ACADEMIC WRITING 2017

TEACHERS’ GUIDE
Academic Writing is the most difficult course in the IE Program. Many more students fail
this course than any other and all agree on its difficulty. At this point, a capsule review of
the history of this course may be in order. For more than 24 years, the English
Department has offered an Academic Writing course. At its weakest, a few teachers
interpreted this course to mean that students would work on paragraph writing until they
could produce sentences that were error-free. Most teachers, however, agreed on the
need to develop their students’ understanding of the “academic genre” of essay writing.

The course was re-organized some seventeen years ago after student complaints about
the overlap between the essay assignments in IE Writing II and III, and those in Academic
Writing. After a needs analysis of students in their junior and senior years, we developed
a new course focusing on research skills and on quoting and paraphrasing source
material. Many Japanese students have not had much opportunity to develop research
skills, nor critical reading and thinking, due to the emphasis on facts and recognition in
high school education.

The Academic Writing text includes information about assignments and extensive
examples of the APA Style. An important aspect of the new Academic Writing course is
to develop these skills through library research activities. The differences between the
courses and their objectives are shown below:

IE Writing I IE Writing II IE Writing III Academic Writing

Paragraph Writing: Introduction to APA Style for A 1,500-word

1) Classification the Essay references and Research Essay:
2) Comparison- (350 words each): quotations in 2 1)Bibliography and
Contrast 1) Comparison- essays of 350 words:
1) Classification citations in APA style
3) Persuasion Contrast
2) Analysis 2) Persuasion 2)Develop and
research a topic

Please note the word-length for each of the essays. We ask you to use these lengths in
your class and in fairness to your students, avoid longer or shorter assignments. Students
inevitably compare assignments from one class to another and they will complain it they
perceive that they are being treated differently in your class.

Even though Academic Writing is a very difficult course, it is only one semester in length.
You will need to take extra care to keep track of your students and to warn some of them
as they fall behind. Please collect contact telephone numbers and e-mail addresses from
them in the first class in order to keep track of those students who have difficulty in
keeping up with the class. All the same, as in other courses, you need a warm
relationship with your students, rather than hectoring them on due dates and rewrites.
2 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

CONTENTS
I. SCOPE AND SEQUENCE ...………………………….............. 4
(a) Essay Specifications
(b) Sequence of Instruction
(c) Grading Assignments
(d, e) Use and mis-use of Wikipedia; Word-Processing Assignments
(f, g) Accessing the Library; Accessing AGU’s Online Databases
(h, i) Smart Google Searches; Your Class as a Writing Community

II. TEACHING THE APA STYLE ……………………………….... 20

(a) Citing Electronic Resources
(b) In-Text Citations

III. PLAGIARISM AND ACADEMIC WRITING …………………… 29

(a, b) Defining Plagiarism; Detecting Plagiarism
(c) Using Quotations
(d) Paraphrasing, Summarizing, and Note-Taking
(e) The Student Writing Database

IV. CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES ….………………………………… 30

V. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS …………………………………….. 32

VI. RESPONSES TO WRITING ...………………………………… 33

(a) A Protocol For Conferencing
(b) Recorded Conferences
(c) Marking Symbols
(d) Commenting Online

VII. PRESENTATIONS ..…………………………………………….. 37

VIII. A GRADING SCHEDULE …………………………………….... 38

IX. ESSAY RATING SCALES …………………………………..….. 39

GROUP RATINGS ………………………….……………………. 41
X. (a) Teacher Comments
(b) Student Models

XI. TEACHER RESOURCES..……………………………………… 43

(a) Further References

XII. MARKING SYMBOLS ..………………….……………………… 45

XIII. THE WRITING DATABASE ……….…………………………… 46

 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 3

About this Teachers’ Guide:

1. Use it in tandem with the exercises in the Academic Writing Student Booklet,
including those on paraphrasing, summarizing, and creating a thesis;

2. As longs as their topics fall within the broad category of English Literature,
Linguistics, and Communication (ie. Film, Music, other Media), encourage your
students to follow their interests;

3. While it can be useful to teach students a few discrete grammar points such as the
use of the colon and semi-colon, research indicates that teaching grammar can be
demotivating to them. Instead, grammar correction should be given on an
individual basis and within the context of a piece of student writing.

4. When showing examples from students’ papers in class, please respect their
privacy and conceal their identities, especially when criticising their work;

5. Help your students’ to manage the writing process by breaking up the research
essay task into manageable parts. This will help them avoid last-minute efforts as
well as the temptation to plagiarize.

6. Keep the essay task to 1,500 words to maintain consistency between our
Academic Writing classes.

7. Mark and respond to at least two entire drafts of the essay from each student.

8. Ensure that the teacher-student conferences are short and well-structured.

9. Research, response from student evaluations, anecdotal reports from AW

teachers, all point to the success of this method as students can replay your
comments at home.

We have included many activities and as much information as we could in the Academic
Writing Student Booklet to save you from copying class sets of exercises and student
models. Meanwhile this Academic Writing Teachers’ Guide includes additional
suggestions for classroom activities, further references, and answer keys for the JSTOR
library activity and for rating sample student essays. In this guide, we have also included
Internet resources, some of which are meant to be used as demonstration in class.

A good resource in planning additional classroom activities is Longman Academic Writing

Series 4: Essays (5th ed.) by Alice Oshima and Ann Hogue (2013), Pearson Education:
Upper Saddle river, New Jersey. It includes a very helpful section on writing an essay and
exercises on paraphrases and quotations, and with developing a bibliography.

A full reference for it and other reference books is included at the end of these notes.
4 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Because the student booklet has such an extensive list of examples of proper APA
documentation, we no longer ask students to purchase additional reference books
although you may certainly use other books as a teacher’s reference or to show on the
OHC.

First and second year students are required to take computer courses in using MS Word,
so all of their assignments must be typed and the spelling corrected (as this can be easily
checked on their computers). This also enables teachers to easily test students’ writing
for plagiarism by entering phrases from a student’s essay into a “Google search.”

I. SCOPE AND SEQUENCE

There are three major goals in Academic Writing: (1)a review of the writing process
introduced in IE Writing, (2)the use of evidence, (3)critical analysis. Learning objectives
are associated with each one. Classroom activities should support these objectives.

1. The Writing Process: Each student should take his or her research essay
through the stages of brainstorming ideas, drafting, peer tutorial, and
revision.

By the end of the course, a student should:

(a) understand and use the writing process including brainstorming,
drafting, revising
(b) identify problems in his or her writing
(c) know how to evaluate other students' writing and comment upon it
(d) be able to revise his or her writing according to the feedback from
other students and the teacher.

Although the writing process is taught to students in the Writing Sections of the Integrated
English Program, you should review it in Academic Writing. The analytic essay in
Academic Writing is quite different than the traditional impressionistic Japanese essay,
kishoutenketsu, which links ideas by association rather than by argument.

Websites for brainstorming, particularly mind-mapping:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mind_map
http://www.buzanworld.com/Mind_Maps.htm
http://www.imindmap.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlabrWv25qQ
http://images.google.com/images?um=1&hl= en&client=safari&rls=en-us&q=
mind+mapping&btnG=Search+Images
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 5

In addition, students must use avoid use of the first person. Time should be spent on
brainstorming and developing thesis statements in particular.

2. Evidence Each student should understand the principle of proposition

and support. A student also needs to understand the difference
between doing original work and using sources. You should be able to
recognize plagiarism and know how to avoid it.

