Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB

Dealing with Difficult People

What is the motive of this part?

The Pareto principle states that 80 per cent of results are derived from 20 per cent of
input. This 80/20 rule can describe difficult clients: 80 per cent of the grief will come
from 20 per cent of these clients or colleagues. Knowing how to handle that 20 per cent
is imperative to a healthy working environment.
So, what are difficult people?
There are many types of difficult clients. Nine categories of difficult clients have been
identified:
Client who is angry or hostile.
Client who is out for vengeance or on a mission which has little to do with the
legal issues.
Over-involved or obsessive client.
Dependent client who is unable or unwilling to take responsibility for their life.
Secretive/Deceitful/Dishonest client.
Depressed client.
Mentally ill client, who can be unpredictable and change their instructions
regularly.
Difficult client who has a difficult case.
Client who is not willing or prepared to accept, believe, or follow legal advice.

So, what about you?

Are you avoiding conversations, you know you ought to have?
Are you wishing to be more assertive and in control?
Are you are losing patience with certain people or personality types?
Are you having problems giving negative feedback?
Are you feeling anxious before a difficult conversation?
Are you thinking of what you “should have” said after the conversation is over?
Are you wishing you had managed a conversation or an individual differently?
Are you having trouble managing emotional customers, colleagues or employees?
Are you feeling that you could improve your communication skills and become a
stronger communicator?

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If your answer is “YES” whether “PARTIALLY” or “COMPLETELY”. So, this part is
really for you?
In this part the following will be covered:
Deep analysis for difficult personalities
Real life industry scenarios and situation
Laws and regulations that regulate the working environment
The effective communication
Prologue
The names for each of the parts are selected as metaphor for the subject we are going to
present for example the first part is called genesis. Genesis is the first chapter of the old
testament of the holy book where it looks about the infant stage of life where from chaos
, god managed to make an order. That being said we see that although difficult
personalities make cause pain and disturb our normal life yet still a home to come up
with something authentic and have a meaning.
Genesis Deep analysis for difficult personalities
“If you want plenty of experience in dealing with difficult people, then have kids.”
Bo Bennett
Some people are genuinely difficult to deal with. They may have a need to be “right,”
and will have trouble hearing another person’s point of view. They may have a deep
sense of insecurity and micromanage other people due to their fear of losing control of a
situation. They may have psychological wounds that make it virtually impossible for
them to trust others. They may be impossible to please. They may engage in abusive
behavior to intimidate or to gain the upper hand in a relationship.
Difficult people present a particular challenge for lawyers. They seem to invite an
adversarial response intended to change their behavior or to “put them in their place.”
Yet dealing with difficult people in an adversarial way will usually make matters worse.
An adversarial response to a difficult person is likely to make the person more
entrenched in their behavior and may also cause a situation to escalate.
When dealing with a difficult person it is helpful to take a moment and ask yourself
whether the person seems to be reacting negatively to something you did or said. If so,
try to clear up any miscommunication that may have occurred and any misunderstanding
that might exist.

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 Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB
It is also important to accept the fact that you cannot change the other person. Nothing
will change if you have “a rocking chair mentality” toward the people who drive you
nuts You can only control your response to the person’s behavior.
Now, it is time to describe in detail the previous listed nine categories of clients:

the client who is angry or hostile. They were angry before they retained you and
likely will stay angry.
the client who is out for vengeance or on a mission which has little to do with the
legal issues. If you are unable to achieve their goal they will be unhappy and there
could be trouble.
the over-involved or obsessive client. This client may act like a pseudo-lawyer.
They may focus all their energy on the legal matter, to the exclusion of other parts
of their life. They will need a lot of attention and are obsessed with their case,
often presenting binders or boxes full of documents or materials on their case.
They will expect you to read all of it
the dependent client who is unable or unwilling to take responsibility for their life.
They may try and convince you to make decisions for them, or simply be
unwilling to make a decision.
the secretive/deceitful/dishonest client. This person may or may not understand
the importance of openness and honesty in the lawyer-client relationship.
the depressed client. People with depression may not be able to perform normal
tasks, such as returning your calls or giving you instructions.
the mentally ill client, who can be unpredictable and change their instructions
regularly. Just because a person has mental illness does not make them
incompetent to give you instructions, yet….
the difficult client who has a difficult case. This person may have unrealistic
the client who is not willing or prepared to accept, believe, or follow your advice.
Sapientia Real life industry scenarios and situation
“Experience is the teacher of all things.”
Julius Caesar

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 Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB
In this part we will listen the experience of others and how they reacted to it.
Vancouver medical malpractice defence counsel Jennifer Brun, who is also the
chairwoman of the CBA’s young lawyers division, shared a story about a phone
conversation with a client in which the client interrupted her to say, “You sound awfully
young.”

