PHỤ LỤC:

Ads/disads job changing………………………………………………………………………………2-5

Opinion education success or student attitude……………..……………………6-10
Agr or disagr focus on present instead of future………………………………….11-12
Discuss nowadays people dependent or independent……………………..13-15
Discuss getting old is bad or good……………………………………………………………16-18
Double question have children later………………………………………………………...19-21
Agre or disagr government take responsibility for children health..22-25
Discuss life of the olds in the past and present……………………………………..26-28
Ads/disads people info held by large companies…………………………………29-33
Double ques social media issues………………………………………………………………..34-37
Problem & solution cities’ noises………………………………………………………………..38-40
Many young people regularly change their jobs over the years.
What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the 1
disadvantages?

Fiona:
Young adults often take some time before they realise what kind of work they
want to do. As a result, they can end up doing a variety of jobs for short
periods. This essay will consider why this happens and argue that the benefits
of this are greater than the drawbacks.

Many of the jobs that young people do are taken in order to earn ‘pocket
money’ for spending on going out and leisure pursuits. If they are not already
raising a family, the wages they earn may not need to be substantial, and
therefore their commitment to a particular employer or career path may not
exist. As such, they frequently work on short-term contracts which are not
necessarily extended. In addition, people in this position may quickly decide
that a job is boring or poorly paid and look to change it at short notice.

This regular change of job brings its benefits. It allows the young person to try
out a range of types of work and employment settings which will inform their
choices later in life. Without this opportunity, a person could find themselves
stuck in a role which they find unsatisfactory but without the awareness of
other possibilities. Different jobs also provide a variety of challenges and

2 51
demand a range of skill sets, which will add to the individual’s CV and
enhance their employability. Although rapid changes of work may be 1
destabilising and encourage a sense that application to one role is not
essential, there will be plenty of time for the individual to make significant
career choices in later life. [Showing an awareness of negatives but then
refuting them shows confidence and strengthens your argument].

In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of varied employment

experience in early adulthood significantly outweigh the disadvantages, and
prepare the young person for a more rewarding working life to come.

Phong:
Job-hopping among the young has been on the rise in recent years,
troubling/causing some concern in the human resources departments of
many corporations. There are many reasons for this, but I believe this trend is
mostly advantageous.

The
1 fact that many youngsters today have short job stints may stem from
both internal and external factors. Some young employees do job-hopping
more frequently than others because of a mismatch in their skills or a lack of
positive work culture. Even if it means a pay cut to change jobs frequently,
this is a trade-off many are willing to take in search of a better fit for their
career growth. Another contributing factor could be the failure to achieve
work-life balance due to a heavy workload. Many young people, particularly 1
those working in advertising agencies, are having increasingly tight deadlines
to meet. As a result, they have to finish the tasks outside of working hours.

Some people may argue that employers will be reluctant to choose frequent 1
job-hoppers because there is a likelihood that they will do the same to their
prospective companies. However, given today’s dynamic and ever-changing
environments, recruiters are more likely to look favorably towards those with
diverse backgrounds. This is because these candidates usually have exposure
to a variety of challenges and access to more resources from different
companies that they used to work for. Therefore, corporations could/can trust
them to bring new ideas and show more flexible problem-solving skills in
different circumstances.

In conclusion, young people may ‘jump ship’ to find a career fit or simply
because they are not willing to compromise work-life balance. Regardless of
the reasons, as long as they still maintain good relationships with past
employers, the advantages should eclipse the disadvantages since the
ultimate result is a flexible and resourceful candidate.

Key learning:

3 2
Ideas and vocabulary
1

https://www.gallup.com/workplace/231587/millennials-job-hopping-
generation.aspx

https://www.forbes.com/sites/sarahlandrum/2017/11/10/millennials-arent-
afraid-to-change-jobs-and-heres-why/

The term ‘job-hopping’ is used a lot in these articles. Is it ok to use this in

IELTS? Possibly yes. It’s not an academic term, but it is clearly an accepted
term in written articles.

Are Millennials Job-Hopping for the money?

Many assume millennials are just chasing money when they job-hop, rather
than waiting patiently for their slice of the pie as their seniors did. However,
that’s not true of all job-hoppers.

Many employees who seek other jobs early on are willing to take pay cuts for
the right job, especially if there is a mismatch or lack of positive work culture.
Other factors for switching jobs quickly include having too much work to do, 2
resulting in an uneven work-life balance. Environmental and social
consciousness drives millennials, caring about their fellow man. When a
company’s mission matches their values, millennials are in — more likely for
a longer haul than their last gig. 2

Great list of reasons here:

Why do Millennials and Gen-Z change jobs more often?

1. Needing a sense of purpose

2. Professional development
3. Craving change and innovation
4. Work-Life balance
5. No engagement in the company

NOTES - can you correct these?

1. Scientific researches* have proven that millennials tend to get bored

easily.

