06/14Spoiler

alert!
LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU
DON’T WANT TO KNOW
WHAT’S IN THE ISSUE.

She’s eyeing you, buddy p04 What time is it? p34

Work that look! p20 The fall guy p60

The black album p24 The 10 who made it p58 Blondes have more fun p84

ACCESS GEAR FEATURES FILTER

10 COUNTDOWN 18 OPENER 40 COVER GIRLS 80 TV
The most chilling phrases Things to look out for Best friends Cordelia and Fishing is tough business.
in the English language — before you get inked; plus Amanda share bikini and
and why they’ll make your sailors’ tattoos explained. ice-cream but not men. So, 82 MUSIC
hair stand. dream on, guys. Okay to be Blur.
22 STYLE SNIPS
12 ESSAYS FOR MAN What’s hot in men’s fashion. 50 ROMCOM YOUR 83 TV
You’re surround by people, LOVE LIFE Who better than Bond?
so why are you still feeling 26 OPINION Don’t sneer — romantic
lonely? FHM investigates. Baller behaviour: The ladies comedies hold the key to 85 COMEDY
tell you what they think. super-charging your love We love stereotypes!
12 WIN AT LIFE life. You just need to look in
Game of Thrones: Why it 36 HOT METAL the right places. 86 SPORTS
could be the greatest TV The gadgets that’ll get you Hard game.
show ever — after Mind through life. 68 SEX AND TECH
Your Language, of course. Your love life’s an app and 86 MUSIC
38 TRIED & TESTED it’s in need of an update. Pooside radio.
16 COOL MATERIALS Britain’ wildest band puts Here are the dos and don’ts
It’s that time of the year fitness trackers to the test. of romance in the age of 86 BOOKS
again — time to mask up. Just how do they do it? Skype sex and saucy selfies. Reading is good for you.

06/14 001
 EVERYTHING
A MAN NEEDS. Managing Director Jessie Sng
VP, Business Development & Operations Lesley Ngai

Editorial
Consultant Corinne Ng

AND MORE.
Editor Dennis Yin
Writer Janine Lee
Editorial Administrator Farlinzah Mahmood

Art Desk
Associate Creative Director Joan Lim
Associate Art Director Dannii Choo
Senior Designer Pyron Tan
Stylist Cheryl Chan

E D ITO R’S LETTE R... Subs Desk

Chief Sub-Editor Jerena Ng
What a roller-coaster year it has Executive Sub-Editor Heidi Yeo
Top 10 ! been so far: Pussy fever rages on, Senior Sub-Editors Tan Wei Lin, Caroline Francis

albeit in a different (cyber) space

Creative Services
SINGAPORE’S
ORE’S’S’S BBEST
JUNE 2014 $6.00
6.00
EST
EST
ES
ST SSELL
SELLING
EELL
LLIING
INNNGG ME
MEN
MEN’
M
MEN’S
EEN
EN’NN’’S M
MA
MAGAZINE!
AGAZI
AGAZI
GAZI
AZIINE
NEE!!
NE!
NE when new Hello Kitty plushies forced Editor Michelle Bong
McDonald’s to suspend online sales 80 Senior Writer Chin Chih Lin
Senior Designers Karen Chng, Lindy Tay
minutes after it went “live”; not a
single Man U player made it onto the Photography
SAUCY PFA Team of the Year list (the first Executive Photographer Ealbert Ho
SELFIES time since 1990); and MH370 is, sadly, Senior Photographer Kelvin Chia
& E-FLIRTS still missing.
Photographers Hong Chee Yan, Mark Lee
HOW TECH
IS CHANGING
YOUR SEX On a brighter note: High fives all Contributors
LIFE
around when Pharrell Williams Gladys Goh, FHM UK, Avenue, Mannequin, Looque, Diva Models, Phan-
tom, Upfront Models and Eleganz. We worked very hard to get the sto-
revealed he once considered passing ries done, organise the shoots for you to enjoy. There’s no need to read
Happy to another singer but this section — just flip the page and enjoy the rest of the magazine.
eventually kept it for himself; Adidas
ROMCOM and Nike released their versions of Advertising
YOUR the revolutionary high-top football
Head, Group Sales & Marketing Irene Lim

LOVE LIFE boots; and our FHM Models contest

Vice President Stephanie Tay
LEAN ON HER Assistant Vice President Derek Tan
SERENADE HER Senior Account Directors Xylia Lim, Priscilla Lim
TEACH HER reaches a new high with the unveiling Account Director Celine Sim Szkon
FROM BEHIND
PAGEANT RIVALS, ENGINEER
of the Top 10 finalists. Senior Account Managers Garant Pang Chee Seng,
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! CONFLICT So here’s a toast to good times with Calvin Wan, Tan Mui Kian
Account Manager Clara Chan
our “sexy matters” special — we show

#188
Associate Account Manager Porter Christopher Andre Jin Xiang
you how to spice up your love life Assistant Account Manager Charmian Choo
like a romantic comedy and make Senior Admin Executive Elaina Poh

your own sexy movies. Plus, what

Ad Admin
could be fantastically better than Vice President Angela Chia
CORDELIA LOW & AMANDA TOH putting twins on the cover? Put two Senior Manager Anne Hong
CORDELIA (LEFT) WEARS LYCRA BFFs on it. Assistant Manager Brenda Chong
POLKA-DOT BIKINI TOP, BY ETAM.
AMANDA (RIGHT) WEARS LYCRA Still in a celebratory mood, our
Marketing & Events
GINGHAM BIKINI TOP, BY ETAM. GOLD flip-side Upgrade turns thirst- Senior Executive Trina Lee
NECKLACE, BY TOPSHOP. ART DIRECTION: quencher bible, as we list down Admin Executive Chong Lilin
DANNII CHOO; PHOTOGRAPHY: JOEL LOW;
STYLING: CHERYL CHAN; ART DIRECTION various ways to enjoy your tipple
ASSISTANCE: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY (bottoms up not an option). Circulation
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Enjoy what you’re holding now and
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For enquiries:
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002 06/14
 IT’S
GREAT
TO BE
A MAN

WHO
SHE?
Age: 25
From: Singapore
Likes: Exotic food;
swimming at night;
challenging people
in drinking;
staying at home.
Dislikes: Dirt; guys
who are oily; waking up
early in the morning;
last-minute changes.
Twitter:
@jojo_lai
Instagram:
@jojo_lai

008
004 06/14
THE WILD
CARD
We cozy up with doll-eyed Jojo Lai and uncover what’s
beneath her sweet exterior.
Talent

Words Gladys Goh Art direction Pyron Tan Photography Hong Chee Yan Styling Cheryl Chan

COTTON TANK TOP, BY GAP. LYCRA BRA, BY

TRIUMPH. LYCRA PANTIES, BY GAP BODY.
CANVAS SNAPBACK, BY JOYRICH FROM
ACTUALLY.

HAIR: HAIRDO@WATERLOO CENTRE;

MAKEUP: MICHELLE CHIN/9154-0169 USING
MAKE UP FOR EVER; MODEL: JOJO/ELEGANZ;
LOCATION: TANG MUSIC BOX KARAOKE.
 ACCESS
You have reareally long hair. Has any
Talent
guy ever cacalled you Rapunzel and
asked you to let down your hair?
No one hahas said that to me but there
are occasi
occasions where guys play with
my hair a and tell me that I smell really
good — eveven though I don’t have any
perfume o on, or after a basketball game
or barbecu
barbecue. I guess it’s the shampoo
scent that lingers in my hair.
How would you respond to this pick-
up line: “Is that the sun rising or is
that just you lighting up my world?”
Oh my… I’d probably roll my eyes, say
thank you and goodbye. Cheesy
pick-up lines don’t work on me.
If you were invited to a costume
party, what would you go as?
I don’t usually turn up in something
that’s trendy or pretty. Once for a
Halloween party, I went dressed up as
a fork! So maybe I’d come in a sexy
and hot costume like Catwoman.
Do you prefer nice guys or bad boys?
I always think that I fall for the nice
guys but my friends always say that I
would fall for bad boys instead! I
definitely want a nice guy, though.
What’s the most unforgettable
date you’ve been on?
Once, a guy brought me on a date and
made me decide what movie to watch.
Not being the type of girl who would
say “anything”, I picked a horror title
because I’m a huge horror fan.
Halfway into it, he started freaking
out and became quite jumpy
beside me. We stopped
contacting each other
after that.
What keeps you up
at night?
I believe I belong
to the night so
hanging out
with friends
keeps me up at
night. Normally,
we’d go to a pub,
chill and have a
couple of drinks.
Are you a beer or
cocktails person?
I prefer cocktails. I'm
also a fast drinker and I
like my drinks with a
higher alcohol level.
What’s your secret talent?
Shocking people with my
actions. I’m the kind of person
who will do whatever I want to.
I’m really daring; sometimes it
makes me feel I’m more a man than a
girlie girl.
And the craziest thing you’ve done?
I was dared by friends to get the
phone number of a random girl. She
was alone when I went up to get her
number. She was shocked and just
stared at me. I got rejected! FHM COTTON BRA, BY CHALONE.
LYCRA THONG, BY TRIUMPH.

006 06/14
 ACCESS

“ GUYS LIKE TO
PLAY WITH MY
HAIR AND TELL
ME THAT I SMELL
REALLY GOOD.”

CANVAS SNAPBACK,
BY NEW ERA, FROM
LIMITED EDT. COTTON
HENLEY, BY GAP.
COTTON BRA, BY
SLOGGI. STRIPED
COTTON PANTIES, BY
GAP BODY.

008 06/14
 NOW OPEN
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 ACCESS
than blurting out random
body areas: “Fringe?
Nails? Booty?”

03
“Your card has
NINE MOST CHILLING PHRASES IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE. been declined.”
Unlikely: You only got paid
all fiiine, and her period is 10 days ago. But then you
just temporarily wonked- do some mental arithmetic:
out from all that Sambuca Your phone bill just came
at the weekend. But that out, plus payment for that
doesn’t stop you picturing loan you’ve got, you filled
yourself surrounded by the car up on Sunday,
screaming quintuplets, with football channel,
cack-filled nappies as far as conservancy charges... Oh,
the eye can see. what the #%*!, you really
are skint. Off home with

06
“There is a train-service
you then, to spend the next
20 days surviving on
out-of-date pickled radish
breakdown between Ang from the darkest recesses of
Mo Kio and Raffles the cupboard.
Place stations...”
No lengthy MRT train
journey is complete without
a mind-destroying
02
“Oh, s**t. My ex!”
distruption that requires It’s not much fun having
you to exit your prime seat; your girlfriend squint
drag your a**e to a snaking across a crowded room and
bus queue; board a packed- then enthusiastically
like-sardines and BO- chirrup, “Heeyy! It’s my ex!”
scented bus; and be driven a as if he’s swooping
distance that is lined with in to rescue her from
traffic lights. Damn: When your boring, droning-on
will the COE ever go down? presence. Far worse,
however, is having her

05
“It’s ringing — wait, it’s
quietly murmur, “Oh, s**t.
My ex!” — a surefire sign
that you’re about to be
“Can you, er, just step into my office?” gone to voicemail...” parachuted into the middle
Mislaid your phone on a of a very heated, awkward
As you make that torturously slow journey boozy night out? Got your situation. And if things
to your boss’s Fortress of Solitude, you mate to call it for you, in turn nasty, you’ll be duty-
know the best-case scenario is a high-impact the hope it’s hiding behind a bound to step in and defend
yelling and a warning. The worst? nearby cushion? And he your woman’s honour, at
He shoots you dead, so that no other says it’s ringing? Then it which point everything
swiftly goes to voicemail? starts going downhill
company need ever be infected with your It’s been nicked. You may like a burning bus with
catastrophic incompetence. begin the grieving process. no brakes...

04 01
08
“What the hell is this in
session: Ladyboys,
lactating MILFs, BBWs
performing DPs and
*Sigh*. “You didn’t even
notice, did you?”
You may think you and
“Erm… did you
just finish?”
You’ve let the lady down
your browser history?” ATMs... What’s wrong with your girlfriend have been but, most of all, you’ve let
You may think you’re you, you pervy b*****d? enjoying a pleasant yourself down.
smart, with your discreet conversation since she

07
WORDS: JOE MADDEN, PHOTO: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

windows and your cookie arrived 43 minutes ago, but

deletions, but your filthy no: She’s been secretly
porn habit will always “I’m late.” seething away the whole
come back and bite you on You haven’t truly achieved time, growing ever more
the a**e. Your girlfriend manhood until you’ve enraged by your total
only borrowed your laptop dealt with the knuckle- self-involvement and
for a second to e-mail her biting terror that comes waning physical attraction
mum, but now she’s with a sexual partner to her. You’re in a tight
wading through the toxic telling you her monthly spot, so make sure you fully
porn-waters of last night’s doodahs are somewhat look her over to ascertain
one-man lovemaking overdue. Chances are it’s what the change is, rather

010 06/14
VOL 18 ON SALE NOW!
THE G

THE G

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F NEG IS
FHM
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FHM
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CILAL
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ME 18

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18

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STUSNN
TUNIN
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$9.8$0
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NO REVIEWS. NO FEATURES. NO STORIES.

JUST STUNNING WOMEN, VERY FEW WORDS.

GET YOUR COPY NOW!

 Essays for
Men

ARE WE
‘GENERATION LONELY’?
We’re all friendless now — so you might as well embrace it.

One of the many things that’s made True friendship go through various ups and downs is so
Detective (above) the most gripping TV show satisfying and — f**k it, we’ll say it — heart-warming.
of 2014 is the insightful way it’s depicted a Mismatched (but touching) bromances are everywhere
friendship between two complex men across a in popular culture right now: You can hardly move for
17-year period. Within the first few minutes of chalk-and-cheese guys gazing into each other’s eyes,
episode one, it was clear that detectives Rust Cohle and croaking, “Seriously, thanks, man” (“No, thank you, dude”)
Marty Hart were, personality-wise, complete polar then joke-sparring each other before caving in to raw
opposites, which is why watching their dysfunctional emotion and ruggedly hugging. Think Tyrion and Bronn

012 06/14
 few of us would ever admit as much. With
mental-health problems now less of a taboo
than they were 20 years ago, many men will
freely admit to struggling with depression,
anxiety, addiction or anger issues. But
loneliness? Nope. Loneliness is pitiful and
embarrassing, and there’s a feeling that the
lonely have probably somehow brought it
upon themselves, either by being too weird,
or too much of a wanker, or some life-
decimating combination of the two.
To compound the problem, from 30-ish
onwards, you start shedding more friends
on Game of Thrones; Rick and Daryl on The than you gain. It happens so slowly that
Walking Dead (above); Kirk and Spock in the you barely notice it at first, but then it dawns Fig. 1
Star Trek movies; Trevor and Michael in GTA V on you: You haven’t seen so-and-so in over Of course, it all started with these guys.
(fig.1). But why is there such a demand for six months, or thingybob since 2011, or
depictions of man-on-man mateship right whatshisface since his wedding. People you
now? Could it be because the real thing once shared a kopitiam table with become no
is in increasingly short supply? more than strangers occasionally popping up
It’s one of the great unacknowledged truths on your Facebook feed. And only a weirdo
of 21st-century life that most men are slowly would attempt to revive a casual friendship by
but surely edging their way towards loner re-contacting a long-lost acquaintance −
status, often without even noticing. Between because who wants to appear lonely, right?
our mid-teens and late-20s, most of us enjoy To a certain extent, this has always been
pretty expansive social circles, largely thanks the way of things. As young men, our dads
to spending hefty chunks of our time and and grandads settled down, started families
money “socialising” (boozing in bars). But and stopped ladding it up until last orders
even during this decade-long piss-up period, every night, and their social lives quietened
research shows that, on average, modern down as a result. But in 2014, men’s
men have just two “true” friends (down from friend-circles are shrinking faster and more Fig. 2
three 25 years ago) — and even these close irreparably than ever before. This bloke can’t help you either. A 1990
relationships don’t provide the kind of So where are our bros vanishing to? Well, German study discovered religious belief
emotional support we’re all secretly yearning some are swallowed up by work, chasing their had little or no effect on loneliness.
for (fig.2). careers at the expense of their social lives
US psychologist Geoffrey Greif has spent (fig.3). Others move away: While previous
his career studying male friendships, and generations stayed put in the neighbourhoods
found that while women have “face-to-face” they grew up in, we now go where the work is
relationships with each other (they talk — and that might mean overseas. Others have
a lot), men have “shoulder-to-shoulder” their attention consumed by kids: While
relationships — in other words, they “do stuff” Singapore has yet to catch on to this
together, with a minimal amount of chit-chat. new-age parenting concept, figures show
You know what it’s like: If you’re craving social there are 10 times the number of stay-at-
interaction and fancy seeing your mate, it’d be home dads in the UK as there were a decade
beyond weird if you texted him suggesting ago, and you’ll be lucky to keep any of them
you “pop round for a chat” or “catch up over awake past 9.30pm. Others give up drinking,
a coffee” There needs to be some kind of get a strict girlfriend, or get helplessly
task involved, whether that’s playing ball, addicted to an MMORPG (fig.4).
hitting the gym or simply meeting up to So how do you replenish your buddies
get hammered. list? Well, why not follow the True Detective Fig. 3
This arm’s-length distance between male method and seek out a guy who’s the Half of workers in Singapore spend over
pals may simply seem like the natural order of absolute antithesis of everything you’re about eight hours a day at the office and 50 per
things, but a study by psychologist Professor — the Rust Cohle to your Marty Hart (or vice cent regularly take work home to finish in
Brant Burleson found that the truth is, men versa, depending on whether you’re more the evening.
crave intimacy in their friendships just as “fanny-rat extrovert” or “ball of existential
much as women. They want to be able to fury”). Once you’ve found this mirror-image
confide in their buddies, to lean on them for man, befriend him with all your might –
support — they just won’t openly admit it. because even though you’re going to drive
Burleson discovered that when men did have each other f**king mental, he’s gonna be the
someone they could unload their stresses greatest pal you ever had.
WORDS: FHM UK. PHOTOS: HBO ASIA & TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

and strains on, in most cases that confidant Head down a bar — that’s where you’ll find
was female — a girlfriend or wife. Many single him. The guy who screws his face up when
men, then, have nobody they can talk to you request your favourite song from the
about their dark s**t. staff? The guy who orders a drink you
Predictably, this gap between what we want wouldn’t use as drain-cleaner? The guy
from our bros and what we actually get is whose laugh makes your teeth itch? That’s
leaving many of us feeling crushingly lonely. A yer man. March over there and introduce
study by the University of Chicago found that yourself to your brand-new BFF. Fig. 4
a staggering 20 per cent of modern men are The first digital-addiction centre opened in
suffering levels of loneliness that could be Catch True Detective this June on HBO On 2013. The biggest reason for admittance?
described as “chronic and severe”. Of course, Demand (StarHub Ch 602). Too much World of Warcraft-style action.

06/14 013
 The Hound’s
helmet, $375.

Hand of the
King pin, $25.

Khaleesi robe,
$63.

Daenerys
figure, $44.
Jon Snow
figure, $44.
Cersei Lannister
necklace,$88.

Baratheon
tee, $38.

Dragon Egg
paperweight, $75. Lunchbox, $21.

014 06/14
 Win at
GET INTO Life!

GAME OF
THRONES
...But maybe not as much as this guy.

When Professor Susan Johnston’s course illegally downloaded TV series of all time.
in “Victorian masculinity” was facing the chop The size and reach of Game of Thrones’
at Canada’s University of Regina, her fandom gave Professor Johnston an idea. “I
Targaryen ring, teaching days appeared to be numbered. At pitched a course to the uni that I could
$59. the same time, Game of Thrones was guarantee would get more than enough
stabbing and pillaging its way to TV royalty, people interested,” she tells FHM. And, with
recruiting a whopping 14 million viewers per that, her pioneering unit in Game of Thrones
episode. And that’s just the legal watchers — studies was born. That’s right, if you so wish,
the show’s intense cliffhangers, sexiness and you can actually get a degree in Dothraki
gore have earned it the crown of the most horsemanship or Lannister debt-paying.

