Heart Felt

a collection of children’s experiences and

stories of abuse, recovery and hope
Acknowledgements

The Australian Childhood Foundation would like to

thank the children and young people who allowed us to
use their drawings in this publication.

We would also like to express our appreciation to the

children and young people who bravely shared their
stories of abuse, fear, recovery and hope so that we
may all learn more about child abuse. All their names
and other details have been changed in order to protect
their identity.

© Copyright 2011, Australian Childhood Foundation.

ISBN: 0 9580411 8 0
A Heartfelt Plea...
Children who experience abuse and family violence All the drawings in this book were created by
lose part of their lives forever. It undermines their children who have attended one of the specialist
self confidence and eats away at their self esteem. It trauma counselling programs run by the Australian
makes them feel worthless and unlovable. They take Childhood Foundation.
with them memories of confusion and trauma. Even
Many of the drawings in the Heart Felt collection
small triggers may cause them to relive their fear,
are disturbing and distressing. Yet, there are also
their uncertainty.
drawings that show the strength, courage and
In so many ways, children who are the victims adaptability of children as they recover from the
of abuse and family violence are robbed of the devastating impact of violence. Indeed, there are
enjoyment of childhood innocence. They become drawings that can inspire hope in all of us.
uneasy about trusting. They often crave safety and
By reading this booklet, we believe that you cannot
security but may never really find it. They can even
escape the heart felt plea from children themselves
blame themselves.
for us as a community to act together to stop child
The suffering of abused children often is secret. They abuse.
go unnoticed and unprotected. Abuse isolates and
All the children and their guardians who have
distances children from others who might be able to
created a drawing or piece of art have given the
support them, look out for them, be their friends.
Australian Childhood Foundation their permission
The Heart Felt collection is a unique opportunity for for it to be reproduced in this way. The children have
all of us to understand a little more about how child asked only that, as a community, we take some time
abuse affects and shapes the lives of children. to understand and respect their experiences.

Children’s drawings reflect childhood as they The reality is that our childhood remains with us.
experience it. Children draw pictures of people, The experiences and memories children receive
events in their lives and ideas that hold some during childhood influence the sort of adults they
significance for them. Children’s drawings give adults can be. It is our hope that you will finish reading
a glimpse into their world and how they experience through this book with an even greater commitment
the people in it. They help us to understand the to the need to take steps to put an end to child
meaning that children attach to events and people in abuse in Australia.
their lives.
Abuse and Trauma
The experience of

child abuse and family violence rocks

the very core of children.

It undermines their self

confidence and eats away at
their self esteem.
It makes them feel worthless
and unlovable.
The experience of child abuse and family violence The effects of abuse and family violence can be
rocks the very core of children. so encompassing that children’s development
slows down. They often experience problems with
The abuse itself is often accompanied with messages
learning new things, coping with new people or new
that reinforce children’s vulnerability. They are often
situations. In fact, anything new is often perceived
told that the abuse is their fault. They are told that
as a threat to them. This is why children affected
they are to blame for the family’s problems.
by abuse and family violence can have problems
Many children are threatened if they tell anyone at school. This is why they can have trouble with
about their abuse. Others are repeatedly told that friends. This is why often they cannot feel settled
they will not be believed if they tell. As a result anywhere.
many children never disclose to anyone about
Abuse and family violence traumatises children. It
the abuse they are experiencing. They remain
changes the ways they understand their world, the
frightened, alone and unprotected.
people in it and where they belong. They develop
Abused children frequently do not have their distorted rules about relationships - ones that are
feelings acknowledged. They are told that they are built on mistrust, fear and betrayal. They feel out of
not feeling frightened when they really are. They place in their family and with their friends. They feel
are told to look happy when on the inside they are separate and alone.
feeling worried and anxious. They are told to lie
The memories of abuse are pronounced and ever
about what is going at home. They can feel ignored.
present. Small reminders may cause them to
Their confusion about the violence is never clarified.
relive their fear and confusion. The world itself, is
It is not surprising then that children who have experienced as dangerous for abused children - a
experienced abuse stop feeling. They do not trust place without haven or safety.
their feelings. The strength of their fear, shame and
sadness can overwhelm them. Indeed, they live in
a constant state of alarm, waiting for the next time
they will be hurt or rejected. Survival becomes
uppermost in their minds.
Crying Child
REBECCA - 9 years old

