PSYCHOLOGY FOR PERSONAL OUTREACH
(Sermon)
February 4, 2025
Pr. Arturo Betancourt Loera
Adventist Volunteer Service Secretary
for the Brazilian Northeast Union
South American Division
Please note:
Unless otherwise noted, all scriptures quoted are from the New King James Version.
This sermon can be divided into two parts to expand more on each topic.
Purpose:
Explain how we can be intentional with -family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors-
in compassionate friendships that lead them to a personal relationship with Christ. To
awaken each individual to the need for personal outreach with the people they already
know by giving them tools that can help them better understand others to truly help
them.
Introduction:
How do we practice personal outreach? How do we lead others to Jesus? How do we
establish a relationship with those around us to the point in which they listen seriously
when we talk about spiritual matters? We can summarize the answers to these
important questions in one word. Compassion!
In his book, The Psychology of Witnessing, Jared Deville presents three steps of
progression that we can take to bring those around us (at work, school, our
neighborhood, etc.) to listen seriously when we lead them into spiritual
conversations:
1) Relating in love and compassion.
2) Recognizing how they see their needs.
3) Recommending a solution that makes sense.
The first step is one that God will help us with. True love and compassion are part of
the fruits of the Spirit that God wants to develop in us. Personal evangelism can only
be successful under the leadership of the Holy Spirit. There is much to be said about
how to grow in love for others, but today, I will limit myself to one quote from Jesus:
“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you” (John
15:12). Write down 1 John 3:16 and 4:7-12 to study later today by yourself.
In this sermon, we will focus on the second and third steps to grow a relationship with
others so that they will listen seriously when we talk about spiritual matters. If you
analyze these two last steps, you will agree that understanding others is a key point for
both of them.
The second and third steps can only be practiced if we truly understand those to
whom we relate. It is not enough to understand their needs; we must understand how
they understand their needs. It is not enough to present to them the solutions because
the way we present the solutions needs to make sense to their way of thinking. Each
person’s crises are different, and each person’s mind is unique. We all have our own
way of understanding everything; however, there are specific elements that everyone
will relate to, according to their age group.
Understanding the development of the human mind must be every Christian’s interest.
Among the psychologists who have spent a lifetime studying human thinking, Erick
Erickson is considered one of the most eminent psychologists of the 20th century. He
is best known for coining the phrase “identity crisis.” Today, we will consider Erick
Erickson’s theory on each crisis that humans go through according to each person’s
age group to see which Bible verses best fit their time in life. Today, you will
understand better how to help those around you.
Get ready to write down each age group, the identity crisis they are going through,
people who they are more impacted by, values that they appreciate, and the Bible
verses that best target their specific needs.
Infant (0-1 year old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Hope
As infants, we depend on our caretakers for practically every aspect of life. Babies
live in the hope of receiving what they need, like food, clothing, a comfortable
environment, etc. Life begins with the great lesson of hope. Hope that we will
receive what we need when we need it.
2. People they are more impacted by: Mother
During our first year of life, our mothers fulfill the hope we have for that which we
need; therefore, the way they care for us at this early age feeds our sense of
hopefulness or hopelessness.
3. Identity crisis: Trust versus mistrust
We don’t remember what happened during our first year of life; however, many of
us can carry deep traumas caused by the way our mothers cared for us or not when
we most depended on them.
God’s Word for them:
Isaiah 49:15: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on
the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you.”
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Toddler (1-3 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Will
The following years are when we begin to acquire independence for many basic
aspects of life. We can now feed ourselves, move to where we want to go, and even
try to reject that which we don’t want. It is at this stage that we come to understand
“will” or “desires.” Caretakers must be careful during these years, for we try to fulfill
all new desires that we experience without understanding possible dangers.
2. People they are more impacted by: Parents
Dads and moms play an important role in our development as toddlers by providing
a life in which they experiment with satisfied or unsatisfied desires. The way our
parents helped us deal with our will during these ages can mark our lives forever.
3. Identity crisis: Autonomy versus shame and doubt
As parents help us safely fulfill our will without their help, we can become more
autonomist. However, suppose we suffer condemnation in trying to fulfill our
desires. In that case, we become more dependent on others, for we are ashamed to
pursue our will on our own or may need continuous approval to free us from the
doubts that appear when we encounter desires.
