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MANUAL
2013-2017
HISTORY
CONSTITUTION
GOVERNMENT
RITUAL
NAZARENE PUBLISHING HOUSE
Kansas City, Missouri, U.S.A.
Copyright 2013
by Nazarene Publishing House
Published by the authority of
the Twenty-eighth General Assembly
held in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S.A.
June 23-27, 2013
Editing Committee
DEAN G. BLEVINS
STANLEY J. RODES
JOHN E. SEAMAN
TERRY S. SOWDEN
DAVID P. WILSON
© 2014 eISBN 978-0-8341-3296-2
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical,
or any other—except for brief quotations in printed reviews, without
the prior written permission of the publisher. If you have received
this publication from any source other than an online bookstore,
you’ve received a pirated copy. Please contact us at the Nazarene
Publishing House and notify us of the situation.
Printed in the United States of America
All scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version® (NIV®).
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of
Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
The seal and logo of the Church of the Nazarene are registered trademarks of the Church
of the Nazarene, Inc. Use or reproduction thereof, without the expressed, written consent of
the Church of the Nazarene, Inc. is strictly prohibited.
CHURCH CONSTITUTION
AND THE COVENANT OF
CHRISTIAN CONDUCT
(1-99 Series)
LOCAL GOVERNMENT
(100 Series)
DISTRICT GOVERNMENT
(200 Series)
GENERAL GOVERNMENT
(300 Series)
HIGHER EDUCATION
(400 Series)
MINISTRY AND CHRISTIAN SERVICE
(500 Series)
JUDICIAL ADMINISTRATION
(600 Series)
RITUAL
(800 Series)
NAZARENE YOUTH INTERNATIONAL,
NAZARENE MISSIONS INTERNATIONAL AND,
SUNDAY SCHOOL AND DISCIPLESHIP
MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL
CHARTER & MINISTRY PLANS/CONSTITUTION/BYLAWS
(800 Series)
FORMS
(800 Series)
APPENDIX
(900 Series)
FOREWORD
“The mission of the Church of the Nazarene is to make
Christlike disciples in the nations.”
“The primary objective of the Church of the Nazarene is to
advance God’s kingdom by the preservation and propagation
of Christian holiness as set forth in the Scriptures.”
“The critical objectives of the Church of the Nazarene are
‘holy Christian fellowship, the conversion of sinners, the en-
tire sanctification of believers, their upbuilding in holiness,
and the simplicity and spiritual power manifest in the prim-
itive New Testament Church, together with the preaching of
the gospel to every creature.’” (19)
The Church of the Nazarene exists to serve as an instru-
ment for advancing the kingdom of God through the preach-
ing and teaching of the gospel throughout the world. Our
well-defined commission is to preserve and propagate Chris-
tian holiness as set forth in the Scriptures, through the con-
version of sinners, the reclamation of backsliders, and the
entire sanctification of believers.
Our objective is a spiritual one, namely, to evangelize as
a response to the Great Commission of our Lord to “go and
make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19; cf. John 20:21;
Mark 16:15). We believe that this aim can be realized through
agreed-upon policies and procedures, including doctrinal te-
nets of faith and time-tested standards of morality and life-
style.
This 2013-2017 edition of the Manual includes a brief
historical statement of the church; the church Constitution,
which defines our Articles of Faith, our understanding of the
church, the Covenant of Christian Character for holy living,
and principles of organization and government; the Covenant
of Christian Conduct, which address key issues of contempo-
rary society; and policies of church government dealing with
the local, district, and general church organization.
The General Assembly is the supreme doctrine-formulat-
ing and lawmaking body of the Church of the Nazarene. This
Manual contains the decisions and judgments of ministerial
and lay delegates of the Twenty-eighth General Assembly,
which met in Indianapolis, Indiana, U.S.A., June 23-27, 2013,
and is therefore authoritative as a guide for action. Because it
is the official statement of the faith and practice of the church
and is consistent with the teachings of the Scriptures, we ex-
pect our people everywhere to accept the tenets of doctrine
and the guides and helps to holy living contained in it. To fail
to do so, after formally taking the membership vows of the
Church of the Nazarene, injures the witness of the church,
violates her conscience, and dissipates the fellowship of the
people called Nazarenes.
The government of the Church of the Nazarene is distinc-
tive. In polity it is representative—neither purely episcopal
nor wholly congregational. Because the laity and the minis-
try have equal authority in the deliberative and lawmaking
units of the church, there is a desirable and effective balance
of power. We see this not only as an opportunity for participa-
tion and service in the church but also as an obligation on the
part of both laity and ministry.
Commitment and clear purpose are important. But an intel-
ligent and informed people following commonly agreed-upon
practices and procedures advance the Kingdom faster and en-
hance their witness for Christ. Therefore, it is incumbent upon
our members to acquaint themselves with this Manual—the
history of the church and the doctrines and ethical practices
of the ideal Nazarene. Adherence to the injunctions of these
pages will nurture loyalty and faithfulness both to God and
the church and will increase the effectiveness and efficiency of
our spiritual efforts.
With the Bible as our supreme Guide, illuminated by the
Holy Spirit, and the Manual as our official agreed-upon state-
ment of faith, practice, and polity, we look forward to the new
quadrennium with joy and unswerving faith in Jesus Christ.
