THE CUCKOLD LIFESTYLE.

A Guide for Curious Couples.

Contents

Introduction

1 Mild Curiosity.

2 Rules of Engagement.

3 Power and Trust

4 Submission and Pain.

5 The changing role of men in society.

6 Embellishments: the role of toys and clothes in cuckoldry.

7 Participation.

8 The Joy of Domination: a female perspective.

9 Final thoughts.
Introduction.

There have always been cheating wives, and cheating husbands. This book is not about them.
Lots of relationships fail for a myriad of different reasons with one partner straying to find
physical or emotional comfort elsewhere, which can be both sad and sometimes distressing.
Further this book is not about open marriages, where both parties enter freely and willingly into
relationships outside of the marriage itself, nor indeed is it about the swinging lifestyle, where
couples of a certain age gain solace from sharing their misery with others of a similar
disposition.

The Cuckold lifestyle is more complex than that. It is about sex, certainly, it can be incredibly
erotic but it also involves intense emotions, some good, some more challenging and above all an
exchange of power, principally with the male giving over power in a very real way to his female
partner.

Interest in The Cuckold Lifestyle is growing exponentially in western societies, both in the
United States and across Europe, particularly amongst the educated classes, and more and more
couples are beginning to explore the idea, often with a heady mixture of fear and excitement.

This book explores the reasons behind this rise in interest in an age-old practice, and the
extraordinarily pleasurable rewards that this can give to both the female and male in a marriage
or long term relationship. It also provides some ideas, based on the personal experience of
couples that have adopted the practice, on the approach they have taken, the pitfalls to avoid and
the need to establish clear ground rules from the beginning.

The Cuckold Lifestyle is not a sex game. When a woman sleeps with another man it cannot be
undone. In legal terms she is committing adultery, which can be successfully cited as a grounds
for divorce. It is a lifestyle that can work when both parties are sexually attracted to the idea, and
more importantly, derive pleasure from the preparation, execution and aftermath of an act of
planned adultery where a wife has sex with another man with the absolute knowledge and
acceptance of the husband.

This pleasure is not straightforward. It is sophisticated and involves powerful feelings and
emotions, particularly for the husband, that on their own would generally not be considered
pleasurable at all. These can include jealousy, torment, anxiety, humiliation, embarrassment,
feelings of inadequacy and confusion. But if properly controlled they can lead to incredible
feelings of sexual and emotional satisfaction.

Similarly, for the wife, this is not just about enjoying sex with someone else, although this is part
of it. It also includes intense feelings of power, the thrill of dominating of their husband, sadistic
pleasure from the emotional affect that their behaviour is having on their partner and above all,
total control.

Fiona:-
"My husband raised the idea at first, and I was not at all keen. However after much discussion
we found someone appropriate and the sex that night just blew me away. Within a month there
was absolutely no way I was going back to a monogamous relationship, and my husband could
see that. Fortunately he was able to cope with the fundamental change in our relationship and
learnt to accept his new role. It wasn't long before the definition of husband, in my mind, was
someone who was totally focused on facilitating pleasure for his wife, without any personal
participation in the process at all. This led me to fundamentally question the whole basis of
marriage, and indeed the role of men within any relationship with a woman.

For myself, I was able to compartmentalize having sex with an 'Alpha Male', which I found
incredibly erotic as a 'feminine' female, and the relationship I had with my husband where his
role became completely subservient to my wishes as the inferior partner in our marriage. I still
love him dearly, perhaps more than ever, but the way we now relate is fundamentally different. I
pretty much control his entire being now, and that is the way I like it."

Above all, this book is intended to provide an honest and hopefully interesting guide for
husbands and wives who are considering taking the not insignificant step of entering a cuckold
lifestyle. I sincerely hope that it works for you, because I can tell you, there is absolutely nothing
more satisfying than cuckolding a man. It is control in its highest form, and is both addictive and
hugely rewarding for both parties in a marriage or long-term relationship.

Kitty x
1. Mild Curiosity.

Most people begin their journey into the Cuckold Lifestyle because the idea interests them, or
more accurately the idea titillates them, and interestingly males and females will usually take an
entirely different perspective on this, as the outcome for both of them will be very different. As it
is extremely unlikely that both the husband and wife are enjoying the same fantasy at the same
time, the idea inevitably has to be raised by one party first.

George:

"I had fantasized about by wife, who is ten years younger than me, having sex with another man
almost since the day we were married. We enjoyed a loving and happy relationship and I am
pretty sure that would have continued if the urge within me hadn't been so strong.

What I really wanted, but knew would never happen, was for my wife to raise the idea first. This
thought was for me a sexual fantasy in it's own right. If my wife had told me that she wanted to
have sex with another man, and would enjoy watching the affect that would have on me
emotionally, it would have been exquisite. I fantasized about how that would make me feel. The
sense of impending betrayal, the inevitable jealousy, the agonizing wait whilst she was with him,
the feelings of inadequacy and the aftermath. The ridicule, the sense of emasculation and
potential of losing her forever to someone else, it was just too hot.

In the end it was I who raised the subject, and had to lead the discussion up to the point at which
my wife agreed to give it a try. That perhaps took away some of the thrill, but that was more than
made up when my wife decided to embrace the lifestyle with an almost frightening enthusiasm
and conviction."

Whether it is the husband or wife who raises the idea first is a matter of circumstances. As the
lifestyle becomes more mainstream it is clear that the subject will come up in conversation much
more often, and indeed both parties are likely to have given it at least some cursory thought. So,
rather than waiting around forever until someone in the marriage actually says something, let's
concentrate on the relative attraction of the lifestyle for each party, starting with the wife.

Typically a woman might initially enjoy the prospect of having sex with another man because it
would make a change. Most people accept that the first time you have sex with someone new is
pretty amazing, or least the lead up to it is, even if the actual act disappoints. After years in a
monogamous relationship sex usually becomes quite predictable. Both partners know which
buttons to push in order to satisfy their partner, and that becomes the routine. It works, so why
change it. Either that or sex is demoted to a minor bit part in a marriage, in which participation is
both rare and unexciting.

It is at this stage that both parties often enter into various fantasies to satisfy their own libido, and
let's be honest here, both partners will also find opportunities to masturbate, probably without
their partner's knowledge.
So, presented with an opportunity to actually have sex with another man with your husband's
permission is quite appealing, if a little daunting.

Harriet:-

"My husband raised the idea first. I am taller than him and he (and others) have told me that I
am beautiful. Personally I am not sure about that. I scrub up quite well for a party, and men do
tend to flirt with me, but I hadn't given any thought at all to infidelity, god no. I love my husband,
he makes me laugh and we have so many things in common.

But when we really started to talk about it I realized that actually this was quite a complicated
subject. I do remember being out with friends after our initial discussion and feeling ever so
slightly different when I spoke to some of our male friends. I thought about the idea of actually
having sex with them with the consent of my partner, and the idea was not wholly unattractive.
However, it doesn't end there. It is not an act without consequences, and it was when I started to
think about those consequences that I realized just how hot this could be.

I started to think about it properly, and I concluded, above everything else, that I would feel
differently about Martin, my husband, afterwards. It was as if a door opened in my mind. I could
let my hair down and be this hot babe, I guess, (giggles) and my husband would watch as an
observer. I realized, at first with some shame, that I had suppressed my sexual potential, my
attractiveness to others, in order to conform to this idea of being a good wife. This would give
me the opportunity to break free from all those inhibitions and do as I pleased. The idea was
pretty mind-blowing actually.......

.......it was a little later that I realized that there was actually even more to it than that. It wasn't
only about my own sexual liberation, but also about Martin's loss of control over me, albeit that
neither of us had ever thought of it that way before. That led me to re-think the very foundations
of our marriage, and even the relationship between men and women in a marriage. Then there
was the whole question of power, and the implications of this for society. Martin had opened up
a Pandora's box of possibilities all which were exciting, intellectually stimulating, interesting
and above all extremely erotic."

Harriet is reasonably typical of the way a woman will respond over a period of time to the
prospect of cuckoldry. It may start off as a pleasant day dream about a bit on the side, so as to
speak, but pretty soon, if the idea is fundamentally attractive, it leads on to a much more detailed
analysis of the consequences, and the in particular the way the balance of power between the
wife her husband changes.

Pippa:-

"I think it took about a couple of months before I knew that the feelings I had for my husband
were changing. Looking back I think it was all pretty inevitable. There I am freely engaging in a
pretty lively sexual relationship with a friend of ours, and coming home the following day to my
husband, who wasn't. I knew he had been masturbating like crazy whilst I was away, and he was
pretty sheepish when I got back. I just felt on top of the world, and incredibly confident.