After completing the course, a student should have the ability to:
(a) locate reference materials in the library and on the internet
including encyclopedias, subject area books, journals, and
newspapers
(b) create a bibliography for a research essay
(c) paraphrase material
(d) use quotations from references
(e) integrate quotations in an argument
(f) take notes on sources for writing purposes

3. Critical Thinking – Each student should learn how to read critically.

A student should be able to distinguish between facts and opinions.
A student should develop his or her ability to:
(a) outline the organization of an essay
(b) analyze the logic in written arguments
(c) identify the perspective of an essay
(d) explain their ideas in a short oral presentation

Learning how to exercise critical thinking in evaluating websites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Critical_thinking
http://www.criticalthinking.org/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ8biQB9Aac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RKHjR5j5Fmg

http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&client=safari&rls=en-us&resnum=0&q=critical
% 20thinking&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi
 6 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

I.(a) ESSAY SPECIFICATIONS

Likely, none of our students have ever written an essay of 1,500 words, so the course will
challenge them. Their finished research papers need to include the following:
(a) a minimum of 1,500 words, word-processed, and spell-checked
(b) an introductory paragraph which discusses the background to the question being
addressed in the essay
(c) an appropriate thesis statement and topic sentences
(d) a bibliography of several books recorded in the APA Style, including a general
reference such as an encyclopedia, as well as journals and magazine references
noted in either English or Japanese (in roman characters)
(e) a use of quotations where appropriate, but an emphasis on paraphrasing quotations
(f) effective transitions between paragraphs, examples within paragraphs, and major
sections of the essay
(g) varied sentence construction.
(h) a final draft of the essay which communicates the students’ ideas effectively (although
it will still contain grammatical errors)

I.(b) SEQUENCE OF INSTRUCTION

The following sequence of instruction represents the 11 steps in a semester-length
course. It may take one class or even several classes to complete a single step. There
are activities and exercises in both the Academic Writing Student Booklet and in this
guide to assist you.

For example, page 7 of the booklet contains an exercise to help you in getting students to
define their topics. Some homework assignments should be marked and form part of the
final grade.

In preparing the students for seminar discussions in their junior and sophomore years,
and for providing a sense of closure on the essay, we ask you to assign them a short
presentation on their essays (Step 11).

Step 1: Parts of a Research Paper HW

- review the parts of an essay, handouts ~list 2 or 3
- distinguish between a simple essay and a research paper potential topics,
- discuss sample topics with students (See page 39 in the bring books
Appendix of the student booklet)
- brainstorm ideas for topics
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 7

Step 2: Preparing Students to use the Library HW

- identify several possible topics ~make a practice
- review a sample bibliography (See the sample essays bibliography of
from page 79 onward in the Appendix of the student 3 types of items
booklet)
- learn the different types of APA citations through the
examples in the student booklet from page 17 onward
- learn how to make bibliographic entries for newspapers
and magazines; correct in peer groups
- emphasize the types of notes to keep track of
references (ie. author, year, etc.)
Step 3: Optional Library Tour HW
- do a library orientation activity (See the activities on page ~take notes, find
49 in the Appendix of the student booklet) references
- demonstrate a catalogue and journal search (in this ~prepare
guide, see pp. 13-16; a “smart Google search, pp.17-19; preliminary
also in the student booklets, pp.15,16) bibliography
- identify some general references and other materials
related to particular student topics
- optionally, provide students with information about using
internet search engines and demonstrate them

Step 4: Refining the Topic into a Thesis HW

- developing a thesis by posing a question to be answered ~create a thesis
by the research paper statement
- consider types of questions to be answered
- board examples, small group work

Step 5: Outlining the Research Paper HW

- sample outlines shown in class (See page 50 in the ~create a rough
Appendix of the student booklet) outline
- think-pair-share activities
- show-and-tell” references in small groups

Step 6: Start Introductory Paragraph HW

- use of comparisons, cause and effect, definitions, and ~topic sentences
analyses
- board examples, handouts
- small group work, prepare topic sentences
 TEACHERS= GUIDE 8

Step 7: Identify Quotations HW

- review topic sentences, and references ~ begin first draft
- find suitable quotations note page
- explain how quotations may be paraphrased references
- class exercises in paraphrasing
- show how quotations and authors’ names can be
placed within texts in the APA Style

Step 8: Work-in Progress HW

- in groups, students’ comment about one another’s ~ continue 1st
essays draft
Step 9: Peer Responses to 1st Drafts HW
- small group discussions ~ revisions, first
- teacher joins groups to contribute draft for the
- emphasis on transitions, cohesion and variety teacher
Step 10: Teacher Response and Conferencing HW
- papers returned for next draft ~ 3rd, possibly 4th
- small group revision drafts of
- students prepare for their oral presentation through talking papers
to small groups and (possibly) recording themselves ~ prepare oral
presentations

Step 11: Oral Presentations and Final Reading

- before handing in their papers, students make short oral
presentations with notecards, and try to avoid reading.

*Even short 3-5 min. conferences with students will mean about 1-2 classes.
Please structure your class so that students are revising mistakes or reviewing
their work or preparing questions to ask you during their conference. Do not
dismiss students from class if they are working ahead of the group. Allow them to
use the class as a study/work period or to prepare for their presentations.

In the last class, besides listening to presentations, you might try to conference
with your weakest students. You might ask them for a further revision to their
paper in order to give them a passing grade for the course.
TEACHERS= GUIDE 9

LIBRARY ORIENTATION
2 How to start Getting information from the internet or a
min library book
4 Types of materials ▪ basic --- encyclopedias
min ▪ technical things --- scholarly journal
▪ current events --- newspaper, internet
15 How to look up books ▪ The catalogue system
min ▪ How to find books at AGU and at other
libraries
15 How to find magazine articles How to find magazine articles using
min “ProQuest”
18 How to find newspaper articles Search using the database “Proquest
min Newspaper”
30 Student practice
min

I.(c) GRADING ASSIGNMENTS

Because of the number of assignments in the course and the importance of homework
assignments and attendance, accurate record-keeping is essential.

In order to evaluate your students accurately, and to encourage them to meet deadlines
and to prepare adequately for class, you should give them a schedule. The schedule
should include homework assignments that are part of developing a research essay. This
will help to prevent students from procrastinating. The remaining 5 marks might include
class participation and attendance.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Due Points
Date
Practice Bibliography 2

Bibliography 8

Thesis Statement and 15

Outline

Notecards of Quotations 10

1st Draft 15

Revised Draft for 15

Teacher

Final Draft 20

Oral Presentation 10

Participation 5
____________________ ______

I.(d) WORD-PROCESSING ASSIGNMENTS

Computers must be used for every assignment in Academic Writing. That way, students
can more easily revise their work. By their sophomore year, because every student has
been required to pass an IT module on word-processing and power-point, and they come
to your class with the ability to use these programs. We also strongly urge you to get your
students to utilize the spelling and grammar checks built into MS Word. In the former
case, this might be done by giving them an extra point for perfect spelling in an
assignment.

Written Assignment Format

We are trying to standardize student assignments in terms of appearance. Each student
writing assignment should be formatted to 12-point Times New Roman at 26 lines per
page. The following diagram shows how to change the line spacing in the Japanese
version of MS Word. All of the university laptops come loaded with this program, so this
should be easy for you to show to your students.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

An explanation of this in English and Japanese is on page 12 of the students’ Academic

Writing booklet.

In addition, the students must put a page number and the title of the writing
assignment in the upper right corner of the document. They need to put their name and
student number on the first page.

I.(e) USE AND MISUSE OF WIKIPEDIA

Point out to students that Wikipedia can very be inaccurate. Students should utilize a
variety of resources, library books and online resources.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

About.com is a good alternative to Wikipedia as the articles identify an author or authors

and are therefore more reliable. At the very least, students should be directed to follow
the links at the bottom of most Wikipedia entries. These often link to newspaper and
journal items.

