Resilience and Well-being
For Scientists
Dr. Sharon L. Milgram, Director NIH OITE
www.training.nih.gov // [email protected]
On Twitter @SHARONMILGRAM // @NIH_OITE
A Visual Metaphor For Work….
and Life
What This Teaches Us
We all need to be prepared for the wobbly bridge, or for no
bridge at all
Grabbing the hand that reaches out is a GOOD THING
(but with caveats)
Reaching out your hand to help others, is also a GOOD
THING (but with caveats)
There is important learning to be found when skipping
rocks and on the wobbly bridge (but only with support,
curiosity, time and practice)
Important concept – we all need….
inner resources
external supports
We Are Scientists And Understand
Data
Important protective factors for [mental] health and well-
being (= thriving)
learning and using positive coping styles
finding connection and support (at work and in our life)
taking time to care of ourselves – to develop hobbies, to be with
loved ones, and to rest and recharge (without substantial amounts
of guilt)
positive mentoring relationships
a sense of financial stability
Some Helpful Models
Wind Reshapes Landscapes
Stress + Support + Well-being
Stress-related growth
Resilience = People + Process + Preparation
Our Window Of Tolerance
Reactive zone – we lash out, hurting ourselves and/or others
The zone where we….
function most effectively
easily find our creative problem-solving self
address interpersonal issues calmly and respectfully
handle stress and setback most effectively
“Give up” and ignore zone – we avoid dealing with important issues
Dr. Dan Siegel
To Stay In (and Widen) Our “Window” We
Need To…
Tend to our stress management, well-being, and
resilience
Develop our self and relationship management skills
Two quick and easy reminders…..
To do well, we have to be well
To treat others well, we have to be well ourselves
And Another Model
And two questions:
helpful or unhelpful?
comfortable or uncomfortable?
changes
in one will
impact the
other two
https://beckinstitute.org/cognitive-model/
We Can Be……
JACKAL GIRAFFE OSTRICH
Tear down Build up Ignore
Unhelpful Helpful Unhelpful
Unkind Kind Complicated
Closed Open Closed
Disrespectful Respectful Disrespectful
About Blame About Accountability About Blame
Jackal and giraffe based on work for Marshall Rosenberg at https://www.cnvc.org/
How This Plays Out
ATTITUDES
satisfied/unsatisfied
THOUGHTS and connected/disconnected
WORK FEELINGS
EVENTS supported/unsupported
comfortable/uncomfortable
daily hassles helpful/unhelpful BEHAVIORS
daily up-lifts helpful/unhelpful
engage/withdraw
persist/give up
speak up/stay quiet
Or in reverse!
With the Goal of AIR
ATTITUDES
satisfied/unsatisfied
THOUGHTS and connected/disconnected
WORK FEELINGS
EVENTS Supported/unsupported
Comfortable/Uncomfortable
Daily hassles Helpful/Unhelpful BEHAVIORS
Daily up-lifts helpful/unhelpful
engage/withdraw
persist/give up
Awareness
Accurate Interpretation
Regulation
Why AIR Matters So Much
Uncomfortable Uncomfortable
Unhelpful Helpful
Comfortable Comfortable
Unhelpful Helpful
And Don’t Forget Behaviors
From three perspectives
the ways we do or don’t take care of ourself
how we set boundaries
The actions we take to address issues
And three directions
for ourselves
how we promote the well-being of others
how we view and interpret the behaviors of
others
OITE Well-Being Model
The things we do, and don’t do, to maintain our….
Well-being is a foundation of
Body Mind resilience.
Resilience is needed in all areas of
our life – our education, science,
Heart Spirit career, relationships, etc.
