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vi Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
management, and security. Dr. Stith contributed his expertise in boxed moments throughout the text that are
related to chapter content. We felt this emerging sub-field of psychology would both be of interest to students
and offer timely, real-world examples of psychology at work.
Cross-Cultural Cases
Since the audience of this textbook is primarily American students, we wanted to give them the
opportunity to explore how other cultures relate and respond to elements of psychology. In each chapter,
narratives relating to the chapter material present current events, studies, and cultural aspects that provide
points for further study and discussion.
Review/Reflect/Write
The end of each chapter provides readers an opportunity to assess their recall of the information using both
open-ended questions and multiple-choice questions, and to engage in deeper processing of the information.
The “reflect” questions ask you to engage more deeply with the material as you process your opinions and
feelings regarding the material. These questions will help you to apply the concepts into your life in a
meaningful way. Finally, the “write” questions encourage you to seek out new information, integrate these
findings with course materials, and then write out your thoughts.
As you read this text, you will find these themes appearing throughout the narrative. For example, we discuss
throughout the text the scientific nature of psychology and the importance of asking questions about how the
world works, independent of our perceptions and opinions regarding behavior (Goal 2). Another theme that
you will find in the text is the importance of culture and diversity (Goals 3 and 4). Finally, we have built into
the narrative discussions of the career options available in psychology as well as ways to apply psychology to
whatever professional path you select (Goal 5).
We used what we know about psychology to build a text that facilitates your learning. The success of this
book is determined by the degree to which you are able to use the information from these pages to engage
with the world around you. We hope to convince you that psychology is not just a vibrant and exciting
science, but can also help you achieve your personal goals and improve your relationships.
Table of Contents 1
TABLE OF CONTENTS
About the Authors v
Preface vi
1 Understanding Psychology 8
What Is Psychology? 10
Psychology Is a Science 10
Psychology Is about the Individual 12
Psychology Is Interested in Interaction 13
Psychology Is the Study of Behavior 14
Breadth of Psychology 16
Major Perspectives of Psychology 16
Structuralism 16
Functionalism 17
Gestalt 17
Behaviorism 17
Psychodynamic theory 18
Humanism 18
Subfields of Psychology 19
A Brief History of Psychology 21
Intellectual Influences on Psychology 21
Wundt’s Laboratory 22
The Expansion of Psychology 24
Psychology Leaves the Laboratory 25
Psychology Today 27
Psychology in Context 29
2 Science of Behavior 32
The Science of Psychology 35
The Scientific Method 36
The Four Goals of Science 39
How Psychologists Study Behavior 40
Behavioral Research Methods 44
Behavioral observation 45
Experimental research 48
Indirect measurements 52
Comparative research 53
Research Ethics 53
Science Is the Foundation of Psychology 56
3 Biopsychology 60
Neural Structure and Function 62
Neural Communication: Electrical Signals 63
Neural Communication: Chemical Signals 64
Drug Effects on the Brain 65
2 Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
9 Memory 252
The Model of Memory 254
Sensory Memory 254
Short-Term Memory 256
Working Memory 258
Long-Term Memory: Forgetting 260
Constructive Memory 261
Table of Contents 5
12 Personality 344
Personality Defined 346
Views of Personality 346
Biological view 347
6 Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
Glossary 461
References 473
Index 489
1 Understanding
Chapter
Psychology
After reading this chapter, you will be able to answer the following questions:
How is psychology the study of you?
What are the three characteristics of psychology?
How is psychology a science?
What does it mean to say that psychology is an integrative study of behavior?
How do the subfields of psychology help us understand behavior?
What are some of the key events in the early history of psychology?
How did psychology expand from the laboratory to become an applied science?
Where do psychologists work and what do they do?
P
sychology is the scientific study of you. It is the study of how you learned to walk, how
you talk, how you make decisions about what to eat, who to be friends with, and what
types of products to buy. And psychology is so much more. Psychology is also the study
of how you fall in love, why some situations make you scared, and what it is that makes you
intelligent (or not). Psychology helps to understand exceptional moments in your life, such
as when you choose to help someone else or when you are able to overcome challenges. It
also helps us to understand your greatest challenges—such as dealing with your own mental
illness or that of a friend or family member—and your darkest experiences—such as prejudice,
discrimination, hatred, bullying, and conforming to peer or other social pressures. Psychology
truly provides insight into all of the different experiences, thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors that
are part of what it is to be you.
To appreciate how psychology can help you understand who you are, take a moment to think
of what you did, thought, and felt over the past 24 hours. As you think about the number
of different things you did and the experiences that made up your previous day, you will
be making a list of the things psychologists study. For example, think about the last time
you watched television. As you watched your favorite show, sporting event, news program,
or movie, you were engaged in many activities examined by psychologists. As you read the
following paragraphs, consider some—but not all—of the ways a psychologist might study
your television-watching behavior.
As you watched the television, the sensory receptors in your eyes and ears received the
electromagnetic radiation emitted by the television (light) and the molecular motion
produced by movement of the speakers (sound). Once the sensory organs were stimulated
by this environmental information, the neural signals passed to your brain to be processed.
Psychologists interested in sensation, the conversion of real-world energy into a neural
code, and perception, the processing of neural sensory information, study how the sensory
organs, nervous system, and brain are able to receive, encode, transfer, and make sense of the
information in your environment. One of the major challenges in understanding the viewing
of television, computer, and movie screens is comprehending how the brain transforms
the two-dimensional screen image into the perception of a three-dimensional world. This
transformation is a major perceptual challenge, but one that occurs so automatically we
hardly ever stop to think about it.
“see” has a distinct meaning. Yet another psychologist, a social psychologist, might
analyze your reaction to the aggressive discussion between a male and female character
on the show or investigate how the staged aggression between the actors influences
your behavior in the real world. Another psychologist might study your emotional
reaction to this interaction based on your racial, cultural, or sexual background. Or,
maybe, the psychologists studying your behavior are interested in how your reaction
changes based on the people with you while you watch the television program.
The possible questions raised by your television watching, as identified above, are only
a small sample of the questions psychologists can ask about this behavior. And notice
that they are not exclusive of one another. A psychologist investigating your sensory
experiences and one investigating your social experiences will come up with different
explanations of what is influencing your television watching because they are looking
at what you are doing in different ways. Television watching may seem like a simple
task to you, but the behaviors involved are complex and of great interest to a variety of
psychologists.
With so many questions we can ask about your television watching, imagine what would
happen if we looked at a more complex behavior, such as falling in love, dealing with
a school bully, or handling the loss of a loved one. Highlighting the types of questions
asked by different types of psychologists illustrates just how much about you can be
understood through psychological science.
WHAT IS PSYCHOLOGY?
