PASSION AND PURITY II
Charles J. Bulus
For the confident,
For the crawling, and
For the crushed.
WARMING UP
The Egg-Protection Device
The Federal Government of Nigeria needs a brand new egg-protection device.
Funding is low, so the only materials available are these egg protection tubes
(straw) and stickage line (tape).The device must pass the rigorous test of this
egg being dropped from the egg-protection device challenger (a ladder or high
point). Your team has been nominated to develop an egg-protection device for
the nation. You have 5 minutes to develop your prototype, prior to testing.
Some of you treat ladies with as much compassion and care as you did these
eggs. Some of you do it knowingly, but others do it without even knowing. But
God created each of us with emotions that are fragile and hearts that need to
be protected. What we do with each other emotionally, physically and mentally
may leave us either cracked or whole. Unfortunately, the effects may
sometimes last a lifetime.
2 Corinthians 4:7 says, “7But we have these treasure in jars of clay to show
that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” Although Paul was
referring to the power of the gospel in spite of human weakness, the fact that
he compares the people to jars of clay reveals the fragile nature of humans.
John 8:43-44
43
Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say.
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You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s
desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for
there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speak his native language, for he is a
liar and the father of lies.
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Satan’s Lies Versus God’s Truth
1. Before the Fall: “You can handle this, you can pull out if it gets
dangerous... just DO it” (Gen 3:1-6)
a. In what ways have you been made to feel inferior for choosing to not
compromise?
b. What are some common statements you have heard, which seek to
tempt you? Some popular lies before a person falls are:
Everyone is doing it (#Sex is trending).
Sex sustains relationships and proves your love.
Everything apart from actual intercourse is cool
Safe sex is safe.
Truth is, Satan is not someone we should argue or negotiate with.
The Bible calls us to resist the devil, not reason with the devil.
2. After the Fall: “You have failed, now you’re finished... just HIDE it!”
(Gen 3:7-8)
a. What is the first thing you think of when you have done something
wrong?
b. What are some things that prevent you from opening up when you sin?
FEAR. Some popular lies after a person falls:
Nobody should hear about it.
I’m all alone, no one will understand.
If I confess, it’s over for me.
It will go away when I’m married.
Truth is, there is no escaping from the consequences of sin; but God
still wants a relationship with his child... That’s why it is more
liberating to speak up than to keep shut. #SoroSoke!
We don’t fall into sin, we slide into it. We
make one compromise after another,
until we find ourselves in deep, deep sin.
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FINDING FREEDOM: FOR THOSE WHO DID NOT WAIT (PHIL 4:8)
Know Your 3 Enemies
1. Sinful nature (the flesh). This does not refer to your body, but to evil
desires and sinful cravings. Romans 8:5-8 describes the flesh and its
evil desires, Galatians 5:19-21 lists the acts of the flesh, and
Ephesians 5:2-7 gives a stern warning about the consequences of
indulging in acts of the flesh. Unfortunately young people seem to
enjoy most of the things on the list. Also, most people fail to deal with
the hurts and situations of the past that have held them captive, so
they continue to fall back into the same old sins.
2. Satan. According to John 10:10a, “the thief comes only to steal, kill
and destroy...” While 1 Peter 5:8 describes Satan as someone who
goes around like a roaring lion looking for whom to devour.
3. System of the World. Understand the threefold meaning of “world” as:
material earth made by God, humankind who inhabit the earth, and
sinful man living in rebellion from God (1 John 2:15). These ones do
not adopt the way of thinking and acting that rejects the lordship of
Christ over any area of our lives (Romans 1:18-20).
Know Your 3 Friends
1. The Holy Spirit to guide and teach you. We often live without the power
of the Holy Spirit, so we struggle. We must learn to surrender all to
the leadership of God’s Spirit. It is a person that sets you free, not a
set of rules and regulations.
2. The Bible to equip you. Learn to read scripture thoroughly, interpret it
correctly and apply it continually. All scripture is God-breathed, and it
is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in
righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work (2 Tim 3:16).
3. Fellowship of believers and accountability to encourage and motivate
you (Heb. 10:24-25). While God is the one who gives us freedom, He
does not free people in isolation. Accountability is not for struggling
Christians, it’s for every Christian.
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Why do Christians struggle to break away from sinful lifestyles?
1. We often live without the Spirit’s power. Methods don’t work. It is a
person who sets you free, not a set of rules.
2. We seek freedom for ourselves, not for God’s glory. Not about
reputation. Not about other people’s feelings. Not about personal
holiness. But about the glory of God.
3. We don’t deal with the Self-Propagating Nature of Sin. We fail to deal
with sin from its root, so we are bound to keep repeating it.
Take Swift Action
1. Radical Amputation (Matt 5:29-30)
Is any relationship leading you to sin? Learn to walk away from it...
a. Tell God.
b. Tell a friend.
c. Make a fast, strategic exit.