Rebecca was sexually abused by an uncle and rejected by her parents following

her disclosure of the abuse. The child has no mouth, fingers or feet. Unable
to speak, fight or move, the child in the picture is paralysed other
than for the tears dropping into two pools.
The Invisible Princess
LISA - 14 years old

Lisa was sexually abused by her father for a period of two years. She has

been in counselling for three years. She still remembers

how guilty she felt for not telling her mother about the
abuse. Her message is clear.

Butterflies
STELLA - 13 years old

She
Stella feels that she is not able to fit in with her group of peers.

is the black butterfly crying in the corner.

She feels different from her group of friends because she was sexually

abused. Her friends whom she admires are represented by the

butterfly in glorious colour flying far away from the other butterfly.
Fred drew himself after being told that he was not able to go

The furrowed
home due to rejection by his parents.

brow shows how worried he really is

about this decision.

Sad Boy
FRED - 8 years old
Alone and Lost
STELLA - 13 years old

Stella was sexually abused by

her father between the ages of

4 and 7. Stella’s disclosure of

abuse was not believed. As a

result, Stella has not lived with

She
either parent for 2 years.

feels abandoned
by her parents and
separated from
finding them. In the
picture, her parents are turned

away from her and leaving her

alone and lost in the forest.

 Suicide
MELINDA - 15 years old

At 15, Melinda had already been hospitalised for three

suicide attempts. She had suffered emotional and physical

Melinda felt like scum

abuse by her parents.

and wanted to die. Counselling gave her some

hope that change could occur.

Scary Feelings
MITCHELL - 11 years old

Mitchell witnessed long term domestic violence between his parents.

He continues to be afraid of his father’s return to the family. Mitchell’s

“…Sometimes I have
explanation about his drawing is that

been scared that I will get hurt by a monster

just like the person in the drawing...”
Castle and Ponds
TRACEY - 8 years old

This is a castle where a princess lives. Beautiful flowers and sunshine. All the animals

once lived in the castle with the princess but they were made to go away. They went to

live in ponds outside the castle but all eventually died. A snake, 2 ducks and a frog.

The princess in the picture is sad and lonely. Tracey has

suffered psychological abuse as a result of long term rejection by her parents.
 Donald Duck, 8 years old, drew this

picture to demonstrate what he wanted

to see happen to the two perpetrators

He wanted
of his sexual abuse.

them to be killed, buried

and sent to hell. The little
figure flying in the clouds is Donald Duck

in heaven looking down on the whole

scene and being free from the abuse.

Cemetery - Go to Hell
DONALD DUCK - 8 years old
Where it Still Hurts Josh has been a victim of severe

domestic violence from early childhood.

JOSH - 9 years old He remembers trying to

disappear from his body
so that he didn’t have
to watch the violence
between mum and dad.
He was also sexually abused by his father.

He drew these two pictures six months

apart. The first in his early stages of

counselling depicts what it is like to be

him. His body is blacked out with very dark

crayon. His explanation was that he was

“hiding”. The second picture shows him

having emerged from behind the blackness.

The arrows in the picture point to the

areas where even after counselling Joshua

continues to feel hurt.

