more baking supplies.
-John himself (the player) cannot be selected with the cursor.
-TT somehow expands the dimensions of John's room at the cost of something called "build
grist". She then drops a large mechanical object called the totem lathe into the room.
-John wants to move stuff around too. TT explains that he needs to install the server application
first. John realizes that the envelope under the green package in Dad's car is probably the
second Sburb disk. He'll have to get it when Dad returns later.
-TT retrieves the items that John launched into the yard earlier.
-TT drops two more large items around the house: the cruxtruder and the alchemiter. John
wonders what they are for and TT speculates that they have something to do with alchemy.
Neither John nor TT are entirely certain what the goal of playing Sburb is.
-John grabs the PDA and sees an application called Serious Business which seems to be a sort
of chat client or message board where businessmen discuss their professional attire. John is
still under the impression that his Dad is a clownish street performer.
-John installs Pesterchum on the PDA so that he can communicate with his friends when he's
not at his computer.
-John looks through his telescope and sees a bright, clear sky. (PSA: Don't look at the sun with
a telescope!)
-TT attempts to clean up John's bathroom but only succeeds in ripping out the toilet. She drops
it in the backyard.
-John jumps through the new hole in the bathroom floor and into the laundry room. He finds a
sledgehammer and equips it.
-gardenGnostic [GG] messages John, asking if he got her present in the green box. John says it
arrived, but he can't open it yet since it's still in his Dad's car.
-John talks about Sburb and how TT is messing up his house. GG doesn't seem to know what
Sburb is.
-GG hears a loud explosion noise outside her house. John is concerned as she goes to
investigate.
-In the living room, John tries to turn the wheel on the cruxtruder. He can feel something trying
to move, but the lid is on too tight.
-For some reason TT rips the bathtub out as well. She briefly loses connection due to the
weather and drops the tub at the top of the stairs. John is not amused.
-TT considers moving somewhere else in her house to find a better signal, but she doesn't want
to encounter her alcoholic mother again. She can't go outside either, because it's dark and
raining where she is.
-With the help of TT and a sledgehammer, John removes the lid from the cruxtruder. A brightly
flashing blue orb emerges. A countdown of 4 minutes and 13 seconds begins on the side of the
cruxtruder.
-John is nervous. TT says that the walkthroughs on GameFAQs all end at around this point.
-John turns the wheel again and a blue cylinder of "cruxite" emerges from the cruxtruder.
-TT is also nervous about the countdown and encourages John to hurry. John can't respond
because of Sylladex shenanigans. TT drops another item John will need: a pre-punched card.
-Sylladex shenanigans cause damage to the harlequin doll, slashing out one of its eyes.
-The flashing blue orb, called a kernelsprite, is following John and trying to communicate
somehow. TT says it needs to be "prototyped", according to the walkthroughs.
-TT drops the one-armed, one-eyed harlequin doll into the kernelsprite, which takes on the
harlequin's appearance. It now talks in Fleur-de-lis symbols, which John still can't understand.
TT says that was only "tier one" prototyping and they'll still need to add something else to the
kernelsprite.
Act 1 Part 6
Pages 191 to 247

(original comment)

-John is able to use the cruxite dowel with the alchemiter to create three Perfectly Generic
Objects at the cost of two units of build grist each.
-John sees a meteor hurtling towards his exact location. The cruxtruder countdown has about
three minutes remaining.
-John's Dad returns home. He is confused by the blocked front door and the cake-filled toilet in
the yard.
-Back in John's room, he tells tentacleTherapist [TT] about the meteor he saw. TT thinks it has
something to do with the game and suggests that John use the pre-punched card on the totem
lathe.
-Frustrated with the poorly written GameFAQs walkthroughs, TT decides that she will write her
own once John is safe.
-turntechGodhead [TG] messages John. John thanks him for the bunny before explaining all the
chaos caused by Sburb, including the meteor. TG asks how big it is. John isn't sure, so he just
leaves the chat to carry on with more important business. TG rambles to himself about meteors
for a while.
-John's Dad is confused about the bathtub at the top of the stairs, but eventually just shrugs and
goes back to baking. TT replaces the toilet.
-John uses the pre-punched with the lathe. It carves the cruxite dowel into a totem. John asks
TT what to do with it next. TT loses connection before she can answer.
-TT's lost connection also results in her dropping the bathtub in front of John's bedroom door,
trapping him inside.
-Two minutes left on the countdown.

SUDDEN CHARACTER CHANGE!

-We are formally introduced to TT. She is a 13-year-old girl named Rose Lalonde. She likes
books, writing, Eldritch monsters, psychology, and knitting.
-An ongoing storm has knocked out all electricity to Rose's house.
-Rose has a purple box in her room, similar to the red and green boxes that John got in the mail
earlier. She refuses to let us see what is inside. She also doesn't want us to see her two writing
journals.
-Rose demonstrates her ability to play violin as John waits for death by meteor.
-Looking out her bedroom window, Rose sees the mausoleum where her dead cat Jaspers is
entombed. There is also a mysterious laboratory through the woods, which Rose suspects
probably has a strong WiFi signal.
-Rose picks up her laptop and leaves her room.
-Much like how John's Dad seems to be obsessed with harlequins, Rose's Mom is obsessed
with wizards, although Rose interprets this as a passive-aggressive jab towards her own
interests.
-Rose sneaks through the house, barely managing to avoid her Mom in the hallway.
-Rose enters the observatory and looks through the telescope. She sees numerous meteoroids
raining down from the sky.
-Rose manages to connect to an unsecured WiFi signal from the laboratory. She reconnects to
John with 40 seconds left on the countdown.
-Rose yanks John's door off the hinges so that he can take the new cruxite totem down to the
alchemiter and create the item it represents.
-The alchemiter scans the totem and creates a blue tree, from which an apple sprouts and falls
into John's hands.
-The countdown reaches the final seconds as the meteor hurtles towards John. At the very last
moment, John takes a bite of the apple.
-The meteor impacts.

END OF ACT 1
Act 2

Act 2 Part 1
Pages 248 to 271

(original comment)

-An unspecified number of years in the future, Earth has become a barren desert wasteland.
-The Wayward Vagabond (WV), a strange black creature shrouded in rags, stumbles across
some sort of metal object buried in the sand. He wipes the sand away to reveal the Sburb
spirograph.

-Back in the present, Rose has started writing her walkthrough on GameFAQs. She tells the
reader that by playing Sburb, they have unwittingly participated in bringing about the end of the
world.
-After taking a bite of the blue apple, John, the kernelsprite, his Dad, and their house have all
been transported to a mysterious dark realm, atop a rocky spire emerging from the clouds
below.
-There appear to be strange creatures lurking in the darkness.
-The kernelsprite divides into three pieces: a dark piece that descends into the clouds below
and a light piece that ascends and leaves a trail of spirographs in its wake. The third piece that
remained with John transforms into a ghostly harlequin sprite.
-John thinks he hears a strange voice calling him "BOY" and shouting commands to him. He
wanders around his house for a while. The Harlequinsprite follows him and the voice continues
giving commands and asking questions.
-John discovers that his Dad has gone missing from the kitchen. Only streaks of a black oily
substance remain.
-Checking outside, John sees that his house has been severed from the power grid. Despite
this, his house still has electricity somehow.
-John returns to his room, where there is more black sludge.
-Rose has been messaging John. He answers and explains that he was looking for his Dad.
Rose tells him that his neighborhood has been completely destroyed by the meteor impact.
John's house was spared through whatever method transported it to this realm.
-According to the news, there have been many meteor impacts with houses over the last few
days. John's meteor was the biggest so far.
-John speculates that the purpose of Sburb might be to save the world.
-Rose mentions that she's been working on a present for John, but she's running a bit late. She
wishes him a happy birthday nevertheless.
-Rose helps John retrieve his PDA.
-In the Serious Business application, someone named fedorafreak is trying to rescue all the hats
and ties from a burning building that was struck by a meteor.
-John admits to Rose that he's been hearing a voice compelling him to do strange things. Rose
wonders if it's an early symptom of PTSD.
-Rose encourages John to hurry up and prototype the Kernelsprite again; her laptop battery is
running out.
-The voice tries to get John to do some dangerous stunts. John resists.

-Back in the post-apocalyptic future, WV has opened the Sburb hatch and climbed down a
ladder inside.
-Inside is a terminal with four screens, one of which is showing John. WV uses the keyboard to
type a message to John: BOY.
Act 2 Part 2
Pages 272 to 291

(original comment)

-Rose continues writing her walkthrough for Sburb. She explains how the four starting items
(cruxtruder, totem lathe, alchemiter, and pre-punched card) are used as a sort of alchemy to
create objects out of thin air.
-Rose warns the reader not to do anything hasty with the cruxtruder because opening it starts
the countdown for the meteor strike.
-Rose explains the basic process for the alchemy:
1. Get a cruxite dowel out of the cruxtruder.
2. Insert a punched card into the totem lathe.
3. Use the totem lathe to carve the cruxite dowel into a totem.
4. Use the totem on the alchemiter to create the item.
-Rose notes that some items cost grist to create, whereas other items (such as the one
produced by the pre-punched card) do not cost anything, suggesting that those items are very
important to create.

-Back to the action. Rose looks outside the observatory and sees meteors beginning to fall
much more frequently, setting the forest around her house on fire.
-Rose's laptop battery is steadily decreasing and her house is still without power. She decides
that if it doesn't come back on soon, she'll head down to the mausoleum where there is a
generator set up.
-Rose attempts to prototype John's Harlequinsprite with several items: cake mix, then the
Colonel Sassacre's book. The sprite dodges these attempts and flees into the living room.
-Rose drops the hefty book which rattles the house. The urn containing Nanna's ashes topples
over again...right into the sprite.
-John goes to check what happened but cannot find the sprite.
-Rose tells him not to worry about the sprite for now. John's priority should be retrieving his
server copy of the game so that he can connect with Rose and bring her into the game before
her house burns down.
-John heads upstairs. As he does, he hears a faint "Hoo hoo hoo!" laugh as the newly
prototyped Nannasprite sneaks around just outside of his view.
-turntechGodhead [TG] messages John. John tells him that his house got transported to another
dimension and now he thinks he's being haunted by his dead grandma. TG seems to believe
him. John leaves the chat and TG raps to himself for a while.
-Once John is on the balcony, Rose begins lifting the car up to John so that he can get the
package and server disk that are inside it. However, Rose's connection suddenly fails and the
car and its contents fall down into the abyss below.
Act 2 Part 3
Pages 292 to 308

(original comment)

-gardenGnostic [GG] messages John about the explosion she heard earlier (in Act 1 Part 5). It
was a big meteor that landed some distance away from her house. Someone named Bec didn't
want her going near it, though.
-GG asks if John got her package. He explains the whole mess with the car being dropped into
a bottomless pit, as well as the meteor hitting his neighborhood and his house being transported
somewhere.
-GG thinks the whole thing sounds scary but also exciting. She says that maybe this is John's
destiny and if anyone can save the world it's probably him.
-John decides that because Rose is in trouble and he no longer has his copy of the server disk,
he will need to convince turntechGodhead [TG] to install the game in order to save Rose.
-Fortunately, TG is pretty easy to convince. Unfortunately, he lost his copy of the game in an
embarrassing incident he doesn't want to talk about, but his brother still has a copy which TG
decides to go get.

-Back with Rose, her laptop has no battery left so she decides to head down to the generator.
-Rose allocates her strife specibus to needlekind so that she can wield her knitting needles.
-Rose browses through her book, Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious. It features
a variety of tentacled creatures that apparently serve the noble circle of horrorterrors which live
in the Furthest Ring.
-As Rose heads downstairs and prepares to confront her Mom, we suddenly switch characters
to focus on a cool kid wearing sunglasses.
Act 2 Part 4
Pages 309 to 357

(original comment)

-We are properly introduced to turntechGodhead [TG]. He is a 13-year-old boy named Dave
Strider. He likes being cool, remixing music, rapping, collecting preserved dead things,
photography, irony, and drawing intentionally bad comics.
-Quick note: this section with Dave takes place several hours in the past compared to John and
Rose's stories. Right now everything from Dave's perspective is taking place roughly around the
start of Act 1.
-Dave has his own copies of the Sburb client and server discs which he has labeled with his
name so they don't get mixed up with his Bro's copies. Neither of them intend to actually play
the game, though.
-An odd suggestion gives Dave the idea to later bleat like a goat for ironically humorous
purposes.
-In Dave's closet is an open blue box that was sent to him by John on his 13th birthday. It
currently contains a note from John and a certificate of authenticity for the present (the shades
currently being worn by Dave).
-There is also an unopened bottle of apple juice in the closet, which Dave is particularly excited
to find.
-Dave messages John to wish him a happy birthday. We saw this conversation in Act 1 Part 2,
but if you've forgotten about that here's what happened: John and Dave discuss the movie
poster John received for his birthday. Dave asks if John has received the Sburb beta yet. John
has not, but Dave has two copies already. Dave suggests that John go check his mailbox to see
if the beta has arrived yet.
-Dave opens his Hephaestus web browser and browses a few sites, including his own
webcomic titled Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, as well as the current MSPA story featuring the
Midnight Crew (the same one John looked at briefly in Act 1 Part 4). The main character is
named Spades Slick.
-Rose messages Dave. They talk about Sburb briefly; Rose has apparently been trying to
convince Dave to play the game but he doesn't really want to and tells her to play with John
instead. However, Dave does promise to play if Rose finds herself in a position where her life
depends on it.

-Back in the present with John. As he stands on the balcony he hears a bumping sound from
the other side of the door. A thick black sludge seeps out from underneath it.
-Inside, streaks of the black substance make a trail through the hallway leading to John's
bedroom.

-Back to Dave, a few hours in the past. He makes some beats with his sampler for a bit.
-Dave has already allocated his strife specibus to bladekind and he captchalogues his ninja
sword. Sylladex shenanigans cause him to spill apple juice on his copies of the beta.
-Just like how John's Dad has harlequins everywhere and Rose's Mom has wizards everywhere,
Dave's Bro has puppets everywhere.
-Dave hangs the beta envelopes on his photography line to dry off. He turns off the fan so they
don't fly out the window.
-Suddenly a Rambunctious Crow flies in through the window and grabs the beta.
-Dave yells "Stop!" and Sylladex shenanigans cause his sword to fly at the crow, impaling it and
sending the dead crow, sword, and beta envelopes out the window. They land on a roof far
below, out of reach. Good thing he didn't need those discs anyway!
Act 2 Part 5
Pages 358 to 384

(original comment)

-Rose heads downstairs to the living room.

-Rose is convinced that her Mom does not actually like wizards and only collects them to spite
Rose.
-Rose's Mom gave her a princess doll for her birthday. Rose practiced her knitting skills on it by
giving the doll a new head and tentacle arms.
-According to Rose, she and her Mom have been waging a passive-aggressive war through
various actions on the fridge.
-Mom suddenly appears, sipping a martini while pretending to mop the floor. Rose dodges
around her in an attempt to escape out the front door.

-Back in time a few hours to Dave again.

-gardenGnostic [GG] messages Dave. She asks if he's talked to John today. GG is trying to get
in contact with him to wish him happy birthday and to ask about the package she sent him.
-In the conversation, GG makes a few statements implying that she knows things that will
happen in the future. Dave wonders how she knows those things, but she doesn't give a clear
explanation.
-GG and Dave briefly discuss her granddad, who is apparently rather intense and "a total
badass", before GG leaves to go feed her pet, Bec.
Act 2 Part 6
Pages 385 to 406

(original comment)

-Back in the present, John has followed the trail of oil to his room.
-Dave messages John to let him know he's still looking for his Bro's copy of Sburb.
-John tells him that he thinks there might be monsters in the house, which Dave agrees with.
Dave encourages him to try weaponizing his Sylladex.
-Dave says he doesn't see his brother yet but he might be "playing his mind games" with him.
John says that Bro isn't as cool as Dave thinks he is, but Dave is resistant to that idea. Dave
leaves to continue searching.
-As John reads a book to try and figure out his Sylladex, a black creature wearing brightly
colored harlequin clothing begins sneaking up on him.

-Back with Rose, her attempts to sneak out the front door are thwarted as her Mom appears in
front of her and initiates a strife.
-Rose's Mom attempts to give her a pony and alcohol, while Rose tries to stab her Mom with
knitting needles and threatens to electrocute herself. Rose's Mom soon gets bored and
continues her housework.
-Rose names the pony Maplehoof.

-Back with John, the black creature runs towards him to initiate a strife.
-The creature, a shale imp, is holding the bunny John got for his birthday hostage. John
attempts to attack the imp with a sledgehammer, but the weapon is too heavy for him and he
falls backwards, breaking the head of the hammer off in the process.

-Back with Rose, she heads outside through the back door.
-Seeing that the transformer has been hit by lightning and probably won't be fixed anytime soon,
she continues heading for the mausoleum where the generator is located.

-Back with John, he attacks the imp with the handle of the sledgehammer, doing a decent
amount of damage, but the imp retaliates and knocks John back.
-John manages to successfully weaponize his Sylladex by picking up items so that other items
get flung at the imp. He manages to defeat the imp and it explodes into build grist and shale,
which John picks up.
Act 2 Part 7
Pages 407 to 427

(original comment)

-John notices that when he broke his sledgehammer during the fight with the shale imp, his
strife specibus changed from hammerkind to handlekind. He changes it back by fixing the
hammers.
-Dave is messaging John, but he doesn't answer just yet because he notices something is
different in his room.

-Back with Rose, she has made it to the mausoleum and fired up the generator.
-In order to make room for her laptop she shoves the coffin containing her dead cat Jaspers out
of the way, causing it to pop open.
-Rose finally manages to reconnect to the Internet. Dave is messaging Rose as well.

-Back with John, he notices that the door is back in place, even though Rose had ripped it off
the hinges earlier (Act 1 Part 6).
-As John opens the door a bucket of water falls on his head. Nannasprite makes her
appearance, laughing with glee.

-Back with Rose, Dave tells her that he's working on getting the game so that he can get Rose
to safety before her house burns down.
-Dave admits that all of Bro's puppets are starting to make him uncomfortable, particularly the
one called Lil Cal, which looks at Dave with dead eyes. Sometimes Dave dreams about Lil Cal
talking to him and he wakes up in a cold sweat.
-Dave asks if Rose has heard from John; he hasn't been answering. Rose says John hasn't
been answering her either, because he just got pranked by his ghostly dead clown grandma.

-Back with John, Nannasprite explains that she is here to guide John on his journey through The
Medium.
-John asks where his dad is. Nannasprite says he was kidnapped by the imps.
-Nannasprite explains that The Medium is where they are now, a realm located somewhere in
The Incipisphere. She also clarifies that they are not within a video game or computer: they are
in an actual, physical realm. The game only served as a gateway to bring them here.
-Nannasprite begins to explain the lore and goals of Sburb. (This is an important infodump, so
I'll do my best here.)
-Located at the center of the Incipisphere, past the seven gates, is a world called Skaia.
-Two armies of light and darkness have been forever fighting over Skaia: the light seeking to
protect it and the dark seeking to destroy it.
-The two armies have been in stalemate forever, until John prototyped the kernelsprite and
entered The Medium. When the kernelsprite divided (Act 2 Part 1), one part of it went to the
kingdom of darkness and one part to the kingdom of light. This caused the battlefield of Skaia to
evolve and the creatures of the realms to take on features of the prototyped kernelsprite (in this
case: brightly colored harlequin clothes, one slashed out eye, and one missing arm).
-The two kingdoms each have four spires and John's kernelsprite filled one of those spires in
each kingdom.
-Now that the battlefield has evolved, the war truly begins. Nannasprite says that the forces of
light are always destined to lose this war. John asks if that's the case, then what's the point?
Nannasprite says he'll have to find out himself, as the journey he will take is the Ultimate Riddle.
-Nannasprite says John's current objective is to pass through the first gate located directly
above his house. He can reach it by having Rose build his house up higher.
-John summarizes all of this by saying the good vs. evil fight is irrelevant, but if he builds up his
house to reach the gates he can save his dad, solve the riddle, and save the world from
destruction!
-Nannasprite says no to that last part: the Earth is done for and there is nothing that can be
done to save it. She says John's true purpose is much more important than that, but refuses to
elaborate any further.
Act 2 Part 8
Pages 428 to 440

(original comment)

-Nannasprite goes to bake some cookies for John. He is not very excited at the idea of eating
even more baked goods today.
-The Wayward Vagabond insists that John go get the cookies. The narration begins criticizing
WV's increasingly rude commands.

-Years in the future, WV's finger slips as he types to John. He accidentally hit the caps lock
button, finally turning off the caps he's been typing in this whole time. It also unlocks a capsule
in the room he is in.
-Inside the capsule are a lot of canned foods and a book on human etiquette.

-Rose continues updating her walkthrough. She realizes now that prototyping the kernelsprite at
least once before entering The Medium is very important, as it will affect the creatures
encountered. Prototyping with something humanoid or sentient will also give you a guide that
can explain things to you.
-Rose theorizes that as more players connect and prototype their kernels the game will evolve
even further.
-Rose wonders if all players will be sent to the same realm upon connecting or if everyone has
their own "instance" of the game. She notes that currently there do not seem to be any other
players around and speculates that each "session" is based upon the client/server pairs.
-With that theory it seems that a two-player session would be most logical, but because of the
various shenanigans going on, this particular player group will need a daisy chain of
server/client connections to complete the chain.
-This chain could theoretically end at three players (Dave bringing Rose into the game, then
John bringing Dave into the game), but Rose notes that there are four receptacles for the
divided kernels (as seen in Act 2 Part 7), implying that there are supposed to be four players in
this session. Rose wonders how the game "knows" this.
Act 2 Part 9
Pages 441 to 483

(original comment)

-Back in time a few months to December 4th (reminder: the present date is currently April 13,
2009).
-gardenGnostic [GG] messages Rose to wish her a happy birthday. They talk about John's
present to her, which was a set of knitting supplies. Rose decides she might as well try to learn
how to use it.
-Rose mentions that John's birthday is in a few months. GG says she finally finished a present
for him that she's been working on for years. Rose decides she'll make him something
sentimental with her new knitting skills.
-GG doesn't have a present for Rose, but she does have a tip. She asks what Rose would do if
someone told her she could play a game that could bring her dead cat back to life. Rose asks
what game that is but GG is vague. She says Rose will hear about it later and she can talk to
John and Dave about it.

-Forward in time, but stopping just short of the present so we can check up on Dave, whose
storyline is still a bit behind John's and Rose's. (The time shenanigans only get worse from here
on. Buckle up.)
-Dave grabs his sword in preparation for leaving his room to find his Bro's copy of the game.
-We get a zoomed out view of the city Dave lives in. Small meteors rain down all around him,
with smoke rising from buildings in the distance.
-Dave enters the living room of his apartment, where Bro spends most of his time. Bro is
nowhere in sight. Bro's vast collection of puppets is scattered all over though.
-Dave is starting to get uncomfortable about the rather sexual nature of some of the puppets.
-Bro's favorite puppet, Lil Cal, suddenly appears behind Dave. Dave notices him and gives him
a fistbump.
-Dave checks out Bro's computer (password is "lilcal"). One of the websites Bro runs is about
the rather sexual puppets called "smuppets". It's set up to look a lot like a porn website,
including a link to live video feeds. Dave admits to himself that this is a bit unsettling.
-Lil Cal has moved across the room to sit next to Dave again. Dave is surprised and nervous
now.
-Dave messages John to try and calm his nerves. John does not answer (he was distracted
trying to figure out why his door was back on the hinges, as seen in Act 2 Part 7).
-Dave notices Rose is back online and messages her as well. We saw this conversation in Act 2
Part 7, but here's what happened if you forgot: Dave tells Rose that he's working on getting the
game so that he can get her to safety before her house burns down. Dave admits that all of
Bro's puppets are starting to make him uncomfortable, particularly Lil Cal, who looks at Dave
with dead eyes. Sometimes Dave dreams about Lil Cal talking to him and he wakes up in a cold
sweat. Dave asks if Rose has heard from John; he hasn't been answering. Rose says John
hasn't been answering her either, because he just got pranked by his ghostly dead clown
grandma.

-Back in the present with John. Rose deploys another large object in John's house, the punch
designix.
-The house and yard are full of imps now. Rose crushes one of them by dropping a piano on it.
John will have to go get the grist himself though; Rose cannot interact with it.
-John is reluctant to head downstairs and risk encountering Nannasprite and her ghostly
cookies. Rose manages to bring some of the grist up to him by carrying it on the pogo ride.
Act 2 Part 10
Pages 484 to 519

(original comment)

-Rose begins building John's house upward, as Nannasprite directed earlier.

-John's house is absolutely full of imps now. Luckily John has gotten better at fighting them.
Nannasprite and Rose also help out, with eyelasers and dropping heavy items respectively.
-The Wayward Vagabond's suggestions to John have become much more polite.
-Rose drops a safe on another imp, causing the safe to break open and revealing two books
inside, one of which is an old copy of Colonel Sassacre's.
-WV asks John for a can opener.

-Years in the future, WV is reading the book on human etiquette he found earlier. He's also
eating the pages once he's done with them.

-Back in the present, Rose continues updating her walkthrough. She's added some screenshots
of what she's seen since John entered The Medium, with her own commentary on the events.
-Rose notes that she is unable to see within John's Dad's room, perhaps because John himself
has never seen inside it.

-John continues "talking" with WV as they exchange useless pleasantries. Dave and Rose both
start messaging John, but he is too distracted to answer.
-WV eventually leaves and John is able to focus again.
Act 2 Part 11
Pages 520 to 565

(original comment)

-Rose gets a message from Dave. He is getting very frustrated by all the puppets.
-John begins experimenting with the Punch Designix. Using the codes on the back of the
captchalogue cards, the machine can punch a pattern of holes into the card. However, doing so
renders the cards useless and destroys any item they contain.
-Meanwhile, something very large is approaching John's house.
-Rose builds a staircase to give John a shortcut upstairs. John wonders why she didn't just build
up through his Dad's room. Rose reminds John that he has never seen inside that room. She
doesn't have a good feeling about it.
-John checks out the items that spilled out of the safe earlier. He takes the old copy of Colonel
Sassacre's. He also notices several old newspaper clippings mentioning meteors hitting a
residential neighborhood. Parts of the page are obscured, but the partial date "Monday, April 13,
199" is legible. Also visible is the phrase "Crocker Facility Leveled".
-John heads upstairs as a creature much larger than the imps climbs up to the house.

-Back to Dave a short while in the past. He notices that one of his Bro's swords is missing and
knows that means trouble. A blurred figure shoots past at incredible speed and takes the other
sword. It appears again and deposits Lil Cal on the turntables.
-Dave stops to look at one of his Bro's comics. It depicts Muppet Babies characters in the
setting of the Saw movies with Kermit playing the role of Jigsaw.
Act 2 Part 12
Pages 566 to 610

(original comment)

-Dave rips up his Bro's disturbing comic, admitting to himself that it makes him uncomfortable.
-The apartment's kitchen is full of weapons and explosives.
-Bro has a webcam set up to secretly record whatever happens in the kitchen. Dave isn't sure
how he feels about this.
-Dave spends a while filling his Sylladex with various weapons and items in anticipation of a
battle with his Bro.
-During all of this, Lil Cal is appearing and disappearing throughout the kitchen, badly startling
Dave.
-All of the appliances in the kitchen are jammed full of puppets and dangerous objects.
-There is no actual food in the kitchen. Dave always has to hide food and drinks in his closet.
-Bro left a message for Dave on the hatch to the crawlspace above the apartment: "HELLO
DAVE" inside a puzzle piece drawn in red with splatter marks, referencing the Saw movies
again.
-Dave opens up the hatch only to have an avalanche of smuppets cascade down upon him.
Act 2 Part 13
Pages 611 to 663

(original comment)

-Dave messages Rose to vent about all the puppets. We saw this conversation in Act 2 Part 11.
-Bro left a note challenging Dave to a rooftop battle. Dave is finally fed up with all the puppets
and ready to fight.