Westeros
pop-up book, With season four now showing on HBO, we asked the Prof to give us four reasons why
$81. it may be the greatest show ever created…

It kicked an It makes you It makes you You’re

entire genre feel like a question your spoiler-safe
up the a**e bloody hero own humanity “The Game of
“JRR Tolkien “People are drawn “Try to think of Thrones series of
explained that to Game of another film or books is not yet
humans long for Thrones over television show fully written, so the
a happy ending — but contemporary, where children — ending can’t be
central to this is that natural realism [the some unborn — are spoilered. But fans
it almost didn’t opposite of fantasy] massacred also know that the
happen; you’ve had because such throughout. Early on experience of
some sort of narrow realism argues that in the show, Ned coming innocent
escape from grief. we’re powerless to Stark draws our and unspoiled to
After Tolkien, the our circumstances. attention to it when events that have
fantasy genre was Game of Thrones he says, ‘We fought already occurred in
filled with bad doesn’t teach us a war to put an end the show and book
imitations and we that dragons exist, to the killing of is so important to
lost our love for it. but it does teach us children.’ One of the the appeal. I’m
Then [author] George that dragons can things that’s morally charmed by how
RR Martin came be defeated. If we engaging about the many people want
along and that peril admire the courage series is that it to preserve
got very real again. of the heroes who really examines the that experience. No
Game of Thrones is fight dragons, then twin questions of spoilers, but you
stacked with grief: we’re being ‘What is it to be have a very
Think about the reminded our own human?’ and interesting season
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO VITTUR

number of dead. And monsters can ‘What are the limits coming up
they just keep dying.” be defeated.” of humanity?’” in front of you…”

All items are available at hboshopeu.com and store.hbo.com.

Game of Thrones Season Four is now showing on HBO (StarHub Ch 601, Sun, 10pm.

06/14 015
 ACCESS

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016 06/14
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SINGAPORE’S
ORE’S’S’S BBEST
ESST
EEST
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EEN
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MA
MAGAZINE!
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AGAZI
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JUNE 2014 $6.00
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SAUCY
SELFIES
& E-FLIRTS
HOW TECH
IS CHANGING
YOUR SEX
LIFE

ROMCOM
YOUR
LOVE LIFE
LEAN ON HER
SERENADE HER
TEACH HER
FROM BEHIND
PAGEANT RIVALS, ENGINEER
BEST FRIENDS FOREVER! CONFLICT

Scan to download
 GEAR
THE DILEMMAS OF MAN
HOW DO I PICK A STUDIO?
“Cleanliness is imperative.
If it looks dirty, there’s no
guarantee the equipment
will be suitably sterilised.
If you get a bad feeling,
they’re rude or they can’t
answer your questions, it’s
probably not the best place.”

HAVE I CAN I TAKE THE PAIN?

“The three most painful places
are the ribs, neck and feet

MISSED
(leaving aside the genitals and
palms). Making sure you’ve eaten
well, are not hungover and are
well-rested before your session

THE TATTOO
will massively help.”

BOAT?
They’re not just a
trend — they’re for
life. Make sure you
get it right with tips HOW DO I PICK AN ARTIST?
from British tattoo “Check the quality of the
artist Dexter Kay. artist’s work and their
reputation through their
website or Facebook before
committing. A lot of artists
specialise in a certain style,
so research what you like
and find one that’s suitable.”

ARE THERE RULES?

WHAT DO I GET? “The social
“Stay strong mentally. etiquette in a lot of
Don’t let the artist studios is not to
bully you into get hands tattooed
something you don’t unless your arms
want. Never be afraid are full, or your
to say you want to neck − unless your
change it — you’re torso and legs
the one that has to are full.”
see it for the rest of
your life.”
WORDS,PHOTOS & ILLUSTRATIONS: FHM UK

018 06/14
 THE DOS & DON’TS
DON’T: Get your
girlfriend’s name.
DO: Get your
wife’s name.
DO: Pay top dollar.

5 COMMON
NAUTICAL
TATTOOS
And the real meaning
behind them…

ANCHOR
Representing
the most
DON’T: Be offended secure point
if they need to
change it to make it in your
work.
life, this
is often emblazoned with a
girlfriend’s name. There’s
no real harm in it saying
DON’T: Scrimp. “Mum” either.
You’ll have this
your whole life.
SWALLOW
A positive
DO: Bring your DON’T: Get your
own design. face tattooed.
symbol
representing
a return
journey
home – just like the
migratory pattern of the
bird itself.

PIG AND
ROOSTER
When
ships were
wrecked in a
storm, often
the only things to survive
were the animals kept in the
DON’T: Be offended if they need DO: Get a
to change it to make it work. face tattoo. floaty wooden crates. As a
result, they’re tattooed on
feet for good luck.
DO: Take care DON’T: Expose it DON’T: Try to fit in
of your tattoo. to harsh sunlight and use crap slang.
unprotected. TURTLE
Also known
as a
“shellback”,
it represents

“Sick ink “I really like a sailor’s

level of experience, and
bruv! your tattoos. that he’s crossed the
equator. The more
Tat me wiv What does that experienced a sailor, the
dat gun, machine do?”
more tattoos he has.

fam.” NAUTICAL
STAR
This will
keep you
on course
DO: Talk to
your tattooist. and guide
you home, apparently.
Whether it works after five
KNOW THE LINGO pints, three Jägerbombs and
a bak chor mee is yet to be
COVER UP: A larger, heavier tattoo that literally covers the one you don’t like. proved. It’s also often
rocked by the US Navy and
FLASH: A pre-prepared drawing to be applied directly as a tattoo. Marine Corps, so best not to
mess with a foreigner who
WALK-IN: Just like at the doctors, this is seeing the tattoo artist without an appointment. has one.

06/14 019
 GEAR

ON HIM: COTTON BOXERS, BY CALVIN KLEIN

UNDERWEAR. ON HER: LACE TEDDY & SATIN
ROBE, BOTH BY CHALONE. COTTON THONG,
BY CALVIN KLEIN UNDERWEAR. BATHROBE,
CANDLES, BEDSHEETS, QUILT COVER, PILLOWS
AND BATHROBE, ALL FROM ROBINSONS.
BLINDFOLD, SPANKING ROD & HANDCUFFS,
ALL BY SIMPLY INTIMATE. SELFIE ROD,
BY SELFIEROD.COM. NOKIA LUMIA 1020,
BY NOKIA.

PHOTOGRAPHY ASSISTANCE: ALFIE PAN;

FASHION ASSISTANCE JESSIE PHAM; HAIR:
PETER LEE/HAIRLOOM USING GOLDWELL
PRODUCTS; MAKEUP: RONALOU LAU/
RONALOULAU.COM; MODELS: RAMON &
SASHA/MANNEQUIN.

020 06/14
 STYLE ITEMS

CHECK OUT OUR

HOW-TO-SELFIE GUIDE IN THE
MAY ISSUE, AVAILABLE FOR
IPAD ON ITUNES STORE.
SHOOT YOUR
OWN HOME-
MADE VIDEOS
Direct and act in your own production.
All you need are the right equipment
— and partner — to get your act going.
Art direction Dannii Choo Photography Joel Low
Words & styling Cheryl Chan

There comes a time in every seeing yours (and your partner’s

couple’s life where the two of bits) blown way up on a 60-inch
them feel compelled to solidify LCD screen. If you fancy yourself
their sex lives on the big/small the next James Deen waiting for
screen. A relationship milestone, your big straight-to-video debut,
an intimate clip is one of the we have a few tips to get your
easier achievements one can tick amateur game going. All you’ll
off a bucket list. Besides, there is need is a tripod and your libido.
something very gratuitous in Come prepared.

FIVE FILMING TIPS

1
Keep the lawn night-vision videos definitely no old,
manicured are tacky and so unwashed briefs.
Keep it groomed. 2009. See One You don’t want to
No one says you Night in Paris. be watching that
have to wax video years from

3
everything off, but a Hardware now wondering
little manscaping investment what are those
goes a long way. It Invest in a dodgy stains are
makes your package handheld cam or a mid-thrust. No
look attractive and smartphone with holes in the wrong
shows consideration good video function places, either.
towards your (and high-def).

5
partner. Trust us, she Since you’ve Filming
WILL thank you…in probably already rights
more ways than one. shelled out for Lastly, and
Wi-Fi, surely you probably the most

2
Keep it soft can manage a few important tip of all,
Create mood extra bucks to MAKE SURE ALL
lighting. Having capture those POV PARTIES
a camera pointed at money shots. INVOLVED ARE
you is enough to CONSENTING

4
give anyone Beware AND AWARE. If
performance anxiety. underwear not, the only
Make sure the Come dressed stimulation you’ll
lighting is kept to a to be undressed in ever be having will
soft, flattering glow. your Sunday’s best be the one you
Table lamps are fine, underwear. No joke have with yourself.
but candles are a boxers from your In prison. For a very
plus. Because last boys’ trip, and long time.

06/14 021
 GEAR

FASHION NEWS PERFECT FIT

MARITIME
Freitag takes recycling to a new
level with its iconic function-over-
form messenger backpacks.
Reconstructed from truck

MADNESS
tarpaulins, bicycle tires and
seatbelts, these bags battle well
against the manhandling of
everyday life — rain or shine. If
they’re dubbed the optimal
In a throwback to Lacoste’s choice for hardcore cyclists,
sporting history and iconic these carry-all bags are definitely
products, the latest collection is sturdy enough for us.
a myriad of polo shirts perfect for
your lazy weekends. Inspired by $525, from Actually at
its maritime heritage, the Orchard Gateway.
Maritime Signal Flags line brings
back classic nautical stripes,
comfy boating shoes, and
windbreakers so who cares if
you don’t actually sail or own a
yacht? At least you dress like
you do.

From Lacoste boutiques.

STREET
SMART
Forget primly starched
uniforms and painstakingly
polished boots. Streetwear
label Fingercroxx puts a
twist on formal, smart
uniforms by transforming
them with a touch of
casualness. Picture
distinctive camouflage prints
paired with minimalist

BOLD garments and topped with

militant badges.

BAGGAGE From i.t Labels at

Wisma Atria.
Instead of boring bulky
luggage that only sees the
light of day when you’re
travelling, opt for the brainchild
of Tumi’s latest collaboration
with American designer,
Jonathan Adler. Plastered in
playful prints and colours, it’s
hard not to look forward to
that well-deserved getaway.
And the best part? It’ll be a
cinch identifying your luggage
on the baggage carousel.
WORDS: GLADYS GOH

$50 to $725, from

Tumi stores.

022 06/14
 STYLE
LESSONS
Personalise your suit with
a nifty pocket square, tie
clip and cufflinks. They don’t

EYE SPY have to cost much,

but they’ll make any suit
look far more than
If you’re struggling not to it’s worth.
melt in the current heatwave,
why not look good while
you’re at it? Stay cool with
these bangin’ Dior Homme
leather shades that are fresh
off the runway. In line with
the trend of mixed materials,
these slightly retro minimalist
shades are completely
hand-covered in leather and
combined with rubber
detailing on the bridge, so
you can show the sun
who’s boss.

$1,270, from
authorised retailers.

ACEING IT
Show off Ecco’s latest shoes
when you hit the golf course
to deliver some hole-in one
action. Constructed with a
directly injected midsole and
an outsole with traction lugs,
these babies provides
maximum comfort and
torsional support while
looking good. Not just
designed for the fairway, the
Danish shoe company also
has models that go from golf
green chic to office smart.

From $329.90, at “Nothing beats the feeling the tailor. Don’t worry
Ecco stores.

TAILOR of putting on a great-

fitting suit. When you’re
buying one, look for
versatility. Can you dress
about expensive alterations,
as you can get this service
in neighbourhood shops.
Off-the-rack jackets can be

A SUIT
the trousers down with a boxy, so taking in the waist
shirt? Will the jacket work will accentuate your
with jeans? shoulders. For the sleeves,
“If this is your first suit, no more than half an inch
keep it simple. Stick to a of shirt cuff should show

TO FIT
classic navy single- when your hands are
breasted suit. You’ll easily resting at your side, and
get your wear out of it. the end of the sleeve should
“Fit is the most fall where your arm meets
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOGRAPHY: BEN MCDADE

important thing to get your hand. With the

Terry Donovan, of right. When you try a trousers, keep it simple and
style group The jacket on, check the fit in get them shortened to your
Sartorial 7, explains your shoulders. If it feels preferred length. They’re
how to make a suit too big or strange, don’t small things, but they’ll
look a million dollars. buy it. really change the way your
“Then you’re ready for suit looks.”

06/14 000
023
 GEAR
GROOMING

BACK TO BLACK
Come over to the dark side with these products containing activated charcoal
powder. Known to have detoxifying properties, this unconventional ingredient is
proving to have a few more uses than just on the barbecue.

2
1 4

FHM
6 LOV E S

01) DAISO SUMI CHARCOAL HAIR SHAMPOO, 02) HABA CHARCOAL FORCE SHAMPOO, 03) DARLIE CHARCOAL CLEAN TOOTHPASTE,
WORDS: JANINE LEE; ART DIRECTION: PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY: KELVIN CHIA

200ML, $2 220ML, $42 40G, $2

If you’re prone to greasy hair, this shampoo Containing antibacterial bamboo charcoal, This toothpaste uses natural bamboo
formulated with Japanese charcoal is tea tree oil and persimmon tannin extract charcoal molecules to absorb dirt. It also
designed to eliminate excess oil and this shampoo also promotes metabolism and contains whitening agents to remove stains
pore-clogging dirt from oily scalps. hair growth, preventing hair loss. and whiten teeth in 14 days.

04) COLGATE CHARCOAL BRISTLES 05) DAISO NATURAL CLEANSING CREAM, 06) HABA CHARCOAL FORCE SOAP, 120G, $24
TOOTHBRUSH, 3 FOR $9 80G, $2 Formulated with ginseng powder to promote
Featuring 0.01mm tapered bristles that clean Utilising charcoal to draw out dirt, oil and metabolism and blood circulation, this face
deep in between teeth, the charcoal bristles impurities from clogged pores, this face and body soap also contains antibacterial
also remove bacteria and eliminate odour, wash cleanses skin from toxins and bacteria, bamboo charcoal that thoroughly cleanses
keeping your toothbrush fresh with each use. leaving it feeling clean and refreshed. the skin and pores and also eliminates odour.

024 06/14
 Top 10 !
SINGAPORE’SS BBES
ESSSTT SEL
EEST
JUN E 2014 $6.00 SELL
SE
ELLLLIN
INNG
IING
NG MMEEEN’
ENNN’N’S’S MA
MAGA
6.00
AGAZ
GAAZIZIZINE
INE
NE!E!
NE!

SAUCY
SELFIES
& E-FLIRTS
HO W TE CH
IS CH AN GIN
YO UR SE X G
Top 10 ! LIF E

AZ
MMAAAGAZ
N’N’S’S’S MAGA NE!EE!!
NNE
INE!
IN
IINE
AZZINE!
ING
LLING
ELLIN
ELLIN
ELLI ENNS
NGG MME
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APOR ST SSELL
ESST
EST
E’S’SS BEST
ORE’S BBES
SING2014 $6.00
JUNE

SAUCYES
SELFI TS
& E-FTECLIR
H

ROMCOM
HOW NG
IS CHA NGI
YOU R SEX
LIFE

ROMCOM
YOUR E YOUR
CORDEALNIADA LOVE LIFE
LOVE LIFHER
LEA N ON DE HER
SER ENA
TEA CH HERIND

& AM
FRO M BEH LE AN ON HE
ENG INE ERT
PAGEANT RI SE RE NA DE HER
BEST FRIENDVA LS,
CON FLIC
RIVALS, VER!
PAGEANTIEN DS FORE TE AC H HE R R
BEST FR S FOREVER! FR OM BE HI ND
EN GI NE ER
CO NF LIC T

ENJOY YOUR
FAVOURITE MAGAZINES
ON THE MOVE!
Digital editions are available on both iOS and Android.
To download, search for MEDIACORP or go to:

Magzter at http://www.magzter.com/publishers/MediaCorp
 GEAR

HER OPINION

HOW DOES
MY BALLER Zhiyan, 23
I think it shows they’re
Shelley, 20
It gives me the feeling that

BEHAVIOUR
confident enough to pull they need money to buy
off that attitude and also and seek attention as well
that they have quite a as friends.
carefree life.

LOOK?
(SHE’LL LET YOU KNOW) Rachel, 22 Alexis, 22
Rocking the club decked in designer With so much money, you can I appreciate when guys know
labels, popping bottles by the dozen and do other things, like pick up how to spend their money
flashing your C-notes like the Wolf of new skills. It just comes across wisely, but I wouldn’t if they’re
Wall Street — does it up your street cred as really desperate when trying doing it just to be popular. It
or just make you look silly? FHM finds to attract women. really depends on the situation.
out what the ladies think.
DAVID ARQUETTE
SEEN CELEBRATING
HIS BIRTHDAY WITH
A GIANT BOTTLE OF
CHAMPAGNE.

Ash, 22 Connie, 27
I’m neutral about it because I There’s a bit of insecurity that
don’t judge them for it. They goes along with it and they
can do whatever’s their thing. need to show off and establish
If they’re rich enough for it, themselves through material
why not? things. It’s not cool.
INTERVIEW & PHOTOGRAPHY: GLADYS GOH; PHOTO: TPGIMAGES/CLICKPHOTOS

Yanting, 24 Lee, 21
A guy would appeal more to It’s great as it shows they live
me if he knows how to spend very freely and aren’t bounded
his money wisely instead of by financial restraints. It’s their
spending on bottles and money; they can do whatever
showing off. they want.

026 06/14
 FINALS PARTY
RSVP NOW
E-mail to: [email protected]

VENUE: AZZURA BEACH CLUB,SENTOSA

DATE: SATURDAY, 21 JUNE 2014
TIME: 5PM TILL LATE
•Get a pair of invites to the Finals party* •Fashion showcase of swimwear/lingerie
•Witness the crowning of FHM’s next cover girl •Complimentary beer
Terms & Conditions: Invites are on a first-come-first-served basis. Q RSVP closes on 15 June 2014. Q Confirmation e-mail will be send to you once we have confirmed your RSVP to the event. Q House rules & age limit for entry into Azzura applies.
Q Singapore FHM reserves the right to refuse entry upon full capacity at the venue. Q Singapore FHM reserves the right to change the date of the Finals party.

PA R I S
BUGIS JUNCTION & BUGIS + SPECIAL
 ON HIM: CHAMBRAY PATCHWORK SHIRT,
$129, COTTON T-SHIRT, $59, BOTH BY IZZUE
FROM I.T. JEANS, $68.90, BY GRAPHITE.
SUEDE CHELSEA BOOTS, $11.20, BY PEDRO.
ASSORTED BRACELETS, $9, STUDDED CUFF,
$32.90, ALL BY 77TH STREET. SUNGLASSES,
STYLIST’S OWN. ON HER: DENIM BUSTIER,
$24.90, BY BLOGSHOPPING. ACID WASH
DENIM SHORTS, $63, DENIM JACKET (TIED
AROUND WAIST), $99, BOTH BY TOPSHOP.
ASSORTED BRACELETS, $4.90-5.90, ALL BY
77TH STREET. PAISLEY-PRINT DENIM
PLIMSOLLS, $109, BY VANS. ALL PROPS,
STYLIST’S OWN.