*research has shown

3
4
2. There are two major reasons why young working people believe tend
to/want to change jobs. 1
3. The major factor/reason why young people change jobs is to acquire
more knowledge of work.
4. If employees become experts in using microsoft-excel while working
for a company and then switch jobs where graphics is used extensively,
they will gain hands-on experience in a variety of skills. Then, they can
highlight these skills in his resume where they can bag the best suited
job with increased pay.
5. On the contrary is not the same as ‘In contrast’

3
3

4
5
Some people believe that teachers have an important role to play in
educational success whereas others believe that it is the student’s attitude 1
that matters. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fiona:

Teaching is one of the most enduring and respected professions, and few
people would deny the important role that teachers play. However, it must be
remembered that learning is ultimately the responsibility of the learner, and
the extent to which teachers can influence learning is open to question. This
essay will argue that teachers are perhaps less vital than before, but that
some students still benefit from the contribution that a teacher makes.

There was a time when teachers were seen as highly authoritative figures
whose purpose was to impart their superior knowledge. Many students learnt
out of a sense of duty and by rote, which meant that they had little enjoyment
or interest in what they were learning. Today, the guidance and support that
teachers are trained to give is far-reaching and highly valued, and this makes
the contribution of the teacher more effective than ever before. Teachers
today facilitate the learning that the student wants to undertake, and they
are sensitive to individual needs and learning styles. As such, their role has
diversified and is as crucial as ever.

Despite these developments, the process of learning remains one which

relies on the student wanting to learn and having the skills to organise their
5

6
studies effectively. [Without this, learning will never be easy, and is likely to
have less successful outcomes. Education is a long, systematic process which 1
can lead to a productive working life but things can go awry if the learner is
not given the necessary help in organising their studies]. Some people can
achieve great things because they possess the skills and qualities that allow
them to learn independently, but for many people a teacher provides an
external control over learning and gives necessary guidance in how to
progress. [In addition, some learners require regular feedback and
reassurance in order to remain motivated. Without a teacher, these people
might quickly lose interest and confidence].

In conclusion, the diversity of learning opportunities, many of which do not

require a teacher, is generally a positive development. Although some
students work effectively with minimal teacher input, for a greater number a
teacher provides essential support in the process of learning.

Phong:

Academic success is a priority to many people. While it is hard to overstate 4

that teachers play a pivotal role in helping learners achieve this, I side with
those who believe educational success is largely dependent on students’
perception towards schooling.

Teachers have multiple roles to play in assisting students to succeed

academically. Firstly, teachers are facilitators, meaning they help learners
seek clarification and have a better understanding of the subjects by
encouraging them to ask questions. This is because some students,
particularly young ones, may fear appearing ‘stupid’ in front of their peers and
teacher. Secondly, teachers also act as assessors in a sense that they evaluate
the learning styles and academic performance of each individual and give the
corresponding feedback on the weaknesses that students need to work on to
improve themselves.

Nonetheless, I feel students’ attitude towards education is the deciding factor

in helping them succeed in academic settings. They need to understand the
ultimate purpose of schooling, which is to open doors to new opportunities.
Except for the successful few without formal qualifications, education is key
to securing future employment in today’s knowledge-based society. In
addition, self-motivation is also crucial in academic achievement. Teachers
can only help to impart the knowledge and it is the duty of students to absorb
and apply it in real life. Therefore, if students are aware of the benefits that
education can bring and are self-motivated, they are more likely to apply
themselves without any extra push.

7
In conclusion, teachers’ role in a classroom is undoubtedly important, but it is 1
the student’s attitude towards learning that matters more. If students are not
willing to learn, no teacher can help them, but if they are determined to learn,
no one can stop them.

Key learning:

“If you're not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you're determined to
learn, no one can stop you.”

Synonyms

Teachers = Educators

Professors = Lecturers = Trainers = Tutors = Instructors= faculties 5

Students = learners = Scholars

(Pupils is very specific for younger students e.g. primary school pupils)

Slang

● To crack an exam (do/perform well in/pass an exam)

● if a pupil does not fancy (slang ‘is not willing to learn’) learning, they will
not learn.

Not only but also

Not only a teacher’s role is indispensable in getting the good results of
students, but also the students' buy-in is extremely essential.

Not only is a teacher’s role indispensable in getting the good results of

students, but also the students' buy-in is extremely essential.

Not only have students to work hard in class but also, they need to have
motivation and enthusiasm to keep working and learning.

Not only do students have to work hard in class but also, they need to have
motivation and enthusiasm to keep working and learning.

8
3. The responsibility of instructors not only do go beyond imparting
knowledge, but they also inculcate in their disciples the desire and value of 1
knowledge.

The responsibility of instructors goes beyond imparting knowledge, but they

also inculcate in their disciples the desire and value of knowledge.

Not only does the responsibility ….go

While others argue that a student's effort contributes to success, we cannot

deny a teacher's great merit so that they undoubtedly are good navigators,
which possibly sets up the way to progress.

6
‘One’ (avoid)

Having a teacher who really enjoys his/her their subject has inspired some of
these students to widen their knowledge in this area.

There are several reasons why teachers play an essential role in students’
success.

There are several reasons why teachers play an essential role in a student’s
success.

However, attaining academic success largely depends on students’ attitude

towards educating oneself/themselves.
However, teachers are just one important factor in determining one's
academic success, and one's a student’s eagerness to learn is (may be)* of
greater importance because tutors can only show the right direction, but it is
the individual attitude that makes a difference.
Advocate vs argue

Many refute this, advocating/arguing/saying that it is the student’s attitude

that affects the outcome.

Advocate = publicly recommend or support e.g. an end to plastic

I advocate using computers rather than teachers.

9
Attitude (to/toward) + noun/ing
1
The attitude toward studying and acquiring new skills is pivotal in academic
success.