Here is an example of a flawed Wikipedia reference that became famous.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2009-05-07/students-wikipedia-hoax-dupes-newspapers-report/1674760
 13

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

I. (f) ACCESSING THE LIBRARY CATALOGUE

The library catalogue consists of holdings at the Sagamihara, Aoyama campus, and the
Junior College (both at Shibuya) can be accessed from anywhere. You can also arrange
to have books delivered from one campus to another. Teachers can sign most books out
for several months, but students are only allowed a 2-week loan period.

accessing the library collection:

http://www.agulin.aoyama.ac.jp/opac/

opening directly to OPAC:

http://www.agulin.aoyama.ac.jp/opac/imain_en_euc-jp.html

The screen will change languages and you can type in searches by title, author,
key word, or subject.

other online library resources:

the Educational Resources Information Centre, ERIC
http://eric.ed.gov/

the Librarians Internet Index

http://www.ipl.org/

I. (g) ACCESSING AGU’s ONLINE DATABASES

If you take students to the library, please demonstrate to them how they can access
journal articles through the AGU Library database of electronic resources. Please use the
database for your private research and familiarize yourself with it. (Similar instructions, in
Japanese have been included in the students’ Academic Writing booklets.) To use the
database, follow these steps:

a) Go to AGU Library’s home page: http://www.agulin.aoyama.ac.jp/

 14

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

b) Click on 「データベース」. On the menu bar, it is the fourth item from left margin.
Next, you will see a screen like that reproduced below. Some databases are available
at the Shibuya Campus, some of them at the Sagamihara Campus, and others at the
junior college, and some from your home.

c) Click on any of the letters of the alphabet under 「アルファベット順」. Then, an

alphabetical listing of all the available databases will appear on the right. You’ll find the
following ones especially useful:

* Academic Search Elite Library (EBSCOhost)

* Communication & Mass Media Complete (EBSCOhost)
* EBSCOhost
 15

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

* Linguistics and Language Behavior Abstracts

* OED online
* ProQuest Central
* TESOL Quarterly (only available at the Shibuya Campus)
[All of the ones on the list are available from your home computer, except for TESOL
Quarterly.]

d) Click on “P,” then the name of a database, for example, ProQuest Central which
contains ProQuest Newspapers and Dissertations & Theses and you will be
prompted for your ID and password.

e) Your ID is your faculty ID number. When working on campus, you should put down the
full number exactly as it appears on your card, (ie. 000189). However, if you are
accessing the database from your home or another off campus location, then replace
the first “0” with a small letter “t.”

You will already have a password if you have been using a CALL room this year.
Some teachers have created passwords based on their date of birth. Therefore, if their
birthday is April 6, 1960, their password would be “19600406.” You can create a
password or reset your password by going to the Computing Office, 4F, B Building.
They will assist you in logging on and making a new password.

Each database has its own unique search interface. Each of the databases have
similar dialog boxes into which you will need to type a “search term.” The more specific
and focused your search term, the better your search results will be. Most of them
contain a button on the toolbar to switch languages. For example, the one for
EBSCO HOST looks like this:
 16

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

When you use ProQuest, you will be asked to choose which newspapers or
periodicals to search. The next screen for ProQuest looks like this:

a) Some of the articles are available in their entirety. If the entire article can be accessed,
you will see 「PDF 全文」or 「HTML 全文」under it. Clicking on those links will allow
you to download the complete text of the article.

NOTE: The method that students use for accessing the database is slightly different than
that of teachers. They will be prompted for their user ID and password. The user name
should be their student ID number with an “a” preceding it. The password should be their
date of birth; if their birthday is April 6, 1985, the password would be “19850406.”

In terms of EBSCOhost and JSTOR databases, page 49 of the student booklet

contains an activity on their use. The answers to it are as follows.

1) Mertz, E. (1994). Legal Language: Pragmatics, Poetics, and Social Power.

Annual Review of Anthropology, 23, 435-455.

2) Pronko, L. (1969). Freedom and Tradition in the Kabuki Actor's Art.

Educational Theatre Journal, 21, 2, May, 139-146.
 17

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

3) Morgan, M. (1994). Theories and Politics in African American English

Annual Review of Anthropology, 23, 325-345.

4) Harper Jr., H. (1971). Trends in Recent American Fiction.

Contemporary Literature, 12, 2, Spring, 204-229.

I.(h) SMART GOOGLE SEARCHES

The following guide was prepared by Eugene Barsky, a research librarian at the
University of British Columbia, in Vancouver, Canada. They are “Smart Google
Searches” because they can help a researcher find information quickly and more easily
than just typing in some general search terms.
 18

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Numerous other useful hints for effective searching can be found at:
 19

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/2466433?hl=en .

The following table is reprinted from that page (Accessed 7 June, 2015):

Symbol How to use punctuation symbols

Search for Google+ pages or blood types
+ Examples: +Chrome or AB+

Find social tags

@ Example: @agoogler
Find prices
$ Example: nikon $400

Find popular hashtags for trending topics

# Example: #throwbackthursday

When you use a dash before a word or site, it excludes sites with that info from your results. This
- is useful for words with multiple meanings, like Jaguar the car brand and jaguar the animal.
Examples: jaguar speed -car or pandas -site:wikipedia.org
When you put a word or phrase in quotes, the results will only include pages with the same words
in the same order as the ones inside the quotes. Only use this if you're looking for an exact word
" or phrase, otherwise you'll exclude many helpful results by mistake.
Example: "imagine all the people"
Add an asterisk as a placeholder for any unknown or wildcard terms. .
* Example: "a * saved is a * earned"
Separate numbers by two periods without spaces to see results that contain numbers in a range.
.. Example: camera $50..$100

Note: When you search using operators or punctuation marks, don't add any spaces between the
operator and your search terms. A search for site:japanTimes.com will work, but site:
japantimes.com won't.

I.(i) YOUR CLASS AS A WRITING COMMUNITY

As much as possible, use peer editing and peer response with your students. This will
encourage them to view writing as a process of drafting and revision. You may also wish
to have your students post their essays for other classmates to read and comment upon.

You can set up peer exchanges outside of class as well through using e-mail and student
partners, or through creating a class blog site (ie. https://www.blogger.com). As much as
possible, you should accustom your students to reviewing their writing with partners and
in small groups. These measures will improve their work, their recognition of their
mistakes, and reduce the number of errors you have to correct.

You can set up peer exchanges outside of class as well through using e-mail and student
 20

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

partners. As much as possible, you should accustom your students to reviewing their
writing with partners and in small groups of other students. These measures will improve
their work, their recognition of their mistakes, and reduce the number of errors you have
to correct in their work.

II. TEACHING THE APA STYLE

Both APA and MLA are used in the English department. But more professors use the
APA Style. So, rather than try to teach both, we have chosen to teach the APA Style.
We introduce the APA Style in IE Writing II, and emphasized it further with the book
reports and media and newspaper discussions in the IE II and III Core classes.

Refer students to the Academic Writing Students Booklet to see the main
aspects of it. In class, if you have computer access, demonstrate the use of the
following website. Students may have been shown this in other classes, so this
should just be a review. Assign your students practice examples for homework:
1) http://citationmachine.net/index2.php
THE EXAMPLES ARE ALSO SHOWN P.17 OF THE 2014 AW STUDENTS’ BOOK.

Just input the information and choose the APA style.

 21

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

The student booklet for the Academic Writing course includes numerous examples of
website citations, so there is no need to repeat that information in these teachers’ notes.
There are some general principles, however, for electronic references for you to teach:
a) Single space between lines; indent every line after the first one double space between
bibliographic entries;
b) Omit the elements that are irrelevant or unavailable;
c) When page numbers are not available to identify part of an electronic document, use
chapter or section information;
d) When a document consists of multiple pages or sites, provide the URL of whatever
page provides easiest access to all of them (ie. the home page).
Earlier in this guide, there were references to websites to aid in Critical Thinking and on
how to evaluate the reliability of websites. Additional information about citing electronic
sources can be found at the American Psychological Association website and the
following Internet sites.

http://www.citationmachine.net/
https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/18/
http://guides.is.uwa.edu.au/ld.php?content_id=17350815
 22

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Here are some examples of electronic references, drawn from those on the website of the
University of Pennsylvania Library. These are also in the student guide book.
There will be some instances (ie. multi-author CD rom) where you may be hard
pressed to find the right form because it is different from any of these examples. While it
is important to get the APA format correct, the principle behind citations and references
is to accustom students to doing research and to citing their sources.