Defining psychology as the scientific study of what you do captures both the breadth
and focus of psychology, but it is a little too informal for an academic introduction
psychology to the discipline. More formally, we can say that psychology is the scientific study of
the scientific study of the individual organisms’ behaviors and how environmental, physiological, mental, social,
behavior of individual and cultural events influence these behaviors. Take a moment to look back at the
organisms and how
environmental, physiological, definition of psychology, and you will notice that psychology is a complex discipline
mental, social, and cultural with three main characteristics.
events influence these
behaviors 1. Psychology is a science.
2. Psychology studies individual behavior.
3. Psychology studies the variables that influence behavior (environment, physiology,
mental processes, social interactions, and cultural practices).
Psychology Is a Science
A key component of psychology’s definition is that it is a scientific discipline. As a
science, psychology aims to accomplish its goals through systematic observation
and measurement. Psychologists conduct their research using the scientific method
Chapter One: Understanding Psychology 11
as a framework for exploring the world through developing and testing hypotheses.
Depending on the research question, a psychologist may use many of the same tools as
other scientists, including the same types of technology, methodology, and philosophy.
Similar to other scientists, research psychologists aim to describe, predict, explain, and
control behavior (we will explore this topic more fully in Chapter 2). However, while
psychologists share the same goals as other scientists, their area of study is unique. As
already established, their area of focus is you and what you do. Because your behavior is
so complex and you live in such a complex world, psychologists frequently use methods
and technologies that are distinct from those used by other scientists. For example,
psychologists often rely on surveys and self-reported experiences, two tools that are
rarely employed in the disciplines of physics and chemistry.
Publish/Report
Psychological Practitioners
Psychological Scientists • Develop technologies
• Conduct research • Work with people/
• Develop theories clients
New problems/questions
While psychology uses the basic ideas, technologies, and procedures of science, there
is a challenge in psychology that is unique to the social sciences. Psychology seeks to
understand how people behave, but the psychologists doing the research are themselves
people. This creates major challenges because we all have theories and ideas about why
people do things. In fact, it is very difficult to watch any object in motion without
developing an explanation for why it behaves the way it does. When conducting
psychological research, the explanations psychologists have for how people behave can
interfere with developing a scientific understanding of their behavior. Instead of focusing
on science-driven explanations, people have a tendency to take their observations
and informal explanations and use these to form theories to rationalize other people’s
actions. Sometimes these insights are valid, but often, they fail to accurately explain the
real reasons for behavior.
12 Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
Take a moment and consider how odd it is for the researcher and the research focus to
be the same type of object. If we were geologists studying rock formations, we would
likely not be tempted to project our feelings and experiences onto the rock. However,
as the similarity between us, as the observer, and the object of our study grows,
the tendency to project our feelings, thoughts, and emotions into the situation gets
stronger (the projecting of human experience and abilities onto nonhuman objects is
anthropomorphization formally called anthropomorphization). As psychological scientists, we must separate
the projecting of human
experience and abilities onto
ourselves carefully and purposefully from the topic of our study. While our experience
nonhuman objects can give us insights into behavior, it is essential that we compare these insights with the
outcomes of well-designed scientific studies.
As you read this book and other psychological works, you will find some ideas that
confirm your beliefs about human behavior and others that challenge them. When you
find your ideas about behavior challenged, we encourage you to ask yourself, “Why is
this different from what I thought about behavior?” and “Where did my ideas about
how people behave come from?” By developing the habit of asking questions about
what you believe and the origin of those beliefs, you will gain confidence in using
scientific knowledge guide your decisions and actions. A similar set of questions should
be asked about other people’s beliefs about behavior: “Why do they believe this?” and
“Where did their ideas about behavior come from?”
of two different lines of study. While much of the psychological literature involves
collecting data from a group of participants, the goal of a psychological study is to
understand how an individual behaves in a given situation and why.
While we are not aware of all of these different elements’ influences at any given
moment, our behavior is continuously influenced by each of them. It is tempting—
and easier—to think of these influences in isolation, such as occurs in nature/nurture
debates when people wonder whether a particular behavior is inherited (nature) or
learned (nurture), but the belief that one of these influences can act in isolation from
the others is mistaken. All of the aspects of our environment we can detect are part
of the context that influences our behavior. Because we need to understand how all
of the aspects of the environment work together to produce our behavior, we say that
psychology is an integrative study of behavior.
We discussed our tendency to adopt the characteristics of the social group in the
previous section. The degree to which we conform to the characteristics of the group
is influenced by available sources of shelter/protection, our biological susceptibility to
stress, amount of information that needs to be processed, the size of the group, and our
cultural attitudes about the individual’s value compared to the group’s. For scientific
purposes, we may isolate one or two of these influences to better understand how they
impact behavior, but in understanding real world behavior, it is important to remember
that our actions are a product of all of these influences acting together.
14 Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
Concept Recall
1. What is the formal definition of psychology?
2. Why must psychologists and other social scientists be vigilant regarding
their own biases when conducting their research?
3. How does psychology differ from other social sciences, such as
sociology and anthropology?
4. What are the five types of interactions psychologists view as shaping our
behavior?
Behavior Nonbehavior
Eating fruits and vegetables Not eating foods high in calories or sugar
Awareness of what is and is not behavior is particularly useful when we aim to change
our behavior. People frequently decide that they would like to lose weight, and to meet
this objective, they will set a goal that goes something like this: “I will not eat any
junk food.” Is “not eating junk food” a behavior? Notice that a dead person does not
spend much time eating junk food, so this intention isn’t actually a behavior. Instead,
you will have more success adopting a specific goal, such as eating healthy food or
Chapter One: Understanding Psychology 15
increasing your daily exercise, both of which are behaviors as neither of these are things
that a corpse can do. As living beings, behavior is what we do, so when trying to change
behavior, we have more success swapping one behavior for another than swapping one
behavior for a nonbehavior.
While eating healthy and exercising are directly observable behaviors, psychologists
focus on the full breadth of what an organism can do. As we look at the complexity of
behavior, we note that behavior ranges from complex, full-body movements—such as
those we would see from a professional dancer—to the microscopic changes that occur
inside a neuron, the cells that make up our nervous system (described in Chapter 3).
To appreciate the range of complexity in our behavior, think again of when you last
watched television. One large-scale behavior you were engaged in was to move your
arm toward the remote, securing the remote with your hand, lifting it, and pressing
the buttons. At the same time, the muscles surrounding the pupil of your eye were
adjusting to the brightness of the scene on the television. On the smallest level, neurons
in your brain were firing in response to the lights and sounds from the television. While
different in size and complexity, all of these behaviors are part of what you do (notice
that a dead person does not do any of these things), and all are important parts of the
experience we call watching television.