-Back in the present, John continues with his alchemy experiments. He uses all the newly
punched cards to carve a variety of totems. Rose carries them out to the alchemiter to see what
they can make.
-Rose makes a bunch of captchalogue cards so that John will hopefully struggle less with his
Sylladex. She also makes a hammer and a pogo ride. (So basically: a card punched with the
code for an item will be able to create another one of those items.)
-The random-keysmash-punchcard totem produces a non-functional rocketpack combined with
a violin, cinderblock, and flower pot. Rose just uses it to crush an imp.
-John reads his Wise Guy book and gets an idea for something he can do with the punchcards.
He overlaps two of the cards (hammer and pogo ride), covering some of the holes in each, and
then creates a new totem with the new pattern.
-The new totem creates the pogohammer: a spring-powered hammer that John eagerly
equips.(So basically: combining the codes of different items allows you to create a new item that
is a mixture of its components.)
-John easily defeats an imp with his new pogohammer, launching himself up to the roof in the
process. Rose catches him with his bed.
-The giant creatures from before are still climbing up. One has entered John's house.
-John requests that Rose just carry him around on the bed, however she cannot move any
object that John is touching. The game would probably view that as cheating.
-John decides to take a nap.

-Rose gets the idea to send John the code for the Sburb server CD so that he can make a copy
of it, but the captcha code is far too distorted to be read by the human eye.
-Rose's generator finally runs out of fuel and her laptop battery dies. The forest fire is closing in
on her house.

-John dreams of a bright blue sky. The clouds form various images: his Dad, a birthday cake,
fruit Gushers, the harlequin doll, his green slime ghost logo, and Harry Anderson. The final
cloud forms a humanoid figure with long hair, but John wakes up before he can get a better view
of them.
-gardenGnostic [GG] messages John right as he wakes up. He updates her on what's been
going on so far. GG encourages him to stay positive and listen to his grandmother's advice.
John never mentioned Nanna to her, so he figures Rose or Dave must have told her.
-John says Rose and Dave always tried to convince him that GG has spooky powers. He admits
that sometimes it feels like GG knows things she shouldn't. GG says there's a lot she wants to
explain to him, but she's waiting.
-GG suddenly remembers she was telling John about the meteor that fell near her house. It's
hard for her to explain, but she knows what it is and she knows everything will be okay.
-GG really wants to tell John what she means but he needs to wake up first. John is confused.
GG elaborates that she doesn't mean "wake up" literally...well okay, she means it kind of literally.
John is even more confused now.
-GG says it's time for John to go; he has company. The giant enemies are climbing onto the
rooftops. Rose is no longer connected and cannot help John.
-John climbs to the highest platform of his house. He gets ready for a major battle with the
Crude Ogres.
Act 2 Part 14
Pages 664 to 722

(original comment)

-Dave grabs Lil Cal and heads upstairs to the roof of the apartment building. Meteors rain down
upon the city. Buildings are collapsing all around. Dave prepares to fight his Bro.

PSYCHE

-We are now an unnamed girl.

x2 DOUBLE PSYCHEOUT COMBO!!

-We are now the Wayward Vagabond. WV is very hungry. He eats a rotten pumpkin.
-WV does not have a Sylladex or any other sort of inventory system. He just picks things up and
carries them normally.
-WV has some sort of barcode pattern on his wrist. It looks like a chessboard. Looking at it
brings back unpleasant memories.
-WV eats the little green plant in a pot.
-WV takes all the cans of food out of the capsule. He is unable to open them though.
-In response to a command telling him to "Be the imp", WV says that he is definitely not an imp.
He doesn't even know what an imp is.
-WV builds a town of cans, wraps some cables around himself like a sash, and becomes the
Mayor of Can Town.
-WV loves mayors and democracy. WV intensely hates kings for reasons that are not explained,
but it sounds like he had a negative experience with kings in the past.
-On the other side of the room are a container of motor oil, a firefly encased in amber, a box of
Crayola chalk, and a glowing chunk of uranium.
-WV eats the uranium and the two pieces of green chalk. (He likes eating plants and other
green things, if it wasn't obvious.)
-WV wants to free the firefly but he doesn't know how.
-WV uses the remaining chalk to begin drawing roads and other scenery for Can Town. He sets
up a chessboard-looking grid on one side.
-WV draws a sky on the walls as well as several planets: a luminous golden planet with a single
moon; an oily planet surrounded by grey clouds; a bright pastel planet that looks to be mostly
water; a gear-shaped planet with what looks like fire or lava; and another mostly blue planet with
an erupting volcano jutting out. Far away from the other planets, beyond a veil of darkness, lies
an ominous purple planet with a single moon.
-On one of the monitors, WV can see John testing out his pogohammer.
-In an attempt to switch the view to another monitor, WV presses the Tab key on the keyboard.
The other capsule pops open, spilling out numerous cans of Tab soda. WV drinks several cans
before adding them all to Can Town.
-WV hits the escape key on the keyboard. This brings up a list of previous commands.
-WV switches to monitor 2. This shows the giant wizard statue from Rose's home, although it is
now broken somehow.
-WV switches to monitor 3. This shows Dave at an unspecified point in the future. His sword is
broken in half, the logo on his shirt has changed from a normal record to one that has been
scratched, Lil Cal has been torn to shreds, and Dave's kernelsprite has been prototyped with the
crow he impaled with a sword earlier.
-WV is very confused by all this and decides not to view monitor 4. Instead he enters the Home
command. This displays a countdown of 4 hours and 13 minutes. The command terminal is now
locked.
-With nothing else to do, WV plays chess for the next four hours. The countdown is now at 4
minutes.
Act 2 Part 15
Pages 723 to 759

(original comment)

-The Peregrine Mendicant [PM] is introduced pushing a cart of old mailboxes. She appears
similar to the Wayward Vagabond, except taller and white instead of black.
-Back to WV. He attempts to go outside but a set of bars block him from the exit.
-WV pushes a button on an interface, causing the floor to spin around and giving him access to
another room.
-This new room has another large control panel and monitor setup. One screen shows the Earth
and another shows some sort of diagram like a star system with orbiting planets. The screen
just below those two lists latitude, longitude, elevation, and date/time. The date is set to April
13th, 2009 (John & friends' current date).
-WV grabs a nearby meter stick and realizes that he left some of his stuff in the other room.
-There's another big gizmo in the room that WV doesn't understand at all. He pokes it with the
meter stick because why not.
-WV presses the big button in the middle, causing a pumpkin to "appearify" on the big gizmo.
WV theorizes that the gizmo can appearify any object from the coordinates and time provided.
-WV pushes the button labeled with the layout of this facility. The coordinates reset to the
current location and time.
-Using his uncanny skill of measurement, WV appearifies his trusty knife from the other room,
along with all of the cans and the firefly trapped in amber.
-The prompt suggests that WV try to "de-appearify" something, but alas, it can only appearify.
The narrator gets very upset about this.
-WV uses his knife to eat the insides of the pumpkin, hollowing it out.
-WV appearifies the firefly out of the amber, safely freeing it. He assumes she is a girl and
names her Serenity.
-WV adjusts the time back a few hours and attempts to appearify the rotten pumpkin that he ate
earlier, but because doing so would cause a time paradox, instead the machine just creates a
bunch of "paradox slime" in the shape of a pumpkin.
-Serenity says "Let's go!!!" in Morse code, knowing the timer is about to expire.
-WV appearifies the bars that were blocking the exit. He rushes around gathering all his stuff up
in the hollow pumpkin and climbs up the ladder.

-[S] WV: Ascend

-WV pokes his head out of the hole. The hand of Rose's giant wizard statue sits in the sand not
far away.
-The top part of the facility suddenly blasts off like a rocket and begins heading westward
towards a predetermined location.
-A flashback shows us what happened after John's house and neighborhood were hit by the
meteor. After many years, the greenery died off and the crater filled in with sand. A strange
white tree sprouted from the center of the crater, "growing" a metallic apple-shaped structure.
(Remember how John's pre-punched card created a tree and he had to eat the apple it grew?)
-WV's facility flies over PM, who has just reached the "apple", and continues out towards the
ocean.
-Out in the Pacific Ocean, many (MANY) years in the past a meteor stuck near a volcano. From
the crater "grew" a massive temple topped with a frog and surrounded by four spires. Fast
forward to more "recent" times (as in, pterosaur times), the volcano is now an island and the
temple is in ruins and partially submerged.

-Back to the actual present, Rose is trying in vain to kickstart her generator while flaming trees
crash down all around her.
-Rose's Mom pushes a button that opens a secret passage in the mausoleum.
-On a dark purple planet, John's Dad is in handcuffs and being prodded forward by a pair of
imps. However, these are John's trick handcuffs and Dad manages to slip out of them and turn
the tables with his trusty cake and shaving cream.
-Dave is confronting his Bro on the roof of their apartment building as hundreds of meteors rain
down in the background. Both of them draw their swords.

-Back in the future, WV's facility touches down next to the ruined Frog Temple in the desert that
used to be the Pacific Ocean.

-In the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's that John found in the safe, there is a message from his
Nanna.
-Nanna alludes to many things about the game that we have not really seen yet, including the
royalty, agents, exiles, consorts, underlings, and denizens.
-Nanna says it is a world where four will gather: the Heir of Breath, Seer of Light, Knight of Time,
and Witch of Space, and together they will ascend.
-Nanna says that she regrets that she died before she and John could get to know one another,
but she knows in her heart that they will meet again.

END OF ACT 2
Act 3

Act 3 Part 1
Pages 760 to 818

(original comment)

-We are formally introduced to gardenGnostic [GG], now known as Jade Harley. She apparently
has knowledge of future events, as she knew we were going to give her a silly name and wrote
a note in advance to correct us.
-Also, the pumpkin that disappeared is the same one that got appearified by WV in the last
video.
-Jade falls asleep a lot. She keeps a variety of colorful strings on her fingers to remind her of
stuff. She also really likes gardening.
-Objects in Jade's house often appear and disappear for reasons Jade does not understand,
especially pumpkins.
-Jade is a bit sillier than the other three kids and is more willing to go along with the weird
suggestions given to her.
-It's established that we are a few hours in the past again, as Jade is still waiting to wish John a
happy birthday.
-Jade uses a device called a transportalizer to teleport upstairs.
-Jade likes nostalgic cartoons, anthropomorphic animals, science, and guns.
-Jade learned a lot of what she knows from her grandfather.
-Jade's current goal is to feed her pet, Becquerel (Bec for short).
-Jade uses the riflekind strife specibus. She equips her hunting rifle.
-Looking out the window, Jade sees the dormant volcano nearby.
-Jade has a variety of fortune-telling paraphernalia in her room, including a magic cue ball,
which is like a magic 8 ball except it is apparently always correct...but you can't see the
prediction so it seems pretty useless.
-Jade uses some of her science equipment to prepare Bec's food: a lightly irradiated steak.
Act 3 Part 2
Pages 819 to 843

(original comment)

-Jade grabs the irradiated steak before following the tradition of wasting time playing an
instrument; hers is a bass guitar.
-While Jade plays we get a view of her house, which is a tall white tower on a volcanic island
with a frog temple nearby. An airplane passing by drops off a blue box that slowly parachutes
towards the island.
-Jade opens up her computer. In addition to her three friends, there is also a list of usernames
under "Trollslum" that we have not seen before. The list includes: carcinoGeneticist,
arachnidsGrip, twinArmageddons, terminallyCapricious, and caligulasAquarium.
-Jade sends John a happy birthday message which we first saw in Act 1 Part 4. At this point in
time John is still too busy running all over his house trying to get his mail to reply.
-Dave messaged Jade earlier, but she was apparently asleep so he just rambled to himself for a
while before sending her a remix of the music we heard at the end of Act 2.
-Jade goes to the MSPA website. An intermission consisting of a more crudely drawn version of
Act 1 has just ended, and Act 1031 of the Midnight Crew comic is starting. The four members of
the Midnight Crew are shown: Diamonds Droog, Clubs Deuce, Hearts Boxcars, and Spades
Slick. They're involved in a conflict with a group of green people called The Felt. (Also featuring
cameos from Problem Sleuth, Ace Dick, and Pickle Inspector).
-Since John still hasn't replied, Jade decides to pester Dave for a while. We saw this
conversation back in Act 2 Part 5. Here's what I wrote then, with minor edits for clarity: "Jade
asks if Dave has talked to John today. She's trying to get in contact with him to wish him happy
birthday and to ask about the package she sent him. During the conversation, Jade makes a
few statements implying that she knows things that will happen in the future. Dave wonders how
she knows those things, but she doesn't give a clear explanation. The two of them briefly
discuss Jade's granddad, who is apparently rather intense and "a total badass", before Jade
leaves to go feed her pet, Bec."

-A few hours in the future with Dave, he is finally confronting his Bro on the roof.
-Round 1 of their strife consists of Bro using his flashstepping ability to beat up Dave using Lil
Cal as a proxy. Dave doesn't stand a chance.

-Back in time with Jade, she gets a message from Rose. Rose is seeking Jade's "unique" brand
of information, but Jade says that Rose is about to lose her Internet connection and they won't
be able to talk again for a long time: not until Rose "enters".
-Apparently Jade has been saying that today is "the big day": the day that they would all receive
a game in the mail that would help Rose answer some of the questions she's had.
-Considering the difficulty that Rose has had connecting with her friends, she isn't sure today is
really the day, but Jade insists that yes, it is today! Jade encourages her to keep searching for a
stable signal and power source, and to focus on playing with John: "it all starts with you two!"
-Jade says that Rose will have all her questions answered, although they might not be the ones
she was planning to ask.

-A few hours in the future with Rose, a secret passage heading down from Jaspers' mausoleum
has opened (thanks to Mom, as we saw in Act 2 Part 15) and the fire has reached the windows.
-Rose grabs all her stuff, plus her dead cat, and climbs down the ladder. It leads to a long
underground tunnel with a bright green glow at the end.

-Back in time with Jade, she finally gives up on talking to John for now. Before heading
downstairs to get on with her tasks, Jade notices the reminders on her right pinky finger: a blue
string surrounded by two black strings...

-A few hours in the future with John, he is getting his ass kicked by a pair of huge black ogres.
Nannasprite jumps in to catch him after he's flung off the tower and she also heals him up with
her...cookie eye lasers? Idk man, I just read Homestuck, I don't write it. John eagerly jumps
back into battle, only for the same beatdown to repeat over and over and over...
Act 3 Part 3
Pages 844 to 872

(original comment)

-Many years in the future, we see the giant metal apple-shaped thing that we first saw in Act 2
Part 15. A metal worm comes out of it and briefly looks at the Peregrine Mendicant before
chomping on her mailboxes. She is very upset about this and reaches for the ornate-looking
black sword at her side.

-OH BOY TIME FOR MORE GAMEFAQS. At least John wrote this part instead of Rose, so it's
more straightforward. Without getting too technical, John has figured out the correlation
between the code on the back of each captchalogue card and the number and placement of the
holes punched into it. It involves converting stuff to binary. Honestly all you really need to know
is that you can combine codes and punchcards in two different ways: either by double-punching
one card (creating more holes) or by overlapping two different cards (creating less holes). John
also thinks you might be able to "extract" components of a combined item (remember that
messed up rocketpack he made in Act 2 Part 13?)

-Back with Rose, she's reached the end of the tunnel under the mausoleum and emerged into a
laboratory. There's a massive grid of green boxes in the room.

-A few hours in the past with Jade, she continues heading downstairs via the transportalizer, but
eventually has to use the stairs because for whatever reason she can't transportalize any further
down.
-We get to see some of her grandpa's varied interests: hunting trophies, suits of armor,
mummies, and pictures of blue ladies.
-At the ground level is a stuffed version of a very large creature that looks like a green snake
with a white head. It's blocking the transportalizer on this floor.
-Suddenly Jade gets a message from carcinoGeneticist [CG]...except instead of "pestering" her,
the chat client says CG is "trolling" her.
-CG types in all-caps gray and is very insulting towards Jade. He insists that today is the day
Jade ruins everything. Jade is surprised he is still able to message her even after she blocked
him and logged out. CG just continues to insult her.

-Back with Rose, she finds a little platform at the center of the room that looks a lot like Jade's
transportalizers.
-Sylladex shenanigans cause Rose to drop Jaspers' corpse onto the platform, where he
instantly disappears.
-Rose finds one of the green boxes that has been unlocked from the grid (SN_0413), and
realizes it was the source of the unsecured wifi signal she was using earlier. She grabs it and
plugs her laptop in.
-On the wall is another ominous countdown with about three minutes left.

-Many years in the future, PM has entered the metal apple after decapitating the metal worm.
Inside is another terminal like the one WV was using, as well as yet another countdown with
only seconds left.
-More metal worms appear as the countdown reaches zero and the apple takes off like a
helicopter.

-Back with Dave, he is still getting curbstomped by Bro via Lil Cal. Dave attempts to abscond,
but Bro physically slices the abscond button in half before making his official appearance and
fighting Dave in person.
-Round 2! Dave actually puts up a pretty good fight, but Bro is just too fast and delivers some
strong blows to Dave before flinging him down the apartment staircase, where he continues to
fall.
Act 3 Part 4
Pages 873 to 941

(original comment)

-Rose continues exploring the laboratory. She finds a terminal displaying what appears to be
hundreds of Sburb sessions and even more meteor impacts, with at least one meteor per
session. There is also an image on the upper right of what appears to be eight planets orbiting a
central planet.
-Rose zooms in on her present location and sees a large imminent meteor impact headed
towards the lab, as well as a larger but not quite as imminent impact centered over her house.
-Rose zooms way out and sees that a huge meteor is headed towards Texas in a few hours.
Meanwhile, an apocalyptic-size meteor is headed for a location in the Pacific Ocean.
-Rose finally connects to John again. She sees his house is full of imps and the whole place is
shaking. Navigating upwards, she finds John still locked in combat with the two ogres.
-With the help of Nannasprite and Rose dropping large appliances, John finally manages to
defeat the ogres. He gets a whole bunch of grist as a reward and high-fives Nannasprite in
victory.
-Rose tells John about the meteor headed for her. She's also determined that activating the
cruxtruder timer does not actually summon the meteor, it just tells you how much time is left.
-John levels up to Boy-Skylark.
-Nannasprite hands him the old copy of Colonel Sassacre's and encourages him to read at least
the first few pages (the ones with Nanna's message to John that we saw at the end of Act 2).
-John asks if Nannasprite could just use her powers to carry him up to the gate instead of
making him build his way up. She says she could, but she won't because the process of building
his house up is important.
-Continuing with her cryptic information, she says that after passing through the gate John will
find a place "where the constellations dance beneath the clouds", and that his true work will then
begin.

-In the dark kingdom, Dad has broken free of the trick handcuffs and is now assaulting the imps
with cake and shaving cream. It's surprisingly effective. He also just punches them sometimes.
-A character who looks a lot like Spades Slick from the Midnight Crew is watching John and
John's Dad on a pair of screens. He is very displeased.

-Back in the future with the Peregrine Mendicant. She has the same sort of barcode chess
pattern on her wrist that WV has. PM is very passionate about mail and the postal system.
-PM activates one of the monitors in the room. It shows Jade holding a rifle in a snowy area with
a lot of green staticky interference. PM feels like she recognizes Jade and tries to greet her and
ask if they know each other, but Jade shakes her head "no" just before the terminal explodes
and blasts a hole in the side of the apple.
-Back with Rose, there's less than two minutes remaining on the lab's countdown. Rose decides
to spend this time exploring rather than escaping. She finds a lot of pink items: teapots, a bed, a
scarf. It reminds her of a little girl's room.
-She also finds a four-eyed mutant kitten.

-Back with John. After a moment of hesitation, he jumps down the hole into his Dad's room.

-Back with Jade. She enters the grand foyer only to run into one of her grandpa's many globes.
She equips her rifle and prepares to dodge grandpa.
-The fireplace suddenly ignites, revealing grandpa's silhouette standing in front of it. Jade
attempts to leap across the room, only to fall asleep halfway through.
-We attempt to go check on Dave again, but we get psyched out and continue with Jade.
-Jade has a mock battle with her grandpa who is long dead, stuffed, and mounted in front of the
fireplace. Yeah.

-Back in the future with PM, she has survived the explosion. Several of her mailboxes fell out of
the hole, but one of the metal worms catches one of them and hands it back to her. They are
friends now. <3

-Back with Rose, she has adopted the mutant kitten.

-She finds another odd contraption that turns out to be an appearifier. It is locked on to Rose's
cat Jaspers approximately nine years in the past. She realizes this is the day when Jaspers told
her his "secret".
-Rose attempts to appearify Jaspers, but because this would cause a paradox she only gets a
bunch of goo instead. The goo is sucked up by another machine which runs some kind of DNA
code on it, creating another mutant kitten clone of Jaspers.
-Rose looks back at the appearifier and sees Jaspers tell her his secret, before he disappears
into thin air. He was appearified by someone, but not by Rose. She attempts to use the
appearifier to see where he went, but all she sees is static. A few weeks after he disappeared,
Rose and Mom found his body on the riverbank and held a funeral for him.
-Present-Rose watches this on the screen and sees that after she dropped Jaspers' corpse on
the platform earlier, it was transportalized to another room somewhere. She quickly appearifies
Jaspers' corpse, grabs it, and transportalizes out of the lab with about 10 seconds to spare.
Act 3 Part 5
Pages 942 to 989

(original comment)

-Jade has finally made it outside and is keeping an eye out for her pet, Becquerel, as she
searches for the package she's been waiting for. It's a birthday package from John, which is
months late but also right on time.

-A few hours in the future, John has entered his Dad's room for the first time ever. He is shocked
to discover that his father is a normal businessman rather than a clownish street performer.

-Meanwhile in the dark kingdom, Dad has once again escaped from the imps and is menacing
them with an entire safe.
-The Spades Slick-looking fellow is properly introduced as Jack Noir. He is the Archagent of the
kingdom. His three fenestrated walls allow him to observe the goings-on of the kingdom,
although his fourth wall was stolen some time ago.
-Jack refuses to wear the colorful hat that his ruler had apparently ordered him to. Jack sends a
guy who looks like Hearts Boxcars to handle the Dad situation, when suddenly the Black Queen
appears on the screen and once more orders Jack to put the hat on. He does so begrudgingly.
-In the time this took, Dad has managed to quickly subdue maybe-Hearts Boxcars. Jack is
furious and decides to take care of this himself.

-John investigates his Dad's room and discovers some birthday presents that Dad didn't have
the chance to give him.
-One present is some stuff that makes John's captchalogue system less irritating, although that
certainly won't stop him from causing chaos with it. (Also his system can now be referred to as
John's Cuestacks, if you like puns).
-The next present is a box of Fruit Gushers. John is very excited about this.
-The final present is a John-sized business suit. It looks rather nice on him.
-John immediately starts messing around with his captchalogue system by filling it up with junk.
-John suddenly notices that Fruit Gushers are produced by Betty Crocker. He starts to have a
mental breakdown over this before deciding that it's a stupid thing to be upset over.

-Back a few hours in the past with Jade. Just as she reaches the package from John, her dog
Bec appears and blocks her. It is immediately apparent that Bec is not a normal dog. He has
some kind of space-warping/teleportation powers.
-Jade and Bec have a Strife, in which Bec teleports them all over the world (you can see various
locations that we have seen with John, Rose, and Dave before).
-Jade eventually manages to convince Bec to go fetch the bullet she shoots, giving her enough
time to snatch the package. Bec brings the bullet back and Jade praises him and gives him the
irradiated steak. Good dog, best friend.
-Jade then falls asleep again and Bec teleports her back to her room and puts her in bed.

-Back with Rose. She and the mutant kitten are back in her house, specifically her Mom's room.
It's full of alcohol.
-Rose looks out the window and sees the meteor hit the lab next door, destroying it completely.
It also does a lot of damage to Rose's home and sets it on fire.

-Back with John. He decides to start alchemizing some more stuff.

Act 3 Part 6
Pages 990 to 1046

(original comment)

-While Jade sleeps, a robot version of her activates. It's her dreambot, which somehow mirrors
the actions of Jade in her dreams.
-In Jade's dream, she is wearing a golden outfit and in a pink version of her bedroom. She can
also fly, because dreams.
-She can't open the package from John yet because it apparently has an "important journey" to
make still. She already knows what is inside, though.

-Several months ago (on December 1st), John wishes Jade a happy birthday and tells her that
he sent her present just in time.
-Also, John has a different chumhandle at this point: ghostyTrickster [GT].
-Jade reminds John that it takes her a while to get packages, but she assures John that it will
get to her "exactly when it needs to".
-Jade is interrupted by "the trolls". John expresses his frustration with them as well.
-Jade thinks it's a group of people; she's counted twelve so far. They've been messaging her for
years.
-John thinks he might change his chumhandle to try and throw them off his trail, which is why he
now goes by ectoBiologist.

-Back in the present, John has carved a whole bunch of totems. He's upset because it looks like
the imps have defaced the posters in his room.

-Back with Rose. She's finally made it back to her room with a power supply and Internet
connection. She has named the mutant kitten Vodka Mutini, or Mutie for short.
-Rose messages John and lets him know that her house is now on fire. She asks if he knows
where Dave is; John says his Bro is probably kicking his ass.
-When John mentions his posters, Rose tells him that the posters have always looked like that,
ever since she first saw his room. She thought he did it on purpose to mock his father.
-John kind of freaks out about this.

-Many years in the future, WV can't climb down from the station because he doesn't have
enough cable (and refuses to dismantle his mayor's sash). Looking around, he sees some cable
attached to a harpoon dangling from a nearby tower. How oddly convenient.
-He goes back inside to appearify it, but accidentally hits the time setting and appearifies a blue
box instead. It has a letter from Jade addressed to WV. He reads it and decides to follow the
instructions.
-First he appearifies the cable and uses it to climb down.
-But as this is happening, a person wearing yellow caution tape is watching closely. He also
sees the metal apple containing PM flying towards this area. The Aimless Renegade readies his
rifle.

-Back with Rose and John. Rose decides to build up John's house some more while waiting for
Dave to connect with her. John asks her to keep an eye out for imps while he does some
alchemizing. He's still mad about the posters.
-Rose insists that the posters were messed up before the imps arrived and provides photo
proof. Rose never brought it up because she thought John did it himself.
-John wonders, if he drew on the posters himself, why couldn't he see it before but now he
suddenly can? Rose suggests that maybe the recent revelations he had about his father have
changed his perceptions in more ways than one. She also suggests that the drawings are his
subconscious trying to express something that he has blocked out.
-Rose then suggests that perhaps the reason John's Dad had statues and paintings of clowns
everywhere is because he saw John drawing clowns all over the walls, and so Dad was trying to
bond with his son over his apparent interests.

-Back with Jade. She decides to play her bass guitar in her dreams. Her dreambot does the
same in the waking world. The view of the dream room zooms out and we see that Dream Jade
is in a golden tower similar to the white tower that Real Jade lives in. This golden tower is on a
golden moon chained to a golden planet. This golden planet is named Prospit. It orbits another
planet that we have seen before: Skaia (as seen in Act 2 Part 7).
-So to clarify: Jade's "dreamself" somehow exists in the realm of the game, living on the planet
of the light kingdom.
-Dream Jade flies out to the city. Her dreambot follows her movements back on Earth. The light
kingdom is inhabited by white people (I mean literally white, like PM). Speaking of PM, one
person there looks an awful lot like her.

