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HUMIDITY AND ELECTRONICS
This page intentionally left blank
 Woodhead Publishing Series in Materials

HUMIDITY AND
ELECTRONICS
CORROSION RELIABILITY ISSUES
AND PREVENTIVE MEASURES

RAJAN AMBAT
KAMILA PIOTROWSKA
Woodhead Publishing is an imprint of Elsevier
The Officers’ Mess Business Centre, Royston Road, Duxford, CB22 4QH, United Kingdom
50 Hampshire Street, 5th Floor, Cambridge, MA 02139, United States
The Boulevard, Langford Lane, Kidlington, OX5 1GB, United Kingdom
Copyright © 2022 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, elec-
tronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage and retrieval
system, without permission in writing from the publisher. Details on how to seek permission, fur-
ther information about the Publisher’s permissions policies and our arrangements with organiza-
tions such as the Copyright Clearance Center and the Copyright Licensing Agency, can be found at
our website: www.elsevier.com/permissions.
This book and the individual contributions contained in it are protected under copyright by the
Publisher (other than as may be noted herein).
Notices
Knowledge and best practice in this field are constantly changing. As new research and experience
broaden our understanding, changes in research methods, professional practices, or medical treat-
ment may become necessary.
Practitioners and researchers must always rely on their own experience and knowledge in evaluat-
ing and using any information, methods, compounds, or experiments described herein. In using
such information or methods they should be mindful of their own safety and the safety of others,
including parties for whom they have a professional responsibility.
To the fullest extent of the law, neither the Publisher nor the authors, contributors, or editors,
assume any liability for any injury and/or damage to persons or property as a matter of products
liability, negligence or otherwise, or from any use or operation of any methods, products, instruc-
tions, or ideas contained in the material herein.
British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
A catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress
ISBN: 978-0-323-90853-5 (print)
ISBN: 978-0-323-90854-2 (online)

For information on all Woodhead Publishing publications

visit our website at https://www.elsevier.com/books-and-journals

Publisher: Matthew Deans

Acquisitions Editor: Kayla Dos Santos
Editorial Project Manager: Isabella C. Silva
Production Project Manager: Anitha Sivaraj
Cover Designer: Greg Harris
Typeset by MPS Limited, Chennai, India
 Contents

Preface vii

1. Humidity and electronics: corrosion perspectives 1

1.1 Scope of this book 1
1.2 History of electronics 6
1.3 Use of materials in modern electronics 13
1.4 Electronics and corrosion reliability today 15
References 18

2. Basic theory of corrosion and important failure mechanisms

connected to corrosion in electronics 19
2.1 Definition of corrosion 19
2.2 Corrosion in electronics versus conventional corrosion scenario 21
2.3 Electrochemical corrosion of metals under wet conditions 24
2.4 Corrosion failure modes for electronics and related mechanisms 48
References 88

3. Factors determining water film buildup on surfaces and

relevance to corrosion in electronics 93
3.1 Characteristics of moisture 94
3.2 Interaction of humidity with electronics 103
References 138

4. Importance of PCBA cleanliness in humidity interaction with

electronics 141
4.1 Nature of the residue and humidity interaction 143
4.2 Contamination originating from the PCBA manufacturing process 147
4.3 Contamination related to operator handling 181
4.4 Contamination originating from the user environment (service life) 182
References 191

v
vi Contents

5. Materials and processes for electronic devices and components: how

they contribute to corrosion reliability? 197
5.1 Manufacturing process of bare printed circuit board 199
5.2 Component assembling, mounting, and soldering processes 214
5.3 Electronic components 225
References 249

6. Examples of corrosion failures in electronics: summary of case

studies 251
6.1 Failures due to process-related cleanliness issues as a main factor 251
6.2 Failures caused by corrosive gases and humidity 259
6.3 Failures due to material combinations and environment 271
6.4 Failures of high-power electronic systems due to environmental conditions 278
References 281

7. Preventive measures for corrosion in electronics: intrinsic and

extrinsic strategies 285
7.1 Intrinsic methods for corrosion mitigation in electronics 286
7.2 Extrinsic methods for enhancing the humidity robustness 300
References 336

8. Corrosion reliability testing, standards, and failure analysis 339

8.1 Testing of PCBA cleanliness and contamination level 341
8.2 Tests investigating the cleanliness and corrosion effects 350
8.3 Methodology of accelerated testing of electronic equipment 374
8.4 Spectroscopic and microscopic methods 376
References 379

Index 381
 Preface

Today, electronics is used everywhere as a part of industrial systems

and as consumer electronics, while the intended use of electronic sys-
tems will be exponentially increased in the future. The focus of 21st-
century technological development is oriented toward sustainability.
Today’s three main global challenges are energy, clean water, and clean
air, and electronics is an integral part of this development, while, on the
other side, the everyday life of a person is closely connected to the use
of several electronic gadgets and their performance. Efficient electrical
energy production, distribution, and utilization are the most important
aspects for sustainable development, especially considering the growth
in the renewable energy sector within the next 20 years, and reliable
electronics are the key components.
The effect of exposure climate on the robustness and reliability of
electronics is more significant today than before due to their widespread
use exposing them to all types of climatic conditions. Although humid-
ity is the key factor contributing to the robustness and reliability issues,
other atmospheric conditions such as the presence of aerosol and gas-
eous contaminations also influence the device performance. All result in
several corrosion failure modes causing intermittent or permanent fail-
ures at the component-, Printed Circuit Board Assembly (PCBA)-, or
system level. There exist other inherent factors related to the electronic
systems contributing to these increased robustness and reliability issues
such as the multimaterial usage, miniaturization, electrical aspects, or
process-related issues, all while the systems are expected to perform in
mild to harsh climatic conditions without failure occurrence. Such pro-
blems will increase significantly in the future due to the enhanced inte-
gration of electronics as part of all technological sectors, for example, in
connection with a green transition and e-mobility. Today, the knowl-
edge on corrosion reliability issues of electronics and how to tackle
them are limited among those involved in developing and using the
electronics.
Difficulty in understanding the corrosion reliability issues of electron-
ics is also related to the interdisciplinary nature of this subject compared
to the conventional corrosion topics. Although the fundamental basis of
the failure mechanisms of corrosion in electronics is centered on electro-
chemical or chemical aspects, the resulting effect on the product is man-
ifested as electrical functional issues. Additionally, behavior of the

