Stress

Stress is that feeling we get when something demands more from us than we're used to, like a lot of
assignments piling up or preparing for exams. It’s both mental and physical. For example, imagine you
have five assignments due in the same week. You might start feeling anxious or overwhelmed. You
might find yourself pacing around, eating too much because you’re nervous, or even crying because it
feels like too much. Others might turn to smoking or drinking to cope.

Example: You have a major project due tomorrow, and instead of working on it, you get so stressed that
you keep scrolling on social media. The stress is making it hard for you to focus, right?

Eustress (Pleasant Stress)

Not all stress is bad. Eustress is a type of stress that motivates you to perform better. It might feel
uncomfortable, but it's the kind of stress that pushes you to reach your goals. For example, you might
feel some stress before a big exam, but this is actually good stress—it helps you focus and study harder.
It’s like the stress you feel when you’re getting ready for a big sports competition or performing in a
school play.

Example: Before an important exam, you feel nervous, but that nervous energy actually pushes you to
study more. This is eustress, a good type of stress that helps you succeed.

Distress (Negative Stress)

On the other hand, distress is the kind of stress that makes you feel helpless and overwhelmed. It’s the
stress that can hurt your body and mind. If the stress lasts too long, it can even make you physically sick.
For example, if you have a deadline that you can’t meet or you’re dealing with too many personal
problems at once, you might feel completely drained and stressed out.

Example: Imagine you have multiple exams, projects, and personal issues all happening at once. You feel
so overwhelmed that it’s hard to sleep or eat properly. You might even get sick from the pressure. This is
distress, and it’s unhealthy when it becomes too much.

Neustress (Neutral Stress)

Neustress is a type of stress that doesn’t directly affect you, but still causes some emotional reaction.
It’s like hearing about something upsetting but not being personally involved. For instance, you might
hear on the news about a natural disaster or a crime, and while you feel sad or anxious, it doesn’t
directly impact your life. The emotional reaction is real, but the stress is milder than if you were
personally involved.

Example: Let’s say you hear about a car accident involving someone you don’t know. You might feel
worried or sad, but since you're not involved, the stress is less intense. This is neustress, where you feel
something but it doesn't directly affect you.

Coping

Now that we understand the types of stress, let’s talk about coping. Coping is how we deal with stress.
It’s the strategies we use to handle difficult situations. When you feel stressed, it’s important to manage
it so it doesn’t overwhelm you. Coping helps you keep going with your day-to-day activities, even when
things are tough.

Example: Let’s say you're feeling stressed about an upcoming exam. Coping is the way you manage that
stress—whether it’s studying, taking breaks, talking to friends, or even doing something relaxing.

Problem-Focused Coping

One type of coping is called Problem-Focused Coping, which is when you deal with the source of the
stress directly. You solve the problem to make the stress go away. This is often the most effective way
to deal with stress because it tackles the issue head-on.

Example: Let’s say you have a huge project due soon, and you’re feeling stressed. With problem-
focused coping, you might break the project into smaller tasks, make a schedule, and ask for help from a
classmate. This way, you're taking action to manage the stress and reduce it.

Emotion-Focused Coping

Sometimes, the stressor isn’t something you can change, like a family issue or something beyond your
control. That’s when you use Emotion-Focused Coping. This strategy is about managing your emotions
and decreasing your emotional reactions to stress.

Example: If you’re dealing with a difficult family situation that’s causing stress, you might not be able to
fix the problem right away. But you can cope emotionally by talking to a friend, doing some relaxation
exercises, or even praying or meditating to calm yourself.

Cognitive Coping

Cognitive Coping is about how you think through the stressful situation. It’s about changing your
thoughts to help manage the stress better. It involves rethinking the situation to make it feel less
overwhelming or stressful.

Example: If you’re stressing about a big presentation, you might tell yourself, “I’ve prepared well, and I
can do this.” By changing your thoughts, you reduce anxiety and manage stress better. This is cognitive
coping—using your mind to control your stress.

Social Stress

Finally, social stress happens when your stress is caused by relationships or social situations. This can
happen when you feel pressure from friends, family, or classmates. Social stress can be harder to deal
with if you feel like you can’t change the situation or that you have no control over it.

Example: Let’s say you’re dealing with peer pressure in school. Your friends want you to do something
you don’t feel comfortable with, and it’s causing you stress. This is social stress—it’s the stress caused
by your social environment and relationships. It becomes worse when you feel trapped or unable to
change the situation.