I am not sure when it happened exactly, but it got to a point where I lost a little of my respect for
him. I could see he was getting off thinking about me with Matt (her lover) and more than that I
could see how he was turned on by the 'anxiety' that our regular liaisons caused him. I can' think
that this is unusual. I mean, if your husband is enjoying the humiliation of this scene, then
inevitably the wife, any wife, is going to start to feel superior to their husband. At least that was
what happened to me, and that in itself was so hot. I had become, entirely with my husbands
consent, the dominant partner in the relationship simply as a result of what I was doing. It is
difficult to articulate, but I sure as hell knew that dominating my husband, humiliating him like
this, was unbelievably erotic."

We will come on to discuss this from a man's perspective in a moment, but certainly with most
couples, there are these various separate aspects to cuckoldry, which take some time for a
woman to get her head around. Sex, power and the establishment of a dynamic where they
become the dominant partner in a marriage, and the inevitable end result that their husband takes
on the role of facilitating his wife's sexual and emotional needs with someone else at the expense
of his own.

Mrs. Chadwick:-

"I hadn't ever considered myself a feminist, or even a particularly dominant person. I love my
husband, we enjoyed vanilla sex for many years and we enjoyed a happy married life together,
but after a couple of years in the world of Cuckoldry my views changed, and in a very profound
way.

I began to see my husband as inferior to me, and in fact started to see all husbands as inferior to
their wives. Not all men, I mean I love men, proper men, and will always enjoy sex with them, but
I thought of my husband as somehow different. It was as if the act of marriage was a contract
whereby he had willingly accepted that the role of a husband was to serve his wife, at his
expense.

That thought, that idea, just blew me away. It was a Stepford moment for me, and got me
thinking about the whole dynamics between men and women in the twenty-first century. Did we
actually need them? I mean they weren't pulling the heads off of mammoths any more, or digging
for coal. Man had fundamentally become redundant in their traditional role as the strong
hunter/protector, or whatever it was they did before the i-pad. The idea that their role in society
had been realigned as the fundamentally inferior was deeply satisfying to me, and I could see
that for men it was going to get worse and worse. The idea that men are being subjugated by the
changes in society leaves me in a permanent state of sexual arousal.”

For many men, the highlight of their cuckolding experience is the moment that their wife decides
that having sex outside of the marriage is not just an alternative, but the way it is going to be on a
permanent basis. This is when the exchange of power between the husband and wife is truly
defined, and it can be a mind-blowing experience for both parties.
Heidi:-

"I started dating a friend of ours very reluctantly. My husband kept nagging me to do it, and
eventually I agreed to go for a drink with him. It was all very innocent, but I could tell my
husband was really turned on by the whole idea. He helped me prepare for the evening, washing
my back in the bath, helping me choose my clothes and even helping me dress. I can't remember
a time he had ever been so attentive, certainly not when we went out together as a married
couple. It made me feel very special, and actually loved in a way I had always wanted, and after
a few years of marriage missed a bit.

The first evening was really nice. We had a drink in a pub, if I remember rightly, and then went
for a meal by the river. I guess I was a bit flirtatious, but there was never any question that it
would lead anywhere. I was married woman, and Tim was a single friend of both of us. After
dinner Charlie (Heidi's husband) sent me a text asking me how it was going. When Tim was in
the loo I sent a text back saying we had ahead a pleasant evening, and he, rather bizarrely asked
me to kiss him. I sensed that Charlie was really getting off on this and thought to myself, hell,
why not.

Two months' later I was seeing Tim three or four times a week and had stopped sleeping with
Charlie completely. It was amazing really. When I told Charlie that I still loved him, but our sex
life was over he cried. I could see he was genuinely hurt, genuinely upset, but he had this like
massive erection as he sat there on the bed. It was such a rush. He was getting off on the mental
torment that my infidelity was giving him and so was I. I don't think I ever felt so turned on.
From then on I tried to find more and more ways to hurt him, mentally I mean. You know,
teasing him about how good Tim was in bed, kissing him in front of Charlie, and even taking him
upstairs to bed whilst Charlie sat downstairs watching television.

I might have started doing this for Charlie, but now I do it entirely for me. It is very liberating
actually. I would recommend it to every woman."

From a man's perspective the motivation is quite different. The interest initially comes from the
thrill that they will experience knowing that another man is having sex with their wife. This is
where things get quite complicated, and why cuckoldry is most definitely not for everyone. The
thrill for a husband results from a positive outcome from a series of interconnected feelings and
emotions, some of which, as we have alluded to above, are independently quite unpalatable.
Think of it in terms of cooking. A meal comprising raw onions, salt, raw fish and vegetables is
pretty unpalatable, but put them together properly and you can make a heavenly meal.

So, from a male’s perspective a typical scenario is where a man has a fantasy that his beautiful
wife sleeps with another man. The thought of it is thrilling, dangerous even, but it is above
everything, extremely erotic. The husband may confront his wife with the idea and a discussion
begins.

Be aware though that in most instances this is not going to be particularly well received by most
wives. Women are naturally suspicious of their husbands when it comes to sex, and a wife may
well initially think, 'Hey what is he really saying here, is he trying to tell me he is having an
affair?"

If you are lucky your wife will listen to your fantasy and start to reflect. Give it time. This is a
very, very big thing. It isn't like buying a paddle or a riding crop and having a bit of fun in the
bedroom on a Saturday night. You are both going to be playing with fire.

John:-

"I had been over and over this fantasy in my head for years. It was so hot. When we were getting
ready to go out together I would watch my wife dress and imagine that she was getting ready for
someone else. I remember one evening my wife left the bathroom to change and the room smelt
of her perfume. It was an incredible rush. I remember closing the bathroom door when she went
into our bedroom and imagining her going in to see her lover while I was left locked in the
bathroom by her. I looked down and to my amazement I was spontaneously ejaculating
everywhere. It was a bit of a shock really. I didn't think men could do that without some form of
stimulation."

Essentially the thrill for a husband comes from the feelings of anxiety, jealousy and pain that
knowing your wife is being unfaithful brings. That may sound strange to a lot of people, but
really it is no different, and in fact just another aspect of the D/s (Domme/sub) scene. The
husband agrees to be put in a position of suffering for his own masochistic pleasure and his
wife's sadistic pleasure.

It is a Contract, and the terms of that Contract are that there have to be limits and there have to be
rules. For example, some couples may agree that the wife would never have sex with another
person at home, or in the presence of her husband. The thrill for the husband is the pain he feels
when alone at home whilst his wife is out on a date. He has no idea what she is doing, or when,
and the anxiety rush can therefore last for hours, even days.

For others, they may agree that the husband is fully engaged in the act, either by watching his
wife in bed with another man, or even participating it the scene in some way.

Larry:-

"I guess I am not a particularly subtle person, or perhaps I just don't have much imagination, but
just waiting at home doing the washing up whilst my wife was being unfaithful somewhere wasn't
enough for me. I wanted to have my nose rubbed in it, so as to speak.

It started with me sitting in a chair and watching, and that was pretty hot. But after a while it
kind of escalated. My wife would look at me whilst her lover pushed into her. I could see in her
eyes that she was tormenting me, and it felt both painful and hot at the same time. These days it
is pretty extreme I guess. The other day I was tied to a chair, hands behind my back, with my legs
wide apart bound tightly behind the knees. I was exposing my genitals and my bottom in the most
vulgar way imaginable. My wife had dressed me in a pair of stockings and stuck a butt plug in
me, and then blindfolded me. All I could do was sit there and listen to them making love on our
bed. I couldn't have been more humiliated."

If everything you have read so far leaves you cold, then the cuckold lifestyle is probably not for
you. But if some aspects of this excite you then this guide may help you plan your new life
together, joining thousands of other couples who are embracing this fast growing lifestyle
choice.
2. Rules of Engagement.

However the idea started, whether raised by the husband, wife or a friend with a similar interest
it is essential that some ground rules are established at the very beginning. As we have discussed,
Cuckoldry is a complex phenomenon and can give rise to very powerful emotional responses for
both parties, and even third parties.

To begin with you need to talk it through very carefully together over a long period of time,
months, even years, not just a few days or weeks. This is not a sex game. It is an exchange of
power, which gives a wife a great deal of power at the expense of her husband. The wife needs to
be able to manage that situation in a way that is acceptable to the husband, and In a way in which
he can control his emotional response, so the bad feelings (jealousy, anguish, torment, confusion)
become good feelings ( sexual satisfaction, contentment, joy). The best way to do this is through
conversation, going through the issues over and over again, and understanding the consequences
of your actions.

