T C

Color Illustrations
Prologue

Chapter 1: My Friend’s Little Sister Is Only Annoying Towards Me

Chapter 2: Only My Friend’s Little Sister’s Older Brother Is Kind To Me
Chapter 3: The Company President’s Accompaniment Is Only Cold
Towards Me
Chapter 4: Only the Boy’s Admired Teacher Is Sexy Towards Me
Chapter 5: My Friend’s Little Sister Is Only Breasts Towards Me

Chapter 6: I’m Only Annoying Towards Oji-san’s Daughter

Chapter 7: Only Iroha, Ozu, Sumire, and I Are Annoying Towards
Mashiro

Intermission: Mashiro’s Feelings

Chapter 8: Only My Friends and I Are Annoying Towards Mashiro

Intermission: Iroha’s Feelings

Chapter 9: My Friend’s Little Sister Is Annoying Towards Her Friend’s

Enemy
Epilogue

Part 1: The Company President’s Regular

Part 2: Mashiro’s Decision

Part 3: And, Towards Ups and Downs—

Afterword

Translator’s Notes
Credits
 P

The living creatures called ‘boys’ tend to tease girls who they hold affection
towards. I don’t know since when this ‘thesis’ turned into ‘truth’, but at least
for me, it seems like a total lie. I mean, it’s true, right? It makes total sense
for you to be disliked by someone if you keep teasing her. If you think about it
rationally, being kind and supportive towards her would make much more
sense—

—or at least that’s what the me from a public junior high school thinks. That
‘gap’ thing of teasing a girl you love as a way of approaching her? Are you
idiots? That’s the same logic that a violent husband would use. If there
actually were a girl who liked someone switching kindness and violence, you
should rather scold her and force her to open her eyes instead of dating her,
and I wouldn’t even want to get close to someone like that.

Let’s think about it from the reverse standpoint.

You’re wearing a normal t-shirt, and someone comes along, stuffs a raw egg
into it, and says the following:

“Soooorry~☆ I love you so much so I just had to tease you like this, you
know☆”

In addition, they’re wearing a small grin on their face while sticking out their
tongue. Now, that t-shirt was actually a rather expensive t-shirt you bought
not very long ago from a rather important concert of your favorite idol.

—Wouldn’t that make you want to slap them?

There’s another thing that I want you to think about.

Imagine that there’s a girl who washes your drenched t-shirt, lectures that
raw-egg bitch, and holds your crying face gently in her voluptuous chest until
you calm down.

—You would fall in love with her, right?

This might be only from a boy’s viewpoint, but there shouldn’t be any
differences for the other gender in this regard. You fall in love with the
people who are kind to you, and you hate the people who hurt you. It sounds
simple, yet it is a simple truth.

Because of that, I thought that other people around me — of course, including

girls — would strategically choose the kind way to win a person over, and
wouldn’t choose the unreasonable, teasing way.

Yes, I was certain that the kind of people who would hurt others, and the
aloof kind of people, would only exist in light novels and other media, and
that all girls in reality would show their beloved ones an easy-to-understand
smile. I thought that they would show their emotions and feelings clearly.

If you were to assume that this principle is correct, then that leads to a huge
problem…

Around me, there are only girls who hate me.

To all the people who are reading this, I’d like to give you a warning
beforehand. All the girls who will appear from here on out are indeed
beautiful and good-looking, but they’re all annoying, and have horrible
personalities. I might at some point in time make a mistake by thinking that
this or that girl is cute, but on a basic level, it’s about meeting them and
critiquing them harshly.

Well, of course, I won’t be saying that there won’t be any damage as a result.
But for those wild tigers who don’t care about that sort of thing, I want you to
keep reading. I too, just like that friend of mine, wanted to live a life like
those rom-com protagonists.

…Why is everyone so annoying towards me?

「—So, what do you think about my circumstances? As my friend, you

know.」

「I think you should go ahead and enjoy that popular life of yours.」
 C 1:
M F ’ L S I O
A T M

[ ♪ Hanamichi’s rebellion, our anuses, the one kicking you is the friend’s
little sister ♪ ]

When I came home from school and entered my bedroom, what immediately
entered my line of sight were thighs. A girl with whom I was very familiar
was lying on top of my bed, casually tapping her legs to the rhythm. She had
selfishly borrowed the newest release of a shounen manga from my
bookshelf, and she looked like she was in a good mood.

Her name is Kohinata Iroha. She’s a first-year student at the school I attend.
My Kouhai by one year. Bright golden yellow hair, bulky headphones around
her neck, and a fluffy, expanding hairstyle that makes you think of an emperor
penguin. As protection from the heat and humidity, she was wearing a short-
sleeved, in-season uniform with a short, refreshing skirt. She had taken off
her socks, and her pure white legs were so, so shiny. Though she’s a bit more
dolled up than the average high school student, she doesn’t wear any
excessive piercings and such, so you couldn’t exactly call her a gal either.
One thing is for certain, though: She’s a high school girl through and through.

[ ♪ The ass in a burst while prostrating, charmed by the visible panties!

Grandiose? ♪ ]
Surely if she showed a cheerful smile in the classroom, every single boy
would probably think something like—

—Ahh, this girl is surely in love with me… Something like that.

And this girl, who was capable of leading unfortunate boys to such a terrible
misunderstanding, was currently occupying my bed for some reason. Not to
mention… Not to mention: That.

[ ♪ Though the respectable virgin woman he wouldn’t mind, but only the little
sister he wouldn’t find— ]

“Shut up already! Why are you rapping like that!”

I yelled at her in frustration, and at the same time I cut the power supply to
the high-res component stereo. Now that the din in front of me had ceased
and it had gotten quiet, the girl finally noticed me and turned around.

“Ohh, it’s Senpai. Really~ If you’re going to come in, then at least knock.”

“It’s my room. And keep the volume down; it’s a bother. Why do you even
wear those if you don’t use them?” I asked the girl as I pointed at the
headphones around her neck.

When I did, the shape of her mouth loosened.

“Ah, you’re asking me that? You’re really asking me that? This is as if you’re
rushing down a route in an adult game, and it’s a really important reason, you
know? Wow, you’re trying that hard to capture my heart, I see~ I can’t help it
then, can I? You see, these headphones are—”

“No, I care less about that than picking up a 1-yen coin from the ground.”
“Ahaaaah☆! Here’s a guy who’s apathetic to the very core!!”

Tap, Iroha tapped me on the forehead while laughing.

—Shut it already…

While I focused all of my brainpower and energy on thinking about how I

could get her out of my room, Iroha casually attacked first.

“Still, Senpai, even though you should’ve expected me to arrive first, you
still haven’t learned how to knock, huh? What would you have done if I was
in the middle of changing? Aha! You were aiming for that, weren’t you?!
Police officer! This is him!!! Police officeeeeeeeeeer!”

“Yeah, let’s call the police, Ms. Intruder. Or should I call first?”

“Oh? You think you can win against me in the courtroom?”

Iroha let out an arrogant laugh and narrowed her eyes as she looked at the
phone in my hands.

—She’s always like this when she smells a competition.

The girl called Kohinata Iroha is a foreign substance that was somehow born
on this planet, and she’s never satisfied until she’s beaten me.

“In the first place, calling me an ‘intruder’ is taking it a bit too far~”

“……!”

She rolled back and forth on the bed in a sort of rhythm. In response,
something shook left and right. Three of her uniform’s buttons were
unbuttoned, which caused it to become very loose. Because of that, I was
able to see those overflowing fruits.

—Huge.
I was caught off guard by that surprise attack and had to avert my eyes. When
I did, Iroha let out a giggle, “Nyufu~”, and narrowed her eyes like a cat that
had just spotted a toy. She then took out the leather string that was around her
neck. She started playing with a silver key that was attached to this string.

It was a spare key for this house.

“It’s obvious who’s in the right here~”

“That still isn’t a free pass to just come and go whenever you want. And why
do you have that key in the first place?”

“I know that, once you force me out, you’re just going to roll around on the
bed and try to get a good sniff of my lingering scent, right? I know that!”

“Who would do that? There won’t even be 1% of your smell left, idiot.”

Psssssssss

“Kyaa?! Hey! I’m still here, you know?! Isn’t spraying that on me a pretty
horrible thing to do?!”

“Hmm? If you don’t want any more febreze sprayed on you, you’d better go
back to your room now.”

“Muuuu, y-you! Using a weapon is unfair!”

Iroha rolled off the bed and fell to the floor after I suddenly sprayed her with
a can of deodorizer. She puffed out her cheeks as she looked at me with eyes
still half-closed.
“Is this how you treat your little sister?!”

“You’re not my little sister in the slightest.”

“I’m the little sister of Senpai’s friend. That basically makes me your real,
blood-related little sister.”

“That makes you nothing more than a casual acquaintance at best.”

“…Ha! If Onii-chan and Senpai married, I’d become your official little
sister… But Iroha-san doesn’t actually care who’s on the receiving end of the
marriage, though!”

“H-Hey, calm down. Don’t go imagining anything weird. Especially

involving the people around you. Or you’ll seriously end up in the compost
bin.”

What she said had sent a shiver down my spine, so I entered lecturing mode.

—Sheesh, she’s always blurting out stuff like that in the spur of the moment.

Kohinata Iroha isn’t just my Kouhai. Just as she said, she’s also the little
sister of my friend. During my middle school years, I got pretty close to my
next-door neighbor, Kohinata Ozuma, and she came along with him as part of
the set. That spare key she was flaunting was actually one I had given to
Ozuma. Unlike Ozuma, who lives together with his parents and little sister, I
live alone. If I were to collapse, or if some sort of trouble happened, I might
end up dying if there were nobody to help. With that in mind, I had a spare
key made and gave it to my trusted friend in case of emergency.

“…Ughhh, to think that it would be misused like this…”

“Ahahaha, this is so fun~ You really are cute when I tease you.”

“It’s not fun for me at all, though…”

In the meantime, Iroha continued to use that proof of friendship as a

plaything. She pushed it into her breasts and took it out again, probably trying
to provoke me.

—This damn brat, someday I’ll make you tremble in fear.

Just when a vein on my forehead was about to pop out of anger…

Bzzzt Bzzzt Bzzzt Bzzzt

Something at my thigh vibrated. When I took out the smartphone, I checked

the name of the caller—

“…Hey, I have some urgent business. Can you please leave right now—”

“Okaaaaay, I’ll keep quiet~!”

“…Did you not understand what I just…?”

Even though I was a bit worried about her response, I pushed the button on
my phone, answering the person who was calling me.

“Ah, hello? Ooboshi here.”

「Hello there~ It’s been a while, Akiteru-kun~」

“Oji-san… No, President Tsukinomori.”

「Addressing me in such a formal manner makes me very sad, you know?
Oji-san’s gonna cry…」

He spoke in a dundee voice like the people in a bar on the outskirts. And he
also spoke with a young boy’s verbal expression, which didn’t fit his accent
at all. This was Tsukinomori Makoto: My father’s older brother and a
valuable connection. Since both of my parents were overseas, he acted as my
overseer here, so he sometimes called in to ask how I was doing. But lately,
it’s not just been that—

“…So I assumed that you called me because of that other thing…”

「Oh, ohh, on point. I did give it some consideration.」

“Really…!”

「After high school graduation, we can disregard your academic

background, and can offer you a place here at our company without a need
for the entrance exam — at least that’s what I would like to say, but you’re
making light of society with such a bold request.」

“Guh. W-Well, I was aware of it. So that’s a no, then?”

「I didn’t say that, did I?」

“Then…!”

「Then let’s add a condition with benefits. For my cute nephew, I would
even have the resolve to pull the skin off of my fingers. The person beneath
me who’s responsible for human affairs is a firm career woman, you see.
Once we can tease out her sexual desire hidden beneath that iron mask, it’ll
be easy.」

“Strip, but in that sense… no, that certainly wouldn’t be any good from
society’s standards. Especially recently.”

「Ha ha ha !」

“This isn’t something to laugh about, though…”

Though of course I’m thankful for it. There’d be no meaning behind it of the
person essential for it lost his seat as the company president. The owner of
this dandy-sounding voice, and the man who rocked a sexy beard as his
profile picture in this app that we’re using — Tsukinomori Makoto — is the
acting president of a major entertainment company called Honey Play Works.
It’s one of the largest industry leaders in Japan, and not to mention it holds a
competitive market share worldwide. As both my uncle and the company
president, he had offered me a certain backdoor. That was—

「But it seems that you’ve really grown up, since you’re trying to get a job
through your connections like this.」

“I just calculated the most efficient method. And this is probably the fastest
method, too.”

「But if you don’t manage to bring in something competitive, you won’t find
a place inside the company, you know?」

“I don’t care if you have to cut me off when you decide I’m no longer useful.
I won’t make you regret it.”
「Nicely said. I really like that, you know.」

After he let out a teasing giggle, President Tsukinomori continued.

「But it won’t be unconditional, of course.」

“…!”

So it’s here. Of course, I was suggesting a condition. I knew very well that I
wouldn’t be getting anywhere without that. Our society functions via
principles of equivalent exchange.

「Now, for the first question. Akiteru-kun, you don’t have a girlfriend, do
you?」

“…………………Excuse me?”

「What kind of response is that? Don’t tell me; you’re just a high school kid,
so you’re not doing anything that could cause an uproar, right?!」

“N-No, that’s definitely not the case! I don’t have any interest in girls!”

“……!”

Uh, oh. Iroha, who was still playing with the key, suddenly perked up when
she heard that.

She’s not thinking something like “This is the perfect chance to trouble
Senpai,” right?!

“………Nnn! Nnn…!”
Can you shut up while I’m in the middle of this call?! — I tried to tell her
via eye-contact. In response, though, Iroha’s spoke up.

“Fuhehehehe~ Seeeeenpaiiii~”

“Idi— Don’t hug me from behind like that. Let go of me.”

「…Is there somebody with you? Somehow I feel a despicable, couple-like

rosy atmosphere from your end of the call…」

“I just recently picked up a cat (Fast talking).”

「Ooooh, that’s nice. What breed?」

“Eh? Uhm…”

…Shit, I have no idea about different cat breeds. But there’s no doubt that
Oji-san knows his cats. He’ll see through my lie the moment I say it out loud.
And if I keep quiet, he’ll definitely find it suspicious.

…Should I tell him about Iroha? …No, that’s the one thing I can’t do. If an
outsider saw this situation where a girl is whispering those sweet sounds into
my ears, everybody would agree that she was probably my girlfriend. And no
matter how hard I would try to explain the situation, it’s pretty obvious that
Oji-san wouldn’t be satisfied with my explanation.

“Hey, Senpai. You would be in a lot of trouble if they found out that you were
with a girl, right?”

“…If you know that, then let go of me, idiot.”

When Iroha suddenly softly whispered that into my ear, I answered in a
similar manner. Maybe it’s because she was enjoying the thrill of the
situation, but her mouth turned into something like（Φ ω Φ）

and…

“This feels like cuckold play. It’s so exciting~”

“Where did you learn that term, you female high school student in active
service?”

“I looked it up in your search history.”

“So you looked at my smartphone without permission?!”

「Akiteru-kun…?」

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sorry, my cat suddenly jumped up and scratched

my smartphone! Hey you, stop it already!”

「It seems to be quite the wild cat you have there. Are you disciplining her
properly?」

“Yeah, I’ve been trying my hardest to discipline this gir— female cat!”

Oh man, that was close. I was barely able to stop myself from saying the
word ‘girl.’ Iroha was still pushing the soft feeling of both her breasts and
arms against my back. Coupled with the sweet aroma emanating from her, my
rational thinking was severely impaired.

“Fufu, I wonder who’s being disciplined right now.”

“…Ugh.”

“Senpai’s face when I’m teasing him like this is so cute~ It makes me feel
like a molester.”

“Not just ‘like.’ You’re actually acting like a molester now. Just quit it
already. My future depends on this phone call.”

「I seem to be hearing some other voice in the background. I even heard

words like ‘molester.’ Don’t tell me, you—」

“N-No, you’re wrong! It’s just… not molest… it’s a Norwegian forest cat
breed! The word you heard was ‘forest.’”

「Ohhh, I see. They’re a breed that plays a lot with their owner.」

“No, she’s just troublesome.”

「Ha ha ha, what a tsundere cat owner. Please treasure her.」

“W-Well, I’ll try to keep her in control. Haha… Hahahahahaha.”

「Hmm, I seem to have just been called to meeting. Anyway, I’m glad that
Akiteru-kun doesn’t have a girlfriend.」

Alright! —I did a victory pose.

It seems like I successfully deceived Oji-san in the end.

…Well, it’s not like the annoying girl still clinging to my back is actually my
girlfriend or anything.
「But it’s still too early to relax. You did meet the primary criteria, but the
real deal starts now. I’ll try to tell you the rest of it soon, so please wait a
few days.」

“Ah, yes. I’m sorry for bothering you when you’re so busy.”

「It’s all for my cute nephew and my daughter. Something as trivial as being
bothered is no big deal in the grand scheme of things.」

“I’m really thankful for tha— Wait, did you just add in some words that I
didn’t hear before?”

「Well then, see you!」

—Beep.

“…He cut the call.”

…Was it just my imagination, or did he use a particular word that he hadn’t

used earlier in the conversation…? Well, it’s not that important, I guess. If it
gets me going in the direction that I want to go, then it’s fine.

…No, not yet. I can’t rest just yet.

“Fu… Fufufufu~”

After the conversation with Oji-san ended, Iroha separated her body from
mine and returned to reading manga on my bed.

Yes, that’s the type of girl she is. What she did just now wasn’t anything like
affection, and neither was it any cute. She just thought that the sight of me
looking troubled would be funny. And because of her weird relationship with
me, being her brother’s friend, she likes to tease me even more. According to
my friend, Iroha’s older brother Ozuma…

“Doesn’t she only treat Aki like that?”

She comes and goes as she pleases with that spare key. And I’m the only
person she annoys like this, for some reason.

—Kohinata Iroha.

In order to receive the promised job from President Tsukinomori, I have to

keep a close eye on Iroha and prevent her from being a bother. It can’t go on
like this. I’ll have to sever our current relationship right now.

“Hey, Senpai. I’m a bit thirsty now.”

“We have some 100% calorie-free tomato juice in the refrigerator.”

“Yaaaay! You’re the master of being considerate! I love you!”

“……………”

In one fluid motion, she happily jumped up from the bed and left the room. I
let out a sigh in response.

—Well, that can wait until tomorrow, I guess.

Back then, I was too careless. I didn’t realize that Iroha’s mouth was forming
a grin as she ran downstairs.

「…And then that happened. What do you think?」

「Just what I’ve always thought. Aki really likes Iroha. After all, you
wouldn’t have prepared that tomato juice ahead of time if you didn’t.」

「That’s just the drink that I like. It’s just a coincidence that we both like
it.」

「And because you believe that, Aki, it really makes you look like a
‘Protagonist,’ you know.」

「What do you mean?」

「…I wonder. Saying it out loud would be bad thing to do in a rom-com, so

I’ll hold off on that.」

「What are you blabbering about? I’m begging you, please just keep her
contained at your home so that she won’t be a bother to me anymore.
Okay?」

「Yeah, yeah.」
 C 2:
O M F ’ L S ’ O
B I K T M

A human being’s lifespan is very short, with only about 876.000 hours. Just
by breathing, the countdown on your life expectancy moves forward. Even
so, all the high school students in the word spend their days in carefree bliss
—

—that’s what a single second-year student is thinking as he sits in the corner

of a noisy classroom. Of course, he had already organized his workbooks
from the prior class period, and his notes were brimming with information. It
was the outcome of using his time as efficiently as possible. When he looked
around the classroom, he saw playful male characters lowering their heads
and begging their friends for their notes, or bitches with their loose heads and
thighs who had given up and complained about it.

—Every single one of them has the actual nerve to do absolutely nothing.

All of them had wasted their precious self-study time, and had just realized
that it was too late. While those people were using their time right before
homeroom to copy notes from others, I was busy striving for an even higher
level of academic knowledge. Though it may be an obvious thing to do, it
gives you a great advantage in today’s competitive society. It might sound a
bit odd coming from me, but I, Ooboshi Akiteru, am the the most average
human you can find. Math, Japanese, English, social studies, cooking class,
gym class — in all of these different subjects, I average around 80 points.
Though there might be some who would consider this sufficient, this is what I
get after using the time given to me with utmost efficiency. This is the limit.
And the only reason that I cannot get a 100 and stand on top is because I lack
the gift, or at least that’s how I’ve always seen it. I don’t have any prominent
negative or lacking traits, but neither do I hold any kind of exceptional
talents. Of course, this same principle applies to my facial features, as well.
If you were asked what exactly a ‘normal person’ looks like, you could point
at my average-looking face, and ten out of ten people would agree.

And since I’m this kind of average human being, if I want to stand out even
one step ahead of other people, I can’t waste even a single minute. I’ve
devoted myself in order to ensure that my future is secure. And if I had to
name one thing that differentiates this ‘normal’ me from others—

“You dropped your eraser,” I said.

“Uwa?! That really scared me! You were here, Ooboshi?”

“What? I’ve been here this whole time.”

“S-Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by that…”

The normie boy in front of me, who had been frantically working on his
assignment, honestly apologized. Of course, he didn’t mean any ill by it.
Practically speaking, even though this guy is a normie, he’s not a rascal. On
the contrary, he’s actually rather nice, and he even talks to me despite us not
being friends at all. Even so, he didn’t notice me sitting here at all.

That perfectly demonstrates the problem I suffer from—

My weak presence.

Humans remember other people with symbols and notations. If you’re

wearing glasses, then you’re Glasses-kun; if you wear showy make-up, then
you’re a high school gal; if you have a blond mohawk, then you’re a yankee;
if you have grades that place you in the top tenth percentile, then you’re a
genius; if you’re funny to talk to and make good jokes, then you’re an
entertainer. Of course, that doesn’t just apply to good impressions. ‘Fatty,’
‘baldy,’ ‘slut,’ and so on are additional ways to classify people in order to
remember them more easily.

…However, I’m in the middle of all of that, with neither anything positive
nor anything negative that stands out.

I have zero individuality.

On top of that, nobody is terrifically aware of my presence, which only

weakens my already weak image. Of course, this isn’t caused by ignorance
or bullying. It’s just that there isn’t any topic that they want to bring up. If I
jump into a conversation, that’s good and all, but no conversation is started
by talking to me.

—Ahhh, what an efficient environment this is!

Without having to waste my time with pointless conversations, or maintaining

unnecessary relationships, I can devote my precious time to what is really
necessary.

There is nothing that could bring me more happiness!

Even though I say that, it’s not like I’m denying any sort of friendship. It’s just
that I choose for myself the people that are worth keeping up relationships
with.

Yes, that’s exactly what—

“Fuaaaah… Good work, Aki.”

“Oi, you look just as sluggish as ever, Ozu.”

“I’ve worked all the way until morning, you see… Here, look, my eyes.
There’s totally red, right?”

“As always, you’re in the all-nighter condition. Don’t worry, though, I’ve got
you covered with my notes.”

“Thanks… Really, all you need in life is friends…”

The boy staggered towards me while counting sheep in his head before
sitting down behind me. He was a pretty boy when he stood up, a genius
when he sat down, and a protagonist when he was walking. The identity that
should be drawn in the middle of the painting, and the person most befitting
of being the center of the story. That is Kohinata Ozuma. The person I’ve
been calling Ozu. The human whom I’ve decided to keep company with all of
my life, and my one and only friend.

“Next time, I’ll treat you to some anmitsu.[1] That one in front of the train
station… Aki, you like Japanese sweets, right?”

“Quite. Something like this isn’t a big deal though, so don’t bother.”

“No. I’m being such a terrible bother that I want to repay you.”
“……!”

Grin, Ozu grinned like the prince in a children’s fairy tale. Because of that,
the cold feeling inside of me was blown away by his transmitted heat, and I
felt my eyes getting hot.

“You… you really are a nice guy…” I earnestly muttered.

“You’re over-exaggerating.”

“I can’t help it. I feel this way from the bottom of my heart. I won’t lie about
my feelings.”

“Hahaha, so weird. But that human interest is so typical for you.”

“No, I don’t have that at all. It might sound weird coming from me, but I live
by calculating.”

“The moment said calculating takes us into consideration, I think it becomes

the embodiment of kindness.”

“Well, whatever.”

Since I didn’t really want to continue the conversation, I dropped the topic.
When I did, Ozu might’ve realized what I wanted to do and followed suit.

“Well, there’s plenty of reasons for me to pay you back because of my little
sister being a bother again. She went to your place the other day, right?”

“Ahhhh, yeah she did.”

“No matter how often I change the place I hide that key, she still manages to
find it… Really, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s not it’s your fault, Ozu.”

Kohinata Ozuma and Kohinata Iroha. The fact that both of them are connected
by blood is something I still cannot understand. Ozu is a considerate human
being. He can read the atmosphere, and he can feel genuine sympathy for the
people around him. Not to mention that he feels responsible for his little
sister’s misconduct, and even goes so far as to make it up to me. To me he
unquestionably looks like a saint.

But that annoying girl is the exact opposite. To this day, I still wonder what
kind of nonsense the gods pulled when they were creating her character up in
heaven.

“I think that it’s because Iroha likes Aki, though.”

“Excuse me?”

“Woah, that face makes it look like you absolutely hate the idea.”

“Of course. That’s pretty harsh for a joke.”

“Hmm, you’re saying that about a relative of mine? Even though I agree she’s
not perfect.”

“I can’t help it, can I? I think so, and I won’t lie about my feelings.”

“Even though that’s the same phrase you just used before, I don’t feel any
kindness from you at all…”
“I mean, her having feelings for me is just impossible. She’s just having fun
and annoying the life out of me.”

“What if’s just reverse affection—?”

“And there it is. That urban legend. No, that’s complete nonsense. If she
really liked me, she’d cut the annoying stuff and use an easy-to-understand
approach. That’s just obvious. There’s gotta be limits to how unreasonable
you can be. She’s going far enough to risk being hated by me.”

“…I don’t think that a girl’s heart can be explained by logic…”

“Everyone’s thinking about it too much. And also, being actually liked by a
girl is just as much of an urban legend.”

Really, I’m not expecting a bittersweet spring of love like the kind you see in
mangas and anime. Rather than being liked, all the encounters I’ve had so far
in my life have boiled down to being hated by the girl. Not one of them
showed me a single fragment of affection. That’s why I gave up.

“It’s not like there’s any reason for girls to fall in love with someone as
boring as me, anyway.”

“I do think that Aki is pretty popular, though~”

“That doesn’t sound like anything other than sarcasm if it’s a pretty boy like
you saying that.”

“See, you’re kind.”

“There you go again. I’m the ‘good guy.’ That’s the type of guy who can’t
become anyone’s number one.”
“…You’re quite hard to please, I see. Why is it that you get so stubborn when
we talk about relationships…?” Ozu sighed and showed a troubled
expression.

Really, forcing himself to say that I’m kind like that. He really is a great guy.
He’s blessed with an attractive face and figure, resourcefulness, and good
personality. Ozu was surely a man who will make it far in the future.
Imagining the day when the world finally admits his talent makes me feel
excited. I really have to treasure this friendship.

—Well, receiving his little sister as part of the set is unfortunate, but I can’t
do much about that.

While I was busy thinking that,

Rattle!!!

“……………!!!”

As soon as the door to the classroom opened, the atmosphere inside the
classroom changed immediately. Both the people who had been desperately
trying to copy notes and the people who had been talking loudly all shut up.

The sound of heels tapping on the floor echoed through the room, and facing
the students now was a young-looking woman. Her hair was bound together.
She had sharp, intellectual eyes. She had a slender body and voluptuous
breasts that even some models would be jealous of, and she was wearing a
crisp, tight suit. She truly was a woman who perfectly matched the term
‘beautiful teacher.’ She looked around the class, where the were students
who were still freely doing whatever they wanted, or standing around, and
said the following words while glaring at them.
“The bell should have already rung, right? All the pigs that can’t be on time
can pack their things and disappear.”

“………”

“Take your seats already. Or do you prefer a punishment?”

Bang! She stabbed her heel into the floor in front of the blackboard. In
response, all the students went pale. With awkward movements, they all
returned to their seats.

—Though there were also some people whose faces had turned red, who
were letting out heavy “Haaah… Haaah…” breathing, I think we’re better off
setting that aside for now.

“You pigs born in the form of humans. Keeping society’s rules is one of the
first things you learn. You! When are you going to become human?”

She spat out abusive language that you wouldn’t expect from an educator like
her. Since corporal punishment and harassment have been prohibited for
teachers, seeing one spitting this much poison was rather a rare occurrence.
Our class’ homeroom and math teacher: Kageishi Sumire. An attractive face
and figure and a keen and sharp mind. It made sense that everyone in the
class was overjoyed when we first got her as the homeroom teacher for the
year, but that quickly changed. Now it’s only the small group of masochists
who enjoy that attitude of hers.

“The poisonous woman” is a title that befits her poisonous tongue, her strict
disciplining methods, and her gaze full of killing intent. All of these put
together firmly sets her as ruler over any students that still feel like horsing
around.
“Now then, we’ll start homeroom.”
Following the queen’s command, morning homeroom started. While resting
her head on her hand, elbow on the table, she had the nerve to make a bossy
face. How relaxed this phone-in teacher must be, to be able to overpower all
the idiots here with just these few words…

…I grumbled while I focused my attention towards the classroom’s queen.

After classes, as per usual, nothing out of the ordinary happened, and my
boring school life for the day ended.

“Alright, let’s go ho—”

—me, is what I started to say to Ozu, but I got interrupted.

“H-Hey, d-d-do you have a minute?”

“Eh?”

I was suddenly spoken to by a classmate, and I unconsciously let out a weird

voice.

Somebody besides Ozu has business with me? And who even is this guy? I
remember that he sits near the hallway, but I remember either his name or his
face. Was his name Suzuki?

I was rather taken aback because this never happened, and he also seemed
perplexed.

“O-O-O-O-O-O-Ooboshi. Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-You h-have a g-g-g-guest.”

“Why are you vibrating like that?”

“S-S-S-S-S-Shut it! I-I-I mean, t-that girl who came walking f-f-f-from the
hallway, is that absurdly cute first year, you know?!”

“…Ahhhh.”

I had guessed as much. There can only be one person who would induce such
a reaction.

“S-She looks so stylish even without any makeup. On top of it all, she’s
polite towards everyone, is good in the head, and is something of a honor
student, right? That gap is really bad. What kind of good deeds did you do in
your previous life for such a girl to come see you?!”

“No, it’s probably because I was a completely horrible person in my

previous life.”

Letting out a sigh as I passed Suzuki (probably), I made my way towards the
hallway. When I did—

“Hello, Ooboshi-senpai~”

I was greeted by a greeting Kohinata Iroha. Well, it’s not like there would be
any other girl who would have business with me. But why did she come here
so suddenly?

“……………………Why are you here?”

“Is it that weird for me to be here?” Iroha slightly tilted her head, feigning
ignorance.
Seeing her unusual neat and tidy attitude filled me to the brim with a sense of
discomfort. It was like she was actually a polite honor student. Well, though I
had trouble believing it, she actually seemed to be like this at school. But I
won’t be quiet since I know about the other side of her.

“It’s weird, you know. Calling for Ozu is one thing, but why me?”

“It’s because I have business with Senpai and not Onii-chan, of course.”

“Your way of talking and intonation make me feel nauseous. Return to your
usual self already.”

“Eh, whatever are you talking about?” Iroha looked at me with the eyes of a
newborn chicken, playing dumb.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing as always, isn’t she? Instead of screaming around

and asking for whatever she sees, she uses polite language, and because of
that, none of the people glancing at us from inside the classroom knew
Iroha’s true identity. To be specific, the girls looked like they couldn’t
believe their eyes, while the boys’ glares were full of envy.

“…What business? Do you want to go home together or something?”

“Correct~!” An instant reply and a bright grin.

I’m glad that she’s shorter than me. Because of that, my body should block
that smile of hers from the other people in the classroom. If they saw it, I’m
sure that I wouldn’t hear the end of it. What kind of relationship do we have?
Did we already do it? I’d surely be the victim of an obsessive investigation.
Even if I were to respond with ‘Will you shut up already! Or are you sexually
unsatisfied, you idiot?!’, or if I feigned ignorance with ‘I-Its nothing’, the
result wouldn’t change the slightest. It would totally ruin my perfect
environment I currently had.

“Haah… I’ll go grab my things and call for Ozu, so wait a second.”

Continuing to talk like this in front of the classroom would be dangerous. You
never know what kind of misunderstandings would occur. Deciding on that, I
was about to return to the classroom…

“Ah, you don’t have to call for Onii-chan.”

“Huh? Why?”

Our route home is the same. Ozu and I are in the same class, and are friends,
and Iroha is Ozu’s little sister. No matter how I think about it, going home
together would be more efficient…

While I was busy thinking that, Iroha impatiently moved forward. Her cheeks
were colored like leaves in the fall, and with a thin voice like a maiden in
love from the Showa period…

“Really, don’t make me say it in a place filled with so many people. I want to
go home together with Senpai, just the two of us.”

“—S-Stop that tone of voice! You have no intentions like that at all, and
you’re just toying with me, right?!”

“Eh.”

I responded to her with a cold voice and took a step back. When I did,
Iroha’s face distorted into one of shock.
“That’s… Sniff sniff… so cruel. Even though we’re going out!!!”

And she let out this ridiculous statement in a loud voice.

“Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?!”

“Even though you adamantly confessed your love to me yesterday! You’re so

cruel! Were you only using me as your plaything?!”

“There’s a difference between going out and jabbing at each other!”

“T-Touching and jabbing each other… don’t say that so loudly… it’s
embarrassing.”

“Why are you turning red?! They’ll totally get the wrong idea! I meant
jabbing as in poking fun at each other!”

Iroha’s dramatic statement had clearly reached the farthest corners of the
classroom. I could feel the gazes of curious students at my back, and it sent
shivers down my spine. Apparently hearing the ruckus, even Ozu came to
check on the situation—

“What’s wrong, Aki? …Wait, Iroha?”

