Personal Development_m8 (1)
Personal Development_m8 (1)
Personal Development
Module 8:
Personal Relationships
LU_Personal Development_Module8
AIRs - LM
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT 11/12
Module 8: Personal Relationships
Second Edition, 2021
Copyright © 2021
La Union Schools Division
Region I
All rights reserved. No part of this module may be reproduced in any form without written
permission from the copyright owners.
Management Team:
Personal Development
Module 8:
Personal Relationships
Introductory Message
This Self-Learning Module (SLM) is prepared so that you, our dear
learners, can continue your studies and learn while at home. Activities,
questions, directions, exercises, and discussions are carefully stated for you
to understand each lesson.
Each SLM is composed of different parts. Each part shall guide you
step-by-step as you discover and understand the lesson prepared for you.
In addition to the material in the main text, Notes to the Teacher are
also provided to our facilitators and parents for strategies and reminders on
how they can best help you on your home-based learning.
Please use this module with care. Do not put unnecessary marks on
any part of this SLM. Use a separate sheet of paper in answering the exercises
and tests. And read the instructions carefully before performing each task.
Thank you.
Target
Relationships are the framework of our lives. Therefore, how contented we are
whether we are friends or family, associated romantically or connected by way of
careers lies on how fulfilled our relationships are.
Relationships are not static; they are continually evolving. And to fully enjoy
and benefit from them, we need skills, information, inspiration, practice, and social
support. Attraction, love and commitment together with attachment and intimacy are
the keys to achieve and maintain meaningful relationships.
Good relationships are fun and make you feel good about yourself. The
relationships that you make in your youthful years will be a special part of your life
and will teach you some of the most important lessons about who you are. Truly good
relationships take time and energy to develop. All relationships should be based on
respect and honesty and this is especially important when you decide to date some.
In the first two units, we discussed the individual. We talked about the learner,
and his/her strengths and limitations, stages of development and challenges, stress
management, mental and emotional development. In this unit, we shall talk about
the learner’s relationships with significant persons in his/her life, ways of showing
attraction, love, and commitment and the rights and responsibilities associated with
healthy relationships.
After studying this learning material and accomplishing all the activities, you will
be able to:
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A. discuss an understanding of teenage relationships, including the acceptable
and unacceptable expressions of attractions (EsP-PD11/12PRIIa-9.1)
B. express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment
(EsPPD11/12PR-IIa-9.2)
C. identify ways to become responsible in a relationship (EsP-PD11/12PR-IIb9.3)
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Jumpstart
The response is very clear, well organized and free from spelling and 3
grammatical errors.
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Discover
PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
The concept of relationship is very broad and complex. In our model, personal
relationships refer to close connections between people, formed by emotional bonds
and interactions. These bonds often grow from and are strengthened by mutual
experiences.
Relationships are not static; they are continually evolving and to fully enjoy and
benefit from them we need skills, information, inspiration, practice, and social
support. In our model there are three kinds of personal relationships:
1. Family
The concept of "family" is an essential component in any discussion of
relationships, but this varies greatly from person to person. The Bureau of the
Census defines family as "two or more persons who are related by birth, marriage,
or adoption and who live together as one household". But many people have
family but they don't live with or to whom they are not bonded by love and the
roles of family vary across cultures as well as throughout your own lifetime. Some
typical characteristics of a family are support, mutual trust, regular interactions,
shared beliefs and values, security, and a sense of community.
Although the concept of "family" is one of the oldest in human nature, its
definition has evolved considerably in the past three decades. Non-traditional
family structures and roles can provide as much comfort and support as
traditional forms.
2. Friends
A friendship can be thought as a close tie between two people that is often
built upon mutual experiences, shared interests, proximity, and emotional
bonding.
Friends are able to turn to each other in times of need. Nicholas Christakis
and James Fowler, social-network researchers and authors of the book
Connected, find that the average person has about six close ties—though some
have more, and many have only one or none.
Note that online friends don’t count toward close ties—research indicates that
a large online network isn’t nearly as powerful as having a few close, real-life
friends.
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3. Partnerships
Romantic partnerships, including marriage, are close relationships formed
between two people that were built upon affection, trust, intimacy, and romantic
love. We usually experience this kind of relationship with only one person at a
time.
Importance of Relationships
1. Relationships maintain happiness and health.
A positive correlation between happiness and relationships exists. Sadness,
which can be due to problems such as despair, marital argument, family hostility,
and job discontent, at times result from a lack of attention on relations or badly
handled relationship troubles. Nevertheless; family, friends, and associates can
play as social support and assist in getting through the stresses and confronts of
life.
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emotionally secured. Affection relates to our need to give and receive love and to
experience intimate relationships.
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In a healthy relationship, both partners:
✓ are treated with kindness and respect.
✓ are honest with each other.
✓ like to spend time together.
✓ take an interest in things that are important to each other.
✓ respect one another’s emotional, physical and sexual limits.
✓ can speak honestly about their feelings.