God’s Word for them:
1 Corinthians 6:12: “'I have the right to do anything,' you say—but not everything is
beneficial. 'I have the right to do anything'—but I will not be mastered by anything.”
(NIV)
Preschooler (3 to 6 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Purpose
During our preschool years, our mind begins to develop, and now we can understand
purpose. The purpose of our body, the purpose of our voice, the purpose of certain
objects, etc. At the same time, our imagination is flourishing, and by combining our
understanding of purpose and vivid imagination, we begin to have creative initiatives
to help us understand our purpose. For example, in understanding that our different
body parts were created to move in different directions, we may imagine new moves
and have the initiative to do high kicks, twirl parts of our body, etc. It is common for
children during this age to call the attention of others to show off the body moves they
have “invented.” Unfortunately, many are not ready for these kinds of inventions,
which may appear foolish with no sense of being, and even go to the extent of
condemning those kinds of initiatives—especially when they go wrong and some kind
of harm is experienced.
2. People they are more impacted by: Family
Family members must be careful when dealing with us when we are preschoolers.
The way they react to our initiatives or condemn our sincere goodwill to invent good
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things can sometimes make us feel guilty of trying to do something that in our minds
is positive.
3. Identity crisis: Initiative versus guilt
Depending on how our extended family reacts to our initiatives, we can develop a
sense of guilt for trying to decide whether or not to try and prevent this feeling. It is
important as family members that we all are to keep encouraging initiatives for they
will contribute to healthy men and women who are not afraid to try new ways. We
must keep on trying, even if it didn’t go well on our first try.
God’s Word for them
Proverbs 24:16: “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,” Keep on
trying… let me help you…
Elementary School age (6 to 12 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Competence
At this stage of life, we understand the importance of knowing how to do things. We
admire those who are talented and wish to do great things that we see others doing.
2. People they are more impacted by: Neighbors, school
Our significant relationships extend to those of our schoolmates and friends outside
our family circle, including our church community. We must be careful as to how we
deal with those going through this stage, because they may be developing abilities
that are not yet mastered and can be easily discouraged when failing to perform at a
high standard.
3. Identity crisis: Competence versus inferiority
Many of us, who’s flaws have been exposed, in a negative way, may feel inferior and
quit trying to develop abilities that we end up believing impossible to acquire. At this
age, we believe we are that which we can learn how to do well. If we deal with
someone this age, we must encourage them to keep on trying because greatness comes
with practice. Churches must involve their children during these crucial ages in
activities where they will develop God’s Gifts to fulfill Jesus’s great commission.
God’s Word for them
Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
Adolescence (11 to 20 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Integrity
Adolescents now have brains capable of reading between the lines. As youngsters,
we understand who lives what they preach. At this age, we appreciate, seek, and
truly admire integrity. As idealists that we are in our youth years, we seek to find
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integrity in those we deal with and when we see flaws in them, we are greatly
disappointed. Parents till this point were our heroes, but now we begin to see their
imperfections. At the same time, auto-awareness is intensified, and as we desire to
see integrity in others, we also seek it in ourselves.
2. People they are more impacted by: Peers and role models
Peers have a great impact on what we believe about ourselves and everything else.
Close friends that we choose will have a great impact on our future lives, as we
absorb their way of thinking. We should be intentional in using our influence upon
other adolescents when we live this stage of life together. As adolescents, we are
constantly looking for role models, people who we can truly admire for their
integrity in one or many aspects of their lives. The best role models that we can find
are those who are distant enough for us to see what is admirable and appealing to our
idealistic ideas.
3. Identity crisis: Identity versus identity confusion
Adolescents can be pressured by their peers or influenced by their role models to be
someone that they are not, truly believing to be just that. Just as we seek integrity in
others, and have great disappointments during this stage of life, we may experience a
great identity crisis as we note that our integrity is incomplete. We may question our
Christianity, for example, for not being as perfect as we sometimes think Christians
should be. At the same time, we may question many other identity aspects of
ourselves because we are not perfectly in tune with the ideals of that identity. This
can be intensified through the influence of peer pressure and role models that point
us one way or another. It is important to remember that no one is perfect, but in
Christ, we can continue to grow in our Christianity until He comes back.