“Ah, Onii-chan. Good work today,” Iroha bowed down her head with a smile
that befit an honor student.

Though Ozu knew Iroha’s real personality, she didn’t give him any chance to
respond to that before she continued.

“Actually, Aki-senpai and I are going out.”

“Eh… uhm…?”

“Ahhhhhh, I don’t get it! Hey Iroha, come with me for a sec!” I grabbed
Iroha’s arm and started pulling her away.

“Kyan~!”

At this rate, I won’t be able to get the situation under control. For now, I
decided to escape from his place. I pulled her down the hallway, to an empty
stair landing.

“What are you suddenly blurting out in front of everyone?! Is this a new form
of fraud?! Huh?!”

“Ehhh, it’s not fraud at all. I mean, it’s almost like we’re dating, right?”

“I don’t care about that! What’s your aim with this?”

“Ahaha. My likability in the eyes of Senpai really is low! I’m not trusted at
all~!”

Once we were hidden from other people, Iroha returned to her usual lax self.
She held her belly in her hands and had a good laugh at my expense before
she took a few deep breaths and continued.

“Senpai, you said that you would get in trouble if you got a girlfriend. So
that’s why I decided to become your girlfriend!”

“Your line of thought is way too crazy…”

“Ehhh, I don’t think that behavioral principle isn’t that difficult to understand,
though?”
“Haaah… just do what you want. Nobody will believe you, anyway.”

I won’t keep playing with you— I thought as I sighed.

And, while playing with her hair, she said “Is that so? I think that this setup is
quite credible, though.”

“In what world? Though it might be a bit annoying, you have good looks.
Your ability to match up with me is rather lacking, you know?”

“Well, it’s true that the super-mega-beautiful me and the super-mega-boring

Senpai wouldn’t be a good fit.”

“…Hey.”

Can’t you put it a bit nicer? Though it is the truth.

“Truth be told, if Senpai were to spread the news, you would only be called
the ‘King of Fantasies’, so that’s why I will be the one to tell everyone.”

“There’s that much of a difference in credibility, huh?”

“Exaaactly~ If I were the one to say it, I’m sure that everyone would believe
me~”

“…Just stop this already…”

I lifted up my head towards the sky.

“My future is depending on this. Please don’t make it more difficult for me.”

For my dream, my goal, President Tsukinomori’s assistance is essential.

Now that I’ve taken one step closer to my dream, is she really going to ruin it
all like this?

With these feelings, I turned around and started to walk away. After clearly
telling her that I wouldn’t let her do as she pleases, I intended to leave that
place. When I did—

“…You’re way too insensitive, Senpai. Why won’t you realize it?”

Pompf, I felt something hitting my back.

Warm breathing tickled my ears. Even through her uniform, the softness and
heat of her breasts were directly transmitted to me. I could feel a steady
rhythm. Thump thump. Was this Iroha’s pulse I felt?

—H-Hey, what kind of atmosphere is this?

“As if I would do something like this to a person I hate. I’m just teasing you a
bit…”

“W-What are you planning on doing? I don’t believe you if suddenly let out
such a charming voice, okay? I-I won’t believe you.”

“…I wanted Senpai to look at me.”

“Guh…”

“I know that Senpai is honestly thinking about his future. But if you only look
far off into the distance, you won’t see what’s happening in front of you. Of
course I would get lonely, you know?”

“Iroha…”
“I don’t want you to go away. I want us to be close like this, forever. I want
this relationship between us to stay like this for all eternity. That’s why…
That’s why, I—”

It sounded like she was opening her heart, and transmitting her feelings
through the pain. Iroha’s voice cut deep into my soul, echoing endlessly.

What’s up with her? Why does she have the nerve to say that now…? What…
What should I do…?

“—Just kidding!! Did you get your hopes up? You fell for it, didn’t you?!”

“…………”

“Ahahaha, I wanted to try this thing once at least, this confession scene!
Seeing Senpai’s heart skip a beat even though he never looks at me as a girl
was soooo cute! Hey, how was it?!”

“………”

“Ah, you’re so embarrassed that you can’t find the words? Really~ even your
ears are red. Senpai, you’re so c-u-t-e, you know~?”

She was still hugging me from behind, and she was overflowing with energy
as she sunk her fists into my solar plexus. And just like she said, my face was
probably so red that it looked like I was boiling.

—ONLY FROM ANGER AT THIS ANNOYING BITCH, THOUGH!!!

“I’m never ever gonna believe a single word you spew again—!!!”

“Wheeeeeeeeew! Time—to—run—awaaaaaaaaay~!”
After around 30 minutes of us playing tag inside the school building, my
stamina gave out.

…Shit. The next time I see you, I’ll strangle you for sure.

「Really, what is this girl planning? She’s even attacking me when I’m in my
classroom…」

「You seem to have piqued her interest, haven’t you?」

「Did your eyesight go to shit?」

「I could say the same about Aki. Going out of your way to walk to another
classroom on a different floor isn’t something that someone would normally
do, you know. Except if it was for a very special boy, of course.」

「Yeah, I probably am special. Special because she hates me.」

「What if her feelings grew twisted because she couldn’t accept them? There
could be a lot of reasons for her actions.」

「Shut it. If she’d stop poking fun at me and just honestly confessed, I would
believe her.」

「…Well, it doesn’t matter, I guess. I’m perfectly fine if the two of you keep
doing what you’re doing.」
 C 3:
T C P ’ A
I O C T M

Later that evening, around 8pm. With smartphone in hand, I left my home. My
home was a 5-storey mansion, which was about 20 minutes from the train
station by foot. Now that it was late evening, there were fewer silhouettes of
people on the street, and the atmosphere started feeling creepy, so I quickly
made my way towards a family restaurant near my house. This, however,
wasn’t in order to get my dinner for the day. I had been called over by Oji-
san — President Tsukinomori — and the reason was of course to discuss the
possible job. Apparently he wanted to give me the details of this ‘condition’
that he didn’t have the time to explain previously. I had arranged my
appearance meticulously with a neat hairstyle and uniform, and was ready to
greet him. I didn’t know what kind of condition we were about to discuss, but
I was ready to kneel down and lick his shoes if needed.

If his offer functioned as an express ticket into the world of big business, a
bit of groveling now would be a small price to pay. Self-aware of the fact
that I didn’t have a single shred of pride left inside me, I entered the 24/7
restaurant “Royal Guest.” It had rather high prices for a family restaurant,
and it was definitely a place that a bachelor like me would never enter by
himself. However, today it was President Tsukinomori’s treat, and he had
decided on the place.
I feel really bad being treated to a meal here, but it’s his decision, so that’s
the end of that. I just have to be thankful for it.

—If I were to be honest though, being treated to dinner like this makes me
super happy!

Well, it’s two birds with one stone, I guess.

“Heeey, Akiteru-kun. Over here.”

When I stepped inside, I didn’t even have to ask the waitress about Oji-san.
Our eyes met instantly.

“I see that you got here before me. I’m sorry for being late.”

“Ohh, there’s no reason to mind that. In times like these, the superiors should
be the ones who act maturely,” said the buddha while running his fingers
through his mustache.

Though these sorts of gestures would indicate that he was nouveau riche, that
couldn’t be further from the truth. He was the perfect model of a company
president, blended together with everything that would make a good manager.
In modern business, where superiors boss their subordinates around the
instant they attain power, his strength of character has to be rather rare.

…Well, I’m not an official member of working society, so I wouldn’t know.

I’ve read that it’s like that in those complaint columns on social networking
sites, so it must be true.

“Then please pardon me.”

“You don’t have to be so formal, you know. If you keep that much tension in
your shoulders and elbows, they’ll be stiff in 10 years’ time. The only place
men are allowed to get that stiff is in that meat scepter on our lower half, ha
ha ha!”

“………”

While President Tsukinomori laughed at his grade-school-level joke, I had to

hold myself back from responding. Maybe it was because I was sitting there
and not talking at all, but President coughed once and got back on track.

“Ahhh, well, there’s actually someone else who should be having dinner with
us, but they aren’t here yet. In the meantime, I’ll finish explaining the
situation.”

“Yes,” I straightened my back.

…Just what kind of unreasonable demand will he make of me?

“Firstly, I took the freedom to play that game you sent in.”

While he said that, President Tsukinomori took out a smartphone and put it
down on the table. Shown on the screen was the title screen of a game,
complete with a western-styled house, anime-like characters with terrified
faces, monsters, and some special effects to complete the atmosphere.

The title of the game was “The screaming night of dark Koyama,” all of the
rights to this game belonged to “5th floor alliance.” It was a free-to-play
horror game with lots of beautiful girls.
“I was really surprised. I didn’t think that you would be able to release a
game like this on your own,” he said.

“It wasn’t just me. All of the team members helped out.”

“The programmer OZ, the illustrator Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, the scenario

writer Makigai Namako, an unknown voice actress, and the producer and
director Aki… that is, you,” Oji-san said, listing off the cast.

“Yes, every single member was essential, and we wouldn’t have been able to
complete the game if any of them were missing.”

That’s right. This game was created by me, and these few comrades of mine.
Nobody in the classroom knew about this. It was a secret that only we
shared.

“Hmmm. This work became a big hit in the industry, you see. The mysterious
group called “5th floor alliance.” This work has a scenario that perfectly
matches the gameplay, charming character design that would put even a pro
to shame, a voice actress with unknown background — and without any large
funds or publicity, you managed to get around 1 million downloads just by
word-of-mouth advertising.”

“We’ve only just started, though. Not to mention that the main project of Oji-
san’s company has 10 million downloads in total.”

“That’s only because we had such a huge amount of capital behind it that we
could actually advertise it, you know,” President Tsukinomori grinned as he
softly stroked the back of his head. “You’ve managed to acquire quite a bit of
competitive power with less people, money, and time. I wonder if I
would’ve been able to do that back in my student days… I also played the
game, and it was worthy of its popularity.”

“…Then…!”

“But this is a completely different story.”

As I started getting hasty, it felt like he cut right through me.

“I understand your spirit very well. I fully understand your desire to be taken
under the wing of my ‘Honey Play.’”

“However,” he continued.

“The world of grown-ups isn’t that easy. If you want to receive special
treatment from me, I’ll need you to pay adequate compensation — Oh, oops.
We’ve made the employee wait.”

“Ahh, that’s right. Umm…Here are your menus.”

The waitress had been very politely watching our table for a while now,
waiting for us to make our orders. It even looked like the number of people in
the restaurant had grown, so it probably would’ve been pretty weird if we
didn’t order soon. I picked up the menu. I thought that I would just order
something to drink for now, but…

“It’s already past dinnertime, right? Don’t hold back, will you? Just order
whatever you want.”

“…Then I’ll take you up on that.”

Just as I had planned for from the beginning, I let myself get treated.
“I’m sorry, Ms. Employee.”

“Yes.”

“One italian hamburger set. And also—”

“I’ll take the carbonara with half-boiled eggs.”

“Then that will do it for us. And the drink bar for two… no, for three,
please.”

“Three? …Ah.”

Though the waitress hesitated for a moment, Oji-san had probably already
given them the number of people when he reserved our table, so she seemed
satisfied with that. After we finished placing our orders, the girl was about to
walk away, but Oji-san suddenly stopped her.

“You. You have quite the beautiful fingers.”

“Eh?”

“Haah?”

…What is this person saying all of a sudden?

“Your fingers were moving so beautifully just now that I was a bit
entranced.”

“O-Okay…”

“How about we talk after this? It might have been because I knew that I
would meet you, but I kept my passenger’s seat open.”
“…!!! I-I’m currently in the middle of my job! Please excuse me!”

The waitress’ face turned bright red, and she hurriedly ran away to the back
to hide.

And I can totally see why. He was clearly trying to pick her up, and in a very
suspicious way. If he were just the company president and I were just a
lowly employee, I might have decided to overlook this. But I can’t stay silent
when a blood relative conducts this kind of obvious sexual harassment right
in front of me.

“Oji-san, that was a bit too extreme.”

“Why is that? I just told her what I thought. That’s a polite thing to do
towards women, don’t you think?”

“You’re not an Italian…”

“The things I think are good are good, and if I want to make advances, then
I’ll do it. That’s just a friendly tip for how to enjoy your life.”

“Well, that might be true, but still…”

“Your affection won’t be transmitted to the other person if you don’t say it
out loud. Confessing your feelings like a tsundere only works in anime.”

“……!”

I wholeheartedly agreed with those words. Though I don’t feel like making
advances on a waitress I’ve never seen before, this opinion of his was
something I always held dear.
This really is the truth of the world!

“And also, it doesn’t look like she hated it… Look.”

When I followed his gaze, I saw the waitress taking deep breaths, holding her
cheek with one hand and fanning herself with her other. When her eyes met
Oji-san’s, she seemed even more excited, and when he waved at her, she
showed him a bright smile and bowed down—

What’s up with that? What’s with that unreadable reaction?

“It doesn’t look like she hated it, but… she’s doesn’t really make it very
clear.”

“A woman’s heart is a complex thing, after all. Though she might’ve been
troubled by my sudden advance, this is the proof that she understood that
there wasn’t any ill will behind it. From this initial reaction, about two out of
three tries it turns into a Bed IN… I guess.”

“Seriously… Just what I would expect… or something like that.”

Though it had slipped my mind for a second, Oji-san was quite the player.
When I was younger, I didn’t really understand his stories all that well, but I
heard that there were quite a lot of disputes over at the Tsukinomori
household. Thinking about it some more, the constant affairs and cat-calling
on the part of the husband must’ve been at least 80%, or at worst 100% of the
reason for their fighting.

—This old man really is something. Well, for me to come here, prepared to
bow down to him, I might be an even bigger bastard.
…Oops, I have to be careful here. I have to return my mind to business mode.
If I make a grave mistake here, our promise might as well be moot.

“Can I go to the toilet for a moment?”

“Ahh, of course. Knock yourself out.”

“Then, if you would excuse me…”

Let’s get off the seat and clear my thoughts. And let’s also do some self-
induced hypnosis in order to make sure that I never remember that perverted
old man hitting on a waitress.

“I’m a company president’s dog. I’m a company president’s dog. I’m a

company president’s—”

As I walked down the hall towards the toilet, I kept repeating that to myself
so that I could enter my business mode again.

—Of course, that ended in failure.

Not to mention that while I was trying to ban these thoughts of my head, I
completely overlooked the sign that read “Mixed Toilettes,” and also
overlooked the sicker that read “Warning! The lock is broken! Please make
sure to knock several times before opening the door!.”

“………………Fue?”

“………………………………Ah.”

Time froze.
The nonchalant metallic sound of the door opening.

Inside… was a girl who was currently straightening up her lower back.

“…………”

“…………”

She had probably been about to pull her peach-colored panties back up,
because she was holding the elastic band at about the middle of her thighs
when she froze in place. Her movements were probably cancelled because of
the sudden intruder (me), which sadly made her look a bit funny. And, since
her skirt was slightly lifted up, I could see right into the place her panties
should’ve been hiding.

“………”
“……”

For several seconds, we just stared at each other. If the other person had
been a man, I might’ve been able to survive the situation. However, no matter
where I looked, she was a girl. Not to mention she was quite the cute one.

First impression: She was an existence that would break the moment you
touched her. Like Snow White.

Silver-blond short hair, with a contemplative cool-colored fashion sense. A

necklace hung down from her neck, and earrings with a shell motif made her
look like a mermaid. Her height should be around one head shorter than me.
No, she’s on the smaller side even for a girl. No major bumps gave her a
slender bodyline, and her slender shoulders gave off a weird sex appeal.

A middle schooler… or even high schooler? The gap of her charm threw me
off guard, which made me unable to guess her exact age.

—Wait, why am I just calmly assessing the situation and her appearance?

This is totally wrong, you know? I have to clear up the situation properly and
not get entranced by her. Even if this was an accident, even if I had a reason
for this to happen, the moment I saw her, it was absolutely moot.

Then I just have to act like I didn’t see her; like I didn’t realize it. I’ll just
perform the action a human who didn’t notice her would take. That is…!!!

“At this rate I’ll wet myself!!! —is what I’ll do, acting like I can’t keep it in
while pulling my pants down.” I started speaking nonsense.
“Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooooo!!!”

When this ear-piercing scream rang out in the toilet, I received a direct hit to
my solar plexus and collapsed right on the spot.

“Ahahahaha! That’s great, so great! To think that your first contact would be a
lucky pervert moment!”

“…It’s not great at all. It’s actually really bad.”

“Kukukuku, well, it’s not like anybody was hurt. Well, except a certain
someone.”

“Why didn’t you tell me beforehand that she was in the toilet? That almost
gave me a criminal record!”

It was around 30 minutes after the so-called ‘lucky pervert’ moment.

For some reason, I was sitting at the same table as the Snow White whom I
had interrupted before. While I stuffed an italian hamburger that tasted like
nothing into my mouth, Oji-san grinned from ear to ear, and Snow White
sipped on her tomato juice with a deadpan expression on her face. Because I
hadn’t paid enough attention earlier, the dinner had turned really awkward.
While I watched the girl intently bite down on the straw to her tomato juice, I
was reminded that Iroha also liked tomato juice.

Maybe it’s popular with high school girls right now? Well, I also like it,
which is why I always keep some in my refrigerator, so doesn’t that
essentially make me a high school girl?

Bringing myself back from my futile attempt to escape reality, I coughed,

trying to get my mind back on track so that I could move the conversation
forward.

“…So, President Tsukinomori. Who is this girl…?”

“Oh? You don’t remember? You used to come to our house and play together
all the time.”

“Together… Eh?”

Now that he mentioned it, I felt like her face seemed familiar somehow. I
gazed at her profile—

“Wait… Mashiro…?”

“Don’t use Mashiro’s given name. She’ll lose her divinity,” Mashiro said.

What do you mean ‘divinity?’

“It really is Mashiro, huh…? You grew up to be such a beauty that I didn’t
recognize you at all.”

“……!”

Just as her name suggested, her pure-white skin shone with a slightly orange-
red hue. She bit on her straw so intently that the form of the straw changed
and sucked up the tomato juice like a vampire would suck up the blood of his
victim.
—Tsukinomori Mashiro.

Oji-san’s… daughter. Basically, she’s my cousin. Around ten years ago, we

would visit them every month, and I often played with her and her three older
brothers. Since both of our parents had gotten busy recently, it became harder
for us to see each other, and we had completely grown apart—

I had heard through a rumour that she was attending a famous rich lady
school… so I guess that was true, then.

With her current aura, she totally looked like a rich girl.

“But why is Mashiro here?”

“Because I brought her with me. Even though she got here when I did, she
was in the toilet the whole time. Girls her age really have it hard with
menstruation and that sort of thing.”

“Father, don’t say anything unnecessary. Mashiro will kill you for sexual
harassment.”

“Ahh, how harsh… She was such a pampered child when she was younger. Is
this what they call her rebellious age?!”

“That just now was clearly Ojii-san’s fault.”

“You’re right.”

“But Aki is the worst; peeking into the toilet like that. Die.”

“Uuu… It really hurts because I can’t say anything back…”

I’m totally being despised here… When I remember the days when we were
as close as siblings, that cold attitude really cuts deep. Even more so because
I deserve it. I really would like to get our relationship back on track…

“And also, Mashiro didn’t want to come here in the first place…”

“Don’t say that, Mashiro. Your father is worried about you from the bottom
of his heart, you know?”

“Mashiro can’t trust her sexually-harassing father.”

“Uuumu, I don’t have any words against that. My my.”

In response to Mashiro’s sharp reply, Oji-san could only rub his head with a
troubled expression. It seemed like the daughter was the one who held the
authority here. That much could clearly be seen from the scene in front of me.

“Well, whatever. Anyway, let’s get to the main topic.”

“Ah, yes.”

Maybe thinking that any more discussion would be a waste of time, Oji-san
went back to being ‘President Tsukinomori.’ Realizing that, I felt my body
fill with tension again, and my back straightened once more.

“The condition for me to take your team ‘5th floor alliance’ under Honey
Play’s wings is—”

When said the word ‘condition,’ I could see Mashiro’s shoulders twitch.

Huh? — I thought to myself, but I decided to ignore her and focus on the
President’s next words.
“—Until graduation, I want you to become Mashiro’s fake boyfriend.”

For one second, I couldn’t grasp what I had been just told. That typical rom-
com phrase… was it just my imagination?

“…………”

“…………”

And apparently, Mashiro wasn’t unaffected either, since we both were

speechless. But the more the clock moved forward, the more my mind was
able to process his words.

“Uhm… what exactly do you want me to become?”

“Her fake boyfriend.”

It seems like I really didn’t mishear him.

…Eh? …Ehhhhh?

“…I don’t get it. Are you an idiot? Why should Mashiro have to undergo
such torture?” Mashiro said.

Yeah, exactly. That’s totally it. Mashiro perfectly put into words what I was
thinking. Well, I wouldn’t call it torture, but still.

Bang!

“WILL YOU STOP SAYING SUCH EGOISTIC THINGS FOR ONCE!!!”

Oji-san slammed the table with his hand and closed in on Mashiro’s face. He
turned towards Mashiro, who had averted her eyes with an obviously
reluctant look on her face, and jumped up from his seat.

“I granted you your wish of switching schools from that prestigious school to
a co-ed public school, even though it broke my heart, you know?! Is it really
that hard to understand that I would want to protect you from those monsters
filled with desire by getting you a bodyguard?!”

“…Even so, getting Mashiro a fake boyfriend doesn’t make any sense. She
don’t want that at all,” Mashiro objected.

“Getting you a real bodyguard would feel totally out of place, don’t you
think? I cannot allow my precious daughter to be bullied at school because of
my overprotectiveness!”

“Tch,” Mashiro clicked her tongue. “And what about leaving her alone?”

“That’s not going to happen.”

An instant reply.

“Listen, Mashiro. A co-ed school is dangerous. It’s a hellhole filled with

evil, sex-crazed monsters. If an innocent, rich girl like you entered that kind
of hell, her purity would be forcefully stripped from her in a matter of
months!”

“What kind of slum do you think a co-ed school is? And wait just a
moment…”

I cut in. “Can I ask a question?”

“Judging from what you’re saying… Mashiro is going to attend my school,

right?”
“Yes, that’s exactly it, Akiteru-kun. I’ve already prepared anything, so from
tomorrow onwards, you and Mashiro will be classmates.”

“Why so suddenly? I mean, Mashiro’s previous school was a super

prestigious all-girls academy, after all.”

It’s an enclosed girls’ university with an affiliated high school. There’s a

very high possibility of continuing on to the affiliated university via what’s
called the ‘escalator principle.’ So why would she go out of her way to
transfer to an ordinary public high school like mine?

“You see, actually—” Oji-san started.

“S-Stop. Don’t tell Aki about that,” Mashiro pulled on his sleeve.

“I can’t do that, you know. Since I’m asking this of him, he has to at least
grasp the basic situation,” Oji-san responded.

He opened his mouth and made a difficult expression. “Actually… Mashiro

didn’t go to school most of the time.”

“So it was truancy?” I asked.

“………”

“Frankly, you could call it that,” Oji-san muttered as she glanced at Mashiro,
who was biting her lip.

Maybe it’s a past she doesn’t want me to know about.

“Though it would be quite the long story to explain the reason—”

“I don’t need any reason,” I said, interrupting Oji-san.

When she heard that, Mashiro lifted up her head in surprise. She looked at
me with a confused expression that basically said ‘Why won’t you ask?’ and
‘You won’t pry into it?’

“Something happened, she stopped going to school, and now she wants to
change, so she’s transferring schools. That’s all the information I need. I
don’t plan on prying into it any more.”

I’m a man who thrives on efficiency. So I won’t investigate it any more than I
have to, and I won’t interfere any, either. Holding out a helping hand to
people who are in trouble can be done without having to listen to the reason,
after all.

“Aki…”

“…Fufu, that’s a nice philosophy you have there.”

Mashiro looked at me with eyes that showed her surprise.

And Oji-san looked relieved.

“I understand the circumstances. And Oji-san’s worries too… However,

even if we were to act as lovers on the outside, I cannot promise any secure
position for her in the class.”

“No problem. Having a lover guarantees you a top position in the class’
hierarchy. I’m actually happy if she can make it through this co-ed school at
the top of the caste!”
“Did something happen during your student days? I can feel some resentment
there.”

“Nope, I was a dandy from when I was born,” Oji-san declared.

There’s no way.

Though Oji-san’s pitch-black spring of life really interests me, it doesn’t

matter for now.

“So this is the condition that I can’t refuse?”

“Yes. Absolutely.”

…Shit. Normally he’s a relaxed joke of an adult and would make up weird
conditions, but I totally can’t decline if he’s saying it with that serious look in
his eyes. And he must have a reason for entrusting Mashiro to me. Maybe
that’s connected to the reason why Mashiro started skipping school—

I won’t pry into it.

I’m not trying to play the good guy here. I’ll use this chance to bring about my
desired path for my game development team.

“I understand. I accept the condition.”

“……!”

All that’s left are Mashiro’s feelings.

Maybe it was because she didn’t expect that response, but her eyes opened
wide, only to narrow again as she seemed to lose herself in her thoughts.
While muttering something to herself in a volume so low that I couldn’t make
out the words, she glared at me.

“If it’s fake… then Mashiro accepts. Though it doesn’t sit right with her, she
does want to transfer schools. And she’ll keep her promises, even though she
doesn’t like it.”

I see. So Mashiro also had something like a deal with her dad. Really, I
never expected that the condition for my bargain would be us becoming fake
lovers.

—Well, since both Mashiro and I are in similar positions, I guess there’s no
need to hold back.

“I’m looking forward to it, Mashiro.”

“Don’t become so friendly with Mashiro, perverted toilet man. It’s just fake.
There’s no need for us to be close.”

“…Well that’s fine, I guess.”

Mashiro pushed away my right hand when I held it out for a handshake. This
might be first time that I’ve ever been denied a normal handshake like this.
Though, in light of what I did around 30 minutes prior, I should be happy that
I’m not currently in jail, I guess.

“Fufufu, I’m glad to see you this close. It seems like we can get this cleanly
off the ground, you couple~”

“How could you possibly misconstrue this to say that we’re on close terms?”

“Agreed. Father’s eyes must’ve gone bad.”

“Ha ha ha! Your reactions are perfect! —Ahh, that reminds me. Akiteru-kun.”

“Yes?”

“You’re nothing more than her fake boyfriend. You know what would happen
if you were to really lay your hands on Mashiro, right?”

Uwah, that face is scary. If you really don’t trust me, then don’t bring up the
proposal in the first place! Though this wouldn’t happen in reality, a rom-
com normally always goes all the way with the fake couple setting, you
know.

“There’s no need to worry. Mashiro somehow gives me the impression that

she really hates me, anyway.”

“……………Hmph.”

There’s no way that any weird things would happen when she hates me like
this. This isn’t a rom-com, this is reality.

“Then, I’m asking for your help from tomorrow onward, Mr Fake
Boyfriend~”

“…Understood.”

And just like that, in order to become employed at Honey Play, I became
Mashiro’s fake boyfriend.

「What do you think of this fake boyfriend setting, Ozu?」

「It’s stereotypical rom-com. A total boyfriend flag. At first, you’re hated,
but she gets more and more attracted to you later on.」

「But what if we were actually talking about reality with a cold girl like
her?」

「…I can only see a lovey-dovey future in store for you.」

「Ehhh…」
 C 4:
O B ’ A T I S
T M

“M-Mashiro’s name is Tsukinomori Mashiro, a-and she will be attending this

school from now on. Uhm, ehm, well, actually… Ooboshi Akiteru-kun and
Mashiro… are actually going out.”

That stay had already started with trouble.

A sudden transfer student, a sudden invasion of beauty, a sudden declaration

of a relationship.

—Because of this sudden wave of information caused by her self-

introduction, my fellow classmates looked like they had just gone down a jet
coaster ride. And—

“She’s going out with Ooboshi…? Seriously…?!”

“Ehhh, her beauty is wasted on Ooboshi.”

“Just when I thought that we had finally gotten a cute transfer student…
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”

“Who even is this Ooboshi guy?”

I was swallowed by a flood of questions and more questions and resentment.
And also, to that last guy — at least remember the name of your classmates.
To be fair, I don’t remember their names either, so I can’t talk all high and
mighty about it. On any other day, my presence would have been on the same
level as mere air, but as soon as the word ‘Lover’ was brought up, I had their
full attention, huh? Just how much are these adolescent bastards hoping for a
love life?

“Okaaay, question! Where did you meet Ooboshi-kun?”

“Eh? Uhm… the toilet?”

“Hm?”

Hey, you idiot. Don’t do something as stupid as telling the truth. No wait, that
wasn’t even the first time we met. Can’t you think of a more — how do I say
it — normal situation? Like, something from ten years ago or something? At
least try, will you?

“Uhm… Mashiro doesn’t really remember. S-Setting that aside… I’m

looking forward to studying with you all!”

Mashiro hurriedly lowered her head, cutting off the conversation, and headed
towards her seat. All of the other students let out a collective sigh of
disappointment, but let it go.

Yeah, this is reality. Though this development could straight come out of a
light novel or an anime, this is without a doubt really happening.

Well, it might garner some attention for around an hour, but other people
won’t stay interested for much longer than that. It’s just human nature. Since
she’s a beautiful transfer student, she might receive the idol treatment, but as
soon as word gets out that she has a boyfriend, those idiots surely will be
smart enough to hold back. It seems like Oji-san was right about this. Just
what you would expect from the president of a world-wide business.
Hanging her head from embarrassment, Mashiro hurriedly sat down on the
seat next to mine. As if it were something completely natural, the seat next to
me was mysteriously open today. Just how much influence does that old man
really have? Did he blackmail our school’s president or something?

“Let’s both do our best,” I said to Mashiro, flashing her a bitter smile.

When I did, Mashiro’s tension-filled expression softened, and…

“Don’t talk to Mashiro, you perverted evil toilet god. Mashiro won’t forgive
you, okay?” she said with a frigid tone of voice.

“Even though you were just acting like shyness personified. Why do you turn
into a queen the moment I talk to you?”

“Because Mashiro hates you. That is all.”

“Do you even have any intention of pretending to be my girlfriend?”

“Not really. They’re all just ignorant people. If we just state it as fact, they
won’t think too much about it. Mashiro won’t pretend to be close to you even
if it’s an act. Don’t look at me.”

“No, it really doesn’t work like that…”

We whispered back and forth in a volume quiet enough for other people not
to hear. Even though I thought that we would at least act friendly at school in
order to increase the credibility of our claim, Mashiro clearly lived on a
different island.

“Hey, are they really going out?”

Just as I had expected, we attracted gazes from all over the classroom.

“That transfer student looks super pissed. It looks more like she actually
hates Ooboshi?”

“Idiot. It’s exactly because they’re a couple that they fight like this. Your
parents fight all the time too, right?”

“That’s right! Now that you mention it, this thorny atmosphere seems pretty
real!”

…I can hear everything, you bastards. But I’m glad they’re all so stupid. It
seems like we might be able to play this off without having to do that much.
The problem of course is from here on out. Setting aside these mob
characters, even a loner like me has some people who I have to explain this
situation to. One of said people pushed their body forward from their seat
behind me and quietly raised their voice.

“I’m really surprised… Aki has a girlfriend? Were you keeping it a secret
before now?”

“Ozu… sorry, explaining it would take too long, but I can assure you that
you’re totally wrong about that.”

“Ah, well. I thought that there might be something off.”

“The fact that you’re so considerate saves me a lot of time.”

“—Does it have anything to do with that?”

“……Well, yeah.”

I really have a considerate friend. Of course, he already knew that I had to

strike a deal with President Tsukinomori. After all, he was involved as much
as I was. That’s exactly why I need to explain this situation to him later.

…But how should I even explain this?

“Well, I’ll give you the details later, but the short version is that we’re acting
as a fake couple.”

Yeah, that was probably an acceptable explanation for now. In response, Ozu
laughed.

“You’re like the protagonist of a rom-com.”

“You’re one to talk. A while ago, that student council president called out to
you. You know, that really beautiful girl.”

“The computer in the student council office broke down, so she just wanted
me to take a look at it.”

“But why would she go so far to specifically ask for Ozu, one year younger
than her? That clearly shows that she’s interested in you, man.”

“Naaaah, if I really thought that something as trivial as that meant that she
liked me, then I’d be a joke of a man.”

“There are other instances of this, you know. In the shopping mall in front of
the train station, you bumped into that mysterious girl. That crazy girl that ran
away without paying for her taiyaki.[2] You must’ve met her before at least
once, right?”

“It’s true that I see her from time to time in front of the station. It’s just a total
coincidence, though. She asked me to treat her to some taiyaki.”

“You’re totally her target, I bet.”

“Dude, where’d your rational thinking go? Bumping into a guy and asking to
be treated to a meal? That’s totally fraud.”

“So you didn’t treat her?”

“Of course I didn’t? She ran away when I went to call the police.”

Woah, rational thinking.

“You’re the pinnacle of a protagonist. You just raise flags wherever you go.”

“Ha ha, I think that Aki is just reading too much into it.”

In this world, there are people who were born to carry the weight of being
protagonists. This friend of mine, Kohinata Ozuma, was probably born under
such a star. He’s a chosen being. We’ve been friends for about three years
now, and as far as I can tell, he’s the personification of a rom-com
protagonist.

While hundreds of men get such chances only once in their lifetime, he’ll
meet a beautiful girl almost weekly. On the roadside, at school, on the
internet. In the strangest of places. Not to mention that all of them clearly
show their affection towards Ozu. And the person in question isn’t one of
those catcalling types of people, either. Not at all. Actually, he doesn’t seem
to be interested in love in the slightest. Instead, he pursues his own hobbies
of programming and the appreciation of otaku culture, as well as immersing
himself in the creation of games. He’s a true otaku who stays true to his ways.
Even though he shows no interest in meeting girls, he just happens to anyway.
And the person himself isn’t even aware of it.

Who else could you call a rom-com protagonist if not him?

“The only thing that’s missing is a brocon little sister and it would be
perfect… Well, that’s pretty impossible, I guess.”

“Because Iroha is in LOVE with Aki after all~! Aki is the protagonist from
my point of view, though.”