Driving factor vs deciding factor

Both ok and slightly different. Driving force may be the better collocation.

Undeniable/impossible to deny*

10
Some people say it is a waste of time to plan for the future and that it is
more important to focus on the present. To what extent do you agree or 1
disagree?

Fiona:

Thinking about the future is something that we do increasingly as we get

older. For the young person, the future seems less relevant, and living in the
moment is most important. However, in later years people realise that they
need to look after their families and make provision for retirement, and hence
they take practical steps to ensure their financial security. In this essay I will
argue that as regards financial concerns, thinking about the future is a very
sensible precaution.

Young people rarely think about their financial security in old age. Nor do they
worry about the financial implications of starting a family. It is in their nature
to enjoy life in a carefree way, and this is perhaps as it should be. Young people
need the freedom and liberty to make mistakes and take risks in order to find
out what they want to do with their lives. However, as soon as a young person
takes on some responsibilities, such as a partner, a family, or a mortgage, the
need to think ahead and envisage their lives in the years ahead becomes very
important.

As life expectancy continues to increase, people are expected to work longer

and contribute more to their pension schemes. As a result, young adults are

11
faced with decisions about their financial security many years before they will
need to rely upon that provision. Furthermore, affording a mortgage has 1
become increasingly difficult, and therefore there is a greater need for young
people to organise their finances so that they maximise their chances of
getting on the property ladder. Taken together, these financial developments
mean that the age of financial indifference and innocence has shortened
significantly, and financial planning is something that needs to start earlier
than ever.

In conclusion, these developments may be seen as a sad reflection of our

times, but an awareness of responsibilities and the cost of living should be
viewed as essential to young people. Planning for the future is, therefore, far
from a waste of time.

Key learning:

Slang/Informal language
● Consequently, if they do not plan well to tackle these unknown events
8
they might ‘lose the game’ - lose direction
● Preparation for tomorrow is arguably regarded as a ‘timesink’.
● These things cost a fortune. = cost a significant amount of money.
● we should cherish the now appreciate the moment
● Planning is the best way to make our days joyful and our future dreams
come true/ to achieve our goals/maximise our efficiency/achievements
● It may take lots of/ a significant amount of time to plan for an unknown
future.
● If you go on a family holiday, for example, and spend time with children,
there is a higher chance that your family will be happy → Spending time
with family and friends can improve your emotional well-being.

Hedging/Fact vs opinion

● This would is more likely to make you appreciate what you have.
● Spending time with your family may/might/can/could lead to a
healthier and a more fulfilled life.
● It is important to live in the current moment, which can bring fulfilment
and happiness.
● Most people basically want to have their living quality guaranteed.

12
Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each
other. Others argue that people have become more independent. Discuss 1
both these views and give your opinion.
9

Fiona:

Human interaction and interdependency have been transformed in recent

years by the increasing influence of computerisation and the internet. This
essay will argue that while these changes have had a positive, empowering
effect, there is a corresponding downside to these developments.

The rise of the computer, both in automation in the workplace and the role of
the internet on a personal level, has revolutionised our lives both for good and
bad. A great deal of manufacturing today can be carried out effectively with
machines that require very little human involvement. As such, society no
longer relies on workers with a range of specialisms in order to produce goods
such as cars, furniture and clothing. In this way, we are less dependent upon
other human beings for the things we want to buy.

On a more personal level, the internet now allows us to do a huge variety of

things which in the past demanded other people. For example, learning a
language used to require a teacher; today, we can follow online courses and
check our progress without another person being involved. Furthermore, we
can shop, do our banking, and enjoy a range of entertainment without the
need for human interaction.

13
Although these developments can be seen as beneficial, they result in a
society in which human contact is severely reduced or disappears altogether, 1
with the consequence that people can feel increasingly lonely and lacking
necessary contact. The current Covid pandemic has shown how isolation can
cause significant mental health problems, and highlighted the basic human
need for social interaction and interdependency.

In conclusion, I would argue that so long as human beings maintain the need
to be dependent upon one another, the less attractive effects of technology
should not be too detrimental to our well-being.

Phong:

The modern world often means greater responsibilities and financial

pressures in some aspects of life. While some believe that we are growing 10
more dependent on each other now than in earlier times, others think
otherwise. Personally, I agree with the latter school of thought for several
reasons.

It is understandable why many argue that interdependence has been on the

rise in recent years. In domestic settings, an increasing number of young
people today live with their parents to save on living and accommodation
costs. This is largely due to the climbing property prices, which makes it
financially impossible for many youngsters, especially those with limited
incomes, to live alone. On a societal level, another possible rationale is that
humans are hard-wired for social connections, regardless of which era we live
in. Even if people are physically separated, they will still likely seek help and
companionship from others.

Nonetheless, I side with those who believe that people are becoming
increasingly self-reliant. Urbanization and globalization have brought about
many positive changes to society regarding employment prospects. Take,
Vietnamese youngsters, for example. The widely available job opportunities
in big cities like Ho Chi Minh, coupled with the increasing emergence of local
and international financial institutions that offer bank loans, have enabled
many to rent, if not, buy an apartment and live independently of their parents.
In addition, a greater tendency to use social media may discourage
individuals from having real-life, face-to-face relationships since most of their
time is likely to be spent online seeking virtual connections.