If you are already in some sort of D/s relationship with your husband then it is important that you
converse in an equal way about Cuckolding. You can’t impose it on him as you might require
him to do the washing-up or go down on you. You have to come out of character and ensure that
it meets both your needs. A very submissive men married to a very dominant women doesn’t
necessarily mean that cuckoldry is right for that relationship.

Naomi:-

" George was keen to just go for it, like a bull in a china shop, but I wasn't so confident. I kept
thinking about the consequences, the long-term consequences, and that scared me a little bit. On
the face of it seemed quite pleasant. I admit there were a number of our friends, and quite a few
strangers, that I fancied, and I would lying if I said I hadn't had a naughty little thought now and
again. But for George, well that took me quite a while to get my head around what was in it for
him, and I mean not just at the beginning but further on down the line.

He kept telling me it was fine, that he really wanted me to do it, and that he could handle the
situation. But I was concerned it was his penis talking, not his brain. We went through it
carefully, and it helped to break it down into the various stages. The main problem I had was
how George would react down the line, when this became a regular thing, with my sex life
sorted, so as to speak, and his based only on, well, misery I guess. I worried about him getting
depressed, resentful, angry and I was also worried that it could damage or even destroy our
relationship.

In the end it was me who said no. We still talk about it now and again, but have found other ways
to exchange power that just involves ourselves. I am convinced that was the right decision (for
us) and to be honest I think George thinks the same now. However, I am glad we discussed the
issue so fully because it did bring it home to both of us that we needed to spice up our love life a
bit, even if in the end cuckoldry wasn't right for us."

There are a number if issues to discuss before it is sensible to actually start down the road to a
cuckold lifestyle, and it is sensible if each of these is agreed before you start. It isn't quite the
same as Limits cards as used it he BDSM scene (where the sub lists those things that he or she
likes, those things that they don't like and those that are definitely off limits) but there are
similarities.

Everyone is different and every cuckold relationship is different so the Rules are pretty much up
to each couple to decide. But the basic premise is simple. The actions of the wife must be
acceptable to the husband, and equally importantly the wife must be comfortable with what she
is doing. If this simple rule is broken it will almost certainly end in tears. If the husband cannot
cope this can cause a great deal of hurt, and potentially be dangerous. Similarly if the wife feels
under pressure to be unfaithful to fulfill her husband’s fantasies this can lead to her feeling used,
abused or worse.

Pauline:

"We talked about what we both wanted a lot, and in the end we agreed on what would and would
not be acceptable, what would work for us. For my part I didn't want to involve anyone we knew.
I was happy with strangers, albeit pretty heavily vetted, but definitely not friends or married
men.

My husband wanted to participate in the scene sometimes as an observer, and that wasn't going
to work for me with someone we both already knew. I wasn't entirely sure why at first, but as my
confidence grew, and my interest in humiliating my husband started to develop, I was convinced
I had made the right decision. I didn't want our friends to know what a conniving little bitch I
could be, or indeed the depths of depravity that my husband would sink to in order to satisfy my
sadistic urges. It was best kept a secret."

From the male perspective, the husband has to make it clear upfront how involved he wants to
be. Does he want to just know that his wife is being unfaithful on occasions without any real
participation, or does he want to be right there in the thick of it, actually with his wife and lover
as they are engaged in the act?

John:-

"For me the thrill is actually not knowing what is happening, to be excluded from the intimacy of
the relationship my wife was having with the other person. That was, and is, much more painful
and upsetting as you never know quite what is going on and when. I have friends in the scene
that like to watch, but that isn't for me. It is far more humiliating when I am left behind to
contemplate my inadequacy whilst my hot wife goes on a date, or worse stays over with her
lover.

Sometimes, left alone in a silent house I go nearly mad with jealousy and I think about what they
are doing constantly. It is exhausting and emotionally draining, but it is also the most
extraordinarily erotic feeling imaginable."

As the relationship develops, and both the husband and wife get used to their new lifestyle, quite
often the rules will change. Typically the wife will grow in confidence, and her relationship with
her husband, and indeed her relationship with men generally, changes. When a wife has properly
cuckolded her husband she often then treats him differently. When it works the love between the
couple increases, the relationship is more open and honest and the husband tends to be more
loving and helpful. The wife will appreciate these changes in her husband but will often then try
to push the boundaries a bit further. Cuckoldry is about an exchange if power, and as the power
moves from husband to wife then it is natural for the wife to use her new power effectively, for
the benefit of both parties. But that is not always the case.

Mrs. D: -

" I would like to say that I cuckolded my husband because that is what he wanted me to do and
because he enjoys it. Certainly both of those things were true in the early stages, and we were
both careful to respect each other, and to play the game fairly, paying very careful attention to
each other’s feelings. That lasted for a few months, but I started to think more carefully about my
position as the superior female, and about my husband’s role as the submissive male. I guess
that I have always considered women superior to men, and the fact that my husband was
prepared to accept my infidelity, and indeed encouraged it, reinforced that opinion.

I found myself enjoying his deepening submission, and watching the agonizing torment that my
behaviour was inflicting on him psychologically. My weekly sometimes twice-weekly outings,
often overnight, were having a cumulative effect on my husband’s attitude and behaviour. He
went through various stages. At first it was a quiet acceptance, where he appeared to be pale
and nervous, but was able to help me get ready for my dates, and accepted my gentle little digs
at his lack of manhood. After a few weeks though he became much more submissive, much more
tactile and much more loving.

There were tears, certainly, but he never directly challenged me. The nearest he came to actual
rebellion was one evening when he became sarcastic and cheeky just before I left for a date in a
particularly short skirt. That resulted in him receiving the spanking of his life over my knee with
the back of my hairbrush. I must have given him fifty or sixty seriously hard smacks on the back
of his thighs before I finally calmed down. I left him on our bed sobbing uncontrollably whilst I
went out on my date. I think I had the orgasm of my life that night, it just went on and on.

It was after that evening that I decided that our ground rules were going to change. I became
much less careful about what I said to my husband, and actually went out of my way to be mean
and demanding. I wanted my husband to understand the consequences of the decision we jointly
took, and also to understand that I was superior to him and expected him to accept my control
over him unconditionally. That meant that our rules, well, let's just say that they evaporated on
the night that he received his first real spanking from me. I know that he wouldn't dare challenge
my behaviour on any level now, in fact quite the opposite, he encourages my promiscuity. He is
my submissive cuckolded husband and that is what I want him to be."

Mrs. D is one of several women who have changed the Rules of Engagement as the relationship
they have with their husband evolves. It is important that women do this carefully and at the
appropriate time. They have to instinctively know that their husband has moved into a mental
space where they will accept further control, even total control, and this is easier for some
women than others: it depends both on the relationship they have with their husband and where
they sit on the domination spectrum. A naturally dominant woman will find it easier to exert
additional controls on her husband than one who is more neutral.
3. Power and Trust.

In this section we are going to look at the various techniques that women can adopt to turn their
husbands into cuckolds. The assumption here is that the wife herself has instigated the discussion
rather than reacting to an implied or expressed desire from her partner. As the lifestyle becomes
more and more mainstream it is becoming increasingly common for women to take the lead in
cuckolding their husbands, and I am often asked how they can achieve this from a standing start.

The most important thing to say here is that you have to train your husband to accept what is
going to happen to him before you actually engage in an act of infidelity. The approach is very
different from a situation where the male instigates the discussion, although the end result is
often the same. When the husband raises the subject he has in his own mind been over and over
the fantasy many times. The wife has to control the speed at which things happen, and as we
have discussed earlier, fine-tune her behaviour to maximise her enjoyment and his submission
and mental discomfort.

When a woman instigates the discussion, expressing her desire to have sex with other people
outside of the marriage, it is she that has to bring her husband around to the idea. Of course in
many instances this is not possible to achieve. If the husband is not turned on by the idea, or it
leaves him feeling horrified or betrayed then it is best to move your marriage in a different
direction. However, if there is some initial interest from the husband, albeit tentative and
reluctant, then there are various techniques that a wife can adopt to create the most appropriate
relationship with her husband to increase the chances of success.

There are three distinct phases, each of which needs to be achieved before you are ready to start
sleeping with other men. Establish control of your husband, introduce chastity and discipline and
thirdly reinforce your feelings of love towards him. These may seem like slightly contradictory
goals, but in combination they have proven to be incredibly powerful tools. Applied correctly
they will also make your husband a better person, and your marriage stronger and more fulfilling
for both of you.

Let's start by looking at control.