“No, that’s impossible.”

Around me, there are only girls who hate me. Such as the annoying Iroha, or
my new seat neighbour Mashiro, whose aura was currently saying “Talk to
me and I’ll kill you.” It really is sad.

“Mhm… I really don’t want to be called an oblivious protagonist, though.”

“If Iroha gives me a reaction like blushing from ear to ear when she sees me,
then I might believe you.”

Well, that’s probably less plausible than heaven and earth rotating
backwards.

After first period ended, we had a short break. My first real interaction with
Mashiro had already happened. Namely, I let her look at my workbooks and
whatnot. Whenever our hands got anywhere close to touching, though, she
would jump back like she was allergic to me and glare at me with cold eyes.
When I realized that this would probably happen another five times before
school ended, I could only sigh in defeat. I could practically feel my studying
efficiency dropping, maybe because of the stress.

Something like this might even turn a big positive into a negative even though
I’m going to gain a lot from this deal with Oji-san…

While I was busy thinking that, a single male student walked over towards
me with a big grin on his face.

—Woah, this gives me shivers. What’s up with that face? It very clearly says
something like ‘I’m gonna ask a really awkward question now.’ It’s actually
quite impressive that he can give off that vibe just by making a face.

“Ooboshi~ dude, you actually had a girlfriend.”

“…Well, yeah.”

Let’s try to answer indifferently.

“You already have that Kohai you seem to be pretty close to, right? I totally
thought that you were going out with her.”

—Ehhh?

Hey, normally you wouldn’t say things like that if my girlfriend was sitting
directly next to me. Though Mashiro won’t get jealous for her fake boyfriend,
I don’t even want to picture the scenario if she really did. Is this guy just an
idiot who can’t read the atmosphere, or is he jealous of me being this
beautiful transfer student’s boyfriend? Either way, he was already being a
pain.

“That’s just Ozu’s little sister. We’re just acquaintances, and we’re totally not
like that at all.”

“Ohhh~ You looked really close though. A while ago, she even came here
specifically asking for you, right?”

“She wanted some advice she couldn’t talk about with her older brother.”

“Seriously? That sounds weird. Are you sure that you’re not hiding
something~?”

Even if that were the case, I would have no reason to tell you about it.

Since I was getting more and more irritated with the conversation, I decided
to take a more radical approach.

“Since you seem to be starving for some love talk, should I tell you
something nice?”

“Ohh, what is it?”

“You’ve been aiming for our homeroom teacher, Kageishi-sensei, right?”

“Eh, how do you know that?”

That’s because I’m perfectly informed about this class’ human relationships.
Though Ozu is the only one I can call an actual friend, and I have no circle of
communication besides him, I’m always carefully watching my surroundings.
In this society, information is the one and only legally allowed weapon. You
never know when it will be of use. I always have my antennae out. Though I
always keep my cards close to my chest.

“She’s pretty famous after all. There’s a lot of rumours surrounding her.”

“Her cold gaze really is great. Being strongly scolded by her made me feel
like a new door in my life had opened.”

“How about it? Do you want to know her favorite type of men?”

“Eh? Well, of course I would if I could. But that’s pretty impossible, isn’t
it?”

“It’s simple. I heard it from a teacher she’s on good terms with.”

“Seriously?! Hey, please tell me! I’ll do anything to make her mine!!”

And he immediately fell for it. His brainpower really is lacking. I’m really
worried for his future.

“Apparently, Kageishi-sensei likes men who like macho men.”

“Mhm? Wait a second. What did you just…?”

“I’ll say it again. She likes men who like macho men.”

“Not just macho men?”

“Not just macho men, but men who like macho men. Basically, she likes men
with a muscle fetish.”

“Seriously? Macho men, huh?”

“Seriously. Macho men.”

“So… if I were to show her my love for macho men, then…!!!”

“Kageishi-sensei’s love will be yours alone.”

“Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

“Yeaaahh!!!”

We did a high-five. Of course, that was all just made up. Even though I had
only made it up in order to roast him, it really made me feel like dying. But
with this, this idiot will walk around the school boasting about how he has a
muscle fetish. I watched his back while he gleefully returned to his seat and
clapped my hands together to perform a small prayer.

Congratulations on the premature end to your adolescence.

“……………”

“Hmm?”

I felt a gaze from my side, and I looked over. Of course, the source of the
gaze was Mashiro.

Staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare.

She was looking at me so intently that I could almost hear it.

Maybe my actions just now were a bit too much. Yeah. I’m sorry, I also think
that I’m annoying. Please let me apologize.

—When I returned a gaze filled with these thoughts…

“……Hmph,” she averted her eyes with a displeased expression on her face.

—Well, that makes sense.

All right, let’s reflect on our actions and not play any pranks on my
annoying classmates anymore. She’ll probably cheer up sooner or later.

I thought that. I was naive.

Rather than cheering up, Mashiro’s mood reached its lowest point after
second period.

Even though I moved closer to let her have a look at the workbooks, she just
stole them and exchanged them for some light novels that she was reading.
Since I had no other choice, I read through them during class, but they were
all rom-coms with dense protagonists. It’s not really a genre that I strongly
like or dislike, but what was she trying to achieve by having me read them?

And when it was time for our next break—

“Mashiro’s hungry. Go buy her some rice balls. They’d better not have
anything besides seafood in them.”

“Huh? Why should I run your errands for you?”

“A boyfriend would do that, wouldn’t he? Or should we just stop our

pretense here?”

“Guh… I get it. I’ll just buy you one.”

—And just like that, I became her errand boy.

Mashiro pushed unreasonable demands on me, teased me for absolutely no
reason, and kept our exchanges short. This continued until 3rd period. Just
because our reunion had the worst possible outcome doesn’t mean that you
have to treat me so horribly! Way back when, she was just an introverted,
cute cousin. Where did her education go wrong? She didn’t act like this
during first period. Just after our break, it had gotten way worse.

…Don’t tell me, she heard that I was on friendly terms with a female kouhai,
and now she’s jealous… or something?

—No, that’s impossible. Mashiro isn’t my real girlfriend. She’s just a fake
girlfriend who hates me to the bone. There should be no reason for her to get
jealous.

Is the flow of time really this cruel? When we were younger, she would
always trot after me like a pup, but now she’s like the Ice Queen often
featured in light novels. She only talks to me to give me orders or to tell me
how much she hates me. Comparing her behaviour to Iroha’s, this is a whole
different level of being annoying. Pretending to be Mashiro’s boyfriend until
graduation could end up being even more tiring than I could have ever
possibly imagined. Can I really clear the mission Oji-san assigned me and
find my place under his wings?

As I spent my time grieving over what was going to happen from now on, 4th
period started. When the bell rang, the atmosphere inside the classroom
changed dramatically, like a storm was approaching.

—That’s right, it wasn’t Mashiro who was most deserving of the title
“Queen.” What was about to begin was the real “Queen’s time” — the class
of the most-feared “Poisonous Queen.”
Rattle!!!

The door opened. Just from that, the faces of all the students present froze.
While tension and silence ruled the classroom, only the sound of high heels
tapping on the floor could be heard. The female teacher, with her hair bound
upwards, Kageishi Sumire, stepped behind the teacher’s desk, and
wordlessly watched the students in front of her. She glared at them with a
gaze that transmitted her bloodlust…

“It seems like the ape exhibit is closed for today.”

Seeming satisfied with her dominance of the classroom, her lips formed a
faint smile.

“…Then let’s start class. Page 127, the third formula,” Sumire rapped on the
teacher’s desk with a ruler.

At the same time, like soldiers in training, every single one of the 40 students
opened their workbooks. Though this might be different from the classes so
far, this was only the beginning for Kageishi Sumire’s normal classes.

“Now, it’s time for some questions. If anyone doesn’t understand something,
please raise your hand.”

“………!!!”

Here it is — is what everyone’s expression right now was saying.

Though everyone had gotten pretty used to it after one year, the same couldn’t
be said for early in the semester. In normal Japanese education, once the
teacher had explained the contents of the workbook, they would go on to ask
more difficult questions. But, for Kageishi Sumire, it was the opposite.

“Teachers that only review via the workbook have no more value than
rubbish. What’s written in those should be read by the students. If there’s
something that they don’t understand, then it’s a teacher’s job to help
them.”

Those words that Sumire had said during her first lesson were still engraved
in my brain. At that time, I felt understanding for her sentiment, and I agreed
that this might be a wonderful, efficient way of thinking.

…However, even with this leadership technique, there will still be people
who won’t follow along.

“I’m sorry. I forgot to read the workbook,” a student wearing glasses said,
lifting his hand.

I see… that’s quite rebellious. In this class, he’s known for being quite the
prodigy. He’s definitely not the type to forget something like that. Judging
from that fact, he probably didn’t forget about it at all; he just didn’t read it.
The reason he was saying this was simple.

“Ah, can we stop this already? I want to be taught normally from the start.”

A proposal to change the current routine!

After taking a good, hard look at said student, Sumire sighed, and said…

“I see, what a shame. Do some self-study on it later, then.”

With those few words, shut down the student’s rebellion.

“B-But… Um, this way of doing it really is weird. I’ve never heard of
anything like this before.”

“Yeah, it figures. After all, it’s because I conduct my class differently from
other people.”

“T-That’s irresponsible!!! In the end, you just have no intention of properly

teaching us at all!”

“Irresponsible? This coming from the person who didn’t properly prepare
for class?”

“Guh…!”

A splendid response made the student swallow his words. And she continued
with a follow-up.

“If you keep going against the people who give you instructions, you’ll end
up poor for all I care. But I won’t take responsibility for that. My way of
teaching guarantees success, and that is my way of taking responsibility.”

“Grrrrr…!”

“‘Keep your promises,’ ‘Be strict with yourself,’ ‘Immediately report errors
to the higher-ups…’ these are all qualities sought by society. Anyone who
can’t attain them is nothing more than human garbage.”

“…Uuuu…”

“Always keep that in mind if you want to become a proper human being. If
you understand, then sit down.”
“…Y-Yes…”

The male student awkwardly sat back down in utter defeat. Normally, the
eyes behind his glasses brimmed with confidence, but he had been robbed of
that by those few words.

—She’s as eloquent as ever. This teacher really doesn’t know when to hold
back.

“Then, next question?”

From start to finish, that stiff atmosphere continued to rule the classroom
during that period. After what felt like two or three periods combined, the
bell finally rang.

“—It’s over, huh? Read through page 135 for the next class. That’s all.”

After she said these words, the atmosphere relaxed. Sumire picked up her
materials and was about to step out of the classroom — when she suddenly
stopped and turned to look at me. Because of this unusual action on the part
of the “Poisonous Queen,” I suddenly had the full attention of the other
students around me.

…I feel like I’m getting a lot of attention recently…

“Ooboshi-kun. Come to the guidance counselor’s office during lunch break.”

“…Why?”

“You should very well know why,” She said in a low voice while glaring at
me with a murderous gaze.
“I see… I understand.”

“Then make sure to be on time.”

Sumire-sensei left only these words behind, and the sound of her heels grew
distant as she left. And when that sound had completely vanished—

“Hey, Ooboshi, are you going to be okay?”

“What do you mean?”

The classmate who didn’t normally talk to me, Takashi (temporary), raised
his voice. He was without a doubt a normie.

“You’re going to be face-to-face with the queen in the guidance room… What
the hell did you do?”

All of them only gave me special treatment in times like these. Well, I can’t
blame them this time. After all, the guidance counselor’s office is basically
known to be Sumire’s domain. She would call over the students who got a
failing grade or were late to class. Behind locked doors with no way to peek
inside, she would educate them one-on-one. Rumour has it that a yankee with
a mohawk and nose piercing came back one hour later, completely reformed.

So it makes sense that I would attract attention if I was called to the

“Poisonous Queen’s” castle like that. But, since I wasn’t that much of a big-
shot, I calmly responded.

“What did I do… Maybe something that deserves the death penalty.”

“That’s a pretty big deal. Why are you so calm about it?”
“It’s fine. I won’t die that easily,” I said nonchalantly and stood up from my
seat.

Ozu stopped me before I could walk away.

“…Are you really fine?”

“Even Ozu’s worried about me? Don’t worry, ok? I’ll be back soon.”

“…Y-Yeah.”

I showed Ozu a faint smile and stepped out of the classroom. He still seemed
a bit worried.

Now then, from here on out it’s war. Let’s see what tricks you have up your
sleeve, “Poisonous Queen”-sama.

“Please excuse me.”

I politely knocked three times, minding my manners. “Come in,” said a

young-sounding woman. I slowly opened the door. What greeted me inside
were various torture devices. And, while gazing at said objects, Kageboshi
Sumire spoke.

“You were fast. Are you that prepared to die?”

“I didn’t want to waste even a single second.”

While Sumire let out an ominous laugh, I took a seat on a nearby chair.
Watching me with a cold gaze, she stomped her heels and pushed herself up
from the chair, walked towards me with a demon-like expression on her face,
and…

“Akiteru-sama, I’m so very sorry!!!”

…Kneeled down in front of me. With so much force that the floor seemed to
cave in a bit. It really was splendid form, like a salaryman kneeling down in
front of his boss.

“It seems that you are aware of the sin you committed, Murasaki Shikibu-
sensei.”

“T-That gaze filled with bloodlust…”

“Of course. I hurried here to give you your time of death as fast as possible.”

“Uuu… But but but! Since my preparations for the midterms weren’t done at
all, I didn’t have any time to work on the illustrations!”

“It seems that you still had time to watch ‘My Honey,’ though?”

“Work and hobbies use different stomachs!”

“If wonder if we could fix the problem if we cut off the satellite broadcast
for all eternity.”

“D-Demon!!! Are you serious?! I’ll die if you take anime away from me!”

“Yes, that would be taking it a bit too far…”

Kageishi Sumure. Pen name: Murasaki Shikibu-sensei.

To think that the “Poisonous Queen,” who reigns over her students in the
classroom and lectures them whenever she has the chance, is actually an
illustrator who never manages to be on time. By the way, all the torture
devices in here are actually fake, and are just here to scare all the students
and teachers off so that she can secretly draw without being interrupted.

“‘All of you pigs who aren’t on time, pack your things and leave
immediately,’” I quoted to her.

“Ughh…”

“‘You people who are the same as newborn pigs, protecting society’s laws is
the first thing to learn. Just when will you actually grow up to be human
beings?’”

“Ehhh…”

“‘Protecting one’s promises, being strict with oneself, and reporting errors to
the higher-ups immediately; humans that can’t do these things are nothing
more than useless trash.’”

“I apologize! I’m so sorry! But that ‘Queen’ character is nothing more than a
roleplay of mine and it’s certainly not because it felt good being a bossy
teacher towards the studeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeents!!!”

With tears in her eyes and snot running down from her nose, the “Poisonous
Queen”-sama was trying her hardest to apologize.

Ahhh, I so want to take a picture of this and send it to the class’ group chat…
Well, I’m not even a member of that chat, but still.
This cold-hearted teacher, or rather good-for-nothing teacher, should really
thank me for not having many friends.

“It still surprises me that you can say stuff like that out loud.”

“I can’t help it, can I?! As I teacher, I have to uphold my dignity! Otherwise
the order in the classroom will be destroyed by those normies and hooligans,
you know?!”

“There aren’t any students like that nowadays. Where did you even get that
information from?”

“That’s how it always ends in those mangas!”

“Well that makes sense I guess.”

In general, the problems lie within the class itself. But stop using manga as a
reference for your education techniques, okay?

“Haaah… It’s not like that way of teaching is wrong or anything.”

If you’re just going to write stuff on the blackboard, you don’t need teachers.
It should be enough to read through the workbooks instead. I have to agree
with her on that. Because of that, you can learn independently, and using the
additional information provided by teachers, you can strive for the most
efficient study methods.

“Well, whatever… So how far are you with the illustrations? Let me see your
progress.”

“Ahh, about that. For now…”

Sumire took out her tablet, and she started deliberately acting cute for some
reason—

“…Something like this… I guess?”

—And showed me a blank page.

“I’m sure that we can use some of these torture objects in here, right?”

“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!!”

“What do you mean ‘Something like this?!’ Are you looking down on me on
something?!”

“I meaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, I can’t help it, I’m in a slump after

aaaaaaaaaaall!!!”

“Then ask me for advice. Before it’s actually too late.”

“Ehhh, if I said that I was in a slump, then my cool image would go to ruin,
don’t you think?”

“Where’s this ‘cool image’ of yours right now, huh?”

“Ouch, ouch, ouch, I’m sorry I apologize please stop hitting all the good
spots on my stiff shoulders please! Aheeeeee, it’s gonna break!”

While I forcefully pushed down on her sensitive spots with my fingers,

Sumire let out a shriek and some heavy wheezing. She then proceeded to sink
down on the floor with an ahegao, convulsing and twitching.
By the way, the spot I just hit is called the ‘Kensei.’ Though I’ve never really
experienced being touched there, it seems to be quite effective. While I was
searching for the most efficient healthy state for studying, I researched a lot
of different spots inside the human body.

“Really… Nobody would ever guess that such a scary teacher would actually
be this much of a useless human being…”

“Ahiiii… E-phen if you shay that…”

“Well, the beginning of our romance wasn’t exactly decent, either—”

I remembered back to it while looking down at the collapsed female teacher.

lt happened during summer break last year—

It was the hottest day on record for the past several years. And it had to be on
this day that I was grumpily heading to an international exhibition. A certain
otaku event with a long-running history, where a lot of talented people gather.

—I went to NatsuComi to gather information.

My goal was to find an illustrator. I had already found a developer in Ozu, so

the only people left to find were a scenario writer and an illustrator. To be
honest, trying to find a pro or semi-pro in this mass of people was quite the
reckless plan, not to mention that I was a high school student trying to scout
them. I knew that from the very beginning. They would probably only take it
as a joke or something. However, I still continued to walk down the aisles
with all the different illustrator booths, handing out business cards and
making my offer over and over.
I wasn’t able to strike a deal on the first or the second day, and my third day
was rather uneventful so far—

After being rejected by the 78th artist, the fateful encounter finally happened.
It was a booth with several assorted derived works from a popular shounen
manga. The cover showed a pretty young young man being toyed with by a
well-built Onee-san, who was glaring at him with a rather stimulating gaze.
The depiction of the boy made even me feel excited, because it felt so real. It
really gave off those Onee-san X Shouta[3] fetish vibes.

…They’re good.

Not to mention that I searched for the circle and illustrator name, but the only
thing that I could dig up was the homepage of the circle, with no records for
sales or anything. Realizing that she wasn’t working for any company yet
really got my hopes up.

A person of this level is completely free?! Seriously, this is a hidden treasure

trove.

“Uhm, I’m sorry. Is the person who drew this book present, by any chance?” I
asked the person selling the books. I didn’t know whether she was just a
cosplayer or just a friend of the illustrator, but she looked at me with a really
troubled expression.

“Uhm, ehm, dear guest… Um…”

When the vendor called out, the person inside the booth—

“Is it an editor from a publishing company? Ahh, I would be thankful for that,
but our business is—”
—Turned towards me, already in the middle of declining, but she froze the
moment she saw my face.

…Yeah, it was also quite a shock for me.

To think that our school’s most feared teacher would be drawing erotic
doujinshi. Especially ones that featured a middle schooler and a beautiful
teacher.

“It’s not like I have any extensive knowledge of the laws surrounding it, but
having a second job as a civil servant is strictly prohibited. Strictly speaking,
even selling doujinshi is a rather gray area,” I said.

“I-I can’t help it. If I gave them away for free, the value doujinshi in the
marketplace might fall down… I have quite a lot of respect for this event,
you know.”

“That spirit is very admirable, but still…”

She does have impressive confidence. She must think that her pictures aren’t
of a level where she should give them away for free. And she’s actually
pretty right about that. The Onee X Shota doujinshi of Kageboshi Sumire, or
rather Murasaki Shikibu, had even better quality than I had anticipated. You
could probably serialize this in an ero manga immediately without any
problems. So why is it that she didn’t choose being an illustrator for a job,
but rather become a math teacher at a high school?

“Still, it really was the best meeting ever for me. I can ask for high-level
illustrations whenever I want without any downside.”
“Uuu… you fiendish man… threatening a teacher. I can’t believe it…”

“Shouldn’t you blame yourself for showing me your weakness, you shotacon
female teacher?”

“Ugh…”

“Not to mention that just drawing this genre ended your luck.”

Main job: Female teacher.

Hidden face: Onee X Shota artist.

Not to mention that in her works, the young boy with a pretty face always gets
seduced by the teacher. Though the age range was anywhere from grade
schooler to high school student, the fact that it was totally immoral doesn’t
change.

“And the best thing is that you’re actually living in the same condominium on
the same floor.”

“I was shocked too, you know?! Now I can’t even hide when I’m not at
school!”

That’s right, the name of our team, ‘5th Floor Alliance’ only came into being
because all of its members coincidentally lived on the 5th floor of the same
apartment complex.

By the way, the scenario writer Makigai Namako-sensei is the only person
not living in our condominium. Even though there’s a free room on the 5th
floor, we decided against it in the end. We already have a very popular
Sensei writing the scenarios for us, so asking him to move here would be too
much. Apparently he was able to write such magnificent scenes and stories
precisely because he was living in solitude, so we decided to just leave that
as-is.

Well, enough of the origin of the name of the ‘5th Floor Alliance’ for now.

“Let’s get back on topic—”

To show my change of mood, I crossed my legs on the chair I was sitting and
looked down at Sumire.

“If you don’t want the school to find out, you know what to do, right?”

I restarted my threatening.

“Finish… the illustrations…” Sumire answered, still kneeling on the floor.

But she immediately lifted up her head, seeming to have remembered

something.

“I’m still in a slump, you know! If you want me to finish the illustrations, you
have to help me get my motivation back up!”

“That’s also a job of the producer. I’ll do anything to get your illustrations.”

“—Did you just say anything?”

“As long as it’s something I can do. Of course, I won’t prolong your
deadline.”

“I wouldn’t wish for something that unattainable. It’s just something from
Akiteru-sama’s body that I need.”
“Fufu,” Sumire let out a grown-up giggle with a bewitching smile, only to say
—

“For now, take off your pants and show me your dick.”

………

……

“…Hello, is this the police?”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnoooooooooooooooooooopoliceeeeeeeeeeeee
eeeeeeeestoooooooooooooooooooooop!!! I don’t want a disciplinary
dismissaaaaaaaal I just want my wageeeeeeeeeeees!!!”

“Shut up you obscene bitch of a teacher! What did you just say? I dare you to
ask that one more time!”

“But but but but!!! This time, I have to draw a male character that I have
absolutely no interest in, you know?! If it’s a shota, my pencil moves on its
own with just my fantasy, but I can’t do it like this!!!”

The world’s worst spoiled child. This is the first time I’ve ever been tempted
to use that phrase.

“But why start with a dick? And why not just look one up?”

“I can’t draw without a naked image in my head. Your silhouette can change
depending on your clothes, right?”

“You’re not wrong, but still.”

“There might be people who can draw with just a vague image… But in my
case, if I do that, the quality of my drawings will drop. I can’t lower my
standards!”

She’s suddenly very serious.

…Well, her words and actions are one thing, but her obsession with drawing
is the real deal. That’s why I kind of want to respect her wish, but—

“I get 95% of your reasoning. So what’s the other 5%?”

“Seeing the doggy of an active male high school student would be a sight for
sore eyes.”

“Hello, is this the po—”

“I’m lying! That was a lie! A female-teacher-like joke!”

“As if I could ignore a joke like that.”

It seems like her ability to think went to shit after pulling an all-nighter.
Maybe that’s why her poisonous verbal abuse has been so weak recently.

“Haah… for now, it’s time to sleep.”

“I’m sorry. Boys older than ten are a bit…”

“I’m not asking for sex here.”

Still, being disregarded like that kind of hurt. But I ignored the pain my chest
and continued.
“I’m saying that you should sleep and get a clear head again. You were
probably panicking because of your slump, which is why you didn’t get
enough sleep, right?”

“…Eh, disgusting.”

“Do you wanna pick a fight with me, you bastard?”

“Ahh, I wasn’t trying to badmouth you or anything! It just sorta came out of
my mouth!”

“What kind of cover-up is that?”

“‘Ahhh, he’s totally reading my thoughts’ — or something like that. That’s

what I meant.”

“Of course. We’ve been talking almost every day for a year now.”

“That’s why you were able to guess it so perfectly… Yeah, I haven’t been
able to sleep at all lately,” she sighed and put a hand on her cheek.

When she makes those kinds of expressions, she really looks like a beautiful,
grown-up onee-san. If only she were always like this.

“For now, sleep. And eat something, so that you’re fit enough to draw. I’ll
give you half a day more for the deadline.”

“Mhm, thank you.”

“Then I’ll be going.”

I won’t overstay my visit, since my classmates are the types of people to
quickly make up dumb rumours.

I stood up from my throne-like position, softly waved at her, and was about
to leave the student guidance room, but suddenly—

“—Ah, wait. There’s something else I want to talk about.”

“Something else? Did you do something other than not make it in time for the
deadline that you also have to apologize—”

“No! Can’t you trust me at least a little bit more?!”

“You have the nerve to say the word ‘trust’ with that mouth? — So, what is
it?”

“I’m talking about Tsukinomori Mashiro-chan.”

“…So that’s what this is about?”

“Yes. I’m not saying this as the illustrator of ‘5th Floor Alliance,’ but just as
a teacher. Oobohshi-kun, I heard that you’re her boyfriend—”

“That’s fake.”

“I thought so.”

When I immediately affirmed her suspicions, she believed me without a

doubt. On one hand, I’m happy that she trusts me, but on the other hand, not a
single one of these bastards actually believe that I could get a girlfriend.
“When I went to talk with President Tsukinomori, he forced her on me as a
condition to our agreement.”

“Ahhh, I see…” Sumire muttered, only to lower her head. “I’m sorry. You
have to deal with so much just for us…”

“Since it’s a WIN-WIN, you don’t have to apologize to me or thank me. I

won’t just forsake the everyone in the alliance like that. And as for Honey
Play, I just chose the best way for Ozu, you, and I to move forward. Since
you, a grown-up, can’t act like one anymore, it’s up to me.”

“That’s true, but still…”

“The one thing I hate the most is idleness. Especially the waste of talent. And
seeing you being forced to act as a teacher even though you clearly don’t
want to is something I can’t ignore. That’s why I’ll take whatever
unreasonable condition is dished out.”

“………”

Sumire looked me with an expression like she wanted to say something but
couldn’t.

—Well, I don’t want to dig any deeper here. Not meeting face to face, acting
like you didn’t see anything, and continuing to live your life gleefully. That’s
far better.

That’s all that’s important.

“We received orders from the school on how to treat that girl. To give her a
seat next to Ooboshi-kun, to keep her away from the problem children, and
other precautions… And in the middle of that information, something caught
my eye.”

“That she was a shut-in before transfering.”

“…So you knew. Do you know the reason, too?”

“No, I didn’t ask that. I don’t like digging deeper than people want me to.”

“I’ll tell you just in case,” Sumire brought her face closer. “That girl —
apparently she was bullied.”

I could guess as much. Though there might be several reasons for becoming a
shut-in, the choices were limited in this particular case. And being bullied
was the first thing that came to mind.

“A classmate leaked something like a secret of hers, and she was severely
criticised.”

“A secret?”

“We didn’t get any more details from those responsible.”

“Well, it makes sense when you take the feelings of the parents into account.”

I feel like I’m starting to understand why Oji-san chose me to be the fake
boyfriend. He didn’t want to create a situation where Mashiro didn’t have a
single ally in class. I may be a loner, but I’m still a boy who is able to shield
her from danger.

“Since that’s how it is, I’m asking you to look after her case, as well as the
case with Tsukinomori-san. So that you can continue to enjoy your current
student life.”

“…Fine.”

“Fufu, thank you. Ooboshi-san really is meddlesome.”

“That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”

“It totally is. After all, thanks to you, both Ozuma-kun and I are able to do
what we’re doing right now.”

“…My lunch break is going to end soon, so I’ll be going now.”

“Fufu, you’re being flustered.”

I heard the faint giggle of a female teacher who had regained her posture
from behind my back.

Thinking that I should end this on a good note, I turned back around and
showed her a bitter smile.

“I’m still not going to prolong your deadline any more, you know?”

“Tch.”

Hey.

「Although I thought that Sumire-sensei was quite the dangerous person, it

seems like she really thinks about her students too. She might say some crazy
things during math class, but she actually has the logic to back it up.」
「That’s some crazy praise there, Ozu. Then how about you become her
boyfriend so that I can get more illustrations from her?」

「No, even someone without any sense like me can’t do anything that toxic.
I’ll leave that to Aki.」

「…I’m also just a normal high school student, though?」

「Again with your jokes, ahahahaha.」

「Stop with the scary laugh!」

 C 5:
M F ’ L S I O B
T M

The bell rung, notifying the students that classes had ended for the day. There
were students who went home immediately when they were released from
school: The going-home club. There were also those who turned to their
respective club activities, as well as those who stayed late to study in the
library. And in the middle of all of these people, I looked at the Snow White
princess sitting next to me.

— I guess I’ll look after her. Since Oji-san even asked the homeroom
teacher, I have to help out as well. Though I’m sure that the she’ll cut in with
her poisonous tongue as soon as I finish a sentence…

“Hey—”

“Don’t act like my boyfriend.”

Rather than a sentence, she interrupted me after a single syllable. Do you

even plan on acting like a real girlfriend, Mashiro-san? Like, ever?

“Ohhh, this is that traditional performance art. If I remember correctly, it’s an

endangered species as of late. It’s called ‘tsundere,’ right?”
“Those are the type who hate acting close in front of others. It’s the art of
transience and imperfection, shown by a woman who displays the feminine
virtues of old Japan. It’s wonderful to look at.”

“This poisonous tongue is total wife material, don’t you think?”

The students who had stayed in the classroom were now discussing the
conversation that had just happened.

You guys. Just take a closer look and you’ll see immediately that our affinity
is at its lowest. It seems like even if Mashiro and I started fighting, they
would probably smile at the situation like an old couple watching a younger
couple fighting.

And, realizing that, Mashiro’s reaction to them was…

“U-Uhm… P-Please don’t look at Mashiro like that…”

Mashiro looked flustered, and her cheeks slightly went red. She ducked her
head like a turtle hiding in its shell, hurriedly gathered her belongings
together, and rushed out of the classroom. I could only look at her back, and
softly grumbled to myself.

“…That attitude is too different from what she shows towards me…”

Ozu had a bitter smile as he came over. “Ahahaha. She doesn’t seem like a
bad girl, though.”

“Rather than lovers, you couldn’t even count this as being friends. How can I
look after her like this?”
I felt like Ozu the protagonist would have been able to pull through somehow
if he were in my place. And now that I’ve taken on the role of being her fake
boyfriend, I can’t allow something like that to happen. Knowing Ozu,
Mashiro would have probably fallen for him in the process, and no doubt that
would have drawn Oji-san’s wrath.

“Is there no good method or anything? What should I do to make up with this
displeased queen?”

“Hmm. Now that her affection is this much in the negative, I wonder.”

Is a guy who always starts at maxed affection really allowed to say that?

“Well, it’s not like our current distance is really that much of a problem, but
—”

At this rate, I would like to avoid constantly sitting on pins and needles while
going through my student life. And that should be the same for Mashiro.

“…Well, that’s a problem for later. For now, let’s just go home. Are you
coming, Ozu?”

“Ah, sorry. The president asked me for something.”

“President? …Ahhh, that beautiful student council president? She really

seems to have taken quite the liking to you.”

“I’m just the guy who does odd jobs. You know how bad I am at refusing.”

“Really? That might’ve been the case up to middle school, but…”

“Anyway, that’s what it is. I can’t go home together today. Sorry.”

“Well, it can’t be helped. Work hard.”

Work hard on conquering the beautiful student council president route, of

course.

“Yeah, I will. At doing assorted random tasks.”

—This damned dense protagonist.

While thinking such thoughts, I sent Ozu off as he left me behind.

It seems like I have no one else to go home with, huh? Well, whatever. I’ll
just take a look at the app rankings as I leisurely stroll home.

With these thoughts, I wandered towards the shoe lockers, and I was in the
middle of changing into my outdoor shoes when…

“—Guha?!”

“Who~ is~ it~?”

Suddenly, something rammed into me from behind. Well, the identity of said
object was pretty obvious. There’s only one person who would assault me in
such a way while I’m minding my own business.

“This voice that hurts my eardrums as soon as I hear it. It can’t be anyone but
Iroha.”

“You’re exaggerating!” A loud high-pitched voice that resembled a bell.

By the way, I called it a bell because it keeps echoing inside my head.

Annoying.
Clinging to my back, Iroha’s warmth and her sweet aroma were both directly
transmitted to me. She doesn’t even use any perfume. Trying my best to
ignore my accelerating heartbeat, I calmly responded.

“What do you want? And let go already.”

“Since Senpai would probably turn into a loner as soon as school ended, this
cute Kouhai here thought that she would cheer you up~!”

“That’s none of your business. And how often do I have to tell you to let go?”

“Heeeh, so it’s fine if I let go?”

“…What are you implying?” I asked, feeling some sort of hidden meaning
behind Iroha’s words.

With a grin that seemed to congratulate me for noticing it, Iroha continued.

“You didn’t notice? This soft, jelly like—F-E-E-L-I-N-G~?”

“Ha? It’s probably just your breasts a—gain…?!”

“Ahaha, so you just noticed it, Senpai~?”

Shit, are you serious? No, that’s impossible.

I don’t know too much as I haven’t experienced it in person, but I still hear
rumours from time to time.

After reaching a certain age, girls are supposed to wear a bra. Both for their
own good and because of all the hidden wolves inside us men. That has
become the norm for society. And said bra should at least slightly lower the
soft feeling of a girl’s breasts. If they felt too soft, then the girl wasn’t
wearing a bra—

“Senpai~ Actually— I forgot to put on my underwear today. And right now,

the front of my shirt is completely unbuttoned.”

“S-Stop lying. I won’t fall for that. How would you even end up like that?” I
forced out these words with a dry throat.