Recovery
The recovery process for

children who have experienced

abuse and family violence

It changes
is transformative.
the way they see themselves,
their relationships and
their future.
The recovery process for children who have As recovery continues, children start to engage with
experienced abuse and family violence is more emotions, the ones that help them feel good
transformative. It changes the way they see about themselves. They begin talking about feeling
themselves, their relationships and their future. happy, brave, smart, enthusiastic and respectful.
They slowly start to believe in themselves. They
Through counselling, children discover the truth of
see themselves as being courageous, as being
their abuse. They learn about the ways in which they
intelligent, as being a good friend. They learn to
were manipulated and threatened. They come to
know these qualities are a part of them.
understand that the abuse was not their fault. They
realise that there was nothing that they could have Children then begin to look to their friends and their
done differently to have prevented the abuse. family for support. They want to feel the same as
other children. They want to feel like they belong.
They grieve for the parts of themselves and their
They start to appreciate encouragement more. They
life that have been destroyed by the experiences
respond by trying harder and feeling more. They feel
of violence. They are supported to reconnect
affirmed and valued by those who they consider to
with those difficult feelings that in the past have
be important to them.
overwhelmed them. Feelings such as angry, afraid,
confused, messed up, numb and closed on the inside They feel like they are active in their own life. They
are identified. They explore how these feelings feel free to be children again. They start to dream
come about, what their consequences are and how about the future. They realise that it is okay for them
to manage those times when they feel overtaken by to hope to feel normal.
their strength.
They know they may never leave their experiences
of abuse behind them. They will probably always
have some memories of the pain and fear – but
those memories do not control their day to day
life. They come to feel a little more free of the
devastating effects and a little more strong.
Hope with a Leaf
SASHA - 15 years old

this picture portrays her spirit

Drawn by 15 year old Sasha,

beginning to grow again inside her dead body.

Sasha had been sexually abused by her step father.
 What is counselling like?
LIAM - 11 years old

Liam was sexually abused and developed a range of problem

Liam experienced tension and

behaviours.

conflict in his family. In this picture, Liam reflects how

counselling has helped bring a family back together again.

Flying Above Worries

SCOTT - 10 years old

Scott witnessed severe domestic violence between his parents for several

years. Scott stated that the games in counselling took his mind off other

The bird is a symbol of freedom in the

things.

city and in the air. After a period of counselling, Scott drew this
picture claiming that “I feel free now”.
That was Me
STEVEN, 12 years old

Steven represented his anger as a volcano that would

sometimes get so big that it would explode. With support he is
coming to understand that his anger did not feel so out of control.
Devils & Angels
LILLY - 14 years old

Lilly has drawn the dilemma she experiences when she meets

new people. She does not know whether they will turn out

She knows she finds it

to be devils or angels.

difficult to trust people after being

abandoned by her parents from an
early age. She is trying to learn to regain confidence in
herself and others.
Reaching Out
SHRIC - 11 years old

This drawing is of Shric feeling emotionally torn between his

birth mother and his permanent care parents, whom he calls mum

His hands are reaching out in two

and dad.

different directions – one towards his birth mother and

the other towards his new family.
People Stay Inside Me
JUSTINA - 7 years old

Children
The two pictures show how children try to make sense of their experiences.

feel inside their bodies and internalise rejection and

emotional abuse. The explanation under the drawing demonstrates the insight that
even young children can have.
Wishes
BEVAN - 8 years old

Caught in the middle of a difficult family

Bevan feels distant

breakdown,

from his father. In this picture, he

expressed his hopes and wishes for himself

and his dad.

 Feelings - different faces
TRISTAN - 10 years old

Tristan has a long history of physical abuse. In counselling, he was

The drawing
not able to express feelings easily for himself.

shows how sometimes it is easier for

children to associate feelings they have
with others. These others are given names as a way of
assisting the child to externalise difficult emotions.

Good Side Bad Side

MELINDA - 13 years old

Melinda was sexually abused by her step-father for a period of three

she shows how the abuse has

years. In this picture,

made her develop two different sides. At 13,

Melinda was in constant conflict with her mother and siblings. Her

bad side shows her angry, mad and mean. Her good side, the one she

keeps mostly hidden is happy, helpful, full of friendship and love.