Her response? “Well, you sound awfully old but I’m not judging your ability to do your
job based on your age.” Said the client: “Continue.”
According to Vivian Rachlis, a partner at Winnipeg firm Thompson Dorfman Sweatman
LLP, knowing how to deal with difficult people is “a muscle memory” that gets
strengthened through experience.
Rachlis said ill feelings are also known to exists between lawyers representing opposite
parties but she reminded counsel they have a duty “to rise above” those feelings.
St. John’s consultant Kathy Hickman told lawyers at the Canadian Bar Association
conference, everyone could be better at dealing with difficult people at work.
“You need to start thinking about who you find difficult. I noticed that in my workplace,
the people that I found difficult . . . one of the things that I knew about them was that I
knew very little about them.”
Hickman added she was determined to “find goodness in them,” and started noticing
change in how she felt about the people she wasn’t a fan of.
Another way to deal with conflict is to expect it, she said. “If you know the triggers of
this difficult person, plan around it.”
To understand why conflicts, happen, Hickman asked lawyers to consider the cultural
and generational diversity of the people in their offices. Some cultures see silence as a
form of respect for another person, whereas others see it as a sign of disregard. And
what could be an honest question by a Gen Y employee may come off as confrontational
for baby boomers, she added.
Difficult people are often “the elephant in the room,” because oftentimes, everyone
avoids having to deal with them,” Hickman said, encouraging lawyers to “act with
courage and consideration.”
Maʽat Laws and regulations that regulate the working environment
“The clearest way to show what the rule of law means to us in everyday life is to recall
what has happened when there is no rule of law.”

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 Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB
Dwight D. Eisenhower
In this part we will cover the rules regarding the work environments that insure
safe working conditions. Some difficult personalities may cause certain violence
and harassment to the employees in the legal industry. So we will quote what the
provincial law define as violence , harassment and a famous case law.

1-Workplace violence

The OHSA defines workplace violence as the exercise of physical force by a person
against a worker, in a workplace, that causes or could cause physical injury to the
worker. It also includes an:

attempt to exercise physical force against a worker in a workplace, that could

cause physical injury to the worker, and a
statement or behaviour that a worker could reasonably interpret as a threat to
exercise physical force against the worker, in a workplace, that could cause
physical injury to the worker.

This may include:

verbally threatening to attack a worker;

leaving threatening notes at or sending threatening e-mails to a workplace;
shaking a fist in a worker's face;
wielding a weapon at work;
hitting or trying to hit a worker;
throwing an object at a worker;
sexual violence against a worker;
kicking an object the worker is standing on such as a ladder; or
trying to run down a worker using a vehicle or equipment such as a forklift.

The definition of workplace violence is broad enough to include acts that would
constitute offences under Canada's Criminal Code.

1.1 Workplace violence policy

Every employer in Ontario must prepare and review, at least annually, a policy on
workplace violence, as required by the OHSA [section 32.0.1 (1) (a) and (c)].
This policy is required regardless of the size of the workplace or the number of workers.
If six or more workers are regularly employed at a workplace, this policy must be in
writing and posted in a conspicuous place in the workplace.

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If fewer than six workers are regularly employed at the workplace, the policy does not
necessarily have to be written [sections 32.0.1 (2) and (3)]. However, a Ministry of
Labour, Training and Skills Development inspector may order the policy to be in writing
[section 55.1].
The workplace violence policy should:

show an employer's commitment to protecting workers from workplace violence;

address violence from all possible sources (customers, clients, employers,
supervisors, workers, strangers and domestic/intimate partners);
outline the roles and responsibilities of the workplace parties in supporting the
policy and program; and
be dated and signed by the highest level of management of the employer or at the
workplace as appropriate (examples may include, but are not limited to, the
President, Chief Executive Officer, senior human resources professional or
uppermost member of management at the workplace).

2.Workplace harassment

Workplace harassment can involve unwelcome words or actions that are known or
should be known to be offensive, embarrassing, humiliating or demeaning to a worker or
group of workers, in a workplace. It can also include behaviour that intimidates, isolates
or even discriminates against the targeted individual(s).

This may include:

making remarks, jokes or innuendos that demean, ridicule, intimidate, or offend;

displaying or circulating offensive pictures or materials in print or electronic
form;
bullying;
repeated offensive or intimidating phone calls or e-mails; or
workplace sexual harassment.

2.1Workplace harassment policy

Employers must prepare and review a policy on workplace harassment at least annually,
as required by the OHSA [section 32.0.1 (b) and (c)].

The policy is required regardless of the size of the workplace or the number of workers.

If six or more workers are regularly employed at the workplace, the policy must be in
writing and it must be posted in a conspicuous place in the workplace.

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If fewer than six workers are regularly employed in the workplace, the policy does not
necessarily have to be written [sections 32.0.1 (2) and (3)]. However, a Ministry of
Labour, Training and Skills Development inspector may order the policy to be in writing
[section 55.1].

The workplace harassment policy should:

show an employer's commitment to addressing workplace harassment;

consider workplace harassment from all sources such as customers, clients,
employers, supervisors, workers, strangers and domestic/intimate partners;
outline the roles and responsibilities of the workplace parties in supporting the
policy and program; and
be dated and signed by the highest level of management of the employer or at the
workplace as appropriate (examples may include, but are not limited to, the
President, Chief Executive Officer, senior human resources professional or
uppermost member of management at the workplace).