vii
viii Preface

materials (individually or in combination due to the multimaterial usage

and manufacturing process-related issues) plays a key role. For exam-
ple, PCBA as a whole corroding substrate is too complex to understand
as it does not involve only the material- and corrosion-related features,
but also corrosion mechanisms that interact with the electrical and elec-
tronic functionality of the system.
This book attempts to provide a discussion on these topics at a basic
level with an intention to cover the readers from across the interdisci-
plinary areas, while providing a more detailed discussion on topics
with well-referenced coverage of literature—all to build the knowledge
from a basic to the application level. The book contains a mix of aca-
demic and industrial relevance, making it suitable for a detailed under-
standing of the humidity-related issues in electronics, both for the
materials and corrosion experts and for electronics and electrical
experts. Our ambition is for the book to be useful for researchers, aca-
demics, and the industrial community involved in materials, corrosion,
and electronics reliability aspects. The methodology used in the book is
based on a proactive-design-prevention perspective. To the best of
author’s knowledge, this is the first book in this area comprehensively
discussing these topics.
Today, many failures in electronics are not identified due to corrosion
because of two factors: (1) difficulty in locating the humidity-related
failures as the traces of failure could disappear during disassembling
and (2) lack of knowledge on the corrosion failures and related factors
among those involved in failure analysis, therefore, compromising the
quality of the failure evaluation. Lack of knowledge also influences the
possibility of implementing the preventive measures, as there is no com-
prehensive knowledge on steps that could be taken to instill the corro-
sion reliability perspective from the production stage. This book tried to
fill this gap by attempting to show a number of intrinsic and extrinsic
possibilities for preventing the occurrence of corrosion failures in elec-
tronic devices.
The limitation of any book is related to the difficulty in covering all
relevant subtopics in detail. Our aim is to provide a broad coverage
encompassing all required topics in relation to the title of the book;
however, this meant cutting short on certain topics depending on their
relative importance. To address this issue, chapters are well referenced
for providing additional information to the reader. We strongly urge the
readers to further explore the topics using the references provided at
the end of each chapter.
All books are expected to contain some errors due to the massive
nature of the work. We expect the same to be true for this book despite
the repeated reading and editing exercises. If you find any mistakes or
 Preface ix

discrepancies, please inform us so that they can be corrected in the

future.
There are many people that we owe our sincere thanks in connection
with preparing this book. Many topics covered in it contain a summa-
rized knowledge from a number of research activities and published
work from the CELCORR research group based at DTU. In this respect,
we are indebted to several students and researchers who have contrib-
uted to these activities in the last 15 years, although, due to space limita-
tions, all names cannot be mentioned. Our foremost appreciation goes
to Daniel Minzari, Umadevi Rathinavelu, Vadimas Verdingovas, Helene
Conseil-Gudla, Morten Jellesen, Feng Li, Salil Joshy, Simone Lauser,
Ioannis Mantis, Sajjad Bahrebar, Anish Rao, Abhijeet Yadav, and Peter
Westermann. We are also indebted to the collaborators from our indus-
trial partners, namely, Danfoss, Grundfos, Vestas, Eltek, Volvo, Widex,
Inventec, Wevo, and Bosch, who have contributed to generating the
knowledge relevant to this book. Many other research and industrial
partner’s contributions, through their participation in various research
programs during the last 15 years, are also acknowledged, although
their names are not mentioned. Additionally, we would like to acknowl-
edge Mathilde Buret (Inventec), Chris Hunt (GEN3 systems), and Lutz
Muller (Bosch) for providing pictures for illustrations. We are also
grateful to the staff of Elsevier for a great collaboration and profession-
alism during this project.
Finally, we would like to thank our family members Indu, Deepthi,
Tina, Hanna, Ryszard, and Hristo for providing enough time for us to
spare for this work, which otherwise belongs to them.

Rajan Ambat and Kamila Piotrowska

This page intentionally left blank
 C H A P T E R

1
Humidity and electronics:
corrosion perspectives

1.1 Scope of this book

The use of electronics has today increased in all walks of life, which is
demonstrated especially in the increasing number of consumer devices
produced and sold worldwide, as well as an emergence of a high number
of industrial systems serving as control systems or other parts. This vari-
ety spans from low-power to high-power equipment, such as communi-
cation and computing devices, to high-end power electronics used for
various applications. Electrification of vehicles today is another example
of the use of electronic systems that are supposed to reliably operate in
extremely harsh environmental conditions. Efficient power electronics is
a key to all technological sectors today, for example, for renewable
energy, E-mobility, and information technology. Widespread use of elec-
tronic systems means exposure to varying humidity and temperature
conditions. Regional and seasonal variation of climatic conditions can
cause uncontrolled local variation of humidity levels inside the devices.
The presence of a high level of humidity together with other environmen-
tal conditions and inherent aspects of electronic parts results in several
corrosion-related failure modes.
Miniaturization drive for producing a high-density Printed Circuit
Board Assembly (PCBA) or microcircuits integrating a higher amount of
built-in components/functionalities is another factor contributing to this
problem. PCBA being the heart of the electronic instrument, reliability
of PCBA as a whole in terms of functionality, and corrosion degradation
of individual components all leading to compromise on functionality
are very important. Taking PCBA as an example, the effect of humidity
is essentially related to the build-up of water film on the PCBA surface

Humidity and Electronics

DOI: https://doi.org/10.1016/B978-0-323-90853-5.00004-9 1 © 2022 Elsevier Ltd. All rights reserved.
2 1. Humidity and electronics: corrosion perspectives

of varying thickness and resulting - electrochemical processes occurring

due to the water film connecting different metallic materials or biased
points on the PCBA surface. Therefore close spacing facilitates water
film connectivity compared to more spatially separated components.
Moreover, some of the dimensions on the PCBA or components are
today so small that the allowable loss of material for failure due to cor-
rosion can be minuscule. A car can function with even pounds of metal
lost in the course of corrosion, while an electronic device may easily fail
with a material loss of less than 1 pg, a factor 1015 smaller.
Individual layers on a multilayer metallic coated part on a PCBA sur-
face can be very thin, for example, 100 nm gold layer in the case of
ENIG (electroless-nickel immersion gold) surface finish. Similar thin
metal layers and microconnections are also a part of components placed
on the PCBA such as integrated circuits (ICs). Overall the size of the
components is also becoming smaller with today’s average reduction of
passive components’ size below 1 mm. Further, due to the miniaturiza-
tion, the drive for reducing power consumption results in a low-power
dissipating electronics—the trend that goes against the humidity effects
due to the lack of self-heating, which can otherwise prevent moisture
from forming the water film on the PCBA surface. Typical examples are
the advent of low RDS (on) and low switching charge MOSFETs
(metal
oxide
semiconductor field-effect transistors) based on SiC (sili-
con carbide) and GaN (gallium nitride) that reduce the overall heat dis-
sipated in power electronics, thus favoring lower temperatures and
high humidity inside the power converters that use these technologies.
Environmental conditions causing corrosion problems in electronics
relate to the varying climate conditions of the place of use such as
humidity and temperature fluctuations throughout day/night and sea-
sonally, precipitation levels, and other atmospheric conditions, for
example, ionic and nonionic contaminants in the air or the concentration
of corrosive gases. Although electronics parts are protected by packag-
ing, ingress of humidity and gases can take place depending on the
tightness of the packaging. The majority of the devices are packaged
nonhermetically due to the cost, serviceability, and other issues result-
ing from the hermetically sealed packages.
Electronic parts are very seldom in direct contact with a large amount
of water; however, electronic parts such as PCBA can come in contact
with varying levels of water film thickness depending on the surrounding
humidity level, differential temperature, or ionic contamination on the
surface. Corrosion degradation of electronics can occur as a result of such
interaction, however, also due to other factors, for example, corrosive
gases. Although water is not a prerequisite for corrosive gas
induced
degradation of electronics, the presence of moisture can accelerate corro-
sion due to gases due to the solubility of such gases in water film and