To conclude, given the influence of the technological advancements and

social transformation of the modern world, I am convinced that people are
becoming more independent of each other than ever. [Final thought?]

14
Key learning: 1

● Staying ‘on topic’

‘In the modern world’ suggests something has changed, compared to the
past. This comparison is also clear in the words ‘MORE
dependent/independent’. You need to be clear about what is different about
modern society. Be careful not to use examples that were also true of the past.

‘dependent on’ = requiring someone or something for financial or other

support. Keep this meaning in mind.

● Firstly, people need solitude in life without any interruptions. (is this a 11
modern phenomenon? If so, make it clear why - population increase?
People living in cramped accommodation? Cost of living?)
● Due to some personal issues some people prefer to live with their
family.
● Also, owing to health ailments, many people need help for medical care
and treatment, resulting in dependence on other members of the
family.
● Underdeveloped countries such as Africa and Ethiopia have
dependency on nearby developed countries.
● Collocation checker e.g. have independence on someone?
Sentencedict.com

● Tenses:

There are a few important reasons why direct social disconnection has
increased/is increasing significantly.

Others claim that many people (are more) have been have become
dependent on family for financial support.

● Lonely vs alone

15
Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad.
However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now 1
than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

12

Fiona:

Ageing brings with it challenges as well as opportunities. Although few

people look forward to getting old, this essay will argue that it has many
advantages and that there has never been a better time to be elderly.

[Point] In some ways, it is undeniable that old people today lack certain
benefits that used to exist. [Example] For example, it was normal in the past
for elderly relatives to live with their families, and this is something that still
happens in certain cultures. [Result] This meant that old people had support
and company close to hand, [Link to question] whereas nowadays loneliness
is one of the great sources of old age. [Point] What is more, as life expectancy
increases, more people are now suffering longer with conditions [Example]
such as dementia, as well as other debilitating illnesses due to poor lifestyle
choices. [Link to question] As a result, for many, old age is a time of ill-health
and poor quality of life.

Despite these factors, I believe that technological and medical advances 4

mean that elderly people today enjoy significant benefits. Firstly, it is easier
than ever to contact friends and relatives using computer technology, and
online media provide a great variety of entertainment, such as TV and films,

16
which can be enjoyed at home if mobility is an issue. These benefits offset
some of the potential loneliness that old people may experience. In addition, 1
medical science has developed treatments for diseases and conditions that
in the past would have shortened life or made it hard to bear. Furthermore,
old people these days have far more disposable income than younger adults,
many have generous pensions and have paid off their mortgages, and can
enjoy the advantages that money can bring.

In conclusion, I would say that although the difficulties of the elderly cannot
be
underestimated, there are greater opportunities and support mechanisms in
place today for old people than we have ever had.

Key learning:

Synonyms for old people [there aren’t many!]

GOOD: the elderly, the older generation, elderly people

OK: seniors, elders (US), pensioners,
NOT: an elderly, aged people, the aged group, old aged life, the elder, the
13
senior members, seniority, the old ones

PRESENT PERFECT consistency

● Humanity has entered a new age where the advancement of

technology has brought the development of many aspects in life.
● As the world has changed so much, the life of older people has changed
in several aspects too.

BURDEN

● a duty or responsibility that is hard to bear

In contrast, some believe that the rising elderly population often becomes has
become a burden on society and the individual.

NOT ONLY
In conclusion, not only does the modern world have inevitable drawbacks for
older generations but it has potential benefits.

17
False synonyms
1
1. I will explicate explain my reasoning below.
2. Some people contemplate think/consider that the modern world has
made the life of old people better.

Words that examiners hate (why?! - redundancy)

● In today’s era society
● In our contemporary society
● In today’s this modern era
● In this contemporary era
● In modern society (OK)

14

18
Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. 1
Why is this trend occurring?
What are the impacts of this development on both family and society?

Fiona:

A notable feature of modern families is the fact that parents are choosing to
start a family when they are older, for a number of reasons. This essay will
argue that this development is mainly positive.

There have been significant societal changes in recent years which have
liberated adults from the pressure to have children early. For example, it is
no longer frowned upon if partners live together without marrying, and
many people want to enjoy several years of ‘freedom’ before settling down
and taking on domestic responsibilities. Furthermore, women’s rights have
evolved such that there are more professional opportunities for women and
a greater chance of career development than there used to be. This is
reinforced by a gradual improvement in women’s pay and conditions. These
changes have allowed women to pursue their professional interests and
mean that raising children is often delayed.

19
The major benefit of this development is that parents are often more mature 1
and better equipped to take on parental responsibilities at a later age, and
they are more likely to have a sense of personal satisfaction from having lived
full lives before taking the decision to settle down. This contributes to family
harmony and means there should be less conflict. However, the impact on
society is already being felt, with many countries such as Japan struggling to
care for an ageing population due to the very low birth rates.

In conclusion, I would argue that for individuals, the advantages of having

children later in life outweigh the drawbacks, but for society there needs to
be a healthy balance of both young and old to ensure that it functions
effectively.

Key learning:
15
LENGTH

Being CONCISE is part of the assessment.

● Opinion
I understand it’s difficult to put your opinion in the intro with this type of
question, and it appears that it is not asking for your opinion.
But remember ALL essays are asking for your opinion. A simple ‘I believe the
impact to be mainly positive/negative and will outline my reasons below’
would work or ‘There are many reasons for this and I will argue that although
it has had a positive effect on the family unit, the economy may suffer in the
long-term.’