1. Reframing
Reframing is all about changing the way you view something. Instead of seeing a situation as
purely negative, you look at it from a different perspective and try to find something positive in
it. It’s like flipping a negative situation into something more manageable.

Example: Let’s say you failed an exam, and you think, "I’m terrible at this subject." Instead, you
could reframe it: "This is an opportunity to learn from my mistakes and do better next time."
Reframing helps you see challenges as opportunities for growth.

2. Challenging Negative Thinking

This involves questioning the negative thoughts that pop into your head. You ask yourself, “Is
this thought really true?” Sometimes, we jump to conclusions without all the facts.

Example: If you’re thinking, "I’ll never pass this class," challenge that thought. Ask yourself:
“Have I passed tests before? Do I have time to study?” When you question negative thoughts,
you often realize that they’re not entirely accurate.

3. Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk means talking to yourself in a supportive, encouraging way, just like you
would to a friend. It’s like using affirmations to boost your confidence and motivation.

Example: Before a presentation, instead of thinking, "I’m going to mess up," try saying to
yourself, “I’ve prepared for this, I can handle it, and I will do my best.” Positive self-talk helps
calm your nerves and boosts your self-esteem.

4. Count to Ten

When you’re feeling overwhelmed or emotionally charged, counting to ten can give you a
moment to calm down and think more clearly. It’s like a little mental reset.

Example: If you’re in a heated argument with a classmate or feeling frustrated with a project,
take a deep breath and count to ten slowly. This simple act helps you take control of your
emotions and prevent reacting impulsively.

5. Cost-Benefit Analysis

A cost-benefit analysis is when you think about whether a thought, emotion, or action is worth
the effort or energy it’s taking. You weigh the pros and cons of your response.

Example: Let’s say you’re really stressed about a small problem, like forgetting to do a minor
assignment. Ask yourself, “Is it worth getting upset about this? Will worrying change anything,
or is it better to just move on and focus on what I can control?” This helps you stop overthinking
and focus on what really matters.

6. Smell the Roses

This is a fun way to tell yourself to relax and take a break. Sometimes, we get so caught up in
our stress that we forget to take a moment for ourselves. "Smelling the roses" is like pausing to
breathe and enjoy the moment.

Example: If you’re feeling stressed about your schoolwork, step away from your desk for a few
minutes. Take a walk outside, breathe in fresh air, or just relax for a bit. It’s important to give
your brain a break so you can come back to your tasks feeling more refreshed.

7. Keeping Perspective

Keeping perspective means looking at a problem in the context of everything else going on in
your life. It’s about breaking a problem into smaller, more manageable parts and understanding
that not everything needs to be tackled all at once.

Example: If you have a huge project due and you’re stressed, break it down. Focus on one small
task at a time instead of thinking about the entire project all at once. This makes the problem feel
less overwhelming and more manageable.

8. Reducing Uncertainty

When you feel unsure or anxious, reducing uncertainty means gathering information about
your situation to make it less scary. It’s like preparing yourself with facts and knowledge so you
can handle the problem better.

Example: Let’s say you’re anxious about an upcoming exam. Instead of worrying about how
difficult it will be, gather study materials, ask your teacher for clarification, or study with a
friend. The more you know, the less anxious you’ll feel.

9. Using Imagery/Visualization

Imagery or visualization is a technique where you imagine yourself in a calm, relaxing place or
picture yourself succeeding at a task. It’s like using your imagination to relax your mind.

Example: If you’re nervous before a big presentation, close your eyes for a few minutes and
visualize yourself speaking confidently in front of the class. Picture the audience reacting
positively and you feeling proud of your performance. This mental image can help calm your
nerves and make you feel more prepared.

Putting it All Together

So, students, these cognitive coping strategies are tools you can use to manage stress by
changing how you think and respond. If you practice these techniques, you’ll find that you can
handle stress more effectively and feel more in control of your emotions.
Example: Let’s say you’re feeling stressed because you have several projects and exams coming
up. You can use cognitive coping strategies like:

 Reframing your stress as a challenge rather than a problem.

 Challenging negative thoughts like, “I’ll never finish everything,” by asking, “What
steps can I take to get it done?”
 Using positive self-talk, like telling yourself, “I can manage this. I’ve done it before.”
 Taking a break and smelling the roses to clear your mind.