The Board of General Superintendents
Jerry D. Porter
David W. Graves
J. K. Warrick
David A. Busic
Eugénio R. Duarte
Gustavo A. Crocker
CONTENTS
Foreword
PART I
Historical Statement
PART II
CHURCH CONSTITUTION
Preamble
Articles of Faith
The Church
Articles of Organization and Government
Amendments
PART III
THE COVENANT OF CHRISTIAN CONDUCT
A. The Christian Life
B. Marriage and Divorce and/or Dissolution of Marriage
C. Sanctity of Human Life
D. Human Sexuality
E. Christian Stewardship
F. Church Officers
G. Rules of Order
H. Amending the Covenant of Christian Conduct
PART IV
GOVERNMENT
Preamble
I. Local Government
A. Local Church Organization, Name, Incorporation,
Property, Restrictions, Mergers, Disorganization
B. Local Church Membership
C. Local Church Evangelism and Church
Membership Committee
D. Change of Local Church Membership
E. Termination of Local Church Membership
F. Local Church Meetings
G. The Local Church Year
H. Calling of a Pastor
I. The Local Church/Pastor Relationship
J. Renewing the Local Church/Pastor Relationship
K. The Local Church Board
L. The Stewards of the Local Church
M.The Trustees of the Local Church
N. The Local Church Sunday School and
Discipleship Ministries International Board
O. The Local Church Nazarene Youth
International (NYI) Council
P. Nazarene Childcare/Schools (Birth through
Secondary) of the Local Church
Q. The Local Church Nazarene Missions
International
R. Prohibition of Financial Appeals for a Local
Church
S. Use of the Local Church Name
T. Church-sponsored Corporation
U. Associates in the Local Church
II. District Government
A. District Bounds and Name
B. Membership and Time of District Assembly
C. Business of the District Assembly
D. The District Assembly Journal
E. The District Superintendent
F. The District Secretary
G. The District Treasurer
H. The District Advisory Board
I. The District Ministerial Credentials Board
J. The District Ministerial Studies Board
K. The District Evangelism Board or Director
of Evangelism
L. The District Church Properties Board
M.The District Assembly Finance Committee
N. The District Advisory Committee
O. The District Chaplaincy Director
P. The District Sunday School and Discipleship
Ministries International Board
Q. The District Nazarene Youth International
R. The District Nazarene Missions International
S. District Paid Assistants
T. Disorganization of a District
III. General Government
A. General Assembly Functions and Organization
B. Membership of the General Assembly
C. The Time and Place of General Assembly
D. Special Sessions of the General Assembly
E. General Assembly Arrangements Committee
F. Business of the General Assembly
G. The General Superintendents
H. General Superintendents Emeriti and Retired
I. The Board of General Superintendents
J. The General Secretary
K. The General Treasurer
L. The General Board
M.Pension Plans
N. Nazarene Publishing House Board
O. The General Christian Action Committee
P. Committee on the Interests of the God-Called
Evangelist
Q. International Course of Study Advisory Committee
R. The Global Nazarene Youth International
S. The Global Council of the Global Nazarene
Missions International
T. National Boards
U. The Region
PART V
HIGHER EDUCATION
A. Church and College/University
B. Global Nazarene Education Consortium
C. International Board of Education
PART VI
MINISTRY AND CHRISTIAN SERVICE
I. Call and Qualifications of the Minister
II. Categories and Roles of Ministry
A. The Lay Minister
B. Ministry of the Members of the Clergy
C. The Administrator
D. The Chaplain
E. The Deaconess
F. The Educator
G. The Evangelist
H. The Minister of Christian Education
I. The Minister of Music
J. The Missionary
K. The Pastor
L. The Interim Pastor
M.The Song Evangelist
N. Special Service
III. Education for Ministers
A. For Ministers
B. General Guidelines for Preparation for
Christian Ministry
IV. Credentials and Ministerial Regulations
A. The Local Minister
B. The Licensed Minister
C. The Deacon
D. The Elder
E. The Recognition of Credentials
F. The Retired Minister
G. The Transfer of Ministers
H. General Regulations
I. The Resignation or Removal from the Ministry
J. The Restoration of Members of the Clergy to
Church Membership and Good Standing
PART VII
JUDICIAL ADMINISTRATION
I. Investigation of Possible Wrongful Conduct and
Church Discipline
II. Response to Possible Misconduct
III. Response to Misconduct by a Person in a Position
of Trust or Authority
IV. Contested Discipline of a Layperson
V. Contested Discipline of a Member of the Clergy
VI. Rules of Procedure
VII. District Court of Appeals
VIII. General Court of Appeals
IX. Regional Court of Appeals
X. Guaranty of Rights
PART VIII
RITUAL
I. The Sacrament of Baptism
A. The Baptism of Believers
B. The Baptism of Infants or Young Children
C. The Dedication of Infants or Young Children
D. The Dedication of Infants or Young Children
(for single parent or guardian)
II. The Reception of Church Members
III. The Sacrament of the Lord’s Supper
IV. Matrimony
V. The Funeral Service
VI. The Organization of a Local Church
VII. Installation of Officers
VIII. Church Dedications
PART IX
NAZARENE YOUTH INTERNATIONAL (NYI),
NAZARENE MISSIONS INTERNATIONAL (NMI),
AND SUNDAY SCHOOL AND DISCIPLESHIP
MINISTRIES INTERNATIONAL (SDMI)
CHARTER & MINISTRY PLANS/CONSTITUTION/BYLAWS
I. Charter & Ministry Plans for Nazarene Youth
International
II. Constitution for Nazarene Missions International
III. Bylaws of the Sunday School and
Discipleship Ministries International
PART X
FORMS
I. The Local Church
II. The District Assembly
III. Bills of Charges
PART XI
APPENDIX
I. General Officers
II. Administrative Boards, Councils, and
Educational Institutions
III. Administrative Policies
IV. Current Moral and Social Issues
Special Revision Index
Index of Vacant Paragraphs
Manual Index
PART I
Historical Statement
HISTORICAL STATEMENT
Historic Christianity
and the Wesleyan-Holiness Heritage
One Holy Faith. The Church of the Nazarene, from its be-
ginnings, has confessed itself to be a branch of the “one, holy,
universal, and apostolic” church and has sought to be faithful
to it. It confesses as its own the history of the people of God
recorded in the Old and New Testaments, and that same his-
tory as it has extended from the days of the apostles to our
own. As its own people, it embraces the people of God through
the ages, those redeemed through Jesus Christ in whatever
expression of the one church they may be found. It receives
the ecumenical creeds of the first five Christian centuries as
expressions of its own faith. While the Church of the Naza-
rene has responded to its special calling to proclaim the doc-
trine and experience of entire sanctification, it has taken care
to retain and nurture identification with the historic church
in its preaching of the Word, its administration of the sacra-
ments, its concern to raise up and maintain a ministry that
is truly apostolic in faith and practice, and its inculcating of
disciplines for Christlike living and service to others.