II.(a) CITING ELECTRONIC RESOURCES

Author Family Name, First Name (If no Author is given, alphabeticize by the Title). (Date of
electronic publication). Title or description such as ‘homepage.’ Name of database
or online services. Pages of paragraphs or sections used. Retrieved [Date of
access] <URL>.

a) Electronic book
Tucker, K., Westerfield. (2001). American Methodist Worship. New York: Oxford UP. Retrieved
December 2, 2001, from http://digital.library.upenn.edu/ebooks/pdfs/019512698X.pdf.

b) From e-journals
Janssen, M. C. (2001, October). On the Principle of Coordination. Economics and Philosophy,
17(2), 221-234. http://dx.doi.org/10.1017/S0266267101000244.

c) From EBSCOhost (a service to which AGU library subscribes offering

numerous databases)
Jefferey, R. M., & French, S. A. (1998). Epidemic Obesity in the United Sates: Are Fast Foods
and Television Viewing Contributing? American Journal of Public Health, 88(2), 277-281.
Retrieved July 17, 2009, from Business Source Premier.

d) From full-text databases

Gourevitch, V. (2000, March). "Rousseau on Providence." The Review of Metaphysics.
Expanded Academic ASAP. Retrieved December 2, 2001, from
http://web7.infotrac.galegroup.com/itw/infomark/429/324/18810857w7/purl=rc1_EAIM_0_A
7069 645 4&dyn=4!xrn_9_0_A70696454?sw_aep=upenn_main.

e) From online newspapers

Wilford, J. N. (2001, December 2). Artifacts in Africa Suggest an Earlier Modern Human. New
York Times. Retrieved December 2, 2001, from
http://www.nytimes.com/2001/12/02/science/social/02BONE.html.

f) From full-text databases

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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Wilford, J. N. (2001, December 2). Artifacts in Africa Suggest an Earlier Modern Human. New
York Times. Retrieved December 2, 2001, from http://web.lexis-nexis .com/universe.

g) Electronic book
Tucker, K., Westerfield. (2001). American Methodist Worship. New York: Oxford UP. Retrieved
December 2, 2001, from http://digital.library.upenn.edu/ebooks/pdfs/019512698X.pdf.

II.(b) IN-TEXT CITATIONS

This is a very technical aspect of academic essay writing, so please ensure that your
students understand how to do it. APA Style requires that you identify the location of any
cited information as precisely as possible in brackets. This reference consists of the
author’s name, or is placed at the end of the quotation in brackets.

Unfortunately, Internet sources rarely come with page numbers, so instead of using page
numbers, note any internal divisions in the URL.

Each quotation will also need a transition phrase to introduce it. The material is drawn
from the website of the University of Pennsylvania Library.

a) Work by a single author

Several rivers aside from the Thames once intersected London, but they have
since been covered by the city (Clayton 28).

b) Work by a single author named in the text

Antony Clayton points out that several rivers other than the Thames once
intersected London, but they have since been covered by the city (28).

c) Work by two authors

The unemployed men and women in Denmark have had the right to request
job-related activities such as training, but recently this has become an obligation
(Rosdahl and Weise 160).

d) Work by three or more authors

Cite all authors the first time the reference occurs; in subsequent citations, include
only the last name of the first author follow by et al.

e) Electronic Sources
Electronic sources are cited in the typical author-page number style with one
difference: when an Internet site does not have page numbers, offer other location
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

information such as screen or paragraph (par.) number.

Because of Greece's physical characteristics – a jagged coast made almost all

settlements within 40 miles of the sea-- the ancient Greeks relied on the sea for
most long-distance traveling (Martin sec. 2.4).

f) Multivolume Works
Most of Plato's ideas about love are recorded in the Symposium (Singer 1: 48)
while Ficino's are in the Commentary on Plato's Symposium (Singer 2: 168).

g) Works by corporate authors

Between 1970 and 1994, expenditures on information processing equipment
rose at an annual rate of 9.7 percent (Natl. Research Council 25).

h) Indirect quotations
Use this form to cite a quotation that was identified by its being a quotation in
another (not the original) source.

John Evelyn described London's churchyards as being filled with bodies "one
above the other, to the very top of the walls, and some above the walls" (qtd. in
Clayton 14).

i) Classic Literary and Religious Works

When citing a classic work that is available in multiple editions, try to provide
location information (chapter, section, verse, etc.) beyond the page number.

Wittgenstein writes, "the philosopher's treatment of a question is like the

treatment of an illness" (Wittgenstein 91: sec. 255).”

When citing plays, poems or the bible, omit page numbers and cite by
division (act, scene, canto, book, part, etc.) and line.

Queen Gertrude is concerned about Hamlet's great distress over his father's
death, saying "Do not for ever with thy vailed lids / seeks for they noble father in
the dust: / thou know'st 'tis common; all that lives must die..." (Ham. 1.2.70-72).

SAMPLE ESSAY:
Examples of APA used with bibliographies, in-text citations, and an entire essay written
 25

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

with the APA style can be found at… https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/560/18/

SIX COMMON MISTAKES IN STUDENT ESSAY CITATIONS:

1. Using all CAPITAL letters for a book or journal title.

2. Forgetting to indent the 2nd line of the bibliographic item.
3. Missing periods, especially after the <URL>.
4. Failing to reformat the <URL> to change it from an underlined hyperlink.
5. Missing dates.
6. Omitting the most recent printing of a book.

III. ADDRESSING PLAGIARISM

For a number of reasons, including inexperience in writing essays, students plagiarize
(tosaku, the noun, and hyosetsu suru, the verb form) material from other sources.
Appropriately enough, the term “plagiarize” is derived from the Latin word for
“kidnapping.”

We have to address the issue in a number of ways, including (a) teaching them the
concept of plagiarism and fair use, (b) good note-taking from source materials, (c) the
proper use of quotations, (d) paraphrasing and summarizing materials, (e) .

The University of Melbourne has a three-point plan with 36 different strategies to

minimize plagiarism:

1. Make your expectations clear to your students.

2. Design your assignments in such a way as to minimize the opportunities

for plagiarism, and breaking the essay up into smaller assignments.

3. Monitor, detect, and swiftly respond to incidents of plagiarism.

The 36 strategies include:

a) Review the skills of summarizing and paraphrasing.
b) Teach students how to build an argument.
c) Teach the skills of referencing and citation.
d) Include mini-assignments (check in the student booklet) in creating a
bibliography, thesis writing, preparing notes, etc. in the essay assignment.
e) Ask students to make brief presentations (check in the student booklet for
details on assessment) to the rest of the class.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

f) Ask students to hand in an annotated bibliography or notecards before the

assignment is due.
g) Ask students to do a short self-reflection paper, ie. “What did you learn from
this assignment?”
or “What problems did you encounter and how did you overcome them?”
h) Demonstrate a search engine in class to identify the sites that students are
likely to find and plagiarize.
i) Demonstrate to students your awareness of electronic search engines and
how easy it is to detect examples of plagiarism.

III.(a) DEFINING PLAGIARISM

Begin by describing the type of information that does need to be documented;
statements of fact such as the Prime Minister of Japan or that the 2020 Summer
Olympics are going to be in Tokyo. A simple rule of thumb for students is that any
numbers, or specialized information that they couldn’t know must be referenced.
Proverbs or well-known quotations need not be referenced.