FESTIVAL
SEASON
ART DIRECTION: DANNII CHOO; STYLING: CHERYL CHAN

With fashion taking centrestage, attending festivals isn’t just about

the music anymore. Whatever your style preferences, Bugis Junction
and Bugis+ has all you need to be as one with your musical tribe.
BUGIS JUNCTION & BUGIS + SPECIAL

ON HIM: NYLON JACKET, $189, BY

NEW BALANCE. COTTON DRI-FIT T-SHIRT,
$55, FLYKNIT SNEAKERS, $259, NYLON
SHORTS, $75, TERRYCLOTH WRISTBAND,
$14.90, ALL BY NIKE. ROPE BRACELETS,
$10.90–15.90, BY 77TH STREET. RUBBER
WATCH, $139, BY CASIO FROM APITMOS. ON
HER: COTTON HOODIE, $119, DENIM VEST,
$159, BOTH BY IZZUE FROM I.T. LYCRA BIKINI
(BOTTOM NOT SHOWN), $69.90, BY
RIPCURL. DENIM SHORTS, $19, BY FEMME X.
CANVAS CHUCK TAYLORS, $59.90, BY
CONVERSE. SKATEBOARD, $159.90, BY
GLOBE FROM RIPCURL. GLOW STICKS AND
GLOW ACCESSORIES, STYLIST’S OWN.
READY VELVET FRAME
MIRRORED

SET GLO
SUNGLASSES, $100,
BY C.STYLE POLAROID
FROM PARIS MIKI.

We say party, you say rave! Glo big

or glo home with these neon items RUBBER BELT,
that guarantee the thumbs-up from $29.90, BY GLOBE
FROM RIPCURL.
fellow ravers.
OINTMENT, $9.90, BY
LUCAS PAW PAW
FROM RIPCURL.

NYLON COLOURBLOCK
JACKET, $229,
BY NIKE.
WONDERBALL
SPEAKER,
$39.90, BY SPEAKERS,
ACTION CITY. $29.90, BY
ACTION CITY.

PVC WALLET,
$19.90,
BY RIPCURL.

NYLON SHORTS, $109, RUBBER WATCH,

BY CALVIN KLEIN $115, BY NIXON,
UNDERWEAR. FROM APTIMOS.

CANVAS
BACKPACK,
$49.90,
BY CONVERSE.
SPORTS SHOES,
$139, BY
NEW BALANCE.
BUGIS JUNCTION & BUGIS + SPECIAL
ON HIM: COTTON FLORAL SHIRT, $69, DENIM
FLORAL SHORTS, $79, ROUND SUNGLASSES,
$39, ALL BY TOPMAN. SANDALS, $79 BY
PEDRO. BRACELETS, $4.90-$9.90, ALL BY
77TH STREET. ON HER: COTTON FLORAL
BUSTIER, $31.90, BY KISS JANE. COTTON
FLORAL HIGH-WAISTED SHORTS, $27.90, BY
BLOGSHOPPING. METALLIC SANDALS, $69,
BY PEDRO. RINGS, $19, ASSORTED
NECKLACES, $13-$23, ROPE BRACELETS, $9,
GOLD BRACELETS, $29 EACH, ALL BY
TOPSHOP. HEADPIECE, SHAWL & BOOK,
STYLIST’S OWN. VINTAGE RADIO, $79.90,
BY GRANDCHILD.
PRINTS WOODEN
SUNGLASSES, $280,
BY PARIS MIKI.

CHARMING
Make like John Lennon and unleash
your inner hippie
ie spirit with
psychedelic florals.
als.
POLAROID
CAMERA, $209,
BY GRANDCHILD.

FLORAL COTTON
JACKET, $69, BY
RUBBER WATCH, FLESH IMP.
$82, BY SWATCH.

SUN BLOCK
SPRAY, $19.90,
BY RIPCURL.

FLORAL DENIM FLORAL CANVAS

SHORTS, $32.90, BY BACKPACK, $32.90,
MESSY VINTAGE. BY VINTAGE:FB.

FLORAL CAP, $26,

BY INDIE SIN X
THE BACKGROUND.

FLORAL CANVAS FLORAL CANVAS

WALLET, $43, PLIMSOLLS, $129,
BY QUIKSILVER. BY CHIMA
FERGUSON PRO
ALOHA FROM VANS.

201 Victoria Street, Singapore 188067

200 Victoria Street, Singapore 188021 Tel: 6634-6810.
Tel: 6557-6557 www.bugisplus.com.sg
www.bugisjunction-mall.com.sg www.facebook.com/BugisPlus.SG
 GEAR

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06/14 035
 HOT METAL

CALL THE SHOTS

Nothing clicks better than taking photos with a proper camera.

SONY A7S
Best for: Shooting in the dark.
Its wide range of ISO sensitivity
(ISO 50 – 409,600) and impressive
dynamic range allows it to
produce brilliantly detailed,
low-noise images in even the
darkest environments.
Gimme: Coming soon.

LEICA T
Best for: Use as fashion accessory. Made in Germany CANON POWERSHOT N100
from a single block of aluminium for a solid feel, its purist Best for: Making home movies. Its Story Highlight mode
design features only the functions you really need. intuitively creates a reel of images and video to make a
Gimme: Price unavailable; Leica stores and customised movie.
authorised retailers. Gimme: $449; authorised retailers.

NIKON 1 J4 OLYMPUS STYLUS SH-1

WORDS: DENNIS YIN

Best for: Taking action shots. It offers the world’s fastest Best for: Shaky hands. This big-zoom (24x) compact cam
continuous shooting speed — faster than D-SLR models. has the world’s most effective (5-Axis) image stabiliser.
Gimme: Price unavailable; authorised retailers. Gimme: Coming soon.

036 06/14
FIRM SUPPORT
5

Accessories to better your hardware.

01) PIONEER AVH-

X8650BT
Why’s it good? The multimedia receiver
features AppRadio Mode, an app-control
technology that allows users to directly
access their favourite music, video,
navigation and social-media apps from
the car dashboard, without using
their smartphones.
Gimme: $1,199; authorised retailers.

02) SONY CP-W5

Why’s it good? The USB portable
charger wirelessly charges
2 Qi-compatible devices using an
electromagnetic field. Also has an option
of using a charging cable.
Gimme: $89.90; Sony stores and
authorised retailers.

03) LOGITECH
BLUETOOTH AUDIO
ADAPTOR
Why’s it good? Multipoint Bluetooth
connectivity and one-touch pairing turns
your favourite speakers into a wireless
sound system for your smartphone
or tablet.
Gimme: $49; authorised retailers.

04) SEAGATE BACKUP

PLUS FAST
Why’s it good? The world’s first portable
3 4 4TB storage device that offers twice the
capacity and speed of existing external
portable drives.
Gimme: $449; Challenger stores.

05) OTTER DEFENDER S5

Why’s it good? Protect your Samsung
Galaxy S5 against drops, shocks and
impact with the brand’s toughest case. It
features an impact-absorbing outer layer,
solid polycarbonate shell and built-in
screen protector.
Gimme: $69; www.otterbox.asia and
authorised retailers.

06/14 037
 on

WHICH Testedstars
rock

FITNESS
TRACKER
BRACELET PAUL, BASS

IS BEST?
Instrument-trashing
metal monkeys Baby
Godzilla, one of the
most explosive “live”
bands in Britain, put
our fitness trackers
through their paces…

THE BAND POLAR LOOP FITBUG ORB

The heaviest, chunkiest and most watch-like of A vision of how sci-fi enthusiasts from the
THE the devices, the Loop is heart-rate-monitor ’60s might have imagined bracelets to look in
BASICS specialist Polar’s reaction to the success of the
Nike+ FuelBand — it even has a similar design
2014 — but the Orb is new this year. Made by
British innovators Fitbug, it might be the most
and a one-touch LED display. rudimentary of all the monitors tested, but it’s
also the cheapest.

You can slide the Orb out from its bendy

It’s got a hardy, moshpit-proof
We caught up with THE PROS fastening clasp.
rubber bracelet and clip it to your clothing,
or even just shove it in your pocket.
head-banging,
circle pit-starting,
speed-metal band
We can’t actually tell you how good the
Baby Godzilla on It sends you irritating daily e-mails, and
accompanying app is because, as for most
the last night of its
Kerrang! Tour at
THE CONS reviewers on the App Store, it wouldn’t stay
there’s no rechargeable power source (its
watch-style battery lasts up to six months).
open long enough for us to find out.
London’s O2
Brixton Academy.
No group touring
in Britain today
plays harder, faster
BAND Paul: “It’s got a really effective clasp. Sleek Paul: “I had to reattach it halfway
through the set. Annoying. Not the
design, too, and the display’s easy to read.”
or louder than CHAT best-looking thing either.”
these dudes, which
is why we asked
the band members A basic gizmo with an equally
to wear our fitness Clunky, cumbersome and not
basic app, the Orb is basically, well,
bands while
unleashing their
THE intuitive to use, the mobile and
desktop elements really let down
basic. It does, however, reveal the
number of kilometres travelled
unique brand VERDICT what is otherwise a perfectly
passable pedometer.
and calories burned, so it does its
of distorted fury. job in a pretty solid, low-key way.

038 06/14
 AR
JONNY, GUIT TOM, DRU
M S
MATT, VOCALS
Winner

JAWBONE UP FITBITT FLEX NIKE+ FUELBAND SE

California-based company Jawbone made its name The device itself is a small pod that you slide into An LED display shows you the numbermber of
o steps
in the Bluetooth headset game, and has since an adjustable rubber band. Much like the other taken, calories burned and how close you are
established itself as a player in the wireless monitors, the Flex is a step-counting pedometer, to your daily Fuel goal — Nike’s patented (and
speakers market. This is Jawbone’s first foray but the mobile app also acts as a diary where slightly arbitrary) workout measure. Keep tabs on
into the fitness tracking world. you can manually log how much food and drink your and your mates’ progress on the app.
you’ve consumed, and even how well you slept.

No battery-draining Bluetooth, no downloads, It has a discreet design, and the app is

The lightest of the lot. It’s also easy
no annoying cables — just plug it into your intuitive. It appeals to your competitive nature
to sync with your smartphone.
smartphone’s headphone jack and sync away. by pitting you against your mates.

Up to five flashing lights tell you how close

It doesn’t have a screen, so there’s you are to reaching your daily goal, but that’s
Rigid and inflexible – the least comfortable.
no on-wrist display. all the data you can get without syncing with
the app over Bluetooth.

Tom: “If I wear something on my wrist it has

Jonny: “It looks like a big s**t paperclip, but it was to be as discreet as possible, or it just annoys
Matt: “The display’s ace, though I’m not
non-restricting and I barely noticed it was there, me when I’m playing. This was comfortable
too sure what the Fuel numbers relate to.”
however much I moved about.” and didn’t come off. I’m glad it’s not a garish colour
too — it blends in well with my shitty look.”
PHOTOGRAPHY: CARLA MUNDY & ANDREA TAJTI

A lack of bells and whistles Personal data trackers are This looks the nicest, but you’re
gives this a whopping 10-day really just glorified step paying for the tick on the side. It
battery life. Plus the colourful counters — using inbuilt doesn’t provide
app — with all its calorie-burning, accelerometers — but the added you with as much info as
step-taking and sleep-monitoring extras on this one’s app provide some of the others, and it’ll set you
info — is a cinch to use. good value for money. back a fair bit more.

06/14 039
 CORDELIA & AMANDA

040 06/14
 ON CORDELIA (LEFT):
POLKA-DOT LYCRA BIKINI
TOP, BY ETAM. ON AMANDA
(RIGHT): GINGHAM LYCRA
BIKINI TOP, BY ETAM. GOLD
NECKLACE, BY TOPSHOP.

ART DIRECTION ASSISTANCE:

PYRON TAN; PHOTOGRAPHY
ASSISTANCE: ALFIE PAN;
HAIR: MICHAEL CHIEW/
HAIRLOOM USING GOLDWELL;
MAKEUP: RONALOU LAU/
RONALOULAU.COM.
LOCATION: KLAPSONS
BOUTIQUE HOTEL.

DOUBLE
THE
HEAT
FHM crashes a sexy slumber party with
models Cordelia Low and Amanda Toh to
find out what makes these BFFs tick.
Words Janine Lee Art direction Dannii Choo
Photography Joel Low Styling Cheryl Chan

06/14 041
 CORDELIA & AMANDA

How long have you girls What would you do if

known each other? both of you happened to
Cordelia Low: We’ve like the same guy?
actually known of each CL: I’ll give him to her,
other’s existence for a think highly of my love it’s okay.
while now, but we only of floral things. AT: Chicks over dicks,
got close during the Miss CL: She has way too man. I would never fight
Singapore Universe many floral dresses. with her over a guy.
pageant last year when AT: And I can’t stand that Anything you cannot
we were both finalists. all her clothes are share with each other?
Amanda Toh: We used to clashing colours. She CL: I can’t think of
do events together, and pairs hot pink and green anything. We even share

E
very guy knows there was also a mutual clothes with a chunky bikinis with each other.
that meeting his friend involved. red necklace. She doesn’t How would you bail your
new girlfriend’s Was there any jealousy looks hideous, but it just best pal out of a sticky
folks is nervy or competitiveness doesn’t appeal to me. situation with a guy?
business. If all during the pageant? What about your taste CL: If a guy is “sticky”
goes well, you’re CL: Nope! That’s what in men? towards her for too long,
in the clear; if “gelled” us. We were just Both: Totally different! I’d just scold him and say,
not… Well… Who there to have fun and had CL: That’s the reason “Sorry, she doesn’t want
listens to their parents the same mentality about we’re such good friends to talk to you anymore,
anyway? the competition. — it’s the golden rule. bye!” Then giggle and
There is, however, one AT: I also made her eat Amanda doesn’t really run away. I try not to be
other important person salad throughout the fancy them, but she’s a rude but some guys can
in her life who is easy to entire competition, so white-guy magnet. When be really aggressive.
overlook, but whose that was good. And she we go boy hunting in a What’s the most difficult
opinion actually matters also signed up for a gym club, I’ll walk one round thing you've ever had to
a lot more to your girl membership with me in and not spot any tell your best friend?
than you might care to the end. So I think I’m potentials, but a white AT: We can talk about
think. That’s right guys, quite motivating for her guy will pick her up. Not anything with each other.
we’re referring to your in that sense. once but a lot of times.
girlfriend’s sister-from- How did you get close? AT: She’s exaggerating.
another-mother, the AT: Because we’re both so Cordelia, on the other
person she goes to for full of s**t! [Laughs] hand, attracts everyone
advice on everything CL: Both of us are very except white guys.
from guy trouble to different but similar.
lingerie picks — her AT: We’re both super-
underrated-yet-ball- noisy but we think alike.
bustingly-difficult-to- CL: When it comes to
please best friend. little things like food and
Meet Amanda Toh and taste in fashion, we’re
Cordelia Low — top-16 completely different.
finalist and second AT: And Cordelia doesn’t
runner-up in Miss
Singapore Universe 2013
respectively — who
became best friends after
the pageant. Whether it’s
chocolate, secrets or
bikinis, there’s nothing
these two wouldn’t share.
And for the first time,
they’re letting us into
their inner circle for a
rare glimpse of what goes
down in BFF-world.
You’re going to want to
pay attention because
this is your ticket into
getting that elusive
best-friend green light.

042 06/14
“I can’t think of
anything we cannot
share. We even
share bikinis with
each other.”
— Cordelia

COTTON HOODIE, BY
VANS. LYCRA BRA AND
LYCRA/COTTON PANTIES,
BOTH BY LA SENZA.
CORDELIA & AMANDA

“Both of us are very

different but similar.”
— Cordelia
 ON AMANDA: CROPPED
COTTON SWEATER, BY LAZY
OAF FROM ACTUALLY.
STRIPED LYCRA/COTTON
PANTIES, BY LA SENZA.
GOLD NECKLACES, BY
TOPSHOP. ON CORDELIA:
LYCRA BRA, BY LA SENZA.
HIGH-WAISTED DENIM
SHORTS, BY ROXY.

06/14 045
 CORDELIA & AMANDA

Do you share your guys and I’m super-chill

darkest secrets with about relationships.
each other? CL: She’s just going with
CL: Within the past year, the flow; she’s not exactly
we’ve amassed quite a lot looking for anything. As
of dirt on each other. long as she’s happy,
AT: If she ever screws me everything’s fine, I guess.
over, I’d have plenty of But if things go bad,
material to blackmail her! you’d have to pick up
How would you cheer the pieces?
your best friend up CL: Unfortunately, that’s
when she’s down? what a best friend does.
AT: Cordelia would buy AT: Aww…
me food. Describe your best
CT: I’d buy her food and AT: It’s too weird, I’d just friend’s ideal partner.
annoy her until she stops walk away. But it’s CL: Someone a little bit
being sad. entertaining when she older than her, but not
AT: And she likes her does silly things like more than nine years. He
hawker food a lot. that, especially if I’m has to be affectionate but
CT: Yeah that’s a major feeling down. not clingy. Someone who
difference between us; Is it okay for your best can deal with her diet
Amanda likes salads and friend to date your ex? — not a lot of people can
bread, but if I tell her to AT: I’m okay with it. deal with salads.
eat bak chor mee… CL: I would never date AT: Cordelia needs
AT: I’d slap her! She likes her ex, though. I can’t someone who can stand
all the unhealthy food stand him. her singing and dancing
from Chomp Chomp. AT: She could go on in the car. I think she has
What happens when you criticising him for hours. a split personality
get together for a Why didn’t you take her sometimes. She’ll be
slumber party? advice then? driving and suddenly
AT: It’ll have a lot of food. AT: We didn’t know break into song in a very
Chocolates, sweets and each other when I was dramatic way.
snacks. Food binds us. with my ex, but she’s CL: I’m over the top
What’s the weirdest heard stories and she that way.
thing you have done hates him. AT: I don’t even need to
together? CL: Amanda will half- dare her to do anything;
CL: She made me dance listen when I give her she’ll just go nuts on her
in the middle of Orchard advice or tell her my own. Each time she
Road once. It was a dare experiences and the misbehaves, I’ll say
because we were bored. things I’ve gone through. “Excuse me, Miss
AT: We were in Korea And then when s**t hits Singapore Universe
another time and she was the fan… second runner-up,
talking to this guy in a AT: I’ll admit that she please behave.”
gross, whiny voice to get was right. CL: She’s always
a discount. CL: And while I hate throwing that card at me!
CL: I had to go up to this doing this, I can’t help What are your likes
uncle and say “Oppa, but say, “I told you so!” about each other?
discount chuseyo!” in a AT: When it comes to CL: At just 22, she’s quite
whiny manner. I got the guys, she always says mature for her age.
discount, so it’s all good. that, by the way. AT: She’s honest and very
AT: About $20 off the Can you communicate straightforward. I value
retail price! But she’d do without speaking? that a lot. FHM
stuff like that even for a AT: Totally, all it takes
$2 discount. is one look, and she’ll
CL: I enjoy bargaining know what’s going down
for the thrill of it; getting in my mind.
a discount and feeling Have you gone on
good about it. double-dates?
CL: Amanda’s currently
seeing someone who is
not the most-ideal person
for her in my opinion. So
that makes it a little hard
for us to double-date.
Amanda, why don’t you
listen to your friend?
AT: I don’t meet a lot of

046 06/14
 CROPPED COTTON
SWEATER, BY LAZY DAF
FROM ACTUALLY.
STRIPED LYCRA/COTTON
BRA AND PANTIES,
BOTH BY LA SENZA.

“Chicks over
dicks, man.
I would never
fight with her
over a guy.”
— Amanda
 CORDELIA & AMANDA
ON CORDELIA: CROPPED COTTON
T-SHIRT, BY LAZY OAF FROM
ACTUALLY. LYCRA THONG,
STYLIST’S OWN. ON AMANDA:
COTTON GINGHAM BRALET, GOLD
NECKLACE, BOTH BY TOPSHOP.
LYCRA PANTIES, BY ETAM.

OPPOSITE: ON CORDELIA:
POLKA-DOT LYCRA BIKINI TOP, BY
ETAM. COTTON CARDIGAN, BY
FOREVER 21. ON AMANDA:
PRINTED COTTON BRALET, BY
PATTERSON J KINCAID FROM
ECLECTICISM. LEOPARD-PRINT
LYCRA/COTTON PANTIES,
BY LA SENZA.