The Wesleyan Revival. This Christian faith has been medi-
ated to Nazarenes through historical religious currents and
particularly through the Wesleyan revival of the 18th cen-
tury. In the 1730s the broader Evangelical Revival arose in
Britain, directed chiefly by John Wesley, his brother Charles,
and George Whitefield, clergymen in the Church of England.
Through their instrumentality, many other men and wom-
en turned from sin and were empowered for the service of
God. This movement was characterized by lay preaching, tes-
timony, discipline, and circles of earnest disciples known as
“societies,” “classes,” and “bands.” As a movement of spiritu-
al life, its antecedents included German Pietism, typified by
Philip Jacob Spener; 17th-century English Puritanism; and
a spiritual awakening in New England described by the pas-
tor-theologian Jonathan Edwards.
The Wesleyan phase of the great revival was character-
ized by three theological landmarks: regeneration by grace
through faith; Christian perfection, or sanctification, likewise
by grace through faith; and the witness of the Spirit to the
assurance of grace. Among John Wesley’s distinctive contri-
butions was an emphasis on entire sanctification in this life
as God’s gracious provision for the Christian. British Meth-
odism’s early missionary enterprises began disseminating
these theological emphases worldwide. In North America,
the Methodist Episcopal Church was organized in 1784. Its
stated purpose was “to reform the Continent, and to spread
scriptural Holiness over these Lands.”
The Holiness Movement of the 19th Century. In the 19th
century a renewed emphasis on Christian holiness began in
the Eastern United States and spread throughout the nation.
Timothy Merritt, Methodist clergyman and founding editor
of the Guide to Christian Perfection, was among the leaders
of the holiness revival. The central figure of the movement
was Phoebe Palmer of New York City, leader of the Tuesday
Meeting for the Promotion of Holiness, at which Methodist
bishops, educators, and other clergy joined the original group
of women in seeking holiness. During four decades, Mrs.
Palmer promoted the Methodist phase of the holiness move-
ment through public speaking, writing, and as editor of the
influential Guide to Holiness.
The holiness revival spilled outside the bounds of Meth-
odism. Charles G. Finney and Asa Mahan, both of Oberlin
College, led the renewed emphasis on holiness in Presbyte-
rian and Congregationalist circles, as did revivalist William
Boardman. Baptist evangelist A. B. Earle was among the
leaders of the holiness movement within his denomination.
Hannah Whitall Smith, a Quaker and popular holiness reviv-
alist, published The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life (1875),
a classic text in Christian spirituality.
In 1867 Methodist ministers John A. Wood, John Inskip,
and others began at Vineland, New Jersey, the first of a long
series of national camp meetings. They also organized at that
time the National Camp Meeting Association for the Promo-
tion of Holiness, commonly known as the National Holiness
Association (now the Christian Holiness Partnership). Until
the early years of the 20th century, this organization spon-
sored holiness camp meetings throughout the United States.
Local and regional holiness associations also appeared, and
a vital holiness press published many periodicals and books.
The witness to Christian holiness played roles of vary-
ing significance in the founding of the Wesleyan Methodist
Church (1843), the Free Methodist Church (1860), and, in En-
gland, the Salvation Army (1865). In the 1880s new distinc-
tively holiness churches sprang into existence, including the
Church of God (Anderson, Indiana) and the Church of God
(Holiness). Several older religious traditions were also influ-
enced by the holiness movement, including certain groups of
Mennonites, Brethren, and Friends that adopted the Wes-
leyan-holiness view of entire sanctification. The Brethren in
Christ Church and the Evangelical Friends Alliance are ex-
amples of this blending of spiritual traditions.
Uniting of Holiness Groups
In the 1890s a new wave of independent holiness entities
came into being. These included independent churches, urban
missions, rescue homes, and missionary and evangelistic as-
sociations. Some of the people involved in these organizations
yearned for union into a national holiness church. Out of that
impulse the present-day Church of the Nazarene was born.
The Association of Pentecostal Churches of America. On
July 21, 1887, the People’s Evangelical Church was organized
with 51 members at Providence, Rhode Island, with Fred A.
Hillery as pastor. The following year the Mission Church at
Lynn, Massachusetts, was organized with C. Howard Davis as
pastor. On March 13 and 14, 1890, representatives from these
and other independent holiness congregations met at Rock,
Massachusetts, and organized the Central Evangelical Holi-
ness Association with churches in Rhode Island, New Hamp-
shire, and Massachusetts. In 1892, the Central Evangelical
Holiness Association ordained Anna S. Hanscombe, believed
to be the first of many women ordained to the Christian min-
istry in the parent bodies of the Church of the Nazarene.
In January 1894, businessman William Howard Hoople
founded a Brooklyn mission, reorganized the following May
as Utica Avenue Pentecostal Tabernacle. By the end of the
following year, Bedford Avenue Pentecostal Church and
Emmanuel Pentecostal Tabernacle were also organized. In
December 1895, delegates from these three congregations
adopted a constitution, a summary of doctrines, and bylaws,
forming the Association of Pentecostal Churches of America.
On November 12, 1896, a joint committee of the Central
Evangelical Holiness Association and the Association of Pen-
tecostal Churches of America met in Brooklyn and framed a
plan of union, retaining the name of the latter for the united
body. Prominent workers in this denomination were Hiram
F. Reynolds, H. B. Hosley, C. Howard Davis, William Howard
Hoople, and, later, E. E. Angell. Some of these were originally
lay preachers who were later ordained as ministers by their
congregations. This church was decidedly missionary, and
under the leadership of Hiram F. Reynolds, missionary secre-
tary, embarked upon an ambitious program of Christian wit-
ness to the Cape Verde Islands, India, and other places. The
Beulah Christian was published as its official paper.