● ‘Such as’

Another factor is that the standard of living has risen such as income,
materials or quality of life.

Nurturing children is expensive in most nations such as Singapore.

● Being ‘judgemental’ (harshly critical of others)

20
The topic is potentially a sensitive one, so it is even more important to remain
neutral, non-judgemental and uncritical. Use hedging to avoid this. E.g. ‘It 1
might result in…’

● Informal language

Secondly, some people believe that it is better to be financially stable,

considering that in our society it is hard to find a steady job and the price of
raising a kid/ a child is constantly increasing.
As a result, families will start to accept that children are gonna/are going to
be be an option rather than a requirement,
When it comes to the impact of later childbearing, there are a couple of a few
significant issues that should be taken into account. 16
To begin with, every person should set a bunch of goals in life.

Off-topic
The essay is not asking for suggestions/recommendations what people
should do.
It’s not asking how important it is to have children at the right age.

21
Many children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think
it is the responsibility of governments to solve this problem. To what extent 1
do you agree or disagree?

Fiona:

Childhood obesity is a major scourge of our times. While we can identify its
various causes, the question of who is responsible for it and who should take
action to deal with it is an interesting one. This essay will argue that the
responsibility lies primarily with the parents and school of the child, who have
the greatest personal influence on their health and well-being.

On one level, the government has the greatest power to regulate and
legislate so that families and individuals have the best chance to look after
themselves and make healthy choices. For example, introducing laws
concerning the content of foods and access to harmful dietary elements such 17
as sugar and fats is something that governments can do a great deal to
regulate. In addition, governments can provide support both financial and
otherwise, to help families who struggle to put healthy meals on the table and
who need guidance in bringing up children in the best way possible.

Nevertheless, it is the people around the child who have the greatest
influence on the individual. Parents should not only provide healthier
nutritious meals for children, but instill in the child as far as possible the values
that they believe lead to a healthy active life. Furthermore, schools should be
providing healthy meals and educating children to make good choices with

22
regard to their diet and levels of activity. Few people like the idea of
governments meddling in our private lives, yet we expect support for 1
individuals to live healthy and productive lives.

In conclusion, I would argue that against the background of government

support, the people who are closest to children are in the best position to
influence them in terms of their health and well-being.

Phong:

As an unintended consequence of advanced technology, many children are

suffering from obesity and living unhealthily. While many argue that the fault
lies with the government only, I believe that addressing the problem will 18
require governments, parents, and schools alike to work collectively.

The increasing popularity of sugary products is one of the main culprits

behind obesity in children, prompting many to think that the government
should raise the prices of these products, but I feel this may not be necessarily
effective. Although I concede that price increases may discourage many
parents from buying, this proposal would only affect the less wealthy
members of society. Rather than increasing the prices of sweets, if schools
and parents educate their children about how detrimental the excessive
consumption of products with high sugar content is, they might be less likely
to pester their parents to buy such treats. Thus, the obesity problem can be
solved more effectively without government intervention.

Regarding the propensity of many children to become physically inactive due

to lifestyles associated with smartphones, some propose that the
government should build more parks and public facilities to encourage them
to exercise more regularly. Personally, I feel governments alone may not be
able to achieve desirable outcomes. Even if facilities to improve health, such
as swimming pools and gyms are located everywhere in the city, there is no
guarantee that children will use them. A good habit of exercise on a regular
basis needs to be instilled in them, and thus, schools and parents should
shoulder this responsibility. This is because children spend the vast majority
of their time with teachers and parents.

In conclusion, the fact that children are becoming increasingly obese and
leading an unhealthy lifestyle is worrying, and the government still has a role
to play in solving this. However, a holistic approach would also necessitate
action taken by parents and teachers.

Key learning:

23
Can vs should - fact vs opinion and FUNCTIONS 1
The function of ‘can’ = to give examples to support a point - usually facts
The function of ‘should’ = to show your opinion

● Parents have a huge impact on their children's lifestyle. Parents can

(should?) have a strict control on the type of food or the timing of TV or
Video games. They can (should?) encourage children to do more
physical activity and change their bad habits like eating junk food. and 19
encourage them to eat more valuable nutrients like vegetables and
fruits. (So?)
● The principal reason why parents should be held accountable for
overweight children is that they can monitor their children’s food intake
more closely than governments can. Parents should [For example they
can/are able to] restrict children’s trips to fast food outlets. This can be
done by bringing [and bring] healthy foods home.
● I believe that families play a more important role. Many children look up
to their parents, subconsciously copying their habits. Thus, not only
should parents explain the principles of healthy eating, but they should
also try to show an example of doing so. In addition, since parents often
have more influence and authority than even well-respected teachers,
they should confirm and support the information about healthy eating
habits provided at school.

Remember the question: Is it the responsibility of the government to solve

the problem of obesity? If yes, why?

