Feedback and Corrections
1. Part 2: Describe a time you used your cellphone to do something
important
Original:
“Well, last year, I must upload my report card to university, and this is my
most important thing during this year. So, I was very nervous that and how
can I upload the report…”
Corrected:
“Last year, I needed to upload my report card to the university, and it was
one of the most important tasks I had that year. I was very nervous about
how to upload it, but my teacher told me I could use my phone to find the
website and upload the photos. It was a moment when I realized how
important phones are for such tasks. Without it, I would have had to rely on
other methods, like asking someone or using a newspaper. Once I figured it
out, the task became easier and quicker, and I felt relieved.”
Notes:
Simplify the sentence structure for clarity.
Avoid unnecessary repetitions and maintain fluency.
2. Part 3: What do you usually do with a cellphone?
Original:
“I also use my phone to chat with each other, such as my teacher or my
friends. Because I think using a phone to chat with each other is more
efficient…”
Corrected:
“I use my phone to chat with people, like my teacher and friends. I find it
more efficient than older methods, like sending letters or using a newspaper.
In the past, people had to rely on things like phone numbers and addresses,
which could be a hassle. Now, with my phone, I can communicate quickly
and easily. I also use it for educational purposes, like talking to my teacher
about school tasks.”
Notes:
Simplify and focus on clear points.
Improve fluency by avoiding repetitive structures.
3. What are the differences between young people and old people when
using a cellphone?
Original:
“Well, the young people prefer to watch the video, such as the game, and
the video or the pop music…”
Corrected:
“Young people often use their phones to watch videos, play games, or listen
to pop music. However, I think playing games too much can become a bad
habit because young people should focus more on studying. On the other
hand, older people tend to use their phones more for communication, like
chatting with family. Since many older people didn‘t grow up with modern
smartphones, they might not be as familiar with all the features. For them,
the phone is more of a tool to stay connected with others.”
Notes:
Focus on clear contrasts between young and old people.
Avoid unnecessary complexity and repetition.
4. Which one is more important, using a cellphone to make phone calls or to
read messages?
Original:
“Well, I think the most important for us to use is using phone to read the
message…”
Corrected:
“I think reading messages is more important than making phone calls
because messages contain important information, like emails or social media
updates. Many organizations, like universities or workplaces, prefer sending
messages over making calls because they know people are busy. Reading
messages is often more efficient and less disruptive.”
Notes:
Simplify and streamline the message.
Avoid repeating ideas unnecessarily.
5. Do you think there should be a law to stop people from making phone
calls in public?
Original:
“Well, I think so, because some areas need to be quiet, such as schools and
libraries…”
Corrected:
“Yes, I think there should be a law to stop phone calls in certain public
places, like schools and libraries, where quiet is necessary. Also, in places
like gas stations, using a phone could be dangerous. Phones should be used
responsibly in public spaces to avoid disturbing others and to ensure safety.”
Notes:
Be concise and clear about the reasons.
Focus on logical connections between ideas.
6. What can be done to stop cellphone addiction?
Original:
“Well, I think you can fix a time that stop use your phone, such as the
morning you can’t use your phone until you finish your work or tasks…”
Corrected:
“I think one solution is to set specific times to avoid using your phone, like
not using it in the morning until you‘ve completed your tasks. It’s also helpful
to put the phone away during work or study time, so you can focus on what
you need to do. This way, you can improve productivity and avoid
distractions.”
Notes:
Simplify your response and focus on the key points.
Avoid repeating ideas and keep your advice straightforward.
7. Do you think it is too late to call others at 11 or 12 o’clock at night?
Original:
“Well, absolutely, because most of the people go to bed at 10pm, and most
of the people have been sleeping, so you can’t disturb them…”
Corrected:
“Yes, I think it‘s too late to call people at 11 or 12 o’clock at night because
most people are already asleep. Calling them at that time could disturb their
sleep and affect their health. It’s important to respect others‘ time and avoid
calling late at night.”
Notes:
Keep the answer simple and focused on the main point.
Avoid over-explaining, and be concise.
General Suggestions:
Keep your sentences shorter and more direct.
Avoid repetition and focus on answering the question clearly.
Make sure you stay on topic with each answer.
Would you like to try again with any of these questions or need more
practice on specific parts?
P3