1. Review the rules with students. Show clear examples of plagiarism and of
appropriately acknowledged sources that have been referenced by page.
But if showing work from a student in the class, conceal the student’s name.
The point is not to humiliate students publicly but to ensure that the class is
aware that plagiarism is easily detected and is a serious matter.

In addition, examples of paraphrases should be shown as well. See the

Exercises on page 51 in the appendix of the student guide for exercises in
developing paraphrases.

The following table is included in the student booklet.

Document Your References Fair Use

1. When you quote someone else’s 1. When you reach some original
words, or even ideas, conclusion or describe a
paraphrase or summarize them personal experience
from any book, interview,
newspaper, radio broadcast, 2. When you write about
software, TV program, or website something commonly known or
at least well known in your field
2. When you copy any statistics, or of study
graphic
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

III.(b) DETECTING PLAGIARISM

The first means of detection is your knowledge of your students and their relative
abilities. Often, weaker students, or those with frequent absences from Academic
Writing panic and hand in plagiarised papers. Like most of the plagiarised papers that
we see, there are passages in paper, rather than the whole paper that is plagiarised.

You can usually find a plagiarised paper through a close reading of it. If it is almost
error-free, or contains completely error-free passages, complex grammatical
constructions far above the student’s ability, and/or contains unusual vocabulary of
archaisms, it is usually copied.

Secondly, you can check for plagiarism by pasting suspected sentences into the
search box of “Google” and it will often direct you to the site where students have
gotten the material. This works very well with checking book reports for plagiarism in
the IE Core classes of the IE Program. It also works for much of the “copy-and-paste”
plagiarism that we see in IE Writing II, III, and Academic Writing.

A very common type of student plagiarism is simply a failure to properly cite

references, often due to inexperience in writing essays, and in using quotations.
Therefore, frequent examples discussed in class, and in-class writing activities
are of great use.

III. (c) USING QUOTATIONS

There are a number of exercises in the student guide on quotations, so some general
guidelines are all that will be covered here. First of all, students often translate
quotations from Japanese into English and use them as direct quotations. They are
not direct quotations, but technically would have to be handled as paraphrased
quotations with appropriate transitions and page references.

Few of our students do these translations very well; some go as far as translating
sentences and whole paragraphs by using online translation software. These are
comically inaccurate.

http://www.worldlingo.com/wl/mstranslate/UP26384/T1/P2/l/

You might try this yourself by asking your students to translate an English sentence
into Japanese, then showing them the machine-translated version, and then finishing
off by translating it back to English. This will show them the ridiculous results. An
example of a news story translated into Japanese and then back to English is included
in the Academic Writing Student Guide on page 29 with exercises in doing a
paraphrase by starting with note-taking.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Direct students to record the quotations they plan to use onto note cards.
This will force them to introduce a further step into their writing process.
The note cards can be checked against their essays later as well for an
in-class quoting and summarizing activity.

III.(d) PARAPHRASING AND SUMMARIZING

These two terms are often used inter-changeably in most writing texts. We would
appreciate if you could make a teachable distinction for the students between
paraphrase for phrases and summaries for larger blocks of text such as
paragraphs or page-length content.

As well, choose summarizing activities where the students have to render large
blocks of text into a few very concise sentences.

1. One very good suggestion for teaching paraphrases is to show students an

OHC projection of a sentence. Allow them to discuss it with a partner. (This well
help ensure that they understand it). Then require them to do a paraphrase
from memory.

2. Next, you check their version against the original for content, accuracy, and
mistakenly plagiarized phrases; they can, of course, include exact phrases,
but these must be identified with quotation marks and referenced.

III.(e) NOTE-TAKING
The best way to get your students to avoid plagiarizing their sources is to start with
classroom exercises in which they carefully take notes of a source. Next, assign them
some note-taking from one of their sources. This could then be checked in the
following class against the original source.

I. Note Cards
Note cards can be used in the course to encourage your students to record their
direct quotations, paraphrases, and summaries. Note cards are a very effective
way of dealing with plagiarism because they promote more planning of the essay.
You could collect them from students in advance of a first draft and therefore
promote better planning, or you might ask for them at the end of the process;
however, some students may simply produce the note cards after they have
written the essay.

These note cards are usually small cards about 7cm by 12cm in size. Students should
note the “author” of the material as well as “the page number” from which the material
was collected. The author and page number should be put on the top of the card.
 29

TEACHERS’ GUIDE

The students don’t need to put down publishing information because they will already
have that information in their bibliographies.

On the rest of the card, they should record direct quotations from their sources.
They might also put down any paraphrases or summaries of their references.

III.(f) STRATEGIES TO AVOID PLAGIARISM IN

QUOTATIONS
Teach your students to avoid using key adjectives and phrases such as the ones
in bold type in the text if they are paraphrasing a quotation. Of course, the
underlined words are essential in using this quote, so students would be best
advised to simply use quotation marks.

Original (In Vancouver Sun)

Four years after she won five gold medals and set two world records at the
2000 Sydney Paralympics as a precocious 16-year old, Swimmer Stephanie
Dixon swam faster in all her events in Athens – and came home with just
one gold medal.

Other strategies:
1. Vary your signal phrases—
a) As Gary Kingston has noted…
b) Gary Kingston emphasizes…
Use the verb that best fits the sentence: admits, argues, analyzes, believes,
concedes, endorses, points out, questions, refutes, rejects, reports, states, writes-

3. Use only quoted phrases instead of a whole sentence. Again, there is an

exercise in the student booklet on page 52

According to Gary Kingston, in the 2000 Sydney Paralympics, Canadian

swimmer Stephanie Dixon won “five gold medals” and she made “two
world records” while only sixteen years old. But at the next Paralympics,
even though she swam faster, she only won a single gold medal
(Kingston, p. E1, 2008).

Reference:
Kingston, G. (2008). Paralympics: Canadian Athletes Aren’t Discouraged
That Their Medal Total May Drop in Beijing. Vancouver Sun, E1.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

III.(g) THE STUDENT WRITING DATABASE

Our newest tool in combatting student plagiarism is the English Department’s
Writing Database, initiated in the Spring of 2015. Already, there are more than two
thousand pieces of student writing which can be easily searched. As with IE
Writing, we require you to have your students upload the final draft of their
Academic Writing essay. Please see that last part of this guide for full instructions.

IV. CLASSROOM ACTIVITIES

The Academic Writing classroom is supposed to be an active one, not one where
the students quietly sit doing their homework while the teacher sits at the front of
the class and grades papers. Neither should it be one in which groups of students
led by the able writers among them produce a "group essay."

Furthermore, as mentioned elsewhere in this guide, please do not excuse some

students from class while you conference with others. Instead, organize your class
in such a way that students always have something writing to do: brainstorming,
drafting, rewriting, responding to each other’s work, or preparing for their
presentations. You should organize different work groups for this purpose.

You should be directing a writing workshop. Sometimes, this means inter-acting

with small groups of students.

At other times, you will be directing the whole class, explaining the structure of an
essay, perhaps using an overhead project to analyse typical student errors, or
even organizing a writing game.

Games also are a very effective way to interest students in writing. As well, games
offer opportunities for students to teach one another about writing. Finally, they
help develop a sense of community among the students in your class.

Games are easily created by (a)giving students writing problems to solve within set
time limits, (b)creating competitions around writing activities, (c)making the writing
process part of a communicative activity.

Depending on how the writing tasks are introduced, games can provide students
with a hands-on-manipulation of the language. As well, games can help students
understand the difference between writing modes. Some of the many possible
activities in your class are listed below:

1. Small group activities of two or three students, reacting to and

making suggestions regarding a paper (perhaps a rough draft)
produced by a third student.
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TEACHERS’ GUIDE

2. Composing-on-the-board, with volunteers making attempts to solve a

given writing problem on the blackboard, for example, reworking part
of a paper by a classmate.

3. Whole class discussions of one, two, or three photocopied papers

produced by class members, (the writers of the papers should remain
anonymous).