God’s Word for them
2 Timothy 2:13: “If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he
is.” True integrity will only be found in Jesus.
Young Adults (20 to 40 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Love
At this age, we come to understand, appreciate, speak, and value love. It becomes
evident in our minds when love is true love expressed by others and whether we
truly love or not.
2. People they are more impacted by: Friends, Parents
Our friends and parents influence us through our interactions. Love becomes a topic
that we see in them and through them. We question ourselves about what love is and
who we love. Can I truly love? is the big question we ask ourselves deeply. And our
interactions with these two groups of people will play a big role in what we believe
about ourselves regarding love.
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3. Identity crisis: Intimacy versus isolation
Many times during these years we may move to new places where it can become
difficult to grow in intimacy because we seek to feel loved the way we never before
thought possible. At the same time, we question whether we are willing to love those
who we deal with. The conclusions to these important issues about loving and being
loved cause us to either grow in intimacy with others or isolate ourselves. It is
crucial for this age group to feel loved independently of who we are and to have the
opportunity to grow in love with others as he or she chooses to love. Reciprocal love
is key for a healthy overcoming the identity crisis of this age group.
God’s Word for them
1 Corinthians 13:4-7: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not
rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (ESV)
Middle Age (40 to 60 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Care
After turning 40, we began to value the importance of being cared for. We
understand how caring (taking care of) pays off after a while of having cared for
someone or something. We now note how we took good care of our health, our
family, our money, our reputation, etc. It is now that we also wish we would have
taken better care of certain aspects of our lives or people.
2. People they are more impacted by: Household, Workmates
Our housemates and workmates help us see the importance of caring for others as we
see them being cared for or not. We began to see the consequences in others through
our care. As household members and workmates, we should be careful how we point
out the lack of care that someone has had for this may be of greater value to them
than we can imagine. Our words and attitudes towards this subject may lead others
to give up and stop caring for people and/or aspects of life altogether.
3. Identity crisis: Generativity/productivity versus stagnation
We all need to create and nurture things that will outlast us. It becomes evident
whether we have invested our time or other resources to care for that we can now be
proud of. At the same time, we wish to feel useful. It is after our 40s that many of
our abilities begin to degrade, and we are tempted to stagnate thinking that it is not
worth it to continue to care for something that we didn’t take good care of before.
Success in caring for others throughout our lives leads to feelings of usefulness and
accomplishment, while failure results in shallow involvement in the world. Many
may say that this is when we are tempted to feel tired of
trying . . .
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God’s Word for them
Isaiah 40:3: “But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall
mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk
and not faint.”
Older Adult (over 60 years old)
1. Virtue appreciated: Wisdom
During this stage of life, we appreciate at last wisdom.
2. People they are more impacted by: Mankind, My kind
As older adults, we are influenced by “mankind,” meaning that which is common
sense among humans as to what is truly valuable. Man’s opinion on integrity has
been formed throughout a lifetime, and that which we think mankind believes to be
true, honorable, worthwhile, etc. is that which we consider at this age when
evaluating ourselves.
3. Identity crisis: Integrity versus despair
As we look back on life and feel a sense of fulfillment in success, we may feel wise,
while failure results in regret, bitterness, and despair. Was our life worthwhile
living? Did I live a life worth living? Were my choices wise? Those are questions we
may ask ourselves at this age. Our integrity in our lives could build a life strong
enough to withstand physical disintegration, unfortunately, we are all sinners and
may come to depression when remembering any bad choices we made in our lives.
God’s Word for them
Titus 2:13: “… we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great
God and Savior, Jesus Christ,"
Conclusion:
Each age group is going through a personal crisis. We must be compassionate to
their needs and help them overcome each stage of life with hope and understanding
of God’s will, which is to guide, save, and use each of us at all times.
Call to action:
Remember these age groups, crises, and details that we all go through to help you
better recognize how others see their needs and recommend solutions that make
sense to them.
This will enable you to establish stronger relationships with those around you, to the
point in which they listen seriously when you talk to them about spiritual matters.