After all, in the position we were in, there was no way for me to tell if
Iroha’s words were true.

“It seems like my breasts have been getting bigger again~ My shirt is so
tight~ So when I went to shift my position, boom, the buttons flew off~!”

“Wha— Don’t tell me…”

“Yes! The moment Senpai turns around, this will turn in a R-rated accident!!!
Yay!!”

This girl is saying this in the most carefree way possible.

“Hey, stop with the bad jokes already.”

“Ahahahahaha! I’m totally serious. I’m embarrassed, so I can’t let go, kyaa!”

“Don’t go talking in monotone now.”

Shit. Iroha knows that it would be bad if I had a girlfriend, so she’s trying to
close the gap between us in order to trouble me. Really, why does she hate
me like this?
—But she wouldn’t go so far as to push her naked breasts against my back,
right? This has got to be just another Iroha bluff. There will be absolutely no
problem at all even if I turn around. Yeah.

………………

…………

……But what about the one-in-a-million chance?

It’s true that her saying that her breasts were growing so much that her buttons
popped open sounds like a total lie. But, what if it’s true and I ignore it, and I
actually end up showing all the passing students her naked breasts or
something? That I still cannot do. It’s not that I really care what happens with
this annoying girl, but she’s my friend’s little sister. I can’t give Ozu grief by
letting his little sister be judged for public indecency.

But I can’t keep this position up for much longer. Right now, I’m officially
going out with Mashiro, so if people see this and make up strange rumours, it
won’t take long for Oji-san to catch wind of them, and that would probably
spell the end of our deal.

That is the one thing that I have to avoid at all costs.

“Fu fu fu, there’s nothing you can do anymore! Something like that~! If you
give up, I might be willing to let—”

“You’d better not regret this, okay?”

“——Eh?”
“While protecting your decency, I will protect my entire existence. With total
ease!!!”

“Eh, wha — wai, hyaa?!”

I slightly dropped my hips, put both of my hands on Iroha’s thighs, and

grabbed on. And in one fluid motion, I stood straight up. In response, Iroha
hurriedly put both her hands around my neck and started clinging to me.

—Like that, we had arrived at the “Piggyback Ride” position.

“S-Senpai, this is too embarrassing, so let me down! Let me down let me

down let me down!”

“It’s better than having your breasts seen, right? Or are you saying that it was
all just a lie?”

“Muuu…! Y-You…!”

Iroha ground her teeth together, seemingly conflicted for a moment, but
finally…

“I-Is it really fine, something like this? If someone sees us like this, people
will think that we’re a flirty, lovey-dovey couple, right?”

“That’s not a problem.”

“Eh, hyaaaaaaa?!”

With Iroha on my back, I started running through the entrance and around the
back of the thicket, moving forward steadily.
“Wai—Hey hey, are you serious?! No hesitation at all?! What’s with this
confident march?!”

“We’re just going home on the route where the least amount of people will
spot us. There’s a perfect route.”

“Haaa?! Why do you have it all planned out like this?!”

“What are you saying? Of course I don’t have it planned out. I’m a man who
likes to live efficiently, you know?”

In order to find the efficient way to do something, trying out all sorts of
different ways is the most basic of basics. I was mentally tracing out all the
different routes from home to school, no, to the classroom. From all of those,
I just have to take the one with the least travel time, and with the lowest
amount of passing students at this time of day.

“It’s occurred to me before, but Senpai totally isn’t just a normal high school
student, is he?”

“No, I’m totally normal.”

“Lies! As if there would be a normal high school student like

thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis!”

“If you don’t want to be found, keep your voice down, idiot. Hold on tight if
you don’t want to slip down.”

In the middle of my high-speed acceleration, I said this to try to keep her

mouth shut in case she wanted to voice more complaints.
Iroha’s body is surprisingly light. Even though she’s constantly eating and
sleeping, she sure doesn’t lose her slim style. I wonder if I could find a
correlation if I researched the lightness of her body compared to the
emptiness of her head… No, probably not.

“~~~~~~~~~!!! ——?!”

“Hmm? Did you say something?”

“~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!! ————?!”

I can’t hear it.

Because I was busy trying to anticipate where the people in front of me
would look, and because I was running at full speed, Iroha’s words were lost
to the wind, where they disappeared without reaching my ears.

“I… I give up, okay!!! So please let me down please!!!”

Maybe realizing that I hadn’t understood what she said, she finally gave up
after we exited the back entrance of the school at a corner of the street.
Separating her arms from my neck, Iroha started hitting me repeatedly on the
back with tears in her eyes. In response, I turned my head around and looked
at her.

“Before you give up, isn’t there something else that you should be saying?”

“Guh… I-I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for~”

“I-I’m sorry for lying and saying that I opened up my shirt and pressed my
nude breasts against your back… I’m sorry.”

“Isn’t there something else that you should also be apologizing for?”

“I-I’m sorry for lying and making trouble for Senpai!!!”

“Wonderful~”

Satisfied, I released my arms from her thighs. And with that, she perfectly
handed on the ground on her butt.

“Hyaa?! Uuu~ So cruel…”

“Compared to all the trouble you make for me, this is quite the kind
punishment, don’t you think?”

“Were you never taught to be kind to girls?! You won’t get popular like
that!!!”

“I was never taught to be kind to idiots, and I don’t plan on becoming popular
either.”

“Muu…!”

When I turned around, I found Iroha, lying on her back, pouting. Of course,
just as she had admitted, her uniform’s blouse was properly buttoned up like
it should be. Though I’m happy that she didn’t have a wardrobe malfunction,
her skirt was crumpled up as she lay on the ground, with her healthy thighs in
plain sight. I quickly averted my eyes.

—For crying out loud, this annoying girl has the nerve to make me conscious
of her. You’re totally not aware of how erotic you look.

“Uuuu, that was embarrassing. Getting a piggyback ride at this age~~~!!! So

shameful~~~!!!”

“So you actually have a general understanding of what embarrassment means,

huh? Now that’s some useful information.”

“Geh.”

I’ve been caught… Said Iroha’s face, and her cheeks turned red.

“You go on the aggressive so often, but you’re surprisingly weak to

counterattacks—”
“N-No, it’s not like—”

“—To think that treating you like a kid would be this effective. Ohhh, ish
okay, ish okay. Papa ish here~”

“Stop!!! I’ll cry! I’ll really cry!”

“Iroha-chan is such a crybaby, ahaha~”

“Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooppppppppppppppp!!!!!”

Iroha held her head in her hands and screamed. She looked like she was
about to faint in agony.

Ohhh, it’s working.

“My mother was always unable to let go of us, and she still treated us like
kids even when we entered high school… and it had to be Senpai who found
out about it…”

“It seems that you’ve finally learned to stop underestimating me.”

“Grr… Y-You’d better remember this! I might have lost this time around, but
I’ll definitely have you in the palm of my hand next time, okay?!”

“Yeah, whenever you’re ready. It’s an easy win once I have your habits and
my countermeasures down.”

Playing along is one thing, but what kind of ‘next time’ is she talking about?
Well, not that it matters.
Iroha got up from her seated position and started grumbling with a displeased
expression on her face.

“Ahhhh, I lost. Even though I decided to go on the offensive by pulling a no-

bra.”

“Heh. I knew that you were bluffing from the very start and… What did you
just say?”

“Hmm? I lost?”

“A bit later.”

“On the offensive?”

“—Whatever, I did hear it after all. I just wanted to escape reality for a bit.”

“Hm?”

Trying to escape from Iroha’s puzzled gaze as she stared at me in confusion, I

quickly turned my back to her.

My heart is beating like crazy again.

—A no-bra is unfair.

I mean, it makes sense, since I felt their softness directly. At the very least, it
had to be a no-bra. I felt like naked breasts would be taking it a bit too far,
but—

To think that she would press them against me like that. I totally
underestimated the girl named Kohinata Iroha. Would she go this far just to
tease me?

…No, thinking rationally, that makes no sense. Would she really do

something like that? Then… don’t tell me, she actually—

Are her feelings much stronger than I had anticipated? …She really hates me
this much?

She would only do something like this to me. She had decided to use her
womanly weapons to try to tease me. Though I don’t understand what would
force her to go this far, the fact that she completely hates me is without
question. If you ignored just how annoying she was, you could actually
misconstrue this as a sign of her affection… Mhm.

“Iroha, you’re pretty amazing.”

“What are you talking about?”

While Iroha looked at me in confusion, I couldn’t help but admire this one
part of her.

The piggyback ride had ended, and I was currently on the way back to my
condominium with Iroha in tow. I remembered something and called out to
Iroha, who still had her arms crossed. She was probably still sulking.

“Hey, I have a favour to ask of you.”

“Oh, what is it, Virgin-senpai? This nice Iroha-oneesan will listen to

whatever you have to say.”
“It seems like you need a lecture from Papa again.”

“Ahhhh!!! Please stop that already!”

Yep. That’s pretty effective, isn’t it?

Iroha started to throw a tantrum again, but she probably realized that I was
going to say something serious, so she calmed down shortly afterwards.

“…So what is it?”

“There’s something that I need to ask of the girl who’s always annoying me in
every possible way.”

“Ahaaa, now that’s quite the rude way to ask a favour, isn’t it?”

“—What do you think I should do to make up with an annoying girl?”

“…………Huh?”

Time stopped.

Iroha froze in place, as if she didn’t know what she had just been asked.
After a long pause, she finally opened her mouth.

“Eh? What is it, Senpai? Did you fall in love with a girl or something?”

Her voice was shaking like she was the president of the U.S. and the world
had just been invaded by aliens. Not to mention that her whole face had
turned white.

Listen, even if you make that kind of face, is it really that bad for me to find
someone I like? Well, I don’t have anyone in my life like that anyway, so who
cares?

“It’s not that, you see—”

I started explaining the circumstances. How I had been working for the sake
of everyone from the ‘5th Floor Alliance.’ About my important mission I had
received from President Tsukinomori. About the fact that I had to act as the
fake boyfriend of Tsukinomori Mashiro. About the fact that she had a lot of
trouble before she transferred, and how Sumire had asked me to look after
her. About how I had been thinking if it really was fine to keep our current
relationship like this, and if it would only ruin Mashiro’s high school student
life even more.

—Yeah, I think I did a great job explaining the situation.

Iroha seemed to be a bit perplexed at the start, but the longer I explained, the
more her face turned into one of understanding.

“Ahhh, okay, okay. Senpai really likes to meddle, doesn’t he?”

“It’s just for my own good, you know?”

“Mashiro-san, was it? There shouldn’t be any need to act all friendly with
her, right?”

“You’re not wrong about that, but I don’t want her to end up all alone, you
know? It’s really just for the sake of my ego.”

“But this meddlesomeness is also one of Senpai’s good traits,” Iroha let out a
giggle.

Maybe she was reminiscing back to that particular time.

“Anyway, I have no clue how to make up with her. Even if I wanted to, she’s
completely cold to me.”

“Your first meeting left the worst possible impression, after all~ To think that
you would assault her in the toilet, hehehe~”

“I really feel sorry about that, you know…”

“It figures~~~ You’d better reflect on that, haha.”

She says, but she shows no intention of actually blaming me. That’s just who
she is. She’s always annoying me, and she really is an annoying girl, but she
never criticizes or blames me. Even when I was explaining the toilet
incident, she was just laughing the whole time. And I certainly don’t hate that
part about her. She’s really easy to talk to, after all, and even though she’d be
perfect if she weren’t so annoying, sometimes I feel she’s a godsend.

“Hmmm, a closed-off beautiful tsundere with a poisonous tongue. Well, she’d

be standard fare in an eroge, that’s for sure…”

“Why are you talking about eroge? She’s just a normal high school girl.”

“It’s fine. There are some eroge that are made for all ages, you know. Eroge
don’t always have to be R-18.”

“Memes are contaminating the world…”

“The progress of civilization is something wonderful, isn’t it~?” Iroha let out
a gleeful laugh. “—Well, just leave it to me.” She puffed out her no-bra chest.
“Since Senpai doesn’t understand a young maiden’s heart, I will teach you
the way to capture Mashiro-san~”
「So her breasts were almost directly hitting you. Should I just beat you up
right now?」

「Y-You’re wrong, Ozu. It’s not like I did anything weird to her…」

「Ah, that’s totally fine. Her life belongs to her, after all, and I’m not a
siscon.」

「T-Then, why do I feel this dark aura emanating from across the
phone…?」

「Well, now that you’ve arrived at this stage, I believe that your ‘I’m not
popular’ claim is taking it a bit too far. I’ll just act on behalf on the grudges
of all the unpopular people in the world, and take it upon myself to smash up
this normie here.」

「Just whose feelings do you think you can act on here, you damned
protagonist…?」
 C 6:
I’ O A T O - ’
D

Starting on the morning of the following day, I became Mashiro’s love

servant. Like I had a collar around my neck, I waited beside the school gate
every morning for Mashiro to arrive. Every day, I skillfully reached out to
take the bookbag she was carrying when she finally arrived. I freed
Mashiro’s lovable hand from this burden she was carrying. I simply wanted
her to enjoy her commute to school.

“…………”

Mashiro for her part was probably overflowing with emotion because of my
actions, since she always remained silent until we entered the classroom.

Once it was time for lunch, I went to the school store to buy a supply of three
rice balls. I prepared one by pouring tea over it, and served it to her together
with the tea. After thoroughly investigating her, I found out that this was one
of her favourites.

“…………”

When the chime rang to notify us that classes had ended, I went over to kneel
before Mashiro’s seat and presented my back to her. Like that, her personal
human-powered taxi service was complete.

“…………”

Apparently, my dedication as a love servant moved even this poisonous

snow queen so much that she remained silent, her thin arms softly shaking.

“…H-Hey…! Come… Here…!”

“Yes, my queen.”

Mashiro grabbed me by the nape of my neck and dragged me into the

hallway. She led me into an empty storage room, pushed me against the wall,
and—

“—You’re annoying. Is this some kind of harassment?”

She was furious.

Her tone of voice was rather calm and composed, but I could feel the
coldness and rage in the depths of her voice.

“It figures~”

“Why are you saying that like it’s none of your business? Aki, you’re actually
being pretty annoying today.”

“I mean, I also think that I might be going too far.”

“Huh? How about you die, then?”

“That’s a bit sharp don’t you think? Mashiro-san, I would like it if you would
listen to my words from time to time.”
Actually, there was a reason for my thorough hospitality. Changing into a
prisoner of love, and turning things around — that was the plan, 100%
conceived by Kohinata Iroha, in order to win against Tsukinomori Mashiro.

If you think about it rationally, calling it ‘annoying’ might be an

understatement. But if I were to only do half-heartedly, I wouldn’t be able to
judge if there was any effect or not. So I had no other choice but to conduct
this operation in the most efficient way possible: Giving it all my strength.

…Or that’s what I thought, but even I realized midway through that this
wasn’t going to work. If a boy you didn’t feel anything for did something like
this, you’d probably call it ‘stalking.’ And what does ‘love servant’ even
mean, anyway?

Well, my only saving grace is that the guys from my class will completely
disregard any weird actions of mine, and probably just call it ‘lovey-dovey
flirting.’

Are they under mass hypnosis or something? It feels like I’m in a world
where rational thinking doesn’t exist.

—And Mashiro, who now understood the circumstances, seemed like she
softened her gaze a bit as she looked up at me, her eyes filled with a sliver of
mercy. She spoke tenderly.

“…Are you an idiot?”

“This time, I have nothing to say in return…”

Damn it, I shouldn’t have asked Iroha for help. This makes me remember the
shit-eating grin on her face.
“Listen, Senpai. To make up with a girl, the most effective trick is to be
kind to her!”

“…Is that really all?”

“Of course that’s only the first step. You should know that girls are rather
simple-minded! Just by being kind, you’ll remain in their heads all night,
making them unable to sleep~…Not that I would know how that feels,
though!”

“So you don’t…?”

“After all, I’m still the first love version~ But something like this should
work!”

“That seems pretty lax…”

“Now now now. Just think of it as being deceived, and do as I tell you~!”

—Yep, I had been deceived.

Garments, words, and even actions; I did everything exactly as Iroha told me,
and this was the result. Just what I would expect from her. She really is a
genius at being a complete bother. I know that I’m also at fault here for being
deceived so easily, but she’s really quite skillful.

“Sit. Seiza.”

“…Yes.”

I was forced to sit down on the cold floor, which was at a similar
temperature as the relationship between Mashiro and I. I was glared at from
above with an equally cold gaze. Though some people in our class would
call this a ‘reward,’ for someone like me who has absolutely normal tastes
and preferences, it was pure agony.

“Why would you suddenly do something like that? Are you just trying to
annoy Mashiro? Do you hate her that much?

“No, you’re wrong. It’s just… how do I say it…”

“What?”

While I was having trouble finding the right words, Mashiro’s mood soured
even more.

—Now what do I do? How do I explain this?

I don’t want to blame Iroha. I mean, I knew that her idea probably wouldn’t
work, but I still did as I was told, so it’s my responsibility. I was the one
who made her uncomfortable, so I’m the only one to blame here. And
mentioning Iroha’s name here is something I wanted to avoid as well.

—So how should I explain this…

While I was pondering what to do—

“Woaaaah, I spotted a lovey-dovey couple after school~ Are you gonna kiss?
You’re gonna kiss, right?”

Speak of the devil. The door opened, and an annoying voice filled the room
and my head. When I lifted my head to check, I was greeted by a girl looking
down at me, with big breasts like jelly and bright golden-yellow hair.
“…Iroha, you! Did you come here to be a nuisance again?”

“As the super idol Iroha-sama, I thought that I had to see the results for
myself, ehehehe~”

“Please take a good look, you idiot.”

“Ahahahahaha! Senpai’s sitting on the ground in seiza! Isn’t this the perfect
punishment for defeating meeee? Hehehe~”

You damned brat. Don’t laugh like it’s none of your business. You’d better
remember this. Because you’ll soon be begging for forgiveness with your
face ruined by your pitiful tears.

“…What’s up… with this girl…?”

Mashiro dubiously narrowed her eyes.

“Hellooooo~ I’m the person who thought of this plan to use against Mashiro-
paisen~”[4]

“Hey, what are you doing?!” I tried to stop her.

“Now, now, isn’t it fine? It’s the truth after all~”

You’re not wrong about that, but still.

Though I didn’t plan on making Iroha shoulder the burden, she revealed it
herself, so I can’t help it I guess.

“Annoying. Leaving Mashiro alone, what did you… wait, huh? This girl…”

For a second, Mashiro only stared at Iroha’s face. And—

“Hmph, is that so. Is that so. Mashiro completely understands it now,” She
said flatly, with no emotion in her voice at all.

I suddenly realized that her bad mood had reached the breaking point, but
before I could say anything—

Tap Tap Tap

Her indoor shoes tapped against the ground as Mashiro walked towards the
door.

“Mashiro is going home.”

“H-Hey wait a second? What’s wrong all of a sudden—”

“A cute kouhai you’re close with. That’s what this girl is, right?”

“No, we’re not close at all, and she’s not cute, either. She just likes to tease
me and is annoying all the time.”

“Alright, you flirty couple.”

“Ehhh?!”

“Since the two of you are so close, you came to laugh at Mashiro, right? Go
die together, Romeo and Juliet.”

Spitting out these words, Mashiro walked away. As I watched her back grow
distant, I felt that rather than a thick wall of ice, there was now a sheer cliff
of a glacier between us.

“…………”
“Oopsy daisy… I made her hate you even more,” Iroha stated
unapologetically as she walked next to me.

“Whose fault do you think this is?”

“Hm, I’d say that it’s at least 80% Senpai’s.”

“Don’t piss me off with precise math here.”

But I had to agree with her.

The one who Mashiro hates is me, the one who asked for Iroha’s help was
also me, and the one who followed the plan was also me. The only thing you
could blame her for was the plan that she had come up with.

“So what are you going to do now?”

“The same thing as before… but that’s no longer an option, I guess.”

I had no idea how to get out of this tricky situation, so I could only let out a
sigh of defeat.

“Anyways, the next time we’ll meet is tomorrow. I’ll just have to think of
something I can do before then, I guess.”

“Alllllllllllllllriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight, a newwwwwww large-

sizeeeeeed TV!!!! You all had better be motivated!”

“Sir, yes sir!!!”

The flat that I’m currently living in is set up for living alone efficiently.
During my time in middle school, my parents had to go overseas, so I found a
flat where I wouldn’t trouble my parents too much with the rent. And in order
to deter intruders, I chose the most secure floor: The 5th, or uppermost, floor.
My room number is 502. The only reason I didn’t choose room 501 was
because it was adjacent to a nearby building, which would be a potential
security flaw that intruders could exploit. But in all the three years I had been
living here, I had never seen anybody coming in from next door, so I guess
that was a bit too paranoid of me.

Anyway, because I chose this room, I became acquainted with the Kohinata
household from next door; room 503. I even met Murasaki Shikibu-sensei,
also known as Sumire-sensei, from room 504. Ironically, we had ended
forming the basis for the ‘5th Floor Alliance’ together. However, we had
completely forgotten about one possibility.

“Neeeeeeeeeeeeeext iiiiiis a bookshelf! You aren’t that clever at all!!!”

“Sir, yes sir!”

About the fact that someday, somebody might move into that empty room.
Was that even possible?

When I arrived at the flat after coming home from school, I was surprised to
find a truck from a moving company there, and when I went up the elevator, I
met up with the girl who had been sitting next to me in school just a few
minutes ago.

“………”

“………”
Both of us kept quiet. After all, neither of us knew how we should start the
conversation. And the first words that unwillingly came out of my mouth
were what I felt from the bottom of my heart.

“…Hey, there’s no way this is real.”

“Wow, what a coincidence~! Hello there once again~!”

Iroha, who had been trotting after me on the way home from school, poked
her head out from behind my shoulder and gave a cheerful greeting.
Completely ignoring all the tension and what had just happened a few
minutes earlier. This girl really is something else.

Still, this should be impossible. The corner room, number 501. The one
watching the movers working to bring furniture and whatnot into the room
was none other than Tsukinomori Mashiro!

With the largest frown ever on her face.

“Eh, what, you’re a stalker?”

“No, I live here.”

“As if Mashiro would believe that flimsy excuse.”

“By the way, I also live here!”

“Huh?”

Suddenly, Iroha stepped in front of me, put her hands on her head to simulate
rabbit ears, flapped with them, and said those words to Mashiro, to which
her face clearly twitched.
“Mashiro has been wondering for a while, but what are you to Aki?”

“His biological younger sister!”

“Eh, Aki, you had a little sister?”

“Since I’m his friend’s little sister, I am also his little sister, or in short his
biological little sister, so I thought that I would introduce myself as such!”

“Are you an idiot?”

“Uwaaa, so sharp! Mashiro-paisen, comparing it to Senpai, your verbal

attack power is quite excellent! What did you have to eat for such poisonous
things to be able to come out of your mouth? I’m totally guessing Kaentake,
though you would probably die after eating those!”[5]

“…W-What is this…? This girl… is so annoying…”

Despite the cold response, my friend’s little sister, Iroha, continued to tap on
Mashiro’s shoulder, acting friendly. Watching from the sidelines, I once more
had to realize how amazing she is. Are you the personification of a party-
goer or something? How can you be so rude to a person you’ve barely met?

“Hey, Iroha, will you stop it already? And also, why are you acting just like
you would with me? You act totally normal at school, right?”

“I’m the type of person to choose the time and place, you know. I just wanted
Mashiro-san to understand what kind of position I have here~! This is the
perfect way to trouble Senpai!!!”

—Can you be any more insane than this?

Seeing her only give a thumbs-up and grin in response, I turned towards
Mashiro and lowered my head.

“I’m sorry for my annoying Kouhai.”

“…Don’t worry. It’s her fault that she’s so annoying, after all.”

She hurriedly averted her face while she answered, so she probably wanted
to say that it was still troublesome. And, while looking at me out of the
corner of her eye, she continued.

“You’re her friend’s little sister, so you’re unrelated, right? You’re living
together with someone like that. Are you a couple?”

“Eh…? Ahhh, I see, that’s where you’re hung up.”

Since I wasn’t used to explaining the circumstances to anyone beside the

people living here, I had completely forgotten. I guess anyone would react
the same way, considering how we had just explained it.

“No, it’s not like that. I live in room 502—”

“And I live in 503~!”

“……Eh?”

“By the way, Ozu — that classmate I often talk with — also lives here. He’s
the older brother of this thing.”

“Ahahahahaha! Calling me ‘this thing’ is pretty cruel, you know~! There’s no

need to be embarrassed; just call me ‘Iroha’ like usual~”
“Eh… Ehhhh…?”

In the middle of Iroha’s useless response, question marks were appearing on

top of Mashiro’s head. With faltering steps, she walked past us and checked
the signs in front of the rooms.

“Ooboshi… Kohinata… I-It’s true…”

“By the way, the person living in room 504 is actually Sumire-sensei.”

“W-Why is everyone gathered here…?”

“It’s a total coincidence, as absurd as it may sound.”

“Ehhh…”

She’s making an expression of complete distrust. But it’s not like I don’t
understand where she’s coming from. I probably would’ve had the same
expression if I was told that everyone I knew from school would be living in
the same place.

“Huh?”

Her face returned to a more serious expression, and she started muttering
something to herself in a quiet voice.

“So maybe… ‘5th Floor Alliance’… no, wait…”

“What are you whispering to yourself about?”

“………”
Without answering my question, Mashiro continued to think about something
while making a face like a researcher. Though I didn’t know what exactly that
expression she was wearing meant, her cheeks were slightly flushed for some
reason. Finally, she turned around and pointed her finger at me, and then at
Iroha.

“Aki is… annoying. Kohinata… san is also annoying. Everyone in this

environment is annoying.”

Like she wanted to deny us any chance to respond, she turned her back to us.

“Don’t get too familiar with Mashiro. Even if we are neighbours.”

“Hey, how about we try to be a bit more friendly with each other? That way,
everything that comes after this will be easier for us… Guho?!”

“Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeext is the refrigeratoooooooooooooor! You all, you better

work hard!!!”

“Sir, yes sir!”

As Mashiro was about to walk back into her new domain, I went to chase
after her, only to bump into a wall of muscle. As I was swallowed up in the
oncoming sea, Mashiro’s back disappeared further and further into the
distance.

“Shit, she has the nerve to use the movers to her advantage.”

“Those excellently motivated Shironeko boys are getting me excited~!

According to Iroha-san’s research, around 90% of the Shironeko boys are
muscle fetishists, and they’re searching for fresh meat with the thin bodies of
the neighbourhood~”

“I didn’t need that kind of knowledge…”

“I’m sure that if Senpai were to strip, you might even become their target~!”

“Can you stop talking like you know how I look when I’m naked?”

“It’s because I do know. How often have you come back from the bath with
just your underwear? Though you immediately closed the door, that one
millisecond was enough for me to engrave the sight into my brain. I’m a
genius at grasping Sensei’s weaknesses, after all!”

“Show me your brain immediately. It seems like I have to cut the power
supply.”

“Isn’t your idea too much like ryona?!”[6]

“Whose fault do you think it is that I’ve awakened to that?” I asked. “And
also, stop invading my room when I’m in the bath. Are you a stray cat or
something?”

What if she hears me humming in the bath?

“Isn’t it fine? Your body isn’t something that you should be embarrassed
about. You even have abs.”

“Only a bit. But weight training a bit every day is pretty normal. It’s nothing
compared to what pro wrestlers or the people from the rugby club do.”

“I think Senpai’s definition of ‘normal’ is completely wrong.”

Muscle training is a part of my daily routine. The time you waste while being
hurt or sick is no laughing matter. To make sure that I use my resources most
efficiently, I made up a rather healthy exercise regime for myself. This was
after long and meticulous research on the subject through both the internet and
several books. Ever since then, I’ve been doing muscle training every day.
It’s not like I’m using those protein drinks or hitting the gym, but with a small
amount daily training, I’ve arrived at this physical condition. It’s probably
only a bit more muscular than a normal person’s.

“Well, that’s not really important right now. The most crucial problem right
now is—”

“That Mashiro-san ran away?” Iroha asked.

“No, that much is fine. About that, it was checkmate the moment she came to
this fifth floor.” I showed Iroha a confident grin.

Seeing that, Iroha’s eyes went round.

“Ohh, Senpai’s in serious mode. It’s been a while.”

“I’m just as serious as when I purged Murasaki Shikibu-sensei a while ago.

She had a shameful ahegao while crawling on the floor…”

“D-Devil…”

“Say what you want. I won’t let Mashiro get away.”

I made a fist with my hand while letting out a laugh.

When we were sitting next to each other in the classroom, there were limits.
Even if I was told to look after her by our homeroom teacher, even if I was
told to become her fake boyfriend by President Tsukinomori, I didn’t have
any measures to deal with Mashiro’s real loneliness. However, now she’s in
my domain. She can go and curse her misfortune for closing the distance
between us this much.

“I’ll show you some real meddlesomeness.”

“Laaaaaaaaaaaaast!!! The bed doesn’t fit into the elevator!! We’re going in
through the windoooooows!!!”

“Sir, yes sir!!!”

While the moving workers were screaming at the top of their lungs, I had a
calm, hidden smile on my face.

Since she had just stepped out of her castle, only to become all alone, she
needed narrow-minded yet joyful people around her. Those people would be
necessary to cure that poisonous tongue of hers. I don’t care if she thinks that
it’s a bother, and I’m not going to consider her feelings one bit.

If she really wished to be all alone—

Then she wouldn’t have decided to go to school again after being bullied.
Not to mention that she even moved away from her own safe place. She’s
trying to restart her life in her own way. She’s trying to have a fun and
enjoyable school life. Otherwise her actions wouldn’t make any sense.

That’s why there’s only one thing for me to do.

In the most efficient way possible, while aiming for the best possible
outcome, calculate my way forward with everything at my disposal.
「…And just like that, my fake girlfriend moved in next door.」

「After one day, she’s already moved into Aki’s harem castle… Well,
whatever interesting and bothersome battle ensues, I’ll certainly have fun
watching it!」
 C 7:
O I ,O ,S , IA
A T M

“Congratulations on the update with the new character and the new
scenario!!! Does everyone have their drinks ready?!”

“Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers!!!”

The sound of glasses clinking together could be heard.

It was Friday evening. There were four people, myself included, having a
party in my apartment room. On the six-person desk that I had bought
especially for guests was delivery pizza, homemade roast beef, special
japanese sake, 20-year-old whisky, and oolong tea bottles. You could call
this heaven on earth. Inside the refrigerator was even a cake made at a french
patisserie that Sumire-sensei had gotten as a present from a friend.

This week’s theme was… a party for having survived another week.
Kageishi Sumire let out a satisfied sigh as she took a sip from the first glass
of whisky mixed with some cola.

“Puwaaaaa~~~ The first sip after having survived another deadline really is
the best.”

“You really made me anxious, for crying out loud.”

I turned towards Sumire, who had just barely finished the illustrations I had
asked her for after working on them all night. The bags that were under her
eyes were evidence of her all-nighter.

By the way, I’m using polite language now. I know that I may have seemed
cold-hearted earlier when I cornered her in the student guidance office, but
she’s still older than me, so I try to keep my speech towards her polite when I
can. Of course, I’m certainly not going to hold back if she gives me a reason
not to.

“Sumire-chan-sensei, you reek of alcohol! How much did you even drink
before this~?”

“Ehh, I don’t remember~! Iroha-chan, do you remember how many bottles

you’ve drunk so far in your life?”

“Ahahaha! It would be bad if I could~! Unlike you, I’m still a minor, a mi-no-
r~!”

“Heeey! I’m still in my twenties!!! Don’t treat me like an old lady!”

“I know, I know… Oh, your glass is empty. What would you like next?”

“Vodka!”

Iroha skillfully filled up the empty glass that Sumire held up. Like that, Iroha
continued her perfect-Kouhai act.

“Mhm… this roast beef really is delicious. Aki was the one who made it,
right?”
“Yeah, I read online how to cook it in a rice cooker. Though it was the first
time I’d tried it, it was pretty easy.”

“You really are crazy when it comes to housework. This might be even better
roast beef than what most stores sell, don’t you think?”

“You’re just unable to discern good from bad. You’re being pretty rude
towards real chefs.”

While watching Iroha and Sumire, schoolgirl and 25-year old, talking about
alcohol and whatnot, Ozu and I were eating some rice. Even though it was
some cheap meat from a nearby supermarket, Ozu seemed to be thoroughly
enjoying it. He really knows how to flatter people.

“Nnn… It’s really delicious. The person who marries Aki will be quite
fortunate… I leave my little sister in your care, okay?”

“Forget it. If I spent years with an annoying girl like her, my lifespan would
shorten.”

“What a shame. If she got together with such a multi-talented guy like you,
her big brother could relax.”

“Though I feel like I’ve said this before, I don’t wanna be told that by Ozu. If
it were any other programmer, we wouldn’t have made it in time at all.”

“The illustrations really cut it close, after all. I had to directly extract the
data from Sensei’s computer right after she finished colouring. She really
pushes right up against the deadlines every single time.”

“Just what kind of program did you use to achieve that…?”

“I just thought that something like this would be useful, so I implemented it a
while ago.”

“You make it sound so easy…”

I could only sigh, once more realizing that this guy here was a genius through
and through. He can read and write binary as easily as a native Japanese
speaker can read Japanese. Ever since he was born, he had been gifted in
anything that involved calculations. For example, in grade school, he always
received overwhelmingly high scores in math competitions.

“But my skills are only at this level.”

“You’re as humble as always. Even though the amount of people who could
measure up to your skill are scarce in number.”

“Maybe. But not having any other experiences in life makes me nothing more
than a ‘Sicko’.”

“…………”

“It’s exactly because Aki looked out for me before that I can have fun with
everyone else here and enjoy this delicious ginger ale. From my point of
view, Aki is even more special.”

“I don’t like talking about the past.”

“Aki is just as shy as always,” Ozu let out a giggle as he took a sip from his
glass.

I didn’t want to think about Ozu’s past, and I wasn’t planning on digging it up
either. His circumstances were simply that he was a genius, unable to fit into
the small vessel of society called school, and I reached out a helping hand.
That’s all there was to it.