048 06/14
06/14 049
 ROMCOM YOUR SEX LIFE
BRAS, BY TEZENIS.IT;
KNICKERS, BY TOPSHOP.
SHIRT, TIE & PANTS,
BY TOPMAN.
HAIR AND MAKEUP:
BECKY RULE

050 06/14
 …
it’s
m
t
c
i
o
me
mto

ryo
our sex lif
For too lon
e
g me n ha ve dis mi sse d rom antic comedies as a tedious wa ,
ste
e closer
ly-hearted lady folk. But com
of time, enjoyable only to wobb ese movies can impart invaluable,
and we’ll tell you a secret: Th
life-changing wisdom.
Words Joe Madden Photography Nadia King Styling Hayley Lawrence

Lean on her
Take some photos of you and
Need advice?
your beloved stood back-to-back,
like the poster for every romcom Go chubby or gay
film ever. She should be yanking Just as the object of your affection will be taking advice
on your tie with a half-amused, from her Sassy Female Friend (usually a tough-but-good-
half-annoyed expression; you hearted woman who’s exactly two-thirds as attractive as
should be smirking like a the female lead), you’re gonna need romantic guidance
champion horse who’s been put from a straight-talking, fist-pumping Bro-pal.
out to stud. You’ve got two basic options here: The tubby nerd (name:
Andy) who’s somehow oddly wise when it comes to affairs

Use rain of the heart; or the hyper-campy gay guy (name: Terri) who
totally fixes your scruffy appearance and so-last-decade
Declarations of love aftershave for your big date.
are far more moving A Bro-pal should always be slightly less attractive than
when yelled to her at top you, so that when he eventually meets your future wife,
volume in a torrential, there’s no awkward physical chemistry between them. Tell
pissing downpour. you who will find him irresistible, though – Sassy Female
Friend. Wow, everything has wrapped up so neatly! (Unless

Be nutty
you opted for a gay Bro-pal — he’ll be alone, forever.)

How this might go wrong

You’re a bit crazy! Not, like, Your Bro-pal may one day decide they have romantic
actually crazy, but just fun crazy: issues, and they need some advice from you. In which case
The kind of guy who’ll ride a you’ll need to remind them, in a stern-but-friendly manner,
mechanical bull for 11 hours that love is something that happens to you, not them, and
straight, just to prove a weird that they’d do well to remember who the important one is
point. Haha! Crazy. So crazy! Ha. around here.

06/14 051
 ROMCOM YOUR SEX LIFE

o r th e
Go f l in
CHECKED SHIRT, BY
AMERICAN APPAREL.

gir
OPPOSITE: BLACK UNDERWEAR
SET, BY AMERICAN APPAREL.

glas s e s
At a swanky party?
Surrounded by perfectly
poised glamazonians
in sequinned dresses?
Danger danger! Stay
back! Romcoms teach
us that if a girl is
straightforwardly
good-looking — glossy,
poised, not a hair out of
place — she’ll inevitably
tear your heart from
your chest and destroy
it with a heartache-
fuelled flame thrower.
Who you should be
paying attention to
is the bespectacled
she-klutz over by the
buffet, with her dress
tucked into her knickers
and potato salad all
down her front. She may
be as clumsy as a
reversing elephant, but
the moment she
removes those inch-
thick glasses and sets
free that held-together-
with-pens hairdo, she’ll
be miraculously
transformed into the
Most Beautiful Girl in
This or Any Other Room.
And as a bonus:
Because she’s gone
through life as an ugly
duckling rather than a
beautiful swan, she’ll
remain lovably down-to-
earth, despite her
new-found catwalk-
queen looks. You just
hit the win/win
jackpot, son.

How this
might go wrong
There is a chance that
once she whips off
those specs to reveal
the breathtaking beauty
beneath, she’ll swiftly
realise that she could
have any man in the
world, in which case
you’ve got a severe
emotional kicking
coming your way
(unless you look like
Ryan Gosling and
run a kitten orphanage).

052 06/14
 Ex appeal
Things going awry with your
one true love? Then either get
back with your scumbag ex, or
encourage your one true love
to get back with hers. Romcoms
teach us that nothing speeds
up the path to happiness like
an ill-advised rekindling of
an earlier romance with a
weapons-grade b***h/b*****d.

Be tinged
with tragedy
Romcoms prove even the
most unlikeable leading
men can be instantly
redeemed by revealing
their chin-wobbler of a back
story. Ideally, you’ll have
single-handedly raised your
little brother after your
parents died in a car crash
while rushing home to give
you your eighth birthday
present, a Spider-man doll,
the mangled head of which
you now wear around
your neck at all times.

Take cues from

mad people
You’ll know it’s time to lean
in for your first ever kiss with your
beloved when an obese
60-something woman rises from
her seat to yell in frustration, “Ah
di, hurry up and kiss her lah!” (PS:
You can expect everyone in the
vicinity to cheer wildly once you
plant your lips on your lady.)

Perform a painfully
twee cover version
of a pop song and your would-be-beloved bonded over, for no
apparent reason, and now that shared song
So there you are, at the airport — a man on a desperate, appreciation is totally about to pay off for you.
last-ditch mission to win back the love of his life. You’ve If no such song springs to mind, opt for a track that’s
phoned in a fake bomb threat to keep her flight grounded, romantic enough to pluck at her heart-strings (the “rom”)
you’ve sparked a major security alert by storming on to but also daft enough to make her giggle through the tears
her plane, and you’ve just knocked out her fiancé, who of joy (the “com”).
angrily rose from his seat and declared you a “no-good By the way, don’t be surprised if a crowd forms during
punk”. Now it’s time to seal the deal — not with a your twee, a**holey little busking performance, then
humdrum declaration of love, but with a heartfelt one-man bursts into loud, spontaneous applause the moment your
performance of a kitschy pop classic, with you newly won love leaps into your arms.
accompanying yourself on a suitably sickly cute
instrument, such as a Casio keyboard or a ukulele. How this might go wrong
But which song to sing at this climactic moment? Well, Choose the wrong song — say, Lil Wayne’s Pussy Monster
think back to earlier in the movie… Um, we mean your life. — and the situation will rapidly deteriorate from “awww!”
Earlier in your life. There was probably a song that you to “awwwkward”…

06/14 053
 ROMCOM YOUR SEX LIFE

Getting her into your

shirt trumps getting
into her pants
054 06/14
STRIPED KNICKERS,
BY AMERICAN APPAREL.

Teach her from behind

The only skills worth having are ones that can be shown to
a woman while hugging her back, your strong arms wrapped around
hers, your faces cheek-to-cheek. Pottery, omelette-making and
putting a golf ball are therefore all excellent choices.

Have a stealth Don’t Misread

six pack be bald signals
Although you’re You ever see Seems like she’s
not a gym-pumped a leading man flirting? Assume
meathead (leave that in a romcom she hates your guts.
to your shallow love who’s totally Seems like she hates
rival), when you do bald? Exactly. your guts? OMG,
finally pull off that cosy Bald men don’t she’s totes flirting
cardigan in the deserve love. with you. You’re
presence of your lady, Same goes basically aiming to
it’s of the utmost for big beards. possess all the social
importance that you nous of a
reveal a washboard malfunctioning
stomach more befitting automaton − don’t
a Greek demigod than worry, it’s all part of
an unlucky-in-love love’s fabulously
schlub like yourself. confusing tapestry.

06/14 055
 ROMCOM YOUR SEX LIFE

declare
Don’tlove until
your getting
she’sied
marr
By that, we don’t
mean, “Wait until she’s
accepted a marriage
proposal from her
current boyfriend”; we
mean, “Wait until she’s
literally in a white bridal
Compatible? Then engineer dress, surrounded by
bridesmaids, preparing

some conflict… to walk down the aisle”.

Yes, it may seem like
the worst possible
moment to blurt out
You can’t simply meet a nice girl, get on from the Kun and then open 34 branches on her street your long-buried,
start, go out on a date and then end up in a over a two-week period. Oh sure, you’ll fight like overflowing feelings.
relationship together. Why not? Well, because… cats and dogs at first — but we all know that And yes, calling off a
Because you just bloody can’t, alright? It doesn’t cats and dogs only fight because, deep down, wedding at this stage
work like that. they’re secretly aching to have crazed sex with will have calamitous
You need conflict, you need drama, you need wild each other… repercussions for both
incompatibility. You’ve got to study the woman of of you for years to
your dreams, see what makes her tick, and then How this might go wrong come. And yes, your
mould yourself into the absolute worst person she Pull too far in the opposite direction and you actions are incredibly
could ever imagine meeting. She loves animals? might permanently knacker any potential for selfish and morally
Then you become a big-game hunter. She’s a total romance. So, for example, if she’s a lifesaving repugnant. But forget
neat-freak? Transform your home into a cockroach- heart surgeon, don’t become a gore-crazed serial all that: You’re helplessly
infested s**t-shed. She owns a small, proudly killer who eats all his victims’ internal organs. in love and performing a
independent coffee shop? Become the CEO of Ya That’s just silly! Grand Gesture − she
can’t fail to fall head-
over-fanny in love with
you. And don’t worry

Just remember: about the groom − he’s

probably a bad ’un

It’s never what it looks like

anyway. Does he drive a
flashy car? Does he
sport slicked-back hair,
So you’ve been revving yourself up all day, and you’ve finally plucked up the courage to a s**t-eating grin and
march down to the object of your affection’s workplace and declare your love for her in sweaters tied around his
front of everyone. But as the lift doors swoosh open, you’re greeted with the sight of your neck? Does he refer to
beloved being twirled around by her dashing ex-boyfriend, Troy; she’s clutching flowers, his fiancé as “babes”,
all her colleagues are applauding and she’s gazing at a diamond ring on her hand, happy and frequently smack
tears streaking her beautiful face. her on the butt? Yeah,
Looks like you blew it, right? Left it too late to say your piece? Allowed Troy to swoop he’s a bad ’un. She’s
in, reclaim her love and make her his wife? Oh woe. Oh no. Oh f**k. totally dodging
But wait one sec! Remember: The romcom teaches us that it’s never what it looks like. a bullet.
Here’s what’s actually transpiring: Troy is visiting your beloved’s workplace to inform her
that he’s figured out he’s gay and he’s moving to Timbuktu tomorrow, so please could she
keep these flowers watered for him and also look after this ring, which was his great-
How this
grandma’s? might go
So although it may seem like all is lost, it most affirmatively ain’t. Now get back in there wrong
and give her your big ol’ slam-dunk of a love speech. This may result in
her being ostracised
How this might go wrong from all her family and
Sometimes… It’s not not what it looks like. If, for example, you find her giving him friends for the rest of
a hand job while he chews on her cheek, it might not be not what it looks like. It’s often her life. But hey, who
best to watch how a situation plays itself out, so that you don’t stride in there all needs them, right?
triumphant, only to be greeted with a face-full of your love-rival’s overflowing ecstacy. She’s got you now! FHM

056 06/14
06/14 057
 TH
THE
HOT
HOT
1O
1O It’s that awesome
time of year again;
our annual round-
up of the nation’s
hottest ladies
culminates in a
battle for the title of
FHM Model 2014.
Introducing our top
10 finalists — looks,
personality and
bangin’ bods, these
girls have got it all.
And it’s down to you
to pick a favourite.
Words Janine Lee Art direction Dannii Choo
Photography Kelvin Chia Styling Cheryl Chan

ALL LINGERIE, BY TRIUMPH. ALL SNEAKERS, BY CONVERSE. ALL

HEADBANDS, EARRINGS, GOLD BRACELETS & SOCKS, STYLIST’S OWN.

FROM LEFT TO RIGHT: FLEECE VARSITY JACKET, BY :CHOCOOLATE

FROM I.T. JEWELLERY AND DENIM SHORTS, ALL BY FOREVER 21.
EMBELLISHED SNAPBACK CAP, BY 77TH STREET. DENIM JACKET WITH
COTTON SLEEVES AND GOLD NECKLACES, ALL BY FOREVER 21.
SNAPBACK CAP WITH SLOGAN, BY 77TH STREET. FLEECE VARSITY
JACKET, BY :CHOCOOLATE FROM I.T. GOLD CHAIN NECKLACE & GOLD
RING, BOTH BY FOREVER 21. STRIPED COTTON CROP TOP,
SWEATSHIRT (TIED AROUND WAIST) AND GOLD NECKLACES, ALL BY
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NECKLACES, ALL BY FOREVER 21.
PRISCILIA

ART DIRECTION ASSISTANCE: PYRON TAN; HAIR: REDS

EILEEN

HAIRDRESSING; MAKEUP: MICHELLE CHIN/9154-0169 USING MAKE

UP FOR EVER & LIM HONG LING/9455-8681.

058 06/14
 MIKI ACE

MEGAN

HILDA

06/14
059
 SATIN BOMBER JACKET, BY FINGERCROXX,
CYCLING CAP, BY :CHOCOOLATE, BOTH FROM I.T.
GOLD JEWELLERY, GINGHAM COTTON SHORTS,
XIANG YU

SANDY

DENIM CROP TOP AND STRIPED COTTON CROP

TOP, ALL BY FOREVER 21.

060 06/14
KAREN

SHERYL

FRANCESCA
 ALL SWIMWEAR,
BY TRIUMPH. ALL
HEELS, BY
CHARLES & KEITH.

PRISCILIA
21, admin executive
Why should you win this
competition?
I have what it takes to be
the cover girl, I’m confident
and confidence is sexy.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Be supportive and
respectful.
You're invited to a costume
party. Who will you go as?
Beyonce because she cares
about women’s rights; she
has nice curves and is a
strong woman.
Where can we find you on
a Saturday night?
At home cooking
and baking.
Top three things for an
ideal man?
Ambitious, gentlemanly
and honest.
How would you react if
your boyfriend forgot
your birthday?
I’d be really upset but
confront him in a polite
manner to talk about it.
Then hire an assassin to kill
him, haha!

062 06/14
 MIKI ACE
21, freelance model
Why should you win this
competition?
I’ve worked hard and put a
lot of effort into this
competition. I’ve also got
the qualities to be the next
cover girl.
What is your secret talent?
I’m good at letting things
go. If something pisses me
off, I can forget about it an
hour later.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
He can bring me on a
holiday. I love experiencing
different cultures and
making friends all over
the world.
Where can we find you on a
Saturday night, and what
drink can we buy you?
I don’t like clubbing but I
love vodka. If you are a

EILEEN
20, student
fellow vodka buddy, you’re
welcome to chill with me.
What is your most
attractive feature?
Why should you win this My eyes. Even though I
competition? look fierce at times, they
I have the whole package! still reflect my sexy and
Sexy, confident, fun — you cheerful side.
name it.
What is your secret talent?
Playing the piano, I’m
currently taking a diploma
in that.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Give me a big, warm hug!
Where can we find you on a
Saturday night, and what
drink can we buy you?
It’s date night so probably
at a sushi restaurant or
some place like Timbre. As
for drinks, anything with
lemon in it will do.
Top three things for an
ideal man?
Tall, romantic and smart.
How would you react if
your boyfriend forgot your
birthday?
I’ll “forget” his birthday too!
What’s one thing in life
you cannot give up?
The ability to love.
 MEGAN
24, student
Why should you win this
competition?
I have what it takes to be
the cover girl since I’m sexy,
confident and fun-loving.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Be a good listener and
always there to support me.
Where can we find you on a
Saturday night, and what
drink can we buy you?
Probably Zouk, drinking a
lychee martini.
How would you react if
your boyfriend forgot
your birthday?
I would ask him for his
phone and set a reminder
on the date so he’ll never
forget again.
You're invited to a costume
party, who will you go as?
I’d show up in a Catwoman
outfit, as it’s super sexy!

064 06/14
 XIANG YU
23, student
Why should you win this
competition?
I think everyone who’s
joined deserves to win
because they’ve all put in
the effort.
What is your secret
talent?
Talent is overrated;
everything boils
down to hard work
and a little luck.
You're invited to a
costume party, who
will you go as?
I’ll dress as a doctor
because both smart
and sexy should go
hand-in-hand.
Top three things for an
ideal man?
Kind-hearted,

FRANCESCA
good-natured and
family-oriented.
Is bigger always better?
23, student Yes to a forgiving heart, no
Why should you win this to a bad temper.
competition? What’s one thing in life
I’m fun loving, naughty you cannot give up?
and nice. I want to live a meaningful
You’re invited to a costume life, make a difference to
party, who will you go as? the world and help the
Elektra, because red is such underprivileged — I don’t
a feisty, sexy colour, and see myself giving up
latex is just so kinky. Either this philosophy.
that or the Drow Ranger
from my favourite game,
DOTA (Defense of the
Ancients)!
Top three things on your
checklist for an ideal man?
Funny, patient and
generous. Generous both in
love and in bed!
Is bigger always better?
Everything is better if you
know how to use it right!
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Make me feel like the only
woman in his life — apart
from his mum.
What’s one thing in life
you cannot give up?
My grandmother’s delicious
Eurasian cooking.

06/14 065
 SANDY
23, freelance model
Why should you win this
competition?
I don’t want to disappoint
my supporters. I’ve got the
personality, attitude, looks
and body — what else do
you need?
What is one thing a guy can
do to make you happy?
Sincerity is more
than enough.
Where can we find you on a
Saturday night, and what
drink can we buy you?
I’m the stay-home type so a
nice movie, snacks and
cuddling in bed is paradise
for me. Bring some fresh
fruit juice and we’re good!
Top three things for an
ideal man?
He has to be sincere, honest
and hardworking.

KAREN
26, mechanical
engineer
Why should you win
this competition?
I’m here because it’s
unexpected and people would
never have thought I’d try out
for a competition like this.
What is your secret talent?
I can dance really sexily.
Top three things for an
ideal man?
The ability to cook, knowing
how to dress well, and having
a good career.
What is your most attractive
feature?
My smile which can also be
really goofy at times.
What’s one thing in life you
cannot give up?
My career, it’s really important
to me and I think ever woman
needs to have one.

066 06/14
SHERYL
21, student
Why should you win this
competition?
I’ve got a versatile look and
I’ve been told I can pass as
Korean, Taiwanese and even
pan-Asian. I'd like to inspire
other women to embrace
their sexy, sultry side.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Accompany me shoe
shopping! People say it’s
bad luck to buy shoes for
your loved ones as they’ll
walk away from you — but
trust me, if you buy me
shoes, I’ll walk towards you!
What is your most
attractive feature?
My smile; it’s a woman’s
best accessory.
What’s one thing in life
you cannot give up?
My dreams. Whatever the
mind can believe and
conceive, it can achieve.

HILDA
24, graduate
Why should you win this
competition?
I’m coming out of my shell
and doing something I’d
never dreamt of doing.
I guess I deserve points
for bravery.
What is your secret talent?
I’m good with animals, I
find it easier to connect with
them than humans.
What is one thing a guy
can do to make you happy?
Buy me my favourite food.
You're invited to a costume
party, who will you go as?
Sadako from The Ring
because I’ve always wanted
to dress up as something
creepy and unexpected.
How would you react if
your boyfriend forgot
your birthday?
I’d plan something fun to do
together. I’m actually totally
okay with not having a
surprise on my birthday.
Is bigger always better?
A bigger heart is more
important than a
bigger wallet. FHM

06/14 067
 SEX & TECH

THE DOS
AND
DON’TS
OF SEX
AND
TECH
As technology gets ever more
complex, so do our sex lives,
and the number of ways to put
your foot (and penis) wrong in
the bedroom.
Words FHM UK Photography Jay Mawson

068 06/14
 9%
of people admitted to
using their smartphone
during sex
2013 Mobile Consumer
Habits survey

DON’T
check e-mails in bed
DO DON’T
A survey conducted by
mysinglefriend.com become an e-Casanova
discovered that 77 per cent of take tech infidelity
women have been annoyed by a
seriously
man using a phone or tablet after Hitting on girls over the
sex. The truth is, if your phone’s Internet is all well and good,
resting place is a foot from your but don’t let it become a
pillow, you’re going to be According to the replacement for honest-to-God,
reaching for it the moment you’ve mysinglefriend.com survey, meat-and-potatoes social activity,
got nothing (or no one) to do. 80 per cent of guys have flirted unless you want to become
“Don’t underestimate how with people over social media. It’s seriously socially handicapped.
important paying your lady some a normal thing to do in the 21st “Apps like Tinder take away the
attention after sex is,” says Jo century. Yet you should be very nuances of asking someone out,”
Hudson, founder of online sex careful about what your thumbs says medical-show host Dr
shop kink.com. “It’s an get up to if you’re already in a Christian Jessen. “The fact
evolutionary legacy to do with relationship. there’s no sexual body language
securing the bond and ensuring “My definition is this: If your to pick up on means we’re losing
their partner doesn’t skip off with partner could see you now, would our ability to read and perceive
the next available female. If they be upset?” states Cox. “We the subtleties of unspoken
you’re gagging to check your have to be very specific to our messages.”
phone, wait for a trip to the partners about what we will and Sex expert Tracey Cox can see
bathroom or to the kitchen to won’t accept. Define what a plus side, however. “The good
make tea, or even her falling ‘faithful’ means to you. In the old thing is that it cuts out the
asleep — contrary to popular days, it was as simple as ‘you’re dishonesty of meeting someone
opinion, it tends to be the girls not allowed to kiss anyone’. Now at a bar and pretending it’s more
who snooze first.” it’s a lot more complicated.” than a one-night stand.”