Not only do psychologists study behaviors of different size and complexity, but they
also study behaviors that occur outside the organism, such as movement of the limbs,
eye blinking, and talking, as well as the behaviors that occur inside the organism, such
as hormone secretion, changes in neurotransmitter levels, and changes in heart rate.
External, public, easily observable behaviors and internal, private, hard-to-measure
behaviors are part of what the organism does—its behavior. Figure 1.3 illustrates the
relationship between simple and complex behaviors as well as internal versus external
behaviors. All of these behaviors are important parts of understanding how we interact
with the world. Returning once again to the television-watching experience, if we
changed the way you interacted with the remote control, the way your pupils dilated,
Complex
Imagining Professional
your future dancing
Recalling the Changing the channel
“Gettysburg Address” with a remote
Internal External
Changes inside Jumping at an
neurons unexpected sound
Secreting Pupil adjusting to
hormones ambient light
Simple
1.3 Two major dimensions of behavior
Behaviors range from simple to complex, internal to external. Behaviors organisms exhibit
interact to increase the complexity of those behaviors.
16 Psychology: The Science of Who We Are
or the neurons that are active as you watch your television show, we would change your
experience. As we think about our experience with the world, it is important to note
that: there are many behaviors occurring both outside and inside as we interact with
the world, and while we are not aware of all of the behaviors we engage in, we use all of
our behaviors to create a single, unified experience of the world.
BREADTH OF PSYCHOLOGY
Everything you do, whether big or small, outside the body or inside your skin, is of
interest to, and studied by, psychologists. Not only are psychologists interested in
everything you do, but they are also interested in all of the places where you engage
in behavior. If there is a place where you could behave, there is a psychologist who
studies the effect of that context on your behavior. For example, the United States space
program employs a large team of psychologists who work on a variety of projects,
including understanding the effect of being in space on behavior. We will discuss many
of the current areas in which psychologists work at the end of the chapter. In order
to understand the breadth of psychology and psychology studies, consider the major
perspectives of the discipline.
Structuralism
As the oldest perspective of modern psychology, structuralism suggests that
psychology’s goals should be to: reduce experience to its basic elements, discover the
laws that govern these elements, and connect these elements to physiological conditions
(Schultz & Schultz, 2004). As you can see from these three objectives, structuralism’s
founder, Edward B. Titchener, believed that there are basic components to our
experience, and these components can be organized in a lawful way to produce our
Edward B. Titchener behavior, no matter how complex. Frank J. Landy (1999) described structuralism as “an
Chapter One: Understanding Psychology 17
attempt to outline the elements of consciousness from the inside out.” Titchener was functionalism
the view that psychology’s
strongly influenced by chemistry’s periodic table of the elements and argued that
goal should be to study how
psychology should similarly strive to identify and understand the basic elements that consciousness and experience
make up our experiences of the world and reduce conscious experience to its most aid in adjusting to the
elementary components (Cummins, 1991). environment
evolutionary
Functionalism psychology
a subfield of psychology
Functionalism asserts that psychology’s goal should be to study how consciousness
that aims to understand the
and experience aid in adjusting to the environment (Schultz & Schultz, 2004). Rather evolutionary pressures that
than focusing on experience itself, as suggested by Titchener, the functionalists shaped behavior and the
believed psychology’s emphasis should be on why we have experiences and what they adaptive function of behavior
accomplish. The functionalists emphasized understanding how mental operations
work, why they work that way, and how they help the organism to survive in its
current environment. Functionalists focused on how mental activities, such as
memory, perception, imagination, and judgment, enable us to evaluate, organize, and
act on experience. William James, considered by many historians to be the father of
American psychology, was the best-known proponent of the functionalist view. Today,
the ideas of functionalism are embodied in the field of evolutionary psychology: a
subfield of psychology that aims to understand the evolutionary pressures that shaped
behavior and the adaptive function of behavior. With its heavy emphasis on how our
behavior adapts to the world around us and what a given behavior’s function is in that
world, functionalism became a strong influence on the development of psychological William James
approaches to solving real-world problems (Landy, 1999).
gestalt
the view that psychology’s goal
Gestalt should be to study experience
The gestalt perspective argues that psychology’s goal should be to study experience as as a whole rather than the sum
of its parts
a whole rather than the sum of its parts. Gestalt psychologists rejected the structuralist
claim that consciousness could be broken down into its elemental components, and behaviorism
instead they claimed human experience is more than the sum of its component parts the view that psychology’s
goal should be to study
(Schultz & Schultz, 2004). A good way to understand the gestalt movement is to directly observable behavior
imagine eating all the ingredients of your favorite food separately. If you particularly and to understand how the
enjoy apple pie, you would likely be disappointed in the experience you would get from events in the environment
eating apple chunks, then sugar, cinnamon, eggs, and butter. You have all the right outside the organism produce
behavior
ingredients, but there is more to a pie than just the ingredients (and you really should
avoid eating raw eggs). Similarly, human experience is not the same if we try to break it
down into just the basic sensory components.
Behaviorism
Behaviorism suggests that psychology’s goal should be to study directly observable
behavior and to understand how the events in the external environment produce
behavior. American psychologist John Watson, who coined the term “behaviorism,”
argued that psychology could not become a science if it continued to focus on
nonobservable, subjective mental experiences. Thus, while structuralism, functionalism,
and gestalt psychology argued about how best to understand the unobservable mental John Watson
Another Random Document on
Scribd Without Any Related Topics
insult you, nor deceive myself, by concealing any of my blemishes.
Know, then, I was a drunkard, a confirmed sot at 21, too weak to
resist the dram bottle, and capable of every folly, every crime, when
under the influence of its fatal spell. I moreover hated the society of
gentlemen, and was never happy except in low company. In
London, whither I came after taking possession of my estates, I did
not know a soul; the few respectable friends or relatives of my
father I studiously avoided. Pleasure for me was only to be attained
by herding with cads and prostitutes. My position, my title, my
wealth, made this an easy task, and I soon became acquainted with
a number of that voracious, threadbare class. My most intimate
friends were broken-down gentlemen and spendthrifts of shady
reputation; fighting men and banjo men, and blood-suckers of every
type, who flattered my vanity, and led me as it were, with the one
hand, whilst they rifled my pockets with the other. They ate at my
expense, they drank at my expense; I paid their debts in many
instances, and any rascal had only to recount to me a tissue of lies
for me to at once offer him consolation by the ‘loan’ of a cheque.