“That reminds me. What about Makigai-sensei?”

“He couldn’t participate this week. The deadline for his new novel is close, I
heard,” I took out my smartphone and showed him the chat with the person
called ‘Makigai Namako’.

Along with me, the director, the programmer Ozu, the illustrator Sumire, he
was also an important, not-to-be-forgotten member of the “Fifth Floor
Alliance.” Because of this foreign supporter, even a no-name group like us
had received an amazing amount of popularity. Well, rather than foreign, he
was still a genuine Japanese person, but it felt like he was a foreigner.

Makigai Namako.

After winning the grand prize at a newcomer writer’s competition at UZA

Publishing three years ago, his series became a great hit and had over three
million sales. This had earned him the reputation of a super-popular up-and-
coming light novel writer.

His writing style was filled with sarcasm and satire, and he always looked at
things with a combination of rational thinking and societal insight. The books
took a thrilling new approach to literary style and the value of the
protagonist’s point of view. Not to mention that they became such a big hit
that they received media mix offers, and anime and manga were rumored to
be coming soon, but he continues to deny that—

He’s a literary master within today’s literary masters, and his identity is still
unknown. Even I became a fan after reading his characters and writing style.
Since I didn’t have anything to lose, I had sent him a message in the form of a
fan letter via his editorial department, asking for a scenario and his contact
information. To my surprise, he actually showed interest.

Even now, he’s still a valuable member of the “Fifth Floor Alliance.” Though
I’ve never met him in person, his voice over the phone sounds like a friendly,
open-hearted Onii-san.

“Weird. It’s rare for Makigai-sensei to not be able to participate because of

his deadline.”

“Ahhh, you’re right about that. You can always hear him typing on his
keyboard when he’s talking over voice chat.”

“Maybe he has some other things to take care of. Like his girlfriend visiting
him.”

“He’s the type of person who’d join the voice call even with his girlfriend
around… Well, I’m sure that he has a lot on his plate, since he’s a functioning
member of society and all.”

“Whaat, did I just hear somebody mocking me~? I’ll cry, I’ll really cry~”

Of course, the person who reacted to those words was Sumire, still sipping
on her glass. Rather than a “Functioning member of society,” she was very
much a “Non-functioning member of society.”

“We’re talking about Makigai-sensei… And don’t come any closer! You reek
of alcohol! It’s way too early in the day to get wasted like this!”
“Ahhh, Sensei has started to feel good. Akiteru-samaa, entertain me with
your body~”

“Leave me alone, you lecherous teacher. I don’t care if you get discharged
from your job… Hey, Iroha, what did you make her drink?!”

“It wasn’t me, I swear. She just suddenly took the bottle. I guess she’s had
around ten sake cups.”

“Seriously…? Even a Russian wouldn’t be able to withstand that.”

“To chase it all down, she even drank some of this. Isn’t this pretty bad?”

Saying that, she brought out another bottle filled with a transparent fluid —
Wait second, isn’t that—

“Isn’t that Shōchū?”[7]

“Ahhhh, the whole world is turning~ Akiteru-sama looks like a little shota to
me now~”

“Don’t just describe your hallucinations to me! And don’t drag me into this!”

“Ahhh, I can’t hold myself back from pushing you down any longer! It’s so
exciting! Tsundere shotas are the best!” said Sumire, acting like a cat with a
red face.

Question: Why am I not in the slightest bit happy that a beautiful teacher like
her is coming at me with water dripping from her mouth?

Answer: It’s because the smell of alcohol is stronger than those of her
pheromones.
There might be cases of men doing horrible things to drunk women, but
stories of such instances only completely confused me. Who in their right
mind would want to involve themselves with a woman like her in this
situation? I might feel a little drawn in by her soft skin or her voluptuous
breasts, but anything beyond that and I’m out. And not to mention, this woman
—

“Mmmm, shotas are nice and all, but something’s lacking~ Ahh, over there!
There’s another shota.”

“Eh, me?”

Ozu suddenly raised his voice when Sumire pointed at him. That reaction to
being called a shota was totally understandable for a boy with his tall stature.

“Yes! You look like a kind, prince-like shota! Come here, come here~”

“I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me with that though…”

“Hey Ozu, you idiot! Don’t come over here! You’ll get tangled up—”

—in this mess!!! is what I wanted to say.

Sumire-sensei grabbed Ozu’s arm with one hand, grabbed my head with the
other, and stuffed my head into his chest.

“Yeah, that’s it! The normally devilish Akiteru-sama shota is being spoiled
by the prince-like Ozuma-kun shota!”

After pushing us together with raw strength, Sumire-sensei took out her phone
and started taking photos.
“Ohhhh, Ozu X Aki!!! Sumire-chan-sensei, are you a genius?”

“Iroha-chan also gets it?! The value of this scene!! Ahhh I can’t get enough!!
Get me some more alcohol!!!”

The two of them actually had the nerve to get excited over this.

—Yes, this is just how much of a pain a drunk Sumire is. She starts to see
others as shotas, always pairs up me and Ozu, and fantasizes about who-
knows-what. You could say that she loses all her reason and loses herself to
her lustful desires.

“Sorry, Ozu. They’re being idiots like usual.”

After getting into a position to do so, I separated from Ozu.

“N-No. I’m totally okay.”

“You really are a saint, Ozu. You’re not even getting mad at them for this.”

“Well, Sensei doesn’t have any ill-will. Usually.” Ozu softly shook his hands
and head.

His face looked a bit red to me, but that might’ve been just been the lighting.

“Ahhh! Why did you separate so soon!!! I wanted to watch some more shota
BL!!!”

“Will you finally return from the world of hallucinations already?”

“Gufu.”
One quick hit on her neck and she collapsed like all the energy in her body
had been cut. Shortly afterword, she lifted up her head, looking at her
surroundings.

“What in the world… Was I doing?”

“You were sexually harassing your students.”

“Eh? No no no that’s impossible! I’m the type of person who knows when to
draw the line.”

“Your brain really works very conveniently for you, doesn’t it?”

Realizing that we wouldn’t get anywhere like this, I cleared my throat to get
everyone’s attention.

“Ahhh, everyone. I have something I want to talk about. And it’s something
rather serious.”

When I finished my words, the noise in the room disappeared like a candle
that had been blown out. Ozu, Sumire, and even Iroha all went quiet. It’s
exactly because of this sort of thing that we can work together as the “Fifth
Floor Alliance.” This is our way of doing things. After looking everyone in
the eyes, I continued.

“It’s about our new neighbour, Tsukinomori Mashiro—”

I told everyone about what had happened over the past few days. About the
deal with President Tsukinomori, about Mashiro and me becoming fake
lovers, and how she showed no signs of actually wanting to act like a
girlfriend. Most importantly, I told them all that she had moved into room
501.

Changing her school, moving in right next to me, trying to reset her life, and
everything else that I speculated about. But it was clear to see that she still
wasn’t having fun with her current school life. And so—

Leaving her alone was definitely not an option.

“I want to make Mashiro a comrade. It might just be unnecessary meddling,

and she might not be happy about it at all, but even so, Oji-san entrusted
Mashiro to me… Will you help me?”

“………”

Everyone kept quiet, lost in their thoughts.

“Ahaha~”

The first person to break the silence was the girl known for not being able to
read the atmosphere.

“He tries to live for money and efficiency, but Senpai still wants to meddle
even though he doesn’t gain anything from it. It’s the best~!”

“Yeah, that’s just like Aki. It’s constant changes between showing kindness
and being severe. It’s like he’s an A.I. in the truest sense, trying to act like a
human being.”

“I have to agree. Mashiro-chan needs a place to belong to. And that’s

probably what she wants for herself the most.”
Ozu and Sumire followed up after Iroha’s words.

“So what exactly do you plan on doing, Senpai?”

“I want to throw a welcome party.”

“Something kind of like our party today?”

“Yeah. Invite her to our bad drinking party, and dye her in our colours.”

“Hmmmm, but do you really think that she’ll agree just like that?”

“I have a plan. And in order to pull it off, I need everyone’s help.”

“A plan! That sounds fun! Okay, I’m totally in~!”

“Alright, this is what I thought of—”

I lowered my voice and started explaining my plan.

I knew that it was absurd and completely unreasonable, and that the chance of
success was pretty slim. But for us, it certainly wasn’t impossible. Not a
single one of them thought that it was undoable. Instead, they totally agreed
with everything.

“Hehe~ That’s the best. It’s super duper interesting~”

“Though it feels like a lot is resting on my shoulders. Well, I’ll try to do my

best.”

“The reward is also very tempting~”

“Then it’s decided. All right. We’ll start next Friday at 8pm. I expect
punctual timing from everyone—”

And after everyone nodded in agreement—

“Let’s show her just how annoying we can be.”

“Yeah!!!”

Our echoes resonated throughout the room, deep in the night—

After that, our week of preparations began.

[6 Days prior (Saturday)]

Ding dong

“……………………”

Ding dong ding dong

“……………………………………………”

Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong ding dong— Rattle.

“S-Shut up… So loud… and on a Saturday morning…”

After we pressed the doorbell countless times, our goddess Amaterasu

finally opened the Gate of the Celestial Rock cave, greeting us with a sleepy
face and pyjamas. In response, we blatantly asked:

“Will you come to our drinking party on Friday?”

“…Go home!!!”[8]

[5 Days prior (Sunday)]

“…Huh? No matter how often I try to ring the bell, it won’t work… Don’t
tell me; did she cut the power to it?”

She actually had the nerve to learn from yesterday. Now that it had come to
this, there was no chance of attacking her on a Sunday like this. Sadly, we
had to withdraw for the day.

…As if.

For just such an occasion, we had prepared around 30 posters for our party,
and we stuffed them all into her mail slot.

[4 Days prior (Monday)]

‘I have something I want to talk about.’

During class, I wrote that on a small piece of paper ripped out of my

notebook, rolled it into a ball, and threw it over to Mashiro’s desk. After
reading it over, Mashiro gazed at me with a huffy expression, only to
wordlessly focus her gaze once more on the blackboard. However, after I
returned my focus to class, I realized that she was writing something on said
piece of paper. She threw it back to me.

‘What was that about yesterday? Was it bullying? Harassment?’

‘As you can see, it was an invite for our drinking party’.
‘Treating another person’s mail bin as a trash cran, filling it up to the brim…
Whatever, Mashiro hates you.’

‘Then tell me your LINE ID. It’ll be more convenient than doing this.’

‘Never. Die.’

She flat-out declined. It indeed was no easy task to get past the impregnable
wall of the Ice Queen.

—Well, we still have a lot of time, so it’s fine.

[3 Days Prior (Tuesday)]

“Hey, how about you come to—”

“Don’t talk to Mashiro inside the classroom.”

[2 Days Prior (Wednesday)]

“Hey, how about you come to—”

“Don’t talk to Mashiro on the way to school. Are you a stalker or

something?”

[1 Day Prior (Thursday)]

“Hey, how about you come to… wait, it’s already tomorrow—”

“………”

“We want to throw a welcoming party for you. We’ll order pizza and some
other stuff, Sensei will drink alcohol and the others will have juice. Since
we’re living in the same apartment complex on the same floor, we might as
well make the most out of it, right?”

“Listen here…”

Ohhh! Has she finally opened up her shell?!

“Even if you ask Mashiro so seriously, this place is…”

I guess that the girls’ toilet is impossible after all. I really thought that I might
get a positive response out of her if I caught her in a moment of relaxation
and weakness. Sadly, a lot of people have gathered in the meantime. They’re
all looking at the suspicious person stopping a girl on the way on the toilet.
At this rate, it’ll only be a matter of time before I have to run away from
teachers and police.

Overstaying my welcome is not recommended at this point. In complete

silence, I turned around on my heels and walked away.

In the end—

No matter how much we tried to invite her by whatever means and

techniques possible, she didn’t move an inch, blocking every attempt.

It was the evening before the day of the welcoming party. After classes, I
went to a nearby supermarket. While I pushed the cart in front of me,
different types of ingredients started piling up on their own. The person
responsible for that was Iroha, who was walking around the store, bringing
back whatever she wanted like a honeybee delivering honey.
Carrots, onions, potatoes, beef, various other side dishes, 500ml bottles of
water, tea, and whatnot. As well as all that, various sweets were clearly
being chosen according to her liking.

“I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s party, Senpai~” Iroha turned towards

me with a smile.

Though she was still wearing her school uniform, her headphones weren’t
present around her neck and she had her hair hanging down in a natural look.
Though it didn’t exactly hide the stylish feeling she gave off, she still looked
way more like an honor student than she usually did.

…Honestly, it gives me the chills.

“Do you really have to go into honor-student-mode when we’re just going
shopping?”

“When I use this mode, I can get discounts, or even get stuff for free. And
Senpai likes it more this way, right?”

“You’re not wrong, but still…”

Though my pride wouldn’t normally allow me to use my comrades for profit,

I certainly wouldn’t say anything against saving some money where I could,
especially for the expensive welcoming party. However, there was a certain
reason I wanted to avoid bringing the honor student Iroha here.

After all—

“Oh my oh my oh my, it’s the usual student couple!”

“Hello, Onee-san from the sample aisle.”

“Oh my, Iroha-chan. How nice of you to call this old lady an Onee-san! Aki-
kun, you really have yourself a good girlfriend.”

“I keep telling you. We really don’t have that kind of relationship…”

“Now now, there’s no need to get flustered,” said the old lady, not trusting
my words at all like usual as she patted me on the shoulder.

—Yeah, this is a total pain.

It might be obvious since we’re neighbours, but Iroha and I often meet up
here when going shopping for dinner and whatnot. At first, we just happened
to meet by pure coincidence, and just went shopping together on a whim, but
after a while, it became a routine for us to go together like this. Because of
that, we’ve become known as the ‘Couple that often goes shopping together’
by this old lady, whose stance on the subject still hadn’t change after all this
time. And it’s not even that—

“Oh, you have some wieners from overseas today?”

“Yes, that’s right~ They’re the thick, tenacious ones from Germany. If you
want, you can have a bite. It’s a service for Iroha-chan~”

“Ahhh… Nnn… Ah, it’s delicious. Such a rich flavour…” Iroha stuffed a
small piece of weiner into her mouth.

Seeming to have thought of something, she turned around to look at me. The
corners of her mouth lifted up, turning into a mischievous grin.

“Do you want some too, Senpai? …Here, open wide~”

“Stop it, idiot.”

“Muuu, you don’t have to act so embarrassed.”

When I pushed her arm away, Iroha’s expression morphed into that of a
married woman, as if to say “Fufu, such a helpless person” with a bright
smile. I wish for nothing more than to smack her when she’s this annoying,
but this is exactly what’s so frustrating about it…

“That’s right! Calling her ‘Idiot’ is way too cruel, Aki-kun!! You’ve got such
a wonderful girlfriend, so you have to be more kind to her!!!”

—See what I mean?

This is how it always goes if I react calmly in response to Iroha’s teasing. I

really have no idea how in the world we could look like a couple, but the
people around us seem to think differently. But, the fact that it’s apparently
already a fact written in stone for them is exactly what makes it so annoying.
When I firmly deny it, they just laugh at me, saying “You don’t have to be so
embarrassed!” Now that it’s come to this, there’s no escape from it anymore.
I wanted to avoid this scenario at all costs, so I tried to invite Ozu to go
shopping with us, but…

“I’ll hold off on that. Nobody wants to be the third wheel, after all.”

He flat-out refused me with those words. It seems like he’s really under the
wrong impression about the relationship between me and Iroha… what a
hideous misunderstanding.

…And while I continued to think, the wiener was still floating right before
my eyes. The smell of smoked food wafted through the air, and the hot steam
floated up from it. Iroha continued to gaze straight into my eyes.
“Are you not going to eat it, Senpai?”

“…I won’t. Come on, let’s go.”

“………Is…… That so………” Iroha muttered.

When Iroha pulled back her arm holding the weiner, the old lady’s gaze grew
about 30 times colder.

Glareeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“Ugh…”

“…………Stare.”

“I-I just have to eat it, okay.”

Unable to withstand the pressure, I signaled her to bring it to me as I

stretched out my hand. Holding the wiener in her hand, Iroha just shook her
head.

“It’s fine. I’m sorry for trying to force you.”

“I-I don’t mind.”

“…Really…? Then, how about you beg for it from the bottom of your heart?”

—This woman!!!! She has the nerve to respond like that?!

Not to mention that she said the last part in a low voice so that the old lady
couldn’t hear. There’s no mistake that she’s laughing her head off on the
inside, while keeping this sad expression on the outside. Doing as I was told
would practically give me an ulcer, but I can’t just lecture her in front of all
these people around us.

“M-Man, I really want to eat it now. I want to eat it, from the bottom of my
heart.”
“Did you run the math on that yet?”

“According to my calculations, I want to eat the wiener with a feeling of

98% certainty, of which 84% is because I want to be fed by Iroha. Basically
— I really want to eat it.”

“Pfft… Hehehehe…!”

When I presented the results of my mathematics, I answered in a cute way, in

response to which Iroha’s face turned into a grin, and she was barely able to
keep herself from laughing until she had turned her back towards me. But I
could clearly see her shoulders shaking from her snickering. She even has the
nerve to laugh at me. This damned woman… You’d better remember this.

“Y-You pass. To think that you would go this far. Pfftt…”

“Hey, old lady, how about you finally realize what really is happening here
and help me out?”

“Come on in, come on in! Today’s special is wieners straight from

Germany!!!”

“She’s returned to her job?!”

Even though she was actively participating in our conversation just now!
Damn it, why does the world always work in Iroha’s favour?

Grumbling about the gods in the heavens above and their obvious
favouritism, I swallowed the weiner.

“Nnn… Mmm…”
“Is it delicious, Senpai?”

“…It’s crazy delish.”

“Aha~ I like this honest side of Senpai~”

When the old lady’s gaze was longer directed at us, Iroha returned to her
usual lax and teasing attitude.

“Your annoying attitude doesn’t have anything to do with the tastiness of the
wiener.”

I couldn’t keep up my rough attitude while being overwhelmed by the

tastiness and juiciness of the weiner.

“Still, I’m surprised that you can go around telling people what you like
about them and whatnot.”

“Ehhh, I won’t say it to just anyone, you know? And I do like Senpai after
all~”

“You’re the complete opposite of her…”

“Um, by ‘her’ do you mean Mashiro-senpai?”

“Yeah. Looking at her face, she’s clearly saying things like ‘I hate you’ and
‘Die.’”

Though I clearly dislike being teased with fake confessions and whatnot,
even more so, I hate being hated for no reason. If only there were a girl right
between Iroha and Mashiro. That would be the best thing ever, but the world
sadly doesn’t work that way.
“That reminds me. You still haven’t managed to convince her to come, have
you?”

“……Well, yeah.”

When Iroha asked me this in the midst of reaching for some tomato juice at
the beverage section, I responded with a sigh.

For this operation, I had Ozu and Sumire help out quite a lot. Iroha too. I had
her come with me for the shopping, help prepare side dishes, and several
other things. The only part that wasn’t moving forward was me inviting
Mashiro.

“She just keeps running away. What do I even do about this…”

“Uuuunnnn… Come… here…”

Still trying to reach the juice, Iroha was lost in thought.

“So close… Senpai, did you hold back against Mashiro-senpai?”

“Eh?”

“It’s true that you tried your hardest to annoy her into coming, but if Senpai
were just honest about it, you wouldn’t even be worrying like this… Almost
got it.”

No matter how hard Iroha tried to surpass her limits, she couldn’t reach the
juice. She glared at the shelf with a pout.

“I know that Senpai can be even more pushy and annoying. Like that time
with me. Or when you wanted to invite Onii-chan, Sumire-chan-sensei and I
to Honey Play.”

“I couldn’t help it. Since I thought it was the best outcome, I couldn’t stop
myself.”

“And you wanted to satisfy everyone with that, huh? You’re right about that.
Really, it’s like the eyes you use to look at other people are too good, and
you only ever see what you want.”

“It just doesn’t sit well with me when people are forced into a place where
they don’t belong. Even though they have the skills, or though they have
something that they really want to do, either their circumstances or their
surroundings won’t allow it — that’s not right in my eyes.”

“That’s exactly it. Holding out a helping hand to the people who are torn
between dreams and reality. That is Senpai’s strength.”

Iroha suddenly jumped up and managed to grab the tomato juice.

“I did it! …Wah, aaaaahhh?!”

However, she lost her balance after her landing, and was about to fall
forwards against the shelf. Realizing that, I hurriedly put my arms around her
stomach and hugged her from behind.

“Be careful, idiot.”

“Ahahaha, you saved me,” Iroha said from between my arms, still tightly
grasping the tomato juice. “And it’s exactly because of this strength that even
Onii-chan follows you. If you don’t know whether Mashiro-senpai really
wants you to go on the aggressive, then I can guarantee that it’s okay for you
to trust your eyes.”

“Hmm, with full strength and brute force, huh? You’re right, I might have
been a bit too passive about this.”

Though I would’ve preferred the rational way of doing things, it seems that
my self-assessment was wrong. Apparently I was being too soft in response
to Mashiro’s decision to live independently.

That’s right. Once I’ve decided on what I think is the right path, it’s very
much like me to strive for it with everything. It’ll surely be to Mashiro’s
benefit. This much is necessary for an ideal future.

When I started to think like that, I didn’t care anymore if I was annoying. I
remembered back to when I had tried to convince everyone to start working
under Honey Play. In response to the three of them who were clearly
confused by my sudden idea, I convinced them that it would work out in their
favour, and I got them to accept.

The one who has immense talent, but who is unable to hold a decent
conversation with anyone below his level, the one who is only able to talk
with me and family; Ozu.

The one who had loved drawing ever since she was a small child and had
developed an immense talent with it, but who was still forced down the road
of teaching by a family of teachers; Sumire.

In order to grant their dreams, whatever the obstacle might be, we will use
President Tsukinomori’s Honey Play, and accept any conditions. Comparing
the current situation to back then, this is almost laughable.
After I helped Iroha get back on balance, she handed me the tomato juice in
her hand—

“—Thank you, Iroha. You’re absolutely right.”

“Aha~ I’m looking forward to Senpai being serious~”

Both me and the Kouhai who liked teasing others had ominous grins on our
faces.

—You’d better prepare yourself, Mashiro.

Even if you hate it, I won’t leave you alone.

You’ll get friends in the most efficient way possible, and you’ll spend an
enjoyable student life.

I’ll show you just how annoying I can be.

「It seems like things will be interesting from here on out. I’m looking
forward to Aki’s plan.」

「I don’t know how far I can go, but you’d better watch me!」

I :M ’ F

Being wrapped up in a comfy blanket on top of a bed makes you want to

spend an eternity there. It’s like being a seashell on the beach. Not opening
up to the outside, just getting swallowed up by the incoming waves.

That’s what Mashiro thought, and what she still thinks even now.

—Of course, she knew very well that she couldn’t keep going on like this.
Precisely because she knew this, she transferred.

Mashiro really felt happy when she was reunited with Aki once more. Well,
their first meeting after all these years was the worst it could possibly be.
Him seeing Mashiro’s plain underwear that she had never wanted him to see
was such a shock that she wanted to die—

Even so, Mashiro was incredibly happy to be able to see him again and to
exchange words with him. She should’ve been able to guess, but Aki hadn’t
changed at all.

“This Friday, I really want Mashiro to come to our welcoming party—”

On the way to school. At school. In front of Mashiro’s house… Mashiro’s

chest hurt from remembering Aki’s face every time he had invited her. She
knew that he didn’t have any ill intentions with his meddling. She knew that
even after such a long time without seeing him.

After all, what he had accomplished continued to protect Mashiro even from
far away. That was why she always wanted to take that one step forward.
Mashiro believed that when she could stand next to him, she might be able to
change as well.

—But reality is cruel.

That female Kouhai, standing next to Aki… Who is that?

Mashiro doesn’t know her.

Mashiro knew about Kohinata Ozuma and Kageishi Sumire beforehand.

When Aki was talking with father, she had overheard those names. But she
didn’t hear anything about a cute girl like her. It was like he was trying to
show off his girlfriend.

…………

No, that’s nothing more than groundless envy.

Mashiro’s feelings were just getting the better of her due to the length of time
she had spent apart from him. Iroha is just his friend’s little sister, so there’s
no reason to falter.

Honestly, when Father brought up his fake boyfriend idea, Mashiro could’ve
jumped for joy. She could have made a victory pose inside her heart. Though
it was embarrassing, her happiness was ten times stronger than that. That’s
exactly why her feeling of despair was even greater when Mashiro saw that
girl suddenly standing next to Aki.

Even Mashiro herself thought that this was laughable.

Things weren’t going smoothly with her classmates, and she had started to
hate the walk to school—

By pure coincidence, Mashiro had found out about the “Fifth Floor
Alliance.”

“‘Are you a stalker?’… What’s up with that? Are you an idiot, Mashiro?”
Mashiro was selfish with her Father in order to get closer to Aki again. She
managed to get into the same school using unfair methods, and she even got
the room next to him — and she was the one calling him a stalker?

Mashiro herself is the greater stalker, really.

Mashiro hates herself for using abusive language towards Aki out of
jealousy.

Mashiro hates herself for bluntly refusing the chance she received to become
closer to him.

Mashiro hates the fact that there’s another girl who Aki is on close terms
with.

Mashiro hates herself for going this far to change schools, yet not changing
anything about herself.

She hates so much about herself.

“Friday… Tomorrow, huh…?”

Turning over on the bed, Mashiro stared at the wall next to her. Past that wall
was room 502. Past that might be Aki’s bed that he’d be sleeping in, but there
was no way for Mashiro to check.

Hiding her mouth with the blanket, Mashiro muttered the following words.

“She won’t go to that drinking party…”

If it was Mashiro and Aki, everything would work out.

But if it’s a place filled with other people, then Mashiro can’t. She would
just get swept along in that place. Even the right to talk to Aki would be
stolen away from her. If that happened, she would be surrounded by
strangers. In an environment where fun is forced upon you, she would feel
like a loner all over again.

…Mashiro doesn’t want that. Mashiro definitely won’t accept the invitation.
Even if she were invited countless times by the one she loves most dearly,
she definitely won’t accept it.
 C 8:
O M F IA A
T M

It was Friday. The day of Mashiro’s welcoming party.

First period, second period, third period, fourth period, lunch break—At
each critical point, I once more tried talking to Mashiro. Yet her heart
remained as cold as ice, and I was promptly shot down every time.

And finally, when classes had ended—

Immediately after homeroom ended, I looked over at Mashiro, but she

hurriedly packed up her things and dashed out of the classroom. It was quite
the scheme to run away before I could talk to her, but whatever.

“How go the preparations?”

As I spoke, I turned around to be greeted by the sight of a grinning Ozu. He

was in the middle of taking out his laptop.

“The preparations are going smoothly. Though I must say that this producer
right here is a very shady person. He forced me to create that crazy setup in a
single week.”

“Didn’t you manage to finish it just yesterday, you genius tech guy?”
“Yes, but it cost me some of my precious sleep… Yawn…”

“I’ll definitely pay you back for this. Just help me out for now, please.”

“Yeah, understood~”

Nodding in response, I took out my smartphone and booted up LINE in order

to make an announcement.

“Operation PT, start. Deploy.”

“Understood!”

Iroha, Ozu, and Sumire gave their confirmation. In response, I stood up and
chased after Mashiro. After running down the hallway and jumping down the
stairs, I finally caught a glimpse of her at the entrance of the building.

“Mashiro!”

“…! W-What do you want? Chasing after Mashiro like this…”

“I have some business with you.”

“Mashiro already told you that she won’t be attending the drinking party.”

“So you remembered that it was today. That means that you have at least a
slight amount of interest in it, right?”

“S-Sophistry! Even though she wanted to forget, Mashiro wasn’t able to

because she was constantly asked throughout the entire week.”

“I guess you’re right about that… Well, don’t worry. It’s pointless to hold it
anyway if you don’t come of your own volition. I’m not going to drag you
there by force or anything.”

“………Really?”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“That still sounds dubious… And if you didn’t come in order to convince
Mashiro, why did you chase after her?”

“I’m not here to talk about the drinking party. I just wanted to walk home with
you.”

“…………”

She glared at me with upturned eyes like a wary cat.

Ahhh, she totally doesn’t trust me at all. Well, given how things have gone up
until now, that’s not really surprising.

“We live in the same building, so there shouldn’t be any problem if I tag
along, right?”

“…………”

Surely she’ll bite with an invitation so simple. Though this might be a bit too
high of a hurdle for someone that I’ve hardly exchanged any words with, this
isn’t as drastic as the invitation to the drinking party. She could see it as
broadening her horizons a bit. If she denies this invitation, that means that she
can’t stand being within a meter of me. There’s no way in the world that
she’ll shoot me down here—

“……”
After changing into her outdoor shoes, Mashiro dashed away into the
distance.

“—Seriously? She hates me that much?”

I was shocked.

Well, if you think about it, I’ve only done things that would make her hate me.
Even still, it was still quite the shock. If this were a rom-com, things like this
should clear up on their own, right?

…Nah, that’s not happening. Unlike Ozu, I don’t have that kind of ability at
all. All the girls around me just hate my guts. There aren’t any girls around
me who would invite me to dates out of nowhere. I don’t have any sort of
natural charisma like that.

So I’ll achieve the results I want with my own hands, by my own effort. That
is how I—Ooboshi Akiteru—do things.

“You won’t get away from me! I’ll definitely go home with you,
Mashiroooooo!!!”

“Haah… Haah… W-Why are you still chasing Mashiro?!”

“Aren’t you being a bit too self-conscious?! I’m just heading home
normally!”

“Even so, there should be no reason for you to be sprinting after Mashiro like
this… right?!”
Mashiro and I were holding our conversation while running. Though we had
started out at a fast speed, her speed had started lagging and she was getting
out of breath. This wasn’t particularly surprising. After all, she had been a
shut-in up until last week. She stood little chance of escaping from me, since
I had been training daily. But when I reached out and was about to catch her,
my hand only grabbed the air in front of me.

“Change… of… route…!” Mashiro veered into an alley.

In response, I hit the emergency brakes.

“Ahh! Wait!”

“You just said ‘Wait’, right?! Liar. You really are chasing Mashiro!”

“What’s wrong with chasing other people?! Are you an idiot?!”

“So you’re finally admitting it?!” Mashiro dashed into an even smaller alley.

While saying that, she pushed over some boxes that had been neatly stacked
against one side, trying to throw them into my path to slow me down. They
had probably been set there by some restaurant on the other side. Dodging
them while scaring off a black cat, I kept running and keeping Mashiro in
sight.

“Why… are you… so concerned about Mashiro? E-Even if Mashiro doesn’t

go, Aki will have fun. She can’t just enter… an already established
group…!”

“Then… if you don’t become a friend of ours, where exactly are you
planning to fit in?”
“……”

“Have you talked to anyone other than me in this past week? Of the 24 people
in our class, how many have you talked to?”

“S-Stop… Don’t… say… any… more…!”

Even I knew that I was being an asshole by asking something like that. From
Sunday to Friday, from morning to night, this entire week I’ve been constantly
chasing after her. Since I’d watched her more than anyone else, I already
knew the answer to my question: Zero people. Of course, I didn’t posit this
cruel question to her because I wanted to hurt her or anything.

“Was this really what you wanted to achieve after transferring? It wasn’t,
right?!”

“………! That’s… not…!”

“It’s true that what happened at the family restaurant was my fault, and if
that’s the problem, I’ll apologise as much as you want me to. I’ll go down on
my knees and do whatever you want. I’ll treat you to sweets as much as you
want. I don’t need you to forgive me, and I don’t care if you continue to hate
me, but please—”

Putting as much emotion as I could into it, I called out to her.

“—I know you want to have fun! Don’t lie to your own feelings!!!”

“………?!” She visibly twitched.

But instead of stopping, she continued to run, shaking her head. In the
meantime, we had emerged from the alley into a wide street. While we were
crossing that, the driver coming towards us was barely able to stop. He
honked his horn at us while yelling something like “Pay more attention, you
damned kids!”, but I only responded with a simple apology. I was busy
staring at Mashiro, who trying to climb a river bank. That was her fatal
mistake, and it showed that she didn’t have the energy to think clearly
anymore.

“Now I’ve got you!”

She lost her balance, and I managed to catch up with her. However,
misfortune abruptly assaulted both of us.

“Eh?”

“Ah—”

Mashiro’s energy was cut like a string, and I crashed right into her. There
was no way that the body of a girl with a small stature like hers could endure
the full impact of a growing male high school student like me.

“Kyaaaaaaaa?!”

“Uwoooaaaaaah!!!”

After crashing into each other, we both fell over and rolled down the
riverbank.

Splaaaaaaash!!!

Even more unfortunately, our final destination was the river. Fortunately, it
was rather shallow. Thanks to that, we were in no danger of drowning. Even
still, this was the worst possible outcome.
“Puwaaaa! S-Shit, this better not be any industrial wastewater!” Spitting out
the water inside my mouth, I cursed.

Shortly after, Mashiro sat up and let out a disgusted voice.

“Uuu… Mashiro is soaked…”

“Are you okay, Mashi… ro?!”

“Eh? What’s wrong A… ki…”

Though she was confused at first by my sudden outburst, she immediately

realized why. Of course, it was a natural result of falling into the river. Her
school uniform was absolutely soaked, and it was clinging to her skin.
Droplets of water were forming around her modest chest, her thighs, her
socks, and even the tips of her hair strands. It was like seeing the snow thaw
in the morning… Well, I tried to describe it as best as I could, but this was
the very first thought that crossed my mind:

“——Erotic.”

I’m sorry that it wasn’t something you could put into a classical poem. But
it’s the truth. There was also the fact that I had let my guard down after that.
Typically, I would think rationally in these kinds of situations, but I couldn’t
stop myself from blurting it out. That’s just how charming and mysterious
Mashiro’s drenched appearance looked. Honestly, I couldn’t help but be
entranced by her.

“… ~~~ — …!!!”

Mashiro went red up to the nape of her neck, and her lips started shaking.
“What… What… are you looking at…? Pervert…!”

“S-Sorry! It was so erotic that I was entranced!”