The Holiness Church of Christ. In July 1894, R. L. Har-
ris organized the New Testament Church of Christ at Milan,
Tennessee, shortly before his death. Mary Lee Cagle, wid-
ow of R. L. Harris, continued the work and became its most
prominent early leader. This church, strictly congregational
in polity, spread throughout Arkansas and western Texas,
with scattered congregations in Alabama and Missouri. Mary
Cagle and a coworker, Mrs. E. J. Sheeks, were ordained in
1899 in the first class of ordinands.
Beginning in 1888, a handful of congregations bearing the
name The Holiness Church were organized in Texas by min-
isters Thomas and Dennis Rogers, who came from California.
In 1901 the first congregation of the Independent Holi-
ness Church was formed at Van Alstyne, Texas, by Charles
B. Jernigan. At an early date, James B. Chapman affiliated
with this denomination, which prospered and grew rapidly.
In time, the congregations led by Dennis Rogers affiliated
with the Independent Holiness Church.
In November 1904, representatives of the New Testament
Church of Christ and the Independent Holiness Church met
at Rising Star, Texas, where they agreed upon principles
of union, adopted a Manual, and chose the name Holiness
Church of Christ. This union was finalized the following year
at a delegated general council held at Pilot Point, Texas. The
Holiness Evangel was the church’s official paper. Its other
leading ministers included William E. Fisher, J. D. Scott, and
J. T. Upchurch. Among its key lay leaders were Edwin H.
Sheeks, R. B. Mitchum, and Mrs. Donie Mitchum.
Several leaders of this church were active in the Holiness
Association of Texas, a vital interdenominational body that
sponsored a college at Peniel, near Greenville, Texas. The as-
sociation also sponsored the Pentecostal Advocate, the South-
west’s leading holiness paper, which became a Nazarene or-
gan in 1910. E. C. DeJernett, a minister, and C. A. McConnell,
a layman, were prominent workers in this organization.
The Church of the Nazarene. In October 1895, Phineas F.
Bresee, D.D., and Joseph P. Widney, M.D., with about 100 oth-
ers, including Alice P. Baldwin, Leslie F. Gay, W. S. and Lucy P.
Knott, C. E. McKee, and members of the Bresee and Widney
families, organized the Church of the Nazarene at Los An-
geles. At the outset they saw this church as the first of a de-
nomination that preached the reality of entire sanctification
received through faith in Christ. They held that Christians
sanctified by faith should follow Christ’s example and preach
the Gospel to the poor. They felt called especially to this work.
They believed that unnecessary elegance and adornment of
houses of worship did not represent the spirit of Christ but
the spirit of the world, and that their expenditures of time
and money should be given to Christlike ministries for the
salvation of souls and the relief of the needy. They organized
the church accordingly. They adopted general rules, a state-
ment of belief, a polity based on a limited superintendency,
procedures for the consecration of deaconesses and the or-
dination of elders, and a ritual. These were published as a
Manual beginning in 1898. They published a paper known as
The Nazarene and then The Nazarene Messenger. The Church
of the Nazarene spread chiefly along the West Coast, with
scattered congregations east of the Rocky Mountains as far
as Illinois.
Among the ministers who cast their lot with the new church
were H. D. Brown, W. E. Shepard, C. W. Ruth, L. B. Kent, Isa-
iah Reid, J. B. Creighton, C. E. Cornell, Robert Pierce, and W.
C. Wilson. Among the first to be ordained by the new church
were Joseph P. Widney himself, Elsie and DeLance Wallace,
Lucy P. Knott, and E. A. Girvin.
Phineas F. Bresee’s 38 years’ experience as a pastor, super-
intendent, editor, college board member, and camp meeting
preacher in Methodism, and his unique personal magnetism,
entered into the ecclesiastical statesmanship that he brought
to the merging of the several holiness churches into a nation-
al body.
The Year of Uniting: 1907-1908. The Association of Pente-
costal Churches of America, the Church of the Nazarene, and
the Holiness Church of Christ were brought into association
with one another by C. W. Ruth, assistant general superin-
tendent of the Church of the Nazarene, who had extensive
friendships throughout the Wesleyan-holiness movement.
Delegates of the Association of Pentecostal Churches of
America and the Church of the Nazarene convened in gen-
eral assembly at Chicago, from October 10 to 17, 1907. The
merging groups agreed upon a church government that bal-
anced the need for a superintendency with the independence
of local congregations. Superintendents were to foster and
care for churches already established and were to organize
and encourage the organizing of churches everywhere, but
their authority was not to interfere with the independent ac-
tions of an organized church. Further, the General Assembly
adopted a name for the united body drawn from both organi-
zations: The Pentecostal Church of the Nazarene. Phineas F.
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NOT a joke was heard, not a troublesome vote,
As the bills into limbo they hurried;
Not e'en INGLIS discharged a farewell shot,
O'er the grave where the Jew-Bill was buried.
They buried them darkly at dead of night,
For bed all the members yearning;
With the aid of the Speaker to keep them right,
And GREEN'S parliamentary learning.
No vain discussion their life supprest,
Nor did truth nor talk confound them;
They passed a few, and as for the rest,
They burked them just as they found them.
For most of the Session's task was done,
The supplies marked the hour for retiring;
And as August drew near, each son of a gun,
At the grouse, in his dreams, was a-firing.
* * * *
So they settled the Bills—other folks' and their own—
Never destined to figure in story;
They shed not a tear, and they heaved not a groan,
But they burked them alike, Whig and Tory!
Punch, 1850.
A TALE OF A TUB.
NOT a cackle was heard, or matitudinal crow,
As the cask to the orchard they barrowed;
And gently and tenderly laid him below,
Where some ground had been recently harrowed.
The tears trickled slowly down Emma's fair check,
While Ned sobbed aloud in his fustian,
And Marian's feelings forbade her to speak
For fear of spontaneous combustion.
They gazed on his coat of cerulean blue,
Ana silently gauged his dimensions,
Then covered him up with a hurdle or two
To balk the sly foxes' intentions.
Then slowly and sadly they turned them away,
With their hearts overladen with sorrow:
Said Emma, "Bedad! he is safe for to-day."