‘What matters it,’ thought I; ‘was I not —, and had I not more
money than I could possibly spend in a century?’ I was passionately
fond of theatres, not respectable ones where I should have had to
behave decently, but low East-end and transpontine ones, where I
was a very swan amongst the geese, and where my title and wealth
obtained me the inestimable privilege of going behind the scenes,
and throwing money about in handfuls. On these almost nightly
visits I was invariably dunned and asked for aid by every designing
knave; they saw I was a fool, and usually drunk, and what I mistook
for homage was in reality the treatment that only a contemptible
drunkard with money, such as I, ever gets. Every scene-shifter had
a harrowing tale, or an imaginary subscription list, to all of whom I
administered bounteous monetary consolation; and any varlet with a
whole hand, and a greasy rag round it, at once received a ‘fiver’ as a
mark of sympathy for his painful accident. In short, I was a fool,
looked on as only fit to be fleeced, and simply tolerated for the sake
of my money. Would to God I had confined myself to these
contemptible but otherwise harmless follies!
“It was on a dull foggy night—a night I can never forget—that some
half-dozen of my boon companions had been dining with me at a
celebrated restaurant. The débris of the dessert had not been
removed, and they were sipping their coffee whilst I was settling the
bill, when a suggestion was made that we should go to the ‘Sussex.’
The ‘Sussex’ was a very disreputable theatre, situated somewhere
over the water, and supported entirely by the lowest classes and a
few golden calves, such as myself, who were serving their
apprenticeship, and who were permitted the inestimable privilege of
going behind the scenes—entering the green-room, or indeed any
room, and paying ten shillings a bottle for as much fluid of an
effervescent nature in champagne bottles as anybody and everybody
chose to call for. On these occasions we were ushered into the
sacred precincts, with a certain amount of implied caution similar to
and about as necessary as that assumed by a ragamuffin in the
streets when asking you to buy a spurious edition of the Fruits of
Philosophy. This, however, in my ignorance, only enhanced the
pleasure. We were, as I believed, participating in some illegal
transaction, permitted only to the most fortunate. As a fact, we
were violating no law; and if the Lord Chamberlain did not object,
Scotland Yard certainly didn’t. Etiquette on these occasions
demanded that we should be formally introduced to the various
‘ladies’ that frequented the green-room—a custom I considered
highly commendable, for in my ignorance I believed that not the
slightest difference existed between the highest exponent of tragedy
and the frowsiest ballet-girl in worsted tights and spangles.
“On this particular night, as I was watching the transformation scene
being ‘set,’ and listening to the sallies of the tawdry ‘fairies’ that
crowded the wings, my attention was attracted by a tall woman,
who was gnawing a bone with a gusto that conveyed to me the
impression she hadn’t eaten for a month. I felt for the poor
creature, and went and stood near her. I thought at the time (for I
was very drunk) that she was the most beautiful being I had ever
seen; her pink-and-white complexion (it was in reality dabs of paint)
appeared to me to be comparable only to a beautiful shell. I was
spellbound by the sight, and instantaneously and hopelessly in love.
It would have been a mercy—may God forgive me!—if that bone had
choked her. That woman eventually became ‘her ladyship.’ But I’m
anticipating.”
The poor fellow here became so affected that I begged him to
pause; it was, however, useless.
“The sight of her in a measure sobered me, and I asked her who
and what she was. She told me a harrowing tale of how she was
the eldest of seven children; that her mother was bed-ridden and
her father blind; and how she toiled at a sewing-machine all day and
at the theatre all night, and then only earned a miserable pittance,
barely sufficient to keep a roof over their heads. The recital affected
me considerably (drunken people are easily moved to tears), as she
went on to tell me how she had been in the theatre since 11 that
morning (for it was the pantomime season, and there had been a
morning performance), and how she had not tasted food until a
carpenter had kindly given her the remains of his supper. I lost no
time in procuring a bottle of champagne, and felt happier than I had
for years as she placed a tumblerful to her parched lips and drank it
off at a gulp. A few moments later I saw ‘little Rosie’ (for so she told
me her blind parent loved to call her) being lashed to an ‘iron,’ and
posing as an angel for the great transformation scene in course of
preparation. I subsequently discovered—though, alas! too late—that
‘little Rosie’ was nightly to be seen outside the ‘Criterion’ and in front
of the ‘Raleigh,’ and was known as ‘big Rose.’ But my mind has
again got in advance of my story. Oh, dear! oh, dear! where am I?”
At this stage I really got alarmed, far his excitement was evidently
increasing. Happily, however, a passing official necessitated silence,
and he eventually resumed with comparative composure.
“I will not weary you with unnecessary details; suffice it to say that
within a month we were married, and the vows that were made ’till
death should us part’ were eventually broken by the living death that
consigned me to penal servitude. After our marriage ‘little Rosie’s’
nature gradually began to change; and the frankness and naïveté
that had so captivated me gradually gave way to habits and
sentiments that astonished and alarmed me. I verily believe that,
had I found in her the woman I hoped and believed her to be, I
should truly have reformed, and given up that vile curse, drink.
Instead of that, however, I found at my elbow one who was always
ready to encourage me in the vice. Port was her favourite tipple,
and though my own state seldom permitted me to judge of her
consumption, still in my lucid intervals of sobriety I was astonished
at the amount she consumed. Gradually we began to turn night into
day, and nights of debauch regularly followed the few hours of
daylight we seldom or ever saw. Even yet I had not abandoned all
hope of reform. My conscience smote me when I was sober enough
to heed it, and in hopes of avoiding temptation I hurried with my
wife to Ireland; but even here she could not rest quiet. The cloven
foot persisted in showing itself, and we were tabooed by the whole
county. In this I found further cause for mortification—I who might
have been looked up to and sought after. I tried to spare my wife’s
feelings by concealing the real cause of our existence being ignored;
but, fool that I was, I gave way to her importunings, and actually
called on those who had avoided us. The well-merited reward of my
temerity was not long in coming. Some of the county families
returned our cards by post, whilst others sent them back by a
servant; and at a subscription ball that took place not long after we
received the cut dead. This filled up the cup of my humiliation, and
I rushed back to London. I had realised the fact that virtue won’t
herd with vice.
“A cousin about this time made his appearance, and gradually
became a daily visitor; and had my muddled faculties been more
capable of forming an opinion, I might have been puzzled how a
well-dressed and apparently gentlemanly man could be the nephew
of either the blind father or the bed-ridden mother. Gradually,
however, my suspicions were aroused, and I employed a detective to
watch them both. He fulfilled his duty, alas! too well, and I received
incontestable proof that my wife was a —, and that the ‘cousin’ was
a man with whom she had lived for years. A sickly child, too, that
frequently came to the house, and whom she often told me, with
tears in her eyes, was her ‘dead sister’s,’ I had reason to suspect
was a much nearer relative. But my feelings outstride my
discretion. I’m again going too fast, and surely you’ve heard
enough?”
I begged him to continue, for I was deeply interested in his tale.