-Many years in the future, the metal apple has landed and PM emerges onto the sand. She
stares up at the ruins of the frog temple. WV looks over and notices her. The letter from Jade
tells him to go give PM the blue box.
-PM reaches for her sword. Aimless Renegade watches through his scope. AR suddenly starts
firing at WV and PM. The two of them run to take cover behind a large rock.
-While they hide, WV awkwardly shuffles over and hands PM the present. Turns out Jade also
wrote a letter to PM.
Act 3 Part 7
Pages 1047 to 1099

(original comment)

-Dream Jade flies over to the second gold tower on Prospit’s moon. She looks through the
window and sees a dream version of John sleeping. She doesn’t want to wake him up though;
he will wake when he is ready.
-The moon is getting close to Skaia and it is apparently a bad idea to be outside when that
happens. Dream Jade decides to go back to her room and message John about the present she
sent him.

-Back with John. He alchemizes a ton of stuff, including some new outfits, some new weapons,
some new tech, and a bunch of other junk that isn’t really important.
-During this, he also figures out how to remove items from a combined item (by removing the
drawings from one of his posters).

-Back with Dave vs. Bro, Final Round!

-It’s actually really short. Bro ends the fight with a single slice. This has three results:
1. Lil Cal is chopped into multiple pieces.
2. Dave’s sword is broken in half.
3. The record symbol on Dave’s shirt is scratched in half.
-Bro drops his copies of the Sburb beta on Dave’s prone form before flying away on his
rocketboard.

-Back with Dream Jade.

-As the moon comes into contact with Skaia, images begin appearing in the clouds. Specifically,
images of things that haven’t happened yet (from Jade’s perspective at least. We the readers
have seen most of these things before).
-One scene shown in the clouds depicts how, long ago, a meteor struck the Earth near where
Jade lives, where the frog temple is now. Apparently Jade’s dog Bec came to Earth on this
meteor.
-During all this, Jade has a conversation with John which we saw in Act 1 Part 5. Here’s what I
said about it then: “Jade messages John, asking if he got her present in the green box. John
says it arrived, but he can't open it yet since it's still in his Dad's car. John talks about Sburb and
how Rose is messing up his house. Jade doesn't seem to know what Sburb is. Jade hears a
loud explosion noise outside her house. John is concerned as she goes to investigate.”
-Meanwhile, Dream John has floated outside of his room and is starting to wake up. Dream
Jade goes over to greet him.
-Dream John opens his eyes for the briefest moment, long enough to see several objects in the
clouds as well as Jade’s silhouette. (We saw John dreaming this in Act 2 Part 13).
-Jade and John wake up simultaneously. They have a conversation we’ve seen before; here’s
what I said then: “Jade messages John right as he wakes up. He updates her on what's been
going on so far. Jade encourages him to stay positive and listen to his grandmother's advice.
John never mentioned Nanna to her, so he figures Rose or Dave must have told her. John says
Rose and Dave always tried to convince him that Jade has spooky powers. He admits that
sometimes it feels like she knows things she shouldn't. Jade says there's a lot she wants to
explain to him, but she's waiting. She suddenly remembers she was telling John about the
meteor that fell near her house. It's hard for her to explain, but she knows what it is and she
knows everything will be okay. Jade really wants to tell John what she means but he needs to
wake up first. John is confused. Jade elaborates that she doesn't mean "wake up" literally...well
okay, she means it kind of literally. John is even more confused now. Jade says it's time for John
to go; he has company.” (cue the ogres climbing up to fight John)
-Jade updates the reminders she wears on her fingers. Turns out the reason she seems to know
the future sometimes is that when she’s dreaming she can see visions of past, present, and
future events in the clouds of Skaia.
-For unknown reasons, Bec has never allowed Jade to enter the ruins of the frog temple, but
now Jade is determined to go there after seeing it in her dream.
-Luckily, Bec is asleep right now, so Jade uses her harpoon gun to zipline down to the temple.

-Back with John, Rose has built his house up very high by this point. It ends right below the first
gate.

-Back to Dave. Not only is his sword broken, but his strife specibus has been changed from
bladekind to 1/2bladekind, meaning he can now only wield broken swords.
-Dave dumps everything out of his sylladex and finally grabs the beta. He updates Rose before
heading back downstairs to install it.

-Meanwhile, Rose watches the flames creeping up her bedroom window while she waits for
Dave. She considers sending John his birthday present via captchalogue code, but decides not
to because it isn’t finished yet.

-Flashback to a few months ago (December). John’s birthday present to Rose was a set of
knitting needles and yarn. He also wrote her a nice note about how he knows she’s a nice
person even though she acts very aloof all the time.
-After reading that note, Rose gets a message from someone called grimAuxiliatrix [GA]. GA
types in a jade green color and Capitalizes Every Word.
-GA starts the conversation with a long diatribe about how humans have trouble understanding
time travel.
-Rose has never spoken to GA before, but GA says that they have already talked in the future.
Rose correctly guesses that GA is somehow able to talk to Rose at whatever point in time she
wants. GA is pleased that she understands, but Rose quickly points out that understanding does
not equal belief.
-Rose doesn’t get why a bunch of trolls would use time travel to harass some kids via instant
messaging. GA admits that it wasn’t a very well thought out plan.
-GA asks if Rose wants to be friends. Apparently Rose will suggest this in the future
conversation. Rose accepts.

-Still in a flashback, at about the same time period, but with Dave this time. John’s note to Dave
was about how he’s actually a good friend, but he needs to get out of his Bro’s shadow and
spread his wings. John’s present to him is the pair of shades that he’s worn throughout
Homestuck so far (previously Dave was wearing pointy anime shades like Bro).
-Dave also gets a message from a troll. This one is named adiosToreador [AT]. He types in
brown and gives off a faltering, nervous vibe from his typing style.
-AT does his best to troll Dave, but Dave quickly turns the tables on him with a lot of elaborate
sexual euphemisms and his classic rapid-fire rambling. AT gets so uncomfortable that HE’S the
one who blocks Dave.
Act 3 Part 8
Pages 1100 to 1153

(original comment)

-We get our proper introduction to the Aimless Renegade. His wild firing on WV and PM resulted
in him missing every shot and wasting all his ammo, almost like he’s...aimless.
-The inside of the frog temple has hieroglyphs depicting frogs, turtles, and other creatures, as
well as the spirograph symbol we’ve seen a lot. AR considers these images to be “illegal” and
gets pretty angry about it.
-There’s also a lot of ammo and various weapons stored in the temple, marked with a symbol of
Jade’s grandpa.
-AR wonders if maybe he should try to befriend WV and PM, especially since he finds PM
attractive. On the other hand, they ARE trespassing on his crime scene.
-AR is obsessed with the law, the same way the WV is obsessed with being the mayor and PM
is obsessed with the mail.
-There’s a large elevator platform in the temple, but it’s jammed with what looks to be Jade’s
bass guitar, albeit very old and broken.

-Back in modern times, Jade carefully places the blue box down along with a letter she wrote.
The box is then appearified by WV, as we saw in Act 3 Part 6. Jade shoots down her zipline and
leaves the cable there for WV to use in the future.

-Back in the far future, PM reads the letter from Jade. Suddenly AR blows up part of the ruins
with a rocket launcher, even though he was aiming for the two others. He takes aim at PM but
somehow hits the metal apple instead. WV serves as a distaction while PM rushes for the newly
created hole in the apple as the letter instructed her to.
-AR shoots at WV and doesn’t manage to hit him, but he gets pretty close.
-PM reads the next instruction from the letter and uses a machine to sendificate the blue box to
a specific location.

-Years in the past, specifically when Jade was a lot younger. It’s her birthday! She’s hanging out
with her grandpa and Bec, but Bec takes her a short distance away. A blue box suddenly
appears in front of her!
-In the box is a shirt that’s too big for her and a few packs of pumpkin seeds. It’s a present to her
from someone named John. He thanks her for introducing him to Rose and Dave, and
encourages her to grow some more pumpkins to make up for the ones that keep disappearing.
-Jade doesn’t know who John is, or the other friends he mentioned, but she thinks that
gardening sounds like a lot of fun!

-We get a sudden transition in time and space thanks to Dad punching Jack Noir in the face.
-Jack pulls out a knife, but before he can use it Dad sets the colorful jester hat on fire and
stomps it into the ground. Jack appreciates this since he hated that hat anyway and lets Dad go
free.

-Back to modern Jade. She plays her guitar to make a bunch of lily pads grow and make a path
for her. I have no idea how this works, please don’t ask me to explain it. My only answer is
shenanigans.
-Jade finally enters the frog temple.

-Back to Dave. He starts installing the Sburb discs he got from his Bro.

-OH BOY [S] ENTER HERE WE GO. I love this one.

-Dave installs Sburb.
-Jade explores the frog temple, heading through the area we saw with AR earlier. Past that, she
finds a giant flower.
-Meteors are heading for Rose. Rose’s house is very much on fire at this point.
-Dave and Rose quickly rush through the steps to get Rose into the game, starting with placing
the totem lathe and the cruxtruder.
-The flower Jade found is sitting on a pedestal with a countdown of about four-and-a-half
minutes left.
-Dave places the alchemiter, builds some better paths for Rose, and uses the giant wizard
statue to bonk the cruxtruder open and release the kernelsprite. He discards the statue just
outside Rose’s house, where its hand breaks off.
-Also there’s a giant fire tornado now.
-Dave grabs a cruxite dowel and places it and the pre-punched card next to the totem lathe.
Rose carves the totem and Dave takes it to the alchemiter.
-The wizard statue is picked up by the fire tornado.
-Rose throws Jaspers’ corpse into the kernelsprite, creating Jaspersprite.
-Rose’s entry item is a wine bottle. Unfortunately, the broken wizard hand is flung into the bottle
by the tornado and launches it off of the building.
-Meanwhile, Dave is grabbing the tentacled princess doll from the living room.
-Also meanwhile, Nannasprite is writing her letter to John into the newer copy of Colonel
Sassacre’s.
-Rose takes a running leap off of her house and dives to grab her entry item. (Sidenote, I
absolutely love the music here)
-Nannasprite drops the Colonel Sassacre’s book into the cloudy abyss below John’s
house...except there seems to be some sort of land below the clouds.
-Rose manages to grab the bottle and is saved just in time by Jaspersprite, who Dave has
combined with the tentacled princess doll.
-The countdown for Rose’s meteor and Jade’s flower bud are almost over.
-The metal cylinder that WV was in is revealed to be the cork of a giant wine bottle, located
where Rose’s house used to be.
-Rose breaks the bottle and enters the game moments before the meteor strikes.
-The flower capsule opens to reveal...Dave’s copies of the Sburb beta??? Well at least Jade has
a copy of the game now.
-Meanwhile with John, he is putting his new weapons to good use and absolutely destroying all
those enemies as he climbs to the top of his house-tower.
-John enters the first gate.
-John’s house is revealed to be located on a tall spire above a cloudy, dark blue planet.

END OF ACT 3
Act 3 Intermission

Act 3 Intermission Part 1

Pages 1154 to 1206

(original comment)

-Welcome to the Intermission! Please don’t skip it.

-We take a break from our regularly scheduled Homestuck to focus on the Midnight Crew for a
bit. Yes, the guys from the webcomic the kids occasionally read. Turns out they’re real people in
this universe.
-Our first character here is Spades Slick, the leader of the Midnight Crew. The Crew is trying to
get revenge against a rival gang called The Felt, so they’ve infiltrated the mansion belonging to
their leader, someone named Lord English.
-The other three members of the Crew (Diamonds Droog, Hearts Boxcars, and Clubs Deuce)
have already dispersed throughout the mansion to carry out their orders.
-The official mission is to find the vault and steal everything inside, but Spades Slick really just
wants to kill everyone. He also really hates clocks and makes it his secondary mission to
destroy all of them.
-Slick goes to mspaintadventures.com and criticizes Homestuck for being a lot of nonsense.
-In his war chest, Slick keeps a list of the Felt members and marks them off as he kills them. So
far Crowbar (7), Matchsticks (11), and Quarters (14) have been killed.
-Still alive are Itchy (1), Doze (2), Trace (3), Clover (4), Fin (5), Die (6), Stitch (9), Sawbuck (10),
Eggs (12), Biscuits (13), and Cans (15).
-Apparently members of the Felt have time-related abilities. So get ready for some time
shenanigans!
-No one knows what Lord English looks like. Also Snowman (8) is still alive too, but killing her is
“out of the question”.
-If it wasn’t obvious yet: Midnight Crew = playing cards. The Felt = billiard balls.
-As the muscle and safe-cracker, Hearts Boxcars has headed for the vault already. Diamonds
Droog and Clubs Deuce are still making their way through the mansion.
-Slick enters a room full of blood, bullet holes, and destroyed clocks.
-Clubs Deuce radios Slick to let him know he has captured Doze.

-We are now Clubs Deuce. He attempts to interrogate Doze, but Doze is using his special ability
which slows down time for himself. So basically Doze is just moving too slowly to have any
noticeable reaction to the interrogation.
-Itchy suddenly darts by (his ability is to go really fast) and unties Doze. Doze very slowly makes
his escape.
-Back to Spades Slick. Slick decides the best way to deal with Itchy is just to stick his leg out
and trip the guy. It works. Slick beats Itchy to death with his cast iron horse hitcher.
-Die suddenly appears. His ability requires a bit of explanation but we’ll save that for later.

-Back to Clubs Deuce. Doze is still slowly escaping but Deuce isn’t really doing anything
important right now, so let’s just check on…

-Diamonds Droog.
-Suddenly he gets punched in the face by Trace who can follow someone’s “past trail” and see
where they have been. He can use this to mess with them from the future. Unfortunately for him,
this lets Droog know exactly where Trace will be in the future.
-Droog follows the blood trail up the stairs.
Act 3 Intermission Part 2
Pages 1207 to 1250

(original comment)

-Clubs Deuce stuffs Doze into his battledrobe before heading off to help out Droog.

-A few minutes in the past, Die is playing cards against Itchy but gets fed up with his cheating.
Now it’s time to explain Die’s power: he has a voodoo doll and a bunch of pins corresponding to
each member of The Felt (and a few other people). When he inserts one of the pins into the
doll, it transports him to a timeline where that person is dead.
-So, being fed up with Itchy’s cheating, Die inserts Itchy’s pin into the doll and is transported to
our timeline, where Spades Slick has just murdered Itchy.
-Slick wastes no time in assaulting Die, but before he can finish the job Die inserts the spades
pin.
-In the timeline where Spades Slick is dead, there is no mansion. In fact, there is no city at all,
just a barren wasteland. Apparently Spades Slick played an important role in creating this
civilization. Also, this definitely isn’t Earth. There’s a large planet on the horizon as well as a
nearby pink moon with its own smaller moon orbiting it.

-Let’s go back to the normal timeline and check in on Hearts Boxcars. He’s at the vault, which is
very very large. There’s some sort of clock serving as the combination lock. Boxcars assumes
you probably need to use the Felt’s time powers to open it, but he doesn’t have time for this
bullshit so he just calls Deuce to bring him some explosives.
-There is a ticking sound coming from an orange oven in the room. It’s the “power” belonging to
Biscuits. He thinks it’s time travel, but really he just sets the timer and hides inside the oven until
it dings. He’s not the smartest.
-Another timer goes off. This time it’s Eggs. He can kind of “clone” himself by using his egg timer
to travel back in time so that there are a bunch of him at the same time/place. Boxcars is
immediately surrounded by various Eggs.

-And this is where I start getting a bit confused. I’ll do my best to explain.
-So, a bit in the future, Trace had been following Droog’s past trail, but then noticed Deuce’s
past trail and started following that instead.
-In the present, Deuce tells Boxcars he’ll bring the explosives after he helps out Droog.

-Meanwhile Droog has followed the blood trail to its end, in a room absolutely riddled with bullet
holes. But with all this time nonsense going on, who knows when it actually happened.
-He notices a tooth on the floor and identifies it as belonging to Fin, another member of the Felt.
He’s basically the opposite of Trace: he follows “future trails”, so he knows where people WILL
be and can mess with them from the past.
-But just like with Trace, Droog now knows where Fin was in the past. He waits for just the right
moment and assaults Fin through time with his cuestick and assault rifle. The pre-existing bullet
holes make aiming easier.
-In the past, Fin is now mortally wounded and creates the blood trail that Droog had been
following this whole time.

I’m adding this note in here because the future/past trails are the ones that confuse me the
most. So basically the past trails (Trace) are just like normal tracking. Imagine that whenever a
person walks somewhere they leave glowing footprints. That’s a past trail. A future trail (Fin) is
like having very accurate clairvoyance/future vision about where a person is going to go. Like if
they mapped out their entire route beforehand and you can see everywhere they will go in the
future.

-Back to Spades Slick. Die doesn’t want to live in a desert wasteland, so he pulls the spades pin
back out and jumps back to the main timeline...just in time for Slick to cut his throat. RIP Die.
-Slick grabs the voodoo doll and sticks Die’s pin into it just to keep things in order. He figures it’s
a good way to keep track of the dead people.
-He could just stick all the pins in and skip to the timeline where all his enemies are dead, but
where’s the fun in that? He might need it later, though. Supposedly, Lord English is
indestructible unless you exploit various glitches in spacetime itself.

-Back to Droog. He follows the blood trail back the way he came, but in a roundabout way so
that Fin can’t see his future trail.

-Clubs Deuce watches Trace go by (he’s tracking Droog, and will later switch to tracking Deuce).
-Deuce leaves Doze strapped into a chair and then gets distracted and wanders off to follow
Fin’s blood trail.

-A bit in the future, Trace finds Doze who attempts to warn him about something under his hat.
It’s a bomb. Doze and Trace die in an explosion.

-A bit in the past, Fin continues wandering around, surprised at how Deuce’s future trail is
matching his path perfectly (it’s because he’s following Fin’s blood trail, but I’ll forgive Fin on this
since he’s woozy from blood loss).
-Fin considers shooting Deuce in the head, but the combination of blood loss and the explosives
Deuce has under his hat make it too difficult to aim properly, so Fin just carries on.
Act 3 Intermission Part 3
Pages 1251 to 1297

(original comment)

-Hearts Boxcars is now surrounded by various versions of Eggs and Biscuits and is currently
regretting his entire life.
-Watching from above is another Felt member, Clover. He’s laughing at the ridiculous situation
and mocking his teammates for being unable to maintain stable time loops. He says that if
Crowbar was still alive, he could help out with that.

-Meanwhile in another location, Stitch (Felt number 9) is working on fixing up Lord English’s
coat. All this time nonsense is tearing the fabric of spacetime, so he has to patch it up.

-Boxcars demands that Slick get to the vault immediately to help him out. He had asked Deuce
for help before, but he never showed. Slick says he’ll head over and try and grab Droog on the
way.
-Droog says he’s following Deuce who’s following Fin. He says he’ll head to Boxcars once they
take care of Stitch.

-Shortly in the past, Fin staggers his way into Stitch’s workshop. So basically Stitch’s power is
that he has these effigies of each member of the Felt. The effigies show the damage that each
person has taken, and if Stitch repairs the effigy then it heals the corresponding person.
Unfortunately for Fin, he bleeds out before Stitch can start his repairs.

-Deuce bursts into Stitch’s workshop. Stitch immediately aims a gun at him. Fortunately for
Deuce, Droog has followed him and has his own gun pressed to Stitch’s back. Droog beats
Stitch but keeps him alive and stores him in his brawlsoleum.

-Knowing that Crowbar could help with Eggs and Biscuits, Slick removes his pin from the
voodoo doll and transports to a timeline where Crowbar is still alive. He ends up in the middle of
a firefight between the Felt and the Midnight Crew.
-The narration suggests that Slick quickly inserts then removes Snowman’s pin, but Slick is
smart enough to know better.
-Speaking of Snowman, she appears in the room. Everyone immediately stops shooting.
-Snowman walks up to Slick and gouges one of his eyes out with her cigarette holder, then
calmly walks away.
-Slick explains that if you kill Snowman, the universe is destroyed.
-Slick removes the cigarette holder from his eye, which turns into a lance that he launches at
Sawbuck. It impales him in the chest, but he’s a sturdy guy so he’s still standing. Sawbuck’s
power is that whenever he is injured, he and the person/people who injured him are both
transported to a random point in time. In this case, to a time shortly before the gunfight that just
happened. Crowbar and Stitch are still setting up the area.
-Out of frustration, Slick murders Stitch. Although he’s still alive in the main timeline, so Slick
doesn’t get to mark him off just yet.
-Slick attacks Crowbar, who deflects it into Sawbuck. They are sent far into the past, before the
city was built. A Scurrilous Straggler (Spades Slick in the past) watches this. He is dressed a lot
like WV.
-Slick beats Crowbar without killing him in order to transport him back to the main timeline. He
stuffs Crowbar into his war chest and takes Crowbar’s crowbar for himself.
-Slick slashes Sawbuck with his knife and is sent back to the future, although a bit further on the
timeline that they were before.
-He grabs Crowbar and Sawbuck and sticks Crowbar’s pin back into the voodoo doll, sending
them back to the main timeline, although they aren’t at quite the right time just yet. Also now
Crowbar is alive in a timeline where he was supposed to be dead, and now this timeline has two
Sawbucks.
-Slick lets them both out. The resulting fight causes a lot of damage to Sawbuck and a lot of
time hopping. Crowbar ends up damaging the main-timeline-Sawbuck, sending the pair of them
off who knows when and leaving the bullet holes everywhere that Slick had seen earlier.
-Slick damages Sawbuck again. They pop up right in front of Past!Slick who is just about to hop
to the other timeline.
-Slick asks past!Slick for help coming up with time-based one-liners, but quickly gives up and
continues with this Sawbuck nonsense.
-Eventually Slick just decapitates Sawbuck. Also Crowbar is dead again and
main-timeline-Sawbuck is dead as well. Slick’s list of who is dead is getting really complicated.
Act 3 Intermission Part 4
Pages 1298 to 1357

(original comment)

-Droog coerces Stitch into making effigies of the Midnight Crew. Stitch stitches up Slick’s ruined
eye.
-Droog and Deuce finally arrive to backup Boxcars. They open fire on the massive crowd of
Eggs and Biscuits, but there’s so many of them at this point that it doesn’t do much good.
-Slick arrives on the scene and impales Stitch with the lance.
-Slick uses Crowbar’s crowbar to destroy Eggs’ egg timer. The crowbar has the ability to nullify
the effects of any time-based object. All the duplicates disappear.
-Boxcars eats Eggs’ head.
-Biscuits hides in his oven. Deuce stuff the oven with explosives and wheels it off to explode
elsewhere. RIP Biscuits.
-Slick moves to open the vault with the crowbar, but Clover warns him that’s not a good idea.
-Droog threatens Clover with a gun, but Clover’s power is Ultimate Lucky Student extremely
good luck, so the gun would probably just jam if he fired it. Droog just wallops him with a
newspaper instead.
-One of the final Felt members, Cans, suddenly bursts through the wall. OH YEAH!!!!!
-Cans literally punches Droog into next week.
-Cans then punches Boxcars so hard he flies straight out of this calendar year and into another,
which is horse-themed.
-Slick is fed up and just starts prying open the vault with the crowbar. It starts sparking with
purple electricity.
-Slick is suddenly transported to a timeline where everything is destroyed and everyone is dead.
(except Snowman).
-Slick enters the vault. There’s a spade door inside. Snowman suddenly arrives, destroying
Slick’s key and ripping his arm off with her whip before shutting the vault door on him.
-Slick has a barcode on his arm just like WV and PM do. He is able to use this barcode to open
the door.
-The hatch opens. On the underside is the Sburb spirograph.
-Inside, Slick finds a terminal much like the ones WV and PM were using. On the screen is a
gray-skinned humanoid with black hair and orange horns. He has the zodiac symbol for cancer
on his shirt. Slick recognizes this kid from a long time ago.
-We end on a poorly drawn version of the previous panel. Apparently the gray kid is CG
(carcinoGeneticist), the troll who messaged Jade in Act 3 Part 3.

END OF INTERMISSION
Act 4

Act 4 Part 1
Pages 1358 to 1407

(original comment)

-After passing through the first gate, John has emerged into the Land of Wind and Shade, the
planet located below his house.
-Nannasprite is still at the house, but she is still able to communicate with John. She
encourages him to explore the land and talk to the locals.

So, this part of Homestuck is actually a Flash game where you can walk around, fight enemies,
and talk to people. The Let’s Read is skipping over it for now but they’ll come back to it later. I
highly encourage you to check it out for yourself if you have the time:
https://www.homestuck.com/story/1358

-Many years in the future, the metal worm is firing lasers at the Aimless Renegade. AR fires
back with more rockets, killing the worm.
-Another rocket sends WV flying. He ends up wearing his pumpkin on his head. AR recognizes
the Bec-head symbol on the pumpkin which terrifies him. He runs down to where WV is, but is
suddenly attacked by PM wielding her black sword.

-Back to Jade. She grabs Dave’s copies of the beta that were in the flower capsule.
-One of the trolls is messaging her but she ignores it for now.
-Captchalogue shenanigans happen. The only really important thing here is the concept of
ghost images. Basically, if you try to captchalogue an item that isn’t there, you instead get a sort
of imprint, like the “idea” of the item. It doesn’t have any actual function, but it does have the
same code that a real version of that item would have, so it could still serve as an alchemy
ingredient.
-Bec appears and warps Jade back to her room. A lot of Jade’s items are left behind in the
temple for AR to find many years in the future.
-Jade begins installing the Sburb beta.
-Jade is now being messaged by three trolls: carcinoGeneticist, arachnidsGrip, and
terminallyCapricious. She continues ignoring them.

-John is still in the Land of Wind and Shade. He tries to message Rose who has also entered
the game at this point, but she isn’t answering right now.
-Jade updates John on everything that’s been going on with her. She says that since she is
going to be Dave’s server player, John will need to be Jade’s server player to complete the
circle. She tells him to look for his Dad’s car, which still has both the server disc and the
package from Jade in it.
-One of the trolls begins messaging John.

-Meanwhile, Dave is also trying to message Rose but she still isn’t answering.
-Jade tells Dave that she’s going to be his server player. She wants to hurry up and get
everything started so they don’t have to deal with the same drama John and Rose went through.
She also sends him a picture of the meteor headed his way. It’s pretty big. Rose finally comes
back online so Dave tells Jade to go ahead and have fun.

-John answers the troll, who turns out to be carcinoGeneticist.

-CG insists that he and John are friends. Apparently CG has had plenty of conversations with
John in the future. He started talking with John far in the future and has been slowly working his
way back along the timeline, getting more frustrated as John knows less and less each time.
John points out how stupid this idea was.
-John realizes that CG and the other trolls have something to do with the game. CG confirms
that they are in the Medium as well, but he refuses to explain anything more because apparently
he already did that in future conversations and he’s sick of repeating it.
-CG asks John to tell Jade to talk to him; he has something important to tell her but she’s
refusing to answer at this point in the timeline. John says he might tell her, then ends the
conversation.
-John heads off to search for his Dad’s car.

-Way in the future, WV deescalates the situation by sharing his canned food with everyone.