Said Ned, "We must tap him to-morrow."
Alas! Ere the dawn of another to-day,
There only was weeping and wailing;
That beautiful tub had been carried away,
Or had leaked through a gap in the pailing.
And the Beaks, when applied to, just wagged their old heads,
And said, "Since for advice you must ask us,"
Don't bury your casks in your strawberry beds,
Lest men take them by Habeas Caskus!"
JOHN E. ALLEN.
(The touching incident described in these affecting lines occurred to
some friends who, for fear of an explosion, buried a cask of paraffine
oil in their garden; a midnight robber despoiled them of their spirit,
and they could not make light of it.)
———♦———
Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
POET LAUREATE.
THE first four parts of this collection were devoted to parodies of the
works of the Poet Laureate, a few examples being given of the
imitations of each of his more important poems. Numerous
subscribers have requested that the collection should be continued,
so that the first volume might contain as nearly a complete set of
parodies on Tennyson's works as it is possible to form. With this
view many additional contributions have been sent in; whilst some
that have quite recently appeared, and a few that were previously
omitted as being too lengthy, will now be included. Independently of
the amusing nature of many of the parodies still to be given,
collectors of Tennysoniana will appreciate the completeness thus to
be obtained, and it will be seen that very few of Tennyson's poems
have escaped parody.
Although it may appear that the imitations now to be given will
come somewhat out of order, no inconvenience will eventually result,
as the index will show, in a tabulated form, under the head of each
original poem every parody of it. The order adopted in the recent
editions of the Laureate's poems will be followed in this further
collection, and the parodies will illustrate Mariana; Circumstance;
The Palace of Art; Riflemen Form; Lady Clara Vere de Vere; The May
Queen; The Dream of Fair Women; "You Ask Me Why;" "Of Old Sat
Freedom;" Tithonus; Locksley Hall; Lady Godiva; The Lord of
Burleigh; The Voyage; Enoch Arden; The Brook; The Princess;
Alexandra; In Memoriam; Maud; Hands All Round; and the Idyls of
the King.
THE HAYMARKET THEATRE ON THE
OCCASION OF THE REVIVAL OF A DULL OLD
FIVE-ACT PLAY.
With kindest friends, each private box
Was thickly peopled one and all;
The busy tongues fell at the knocks
The prompter gave against the wall.
The grand tiers' heads look'd old and strange,
Unresting was box-keeper's key,
For those who something came to see,
Within the dismal five-acts' range.
She only said, "It readeth dreary;
No pathos and no fun."
She said, "I am aweary, aweary,
Before it hath begun."
Her yawns came with the first act even;
Her yawns came ere the third was tried.
She had been listening from seven,
With nought to praise, nor to deride.
After the friends forgot to clap,
Which very soon they ceased to do,
She drew the box's curtains too,
And thought, "I'll take a little nap."
She only said, "The play is dreary;
No pathos, and no fun,"
She only said, "I am aweary, aweary,
I would that it were done."
* * * *
The hazy nature of the plot;
The box locks clicking; and the sound
Which to the actors on the stage
The prompter made, did all confound
Her sense; but most she loathed the power
Which could get acted such a play,
When they would nothing have to say
To pieces of the present hour
To pieces of the present hour.
Then said she, "This is very dreary!
This must not be," she said;
"Sooner than feel again so weary,
I'd go right home to bed."
The Man in the Moon, Volume 2, 1848.
THE EXILED LONDONER.
"Since I have been at this place I have lost as many as three copies
of The Times in a week, while Punch was as regularly stolen as it
was posted."—Times, January 10.
WITH black ennui the Exile sits,
Watching the rain-drops as they fall;
The bluebottle about him flits,
That ate the peach on the garden wall.
No Times nor Punch, 'tis very strange;
Unlifted is the iron latch;
Of papers he's without the batch
That gives his days their only change.
At first he only said, "Oh deary!
The post is late," he said;
"Of waiting I am rather weary,
I would my Punch I'd read."
About the middle of the day
The postman's form its shadow cast,
The door he sought with footsteps gay,
The Times and Punch are here at last.
Out with them; but 'tis very strange,
The envelope is open torn—
'Tis but the Herald of the morn;
His paper they have dared to change.
He only said, "The Herald's dreary,
Dreary, indeed," he said;
"It's very look has made me weary;
It never can be read."
Upon some stones—a hillock small,
The Londoner in exile leapt,
And over objects large and small
A telescopic watch he kept;
He saw the postman walk away,
He gazed till it was nearly dark,
Then only made this sad remark,
"Nor Times nor Punch will come to-day."
He only said, "'Tis very dreary
They do not come " he said;
They do not come, he said;
"While I for want of them am weary,
They're elsewhere being read."
And even when the moon was low,
And the shrill winds a game did play,
Blowing the sign-boards to and fro,
As if 'twould blow them right away;
He'd with the spider, as it climbs,
Hold converse—asking if 'twould tell
Whether the postman dared to sell
The weekly Punch and daily Times.
He only said, "'Tis very dreary,
Dreary, indeed," he said;
"Of life I'm almost getting weary,
My Times and Punch unread."
All day within the dreamy house
His shoes had in the passage creak'd;
The maid-of-all-work, like a mouse,
Out of her master's presence sneak'd,
Or from the kitchen peer'd about,
Or listen'd at the open doors,
To hear his footsteps tread the floors
With the short hurried pace of doubt.
She only said, "My master's weary,
And angry, too," she said;
She said, "Oh deary me! oh deary!
I wish he'd go to bed."
The crickets chirrup on the hearth,
The slow clock ticking—and the sound
Of rain upon the gravel path
That hems the Exile's cottage round;
All these, but most of all the power
Of sleep after an anxious day,
Up-stairs had hurried him away.
He paced his chamber for an hour,
Then said he, "This, indeed, is dreary,
My Times, my Punch," he said,
"Without you I am always weary;
I'll tumble into bed."
Punch, January 22, 1848.
LORD TOMNODDY IN THE FINAL SCHOOLS.