06/14 069
 DO
gett th
the video
id

camera involved

Nervous about asking your

significant other to star in a
bit of filmic sleaze with you?
She might be more open-minded
than you assume. A 2013 survey
found that 40 per cent of women
have made a DIY sex tape with
an ex or a current partner. “My
inbox is full of e-mails from
women saying it’s them who want
to try new things,” says sex expert
Tracey Cox. “It’s been mainly like
that since Fifty Shades of Grey.”

DON’T
let an adult-film star

get you down

One consequence of
unlimited porn is that men
are left feeling inadequate
next to the likes of adult-film
stars and their 8.5-inch schlongs.
“Porn is having a massive effect
DO
on young men’s confidence,” says
Dr Christian Jessen. “Pretty much
anyone watching will feel that take sexy pictures
way because it’s almost like
cartoon sex. The willies are the
(just be careful with ’em)
biggest you can find. As a result,
the requests for penis
enlargements have increased Exchanging mucky pics with an equally in your trouser-rocket gracing countless
largely in men. It’s also led to an horned-up lady friend is one of the great joys revenge sites?
increase in erectile dysfunction of 21st-century life. It’s often a little one-sided “If you want to take photos of you or your partner,
medications. Poor teenage boys – girls have boob, bum cheek and mimsy to work that’s fine,” says sex expert Tracey Cox. “But do it on
are watching huge guys having with, whereas you’re pretty much limited to knob a different device from your phone — even if you’ve
overly aggressive sex and are shots – but lotsa fun. Be careful out there, been married 20 years. You’ll forget they’re on the
thinking, ‘Oh s**t, I can’t do though. Are you sure that she’s not forwarding phone, be showing off your holiday pics, then swipe
that!’ Now, the idea of what is your eager boner on to her giggling girlfriends? on to a shot of the pair of you 69ing on the
average and what is normal Are you certain any future bust-ups won’t result living-room carpet.”
has been completely twisted.”

night that he let his me like that, and I hate the

True story! friends go through his
phone. They saw all
idea that they were laughing
at me. I did think about

71% My nude pics went viral

Tash, 23
“My bloke and I had been
the photos, showed
them around the table and
sent them on.
“I only found out when a
finishing with my boyfriend,
but decided in the end it was
just a stupid, drunken
mistake − at least it better
together a few years so few of them asked what have been. He’s asked me to
of women have flirted with sometimes I’d send him underwear I was wearing. send him pictures again, but
someone over social media pictures of my boobs. I was devastated. It was there’s no way that would
MySingleFriend.com survey “He got so wasted one horrible knowing they’d seen ever happen!”

070 06/14
 DR JESSEN’S
FOUR WAYS
TO PERFORM
LIKE A
BONGO STAR

01
Be a realist
“Triple-X scenes are
often filmed over the
course of a few days.
The ‘money shot’
can also be
faked entirely.”

02
Stay healthy
“Smoking, alcohol and
lack of sleep have a
massive effect on our
sexual health. One of
the most common
problems that
contributes towards
erectile dysfunction is
the effect of excess
weight around our
middle. Eat less, cut
down on your drink
and exercise more.
It produces
testosterone, which
increases your sex
drive and your
hard-on.”

03
Live on the edge
“You can train
yourself to last longer
in bed. With
premature ejaculation,
the problem is that
you lose control. Try
the stop-start

DON’T technique, where you

build yourself up to
the point of orgasm,
tweet about a
before stopping for a
while. It teaches you
one-night stand to identify the edge

DON’T Surprise (and fully

of your safety zone
and extend it.”
use emojis
consensual) sex with
someone you’ve only met is a 04
very personal experience. And Cheat with
in sex texts with some courage and daring extra help
knee touching, miracles can “There are numbing
You can write it the
th mostt happen. But if you tweet “smell creams, delaying
seductive, moisture-inducing my fingers lol” the next day, the sprays and extra-thick
sex text in the world, but if you universe will bite you on the a**e, condoms. There are
finish it with a winky face in ensuring your brag-tweet finds also legal medications
sunglasses, you may as well be its way to said girl. Result? She that will prevent you
sending her a Snapchat of you never bites you on the a**e, from ejaculating for
getting off to Teletubbies. The ever again. FHM a long time, if at all
image you’re looking to project is — which isn’t
rugged, growly sex-man, not always good.”
giggling schoolgirl.

06/14 071
 LUCY WATSON

LET’S TALK
Britain’s poshest reality-TV star, Lucy Watson, answers our big questions about sex.

072 06/14
ABOUT SEX
And she’s not shy about it… Words Dan Jude Photography Zoe McConnell Styling Kylie Griffiths

HAIR & MAKEUP: NAT S

USING SMASHBOX AND
DOUVALL’S ORGANIC ARGAN
OIL MOISTURISER.

06/14 073
 LUCY WATSON

Your boyfriends on your was just very out there. I confident I do take control, first day they gave me
reality show have been was quite slutty when I and I do like to enjoy that homework, and I was like,
mega-posh. Would you was younger, but now I’m side of things. I need “Screw this, I’m leaving.”
ever go out with someone not like that. On the slutty someone who can keep up. Then Made in Chelsea
who wasn’t so well-to-do? scale, I’d say I’m now a How different is the (about posh young things)
Yeah, I would. I’m not sure three out of 10. version of you on screen approached me and I
if my parents would Have you ever had a from the real you? thought, “This is sweet.
approve, but if I really like one-night stand? For a start, away from the I get to be on TV and be
the guy then I wouldn’t No, never. show, I don’t go out. Ever. myself and do whatever
really care. What about the walk Why? I want to do!”
Do you have to “posh-up” of shame? Mainly because I don’t If Made in Chelsea
for the show? I’ve done it, but only from really like people, but also hadn’t come along, would
No. I’m just pretty posh. my boyfriend’s house. because I do stupid things you have still been an
Have the producers asked Do you still have that when I’m drunk. estate agent?
you to do anything else in rebellious streak? Do you wake up after a No, I’d still be trying to act.
the name of good reality There’s a side to me that night out and have that This is your first-ever sexy
TV? Kiss a girl, perhaps? comes out when I’m with “what-the-f**k-did-I-just- shoot. How did you find it?
I don’t know if that’s my someone. I enjoy the sexual do” moment? To be honest, I love this kind
bag really. I am the most side of things. I never regret anything, of thing. I’m the girl who,
straight girl. I’ve just never Do you think girls are as because I always think, when I have a boyfriend, I
thought about a girl in that dirty as boys? “I did that.” But I’m also will dress up as a sexy
way, at all. I think girls are more like, “Would I have done police officer without them
Have you always been a confident than guys. Guys that if I’d been sober?” even asking me to. That’s
bit naughty? like to dip their dicks in Probably not. the kind of thing I do
Yes, but mainly because it lots of different vaginas. I What were you doing because I enjoy that
was more of a rebellious have no idea why, and before the show? side – being feminine and
thing. I got my belly button that’s not what girls are I was working as an estate embracing my femininity.
pierced when I was 13. I like. If they’re with agent for a while, but I Is that the sexiest outfit
was running away from someone, they want to have always wanted to act. I you’ve ever worn?
home left, right and centre. fun, to experiment. I find went to acting school when I think so. My ex-boyfriend
I knew all the older boys. I that because I’m so I was younger but on the was a rugby player and

074 06/14
he’d go on tour all the time.
One time I knew he was
coming back and he’d had a
really rough time, so I
dressed up in a police-
woman outfit, with a
truncheon and everything,
the hat, the skirt that
barely covered my bum. I
“Girls are
was wearing heels, too. I definitely more
was lying on his bed on my
front with my legs up, and
confident than
he walked in and just went, guys in bed.”
“Oh my gosh!” I love that
satisfaction. I like to please.
I’ve dressed as an elf.
Can an elf outfit ever
be sexy?
Yeah, I was, trust me.
Especially with the other
gift I gave my boyfriend at
the time…
Which was?
A book, called The Blowjob
Book, and I let him pick
three of his choice. I can’t
remember exactly what
they were, but one involved
ice cubes, and one of them
was called “the goddess
blowjob”, where you
pretend you’re a goddess
flicking your hair out.
There were so many
different types. I know a lot
of girls who don’t really like
doing it but, if I’m with
someone, I want to please
them as much as possible.
You’ve posted a lot of sexy
selfies. Do you think the
selfie has gone too far?
I do. When you look back
and show your kids
pictures of your life and
your memories and they’re
all selfies, they’ll be like,
“Oh, great life!” But people
seem to like them, so I give
the people what they want.
I’m just trying to help, one
selfie at a time.
Your latest offering is the
“belfie” — the bum selfie…
Yeah, I did one recently
because I was so pissed off.
I put up this picture before
and people were telling me
that I didn’t have an a**e,
that I was “flat as a
pancake”… B***h, please!
So I was like, “F**k this
s**t, I’m gonna take a
picture of my a**e.”
Have you got any celeb
crushes?
I think Tinie Tempah is hot.
And Harry Styles. I didn’t
think he was hot until I
watched the One Direction
movie. FHM

06/14 075
 LUCY WATSON

Caviar or chips?
I love both, but I’ll go for chips.
Posh 0 – 1 Not Posh

“There’s a side
to me that comes
out when I’m
Champagne or cava?
Oh, champagne. I’m allergic to
with someone.
cava. I come up in hives. I enjoy the sexual
Posh 2 – 1 Not Posh side of things…”
Rugby or football?
Rugby. My ex used to play rugby
and I’d go to all his games.
Posh 3 – 1 Not Posh

Vodka: Grey Goose or

Glen’s?
Grey Goose every time. I don’t
even know what Glen’s is.
Posh 4 – 1 Not Posh

Taxi or tube?
I haven’t got the tube at all in the
past two years, so taxi. I think my
travel card has expired.
Posh 5 – 1 Not Posh

David Cameron or David

Beckham?
Neither! David Beckham is
cheap and David Cameron is a
boring sod. I don’t really care
about politics. I hate
taxes, though.
Posh 6 – 1 Not Posh

French knickers or Bridget

Jones pants?
French knickers. I like Calvin
Klein, Victoria’s Secret and
thongs. My a**e eats pants, so I’d
rather just have a thong.
Posh 7 – 1 Not Posh

Polo or greyhound racing?

Polo. I’ve never watched any
greyhound racing.
Posh 8 – 1 Not Posh

Jolly hockey sticks to the ready:

Lucy Watson is most definitely
posh through-and-through.

076 06/14
06/14 077
LUCY WATSON

“I like going on
food blogs and
trying out recipes,
and making lots of
cakes and cookies
that I usually end
up giving to my
boyfriend.”
06/14 079
 must-knows for
10 the month ahead

TV

DEADLIEST CATCH
Stop moaning about your job. These guys have it tougher!
Bad day at the office?
Take solace knowing
“Every day is f***ed shut down, you go delirious, you
pee your pants and, well, it gets
that whatever crap your up out here [in sea]… pretty serious.
9-5 job threw at you, it’s
nothing compared to
One time I saw a guy When were you last stressed out?
Remember when the US government
Captain Johnathan blow his hand up.” shut down last year? Well, the State
Hillstrand, boss of looks after our fisheries, and we need
king-crab vessel Time Bandit in the other crews already this season. But paperwork from them to complete our
sea-faring reality mega-hit pulling a guy from another boat out of job. We needed just one piece of paper
Deadliest Catch… the water, alive, was the best day ever. but couldn’t get it. Every day that
What scares you most about went by without it, I was losing
Ahoy, Captain Hillstrand. Where are the ocean? $75,000. In the end, the shutdown
you calling us from? When you’re in the middle of a storm took $18.5 million off the price of
[Through a crackly line] I’m on the with 100mph winds tossing you our crab.
Bering Sea right now. It’s about zero around, you realise how small and How do you keep morale up in
degrees outside, with 40mph winds insignificant you are. You’re less your job?
and 20ft waves. A pretty normal day important than a grain of sand. The We’re always pranking each other to
at the office, really. ocean is my boss, and it does exactly get through the day. We really bust the
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOS: DISCOVERY CHANNEL

Is that an easy day for you? what it wants. greenhorns [new crew members], and
Every day is f***ed up out here. One You’ve been doing this since you we’re always telling jokes, especially
of the worst days was when I saw my were 17. Seasickness isn’t an issue ones that are politically incorrect or a
brother get hurt, and another time I for you, right? “Yo momma” kind. It’s non-stop.
saw a guy blow his hand up. Of course it is. I still get it, but it’s far
What are the best days? worse than normal seasickness. You Catch Deadliest Catch Season 9 every
The main goal is to bring the crew tear up and it hurts so bad. If you Fri, 10pm on Discovery Channel
home safe. We lost two blokes from puke too much, your kidneys start to (Starhub Ch 422).

080 06/14
 BIG
SHOWS
Hug your screens ’cos here
are three on-screen events
you don’t want to miss.

Say
Hello
To… FARGO
Adapted from the Coen brothers’
film, get ready as loon Billy Bob
Thornton crazies up the
TV dysfunctional town with gormless
hobbit Martin Freeman.

DERMOT
MULRONEY
What happens when a busload of kids with powerful
parents gets abducted? The leading man in TV thriller,
Crisis, clues us in.

What attracted you to Crisis’ script? As a father, did filming Crisis resonate
me
What sold me is the part where I had to cut with you because of its subject matter? Welccok…
my own pinkie off. Crisis seems like a big It was an easy way into the character for Ba
24
story with important people and a terrible me. All parents would have a very intimate Jack “The Power” Bauer returns
crisis that’s playing out in the media, but level of understanding for the story because to crush terrorists in real time, this
believe me, it’s a lot worse than it seems. It’s that is the pressing question: How far time in London. Look out for
epic story with great plot twists and would a parent go to protect his child? Dexter’s Yvonne Strahovski sexing
up the capital city.
cloak-and-dagger stuff, whic is what makes What would you do if asked? At several
watching it fun. times in the series, you will see people
What was it like getting a pinkie cut off? pushed to their limit.
It took a little extra time in the makeup With so many thrillers on TV right now,
department. Most days, I had to tie it down how does Crisis stand out?
with gauze. It was interesting at first but I’m not too sure about the other shows, but
we shot the show over several months, so it what’s so different about Crisis is how
got tedious after a while. It’s very global the plot becomes. It’s not just a story
impacting in the first episode and it does that takes place on a bus in DC; it has great
play into the story later on. repercussions across the world. You’ll
Is that the worst that happens to your always be left surprised and wondering
on-screen character? what’s coming next.
Not nearly — you can’t imagine what goes Ever thought of writing about your
down. What my character, Francis Gibson, experiences in Hollywood?
goes through and puts others through I’ve never really thought about that. I saw
makes for really compelling TV. some of the young actors on Crisis having Bid ll
e
How did you get into character? the rest of the cast sign their names on farew…
to
I’ve played a lot of smart and dumb guys, their scripts, and I thought: If only I had MAD MEN
(Now showing on FX)
but Gibson is truly a genius, so that was done that all those decades ago, it’d have
Shed a tear as the slickest man in
WORDS: JANINE LEE & FHM UK

fun to explore in my imagination. And as been a nice souvenir. TV, Don Draper, bows out. This
the writers kept giving me further parts of seventh and final season is split
the story, I was always on a one-track mind Crisis is showing on Thu, 9.50pm on over two years, so the last
trying to figure out the man that they were Fox (SingTel mio TV Ch330 and goodbye will be in 2015.
writing for me. That was a fun challenge. StarHub TV Ch505).

06/14 081
 FILTER

DVD

DON’T
PISS
’EM OFF
Heroes with issues.
The Hunger Games:
Catching Fire
Who’s bad? Bow-and-arrow-
wielding Katniss Everdeen
(Jennifer Lawrence)
Why’s she mad? Our heroine
is in a dilemma: To lie that her
MUSIC
Hunger Games win was motivated by carnal
love rather than defiance against the system,

PARKLIFE
or face a family massacre.
If you get your kicks from: Reality TV and
the Olympics.

Firestorm
The album that changed Britpop. Who’s bad? Senior police
inspector Lui (Andy Lau)
Why’s he mad? Someone’s
been turning the streets
Twenty years ago, Britain was on the cusp of catapulted Blur to rock-royalty status. Sure, it of Hong Kong into their
massive change. Tony Blair had become didn’t create the Britpop genre, but it wasn’t own playground by pulling
leader of the Labour Party, the Sony until after the album, filled with anthems like an armoured car heist and flashing their
PlayStation had just launched and, most Girls & Boys and This Is a Low, that doors arsenal around.
depressingly, it was a pop-chart cheese-fest. started to open for other acts like Pulp and If you get your kicks from: Heat (1995)
Love Is All Around by Wet Wet Wet was in the Oasis. Twenty years on, the album is the and Halo.
top spot and Britain was gasping for a benchmark of ’90s music.
musical identity makeover. “It proved that to be a success you didn’t Homefront
Finally, a light appeared at the end of the have to be a pop band or an asinine rock Who’s bad? Phil Broker
tunnel in the form of Blur and its third album, band. It was this cool, artistic record that (Jason Statham), former
Parklife. This would change everything. managed to tap into the masses,” Lamacq drug-enforcement agent
Nineties’ musical tastemaker and BBC tells FHM. “It was intelligent and defined, but Why’s he mad? To escape
Radio’s music supremo Steve Lamacq people could sing it on the terraces. And that his troubled past, our hero
remembers it well. “We were hankering after doesn’t happen very often. I’m not sure if moves to a small town only to
something closer to home, to have our own there’s anyone that’s around on that level or get suckered back into action by a pesky
heroes. Parklife took Britpop outside of scale any more.” drug kingpin (James Franco).
everything it had achieved before. It was the If you get your kicks from: Rambo (1982)
turning point of a cult musical movement that Britpop at the BBC celebrates 20 years of and flannel shirts.
previously didn’t really know what it was.” Britpop. Listen to the programmes on
The album topped the British charts and www.bbc.co.uk Tom Yum Goong 2
Who’s bad? Animal lover
Steve Lamacq’s Essential Britpop Albums Kham (Tony Jaa).
Why’s he mad? Our
daredevil protagonist’s pet
elephant has been kidnapped,
Parklife by Blur Different Class (What’s The I Should Coco by Elastica by making him a very angry man.
“Modern Life Is by Pulp Story) Morning Supergrass Elastica Judging from Jaa’s previous slugfests,
Rubbish was the “It was dignified Glory? “A testimony to “The songs never including Ong-bak 1, 2 and 3, there is no
WORDS: DENNIS YIN AND FHM UK

start of the story, pop music that by Oasis the youthful outstayed their
but Parklife was didn’t sound “The songs just excitement welcome. For a guessing what happens next.
what sold Blur in. cheap, even if become a part of Britpop. All while Justine If you get your kicks from: The Raid
Even now it’s a some of the stuff of you and you the songs felt Frischmann (2011) and Animal Planet.
record for UK they had to use can listen to like they were was everyone’s
bands to aspire to.” was cheap.” them forever.” about you.” Debbie Harry.”
All titles are available on Blu-ray and DVD.