Humidity and Electronics

 1.1 Scope of this book 3

chemical reactions producing the aggressive chemical species that facili-

tate corrosion occurrence.
The overexposure of electronic systems, devices, and components to
such environmental conditions leads to several degradation mechanisms
involving materials and components acting as functional part of the devices.
Although the exact nature of functionality issues arising from the effect of
exposure conditions varies depending on the specificity of the involved
electronic part, major influence is due to the metallic parts undergoing cor-
rosion that leads to a total electrical failure and interference on functionality.
Therefore failure in electronics can be intermittent or permanent. For the
PCBA being the substrate for many microdevices and components, the
effect of humidity on the reliability is a critical aspect due to the possibility
of interconnections (e.g., between the metallic components) forming due to
the water layer that can be developed on the PCBA surface. The failure
modes arising from the humidity effects are electrochemical in nature due
to corrosion of the involved materials or components or functionality issues
caused by the stray currents [e.g., leak current or surface insulation resis-
tance (SIR) reduction]. Therefore the whole issue of understanding the cor-
rosion in electronics is complex as it involves interdisciplinary aspects such
as materials, chemistry, electrochemistry, and electronics.
The formation of water film on the PCBA, or on any other electronic
component, and the subsequent corrosion problems should be treated
based on the electrochemical mechanisms occurring in the water film in
order to clearly define their influence on the electrical functionality of the
whole PCBA or on individual components. Treating water layer as a pure
resistor element is incorrect as the electrochemical process at the
electrode
water interfaces and the chemical changes in the electrolyte film
do not follow the current-potential relationships for a metallic conductor.
Additionally, the chemistry of the water film is important as well as the
dynamic chemistry changes that occur during the corrosion process.
Further, the three main factors required for a significant vulnerability of
electronics toward corrosion exist on a PCBA surface, namely, metallic mate-
rials, potential bias, and aggressive environments (Fig. 1.1). Different parts
of the PCBA surface exhibit varying bias levels and forms (AC, DC, or other
waveforms) and the values of potential are significantly higher than those
encountered in the normal corrosive conditions. Voltage levels on a PCBA
surface, especially for the high-power systems, can exceed 1000 V.
Another important aspect of corrosion of electronics is that some of
the failure mechanisms are different from the conventional corrosion pro-
cess as they result from the passage of electrochemical current through
the water film between the biased functional points on the PCBA. On a
PCBA surface (or between the biased points in general), a current leaking
through the water layer interferes with the required electrical functional-
ity. This can lead to the occurrence of intermittent or permanent

Humidity and Electronics

4 1. Humidity and electronics: corrosion perspectives

FIGURE 1.1 Parameters promoting corrosion of electronic devices.

functional failures of the device, which may sometimes be extremely dif-

ficult to detect in order to define the root cause of failure during the fail-
ure analysis. Leak current failures (manifested with or without a
formation of dendrites) caused by the electrochemical migration (ECM)
or conductive anodic filament (CAF) formation are difficult to trace dur-
ing the process of failure analysis. Detection of such failures is often
impossible as the water film evaporates in the course of failure analysis,
and the levels of residue/corrosion formed due to ECM and CAF can be
limited for detection even when employing microscopic methods.
Formation of metal dendrites between closely spaced points, taking place
upon ECM phenomenon, and the conductive oxide path formation dur-
ing CAF are field-dependent; therefore an increased device miniaturiza-
tion has a significant effect on these failure modes.
Overall the result of corrosion in electronics today is the reduced life span
for the products and, sometimes, a heavy economic loss due to the failure
occurs during application. Indirect economic loss is also incurred due to the
plant downtime, loss of functionality of the device, or, sometimes, cata-
strophic failures leading to accidents and health issues. Although the exact
worldwide cost of electronics corrosion is yet to be estimated due to the
primitiveness and complexity of the problem, a large percentage of the
annual corrosion cost of B3% of the world’s GDP and 3%
4% of GDP in
industrialized countries can be attributed due to electronic corrosion, which
is expected to increase further due to the increased use of electronics in all
sectors. An estimate reported in 1998 shows that USD 1 billion was spent on
annual repair of failed electronic circuits in US telephone switching offices
and approximately 20% of the failures (worth USD 200 million) occurred
due to indoor air pollutants. The 2016 reports showed direct corrosion costs
of USD 276 billion in the United States alone [1]. However, the overall eco-
nomic loss due to the electronics corrosion today is much higher due to the
global widespread use of industrial and consumer electronic systems.
Fig. 1.2A shows the typical distribution of electronic components
affected by various failures that also include a large percentage due to

Humidity and Electronics

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 THE
PIT TOWN CORONET:
A Family Mystery.
 BY
CHARLES J. WILLS,

AUTHOR OF

IN THE LAND OF THE LION AND SUN, ETC.

IN THREE VOLUMES.
VOL. I.

WARD AND DOWNEY,

12, YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN, LONDON, W.C.
1888

[The right of translation is reserved and the Dramatic Copyright protected.]

PRINTED BY
KELLY AND CO., GATE STREET, LINCOLN'S INN FIELDS, W.C.;
AND MIDDLE MILL, KINGSTON-ON-THAMES.

THE PIT TOWN CORONET.

INSCRIBED
TO
EDMUND YATES, Esq.
 CONTENTS.
CHAP. PAGE
I. —In the Rose Garden 1
II. —The Croquet Party 26
III. —The Village Dorcas 45
IV. —Walls End Castle 67
V. —At the Pandemonium Club 96
VI. —Georgie's Wedding 118
VII. —Lord Mayor's Day 138
VIII. —At the Castle 161
IX. —Anastatia's Courtship 182
X. —Rome.—The Ballo Papayani 205
XI. —A Meeting in the good Old Style 229
XII. —The Villa Lambert 256

THE PIT TOWN CORONET.