Hope
Hope is the outcome of

It is like
change for children.
a wave that carries them into
the future with fun, enthusiasm
and optimism. Hope is the first
moment in time when they

dare to dream.
Hope is the outcome of change for children. It is like Hope is present for children when they can rely
a wave that carries them into the future with fun, on the adults around them to be consistent,
enthusiasm and optimism. Hope is the first moment dependable and nurturing. Children begin to feel
in time when they dare to dream. anchored in the present and trust in the future.

For these children, hope comes from feeling that Hope is the beginning of a life capable of not
their experiences of abuse no longer separate them being overtaken by the memories of abuse, violence
from their friends and family. They know that they do and trauma.
not have to feel alone any more. They start to really
Children with hope and confidence are adaptable
feel a sense of safety in themselves and in those
and resilient in the face of challenges. With belief
around them.
in themselves they begin to do better at school.
They can look forward to their next birthday without They find that they can more easily make and keep
fear. They can look forward to the next school friends. Their relationships with their family improve.
holidays without feeling worried. They are happier in themselves. They believe they
can……and they do!
They can tell their parent or carer that they are upset
or sad and know that the response will be supportive
and caring. They know that they will be living in the
one place with the same people for a long time. They
can feel secure, safe and loved.
Smiley Sun
JODIE - 11 years old

When the sun is out,

Jodie loves a bright and smiley sun.

Jodie feels that nothing can go wrong. The sun is

her protector, looking down on her and making her feel warm and safe.
My Best Friend
ELIZABETH - 11 years old

After a lifetime of feeling alone and

not important to anyone, Elizabeth is now able
to draw a picture of people in her life who care about her.
Friends are
like diamonds
JAKE - 11 years old

Jake has drawn a vivid pictorial representation

of an old saying that he feels is very important to him.

True friends are like diamonds, false

friends are like leaves.
Hope
CYNTHIA - 16 years old

Cynthia, 16 years old painted this picture entitled

It shows that getting over

Hope.

the pain, anger and despair

associated with abuse is slow
but steady process. Cynthia carried
the secret of sexual abuse by a cousin for over

10 years. After several months of counselling,

her drawings of despair changed to hope and

optimism.
 Good Friends
ANITA - 6 years old

Anita could not really make friend because she kept having to change foster families. Finally, after two years, she was told that she did

not have to move anymore. Her foster sister became her friend. They did everything together. Most of all, she liked to
hold hands and play out in the garden. The garden was full of magic flowers, rainbows and games.
 Jane drew a picture of the ideal home for her. In this place, she would be loved, cared for and supported. Nothing bad
could happen to her here. Jane had watched her mother beaten by her father and hospitalised on three separate
occasions. A happy house is a safe one.

A happy house
JANE - 9 years old
I am a Princess
JAY - 7 years old

Jay stopped feeling anything for a long time after she was sexually abused by the man who

lived next door. Her mum and dad made her feel special by telling her how much they loved

her and were proud of her for telling them that she had been hurt. She started to
feel more and more like a princess because she was being kind to her
friends and her brothers and sisters. To her, princesses are kind and beautiful.
Under the rainbow
JILL - 6 years old

Jill drew herself and her brother under a

rainbow after six months of counselling.

She had watched her mother

Under the
overdose on heroin.

rainbow, “yucky things”

did not happen to her
any more. She always wanted to
be close to her brother, Charlie. Under

the rainbow, she could play and have

fun for as long as she wanted.

A full heart
ALEX - 8 years old

After counselling, Alex felt that his heart was finally full again. He had lost a lot of

his heart when he kept having to hear and watch his father hit and hurt his mother.

A full heart meant that he could feel good about

himself. The colours inside his heart show just how full his heart feels.
Take action to stop child abuse:
The issue of child abuse can be overwhelming and
confronting but we can’t turn away from the problem.
Doing so leaves children abused and alone.