4. Conferencing, the teacher circulating in class to help

individuals with writing problems while the other members of the
class work in groups on their papers.

5. Editing lessons for the whole class, dealing with a limited problem
that all have in common.

6. Sentence combining problems where teams of students compete in

rewriting short, simple sentences into longer, complex ones where
there is a use of coordinate and subordinate conjunctions. (See the
exercises on page 41 of the Appendix of Academic Writing student
booklet).

7. Exercises for expanding and developing paragraphs or thesis

statements involving the entire class or groups of students.

8. Class discussion of the audience for a paper, and then adjusting the
paper for that audience.

9. Critical discussion of a reading -- How did the author get this effect?
What are the transitions?

10. Sample essay exam questions for reading, analyzing, and answering.

11. Language games, such as the "round-robin sentence," in which

students successively add adverbs or other modifiers to a base
sentence, or activities that emphasize transitions. Another game is
"sentence deletion" where students take turns reducing a sentence
to its shortest grammatical length.

12. Paragraph cohesion games based on correctly ordering scrambled

sentences into a well-organized paragraph.
32 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

V. GRAMMATICAL ERRORS
Most research on teaching grammar to first and second language students is
critical of the methods by which grammar lessons are taught to a whole class.
Instead, the research conclusions focus on four main points.

1) Avoid teaching too much grammar through lecturing to the class and
providing handouts. Grammar is best taught to your students within the
context of each student’s writing.

2) However, certain points that might be new to the majority of your

students such as the use of the semi-colon, or of subordinate
conjunctions, for example, might be handled through a short lecture on
their use, then classroom exercises. You might handle them through some
group work or even a competition where students in small groups try to
write the correct answers to questions on the board.

3) Correct student errors mostly on an individual/specific basis, dealing

with each student’s errors through written comments on the student’s
paper and a short conference about them.

4) Whole-class lessons on errors might also come from notes you make
after you have graded all your students’ essays and noted common errors.

After concealing the student’s names, you could then show some of these
errors in a handout, on the OHC, or on the blackboard, then set the class
to correcting them. Studentscould work individually, and then again in
groups, share them with each other in the class, and then you could
correct them again.

An excellent source for handouts on grammar is “OWL,” the online writing

learning centre created by Purdue University. Of particular interest to our
students and program are their English as a Second Language worksheets on
adjectives and prepositions, and their Grammar, Punctuation, and Spelling
worksheets which include one on sentence fragments. These are available as
pdf files and can be easily printed (purdruni.

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/print/index.html
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 33

VI. RESPONSES TO WRITING

It is not necessary to correct each piece of student writing, or each draft of their
essay. There are other effective ways to deal with student errors first. Student
checklists are an effective way, followed by peer evaluation n individual paragraphs,
and the first draft of their essays.

Most Academic Writing teachers grade the shorter assignments such as the
bibliography and the outline (as described in the “Steps” earlier in this guide). Then,
they usually only respond in detail to two drafts of each student’s essay. These
drafts whould be examined in late November and early December. The teacher
grades the papers using the marking symbols on page 76 in the appendix of the
student guide and which appear at the end of this guide.

1. Afterward, tell your students to find and identify the errors. This leaves the
problem-solving to them.

2. Brief impromptu teacher-student conferences can be undertaken with

individual students while the other students in the class are revising their
papers. But please ensure that the other students are not merely waiting
their turn. They should be revising their work or engaged in another
assignment.

VI.(a) A PROTOCOL FOR CONFERENCING

Teacher-student writing conferences need a strong focus. Research indicates that
students should feel that they have some control over the process.

If you simply comment on one of your student’s papers, then very often the student
will nod, apparently agreeing, but afterward will make few successful revisions.

A more effective conference will include a more active role for the student.

A student conference should (1) be limited to 5 - 10 minutes at maximum, (2) focus

on a complete early draft of the essay, (3) balance criticism of student work with
praise, (4) incorporate student negotiation in the conference (through helping a
student to formulate questions, and to confirm teacher remarks), (5) conclude with
a student verbalizing what he or she will do next, and (6)finally, that teachers track
the results of the meeting in terms of the student’s progress on the next draft.

The most straightforward approach to helping students formulate questions is to

mark their papers with your marking symbols (on page 71in the Appendix of the
Academic Writing Student Booklet and at the end of this guide), then ask them to
review the symbols and your comments and to note any questions they have.

You might also use the Conferencing Form suggested by Joy Reid (1993) in which
students answer questions about their essays before and after the conference.
34 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Afterwards, they revise their writing.

Conferencing Form:

1. I thought the best part of my essay was...

2. I thought the weakest part of my essay was...

3. According to your instructor’s comments:

Strengths: Weaknesses:
a) a)

b) b)

4. Based on the feedback, I will...

5. Three questions I want to ask are...

Reference:
Reid, J. (1993). Teaching ESL Writing. New York: Prentice and Hall, 222-3.

VI.(b) RECORDED CONFERENCES

An impressive body of research exists on teachers’ audio responses to student writing
as an effective corrective feedback (Olesova, 2013; in review). Boswood and Dwyer
(1995) note that audio recordings may help students to better understand a teacher’s
feedback than written commentary alone. Hyland (1990) reports that students prefer a
combination of written and audio feedback. Olesova contends that audio feedback
“may encourage teachers to deliver more feedback on content in comparison to written
feedback alone” (p.27). Audio feedback assists teachers in commenting on student
ideas rather than focusing on student errors.

To provide this type of feedback, you must have all your students’ e-mail addresses.
Next, you use an app (most tablets’ sell them). For example, 10 have an app called
“Voice Recorder.”
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 35

You can find it easily by

checking under the apps
in the Windows symbol in
the lower lefthand side
(See Fig. 1).

Fig. 1

Then scroll down the

alphabetically listed
apps until you find Voice
Recorder and click your
mouse on it (See Fig. 2).

Fig. 2

Once the program

opens, it’s simple and
intuitive in terms of its
operation. You click
the mic icon and begin
recording.

Fig. 3
36 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Icons on the lower righthand side of the screen enable you to e-mail the sound file,
trash it, or edit it (See Fig. 3). Or you can choose one of three other options: settings
(mic volume), feedback to Microsoft, or open file location and find the file and drag
it to your desktop. After that you can easily attach the sound file to an e-mail and
send it to a student.

VI.(c) MARKING SYMBOLS

Teachers most often respond to student papers with written comments or by
correction of student errors. However, the comments are often hard for students to
read or to understand. In addition, some researchers criticize error correction for its
inconsistency. Others suggest that if teachers give students the answers, the
students will never learn how to fix their errors.

A more effective response is to identify error types and to encourage students to

focus on correcting these in their writing. The teacher circles or underlines all of a
student’s errors or at least the representative ones and requires the student to
correct them. Even if a teacher misses some of these grammatical errors, a student
can still discern a pattern of error.

Teachers usually respond to student papers with written comments rather than by
conferencing. But these same written comments can also be discussed and clarified
during a student-teacher conference.

More effective responses in promoting student revision are to identify error types
and to frame questions or requests for information to encourage students to develop
their writing. The teacher circles or underlines all of a student’s errors or at least
representative ones and requires the student to correct them.

This process starts with the teacher distributing a handout of the editing symbols
(See the Appendix in the Academic Writing Student Booklet or the last pages of this
teacher guide).

Most students will have been introduced to these same symbols in earlier IE Writing
classes. Please use them to help teachers are different levels of the program. We
are trying to standardize them for the whole IE Program.

Each symbol identifies a writing error common to Japanese students and the
handout includes a sentence with the error in it. Before returning your students’
papers, you might go over the error types and have students individually try
correcting them, one by one. Afterward, students might compare their answers in
pairs. Later, the teacher reviews the answers on the blackboard or OHC.