“My wife now began to display reckless extravagance; nothing was
good enough for her; the handsome settlement I had made on her
failed to meet a fraction of her expenses, and she became so
degraded as to borrow money of my very servants. Love, they say,
is blind, and in my case, I fear, was frequently blind drunk. On these
occasions I would agree to anything, and gradually signed away first
one thing, and then another, till I found myself divested of house,
estates, everything, and a pensioner on my wife’s bounty. It may
seem incredible that anything should be capable of bringing the
blush of shame to such as I—I who for six long years have worn this
dreadful dress—but, believe me, my cheeks tingle even now when I
think of it all. I was at length compelled to resort to the
pawnbroker’s, and watch, chain, ring, everything, found their way to
an establishment in — Road. My credit, once good, was entirely
gone; tradesmen to whom I owed money began to dun me; others
refused me the smallest credit; servants, washerwomen, butchers,
and bakers all were creditors; writs and County Court summonses
were of daily occurrence; and the family mansion that my ancestors
had never disgraced was in the hands of the bailiffs. How I cried out
in my anguish will never be known. Relations I had none to whom I
could apply for sympathy or advice. My only friend was ‘drink,’ and
in my misery I turned to it with redoubled energy. I have not much
more to tell; the climax which brought me here was very near at
hand. One afternoon I had returned to our lodgings (we were then
in apartments at 28, — Place) rather sooner than expected from a
fruitless endeavour to borrow a few pounds. I had stopped at every
public-house, and gulped down a dram of cheap spirits, in hopes of
lightening my sorrow; I was, I believe, almost mad with misery and
drink. As I entered the room the first thing that met my gaze was
the hated ‘Cousin.’ To seize a loaded pistol that always hung over
the mantel-piece was the work of a second, and, without aim,
without deliberation, I fired. The report and my wife’s screams
alarmed a policeman who happened to be passing by; he entered
and found her swooning on the ground, but happily uninjured.
Thank God! I’m free of that crime—and the tell-tale bullet lodged in
the wall. Concealment was hopeless. I was there and then
arrested, and eventually sentenced, on the evidence of my wife and
her paramour, to ‘twenty years’ penal servitude.’”
His excited state alarmed me. I feared we should be observed, but
it was hopeless to attempt to check him as, with eyes starting, and
the tears flowing fast, he added, pointing to his seamed and blotchy
face: “The worst has yet to be told; look at these scars that I shall
carry with me to the grave. Can you suspect what they are? My —.”
“Hush!” I said, “they have noticed us.”
I never saw him again, but heard, months after, that the unhappy
man had died, and that the bright expectations accruing from youth,
birth, and fortune, that had been formed six short years ago, lie
buried in a nameless convict’s grave.
Not long ago I walked round to the pawn shop in — Road, with the
morbid desire of testing the truth of some of his assertions, and
found that the watch, chain, and ring were still there. I informed
the worthy pawnbroker of the real name and sad fate of his former
customer, and was almost tempted to purchase the cat’s-eye as a
souvenir of my quasi-friend; but more prudent counsels prevailed,
and I relegated them to the auction-room, to go forth with their
crests and monograms, a sad memento of fallen greatness.
CHAPTER XII.
THE CENTRAL CRIMINAL COURT.
It only proves how apt one is to form erroneous ideas from first
impressions. I was never more mistaken in my life.
CHAPTER XIII.
“CORPULENCY.”
From my birth up to within the past twelve months I have had the
misfortune to be afflicted with one of the most dreadful diseases
that flesh is heir to. It is one that entails suffering both to body and
mind, and from which a vast proportion of humanity suffers in a
more or less aggravated form. It is a slow and insidious disease that
never decreases of its own accord, but on the contrary develops
itself with one’s increasing years as surely as the most virulent
cancer. It has this advantage, however, over this latter dreadful
complaint—that it invariably yields to treatment conscientiously
applied; but it has also this disadvantage, that, whereas other
afflictions invariably enlist the sympathy of our fellow-creatures, this
one never fails to be jeered and hooted at and turned into ridicule
by the coarse and vulgar of our species. This complaint, surprising
as it may appear, is held in contempt by most of the faculty, and I
doubt whether it has ever received baptism in the English or any
other pharmacopoeia. I will therefore without further preamble
state, for the benefit of afflicted humanity, that it is called “obesity.”
In the course of my remarks I may be led into the use of what may
appear strong expressions; and if I should unwittingly offend the
susceptibilities of any fat reader, he or she will, I trust, forgive it, as
coming from one who has, as it were, gone through the mill, and
been subjected to the like ridicule and the like temptations as
themselves.
For thirty-eight years I’ve been a martyr to obesity. At my birth, as I
am credibly informed, I was enormous—a freak of nature that was
clearly intended for twins. As I developed into boyhood I still
maintained the same pronounced pattern; and when I entered the
Army as an ensign, it was said, with a certain amount of truth, that I
was eighteen years of age and 18 stone in weight. I am particular in
giving these otherwise uninteresting details, for I am aware from
experience how fat people catch at every straw to evade a
“regimen,” and invariably say as I did, “Nothing will make me thin,”
“I’ve tried everything,” “It’s natural in our family,” “My father
weighed nineteen stone,” &c., &c. I say to these people, “This is
rubbish. I don’t care if your father weighed forty and your
grandmother fifty stone; I’ll GUARANTEE to REDUCE you perceptibly and
with PERFECT SAFETY if you’ll guarantee to follow my instructions.”
For the past fifteen years I’ve tried every remedy, with, however, the
invariable result—that they did me no good, or at least so little that I
came to the conclusion that the result did not repay the
inconvenience. It must here be understood that when I refer to
“remedies,” I do not speak of some that aspire to that title, which, if
they don’t kill, don’t certainly cure; nor of others which will assuredly
first cure and then as certainly kill—though I confess to have given
even these a trial, and swallowed ingredients that don’t come well
out of analysis. I would warn all zealous fat people to be careful of
these concoctions, and at least consult a physician before saturating
their systems with poisons. I do not even refer to other “remedies,”
admittedly and which I have found safe, though before concluding
my hints I shall have a word to say about them, and give my opinion
of their respective titles to merit, on the principle that “a wink is as
good as a nod to a blind horse.” In support of my claim to credence
I may state that my appearance was known to almost everybody,
many of whom have since seen me as I now am; and though I
cannot produce testimonials from a corpulent clergyman in Australia
who weighed 40 stone and now only 14, and never felt better in his
life, nor from the fat Countess del Quackador, of Buenos Ayres, who
attributes her recovery to the sole use of —, still I can produce
myself, and seeing is usually admitted to be half way to believing.