“That’s too honest!”

I bluntly blurted it out. Can you blame me? There are limits to being able to
keep my mouth shut.

With water dripping off of her, Mashiro stood up while trying to cover her
body.

“Ah…”

However, her legs were still shaky from all of the running…

“Careful!”

“Kyaa… Hey—”

Just as Mashiro was about to fall over, I grabbed her. Our bodies were
drenched and sticking to each other, and our faces were equally close.

Though this situation would surely make anyone’s heart skip a beat, I wasn’t
about to make the same mistake twice, so I hurriedly looked away.

“Tell me when you can stand on your own. I don’t plan on holding you like
this forever.”

“Y-Yeah…”

Though I was looking away and couldn’t see her expression, I could feel the
tension inside Mashiro’s body disappear as she calmly remained in my arms.
She started getting her legs under her and slowly tried to regain her posture.

“It’s okay now…”

“I see. Don’t fall over again, okay?”

“Yeah…”

With that, the two of us walked towards the riverbank, only for us to fall
again when we arrived at the path.

“Today really is the worst,” I grumbled.

“That’s what Mashiro should be saying.”

“Don’t you think so, too? With these matching clothes, we totally look like a
couple.”

That would have been a natural response to seeing our clothes. I wasn’t
joking when I said these words.

“………Pfft.”

Mashiro’s icy expression melted.

“Ahahahaha, what’s up with that? Are you an idiot? This is the first time I’ve
seen such a horrible-looking couple.”

“It may be a message from the gods saying that it totally fits a fake couple
like us.”

“Those gods can just die.”

“That’s pretty harsh, isn’t it? Maybe if you prayed to them a bit more, they
might actually show you some goodwill?”

“Mashiro doesn’t think that’s likely. There’s no way that they would suddenly
like her if they hated her up until yesterday,” She replied.

Somehow, Mashiro’s appearance looked small, like a child cowering in the

corner of her room after being scolded by her parents.

“You’re not completely wrong about that, but… Hey, why are you so
stubborn?”

Normally, she should be lonely.

She went so far as to beg her parents to allow her to change schools, but even
so, she hasn’t make a single friend. But she still keeps up a façade of being
happy and satisfied with her current life… I won’t allow it. I refuse to be
insensitive enough to ignore her. That’s why I’ll keep pushing her. It might
hurt her, but I won’t show any mercy. Because I want to talk with the real
Mashiro, who’s hiding behind that façade.

“…Aki really is weird. He bothers Mashiro this much. So weird.”

“How perceptive. Though I may hide it in the classroom, I’m a weird guy.”

“You don’t really hide it in the classroom, either… But I understand. Aki is
weird like this. That’s why the others are also…”

By “the others,” does she mean the other members of the “5th Floor
Alliance?”

But before I could ask her why she was bringing them up, Mashiro continued.

“Sorry… Aki didn’t do anything wrong. Mashiro… doesn’t hate Aki. So

please don’t start hating Mashiro.”

“I never said that I hated you… Though I really thought that you hated me,” I
hesitantly answered Mashiro’s tearful plea.

I knew that there were some circumstances weighing her down that she didn’t
want to talk about. And even if I had to be annoying in order to get closer to
her, I wouldn’t try to dig into her past for no reason. However, Mashiro is
right now trying her hardest to put it into words. She’s trying to come out of
her shell.

“Um… you see… Mashiro… is scared.”

“Scared?”

“She’s scared that she won’t be able to fit in with Aki’s friends. That she’ll
lose her presence, and not be seen by anyone else, and then… in that
moment… even Aki wouldn’t be able to see Mashiro anymore… It sounds
weird, right? But—”

“No, it’s not weird at all.”

“Eh?”

In response to Mashiro’s earnest words, I affirmed her feelings.

That’s right. Her words weren’t weird at all, nor were they nonsensical.

“I’ve been gathering a lot of attention due to the fake boyfriend act, so it
might not seem this way, but I don’t really have any presence in the
classroom either. I know better than anyone how you feel.”

“N-No way… Aki also…?” Mashiro stared at me with wide eyes.

“Though it’s not like they’re bullying me or anything. I don’t have any special
talents, my grades aren’t particularly exceptional, and I’m not all that
handsome. I’m just a normal guy, a guy who you could find anywhere. A
mediocre person. That’s me.”

“T-That’s not true. After all, Aki is the leader of the ‘5th Floor Alliance’—”

“Ah, you know that name?”

I’d told her that the people living on the floor would participate in the
welcoming party, but did I ever tell her that name?

“Ah… Uhm… My father… told me…”

“Ahhh, right. You’re Oji-san’s daughter, after all. Of course you’d know.”

President Tsukinomori has this relaxed, seductive attitude around him, and
he’s a very doting parent. Who cares about confidentiality anyway, right?
Well, it’s not like we’d agreed on anything like that to begin with.
“Y-You made that crazy-good game, right? Even though you’re only in high
school, you’re making so much money—”

“No, we’re splitting the money, and it’s not as much as you think it is. Most
of it is going towards the production of the next game, anway. It’s not as
profitable as you might think.”

“Even so, you’re the leader of the team and you’re creating your own game…
Boys and girls, young and old… a lot of people are playing it. Mashiro
thinks… that’s amazing. It makes sense that you’re so popular in school.”

“No, something like that wouldn’t make you popular, and our classmates
don’t even know about it.”

“………!”

Mashiro’s eyebrows clearly twitched.

“Why haven’t you told them…? Is it so that they won’t make fun of you…?”

“No, that’s not it,” I immediately replied to Mashiro’s question. “I don’t want
to get lost in the moment because I’m getting fawned over.”

“Eh…? So you don’t want to be praised by everyone else…?”

“Of course I want to. I’m human, after all.”

There’s a side of me who wants to be acknowledged. After all, it can feel

rather lonely to have absolutely no presence. However—

“Being a braggart would only rob me of the time that I need to keep working.
That would decrease my work efficiency. That’s just the conclusion I arrived
at.”

“………”

When Mashiro heard my words, she simply stared at me for a while. But,
finally—

“…You’re so weird.”

She showed me the biggest smile I’d seen from her yet.

“You’re really not coming?”

We made our way home, still drenched, leaving little droplets of water along
the way like Hansel and Gretel. When we arrived in the lobby of the
condominium, I asked Mashiro to the party one more time. In response, she
gently shook her head.

“…Sorry. Mashiro is happy that you invited her, but…”

“They’re all good people. There’s no way that they would ostracise you at
all.”

“Mashiro knows. But it’s a problem of her feelings.”

“Well, if you’re being that adamant about it, then I can only give up.”

We arrived at the elevator. Once we started riding up, total silence fell.

In the end, I couldn’t convince Mashiro. Apparently, her heart was wrapped
in total darkness even more than I had imagined, and she was easily
frightened by anyone who had the possibility of becoming comrades or
friends. Of course I wouldn’t be able to warm up her heart in just those few
days after our reunion.

Falling into the river, voicing our feelings directly to one another, laughing
together…

For her to still close her heart off after all of that, I couldn’t even fathom how
deeply she must be hurting. That’s why, even though it didn’t sit right with me
at all, I had no other choice but to give up—

“…Then.”

When we arrived at the 5th floor, Mashiro started walking away with her
back turned to me. I laughed.

“Next week, let’s act normal at school, okay?”

“…………………Yeah.”

Hearing her muttering like a small child, I watched her back as it grew more
distant. She walked towards room 501, the furthest back in the hallway, the
room right next to mine. After a while, I also started walking through the long
hallway, when I suddenly heard a voice.

“Ah? …Did Mashiro forget to lock it?”

Mashiro was holding the doorknob in hand, tilting her head in confusion.

“What’s wrong?”
“Ah, well… the door wasn’t locked. But Mashiro is sure that she definitely
locked it.”

“—Could it be a thief?”

“M-Mashiro doesn’t know. But—”

She looked at me with a gaze filled with worry. She was living alone for the
first time, in this room that she had just moved into, and the door was
unlocked. What if she didn’t forget to lock it…? What if a robber was
currently rummaging around inside her house?

“…Let’s go check. I’ll come with you.”

“Yeah…”

In order to protect Mashiro from the worst-case scenario, I got in front of her,
opened the door, and took a step inside the pitch-black room. Taking off my
shoes, I went deeper inside, the two of us sticking close to one another.

Total silence greeted us, and there was no sign human presence at all. Only
the sound of our own footsteps could be heard.

I could feel the sweat running down my cheek as I took hesitant steps
forward. At the same time, I felt Mashiro tightly gripping to the sleeve of my
uniform.

We arrived at the door that connected to the living room. Without saying
anything, I turned towards Mashiro. Gulping once, she nodded. I grabbed the
doorknob and threw it open—!

—While simultaneously pushing Mashiro’s back.

“Eh?”

“Like I said, I will give up on forcing you. I will respect your decision—”

Having been suddenly pushed into the living room, Mashiro turned around,
perplexed.

“—As if I would stop there, idiot,” I grinned, like a villain of an anime who
had just defeated the protagonist.

Bang! Bang bang!

What Mashiro heard shortly afterwards weren’t shots, however. After all,
falling down on top of Mashiro’s head were several colorful paper strips.

“Welcome to the 5th floor!!!”

‘Mashiro-chan’s welcoming party’—

Read the horizontal banner hanging on the wall in the far back of the living
room. The table was filled with tea and alcohol, glasses filled with juice,
delivered food, and Iroha’s tasty homemade vegetable curry. And standing
around that table were Iroha, Ozu, and Sumire, all with party crackers in
their hands.

That’s right. Mashiro and I had been walking home like Hansel and Gretel,
but—

Our destination was the witch’s house. What an unfortunate Gretel, to be

lured to the witch’s house by Hansel, whom she trusted the most.

“…W-What is this about?”

“I told you that today is Mashiro’s welcoming party, right?”

“That’s… not what Mashiro meant… Why did you break into Mashiro’s
home. In… truders…!”

“Yeah, intruding really isn’t good. I tell that to Iroha every time she barges
into my home.”

“Then—”

“But you’re wrong about one thing. We’re not intruders at all. This is my
house.”

“What? Mashiro doesn’t understand. This is Mashiro’s home.”

“Did you check the name plate?”

“Mashiro doesn’t have one yet. She just moved here.”

“That’s why it was so easy to deceive you. I just had to remove my own as
well.”

“B-But, Mashiro definitely…”

“You should understand if you look around the entrance and the living room.
Do you remember seeing this room before?”

“………No.”

“That should be enough to convince you, I suppose.”

“…But, how…? Mashiro should have opened the door to her own room.”
Since she still wasn’t used to these new surroundings, she would need
something like a landmark. Therefore,

“Mashiro, you only remember that your room is at the far end of the
hallway.”

“Remember or not, it’s the truth… What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that your room isn’t the furthest back in the hallway.”

“????”

Her face had a look of ridicule, as if she had no idea what I was talking
about. Of course, that much made sense.

“You’ll understand when you see it.”

Saying that, I took Mashiro with me out into the hallway again. Right next to
the door, at the end of the hallway, there was a wall, however you looked at
it. Still unable to understand what I was hinting at, Mashiro only looked at
me in confusion. In response to that, I wordlessly touched the ‘wall’. When I
did, the scenery shimmered, as if drops of water were hitting the surface of
the wall.

“Eh?!”

Mashiro raised her voice in surprise.

“It’s a white screen. We projected the wall onto it, and it worked perfectly as
an illusion. “

“Y-You’re right. Mashiro can see the equipment now.”

“By the way, the reason why I was chasing you after school was so that you
wouldn’t go home just yet.”

“…That’s how much you were planning ahead?”

“Yeah. I always have to be 2–3 steps ahead, or things never work out.”

If Mashiro had said yes in response to my invitation after school, then we

wouldn’t have needed the white screen. But if she tried to run away, I had to
prevent her from getting home quickly. I had to give enough time for Ozu and
the others to put up the screen.

“Really. Aki’s requests are always so over the top, and so sudden as well.
He really is working me to the bone.”

“And that’s exactly why you are my friend, because I could ask you for
something as ridiculous as this.”

Joining us in the hallway was Ozu, who was wearing a bitter smile on his
face. This was the person responsible for everything technology-related in
the “5th Floor Alliance,” the genius programmer OZ. Real name: Kohinata
Ozuma. Thanks to him, we had managed to create this realistic-looking
illusion.

“Operation PT (Picture Trap) was a success, it seems.”

“Mashiro… doesn’t understand this one bit.”

Now Mashiro, who had been spacing out for a while, finally opened her
mouth again, with her arms shaking.
“Why… Why would you go this far just to get Mashiro to join your drinking
party?”

“You’ll understand once you join in. You’ll understand that these aren’t the
kind of people who will leave you all alone.”

Mashiro’s field of view is too narrow. She’s built up fake walls so tall that
she can’t see around her anymore. When she was holed up in her room, she
was the only resident of her world. And in order to pull her out from there,
we forcefully intruded upon her.

“B-But… even if you suddenly tell Mashiro to become friends with them,
that’s… troublesome, or something…”

“What are you saying, Mashiro-paisen~…? Wait, you’re completely

soaked?!”

Iroha came running from the living room to hug Mashiro from behind, only to
jump back when she realized that Mashiro’s uniform was still wet.

“Aki-senpai… Did you violate her so much that she got drenched like
this…?”

“I didn’t, idiot. Look, I’m also drenched.”

“I mean… if you did a good job, then it’s surely possible—”

“Hey, you damned girl. You have the damn nerve learn about something like
that when I look away?” Mashiro grumbled.

As always, she wasn’t cute at all, and was throwing vugular words all over
the place.
“Ahaha~ There’s no way I would stay innocent forever~ And a-n-y-w-a-y-s,
Mashiro-san has one big misunderstanding!”

She pointed directly at Mashiro.

“We four aren’t friends or anything!”

“Eh?”

When Iroha’s words reached Mashiro’s ears, Mashiro couldn’t contain her
shock.

“Ahh, rather, everyone except for Aki-senpai and Onii-chan. Or rather, a

match-up as lovers would be even more delish for me as a little sister!”

“I know!! It’s so delish! This harmony of hardcore sadistic ideal man and
prince is the best!!!” Sumire said, poking her head out of the door.

“Don’t join the conversation at a time like this. Get lost, you shitty teacher.”

“Awwww, so cold.”

“And you stink! Are you drunk already? At least wait for Mashiro to arrive
first!”

“It’s your fault for leaving me alone in a room filled with alcohol.”

How about you learn some self-restraint? Well, it’s not like there’s even the
smallest shred of rational thinking in her.

“W-Wait…! You say that you’re not friends, but you seem so close!”
“Um. From my point of view, Senpai is just Onii-chan’s friend, Onii-chan is
Onii-chan, and Sumire-chan-sensei is the Onii-chan’s homeroom teacher—
That’s all pretty different from friendship, right?”

“Right. From my point of view, Ozu is a friend of mine, Iroha is my friend’s

little sister, and this good-for-nothing teacher is some kind of living
creature.”

“Aren’t you a being bit too cruel to me?!”

“Now now. Well, that’s how it is~”

When Iroha pushed Sumire back inside, she let out a tearful shout. Iroha
ignored her and continued.

“We’re neighbours, so we might as well get together!—is what happened,

really.”

“A relationship like that… is that even possible? Is it because you are game
creators?”

“Of course. And you knew about that, huh?” Iroha said, while making eye
contact with me.

I made a face that said Oh, I forgot to tell you~?

“Well~ That’s definitely a big part of it, but it’s not like it’s a necessary
condition or anything. And also, since I’m not even a part of the creator team,
I would be disqualified if that were the case~”

“Now that you mention it…”

“That’s why there’s no condition or anything for you to be a part of this
group. This group isn’t about being something like friends, family, lovers, or
anything like that. It’s more like a guild, or something lax like that. Because
we have such low manpower on our own, Aki-senpai came up with the idea
in order to—Gufu?!”

“Ah, that’s as far as you’ll go. You talk way too much.”

Since Iroha was about to blurt out the founding story of the “5th Floor
Alliance,” I forcefully shut her up with my hand. It’s not like it’s that big of a
deal, and it’s not really all that interesting either. There shouldn’t be any
reason to tell it to Mashiro in more detail.

“Well, that’s how it is. You can just join, Mashiro, and keep your relationship
as ‘The fake boyfriend’s friend’ and ‘The fake boyfriend’s friend’s little
sister’ with the others. The ‘5th Floor Alliance’ doesn’t have any
responsibilities like normal friends have with each other. Though there’s one
person who doesn’t live here: Makigai Namako-sensei, but there are certain
reasons why he can’t participate. Not that you really have to care about that,
though.”

“Ah…”

When the name “Makigai Namako” came up, Mashiro looked devastated.
Since she knows all about the “5th Floor Alliance,” that name surely sounds
familiar to her as well. Maybe also because he’s the most well-known
person among all of the members. And even though he’s not here with us, we
can still work flawlessly, so that says everything you need to know about our
relationship.
“Are you satisfied?”

“…Really, Mashiro is an idiot to be tricked by these people,” She muttered

to herself.

Yes, there’s nothing I can say to that. I’m well aware of our deception.

“But it’s not so bad, right?”

“Yeah… Thank you,” Mashiro responded, slightly displeased, but still with
pink-colored cheeks.

Since we couldn’t stay in our drenched clothes forever, both of us took a

shower.

…In our own homes of course, okay?

Having finished, I changed into casual clothes and waited for Mashiro at the
entrance. When she arrived, I brought her into the living room.

—No one’s here?

They’re not doing what I think they’re doing, right?

“Huh? Nobody’s here.”

“It seems like from here on out, it’ll be the grown-up’s world.”

“Eh? Ehhh?”
“Oh yeah, this is Mashiro’s first time, isn’t it…? Well, I’ll teach you if you
don’t understand anything.”

“H-Hey, wait. Isn’t this developing a bit too quickly?”

“You don’t have to be afraid; you’ll get used to it soon. Come on, let’s go.”

I pulled Mashiro along with a bit of brute force. It doesn’t matter if she
resists. I won’t let her run away again.

You’ll start feeling good soon enough, so don’t worry! Kekekekeke!

“N-No… Aki is one thing, but an orgy is…!”

While she was whispering to herself with a teary voice, I opened the door to
the room in the back, not paying any attention to her muttering.

And…

“Ah, Aki. We’ve already started.”

“Senpai is here!!! A three-way really is lacking~!”

“Ahahahahaha, Iroha-chan, phrasing phrasing! You mean 3P! A 3P!”

“Just say sanma, it sounds way better. Ah, Sumire-senpai, that’s ron!
1200!”[9]

“Gyaaaaaaaa?!”

“……Eh?”
Seeing the situation inside the room, Mashiro was at a loss for words.
Though I didn’t know what she was expecting, it probably wasn’t this. Well,
it’s not like I don’t understand, since this isn’t something that a normal family
would do.

Ozu, Iroha and Sumire were all sitting around a square table—

—A completely self-moving mahjong-table.

“T-This is…”

“We eat food, drink alcohol and juice, and start a match.”

“Hurry and sit down already~ The real thing will start when we have four
people~”

“You want to try, Mashiro?”

“U-Uhm… M-Mashiro has never played any mahjong except for online…”

“The people who say that are always exceptionally good at it, right?”

“True~~~It feels like you’re only pretending to be a beginner~!”

“I don’t care who’s stronger: Ozuma-kun or I. My hadakatanki is the

strongest!”[10] Sumire proudly puffed out her chest.

But she’s really weak! She just received a fatal hit, but she’s still speaking so
arrogantly! Well, as long as she’s having fun, I don’t care who actually wins.

I forced Mashiro to sit down, and she looked at me, eyes filled with fear.

“M-Mashiro isn’t good with gambling…”

“It’s okay. We’re not betting at all. The landlord prohibited that.”

“The only thing we’re betting is our pride! Or something like that!”

“Pride…”

“Yeah, yeah Iroha-san really knows how things are supposed to be handled
here! Mashiro-san, you can just be the pinch hitter for Aki-senpai~ Today
will be the day that I win!”

“What are you deciding on your own…? Well, it’s not like I care, though.”

You’re the one who’s fixated on winning, after all.

“Let’s just try one game. In gambling games like these, you can gain insight
into everyone’s true character.”

“Uhm… Mashiro will try.”

Though she seemed to not be fully satisfied, Mashiro was caught up in the
flow and swept along.

Like that, what was originally intended to be a welcoming party for Mashiro
turned into a mahjong competition instead. That being said, we used rather
loose mahjong rules, so it became more of a self-introduction round of sorts.
Such as introducing everyone’s names, special skills, favorite foods—

The conversation started harmlessly without any obstacles, and morphed into
an intense debate about Mashiro’s favourite late-night anime. Slowly but
steady, Mashiro also learned more about the others, as the density of
information intensified.
By the way, Ozu had the advantage throughout the whole game because of his
efficient calculations. Maybe it was because she was nervous being around
new people, but Mashiro’s points soon approached zero because of careless
mistakes. Though the rules weren’t exactly harsh in my home, it was still a
precarious situation for her.

“Hee hee, Senpai’s pinch hitter Mashiro-san is all over the place~ Now if I
can only bring down Onii-chan, I will have my complete victory! As a
reward, can I do perverted things with Senpai? —Ahahaha! I’m just kidding.
Did you think I was serious? What a shame!”

“Ugh… there’s nothing of shame there.”

“Now now, you’re playing the strong guy, hmm? I already know that this
Virgin-senpai over here is all about my breasts, you know?”

“WIll you focus on the game already? It’s Mashiro’s oya turn.”[11]

“I’m not scared at all though~”

“Hey. Iroha… chan?”

Suddenly, Mashiro raised her voice.

“Oh? What is it?”

“Iroha-chan and Aki… are you really not going out?”

“No, we’re totally lovey-dovey.”

“Eh?”
“Just kidding!!! Were you surprised? You totally were, right?!”

“Y-Yeah…”

Mashiro was totally being overwhelmed by Iroha’s high energy.

“If you let down your guard just a tiny bit, this girl will immediately use any
chance to annoy the hell out of you, so be careful.”

“Really, you’re making me sound like such a bad person~ Don’t worry, I
won’t be as annoying as I am towards Senpai~”

“Why don’t you keep it down towards me as well?”

“Impossible~! It’s Iroha-san’s reason for living, after all!”

“What kind of bothersome reason is that…?”

“………”

“Hm? What’s wrong, Mashiro?”

Mashiro continued to quietly watch our exchange. And it looked like she was
pouting for some reason.

“You two seem unexpectedly close.”

“Oh? Are you jealous, perchance?”

“…N-No, that’s not true!”

“Hmmm, that’s suspicious. You call yourself a fake girlfriend, but are you
actually…?”
“Ugh…”

So that’s where you swallow your breath? What’s with that serious reaction?
…Y-You… don’t tell me?

“T-That’s not it. As if Mashiro would like a pervert such as Aki.”

“Uwaaa, so sharp~ That’s the same as Senpai’s attitude towards me!”

“Eh?”

“Eh… what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“The same attitude… So basically, Aki’s feelings towards Iroha-chan are

also…?”

“Mhm? Ahh, my feelings for her are probably similar to how you feel
towards me.”

The part where you hate me so much that you keep telling me to go die.

After my response, Mashiro kept quiet. Iroha for her part only looked at
Mashiro with suggestive eyes and said “Hmmm, so that’s how it is~”

Though I don’t exactly know what’s happening, I know that this will no doubt
end in a bothersome way.

Iroha and Mashiro. Both of them had mysterious gazes as they looked at each
other—
“Ah…”

“………………………Ron,” Mashiro quietly but confidently declared.[12]

“Thirteen orphans. 48000.”[13]

“Eh, ehhhhhh?!”

“It’s a shame. Mashiro stole the win.”

“Ehhhh, a direct yakuman hit.[14] You really got her with that?”

“Nooo, my perfect win streak…”

“…Heh.”

Iroha paid with her chips, on the verge of tears, while Mashiro let out a small
giggle, gleefully accepting them.

But, there was something weird about that play just now. Iroha looked like
she had the upper hand there, but she lost that advantage, which led to her
loss.

Did something interrupt her concentration?

It was around the time the clock struck midnight. Mashiro’s welcoming party
had finished, and the various guests had returned to their rooms. My room
was a complete mess.
“They eat and play all they want, only to leave as soon they’re satisfied…
They’re a group of bandits, these guys.”

Well, I was the one who invited them here. Ozu was the only one who had
stayed to help me clean up, but I didn’t want to torture him anymore after all
that he had done for operation PT. Since Mashiro was just a guest, she was
excused, but I won’t forgive Iroha and Sumire. Though it’s not like I expected
anything from them to begin with.

Anyways, I’m glad that our operation was a success. With this, Mashiro’s
heart should’ve opened up quite a bit. With this, her future student life will
surely change for the better—

Yeah, I guess there’s no need to beat around the bush.

—I did a great favor to President Tsukinomori.

I’m neither a hero, nor a good person in general. I just chose the best outcome
for the members of the “5th Floor Alliance.” It’s was just a win-win
situation.

That’s why I was so aggressive like that. I knew very well that, if my method
had failed, I might’ve added another scar to Mashiro’s heart indefinitely. But
I didn’t hesitate. I really am the lowest of the low.

A person without a heart.

When I was younger, I was told these words.

In grade school, at a football tournament, when I never passed to a student

who clearly sucked at football, I was scolded by a teacher, who told me to
pay attention to other people’s feelings. Really, I had only acted the way that
I thought would give us the highest chance of winning the tournament, but that
turned out to be quite the cold decision on my part. After that, that kid said
the following:

“I was really glad that nobody passed to me.”

After all, that kid never wanted to participate in the first place. He didn’t
want to disappoint anyone and end up as a laughingstock. But everyone other
than him treated me like the bad guy. In retrospect, I can understand their
criticism.

I was lacking the perspective that there might be hurt or lonely people. In
order to achieve the results that I want, I disregard the feelings of other
people…

That was why they called me “A person without a heart.” I don’t know when
it started. Before I even had realized it, I had come to accept it as truth. But it
doesn’t matter anymore. I won’t waver. That’s the kind of person I am now.
Though there might be people who suffer from me choosing the most efficient
path—

At the same time, I want to think that I’ve managed to save certain people.

Knock Knock.

I was almost done cleaning up, and was just sweeping the floor when I heard
someone knocking. For some reason, it sounded like they were tapping on the
window of my balcony. Only someone from this floor would knock on the
window this late at night, I thought.
Growing tired of the constant knocking, I went to the window and unlocked
it. I quickly opened it and whacked the person standing there with the broom
in my hand in the same motion.

“Ouchies!”

A startled shriek rang out. The person in question sank to the floor, holding
her head in pain—

“What are you doing to your adorable kouhai?!”

“Oh, it’s just Iroha.”

“You totally knew that it would be me, right?!”

“That’s not true. I was only about 95% sure.”

“Just make it 100%! We all know that it was 100%!” My friend’s little sister
yelled out, still holding her forehead.

Even though it’s midnight, she’s the same noisy person as always.

“Mugu~! How cruel to do that without even knowing who it was!”

“The only intruder who would dare to do this is Iroha. Of course I have
every right to hit you.”

“…Senpai, are you the kind of person who will use domestic violence in the
future?”

“Don’t worry, I have no plans to make you domestic. Also, don’t just climb
onto my balcony like that.”
“That’s the best route to take so that my parents don’t spot me.”

“If the landlord spots you, they’ll definitely get mad at you either way. So
what do you want?”

“Well, I was thinking that I wanted to talk to Senpai~”

“Then you could’ve just stayed here earlier without going home.”

“I didn’t want to help clean up. So I waited for a bit. I hoped that you’d have
finished up by now.”

I didn’t even bother saying anything, since I had gotten used to this sort of
thing from her.

“Is it something serious?”

“A tiny bit.”

“…Then I guess I can listen.”

“Yay, yay~”

Turning her back to me, she rested her elbows on the guard rail. After putting
my sandals on, I followed suit and lined up next to her. Since summer had
only just begun, the wind at night was still a bit chilly on the skin. I took a
quick glance at Iroha and saw that she was wearing something like a thin
jacket over her pyjamas. Looking closer, she was rubbing her hands together,
probably to warm them up. What kind of business does she have that would
drive her to climb over to my balcony this late at night?
While I was wondering about it, Iroha put a hand on her cheek and turned
around to look at me.

“Good work on Mashiro-paisen’s case. It seems to have had quite the impact,
huh?”

“…Well, I can’t complain about the results, I guess.”

“Since you’re so tired, I might be willing to heal you a little bit. Do you want
to touch my breasts?”

“You’ll probably just laugh at me and say ‘That was a lie~’ again, so I’ll just
decline up-front.”

“Though the part about my breasts was a joke, I was planning on coming to
cheer you up, you know.”

“As if I could trust you. I won’t be fooled.”

“Well, whatever floats your boat~”

Pouting, she poked at the back of my hand with her finger.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen Senpai like that.”

“I’m sorry for being such a meddlesome bastard.”

“Nobody was bad-mouthing you, you know. There’s no need to be so

antagonistic.”

Puffing out her cheeks, she directed her gaze at the Kohinata household
balcony.
“Mashiro-senpai is your cousin, right?”

“Ahh, yeah. And also the daughter of a very important client.”

“Were you only acting kind so that you would get the results you wanted?”

“I wouldn’t do something so drastic for anything besides that,” I affirmed.

The decision to integrate Mashiro into the “5th Floor Alliance” was only for
my own good. I never once had any insolent feelings of wanting to save her.
It was nothing more than a way to benefit me and my comrades. So, of course
if would make sense for people to call me “Cold” and “A person without a
heart”—

“Senpai really is kind~”

That’s why I of all people knew that those meddling words from my Kouhai
were the furthest from the truth.

“Well, if I wasn’t so kind, you would be murdered right here and now by me,
and used as bait in the woods for some stray dogs.”

“Heeey, we’re having a serious discussion here.”

“……Sorry.”

I forgot that I was having a serious talk for once. Not to mention with Iroha.
But since she’s in the right here, I have to apologize.

“Senpai really is kind. After all—”

She paused for a moment, and lowered her voice so that nobody except me
would be able to hear it.

“You took me in as one of your comrades, all the while hiding the fact that I
contribute my voice to ‘5th Floor Alliance’ for their games.”

Yes. The only way we managed to get 1.000.000 downloads for such a small
indie game was because we had a professionally-written scenario, charming
character designs, an efficient and addictive core gameplay loop, and of
course—

Excellent voices for the characters.

There was a voice for every character, yet the credits did not mention any
voice actors or actresses. While her identity is kept a secret, Iroha shines
through with a charming voice and an incredible vocal range, allowing her to
voice over 20 characters differently. Even online there are countless
rumours. There are those who speculate that she’s a famous voice actress
who just wants her name to stay hidden, and others who believe that she’s
actually just an amateur with an immense amount of talent.

None of them would ever believe—

That the voices of both the male and female characters were actually voiced
by this amateur highschool girl right here, Kohinata Iroha!

“‘The holder of the seven prismatic color voices,’ or something like that…”

I remembered back when it was just the two—or rather, three—of us

recording. We were stuck inside a narrow studio together with a sound
engineer that we could trust, dumbfounded by Iroha’s multi-faceted acting.
“—You definitely are the person with that vocal talent, you genius.”

“Ehehe~”

“You’d better not get ahead of yourself, though.”

“Ehhh? I’m the type of person who works harder when I’m praised, though~”

“I don’t want to hear any complaints. Work harder. Really.”

After all, this talent she has was something that she gained on her own. While
just having free and gleeful fun, she was able to perform voice acting on this
level. I’m nothing more than a parasite who feeds off of her talent.

“Don’t be so cold~ The only reason I’m here is thanks to Senpai,” Iroha said,
voice full of gratitude.

“…I wonder.”

“Senpai, your filter is way too strong. The only people who see my real
character are you and the other people from the ‘5th Floor Alliance.’”

“Ahhh, in front of other people, you always act so gracefully, yeah.”

“It’s like this when I’m at home.”

“…Are you sure you don’t want to be more upfront with your friends?”

“I mean, if I do, they’ll find out about me being a voice actress~” Iroha said
in a light tone.

But, the content of her words was nothing like her tone.
“Our parents are completely against jobs in the show biz. We don’t even own
a TV, so the only way to watch anime and such is online.”

“And they never told you the reason for that, right? Why they hate it so
much?”

“Not at all. I think that Mama’s old job might be connected to it. But no
matter how much I try to dig into her past, I can’t find anything~”

“I see…”

I knew that the Kohinata household had some difficult circumstances. Maybe
that was related to why Ozu ended up as a shut-in when he was in middle
school—

Iroha doesn’t have freedom of choice, but instead has to walk down a path
sought out for her. That’s why, I—

I was starting to hope that the trapped bird, feathers drenched in the seven
colours, would one day soar through the wide sky.

Therefore, keeping Iroha’s activities under wraps is a must. Of course, Iroha

isn’t a member of our LINE group. Even her older brother Ozu thinks that
we’re this close only because she’s his little sister.

“Onii-chan, Sumire-chan-sensei, and even myself—we all have family

circumstances that don’t allow us to do what we want to do, and Senpai is
the one trying to free us from these shackles.”

“Though only through the power of banknotes.”

“In this society guided by capitalism, that’s not a problem at all~!”

Yes, stories like these are far too common. People are forced by their family
and parents, because of family reasons, to give up on their dreams, even
though they surely aren’t lacking in talent. In order to pull people out from
this deep swamp, the “5th Floor Alliance” was born.

As if I would let anyone ridicule their dreams. All of them hold incredible
talent compared to me, and they have the nerve to let it go to waste. That’s
why my goal is to use them to achieve the best outcomes for everyone. Since
I’m not able to become a story’s protagonist, a super-programmer, an author,
or a super-popular illustrator, I will make their talents my own.

—How I brought them all together like this is a story of the past. It’s a part of
my dark past, filled with emotions and actions that I would rather forget right
now. So whenever the conversation starts heading in that direction, I always
try to stop her with something like “Stop it already with that story”, but…
Kohinata Iroha is still my friend’s annoying little sister.

“I won’t stop, no matter how often you tell me to. After all, I’m eternally
grateful to Senpai.”