April:-

"I realized that the relationship I had with my husband needed to be 'tidied up' before I could
successfully cuckold him. I knew that there were going to be a number of challenges ahead and if
we were going to get anywhere then I needed to establish a set of rules that my husband would
abide by. My logic was simply. If I could get him to behave in a certain way then he would
understand the boundaries I set him. If he strayed from these rules I would discipline him. Over
a period of time this worked, and within six months I had an obedient, occasionally disciplined,
well-behaved and polite husband. I in turn rewarded him with my loving attention and our
marriage became even stronger. That, for me, was a far better starting point to cuckoldry than
the slightly messy, undisciplined relationship we had before."
There aren't any rules, all relationships are unique, but the sort of ideas that often work revolve
around requiring your husband to undertake certain chores, and then becoming more and more
demanding about the way these are undertaken and the amount of work that you consider to be
acceptable.

Mrs. C:-

"Personally, I enjoyed every minute. I had been in various chat groups reading and discussing
the idea of entering into a female led relationship, and I found it very exciting. When I broached
the idea with Phil (her husband) he was quite receptive, and indeed was actually very good at it.
I started off by asking him to do certain things around the house, washing up, making the beds,
vacuuming etc, and he just got on with it. I then started to add more and more tasks, and to nag
him about all the things that needed to be done around the house I created an atmosphere
whereby he felt that he was just about performing satisfactorily, but not to the point of receiving
my praise or respect.

Over time his workload around the house was actually quite time consuming for him, and I then
started to become more critical and more demanding, adding to his anxiety. It was at that point
that I started to add an element of discipline into our daily life. If Phil failed to clean the kitchen
properly I would scold him. This he found humiliating and deeply embarrassing. I tried to add an
element of ritual to this. He would be required to meet me in the sitting room at a set time and sit
on a chair in front of me. I would then stand in front of him and proceed to give him a long
lecture about his failings, wagging my finger, insisting on constant eye contact and with lots of
tutting and hands on hip. I was good at it and would often reduce him to tears. I loved breaking
him like this, it really turned me on and I could see him getting more and more submissive.

At the time I hadn't even thought about cuckolding him, I am not sure I even knew the term. But
looking back, it was those months and years of domestic discipline that made my husband
sufficiently submissive and obedient to accept it. I tell all my female friends the same. If you want
to have a fabulous sex life with whoever you want, make sure you have taken control of your
husband properly beforehand, because it makes your husband, and indeed the whole process, so
much easier to control."

The third element here is love. Don' t even think about cuckolding your husband unless you love
him and he loves you. You have to have a deep and meaningful relationship or it is going to end
in tears. When marriages start to fail it is common for one party or the other to stray. It often is
symptomatic of the failed relationship. If your marriage is shaky then cuckoldry is wrong,
wrong, wrong. It is at best abusive, at worse downright dangerous.

However, if you have a strong relationship then it is really quite easy to reinforce this through
loving discipline. It will make your husband love you more, respect you more and generally be a
much nicer person. That is the space you want him to be in before you start on your journey
together into cuckoldry: understanding their role, accepting discipline and loving and respecting
you for the control you exert on them.
Donna:-

"My husband and I had been living in a female led relationship (FLA) for about three years
before I broached the subject of cuckoldry with him. I am a very strict and dominant person and
the lifestyle we lived together was, I think, pretty extreme compared with other couples we knew
living in an FLA.

Paul had pretty much given over all control to me, in fact I insisted on it. He needed my
permission to do anything. I controlled what he wore, when he ate and drunk, all his chores, his
leisure time, and whom he spoke to. He needed my permission to do anything, and I mean
absolutely anything. At work he had to text me for permission to go to the toilet, to buy lunch,
anything, everything. I controlled our finances, our social life even his opinions.

Sex was highly ritualized and entirely controlled by me. There was no question that Paul would
masturbate, he wouldn't dare, so a chastity advice was unnecessary. Paul had become pretty
accomplished with his tongue, and would pleasure me whenever I felt the need. The idea of
penetrative sex with my husband seems quite ludicrous now, he is so far beneath me in status,
but in actual fact I only withdrew that from him completely less than two years before I started
cuckolding him.

We were actually very happy, Paul was in an almost constant sub-space when we were together
and was very focused on pleasing me. He had to work very hard indeed to meet my increasingly
exacting standards, and any failure on his part invariably led to a long and painful spanking,
often in front of my girlfriends, if I was feeling particularly mean. But I was always fair,
unreasonable sometimes I admit, but always fair. But the real point is that we loved each other.
After every punishment I would forgive him, and tell him so. He would respond, often quite
emotionally, by promising to improve, and generally we ended up having a cuddle, usually with
Paul in tears, or very close to. Then it was back to work for him."

Donna and Paul's experience is perhaps a little unusual, but they do illustrate the point that
establishing a relationship where the wife is absolutely in charge, the husband accepts discipline
and there is a genuine and mutual love then the basic elements are in place to start a successful
life embracing the cuckold lifestyle.

Gillian:-

"Paul had assumed the role of a devoted and loving servant, providing me with emotional
support by feeding my insatiable desire to dominate and control him. But I was still a hot-
blooded woman and I increasingly began to crave physical contact with real men, where I could
be feminine and girly and be treated like a lady. Frankly, I wanted to be fucked properly again.

When I first raised this with Paul he was very quiet. I could tell that I had got pretty close to his
limits. In particular I could see that he felt I was being unfair, something I have always tried to
avoid. He later confided in me that he was working so hard to please me, and to undertake his
chores well that he was near exhaustion. At the point I told him I wanted to take a lover his
emotional response was not what I expected, and that is entirely my own fault. I rather naively
thought that he would start to squirm at the very idea that I would sleep with someone else and
that I could feed off that anxiety and get him to enjoy the 'suffering’.

I hadn't envisaged that his main concern was that I was acting in a way that was inconsistent
with the control I had exercised over him over the previous three years. He couldn't focus on the
jealousy because he was so cut up about being punished for his hard work by my intended
infidelity! It took a while but I did understand that in time. It is like when you are unfairly
accused of doing something and the sense of unfairness just makes you want to cry.

Anyway, in the end I decided to take one step back in order to take two steps forward. I tempered
my domestic demands to a more reasonable level, giving Paul more free time, and taking on
some more of the household chores myself. Then when I raised the question of cuckolding him
again he was able to really think about it. That's when I first saw that look, that look of pure
anguish, and from that moment onwards I was hooked. Nothing can make me as wet as watching
Paul trying to cope with my infidelity. It made me a complete person in a way that I find it
difficult to properly describe."
4. Submission and pain. The bittersweet joy of a cuckolded husband.

When I was in my twenties I had a relationship with a chap, Robbie, that I originally met through
work. We had a brief and quite passionate affair, and I think for one brief moment I even thought
I loved him. In actual fact it was no more than a pleasant fling, and I soon moved on to other
things in my life. However, Robbie hadn't got over it at all, and I was constantly getting feedback
from mutual friends about his ongoing angst. When people told me I looked guilty, but
invariably the conversation I had with friends ended up with us laughing. Not because we were
ridiculing Robbie's heartache, but rather that there was something slightly uncool about a man
publicly suffering from love sickness. Humour also stopped me feeling like a heartless bitch.

However, I did see Robbie occasionally, mainly because he was lovely company and extremely
good in bed, and I think it was this rather cavalier attitude I took to his emotions that simply
fanned the flames of his love for me. Eventually it all petered out and we were both able to talk
about it objectively, and it was during these long reminiscences together that I learnt so much
about the angst that men feel when their love for a woman is unrequited.

Robbie explained to me that his torment was in many ways because he was in love with me and I
didn't love him. He was addicted to something bad (unobtainable) and the torment he felt was the
hangover. He admitted that it wasn't pleasant at all, but it was better than not having me at all. It
was better to love me as a one-way street than not to love me at all.

It is this torment that lies at the heart of the cuckold. He loves his wife but can't have her. Worse,
someone else can have her. The relationship is by its very nature completely unfair. The wife is
free to sleep with whom she wishes and the husband isn't. But it isn't that fact that causes the
anxiety. It is the feelings that the man has to endure before, during and after the event that causes
the real pain, and ultimately the exquisite pleasure of being cuckolded.

Edward:-

"I honestly didn’t think I could cope with the jealousy. It just tore me apart. Even though we
were going at this in a very gentle way it left me feeling pretty miserable. For the first few weeks
Jane had a series of first dates with various men that were either friends of friends or she met
through the Internet. All very innocent, just blind dates really, but this was my wife.