-Back to Dave. Smaller meteors are now raining down in the city.
-Jade starts deploying all the necessary machines around Dave’s apartment.
-Rose is finally responding to Dave. She expresses her frustration that it took all day for John
and Dave to connect to her, and yet Jade was able to connect to Dave almost immediately
despite not even receiving a copy of the game in the mail.
-Dave asks why Rose wasn’t responding earlier. She says she was talking to one of the trolls
(almost certainly grimAuxiliatrix). She also tried to check on John but couldn’t find him anywhere
in his house. She did manage to talk to him briefly though. Dave says that he should probably
text John too because he loves him.
-Rose doesn’t know if she ended up in the same place as John after entering the game, but she
thinks she likes it.
-Jade continues Rose’s tradition of yanking the appliances out of the boys’ bathrooms.

-Upon entering the game, Rose emerges into the Land of Light and Rain, an ocean planet with
white sand and pastel colors.
Act 4 Part 2
Pages 1408 to 1462

(original comment)

-Many years in the future, Aimless Renegade goes back into the temple to find something to
impress PM with.
-Meanwhile WV takes PM into the cylinder capsule to show her the terminal with John on it.
Thanks to the hole blown into the side by a rocket earlier, we can now see the third
previously-locked room. It has a dial showing two spirographs on either side of a frog. We don’t
know what this does yet and the station doesn’t have enough power to test it out.
-PM is impressed by WV’s chalk drawings, especially the four planets he drew on the wall (at
this point we have seen two of these planets in person). WV gives her the chalk.
-WV is drawn back outside by the smell of cooking food. PM stays inside and uses the terminal
to communicate with John.

-This is the walkaround flash that was skipped over in Act 4 Part 1. You can play it yourself here:
https://www.homestuck.com/story/1358
-PM talks to John via the terminal as he wanders around the Land of Wind and Shade.
-The imps have some new traits: cat features, tentacles, and princess outfits, as a result of
Rose’s kernelsprite prototyping.
-John eventually comes across some friendly salamanders. They are the consorts of this land.
-The salamanders dump some lore on John:
-There are Fireflies trapped beneath the clouds because of a being known as the Slumbering
One.
-The Underlings (imps and such) have clogged up all the Pipes with sludge.
-Someone known as the Heir has recently arrived in their land.
-The Fireflies will be freed and the sludge cleared up when the Slumbering One is woken up
and then slain, allowing the Breeze through the Pipes once more.
-After talking to all of them, John continues on and finds a giant frog statue that has been
destroyed by the Underlings. Apparently they really hate frogs. John asks Nannasprite about
this and she says that amphibious and reptilian lifeforms have an important role to play in his
quest, especially frogs!
-John comes across something called a Parcel Pyxis. It’s kind of like a mailbox. You can carve
what you want on a minitablet, drop it into the Pyxis, and if someone later finds the tablet and
drops the requested object into the Pyxis, the Breeze will eventually carry that object to you
through the pipes.
-John goes around for a while fulfilling minitablet requests.
-John meets a salamander who is wearing John’s bedsheets like wizard robes.
-He also meets a salamander wearing a crumpled hat. They have fittingly renamed themself
Crumplehat.
-John eventually comes to a place where he can pull out his telescope and see his house far
above, atop a giant stone pillar.
-John asks Nannasprite why the gate took him down. Nanna explains that “to ascend, each time
you must first descend”. John has to find the next gate somewhere in the Land down here, but
Nanna doesn’t tell him where it will take him.

-Back to Rose. Someone is talking to her via a terminal, but we haven’t heard this voice before.
The voice calls Rose “Seer” and tells her that she has much to discover.

-Back to John. He finds a salamander village under attack from some Underlings: a giclops and
a pair of basilisks.

-Back to Dave. Jade falls asleep and drops a toilet through the roof and into Dave’s room.
-Also Dave has opened up the cruxtruder and his kernelsprite is waiting to be prototyped. His
countdown has about four hours left.
-Because of her dreambot, Jade is still able to talk to Dave while she’s asleep, but she’s a bit
more scatterbrained as a result.
-Jade finds the crow that Dave accidentally impaled with a sword back in Act 2 Part 4. She feels
sorry for it and drops it into the kernelsprite before Dave can stop her. Say hello to
Seppucrowsprite!
-Dave manages to wake Jade up by getting her dreambot to slap her real body.

-Many years in the future. AR has used some of his ammo supply to start a fire to cook food on.
-AR gives PM Jade’s old tanglebuddy dolls. This causes PM to remember something.

-Flashback to many years ago. In the Land of Wind and Shade, Dad’s wrecked car is
discovered by the Authority Regulator who blocks the scene off with caution tape and writes a
parking citation.
-AR discovers John’s copy of the server disc and the green box from Jade, and confiscates
them as unauthorized parcels.
-Nearby, a Parcel Mistress is out delivering her mail. She notices AR and wants to avoid him
since he is from the enemy kingdom, but she has a note (from Jade) requesting that she deliver
the green box.
Act 4 Part 3
Pages 1463 to 1508

(original comment)

-John is not having a great time fighting the basilisks. Suddenly a gunshot rings out, killing the
creature instantly. Another shot blinds the giclops, which then absconds.
-Satisfied with his work, Jade’s grandpa (?!) disappears into the forest, carrying John’s copy of
Colonel Sassacre’s.
-John is understandably confused.

-Many years in the future, PM, WV, and AR stargaze in a rare moment of peace.
-Staring at the faded spirograph on the side of the frog temple, PM remembers she has to tell
John something.

-Many years in the past (in other words, about the same time as the present), PM receives a
minitablet carved by John. He is requesting his copy of the Sburb client disc.
-PM approaches AR and requests both the client disc and the green box. He gives her the disc
since she is carrying a written request for it, but he does not relinquish the green box. She has
to talk to his superiors about that.
-PM drops the disc into the nearest Parcel Pyxis, where the Breeze will eventually deliver it to its
recipient.
-PM follows AR at a distance. She must retrieve that box.

-Back to John. He wants to go chase after the man with his book, but he can’t just abandon the
burning village. He attempts to put out the fire with a shaving cream bomb...but shaving cream
is flammable and he just makes it worse.
-Suddenly a very convenient Breeze blows by and puts out all the fires. The salamanders
celebrate John’s heroic actions.
-PM talks to John via the terminal. She would like him to carve something on a minitablet.

-Back to Rose. The unknown voice is still talking to her. It tells her to find Jaspersprite.
-Rose can’t find Jaspersprite, so she instead follows some footprints in the sand. They lead her
down the secret passage in the mausoleum. She emerges onto a pier. The boat is gone but a
martini glass was left behind. Mom has left the island.

-Back in the far future. WV and AR combine their talents to create Exile Town.
-Suddenly a giant egg-shaped capsule appears.

-Back to Dave. He uses his pre-punched card to create an egg. He isn’t quite sure what to do
with it though.
Dave notices that all the stuff he left scattered on the roof after his fight with Bro is gone now.
Jade doesn’t know where it all went either.
-Seppucrowsprite swoops down and grabs the egg. It takes it to the very top of the building’s
tower, where it has built a nest out of all the missing items. Jade thinks it’s trying to hatch the
egg. Dave wonders if he should try to get it back. His countdown has less than four hours left.
Act 4 Part 4
Pages 1509 to 1556

(original comment)

-Jade can’t deploy the punch designix (the one that lets you punch holes in captchalogue cards)
because Dave doesn’t have any shale yet.
-The kids realize that with each connection they start off with more build grist: John started with
20, Rose with 200, and Dave with 2000. Each new connection also adds new items they can
deploy.
-Jade deploys a disc with a currently unknown purpose. She also advises that Dave should
hang on to his original copies of the Sburb beta for now and later just do whatever he feels
compelled to do with them (since they have to somehow end up in that flower capsule for Jade
to eventually find).
-Dave and Jade mess around with some of the new items, but they still need the punch designix
to start doing anything interesting.
-Luckily that disc installs gristTorrent, allowing Dave to pirate some of John’s grist. He quickly
gets enough shale to deploy the designix.

-Back to Rose. She finally responds to John’s message from earlier. Both of them have been
getting more frequent messages from the trolls. John says that they want to be friends now.
(Also sidenote: according to the unknown voice still speaking to Rose, John is the “Heir” the
salamanders were talking about earlier, just like Rose is the “Seer”)
-Anyway, Rose gets messaged by a new troll: gallowsCalibrator. GC types in teal, all caps, with
the numbers 4, 1, and 3 replacing the letters A, I, and E.
-GC starts off the conversation with insults, which goes against what John said about the trolls
trying to be friends. Also GC apparently can smell colors. This isn’t because GC is a troll though,
she’s just a bit weird.
-GC insists that she hates the kids, but she does think that teamwork would be mutually
beneficial and she’s willing to help them out.
-GC says that the trolls have only been talking to the kids for a few minutes from her
perspective. Apparently some of the other trolls decided to start talking to the kids at the end of
their adventure (looking at you, carcinoGeneticist), but GC would much prefer to keep the
conversations linear and logical because weird time stuff gives her a headache.
-GC asks Rose if she’s been hearing a subtle voice in her head. Rose confirms this.
-Rose brings up how the voice has been calling her a Seer. GC rattles off a list of titles: Seer of
Mind, Page of Breath, Knight of Blood, Maid of Time, etc. The trolls have twelve but the kids
have four. (Reminder that Nanna’s letter to John back in Act 2 Part 15 mentioned the Heir of
Breath, Seer of Light, Knight of Time, and Witch of Space.)
-GC says that the voice is an “exile”: people living far in the future on the destroyed Earth who
are able to guide the kids’ actions, particularly to help them complete loops in the timeline.
-GC clarifies that the exiles were former agents who were exiled from the two kingdoms of light
and darkness.

-Flashback to a few months in the past, to December 1st. John and Jade are having a
conversation we saw back in Act 3 Part 6. Here’s what I wrote then: “John wishes Jade a happy
birthday and tells her that he sent her present just in time. Also, John has a different
chumhandle at this point: ghostyTrickster [GT]. Jade reminds John that it takes her a while to
get packages, but she assures John that it will get to her "exactly when it needs to". Jade is
interrupted by a troll.”
-Except this time we actually get to see Jade’s conversation with the troll. It’s carcinoGeneticist.
-He quickly asks her not to block him. He really needs her to listen. Apparently he has a
message from Jade in the future.
-Jade doesn’t believe him though, since every time she’s believed him before, he laughed at her
and called her gullible.
-CG admits that’s his own fault, and tries to excuse his previous and future trolling of Jade as
being the past him, from about half an hour ago when he was more upset about everything.
-CG says that Future Jade told him to tell Jade that when her dreambot blows up, she should
contact the trolls and they’ll tell her what to do next. Jade still doesn’t believe him so CG just
leaves the conversation.
-The conversation between John and Jade continues. Here’s the rest of what I said about it
earlier: “John expresses his frustration with the trolls as well. Jade thinks it's a group of people;
she's counted twelve so far. They've been messaging her for years. John thinks he might
change his chumhandle to try and throw them off his trail, which is why he now goes by
ectoBiologist.”

-We get a quick shot of carcinoGeneticist sitting at a computer and looking very frustrated.

-Still with Flashback Jade. A green box from her “penpal” appears next to her. It’s Jade’s
present to John, and she’s been collaborating with someone on it.

-Still in the flashback, but with John this time. He gets a message from gallowsCalibrator.
-She just laughs a lot. John eventually starts laughing with her. GC criticizes him for laughing at
a blind girl, before insulting and threatening him. She mentions ectobiology, which gives John
the idea for his new chumhandle.

-We get our first look at GC. She has a teal Libra symbol on her shirt and wears opaque red
glasses.

-Back to present times. The Parcel Mistress arrives in the dark kingdom carrying the parking
citation that the Authority Regulator left on Dad’s car earlier.
-PM passes by a person who looks a lot like Diamonds Droog.
-PM eventually makes her way to the Black Queen’s throne room. She directs PM to the office
of the Archagent.
-Back to Rose. Her exile tells her that she is leaving and this is the last Rose will hear from her.
Her last words to Rose are telling her to find her sprite and realize her purpose.
-Rose takes a sip of Mom’s martini but the flavor is too strong for her. BLUH

-Many years in the future, the fourth exile appears from the egg capsule. She is the Windswept
Questant.

-Back to the present. PM has arrived in the Archagent’s office, who turns out to be Jack Noir.
PM explains that she’s here for the green box. Jack makes a deal: if she brings him the crowns
of the White King and Queen, she can have the box. He also gives her a black regisword to help
her out. PM leaves to carry out her new mission.
-Jack opens the box out of curiosity. He is shocked by what he sees.
Act 4 Part 5
Pages 1557 to 1607

(original comment)

-Dave punches a bunch of cards so that he can start experimenting. Jade helps him out by
handing him a bunch of random items to use.
-It turns out that the jumper block allows you to customize the alchemiter with whatever punched
card you stick into it. Some of these are more useful than others.
-Dave and Jade manage to optimize this by combining pretty much every Sburb machine into
one, greatly simplifying the entire alchemizing process.

-Back to John. He’s finally found Dad’s car. Unfortunately, the server disc and green box are no
longer there.
-gallowsCalibrator messages John. She wants to help John on his journey because it’s “long
and boring” and she can help him skip some steps. Also she wants to mess with the timeline.
The other trolls think that it’s too late to change anything because the timeline is set in stone, but
GC wants to try anyway just to know what happens.
-John reluctantly agrees to the help. GC sends him a map leading to his next gate. She drew it
herself. It’s...not great. GC says she’ll just lead him there: it’s a big pipe that he has to jump in
and the Breeze will carry him to the next gate.

-Back to Rose. She’s dealing with the Underlings in her land, quickly taking out two imps and
incapacitating an ogre. She and Dave have a brief conversation. Dave’s been building up her
house. They’ve both been using gristTorrent to pirate John’s stuff. Dave lets Rose know that
he’ll be pretty busy in a few hours as his countdown reaches the end and he enters the game.
-Both Rose and Dave are messaged by the trolls.

-Dave gets to talk to grimAuxiliatrix this time. GA is looking for advice on how to befriend Rose.
Dave interprets this as GA having a crush on Rose.
-Dave gives her some questionable advice. GA decides on a plan that may or may not have
anything to do with that advice.

-Rose is talking to adiosToreador, that poor troll that got verbally destroyed by Dave back in Act
3 Part 7.
-AT is looking for advice on how to troll Dave. Rose encourages him to start a rap battle against
Dave. She even offers to help him write it, but he declines the offer.
-grimAuxiliatrix messages Rose now. She is straightforward and explains how she went to Dave
for advice, although she is not going to follow it exactly.
-GA explains how (because of time shenanigans) her conversations with Rose do not progress
in chronological order. Rose’s first time talking to GA was actually GA’s second time talking to
Rose. Likewise, this is Rose’s second conversation with GA but GA’s seventh conversation with
Rose. Next time will be GA’s first conversation.
-Here’s the full sequence so far, in the format of [Rose’s perspective]=[GA’s perspective]: 1=2,
2=7, 3=1, 4=3, 5=4, 6=5, 7=6. Unless Future GA has added some more conversations in there
somewhere.
-It’s pretty confusing. You don’t need to memorize that, just know that their conversations aren’t
happening in any reasonable order.
-Apparently in GA’s first conversation with Rose (Rose’s next conversation with GA), Rose will
give off the impression of being much less intelligent than she actually is.
-The two of them exchange snarky banter for a bit before GA decides to hop to conversation
8=8 and Rose goes to talk to Jaspersprite.

-We get our first look at grimAuxiliatrix. She has a jade-green Virgo symbol on her shirt.

-Back to Dave. AT arrives to start his rap battle. Dave completely ignores him, but AT continues
on. It’s honestly kind of a mess but he feels proud of himself.

-We get our first look at adiosToreador. He has huge bull horns and a brown Tauros symbol on
his shirt.

-Back to John. He’s made it through the pipe GC led him to.
-The bunny that Dave gave him for his birthday falls into the oil, but John manages to save it.
-Insert Con Air reference. John gives the bunny to a young salamander.
-carcinoGeneticist is watching this and is furious (but he’s pretty much always furious so
whatever). John describes the plot of Con Air to CG, who admits that it sounds pretty good
actually. CG seems to have terrible taste in movies as well.
-Also troll movies have really long titles because they have thousands of years of film history
and all the short titles have been taken already.
-John mentions that GC is helping him out. CG was not aware of this and goes to ask her what’s
going on. Because of time shenanigans, the GC that CG is talking to helped out John a while
ago and just laughs at him.
-At this point CG and GC are basically trolling each other through time by using John as a proxy.
-John asks if CG has talked to Jade yet. CG wasn’t aware that he needed to talk to Jade and
goes to investigate this. John advises him to tell Past John to calm down when CG talks to him
next.
-Meanwhile, gallowsCalibrator is talking to John as well. She can hear CG banging on his
keyboard and theorizes that this whole thing is just a way for him to vent some frustration.
-GC shows John that the shortcut took him near the palace of his Denizen (the Slumbering One
that the salamanders mentioned earlier). The Denizen is basically the final boss of the land and
it guards a huge hoard of grist.
-GC explains that normally, in the process of going through all the gates, John would awaken his
Denizen and reach the palace after entering the seventh gate, at which point he and the
Denizen would fight.
-However, because GC helped John sequence break the game, the Denizen is not awake and
John should be able to easily kill it in its sleep.
-GC says that the grist hoard is used for the “ultimate alchemy”.
-GC leads John to a nearby gate and tells him to jump in. It returns him to his bedroom.
Act 4 Part 6
Pages 1608 to 1659

(original comment)

-Many years in the future, AR and WV are making a crown to give to the Windswept Questant.
PM starts heading over towards them.

-In the present, the Parcel Mistress meets with the White Queen. PM explains everything about
the green box and how Jack told her to get the crowns of Prospit’s royalty.
-The White Queen removes her ring. This also removes all the prototyping effects from her (the
cat face, tentacles, etc.). (Also the White Queen is the Windswept Questant, if you couldn’t tell.)
-WQ gives PM both the ring and her crown, abdicating the throne. WQ tells her the White King
can be found on the battlefield.

-Back in the future. WQ gives the crown to PM.

-Back to Rose. She finally gets to talk to Jaspersprite. He can talk, but he’s still a cat so he
speaks a lot like a young child would. Apparently Rose’s Denizen ate every living thing in the
ocean before falling asleep.
-Rose asks Jaspers about the message he gave her before he disappeared (we saw this in Act
3 Part 4). Jaspers’ answer is “meow”. He says she will understand when she wakes up. He also
says that she is the Seer of Light.
-Jaspers tries to give Rose advice on her quest, but since he’s a cat it comes through as a lot of
vague metaphors. Rose kind of understands though. She says that he’s a good cat and she
missed him. Jaspers purrs.

-Rose messages Jade, who is currently asleep. Rose asks her for advice about “waking up”.
Jade explains that Rose has a dream self who is supposed to wake up when the real Rose goes
to sleep. In fact, all four of the kids have a dream self. Rose’s dream self stays asleep when
Rose goes to sleep though, because she hasn’t woken up yet.
-Rose correctly guesses that Jade’s dream self has been awake for a long time. Rose is actually
talking to her right now! Jade is the only one who can message people in her sleep though,
thanks to her dreambot.
-Rose asks how she’s supposed to wake up. Jade says she should start examining the things
that plague her subconscious. Maybe she could start with the stuff she wrote on her walls?
Rose is shocked by this. Apparently she wrote stuff on her walls without realizing it, the same
way that John had. Rose attempts to confirm this with Dave but he doesn’t reply.
-Also Dream Jade is sitting in Dream John’s room while he sleeps. She’s drawn hearts and
encouraging messages on his walls to cover up the negative graffiti.
-Meanwhile Dave is furiously climbing up to try and retrieve the egg from his sprite. The meteor
looms ever closer overhead.

-Back to John. gallowsCalibrator is still talking to him and asks him to send her the code for the
messed up rocketpack he made back in Act 2 Part 13. She’s got the codes for all the random
items jammed into it. The trolls have a hacker on their team, so she’s gonna give the codes to
him and let him figure out how to fix it.
-Also Casey (the salamander John gave the bunny to) is here as well.
-GC gives John the code for the functional rocketpack: PCHOOOOO. John makes the
rocketpack.
-Dave messages John. He’s in the game now. John tells him how he’s about to blast off with his
rocket. Dave asks for some advice: his sprite is suggesting the next item to prototype it with, but
Dave isn’t too sure. He would ask Rose, but Rose is asleep for some reason.
-John captchalogues Casey the salamander for her own protection before blasting off towards
the seventh gate.

-In the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Dave has already made some cool new outfits and
weapons. He quickly takes out the Underlings (which now occasionally have bird wings, beaks,
and torso-swords to match his sprite’s prototyping).
-Also Dave’s sprite is now Calsprite. Please kill it with fire.
-Dave has also figured out how to weaponize time travel via some record-like items that he
created.
-Calsprite only communicates via manic laughter. Dave hates it.
-Dave messages Rose. Turns out it’s been four months since he entered the game. Surprise!
We’re actually in the future right now.
-It turns out John was killed by his Denizen after entering the seventh gate, and because John
died, Jade was not able to enter the game and was probably killed by her meteor. The trolls
ceased all communication after John’s death.
-Dave and Rose have spent the last four months gathering information in preparation for Dave
going back in time and preventing John’s death.
-Rose isn’t sure what will happen to her after Dave goes back. Dave tells her the whole timeline
will probably vanish, so she should go to sleep; dream selves seem to operate outside the
normal timeline, so that’s her best chance of surviving. It might even help her past self wake up
sooner.

-Dave travels back in time by four months. He appears right next to himself, who has just
entered the game and is asking John about prototyping his sprite. (Time Travel!Dave will now be
referred to as Future Dave so I don’t make everyone confused).
-Right before John blasts off, Dave tells him to wait. Future Dave says if John goes through the
gate he’s going to die. John thinks Dave is just playing a prank on him.
-Future Dave messages John as well and asks him to listen to him in the name of their
friendship. John reluctantly agrees.
-Future Dave drops all his cool gear on the ground before jumping into Dave’s sprite and
prototyping himself. Say hello to Davesprite!

-Meanwhile, John has blasted off after all, in spite of the warnings.

-Back to Rose. After her conversation with Jade, she gets ready to take a nap. In the doomed
future, Dream Rose suddenly disappears only to merge with Present Rose, who immediately
falls asleep.

-Back to the Daves. Davesprite messages GC to tell her to leave John alone. GC says she
knew John wouldn’t die because some of the other trolls have already been talking to John in
the future, so obviously he has to survive. Davesprite clarifies that John actually did die in the
other timeline, then gives GC a short speech about stable time loops and how her actions have
played a part in creating the bad situation everybody is in right now. GC didn’t really think of
that.
-Davesprite asks which one of the trolls is in charge of time stuff over there. GC says that their
time troll doesn’t want to talk to any of the humans and she isn’t interested in trolling them
either.
-Davesprite gives GC some credit for actually managing to get John killed; she’s doing a better
job at trolling than any of the others. GC actually feels kind of guilty about that.
-GC and Davesprite start bonding over bad art.
-Davesprite knows a lot of stuff about the game since he’s a sprite now. He doesn’t have any
patience for riddles though, so he decides to just be straightforward with Dave.
-All the gear Davesprite brought from the future should make a lot of the early-game stuff really
easy for Dave. The two of them fistbump before heading off to do their own things.
Act 4 Part 7
Pages 1660 to 1713

(original comment)

-John has a flashback to Act 1 Part 4, when he opened up his birthday gift from Dave and got
the bunny from Con Air.
-Also in the package was a letter from Dave, which we didn’t get to see until now. It’s basically
Dave saying that he’s happy to be John’s friend, even though he knows he’ll probably have to
bail John out of trouble one day.
-Back in the present, John remembers this letter which causes him to take Dave’s advice and
not go through the seventh gate.
-John gets messaged by carcinoGeneticist. Quick reminder that CG decided to troll John
backwards through time, so this CG is further back in time than the previous conversations with
him. CG is starting to get frustrated by this and also by how friendly John is being, both in this
conversation and in the ones John will have in the future.
-After a bit of ranting about how John knows less and less the further CG goes back in the
timeline (which...yeah, that’s how time works, CG), he tells John to ask him anything. Although
he refuses to answer some of John’s questions because apparently he already answered them
in future conversations.
-John asks where the trolls actually are. CG says they’re hiding in what’s left of the Veil, which is
a belt of meteors orbiting beyond Skaia. It separates the Medium from the Furthest Ring, where
Derse orbits (Derse = the dark planet, Prospit = the light planet).
-John asks what CG means by “what’s left of the Veil”. CG explains that when the army of Derse
defeats the army of Prospit and the White King is captured or killed, the Black King and Queen
use a power to send the meteors in the Veil toward Skaia in an attempt to destroy it. This is
called the Reckoning. That’s when the game gets serious and starts a countdown for the players
to defeat the Black King and Queen. Skaia itself helps out by activating its defense portals,
which redirect the meteors away from itself.
-John says it sounds like they have plenty of time then, but CG says the kids’ Reckoning starts
much sooner thanks to something that they’ve already done. He says they have no chance of
winning anymore. They also do something later on that causes a bunch of trouble for the trolls.
-CG says there are laboratories and stuff in the meteors, which is where the trolls are hiding
right now. Some of these labs are used to genetically engineer soldiers for the two armies.
-CG says John will find out more when he gets there, since John was apparently in the Veil the
last time CG talked to him.

-Meanwhile, on Derse. Jack Noir is sitting at his desk, drawing angry doodles about the Black
Queen.
-Speaking of the Black Queen, she arrives at Jack’s office and demands he comply with the
dress code and wear the silly, brightly colored princess/jester outfit. Jack is forced into a
humiliating dress-up montage while the Queen watches. Jack quickly gets fed up and rips the
clothes from his body in tatters.

-Meanwhile, Dream Rose is awake. She realizes she has scribbled the letters MEOW all over
her walls. She suddenly understands Jaspers’ message. The MEOW letters can be translated
into GCAT letters: genetic code.

-Meanwhile in the Land of Light and Rain, Mom is confronting some huge Underlings. She
defeats them with nothing but her bare fists.

-Meanwhile in the Land of Wind of Shade, Dad is fighting as well, with similar success. He
carves a minitablet requesting a new hat to replace his oil-stained one.

-Meanwhile in the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Bro is also destroying enemies with ease.

-A quick update on everyone’s current status: Rose and Jade are both asleep. John is flying
around with his rocketpack. Davesprite is at his computer.

-Bec provides us with a transition back to Jack Noir. The Queen is threatening him with a sword.
Jack reaches into the box and pulls out whatever is inside. The Queen is very shocked before
her ring finger is severed and her body is blown to smithereens. RIP Black Queen.
-Jack takes the ring and puts it on, gaining the power of the royalty and adopting all the
prototyping traits (jester clothes, missing arm, slashed eye, cat face, tentacles, sword through
torso, and wings).
-END OF YEAR 1 (4/13/2009 to 4/13/2010)
-Just to clarify, that's one year of publication for Homestuck. As far as the story goes, it's still the
same day it was when we started: April 13th, 2009, John’s birthday.

-We take a break from our regularly scheduled Homestuck to look through the fourth wall.
Specifically, we get to spy on the author of Homestuck, Andrew Hussie.
-Unable to figure out how to turn the wall off, Hussie just goes back to writing a recap of the first
year of Homestuck.

I highly recommend that you check out the recap. It’s very useful, even if you feel like you
understand everything pretty well. It spells things out a lot more clearly than the story normally
does. Seriously, go check it out now. I just went through it again and it really does help.