On top of being annoying, she won’t let me forget about the past.

“I keep telling you, that was just—”

“You only took the most efficient means to achieve the most desirable result,
right?”

“…Yeah, you’re right. So there’s no need for you to be thankful for anything.”

“But, because of that, I’m here, and as happy as I can be. Iroha-san thinks that
you should take responsibility and accept my gratitude.”
“…So that’s why you came here? To warn me?”

“Exactly~”

Making a circle with both her hands, her white teeth showed as she grinned.

“…Really, what a troublesome Kouhai.”

“I’m Senpai’s kouhai after all. You probably told yourself that you used this
welcoming party for Mashiro-senpai only for your own good or something,
just so that you wouldn’t have to give in and feel like a good person.”

“Guilty as charged… but really what’s wrong with that?”

Thinking like that only makes me feel depressed. Thinking that I did
something for someone else gives me the creeps.

Probably knowing that, Iroha separated her hands from the guard rail.

“It’s totally fine? But, just like it’s fine for Senpai to be wrapped up in his
self-loathing aura, I have the same right to try to pull him out of there~”

“…………”

“So I’ll admit it. Even if Senpai himself won’t, I know that Senpai is a good
person,” Iroha said as she tightly embraced me from behind.

It’s the same feeling as the no-bra incident. Maybe she’s not wearing anything
beneath those pyjamas. But that doesn’t matter at all.

This warmth, transmitted through her hug, I felt like accepting it all, and I
was assaulted by the feeling that my heart of stone was actually starting to
shatter.

—Ahhh, I’ve really been straining myself to much.

Then and there was the first time I had realized it.

The reunion with my cousin Mashiro and our stiff relationship, the ridiculous
stipulation from Oji-san to become her fake boyfriend, and the plan to save
this shut-in girl. Every single thing required so much mental energy that both
my body and heart had grown tired.

“……I’m being healed.”

“Ehehe, I’m gonna take that affectionate response, thank you very much~”

Her breath was hitting my back. Was it just my imagination, or was it really
that warm?

“………”

“………”

Both of us stood there in silence. It was a rather miraculous atmosphere.

Though I had been rather conscious of the soft feeling hitting my back, that
wasn’t the case anymore. Rather than that… thump, thump—I could clearly
feel Iroha’s and my heartbeats, mixing up to become one, and for some
reason, it didn’t feel that bad.

And finally, Iroha whispered.

“As your kouhai, I wish that you’d be a bit more honest… It’s lonely after
all.”
“…Lonely?”

“Being ‘a friend’s little sister’ is indeed a comfortable distance. But

wouldn’t it be even more wonderful to be ‘friends’? Like this, we can show
each other our honest feelings without needing to be embarrassed, and we
can stand on even ground.”

“…You’re feeling worried that we’re not closer? Do you hate our current
relationship?”

“Of course I would get worried. I mean, even our school years are—”

In the middle of her sentence, she swallowed her breath.

“There’s no need to sweat the small details! Anyways, Senpai’s menial

character is annoying, so Iroha-san wants you to change it!” She even had the
nerve to speak ill about me.

But there might be some truth behind her words. Other than with Ozu, I had
always kept a certain distance between myself and the other members of the
‘5th Floor Alliance.’ I thought that if I got any closer than necessary, our
performance would suffer.

That’s just how much I don’t trust myself. That’s also why becoming friends
with Ozu was so important. Clearing up Ozu’s shut-in status and arriving at
the desired outcome was only possible by becoming friends with him. Aside
from that, keeping anyone as close as a friend was too much for me.

But now that Tsukinomori Mashiro had joined in, our relationships would
surely start to change. Although it was by the order of Oji-san, we had
become fake lovers, and though it was purely fake, Mashiro had seen what it
meant to become closer in relationships with other people. That thin
connection of hers with Iroha and Sumire will surely grow thicker with time.

This gap, like a bomb, had to be defused as fast as possible. Iroha’s words
just now were a clear sign of that.

“Hey, Iroha.”

To the person behind my back, I asked a question.

“…What is it?”

This is not to express any goodwill. At the very least, we can act as “normal
friends.” Luckily, tomorrow is Saturday—which means there’s no school.

“Tomorrow, should we go shopping together?”

“Fue?! A-An invitation for a date? From this unsociable Senpai?!”

“Don’t diss me from this distance, you idiot,” I responded before continuing,
enjoying the return to the light-hearted atmosphere. “Let’s invite everyone
else too. Instead of this ‘friend’s little sister’ relationship, let’s try this
‘friends’ thing you were talking about.”

[Murasaski Shikibu-sensei]: And what should we do about AKI’s invitation?

[OZ]: I won’t go, you know.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: It figures~

[OZ]: As if I would be so unsophisticated as to intrude upon their wonderful
date event tomorrow.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: I know! Being torn between your friend’s little

sister and your fake girlfriend is a wonderful rom-com event! Another man
wouldn’t fit in there at all!

[OZ]: Just what I would expect from Sensei. Your deep knowledge
concerning rom-coms written for boys really is deep.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: I guess~ Now I just have to leave it to the

youngsters, and keep drawing my Onee X Shota in the midst of the
battlefield! Ahh, the industry is also moving towards Onee X Shota! What a
time to be alive!

[OZ]: Ahahaha, I guess I will waste my time watching Y-Tube. It seems that
AKI’s and Iroha’s relationship is moving forward perfectly on its own~.

I :I ’ F

I hate quietness. And even more than that, silence. Taking a shower and
enjoying the noise of the water covering my head is very calming to me.

I was standing in front of the full-body mirror, looking at the reflection of my

naked body. Objectively speaking, I have pretty good symmetry, a healthy
bust and butt… It’s all plenty good enough to attract the opposite sex. I’m
quite the beauty, aren’t I?
My face also looks outstanding, with bright, large eyes, paired with puffy,
voluptuous lips. Comparable to a high-performance doll from overseas. My
point is, you could only find around ten people who could match my beauty.

…Just kidding~ I just wanted to brag a bit.

But, this is how I, a cute girl like this, and a handsome man like Onii-chan
were born. You can probably guess that our parents aren’t exactly your run-
of-the-mill people, either. That’s why I think that they used to be in the
showbiz. But something bad happened, which is why they banned my brother
and I from the industry—or so I think.

As you might’ve already realized, I’m super good at reading the atmosphere.
Even when I was only a small child, I could always read the mood of our
parents, and through reading the mood in class, I became an honor student.
It’s only when I’m together with Senpai that I don’t have to focus on that at
all, and I can just be as annoying as I want—

That’s why I sometimes behave like a spoiled child. Sorry, Senpai. But it’s
also your fault.

When I was just barely in grade school, I was always secretly watching
anime on my smartphone since I wasn’t allowed to watch TV. I acted out
several made-up roles in my own performances for fun. In fact, I had so much
fun that before I’d realized it, I had become really good at acting, which
made me really happy.

Maybe I should start aiming to be a professional, I thought, and when I read

the atmosphere and realized that my mother would hate it if I went into
showbiz, he gallantly appeared in front of me and reached out with his hand
towards me.

“Don’t read the mood.”

“Don’t waste your talent in your precious lifetime because of other people.
That’s idiotic.”

With those words, he showed me a brand new world.

—And ever since then, Senpai has always been my beloved.

The first person I never had to be wary around. The first person around
whom I could let myself go. Maybe I’m always a bother because of my
annoying actions, but that’s his punishment for making me fall head-over-
heels for him and not realizing it.

Ahh, just thinking about it makes me angry.

‘Tomorrow, should we go shopping together?’

Even though I totally expected him to invite me on a date.

‘Let’s also invite the others’—he said! What’s up with that?!!!

—Well, that’s just like Senpai, though.

—And, even though it was a completely platonic invitation, my heart

wouldn’t stop pounding… Really, I’m such an idiot. I even took a shower in
the morning, because I couldn’t keep myself from getting my hopes up! Better
safe than sorry.
After all, both Onii-chan, who probably has better things to do than go out
shopping, and Sumire-chan-sensei, who surely wouldn’t bother watching
over her students on a weekend, will decline Senpai’s offer, I’m sure.

But, that person is different. That rival, who suddenly made her entrance as
his fake girlfriend.

Unlike me, she’s in the same year as him.

Unlike me, she’s in the same classroom as him.

Unlike me, she’s not just a friend’s little sister, but she has an even closer
relationship.

Every single thing is more profitable for her…! She’ll definitely come
tomorrow. I just know that Mashiro-senpai likes Senpai! And the most
frustrating thing is that she’s so unreasonably cute!

I polish my body after the bath, style my hair, put on some fragrance, but I
still don’t have the confidence that I can beat her. I cannot lose or let my
guard down. Though we’re both residents of the fifth floor, this is this, and
that is that.

Me vs. Senpai… ah, that’s on hold right now.

Today, it’s Me vs. Mashiro-senpai!

“Uuuuuuuuuu— I won’t lose——!”

 C 9:
M F ’ L S I A
T H F ’ E

“Three people, huh? I guess I really am unpopular.”

After entering the shopping mall we were supposed to meet up at, I let out a
sigh after spotting the people gathered in front of the “Uzabukurou Elephant.”

It was Thursday, at around 1pm in the afternoon. Even though the place was
filled to the brim with people, there were two girls who stood out like
diamonds. Although I had argued that it would have been fine to walk
together from our apartment complex, both of them overpowered me with
irrational arguments. What terrible inefficiency.

One girl had bright, golden-yellow hair, big, round eyes, and glittering skin
that perfectly symbolized her cheerful, lively attitude: Kohinata Iroha. She
was wearing headphones around her neck.

And right next to her was a girl who was clearly displeased as she shrugged
her shoulders. She had silver hair with a hint of blue, pure-white skin that
made you think she never went outside, and an outfit consisting of anti-
summer long sleeves and thigh-highs: Tsukinomori Mashiro.

—Ozu and Sumire. Those bastards had the nerve to skip out.
When I asked them about it, Ozu somehow had started watching a
presentation about some new overseas technology and was unable to stop,
and Sumire gave an excuse something along the lines of “I’m accumulating
my strength for the next summer doujin convention,” which basically meant
that she was busy binge-watching some shota anime or something equally
useless. And here I, Ooboshi Akiteru, was, having lost to a presentation and
shota. I think I need better friends.

Well, Ozu was probably weirdly being considerate for some reason, such as
saying that he had some business so that Iroha and I could be alone together.
Even though we don’t have a relationship like that… I don’t really need
consideration like that, but thanks.

And for some reason Mashiro is here as well. But she doesn’t really seem to
be in a good mood… Well, I can’t blame her for that I guess, considering that
she arrived early and had to wait with a girl whom she had just met a day
prior.

I had tried my best to get Ozu to come along, which was why I was running a
bit late like this. Let’s try to greet them cheerfully to help get them back into a
better mood.

“Hey.”

“Ah, Senpai, you’re so late! How could you make a girl wait like that?!”

“Die.”

“You both are so in sync when you’re bad-mouthing me.”

What was that atmosphere from before about then? And Mashiro-san, I
thought that you would grow a bit kinder to me from the other night, so why
are you already starting the verbal abuse?

“I told you via LINE that I would be running late, right?”

At the welcoming party, I had exchanged LINE details with Mashiro. I was
assaulted by a deep sadness upon seeing that her friend list was completely
empty. It was like she had gotten excited and made an account, but didn’t
have the courage to ask anyone for their contact info.

—I had tried my best to explain why I was late. However…

“It doesn’t matter. Whatever the reason, Mashiro hates what she hates,”
Mashiro pouted with no sign of her mood improving.

…Maybe I had been swept along with Iroha’s flow, but it seemed like I once
more needed to reevaluate if I needed to put a bit of distance between me and
these two. Well, let’s try pushing it a bit more, I guess.

“Let’s forget about that. The cinema is on the upper floor, right?”

Today’s plan is perfect. First, we’re going to go to the annex cinema ‘Tokage
Cinema’ and watch a movie. After that, we’ll stuff ourselves with some fast
food junk in the second floor food court while talking about what we thought
about said movie. Finally, we’ll walk around window-shopping, looking at
clothes and weird knick-knacks, or we’ll go to the game center. When it’s
time to go home, we’ll be nothing less than fast friends. Or at least, that’s the
plan.
As an aside, I really feel like it’s impossible for me to get closer to them in
any way. If I can just make Iroha satisfied, then that’s all that matters.

“Alright, now that everyone’s here—”

—Boing.

“Wha—?! What are you doing?!” I asked.

“What? I’m just linking arms, that’s all. Since we’re friends, it’s only
natural~”

“Don’t act like we’re girls who are friends! This is weird no matter how you
look at it!”

“Even if you say that, I’ve never had any girl friends before, you know? I
don’t know how skinship between girls works~”

“T-This girl…!”

Iroha looked up at me with a grin as she leaned against me like a cat.

Though it seems like she’s actually wearing a bra this time, this softness is
enveloping my arm completely!

This overwhelming feeling cannot be ignored no matter how I try to force my

thoughts elsewhere! Although withstanding it for a short time indeed sounds
plausible, I’m shaking at the prospect of my sense of reason being obliterated
from being exposed to this wicked softness for the rest of my life. While I
forcefully glared at this little devil, who had clearly found out my weakness
as a virgin, my arm was pulled deeper and deeper into the soft temptation,
like a magnet sinking into iron filings.
And suddenly, just when I was starting to build up a resistance to it, I was
blindsided by a pincer attack that I wasn’t prepared for in the slightest.

—Mofu.

“……”

“H-Hey…”

Now my free arm was also under attack. And it was being attacked by none
other than Mashiro, who was desperately forcing her eyes shut with an ><
expression. The softness of her chest was miserably nonexistent. The only
real feeling I got was the fluffy sensation of her clothing. Adding to this
feeling that was like touching a perfectly-groomed dog’s beautiful fur, there
was also a sweet, milk-like aroma directly assaulting my brain cells. I felt a
odd sense of calmness that reminded me of when my mother used to sing me
lullabies to get me to sleep.

—What is this?

A flower in each arm. The attention of everyone nearby was focused on us,
and it was no wonder why. Their gazes were slowly starting to hurt, so I
tried to pull away, but—

“H-Hey—”

“I-If this is something normal… that friends do… Then Mashiro also…”

“It’s not normal!”

“M-Mashiro doesn’t believe you. If Iroha-chan is doing it, then Mashiro will
do it too.”
She’s not listening at all…

If I couldn’t get Iroha to let go, I’d have no way to try to get rid of Mashiro.
While Mashiro was flushed red from ear to ear, Iroha kept clinging to me as
if trying to compete with her. If Mashiro is really that embarrassed, she
should just let go. Well, I guess reasoning won’t work with her. When I had
finally given up on resisting Mashiro, I felt the other side shaking.

“Ahahahaha! What is this, a harem!? Senpai is totally a shitty harem

protagonist right now! Ahahahaha!”

It was the shaking of laughter.

With our arms still linked, she hugged me from behind with her open hand,
laughing.

“Y-You…!”

“Fuuuu–! Fuuuu—! Fufu, ahahahahaha! I-I can’t, my stomach hurts…!”

“You’re laughing way too much! If you know how weird it is, then let go!
You’re just as embarrassed, aren’t you!?”

“I—don’t—want—to! If it troubles Senpai, then I don’t mind embarrassing

myself~!”

Why do you always have to be such a pain?! How would I even explain this
kind of scene to the guys from school? Or worse, how could I explain it to
Oji-san?!

Aware of the risk that faced me, I tried my best to shake her off of me, but she
had me in a perfect lock. Seeing that I couldn’t escape even though I was
squirming all over the place, she let out a giggle and lifted up an arm to point
forwards.

“Alrighto~? Then let’s gooooooooooooooo~!”

“Shit… I keep losing against her…” I grumbled while standing in front of the
ticket machine at the Tokage Cinema.

That feeling of breasts from earlier was no longer. While I was being
showered with gazes of envy and bloodlust during our walk to the cinema,
Iroha had brought up a deal that I couldn’t refuse.

—If you treat us to the tickets, popcorn and juice, I’ll free you, okay?

Since my shame gauge was already filled to the brim, I immediately

accepted. The moment I had known that it would just be me and two girls, I
was ready to treat them to an extent, but Iroha using me to this degree still
doesn’t suit me.

“Which one do you want to see?”

Looking at the electronic blackboard, which listed all the movies that were
available today, I asked Iroha and Mashiro which they’d prefer. And, after
they thought about it for a second—

“ ‘The Enemy’s Name.’ ”[15]

“ ‘Classic Jaws: Dancing to the Tune of the Shark.’ ”

“…Your opinions sure are in complete contrast.”

“A male-female pair of soldiers from opposing sides of the army switch
bodies, learn about the circumstances of the other party’s countries, and try to
bring peace. They end up as lovers in the end—it’s a super hit with over 200
million tickets sold! If you’re a couple, this is definitely the one movie to
watch!!”

“We’re not a couple.”

“You could even watch this movie as friends, and say ‘Ahhh, there are only
couples around us, how tiring~’ while cursing your own unpopularity!”

“I don’t want to display my unpopularity in public…”

While Iroha was forcefully recommending the movie she wanted to watch,
Mashiro also stepped forward.

“Going along with the mainstream opinion when choosing a movie is boring.
If it’s summer, it has to be sharks.”

“Why should I have to watch such a shitty movie on this precious holiday?!”

“Iroha-chan doesn’t get it. Watching a low-budget B movie while crying and
imagining the low production costs is fun…”

“Isn’t that a bit too pitiful!?”

To be honest, I couldn’t care less. However, the war between them

continued.

“Are you really satisfied with tropey developments that are made to induce
tears? That’s way too systematic. It’s no different than cutting onions,”
Mashiro said.
“Muuu, saying ‘I’m cool cause I go against the mainstream’ makes you seem
only more lame, Mashiro-senpai.”

“…Then, what exactly is the charm of ‘The enemy’s name’, Iroha-chan? Not
using the words of other people, what makes this movie so attractive to
you?”

“Ahhh~ are you starting a fight with me? You want to have a battle with me,
right? Don’t blame me when you cry later, okay? I’ve watched more movies
than you can imagine!”

“…After breaking into my home and using my Netflix subscription, that is.”

“Senpai’s home is my home, or something like that~”

“…?!”

It looked like a jolt of electricity ran through Mashiro’s body.

“Watching movies… at Aki’s house…? More than Mashiro can imagine…?

Are you there that frequently…?”

“Exactly~! Almost every day!”

“Hey Iroha, knock it off.”

That phrase is a one-hit kill for a loner. I mean look, Mashiro’s face turned as
white as chalk.

Since I was starting to feel bad for her, I tried to lend her a hand.
“I mean, our way of thinking is just too different. In order to move forward
without starting a fight, there’s but one option.”

“One option?”

“Yeah.”

As Iroha glared at me with a dubious look on her face, I told her the one
weird idea I had thought of.

“Everybody will just watch whatever movie they want, and we’ll meet up
here when everyone is done. It’s perfect, right?”

To begin with, everyone has their own taste in movies. You have no
obligation to go along with anyone else’s tastes. The idea of the three of us
watching one movie together is in itself highly inefficient to begin with.
Maybe it was because neither of them were convinced by my argument, but
they remained quiet for a bit.

“Then it seems like everyone is onboard. Then, to each his own freedom—”

“And rejected~!” “Yeah, rejected.”

“Why?!”

“Rather, how did you even think of that idea?! Why would you think that you
would go to the cinema with friends, and then everyone would just go and
watch the movie they want to see?! What nonsense is this?!”

“A bastard man who doesn’t understand a girl’s heart should just die.”
Iroha’s intense rebuttal and Mashiro’s calm yet fierce verbal abuse shattered
my male heart.

There really has to be limits to how heartless you can be, you two.

In the end, it was decided with a majority vote (rock paper scissors) that we
would be watching ‘The Enemy’s Name’. That movie filled with gunpowder,
empathy, gunshots, love, and screaming lasted for about two hours, and we
actually had a lot of fun. Though Iroha’s shit-eating grin while we exited the
cinema was annoying as hell, the movie was still good entertainment. Since it
was already time to eat lunch, we went to the food court to rest a bit and eat.
Although it was packed full of people, we somehow managed to get a four-
person table next to a window.

“Ah, could you let me through? I drank too much cola.”

“The toilet, huh?”

“Okay, that’s a minus point~”

“I get a delicacy minus point because of that? The women’s society is way
too strict.”

“Senpai is just too lax~ Is Mashiro-senpai fine not going?”

“Y-Yeah. Mashiro is fine.”

“…Is that so? Well, make sure that your bladder doesn’t swell up too much.
I’ll be going, then~”

You say I have no delicacy, but you openly say words like bladder’?
“Phew.”

Once Iroha vanished into the crowd, Mashiro put one hand on her chest and
let out a sigh.

“Were you nervous?”

“Yeah… Mashiro still isn’t good with Iroha-chan.”

“Ah. Yeah, she can be annoying.”

“N-No, that’s not it. Mashiro knows that she’s not a bad girl. Rather, Mashiro
feels bad because she still isn’t good with her.”

After that welcoming party, my relationship with Mashiro had improved

quite a bit. Before, she wouldn’t so much as spit in my direction, but now I’m
occasionally allowed to hold normal everyday conversations with her.
Though she returns to her previous attitude from time to time, it doesn’t take
long for her to calm down again. But a huge part of that was probably
because we were the same age, in the same year, and in the same class.
Suddenly befriending everyone else might be too much of a hurdle. Not to
mention that Iroha and Mashiro mix about as well as water and oil.

“I would say that it’s pretty normal to have trouble dealing with Iroha. Even I
have problems with her from time to time.”

“You’re wrong. It’s not like that.”

Looking at her hands and gripping her thighs, she forced out a quivering
voice.

“That intense attitude makes Mashiro remember a friend she hated.”

Ahhh, so that’s what it was.

The incident that forced her into becoming a shut-in is still lingering in the
back of her mind, and she’s projecting it onto Iroha.

“Though I have no intention of forcing it out of you, I’m willing to listen if

you want to talk.”

What happened? Because of whom? What did they do to her?

I knew that if she wanted to talk, what she would say would be very heavy
and personal, so I steeled my resolve to listen to the very end.

“………………”

“………………”

However, only silence followed.

Mashiro’s eyes started to get damp, and her mouth was still shut tight. She
was probably trying to formulate the words that she wanted to say, and just
when it looked like she was about to talk—

“Ohhhh? If it isn’t Tsukinomori-san~”

The confident look on her face shattered into a thousand pieces.

“……?!”

Mashiro’s shoulders twitched. Her lips lost all color, and it looked like she
had seen a ghost.
—I’d never seen this expression on her face before. This clearly wasn’t on
the same level as the toilet incident. This wasn’t an expression of anger or
fury.

Fear.

Her eyes were brimming with fear.

“Kyahaha! And she’s with a man!”

“Dropping out of school and still getting all lovey-dovey with a man at
lunch? What a shitty joke, ahahaha!”

Two girls spoke out with voices so loud that my head started to hurt.

One had a flashy hair colour. A high school girl.

The other one had rather normal hair that didn’t hide her spiteful eyes. The
personification of a gyaru.

You could tell at a glance that they weren’t here to play nice as they
approached Mashiro.

“…Umm… Ahh…”

“Eh, what is it~? I can’t understand you if you don’t stop mumbling~?”

“Is this guy Tsukinomori-san’s boyfriend? Hmmm?”

Without holding back, that high school girl brought her face closer to mine. It
was a face with layers of makeup that didn’t suit her at all. She had
absolutely no fashion sense. Maybe it was perfume, but some disgusting
smell was tickling my nose.

“Ahahahahaha!!! What a surprise! They really suit each other~!!!”

“He looks like the type who watches anime or reads books in the corner of
the room! And gets all horny because of some idol!”

“Ahhh, what a poor dude! He’s only able to become friends with someone
like her! Don’t you feel sorry for him?”

…Oof.

So people like this exist outside of fiction? They don’t even know how to
properly behave in public. They’ll have it hard once they step out into real
society. The relaxed attitude that beauties and handsome men have is terrible,
but the personalities of these pigs really are the worst.

—No wonder Mashiro is having trouble dealing with them. They probably
belong to the group that bullied Mashiro before. Then, are they bullying her
out of envy? Mashiro is indeed a beauty, so they must feel like there’s a rift
between them. Also, she had mentioned that she went to a famous all-girls
high school before, right? How tragic that girls with fucked-up heads like
theirs can actually go to a rich girl’s school.

While thinking these thoughts, I looked at them, eyes filled with pity.

“…For some reason, this guy’s eyes are pissing me off.”

“Did you get mad because we told you the truth?! Ahahaha! How about you
use your fists then? Ahaha!”
“Hehehe! Wait, stop. It makes me remember that video! My stomach hurts!
Ahahahaha!”

Is that so? Then I won’t hold back.

I buried my fist deep into that disgusting girl’s face. Even her ten layers of
makeup didn’t help soften the impact, and her nose ended up in a weird
position. After she collapsed onto the floor, I kept hitting her blood-drenched
face with full force, completely ignoring her cries for help. Once those cries
stopped, I turned to the other bitch and gave her a body blow head-on. When
she collapsed, I did the gave her the same treatment.

—Or so I fantasized. But this is what I really wanted to do. When I look at
Mashiro’s frightened face, I can’t help but think of how refreshing it would
be to pummel some common sense into them with my fists. Sadly, this is a
country that is based on a strict set of laws: Japan. Using physical violence
as a countermeasure for verbal abuse is a crime. Imagine what my future
would look like if I really took that course of action. These little pigs
certainly aren’t worth throwing everything I’m trying to build away like that.
That’s why I took the more peaceful option.

“And why exactly are you here being a bother? Can’t you read the mood?”

“…Hmm? What’s your problem?”

“Uwaa, so cool. That’s a wonderful boyfriend you’ve got there,

Tsukinomori-san.”

Though I somehow I had gotten one of the girls to shut up, the more gyaru-
looking one kept bothering Mashiro. So she won’t back down with just a bit
of glaring on my part. Really, such a bother.
Like she had just remembered something, the gyaru suddenly changed the
subject.

“Hey hey, Mister Wonderful Boyfriend-kun, have you heard? You know,
about that?”

“Ahhh, I want to know too!? Did she make you read that cool (LOL) novel
too?”

“……!”

Suddenly, Mashiro’s face stiffened, and she glared at the two girls. Now her
gaze was filled with something besides fear.

“Stop… Don’t…”

“Ehh? I can’t hear you~”

“So you kept it a secret from your boyfriend, huh? Sorry for telling him~”

When Mashiro tried her best to stop them with a weak voice, both of them
roared with laughter.

If an outsider like me can be annoyed by hearing their laughter once, it must

be even worse for Mashiro herself. This was probably what every day
looked like before she transferred. No doubt about it, anybody would stop
going to school after being exposed to something like that.

A novel… Though I don’t know the details, this must be related to why she
wanted to transfer schools. Though I was interested, I wasn’t planning on
letting those two blabber on.
“—Will you stop it already?”

Raising my voice, I glared at them with a hostile gaze.

“Eh…?”

“W-What is it? That’s such a serious face.”

Both of them flinched. Maybe they realized that I was actually pissed. It
seemed like they really were nothing more than pigs, and right now they felt
the killing intent of a wild animal.

“Everything about you—your voices, your faces, and your personalities—are

such a pain. Get lost.”

“W-What’s up with that!”

“My pack of boys are really strong, you know!”

“And what of it? Shall we see whose team is the most dangerous?”

I wasn’t lying. After all, my team is very dangerous, in a lot of ways. A

teacher who draws Onee x Shota doujinshi gets about a 98 on my danger
meter.

“W-What do you mean by dangerous…?”

“H-Hey, isn’t this pretty bad? This guy’s face looks serious.”

Both of their faces lost their colour. Just how honest can you be? Apparently
they’re fantasizing about what I said all, on their own. One small provocation
has them shaking all over the place. I didn’t expect that.
“E-Ewww. Aren’t you an idiot for getting so serious?”

“…Hey, let’s go. I don’t wanna be involved with this creep anymore.”

Leaving their usual vocal vomit behind, they walked away.

“Though that was a bit more than close, we somehow managed to pull
through… Are you okay, Mashiro?” I asked Mashiro, watching as the two
girls grew disappeared into the crowd.

“………”

However, Mashiro continued to shiver, not answering my question. She

must’ve been really scared. In this scenario, I had no clue what to do besides
showing concern. I wonder if I would be able to do better if I had more
experience with love and women like Oji-san does. Just like Iroha said, I had
no idea how to handle a woman’s heart, so I was unable to do anything
appropriate.

“So stuff like that was why you dropped out of school.”

“Yeah…”

“What novel were they talking about?”

In the end, I just decided to ask about what had interested me the most.

“…I’m sorry.”

Thump

However, Mashiro just jumped up from her chair and ran off.
“Hey!”

I stretched my hands out to stop her, but I couldn’t manage to grab ahold of
her arm. My hand grabbed empty air. She vanished even faster than when I
had chased her yesterday.

Just now, she had met those girls who bullied her in her previous school, and
she had once more run off to be alone. It looked like she never wanted the
subject of the novel to come up.

And right then, Iroha returned.

“Senpai, what happened?!”

“Iroha, did you see what happened just now?”

“I just caught a glimpse from afar, but I got the gist of it. You suddenly were
cornered by some bad-looking girls, and when you were done talking,
Mashiro-senpai suddenly stormed off—”

“So you got most of it. That saves me a lot of time.”

This was really different than what I had expected to happen on a day when
we should be getting closer as friends. I can’t just ignore Mashiro like this.
She certainly didn’t seem fine, and if I can somehow help relieve her trauma,
then I want to do that. And my annoying Kouhai seemed to share that same
sentiment, it seems.

“Let’s look for her, Senpai!”

“Yeah…! I’ll take the upper floor; you search the lower!”
“Understood!”

With these few words, she agreed to my plan, and we split up.

She was nowhere to be found. No matter where I searched, that silver hair of
hers never entered my view. Did she manage to hide behind other people
while she went down the escalator? Maybe we just barely missed each
other… No, stop thinking about that. Iroha has the bottom floor covered. I
have to trust her and focus on the top floor. Really, it’s only been trouble with
Mashiro lately. It feels like I’ve just been chasing after her these past few
days. Just how long does this Snow White plan on running away until she’s
satisfied?

I decided to stop grumbling to myself. I wiped away the sweat on my

forehead and continued searching. Alas, I had no success. Just where in the
world did she run off to?

“Searching blindly for her is pretty ineffective, huh?”

I arrived at that conclusion. I stopped running around aimlessly and started

thinking. In order to accomplish Oji-san’s mission, I have to look after
Mashiro. I’ve been constantly chasing her these past few days, both
figuratively and literally. If I use the knowledge that I’ve gained during that
time, I might be able to find her.

The day of the welcoming party, while trying to run away from me, she
entered that back alley. And after that, she ran up the riverbank.

…Is this it?

Though I didn’t have much evidence, it was potentially useful information for
this game of cat-and-mouse. Rather than blindly searching, I decided to
follow that intuition.

The place she had chosen to run away from me was a dark back alley. And
the second hint was that it was a high place she ran off to. That just means I
have to search for the highest, darkest place in this shopping center!

—The cinema.

And I didn’t even have to think about which theater she would be in. There’s
only one movie she would want to watch. Of course, it all made perfect
sense now.

The perfect place to watch idiotic humans being drenched in their own blood
and screaming for help.

“F*CK!!! FU*K!!! FUC*!!!”

“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

“OH MY GOD!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

The moment I set foot into this dark place, I was assaulted by a flood of
vulgar screams, sounded similar to something ripping and tearing, and calm,
yet somewhat shocked gasps. It was something like a small box which could
fit around 100 people.
Of course, there was only one movie that could produce all those sound
effects; ‘Classic Jaws: Dancing to the tune of the shark.’ Walking through the
rows of seats, there was one person who stood out, and I sat down next to
her. It was the highest row the farthest in the back, where you could see the
entire screen. Without any change in her expression, Mashiro just resolutely
gazed at the screen and watched the movie.

“Is it fun?”

I called out to her in a quiet voice so as to not bother the other people there.
When I did, she answered without even glancing at me.

“……It’s the best.”

“You really look like you’re having fun.”

“The girl who just died was a popular member of the cheerleading team, and
she was always bullying an otaku boy.”

“It’s like she was born to end up as prey.”

“She had it coming,” Mashiro said. She didn’t look happy at all.

I sat down next to her and also started watching the movie.

The characters onscreen right then were a blonde-haired gyaru, who would
definitely end up as shark food soon, an otaku boy who looked like he was
destined to survive, an older Chinese woman, a comic-relief black person,
and some actors whom I might’ve seen before.

A completely useless scene started playing, which showed them driving a car
while listening to music. Mashiro chose this time to open her mouth. She
probably knew that this scene would continue for a while.

“…Why did you come here?”

“To watch a movie.”

“Stop lying, you stalker.”

But immediately after she spat out those words…

“…I’m sorry. I’m always bad-mouthing you,” she apologized with a grimace.

“Saying what you want to say to the people who deserve it is way better than
forcing yourself to hold back. Since our relationship only goes as far as the
contract and the promise, you can say whatever you want to me. So don’t
worry about it.”

“Aki…”

“You must’ve wanted to say the same kinds of things to the girls from before,
right? ‘Mind your own business.’ ‘Leave me alone.’ ‘Hating me is okay, but
don’t interfere with my life.’ ‘Don’t follow me everywhere, you damned
stalking bastards’—and so on.”

“……Yeah.” Still grasping her knees, she softly nodded.

The shell-earrings on her ears were faintly shaking. And with a self-
deprecating smile, she started speaking to me.

“When Mashiro was younger, she was afraid of strangers… she couldn’t talk
to other people… and because she wasn’t able to make friends, Mashiro was
always alone—”
She continued to search for solitude, but she felt bad for her parents paying
the school fees, so she still went to school.

“A-And, you know, Mashiro just forced her eyes away from that daily life.
Trying to escape from reality, she started writing novels. Normally, she
would only do that at home, but since she was always alone in the classroom,
she thought that she might as well work on it. And when she took out her
notes, those girls from before saw them—and started spreading the
information in the classroom—”

Her shaking, teary voice gave out at the end of the sentence. Those traumatic
memories had probably assaulted her again. In this moment, it was painfully
obvious how much she had suffered because of the other girls’ pointless
jealousy.