Wellness Assessment - Body
Almost Never 1………….2……..…….3………..……4….......…..5 Almost Never
I do my best to…
get enough sleep (at least 7 hours, most nights)
eat balanced, nutritious meals
avoid excessive use of caffeine
avoid excessive use of alcohol and other drugs of abuse
get regular exercise (at least 3 times a week)
get regular health care for myself
take care of myself when I am sick, need rest, or just need a break
Wellness Assessment - Mind
Almost Never 1………….2……..…….3………….……4….....…..5 Almost Always
I do my best to…
avoid getting caught up in perfectionism
focus on the present vs. rehashing the past or worrying about the future
avoid negative or deceptive self-talk
practice self-affirmations and [realistic] positive self-talk
avoid judging myself compared to others
allow myself the time explore and learn about new things
I am open to therapy as a tool to maintain and improve my
health and wellbeing
Wellness Assessment - Heart
Almost Never 1………….2……..…….3………..……4….......…..5 Almost Always
I do my best to…
be open to and let myself feel all my emotions
reach out to others for support when I need it
communicate my needs and feelings directly and honestly
make time to spend with my friends and ‘family’
allow myself the time to engage in activities that are fun and
relaxing
avoid extreme use of my phone as a coping tool/ avoidance
strategy
demonstrate compassion for myself and others
Wellness Assessment - Spirit
Almost Never 1……….2…….…….3……….……4…..........5 Almost Always
I feel connected to something that is bigger than me –
however I define that, by…
seeking out resources (practices, activities, people, places) that nurture
me spiritually
reflecting on and invest in what is meaningful to me
reading writings or watching media that inspire me
thinking of and caring about the lives of others who are different than me
allow myself time to just be (human being vs. human doing)
I engage in activities that support my values and purpose
in life/work
A Moment For…
Self-Reflection
A Moment For…
Self-Reflection AND self-compassion
A Moment For…
Self-Reflection AND self-compassion and
realistic goal setting
To Make Change, We Need To…
Be curious and kind to ourselves as we explore our thoughts,
feelings and behaviors
curious = self-awareness
kind = self-compassion
Explore new ways forward as we see unhelpful patterns that
often get in the way
learn to question and reframe unhelpful stories (about ourselves and others)
develop skill in recognizing and naming our emotions
expanding our ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions as we make decisions
and take helpful action
work to find the learning, especially when we are disappointed
develop well-being practices to set a foundation for our resilience
Remember….
Small steps matter
It is not a race and there is no finish line
Helpful change leads to more helpful change
Lessening unhelpful behaviors or softening unhelpful
thinking is also positive change
We are all works in progress, and are products of the
environments we have spent time in, and are currently in
We work in a culture that can make this difficult
Fish Don’t See Water
And we do not always accurately see our cultures –
To Improve the [Mental] Health Of Our
Community We Need To….
Start examining our cultures and what they bring us that
is helpful and what they bring that is unhelpful
Tackle unhelpful elements of our cultures and provide
resources for individuals to thrive
systems = research groups, departments, programs, institutions, and the
broad/global research community…
resources = workshops, on-demand training, peer groups, support
groups, individual support and coaching, …
Pillars For Thriving
An appreciation for the importance of self-awareness,
self-reflection and a willingness to change; this requires
curiosity and kindness
A willingness to use resources, proactively and in times
of stress/distress
The ability to lean into discomfort and other
uncomfortable emotions
A focus on relationship building and supportive
communication
Plans for when things are difficult
Ready access to training to support PIs, administrators,
other research supervisors, trainees, and trainees who
are also mentors
Pro-Resilience Behaviors
The well-being assessment
celebrate your successes and ask yourself where change might be helpful
Journaling
let’s us be with our thoughts and feelings without worrying what others
think of us, especially over time
Mindfulness
helps us learn to ”be” with our thoughts, feelings and struggles without
judgement
Therapy
helps us identify maladaptive coping strategies and replace them with
adaptive ones
Community
we can learn from others and build resilience by helping others
What Am I Doing?
I do my best to…..
tend to my own health well-being and support others in doing the same
find time to learn and practice positive coping strategies, including resilience
training
set boundaries and unplug from work
develop and use assertiveness, relationship management and emotional
intelligence skills
consider environment when choosing positions
learn about important resources on my campus and beyond
engage in important communities that nurture all facets of my life
reflect on my blind-spots and biases (about mental health, STEM-M career
outcomes, people etc. )
learn mental health first aide, while understanding my role and respecting
boundaries
engage in important discussions about culture change in science
What Are We Doing?
As a group we are doing our best to…..
develop a framework for discussing issues that gives voice to all and holds all
accountable
respect that each person has their own experience and that all are equally
valid, no matter how different
appreciate that disagreement and conflict are inevitable, and work to ‘do it well’
understand the importance of honoring a process for giving and receiving
feedback, repairing relationships and making authentic apologies
hold group meetings and an annual retreat focused on well-being, resilience,
diversity, allyship, relationship management, etc.
talk about stress management when we set goals and discuss our IDPs
establish and honor pro-vacation policies
have and honor fun group traditions (“snow days”)
advertise and support attendance at campus-wide activities that support
diverse trainees and diverse career outcomes
maintain healthy boundaries and reach out to appropriate institutional support
systems as needed
Something You Can Do Now
Commit to more self- and group-reflection
Make AND SHARE a wellness collage; it is a great
reminder of who we are and…
what helps us stay well
what brings us joy
what we are grateful for
the power of community
doing for others
OITE Resources For All
Join the NIH OITE
info listserv
https://tinyurl.com/OITElist
Becoming a Resilient
Scientist Playlist
https://tinyurl.com/OITEbecoming
OITE YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/c/NIHOITE