You can watch the Let’s Read video of it here: https://youtu.be/bqudt_gJuAs

Or you can read it for yourself here: https://www.homestuck.com/story/1674

-The narrator interrupts Hussie’s recap and tells him to do something less boring. Hussie tells
the narrator to shut up.
-Hussie has a real-life version of Cal (the real-world Andrew Hussie has this too).
-Hussie has a brief megalomaniacal episode before going back to drawing Homestuck. He gives
us a nice transition back to John.

-gallowsCalibrator sends John a screenshot of the map of his world, with the second gate
labeled. She’s trying to make up for getting him killed in the other timeline.
-John accepts her help after a few moments of hesitation. He enters the gate which transports
him to Rose’s house. Rose somehow sleeps through John crashing a rocketpack through her
wall.
-Vodka Mutini (the kitten) greets John. John renames the kitten Dr. Meowgon Spangler (I’m
gonna keep calling the cat Mutini though).
-Davesprite messages John. He explains how the gates circle around each of the kids’ four
planets, which is why building the houses up is so important: John entered his second gate
early and if he didn’t have his rocketpack, he would’ve fallen to his death because Rose’s house
isn’t high enough yet.
-John implies that Davesprite isn’t a “real Dave”. Davesprite gets quite upset over this and
angrily gives John a captchalogue code.
-Speaking of Daves, the not-a-sprite Dave messages John as well. When he hears that John is
in Rose’s room, he heads back to his computer to check it out. Davesprite decides to fly off
somewhere while this happens.
-Dave encourages John to rummage through all of Rose’s stuff before she wakes up. John
decides to be a nice person and not do that. He does agree to Dave’s request to pick up Rose’s
two journals, however.
-Dave manages to take a screenshot of the captchalogue code for the journals then distracts
John by pointing him towards Rose’s present for him.

-Meanwhile, Dream Rose flies over to the other tower on Derse. Inside is Dream Dave, who is
actually already awake, just kind of out of it. Also Dream Cal exists and is capable of moving
around on his own.
-Dream Rose bonks Dream Dave on the head with some yarn, which causes the real Dave to
instantly fall asleep and Dream Dave to wake up entirely.

-John gives in to temptation and opens up Rose’s present. Inside is an old, oil-soaked stuffed
bunny that has been partially repaired with purple yarn knitted by Rose. Also included is a
characteristically wordy letter from Rose. She expresses how she wanted to use John’s present
of a knitting set to help create her present for him. It’s actually really sweet.
-John is super excited to get two bunnies on the same day. He gently puts the bunny back in the
box. He thinks it’s a bit odd just how similar Rose’s bunny is to the bunny that Dave gave him
(which is now soaked in oil).
-John releases Casey the salamander from his sylladex.
-A troll is messaging Rose.
Act 4 Part 8
Pages 1714 to 1766

(original comment)

-John decides to answer the troll messaging Rose. It’s grimAuxiliatrix. Remember when GA said
that Rose gave off a different impression the first time GA talked to her? That’s what’s
happening now. This is the first time GA ever talks to “Rose”, except it’s actually John
pretending to be Rose.
-John is the first to suggest a potential friendship between GA and Rose. GA thinks about
learning to activate the viewport on her computer so that she can see what Rose looks like.
-GA is kind of weirded out by “Rose”, who suggests that GA should probably talk to John later.

-Meanwhile in the meteor lab where all the trolls are hanging out. GA messages a troll we
haven’t heard from yet, twinArmageddons. He’s their tech guy, the one who set up the computer
stations for them. She asks him to activate the viewport for her. He’s kind of cranky and insists
that the trolls are all going to die.
-We get our first look at TA. He has four horns, rather than the usual two, and he wears glasses
that are red on one side and blue on the other. He has a mustard-yellow Gemini sign on his
shirt.

-Meanwhile on Derse. Dream Rose and Dream Dave are enjoying some of Dave’s music and
having a dance party. Rose gets frustrated by Dream Cal warping all over the place and tosses
him out the window of the tower.

-Meanwhile in the Land of Light and Rain. We are now Maplehoof the pony. (Remember
Maplehoof? Mom gave her to Rose in Act 2 Part 6.)
-Maplehoof follows Mom into some ruins. There’s a whole bunch of grist scattered around from
when Mom was kicking ass earlier. Maplehoof collects all of it for Rose because she is a good
pony.
-Mom transportalizes somewhere and Maplehoof follows her.

-Meanwhile in the Land of Wind and Shade. We are now a clean new hat. The Breeze carries
the hat to John’s Dad, who swaps it out for his oil-stained one.
-Dad sees Jade’s Grandpa standing at the entrance to some ruins and follows him inside. They
both transportalize somewhere.

-Back to John. He heads over to Rose’s alchemiter to test out the code Davesprite gave him
earlier. It creates a hammer called Fear No Anvil.
-John asks Davesprite where he got the code. He got it from his Denizen, Hephaestus, although
he didn’t kill him for it.
-Back on Derse. On Dave’s computer, Dream Rose sees John at her house and wakes up to go
greet him.

-Back on the troll meteor. TA opens up GA’s viewport and she gets her first look at Rose...just as
Rose gets pranked by John and ends up dumping a bucket of Gushers on her head.

-John equips his rocketpack, grabs Mutini the kitten, and blasts off.
-Rose adopts Casey Viceroy Bubbles von Salamancer the salamander.

-Back on Derse. Dream Cal unfortunately did not fall to his death and landed safely on Bro’s(?)
rocketboard.
-The Authority Regulator sees this from below and is convinced that something illegal is
happening. AR follows Cal to a transportalizer and they both go through.

-John explores the Land of Light and Rain and comes across the ruins that Mom and Maplehoof
went through.
-Inside, he gets to test out his new hammer on the enemies. It has some time powers and can
freeze enemies in time momentarily after striking them.
-John and Mutini head through the transportalizer as well.
Act 4 Part 9
Pages 1767 to 1819

(original comment)

-The transportalizer takes John to one of the meteor labs in the Veil. Mom, Dad, and Grandpa
are not there, but they left behind the items they brought with them.
-It appears to be one of those labs carcinoGeneticist mentioned that are used to genetically
engineer soldiers for the two armies.
-Oddly, there is an outfit here for John: the Junior Ectobiologist’s Lab Suit. John puts it on.
-There is a terminal like the ones the exiles use.
-The Authority Regulator is currently riding Bro’s rocketboard around the meteor.

-Meanwhile on Prospit. The Parcel Mistress is about to head for the battlefield in search of the
White King.
-On her way to a shuttle, PM is pickpocketed by the Courtyard Droll, who steals the Queen’s
ring from her. PM boards the shuttle and takes off without realizing.
-CD messages the Draconian Dignitary to inform him of his success. DD says the Hegemonic
Brute is tracking the White King on the battlefield.
-Also if you couldn’t tell, these guys are (kind of) the Midnight Crew: Clubs Deuce, Diamonds
Droogs, and Hearts Boxcars. Jack Noir is also known as the Sovereign Slayer (Spades Slick)
after killing the Black Queen.
-Dream Jade dropkicks CD out of nowhere and snags the ring. Unfortunately PM is already too
far away for Jade to give the ring back.
-Jade puts the ring on for safekeeping. It doesn’t give her the prototyping transformations
though, since that doesn’t work on humans.

-Meanwhile on the battlefield. We get a quick sequence showing how the battlefield at the
center of Skaia evolves with each new prototyping: No prototyping = eternal stalemate between
two kings; 1 prototyping = a more traditional-looking chessboard; 2 prototypings = a chess cube
that now has some grass and bodies of water; 3 prototypings = a full-on chess planet. When
Jade enters she will bring a fourth prototyping and the battlefield will evolve once more.
-The armies of Derse and Prospit march towards each other. The numerous pawns collide,
while the larger pieces such as knights are scattered throughout.
-The Warweary Villein’s simple life of farming is disrupted when the war sets his home and land
on fire. WV’s hatred for kings is ignited.
-Speaking of kings, the Black King commands his army on the battlefield. In one hand is a staff
that has the same prototyping abilities as the Queens’ rings, and also appears to be topped with
Skaia itself, creating a weird nested spacial loop of sorts.
-The shadow of Jack Noir flying overhead is cast on the battlefield.
-WV makes an impassioned plea to the two fighting armies. Many of the soldiers from both
sides desert their posts and unite under WV’s banner.
-WV leads his army towards the Black Castle.

-Meanwhile, PM has arrived on the battlefield and realizes she has lost the ring. The White King
gives her his staff anyway. The Hegemonic Brute watches this in secret and calls someone on
his radio.

-WV and his army confront the Black King. Suddenly Jack Noir swoops down, destroying the
Black King’s staff before beheading him.

-HB assaults PM, causing her to drop the White King’s staff down a cliff, where it comes to rest
next to a river.

-Back to Rose. It’s her turn to create a whole bunch of stuff with the alchemiter. The most
important thing is that she makes a pair of needlewands, which basically give her magic powers.
Then she combines that with her Grimoire for Summoning the Zoologically Dubious, which gives
her dark magic powers.
-She tests out her new weapons by utterly annihilating the nearby enemies.

-Meanwhile, Jade is still asleep so she works on building up Dave’s house using her dreambot.
-Also, see that one Prospitian person standing behind Dream Jade and holding a bucket of
paint? That’s Ms. Paint. You know, from MS Paint Adventures? ;)
-(If you don’t get the joke, the Homestuck website used to be called MS Paint Adventures. One
of Andrew Hussie’s friends asked when Ms. Paint was going to make her appearance, since the
website was named after her.)
-Jade has been asleep for a while, but she’s reluctant to wake up because she knows Dream
John is supposed to wake up soon and she’d like to greet him.
Act 4 Part 10
Pages 1820 to 1869

(original comment)

-Dave starts his alchemizing spree. He makes a bunch of useless junk, plus some cool new
outfits and weapons.
-Dave then makes some copies of Rose’s journals that he got the code for in Act 4 Part 7.
-The first journal, MEOW, is just full of MEOW letters. Dave dismisses it as nonsense, but it’s
actually the genetic code that Rose has scrawled everywhere.
-The second journal, Complacency of the Learned, is a very dense and wordy story that Rose
wrote about wizards.
-Dave decides to try and read it later. He uses his juice-stained copies of the Sburb beta as a
bookmark.
-Dave goes to check on Rose, who is currently burning the original MEOW journal. Apparently
“the gods from the Furthest Ring” asked her to.
-Dave asks why she wrote a story about wizards if she hates them so much. Rose clarifies that
she actually does like wizards, she just hates how her mother pretends to like them in order to
bother Rose. Dave calls out that bullshit. He says Rose’s Mom probably likes wizards just as
much as Rose does, and they could’ve been bonding about it this whole time if Rose hadn’t
turned it into some sort of passive-aggressive war.
-Back on the topic of the gods from the Furthest Ring, Rose says she heard them talking to her
when she was asleep and heading to Dream Dave’s tower. Dave says that he’s never heard
them before. Rose points out that he’s often listening to music and distracting himself. She
suggests that he looks into the sky without his shades.
-Davesprite asks Rose why she’s burning the MEOW journal; she didn’t do that in the doomed
future. Rose explains that while the journal wasn’t important in that future, it is apparently
relevant now.
-Rose does remember some things about that doomed future.

-Meanwhile, the Draconian Dignitary has snuck into Dave’s room.

-Dave and Davesprite have a conversation consisting entirely of tempting fate.

-Dave heads back inside to burn the MEOW journal, only to discover that it has been stolen (by
DD). He considers going back in time to stop the thief, but sees his own bloody corpse on the
other side of the room and decides that probably isn’t a good idea.
-Dave throws his alternate timeline corpse out the window. DD stands unnoticed on the support
beams below.

-Back to John in the meteor lab. He starts pressing buttons on the terminal.
-The screen shows John’s neighborhood in the past, specifically on December 1st, 1995 (Jade’s
birthday). There is a Betty Crocker factory nearby that John does not remember. Dad and
Nanna are strolling down the sidewalk nearby. The screen is targeted on Nanna.
-A meteor suddenly crashes into the factory, destroying it. According to the narration, the factory
was owned by Jade’s Grandpa.
Act 4 Part 11
Pages 1870 to 1908

(original comment)

-John continues pressing buttons without knowing what they do.

-Pressing the blue button creates a paradox ghost imprint of Nanna. We were first introduced to
this concept back in Act 2 Part 15. It’s been a while since then so I’ll give you a refresher: if you
try to appearify something that would cause a time paradox (in this case Nanna, since she’s
supposed to be on Earth and not in this meteor lab), you instead get a bunch of green goo in the
shape of that thing. As we saw in Act 3 Part 4 (when Rose tried to appearify Jaspers), this goo
also contains the same DNA as the targeted object.
-Nanna’s ghost goo is sucked up by the machine and placed into one of four large tubes.
-John switches the terminal’s view to focus on Jade’s island in the past, specifically December
3rd, 1995 (Dave’s birthday).
-John zooms in. The view is targeted on Jade’s Grandpa. Baby Jade is there as well, holding
onto the yarn-repaired bunny that John just got as a birthday present from Rose.
-Apparently Grandpa “gained” baby Jade two days ago, after his factory was destroyed by a
meteor.
-Meanwhile, a meteor is headed for Texas.
-John appearifies Grandpa’s ghost slime. It is also sucked into a tube.
-John switches to another view. It shows a city in Texas on December 4th, 1995 (Rose’s
birthday).
-Bro stands over a crater where a meteor struck the day before. He’s holding a tiny baby-sized
version of his own shades.
-Meanwhile, a meteor is headed for New York.
-John appearifies Bro’s ghost slime and it is sucked into a tube.
-John changes the view once more. This time we’re seeing John’s neighborhood again, but four
months later, on April 13th, 1996 (John’s birthday).
-Rose’s Mom stands on the sidewalk holding baby Rose. Apparently she’s been hired by Jade’s
Grandpa to investigate the meteor strikes.
-John’s Dad stands outside his joke shop, Prankster’s Gambit, while Nanna is still inside. A
meteor is headed straight for the shop.
-The meteor strikes the shop, killing Nanna, but at least Dad “gains” John in the process.
-Mom flees the scene, leaving her scarf behind. Dad picks it up.
-The monitor is still tracking Mom, though. Baby Rose is holding the oil-soaked bunny that John
received from Dave for his birthday.
-John appearifies Mom’s ghost slime and it is sucked into the final tube.

-Okay I’m gonna check in with you guys just so we’re all clear on this. So, each of our four main
kids somehow arrived on Earth via meteors when they were babies. From oldest to youngest:
Jade (December 1st, 1995), Dave (December 3rd, 1995), Rose (December 4th, 1995), and
John (April 13, 1996).
-This next part can be a bit confusing, so here we go:

-Now that all four tubes are filled, the machine analyzes the DNA of each slime.
-The machine creates four paradox clones. Say hello to Baby Nanna, Baby Grandpa, Baby
Mom, and Baby Bro!
-John pushes the final button. The ghost slimes of Nanna and Grandpa are mixed, and the
ghost slimes of Mom and Bro are mixed.
-Four more paradox clones are created: Baby John, Baby Jade, Baby Rose, and Baby Dave.

-Hi, I’m checking in again. Basically: the DNA of Nanna and Grandpa combined to make John
and Jade. So John and Jade are siblings, and Nanna and Grandpa are technically their parents.
-Likewise, the DNA of Mom and Bro combined to make Rose and Dave. So Rose and Dave are
siblings, and Mom and Bro are technically their parents.
-Also I’ve seen this question come up a lot: where does John’s Dad fit into this? Answer: Dad is
Nanna’s biological son. So technically, John and Dad are half-brothers. Alright back to the show.

-Meanwhile in the Veil nearby. Grandpa is piloting a ship through the meteors. Specifically, he’s
shipping Mom and Dad who have finally reunited. Dad returns Mom’s scarf to her. The pair of
them hold hands and gaze into the void of space.

-carcinoGeneticist messages John to start explaining a lot of what I already explained to you
guys. Looks like I jumped the gun on that. Sorry, CG.
-Apparently in the future conversation that CG just came from, he was saying something about
the Ultimate Riddle, whatever that is.
-CG clarifies that while the babies are indeed clones, they are not copies. They are literally the
babies that grow up to be Nanna, Grandpa, John, Jade, etc. That’s what paradox clone means:
a clone that grows up to become the exact individual it was cloned from via time travel.
-CG says that the Ultimate Riddle is basically what just happened here: John was destined to
play the game so that he could get to this point and ultimately create himself, his friends, and
their guardians.
-But then CG says there’s still more to the Ultimate Riddle, which he has already talked to John
about/John will talk to him about in the future.
-CG says he went through the same thing as John: he created paradox clones of all 12 trolls
and it kind of freaked him out.
-While this is happening, the babies start grabbing certain objects. Baby John grabs the copy of
Colonel Sassacre’s that ultimately kills Nanna. Baby Nanna grabs Dad’s oil-stained hat. Baby
Bro grabs Dream Cal (of course he does). Baby Grandpa grabs a pair of flintlock pistols. Baby
Dave has somehow climbed on top of Maplehoof the pony.
-John asks CG if the Reckoning has to do with how the babies travel back in time. CG says that
when the Reckoning starts the babies all get transported onto separate meteors. These meteors
get redirected by Skaia’s defense portals, which is how they end up on Earth.
Act 4 Part 12
Pages 1909 to 1939

(original comment)

-While flying around the Veil on Bro’s rocketboard, the Authority Regulator discovers a frog
temple on one of the meteors. AR obviously doesn’t know this yet, but we can tell that it’s the
same frog temple that ends up on Jade’s island and is later occupied by AR in the exiles’ future.
-The flower time capsule is waiting for something to be put into it.
-AR comes across a terminal that is set on the date April 21, 1910. In an old fashioned room sits
Baby Nanna. Turns out she was adopted eight days ago by Colonel Sassacre, who is
apparently married to Betty Crocker.
-Suddenly another meteor strikes outside. It’s Baby Grandpa! Unfortunately he is dual wielding
pistols and ends up shooting Sassacre dead. But it’s okay, because his dog Halley is still alive.
-The terminal is locked onto Halley.
-Baby Grandpa has trouble pronouncing the dog’s name. He says it like “Harley”.
-Thirteen years later, Teen Grandpa and Halley go off adventuring together, leaving Teen Nanna
behind to grow up under the supervision of Betty Crocker.
-The elevator in the frog temple suddenly activates and AR goes to hide.
-It’s the Draconian Dignitary, carrying Rose’s journals that he stole from Dave back in Act 4 Part
10.
-DD only needs the MEOW journal, so he discards Complacency of the Learned and the copies
of Dave’s beta.
-The beta copies fall into the flower time capsule, which activates and sets the wait time for 413
million years. This is how Jade got the discs in Act 3 Part 8.

-Back to John. carcinoGeneticist lets him know that the Reckoning will begin in a few minutes.
Normally this is the signal for the players to get serious and go take down the Black King and
Queen before Skaia is destroyed, but the kids’ Reckoning is happening too early and there’s no
way they can win in time.
-John asks what happens in the kids’ session of the game that ruins everything for them. CG’s
answer: Jack Noir.
-CG says that the trolls had a Jack Noir in their session too, but their Jack was an ally who
helped them dethrone the Black Queen. Because of that, the trolls only had to fight the Black
King instead of both royals.
-John is confused about there being two Jack Noirs. CG explains it via a video game metaphor.
Basically, each game session has its own copies of the same characters which are technically
the same people but may take different actions under different circumstances which can lead to
wildly different outcomes.
-John asks what the kids did/will do differently that lead to their Jack taking control. CG isn’t
entirely sure; it’s still under investigation.
-John suddenly has the brilliant idea to reenact his favorite scene from Con Air. Cue wonderfully
awkward singing by Michael Guy Bowman.

END OF ACT 4

-No, not really, Hussie’s just trolling us. But before we carry on with Act 4, we need to talk about
something:

BUNNY TIMELINE

-Bunny timeline is a thing now, and like many seemingly inconsequential things in Homestuck
it’s actually pretty important. Here’s what we’ve got so far:
-Bunny is used as a prop in the movie Con Air.
-Dave buys Bunny and gives it to John for his 13th birthday.
-While exploring the Land of Wind and Shade, John drops Bunny in the oil but manages to fish it
back out.
-John gives the oil-soaked Bunny to Baby Rose while reenacting Con Air.
-Baby Rose arrives on Earth via meteor, carrying Oil Bunny.
-Rose grows up with Oil Bunny, before eventually repairing it with the knitting set John gave her
for her birthday. She gives Repaired Bunny to John for his 13th birthday.
-John gives Repaired Bunny to Baby Jade while reenacting Con Air.
-Baby Jade arrives on Earth via meteor, carrying Repaired Bunny.
-We haven’t seen what happens to Bunny after this, but it’s generally safe to assume that if you
see a stuffed bunny in Homestuck, it’s all the same bunny somehow thanks to time
shenanigans. Anyway, on with the show.

-Back to Dave. He’s staring at the blood on his hands after throwing his own murdered corpse
out the window in Act 4 Part 10.
-gallowsCalibrator messages Dave and sends him a bunch of bad photo edits. Dave responds
in his characteristic style. Their senses of humor mesh in a really nice way.

-Meanwhile, adiosToreador messages Jade (who is still asleep and waiting for Dream John to
wake up). They seem to be on friendly terms. AT reminds her that CG wants Jade to message
him once her dreambot blows up.
-Jade asks if it’s really going to blow up. AT tries to scroll ahead on the timeline to find out, but
he can’t tell because apparently there are going to be a lot of explosions in the future. Instead
he asks Future Jade, who confirms that it will blow up and that she talked to CG.
-Jade asks why AT is the only troll who ever messages her when she’s asleep. AT says the only
time he ever enjoyed playing the game was when he was sleeping, but he can’t do that now
because all of the trolls’ dream selves are dead. Jade is surprised to hear that dream selves can
die.

-Back on the trolls’ meteor, AT wistfully daydreams about flying around Prospit.
-Back to Rose. She is absolutely demolishing the Underlings in her land.
-grimAuxiliatrix messages her and asks if they’re friends yet. Rose is upset with her (presumably
after reading the conversation that John-pretending-to-be-Rose and GA had back in Act 4 Part
8) and coldly brushes her off.

-Back to Dave, who is also wrecking his Underlings. GC is continuing to send him bad edits
which Dave admits to enjoying.
-Dave asks if GC has seen his Bro anywhere. She hasn’t and says it’s too bad Bro isn’t around
to “bail [Dave] out” again like when Dave entered the game (which we still haven’t seen yet).
-GC offers to help Dave out so that he doesn’t end up getting a bunch of
alternate-timeline-Daves killed. Dave accepts.
-GC tells him that once he goes through the gate he’ll meet some crocodiles (which are Dave’s
consorts, like how John had salamanders). The crocodiles will try to eat him.
Act 4 Part 13
Pages 1940 to 1988

(original comment)

-We’re jumping right into the action with [S] Descend! A lot happens in this one.
-First off, let’s go back in time a bit to when Dave was still trying to enter the game. He’s still
trying to climb up and retrieve his entry item (the egg), but his sprite pecks him right off the
tower.
-Meanwhile, Bro is RIDING the meteor headed for their apartment. He slices it in half, and the
two halves split apart to land on either side of the building, buying them a few precious seconds.
-Dave lands safely on Bro’s rocketboard as the egg hatches and he enters the game.

-Back to present times. Jade has built up Dave’s house pretty high and he is headed for his first
game.

-On Grandpa’s ship sailing through the Medium, Mom and Dad stand at the bow ready for
battle. Mom is armed with a rifle and Dad is armed with a cake. The ship approaches Skaia.

-On Skaia’s battlefield, Jack Noir slaughters everyone in the Warweary Villein’s makeshift army,
leaving WV as the sole survivor.
-Jack Noir uses the Black Queen’s ring to send out a bunch of red energy tendrils that spike up
all around the battlefield, causing massive damage. (This attack is called Red Miles, by the way.
They haven’t said the name yet, but I don’t consider that a spoiler.)

-Back to John in the meteor lab. The Reckoning begins in just a few seconds. All eight babies
are suddenly transported to their respective meteors, soon to be sent to Earth.

-The Courtyard Droll arrives on the battlefield and gives the White King’s scepter to Jack Noir.
Jack uses the scepter to begin the Reckoning, sending the Veil’s meteors hurtling towards
Skaia.

-Back to the meteor lab where the Authority Regulator is hiding from the Draconian Dignitary.
DD uses the MEOW code, combined with paradox ghost slime from the dog Halley, to create
Jade’s dog Becquerel.
-Bec’s energy starts destroying the lab. AR is terrified. (Remember how he was scared of the
Bec-head symbol back in Act 4 Part 1?)

-Meanwhile, Jade is STILL asleep. Dream Jade is happily flying around Prospit’s moon and her
dreambot is doing the same on Earth.
-The White Queen and some of her subjects (including Ms. Paint) board a ship and flee Prospit.
-Dream Jade sees a silhouette approaching...a very Jack Noir-shaped silhouette.
-Jack Noir uses the Red Miles to assault Prospit. Pretty much every remaining Prospitian dies
and the planet is almost totally destroyed.
-Jack slices the chain connecting Prospit’s moon to the main planet. The moon goes hurtling
towards Skaia.

-Jack flies down to the Land of Heat and Clockwork. Dave’s Bro stands on a record-shaped
platform, waiting for him. The two of them engage in a quick battle.
-Bro stabs his sword down into the record platform, creating cracks through which bright yellow
light begins to emerge.

-Quick Squiddles intermission. (They totally murder Skipper Plumbthroat, by the way.)

-The flaming ruins of Prospit’s moon are raining down upon the battlefield.
-Dream John has been knocked from his tower, but still has not woken up. Dream Jade rushes
over and tries to wake him up, but fails.
-Realizing she can’t wake him up in time, Dream Jade tosses Dream John as far as she can,
before the ruined moon impacts Skaia.
-Dream Jade is killed. Jade’s dreambot blows up. The resulting explosion knocks the real Jade
out of the tower.
-Dream John has finally woken up. He sees the massive crater that the moon left on Skaia.

-The Reckoning is in full force. The meteors speed toward Skaia. Skaia activates its defense
portals, redirecting the meteors towards Earth. The eight babies are transported to Earth.

-Rose destroys her first gate.

-Dave passes through his first gate.

-An apocalyptic-sized meteor is slowly approaching Jade’s island as Bec watches.

-And that’s [S] Descend, the final Flash page of Act 4! Posted on day 413 of Homestuck’s
publication. (4/13/2009 to 5/31/2010)

END OF ACT 4

-Rose posts her final update to her GameFAQs walkthrough. She says she’s done playing by
the rules. Magic is real, and she used a spell to rip her walkthrough from the remnants of Earth’s
Internet and send it out into the Furthest Ring. Perhaps other species who play the game may
find it useful.

-Several hours later, WV has been exiled to earth through a series of events that we have not
seen yet. He has wrapped himself in John’s bedsheets.
-WV remembers the death and devastation on the battlefield. John’s bedsheets float down from
the destruction of Prospit.

-Dream John finds the corpse of Dream Jade. He takes the White Queen’s ring from her and
puts it on.
-John sees a vision in the clouds, the same way Jade did. He sees where he needs to go next.

-Hours in the future, PM had also arrived on Earth and wrapped herself in the remnants of one
of Prospit’s flags.
-PM remembers. She beheaded the Hegemonic Brute and stole his radio to contact Jack Noir.
PM fulfills their deal: she trades the crowns of the White King and Queen for the green box.
Jack honors the deal and CD gives the package to PM.