● It is important for the government to manage the money to build more

health care facilities such as gyms, playgrounds, and check-up centers.
● The government has the resources to build more health care facilities
such as gyms, playgrounds, and check-up centers.
● The government has the responsibility of using tax-payers’ money for
the benefit of its citizens, and should therefore build more facilities such
as gyms and playgrounds to encourage people to do more exercise.
Language of emphasis

(Adam) Introducing laws concerning the content of foods and access to

harmful dietary elements such as sugar and fats is something that
governments can do.
(Adam) Nevertheless, it is the people around the child who have the greatest
influence

24
(Homayoun) However, I strongly believe that it is the parents who are
ultimately responsible. 1
(Alexandr) While children spend a considerable amount of time studying at
schools, it is their families who have a greater influence on their behaviour.

Society
20
https://app.getbeamer.com/ieltswithfiona/en/daily-tip-society

● The government has the power to embed healthy lifestyles in the

society.

Popular vs common

In conclusion, the sedentary lifestyle among children is becoming

increasingly popular.

Useful expression: On the part of the government

https://ludwig.guru/s/on+the+part+of+the+government

e.g. I believe that it requires collective effort from/by the government. (OK)
I believe that it requires collective effort on the part of the government.
(More specific? More responsibility?)

25
 1
Some people think that in the modern world, getting old is entirely bad.
However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now
than it was in the past. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fiona:

World history teaches us that war between nations has been ever-present.
This might lead to the conclusion that the world would be a better and more
peaceful place if a single international government had power over the entire
globe. This essay will argue that such an ideal is unworkable and runs counter
to the natural diversity of nation states.

On the face of it, a centrally controlled family of nations would seem to have
several benefits. For example, there would be consistency of law and policy,
which might be expected to lead to greater equality of opportunity and living
standards among people. It might also result in far fewer conflicts, given that
all nations would have shared interests.

However, such a situation would be problematic for a number of reasons.

Firstly, the world is a diverse place, in terms of culture and geography. It
seems unlikely that a single set of politicians would have the knowledge and
expertise to run every country effectively. What is more, without a personal
sense of involvement in a place, decisions about a people’s needs and welfare
would inevitably be misjudged. Even if a world government was established,
it would quickly fall apart, due to the natural urge of people of different ethnic
and cultural backgrounds to have control of their own affairs. Physical
boundaries would still exist, as would local differences, meaning that conflicts
would necessarily arise. Where smaller federations have been governed

26
centrally, such as the Soviet Union and the EU, we have seen this lead to
tensions, and eventual dissolution. 1

In conclusion, while such idealistic international oversight might have a role

to play in dealing with certain issues such as tackling environmental
problems, nations will always want governments of their own who
understand the needs of their populations best of all.

Key learning:

● In my opinion, despite some issues, their quality of life could be is much

better in today's society.
● For example, during the pandemic, my old aunty many old people were
not able to communicate well with us through online social media as
compared to face-to-face communication. Even during the lockdown,
my uncle could not and it was difficult for them to place orders through 22
online grocery stores.

Anecdotal = story-like
Avoid personalised, isolated examples.

HEDGING

● Contemporary lifestyle has estranged some elderly people from their

adult children. (explain)
● Younger couples nowadays often live apart from their elderly parents,
which might lead to estrangement between these two generations.
● Relationships with neighbours have become more superficial and this
might add more difficulty to elderly people’s lives.
● Nowadays, old people tend to be in better shape due to advances in
medicine and have more access to technology.
● As people age, they often become wiser.

● I believe that as people age, they become wiser.

● All Some of the experience they gained has been devalued due to
technology.

27
● The elderly sometimes find it impossibledifficult to learn new
1
technology.
● However, many of them fully enjoy their advanced age these days
thanks to...
● Many senior citizens living in today’s society are healthier and more
affluent than in the past.
● In the past, older people had fewer opportunities to change their lives.

● In most/many/some societies, governments provide their senior

citizens with access to public facilities such as transportation,
healthcare and housing.
23

28
The personal information of many individuals is held by large companies and 1
organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the
disadvantages?

Fiona:

With the development of the Internet and online services, information that
was once personal to us and kept confidential is now readily shared and finds
its way into the storage of major companies and organisations. While there
are some benefits of this, when things go wrong, important personal
information can be used dishonestly and shared publicly, causing
considerable distress or financial loss to the individuals concerned. This essay
will argue that so long as data is stored responsibly and carefully the benefits
outweigh the drawbacks.

Looking first at the benefits, the current COVID pandemic has highlighted
how important it is for health services to be joined up in order to provide a
coherent and efficient service for customers. The test and trace system and
the coordination of vaccinations relies on shared personal information and
has worked very effectively. Another quite different example is the ability of
companies to target individuals with marketing communications and
adverts. This allows us to have a greater awareness of products and services
that might interest us.

29
Despite these advantages, there have been some high-profile examples of
data breaches, or where an organisation has used information 1
unscrupulously. Although we might feel we can trust some large regulated
organisations, many smaller businesses may have access to our personal
information and use it in ways which we have not consented to. This may lead
to individuals or friends or relatives of individuals having their information
shared amongst people on social media, for example, who could use it
maliciously. However, in my view, these instances of malpractice should not
prevent the use of personal information by organisations who use it in ways
which we have agreed to and which provide us with significant benefits.

In conclusion, personal information is inevitably going to be shared and

stored in ways which were unthinkable just a few ago, but the examples seen
during the pandemic and in targeted advertising indicate that there are
useful ways in which this data can be used and exploited.

