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Two Families Now Module 3 Developmental Spotlight

The document provides guidance on effective parenting during separation and divorce, emphasizing the importance of listening to children at different developmental stages. It outlines strategies for communicating with infants, toddlers, preschoolers, grade schoolers, and adolescents, highlighting the need for parents to be emotionally available and responsive. By fostering open communication, parents can support their children through the challenges of family changes.

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6 views1 page

Two Families Now Module 3 Developmental Spotlight

The document provides guidance on effective parenting during separation and divorce, emphasizing the importance of listening to children at different developmental stages. It outlines strategies for communicating with infants, toddlers, preschoolers, grade schoolers, and adolescents, highlighting the need for parents to be emotionally available and responsive. By fostering open communication, parents can support their children through the challenges of family changes.

Uploaded by

levitana
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Two Families Now

EFFECTIVE PARENTING DURING SEPARATION AND DIVORCE

Module 3 DEVELOPMENTAL
DEVELOPMENTALSPOTLIGHT
SPOTLIGHT
Effective Listening
Your child needs to know that you are there to support and guide him or her during this uncertain time. One
of the most effective ways to show support is to listen. This is difficult for many parents because of their own
strong feelings, so do your best to lend an ear when you feel emotionally available to your child. Avoid common
blocks to effective communication such as: warning/threatening, moralizing/preaching, lecturing/arguing, judging
negatively/blaming, reassuring/rescuing or using sarcasm in response to children’s efforts to connect with you.

Infants: Babies might not be talking during the early months, but they do react to your sadness, tension,
happiness and satisfaction. Babies’ main form of communication is crying. When parents respond
consistently to their cries, babies learn two important things: that they can effectively communicate their
needs and that their needs will be met. Talk to your baby as you go about your daily activities and respond to
your baby by speaking in a comforting, soothing tone.

Toddlers: Children in this age range can get frustrated because of difficulty expressing their wants and needs.
You can help by listening to what they are trying to convey. To listen effectively with toddlers, stop what you
are doing, get down to their level, and give them your full attention. By doing this you send the message that
you are present and ready to hear what they are trying to say. Respond to toddlers’ communication attempts
by putting their thoughts or intentions into words, for example “OH! You want the ball.”

Preschool: Your preschooler will benefit from routines during this time of transition. Make a routine of simply
listening to and talking with your preschooler. Preschool-age children like to hear stories over and over again
because it makes them feel safe and secure. Create opportunities for your preschooler to express their BIG
feelings. A good time for this is when you are tucking your child in for bed or taking a walk together. Make
sure that your nonverbal cues show that you are listening: have a relaxed posture, nod your head, make eye
contact, and be aware of your facial expression. Use encouraging words to show you are listening, such as
“Mmm, hmm,” “I see,” “Uh huh,” and “Tell me more.”

Grade school: Grade school-age children begin to view the world in complex ways. As the world opens up
to them, parental separation can contribute to their increasing tendency to question, doubt and criticize their
parents. Find time to listen and talk with your child on a regular basis. One of the best times for you to listen
is when you are enjoying special one-on-one time together. When your child talks, get to your child’s level
and wait for the main part of the message to be communicated before replying. Ask open-ended questions
to learn more. Show your child you have heard by paraphrasing the message and expressing empathy, if
appropriate.

Adolescence: Adolescents are actively asserting their independence and trying out different identities. They
are thoughtful contributors to discussions when parents minimize their own negative reactions. A common
teen response to parental separation is anger. Your teen might become angry and less communicative than
before, but this does not mean that your teen needs you less. During this time, teens need their parents’
guidance more than ever. When your teen wants to talk, make time to listen. If you are busy at the moment,
let your teen know when you can talk. When your teen talks, take time to hear the whole story before
responding.

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