My theory is based on that of that excellent man and apostle of
corpulency, the late Mr. Banting—a theory which, as propounded by
him, was in a crude state, but, like all great discoveries, is capable of
improvement based on experience. In short, I agree with him as a
whole, but differ on many essential points. I felt, whilst practising
his treatment, that something was wanting, and my experience has
since discovered what that something is. Others like myself may
have found the Banting theory deficient beyond a certain point. I
would ask these to give mine a fair trial for three months.
Anyone who has waded through my narrative will observe that the
dietary I subsisted on for some months of my life was in itself
incapable of reducing a man; and it was thanks to the liberal margin
I had to work upon, and the facilities I enjoyed for not only weighing
myself, but also my food, that I attribute in a great measure the
perfecting of my theory, and the reliance that may be placed on it.
Banting lays down as a principle that “quantity may fairly be left to
the natural appetite, provided the quality is rigidly adhered to.” In
this I disagree with him, but on the contrary confidently assert that
until the subject is reduced to its proper size, it is absolutely
imperative to limit the quantity as well as the quality. The quantity,
however, is a liberal one, both as regards solid and fluid. At the
same time it must be remembered that great ignorance exists as to
the weight of the commonest articles of dietary, and to form an
estimate of their weight by their appearance can only be attained by
experience. One often hears of persons that “don’t eat more than a
bird,” and stout people are invariably accredited with being small
eaters. It would astonish these persons to find that they consume in
blissful ignorance three or four pounds a day. I would recommend
every corpulent person to purchase a set of cheap scales capable of
weighing accurately one, two, four, and eight ounces (an ounce is a
word that conveys a diminutive impression, yet eight of them
constitute half a pound); these can be procured at any ironmonger’s
at a cost of two or three shillings. I would also suggest a half-pint
measure; this involves an outlay of about twopence. Without these
two articles no corpulent person’s house can be considered properly
furnished. Before commencing the experiment it is indispensable to
be accurately weighed, taking care to weigh all you have on
(separately and at another time), so that your exact weight can be
arrived at, whether attired in summer or winter clothing. By degrees
this weekly weighing becomes an amusement, and one that
increases as your weight decreases.
The following table may be accepted as fairly accurate, and shows
what the respective natural weights of persons ought to be. I do
not lay down a hard and fast rule, that in no case ought it to be
exceeded. On the contrary, my theory, based on personal
experience, convinces me that every person has his own peculiar
weight and dimensions as intended by Nature, and when he has
found his “bearings”—which he will have no difficulty in doing, as I
shall explain hereafter, by unmistakable symptoms—any further
reduction is attended with difficulty, and is, indeed, unnecessary.
Taken, however, as something to work upon, the following scale,
obtained from a leading insurance company, may be studied with
advantage; and when the corpulent reader has arrived within half a
stone of the specified weight—a generous concession surely—he
may then, but not till then, begin to take occasional liberties, both as
regards quantity and quality. I am offering these remarks to those
only who conscientiously intend to give my theory a fair trial. To
those lukewarm disciples who would like to be thin, without
possessing the self-denial necessary for this most simple remedy, I
cannot do better than apply the views I once heard expressed by a
piper to a cockney officer in a Highland regiment who asked him to
play the “Mabel” valse—that “it would only be making a fool of the
tune and a fool of the pipes.”
When the reader has attained to within half a stone of these figures,
he will have the game in his own hands, and can regulate his system
with as much accuracy as a clock. On November 25th, 1881, I
weighed the enormous weight of 19 stone 13 lbs. On October 1st,
1882, I weighed 12 stone 4 lbs., and with a loss of 18 inches in girth
—i.e., a reduction of 7 stone 9 lbs.; and as this can be verified, my
opinion is at least worthy of attention. I consider it absolutely
necessary that one should at first limit one’s self to 2 pounds solid
and 3 pints fluid daily; and I cannot do better than give the dietary I
have pursued for the past five or six months in the south of France:
—
At 6 A.M.—I take half-a-pint of black coffee and one ounce of coarse
brown bread or biscuit.
At 9 A.M.—I breakfast off four ounces of lean meat, three ounces of
brown bread or biscuit, and half-a-pint of black coffee.
At 2 P.M.—I have six ounces lean meat, three ounces brown bread or
biscuit, six ounces green vegetables, and half-a-pint of any fluid
except ale, effervescing wines, or aërated waters.
After Dinner—I take half-a-pint of coffee.
At 6 P.M.—I take half-a-pint of coffee.
At Supper—I have two ounces brown bread or biscuit, and a couple
of glasses of sherry or claret.
Independently of this I eat fruit ad lib. I find as a broad rule that all
vegetables that grow above ground, such as cauliflower, artichokes,
sprouts, &c. (except peas and rice), are conducive to health;
whereas all that grow underground, such as potatoes, carrots, beet-
root, &c., are fat persons’ poison. It is immaterial what meat one
eats, whether fish, flesh—except pork—or fowl, but it is necessary to
avoid the fat. Stout persons will find, as I did, an inclination to
smuggle in a little, but they must flee from the temptation. A severe
trial at first is confining one’s self to this quantity and quality, whilst
others are indulging to a greater extent at the same table; but the
feeling soon wears off, and must be looked on as the penalty
attached to Pharaoh’s fat kine. Fat people never consider that if
they were suffering from a cancer they would not hesitate to submit
to amputation—and amputation is not unattended with pain—to
prolong life; and yet they waver regarding the treatment of
corpulency—an equally certain enemy to life—with a painless
remedy! Do they invariably also, in other paths of life, return good
for evil, and heap coals of fire on an enemy’s head? And yet here is
a hideous, ungainly, deadly foe pampered and fattened at the cost of
life, comfort, and appearance. And then the ridicule! I ask you,
amiable fat reader, is that agreeable? I would, in fact, make obesity
penal, as calling for special legislation, whereby the police would be
justified in arresting oleaginous pedestrians, clapping them into the
scales at the nearest police-station, and if they exceeded a certain
number of feet in circumference, or weight, at once procure their
summary imprisonment, without the option of a fine. The streets
would thus be cleared of these fleshy obstructions; besides which, if
the law recognises attempted suicide as a crime in one way, why not
in another? The dietary I have suggested is conducive to
constipation, a result that brown bread remedies considerably, if not
entirely removes. There are brown breads and brown breads,
however, and after trying a good many, I have come to the
conclusion that the “whole meal bread” made by Messrs. Hill and
Son, of 60, Bishopsgate Street Within, and 3, Albert Mansions,
Victoria Street, is admirably adapted to the requirements of the
corpulent. It keeps the bowels open, is delicious in flavour, and
entirely free from the alum that finds its way into many other kinds.