-Dream John arrives at his destination. A very upset PM shoves the green box into his arms.
The mail has been delivered.
-John finally opens the green box from Jade.
-The first thing he finds inside is a letter from Jade’s penpal, who we don’t know yet. He writes in
a darker green than Jade. He likes movies, especially Weekend at Bernie’s, and he heard John
likes movies too. Penpal tells John that he worked with Jade on this present for him and that he
should listen to Jade because she knows what’s best.
-Penpal included a second page listing the contents of the box. What we can read is: Royal
Deringer, Quills of Echidna, and the top half of a third phrase. It’s not really a spoiler so I’ll just
say it: Ahab’s Crosshairs. There’s probably more stuff on the list but we can’t see it right now.
-The second thing in the box is a letter from Jade. She hopes the present cheers him up,
because she saw a vision in the clouds where he looked very sad when he was reading it. She
explains about Prospit and dream selves and the cloud visions. She says that her present to
John is very important and he’s getting it exactly when he needs it most. She says that she
looks forward to flying around Prospit with John. John sheds a single tear.
-Suddenly Jack Noir is here and pointing his sword at John. He wants the Queen’s ring.
-The actual present from the green box makes its appearance. It’s a robotic stuffed rabbit
wielding a hammer, a broken sword, a pair of needles, and a rifle.
-Obligatory “John got the same bunny as a present three times on the same day” joke.

-Hours in the future, AR has also arrived on Earth. He wraps himself in caution tape.
-He remembers fleeing from the frog temple on the rocketboard and arriving at the lab where
John created all the babies. John is asleep inside (because he’s currently being Dream John).
-The Reckoning sends the meteor lab hurtling towards Skaia. AR uses caution tape to strap
John to the rocketboard to allow him to escape. AR is sent through the portal along with the
meteor and ends up on Earth.

-Back on the battlefield. Jack retreats, not wanting to challenge the Robo Bunny.
-Grandpa’s ship lands on the battlefield. Grandpa picks up Dream Jade’s corpse. Mom and Dad
stay behind on the battlefield as the ship takes off once more.
-Grandpa mourns Dream Jade’s death...after stuffing and mounting her corpse.

-The White Queen’s escape ship heads through one of Skaia’s defense portals. She arrives on
Earth and dons herself in plain white robes. She leaves behind all of her subjects and journeys
on alone.
-She eventually finds the egg capsule and puts it back together.

-Back to present times (for the exiles at least). WV, PM, AR, and WQ are all together. WV
suddenly reveals that he has had the White Queen’s ring this whole time (at this point we don’t
know how he acquired it). Serenity the firefly is very surprised by this.

-In an unused room in Jade’s house, the taxidermied bodies of Dream Jade and Halley the dog
sit in front of a fourth wall (the same fourth wall that was stolen from Jack Noir’s office).

-On the other side of the fourth wall, Andrew Hussie is furiously typing away. He recaps
everything that’s happened since the first recap. Once again I strongly encourage everyone to
check it out. You can watch the Let’s Read version here: https://youtu.be/zsA0ODBaTTc or you
can read it for yourself here: https://www.homestuck.com/story/1988

-And then Act 5 started.

Act 5

Act 5 (Act 1)

Act 5 (Act 1) Part 1

Pages 1989 to 2028

(original comment)

-To start off Act 5, we’re going to a different place at a different time. Specifically, we’re going to
the trolls’ planet before they started the game.
-The planet’s name is Alternia (although the “player” attempts to name it “Turdodor Fuckball”
before just typing in “Trollplanet”)
-Alternia is a gray planet with two moons: one green and one pink, which also has its own
moon.
-Welcome to Hivebent!

-We are formally introduced to carcinoGeneticist. His name is Karkat Vantas and he’s 6 solar
sweeps old (the equivalent of 13 Earth years).
-Karkat likes bad romcoms and programming computers, but he’s not that great at it. His
weapon is a sickle.
-Instead of beds, trolls have recuperacoons full of sopor slime which helps them to sleep without
being plagued by nightmares.
-Karkat has a book on the ~ATH programming language (pronounced “til death”).
-Karkat steps outside onto a balcony. He designed his own hive (house) when he was young, as
all trolls do. After the narrator parodies Act 1 of Homestuck for a bit, Karkat heads back inside.
-Karkat is messaged by a troll we haven’t heard from before: terminallyCapricious.
-TC and Karkat are apparently best friends. TC really likes to talk about things that are
“miracles”...which is pretty much everything according to him.
-TC says he heard that “something big” is going down and he wanted to know what it was.
Karkat says he isn’t sure exactly, but it’s something that twinArmageddons is working on.
-Karkat mentions TC’s “clown religion”.

-Suddenly we are TC. He has creepy clown posters on the wall, bottles of Faygo everywhere, a
unicycle, and bicycle horns all over the floor. He’s the Capricorn troll, by the way.
-TC’s name is Gamzee Makara. He’s basically a stoner juggalo.
-Gamzee likes to bake and eat pies made of sopor slime...which isn’t a healthy thing to do. It
messes with a troll’s mind.
-Gamzee lives on the beach, but apparently there are hostile seadwellers in the ocean so it’s not
safe to be out there for too long.
-Gamzee’s sylladex launches a bottle of Faygo out into the ocean.
-Gamzee is messaged by gallowsCalibrator. She asks him to play a game with her, which is
apparently the “something big” that’s going down.
-Gamzee asks if they can play later; he’s waiting for his custodian (guardian) to get home. He
suggests that GC play with Karkat, but she doesn’t want to deal with his complaining.

-Back to Karkat. We get some more info on the ~ATH programming language. It can only be
used to create programs that execute once the life of something ends. The “life” can be that of a
person, an object, or even a universe.
-We also see the full list of troll usernames here but I’m not gonna write them all out. We’ll meet
everyone soon enough.
-twinArmageddons made a ~ATH program that causes the user’s computer to explode and
places a curse on the user and everyone they meet. Homestuck spoils itself by telling us that
Karkat will stupidly run this program later.
-Speaking of TA, he’s messaging Karkat now. He wants Karkat to play a game with some of
their friends. Apparently TA adapted the game from some technology that someone called “AA”
found in some ruins. (Going by the list of usernames from earlier, AA is probably
apocalypseArisen.)
-TA and Karkat get into a heated argument that’s a weird combination of insulting each other
and self-hatred.
-TA says the trolls will be playing on two teams: the Red Team and the Blue Team. Karkat’s on
the Red Team and TA is the leader of Blue Team.
-Karkat starts thinking about which teammates he’ll pick when TA clarifies that Karkat isn’t the
Red Team Leader: GC is. Karkat is characteristically angry about this.
-The two of them start up their argument again. They’re still friends though, they argue like this a
lot.
-Karkat ends the conversation. He hears a growling noise from downstairs.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 2
Pages 2029 to 2067

(original comment)

-We are formally introduced to gallowsCalibrator. Her name is Terezi Pyrope. She really likes
dragons and pretending to be a lawyer (specifically a prosecutor). She’s blind, but she can
somehow smell and taste colors so it’s not much of a disadvantage for her.
-Terezi spends some time “interrogating” one of her scalemate plushies about a crime he
committed. Terezi decides his fate with a coin flip...but she’s blind so the result doesn’t matter.
She wraps a noose around the scalemate’s neck and throws him out the window. She does this
a lot, if the numerous other hanging scalemates are any indication.
-Terezi lives in a treehouse.
-Terezi’s weapon is her walking cane.
-Terezi messages a new troll: arsenicCatnip. The two of them roleplay for a bit, with Terezi
playing a dragon and AC playing a cat-like creature with two mouths.
-Terezi asks if AC wants to play a game. She says it sounds like fun but she needs to get
permission from “him” first. Terezi thinks that’s stupid and that AC shouldn’t be afraid of anyone.
-Terezi goes to find more players while AC goes to ask permission to play.
-Terezi has the conversation with Gamzee that we saw in the last video.
-Karkat suddenly messages Terezi. She isn’t very excited to have this conversation. Karkat
insists that he’s the leader of the Red Team. Terezi doesn’t really care who the leader is, she
just wants to play the game.
-Terezi tells him that as the leader he needs to run the client application for the game, while
Terezi will be his lowly server player doing menial chores for him.
-Also apparently Terezi doesn’t have a “lusus”...at least not yet.

-Fast forward to when the trolls have started the game. Karkat is the Knight of Blood, and he is
in the Land of Pulse and Haze.
-It is immediately obvious that Terezi has had way too much fun screwing around with Karkat’s
hive. The architecture is all over the place and it’s splashed with random colors everywhere.
-Also she’s following the tradition of female server players ripping the toilets from the houses of
their respective client players. Karkat is naturally quite upset over this.
-Karkat makes a comment about Terezi’s “blue blooded vernacular”. In response, Terezi asks
what color Karkat’s blood is. He refuses to answer.
-Karkat asks Terezi when he gets to connect as a server player. Terezi says he’ll be the last one;
the players have to chain their connections together so that everyone gets in.

-Back to the past...present? A time when they haven’t started the game yet.
-We see a spooky white-eyed girl with ragged clothes and a dark red Aries symbol.
-She has some sort of telekinetic powers, which she uses to rip the head off a frog temple.
-Somewhere else, a short time later. That Faygo bottle that Gamzee launched into the ocean in
the last video has sunk to the ocean floor. Someone wearing a ring with an Aquarius symbol on
it picks up the bottle.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 3
Pages 2068 to 2121

(original comment)

-Back to Karkat before he entered the game. Turns out the growling noise downstairs was
coming from his lusus.
-We now get a proper explanation for what exactly a lusus is. Basically, a lusus is an animal that
adopts a baby troll and raises it throughout its childhood. A lusus is probably the closest thing a
troll has to a parent. Likewise, the young troll helps to care for their lusus, so it’s kind of like a
pet as well. It’s a weird symbiotic relationship kind of thing. Most trolls have a lusus; Terezi is the
notable exception right now.
-We also get some info about the troll life cycle. It’s very insect-like. There’s a Mother Grub
underground that receives genetic material from adult trolls. The Mother Grub then lays
hundreds of eggs all at once, and those eggs hatch into baby troll larvae. They eventually spin
cocoons, pupate, and grow arms and legs. If they’ve managed to survive that long they’ll be
adopted by a lusus and move up to live on the surface. There are pretty much no adult trolls left
on Alternia; as soon as they reach adulthood they leave the planet to join the trolls’ space
armada.
-Anyway, Karkat gives his lusus some food to calm him down.

-Time to be someone else! Let’s meet twinArmagedd—actually no, he doesn’t want to talk to us
right now.

-Instead let’s meet this cute cat girl—wait no, TA changed his mind.

-We are formally introduced to twinArmageddons, aka Sollux Captor. He has some mood
swings sometimes. He’s also very good with computers. He’s the one who developed the game
the trolls are about to play; he thinks it is their salvation. He also has some pretty sweet psychic
powers.
-Sollux messages Terezi and asks her if she wants to be the leader for one of the teams. She
happily accepts. (So this is all taking place maybe an hour or two in the past.)
-Terezi asks how the game will help them save the world. Sollux says he’s not sure, he just saw
in his visions that the world will end, all the trolls will die, and the only way to save them is to
play the game.
-Sollux also says that they’re all going to die, but especially himself. He’ll go blind before he dies
though.
-He says apocalypseArisen can confirm all of this.

-Speaking of AA, she’s still busy destroying the frog ruins. She messages Sollux to ask if he set
up the teams.
-AA seems very...empty. She doesn’t show a lot of emotion. She also hears voices that tell her
what will happen in the future.
-AA tells Sollux that playing the game will not save the world. It will actually cause the
destruction of their world. Sollux immediately nopes out, but AA tells him that playing the game
is inevitable.
-Nevertheless, Sollux goes off to tell Terezi not to play. She tells him Karkat’s the leader now, so
Sollux tries to convince Karkat not to play instead but Karkat thinks he’s just trying to sabotage
the enemy team. In fact, Karkat and Terezi have already started playing.
-Sollux and Karkat argue for a while. Eventually Karkat starts insulting Sollux’s programming
skills and says his viruses probably don’t even do anything.
-Karkat runs Sollux’s curse program. Karkat’s computer explodes, killing his lusus. The resulting
curse would also kill the lusus of every other troll. The good news is that the dead lusii will all be
used to prototype the kernelsprites, allowing the trolls to reunite with their guardians and talk to
them for the first time. The bad news is that the Underlings and royalty in the game would
receive the prototypings of all the lusii and basically become giant monsters.

-Sollux regrets ever sending Karkat that virus. He goes to delete every virus on his computer.
-There is one virus that he didn’t write, though. He got it from a distant server located
somewhere in space. It’s a very short program. In simple terms, this is what the code means:
“When the universe dies, begin the billiard ball program”. Sollux has no idea what this does. He
deletes it, although it still exists out there on the distant server.

-We get to see the server floating out there somewhere. The narrator explains that the program
will summon an indestructible demon capable of time travel. The demon will use its time
traveling ability to set the stage for its own summoning. In fact, the demon is already here.

-Sollux hears his lusus growling on the roof and heads upstairs to check on him.
apocalypseArisen has arrived at Sollux’s hive.

-We get a brief glimpse of grimAuxiliatrix, holding a chainsaw and standing on top of her giant
insectoid lusus.
-Also her hive looks a lot like Jade’s house??? It even has the frog temple nearby.

-Now we get to meet adiosToreador. His name is Tavros Nitram. He loves fairy tales, fantasy,
and role-playing games. He had an “accident” a while ago that led to him requiring the use of a
wheelchair. He’s fascinated by the idea of flying. Not because of the wheelchair though, he just
thinks being able to fly would be neat.
-Way in the future, Tavros has been given a pair of robot legs by one of the other trolls who we
haven’t met yet. grimAuxiliatrix was the one who removed his organic legs. With her chainsaw.
Tavros’s blood is brown, by the way.
-Back to present times. Tavros is getting messages from Gamzee and a troll we haven’t met yet.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 4
Pages 2122 to 2166

(original comment)

-Tavros is messaged by a new troll: arachnidsGrip. She is very rude and insulting towards him
and barely gives him a chance to respond before she leaves to get the Blue Team started in the
game.
-Tavros and Gamzee have a much more friendly conversation. They’re both on the Red Team.
Here’s the connection order so far: Karkat, Terezi, Gamzee, then Tavros, which leaves two more
players on the Red Team who we don’t know yet.
-Tavros and Gamzee rap together for a bit.

-Back to Terezi. The woods are on fire because of meteors. She comes across a giant egg
containing a baby dragon: her lusus. The dragon was capable of telepathically communicating
with Terezi in her sleep, and because this particular species of dragon is blind until maturity, the
dragon was able to help Terezi adapt after she became blind.
-Also Terezi is a Prospit dreamer.
-Terezi’s dragon lusus hatches and is immediately struck and killed by a meteor. She would later
be prototyped into the kernelsprite like the other lusii.

-Back to apocalypseArisen. We get our formal introduction to her. Her name is Aradia Megido.
She used to have interests, such as archaeology, but not anymore. She has been guided by the
voices of the dead for much of her life. She was once the victim of an “accident” while
role-playing, much like Tavros was. This also killed her lusus.
-Aradia is the one who retrieved certain “data” from the frog ruins and gave it to Sollux, who
adapted it into the trolls’ version of Sburb (which he calls Sgrub).
-Aradia gets a message from grimAuxiliatrix. GA is upset about Aradia’s actions and her part in
the upcoming apocalypse. Despite that, GA still offers to help Aradia if she needs it.
-Aradia messages Sollux. We saw this conversation in the last video. Aradia then heads over to
Sollux’s hive where she levitates his lusus.
-Aradia gets messaged by arachnidsGrip. She continues to be very insulting towards everyone.
Apparently AG and Aradia made a deal that they would be the co-leaders of the Blue Team.
-AG has a present that she wants to send Aradia once they enter the game, although she
seems more excited about receiving gratitude from Aradia than from actually giving her the gift.
-AG implies that she had something to do with Aradia and Tavros’s role-playing “accidents”.

-We try to be AG but fail. We do get our first look at her though. She has glasses that are
blacked out on one side like an eye patch, and a robotic arm. She’s the Scorpio troll by the way.
-Sollux messages Aradia to apologize for earlier. She accepts his apology. He says he’ll still play
the game, but Aradia says he can’t yet. This makes him very angry again.
-Sollux also mentions that he has yellow blood. Apparently the trolls have a caste system based
on blood color.
-Aradia tells him to come to the window. She’s outside.
-Aradia uses her powers to put Sollux to sleep.

-Sollux would stay asleep for quite a while. He would be the last person on the team to enter the
game. He wakes up to discovery that he accidentally ingested some of the mind honey. This
causes his powers to go berserk and destroy his hive.

-But let’s ignore all that for now. We are now introduced to arsenicCatnip, real name Nepeta
Leijon. She lives in a cave. Nepeta likes role-playing, but not the dangerous kind. She also likes
to hunt down wild beasts and kill them with her claws and teeth. She likes to paint the walls of
her cave with blood. (Fun fact: the meow song playing during her introduction is called “Walls
Covered in Blood”.)
-Nepeta pets her lusus, a big two-mouthed cat named Pounce de Leon. Pounce will get killed in
a cave-in later.
-Nepeta gets a message from Karkat.
-Quick note here. During this conversation, Karkat calls Nepeta autistic. It’s unclear whether
Nepeta is actually autistic or if Karkat was just using the term as an insult. There’s evidence for
both conclusions and it’s never brought up again, so you’re free to believe whatever you want.
-Back to the story though. Karkat asks Nepeta to join the Red Team, specifically as the one who
connects to Tavros. He’s also invited grimAuxiliatrix to join the Red Team, but she isn’t ready to
connect yet for some mysterious reason.
-Nepeta is eager to play, but she has to talk to “him” about it first. Karkat thinks this “him” is a
bigger asshole than Karkat himself. Nepeta defends him though.
-Speaking of “him”, we finally get to hear from him. His username is centaursTesticle. We can
see his silhouette: he’s the guy who will build Tavros’s robot legs in the future and then creepily
watch in the background while GA chainsaws his original legs off.
-CT is very stern. He’s also classist, which is where we get a bit more info about the trolls’ blood
caste system. According to CT, Nepeta’s blood (olive green) is sort of around the middle: okay,
but not great. CT is of a higher blood caste.
-I’ll just say it now: all of the trolls’ blood colors match their typing colors, with the exception of
Karkat who uses gray text for privacy reasons.
-CT mentions that he has an arrangement with Aradia to be co-leaders of the Blue Team.
Nepeta uses this opportunity to say that she’s going to join the Red Team, but CT immediately
insists that she joins him on the Blue Team and refuses to take no for an answer. He ends the
conversation.
-Nepeta is very frustrated but ultimately gives in. She sadly messages Tavros to let him know
she won’t be joining him. Tavros is very understanding. He mentions that CT had stopped
Nepeta from playing with them in the past, which probably kept her from having an "accident"
like Tavros and Aradia did.
-Tavros thinks fondly about his days of more intense role-playing. He then notices that his
wheelchair has crushed and killed his lusus, Tinkerbull. :(
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 5
Pages 2167 to 2204

(original comment)

-Tavros has a flashback to his days of more extreme role-playing. This was before he lost the
use of his legs.
-Tonight he’s playing FLARP, which is like live-action D&D with VR elements.
-Team Charge (Tavros and Aradia) will be up against Team Scourge (Terezi and arachnidsGrip).
-Speaking of Aradia, she’s a lot more energetic at this point in time.
-Each team has one person being the “clouder” for one of the other team’s players. This is kind
of like being the dungeon master, in the sense that they set up the scenarios for the players to
go through.
-Unfortunately for Tavros, his clouder tonight is AG. She throws a bunch of really strong
monsters at him, which corner him at the edge of a cliff. Tavros is naturally a bit concerned
about this. AG insists that he makes his move.
-Tavros attempts to message Aradia for help but she doesn’t respond. The same with Terezi.
-Tavros tells AG that he’s not going to make a move, because he can’t see any possible good
outcome for himself. AG tells him to roll the dice anyway but he still hesitates.
-AG uses her psychic powers to take control of Tavros’s body. She makes him jump off the cliff
as she laughs in delight.
-Tavros impacts with the coast far below. He can’t feel his legs anymore.

-Back to the present, shortly after Karkat has entered the game. AG messages him. Really this
entire conversation just boils down to AG and Karkat taunting each other. They do talk about her
mind control powers a bit. Apparently she can only use them on “impressionable” people.

-We get a glimpse of centaursTesticle. His room lives up to his username. The narrator is
uncomfortable so we switch to someone else.

-We get a glimpse of the twelfth and final troll. She’s underwater and has a Pisces symbol on
her tiara.

-Back to Aradia. She flies back to the long-abandoned ruins of her hive. She starts the game
with Nepeta acting as her server player.
-Aradia prototypes her kernelsprite with the frog head from the temple ruins. This is critical,
according to the voices of the dead that Aradia hears. Nepeta is very confused as she watches
this.
-Aradia enters the game. She is the Maid of Time, in the Land of Quartz and Melody.
-One of the reasons Nepeta has been confused is because she has been unable to see Aradia
this whole time. Because Aradia is dead and has been a ghost this whole time.
-Aradia prototypes the sprite with herself. Nepeta can see her now and is surprised to learn that
Aradia is dead. She asks how that happened. Aradia says she ignored the advice of a friend
and made some bad choices.

-We are formally introduced to arachnidsGrip. Her name is Vriska Serket. She has a bit of a
gambling addiction. Her lusus is constantly hungry and must be fed young trolls regularly, so
Vriska uses role-playing campaigns to lure new victims in.
-Vriska has a picture she drew of her role-playing character: Marquise Spinneret Mindfang.
-Vriska’s weapon is dicekind. How that works is she rolls the dice and the result of the roll
determines what kind of attack will be executed. Unfortunately Vriska’s had a run of bad luck
lately.
-grimAuxiliatrix is trying to message Vriska, but she doesn’t have time for that right now.
-Someone new messages Vriska. He either does not have a symbol or his symbol is completely
white; either way, it doesn’t show up in the white indicator bubble.
-He does not have a username, it seems. The chat client just shows “????????”.
-He types in white text, requiring the reader to highlight it in order to read it. What a jerk.
-White Text Guy has apparently been manipulating Vriska in order to bring about the events of
this night, as well as certain events in the future. Vriska says she was just going along with it to
humor him, but it’s not very convincing.
-White Text Guy says that while Vriska’s actions will result in a lot of destruction, there will also
be some positive effects as well. However, he’s pretty sure Vriska won’t survive long enough to
see it.
-Vriska finally answers grimAuxiliatrix. GA is asking if Vriska’s lusus has died yet; GA’s just did.
Vriska actually sounds sad to hear this. GA’s lusus was a virgin Mother Grub, which is
apparently pretty rare.
-GA lets her know that all the lusii are dying, probably as a result of the game. She says Karkat
thinks it’s all his fault because he ran that curse code. Vriska believes it, but GA doesn’t. She
thinks these events were inevitable, regardless of Karkat’s curse or Vriska’s bad luck.
-GA attempts to encourage Vriska to clean up her room a little. Vriska gets very defensive over
this.
-GA thinks Vriska is dangerous, which is okay, dangerous people can be very important, they
just need someone to keep an eye on them. GA seems pretty eager to be the troll keeping an
eye on Vriska.
-Vriska is very angry at this point and leaves to go check on her lusus.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 6
Pages 2205 to 2251

(original comment)

-Vriska heads downstairs to check on her lusus, who is a giant spider. She’s still okay and just
as hungry as ever. Vriska is clearly, definitely, 100% relieved about this.
-Also Vriska has built a giant doomsday device that hangs overhead. It looks like that dice thing
from the board game Trouble.
-We see that Vriska has a neighbor of sorts: another hive not too far from her own.

-This is the hive of centaursTesticle, who we are now formally introduced to. His name is Equius
Zahhak. He is very STRONG. He wants to be an archer but he can’t wield a bow because his
immense strength always snaps it in half before he can fire an arrow. Equius is a fan of fine art,
specifically those depicting nude musclebeasts as we can see on his walls. He also likes to
build robots for the sole purpose of fighting against and destroying them.
-Equius’s lusus is a centaur butler named Aurthour. His main task seems to be providing milk to
Equius.
-Equius actually has three different strife specibuses (specibi?): fistkind, which is his main
“weapon”; bowkind, which he has never been able to use successfully; and 1/2bowkind, which
is basically useless.
-Equius has the conversation with Nepeta that we saw back in A5A1 Part 4, in which he tells her
not to join the Red Team.
-Equius messages Gamzee. They have a very odd relationship. Equius simultaneously
despises Gamzee but also kind of...reveres him? Because Gamzee’s blood color is higher on
the hemospectrum than Equius’s is, and Equius is furious that Gamzee is not exerting his
dominance over “lesser” trolls.
-Gamzee has entered the game at this point and is chilling with some imps.
-It’s in this conversation that we see how Equius’s classist tendencies border on fetishism. He
really, really wants Gamzee to order him around. Gamzee, being a generally chill and friendly
guy, does his best to indulge him.
-Equius talks about the social order a bit more, saying he’s a bit confused about it. He seems to
be attracted to Aradia, who has the lowest ranking blood color of all. When Gamzee starts
asking about this Equius quickly ends the conversation.
-Vriska messages Equius. She asks if he’s finished the present for Aradia yet. He has. He’ll
deliver it shortly.
-Vriska and Equius discuss their plan to overthrow Aradia as leader of Blue Team and take it
over themselves. They totally aren’t going to doublecross each other afterward, nope, 100%
trust going on here.
-Also Equius is the one who built Vriska’s robotic arm.
-Equius heads downstairs to check on Aradia’s present. It’s a robotic body for Aradia, except
with the same shade of blue blood that he has. He flirts with it. He gets mad at one of his other
robots for “watching” them and punches it through the wall, where it explodes.
-Vriska’s doomsday device is activated and does absolutely nothing. Until the chains supporting
it snap, causing another explosion, which causes part of the rock spire supporting Equius’s hive
to collapse.
-The falling rocks bury Vriska’s spider lusus in a pile of rubble. Aurthour the centaur butler falls
to his death.

-A short time before this, with Terezi. She has entered the game and is fighting off some imps.
-Vriska messages Terezi. She says she’s going to be breaking their truce tonight by playing the
game. Terezi says the truce wasn’t about playing games, it was about not stabbing each other in
the back and stopping the “cycle of revenge”.
-Vriska says she’s going to give Aradia a present to make up for what she did to her.
-Vriska also implies that she was responsible for Terezi becoming blind, and that Terezi was
responsible for Vriska losing her other eye.
-Terezi says that their old team, Team Scourge, was meant to be a vigilante duo where the two
of them would hunt down criminals to feed to Vriska’s lusus, but Vriska just went around feeding
everyone to her, guilty or innocent.
-Vriska suddenly hears a noise outside her hive. It sounded like two explosions and then an
avalanche. She leaves to go check on whatever’s happening.

-Some time in the past, but still with Terezi. This was before she became blind.
-Terezi and Aradia are discussing Tavros after his role-playing “accident”. Aradia says he’ll
probably never walk again. Terezi suggests that maybe Equius could get him some
robo-prosthetics, but Aradia doesn’t want anything to do with blue bloods anymore—no offense
to Terezi.
-Aradia is furious about what happened to Tavros, but Terezi says to let her handle Vriska.
-Apparently when Tavros was trying to contact Aradia and Terezi for help at that time, they were
both being distracted by White Text Guy who had appeared before them.

-Still in this flashback, but with Aradia now. She and her lusus are both still alive.
-Aradia decides to get revenge against Vriska by summoning the spirits of the trolls that were
fed to Vriska’s lusus.