082 06/14
 FLEMING
GIRLS
Behind every man is a
handful of ladies…

SOCIALITE ANN O’NEIL

TV (LARA PULVER)
“They have an extraordinarily

FLEMING: volatile relationship — it is

dangerously and intensely
physical. … Very energetic,
sexual and fiery.”

THE MAN WHO

WOULD BE BOND
The creator of 007 gets his own show. Dominic Cooper,
the man who plays him, talks about getting into the role. DISPATCH
COURIER MURIEL
(ANNABELLE WALLIS)
What was your initial reaction to being family connections finally landed him a “Muriel is this fantastic, sexy
cast as Ian Fleming? job with the secret service. Suddenly his courier in her leathers that
I love fighting for the role, auditioning vivid imagination came to life and Fleming would usually find,
and having to show your take on who this he had a very different take on how to win pick up and treat appallingly
person is. I know that I’m a very different the war, where, it becomes quite apparent, for a couple of nights. But she
person in terms of looks, so I always no one really had a clue. I’ve met various wakes up in his bed and they
questioned whether I’d be their choice, but people who have some sort of connection start a relationship.”
I thought the best way to approach this to the spying world and they talked of
was to have an understanding of who Fleming and said he was the real deal.
Fleming saw himself as being, rather than What are some characteristics Fleming
who he was… Sometimes there’s just a real shared with James Bond?
ease in portraying someone; you feel You can see where Bond has come from,
yourself getting into their skin very easily and what we have done is create someone
and you do things that are quite slightly darker and nastier than the man
unexpected. It’s a fun role to play — who Bond has become now. The only huge MUMMY DEAREST
layered and there’s an element of darkness difference is that our man is flawed and EVELYN FLEMING
about him, which I think very few people that he fails. (LESLEY MANVILLE)
knew about. Why is Fleming’s story worth telling? “I know people who have
Talk us through the period in which Anyone’s life can be compelling if relationship with their mothers
Fleming is placed. portrayed in the right way, but this man that are just agony, seething
and painful because they feel
It’s funny, because we have a warped idea had a story unlike anyone else — from
so under the microscope and
of what it was like living through WWII, where he came from and the failure he
like absolute failures; that’s
which we enter at the end of episode one. thought he was; to the war, discovering
how Fleming constantly felt.”
We hear what it was like on the front, his genius and then writing the books
fighting, and we read the letters, but in a that became the biggest film franchise
situation like that, people lived in the ever. Even if you’re not a Bond fan, it’s
moment. For many, it was the discovery of certainly compelling. You see all those
themselves. People were living their lives references and where the inspiration
to the full, so it’s a wonderful place to have comes from, but actually, just as a love
a story unfolding: Carefree but terrifying story, it’s beautiful, touching and very
at the same time. sad. A story about war and loss, and a
OFFICER MONDAY
What changes did Fleming go through man who was a genuine failure in many
(ANNA CHANCELLOR)
within the series? ways; who had a dark side but at the same “We had a relationship that
It seems as though he’d had quite a time was a very special artist who made a was written to be quite sexual.
troubled youth, although it had been very big impact. Just how we were together,
WORDS & PHOTOS:KIX & KIX HD

privileged: He’d been to Eton and was there was something much
asked to leave Sandhurst for bad Fleming — The Man Who Would Be Bond more intriguing and fun that
behaviour. He was ultimately an artist who is showing exclusively on KIX (StarHub was playing, that wasn’t just
had a chaotic and inspired mind, but Ch 518) and KIX HD (SingTel mioTV Ch his seductive side.”
didn’t know what direction to go in. His 309) every Thu, 10pm, from 5 Jun.

06/14 083
 FILTER
You’re supposed to freak
out when you graduate.
Everything you’ve worked
towards, the late-night
REASON TO BE GLEEFUL.
writing sessions, the
early-morning lectures and
the constant student
boozing, all boils down to
one thing: Collecting that
little scroll of paper that
says, “You did it, pal! Well
done!” in front of hundreds
of classmates without
falling on your face. It’s the
final test that proves you’re
suitable for release into the
big bad world.

GLEE

THE FAMILY

But imagine how freaked

out Dianna Agron must’ve
been with the added
pressure of graduating
from hit US sing-a-thon
Glee to the major Hollywood
leagues alongside film
legends Robert De Niro,
Michelle Pfeiffer and
Tommy Lee Jones. That’s
who she’s hanging with in
mafia film The Family, in
which ex-don De Niro rats
out his criminal cronies and
relocates his family to
France to stop them
getting offed.
Instead of berets,
WOMAN baguettes and baskets on
bicycles, his daughter,
played by Agron, ups her

DIANNA
badass rating by terrorising
the locals, in particular one
letchy ginger kid who
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOS: TPG IMAGES/CLICK PHOTOS

receives a tennis racket

beatdown. If you like
your girls feisty and

AGRON
Welcome this Glee-ful girl in your family.
almost painfully
pretty, you won’t get
any better than this.

The Family is
available on Blu-ray
and DVD.

084 06/14
 BEST OF THE REST
Can’t get enough of funny
people? We’ve got more to share.

GLOZELL GREEN
http://www.youtube.com/user/
glozell1
If you’re a big fan of the ridiculous, GloZell
is all about providing entertainment at the
expense of making a fool of herself. Our
favourites are the cinnamon challenge and
her parodies of popular music videos.

COMEDY

PETER JENNAMARBLES
http://www.youtube.com/user/
JennaMarbles

CHAO’S How can we not love a babe who’s hot,

funny and isn’t afraid to laugh at herself?
From hilarious tutorials to girl decoding

TOUR
It’s racially funny. Just don’t
videos, we look forward to her newly
uploaded videos every Wednesday, a
segment she names “Sexual Wednesday”.

take it too seriously.

YouTube comic Peter Chao makes his debut in Singapore. Just in case you’re
missing out on the jokes, FHM has compiled a list of his funniest videos and
some useful pointers we’ve picked up.

HOW TO IMPRESS ASIAN GIRLS CHINESE GUY SAYS ASIAN HOW IT SHOULD HAVE ENDED
http://www.youtube.com/ WOMEN DON’T SHAVE http://www.youtube.com/user/
watch?v=YfigkD66YpQ www.youtube.com/ HISHEdotcom
If you can’t stand the sight of your good- watch?v=FgnnkBcQYQ0 Don’t like how some of your favourite
looking foreign colleague cosying up to your You know how there’s this saying about movies end? How It Should Have Ended
eye candy, all you have to do is teach him a not dropping your bar of soap in the gives you alternative endings that are ridden
thing or two of Chao’s impressionable tricks. shower when you’re in the army? Well, with humour. Because why the hell not?
Note: Works best after lunch. here’s a better reason on why you really
shouldn’t use soap bars.
HOW TO PICK UP GIRLS
www.youtube.com/ HOW TO GET LAID! (CHINESE
watch?v=T3Xg-s3gV8o GUY’S WAY)
It’s tested and proven — pick-up lines aren’t http://www.youtube.com/
the most effective way to get a girl, watch?v=FYsF4ItMTu4
especially if they’re cheesy and dripping Being orally stimulated isn’t as simple a
with desperation. Although we have to task as the good “ol’ ask and ye shall WONG FU PRODUCTIONS
admit, some of Chao’s are pretty damn receive” method. So if it’s been a dry spell http://www.youtube.com/user/
witty. But still… between your partner and you, this video WongFuProductions
offers the secret to getting your partner to It’s almost hard to find quality videos that
CHINESE GUY’S MOM IS A B*TCH willingly go down on you. P.S. It helps if are not only entertainingly funny but are
http://www.youtube.com/ you don’t give your wiener a nickname. also well thought out. Injected with comedic
watch?v=MVchQI1cKwM elements, we’re definitely fans of works like
WORDS: DENNIS YIN

We’re inclined to believe that mothers are Peter Chao’s Asian Domination Tour “Who pays on a first date?” and “Is it creepy
mystical creatures who have a way of happens 28 Jun, 7pm at UCC Concert or romantic?”.
knowing everything we’re up to. Hall. Tickets from www.eventclique.com

06/14 085
 FILTER

BRUMBIE’S WINGER
JOE TOMANE (WITH BALL)
IN ACTION.

MUSIC

POOLSIDE
RADIO
Throw an ’80s pool party
in your living room.

Marty Bell, 23, has made a website so

full of audio and visual awesomeness
S P O RT S
it’ll cannonball you to legendary party
status. Let him prove why you should

WORLD
ditch your tired playlist and plug into
Poolside Radio…

Tell us about what you have done.

I made poolside.fm, a site that plays a

CLUB 10S
stream of super-summery beats, from
Hall & Oates to Pnau, paired with
cheesed-out ’80s VHS visuals full of jet
skis, neon volleyball and that Phoebe
Cates scene from Fast Times at
Tough guys play rugby. Ridgemont High. I just wanted
something that oozed happiness and
Rugby fans, get ready for a world-class summer vibes.
touchdown as the World Club10s makes its Why should everyone get on board
debut in Singapore. The sports with the ’80s-party vibe?
extravaganza sees top pro club teams For me, it’s a natural progression
including the Brumbies, Australia’s most from electronic music. It’s hard not to
successful Super Rugby franchise, fall in love with a sound that’s so
competing against each other in a series of reminiscent of summer.
20-minute games (12 pool matches on What else is essential for an ’80s
Day 1 and 12 knockout matches on Day 2). pool party?
Fringe events to keep everyone entertained Margaritas and at least 100 sexy
include amateur club tournaments, music friends. If there’s a white Ferrari
and lifestyle attractions. Testarossa on the drive, make sure
The World Club 10s also happens to be I’m invited.
the first sports event to kick off the new Give us three must-hear tracks from
55,000-seater National Stadium at the your site.
Singapore Sports Hub, so it doesn’t get Talking Box by Mam, Pizza Guy by
WORDS: DENNIS YIN AND FHM UK

bigger than this. Touch Sensitive and the Monte remix

of Jay West and Manuel Sahagun’s
ALEX CUTHBERT (LEFT), The World Cup 10s takes place Got Me Insane. If these don’t have
A CARDIFF BLUES STANDOUT 21-22 Jun at the new National Stadium. people dancing, your bash is in
AND WALES INTERNATIONAL.
Visit www.worldclub10s.com for more info. serious trouble.

086 06/14
 BOOKS

OUT WITH IT: HOW

PICK ME UP
LOOK WHO’S BACK HAUNTED EMPIRE: THE MURDER BAG THE GOOD LUCK
STUTTERING TIMUR VERMES APPLE AFTER TONY PARSONS OF RIGHT NOW
HELP ME FIND The Führer is back STEVE JOBS Author Parson’s MATTHEW QUICK
MY VOICE and furious — not YUKARI debut foray into With the passing of
KATHERINE only because his IWATANI KANE crime thriller is his only kin,
PRESTON country is now run If you’re hoping to gripping from the mummy’s boy
Like the light at the by a woman and find from this book get go. The closer Bartholomew Neil
end of a tunnel, the filled with clues to future of detective Max Wolfe puts his life back
author’s first-hand immigrants, but also Apple or its next is to uncovering the into motion with the
account uncovers because no one revolutionary mastermind behind help of Richard Gere
the obstacles of believes he is Adolf gadget, then you’re the massacre of seven (yup, the actor),
stuttering, from the Hitler. In fact, doing a MH370. filthy rich friends, whom he sincerely
most mundane of everyone thinks he What you have here, the tighter the noose believes shares a
tasks to gnawing is an impersonator though, are some is tied around his cosmic connection
self-consciousness who refuses to break interesting — and neck. A compelling with him. Follow
and how she character. This often critical — read with a the protagonist’s
courageously dealt results in the titbits into the convincing plot line journey of self-
with them. Aptly ex-dictator becoming corporation and its that weaves right inquiry and
titled, this poignant a YouTube sensation. workings post-Steve into your mind. We realisation in this
read ends with a Politically incorrect Jobs. Avoid the can’t wait for more in endearing read with
powerful conclusion but full of fun. Apple-is-doomed this crime series. an unconventional
— to rise above your Haunted Empire if narrative (each
deficiencies and not you’re a sucker for chapter is penned
let them define you. the brand. like a letter).
WORDS: GLADYS GOH. PHOTOGRAPHY: KELVIN CHIA

06/14 087
DON’T JUST GO
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06/14
PULSE
05 PETER CHUA
Get beind the bar with the
star bartender from 28
Hong Kong Street.

10 DRINKS SPECIAL
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30 FOOTBALL
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The world’s greatest sports
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HEDONISM
22 STAYCATION
This upscale hotel is not
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05/14 003
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 THE
T H E MAN BEHIND YOUR FAVOURITE TIPPLE

BICEPS FOR FLIPPING!

Golden
Hands

PETER
CHUA
FHMM finds out from the
28 Hong Kong Street
(28HKS) bartender
how guys like him are
revolutionising the art
of drinking.
Words Janine Lee
Art direction Pyron Tan
Photography Roy Lim

06/14 005
 PULSE
With new watering
holes popping up
every other month,
it takes something
truly special to
make a bar stand out.
While ambience, décor and
location are important, all
of it are worth naught if
they can’t provide the most
vital element — brilliant
cocktails. And bartenders
like 28HKS’s Peter Chua
are giving drinkers that.
Armed with a keen
knowledge of the good
stuff, Chua combines
technique and creativity
with a charismatic flair
that makes him exciting to
watch behind the bar.
Speaking almost as fast as
he can shake a cocktail,
the enthusiasm for his
craft really comes through,
“I’m constantly learning
life skills here, like
flavour pairings that can
be applied to cooking. It’s
interesting, it drives me,
it gives me a goal and I “Prior to
just happen to make working at
money off it, too.”
Suddenly, it’s not hard to 28HKS, I was
see why the 26-year-old is working at
clubs, and all I
a strong contender at the
2014 Diageo Reserve
World Class Southeast knew were
‘waterfalls’ and
Asia Finals and changing
the way we look at bar
culture — one stellar drink
at a time.
kamikaze shots.”
How did you get started in
bartending?
My career really began
two-and-a-half years ago
when I started work at
28HKS. Prior to this, I was
working at clubs and all I
knew were “waterfalls” and
kamikaze shots. I hadn’t
realise I could do so many
things with alcohol. When I learn is by imitation, so and have stood the test of That was it; an experiment.
came here, I realised there that’s what I did at first. time. However, some guests I’m keen to try mushroom
was a certain level of skill Slowly, curiosity and prefer obscure flavours and water (the liquid you get
needed for the craft. I learnt creativity set in; you read we cater to that. We create a from boiling mushrooms)
about flavour pairings and more, learn more and then bespoke drink according to next. The challenge is in
how to read between the evolve from what you’ve their flavour profile. finding the flavours that
lines of what a customer is been taught. What’s the strangest thing will match it nicely.
saying; plus the technical Do you usually create you’ve put into a cocktail? Ever taken a sip of
bits about alcohol and the drinks on the fly? Chilli bak kwa. It was anything and spat it out?
history behind each spirit. As much as we create Chinese New Year and My own drink — during
When did you start drinks on the fly pretty Chinatown is just down the experiments. But I would
developing your own style? much every night, we also street. We were bored and never do that at someone’s
[28HKS head barman] like to recommend drinks decided to see if we could bar, even if I don’t like the
Michael Callahan nurtured off the menu first for one use bak kwa to fat-wash drink. I’d just tell them
my original style, from the good reason — people have bourbon. We ended up that’s not what I feel like
way I pour, shake and stir spent copious amounts of making a spicy — and very having today and try
to the way I interact with time constructing these tasty — bak kwa drink, and something else.
guests. The best way to drinks, so they’re balanced gave to our friends to try. Encountered any

006 06/14
“I always recommend
people to try working in
F&B. You’ll learn a lot
about humility and
you’ll learn how to
treat a waiter properly
after that.”
 PULSE

“Most bartenders are

charismatic… Some
ladies might treat
our friendliness as
flirting, so they
sometimes ask
us out.”

obnoxious customers? hate rum, would you make A customer once told me Ah Sam’s Cold Drinks Stall.
This is the F&B industry; a rum cocktail to see if you that what we do here is a If I’m in a fun mood, I’ll go
we meet people from all can get them to like it? form of art, and that to The Library. If I feel like
walks of life, from the Yes, I’m stubborn like that. watching me work was like having food and drinks, I’ll
nicest to the worst. That’s If someone hated rum, I’d watching a painter paint a go to Bacchanalia. There
why I always recommend ask if I could make them a blank canvas — his palate. are two I’m also very
people to try working in drink with just that, and if Do you get a lot of excited about and haven’t
F&B or a service line for they don’t like it, I’d take it attention from female yet visited: Anti:dote and
three or four months. You’ll back and not charge them. customers? The Manhattan Bar at
learn a lot about humility So far I’ve been 100 per cent For sure — Hen’s Nights are The Regent. There are so
and you’ll learn how to treat successful. I’ve yet to meet a popular here and they can many places, really,
a waiter properly after that. customer who completely get quite wild with the which is why I’m always
What flavours resonate can’t stand the drink. Most requests. I’d like to believe running around.
with patrons nowadays? times, they just grudgingly most bartenders are quite Is there a science behind
Imbibers are becoming admit that it’s not bad. charismatic and it’s easy for how certain ingredients
increasingly educated and What do you think of the us to make friends. Some work better together than
they’re developing more current cocktail culture? ladies might treat our others, or is mixology only
adventurous palates. They I love it. It’s not fully friendliness as flirting, so limited by your creativity?
no longer go for drinks that developed yet here but it’s they sometimes ask us out. The key thing every
are fruity or sweet, and definitely on its way to Where do you go to get a bartender learns is balance.
want to try spirits they’ve something big. We started good drink? There are some flavours
never heard of, like mescal. out very humbly but in the On off days, I’ll just grab a that naturally go well
And instead of usual past two years, you see beer with friends in a together, while others don’t.
citruses like pineapple, people embracing it, and random bar or pub. I also So even if you know that
orange, lemon or lime, they that has actually made our frequent Tippling Club for one ingredient doesn’t taste
now want to try dragon profession as bartenders its cocktails; I like how they good with another,
fruit or yuzu. If you’re something important. present their drinks — depending on how you
asking for the current trend What’s the most there’s a lot of sensory play adjust and proportion it, it
in drinks, I’ll say “obscure”. memorable thing someone to it. For something classic, could work in a drink. It’s
If a patron tells you they has said about your drink? I’ll go to Jigger & Pony or all about experimenting. FHM

008 06/14
MIX DRINKS LIKE A PRO
You’ll be on your way to creating wicked cocktails after you nail these basic techniques.
iPad exclusive video

01 Pouring 02 Shaking

Hold the jigger between the index and middle fingers, while keeping it Ensure the shakers are slewed properly by positioning the bigger half of
perpendicular to the shaker. This ensures the jigger is held upright for the cheater tin to the smaller tin at an angle. Hold the shaker securely in
accurate measuring of the liquids. Pour contents into the shaker by tilting your hands and proceed to shake it back and forth while imagining the
the jigger towards the shaker in one smooth continuous motion. drink being thrown forward.

03 Stirring 04 Straining from a shaker

The back of the bar spoon should always be touching the walls of the After placing the Hawthorne strainer over the shaker tin, hold it firmly in
mixing glass. According to your preference, you can stir the drink in any place by pressing your index finger (with enough pressure) against the
direction. The key point to note here is to ensure the ice rotates as a single strainer. Use your other hand to hold a fine strainer over the glass, and tilt
“pillar” in the glass. the shaker tin towards the centre of the fine strainer, while pouring the
cocktail into the glass. A fine strainer helps to catch unwanted residue
from ingredients like herbs, seeds and pulp.