The workplace harassment policy should encourage workers to bring forward workplace
harassment concerns, whether their own, or information about workplace harassment
that they have witnessed.

In Baksh v. Sun Media Toronto Corp

The Toronto Sun published articles about Kadir Baksh’s run-in with the criminal justice
system. Baksh was a lawyer. He sued for defamation and represented himself. In the
course of the litigation, he made negative and derogatory remarks about defence counsel
accusing defendant’s counsel of sharp, high-handed practice and of trying to use
procedural delay tactics to avoid a decision on the merits. The court held that there was
no evidence to support any of these criticisms based on the following:
Rule 6.01(1) of the Rules of Professional Conduct provides that “a lawyer shall
conduct himself…in such a way as to maintain the integrity of the profession.”
Rule 6.03(1) provides that a lawyer shall be courteous and civil with all persons
with whom he has dealings in his practice. Of particular relevance is the
commentary under that rule which provides that “a lawyer should avoid ill-
considered or uninformed criticism of the … conduct of other lawyers.”
Rule 6.03(5) prohibits the communication to another lawyer or any person “that is
abusive, offensive, or otherwise inconsistent with the proper tone of a professional
communication from a lawyer.”
Decalogue The effective communication

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 Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB
“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the
quality of our lives.”
Tony Robbins
In this part we will be covering how to communicate in effective way and avoid
being trapped into disputes.
1.Practice “Active Listening”: People are less likely to argue with someone who they
feel is listening and trying to understand their perspective in a respectful manner, even if
there is still disagreement.
2. Be clear in your communications: At the core of many problems encountered with
difficult people is miscommunication and misunderstandings–including inflated
expectations of what is possible. The earlier you can set ground rules and realistic
expectations for all important matters the better, such as the usual responsiveness of
communications, costs and timeframes for completion of tasks.
3. Be proactive not reactive: When people are being difficult, your first reaction to
their obstructive behaviour is likely to be emotionally based–such as anger, frustration
and fear. Our emotions, although completely natural, can cause us to act in a way which
only serves to escalate the conflict, and we unwittingly exacerbate the problem because
we have become enmeshed and engaged in it. You can attempt to avoid this by
continually and explicitly re-focusing communications to identify and solve the
problem, while acknowledging and constructively addressing the potential 'road blocks'
to resolution that the difficult person is raising.
4.Use a Script: Words are hard, particularly when our emotions are elevated. We can
relieve some anxious feelings by choosing words in advance when we anticipate a
situation likely to involve difficult conversation. Even just a few key scripted phrases
can help significantly.
5.Change your Goal: Compelling arguments rarely change people’s minds, unless of
course that person was looking to learn a new perspective or was generally open to
adjusting their perspective on an issue. Strongly held beliefs are nearly impossible to
sway with well thought out arguments. Rather than expecting to change their mind in
one conversation, focus on the smaller goal of softening their perspective incrementally,
which over time might enable their mind to change.
6.Keep your Grounding: First, focus on your own breathing and compassion to stay
calm. Second, avoid speaking in terms of depersonalized principles of what is right and
wrong..” A much more effective approach is to talk about your personal experiences,
what is meaningful or important to you, and why it’s important to you. Third, recognize

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 Project 09 DEALING WITH THE COMPLICATIONS OF THE JOB
tactics others might use, like the common straw man fallacy, which is when a person
distorts your position into an extreme position and tries to get you to defend that extreme
(hence moving you from your original point).

7. Don’t take it personally: It is common for difficult people to come across in their
communications as undermining and critical. They may make veiled or direct threats
regarding what they might do. It is natural to feel as though their comments are directed
at you on a personal level, and it is hard not to react accordingly. But don’t feel special!
8.Stay Positive: It can be easy to make an argument about ideas into a personal
indictment about someone’s character. Even when your opponent holds an unpopular
perspective, don’t turn it into a team sport. When someone feels personally attacked,
they are much more likely to become more entrenched in their viewpoint, for self-
preservation purposes. Try to imagine that you are talking to a future ally, who just has
yet to transform into that person.
9. Look after your own health and wellbeing: None of us are at our best if we are tired
and hungry (as anyone knows if they have recently dealt with a toddler!), or attempting
to deal with unresolved personal issues on our own. If you neglect your physical and
mental health, this will ultimately impact detrimentally on your ability to function at
work, including your ability to deal appropriately and constructively with difficult
people.
10.Keep the Connection, When Possible: End the conversation unresolved if need be
and if possible make sure the other person knows that you still care about and respect
them, despite any disagreements you both hold. Again, most difficult conversations take
time to work through and will require multiple iterations to achieve results. If you
maintain the relationship, you will have more opportunities to continue the discussion.
References
1. https://www.clarke.edu/campus-life/health-wellness/counseling/articles-advice/
tips-for-managing-conflict/
2. https://www.shondaland.com/live/family/a32783628/constructive-ways-to-deal-
with-conflict/
3. https://www.lso.ca/home
4. https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/90o01
5. https://espace.caij.qc.ca/

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