Romantic Relationships
The love we feel for the person we have a romantic relationship with that is
different from our love for friends or family. When a person enters into a marriage,
we naturally anticipate it to be enduring and that anticipation or permanence, at
least in part, differentiates a romantic relationship with others.
Dimensions of Love
1. Passionate love is what we feel when we first fall in love; it shows our attraction
and focus on a single person, while some succeed to withstand possible love or
over a lifespan; it often declines in intensity over time.
2. Companionate love intensifies over time. As a couple’s feeling of trust and caring
for one another nurtures, they involve themselves in one another’s life and
reciprocally react to each other’s needs.
Kinds of Love
1. Pragma is a style of love that emphasizes the practical aspects of love. It is an
arranged marriage.
2. Mania is a style of love characterized by volatility, insecurity, and possessiveness.
It is more likely an obsessive love.
3. Agape is an altruistic, selfless love. It has spiritual value, frequently described as
pure.
4. Eros is a sexual love that carries couples together.
5. Ludis refers to a style of loving that emphasizes the game of seduction and fun
where partners do not see their relationship as permanent.
6. Storge in comparison is the love we have for good friends and family members. It
does not contain sex at all, although at one time or another, we may find
ourselves sexual attraction.
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ATTRACTION, LOVE, AND COMMITMENT
Researchers have found out that relationships are essential to one’s happiness
(Berscheid 1985; Berscheid and Reis 1998, Larsen, Ommundsen, and van Der Veer).
To achieve and maintain happiness on relationship, it must consists these following
components. These are attraction, love and commitment with attachment and
intimacy.
I. Attraction is the first stage in a continuum stages that lead intimacy and
commitment according from the British Company (BBC) website under Science:
Human Body and Mind. Attraction also involves our unconscious assessment of
another person’s genes through their physical appearance. And it is believed that
these genes are usually determinants of good health that will also produce healthy
children. The Rozenberg Quarterly mentions several theories and research results
related to attraction and liking. These are:
1. Transference Effect is a phenomenon characterized by unconscious redirection of
feelings from one person to another.
2. Propinquity Effect is the tendency for people to form friendships or romantic
relationships with those whom they encounter often, forming a bond between
subject and friend.
3. Similarity is the state of being similar; likeness; resemblance. It is an aspect, trait
or feature like or resembling another or another’s characteristic like similarity of
diction.
4. Reciprocity, in social psychology, reciprocity is a social rule that says people
should repay, in kind, what another person has provided for them.
5. Physical Attractiveness is the degree which a person’s physical features are
considered aesthetically pleasing or beautiful. It often implies sexual
attractiveness or desirably or can also be distinct from either.
II. Love is a feeling of deep affection, passion, or strong liking for a person or thing
(http://www.youdictionary.com/love). There are three different components of
love as theorized by Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love. These three are
intimacy, commitment, and love. Love relationships vary depending on the
presence or absence of each of these components.
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Three Components of Love
1. Intimacy
Researchers, Reis, Clark, and Holmes (2004), and Reis and Shaver (1998)
defined intimacy as “that lovely moment when someone understand and validate
us.” It involves feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness. Intimacy
involves the ability the share feelings, personal thoughts and psychological
closeness with the other.
2. Passion
It is defined in genetic terms that is the intense state of being that drives and
consumes a person to pursue an interest, a vision, or a person. It involves feelings
and desires that lead to physical attraction, romance, and sexual consummation.
Passion refers to the intense, physical attraction partners feel toward one another.
3. Decision/Commitment
It is an act of deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements made with
another person, entity, of cause, and where the values of integrity and respect
serve as a guide to one’s behavior and thinking. Commitment in a love
relationship is expressed continuously in caring and loving actions for the
beloved. It involves feelings that lead a person to remain with someone and move
toward shared goals. Commitment is the conscious decision to stay together.
Figure shows the Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love which creates 8 Types
of Love which are as follows:
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5. Infatuation - It is the type of love that has passion alone.
6. Liking - It is the type of love that has intimacy alone.
7. Empty love - It is the type of love that has commitment alone.
8. Non-love - It is the absence of the three components of love.
III. Commitment is the continuing process of showing love and care; fulfilling the
promises or agreements made with each other; and through bad times and good
times, the commitment stays firm and in place. Psychologists have conducted
research on commitment and have identified three variables related to it
(Rozenberg Quarterly):
1. Accumulation of all rewards of the relationship
It is considered as the most important determinant of satisfaction in a
relationship, rewards of the relationship include support from the partner; sexual
satisfaction; emotional, financial, physical security; adventure and novelty.
2. Temptation of alternative partners
It is the presence of possible alternatives for another partner can rock the
relationship and destabilize the commitment of a couple.
3. Investments made by the couple in the relationship
It is important in maintaining commitment because these investments may
include time spent together, common beliefs and experiences, mutual experiences
with mutual friends, and bearing children. It was also discovered that religious
beliefs reinforce commitment.
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attitude for this assures fairness and equality. When fairness is perceived, trust
follows.