It was just agony. When Jane told me she had met someone that first time I had a huge adrenalin
rush and felt just awful. I remember watching in a state of almost shock watching her get ready
that evening. She dressed in a really provocative way, in the shortest skirt possible and knee
length boots that I had never seen before. Everything was different, her hair, her perfume even
her earrings were new. It made me feel detached, deliberately distanced by my wife from the
impending liaison. She was pushing every button imaginable to make this the most painful
experience she could for me, and I could see she was relishing every moment of my suffering.
I paced the room when she was out, threw myself on the bed in despair, I even tried to call her
but she had switched her phone off. She had thought of everything she possibly could to hurt me,
to heighten my anxiety. When she eventually came home it was 3am. I was still up. I could hardly
breathe. The two hours between 1am and 3 am were the longest in my life. She sat opposite me in
a single chair, deliberately distancing herself from me for a little longer. I sat there on the sofa,
pale and anxious whilst she crossed her legs exposing her thighs, showing me the long steel
spike of her boots. She had taken her tights off whilst she was out. What on earth had she been
doing?

That night we made love like never before. I was so hard, and so turned on, that it almost scared
me. I could tell that Jane was absolutely wired and she came at least three times before we
finally fell asleep. I honestly didn't think it was possible to follow such feelings of utter despair
with such fantastic sex. It was a bit worrying really, I seemed to be hot-wired to be turned on by
my wife's infidelity, and I thought just how complicated my newly discovered sexual orientation
was going to make everything."

It is when the husband can cope with this mental anguish that being cuckolded can really work.
The key here is to be able to get past the feelings of anger and jealousy and then 'enjoy' the
torment underneath. This is very difficult to articulate, and impossible to explain to those people
who can see no merit at all in the cuckold set-up.

William:-

"For me getting into the zone, I mean where I could revel in the anxiety that my wife's
relationships with others gave me, was quite easy. I put this down to my essentially submissive
nature. Yes I felt jealous, but not to the extent that I wanted to punch the man she was with or
anything. In fact I don't think that I even felt that hurt really. My over-riding emotion was one of
submission. I really enjoyed the way my wife had taken control of the situation and imposed this
lifestyle on me.

I was being cuckolded because Helen wanted to make me more submissive towards her. She saw
it as a way that she could increase her control over me in a very real way, and she expected me
to accept that, and accept how uneasy and anxious it made me. Helen would come home after a
night away full of confidence, her eyes shining, really enjoying finding how subdued and
introverted I was. It widened the gap between us in a way that just reinforced how strong she
was and how weak I was. It was unbelievably erotic.

Sometimes I would just kneel before her and she would stroke my hair telling me how pathetic I
was, how inadequate I was and how much she loved me for my submission. It put me into a sub-
space that was intoxicating, delicious."

Cuckolding is an extension of a D/s relationship (Domme/sub) where there is an exchange of

power and pain inflicted and received. The difference is that the pain inflicted is mental pain
rather than the physical pain. Whips and paddles are replaced by uncertainty, anxiety and mental
torment. The sub enjoys this submission to his Mistress and the Domme, the wife, enjoys the
power that she holds over her submissive husband. It can be a win:win situation, and the element
of danger just makes the whole thing sweeter. So many things can go wrong that there is a
constant edginess in the relationship, and if this can be sexualized then both the husband and the
wife can find themselves pretty much in a constant state of sexual tension.
5. The changing role of men in society.

Society is changing so rapidly now that it is sometimes hard to comprehend what is happening
around us. Historically though, when the world is going through a period of change, this can
manifest itself in a change in the ways in which we as humans relate to each other.

The internet, and indeed the exponential rise in all mobile electronic communications has led to a
rapid change in the way men and women relate to each other. Women love communicating with
each other, and mobile phones, texting, social media have made that infinitely easier. It has also
made it easier for women to arrange to meet each other, as a number of different groups can be
contacted simultaneously. This makes women happy. They are in constant communication with
each other, reinforcing relationships and providing mutual emotional support.

For men, the opposite has happened. Social media makes them feel uncomfortable. They can't or
won't embrace it in the same way as women, and watching their partners enjoying this form of
communication erodes their confidence. Couples walk down the street, he generally looks
miserable, ignored, whilst she is speaking, animated, happy, on her mobile to a friend. It happens
on every street in every country.

For men the Internet has become somewhere to access pornography, quietly, secretly and in a
fairly squalid way. All this is advancing at a scary pace. Women are blossoming in the new
electronic age and men are withering. Women are becoming happier and more confident and
men, at least some men, are becoming more insecure, losing their confidence in a very
permanent way.

They can’t fight back, society doesn’t allow that. They can’t be sexist, they can’t tease women,
they can’t control women. Women can tease men, they are allowed to be rude to them, to belittle
them, society expects that. So men don’t know what to do next, so they masturbate, and all the
time they are being emasculated, feminized by the unstoppable rise of the female.

Women see this, and are capitalizing on this change in society with frightening speed. They don't
just see themselves as equal to men, but superior to men. It isn't a battle of the sexes. It is just
that the world has changed and men are not thriving in this new world order. Inevitably these
changes affect the way that men and women relate to each other. Women want a relationship that
properly reflects the change in the balance of power between themselves and their men folk. The
change is unstoppable, and the most enlightened men see this, and are adapting their behaviour
in order to survive. They are becoming more submissive, more feminine, more useful for the
gender that has assumed the upper hand in our society, women.

It is very exciting to witness. All manner of interesting new ideas are emerging. Women
dominating men in relationships, the rise in structured female led relationships in marriage, the
introduction of domestic discipline in marriage, the feminization of men, and ultimately
cuckoldry.
Lara:-

"I am surprised there isn't more of it going on to be honest. Cuckolding is the best marriage
counseling service in the world. My husband is more attentive, more loving, more caring than I
can ever remember. He listens to me, thinks about my needs and is constantly working on ways
that he can please me and make me happy.

I think this is the right balance in the twenty-first century. Men need to re-invent themselves, and
make themselves useful in a rapidly changing society where women are undoubtedly more in
control and much happier. What better ways to do this than becoming useful creatures around
women. It just works. Man has a role, a purpose again, and if that is as a subservient and
submissive assistant to a woman then I don't see anything wrong with that at all. When men
accept this, in my experience, they become much happier, much more contented individuals. I
want to shout it from the rooftops to be honest. Kneel down in front of your women, it is your
only hope. "

Men are increasingly taking the path of least resistance in relationships with women, choosing
not to fight these changes, but rather adapting to survive, and it is through this very act of change
that they are discovering a road to happiness and fulfillment that has eluded them for years.

Luke:

"My wife first got the idea from a friend who had cuckolded her husband about a year earlier. I
wasn't aware that Tom had been cuckolded, and actually didn't have much idea about cuckolding
at all. When Cathy (Luke's wife) first raised the issue I was actually quite shocked. But I slowly
came around to the idea. We talked and talked very frankly, and it all seemed to have a logic to
it.

I wasn't working at the time, I felt lack-luster and a bit depressed and this had affected our
marriage, and in particular our sex life which was frankly pretty terrible. Cathy wanted to give
me something to focus on, and she thought it would be good for me. Eventually I came around to
the idea, and that is all she wanted. A cursory nod was all it took, and whoosh, she was off.

The change in both of us has been amazing. I get as excited as her before one of her dates, and
for the first time in years I feel I have a purpose, even if that is only to increase my wife's
personal pleasure at my expense. I think everyone would benefit from a cuckold lifestyle. If
things carry on at this pace, I can see a time when all women are free to have relationships with
anyone outside marriage, and men just have to accept it."
6. Embellishments: the role of toys and clothes in cuckoldry.

As I have said several times, there are no rules in cuckoldry, save that there is an exchange of
power, and the wife has sex freely outside of the marriage and the husband doesn't. Everything
else is pretty much a question of taste, and the extent to which each couple wishes to reinforce
their new relationship to intensify either the husband's humiliation or the wife's superiority.

Fashions vary around the world, and over time certain styles of cuckoldry have come in and out
of fashion. In the United States there is a rather uncomfortable association between cuckoldry
and inter-racial relationships. Personally I am not comfortable with this. It addresses stupid
stereotypes that belittle both black and white people alike. There are plenty of examples on the
Internet if you are into this, but it is outside the scope of this book, which deals with loving
relationships between intelligent human beings, whatever their race, creed, colour or physical
disability.

Feminization.

Many women like to feminize their men as part of the cuckolding process, as it helps accelerate
the humiliation process, makes a statement about the cuckolds inadequacy as a real man and re-
aligns their position within the marriage. Feminized men take on the role of the traditional wife,
or at least the role as assumed before feminism. There is such an exquisite irony here. Men are
being turned into the type of woman that women used to be. How hot is that.

Lorna:-

"It wasn't enough for me to simply cuckold my husband. Although I enjoyed humiliating him, and
watching him suffer, I wanted to increase my dominance over him in a way that was more
tangible, more visible. It amused me greatly, and made Chris, or Chrissie as I started to call him,
much easier to manage. It is difficult for Chrissie to get cross and upset when I come home in the
morning and he is locked up in a pink fairy dress with four inch glittery heels and pig-tails.