-In Vriska’s hive, she is being tormented by the ghosts of her victims. Suddenly White Text Guy
messages her. He asks what Vriska intends to do about this situation. He encourages her to kill
Aradia in revenge.
-Vriska asks why he doesn’t just kill her himself, but he says that isn’t “how he works”. According
to Vriska, he had also encouraged her to kill Tavros and even helped her out. He says that all he
did was stand somewhere for a few minutes, and besides, Vriska hated Tavros and wanted to
kill him anyway, right?
-Vriska says maybe she did hate him, but she never wanted to kill her friends—or the closest
thing she has to friends, at least.
-White Text Guy says that he only “nudges” events into motion when it’s necessary to fulfill his
ultimate goal of bringing his “employer” into the universe. He insists that Vriska killing Aradia is
inevitable.
-After finishing the conversation, Vriska contemplates the best way to kill Aradia. Aradia is one
of the trolls Vriska can’t mind-control, so she has to find another way. There is another troll she
can control though, but only about half the time…

-Aradia gets a message from Vriska. She says Aradia’s boyfriend is waiting outside her hive
right now.
-Aradia goes outside to look. She is delighted to see Sollux floating outside...except Vriska has
forced him to eat some mind honey and his powers are about to go out of control.
-RIP Aradia.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 7
Pages 2252 to 2295

(original comment)

-(We’re still in the flashback, by the way.)

-We are formally introduced to White Text Guy. His name is Doc Scratch. He is a humanoid with
a spherical white head that looks like a cue ball. He flashes with the same green energy that
Jade’s dog Bec has. He is omnipotent and omniscient and he is very smug about it.
-Doc Scratch is a servant of Lord English (the leader of the Felt, first mentioned in the
Intermission). Doc Scratch’s job is to pave the way for Lord English to enter the universe. He
has been working on this for centuries.
-Doc Scratch is the “first guardian” of Alternia. Every planet with intelligent life has one of these.
While they can come in many forms, they all share a certain special genetic sequence (can you
guess who the first guardian of Earth is?)
-Doc Scratch has an interesting cube-shaped chessboard in his (very green) office that looks a
lot like Skaia does after three prototypings.
-Terezi somehow messages Doc Scratch on his typewriter. She enlisted Sollux’s help because
she has a message for him. Terezi says Vriska has been “cheating” in her games against Doc
Scratch.

-Before revealing to Scratch the exact method of cheating, Terezi talks to Vriska directly in the
hopes that Vriska feels some sort of remorse for killing Aradia and crippling Tavros. But Vriska
does not seem to regret her actions at all.
-Terezi says that she’s thinking about killing Vriska. Actually, Vriska will probably be dead in a
few minutes. Vriska doesn’t believe this, so Terezi tells her to consult her “little advantage” if she
wants to know for sure.

-It turns out Vriska’s “advantage” is a magic cue ball. It was a while ago so it makes sense if you
forgot, but back in Act 3 Part 1 we saw that Jade has a magic cue ball as well. Apparently these
both used to belong to Doc Scratch.
-As a quick reminder, a magic cue ball is basically the same as a magic 8 ball, except its
predictions are always accurate; the downside being that there’s no way to actually see the
prediction, so Jade was never able to use it.
-Vriska, however, has “vision eightfold”. She asks the cue ball if she should be worried about
Terezi’s threat. “YES”

-Terezi tells Doc Scratch about the cue ball. He is infuriated.

-Vriska asks how it’s going to happen. “I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE”
-It does. Vriska loses her special eye and one of her arms.
-Back to present times. Equius collects Aurthour’s body in preparation for prototyping it.
-Meanwhile, Vriska finds her spider lusus on the verge of death.
-Vriska rolls her fluorite octet, summoning a guillotine that finishes off her lusus. Then the rest of
Equius’s hive collapses, but thankfully Equius enters the game just before the hive crushes
Vriska.
-Vriska messages Aradia, angry that she didn’t have the chance to retrieve Aradia’s present
from Equius, and angry that Equius entered the game before she did. Aradia points out that she
just saved Vriska’s life by getting Equius into the game.
-Vriska says that she wanted to give Aradia the present so they could be friends again. Aradia
isn’t sure they were ever friends to begin with.
-Vriska is further enraged when Aradia tells her she isn’t on the blue team; she was always
going to be on the red team.
-Vriska is genuinely upset that Aradia doesn’t seem to want revenge against her. She’s also sad
to be on the red team, since she thinks everyone on that team hates her.
-Aradia tells her that the teams are meaningless anyway. This does nothing to calm Vriska down
and she logs off in a huff.

-Equius arrives in the Land of Caves and Silence.

-He messages Aradia to tell her that he alone will be the leader of the blue team. Aradia is
perfectly okay with this.
-Equius starts getting flustered to hear Aradia going along with his orders, especially when she
calls herself his server player. Aradia clarifies that “server player” doesn’t actually mean she will
be serving him. Rather, she will be in command of his environment. This makes Equius even
more flustered.
-Aradia asks if he’s okay. He says he just needs to break something in order to relax. Aradia
understands; she likes breaking things too. She offers to break something for him and throws a
bathtub through his wall. Equius is probably the most turned on he’s ever been in his life.
-The conversation continues along these lines for a while.
-Equius eventually comes to the conclusion that he would actually like Aradia to take over as the
leader of the blue team. Well, the secret leader in charge of Equius. He would still be the leader
over everyone else.
-They finish talking and Equius literally JUMPS up to his first gate without having to build up to
it. He quickly reaches his second gate as well and arrives in Aradia’s land.
-Equius gives Aradia the robo-body. She merges her ghostly sprite form into it.
-Aradiabot realizes that Equius has programmed the robot body to have romantic feelings for
Equius. She is understandably enraged by this and rips out the chip containing that program.
She starts smacking the shit out of Equius…before making out with him.

-Nepeta, who has been watching all of this as Aradia’s server player, is taken off guard by this
development and goes to update her shipping wall.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 8
Pages 2296 to 2347

(original comment)

-Karkat messages Vriska to ask her to join the red team. Vriska reluctantly agrees since Aradia
kicked her off the blue team.
-They banter for a bit before Vriska asks why Karkat hides his blood color behind an anonymous
gray. Karkat gets very defensive over this.
-Karkat tells Vriska to hurry up and get Tavros into the session before he gets killed. She isn’t
too happy to be paired up with a guy she hates. Karkat starts giving her advice about “black
romance.” (oh boy the troll romance is coming! Brace yourselves)
-Karkat gets really into his relationship monologue. Vriska is just completely done with him.
-Vriska is prepared to run off to help Taros just so she doesn’t have to listen to Karkat talk
anymore.
-Karkat clarifies that he doesn’t need Vriska to help Tavros specifically; he just needs her to get
in the game because he really needs her mind powers for something. Vriska is intrigued.
-Karkat has met someone named Jack, who wants to work together with Karkat to overthrow the
Black Queen.
-Also, Jack stabbed Karkat. Karkat’s cool about it, though. This gets Vriska back on the topic of
Karkat’s blood color. He evades all of her attempts to find out about it.
-Vriska heads off to help out Tavros.

-A few minutes ago. Jack has just stabbed Karkat. Karkat is more worried about hiding his blood
than he is about the wound itself. Jack doesn’t get what the big deal is. It’s just normal red
blood.
-Except it’s not normal for trolls. Karkat’s specific shade of red blood is a rare mutation that
could lead to him being culled if anyone found out.
-Jack cuts himself across the palm to demonstrate that he has the exact same blood color.
Karkat is astonished by this. They shake hands, making a literal blood pact.
-For the record, Karkat’s blood is the same color as human blood in Homestuck. It’s sometimes
referred to as “bright candy red”. Whereas Aradia’s non-mutant blood is more of a dark red, a
burgundy.

-Jack and Karkat put together a plan to take out the Black Queen. Because of the Queen’s ring,
she takes on aspects of all of the prototyped lusii, giving her a powerful and monstrous
appearance. However, there is one transformation she could not accept: the frog, Aradia’s
sprite.
-Frogs are reviled by the Black Queen and her followers. Because of this, she takes off the ring
entirely and locks it in a vault.
-Unfortunately we don’t get to see Jack and Karkat’s plan get carried out, but it is a success and
the Queen is exiled to the future Alternian wasteland. This place should look familiar to you if
you didn’t skip the Intermission.
-On her arrival, she is greeted by Doc Scratch.

-But let’s go back to before this happened. Both teams of trolls are working on getting into the
game, under the impression that they are playing in separate sessions. But they start to notice
that the underlings display the prototypings of the opposing team.
-Surprise! It was actually one session all along. We are so surprised by this.

-There’re still two trolls we haven’t met yet, though. Actually, three: we haven’t been properly
introduced to grimAuxiliatrix yet. So let’s do that!
-Her name is Kanaya Maryam. She’s one of the few trolls that can tolerate Alternia’s sunlight.
She enjoys landscaping, fashion design, and stories about rainbowdrinkers (Alternian
vampires).
-Kanaya’s lusus is rare: a virgin Mother Grub.
-Kanaya’s weapon is a chainsaw...or wait, a lipstick tube? (This is a Problem Sleuth reference.)

-Kanaya is messaged by one of the trolls we haven’t met yet: cuttlefishCuller [CC].
-Quick explanation of her quirk: H’s are typed as )( to look like the Pisces symbol and capital E’s
are typed with dashes in front to look like a trident.
-CC is very excited about everything, but especially about the game they’re going to play today.
She wants to compare notes with Kanaya, even though they’re on different teams.
-CC mentions that she’ll be joining her team late in order to keep an eye on her “moirail”. She
points out that Kanaya is doing the same thing with her own moirail. Kanaya isn’t so sure that
“she” is actually her moirail…she’s not even sure if she wants that to be their relationship.
-CC is sad at the thought that her lusus will be dying soon and decides to go say goodbye to
her. She encourages Kanaya to do the same with her own lusus.

-Kanaya goes to check on her lusus, but it’s too late: she’s already dead.
-Kanaya pulls out her chainsaw, slices open the Mother Grub’s abdomen, and pulls out some
sort of gray ball covered in orange spikes that look like troll horns. It’s called a Matriorb.
-Kanaya looks at the blood on her hands and thinks about her rainbowdrinker fantasies. She
tastes the blood. BLUH

-Kanaya goes to talk with her “moirail”. It’s Vriska.

-This is the conversation we saw back in Act 5 (Act 1) Part 5.
-Kanaya wonders if this is how a moirallegiance is supposed to go. Troll Romance sure is
confusing.

-Kanaya gets a message from our final troll: caligulasAquarium [CA].

-CA wants Kanaya to get Vriska to unblock him. Kanaya points out that she probably blocked
him because of his attitude.
-CA says he made a deal with Vriska and she has something for him: a weapon to kill all land
dwellers. Kanaya asks why she would help CA get that sort of thing. CA clarifies that he wasn’t
planning on killing Kanaya.
-CA wants Kanaya to be the “auspistice” for him and Vriska, or else they’ll become
“kismesisses” which could cause a lot of havok. (These terms will be explained soon, please
bear with me!).
-Kanaya points out that the world is ending tonight regardless, so these sorts of issues aren’t
really a priority right now.
-CA asks again for Kanaya to get Vriska to talk to him. She simply refuses. CA implies that it’s
because of Kanaya’s own feelings for Vriska.
-Kanaya praises CC’s patience in dealing with CA as a moirail.

-Kanaya returns to her room and consults a secret source of information she has about the
game.
-It’s Rose’s GameFAQs walkthrough.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 9
Pages 2348 to 2385

(original comment)

-Tavros has entered the game as the Page of Breath in the Land of Sand and Zephyr.
-Vriska decides to build up his hive as nothing but staircases. Tavros is…less than happy about
this. He asks Vriska to build ramps instead. She yells at him to get out of his wheelchair and
start crawling up the stairs.
-Vriska insists that they need to do things the hard way so that Tavros can become stronger.
-Vriska says it’s very inconvenient for her to have to deal with Tavros and demands that he
apologize to her for being paralyzed. (...you’re making it real hard for me to keep these
summaries unbiased, Vriska -.-)
-Tavros refuses to apologize so Vriska grabs his wheelchair with the game cursor and shakes
him around.

-In Vriska’s hive, she’s having the time of her life tormenting Tavros. Her server player, Kanaya,
attempts to keep her in check by bonking her with a toilet.
-At Kanaya’s urging to actually help Tavros, Vriska sends him a code for rocket shoes. Tavros
combines this with his wheelchair to make a rocket chair.

-At some further point in time, Tavros is making great progress with his quests. His ability to
commune with animals has been a great help in dealing with the underlings.
-Vriska is less than thrilled with these boring puzzles. She tells Tavros he needs to start cheating
in order to get to the good stuff. She gives Tavros a map to his Denizen. Tavros is worried it’ll be
too strong for him, but Vriska encourages him to go for it, even at the risk of death. He’s still
hesitant. Vriska threatens to mind control him into doing it anyway, so Tavros reluctantly heads
towards the gate.
-The gate leads him to the Land of Maps and Treasure…specifically, right into Vriska’s hive.
She’s the Thief of Light, by the way.
-Vriska does some Pupa Pan roleplaying while Tavros is lying on the floor.
-Vriska pulls Tavros up and kisses him. Tavros is shocked and confused by this. Vriska is upset
by his lack of reciprocation and starts to mind control him into kissing her back, but she gives up
after a moment.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 10
Pages 2386 to 2437

(original comment)

-Kanaya checks in on Vriska…only to see her kissing Tavros while wearing a dress that Kanaya
made for her.
-Kanaya is heartbroken.

-OH BOY TROLL ROMANCE TIME! This is something that confuses a lot of people, so I’ll do
my best to help explain it.
-While humans only have one form of romance (♥), trolls have four (♥♦♠♣).
-These romances are grouped in several different ways:
-Red romance: based on positive feelings (♥ and ♦)
-Black romance: based on negative feelings (♠ and ♣)
-Concupiscent: sexual relationships (♥ and ♠)
-Conciliatory: non-sexual relationship (♦ and ♣)

-Now to break down each quadrant separately:

-The flushed quadrant (♥), which is the easiest to understand. This is generally what humans
think of as romance. Love, affection, positive emotions, and usually sex. The example
relationship given here is Mom♥Dad. Two people in a flushed relationship are said to be
matesprits.
-The caliginous quadrant (♠). If you’ve heard of the term “hatesex”, that would fit this quadrant
pretty well. Relationships based on animosity, rivalry, and also sex. The example relationship
given here is Jack Noir♠Black Queen (aka Snowman). Two people in a caliginous relationship
are referred to as each other’s kismesis.
-The ashen quadrant (♣). A non-sexual relationship, and unique in that it features three trolls.
This is probably the hardest to explain. The purpose of this quadrant is for the third troll, called
the auspistice, to intervene in the relationship between two trolls who are on the verge of
becoming kismesises. This is necessary in troll society because trolls in general have a lot of
negative feelings going around, so if nothing stopped them there would be a lot of trolls getting
into multiple caliginous relationships and cheating on their kismesis. The example given here is
Vriska♣Kanaya♣Tavros, with Kanaya acting as the auspistice preventing Vriska and Tavros from
becoming kismesises.
-The pale quadrant (♦). While this is a non-sexual relationship, it is still considered a romance. It
is sometimes described as platonic soulmates. If you’re familiar with the term “queerplatonic”,
that describes this type of relationship very well. A pale relationship is generally meant for two
trolls to balance each other out emotionally and to keep each other from harming themselves or
anyone else. The example given here is Nepeta♦Equius. Two people in a pale relationship are
called moirails.
-Troll relationships can also flip between quadrants, a process called vacillation. One example is
Aradia and Equius, vacillating between a positive flushed relationship ♥ and a negative
caliginous relationship ♠.
-An auspistice can put an end to a vacillating relationship, as shown by the
Vriska♣Kanaya♣Tavros relationship, where without Kanaya’s intervention Vriska and Tavros
keep flipping red and black.

-Then Hussie trolls us with that crazy flip-flopping romance diagram. But I’ll break it down here:
-CC and CA are in a moirallegiance ♦, but CA’s feelings for CC are actually flushed ♥.
-Kanaya is sometimes an auspistice ♣ for Vriska and Tavros’s caliginous ♠ relationship, although
Vriska and Tavros flip red ♥ at times.
-But Kanaya is also kind of Vriska’s moirail ♦.
-BUT Kanaya actually has flushed ♥ feelings for Vriska.
-Meanwhile CA and Vriska have some caliginous ♠ feelings going on, and CA’s trying to get
Kanaya to auspiticize ♣ for them as well.

-Alright that’s enough troll romance for now. Let’s go meet CC and CA properly.
-CA is named Eridan Ampora. Wielding his rifle and riding his seahorse lusus, he shoots down a
massive whale lusus.
-CC is named Feferi Peixes. Waiting in the sea below Eridan, she grabs the dying whale in a net
and drags it down into the depths of the sea. She feeds the whale to an absolutely massive,
Lovecraftian tentacle monster at the bottom of the ocean. That’s her lusus, by the way.
-Feferi and Eridan both head home.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 11
Pages 2438 to 2477

(original comment)

-Let’s get to know Eridan a bit better. His blood color is the second-highest on the
hemospectrum and he is a sea dweller. Eridan wants to kill all of the land dwellers and he
collects weapons from all over the world for that purpose. He also likes magic, but he knows it’s
fake.
-Next up is Feferi. She is also a sea dweller. She has the highest-ranking and rarest blood color.
Feferi is the heir apparent for Alternia. If the planet wasn’t about to be destroyed, she would
have had ambitions for the throne. Under her rule, the unfit and infirm would be cared for rather
than exterminated. She cares for the local wildlife as practice, although the wildlife doesn’t
actually need much caring for. She also wants to unite the land dwellers and the sea dwellers.
-Feferi’s lusus is named Gl’bgolyb, also known as the Emissary to the Horrorterrors. She
whispers things to Feferi, including information about Alternia’s coming destruction.

-Eridan messages Feferi. She encourages him to talk to her about what’s on his mind, as they
are moirails.
-They discuss Eridan’s plots to kill the land dwellers. Feferi insists that being sea dwellers
doesn’t make them better than anyone, but Eridan disagrees.
-Feferi thinks Eridan’s doomsday plans are just an excuse to get closer to a certain someone.
(It’s Vriska.) Eridan confides that he thinks she’s ignoring him because she’s bored with him. He
thought they had a really good rivalry going though. Feferi tries to encourage him by saying that
he’d make an excellent kismesis for anyone.
-Continuing with the romance talk, Feferi asks Eridan if he has any red feelings for anyone. He
gets very defensive about this and ends the conversation.

-Eridan is not enjoying being Feferi’s moirail.

-Feferi is not enjoying being Eridan’s moirail.

-Eridan messages Vriska. She doesn’t answer because she’s busy watching her lusus die.
Eridan is convinced she’s not answering because she’s bored with him.
-Eridan and Vriska used to FLARP together. Vriska would capture enemy trolls to feed to her
lusus, while Eridan would take the lusii of those trolls and give them to Feferi so she could feed
HER lusus.
-Feferi needs to keep her lusus fed to keep her quiet. If Gl’bgolyb raised her voice, the resulting
psychic shockwave would kill trolls all over the planet, and eventually even the galaxy. This is
called the Vast Glub.
-Some time later, after the trolls have entered the game. Feferi is the Witch of Life in the Land of
Dew and Glass.
-She messages Eridan. Sollux barely managed to get her into the game, but now the full
connection chain is complete. Eridan does not seem to like Sollux at all.
-Eridan says he was worried about her. He has something to confess, actually. Feferi has
something to confess as well. Eridan tells her to go first.
-Feferi says that, because they have left their world behind and Eridan can no longer pose a
danger to the world, she doesn’t feel the need to be his moirail anymore.
-Eridan is surprised by this. Feferi tells him how difficult it was for her to keep him out of trouble
and how exhausted she is now.
-Eridan begs her not to do this; weren’t they destined to be moirails? Feferi says that both
people have to be on board for a relationship to work, and she just can’t do it anymore.
-Eridan has a quick flash of anger before calming himself down. He asks if Feferi would maybe
like to be matesprits instead. She’s not sure. She’s spent so much time trying to keep Eridan
from killing everyone or hurting himself that she hasn’t had the time to think about other feelings.
-Eridan spirals into self-deprecation. Feferi is fed up and starts yelling at him about how he’s
always starting drama and she’s sick of it.
-Feferi says it’s time to focus on playing the game and building something new. She heads off to
help out Sollux.

-Meanwhile in Gamzee’s land, the Land of Tents and Mirth, Karkat (as Sollux’s server player) is
staring in horror at his computer screen.
-Sollux is lying dead in his hive, blood pouring from every orifice. He was killed by the Vast Glub.
-While Jack Noir tries to slap some sense into a sobbing Karkat, Gamzee has a conversation
with Eridan. Eridan is shocked to hear that Sollux is dead, but Gamzee is chill about it because
he’s sure there’s a miracle coming.
-Eridan really wants to talk to Karkat, but he’s obviously preoccupied at the moment. Gamzee
asks if he can help instead. Eridan talks about his feelings briefly. Gamzee encourages him to
drink Faygo.

-Eridan is surprised to realize that he actually does have some Faygo in his hive. (It’s the bottle
that was flung out of Gamzee’s sylladex back in Act 5 (Act 1) Part 1.)
-Eridan takes a sip. BLUH. Well, not really. It’s just soda.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 12
Pages 2478 to 2515

(original comment)

-Feferi kisses Sollux’s bloody corpse. Sollux’s dream self wakes up on Derse.

-And here’s where the Intermission comes into play! You guys didn’t skip it, right?
-Spades Slick continues speaking to Karkat via the terminal. He’s not exactly thrilled to be
watching these shenanigans play out again.
-If it wasn’t clear, Spades Slick is the future version of the troll’s Jack Noir, so he can see his
past self on the screen right now.
-Andrew Hussie, in troll cosplay, is watching Spades Slick watch Karkat watch Feferi.
-The MSPA Reader watches Andrew Hussie watch Spades Slick watch Karkat watch Feferi.
-You are watching the MSPA Reader watch Andrew Hussie watch Spades Slick watch Karkat
watch Feferi.

-The narrator tells Hussie to get back to the story. Hussie is not happy about this and threatens
to make us listen to the troll romance explanation again. He does it.
-The narrator asks if it’s time for another recap. Nah, not yet. Back to the story now.
-Spades Slick inputs the command to move along.

-Dream Sollux floats around Derse. He thinks it’s strange compared to Prospit, where he was
before. Sollux has two dreamselves, for some reason; one for each planet.
-Clubs Deuce talks to Sollux via a terminal while his past self, the Courtyard Droll, meets Sollux
in person.
-Sollux is not happy to hear another voice in his head and uses his psychic powers to blow up
CD’s terminal.
-Sollux flies away from Derse to return to his hive in the Land of Brains and Fire. He’s the Mage
of Doom by the way.
-Feferi is surprised to see him, especially since his corpse is still lying bloody on the floor.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 13
Pages 2516 to 2546

(original comment)

-Vriska and Tavros are zooming all over the land and finding treasure.
-An exile watches them from a terminal, before switching over to view the Seer of Mind in the
Land of Thought and Flow: Terezi.
-Terezi hears the exile’s voice very clearly (as she told Rose back in Act 4 Part 4). She
communicates with her exile by answering in chalk. The exile tells her to eliminate Jack Noir.

-Meanwhile, Nepeta is fighting off underlings in the Land of Little Cubes and Tea (or LOLCAT for
short). She’s the Rogue of Heart.
-Equius is there as well (he’s the Heir of Void). Nepeta happily tackles him.

-Karkat has somehow set up a bulletin board that operates independently from time, so the trolls
can respond to the memos from any point in the timeline.
-Past Karkat (from Equius’s perspective) catches everybody up on how the trolls are actually
just one team. Past Karkat says he’s the leader of that time.
-A few other trolls chime in from time to time, including Future Karkat, mostly just to make fun of
Karkat for his memos. He bans them.
-Equius chimes in to say that he doesn’t recognize Karkat as the leader. Past Karkat insists that
he will and tells him to read the rest of the memos. Equius says that all the memos are pretty
much just Karkat from various points in time arguing with himself. Karkat bans him.

-Meanwhile, Terezi continues talking with her exile. They’re still discussing Jack Noir. Also Terezi
thinks red chalk is the tastiest.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 14
Pages 2547 to 2568

(original comment)

-Current Karkat starts another memo. They’re about to start Operation Regisurp: Jack’s plan to
exile the Black Queen.
-Karkat warns the other trolls not to message him through the memos or it’s an insta-ban. This
includes Karkat’s future selves.
-Future Eridan chimes in asking for relationship advice. (This is right after Eridan talked to
Gamzee and drank some Faygo back in Act 5 (Act 1) Part 11.)
-Karkat is sympathetic but still bans Eridan because this isn’t the place for that kind of
discussion. He tells Eridan to message him in private about it.
-Future Vriska chimes in just to laugh at Karkat. She gets banned.
-Karkat continues rambling to himself in his memo. He kind of forgets what he was talking
about.
-Past Tavros chimes in from where he is laying on the floor of Vriska’s hive (just after Act 5 (Act
1) Part 9). He asks for relationship advice as well.
-Karkat gives in and lets him talk, but also reminds him this is a public bulletin and Vriska can
see it. Past Tavros is aware of this and apologizes to Vriska for hurting her feelings.
-Past Vriska chimes in (not quite as Past as Tavros though; she’s like 30 minutes ahead of him).
She accepts his apology. Karkat is having a blast watching this.
-Past Vriska invites Past Tavros to go treasure hunting. Karkat quickly bans them both so that
he can try and regain control of his memo. Future Karkat comes in and tells him the memo was
kind of a mess. Future Karkat bans Current Karkat and closes the memo.

-About 38 minutes in the past, Tavros is lying on the floor of Vriska’s hive. An exile is talking to
him (it’s Hearts Boxcars). HB yells at Tavros to get up and kiss Vriska.
-Meanwhile, an exile is talking to Vriska as well. It’s the same exile that was talking to Terezi (or
will be talking to Terezi? I think this takes place before that).
-The exile talking to Vriska and Terezi is Snowman, aka the exiled Black Queen.
-Back to Snowman’s conversation with Terezi. She tells Terezi to retrieve the Queen’s ring from
the vault before Jack does, and then destroy the ring.