2. Learn these 8 Secrets
a. Purity is a process: we were not born pure, but we can become
pure. It starts with a commitment to be pure.
b. Purity dreams of its future: Create a picture of what you want your
future to look like. Write it down, and pursue it. if you aim at
nothing, you’ll hit it all the time.
c. Purity is governed by value; discover it: You are precious, not
because anyone said so, but because God made you so (Psalm
139:13-16). You are worth more than just secret meetings, quick
kisses and random sexual escapades.
d. Purity is governed by value; demonstrate it
Watch your thoughts for they become words; watch your
words for they become actions; watch your actions for they
become habits; watch your habits for they become character;
watch your character for it becomes your destiny (Lao Tze)
Watch your wardrobe; there is a problem if the most attractive
thing about you is your body (1 Tim 2:9-10, Col 3:12-14)
Watch your where you go to
Watch your life and conduct (1 Tim 4:16)
e. Purity loves its Creator at all costs. Every time you face a situation
that wants to make you compromise, ask “How much do I love
Jesus, and how much do I value his sacrifice for me?”
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f. Purity speaks boldly. Learn to openly express your commitments
to purity, and fears about the consequences of breaking it and
offending God.
g. Purity embraces wise counsel. Listen to good advise. Replace
ungodly influences with godly ones (Matt 12:43-45).
h. Purity watches burning flames (Song of Songs 8:4).
Everything costs something, but some
things cost everything. Watch out!
LOOKING AHEAD
The Way of Purity - A New Attitude (TITUS 2:11-12)
1. Respect the deep significance of physical intimacy (Heb 13:4)
Many people view sex as the greatest expression of intimacy, but
consider other expressions such as hugging, kissing, or fondling
each other as no big deal. Truth is, physical intimacy is much more
than two bodies colliding…
Hebrews 13:4 reminds us of the sacredness of marriage. It is this
respect for marriage that should push us to protect it from violation
even while we’re single.
Recognize the deep significance of sexual intimacy – at any level –
and refuse to steal its privileges before marriage. As long as you’re
not married to someone, you have no claim on the person’s body.
2. Set your standards too high (2 Tim 2:22)
The problem with people is not that they set their standards too
high and miss it; it is that they set it too low and hit it. Billy Graham
decided never to be alone with any woman that was not his wife;
this was because of the accusation that many men of God were
having relations with other women.
Joshua Harris said, “We can only attain righteousness when we
destroy sin in its embryonic state [cut off the opportunity to sin
from its root] and when we flee temptation [flee from even the
possibility of compromise]” (2003:94).
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Never, ever, say, “I can handle it”. You can’t. Sexual sin is the only
sin that we are urged to flee. We set our standards too high, not to
prove how holy we are; we do it because we recognize how weak
and vulnerable we can be.
Don’t stick around to see how much temptation you can take
without falling; you don’t have any point to prove to God or the
devil (God is not impressed by your ability to stand up to sin; he is
pleased by the obedience you show when you flee).
3. Make the purity of others your priority (Gen 39:6b-10)
Joseph made the purity of potipher’s wife a priority; unfortunately,
she didn’t do likewise. Imagine what our world will look like if both
sexes will commit to watch out for each other… What are some
specific ways we can do this?
Ladies
a. “Keep the guys from being led astray by your charms”
(2003:99)
b. Recognize their weaknesses, but only to protect them.
c. While the guys are responsible for maintaining self-control,
do your best to prevent a situation where their attention is on
your body.
d. Don’t give husband privileges to your boyfriends.
Gentlemen
a. “Stop acting like [thieves and] hunters trying to catch girls;
try acting like warriors standing guard over them” (Harris,
2003:98).
b. Recognize their weaknesses, but only to protect them. Since
we know that they are moved by words, let’s stop the aimless
flirting and only give sincere compliments. Stop raising their
hopes if you don’t mean to take things further.
c. You are responsible for maintaining self-control, don’t accuse
a lady for tempting you.
d. Stop giving wife privileges to your girlfriends.
The Way of Purity - A New Action
Guard your heart
Protect yourself from your heart’s sinfulness... know that it can do you
damage if it is not properly watched (Phil 4:8).
Remove the pollutants from your heart (Job 31:1)
Guard against desires of the flesh, desires of the eyes, pride of life (1
John 2:15-16).
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What are those things in your life that heighten your lust, evil desires
and pride?
Redeem the time
Hustle while you wait. Develop yourself and show faithfulness in
“little” things)
Water the Camels. Learn to serve others like Rebekah did.
Practice intimacy, seeking God’s will, financial responsibility, practical
life skills, etc
What are some things you want to do to develop yourself?
Know that Marriage is not the Finish line
We do not seek to develop Christlike qualities because of marriage.
Whether you marry or not, as long as you strive to develop love,
humility, patience, forgiveness, etc, you are on the right track.
We live to give God glory, let out lives show this.
Purity is more than just waiting to have
sex in marriage. It is about choosing a
lifestyle that loves and honors God
above all else. Sexual abstinence is a
byproduct of this lifestyle.
WRAPPING UP
Write a Love Story you’ll be Proud to Tell
1. Write a letter to God, confessing the areas of your life that you have
failed him, and telling him what you need him to help you deal with,
so that you can pursue a life of purity.
2. Write a letter to your father/mother saying “thank you” for their
effort to help you pursue purity. Share with them what you wish
they would do to help you. And let them know that you have made
a commitment to God to be pure, and that they can hold you
accountable.