I also think that his feminization helped him to come to terms with his new life as a cuckold. It
gave him something to think about when I was gone. In fact it gave him a lot to do as well. I
would drive off and leave him with a long list of things to do whilst I was out. Not just domestic
duties, but various procedures on himself too. Poor Chrissie had a whole list of lovely things to
do. Painting his nails, shaving his legs, applying fake tan, plucking his eyebrows, experimenting
with make-up. It was all very time-consuming and very emasculating. I loved the idea that he
was at home applying lip-gloss whilst I was being fucked silly for the third time in a row by a
'real' man. It heightened my sexual pleasure, and made me feel so empowered."
Linda:-

"My husband wasn't allowed to have sex with me, or in fact have any sexual release. That was
the arrangement. He wanted me to control him, he wanted me to cuckold him, and when we
discussed it seriously he also wanted it to be real and permanent.

In the end we signed a Contract, a legal agreement between us. He gave over control of his life
to me and in return I thought it only fair to honour my end of the bargain (laughs). The
feminization came naturally after a few weeks. I was actually being very strict with him,
certainly much more controlling than I anticipated at the beginning. But for us it worked. He was
just so meek, so pliable, that I thought I could just go further and further. I was trying to find his
limits, to find his boundaries, but I just couldn't. He was a natural sub, accepting my boyfriends,
his chastity, my demands without complaint. I only noticed a chink in his armour when I asked
him to wear a simple frock one evening. He appeared to be reluctant, and I thought, aha, this
could be interesting.

He later admitted that my insistence that he became more feminine in my presence was really
hard for him, as he felt silly and humiliated. That really surprised me, to be honest, as I had
spent weeks sleeping around, teasing him about his tiny penis and generally belittling his
manhood. But wearing a dress, that was the button I needed to push, and it was from that
moment onwards that I really had him under my control.”

Chastity.

A fetish in it's own right, enforced chastity can be a very erotic power trip for both the husband
and wife. Within a D/s relationship it seems to work best when the wife assumes total control
over the amount of time she puts her husband into chastity, and takes total control of her
husbands orgasms, if any.

The phenomenon is growing exponentially throughout the western world. It has nothing at all to
do with preventing infidelity by the husband outside of the marriage as is often assumed by
people. It is an exchange of power, but more than that, it can result in heightened sexual pleasure
for both parties. In a nutshell, enforced chastity will make a man very frustrated, and he will over
time find himself in a state of almost constant sexual arousal, albeit that his penis is restricted
inside a cage, and therefore cannot reach full erection. This tends to lead him to be very attentive
to the needs of his wife, partly in the hope that he may be given some relief, but also because
men are very attentive to women prior to sex, but less so afterwards. Therefore the pre-sex
period, foreplay if you will, is extended from perhaps a few minutes, or hours if a meal is
involved beforehand, to several days or even months.

From the woman's perspective controlling her husbands orgasms is intensely rewarding. It leads
to feelings of great power and control and sex can be truly mind-blowing.
Clare:-

"I started to lock my husband up when I went on a date because I didn't like the idea of him
masturbating all over the house when I was making love with Jack (her lover). I wanted my
husband to be in a state of anxiety whilst I was away, and I felt that he was using masturbation
as way of relieving that anxiety. The point of cuckolding him, for me at least, was to control him
for my own sexual pleasure, not his. That was important to me.

It is funny really, I found that locking him up was almost as pleasurable as cuckolding him. In
fact in some respects it was even more fulfilling as I was combining his feelings of anxiety with
enforced sexual frustration. There was no release for his anxiety at my infidelity, and therefore
the suffering was more refined, sweeter actually.

We experimented a lot, but in the end I decided to keep him in chastity permanently, and to make
sure that this worked we opted for a Prince Albert piercing. (This is a piercing through the penis
which is then attached to the end of a restraining chastity device. As it invokes a physical
connection to the penis it is considered to be the most secure of all male chastity devices).

The idea that he will never have an orgasm again is incredibly satisfying for me. I milk him every
other month with a little stick thing that he keeps on the mantelpiece. I make him kneel on the
coffee table in front of me whilst I am watching television. I wiggle it around sometimes for up to
an hour until it all starts to dribble out. Then I make him lick it up and dismiss him from the
room. He hates being milked because it is so frustrating for him, as well as being unbelievably
humiliating.”

Peter:-

"Actually it was my idea in the first place. Annie wasn't at all sure, but came round to the idea. It
started off with just a few hours, but when my wife saw how much fun it was, and how much
nicer I became, she started to extend my periods of chastity to several days. Now the longest I
have been in locked up is 3 months, and she has promised to extend that even further still.

Annie raised the question of cuckolding me after about a year playing with enforced chastity. At
first it was just teasing talk. Telling me I wasn't any use to her locked up. That she loved how I
behaved when in chastity, but the cost to her was sexual frustration. Then she started to talk
about a guy at work, and how much he liked her. Eventually she asked whether I would mind if
she went out for a drink with him after work. I admit having a bit of an adrenalin rush, but I
thought, well, it only a drink, and why not.

When I agreed to this, I could see a change in Annie. It was as if I had given her some form of
permission, and she made a real meal about her 'date' as she started referring to it. Annie did
silly, unimportant l little things that, but they all added up. It was if she was deliberately trying to
make me uncomfortable. She wrote a note in our house diary: 'Date with Jim,' and put a big
cross on the calendar in the study. The weekend before her date she took me shopping and made
me stand outside the changing room while she tried on several different outfits, asking my
opinion. They we re all provocative, sexy, and completely different tithe clothes she usually wore.

After a few weeks her dates became more frequent, and my time in chastity got extended further
and further. Then she started to ask me if she could sleep with Jim. It was an extraordinary
moment. Her timing was impeccable. We had just come back from a lovely holiday, and were
both tanned and relaxed. She was very matter a fact about it, telling me that she really wanted
to, and so did Jim, and that it didn't mean she didn't love, far from it. She thought it would bring
us even closer together. Like the discussion over their first 'date', when I did finally agree Annie
perceived that I had given her permission to do far more than I thought I had agreed to.

I thought I had agreed to a carefully choreographed evening where Annie would keep in touch,
and then come home afterwards. I expected to talk it through carefully and to discuss our
emotions and decide whether this was right for us. Instead, Annie just turned into this distant
person, exchanging text messages with her lover, buying clothes and lingerie that she kept in our
spare room. It was as if our marriage now had lots of painful, unspoken secrets, and I was the
one being hurt. I tried to articulate my feelings, but Annie was having none of it. You agreed,
she kept saying. So now you just have to live with it. She was cruel, sarcastic even, but the
thought of her impending evening was unbelievably erotic. I am quite sure Annie knew this, and
similarly I could see how much she was enjoying this. Not only the thrill of a first date, but
watching the affect it was having on me."

Strap-on's.

Like enforced male chastity, the use of strap-on's within the cuckold community is currently very
fashionable. There are two broad areas of activity, so as to speak. The most common is where the
wife uses a strap-on to subjugate and emasculate her husband. This can be done in a number if
ways, but all revolve around the idea that he is being used like a woman, to reinforce her control
over him. A wife may make her husband suck her strap-on whilst on his knees, simulating oral
sex, or she may use the phallus to penetrate him, an activity sometimes referred to recently as
Pegging. Both activities have the same outcome. They make the wife feel more powerful, and the
husband more submissive.

A more recent development, which is widely employed within cuckoldry, is the substitution of
the male penis with a phallus, a strap-on that is worn by the husband, whilst his real penis is
restrained underneath. What makes this so mind-bending, so erotic, is the emotional affect it has
on both parties.

Clare (again):-
"Then the fun really started. I would come home from a weekend away with my lover and Tom
would be so attentive, desperate to please me, and to receive some degree of affection and
attention. I invested in a strap-on that attached to the front of his chastity device and I would
then order him to come to bed. There is nothing, I repeat nothing, as fantastic as being fucked by
your husband without him participating in the act at all sexually. I love having an orgasm on his
dildo. I can see in his eyes his frustration, his feelings of inadequacy, his pain, but underneath all
of that I can see that he is actually loving every minute of it, and because he can't come, he
remains turned on right up to the point that we fall asleep, and when we wake again in the
morning. It hurts him on so many different levels, and it utterly confirms my control over him. It
is too perfect for words actually.

But still I want to go further. I want him to become more and more feminine and I want to
prevent him from having erections without a restraint. It will be a long haul, but we have already
started a regime of hormone treatment and his libido is definitely reducing. Oh and he is
developing the cutest little breasts. Life can be so sweet."