4. Respect the other party or parties involved. Mutual respect is also essential in a
relationship. Giving respect to each other is a common responsibility of any party
involved in a relationship.
5. Be ready to provide support when needed. Relationships also thrive on the support
given by one party to another. Providing support, either financially, emotionally,
spiritually, or physically, strengthens the bond in a relationship as this is an
expression of one’s commitment to the other party. It is all about the “we’re in
this together” thing in a relationship.
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Explore
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
3. Give ways how to nurture your relationships with the people around you:
Family a.
b.
c.
Siblings a.
b.
c.
Friends a.
b.
c.
Description Score
The response is very clear, well organized and free from 3
spelling and grammatical errors.
The response is somewhat clear, somewhat organized and with 2
few spelling and grammatical errors.
The response is not clear organized and with a lot of spelling 1
and grammatical errors.
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Activity 3: Real life situations
Directions: Cite at least 2 real life situations on how the three components of
personal relationship; attraction, love and commitment are applied. Explain
each scenario in NOT more than 5 sentences.
1. Scenario 1:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Explanation:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
2. Scenario 2
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Explanation:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Description Score
The response is very clear, well organized and free from 3
spelling and grammatical errors
The response is somewhat clear, somewhat organized and with 2
few spelling and grammatical errors
The response is not clear organized and with a lot of spelling 1
and grammatical errors
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Deepen
Scenario 1: Marissa and Jun are going to watch a movie on their third date.
However; Marissa wants her two friends to come with them but
Jun refused otherwise their date will be off.
Questions:
a. Why do you think Marissa wants to date with her friends along?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
b. Why do you think Jun wants to be alone with Marissa?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
c. What should Marissa do? Go to the movie with Jun without her friends or
accept that the date is off? Justify your answer.
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Scenario 2: May and Henry have been dating for three months. Henry
started to realize that May always picks the place where they
should go like which mall to go shopping, where to eat, what
movies to watch, etc. Henry is beginning to feel that May does
not listen to his suggestions.
Questions:
a. Why is Henry upset about not choosing where to go on a date?
___________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________
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b. Do you think this kind of relationship is okay?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
c. What must Henry do that his suggestions also be considered at times?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Description Score
The response is very clear, well organized and free from 3
spelling and grammatical errors.
The response is somewhat clear, somewhat organized and with 2
few spelling and grammatical errors.
The response is not clear organized and with a lot of spelling 1
and grammatical errors.
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Activity 5: Slogan on My Basic Rights in Relationships
Directions: On a short bond paper, sketch, draw, or design a poster which
shows one’s basic rights in a relationship. Here’s a sample:
“There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some
who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other.”
- Daphne Emmett
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Gauge
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2. What are three components of personal relationship?
A. attachment, intimacy, and passion
B. attachment, love, and passion
C. attraction, commitment, and love
D. commitment, intimacy, and passion
3. Which of the following is NOT a way of expressing commitment in a relationship?
A. Practice gratitude B. Be compassionate
C. Learn to forgive D. Get jealous, it’s a sign of love
4. What should you consider when making decisions around sex and sexual limits?
A. your values B. your family
C. your friends D. all of the given choices
5. Which of the following is a sign of healthy and responsible relationship?
A. Your partner hurts you physically or emotionally.
B. You are forced to do something that you’re not comfortable with.
C. Your partner undermines your decisions about pregnancy and parenting.
D. Your partner supports you and your choices – even when they disagree with
you.
6. Which of the following are signs that you may be in an abusive relationship?
A. Accepting one’s imperfections B. Spending time together
C. Connecting with the family D. Apologizing for your partner’ behavior
7. Which of following is the purest form of love?
A. Agape B. Eros C. Pragma D. Storge
8. Which love do you show to friends?
A. Agape B. Ludis C. Mania D. Storge
9. Which theories of attraction is defined as a phenomenon characterized by
unconscious redirection of feelings from one person to another?
A. Propinquity effect B. Similarity
C. Reciprocity D. Transference effect
10. Which theories of attraction is defined as the state of having being similar trait
or feature like or resembling another or another’s characteristic?
A. Physical attractiveness B. Similarity
C. Reciprocity D. Transference effect
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Activity 1
Answers may vary
Activity 2
Answers may vary
Activity 3
Answers may vary
Activity 4
Answers may vary
Activity 5
Answers may vary
Activity 6
1. TRUE
2. TRUE
3. TRUE
4. FALSE
5. TRUE
6. TRUE
7. FALSE
8. TRUE
9. TRUE
10. FALSE
Activity 7
1. D
2. D
3. D
4. D
5. D
6. D
7. A
8. D
9. D
10. B
Answer Key
References
Printed Materials
Santos, Ricardo Rubio. 2016. Personal Development. Philippines: REX Book Store, 865
Nicanor Reyes, Sr. St. Manila.
Websites
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory and The 7 Types of Love by Marni Feuerman (January 05,
2020). Retrieved July 24, 2020 from https://www.verywellmind.com/types-oflove-we-
experience-2303200
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For inquiries or feedback, please write or call:
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