Phong:

Data is the new currency of today’s digitalized world and is increasingly

collected and put to use in all aspects of our lives. Even though the benefits
25
that mass collection of personal information can bring are undeniable from
societal and consumer perspectives, I believe that the disadvantages are far
more significant.

On the one hand, the collection of personal data is arguably beneficial for
both society and end consumers. The database held and stored by large
organizations could be shared with governmental agencies to deter would-
be criminals. This can be done through the analysis of data patterns to figure
out if individuals use their phones in unusual and suspicious ways.
Furthermore, it is thought that many large companies amass personal
information to improve user experience and introduce better-quality
products. For example, Facebook records everything consumers do on its
sites and use this data to produce a more friendly-user interface, while online
games are usually refined depending on how users play.

However, the aforementioned benefits are not without any downsides, which
I believe are far more considerable. The storing of data by large corporations
can help predict potential offences, but can simultaneously create a new type
of crime – mass identity theft. Such databases are like ‘goldmines’ and
thereby vulnerable to cyber criminals or hackers, who may illegally sell this
data to other companies. Regarding consumers, an improved user
experience may also mean a higher cost for their products or services. This is

30
because large organizations have to bear the cost of storing and maintaining
data and this expense is often passed on to consumers. 1

In conclusion, people may enjoy a decrease in current crimes and better

products but in my view, the consequences are even more far-reaching,
which are the emergence of cyber-crime and the increasing markups of
products and services. Therefore, we should rethink letting large corporations
(be) in complete control of personal information.

Therefore, we should rethink letting large corporations control personal

information.
Therefore, we should rethink leaving large corporations in complete control
of personal information.

Key learning:

Linking

…..while e-commerce platforms sometimes request a selfie photograph so

they can continue their shopping activities.
26
Collecting user data helps many online shopping companies to analyze and
suggest the products based on the history of the purchase, which in turn
facilitates companies to forecast the product sales and plan the supply of the
particular product.

First and foremost is the personal data privacy issue, which might be hacked.

First and foremost is the privacy issue related to data which might be
hacked/compromised.

The main problem is that people’s privacy might be compromised.

Would

There are many places such as big shopping malls that provide auto-entrance
if the car licence numbers as well as the owner information are registered. If
every city invested in such technology, these would improve the long queues
in business hours.

To conclude, although there would be are potential risks of data retention in

large corporations, I still believe that we have some advantages provided that
we expose our data wisely.

31
If all citizens’ data was held by the state, the I think criminals could be
deterred and the society might be safer. 1

If data is compromised it might lead to espionage.

Firstly, the databases might/could become vulnerable to theft, and

cybercriminals are ready to take advantage of every opportunity presented.

Firstly, consumers could be offered more customised information, saving

their time and improving efficiency (?vague)

Apostrophe ‘s’ - plural or possessive or both?

Plural: customers
Possessive: customers’ information.
Adjective: customer information (no ‘s’, no apostrophe - easy option)

https://ieltsetc.com/2021/06/nouns-as-adjectives/ 27

https://ludwig.guru/s/customer+information+vs+customers'+information

● Many companies collect customers’ information.

● People should be able to use the internet without it having an impact
on an individual's/individuals’ their private lives.
● There are two main advantages of holding an individual's people’s
personal information.
● This can enhance competition between businesses, but also save time
and effort for consumers.

NB the use of ‘individual’ as a synonym for ‘people’ is not recommended as it

has a slightly different meaning.

Register/Style

32
Without using personal information, industries and organizations would be
wandering around the internet aimlessly like lost sheep. 1

28

33
Nowadays people use social media every day* to keep in touch with other 1
people and to get news updates.
● Why do they do this?
● Is it a positive or negative trend?

Fiona:

The rise of social media is one of the most prominent developments of recent
times. However, the news is full of stories of its misuse and the degree to
which people can become addicted to it. This essay will consider the reasons
for the popularity of this method of sharing information, and conclude that
on balance it has more negative impacts than positive.

The benefits of sites such as Facebook and Twitter for both keeping in touch
and getting the latest news center around the fact that they are extremely
fast and easy to use and that everyone can participate and feel connected
wherever they are in the world. Young people find posting their photographs
on an app far more appealing than email or texting, for example. People can
share their lives with others, which gives them a sense of importance which
would not otherwise be possible.

34
Despite these advantages, the ease of access associated with such apps 1
brings a number of risks. The fact that anyone can post freely and
anonymously means that the platforms are open to abuse, and the rise of fake
news and misinformation is a major problem of our times. The information
they provide may be harmful and is often uncensored, which can cause great
distress. Furthermore, its ease of use means that people can become
addicted and spend more time on social media than is healthy for them.

In conclusion, I believe that the harm that social media does outweighs the
benefits. In its current forms, social media is a danger, particularly to young
people, and in my opinion needs to be more stringently regulated.

Key learning:

Social media - is or are?

● most social media is/are free and easy to use.

58%/42% on Ludwig
29
A means of communication vs way of communicating vs way we
communicate

- Technology has revolutionized the ways* of communications

- Social media is now widely used as means for connections*

Topic sentences

Good examples:

● One of the main reasons for this increasing usage of social networks is
to communicate with a wider range of people.
● On the other hand, there are several obvious drawbacks. The most
powerful argument against social media is fake news.
● The reasons why people turn to social media for their news are manifold
and varied, but chief among them is convenience.
● The main reason why people use social media to connect and to get the
latest updates is that it is economical and convenient.
● On the one hand, there are many reasons why people think social
media can be harmful.