More and more women are taking the next step from using a vibrator on themselves as an aid to
masturbation, and the most expensive ones have now become pretty sophisticated, to using a
strap-on attached to their husbands.

Polly:-

"It's the next step, I guess, using your husband as a living vibrator. It took quite a while for
vibrators to become mainstream. I mean it wasn't that long ago that many men thought that
women didn't have orgasms, they just laid back and thought of England, as the saying goes.
There role simply to satisfy their husband’s needs and to procreate the next generation for the
glory of the Empire. Now they are everywhere, even on supermarket shelves. Women masturbate,
let's celebrate the fact.

But women also like company, the tactile and emotional connection with men, but not necessarily
their silly little willies. My friends started to discuss this, and to think about the ways you could
combine the two. A big fat hard strap-on, and all those delicious caresses, cuddles and kisses
from a loving husband. What could be better, and the icing on the cake is the affect this has on
your husband. His penis hurts, his pride hurts, his self-esteem is crushed, he is completely
controlled by his wife entirely for her pleasure. I can fuck whom I like, but my husband cannot
fuck anyone. His role as a man in the traditional sense is completely redundant. He serves me,
pleasures me, entirely at his expense. It honestly is the best sex ever. If I could distill our cuckold
life together into one exquisite act it would be when my husband fucks me with a strap-on. I
honestly couldn't go back to a normal relationship again, I mean absolutely no way."

Confinement.
The psychological affect of confinement, any confinement, can be huge. Combined with some
form of external stressor, that affect can be multiplied many times. If you take away
environmental stimulants, sight, sound, the ability to assess the time of day (or night) the mind
concentrates on that external stress, and the importance of that issue intensifies in the confined
person's mind.

In the world of cuckoldry confinement is, to date, a fairly minor aspect, but there is a growing
interest as both husbands and wives see how quickly it can enhance the experience, particularly
for the husband.

Harriet:-

"My husband is great at DIY and raised the question of building a room which could be used for
punishment sessions. We had been in the D/s scene on and off for a number of years and when in
the mood had often wondered whether it could be more fun if we had a specific 'place' to go
within our home, rather than just the bedroom or at the various ad hoc club nights that we
attended locally.

In the end he built a small room in our garden shed, only about 8ft by 8 ft, with a steel lattice
roof for air and a door. It was very basic, but that wasn't the point. It was somewhere that I
could take him to, and either tie him up, or just lock him in when I had other things to do.
Occasionally we would have little punishment sessions within the room, but after a while it
became more a place he didn't want to go to, rather than somewhere that he associated with
sexual pleasure, albeit as a submissive. A place to reflect and be punished. It was also a
convenient place to 'park' him when my boyfriends came round."

Gregory:-

"About a year after I had been cuckolded the relationship I had with my wife had changed
completely. We were still very much in love, perhaps more than ever, but the definition of a
husband had changed profoundly for both of us. In her eyes a husband was a loyal and
hardworking companion, there to give emotional support, to contribute significantly to running
the domestic side of the household and to be obedient. I too had completely changed my self-
perception of what a husband meant. I increasingly saw myself as submissive to my wife, and
found that I was desperate to seek her approval in everything I did.

Lyn told me once that I was a little bit like a dog. I was loveable, loyal, great to have around,
licked up scraps from the floor (her way of saying I was useful around the house) and generally
made her happy. But like all dogs, there were times when it was inconvenient to have me around.
She told me that, like a dog, she didn't want to take me to a restaurant, or on holiday, or to the
bedroom when she was making love. She loved me, but like an owner loves a dog. After a lot of
discussion she asked me to make her a kennel, a place she could leave me when it was
inconvenient to have me around.

To my mind this kennel was more like a safe deposit box or a depository, somewhere she could
lock me up in when I was surplus to requirements. I set about building a small room in our
cellar, which I made out of a steel frame with a really solid steel door I bought from a scrap
yard. It was incredibly secure. I painted it bright pink with the words Jewellery Box on the
outside. It excited me to be reduced to the role of an inanimate object, a bracelet or a ring, that
could be locked up for long periods and then taken out when required.

Over the years I have been escorted to my wife’s ‘safe’ both by my wife and on some occasions
by both my wife and her lover. A typical scenario is to greet her boyfriend, engage in polite
conversation, serve them drinks and then when the moment comes I am taken down to the
kennels before my presence becomes in any way awkward. It is both practical and extremely
erotic. Recently my wife has intensified the humiliation by buying me an old ball-gown or
wedding dress from a charity shop and dressing me in it before her boyfriend arrives. The
feelings I have being escorted firmly down to the basement, my skirts swishing around my ankles
is truly exquisite. I feel like the fairy in a musical box."
7. Participation.

The extent to which cuckolded men are engaged in their wives extra-marital relationships varies
greatly between couples, and is a matter of personal taste. For some husbands the anxiety/thrill
of not knowing what is happening (or when) can be a much more intense feeling than sitting on
the edge of the bed watching the actual act of copulation itself. At the other extreme some wives
love it when they can make eye contact with their husband during love making (sometimes
bound up in a humiliating way) and watch how they react as they are driven to orgasm by their
chosen stud. The middle ground can include the husband meeting and greeting their wives
lovers, but not being present during any form of intimate contact, or only being present before
and after the event.

Caroline:-

"I definitely don't want my husband present when I am making love. That is an intimate and
personal experience between my boyfriend and I, but I do want him to know when we are
together and to be present before and after the act. To make this practical it is generally better
for my boyfriend to visit me at home. In that way my husband can get on with his household
chores during our lovemaking sessions and can conveniently be dismissed beforehand and
summoned to the bedroom afterwards.

There is definitely a difference, albeit subtle, between the humiliation he feels prior to our
sessions and afterwards. During our foreplay he is embarrassed by our flirtation, and this makes
him shy and bashful. Afterwards, well the act has taken place, so the humiliation tends to be
slightly less intense. This is a time when I feel relaxed and satisfied, and gentle teasing comes
quite naturally. When this goes really well I can get Rob (her husband) into a real sub-space
where he says things like he hopes we had a lovely time, or where he thanks my lover for making
love to his me, and tells him how happy he is that I can now be properly satisfied by a real man.
We sometimes cuddle up in bed and listen to him as he tries to win us over, it really is terribly
sweet."

Jackie:-

"For me, it works best when my husband is involved in helping me prepare for my dates. I like
him to take the initiative here, and go the extra mile to ensure that my date is going to be extra
special. I tell him to think about the evening from my perspective, what would really make things
exciting for me. I just love that.

He has to go through a ritual, changing the sheets on our bed, cleaning the room, filling it with
flowers, putting condoms on his pillow and lubricant jelly under mine. I make him choose
something sexy to wear in bed and hang it up behind the bedroom door. All of this thrills me. I
want him to be excited, to look forward to the event, albeit that his experience is entirely
vicarious.

After the event I give him detailed feedback. I deliberately restrict my comments to the effort that
he put in. Was the room nicely prepared, did he chill the wine properly, was he genuinely
courteous when my lover arrived, did he make him feel at home and relaxed. If I feel that he
didn't come up to an acceptable standard he gets a sound spanking. If he has pleased me then I
tell him so, but let him know that he will have to try even harder next time, as it will become
increasingly harder for him to impress me. As long as I can keep him constantly anxious,
constantly unsure and constantly confused then I am happy."

For others participation is an important part of the experience for both parties, and can be pretty
extreme. The central aim is to intensify the humiliation of the husband, to add to his mental
torment and let him witness the enjoyment that his wife is experiencing in the arms of someone
who is a much better lover than he is. It can involve simple voyeurism, actual participation in the
sex act, albeit generally in a humiliating way and not involving penetrative sex, or an act of
bondage where the husband is restrained and made to witness the act whilst his wife and/or her
lover tease or humiliate him in some other way.

Jennifer:-

"I introduced my husband to the idea of him watching us because I felt he was getting used to
being a cuckold. He had become comfortable with my infidelity and I wanted him to be
uncomfortable with it. Sometimes I think it is plain necessary to up the game in order to
reinforce my control over him. After all, part of the reason I cuckolded him in the first place was
to exert my authority over him, and make him more submissive towards me. If he started to get
comfortable with the idea, or heavens forbid started to enjoy himself, then I definitely needed to
do something about that.

It started simply enough. I would order him to sit quietly on a chair in the corner of the room
and watch. We ignored him at first, but after a few sessions it was fun to make eye contact, and
even to tell him how much better my lover was. I could see how difficult this was for him, but to
his credit he never turned away, or walked out.