Some six months ago I had an interview with a member of this firm,
and explained my views of the advantages that would attend a
biscuit made of the same meal. I have lately tasted some made by
them, that are apparently specially adapted for the consumption of
the corpulent; and as they have agents in every part of the kingdom,
the regular supply is within the reach of all. I strongly commend
these to all my readers. There is one more item to which I attach
great importance, namely, the taking at bed-time of one teaspoonful
of liquorice-powder (German Pharmacopoeia) in half a tumbler of
water. This quantity may be gradually increased, as circumstances
seem to require; and as a good deal depends on the purity and
freshness of this drug, the advisability of going to a good chemist
cannot be too strongly urged. I have often been told that smoking
is injurious to the corpulent, but this I consider sheer nonsense. I
smoke from morning to night, and, on the contrary, believe it makes
up for the larger amount of food one had previously been in the
habit of consuming. In America, where I spent many happy years, I
was never without “a smoke,” a habit I still continue, though with
the disadvantage of having to substitute British for the fragrant
Oronoko and Perique tobaccos. This latter is, in my estimation,
whether used as cigar, cigarette, or in a pipe, the finest tobacco in
the world. I have discovered, beyond doubt, that a person afflicted
with obesity is affected by the smallest transgression of the strict
regimen. I have for experiment taken one lump of sugar in my
coffee at meals, and found that this single innovation has produced
an increase of a pound in my weight in a week; indeed, a person
disposed to this affliction is as sensitive as an aneroid. It was in May
last that I first determined to reap at least one benefit from my late
incarceration, and, by a careful regard to quantity and quality, to test
effects that my position and the time at my disposal offered great
facilities for, and thus reduce corpulency to a science, and its
reduction to a certainty. A reference to other portions of this
narrative will put it beyond a doubt that the unlimited amount of
food at my disposal made this an easy task. I will not here go into
these particulars, as a detailed account necessary for the unbroken
interest in my narrative will be found elsewhere, but will confine
myself to giving a table of the reduction I made in myself by my own
free-will and determination.
I weighed
1881. stone pounds
November 25th 19 13
December 7th 19 9
,, 19th 18 12
1882.
January 10th 18 1
,, 31st 17 12
March 20th 16 10
May 18th 16 4
June 6th 15 12
,, 20th to July 2nd 15 8
July 15th 15 4
,, 29th 14 10
September 2nd 13 2
,, 9th 12 10
,, 23rd 12 6
October 1st 12 4
Making a total loss of 107 lbs. (7 stone 9 lbs.) in 318 days. This loss
was not obtained without great determination and self denial, but
was it not worth it? If any corpulent reader could see my
photograph of November, 1881, and November, 1882, he would, I
think, admit it was, and receive a stimulus to persevere as I did. A
reference to the above table will show no diminution between June
20th and July 2nd. I attribute this to my having found what I call
my “bearings,” for though continuing in the same course, I could not
get away from 15 stone 8 lbs. I persisted, however, and eventually
succeeded; and the next date shows a steady decline. I would
recommend no experimentalist to transgress this bound, and when
they find that after a fortnight’s continuance of the strict system they
have obtained no perceptible diminution of weight they should STOP;
they have found their “bearings,” and any further perseverance is
attended with unnecessary inconvenience. The time, however, has
then come for most careful watch and guard, and the slightest
liberty is accompanied by a proportionate increase. Yielding to the
kindly meant advice of friends, I some months ago took new milk
and other fattening luxuries, with the result of increasing a stone in
six weeks. I had, however, the remedy in my own hands, and can
now play fast and loose with an amusing degree of certainty. I can,
without an effort, reduce or increase my weight three or four pounds
in a week, and having attained the comfortable weight of 13 stone
10 lbs, I am determined never again to turn the scale beyond 14
stone. I allow this margin as the legitimate perquisite of advancing
years.
In conclusion, I guarantee reduction with perfect safety to all who
will honestly try the following regimen in its integrity for three
months:—
Breakfast—Eight ounces coarse brown bread (yesterday’s baking);
four ounces lean meat; one pint coffee or other fluid.
Dinner.—Four and a-half ounces brown bread; six ounces any lean
meat (or, if preferred as an occasional substitute, half-pint of soup—
ten ounces); six ounces green vegetables; one pint fluid.
Tea.—One and a-half ounces brown bread; half a pint of coffee.
Supper.—One or two glasses of wine, or a glass of spirit and water
(except rum); and two ounces biscuit.
Total.—Two pounds solid and three pints fluid.
Bed-time.—One teaspoonful liquorice powder (German
pharmacopoeia) in half a tumbler of water.
I have parcelled the above out into meals to meet the ordinary taste,
though it is quite immaterial how or when the quantity is taken. It
is, moreover, a matter of perfect indifference whether tea (no sugar
or milk), claret, or, in fact, any other fluid (except ale and aërated or
effervescing drinks), is substituted for coffee.
The principal points on which I differ from the so-called “Banting”
system are:—
(a) The limiting of the quantity till a proper reduction has taken
place.
(b) The occasional substituting (if desired) of soup for meat, which I
have found attended with no inconvenience.
(c) The substitution of brown bread or brown biscuit for toast or rusk
—thereby obviating constipation.
(d) The taking of liquorice powder at bed-time in lieu of the alkaline
on rising.
To the uninitiated the above may appear trifles; their advantage can
only be estimated by those who have tried both systems.
CHAPTER XIV.
COLDBATH FIELDS.
As the key turned in the ponderous door, and I found myself, with
sixteen others, standing on a huge mat in a dismal corridor, I
realised that I had arrived “home,” or at what I might consider as
such, for—as I imagined—the next eighteen months. I had already
passed one week in Newgate, and really thought, in the
sanguineness of my heart, that I had made a considerable hole in
my sentence, and that the remaining seventy-seven weeks would
soon slip by. My first intimation that the place was inhabited, except
by mutes, was hearing a metallic voice saying, pro bono publico,
“You’ll find that talking is not permitted here—you mustn’t talk.” By
peering into the gloom I discovered that the voice belonged to a
bald head, and the bald head to a venerable head warder. The poor
old man was super-annuated shortly after, and evidently meant to
show the recruits he was not to be trifled with, and that there was
life in the old dog yet. We were next taken through endless
corridors to the “Reception Room.” Can any name be more
suggestive of satire, except perhaps “Mount Pleasant,” the hill so
called on which the prison stands, bounded at each corner by a
public-house, and a “pop-shop” here and there sandwiched in
between! The reception we received in the Reception Room was far
from a cordial one; it was, indeed, as cold as the weather outside.
The Reception Room is octagon shape, with benches arranged over
the entire floor; on these we were directed to sit down, about a yard
apart. In front was a large desk and a high stool, on which a
turnkey was perched, whose sole duty was to prevent the least
intercourse between the prisoners; in fact, the entire room and its
fittings conveyed the impression of being connected with a charity
school for mutes. The Reception Room is the first and last place a
prisoner passes through; it is here that, on his arrival, he is
transformed into the Queen’s livery, and again on his departure
reverts to citizen’s clothing—it is, in fact, the filter through which the
dregs of London have to pass before becoming sufficiently purified
to be again permitted to mingle with the pure stream outside. The
silence of the grave is its normal condition, where the novice
receives a foretaste of the “silent system.”