35
 ● The main reason for using social media as our communication tool is
affordability and accessibility. 1
● On the other hand, the main challenge facing social media is
maintaining the authenticity of the information.
● The main reasons for the popularity of the social media platforms are
that they are easy to use.

Issues with topic sentences:

Which topic sentence answers the question “Why do people use social media
every day to keep in touch with other people?”

a) The main use of social media is for keeping in contact with friends while
making new ones too.
b) The main reason why social media is so popular is that it is a fast and
affordable way for people to keep in contact with friends and make new
ones.

Which topic sentence answers the question “Why do people use social media
every day to get news updates?”

a) Another common use of social media is for staying up to date.

b) Another reason why people use social media to get the news is that it
is constantly updated. 30

a) People use social media to have easy and quick interactions with family
and friends.
b) One reason why people use social media is because it makes
interactions with family and friends much easier and quicker than
traditional methods such as phone calls and emails.

a) To begin with, it is highly economical to exploit social network

platforms as a way of learning news.
b) One reason why people use social media to get the news is that it is
cheap/affordable.

a) Using social media tools has brought numerous advantages. First and
foremost, they are affordable compared to other methods of keeping in
touch.
b) Another reason why social media is so popular is that it is affordable
compared to other methods of keeping in touch.

36
An app vs an application?
1
Society vs the society

https://app.getbeamer.com/ieltswithfiona/en/daily-tip-society

31

37
There is too much noise in many public places in cities. 1
What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve the
problem?

Fiona:

It is a feature of modern life in cities that much of our activity creates noise.
While this noise is the result of developments that often improve our quality
of life, for many people it has become excessive, and some are seeking a more
peaceful life in the countryside. This essay will argue that city life needs to be
saved from itself so that people enjoy living in cities again.

Our cities have become noisy for a number of reasons. Firstly, the population
explosion has meant that there needs to be more accommodation and
transportation. All of this contributes to noise levels. In addition, technology
and media are central to our lives, and in themselves produce a background
of sounds that are hard to escape. (example? Explain?) Furthermore, we have
become used to high levels of disturbing noise, and so the increase in noise
has grown unchecked.

During the COVID crisis, many people chose to move into the countryside for
the space and quiet. [Topic sentence should be about solutions] Good mental
health often relies on a sense of peace for reflection and relaxation, which can

38
often only be found in relatively unpopulated places. The lesson from this is
that city planners must ensure that all cities contain enough green spaces in 1
which people can enjoy a modicum of quiet. Furthermore, roads should be
diverted around populated areas so that traffic noise is not a constant
disruptive feature in residential areas. A further measure might limit the
hours in which noisy work can be carried out. [The electric revolution in cars
and other vehicles should in itself reduce noise levels dramatically].

In conclusion, there is a sense in which people have had enough of noisy

places, and are already putting pressure on the authorities to do something
about it. They are moving out of towns and cities and into the countryside,
and the green revolution in vehicle technology should help in reducing noise
pollution for us all. (refer back to the question/your solutions more directly).

32
Phong:

Urban noise is one of the major problems facing many cities today. Most noise
pollution can be attributed to road traffic and recreational amenities available
in cities and to mitigate this, a mutual effort from both governments and
individuals is necessary.

One of the primary reasons for too much noise in metropolises is the large
amount of traffic. In many cities, especially where public transportation
infrastructure is underdeveloped, people often opt for personal vehicles. A
cacophony of noise usually results from vehicle traction systems including
the engine and braking or cars honking. Even worse, many make illegal
modifications to exhaust systems, which usually produce obnoxious noise.
Another source of noise may come from recreational amenities such as bars,
restaurants, and occasional sporting events. These establishments usually
open late until midnight and play loud music in order to attract customers.
[Summary sentence perhaps? So all of these add up ….]

Even though noise is inevitable in big cities, some measures can be taken to
mitigate this (the effects). Firstly, governments could introduce laws to limit
heavy vehicles commuting within cities during peak hours and punish those
who use honking systems incessantly during this time. A fine can also be
imposed on those who make illegal vehicle modifications. As for [Another
solution could be for urban planners to plant more trees.] urban planners,
more trees and skyscrapers, which are known as noise absorbers, should be
planted and built in densely-populated areas (won’t more skyscrapers bring

39
more people and more noise?). Finally, individuals can also play their part by
curbing their journeys using private vehicles and switching to public 1
transport, reducing the amount of traffic on roads.

In conclusion, noise pollution in many cities is an inevitable part of

urbanization, usually stemming from large numbers of motorbikes, cars, and
trucks travelling through these areas and from leisure amenities. Therefore,
governments and individuals should work collectively to help address this
problem.

Key learning:

● Answer the question IN THE INTRO - most of today’s intros were way
too general 33
● Don’t waste time/words talking about the effects - mention them in the
intro or conclusion if you want to but focus on causes and solutions for
main body paras.

*honking *beeping horns = sounding horns

You’re not supposed to sound your horn on any ‘restricted road’ between the
hours of 11.30pm and 7am. Within these hours, use of a horn is considered
antisocial: it’s likely to disturb people trying to sleep.

The Highway Code also prohibits stationary vehicles from beeping. So if you’re
parked up anywhere, you should avoid honking your horn.

40