“All the world's a stage
And all the men and women merely
players.”
– William Shakespeare
“In a society where the roles
everyone plays are obvious, the
refusal to conform to any
standard will excite interest.”
– Robert Greene,
The Art of Seduction
Part 4.1: INTRODUCTION
Once a woman’s perception of you has begun to change, a
window of opportunity opens.
Here’s where a bit of strategy goes a long way. To redefine
your role as a romantic or sexual interest, you want inject
some flirty and emotional banter and behavior.
You also want to implant some “open loops” so that you
keep yourself on your girl’s mind. Remember: the more she
thinks about you, the more attached she’ll become.
It doesn’t matter if a woman’s curious, intrigued, jealous, or
even pissed off—if you get her emotional, she’s thinking
about you!
While it’s best to err on the side of positive emotions,
negative emotions aren’t the worst thing. As you hopefully
know by now, the worst thing is a woman who feels NO
EMOTIONS.
The exercises in Part 2.2 challenge you to look at your situation
from several vantage points to better understand how you’re
currently perceived. The exercises in Part 2.3 will reveal the “rule
book” that governs your interactions, and which keeps you from
making an attractive impression.
Part 4.2: DESIRE
All women have psychological drives and needs that you
can tap into.
Principle #1: Emotions are addictive (even the negative
ones)
Principle #2: Fear of loss trumps potential gains (why
“The Pull Away” is so effective)
Principle #3: Dissonance is the need to resolve
contradictory or conflicting beliefs
ASSESSMENT
Think back to the last girl you were obsessed with: where
was there dissonance? How was she sending mixed
signals? What secret desires did she unleash in you?
Check all that apply:
[ ] A Desire to WIN
[ ] A Desire to be PART OF SOMETHING
[ ] A Desire for VARIETY and SURPRISE
[ ] A Desire for VALIDATION
[ ] A Desire for WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE
[ ] A Desire for the FORBIDDEN FRUIT
[ ] A Desire for CERTAINTY and COMPLETION
[ ] A Desire for WHAT OTHER PEOPLE WANT
[ ] A Desire for CONNECTION
[ ] A Desire for FUN
[ ] A Desire to be with EXCELLENCE or AUTHORITY
[ ] A Desire for SEX
Phase 4: Dissonance
Reverse Engineering “Dissonance”:
Exercise:
The last girl you were obsessed with,
where was there dissonance? How was
she sending mixed signals? What
secret desires were unleashed in you?
Phase 4: Dissonance
Notes on Dissonance
o Emotion trump logic
o Emotionally and logically she wants
different things
o Love is primarily an emotions triggered
by the ID and the EGO
Phase 4: Dissonance
Notes on Dissonance
Principle #1: Emotions are addictive
(even the negative ones)
Principle #2: Fear of loss trumps
potential gains (why “The Pull Away” is
so effective)
Principle #3: Dissonance is the need
to resolve contradictory or conflicting
beliefs (why him)
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #1: The Desire to Win
o The necessity of competition and
obstacles
o The necessity of Jealousy Triangles
o The necessity of an audience
Exercise: Identify at least one way you
can create a jealousy triangle ie) could
be your passion she’s competing with
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #2: The Desire to Be a Part of
Something
o The “WE”
o The Partners in Crime Technique,
Inside Jokes, Secret Language
o Missions, Causes, and shared world
views
Exercise: Think of a girl, and how you
can invent a mission with her, or at the
very least, create some inside jokes
and secret language
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #3: The Desire for Variety &
Surprise:
o Create a variety of emotional
experiences
o Always have another layer to reveal
o Show her new things, take her
interesting places, get her outside her
element
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #4: The Desire for Validation:
o Important concept to remember is to
be more concerned with
giving/withholding validation to her,
then with seeking validation for
yourself
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #5: The Desire to Want What
You Can’t Have
o The gift of missing you
o The gift of anticipation
o The gift of disappointment
o The gift of scarcity
Exercise: Write down 2 ways you’ll
become something she can’t have
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #6: The Desire for the
Forbidden Fruit
o Create real or imaginary obstacles that
make you “forbidden”
o Play into her secret fantasies
o Hint at an alternate life (job)
o Have a “secret side” she wonders
about
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #7: The Desire for Certainty &
Completion
o The Zeigarnik Effect: People remember
incomplete or interrupted tasks better
than completed
o Create “Open Loops”
o Mental mysteries or puzzles for her to
solve
o Hot & Cold behav
Exercise: Create several ‘open loops’
ie) name text
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #8: The Desire for Things Other
People Want
o Have “admirers”
o Have a torrid past
o Don’t be afraid to ruin things by having
a “player” reputation
o Use social media to portray being
desired
Exercise: Improve your social profiles
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #9: The Desire for Connection
o Display Cool Vulnerability (not pity)
o Get her sharing future ambitions and
childhood memories with you (time
traveling)
o Use connection questions, be curious
to go deeper
Exercise: Develop 2 or 3 “Connection
Stories”
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #10: The Desire for Fun
o Fun is more important that funny
o Fun is the ultimate aphrodisiac &
Commodity
o Bring her back to the playground
Exercise: Create or write down several
‘games’ or way you can bring her to the
playground when you’re spending time
with her
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #11: The Desire to Be Around
Excellence or Authority
o Be excellent or an authority at
something
o Bring her into your world, have home
field advantage (George Michael)
o Let her see you in a position of
authority (a performance, a speech, an
awards ceremony)
Exercise: Identity one area you are an
authority or excellent at something
Phase 4: Dissonance
Desire #12: The Desire to Be Desired
and Fucked
o Hiding sexual desire is a one way ticket
to the friend zone
o She wants you to bring out her wild,
impulsive, sexual side
o Intimacy is the Oxygen that propels
things forward
Exercise: The “Sexy handshake” & “The
Toying Gaze”
BIG IDEAS I LEARNED IN THIS SECTION
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HOW I PLAN TO IMPLEMENT WHAT I LEARNED
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