WITH blackest ink the books around
Were thickly blotted one and all;
The very nails looked half unsound
That held the pictures to the wall.
The dismal scene was wrapped in gloom,
Sported was the unsocial oak:
Seedy and torn and thick with smoke
The curtains hung athwart the room.
He only said, "The schools are dreary:
This Euclid racks my head.
Of Ethics I am very weary;
I shall be ploughed," he said.
His sighs came with the lightening heaven,
And ever through the day he sighed.
He could not play in the Eleven,
Or coach the Eight at eventide.
After the shutting of the gates,
He drew his casement curtain by,
And watched along the gleaming High
The lovers strolling with their mates.
He only said, "The schools are dreary:
This Euclid racks my head.
Ethics are the reverse of cheery;
I shall be ploughed," he said.
And half asleep he heard forlorn
The caterwauling on the roof;
The chapel bell rung out at morn
Came to him—but he held aloof.
In dreams he seemed to see the Halls,
And fatal precincts of the Schools:
To watch the crowd of ghastly fools,
Who tried in vain to pass their Smalls.
He only said, "The schools are dreary:
This Euclid racks my brain
This Euclid racks my brain.
Of Ethics I am very weary;
I shall be ploughed again."
He sat and darkened all the air,
With smoke up-wreathing from his weed:
All day, half-dreaming in his chair,
He sat and read—or seemed to read—
Or from the window peered about.
His friends still hammered at his door;
He heard them on the upper floor;
Their voices called him from without.
He only said, "The schools are nearing;
I cannot come," said he.
"Although of Ethics I am wearying,
I shall be ploughed, you'll see."
For hours he sat, without a pause,
And snored o'er Plato's sage debate
Of the Republic and the Laws:
Both these his brain did obfuscate
But most of all he loathed the power
Of x + y, whose depths profound
Long-winded dons would oft expound,
And moralise on by the hour.
Then said he, "I am very weary,
This Euclid racks my brain.
Mansell and Mill are very dreary;
I shall be ploughed again!"
H. C. I., QUEEN'S COLLEGE, OXFORD
College Rhymes (T. and G. Shrimpton), Oxford, 1868.
A FRAGMENT.
They lifted him with kindly care;
They took him by the heels and head;
Across the floor, and up the stair,
They bore him safely to his bed.
They wrapped the blankets warm and tight,
And round about his nose and chin
They drew the sheets, and tucked them in,
And whispered: "Poor old boy, good-night!"
He murmured, "Boys, oh, deary, deary,
That punch was strong," he said;
He said: "I am aweary, weary—
Thank heaven, I've got to bed!
Australian Paper.
AUGUST THE TWELFTH.
OVER-NIGHT.
I.
YOU must wake, and call me early—call me early—Willie Weir,
To-morrow is the glorious Twelfth, that comes but once a year;
The cockneys and the keepers will all be out of doors,
And I'm to shoot over the moors, Willie—I'm to shoot over the
moors.
II.
There's many a pack of pointers, but none that point likemine;
There's Paragon and Pincher—there's Kit and Keelavine,
And my little Dandie Dinmont, that stands firm as any house,
So I'm to bag all the grouse, Willie—I'm to bag all the grouse.
III.
I sleep so soundly all the night that I shall never wake,
Unless you call me loudly when the dawn begins to break,
For I've to put on my philabeg and sporran's foxy tail,
To look like a genuine Gael, Willie, to look like a genuine Gael.
IV.
As I came up the valley, whom think you I should see?
Ben Moses of the Minories, he has rented Bonachree!
He wished to rent my moor, Willie, but boggled at the price,
So I went in by telegram, and nailed it in a trice.
V.
Shelty Pony shall go to-morrow, to carry two fowls at least,
For a cockney on the hillside is a very ravenous beast;
And you shall bring the saddlebags to hold the birds I spot,
y g g p
For I'll get my worth of the moors, Willie, at least in the powder and
shot.
VI.
So you must wake me early—call me early, Willie Weir,
To-morrow is the glorious Twelfth, that comes but once a year.
From Cheapside unto Chelsea, they're envying me at home,
For I'm to shoot over the moors, Willie, as far as I can roam.
ON THE TWELFTH.
I.
I bade you wake me early, with my shaving-jug and brogues,
But Scotch and English servants are all a pack of rogues.
It's the only Twelfth of August in the Highlands I shall see,
Yet you snored on your truckle-bed, Willie, and never thought of me.
II.
Last night I saw the sunset, he looked both wroth and red,
As if he knew when dawning came I'd still be lay-a-bed.
From crag and scaur and heather I hear the popping shot,
And not a single bird, Willie, has fallen to my lot.
III.
What say you? "'Tis a soft day, the roads are runnin' burns,
"The heather's a' wet blankets, ye might droon ye in the ferns;
Ye canna see a hand forenent, the mist's sae white and chill,
Ye'd sune be bogged amang the muirs, and lost upon the hill."
IV.
There's not a sportsman on the hills, the rain is on the pane,
I only wish to sleep until the sunshine comes again.
I wish the mist would lift, and the light break out once more,
I long to kill a grouse, Willie, ere the Twelfth of August's o'er.
V.
I have been stiff and lazy, but I'll up and dress me now,
You'll fetch my breakfast, Willie, and my plaid before I go.
Nay, nay, you must not brush so hard, my very teeth you jolt,
You should not rub me down, Willie, as if I were a colt.
VI.
I'll bring back dinner, if I can, in a brace of cock and hen,
But if you do not see me, you will know I've dined with Ben.
If I cannot speak a sober word when I come back from the toddy,
Just tuck me into bed, Willie, like a canny Hieland body.
VII.
Good-bye, you rascal, Willie; call me earlier in the morn,
Or I'll thrash you into next week, as sure as you were born;
For I must get my money back from grouse and hare and deer,
So wake, and call me early—call me early, Willie Weir.
Will-o'-the-Wisp, August, 1869.
MALA-FIDE TRAVELLERS.
(Unlicensed by the Laureate.)
LATE, late, past ten, so dark the night and chill.