 CHAPTER I.
IN THE ROSE GARDEN.
Big Reginald Haggard had been exceedingly attentive to the elder of
two very pretty girls of the name of Warrender. Both families came
from the eastern counties. The Warrenders had inhabited The
Warren, or at all events the older portion of the house, for nearly
four centuries. They were harmless people. They manfully stuck to
their ancestral acres of fat Essex land. The present head of the
family farmed the greater part of the estate himself, as his fathers
had done before him. Many a Warrender had held the rich living of
King's Warren, and the parson, whoever he might be, and the
reigning Squire Warrender were always the two greatest men in
King's Warren village and parish.
In the rather old-fashioned garden at The Warren sat a young lady,
an open book upon her lap; the book was not a novel, it was an
argumentative work, a book which dealt with the social problems of
the day. But, alas! the book which Georgina Warrender had brought
out with the serious intention of reading, for the Warrenders of
either sex, though always soft-hearted, were a hard-headed race, lay
upside down upon her lap. The fact is that she was weighing a man
in the balance, an interesting occupation for a lady, and, alas!
finding him a little wanting. Georgie Warrender had received a great
deal of attention during the London season. Her people were well-
to-do, the ancestral freeholds were unencumbered, her family was
eminently respectable and well known, her connections
unimpeachable; but Miss Warrender's principal attraction to those
who had the privilege of her acquaintance outside the world of balls,
dinner parties and musical evenings, was the sturdy open-
heartedness of her character, which often distinguishes well brought-
up young ladies who have been reared in an atmosphere at once
intelligent and healthy, but not ultra-intellectual. Miss Warrender had
no craze. She played and sang sufficiently well, but not well enough
to be a terror to the home circle. She drew and sketched, as a
pastime, but she had no desire to compete with professional artists,
nor was her conversation interlarded with the jargon of the craft.
Her reading had been carefully directed by her governess, Miss
Hood, who had remained to discharge the onerous duties of
chaperon, guide, philosopher, and, above all, friend to Georgie
Warrender and her cousin Lucy.
Lucy Warrender was Georgie's cousin on the father's side. Colonel
Warrender, as the younger brother, was naturally intended for the
family living of King's Warren. But fiery young George Warrender
declined the Church altogether, so he was sent to Hailybury, and
then he became a soldier of John Company, and was soon known as
Fighting George Warrender, and by dint of following his own bent
attained the colonelcy of a native regiment. Then he had a good
determined shake at the pagoda tree. And then he made a fool of
himself, for just as he had come down to Bombay, having made up
his mind to take two years' leave, he was smitten by the blonde
beauty of a newly-imported "spin," fresh from the boarding-school;
and being an impulsive man, Colonel George Warrender married the
little boarding-school miss, and changed his mind about his furlough.
Within a year his daughter Lucy was born. And then the cholera
came to Bebreabad, swept off Colonel Warrender and his pale-faced
child-wife; and the little Lucy, his orphan daughter, came home at
once in charge of an ayah in the Company's ship "Lord Clive." On her
arrival Squire Warrender pitied the little misery, as she was called by
everybody, and treated her as his own daughter. There was but two
years' difference between the girls, and they looked upon each other
as sisters. The squire's wife had died within a year of his daughter's
birth, so that practically neither of the cousins had ever known a
mother's care. Squire Warrender's wife had been a local beauty, and
her portrait, which hung in Mr. Warrender's study, represented a
loveliness of no common type.
Both the girls rode well, but neither was horsey nor doggy. One of
the greatest attractions in everybody's eyes about Georgie
Warrender was her openness; she never had a secret from Miss
Hood, her father, or her cousin. In fact, secrecy was foreign to her
nature. As to her appearance, she was a fine, well-developed,
thoroughly English girl, fully justifying the raptures and rhapsodies of
her numerous admirers. But it is not with her appearance that we
are at present concerned, but with the subject of her meditations.
That subject was a serious one, for in her pocket was a formal
proposal from Reginald Haggard, whom she had known as "Big
Reginald Haggard" from her childhood. It is probably an axiom that
every English girl, under ordinary circumstances, accepts her first
offer; the reason of this is not very manifest, but it is nevertheless a
fact, and its being a fact is doubtless one of the causes of the
numerous ill-assorted matches that constantly take place. But Miss
Warrender, now twenty years of age, had been an exception to the
rule. During her first and successful London season, now just over,
she had refused three serious offers. The first was from an
impecunious young barrister, who had attained some repute in the
literary world, and had very nearly killed himself in the process. Mr.
Baliol had admired Miss Warrender, had made careful inquiries as to
her father's position, had discovered that the two girls would
probably be the old man's heiresses, and had promptly proposed to
Georgie. He had been as promptly refused. Mr. Baliol was in no wise
disconcerted. He immediately proceeded to dedicate his new novel,
"A Woman's Fickle Heart," "to Miss G—— W——, in token of
respectful admiration." Baliol scored another success at the
circulating libraries, and at once ceased to trouble himself any more
about Miss G—— W——.
Georgina's second proposal was of a more serious nature. Young
Lord Spunyarn had made her an offer. Lord Spunyarn desired an
ornamental wife. To him the ideal Lady Spunyarn was a young
person respectably connected, good-tempered, and of prepossessing
appearance. Not one iota did Spunyarn care for money, birth or
brains; of money he had plenty and to spare: as to birth, was he not
Lord Spunyarn? as to brains, clever women were considered bores
by his lordship. The young nobleman liked Georgie Warrender, and
he liked her people. Though rejected, rather to his astonishment, it
made no difference in his friendship with the family. "It's an awful
bore, you know. Unluckily they all know it at the club—I mean that I
was going to make you an offer—and I heard that one of the society
journals had the announcement of our engagement already in type.
You see, I was to have dined here to-morrow. If you don't mind, I'll
come all the same." He did come, did full justice to the dinner, sat
next to Georgie, whom he took down, and the pair, thoroughly
heartwhole, had a great deal to say to each other.
Georgina's next experience was of a more comic character; her
conquest was no longer a nobleman, but a "noble." Jones di Monte-
Ferrato was a Maltese noble. He possessed certain rights of nobility
in the island, his income was derived from the sale of Maltese
oranges; in fact he was the titular head of Jones and Co., the well-
known fruit house of Thames Street. In Thames Street, Jones di
Monte-Ferrato said nothing about his nobility, he was "our Mr.
Jones." But on his visiting cards was a portentous crown, and Jones
di Monte-Ferrato habitually wore a coloured boutonnière in his frock
coat; being red, this decoration was popularly supposed to be the
Legion of Honour: it had been purchased however, and purchased
cheaply, from the Pope. Jones' nobility carried him far in Maida Vale
and Bayswater. Needless to tell, Miss Warrender would have nothing
to say to him.
To say that Georgie Warrender was perfectly heartwhole as she
unfolded Haggard's letter, is nothing but the truth. Of course she
liked young Haggard, but so did every one. Haggard had enjoyed an
extraordinary popularity. Related as he was to the Earl of Pit Town,
he was a welcome guest in the best houses. He had been a dancing
man, and could dance well, was exceedingly good-looking, and
consequently a catch at the small and earlies and also at more
elaborate entertainments. When a very young man he had been a
detrimental, having rapidly dissipated his little fortune. Penniless, he
went to America; in eight years he returned, well off, as good-
looking as ever, and with the possibility, the extremely unlikely
possibility, of one day succeeding to the earldom of Pit Town. There
are some men who always fall on their feet, some men for whom
fortune is never tired of turning up trumps; Haggard was one of
these men. When it is said that Haggard was a man of the world in
its broadest sense, nothing remains to tell. If he had a religion at all
it was the worship of his own dear self. Big Reginald remembered
Georgie Warrender as a chit of twelve; he met her again one of the
brightest ornaments of London society; he heard her spoken of there
as handsome Miss Warrender; and just as he would have longed for
a very valuable hunter to carry his sixteen stone to hounds, so he
desired to obtain Georgie's hand; because without doubt she was
the handsomest, healthiest, pleasantest and most unexceptionable
girl it had ever been his good fortune to come across.
The letter seemed honest enough, it was short and to the point.