We must have sat thus silently for at least an hour, when a door
from outside was unlocked, and a warder, accompanied by two
prisoners carrying sacks, made their appearance. The contents of
these, being thrown on the floor, were discovered to be boots, not
new ones, or even pairs, but very old and dirty, mended and patched
with lumps of leather on the soles, on the heels, and, in fact,
anywhere. We were now invited to “fit” ourselves, and a scramble
ensued amongst a section of the prisoners. I selected a nondescript
pair, tied by a cord, as unsuited a couple as ever were united, the
right foot of which would have fitted an elephant, and the left have
been tight for a cork leg. With this unsavoury acquisition on my lap
I resumed my seat. It is the custom, as I before hinted, to show
one the worst of everything at first, and the rule that applied to the
cells was clearly in force regarding the boots. I found, however, that
after the general “fit,” and when a comparative lull ensued, that
some of the more fortunate ones had better ones supplied, and I
shortly after received a new pair in exchange for my “fit.” The next
thing that made its appearance was a basket full of caps and
stocks. Here I was less fortunate, and the size of my head
precluded the possibility of a fit. The basket was followed by a
bundle of wooden labels, on each of which our various names were
inscribed; with these in our hands, we were told to “Come along.”
My label considerably puzzled me. We now found ourselves in the
corridor devoted to baths, where each man received a bundle of
clothing. The object of the label now manifested itself; it was to
attach to our clothes—not likely to be wanted for some time. The
bundles consisted of a pair of blue worsted socks, a blue striped
shirt, a blue pocket-handkerchief the thickness of a tile, a towel as
coarse as a nutmeg-grater, and a suit of clothes. The clothes, when
new, are really very good, and by no means objectionable. There is
nothing of that conspicuous, degrading appearance about them that
distinguishes the convict dress. On the contrary, the trousers and
vest are well cut, and made of good warm mole-skin; the jacket is a
capital material, and were it not for painful associations, and the
possibility of unpleasant attentions from zealous policemen, I would
gladly have a suit of the jacket material. The otherwise agreeable
effect is somewhat marred by the broad-arrow Government mark,
which appears to be applied regardless of all symmetry and indeed
of all expense. No general rule apparently exists as to the marking
of this cloth, which one must conclude is left entirely to the
discretion and good taste of the individual armed with the paint-pot.
This want of uniformity thus lends an agreeable variety to the
different appearances of individuals; for my part, I always felt that I
resembled the “Seven of Spades.” The Baths are, as I found them
at Newgate, in themselves excellent, and if one could forget one’s
probable predecessor, the enjoyment would be considerably
enhanced. They were, I daresay, perfectly clean, though I always
fancied I detected a Seven-Dials mouse-trap flavour in the
atmosphere, and in the water. The bath, as an institution, admirably
fulfils its twofold function; it insures a thorough wash, and removes
the last trace of one’s former self. Entering the apartment with the
bundle under my arm, I proceeded to divest myself of my clothing.
I had not, however, been many seconds submerged before an eye
was applied to the peephole, followed by the entrance of a turnkey,
and all my clothing was carefully removed. The process of re-
dressing was not an easy one; nothing came within a foot of my size
except the socks; the overalls declined to do anything like meeting,
and a piece of twine was pressed into the service. The waistcoat
was another trial, necessitating the turnkey calling for the “corpulent
waistcoat.” Trussed up in this fashion, I patiently awaited the
“corpulent” waistcoat, a marvel of tailoring. The chest measurement
could not have exceeded thirty-six; whilst the waist (?) must have
been one hundred. From the “corpulent” one only reaching half-way
down my chest, I concluded that its original owner must have been
about five-foot-nothing. But the warder very good-naturedly said
“he’d make it all right,” and not long after I was measured, and
within twenty-four hours possessed a brand-new suit. My enormous
size also necessitated special shirts; a couple were made in an
incredibly short space of time, and all through my career I
experienced the benefit of wearing linen that had never been
contaminated by contact with “baser metal.” The warder to whom I
was indebted for these delicate attentions was one of the best in the
prison, and though I never came much in contact with him, I
understood he was a great favourite. He was connected with the
stores, and could get more done in an hour than one of the
blustering kind in a week. Before leaving the baths, I would wish to
draw attention to a custom that calls for immediate alteration. The
system at present in vogue is for all prisoners to have a bath
immediately on arrival, after which they undergo medical
examination. At these examinations, as is well known, many
creatures are found, not only to be alive with vermin, but suffering
from itch. With these facts, that are not to be gainsaid, common
sense surely suggests a medical examination before instead of after
the bath, an arrangement which, however disagreeable to the
surgeons, would be a considerable benefit to the prison inmates
generally. It is a common occurrence for men who have been in
prison three, and even six months, to be found to be suffering from
itch, and it is equally certain that they caught it in these baths,
which are pro bono publico once a fortnight. I thank God I was
spared any of these “plagues,” though I never took my periodical dip
without finding my thoughts wandering to Scotland and the Argyll
(not Bignell’s).
Having joined my companions we were reconducted to the
reception-room, which by this time was crowded by contributions
from the various Police-courts. My Newgate friend Mike was now
thoroughly in his element; he appeared to take a pride in showing
his intimacy with the etiquette of the place, and seemed quite hurt if
a warder didn’t recognize him as an old acquaintance. As I looked
down the benches now fully occupied, I fancied I could have
distinguished every new comer from the habitué by the way they
wore their caps. The new hands put them on in such a manner that
they resembled a quartern loaf, whilst the more experienced—such
as Mike—cocked them with a jaunty air as if proud of the effect. At
a later period I observed that a great deal of vanity existed on the
subject of toilet amongst the regular jail-birds: they plastered down
their hair—as I know—with the greasy skimmings of their soup, or
applications of suet pudding; and many—incredible as it may appear
—shaved regularly with their tin knives and the back of a plate for a
mirror. Hair-cutting now commenced, and anyone whose hair was
too long was effectually operated on. It is a mistake to suppose that
prisoners’ hair is cut in the barbarous manner that is applied to
convicts; nothing is done to them beyond what a soldier has to
submit to—namely, having his hair and beard of moderate length.
As I have all through life kept what I have as close as possible, the
hair-cutting in my case was dispensed with, and through the
subsequent few months I had always to ask for the services of the
barber, and invariably received the same reply—“Surely, yours is
short enough!” There was one item in the crop I was never
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