Late, late, eleven, but we can enter still.
Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now!
No thought had we the night was so far spent,
And, hearing this, the Bobby will relent.
Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now!
No beer, though late, and dark, and chill the night.
O let us in, and we will not get tight!
Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now!
A glass of gin to-night would be so sweet.
O let us in, that we may have it neat!
Too late, too late, ye cannot enter now!
Punch, November 16, 1872.
The following imitation of Tennyson is of interest as having appeared
forty years ago, when the poet was comparatively unknown:—
A FRAGMENT—COMPOSED IN A DREAM.
BY A. TENNYSON.
In Hungerford, did some wise man
A stately bridge of wire decree,
Where Thames, the muddy river, ran,
Down to a muddier sea.
Above the people rose its piers,
Their shadows on the waters fell;
Year after year, for many years,
All unapproachable!
And filmy wires through æther spread,
From such proud piers' unfinished head,
Kept up a mild communication,
Worthy of their exalted station;
And many gazers far below,
Wafted by the waveless tide,
Which 'neath those slender wires did flow,
Upturned their eyes, and sighed—
"If that air bridge," they whispered low,
"Vos broad enough to let us pass,
Ve'd not av so much round to go,
As now ve av—alas!"
Punch, 1844.
THE M.P. ON THE RAILWAY COMMITTEE.
(Dedicated to Alfred Tennyson).
With shareholders in anxious lots,
The rooms were crowded, one and all,
The Barristers stood round in knots,—
And quite forsook Westminster Hall.
Sections and plans looked odd and strange;
And the M.P. at each new batch,
Weary and worn, looked at his watch,
In hopes the Counsel to derange.
He only said, "It's very dreary:
He'll never stop!" he said;
He said, "I'm a-weary—a-weary,
I would I were in bed!"
The speech began before eleven,
And might go on till eventide;
He must be in the House at seven,
Upon a motion to divide.
The Barristers in white cravats
Unto each other gave the lie;
The M.P. sadly shut his eye
And thought of the Kilkenny cats.
He only said, "It's very dreary,
They'll never stop!" he said;
He said, "I'm a-weary—a-weary,
And must not go to bed."
Until the middle of the night,
He'd heard the Irish Members crow;
The House broke up in broad daylight,
Heavily he to bed did go,
In hopes to sleep; but without change,
In dreams, he seemed to hear, forlorn,
The Barrister he'd heard that morn;
And saw, in slumber, sections strange.
He sighed, and said, "'Tis very dreary;
I cannot sleep!" he said;
I cannot sleep! he said;
He said, "I am a-weary—a-weary,
Both in and out of bed."
* * * *
The hot sun beating on the roof,
The slow clock ticking, and the sound
Which in opposing lines' behoof
The counsel made,—did all confound
His sense: then longed he for the hour
When their report they came to lay
Before the Commons; and the day
On which he'd 'scape SIR ROBERT'S power,
Then said he, "This is far too dreary:
I will retire," he said;
He sighed, "I am so weary—a-weary,
I'll go to Jail instead."
Punch, 1845.
CIRCUMSTANCE.
TWO children in two neighbour villages,
Playing mad pranks along the healthy leas;
Two strangers meeting at a festival;
Two lovers whispering by an orchard wall;
Two lives bound fast in one with golden ease;
Two graves, grass green, beside a gray church-tower,
Wash'd with still rains and daisy-blossomed;
Two children in one hamlet born and bred;
So runs the round of life from hour to hour.
A. TENNYSON.
CIRCUMSTANCE.
(After Tennyson).
TWO children on Twelfth Night, all mirth and laughter,
Obliged to take two powders the day after.
Two strangers meeting at a morning call.
Two lovers waltzing at a country ball.
Two mouths to feed upon an income small.
Two "lists to be retained" of various things
Wash'd out of town to save home's direst curse.
Two babies quite too much for one young nurse;
So flies the time of life on rapid wings.
The Man in the Moon, Volume 4, 1848.
THE PALACE OF ART.
(A Parody, which it is requested may not occur to anybody
during the Inauguration of the Exhibition, 1862).
I my Cole a lordly pleasure house,
BUILT
Wherein to walk like any Swell:
I said, "O Cole, make merry and carouse,
Dear Cole, for all is well."
(Here follows an exquisite description of the said pleasure-
house, also known as the International Exhibition. After four
hundred and ninety-seven verses comes the last).
But Cole, C.B., replied, "'Tis long, your story,
And here's a Rummy Start;
Dilke walks in glory with a Hand that's Gory,
While I am not a Bart."
SHIRLEY BROOKS.
The following parody graphically describes that singular phase of
modern English art, known as the Æsthetic School, originated by the
Pre-Raphaelite brotherhood, namely, Dante G. Rossetti, Holman
Hunt, J. E. Millais, and Thomas Woolner. The works of the disciples
of this school have recently found a home in the Grosvenor Gallery,
founded by Sir Coutts Lindsay:—
THE PALACE OF ART.
(New Version).
PART I.
I myself a lordly picture-place
BUILT
Wherein to play a Leo's part.
I said, "Let others cricket, row, or race,
I will go in for Art!"
Full of great rooms and small my Palace stood,
With porphyry columns faced,
Hung round with pictures such as I thought good,
Being a man of taste.
The pictures—for the most part they were such
As more behold than buy—
The quaint, the queer, the mystic over-much,
The dismal, and the dry.
One seemed all black and grey—a tract of mud,
One gas-jet glimmering there alone;
Above, all fog; below, all inky flood;
For subject—it had none.
One showed blue chaos flecked with falling gold.
Like Danaë's tower in dark;
A painter's splash-board might more meaning hold
Than this æsthetic lark.
And one, a phantom form with limbs most lank,
Adumbrated in ink and soot;
The Genius of Smudge, with spectral shank
And unsubstantial boot.
Nor these alone, but many a canvas bare,
Fit for each vacuous mood of mind,
The gray and gravelike, vague and void, were there
Most dismally designed.
Most dismally designed.