"Dear Miss Warrender,

"You will probably not be surprised at my addressing you on a
subject important to us both. We have known each other since
the time when you were a little girl and I was a big bad boy. I
don't trouble you with business matters, but I have spoken to
Mr. Warrender and fully satisfied him on that head. It is with his
approbation that I ask you to become my wife. I know that the
very remote possibility of a coronet will not weigh with you, but
I do think you ought to let it count against my disadvantages.
You will get this at breakfast time. I shall ride over about eleven
to urge my suit in person; may I hope that your good nature
will spare me the negative I doubtless deserve, and that you will
give me a chance?
"Yours very affectionately,
"Reginald Haggard."
As Georgie replaced the letter in its envelope she blushed; had
Haggard been indifferent to her she would not have hung out this
signal of distress. It is impossible to follow the course of reasoning
of a woman's mind. Georgie Warrender was no raw girl to be caught
by the mere good looks of big Reginald. But first impressions go a
great way; she remembered the young fellow in the reckless daring
of his first youth; she remembered, too, her feeling of pity when she
heard of the prodigal's banishment to a far country to feed the
proverbial swine. Georgie remembered, too, the triumphant return of
that prodigal some six months ago. She had been pleased at the
prodigal's attentions, and she knew that many girls, of far greater
social pretensions than her own, would willingly have accepted the
addresses of the bronzed, curly-headed giant with the big
moustache. Perhaps she would have been wiser had she taken
counsel with Miss Hood, or had she deliberated more calmly. But
Georgie was a self-reliant girl. Even now she heard the measured
tread of her lover's hack as he trotted up to the hall door of The
Warren. She looked at her watch, it wanted five minutes of the hour.
Miss Warrender smiled at her lover's excessive punctuality; his
impatience boded well she thought.
Another instant and he is striding down the path of the rose garden;
a happy look is on his face, though it is slightly pale with suppressed
excitement. Georgie Warrender's pink roses attain a damask hue as
she rises to greet him.
Fortune, fickle goddess, still befriends her favourite. There was no
outward sign of hesitation or diffidence about Haggard, as he held
out his hand to Miss Warrender.
"It's very good of you to see me; I'm afraid I don't deserve it," he
said, seating himself beside her on the rustic bench, and, man-like,
commencing to bore holes in the gravel with the stout ash-plant
which he carried. Youth and maid decorously continued to gaze upon
the ground and to critically study their own foot coverings. Haggard
was a man who looked well in any dress, but the grey tweed suit
which he wore, the artistic bit of red of his loosely-tied sailor's knot,
his big grey felt hat, his leggings also of tweed, even his stout but
well-made lace-up boots seem to give the young giant the needful
halo of romance. This, the usual morning dress of a young English
gentleman in the country, is what is generally selected as the
costume of the hero of an Adelphi drama, when that wonderful
young man is discovered in his virtuous home prior to the
commencement of his numerous sufferings and hair-breadth
escapes. As for Georgie, the conventional French muslin set off her
faultless figure, a large Leghorn hat protected her delicate
complexion from the sun's rays, her magnificent hair was worn in
the rather severe Grecian style, but then the big plait at the back
was all her own, and the bronze chestnut locks, tightly strained as
they were around her head, disclosed the small shell-like ear, that
sign of breeding which it is impossible to counterfeit. Probably
Georgie Warrender had been right when, as a girl, she had declined
to have those pretty ears pierced. If we accept the hypothesis that
beauty unadorned is adorned the most, then Georgie in her native
loveliness was, indeed, highly decorated. But she was nervous in this
formal tête-à-tête; this showed itself in her heightened colour, which
was still maintained, and in the occasional movement of her
delicately fashioned little bronze shoes. As Sir John Suckling said
long ago:

"Her feet beneath her petticoat,

Like little mice peeped in and out,
As though they feared the light."