These days it has become even more extreme. My boyfriend and I dress him in stockings and a
bra, and tie him in a star shape at the bottom of the bed, his arms tied to each side of the four-
poster bed at the top and his legs to the bottom. He is totally at our mercy, restrained of course,
and with a big fat butt plug up his pretty ass. Sometimes I am on all fours right in front of him,
my hair tickling his balls whilst I am being fucked senseless from behind. It is difficult to express
how satisfying is to cum right in front of him whilst he hangs there helpless and humiliated.
Perhaps I am not that subtle a person, or perhaps I just love being a heartless bitch. The jury is
out I guess."
8. The joy of domination: a woman's perspective.

From an outsiders perspective the fulfillment a woman gets from cuckolding her husband is
sometimes difficult to understand. Women relate to men in a different way than men relate to
women. They like monogamous relationships. They associate sex with a loving loyal partner, not
with extra-marital relationships. Certainly that is the case with some women, but for an
increasing minority, the new age of female assertiveness has brought with it a desire for women
to express themselves sexually. Women don't dance around their handbags waiting for a boy to
approach them anymore. They are more likely to be snogging a girlfriend right in front of a
group of poor hapless chaps or leading a boy back to their car for sex on their own terms.

Greta:-

"It is difficult more me to exaggerate the sea change that has occurred in women's attitude to
sex. They are much more assertive than men these days, strutting their sexuality around in a way
that men wouldn't dare. They also say things to and about men that would be completely
unacceptable coming from a man. Men just take it. They have been silenced by a wave of social
conditioning, partly from equality legislation, partly from the feminist movement as it has
evolved and partly from the influence of political correctness. This has emasculated men and
empowered women and it is getting worse and worse (or better and better) depending on your
viewpoint.

Over the last ten years even the advertising industry has jumped on the bandwagon, portraying
men as idiots and women as confident, successful role models. No wonder women are having
such a great time in the twenty -first century."

Even traditionally mainstream women are warming to this change, and realizing that they can
have a lot of fun at the expense of the men in their lives. Men are seeking solace where they can.
Apart from a few alpha males the vast majority of men are finding different ways to express
themselves in an attempt to find a meaning to their lives.

Paul:-

Thousands of men are desperately trying to find ways to feel better about themselves. The easiest
option, and I think where the future lies, is for men to stop fighting these changes in society, but
rather accept that they are the second sex now, and adapt their behaviour with women
accordingly. When my wife started to feminize me as part of my pre-training before she
cuckolded me I was amazed at how huge the feminization industry had become. A couple of
clicks with a mouse and there are hundreds of sites offering advice, clothes, make-up, jewellery,
voice coaching, deportment classes, everything to help men find their feminine side. After a few
months I felt more comfortable dressed and behaving like a woman, and so did my wife. I
changed everything. The way I walked, how I sat in a chair, my hair, my voice, even the car I
drove. My wife just loved it, and so did I. I don 't have any male clothes at all now.
A friend asked me the other day if I was going to have a sex change. I laughed. Of course not, I
said. I am a man, it is just that I think that a man should be feminine, all men, that is the future. It
will take time, but I really hope that in my lifetime I see a complete reversal in the relationship
between men and women."

Helen:-

"To me discovering my dominant side was bit like discovering how nice oysters were. They didn't
look very nice, and it was years before I finally tried one. Now I regularly order a dozen in a
restaurant and I complete adore them. They are my favourite food.

Being dominant in my marriage never occurred to me. To be honest we were pretty vanilla in
everything we did in bed, and were pretty normal in our every day life. It was only when my
husband started to talk about his submissive feelings that I even thought about it. That was ten
years ago. Now, I am a completely different person. I am a selfish, demanding bitch and expect
my husband to do exactly as I tell me, all of the time, without question. It is so empowering. I
take every opportunity I can to dominate him, and his life is now pretty much completely run by
me. He doesn't take any meaningful decisions, is constantly busy undergoing chores I have set
him, and if he falls short of my expectations he is severely punished.

All this is achieved quietly and without any embellishments. I don’t wear leather cat suits or
whatever. I dress as a normal woman, even in a slightly frumpy way. I love the fact that I can
completely dominate my husband in a very domestic setting. It intensifies the whole thing for me.

I guess it isn't really a marriage anymore, but rather I own my husband. My husband is my slave
and does what I tell him. There is no question of it ever being any different and we are both
closer than ever and incredibly happy. We are both living our dream life now, and I never want
it to end. As for sex, well that is perfect too. Only it isn't with my husband anymore, that would
be ridiculous for both of us."

After centuries of subjugation, women are at last now emerging as the superior sex, and the
beautiful irony is that this has been caused by a change in society aimed at giving women equal
rights to men. They have achieved that, and with that equality comes competition on equal terms,
and that is where women are winning in almost every single way, and there is nothing men can
do about it. They have to take the secondary role, and adapt their behaviour in a way that women
find acceptable.

Carol:-

"Practically all my friends have cuckolded and feminized their husbands now, and we all use the
same website to find partners. This works really well as we can make recommendations to each
other, which helps keep the quality up. It is also incredibly amusing when we tease our
husbands, as we can openly discuss having sex with the same man whilst our husbands cower in
the corner listening to our exploits. It adds an exquisite edge to the humiliation as it is collective.
All our husbands are inadequate, and that is just the way it is. They accept it much more readily
knowing that it isn't just one of them, but it is still deeply embarrassing.

I think I have had some my most exciting power rushes when the girls are together humiliating
our husbands in this way. The next stage is to start to introduce our husbands to each other as
potential sex partners. None of them are gay, but these days they look so pretty, and they are just
so frustrated, that it just seems to us the natural next step. At the moment hey must hold hands
nicely during our girly evenings or they get taken outside for a spanking. I can’t wait
personally."
9. Final thoughts.

At it's best cuckolding a husband can be a deeply rewarding experience, but getting it right takes
a great deal of effort, mutual understanding and trust between the parties. The essential
ingredients are a loving and stable relationship between the husband and wife, a desire by both
parties to enter into this new lifestyle and a the right balance between a dominant wife and a
submissive husband.

If any of these key elements are missing then cuckoldry will not work. Like a fine wine, there are
lots of subtle elements that together can create something truly wonderful and rewarding, but if
something is missing then it is just bad grape juice.

Couples need to understand that cuckoldry is not a game either. It has consequences that
continue long after the simple act of copulation outside of marriage. Emotions can run high, and
handled incorrectly people can get hurt. I would say that for the vast majority cuckoldry is not
right. Try a little mild D/s first. See if you are both comfortable with an exchange of power. It is
not what you do so much as the way you feel. Do you like being put over your wife's knee? Do
you like spanking your husband? Does nagging your husband thrill you? If that works, and you
can both honestly and openly agree that it is exciting, then you may have what it takes to go
further.

But cuckoldry should be seen as a fairly extreme form of D/s. A husband is deliberately putting
himself into a position where he is going to be both hurt and challenged emotionally. He has to
be able to get off on the anguish and emotional torment that his wife's infidelity causes him. This
requires him to be an inherently submissive person, with at least some masochistic tendencies. If
you are not like that, again this is not for you. If you are a very jealous or possessive person,
again think about this very carefully. There is absolutely no point getting angry or upset. This is
supposed to be a happy and rewarding experience for both parties. If you can't handle the angst
and it isn't going to thrill you, then clearly you shouldn't even be thinking about it.

Again, as a wife, don't do this to fulfill your husband's fantasy. That is just plain wrong, and this
could leave you feeling both dirty and used. Further if you are turned on by dominant alpha men,
and millions of women are, then this may not be for you. You have to love being in control, and
to enjoy humiliating your husband. The sex is only part of it, and you can probably achieve that
within your own marriage if you and your husband put some effort into changing your approach.
You have to enjoy the exchange of power, and moreover, be able to handle that in a way that
increases the pleasure for both of you. You are in charge here, remember, your husband is being
dominated by you, so the responsibility is yours.
However, if the idea if cuckoldry is hot for both of you, if you see yourself as a hot wife, a
dominant bitch, totally in control of your husband and your own sex life, then this could be the
most rewarding experience of your life. Similarly, if as a man you want to experience this level
of control and humiliation, if you are truly submissive, then this is going to give you a sub-rush
that it is almost impossible to describe. If you truly want to be controlled, then being cuckolded
is the ultimate end game. Metaphorically it will tie you up and whip you continuously, turning
you into a submissive little bitch who stands by why his wife cheats on you with the absolute
intention of humiliating and degrading you for her own personal pleasure.

Enjoy!
The Author.

Kitty Williams is a writer of erotic fiction, keen cyclist, dominating and loving wife, control
freak, festival goer, gardener, traveller, part-time Dominatrix and accomplished violinist. She
lives quietly in the English countryside with an obedient husband, a disobedient cat and a
collection of paddles and canes in regular use.