* * * * *
Or two wan lovers in a curious fix,
Wreathed in one scarf by some queer charm,
Upon the margin of a caverned Styx
Stood shivering arm-in-arm.
Or by a garden-prop, posed all askew
'Neath apples bronze, with brazen hair,
A chalk-limb'd Eve and snake of porcelain blue
Exchanged a stony stare.
* * * * *
Nor these alone, but all such legends fair
As the vagarious Wagner mind
Would pick from Mythus' shadowy realm, were there,
With ample space assigned.
To women weird and wondrous, long of jaw,
And lank of limb, and greenish as with mould,
And full-red lips and shocks of fulvous hair,
And raiments strange of fold.
No raven so delighteth in its song,
Of sad and sullen monotone,
As I to watch those ladies lean and long,
And angular of bone.
And to myself I said, "All these are mine.
Let the dull world take Nature's part,
'Tis one to me; I hold no thing divine
Save this Brown-Jonesian Art,
"Wherein no ROBINSON shall dare to plant
His Philistinish hoof,
Wh f l ti di l t
Who feels no mystic mediæval want,
But paints in truth's behoof!
"O Mediæval Mystery, be it mine
To clasp thee, faint and fain;
Sniffing serene at low souls that decline,
On sense and meanings plain."
Then my eyes filled, my talk waxed large and dim
Of BOTTICELLI'S deathless fame:
"Quaint immaturity to reach with him,"
I cried, "is Art's true aim.
"To plunge, self-blinded, in the mystic past,
That makes the present small:
If eyes artistic be not backward cast,
Why have we eyes at all?"
Punch, July 7, 1877.
PART II.
YET oft the riddle of Art's real drift
Flashed through me as I sat and gazed.
But not the less some season I made shift
To keep my wits undazed.
And so I mused and mooned; for three long weeks
I stood it: on the fourth I fell.
All trace of natural colour fled my cheeks,
And I felt—far from well.
* * * * *
Hollow-cheeked, hectic, rufus-headed dames,
With opiate eyes, and foreheads all
As wan as corpses', but with wings like flames,
Gl d f h ll
Glared on me from each wall.
Those fixed orbs haunted me; I grew to hate
Those square and skinny jaws, those high-cheek bones.
Nocturnes in soot and symphonies in slate
Moved me to sighs and groans.
Queer convolutions of dim drapery
Inwrapt me like a Nessus-snare.
I seemed enmeshed in tangles hot and dry
Of copper-coloured hair.
I loathed the pallid Venuses and Eves,
Nymph-nudity, and Sorceress and Thrall;
The Wings prismatic, the metallic Leaves—
I loathed them one and all.
I howled aloud, "I would no more behold
A witch, an angel, or a saint.
Aught mediæval-mystic, classic-cold,
Or cinque-cento quaint.
"It may be that my taste has come to grief,
But if the spectral, dismal, dry,
Do constitute 'High Art,' 'tis my belief
High Art is all my eye."
So when four weeks were wholly finishéd,
I from my gallery turned away.
"Give me green leaves and flesh and blood," I said,
"Fresh air and light of day.
I pine for Nature, sickened to my heart
Of the affected, strained, and queer.
What was to me Ambrosia of Art
Hath grown as drugged small-beer.
"Yet pull not down my galleries rich and rare:
When Art abjures the crude and dim
When Art abjures the crude and dim,
I yet may house the High Ideal there.
Purged from preposterous Whim!"
Punch, July 14, 1877.
The following poem appeared in The Times for May 9, 1859, and
although not included in the collected works of the Poet Laureate, it
has been generally ascribed to his pen. In its warlike promptings,
and cheap national bunkum, it resembles the other so-called
patriotic songs of this author, of whom nobody ever heard that he
took up a rifle for his country, or assisted the Volunteer movement in
any way whatever:—
THE WAR.
THERE is a sound of thunder afar,
Storm in the South that darkens the day,
Storm of battle and thunder of war,
Well, if it do not roll our way.
Form! form! Riflemen, form!
Ready, be ready to meet the storm!
Riflemen, riflemen, riflemen, form!
Be not deaf to the sound that warns!
Be not gull'd by a despot's plea!
Are figs of thistles, or grapes of thorns?
How should a despot set men free?
Form! form! Riflemen, form!
Ready, be ready to meet the storm!
Riflemen, riflemen, riflemen, form!
Let your Reforms for a moment go,
Look to your butts, and take good aims.
Better a rotten borough or so,
Than a rotten fleet or a city in flames!
Form! form! Riflemen form!
Ready, be ready to meet the storm!
Riflemen, riflemen, riflemen, form!
Form, be ready to do or die!
Form in Freedom's name and the Queen's!
True, that we have a faithful ally,[9]
But only the devil knows what he means.
Form! form! Riflemen, form!
Ready, be ready to meet the storm!
Riflemen, riflemen, riflemen, form!
T.
INTO THEM GOWN.[10]
A Wicked Parody on
RIFLEMEN FORM.
THERE was a sound of "Town" from afar,
Town in the High that threaten'd a mill,
Storm of town, and thunder of gown,
And town have got with them "Brummagem Bill."
Gown! Gown! into the Town,
Ready, be ready to meet the clown,
Into them; into them; into them, Gown.
Be not afraid of the peelers' staves,
Be not gulled by a proctor's plea,
Velvetty arms are for flunkies, my braves,
Why should a proctor stop our spree?
Gown! Gown! into the Town,
Ready, be ready to meet the clown,
Into them; into them; into them, Gown.
Leave your wines for a moment or so.
Double your fists for the State and the Church,
Better the purple claret should flow,
Than "La Belle Science" be left in the lurch.
Gown! Gown! into the Town,
Ready, be ready to meet the clown,
Into them; into them; into them Gown.
Sweep! march ahead, look about, take care,
Deal black eyes and the bloody nose;
True that we have an excellent mayor,
Butt him again, and down he goes.
Gown! Gown! into the Town,
Ready, be ready to meet the clown,
Into them; into them; into them, Gown.
College Rhymes, 1861.