The quotation is somewhat hackneyed, perhaps; but it ran through

Reginald Haggard's mind, as he prodded his stick into the gravel.
"I'm afraid, Miss Warrender, that I have betrayed you into a tête-à-
tête. Your father wished me luck, and told me I should find you
here, while your cousin informed me that we should be quite
undisturbed. May I hope that you will give me a chance; that
possibly, after a time, I may not altogether be indifferent to you,
Georgie?" Again the rosy flush mantled on the girl's tell-tale cheek.
Haggard continued, "Of course you have seen, dear Georgie, that I
have been very hard hit this season, for a lazy ne'er-do-weel like
myself to dance attendance at every entertainment that Miss
Warrender graced with her presence, must have made the state of
my affections pretty manifest I suppose. We have known each other
a long time. I have never done anything mean or dirty that I know
of, Georgie. Of course I was a young fool, and kicked up my heels as
young fools do. But I think I have had all the nonsense knocked out
of me. My roving life in Mexico and my chase after the almighty
dollar have sobered me. Can you trust me, Georgie? I'll be good to
you, upon my word I will. Good to you and proud of you, if you'll
only give me the chance. You are too clever for me to attempt to
argue you into it. But, dear Georgie, I love you as I never loved any
woman breathing, and not with the mere passing fancy of a boy. I
have seen the world and a good deal of life, the gilded and the
seamy sides. Tell me, Georgie. May I hope? Will you give me a
chance?"
Georgie looked into his eyes and smiled. He had spoken it trippingly
on the tongue, though seemingly spontaneous, it had been well
thought out; for Haggard was an actor, a leading gentleman, well
experienced in lovers' rôles. It is not meant by this that Haggard was
what the old song calls a "star-breasted villain." But Georgie
Warrender was not by any means his first love. Haggard looked
upon Georgie as a valuable acquisition; from the physical point of
view she was the finest, freshest, fairest girl he had come across.
And he coveted her as an amateur covets a picture; that it may
belong to him, and that others may fruitlessly desire his pearl of
great price. True, no sordid consideration influenced Haggard. Can
we call this love? Let us be charitable and do so. But we will also be
just and qualify. It was love of the nineteenth century, of the society
type.
"You pay me a great compliment, Mr. Haggard, a very undeserved
compliment. I cannot pretend to be taken by surprise, for, as you
say, your attentions have been very marked. What am I to say to
you? With a girl it is a very serious matter; for once we give our
hearts, at least some of us, Mr. Haggard, we give them for good and
all. A mistake once made, in our case, cannot be set right. Our
affections once given away to a man, and perhaps afterwards flung
aside, then leave us with nothing to bestow but our miserable
selves. Are you quite sure you have made up your mind, and that
you won't want to change it?" she said, looking up archly in his face.
But his teeth were set, and the muscles of his massive jaw were
working hard, as he gazed intently on the gravel at his feet. It was
evidently no laughing matter with Haggard. The muscles of his jaw
had worked in a similar way only a week ago, when he stood on the
grand stand at Epsom, and saw the favourite, whom he had backed
heavily, almost "collared" on the post; but the favourite had won,
and Dark Despair had failed to land the odds of sixty to one laid
against him. So had the muscles of Reginald Haggard's jaw worked
when he had "bluffed" Don Emmanuel Garcia at the almost historical
game of poker, which they had played at Chihuahua. Haggard had
only held knave high, about as small a hand as a poker player can
hold; he had successfully "bluffed" the Mexican, and won. He is
bluffing now, for hearts are trumps at the game that is being played;
and we, who look over the cards of both hands, can see that big
Reginald's at least is a poor one. Will he win? Of course he will.
What chance has Georgie Warrender against so experienced a
player? The stakes were Haggard's before he had cut or shuffled the
cards.
"Sure, Georgie? of course I'm sure. I may hope, then? I may dare to
hope?"
Wise man as he was, he carried the place by a determined rush. He
took her hand in his, the taper little fingers were not withdrawn.
"Georgie, darling, how can I thank you? I am not good at this sort of
thing."
If he had not attained perfection in the art of love, it was certainly
not for want of practice; for if the truth be told, the big Lothario
habitually made love to every pretty woman he met; and if there
was no pretty woman, then to the least unprepossessing one of
those present. The rest of the conversation went on much as such
conversations usually do. Haggard swore eternal constancy. Georgie
confessed that she "supposed she did care for him." But this
modified sympathy did not satisfy Haggard; he pleaded for
something more explicit.
"I have always liked you, Mr. Haggard," she said, for Georgie could
not yet bring her self to address her lover by his Christian name;
"but I fear I must seem a very poor creature after all the dashing
South-American beauties, to say nothing of the many recognized
successes of the past season."
"But you were the success of the past season, Georgie. Everybody
knows it. Why, they raved about you. You must know very well that
Madame Hortense made a little fortune with the 'Warrender' hat."
"Ah, that was Lucy's idea, not mine, Mr. Haggard."
"A very charming idea, Georgie, but never so charming as when you
wore it."
Georgie Warrender rose and made him a low courtesy. "I see you
deal in sugared compliments," she said.
He got up and offered his arm.
The hideous and snobbish custom of taking a lady's arm had not
then been invented. And to do him justice, even if it had, Haggard
was too much of a gentleman to have attempted it. For customs
borrowed from the habits of the demi monde would have been sadly
out of place with a girl like Georgie Warrender. With her cousin it
might have been different; but with Georgie the thing would have
been impossible.
As the extent of his own good luck began to dawn upon Haggard, he
felt that the world had indeed gone very well with him; for as he had
marched down the walk of the old-fashioned rose garden that
morning, for the first time in his life he had felt diffident of success;
for the first time in his life he now vowed in his fickle mind to be
true to the smiling girl who, in the bright glamour of a first love,
hung so confidingly on his arm. Of course he vowed eternal
constancy. At lovers' perjuries they say Jove laughs, and well might
the whole Olympian chorus have joined in the loud guffaw with
which the king of all the gods doubtlessly greeted the protestations
of Fortune's favourite. As each drank deep draughts of the subtle
poison from the other's eyes, their glances grew brighter, and they
were only awakened from the dream that comes to us all, at least
once in our lifetimes, by the imperious clash of the luncheon-bell.
Old Mr. Warrender and Lucy appeared upon the lawn, and the broad
smile on her father's face and Lucy's merry laugh told the happy pair
that they might spare any explanation. Georgie, in the pride of her
honest love, disdained to take her hand from the young man's arm.
With womanly dignity she advanced to meet her delighted father. He
kissed her on the forehead, and then the blushing girl took refuge in
her cousin's affectionate embrace.
"Be good to her, my boy," said Squire Warrender, his honest voice a
little broken as he thought of the old days of his own too short-lived
happiness, and of the proud dead beauty, Georgie's mother. It was a
short speech, but it rang in Reginald Haggard's ears for many a year.
Will he be good to her? He should be. If not good to her, surely
Reginald Haggard will be less than a dog.
 CHAPTER II.
THE CROQUET PARTY.
Everybody agreed that the day had been a success. The lawn at The
Warren was an ideal croquet-lawn, large, level, and daisyless. It was
an old lawn, and was carefully watered. What better place, then, for
the local tournament to be fought out upon, than the old lawn at
The Warren.
At last the final game has been played. The day had been
excessively warm. Everybody was sitting in the shade discussing the
claret-cup, the syllabubs, the strawberries and cream, and the
home-made confectionery, that were so freely pressed upon the
large and rather miscellaneous assemblage which filled the old-
fashioned grounds of Diggory Warrender. The owner of this archaic
name we have met for an instant in the preceding chapter. He was a
hale old country gentleman, a J.P. for his county, and universally
liked. Perhaps there was more of the yeoman than the squire about
old Mr. Warrender. Though he farmed many acres, yet he did so at a
profit, strange to say. But perhaps this is hardly to be wondered at
when it is remembered that the acres were his own, and that
consequently there was no rent to pay.
Mr. Warrender, who rather scorned claret-cup, was about to discuss
the merits of a foaming tankard of home-brewed ale. The ale was
good; perhaps it tasted the better to old Warrender as he drank it
from the silver tankard of the time of Charles I., which bore the
name and arms of his ancestor, Diggory Warrender, armiger, of that
epoch.
"Won't you try some, Lord Spunyarn?" old Warrender said; "It has
made me the man I am," and certainly this statement was a flaming
testimonial to the merits of the Warren ale; for old Warrender, who
stood six feet in his socks, seemed to be all muscle, while his white
and perfect teeth, he being a man of sixty-five, proved that, at all