The teacher might also show examples of more substantive comments on a paper,
such as those relating to content or essay organization. For example, a flawed
student essay comparing the Japanese and English languages might prompt the
teacher to remark: “At this point, your thesis is not clear about which parts of the two
languages you plan to compare.”
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 37

The point of this part of the activity is to sensitize students to other kinds of writing
errors they will make in the essay, errors related to organization and content, for
example. Again, this activity is done using the blackboard or an OHC.

This activity could lead easily into a writing conference with each student. After the
papers are returned to the students, each student reviews the comments on his or
her paper and begins to correct them. Each student does this while waiting for a
student-teacher conference. The students also use the class time to rewrite their
papers. This activity of either revising or conferencing for a class of 25 students
occupies most of the instructional time over a two-week period.

VI.(d) COMMENTING ONLINE

Using MS Word 2010 (the software for Microsoft Office is available free from the
Computing Center), you can also highlight passages in a student’s paper, and add
comments in the margin. It is even possible to leave audio comments, too.

VII. PRESENTATIONS
Because one function of the Academic Writing course is to prepare students for
discussions and presentations on literature, linguistics, and communications in
seminars in their third and fourth year classes, we ask Academic Writing teachers to
have their students prepare a presentation. This task takes about two classes to
complete and offers teachers some “breathing time” to read and mark students’
papers. You might schedule it in early December after collecting your students’
second draft. Alternately, you may wish to do it as a type of summative evaluation
activity at the end of the course.

To run the task most easily, assign one student in class to be the timekeeper. This
will leave you free to watch and rate and write a note to the presenter and give the
student immediate feedback after their presentation as well as cutting down on your
marking.

Ideally, the students should practise making presentations in small groups. For
faster-working students who may have already finished a written draft, this practice
will allow them to present first.

Usually, the same students serve as good role models for the rest of the students.
For further practice, students could be required to audio tape themselves so that
they can review their efforts before their presentation. This pre-task approach will
greatly improve their presentations.

In addition, the presentation should be marked according to a set of criteria and this
criteria should be explained to students in advance. The best presentations are
those in which students have prepared note cards, and rehearsed their speech.
Some teachers even require their students to prepare a presentation in power point
as well.
38 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

A presentation should include:

a) an introduction to the research topic
b) a summary of the main points or topics
c) any surprising or interesting facts the writer discovered
d) comments on how the student felt after writing the essay
e) conclude with a personal view of the topic.

We have copies of videotaped Academic Writing presentations available for

sign-out and a rating scale for these as well. Most teachers find that by viewing
these with their students and rating them will give students a very good idea of the
standards for this task.

The following scale is also included in the Academic Writing Student Booklet.

PRESENTATION /10 marks

1. Kept eye contact with your audience
2. Spoke freely, didn’t just read notes
3. Explained thesis clearly
4. Presented at least 3 topics
5. Gave examples for each topic.

VIII.ESSAY RATING SCALES

A number of years ago, we drew a series of marked essay samples drawn from
students’ second drafts in Academic Writing. These papers were marked with a
six-point scale based on the rating scales developed from the TWE (Test of Written
English) and IELTS (International English Language Testing System).

Each step on the scale indicates a level of performance:

a) organization
- thesis statement
- topic sentences
- transitions
b) content
- use of examples
- quotations
- page references
- bibliography
- minimum of 1,500 words
c) structure
- sentence variety
- frequency of grammatical errors
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 39

Organization 1. Thesis - clearly stated, indicating topics to be developed

2. Topic sentences - appropriate, varied transitional phrases
3. Paragraphs - developed examples, quotations, page
6 Content references
4. Bibliography - 7 books, journals, websites, or newspapers
5. 2,000 word minimum content
6. Sentences - frequent variations in sentence structure
Structure 7. Grammatical errors - few and not likely to impede
communication
Organization

5 Content
Missing two features of a “6" essay.

Structure

Organization 1. Thesis - present but too general

2. Topic sentences - sometimes inappropriate or formulaic
3. Paragraphs - some examples, but poorly explained
4 Content 4. Bibliography - incomplete
5. Minimum of 2,000 words

Structure 6. Sentences - a few variations in patterns

7. Grammatical errors - these occur often and block
communication
Organization

3 Content
Missing four features of a “6" essay.

Structure

Organization 1. Thesis - undeveloped or inappropriate

2. Topic sentences - none or inappropriate
3. Paragraphs - lacking quotations, page references and
2 Content discussion
4. Bibliography - missing
5. Minimum of 2,000 words is not reached
Structure 6. Sentences - no sentences are error-free
7. Grammatical errors - make it difficult to follow the writing

Organization
 40 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

Minimal response
1 Content

Structure

In the teacher marking sessions several years ago, the order of essays B, E was
sometimes reversed so either order might be satisfactory. The correct order of the
essays is as follows:

6 (B, E)
5 (E, B)
4 (D)
3 (C)
2 (F)
1 (A)

IX. GROUP RATINGS

A package of student essays illustrating a range of grades is included in the
Academic Writing Student Booklet. They are intended to teach them about
standards of writing performance. First, students should read and rate the essays
for homework. In the following class, set them working in groups to decide on a
group score for the essays. This makes the activity more communicative and
provides a means for students to teach one another aspects of essay writing.

During their discussion, they should refer to the features of each essay. After the
group has decided on the score for each essay, a group member writes the scores
on the board.

When all the groups have written their scores on the board, compare them,
explaining what the right scoring was supposed to be and the reasons why some
essays are weaker than others. The winning group is closest to the Academic
Writing Teachers’ scores.

1. Students read the essays, comment on them, and rate them for
homework.

2. The teacher checks the homework in class.

3. The students compare their results in groups.

 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 41

They decide on a group mark by convincing the other students to agree

or disagree.

4. As part of an in-class competition, groups compare their results, choose

an answer for the group, then their group ratings on the board.

5. Make sure that students have the essays correctly marked at the end of
the activity, so that they can use them for reference when writing.

IX.(a) TEACHER COMMENTS ON THE ESSAYS

Though it is hard to find the thesis because the introductory
6 (B) paragraph is so long, the thesis, the last sentence in the
introductory paragraph is a clearly stated comparison of
John Irving and his fictional character, T.S. Garp. The
paragraphs in the essay, well over 2000 words, are
well-developed and include quotations and references.
There is a bibliography, sentence variety, and few
grammatical errors relative to the length of the essay and
the complexity of the vocabulary.

5 (E) Not as much content, vocabulary, or sentence variety as

essay B. More importantly, there are more frequent
grammatical errors. However, all the other elements, the
thesis, topic sentences, bibliography, and examples are
present.

4 (D) Few variations in sentence patterns. The grammatical

errors block communication.

3 (C) The thesis and topic sentences are not very clear. The
transition (“Next”) are repetitious. There are many
grammatical errors. The essay is less than 2,000 words.

2 (F) The thesis is very unclear and the topic sentences are
sketchy, poorly constructed. The paragraphs lack
cohesion and there are frequent grammatical errors. The
student has done some research, however, and there is a
partial bibliography although incorrectly done.
 42 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

1 (A) No thesis, only one topic sentence. Only two paragraphs,

far less than the 2,000 word minimum. Worse still, the
choice of words and phrasing make it appear that the
essay looks plagiarized from an encyclopedia, but as there
are no references so it is hard to say where the source as
the choice of words and sentences seem copied. There is
no bibliography.

IX.(b) STUDENT MODELS

Finally, some 5 outstanding student research essays have been included in the student
guide. They are drawn from topics on literature and communication and illustrate
comparison and contrast among other genres. You should refer to them in class and
have student locate and underline thesis statements, transitions and topic sentences,
and the use of examples and quotations and their discussion.

X. TEACHER RESOURCES
Some of these texts can be found in the Teacher Resource Center, 9F, English Department.

Boswood, T., Dwyer, R. (1995). From marking to feedback: Audio- taped responses to
student writing. TESOL Journal, 5(2), 20-23.