THE BAKER’S CANE

Peter Chua creates the ultimate FHM
M cocktail.
Ingredient notes to add a
• 45ml Ron Zacapa rum bittersweet element;
• 20ml Luxardo
apricot liqueur
pineapple juice because use
it goes well with orange.ge.
• 20ml Amer Picon I also added apricot
• 20ml pineapple juice liqueur for extra fruity
• 4 dashes of black
pepper tincture
flavour. The black-
pepper tincture was to
• 1 egg white give it a bit of depth and
a touch of spicy
“I used Ron Zacapa savouriness. There are re a
rum because I wanted he
lot of sharp notes in the
05 Straining from a mixing glass something that would drink so I added egg
go well with a more white to make
Place the Julep strainer on the ice in the mixing glass while using your tropical flavour. The der
the drink softer, rounder
index finger to apply minimal pressure on the end of the strainer. Tilt the Picon with orange and textured.”
mixing glass to pour the drink into your glassware of choice.

06/14 009
 DRINK LIKE A MAN

ALPINE KNEES-UP
Do something different for your
themed home parties — embrace THE LAST
mountain drinking. ORDERS SPIRIT
Russian vodka
Need to muster the
courage of winter
Olympians doing their
thing out at Sochi?
Sink a couple of
Russian firewaters
THE MOUNTAIN and you’ll feel the
BAR BEER belly burn with bravery.
Weissbier (wheat beer)
Creamy enough to fill
the hole in your belly,
cold enough to refresh
your sweaty face and
a favourite on the
slopes. Stick to
German breweries for
the best liquid reward.

THE BRUISED
BREAKFAST
THE PRE-PARTY COCKTAIL
PUNCH Bacon Bloody Mary
Scandinavian The barmen in the
Turbo Glogg resort of Arapahoe,
No surprises that snowy Colorado, know how
Denmark is officially the to perk up a broken
happiest country in the and hungover-to-hell
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS

world — Scandi mulled snowboarder. They

wine is a red plonk, port, serve up this — a
vodka, orange peel and Bloody Mary made
cinnamon beast that’d with bacon-infused
turn any life-threatening voddy, to nurse them
blizzard into a gigglefest. out on to the slopes.
WOR

E
KNOWLEDG
Although depicted in all sorts of alpine tourist bumf, St Bernard dogs don’t ever carry a barrel of brandy
andy
IS POWER around their neck. The idea was created in an 1820 painting by artist Edwin Landseer.

010 06/14
 GET A BRIT IN 02 03
Cool
brews
YOUR BEER
BUCKET
The best British
craft pale ales
you’ve never
tasted or 01
heard of
until now…
01 Rocky Head 04
Serve to… The guy whose
room looks like Doc
Brown’s lab
This group of mates cobbled
together a tiny operation last year
from bits of old brewing kits to
produce this huge taste bomb in
a bottle.
alesbymail.co.uk 05

02 Weird Beard
Serve to… The neighbour
who THINKS he’s a wizard
“We will brew whatever we want,
whenever it suits us,” say
beard-loving beer crafters Bryan
Spooner and Greg Irwin. “We’re
all about the beards, but not so
much the sandals.” No mention of
magical staffs, but we’re sure
they love ’em too.
bottle-shop.co.uk
08
03 ELB
Serve to… The sexy art
student with paint in
her hair
Probably the prettiest bottle you’ll
ever sup on. East London
Brewing is a family set-up that’s 07 06
just celebrated two years of
life — best-before dates are
hand-written on the back and all. 05 The Kernel Magic Rock chucks on its glass nectar. It’s such a hit that it
eastlondonbrewing.com Serve to… The dude who is the closest you’ll get to a even won an Organic Food
only likes bands you’ve wacky trip without dropping a Award recently.
04 Belleville never heard of tab of acid. There are tinges of blackislebrewery.com
Serve to… The law grad This laidback bottle is to British mango, lychee and grapefruit in
you’re trying your best hipsters what Jack Daniel’s is there to muddle your brain 08 Summer Wine
to impress to pulverising metalheads. It’s instead. Serve to … The fella
When a gigantic beer corporation so cool that a mainstream label beerritz.co.uk you’re sure will take over
(owners of nearly all the lagers won’t suffice – it looks like it’s the world
on tap down your local) printed on a brown paper bag. 07 Black Isle Organic If muscle and brains are the key
threatened this tiny brewery with beerritz.co.uk Serve to… The girl who to world domination, then this
legal action over its name this loves to run around naked Yorkshire brewery is definitely
year, these four dads fought back 06 Magic Rock A brew to keep the nature under MI5 surveillance. Set
for their right to brew… And won. Serve to… The dude who lovers happy; these Scots up by an astrophysicist and
WORDS: FHM UK

Thank God they did – this is a wears tie-dye to work don’t mess with their natural a Royal Marine, this tasty beer is
real FHM favourite. Like your beer with a tinge of ingredients one bit before one to keep on your side.
bellevillebrewing.co.uk “magic”? The ace artwork turning it into this booze summerwinebrewery.co.uk

06/14 011
 REWARDS.
FROM ME TO YOU.

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IN STYLE.
» VIP tickets and backstage passes
to the hottest concerts and
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 DRINK LIKE A MAN

CANNED SECRETS
The greatest beers on Earth now comes in a tin.
Crack these open if you can find ’em.

If you’re yet to join the But ditching the bottle isn’t just
craft beer revolution, now a bonus for your eyes. Tinnies
is the time to pledge your protect your nectar from sunlight;
allegiance. The market for beers too much of it, and a reaction
made by independent micro- takes place that creates
breweries is worth over $15 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thiol, or
billion a year in the US alone and MTB, which to you and us is the
thirsty drinkers all over are fast familiar smell of skunk farts. And
catching on to the trend. The nobody’s ever enjoyed a skunk
beer business is booming, and fart after a long day at the office.
the taste of success is delicious.
What’s more, it’s no longer just
the ice-cold liquid that’s
a thing of beauty. Breweries are
indulging in a case of one-
upmanship to can their beer in
the best-looking tins possible —
allowing the shelves of fridges to
look less like a rotting jungle and
more like the coolest gallery on
the planet.

Beers recommended BROOKLYN LAGER

by Mark Dredge, brooklynbrewery.com
author of The artist behind this design
Craft Beer World. classic, Milton Glaser, also
designed the I Heart NY
logo, and he did it for free…
In return for unlimited beer.
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO VITTUR

012 06/14
 OSKAR BLUES PALE ALE
oskarblues.com
This pale ale was the first KONA LONGBOARD
craft beer to be released in ISLAND LAGER
a can − a trend now followed konabrewingco.com
by over 50 breweries in the Started by a father-and-son
States. They point-blank team in Hawaii, Kona is now
refuse to use bottles. the top-selling craft beer in
the surfer’s paradise. On your
holidays, head to their flagship
pub for a fresh pint and a
slice of hand-spun pizza.

FLYING DOG
ATLANTIC LAGER
flyingdogbrewery.com
Flying Dog was set up by
American astrophysicist,
photographer, adventurer and
writer George Stranahan, with
each can’s design drawn by
cartoonist Ralph Steadman.

HOBO BEER
hobobeerandco.co.uk
Each can has a sign taken
from the Hobo Code −
markings set up during the
Great Depression by folk
searching for work using
freight trains. This one means
“good road to follow”.

06/14 013
 DRINK LIKE A MAN

Class in
a glass

HOW TO DRINK
LIKE A PRO
Clue up on this boozy insider intel to become a king of the spirit.

SIP THEN
THROW OUT R E M E M B E R
BITE THEN
YOUR

S H O T G L A S S E S DOUBLE
TO

UP
SIP THEN “The pro choice is a tulip-
shaped glass,” says Oli

BITE
Want to drink a Russian under the table?
Blackburn, brand
ambassador at Grey
Goose vodka. “It
channels the aroma,
making it easier to Not as in “double up (and
“Eat between sips,” recommends Marian smell — which is very puke)”, but to give your taste
Beke, head bartender at Nightjar, London. important, as 85 per buds a heads up. “The first sip
“Creamy and fatty things cent of the taste comes will only prepare your tongue
work well as they from the receptors in your and senses to let them know
balance the flavour nose.” Alex Davies, head of a high alcoholic liquid is
and break down the distillery at Chase Vodka coming,” says Oli Blackburn.
alcohol.” Think adds, “Drinking when hungry “The second time round, it
bread, cheese will heighten your taste doesn’t miss out on any of
and pickles. receptors, too.” the flavours.”

DON’T LEAVE WISE UP TO

FREEZER
IT IN THE
GIMMICKS
WORDS: FHM UK; PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS

“I saw a bottle of vodka in Berlin promising that every

drop was filtered across the breast of a supermodel,”
“Of course, vodka is best served your bottle on a shelf and pour it over says William Borrell, owner of Vestal Vodka. “There’s
chilled, but not too cold,” says Marian ice. You’ll get the biggest range of also a popular brand that says it is ‘filtered through
Beke. “If the molecules in the alcohol flavours between 1-5 deg C. Any diamonds’. It’s ridiculous. If people buy certain brands
start to freeze, all you’ll be able to warmer, and lighter notes such as based on these claims, or because rappers drink them,
taste is the alcohol.” Instead, keep citrus will start to tail off. they’ll miss out on the truly good stuff.”

014 06/14
 THE
THE WEST PRO
HUMBLE
PICKS
SPUD IS
IS CATCHING

THE EAST
Food-and-drinks
journalist Rebecca Seal
suggests a few unqiue

KING
bottles, and who to
share them with.
It’s not just the
“vodka belt” (eastern
“The potato is the premium ingredient countries such as
of the vodka connoisseur,” says William Russia, Ukraine and
Borrell. “Potato vodka is more difficult Poland) that kick
to make and is defined by an inherent flavour out the good stuff. …YOUR DAD
and feel.” Alex Davies adds, “Potato is very “There’s an exciting Black Cow Vodka
expensive to make vodka from, micro distillery “Dangerously creamy and
not only because they spoil very easily movement in drinkable, your dad
but because you get a much lower yield from America, and will never believe it’s made
them than you do with grain.” Scotland is doing in Dorset from
grass-fed cows’ milk.”
really well, especially
blackcow.co.uk
one called Valt,
made from malt,”
says Paul Archard.
“Look out for
Kazakhstan’s Snow
Queen vodka too,” …YOUR GIRLFRIEND
adds Alex Davies. Fair Vodka
“Wanna prove you’re
really a nice guy?

HANGOVERS
Made from Fair Trade quinoa,
this is crisp and very smooth.”
…BUT IT DOESN’T fairspirits.com

REIGN DON ’T NEED TO BE

SUPREME
The EU defines vodka as a distilled spirit
made from any agricultural product, meaning
you could be knocking back anything you find
HELLISH …YOUR
YOUR MATE’S SISTER
Beluga Gold Line
“This comes sealed
on a farm, bar the farmer. Black Cow distillery “Vodka gets a really bad rap,” argues Paul Archard. “A in wax, along with a hammer to
bottles the world’s only pure milk vodka. “Ours massive contributor to a horrible morning after is sugar, smash it off and a brush to
is exceptionally smooth with a creamy note and a premium bottle of vodka shouldn’t contain any, or clean up the mess. Very posh.”
and no horrible throat burn,” co-founder Paul at least only a tiny amount. You start to walk a very thin vodka-beluga.com
Archard tells us. and dangerous line when you add mixers.”

40
IS YOUR FAVOURI T E
NUMBER
NEVER MESS

MARTINIS
UP YOUR

A vodka martini is
class in a glass, but
only if you nail it.
…YOUR WORKMATES
Chase Marmalade Vodka
“With British potatoes and
Seville marmalade, this works
amazingly in cocktails. Try it
with ginger beer and lime.”
chasedistillery.co.uk

19th-century scientist Dmitri “They’re easy,” says

Mendeleev had the task of Kaspars Osis, bar
deciding the optimum alcoholic supervisor at the fancy …YOUR FOOTY TEAM
volume any vodka should hold, Quaglino’s in London. “All you Konik’s Tail
and (possibly drunkenly) found it need is fresh ice, a couple of “Struggling this season?
to be 40 per cent. “Any stronger dashes of vermouth and a measure Founder Pleurat Shabani was
and the burn’s too hard, any less of vodka. Stir for 13-14 seconds, shunned by banks, but now has
and it’ll over-dilute from the ice,” and pour into a classic martini glass. loads of awards.”
says Paul Archard. Finish it off with a twist of lemon.” konikstail.com

06/14 015
 DRINK LIKE A MAN

PIMP OUT YO’ ICE BOX

What do the hip-hop heavyweights stack in their fridges?

Hip-hop has always liked a Courvoisier Part II took the trend for to their influence and began demanding cash
drink. During the ’80s and ’90s, high-end drink lyrics mainstream, and sales to imbue brands with their cool: Jay Z is
keepin’-it-real rappers stuck to of the cognac surged by an impressive 20 rumoured to endorse Armand de Brignac
name-dropping corner-shop per cent. Soon, $400 bottles of Louis champagne ($730 a bottle) for $5 million a
boozes like “Heiny” (Heineken) Roederer Cristal were finding their way into year. Other artists launch their own: See
and low-rent fruity cognac Alizé. But as rap videos, with hip-hop’s endorsement causing Ludacris’ Conjure cognac, P Diddy’s Cîroc
moved into the golden-grilled “bling” era, the champagne to become desirable to all. vodka and, er, Pitbull’s Voli vodka. We’ve
hip-hop stars celebrated their fatter pay But rap’s love of Cristal evaporated when compiled the ultimate hip-hop rider, so ditch
cheques by popping much bigger corks. the brand declared the “bling” association the lagers for a change and cram your fridge
Busta Rhymes’ 2002 hit Pass the had becoming damaging. Rappers wised up with this lot instead.

“Grey Goose
and a whole
lotta hydro.”
“Spillin’ Ace Nas, Made You Look
on my sick Js.”
Kanye West,
N*ggas In Paris
“Drunk offa
“Rolled up
love like
another blunt,
a Colt 45.”
“It’s in a bought a “Bring Snoop Dogg, Boom

brown bottle/ Heineken.” another

Notorious BIG,
Hennessey.” Party And Bullshit glass of
2Pac, Hennessey Patrón with
one more
lime.”
Drake,
One More Time

WORDS: JOE MADDEN. PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS

HENNESSY COGNAC HEINEKEN LAGER ARMAND DE GREY GOOSE PATRÓN TEQUILA COLT 45 MALT
BRIGNAC VODKA LIQUOR
CHAMPAGNE

016 06/14
 ,
TI CATE D 19 80 S VI BE
TO GE T TH AT SO PHOFISSPAR KL ER S IN TH E TO P.

SUPER-CHARGE W HA CK A CO UP LE IT DO ES N’ T GO AN YW HE RE
JU ST M AK E SU REYO UR TR AC K SU IT.
NE AR

YOUR SANGRIA
Olé! Impress your amigos with a jug of
next-level Spanish punch.

C LA S S Y S P IC Y AD VE N TU RO U S

THE BLOOD OF THE MATADOR Another dimension: Two cans of 7 Up.

It might be named after the Spanish word for blood − sangre − but Pro tip: If you want to sack off the Spanish vibe and go proper
you needn’t stick solely to bloody-coloured claret… English with your sangria, try adding ginger beer instead.
Standard: A bottle of red wine.
Upgrade it: ½ bottle red, ½ bottle rosé. THE HEALTHY-ISH BIT
Another dimension:Ы red, Ы rosé, Ы prosecco. For at least one of your five-a-day, while still getting your booze
Pro tip: Spend about $25 on a bottle. Any more and you’ll spoil a sufficiently on…
decent wine, any less and you’ll taste the cheapness. Standard: Oranges, apples, lemons.
Upgrade it: Pears, raspberries, plums.
GOODA FROM SILVERBAR IN IBIZA. CHECK OUT IBIZASILVERBAR.COM FOR MORE INFO.
PHOTOGRAPHY: CONOR SHEEHAN. FHM ’S SANGRIA PRO IS SAM “EL COCKTLERO”

THE HARD STUFF Another dimension: Kiwis, watermelons, pineapples.

For your one-way ticket to fiesta town… Pro tip: Thinking of adding a banana? Don’t. It’ll break up
Standard: A couple of shots of brandy. into mush and give the whole thing a cloudy appearance.
Upgrade it: A couple of shots of spiced rum.
Another dimension: A couple of shots of orange Curaçao. NOW CHILL
Pro tip: Soak your fruit in the alcohol for an hour before mixing For the perfect accompaniment to a Phuket sunset. Or a
it all together to get a better juicy hit. Botanic Gardens afternoon…
Standard: Leave in the fridge for one hour.
SWEETEN IT UP Upgrade it: Pre-chill then pour it into an iced jug.
To make it go down quicker and smoother than Barcelona’s Another dimension: Pre-chill both the sangria and your glasses
Sergio Busquets. for a proper classy effect.
Standard: Two cups of fizzy water. Pro tip: Sangria doesn’t have to be super cold. Some Spaniards think
Upgrade it: Two cups of orangeade. that serving it slightly warmer brings out more flavour.

06/14 017
 UPGRADE YOUR DRINK

Ginsani
ty!
GIN BLOSSOMS
Six ways to upgrade your gin... Because
there’s more to life than just tonic.

SIPSMITH GIN HAS WON FHM

LOADS OF AWARDS AND IS PICK
BLOODY DELICIOUS.
06

03

04
02 05
01

01 GRANDMA’S 02 G AND TEA 03 THE CIDER 04 GIN AND 05 ATOMIC 06 YE OLDE

SPECIAL Recommended MONSTER JUICES SHERBET DICKENS
LEMONADE by Jared Brown, Fill a tumbler with Easy ingredients, but Recommended This one is inspired
Aside from necking it Sipsmith Gin’s ice, adding one part you’ll need a sharp by Barrie Wilson, by the Great
neat, you won’t find Master Blender gin to three parts pair of peepers to award-winning Expectations author
an easier way to “A great way to sweet apple cider, get this one just mixologist and himself. Chuck
consume gin than enhance your gin such as Bulmers. right. Shake up 60ml Tanqueray Gin a handful of berries
this. All you need is is to infuse it with Add a dash of of gin, 75ml of ambassador into a jar with some
one part gin to two three or four Lady orange bitters to cranberry juice and “Drop 50ml of gin lemon peel, a
parts lemonade (the Grey tea bags. Pour make it proper 15ml of orange juice into a glass, and pour thumb-sized amount
posh cloudy stuff the bottle into a professional. If you with ice, and pour in as much of fresh ginger and
works best) in an pitcher and allow want to go even out. Take this up a strawberry sherbet 4tbsp of white sugar.
iced glass. Brew up a it to infuse for an more posh, garnish notch by adding club as you fancy. Top Add a bottle of gin
few pitchers with hour, no more, up with a spiral soda till your glass up with lemonade and 200ml
some slices of lime because it’ll become of orange peel. is full. and ice. A stick of of Irish whisky,
and you’ve got a too tannic [bitter]. Difficulty rating: Difficulty rating: celery, wetted and and leave for two
ready-made garden Remove the bags, dipped in, goes weeks. Strain it, then
party right there. pour back into the Drink with: Your Drink with: brilliantly. It sounds sip to pay off all that
Difficulty rating: bottle and serve with boss. Rustle up a Dr Dre, Snoop weird, but it’s hard work.
bitter lemon.” few of these and Dogg, Ice Cube, or just incredible.” Difficulty rating:
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARCO VITTUR

Drink with: All Difficulty rating: you’ll be a shoo-in any other West Difficulty rating:
your buddies, in the for that promotion. Coast rapper. Drink with:
park, under the Drink with: Your Drink with: A date. A moustache, a top
midday sun. breakfast. It’ll cure Definitely not one for hat and a copy
any hangover. a boys’ night out. of Bleak House.