events as yet, physical decay had not set in, in the master of The
Warren.
But Lord Spunyarn shook his head as he signed to the butler to give
him what he termed a B. and S.
"Beer is too bulky for me, Warrender," said the spindle-shanked
nobleman, as he stretched out his shapely but rather shaky hand for
the panacea. "I object to bulk, Warrender, on principle; it is my
terror of becoming a welterweight that made me go in for athletics.
Why, look at my father, and they had to make a hole in the wall to
get my grandfather's coffin out of the house. No, Warrender, mind
and muscle are my strong points."
And so they were in Lord Spunyarn's own idea. Spunyarn was
perpetually in training. He was ever matched against somebody, or
against that very successful competitor, Father Time. But Spunyarn
was never "fit," to use a sporting term. Naturally of a weakly
constitution, his originally puny form had been carefully educated
and developed at the great public school where athletics, "tone,"
and Latin verse, are the only subjects seriously taught. Spunyarn
had failed to catch the "tone," Latin verse was a closed book to him,
but he stuck to athletics. The name of Lord Spunyarn was constantly
to be seen in the sporting prints, and though Spunyarn pluckily
struggled along, coming in last in the foot races, being knocked
about in the middle-weight boxing matches (knockings about which,
to his credit it must be said, he bore with the patience of a martyr),
yet, with all his sufferings, no single trophy as yet adorned Lord
Spunyarn's rooms in Jermyn Street.
To-day Spunyarn had been beaten in the croquet tournament, and
his partner had put down their united failure to the presence of Lord
Spunyarn, while Spunyarn himself when they were beaten simply
remarked, "Great mistake not taking the matutinal B. and S., you
know." This hardly consoled the smart young lawyer, his lordship's
partner, for his day's loss of time, his hotel bill, and his new and
elaborate morning kit; still, he had had the honour of playing with a
lord.
But metal more attractive soon compelled Spunyarn's attention, for
his eyes fell upon the two pretty Warrender girls as they tripped
towards the aged host, both hanging on the willing arms of the new
Essex lion, Reggie Haggard.
Big Reginald Haggard was the ideal of the country maiden. He was
not hideously beautiful, as it has become the fashion to depict the
heroes of modern romance. It may at once be said that Haggard
was undeniably good-looking. His long black moustache gave him, in
the eyes of the ladies assembled at The Warren, the necessary
romantic air. What is very much to the point in such matters was the
fact that he was also extremely well dressed. He had the military
neatness without the military swagger, and for the first time in his
life Haggard's well-cut clothes were paid for, to the unspeakable
pleasure and astonishment of his tailor. For Reginald Haggard, who
eight years ago had left the paternal mansion an expatriated black
sheep, had returned a man of comparative wealth. Turned loose a
mere boy in London, his money had been spent, as young men
about town usually spend their money. That young but very
fashionable club, the Pandemonium, that club which has an oyster
cellar in its basement, which keeps open all night, and at which
shilling cigars are de rigueur, had been the cause of most of young
Haggard's embarrassments. At the Pandemonium Haggard had
made the acquaintance of Captains Spotstroke and Pool, half-pay;
that acquaintance had naturally proved expensive. Bets were made
and paid. Haggard was introduced to the bill-discounting fraternity,
and had even lunched with the great Hyam Hyams; which fact
shows how deep he was in the books of that great connoisseur and
money-lender. As a rule Hyams's business lay only with members of
the aristocracy, but Reginald Haggard was accepted as a client
because he was distantly related to the Earl of Pit Town. Three lives,
three good lives, stood between Haggard and the childless earl.
There are such things as contingent post-obits. In these precarious
commodities the fortune of Mr. Hyam Hyams had been made, under
the astute advice of his solicitor, Mr. Morris Israels, of Bloomsbury
Square, and it was to these precious securities that his dealings with
young Haggard were confined. But at length Hyams would advance
no more. Haggard, at an alarming sacrifice, parted with his
jewellery, bid his family farewell, and quitted Essex for South
America. At the expiration of eight years Haggard returned as a
landed proprietor, the owner of numerous ranches, and of countless
flocks and herds. His liabilities in England consisted solely of his debt
to Hyam Hyams. This debt, however, was only payable in the rather
unlikely contingency of his succeeding to the earldom of Pit Town.
Also, much in opposition to the wishes of that respected solicitor, Mr.
Morris Israels, a power had been reserved to Reginald Haggard to
pay off both the principal and its interest at any time, in the
extremely unlikely event of his ever having the money to do so. Such
was Haggard's position when he became engaged, as has been
narrated, to Georgina, Squire Warrender's handsome daughter, at
the end of her first and triumphant London season. It has been
noted that among Georgie's numerous and most assiduous admirers
had been our friend Spunyarn. He had proposed to and been
rejected by Georgie, but they still remained sworn friends.
The two girls, the elder of whom was but twenty, her cousin being
two years younger, presented a striking contrast. Georgie was a
remarkably fine girl of the true English type. Three centuries of
Warrenders, a family which began as yeomen, but soon took its
place in the squirearchy of its county, had transmitted to Georgie
that healthy type, that sound physique and that clear complexion,
which is seen only in England; and even in England, only among
healthy rustics, or the women of those families of the upper class
who habitually pass the greater portion of the year out of London.
Not that Georgie Warrender was a mere rustic beauty, as her taper
hands and tiny feet showed. It takes a good foot to look well in a
walking shoe, and even in the trying walking shoe Georgie's foot was
unmistakably a good one. Her clear blue eyes were honest and
sympathetic; Georgie Warrender looked every one straight in the
face, she had evidently nothing to conceal, nothing to be ashamed
or afraid of. The two girls had been carefully educated, the "ologies"
having been wisely omitted. Georgie's magnificent chestnut bronze
hair was her great attraction. It is needless to say that a lock of it
was in Haggard's pocket-book, and that one of Haggard's raven curls
was worn in Georgie's locket. The engagement was an open one.
There was no self-consciousness about either of the parties. They
were both evidently proud of it.
Lucy was in many respects the exact opposite of her cousin. Lucy
was a blonde; pretty, rather in the American style. But unlike most
American beauties, far from being a mere skeleton in a skin, Lucy
was a plump, well-developed specimen of the dreamy blonde. In
type she much resembled the descriptions of Madame de
Pompadour in her youth, before she had seen and captivated the
great-grandson of the Grand Monarque. She was mignonne, no
other word will express it. Her strong points were her pink and white
complexion, her masses of wavy golden hair, her dark eyebrows and
her magnificent hazel eyes; those dark dreamy eyes in which lurked
latent fires. Young as she was, Lucy well knew how to use those
eyes, and the way in which she gazed into the face of her cousin's
betrothed seemed to detract nothing from his happiness. But in the
same way she gazed into Spunyarn's face, it was not mere looking, it
was "gazing." So she had gazed into the local general-practitioner's
eyes when that poor young man looked at her tongue for the first
time. It was Lucy Warrender's burning glance that had temporarily
made the village doctor a discontented man, and had caused him to
style his mid-day hashed mutton "muck."
In direct contrast, too, to her cousin's, was Lucy's mind. She was not
a girl who could be loved by other girls. Save when employed in
"gazing" she never looked any one straight in the face. The servants,
our stern and acute judges, said that "Miss Lucy wasn't to be
trusted, but that Miss Georgie was as good as gold." As usual, the
servants were right.
"Unsuccessful again, Lord Spunyarn," said Lucy, dropping him an
ironical courtesy, and making a provoking little moue.
"As usual, and I suppose my own fault, though my last serious
failure was certainly not my fault, but entirely due to you, Miss
Warrender."
"It was certainly not your lordship's misfortune," smiled the young
lady.
Haggard and his fiancée seemed to have a good deal to say to each
other, but probably like that of most engaged persons, their
conversation was merely childish.
And now the little crowd of players and spectators came to make
their adieux. For in the country people still retain the fashion of
bidding their hosts good-bye. Nay, more, they are in the habit of
even thanking them for their entertainment, and for the pleasure
they have received: whereas your fashionable, having had all there
is to have, and eaten and drank of what seemeth unto him good,
carefully rejecting the less recherché viands, simply disappears. He
was, and is not.
The Warrender girls were surrounded by a cluster of artless
maidens; these shook hands and kissed, after the manner of their
kind, and as they were more or less intimate with their hostesses.
"He is perfect, quite perfect," whispered the rector's romantic sister,
as she squeezed Georgie's hand, "but, oh, I do hope that you are
sure of his principles, Georgie, dear, for in marriage so much
