Jerry Finnegan’s Sister

By Jack Neary

INTRODUCTION
ACTOR: Every guy has as specific girl-next-door prototype, but in general, she's the girl
whom you always admired from afar and were afraid to approach
ACTRESS: Who me? Cute, kind, unassuming, and honest! Thank you!
(next 2 lines are said concurrently)
ACTOR: So why am I so afraid to even talk to her? I’ve known her . . . . forever
ACTRESS: So why is he so afraid to even talk to me? I’ve known him . . . . forever
ACTOR: It’s because she’s Jerry Finnegan’s Sister
ACTRESS: by Jack Neary.

BRIAN: Look, you don’t know me. That’s a problem. I’m telling you this story, see, and

it’s about me, sort of, but it’s mostly about her. I got up this morning and I said

to myself: “Today is the day. Today I will make contact with Jerry Finnegan’s

sister come Hell or high water.” There’s she been, next door, for most of my

life, and here I was, doing absolutely nothing about it. It was so frustrating.

From our very first meeting, when the Finnegans moved next door. I was about

seven.
(FLASHBACK)
BETH: Hi!

BRIAN: Who’s that? Aawww. The new kid has a sister? That stinks!

BETH: Hi!

BRIAN: No! I don’t wanna say hi!

BETH: Hi!

BRIAN: I’m not gonna play with you.

BETH: Okay

BRIAN: You can’t make me.

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BETH: Okay

BRIAN: My father sweats through two shirts when he jobs.

BETH: My father . . .

BRIAN: And he lets me stand on the hamper and watch him bleed when he shaves.

BETH: My father . . .

BRIAN: And he says if it stinks, it stinks and we should say it stinks!

BETH: MY FATHER EATS LIGHT BULBS AT PARTIES!

(PRESENT – To Audience)
BRIAN: After that I didn’t have anything substantial to say to Beth for a long time. She

made me crazy. I guess though that my silence was trying to make a point.

Although, mainly, I think I was just trying not to get humiliated.

(FLASHBACK)
BETH: I know you’re setting up in your room, Brian. Know what I’m reading? It’s a book

called “Meet Your Body.” It tells you all about every single solitary inch of your

body and what you’re supposed to do with each part! How come you talk to Jerry

but you won’t talk to me? Is it because I’m a girl and you’re a boy? I’ve met my

body. I know the difference! Well . . . want me to tell you how the book turns

out?
(PRESENT – To Audience)
BRIAN: We had that book the year before. All I could think about when she yelled up at

me that day was Chapter Nine. Then I thought about Beth. Then I thought

about Beth and Chapter Nine! Then I threw up. It occurred to me at twelve

years old that I was no longer able to retain Beth Finnegan as the object of my

pre-adolescent scorn. All I had to do was come up with the right words. But the

words got in the way. Actually . . . other thinhs got in the way as well.
(FLASHBACK)
BETH: Boys.

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BRIAN: Boys?

BETH: I like boys a lot!

BRIAN: Don’t say that.

BETH: Why not?

BRIAN: Somebody’ll hear you.

BETH: Boys, I hope!

BRIAN: But you can’t just . . . say things like that . . . You have to . . . you know . . . think

them and hope the . . . people you’re . . . thinking about . . . think back the same

thing.

BETH: OK, what if it’s you? You’re at a party and you bump into a girl you like. And she

looks right in your face . . . and she says, “I like boys, a lot!” What do you do?

BRIAN: I . . . I turn the other way.

BETH: A girl looks you in your face and says, “I like boys, a lot!” and you turn the other

way? WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITH YOU?!

BRIAN: I DON’T KNOW, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ME?!

BETH: Brian? You are one sick puppy!

(PRESENT – To Audience)
BRIAN: She noticed! Anyway, before I can do anything about it, she turned fourteen. I

no longer have the nuns as my allies in keeping the boys away from the girls in

the schoolyard. Beth Finnegan, the girl next door, is now fair game to each and

every budding hormonal case a Chelmsford High.

(FLASHBACK)
BETH: Stanley Tryscinski asked me out! And he’s sixteen!

BRIAN: So you went.

BETH: On a date!