-Switching perspective to check on Kanaya, the Sylph of Space in the Land of Rays and j̸̻̉͆͐̚ṭ̴́̑̅͠ ͅ j̵̻̺͖̹͇͑̉͘͝e̶̦͐̒a̷͚̭͕̼̒͐̑͘c̥͇̥̜̃͊̉̚ ̴
ͅ
(Her land name isn’t actually corrupted, we just aren’t allowed to know what it is yet.)
-Kanaya checks a memo from Future Karkat, 599 hours from now.
-In typical Karkat fashion, this memo starts off with Karkat arguing with himself.
-Future Karkat mentions how they killed the Black King.
-Future Karkat says he can’t see any mistakes that the trolls made, so someone else must be
responsible for “this disaster”.
-Future Karkat is feeling nostalgic and asks the other trolls how they spent the last holiday of
12th Perigee’s Eve. He talks about how he spent it with his lusus.
-At this point in time, Future Karkat is on the meteor in the Veil where he will later contact John
and the other kids from.
-Current Kanaya chimes in to tell him how she spent the holiday reading stories to her lusus.
-Future Karkat is surprised to hear from her; she hasn’t responded to any of the memos before.
-Future Karkat vents to her about everything that went on in the game, until they reached the
point where they thought they had won. But they lost. Kanaya asks what happened. Future
Karkat tells her to read the memo he posted before this one.
-Kanaya says she’s not even sure why she responded. Karkat figures it’s a relationship problem,
since that’s what all the other trolls have been using the memos for. He encourages her to talk
to him about it.
-Kanaya hints towards her red feelings for Vriska before asking to talk to Karkat about it
privately; she’s not really comfortable discussing this on a public forum.
-Karkat mentions his own relationship troubles. Specifically, how he thinks he might actually be
his own kismesis. He came to this conclusion after arguing with his past and future selves via
the memos.
-Kanaya asks if he has any red feelings for anyone. He refuses to talk about that in public and
says he might tell her privately.
-But back to why Kanaya originally wanted to ask. She asks if Karkat had seen, at any point in
time, real magic. Karkat is skeptical but Kanaya believes it is real (she’s remembering Rose’s
GameFAQs walkthrough which says “magic is real”).
-Karkat points out that the game is kind of magical in itself, with its alchemy and dream clouds
and stuff.
-Kanaya wanted to use magic because she’s not sure how to stoke the volcano in her land.
Future Karkat assures her that she’ll figure it out without needing any magic. They were all
pretty good at the game, until they reached the end.
-Kanaya asks why things went wrong at the end. Future Karkat tells her to scroll up to the top of
the timelines.
-Future Karkat notices that Future Kanaya (who’s in the same room with him) is messing with
her chainsaw.
-Future Kanaya proceeds to cut Future Tavros’s legs off. Future Karkat passes out.
-Another Future Karkat (an hour ahead) chimes in to let Current Kanaya know everything’s okay
before closing the memo.
-Kanaya scrolls up to the top of the trolls’ timelines. At some point ahead of Future Karkat’s
time, all of the timelines end abruptly, cutting off into a jagged, chaotic mess. That can’t be good.
Act 5 (Act 1) Part 15
Pages 2569 to 2625

(original comment)

-Let’s check on Terezi who’s alchemized herself a cool set of rocket wings.
-She tells Karkat about her mission to go after the Queen’s ring. Karkat isn’t too sure about this,
since he’s still trying to pull off Operation Regisurp with Jack.
-Terezi admits that the mission is actually to destroy the ring, and also exile Jack. Karkat is not
happy about this, since he’s kind of become friends with Jack. Terezi has a bad feeling about
Jack though.
-Changing the subject, Terezi tells Karkat she knows what his blood color is: bright candy red.
Karkat is shocked to hear that she knows. She tells him she found out when she got close to
smell him during their “little moment”. Karkat quickly shushes her and tells her they can talk
about it in person.
-Karkat asks how Terezi’s sense of smell is so good. She explains how her dragon lusus taught
her through her dreams. Just when Terezi went blind, she woke up on Prospit’s moon with the
help of her lusus. Except for that very first moment when she could still see, Terezi is blind in her
dreams as well. That day, her lusus began teaching her a different way to “see”.
-Karkat mentions that his dream self hasn’t woken up yet.
-Karkat asks how Terezi went blind in the first place. He knows that Vriska had something to do
with it, but he’s not sure how exactly. Terezi promises to explain this when Karkat’s dream self
wakes up.
-Terezi starts to leave to work on the ring mission. Karkat asks her not to tell the others about his
blood; he wants to tell them himself, once they respect him as a leader. Terezi agrees to keep
the secret, but tells him that they already do respect him.
-Terezi signs off with a <3. Karkat signs off as well, but quickly comes back to leave a <3 as
well.

-[S] Make her pay.

-Flashback to the drama surrounding that whole crazy FLARPing incident that resulted in Tavros
being paralyzed and Aradia being killed.
-Vriska has just had the magic cue ball explode in her face (Act 5 (Act 1) Part 7). She’s lost an
eye and an arm and is bleeding heavily. She wants revenge.
-Vriska uses her psychic powers to take control of Tavros. She uses Tavros’s animal communion
powers to take control of Terezi’s lusus. She uses the lusus’s psychic powers to take control of a
sleeping Terezi.
-Terezi walks outside and opens her eyes. Her dream self wakes up on Prospit and opens her
eyes as well, gazing up towards Skaia.
-Unfortunately, the real Terezi is staring directly into the dangerous Alternian sun. She goes
blind.
-Fast forward to when the trolls have entered the game.
-Karkat and Jack are fighting off underlings in Karkat’s land.
-Karkat makes it to Terezi’s land and fights off stronger underlings with her.
-Gamzee is fighting some underlings in his own land.
-Feferi is fighting in Sollux’s land, alongside Sollux himself.
-Nepeta and Equius have teamed up to fight in Nepeta’s land.
-Tavros is adventuring.
-Kanaya is fighting in Equius’s land.
-Back in Sollux’s land, Eridan shows up and picks a fight with Sollux, presumably due to
jealousy over Feferi.
-Vriska and Tavros are rocketing around Vriska’s land in search of more treasure. Robo!Aradia
shows up in front of Vriska. She does not look happy.
-Aradia starts beating the shit out of Vriska, both physically and psychically. Tavros watches in
shock.
-Aradia leaves Vriska a beaten, bloody, unconscious mess on the ground, then teleports away.
-Dream Vriska wakes up on Prospit and is immediately slapped in the face by Dream Terezi.

-Turns out Diamonds Droog was the one who told Aradia to “make her pay”. He’s pleased with
the results. He tells Aradia to skip to the end, but she refuses his orders. He’s also pleased by
this, and lets her carry on as she pleases.

-Robo!Aradia starts her own memo, entitled “r0ad t0 the und0ing”. It’s a private board only for
Aradia and her various selves throughout time.
-Aradia describes how she conscripted an army of herself from various timelines to fight the
Black King. (Quick reminder that Aradia is the Maid of Time and has access to time travel
powers now.)
-Aradia briefly describes the trolls’ difficult battle against the 12x prototyped Black King. They
just barely managed to beat him, even with high levels, great equipment, psychically-powered
meteor attacks, and a lucky roll of the dice from Vriska.
-Afterwards, the trolls gathered on a gray platform floating in a dark void. On this platform was
the giant house-shaped Sgrub logo. Karkat reached for the doorknob on the house, but before
they could claim their prize, they were interrupted by “something”.
-In the memo, Aradia states that they later came to learn that this “something” came to their
session via a rift that was opened up by four members of a fledgling species from another
session.
-This rift is called “The Scratch”.
-Also, Aradia is having some sort of conversation with Doc Scratch as she types out this memo.
We can’t really see what he’s saying though, as most of his text isn’t highlighted.
-Aradia says that whatever came through the rift was indestructible. It destroyed all of the
Aradiabots except for the main one and forced the trolls to flee to the Veil for safety. This is
where they have waited since then, unable to enter the new universe they had created…our
universe.
Act 5 (Act 2)

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 1

Pages 2626 to 2660

(original comment)

-Karkat uses Trollian’s viewport to watch John’s life unfold, from his arrival via meteor on Earth
to where we left John at the end of Act 4. He becomes angrier and angrier the more he sees,
until he eventually develops a hatecrush on John.
-Karkat is secretly thrilled to meet someone he deems worthy of being his kismesis. He selects
a point near the end of John’s timeline and messages him.
-Karkat unleashes his frothing rage upon John. John greets him cheerfully.
-John is excited to see the very first conversation Karkat has with him.
-John’s wearing some clothes we haven’t seen before, by the way. It’s a blue outfit with a
windy-looking symbol on the chest.
-Karkat is confused about how John knows him. John explains Karkat’s whole “going backwards
through the timeline” thing, and says that once Karkat finished with that he came back to talk to
John more recently along the timeline. They’re friends now! In fact the trolls and the humans
have been working together on a plan. This plan involves The Scratch, and apparently Karkat
was the one who suggested it.
-Karkat continues yelling at and insulting John. John is still excited to hear these masterful
trolling efforts that Karkat’s been bragging about for so long.
-Karkat proposes the idea of being kismesises with John. John is sort of caught off guard by
this. He’s got nothing against the trolls’ hate-love relationships, but he clarifies that he’s not gay.
Besides, he thought that Karkat and Terezi were together?
-Karkat quickly says that he doesn’t have a “thing” with Terezi, and that even if he did it wouldn’t
be blackrom.
-John feels kind of awkward about the direction the conversation has taken. Karkat agrees. He’s
reluctant to continue talking to John in the future, since that John would remember this
embarrassing conversation, so he decides to troll John backwards through time.

-Terezi opens up her own memo to discuss Karkat’s plan to troll the humans.
-Terezi thinks Karkat is losing his mind.
-Nepeta isn’t sure what the point of trolling the kids is.
-Sollux thinks it’s a terrible idea.
-Aradia will not be participating in the trolling.
-Feferi thinks talking to the kids could be fun, but she doesn’t think the trolls’ problems are the
kids’ fault. She actually wants to help them out.
-A variety of Past Karkats from several minutes in the future keep interrupting and getting
immediately banned. Terezi decides it’s about time to close the memo.
-Gamzee from waaaay in the past chimes in (420 hours ago, when they were still playing the
game). He’s very confused about what’s going on. Terezi reminds him that this conversation is
weeks in the future for him.
-Karkat physically walks over to Terezi’s computer and starts mashing her keyboard. The two of
them fight over it for a while.
-Vriska shows up just to laugh at them. She mentions how she’s too busy to worry about trolling
the kids; she’s got her own plans.
-Karkat bans everyone and Terezi gets ready to shut down the memo.
-Future Terezi from about 6 hours from now shows up. She tells Current Terezi that she
SHOULD troll the humans: it will be fun. Current Terezi says she was planning on doing that
anyway.

-Finally, after like 800 pages, we’re back to John. After being saved from the meteor lab by the
Authority Regulator, he lands back in the Land of Wind and Shade. He’s still asleep though (he’s
busy being Dream John on Skaia right now).
-Vriska tries to mind control John but she can’t.

-Over to Dream John. He’s walking around Skaia with the robot bunny. (In a cloud, we can see
Jade falling out of her room tower after her dreambot exploded.)
-John sees his Dad and Rose’s mom across a gap. John and Dad are very excited to see each
other.
-John leaps the gap.
-Vriska tries again to mind control John.
-John wakes up and Dream John disappears. The White Queen’s ring falls into the river far
below.
-Dad is sad. Mom attempts to comfort him. (The clouds show when Rose blew up her first gate.)

-Vriska messages John. He thinks he remembers her; she messaged him long ago and
threatened to kill him. (We have not seen this conversation yet.)
-Vriska says that she wants to help John. He is skeptical about this.
-John wants to go back to sleep so he can see his Dad. Vriska reminds him he can’t sleep now;
he has to get Jade into the game before the meteor kills her!
-John starts to run off to do that, before Vriska reminds him that he doesn’t even have his copy
of the server disc yet. She tells him he just needs to wait for a few minutes.
-John waits. The Breeze carries the server disc to him through the Parcel Pyxis.

-Time to check on Jade. Bec is watching the massive meteor approaching the island.
-Bec summons a bed to catch Jade as she falls out of her tower.
-Jade lands on the bed and immediately falls asleep as John tries to message her. Jade begins
dreaming…but her dream self is dead.

-Back on Skaia, WV stands among the slaughtered bodies of his army. The river runs red with
their blood. (In the cloud, we see Dave heading towards his first gate.)
-WV has wrapped himself in John’s ghost bedsheets.
-WV feels foolish to have believed that he could ever be a leader.
-He sees something gold and shiny floating in the river…
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 2
Pages 2661 to 2700

(original comment)

-John and Vriska chat while John heads back to his house. She gives him some general info
about the game, including the ultimate goal: creating a new universe.
-The topic turns to movies as John returns to his room. He sends Vriska a link to a scene from
Con Air.
-John notices that his house has been built up REALLY high by now. He messages Rose to talk
about it.
-Rose catches John up on all the new upgrades she’s added to the alchemiter and such.
-John tells Rose that he saw her Mom with his Dad. Rose asks if she seemed happy. John isn’t
sure because he was pretty distracted by seeing his Dad.
-Rose says that she’s been busy investigating everything she can find about the game. She’s
learned about the goal to create a universe, but she’s also learned that their session was never
meant to succeed.
-John asks: if they’re going to fail, then what’s the point? Rose says the objective is no longer to
win; it’s to break the game.

-Switching perspective over to Rose. She’s using her magic to tear apart ancient ruins.
-Kanaya messages Rose. She admits to reading Rose’s GameFAQs walkthrough.

-Going back in time now, to when the trolls had just discovered the humans.
-Kanaya asks Karkat if the humans are really responsible for the trolls’ failure. Karkat insists that
they are, and that the humans are going to fail as well.
-Kanaya tentatively asks about Rose, recognizing the name tentacleTherapist from the
GameFAQs walkthrough. Karkat encourages her to be the one to troll Rose and Kanaya
reluctantly agrees.
-Kanaya has her first conversation with “Rose” (actually just John using Rose’s computer, which
we saw back in Act 4 Part 8).
-Kanaya activates her computer’s viewport just in time to see Rose get a bucket dropped on her
head. Kanaya is mortified.
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 3
Pages 2701 to 2731

(original comment)

-Kanaya continues her attempts to troll Rose, but she gets bored fast. So instead she decides to
try trolling John at a point in the past when he was still using the ghostyTrickster chumhandle.
(Probably late November 2008, so about 4 ½ months in the past.)
-Kanaya tells John she’s an alien and he immediately takes over the conversation by talking
about the movies he likes.
-Kanaya sends John a portion of her conversation with “Rose”. John points out that Kanaya was
actually the one being trolled in that conversation.
-John encourages Kanaya to try talking to Rose again, before leaving to go wrap some
presents.
-John is immediately messaged by another troll. Looks like it’s Vriska, but we don’t get to see
this conversation yet.

-Kanaya goes to troll Rose again. We saw this conversation in Act 3 Part 7.
-Kanaya jumps further ahead on the timeline and they have the conversation we saw in Act 4
Part 12.
-They have a few more conversations, but Kanaya doesn’t feel like their friendship is
progressing as she had hoped.
-Kanaya messages Dave for advice on talking to Rose. We saw this conversation in Act 4 Part
5.
-Next is Kanaya’s 7th conversation with Rose. We also saw this one in Act 4 Part 5.
-Kanaya begins scanning ahead on Rose’s timeline to find a good spot to have the eighth
conversation for each of them. She sees Rose blow up her first gate.
-Kanaya quickly messages Rose to ask what the hell she just did. Rose is happy to hear from
her and happy their timelines are synced up now. She asks what Kanaya’s name is.

-Back to John in the present. He’s about to blast off to go find Nanna, but Vriska tells him that
according to the timeline he’s supposed to make a new outfit first.
-They argue for a bit. Vriska is pleased to see that John has started using an aspect of her
typing quirk (typing out 8 of the same letter). John didn’t realize he was doing that.

-Back to Rose. She’s having her 16th conversation with Kanaya; the one we saw before we
started that flashback with Kanaya in the last video.
-Kanaya has just admitted to reading Rose’s walkthrough. Rose apologizes for the melodrama
of the writing. Kanaya says the walkthrough was actually quite helpful to her.
-Rose is still magically tearing apart ancient ruins, by the way. Kanaya is concerned about this.
Specifically, she’s concerned about Rose’s use of dark magic influenced by the gods from the
Furthest Ring.
-Rose says she thinks the gods aren’t as nefarious as they seem. She still has memories of the
alternate timeline Rose (from when Terezi tricked John into getting killed and Dave traveled
back in time to become Davesprite) and that Rose spent quite a lot of time talking to the gods in
her sleep.
-Kanaya says she’s never spoken to the gods; she was a Prospit dreamer. Rose is surprised to
hear that.
-Kanaya admits that she thinks Rose might be dangerous. She encourages Rose to go back
home so they can design new outfits together and have fun.
-Kanaya says that she can’t see Rose in the future; the viewport goes black after a certain point.
But only for Rose, not the others. Whatever causes this will happen in several hours.
-Rose says that Kanaya is trying to “pacify” her, which makes Kanaya realize she’s headed
towards a moirallegiance with Rose. Recalling the similar relationship she had with Vriska
(where she was Vriska’s moirail but actually had flushed feelings for her) Kanaya quickly
changes her attitude and tells Rose to do whatever she wants.
-Rose is confused by this but Kanaya doesn’t say anything further and changes the subject.
-Rose asks Kanaya what she knows about the Green Sun. Kanaya has never heard of it.
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 4
Pages 2732 to 2771

(original comment)

-John dumps out his sylladex to see what he can use to make a new outfit.
-Vriska notices that he has a frog. She comments that it’s really early in the game for him to be
finding frogs.
-Vriska ends up designing an outfit for John that looks a lot like her own outfit.
-John says bye to Vriska for now; he has to hurry up and get Jade into the game.
-Dave messages John. He’s been doing some time travel and he’s Dave from the near future.
Also he needs to borrow some boondollars from John. Actually, all of his boondollars. He
promises to pay John back though.
-John asks how far in the future Dave is from, since they’ve only got about 24 hours until they
lose the game. Dave confirms that’s the case, but he’s been hopping around through time for
about three times that length from his own perspective.
-John is confused. Doesn’t time travel create alternate realities, like with Davesprite? Dave
explains stable time loops to John. There are actually a bunch of Daves running around from
different points in time.
-John asks what the future is like. Dave says Jack Noir is out of control, Rose is crazy, and Jade
is crazier. Also they’re doing a lot of planning with the trolls.
-Dave demands John’s money again. He’s been using time travel to manipulate the stock
market in his land and make a ton of money. He promises to return John’s loan with interest in
an hour.

-Switching over to Dave’s perspective.

-A bunch of Daves are hanging out with some crocodiles in the Land of Heat and Clockwork’s
Stock Exchange.
-Dave receives John’s fund transfer and it is immediately funneled into Dave’s many accounts
and increases exponentially.
-Terezi messages Dave to let him know he’s made enough money now. Also she’s made some
more terrible art for him. He is thrilled.
-Terezi instructs Dave to wire his boondollars to her account. A very specific amount: 413
boonbonds. She’s very insistent about it.
-Dave asks what the deal is with the number 413. He’s seen it a few times by now. Terezi says
they are the numerals of the blind prophets, but she’s not entirely sure what that means.
-Terezi further instructs Dave that the funds must be wired to her account exactly 6 hours and
12 minutes into her past.
-Dave sends Terezi his own terrible art. She loves it.
-Dave sends the boonbonds to Past Terezi.
-About 6 hours ago, Terezi stands on the meteor all the trolls have just fled to after escaping the
“demon”. She turns to face Skaia. She’s happy to smell that Prospit is still okay.
-Suddenly Prospit explodes with neon green energy.
-Terezi heads back into the lab to report the destruction of Prospit. She walks in on Kanaya
severing Tavros’s legs, Equius watching, and Karkat passed out on the floor. Business as usual.
-Terezi opens up a memo to let everyone know what happened, but she’s interrupted by herself
from 3 minutes in the future.
-Future Tavros is surprised to hear this. He’s been too busy testing out his new robot legs to
figure out what happened to Prospit.
-Future Vriska pops in to mock everyone for losing their extra lives (their dreamselves). Terezi
says the Derse dreamers are still okay though.
-Future Nepeta says that Derse was just destroyed as well. She’s worried because Feferi was
sleeping at the time and she has not woken up yet.
-Future Terezi closes the memo.
-Current Terezi waits for whatever her future self interrupted her for.
-Suddenly Terezi receives a money transfer. It’s a large and very specific amount. Terezi is
stunned.
-Terezi asks Sollux to trace the source of the transfer. Sollux tells her it’s from someone from the
universe they just created.
-Terezi asks to see what this person looks like. Sollux pulls up a view of baby Dave on the
viewport. They watch Dave throughout his childhood.
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 5 (TBA)
Pages 2772 to 2790

(original comment)

[S] Vriska: Watch street tough maverick with nothing to lose.

Current status:
69/142 videos (48.6%)
2771/5511 pages covered by the Let’s Read (50.3%)
2771/8129 pages of Homestuck total (34.1%)
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 6 (TBA)
Pages 2791 to 2792
[S] Past Karkat: Wake up.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 7 (TBA)

Page 2792
[S] Past Karkat: Wake up.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 8 (TBA)

Page 2792
[S] Past Karkat: Wake up.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 9 (TBA)

Pages 2793 to 2840

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 10 (TBA)

Pages 2841 to 2886
[S] Jade: Wake up.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 11 (TBA)

Pages 2887 to 2927
[S] Jade: Enter.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 12 (TBA)

Pages 2928 to 2984

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 13 (TBA)

Pages 2985 to 3033
[S] ==>
[S] Jade: STRIFE!!!!!!!!

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 14 (TBA)

Pages 3034 to 3074

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 15 (TBA)

Pages 3075 to 3087
[S] John: Enter village.
[S] JOHN. RISE UP.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 16 (TBA)

Pages 3088 to 3132

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 17 (TBA)

Pages 3133 to 3195

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 18 (TBA)

Pages 3196 to 3255

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 19 (TBA)

Pages 3256 to 3297
[S] Wake.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 20 (TBA)

Pages 3298 to 3320

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 21 (TBA)

Pages 3321 to 3349
[S] Kanaya: Return to the core.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 22 (TBA)

Pages 3350 to 3401

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 23 (TBA)

Pages 3402 to 3437

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 24 (TBA)

Pages 3438 to 3461
[S] Equius: Seek the highb100d.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 25 (TBA)

Pages 3462 to 3492
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 26 (TBA)
Pages 3493 to 3545
[S] 3x SHOWDOWN COMBO.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 27 (TBA)

Pages 3546 to 3613

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 28 (TBA)

Pages 3614 to 3635

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 29 (TBA)

Pages 3636 to 3694
[S] All: Behold glory of Zillyhoo.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 30 (TBA)

Pages 3695 to 3696
[S] Seer: Descend.
[S] ==>

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 31 (TBA)

Pages 3697 to 5718
[S] Terezi: Proceed.
[S] Terezi: Read note.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 32 (TBA)

Pages 3719 to 3744
[S] Terezi: Play records.
[S] Terezi: Play tiny record.
[S] Seer: Ascend.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 33 (TBA)

Pages 3745 to 3763
[S] Flip.

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 34 (TBA)

Pages 3764 to 3814
Act 5 (Act 2) Part 35 (TBA)
Pages 3815 to 3848

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 36 (TBA)

Pages 3849 to 3872
[S][o] Tick. Tock.
[S][o] Tick. Tock. Tick…

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 37 (TBA)

Pages 3873 to 3935

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 38 (TBA)

Pages 3936 to 4001
[S][o] ==>

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 39 (TBA)

Pages 4002 to 4084

Act 5 (Act 2) Part 40 (TBA)

Pages 4085 to 4110
[S] Attempt rare and highly dangerous 5x SHOWDOWN COMBO.
[S] Cascade.

Intermission 2
Pages 4111 to 4112
[S] Being intermission 2.

Act 6

Act 6 (Act 1)

Act 6 (Act 1) Part 1 (TBA)

Pages 4113 to 4155
[S] ACT 6
Act 6 (Act 1) Part 2 (TBA)
Pages 4156 to 4181

Act 6 (Act 1) Part 3 (TBA)

Pages 4182 to 4217

Act 6 (Act 1) Part 4 (TBA)

Pages 4218 to 4284
[S] ==>
[S] Jane: Get mail.

Act 6 Intermission 1

Act 6 Intermission 1 Part 1 (TBA)

Pages 4284 to 4345

Act 6 Intermission 1 Part 2 (TBA)

Pages 4346 to 4390
[S][A6I1] Karkat: Mental breakdown.
[S] END OF ACT 6 INTERMISSION 1

Act 6 (Act 2)

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 1 (TBA)

Pages 4391 to 4436

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 2 (TBA)

Pages 4437 to 4469

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 3 (TBA)

Pages 4470 to 4516
[S] Roxy: Sleepwalk.

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 4 (TBA)

Pages 4517 to 4568
[S] RAP-OFF!!!!!!!!

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 5 (TBA)

Pages 4569 to 4617
[S] Prince of Heart: Rise up.
[S] Frigglish: Fast forward to Jaspersprite.

Act 6 (Act 2) Part 6 (TBA)

Pages 4618 to 4666
[S] Jane: Enter.

Act 6 Intermission 2

Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 1 (TBA)

Pages 4667 to 4727

Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 2 (TBA)

Pages 4728 to 4759

Act 6 Intermission 2 Part 3 (TBA)

Pages 4760 to 4819
[S][A6I2] ???

Act 6 (Act 3)

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 1 (TBA)

Pages 4820 to 4837
[S] ACT 6 ACT 3
[S] Jane: Proceed.
[S] Jane: Cautiously approach.

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 2 (TBA)

Pages 4838 to 4877

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 3 (TBA)

Pages 4878 to 4924
Act 6 (Act 3) Part 4 (TBA)
Pages 4925 to 4950
[S] DD: Ascend.
[S] DD: Ascend more casually.

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 5 (TBA)

Pages 4951 to 4982

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 6 (TBA)

Pages 4983 to 5028
[S] Terry: Fast forward to Liv.

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 7 (TBA)

Pages 5029 to 5084

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 8 (TBA)

Pages 5085 to 5136

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 9 (TBA)

Pages 5137 to 5202

Act 6 (Act 3) Part 10 (TBA)

Pages 5203 to 5262
[S] Dirk: Synchronize.
[S] Dirk: Unite.
[S] Caliborn: Enter.

Act 6 Intermission 3

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 1 (TBA)

Page 5263
[S] ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 2 (TBA)

Page 5263
[S] ACT 6 INTERMISSION 3
Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 3 (TBA)
Pages 5264 to 5307

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 4 (TBA)

Page 5308
[S][A6I3] ==>

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 5 (TBA)

Page 5308
[S][A6I3] ==>

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 6 (TBA)

Pages 5309 to 5397
[S][A6I3] ==>
[S][A6I3] ==>
[S][A6I3] ==>
[S][A6I3] ==>

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 7 (TBA)

Page 5398
[S][A6I3] ==>

Act 6 Intermission 3 Part 8 (TBA)

Page 5398
[S][A6I3] ==>

Act 6 intermission 3 Part 9 (TBA)

Pages 5399 to 5437
[S][A6I3] ⇒
[S][A6I3] MINISTRIFE!!!

Act 6 (Act 4)
Pages 5438 to 5439
[S] ACT 6 ACT 4
Act 6 Intermission 4
Pages 5441 to 5511
[S] ==>
[S][A6I4] ==>
[S][A6I4] ==>
[S][A6I4] ==>
[S][A6I4] ==>
[S][A6I4] ==>
[S!][A6I4] ==>
[!!!][A6I4] ==>
No more videos after this point yet. Voxus still has to cover:

Act 6 (Act 5) - pages 5512-5926

Act 6 Intermission 5 - pages 5927-6242
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 1)) - pages 6243-6277
Act 6 (Act 6 Intermission 1) - pages 6278-6474
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 2)) - pages 6475-6530
Act 6 (Act 6 Intermission 2) - pages 6531-6852
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 3)) - pages 6853-6900
Act 6 (Act 6 Intermission 3) - pages 6901-6920
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 4)) - pages 6921-6943
Act 6 (Act 6 Intermission 4) - pages 6944-7408
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 5)) - pages 7409-7448
Act 6 (Act 6 Intermission 5) - pages 7449-8087
Act 6 (Act 6 (Act 6)) - pages 8088-8126
Act 7 - pages 8127-8128
Credits - page 8129
Epilogues maybe?
Homestuck^2 maybe?

On average, each video covers about 39.9 pages, so it’ll take them another 66 videos or so to
finish Homestuck.

I bet a lot of newcomers think I’m making up all that Act 6 nonsense. I promise that I’m not. Act
6 is literally half of Homestuck.