depends, dear, upon principles." As Haggard's only principles were
his personal comfort, filliped by the gentle stimulus of frequent
flirtations, was Georgie quite right in replying, "Oh, dear Miss Dodd,
I am quite sure of his principles?" Gradually the miscellaneous
gathering took its departure. No man or male person left the
premises without one of Lucy's fatal œillades; each one of the
stronger sex, too, received a rather more than necessary pressure of
her soft and dimpled hand. Many among the elders, nay, the
patriarchs even, felt their pulses quicken at the unexpected pressure
and the sly bright glances; it made them feel, not as if they were
smitten with the good looks of Lucy Warrender, but as if she herself
had been captivated by the prepossessing appearance and manners
of each special victim. That was the art of it.
The dinner that evening at The Warren was a cheerful one; the
humours of the day were described with biting satire by the gentle
Lucy. She it was who had cruelly incited the stout vicar to
elephantine gambols, to the intense disgust and annoyance of his
angular wife. Who but Lucy could have caused the coldness between
young farmer Wurzel and his affianced bride, Miss Grains, the
brewer's daughter? Who but Lucy, as she sat on the shafts of the
horse-roller, listening with apparently rapt attention to the
lucubrations of young Wurzel on the subject of shorthorns. Perhaps
the clasped hands and the ecstatic look were hardly necessary, for
even so interesting a subject as stockbreeding. But Lucy had noted,
out of the corner of her watchful eye, the arrival of Miss Grains,
indignant and perspiring.
"You'll excuse him, Miss Warrender, it's more thoughtlessness than
want of manners; but he oughtn't to be taking up your time like
this," cried the brewer's daughter, as she bore off her reluctant prize.
To this day nothing will ever persuade the buxom mother of farmer
Wurzel's fine young family that her William was not actually
audacious enough to propose to Miss Lucy Warrender, and that his
attentions were favourably received. So often has poor William
Wurzel been twitted on this matter that he has come to look upon
himself as a very Lothario, rescued at the right moment.
In the drawing-room things went on much as they always do in
country drawing-rooms in the hot weather. The girls sang; Miss
Hood, their chaperon, played the inevitable Chopin; but (as, unlike
zoophites, chaperons cannot be cut in two pieces, and yet live) Miss
Hood felt it her duty to leave Lucy, and to follow into the verandah
Haggard and his fiancée. Perhaps, after all, this may have been
rather a relief to the lovers, for they had had a long innings that day,
no one having presumed to disturb the numerous têtes-à-tête of the
engaged couple.
Squire Warrender sat asleep in his chair, his face covered by a big
brown bandanna, so that actually Spunyarn and Lucy were
practically alone. But the young lord didn't attempt to renew his
attentions to Lucy. In his own mind Spunyarn perhaps felt that he
was well out of it. Lucy, a past-mistress in the art of flirtation, was
delicious as a friend; as a sweetheart there would have been two
sides to the question; but Lucy Warrender as a wife would have
been simply appalling and impossible. Lucy's bygone escapade with
her uncle's second footman—for failing high game, Lucy Warrender
was not above captivating even a second footman—had been
carefully hushed up. It was the cause of the poor young man's
receiving a month's wages on the spot and his dismissal. For Miss
Hood had detected him in passing a very pink-looking letter to Lucy
Warrender. Pinker far than the letter were the face and ears of the
guilty domestic, as he placed the intercepted missive in Miss Hood's
hands, on her sternly ordering him to do so. Of course the letter was
shown to Mr. Warrender; he was very angry under the
circumstances. But the letter of the unfortunate Joseph, though it
had caused him many agonies in its composition, was comic in the
extreme. It was full of what the writer called "pottery;" it was the
poor young fellow's first love letter. Alas, it was a mere answer to a
letter of Lucy's; she had commenced the correspondence; it was she
who had thrown the handkerchief.
Needless to say Lucy was deported at once, and Madame
Planchette's, née Jones, finishing establishment in the Champs
Elyseés received a fresh pupil. Lucy's minauderies could now only be
practised on her own sex. But even there the girl succeeded in
setting the whole house by the ears; and causing the sudden
dismissal of the Italian professor, a gifted Piedmontese, with a
gigantic head of black curly hair and long but dirty nails. At the end
of a year she returned to her uncle's roof, having achieved an
intimate acquaintance with French argot; her accent, however, was
undeniable. Miss Warrender, too, now added to her already
dangerous fascinations the charms of a French manner and a
Parisian accent. But her persistent secret studies of the works of
Flaubert, Zola and Co. probably had not improved her mind. As soon
as Miss Hood left the room, Lucy seized the opportunity, on finding
herself thus practically alone with Lord Spunyarn, to give him a
rather florid rendering of "C'est dans le nez que ça me chatouille," in
which she out-heroded Herod, and was even more piquante and
suggestive than Madame Chaumont herself. However, it did
Spunyarn at all events no harm, French being a sealed book to him.
The strains of the syren at last woke her uncle, and brought back
Miss Hood, who suggested that it was late. And the party broke up
at last at her instigation.
 CHAPTER III.
THE VILLAGE DORCAS.
The big room at King's Warren Parsonage was already fairly well
filled. Old Mrs. Wurzel and the buxom but not too well-favoured
heiress of the house of Grains were at the head of the table. Old
Mrs. Wurzel was a personage in her way; she it was who made the
annual contract with the local linen-draper; she it was who, as an
adept learned in the art, officiated at the awful ceremony of
"cutting-out"; she it was who, with infinite trouble, obtained for the
school children those antiquated straw bonnets of a forgotten type,
which were the despair of the juvenile village beauties. She herself
had worn them in her youth, and they were the proper bonnets for
"growing girls." But, alas! Nemesis had arrived; the head coverings
worn in country places thirty years ago had become once more the
fashion, and the little maids from school had been voted by
Spunyarn "quite smart people." It was Mrs. Wurzel who with her
own fair but energetic hands had, with her famous cutting-out
scissors, shorn away the luxuriant but obnoxious fringe which
Jemima Ann Blogg, the poacher's daughter, had appeared in at the
Confirmation. Jemima Ann had violently resisted, but her struggles
were in vain; in this case the sheep had not been dumb when in the
hands of the shearer: the daughter of the village Radical had
returned to her father's roof weeping, but shorn. It is true that old
Mrs. Wurzel had reluctantly paid to Blogg the sum of five pounds,
under the threat of a summons for assault, but the honest fellow
had honourably kept her secret as he had promised, and Mrs.
Wurzel's reputation, as the champion of virtue and respectability,
had in no way suffered, though she had paid her five pounds for it.
The vicar's wife, whose principal characteristics were her interest in
missionary work and the saliency of her angles, was a mere
priestess in the little circle of which old Mrs. Wurzel was the
permanent archdruidess. Vicars' wives had come and gone, but all
had submitted, some after a brief struggle, to old Mrs. Wurzel's
sway. But Mrs. Dodd, the present vicar's wife, retained the precious
prerogative of choosing the book to be read at the monthly Dorcas.
Mrs. Dodd's choice was invariably the biography of some missionary;
and she did her best to carry out the idea that a Dorcas meeting
should provide self-mortification for the ladies present, in the shape
of coarse work for the fingers and repellent reading for the mind.
The village Dorcas was that happy neutral ground where the various
ranks of society met on an equality. Here might be seen the three
good-looking and well-educated daughters of the local draper. Nice
girls these, but under the baleful shadow, the bitter blight of trade.
For country places are very conservative: the squire looks down on
the yeoman, the doctor and the lawyer, all three of whom consider
themselves considerably taller in social stature than the tenant
farmer, who in his turn will eat no bread and drink no water in the
houses of those Rechabites, the tradesmen. All these people,
however, join in despising the rich stockbroker who has recently
purchased the pretentious place which he calls "The Park;" the gates
of which are almost celestial, being of bright gilded iron work. The
unfortunate inhabitant of "The Park," notwithstanding his well-
appointed barouche and his men in livery, is but a pariah. For not a
year ago, till the big corner occurred in Mex. Rails in which he made
his pile, little Sleek, of Sleek and Dabbler, of Throgmorton Street,
had "been to business" every morning. Sleek now passes his time in
good works, he takes a great interest in local affairs, and, unless he
flings the whole matter up in a rage, he may yet become a justice of
the peace. Sleek finds it far harder work than fortune-making; but
he pursues his Will-o'-the-Wisp with untiring energy. So do we all. It
is for this, that Sleek contributes so liberally to the local charities. It
is for this, that the two Misses Sleek, clad in shining raiment of
needlework, are seated at the big table, pursuing the unromantic
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