“Those novels that Mashiro used to run away from reality… she didn’t want
anyone to find out about them. She was told all sorts of things—‘So you’re
just a loner,’ ‘How pitiful you are,’ and whatnot—it was horrible. Even
Mashiro has pride, you know. She knows that she doesn’t have any value,
and that she can’t compete against those outgoing, always-happy girls. But,
being ganged up on like that still hurts…” Sniff, sniff.

Burying her face into her knees, she hid her crying face. She probably didn’t
want me to see her like this. She wanted to protect her pride, and did this as
a way to shelter herself. I understood. She was afraid of showing weakness.
To her, it looked like everyone around her was strong. To her, anyone who’s
weak is supposed to be all alone. She probably isn’t even aware of it. It’s
probably a subconscious belief.

That’s just who Tsukinomori Mashiro is.

But—

“You know, I don’t mind those kinds of novels.”

“Eh?”

“Actually, I know another person who started writing novels in order to run
away from reality. And right now, they’re working as a professional writer.
I’m even one of their fans. Have you heard of the author Makigai Namako?”

“Ah… Y-Yeah. Well, that’s…”

“If you have the slightest interest in otaku culture, you’ve probably heard of
him. He’s a super-popular author at UZA Publishing.”

And even more than that, he’s a reliable member of the “5th Floor Alliance.”

“One time, he wrote ‘I want to destroy this joke of a reality, which is why I
wrote this book’ in his afterword. I was really moved when I read that…
Why do you think that was?”

“M-Mashiro doesn’t know. Why?”

“Because I sympathized with the contents of the novel completely.”

“Eh?” Mashiro’s eyes opened wide.

“I completely agreed with the values depicted in the novel. Other people
were a bother to oneself. Those bastards were never happy until they had
destroyed everything you’d worked hard for… I could sympathize with
everything: The discontent towards society, and the pissed-off attitude.”
“So Aki’s the same…”

“And I’m not the only one who thinks that. After all, the novel was a huge
hit.”

To be honest, it’s not like I’m a professional book critic. Reading a book
does take time, after all. Even so, there are times when I’m fascinated by
books like that one. It felt like it cut deep into my heart, perfectly
synchronizing with the discomfort that young people in today’s world have—

And while I was going on and on about how great Makigai Namako’s
charming writing style was…

“M-Mashiro understands already, so stop.”

For some reason, Mashiro stopped my fanboying with a face as red as a

tomato.

“Sorry, I got a bit too into it. The contents of it are just so similar to your
situation right now. Though that person is actually a guy, and the
circumstances might be slightly different, he still wrote novels to escape
reality. And he’s garnered empathy from countless other people. So don’t you
think that’s proof enough that there’s nothing for you to be embarrassed
about?”

“That’s… But, that person just writes behind a pen name, right…? He might
just be some random loser hiding behind that name. Wouldn’t it be
embarrassing for him if the people around him found out that he wrote
something like that?”
“Well, I can’t exactly stop an author from feeling embarrassed about what he
writes. But I won’t deny his hobby. Not to mention that there are countless
other people supporting him, so please understand that.”

“…Yeah.”

She touched her earrings, her cheeks still coloured a faint red. But she
immediately changed her expression.

“Aki is… okay. But, that girl… Iroha-chan, Mashiro can’t help but think that
she’s the same way.”

“The same as those obnoxious girls from before?”

“……Yeah. Sorry, Mashiro knows how rude it sounds. But she gets the
feeling that we wouldn’t be able to fit in well with one another…”

I see. It’s true that the annoying attitude Iroha uses around me might be
comparable to what those girls were doing. Disregarding the trouble that
she’s making, just so that she can get the biggest kick out of it… That’s
something that they might have in common.

If someone who didn’t know any better saw something like that, then it’s
no surprise that they would misunderstand.

“If Mashiro gets friendly with Iroha-chan, she will probably just start teasing
her sooner or later… As soon as Mashiro starts thinking that, her body
freezes up and she starts talking and acting defensively.”

“Don’t worry.”

“Huh?”
I softly put my hand on Mashiro’s head, who was still shaking and speaking
with a crying voice.

“It’s true that she’s an annoying girl, but she’s fundamentally different from
those other girls.”

“But—”

“If Iroha really starts hurting you with her teasing, tell me. If that one-in-a-
million chance really happens, I’ll lecture her so much that she starts crying.”

“Aki…”

“Don’t worry, it’ll be fine. She’s annoying, but she’s not a bad person. Do
you really think that a person like me, who works in the most efficient way
possible, would put up with her if she really was that bad of a person?”

“Relax, and follow me,” I said, holding out my hand towards her.

For a moment, Mashiro only gazed at it without saying a single thing.

“……Yeah.”

Slowly but steadily, she placed her hand on top of mine.

Though the movie was still playing, we left the cinema and went to the first
floor of the shopping mall. I had sent Iroha a message that I had found
Mashiro, but I still hadn’t gotten a ‘read’ confirmation.

Is she still searching around on the first floor? I have to tell her that I found
Mashiro as soon as possible. I wouldn’t want to worry her any further.
“………”

While still firmly grasping Mashiro’s trembling hand, I glanced around at my

surroundings. Though Iroha’s figure would normally stand out, this mall’s
size was not to be underestimated. And unlike Mashiro, with her hair colour
and weird fashion sense, Iroha looked more like a typical high school girl.

But then I heard a cackling voice which made me stop in my tracks. At a rest
area near the stairs, I spotted two girls sitting on a bench. Another girl with
bright hair was standing in front of them, talking to them. The members of this
group were the girls from before and Iroha. I ducked into the shadows, close
enough to clearly make out what they were talking about.

“What’s with you? Are you a friend of Tsukinomori-san?”

“No, we’re not friends at all~”

In response to that wary question the girl had asked, Iroha just let out a
giggle. When she did, the other girl seemed relieved, and her friend regained
her talkative attitude.

“Ohh, I seeee~ Were you in the same class as her before she transferred?
Why are you searching for that gloomy girl~?”

“Ahh, don’t tell me… the guy?!”

“Ahhh, I see! So Tsukinomori-san was together with her boyfriend after all~”

“Ohhh, is that so~!”

With a grin on her face, Iroha gleefully talked with the other girls. In
response, Mashiro softly whispered.
“See, that same face… they’re totally the same.”

“I wonder… Just keep watching.”

“Eh…?”

Now this is where the real fun begins.

“Then, you two are the worthless trash who were unable to catch up to
Mashiro-senpai, I see~”

With a smile still plastered on her face, Iroha dropped this bombshell.

“…Eh?”

The two girls’ eyes opened wide. The same was true of Mashiro. Everyone
except for Iroha and I looked like they had no clue what was going on.

“On one side, we have the beautiful and cool Mashiro-senpai, on a date with
her wonderful boyfriend on this blissful holiday, and on the other side, we
have a couple of shitty brats with their shitty personalities, wasting their
precious lives, continuing to be human trash… Ahhh, God, how cruel!! This
is just too cruel to watch!!”

Raising her hands up in the air like she was praying, Iroha spoke like she
was singing towards the heavens above. The two girls were starting to get
pissed from clearly being ridiculed by Iroha’s musical performance
resembling a musical.

“Y-You, are you looking for a fight?!”

As one of them forcefully stood up from the bench, brimming with fury, Iroha
just pushed her finger against the girl’s chest and brought her face closer.

“Don’t you dare waste your breath with that half-assed resolve of yours,
you small fry.”

“?!”

The tone of Iroha’s voice changed completely. Just like the voice of a gang
leader in a manga or movie, it was deep and heavy, and it reverberated deep
inside your stomach. A super-cool voice that you wouldn’t expect from
someone who normally talks all frilly and girly.

“I-Iroha-chan…? W-What’s this about?” Mashiro whispered.

“It’s something like a special skill of hers. Though it’s nothing more than a
bluff, it should be more than enough.”

This is the secret weapon of the “5th Floor Alliance.” The one who holds a
rainbow of voices: Our voice actress. It should come as no surprise that she
was responsible for the voice of every single character in our game. Yes,
even the male characters. One of those male characters had the voice of a
murderous yankee.

In response to Iroha’s verbal attack, the girl once more sat down, her knees
giving way.

“D-Don’t tell me, that man from before…?!”

“Tsukinomori-san has some really scary people backing her up?!”

Unable to move, both of them just looked up at Iroha, their eyes filled with
fear and despair. However, Iroha wasn’t quite done yet.

“I heard about everything you little shits did to Mashiro-senpai. You’re really
nothing more than trash wearing human skin, huh?!”

“Y-You just said that you weren’t Tsukinomori-san’s friend…”

“True, I’m not her friend just yet. But that doesn’t have anything to do with
this.”

There was an overwhelming aura surrounding Iroha.

“I just can’t stand it, you know. You bastards are rotten to the core. I’m sorry,
but I just have to ruin that shitty makeup of yours until your true ugly faces
shine through. Come on, grit your teeth, you damned bitches—”

“Hyah—!?”
“I’m… sorry. Forgive… me.”

Iroha raised her fist, and the two girls squeezed their eyes tightly shut.

“Let’s stop right there,” I said.

“……!”

When I stopped her by grabbing her wrist, she turned around to glare at me.

Oooooh, scary. Even though this is nothing more than a fake personality of
hers, it’s still scary.

“Ha, ha, no… No…!”

“So…rry… I won’t… do it…anymore…”

When I looked over at the girls, they were cowering on the ground, their
makeup running because of their tears, their ugly faces visible from where the
makeup had washed off.

“It’s just like I said. I have the annoying ones on my side. I’d really advise
you to leave Mashiro alone. If you happen to run across her in the city by
chance, you’d better not call out to her. I won’t ask you to make up for what
you’ve done, so just act like you don’t know her and it’s fine. Okay?”

In response, the two girls nodded furiously.

“Alright, treaty established. That’ll be all. See ya.”

“Y-Yesssssssssssssssssssss!!!”
“I’m very sorry!!!”

After we quickly shook hands, both of them stood up and dashed away. After
they disappeared into the distance, Iroha lost all the strength in her arms.

“—Senpai, nice timing… You really saved me there…”

As if that attractive male voice from before had just been a joke, her knees
buckled from underneath her and she sat down on the floor.

“What kind of kamikaze attack was that? That was way too dangerous.
Everything would’ve been over with if you’d hit them.”

“I have absolutely zero fighting skill, after all! Haaah, I’m glad that you came
before they figured out my real character.”

“Really, what a bothersome Kouhai.”

Yes, that yankee persona she had assumed was no more than acting. Even if
she could apply pressure with her vocal strength, that fist of hers was nothing
more than that of small fry. If they were to find out how weak she really was,
everything she had built up would’ve crumbled to the ground. But for Iroha to
go this far—

“You must’ve been pretty pissed too, right?”

“Of course I was. Those pieces of trash messed with another person’s life so
much that the victim became a shut-in. I could barely keep myself from
vomiting right there. I still can’t calm myself down, and I can’t read the
atmosphere in the slightest. Luckily Senpai can, so I don’t have to worry
about it~”
“You always have to leave everything to me, don’t you?”

“And Senpai is totally fine with it, right? I’ll have you take responsibility~”

“Well, I don’t really care… And Mashiro, how are you? This is Iroha.”

“Hoeh?”

When I raised my voice and called out towards the person who was hiding in
the shadows, Iroha let out a surprised gasp. Her face formed an awkward
expression when she saw Mashiro trotting towards us.

“So Mashiro-senpai saw that, huh? I’m sorry for doing something all on my
own.”

“…No, Mashiro also… has to apologize.”

“Eh? For what?”

“Mashiro had the wrong idea about you. She thought that you were the same
as them—”

“But I was different, I guess.”

“……Yeah.”

Yes, Mashiro had misunderstood. She had thought that sooner or later Iroha
would act like those other girls and bully her. But that wasn’t the case.
Kohinata Iroha would never have ill will of this level. Everything she did
was nothing more than putting her acting skills to use.
Iroha’s (my friend’s little sister’s) annoyingness wasn’t half-assed. Her true
annoyingness wasn’t just something like ‘Ahhh, she’s annoying but also kind
of cute.’ That is just the tip of the iceberg.

—And there is absolutely no need for her to direct this ultimate act of malice
towards Mashiro. After all, she’s a good person.

There is absolutely no way that Iroha would unreasonably show malice.

And Mashiro must’ve guessed that as well. Though she still didn’t seem to be
comfortable, she tried to smile at Iroha, and said.

“Please, become friends… with Mashiro.”

“Ehehehe, of course~”

And just like that, Mashiro became friends with my friend’s little sister.

…It looks like there’s another complicated relationship in my life, huh?

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: I wonder if everything’s going well?

[OZ]: You’re this worried?

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: Iroha-chan and Mashiro-chan are

personifications of an outgoing beauty and an antisocial beauty, respectively.
Both of them have their own charms, but I think that they’ll have to confront
each other at some point.

[OZ]: It’s fine. Since they’re polar opposites, the distance between them is
exactly the same. The hidden negativeness of the outgoing type, and the strong
desire of the antisocial type, with Aki stuck in the very middle. That’s why
he’s managed to build up a group like this. It’s because he has the strength to
do so—He managed to play it off pretty well this time, too. Somehow.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: And just like that, another girlfriend candidate

has appeared beside him…

[OZ]: As long as the relationship between the candidates doesn’t get cold
and stuffy, and we get a pleasant, cheerful battlefield, that would be best. I
can watch that kind of battle unfold with a smile on my face.

[Murasaki Shikibu-sensei]: You have such a deep understanding of all of this,

I see.
E
 P 1: T C P ’ R

“I expected nothing less from you, Akiteru-kun. Bring out results of this level
in such a short amount of time.” Tsukinomori Makoto clinked my glass of
juice with his as he gave a toast. He took a sip of his sparkling wine.

“She’s enjoying her new school, and she’s even made friends. It even looks
like she’ll be able to forget those memories and experiences from her
previous school pretty soon. It was right of me to leave it to you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“The ‘5th Floor Alliance’ really has a wonderful community. Fufu~” The
president winked with one eye, seeming pleased.

By the way, that wink wasn’t directed towards me, but rather towards the
waitress who kept taking furtive glances at our table. When she saw him
wink at her, her cheeks turned a rosy pink and she fled into the kitchen.

“You’re still closing in on her?”

“Just one more time.”

“…Just don’t get arrested.”

“Ha ha ha.”

No, that isn’t the part where you should laugh.

“Don’t worry. I’m an ally of the female race.”

“A true enemy would always pretend to be an ally…”

“That reminds me, that girl who became friends with Mashiro belonged to
the ‘5th Floor Alliance,’ right? Kohinata Iroha?”

“Eh, you heard about that already? Well, she’s really not a member,” I
hurriedly corrected him.

But with a smirk on his face, President Tsukinomori continued.

“She’s the voice actress who did all of the voices for your game, right?”

“…Why would you think that?”

“I heard that your voice actress has an immense talent for acting. And there is
only one person around you who would fit that description.”

“Since we didn’t give credit to them, there might even be multiple actors—”

“What are you saying? I knew from the very start that there was just one
voice actress.”

“Eh?”

“You know, I had to work my way up here. No matter how good she is at
changing her voice, I can still pick up the similarities between them.”

Just how perceptive can you be? Well, it’s not like I expected anything less
from this one-of-a-kind company president.

“…Ahh, that reminds me.”

I remembered what President Tsukinomori had said before.

“The programmer OZ, the illustrator Murasaki Shikibu-sensei, the scenario

writer Makigai Namako, an unknown voice actress, and the producer and
director Aki… that is, you.”

He didn’t say “voice actresses” plural, he just said “voice actress.” That
means that he had known back then that it was just one voice actress
responsible for all of the voices.

“Umm… about Iroha working as the voice actress—”

“I know. You want me to keep it a secret, right? Since you tried to lie to me
about it, I have no intention of leaking it.”

“…That really helps.”

“Now then, back to the main topic. This Kohinata Iroha-kun—”

He stopped for a moment. Changing his expression into a serious one,

President Tsukinomori finally continued.

“—She’s not your actual girlfriend, is she?”

“I would bet my internal organs that that’s not the case,” I immediately
replied.

His face looked so serious, but what he said was still as much of a joke as
ever. Seriously? As always, I can’t read him at all.

“Mhm, that’s good to hear. Please, continue to enjoy your student life with
Mashiro and the others.”
“Of course. I’ll do that.”

“By the way, I really am happy that you’re so friendly towards Mashiro, but I
won’t forgive you if you really take her as your real lover, okay?”

“I told you, it’s fine. You’re such a worrywart, President.”

Though my feelings towards her had changed, they were still far from
romantic ones.

“Mashiro doesn’t feel anything towards me either. I’m sure of that. Worrying
about it is a waste of energy,” I tried to assure him.

After rinsing his throat with another sip of wine, President Tsukinomori
muttered something under his breath. His voice though was lost in the din of
the customers and employees around us.

‘…He’s a good man, but his stubbornness is the fly in the ointment…’
 P 2: M ’ D

How many years has it been since Mashiro was able to wrap herself in her
bedsheets and feel this happy? Mashiro couldn’t stop grinning as she gazed at
the phone screen, which showed Iroha-chan’s LINE account. She really is
glad that she was unreasonable with her father enough to transfer to Aki’s
school.

Indeed, Mashiro was worried that even if her surroundings changed, she
herself wouldn’t be able to. But that worry had been washed away. Fiddling
with the smartphone, Mashiro opened up a certain app.

As if those people could hear her, she let out her honest feelings.

“Really, thank you so much. AKI, OZ and Murasaki Shikibu-sensei.”

Those were the names of the people who had always supported Mashiro
while she was a shut-in.

They were Mashiro’s important comrades, who had never once complained
that she wouldn’t show them her face. She was invited countless times to
their offline parties, but she was too scared to show herself, and was always
unable to take that final step. But now, while hiding her identity and her
name, Mashiro was finally able to stand next to them.

“Voice-changing technology has gotten way too advanced recently.”

The voice that came out of the other end of the connection was always that of
a husky, grown-up male.

Mashiro is sorry for deceiving you. She’s still not strong enough to show her
true identity.

“Aki didn’t figure out that Mashiro is ‘Makigai Namako,’ right?”

After being shown so much love for her novel—right to her face—she was
so embarrassed that her face started burning up. But at the same time, she
was incredibly happy.

That day still lingers in Mashiro’s memories.

That simple, postcard-like fan letter, which was left on top of her bedside
table. After seeing the name written on there, Mashiro thought she felt her
heart stop.

‘Ooboshi Akiteru… Don’t tell me, that Aki found out that Mashiro is an
author and is making fun of her…?’

Mashiro was really disgusted with herself for having such thoughts and
feelings. Luckily, though, that hadn’t turned out to be the case. It was a
genuine love letter, written in a pitch-black colour, and with a man’s
handwriting. And, in the corner of it, there was a contact address written, and
the official homepage address of an indie app developer called ‘5th Floor
Alliance.’

That very fact felt like a miracle to Mashiro. It was good news that would
forever change the harsh and dull daily life that Mashiro faced. Mashiro
would once more have the chance to reunite with her beloved Aki. Her
heartbeat wouldn’t calm down, and it took her about a week to finally make
up her mind. Alas, Aki didn’t realize any of it. And even so, he was still the
same Aki whom she had fallen in love with.

She realized that this was how Aki was, and she was disappointed that him
being kind to her wasn’t anything special. Even so, she felt happy to be in the
same community as him.

But, Mashiro was unable to hold herself back, and she closed in on him…
What does he think of the current Mashiro? Mashiro asked herself.

After being able to directly meet him after all this time, after spending time
together, and on top of all of that, her feelings—

Mashiro realized just how much she loves Aki.

“Yeah… It’s fine. Mashiro’s feelings are real. And Iroha-chan said that she
wasn’t going out with Aki…”

Trying to suppress her pounding heart, she took a deep breath. Opening up
LINE, she selected Aki’s contact card. After that welcoming party, he had
wanted her ID, so she had hurriedly created a new account. It felt pretty
weird to using Mashiro’s real name on an account to talk with Aki, and not
the username “Makigai Namako.” Even so, Mashiro felt really great when
they exchanged their contact information face-to-face.

But, right now, the one feeling that filled her chest while she had the screen
open—was fear.

Will he accept Mashiro? Will he reject her?

Such questions were floating around within Mashiro’s chest. She hated the
idea that he might not reciprocate her feelings. She wanted to be closer to
him. She wanted to be special. She wasn’t satisfied with just being his
business partner “Makigai Namako.” That was why she had closed in on him
this much.

…Here goes nothing!

All those bottled up feelings, she put them all into one message, and—

She tapped the ‘Send’ button.

 P 3: A ,T U D —

[ ♪ Hanamichi’s rebellion, our anuses, the one kicking you is the friend’s
little sister ♪ ]

When I came home from school and entered my bedroom, what immediately
entered my line of sight were thighs. A girl with whom I was very familiar
was lying atop of my bed, casually tapping her legs to the rhythm. She had
selfishly borrowed the newest release of a shounen manga from my
bookshelf, and she looked like she was in a good mood.

Her name is Kohinata Iroha. She’s a first-year student at the school I attend.
My Kouhai by one year. Bright golden yellow hair, bulky headphones around
her neck, and a fluffy, expanding hairstyle that makes you think of an emperor
penguin. As protection from the heat and humidity, she was wearing a short-
sleeved, in-season uniform with a short, refreshing skirt. She had taken off
her socks, and her pure white legs were so, so shiny. Though she was a bit
more dolled up than the average high school student, she wasn’t wearing any
excessive piercings or such, so you couldn’t exactly call her a gal either. One
thing is for certain, though: She’s a high school girl through and through.

[ ♪ The ass in a burst while prostrating, charmed by the visible panties!

Grandiose? ♪ ]

Surely, if she showed a cheerful smile in the classroom, every single boy
would probably think something like—
—Ahh, this girl is surely in love with me… Something like that.

And this girl, who was capable of leading unfortunate boys to such terrible
misunderstandings, was currently occupying my bed for some reason.

[ ♪ Though the respectable virgin woman he wouldn’t mind, but only with
the little sister he wouldn’t find— ]

Without saying anything, I unplugged her headphone cable from her

smartphone and connected it to one of my speakers’ outlets.

“Shut up! With what kind of volume are you rapping here?!”

With the scream of a mackerel pike being fished out of the water, Iroha
grandiously threw off her trademark headphones. Apparently, that volume
was a bit too loud for her, and she held both of her ears in pain as she rolled
around on the bed.

—I’m glad that my feelings are finally getting through to her.

“I-Isn’t this a bit too cruel, Senpai?! What are you going to do if you
permanently damage my eardrums?!”

“If that happens, I’ll marry you or whatever you want.”

“Eh?”

“I’m joking, of course. Don’t worry. Even if it’s set to the highest volume,
this thing has a limiter, so it can’t damage your eardrums whatsoever. And
your headphones look fancy enough to automatically reduce any dangerously
loud sounds.”
“Ah, now that you say it. Now that you say it, I was panicking a bit, but it
really isn’t that big of a deal…”

“If you’re going to buy something expensive, then you might as well go for
the one with the most benefits.”

“Seriously… I just put them on without thinking…”

“…Well, it’s your freedom to use them however you want.”

After cutting the connection to the speakers, I picked up the headphones Iroha
had thrown off and gave them back to her. It had been around a year since we
had ordered them online and opened the package, I guess. Comparing them to
how they look now, the colour of the leather has faded quite a bit, which is
proof that she’s been using them on a regular basis.

“At the very least, it doesn’t look like you leave them in the box.”

“Of course I don’t. It’s the most important tool I use while studying.”

“Though you can practice your acting that way, if you really want to
overcome your predecessors, you should also take into consideration how
they gain good reputation. After all, you’re still not allowed to perform in
that field as of yet, so—”

“That’s right. I’ve been improving rapidly from listening to music like this,
and listening to the voices of actors. Really, it’s all thanks to Senpai’s
present~”

“If you want to show how thankful you are, then stop being so annoying.”
“I’m annoying exactly because I want to show you my gratitude~ You really
don’t understand this pure young maiden’s heart!”

“I really don’t. Shouldn’t you be showing your gratitude a bit more… I don’t
know… normally?”

“And I’m telling you that Senpai’s normal isn’t normal at all~!”

“Hee, hee,” Iroha let out a soft giggle.

When she’s at school and in her honor-student mode, she always takes her
headphones off and keeps them in my room. Not her room, but my room.
After all, she wouldn’t be able to practice in her own home. Leaving anything
related to showbiz in the slightest at home would make her parents mad, and
earn her more than an earful.

That’s why the only place where she can earnestly and wholeheartedly do
whatever she wants is this place right here.

Except for the headphones, her usual set was finished. In one smooth motion,
she planted her butt on my bed, moving her legs up and down like a brocon
girl talking with her Onii-chan.

“I really think that Mashiro-senpai likes Senpai, after seeing how jealous she
was~”

“I won’t fall for that. You’re only teasing me again, aren’t you?”

“I’m serious, you know? When we were at the mall, I had to keep motivating
myself with things like ‘I won’t lose against Mashiro-senpai!’ and ‘I will be
the one at Senpai’s side!’, you know?”
“You say that, but you two were pretty close, right? In the end, you looked
more like good friends than rivals.”

“That’s exactly it. I wanted to wage a full-fledged war against her, but
Mashiro-senpai is so cute, and I felt so disgusted seeing those girls bullying
her, that I couldn’t control myself! Ahhh, what a blunder that was!” Iroha
said, puffing out her cheeks.

But I knew very well. Behind that pouting face there was absolutely no regret
or anger. No matter how annoying you are, it isn’t evil at all. That is the true
nature of the girl called Kohinata Iroha. That was why I had predicted from
the very beginning that they would be able to become friends. And Mashiro’s
attitude was the polar opposite, so they were an unexpectedly good match.

“So in order to make up for everything that I lost that day, I will be staying in
Senpai’s home all day long!”

“I don’t get it…”

I could only let out a sigh. I didn’t understand a single thing that Iroha was
saying. I turned my back to her, put away my school bag, and sat down at my
work desk.

My distance with Mashiro had decreased. If we could continue our

relationship as fake lovers, President Tsukinomori’s mission would be
smooth sailing from here.

—Bzzt

My smartphone suddenly vibrated inside my pocket. Since it was only one

buzz, it was probably a LINE message. Thinking that it was probably
something trivial going on in the ‘5th Floor Alliance’ group chat, I took my
time taking my smartphone out.

“Ah, I want to see it too!”

“Hey, idiot. Don’t just cling to me like that.”

“I can’t help it~ the screen of your smartphone is too small, after all~”

Growing sensitive to my movements, Iroha suddenly clung to my back like a

baby koala clinging to its parent.

Though she was being annoying as usual, I permitted it. Since she had to hide
her identity as the voice actress of the ‘5th Floor Alliance,’ she couldn’t be a
part of our LINE group. Thinking that she must be interested in our
conversations outside of our meetings, I usually allowed her to look.

“Maybe it’s Murasaki Shikibu-sensei fangirling about another Onee X Shota

doujin, or another shitty movie recommendation from Makigai Namako-
sensei… Onii-chan isn’t the type of person who writes stuff out of nowhere,
after all. Let’s see…” Iroha said, peeking at the screen.

With her face right beside me, I found myself becoming conscious of the
girl’s scent. And with that, we focused on the screen in front of us.

……………

…………………………

………………………………………

……………………………………………………Eh?
Both the name of the sender and the contents had left me and Iroha completely
speechless. The message hadn’t came from the ‘5th Floor Alliance’ group
chat.

Tsukinomori Mashiro.

A contact whom I had just recently added, who had a completely new
account. The message at the very bottom of our chat history was
unbelievable, and unreasonably unrealistic.

“Uhm… What… is this?”

This might have been the first time that I’d ever heard Iroha’s voice as shaky
as that.

—Thinking back on it, we were probably walking right on top of a minefield.

Gathering up people with different circumstances, ignoring the cruel reality
right before our eyes, and enjoying what we had right then, walking towards
the future we wanted. You might even call it isolation, since we lost all
communication with the outside. That is how we, the ‘5th Floor Alliance,’
arrived at this realm of reality.

But history states that every country will crumble sooner or later. Being
shown the overwhelming power of black ships, being forced to open the
country, a whole new culture flooding in, a sudden exchange of technology
and knowledge.[16]

What kind of emotions were welling up inside Iroha, who was blankly
staring at the screen? Without a doubt, she was reading the same message that
I was.
After reading it through a second time, I finally comprehended it. I hadn’t
misread. It wasn’t English. And neither was it German, nor French. It was
written in 100% grammatically correct and easy-to-understand Japanese, in
one simple line—

‘Mashiro loves you. More than anything in the world.’

 A

A good day to every fan of GA Publishing. And to those of you who already
know me from other various works, my thanks as always. Annoyingly,
rightfully, magnificently visiting you, it’s the author Mikawa Ghost.

Thank you very much for picking up “Tomodachi no Imouto Ga Ore ni Dake
Uzai.” You know, I always have trouble deciding what I want to write in my
afterword. Do people read the afterword before the actual book? Or do they
read it afterwards? People differ greatly in the smallest of ways. With that in
mind, I can’t in good faith go into detail about the contents of this novel. So
instead I would like to tell you a story of when we were deciding on the title
of “Tomodachi no Imouto Ga Ore ni Dake Uzai,” or “ImoZa” for short.

It happened during a hot summer in 2018. The crickets were making their
presences known outside, the engines of the cars going by were roaring to
their heart’s content, and I was sitting in an antique café. The professional
editor from GA Publishing, Nuru-san, was sitting with me, and I told him the
following:

“Recently, novels with grown-up protagonists have become rather

popular…”

“That’s right.”
“Then how about an office love? Both the protagonist and the heroine are
working members of society—a rom-com like that should do very well. It’ll
have an office lady heroine. There will be a picture of her in a suit and tights
on the cover.”

“That sounds good.”

“So, this is what I had been thinking about. ‘My girlfriend and Kouhai and
superior are all working too hard.’”

“That sounds fun. Then please work in that direction.”

One week later.

“Hello. I have the design here.”

“Thank you very much. Then let’s take a look immediately… Hm?”

Having opened the small 1KB file, Editor Nuru-san tilted her head.

“There’s nothing but the title in here? ‘My friend’s little sister?’ What about
the office lady heroine?”

“No matter I long I thought about it, I could only see a difficult future ahead
of me if I wanted to write realistically about an office.”

“I see.”

“After all, putting lucky pervert moments in a modern office setting would
only come off as sexual harassment, right? For the main character to avoid
said sexual harassment and still become closer to the heroine is much too
hard of a task. I would like to develop a heroine who is a bit more within the
protagonist’s reach.”

“And that’s why you came up a friend’s little sister. Neither a childhood
friend nor an actual little sister.”

“Please think about it. She often comes over to play, she tries to seduce him
with her legs, she lets her guard down inside the living room, she sits there
reading manga and listening to music.”

“I see.”

“And if that girl were a super-duper beauty?”

“That sounds nice.”

“That’s what I mean.”

“Hmm. However, what exactly is the role of that friend’s little sister? What
kind of personality does she have?”

“About that.”

HAHAHAHA, I started laughing. To be completely honest, I hadn’t thought

of anything except for the charm of her being so close to the protagonist.

“You know, recently, rather unexpected character traits have become popular,
you see.”

“Is that so?”

“Having them act annoying at first makes them seem rather lovable in the end,
for example.”

“Ahhh, that has been quite popular recently. Being annoying.”

“I see…?”

After being told that, I wrote down the title that flew into my head at that
moment.

“Tomodachi no Imouto Ga Ore ni Dake Uzai.”

“…That’s it!!!”

Both of us screamed out loud the second we saw that title.

And just like that, the title was born. Shortly afterwards the characters were
born, and soon the volume was finished. So what did you think of it? It would
be great if you all enjoyed it~ Please continue to watch over the past,
present, and future of Akiteru, Iroha, Mashio, Ozu, and Sumire.

It’s time to give my thanks to the people who helped.

Tomari-sensei! Thank you so much for the greatest annoying heroine! The
character design, cover, illustrations… Everything is perfect. I hope than we
can bring this series to great success together. I’m looking forward to
working with you!

To the editor Nuru-san, everyone involved from GA Publishing, everyone

who made supportive comments from book stores all over the country, and to
everyone else related to the release of “ImoUza,” I cannot thank you enough!
And of course, to everyone kind enough to pick up this piece of work, I love
you so much!

I hope that we may see each other again. This has been Mikawa Ghost.
Illustration by Taki-chan: https://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=35864739
There’s more to come so make sure to follow him!
 T ’ N

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anmitsu [↑]

2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taiyaki [↑]

3. Older woman and young boy. [↑]

4. Paisen is the rude version of senpai, mostly used when there’s no respect
involved. [↑]

5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podostroma_cornu-damae [↑]

6. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryona [↑]

7. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sh%C5%8Dch%C5%AB [↑]

8. To keep it short, this is a reference to the starting days of Japanese

mythology, the Sun Goddess Amaterasu hid from the other gods in a cave,
closed off by a rock. Said other gods tried to lure her out with a party.
[↑]

9. Sanma is the three player variant of mahjong. There will be mahjong

references. I will try my best to make it understandable, but don’t expect
too much, since I have absolutely no clue how mahjong works.
Apologies. [↑]

10. http://arcturus.su/wiki/Tanki [↑]

11. http://arcturus.su/wiki/Oya [↑]

12. Win on discard… or something. [↑]

13. Winning hand containing one of each terminal and honor tile plus one
extra copy of any of them. [↑]

14. Win worth 32000 points [or, if dealer, 48000 points] [↑]

15. Yes, this is a ‘Your Name’ reference. [↑]

16. Again the reference to the isolation of Japan until the 19th Century, and
the rapid change after the so-called ‘black ships’ arrived at the coast.
[↑]
 C

Author: Mikawa Ghost

Illustrators: Tomari and Taki-chan

Translator: Batoolo (CClaw Translations)

Editors: Daxar and Marv

EPUB creator & markup editor: Christmas Cavalier