018 06/14
 Feel the

HOT SCOTCH
Crank up the heat with these three whisky scorchers.
fuzz

QUICK & CLASSY TESTING & SPICY PRO & SEXY HOT
Steaming Irish punch Apple and ginger mac Fudge bourbon shake F Y I
Create the cocktail Our cocktail of the summer Because she’ll bloody
that had the Emerald has been upgraded for the love you for it. Just as cold beers taste
Isle sozzled through darker months. even better out of an iced
the 1700s. Directions: Simmer 340g glass, you need to warm up
Directions: Warm a cup of granulated sugar, 85g your “winter” drinking
Directions: Cut a slice of of apple cider, a thumb- of brown sugar, 100g of vessels in the microwave
lemon and stud the white sized amount of chopped cocoa powder, 30g of for 15 seconds to get
part with whole cloves. ginger and mulling spices plain flour, ½ tsp of salt, a the best pro results.
Warm a glass, add boiling (cinnamon, cloves, allspice can of evaporated milk, 2
water and a tsp of honey and nutmeg) over a low tbsp of butter and 250ml
and stir. Add a measure heat for 15 minutes. of water on a hob. Finish
of Irish whisky and the Drizzle honey into a mug with 2 tsp of vanilla extract
studded lemon, then feel and pour in the cider, then for your killer hot fudge
your insides thaw out. add a squeeze of lemon sauce. Blend 125ml of
Pro choice: Tyrconnell followed by a measure full-fat milk, three scoops
Single Malt is light and of whisky. Stir up and of vanilla ice cream, a
typically Irish to taste. sup back. double measure of
Drink when: An ice- Pro choice: Glen bourbon and some of
fishing session on your Garioch 12 Years Old is the fudge sauce and
local pond turns soggy. rich and perfectly spiced pour both mixes into two
for this cocktail. tall glasses.
Drink when: Imagining Pro choice: WL
you’ve slain a giant woolly Weller 12 Year Old is
mammoth for your family an ideal mellow wheat
with only your teeth. bourbon whisky.
Drink when: Snowed into
a log cabin in the woods
with a netball team.
FHM ’S WHISKY PRO IS MATT TILBURY, WHISKY CONSULTANT AND MANAGER AT ROYAL MILE WHISKIES

06/14 019
 Fit

BOOZE YOUR
THIN
drinks
WATER
0 calories

WAY THIN
ONE VODKA,
LIME AND SODA
76 calories, or 18
minutes of car washing

ONE SHOT OF
A mid-year health kick should never be CINNAMON
a reason to ditch a good drinking session. AFTER SHOCK
103 calories, or 10
minutes of moderate
THE MEXICAN rowing-machine action
MICHELADA COCKTAIL
150 calories, or 16 minutes
of jogging ONE GLASS OF
The dilemma is this: Your PINOT NOIR WINE
girlfriend is on your case to keep 120 calories,
the diet up, but you’ve got 16 or 12 minutes
of breaststroke
phone messages from the bros
telling you how insane last
Saturday’s night out was. Here’s ONE BOTTLE
what you do: Take one of those OF CORONA
dreadful “light lagers” that 148 calories, or
promise lower calories, and 15 minutes on the
throw it into a salt-rimmed glass cross trainer
with fresh lime juice, a couple of
glugs of Tabasco sauce, a few
drops of Worcestershire sauce,
salt, pepper and tomato juice. ONE JÄGERBOMB
Then inform your better half that 158 calories, or 11 minutes
it’s got the same number of of kickboxing
calories as a corn on the cob,
and join your bros for a cocktail
filled with Mexican heat that’s ONE PINT OF
tasty and beer-belly free. Oh, HOEGAARDEN
and it’s also the best treatment BEER
for a hangover we know. Knock 176 calories, or
16 minutes of tennis
back with a satisfied “aaah”.

ONE DOUBLE JACK

DANIEL’S AND COKE
193 calories, or 23
minutes of light cycling

ONE PINT OF
MAGNERS
210 calories, or 25
minutes on the punch bag

ONE PINT OF
FOSTERS
227 calories, or 30 minutes
of football in the park
PHOTOGRAPHY: ANDY PARSONS

FAT

020 06/14
 DIY TURBO JUICE
Brew your own before they make it illegal.
Think of the happiest drunk you’ve
ever been. Perhaps at a full moon
party, best mates beside you and
not even caring your sandals are
floating away in the Gulf of Thailand.
Now think of that time you downed too many
energy drinks and discovered you couldn’t
INGREDIENTS stand still for three days. The combination of
1 Berocca Boost tablet those feelings is just one giant, dangerous
1 small bottle of vodka beverage away…
600ml malt liquor (or a strong malty beer) American-born turbo boozes such as Four
3 tbsp Kool-Aid (or undiluted fruit squash) Loko and Crunk Juce house a fluorescent
1 tbsp white sugar liquid pumped full of caffeine (uppers) and
wine-strength booze (downers), and have
been dubbed “blackout in a can” by a British
newspaper. Awesome for a spot of pre-
drinking, in other words.
But after some unfortunate after-effects,
they were banned from the shelves in some
countries. Problem was, the black market,
usually home to drugs and bootleg DVDs,
was suddenly flooded by these boozes. They
might have had a price tag five times the
normal value, but kids were buying them up.
And so, turbo juice was legalised again in
those countries, just minus the caffeine.
Find out what the bonkerness of
pre-prohibition turbo juice was all about
with our recipe. All entirely at your own
risk, obviously…
F Y I
DIRECTIONS
Any booze looks 1. Drop the Berocca Boost tablet into
classier in a Kilner jar. a large jar and add 8tbsp of vodka. Stir
You can pick them until the tablet is dissolved.
up at Ikea really 2. Pour in a small amount of the malt
cheaply. liquor, all of the Kool-Aid and sugar, and stir
until well mixed.
3. Add the rest of the malt liquor
and serve very, very responsibly.

FHM case study

After one litre, web editor
Jordan described himself
as, “feeling great, but I’m
sweating a lot and I want
to stand on a chair”.
Returning to the office the
next day, he told us how
he’d lost his wallet, phone
and keys that night,
forcing him to cancel
his holiday.
WORDS: FHM UK

06/14 021
 N FOOD
BEER

Triple-
threat

SUPER-SLIDERS
Nothing is more comforting than a big slab
of pimped–out lamb.

RESIDENT CHEF DJ BBQ SAYS THE RECIPE

“The big trend in burgers right Preparation time
now is sliders. What’s a slider? 10 mins
It’s a bite-sized burger small
enough to slide down the back Ingredients
of your throat. You’re meant to Sea salt
knock back about three or four Cracked black pepper
500g minced lamb
in one sitting. Cute, right? I’m all Avocado
for sliders but I’m not cool with Lime
tiny delicate things. I want super Medium chilli powder
sliders. Big, giant hunks of Blue cheese
Cumin
PHOTOGRAPHY: JAMES BYRNE

burger. Not the little finger-food

you get at a kid’s party. To hell Brown sugar
Cinnamon
with that. Big burgers, big Yoghurt
flavours, big fist bump from your Mint
bros, dude!

022 06/14
 01
First, add some salt and pepper
to your minced lamb. “I don’t add
nothing else to my meat before I
start the cooking,” says DJ BBQ.
“No breadcrumbs, no onions, no
nothing. Burgers are all about
the meatiness — there’s no need
to get fancy with them.” Then
shape your meat into palm-sized
patties. “Caress them – don’t
pack them down,” says DJ.

02
Next up, add the burgers to
a medium hot pan, with zero
oil. “There’s enough fat in
the mince already,” DJ BBQ
explains. Cook until medium,
turning them over every 6 to 8
minutes. To fry them like the
Americans do, place a metal bowl
over each patty to ensure they
cook through evenly.

03 THE PERFECT TOPPING FOR

A BIT OF MOROCCAN SPICE.
Now for the toppings. On the
first, add sliced avocado with
a squirt of lime and a sprinkle of
chilli powder. On your next patty,
crumble blue cheese and cover
it with the bowl to melt it.
Finally, go Moroccan by covering
your patty with cumin, brown
sugar, cinnamon and chilli
powder and return to the pan for
a minute on each side, then
cover it with a spoon of yoghurt
and chopped mint.

WHAT SHALL A merlot will be great with these lamb sliders −

the upfront black fruit flavours of the merlot will

I DRINK complement the lamb nicely, with a touch of

spice at the end to work really well with the

WITH IT? Moroccan burger in particular.

06/14 023
 N FOOD
BEER

Deep-
fried

MAC & CHEESE BALLS That’s pub grub sorted for the
next 100 years, then…

THE RECIPE RESIDENT CHEF DJ BBQ SAYS

Preparation time 1 hour “Spandex. Boobs. Macaroni
and cheese balls. These are
Ingredients the three great creations that
A bag of macaroni pasta prove a god exists. Mac and
500ml milk cheese is the dish American
1 bay leaf
3 tbsp butter kids grow up on, and shout out
2 heaped tbsp plain flour as soon as parents ask,
½ tsp onion powder ‘Whaddya want for dinner?’ like
¼ tsp mustard a reflex. They can’t help it. It’s
150g grated cheddar ingrained in their cheesy
150g Monterey Jack genes. You just know it’ll be
cheese deliciously salty and gooey.
A handful of lardons
A handful of stale Now we’ve made them in little
focaccia balls, they’re the perfect thing
Chopped parsley to partner with a hardcore beer
100g grated parmesan session, too.
One egg
PHOTOGRAPHY: JAMES BYRNE

“Because I got a hard-on for

1 bag of breadcrumbs lardons right now, we pimped
1 tsp cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper our recipe with bacon chunks,
Vegetable oil and a s**tload of cheese.
You need these in your life.”

024 06/14
01
Throw your pasta into boiling
salted water for 12 mins. While
that’s going strong, add a bay
leaf to the milk and scald it in a
heated frying pan. “It needs to
bubble all angry,” says DJ BBQ.
In another pan, melt the butter
and add the flour, onion powder
and mustard. Stir for 1 min, then
add the milk. Add the cheese
and stir until thick.

02
Once the pasta is cooked, add it to the
sauce, stir and season. Now fry off your
lardons in your frying pan, add the foccacia
and parsley and toss. Chuck everything in an
ovenproof dish, add parmesan on top and
cook it all for 20 mins at 180 deg C.

03
Cool it in the freezer until chilled for 20 mins.
Then it’s time to ball it up using your hands.
Next, line up three bowls, one with flour, one
with beaten egg and one with breadcrumbs,
cayenne and salt, and add the balls to each
one in that order.

A TABASCO AND GREEK−YOGHURT MIXTURE

MAKES AN AMAZING DIP FOR YOUR BALLS

04
Pour an inch of veg oil into a
frying pan and heat. “It’s ready to
go when you flick water in and it
fizzes like a sonofab****,” DJ BBQ
advises. Drop in and roll the balls
for 8 secs, until golden. Place
them on kitchen paper to soak
up the excess oil.

06/14 025
 N FOOD
BEER

GREATEST SPICY
WINGS EVER
The best bar bites are always the ones that get your fingers oily and your
tummy rumbling for more.

RESIDENT
CHEF DJ BBQ SAYS
“If football is a religion,
then the World Cup, cold
beer and chicken wings are
the Holy Trinity. Now, imagine
you can cook up these spicy
b******s on your own...
Nothing gets better
than that.”

THE RECIPE
Preparation time
40 mins

Ingredients for the

wings
1 tbsp sea salt
1 tbsp cracked
black pepper
1 tbsp onion granules
1 tbsp garlic granules
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tbsp smoked paprika
Free-range chicken
wings
Ingredients for the dip
3 garlic cloves
01 02 03
Handful of red chillies Throw all of the dry spices into a Sprinkle the spice rub over To make a spicy dip to
Piri-piri dip bowl and mix together with your all of the chicken wings, accompany your wings, chop the
Cup of olive oil
fingers. Cut the skin joint on then place them on a cooking garlic cloves and red chillies into
Splash of red cider
each wing, then pull until you tray. Throw them into a fine strips, then add the rest of
vinegar
PHOTOGRAPHY: JAMES BYRNE

1 tbsp honey feel the joint crack, keeping the preheated oven set to 180˚C for the dip ingredients and give
1 tsp salt wings whole. “This speeds up the 35 minutes, until the chicken them a good stir. Spoon over
Lime juice cooking time,” DJ BBQ says. juices run clear. Turn the wings your chicken wings and receive a
Splash of vodka “And makes you feel like a halfway through to even out high five from each of your
bone-breakin’ badass.” the colour. soccer buddies.

026 06/14
 HANGOVER CURES

HANGOVER CURES: TESTED

Love to party but hate feeling like death the morning after? FHM
guinea pigs got drunk in the name of science to put hangover
remedies through their paces. HANG
THE EXPERT NO MORE!

Dr Richard
Stephens
Keele Uni lecturer
and co-founder of
the international Jamie Inglis
alcohol hangover 2 whiskies,
research group. Dan Jude 4 red wines,
2 gin and tonics, 2 pints of beer
2 white wines

Daniel Masoliver
6 pints of beer,
Joe Mackertich 1 tequila shot
4 red wines
4 pints of beer

Jordan Waller
8 pints of beer

Ange Hughes
6 white wines
WORDS: FHM UK

028 06/14
 THE THEORY THE SCIENCE BIT THE GUINEA PIG THE VERDICT
According to folklore, you Dr Stephens: “When a Inglis: “The idea of booze at The equivalent of
HAIR OF THE DOG

can find relief from a mutt’s hangover kicks in, your body 10am made me feel ill, but hitting a hangover pause
bite by putting the hair of the is breaking down the after a few sips it was as button will temporarily
dog that bit you in the wound. methanol in your system into delicious as last night’s beer. pull you out of your sickly
Feeling peaky after one pint toxins. If you drink more, the An hour later, I could feel it trough, then
too many? Crack open a cold enzymes stop acting on the swishing around shove you right back
one in the morning and wave methanol, but it’s still there, in my empty stomach, taking in again. Also, it’s
goodbye to your hangover. so you’re just delaying me right back to essentially step one on
And your job. the inevitable.” my earlier queasiness.” the road to alcoholism.

Alcohol dehydrates you, Dr Stephens: Dan: “The first pint Water is the sweet
which makes it feel like “Dehydration from quenches my thirst, but giver of life and
there’s an army of drinking alcohol is as I practically drown remover of post-pub
miniature workmen linked to headaches, so if myself in water, all that brain pain. It won’t
WATER

pounding away at your you rehydrate before you happens is a) I feel make that pukey
brain with tiny hammers. go to bed and then again bloated and b) I need feeling go away,
Drinking water in the morning, that to piss more. My but it’ll keep you
rehydrates you, and so should help to headache has become alive and relatively
all the little builders get stave off any pain.” more of a dull throb.” headache-free.
sent packing.

Fried bee hoon with Dr Stephens: “It’s nothing Mackertich: “Having A fatty, protein-rich
luncheon meat, bacon to do with alcohol missed dinner the night and carb-heavy
BACON SANDWICH

sandwich or any other full-on absorption, but should help. before, the 10am ketchup- breakfast will go a
heavy breakfast will soak up During a hangover your slathered sandwich had an long way towards
all that nasty booze floating blood sugar dips, which immediate medicinal effect. fending off those
around your system, and give makes you feel ill. Increase The mild nausea all but morning-after shakes.
you a much- it and you should feel vanished, and the headache Plus it’s the one time
needed energy better, and there’s a lot fizzled away within minutes. when a big greasy
boost in
the process.
WINNER! of sugar in a big
bacon sandwich.”
Salty goodness: 1,
hangover: 0.”
brekkie is actually the
“healthy” option.

With word spreading Dr Stephens: “There is a Masoliver: “This stuff There may not be any
(very possibly by its track record of certain supposedly stops the proof that milk thistle
MILK THISTLE

sales people) of the herbs reducing hangover sickness that’s become prevents the
effectiveness of this symptoms, but there are the familiar sign of punishment of
herbal hangover cure, also a lot of “cures” with a good night out and, a hangover, but
sales of liver-healing no science behind them. actually, it did work. anecdotal evidence
milk thistle shot up in the If you tell someone this Though it did suggests it’ll stave
UK by 80 per cent over the will work, the placebo nothing to stop my off that queasy
last festive period. effect is huge.” throbbing headache.” feeling for a bit.
BEROCCA & IBUPROFEN

Berocca contains shedloads Dr Stephens: “Ibuprofen Hughes: “I woke up with a There’s nothing wrong
of B-vitamins, which are will address both banging headache and a with dissolving a
crucial in supporting your inflammation and headaches less-than-tasty dry mouth. Berocca tablet in water,
body’s digestive system and therefore have a big The Berocca quenched my but nor is there any
and need to be restocked effect on reducing a thirst, but did eff-all else. evidence to suggest
after a heavy night of hangover. There’s no reason, Knocking back ibuprofen did it’ll do anything. The
liquid fun. As for the however, to think that vitamin make my headache go ibuprofen, which is
ibuprofen, is there any pain B would help with any away, though I still had that actual medicine, will at
or problem it can’t relieve? underlying causes.” queasy feeling all day.” least soothe the pain.

In the Western US, the Dr Stephens: “The only Waller “Cracking a Never, ever do this,
Prairie Oyster (a raw egg reason this would ever gloopy egg into my unless a loved one’s
A RAW EGG

with Worcestershire work is because egg, like mouth made me gag, life depends on it, or
sauce, Tabasco, salt and the bacon sandwich, but I finally managed to you’ve lost a high-
pepper) is a popular contains carbs. But you swallow it on the third stakes bet. It might
hangover remedy. It’s may as well cook it, as attempt. At least, just work, but there
meant to counteract eating it raw has no compared to that, a are easier ways to
toxins from the booze. additional benefits.” hangover seemed easy.” make yourself vomit.

06/14 029
 NEWS
Good news
for men

ALWAYS SOMETHING
THERE TO REMIND ME…
…To get in gear ’cos the countdown to football’s greatest event has begun!

Police Eyewear
With one of Brazil’s most exciting football
prospects, Neymar Jr, as the face of its new
ad campaign, you’re assured the spotlight will
always be on this sunnies.
Prcie unavailable, authorised retailers.

Havaianas Teams
Collection
Put on Brazil’s most
iconic flip-flops and
strut like you’re in
Copacabana.
$49.90, selected h
stores, Mothersworks
and Mothercare
boutiques.

Gillette Fusion
ProGlide Manual
Razor Brazil
Special Edition
You may not get a
Brazilian with this
advanced blade, but
you will definitely get
the cleanest shave
possible.
$19.90, leading Nike Brazil Away Kit
supermarkets Dare to dream: Wear like this year’s hosts
and you might even play like them. Nah
Swatch Entusiasmo $109 (jersey), $50 (shorts); Weston@
What better way to be on time for Queensway and selected Nike stores.
the kick-offs than with a watch that
rocks the Brazilian colours.
$103, Swatch stores.

030 06/14
 NEWS

DID YO?U
K N OW

Adidas adizero f50 BRAZIL

Branded under Adidas’ Earth
Pack series (inspired by the
Brazilian rainforests), this
FOOTBALL
lightweight football boots can
be found on the golden feet of
Gareth Bale and Luis Suarez.
FAST
$299, Adidas Sports
Performance stores and
shop.adidas.com.sg.
FACTS
7
Number of times Brazil has
been in the World Cup final.

Puma Brasil Soccer Tee

Rock the old-school look.
5
Number of times Brazil has won
$45; Puma stores. the World Cup — making it the
most successful team.

0
Brazil has never missed a World
Cup finals tournament since its
establishment in 1930.

1,281
Record-breaking number of
goals Pelé scored in his football
g
Hom Rio Cup Range career (over 1,363 games).
Wear your heart on your…erm…
From $69, Metro Paragon,
Robinsons Centrepoint,
Takashimaya and Tangs. 22
Brazil's lowest position on Fifa
rankings. It dropped to this
historic low just a year ago.

FHM
LOVES
6-0
Brazil's biggest defeat. It was
agasint Uruguay in 1920.

14-0
Brazil's biggest win. It was
against Nicaragua in 1975.
WORDS: DENNIS YIN; PHOTOGRAPHY: HONG CHEE YAN

111
Number of goals Brazilian
Rogerio Ceni scored for his
2014 Fifa World Cup Brazil Puma Brasil 70 T-shirt
club, Sao Paulo FC. He was
Your best football fix in The golden era of Brazilian football.
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between “live” games. $33; Puma stores.
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06/14 031