BRIAN: Did you enjoy yourself?

BETH: Yeah, until he kissed me. That wasn’t so wondrous. But it was memorable.

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BRIAN: Oh, Beth. Why did you let Stanley Tryscinski have your first kiss?

BETH: He was there.

(PRESENT – To Audience)
BRIAN: I know what you’re thinking . . . you’re thinking: “There it was, Bozo. That was

your chance. All you had to do was find the right words and it would have been

your turn.” Every time I came in contact with her, something inside me said,

“Brian, this is your life’s work. This woman is your future. Do something about

it.” So I tried. In my own way.

(FLASHBACK)
BETH: Are you going to your prom?

BRIAN: I haven’t given it much thought.

BETH: Well, do you have somebody to go with?

BRIAN: (to audience) My entire life flashed before my eyes . . .

BETH: Brian?

BRIAN: (to audience) Thee seconds it took. And that included the good parts.

BETH: Brian . . . why are you looking at me like that?

BRIAN: (to audience) Was I actually going to say it?

BETH: You weren’t going to ask me, were you?

BRIAN: (to audience) Nope. (to Beth) No! Oh, no! Of course not!

BETH: Oh, well, I was just wondering. I’ll go try on the next one.
(PRESENT – To Audience)
BRIAN: Jerry and I both got into UConn on track scholarships. But, as much as I trusted

Jerry Finnegan, I could not, for the life of me, tell him how I felt about his

sister. Jerry and I kind of parted ways during my junior year. Which was where

things stood last night when I got the call from Jerry telling me Beth was

getting married. So, all day today I’ve struggled to put the words together in my

brain. The words are now there. Now they have to get to her. And I have to do

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 it by phone. I cannot look her in the face and say what I have to say. (Dials
phone)
BETH: (on phone) Hello?
BRIAN: Hello.

BETH: Brian?

BRIAN: Hi . . . Jerry called me last night. He said . . . you were going to get . . . married.

BETH: Are you going to congratulate me?

BRIAN: Oh . . . yeah . . .

BETH: There is no guy, Brian.

BRIAN: Who is there then?

BETH: I’m not getting married.

BRIAN: But, Jerry said . . .

BETH: Jerry cares very much about you, Brian. He knows you very well.

BRIAN: Yeah, but . . .

BETH: I think this is it . . . I think your best friend has set you up and I think this is

your chance and I think you’d better grab it.

BRIAN: You mean Jerry lied to me?

BETH: To get you to call me, yes.

BRIAN: And, the thought that if I were mad enough I’d finally tell you . . .

BETH: Say it, Brian!

BRIAN: (to audience) This is it. The time has come to ask the question I’ve been avoiding

for almost ten years. The hardest question ever asked since the dawn of time.

And after the question will come the answer that will seal my fate. Talk about

crucial. (to Beth) Will you go out with me sometime?

BETH: Ok. How about tonight?

BRIAN: (pause) No. Now. Meet me in the driveway now!

BETH: Now?

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BRIAN: Now!
(SCENE)
BETH: Ok. I’m here. What’s going on, Brian?

BRIAN: Beth, will you go out with me sometime?

BETH: I already said I would.

BRIAN: (Grabs her shoulders) Beth . . . will you go out with me sometime?

BETH: Oh . . . oh, yes, I will.

BRIAN: I did it.

BETH: You asked me to my face.

BRIAN: Yeah. And you answered me to mine. And I’m still here. I’m still Brian.

BETH: Looks that way.

BRIAN: You said yes.

BETH: I said yes.

BRIAN: (to audience) Well, that’s it. You can go home now.

SOURCE INFORMATION
Author: Jack Neary
ISBN: 978-0871293008
Publisher: Dramatic Publishing
Date (Month/Year): Aug 1993

AWARD HISTORY

2003 National Qualifier

2004 National Qualifier 2014 National Qualifier
2005 National Qualifier 2015 National Qualifier
2006 National Qualifier IL State Qualifier
2007 National Qualifier Ohio State Qualifier
2008 National Qualifier KS State Qualifier
2009 National Qualifier
2010 National Qualifier
2011 National Qualifier
2012 National Qualifier

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