Carroll, J. (2000, November). Plagiarism: Is there a virtual solution? Teaching News.

Retrieved September 8, 2008, from
http://www.brookes.ac.uk/services/ocsd/2_learntch/pla giarism.html.

Crowell, S., & Kolba, E. (1990). The Essay. New York: Educational Design.

Culwin, F., & Lancaster, T. (n.d.). Plagiarism, Prevention, Deterrence & Detection. Retrieved
September 8, 2008, from http://www.ilt.ac.uk/resources/Culwin-Lancaster.html
Evans, J. (2000, August 6). The new plagiarism in higher education: From selection to
reflection. Interactions, 4(2). Retrieved September 8, 2008, from
http://www.warwick.ac.uk/ETS/interactions/Vol4no2/evans.htm.
Gibelman, G. M. (n.d.). The downside of cyberspace:Cheating made easy. Journal of Social
Work Education, 35(3), 367-376.

Frydenberg, G., & Boardman, C. A. (1990). You're In Charge: Writing to Communicate.

Boston: Addison-Wesley.

Hyland, K. (1990). Producing Productive Feedback. ELT Journal, 44, 4, 279-285.

Kingston, G. (2008). Paralympics: Canadian Athletes Aren’t Discouraged That Their Medal
 TEACHERS’ GUIDE 43

Total May Drop in Beijing. Vancouver Sun, E1.

Olesova, L. (2013). Feedback in online course for non-native English-speaking students.

Cambridge: Cambridge Scholars Publishing.

Oshima, A., & Hogue, A. (2013). Essays. (5th ed.) Longman: Pearson Education ESL:
Hoboken, N.J.

Raimes, Ann. (1983). Techniques in Teaching Writing. UK: Oxford University Press.

Reid, Joy. (1988). The Process of Composition. New York: Prentice-Hall.

Reid, Joy. (1993). Teaching ESL Writing. New York: Prentice-Hall.

X.(a) FURTHER REFERENCES

Ferris, D. (1995). Student Reactions to Teacher Response in Multiple-Draft
Composition Classrooms. TESOL Quarterly 29, 33-52.

Ferris, D. (1997). The Influence of Teacher Commentary on Student Revision, TESOL Quarterly
31, 315-339.

Ferris, D. (2001). Teaching Writing for Academic Purposes.” Ed. J. Flowerdew, M. Peacock.
Research Perspectives in English for Academic Purposes. Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press, 331-346.

Hillocks, Jr., George. (1986). Research on Written Composition: New directions for Teaching.
Urbana, IL: National Council for Research in English: ERIC.

Kitagawa, M., & C. Kitagawa. (1987). Making Connections with Writing: An Expressive
Writing Model in Japanese Schools. Portsmouth, NH: Heinemann.

Raimes, A.(1991). Out of the Woods: Emerging Traditions in the Teaching of Writing.
TESOL Quarterly 25, 407-430.
44 TEACHERS’ GUIDE

XI. MARK-UP SYMBOLS

A? Article missing He is __A?__ tallest boy in the class.
WA
WA Wrong article He gave me a advice.
C
C Capitalization She was a politician in japan.
FRAG
FRAG Fragment Because there are many problems.
K/L
K/L Confusion over I hope to know about it.
know and learn
P
P Punctuation Some plants can move _Most cannot move.
Pl
Pl Plural These story are translated.
PREP
PREP Preposition She is very kind ___ children.
WPREP
WPREP Wrong preposition He is excellent to sports.
PRON
PRON Missing pronoun She bought the book, so it is book.
WPRO
WPRO Wrong pronoun She bought the book, so it is his book.
REP
REP Repetition Scientists do scientists' work, scientifically.
ROS
ROS Run-on-sentence Everybody talks, nobody listens.
SP
SP Spelling He lives in Canda.
SVA
SVA Subject/verb The men in the factory works hard.
T
T Wrong tense I watch the film last night.
V
V Verb missing He a fat man.
WV
WV Wrong verb form Tea is grow in India and Japan.
WO
WO Word order Can you tell me the station is where?
TEACHERS= NOTES 45

XII. THE WRITING DATABASE

Since 2016, we have required all students in IE Writing and Academic Writing to upload the
final draft of their written assignments to the new “Database of Student Writing.” In this way,
we will rapidly build up a collection of student writing as a deterrent against plagiarism.

All students in IE Core are required to upload the final draft of their book reports to the
“Database of Student Writing,” which was established in our 2015 academic year. Students in
all levels of IE Writing will have to upload the final draft of their paragraphs and essays to the
database, as well. With this rapidly accumulating collection of student writing, it will be
increasingly difficult for students to intentionally (or inadvertently) plagiarize from each other.

The way it works is that…

(a) students upload their papers to a particular website after logging onto it.
(b) after the paper has been successfully uploaded, a unique “reference number” is
generated that students must print out and give to their teacher.
(c) with that “reference number,” the teacher is able to download the paper and, at the
same time, confirm that it was not plagiarized, either in part or entirely.

How students use the database for submitting written work

All students, at all three levels of IE Writing, are required to upload the final drafts of their
essays to the new “Database of Student Writing.”

In addition to submitting a paper version (hard copy) of their written work to their teacher,
students must also submit the work in the form of a Word doc (or .docx) at this site:
http://www.ap.agu4u.org/users/login (See Fig. 4).

Students should be told that they will not get credit for assignments UNLESS THEY SUBMIT
THE UPLOAD “RECEIPT” with their paper. The receipt (see Fig. 7) should be attached to the
front page of the essay or thesis.

They should login as follows:

Username : student
Password : tGpUU5Cv

After logging in, they will be taken to an upload page (See Fig. 5) where they will have to
browse for the file of their written work on their computer (See Fig. 6). They should also use
drop down menus to select the course that they are enrolled in, the current semester/ year,
their academic year （学年）, and their experience abroad (if any).

Finally, they should type in their teacher’s family name (IN ROMAN LETTERS; correctly
spelled!) and click on the “Upload file” button. At this time, only Microsoft Word .doc or .docx
files can be uploaded.

NOTE: When uploading the file, students should be instructed NOT to include their name,
TEACHERS= NOTES 46

student number, or any other identifying information in the filename or in the document itself.
This is to ensure that privacy laws pertaining to electronically stored data are not violated.

Fig. 4
TEACHERS= NOTES 47

Fig. 6
TEACHERS= NOTES 48

Fig. 7

After the student has selected the appropriate file on his/her computer and clicked the “Upload
file” button, the file will be uploaded within a few seconds. Upon successfully uploading the file,
a page will appear with the phrase “UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL.” On that same page, a unique
reference number will be provided along with the time and date of submission.

Students must print out the “UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL” screen (which includes their file’s
unique reference number--See Fig. 4) and present it to their teacher along with a hard copy of
that written work. Students must not be given credit for an assignment if they have not shown
evidence that they uploaded it to the “Database of Student Writing.” That evidence will be a
print out of the “UPLOAD SUCCESSFUL” screen.
TEACHERS= NOTES 49

How teachers will use the database/plagiarism detection system

The MS Word files of the students’ submitted written work can be accessed at:
http://www.ap.agu4u.org/users/login.
[See Figure 5.]

Fig. 4

Teachers should login as follows:

Username : admin
Password : [ ASK DIAS FOR IT ]

[Teachers wishing to access the electronic files of their students’ work should ask the IE
Program coordinators for the administration password.]
TEACHERS= NOTES 50

Fig. 5

Finally, when a teacher does detect clear and indisputable evidence of plagiarism in student
writing, (s)he is asked to report it to the IE Program coordinators at:

http://tinyurl.com/mum2goq
The plagiarism reporting page is a Google Form that looks like the next figure.
TEACHERS= NOTES 51