Together, we can create a safer community for

children. Child abuse will only stop if we all play our
part. Here are some simple steps you can take to make
a difference to the protection of children.
Know more Do something…
• How confident are you that you understand
…for children …to raise community awareness
what child abuse is in all its forms? • Be someone special for a child to turn to. • Talk to friends and neighbours about the
Be there to listen. problem of child abuse.
• Would you recognise the signs of child abuse?
• Believe children if they tell you about • Raise the issue of children’s safety and
• Do you understand the seriousness and
their abuse. protection in your local community groups,
consequences of child abuse?
sporting clubs and service groups. As a group,
• Trust your judgement. Don’t keep it to
• Do you know how significant the problem of
you may be able to improve community
yourself – do something if you are worried
child abuse is in Australia?
awareness about the problem of child abuse
about a child.
• Do you know what to do if you are concerned and ensure the safety of children in your area
about a child being at risk of abuse?
…for parents by staging local events about children and
• Be a support person for a stressed parent. their need for protection.
Knowing more about the issue of child abuse
and its signs can give you increased confidence • Be there to listen. The chance for a parent to • Ensure organisations and clubs that have
to know what to do if you are concerned about a talk and share concerns can be very effective contact with children in your community have
child. in relieving pressure. policies that outline safe and respectful ways
of interacting with children. These guidelines
To learn more about child abuse visit • Offer support, babysitting or practical
should address bullying, discipline of children,
www.stopchildabusenow.com.au assistance to families in your neighbourhood.
sexism and racism. There should also be
• Let parents know that you understand how procedures for supporting children if they
challenging parenting can be. All parents need disclose that they are being hurt or abused by
Stand in a child’s shoes help and support at some time. an adult involved in the organisation.
• Show and tell children that they are important • Encourage parents to seek some additional
to you and that you care about how they feel. support. Let them know that asking for
• Understand and respect children’s support when it is needed is a strength not
vulnerabilities as well as their abilities. a failing.

• Appreciate the insights of children. They

understand more than you think.
Supporting the work of the Australian Childhood Foundation
The Australian Childhood Foundation is an independent children’s charity » Inspiring and supporting parents. We provide ongoing parenting
working in a number of ways to prevent child abuse and reduce the harm it education seminars and easily accessible resources to strengthen the
causes to children, families and the community. ability of parents to raise happy and confident children.

» Specialist trauma counselling. We provide a range of specialist » Research. In partnership with Monash University, we have established
counselling services for children and young people affected by abuse Child Abuse Research Australia to research the problem of child abuse
and for their families. and identify constructive solutions.

» Therapeutic care programs. We provide a range of therapeutic care The Australian Childhood Foundation won the 1998 National and
programs within residential and foster care settings. State Violence Prevention Awards for its efforts to prevent child abuse.
In 2005, it was awarded the National Child Protection Award by the
» Advocacy for children. We speak out for effective protective and
Australian Government.
support services for children and young people. All our programs affirm
the importance of children. The Australian Childhood Foundation relies on the support of the
community to enable it to continue its programs and services.
» Education. We provide community and professional education,
consultancy and debriefing programs. These programs aim to improve Make a donation to the Australian Childhood Foundation
responses to children and young people who have experienced or are at by contacting us on 1800 176 453 or visiting our websites at
risk of abuse, family violence and neglect. www.stopchildabusenow.com.au or www.childhood.org.au

» Safeguarding children in organisations. We build the capacity of

organisations to ensure they protect children from abuse by their staff
and volunteers.

» Child abuse prevention programs. We run nationally recognised child

abuse prevention programs that seek to decrease the incidence of child
abuse and raise awareness about how to stop it even before it starts.
www.childhood.org.au
We thank the children who let us use their drawings
and stories. All stories have been modified to protect
the identity of children.