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 T R A N S C E N D E N TA L N U M B E R T H E O RY

First published in 1975, this classic book gives a systematic account of transcendental
number theory, that is, the theory of those numbers that cannot be expressed as the roots of
algebraic equations having rational coefficients. Their study has developed into a fertile and
extensive theory, which continues to see rapid progress today. Expositions are presented of
theories relating to linear forms in the logarithms of algebraic numbers, of Schmidt’s
generalization of the Thue–Siegel–Roth theorem, of Shidlovsky’s work on Siegel’s
E-functions and of Sprindžuk’s solution to the Mahler conjecture.
This edition includes an introduction written by David Masser describing Baker’s
achievement, surveying the content of each chapter and explaining the main argument of
Baker’s method in broad strokes. A new afterword lists recent developments related to
Baker’s work.

Alan Baker was one of the leading British mathematicians of the past century. He took great
strides in number theory by, among other achievements, obtaining a vast generalization of
the Gelfond–Schneider Theorem and using it to give effective solutions to a large class of
Diophantine problems. This work kicked off a new era in transcendental number theory
and won Baker the Fields Medal in 1970.

David Masser is Professor Emeritus in the Department of Mathematics and Computer

Science at the University of Basel. He is a leading researcher in transcendence methods and
applications and helped correct the proofs of the original edition of Transcendental Number
Theory as Baker’s student.
 CAMBRIDGE
MATHEMATICAL LIBRARY

Cambridge University Press has a long and honourable history of publishing in

mathematics and counts many classics of the mathematical literature within its list.
Some of these titles have been out of print for many years now and yet the methods
which they espouse are still of considerable relevance today.
The Cambridge Mathematical Library provides an inexpensive edition of these
titles in a durable paperback format and at a price that will make the books attractive
to individuals wishing to add them to their own personal libraries. Certain volumes in
the series have a foreword, written by a leading expert in the subject, which places the
title in its historical and mathematical context.

A complete list of books in the series can be found at www.cambridge.org/mathematics.

Recent titles include the following:

Attractors for Semigroups and Evolution Equations

OLGA A. LADYZHENSKAYA
Fourier Analysis
T. W. KÖRNER
Transcendental Number Theory
ALAN BAKER
An Introduction to Symbolic Dynamics and Coding (Second Edition)
DOUGLAS LIND & BRIAN MARCUS
Reversibility and Stochastic Networks
F. P. KELLY
The Geometry of Moduli Spaces of Sheaves (Second Edition)
DANIEL HUYBRECHTS & MANFRED LEHN
Smooth Compactifications of Locally Symmetric Varieties (Second Edition)
AVNER ASH, DAVID MUMFORD, MICHAEL RAPOPORT &
YUNG-SHENG TAI
Markov Chains and Stochastic Stability (Second Edition)
SEAN MEYN & RICHARD L. TWEEDIE
T R A N S C E N D E N TA L
N U M B E R THEORY

A L A N BA K E R F. R . S .

With an Introduction by

DAV I D M A S S E R
Universität Basel, Switzerland
 University Printing House, Cambridge CB2 8BS, United Kingdom

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It furthers the University’s mission by disseminating knowledge in the pursuit of

education, learning, and research at the highest international levels of excellence.

www.cambridge.org
Information on this title: www.cambridge.org/9781009229944
DOI: 10.1017/9781009229937

© Cambridge University Press 1975

This publication is in copyright. Subject to statutory exception

and to the provisions of relevant collective licensing agreements,
no reproduction of any part may take place without the written
permission of Cambridge University Press.

First published 1975

Reprinted with additional material 1979
Reissued as a paperback with updated material in the Cambridge Mathematical Library series 1990
Reprinted with introduction 2022

A catalogue record for this publication is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-009-22994-4 Paperback

Cambridge University Press has no responsibility for the persistence or accuracy

of URLs for external or third-party internet websites referred to in this publication
and does not guarantee that any content on such websites is, or will remain,
accurate or appropriate.
 Contents

Introduction by David Masser page ix

Preface xiii

1 The origins
1 Liouville’s theorem 1
2 Transcendence of e 3
3 Lindemann’s theorem 6
2 Linear forms in logarithms
1 Introduction 9
2 Corollaries 11
3 Notation 12
4 The auxiliary function 13
5 Proof of main theorem 20
3 Lower bounds for linear forms
1 Introduction 22
2 Preliminaries 24
3 The auxiliary function 28
4 Proof of main theorem 34
4 Diophantine equations
1 Introduction 36
2 The Thue equation 38
3 The hyperelliptic equation 40
4 Curves of genus 1 43
5 Quantitative bounds 44

v
vi CONTENTS

5 Class numbers of imaginary quadratic fields

1 Introduction 47
2 L-functions 48
3 Limit formula 50
4 Class number 1 51
5 Class number 2 52
6 Elliptic functions
1 Introduction 55
2 Corollaries 56
3 Linear equations 58
4 The auxiliary function 58
5 Proof of main theorem 60
6 Periods and quasi-periods 61
7 Rational approximations to algebraic numbers
1 Introduction 66
2 Wronskians 69
3 The index 69
4 A combinatorial lemma 73
5 Grids 74
6 The auxiliary polynomial 75
7 Successive minima 76
8 Comparison of minima 79
9 Exterior algebra 81
10 Proof of main theorem 82
8 Mahler’s classification
1 Introduction 85
2 A-numbers 87
3 Algebraic dependence 88
4 Heights of polynomials 89
5 S-numbers 90
6 U -numbers 90
7 T -numbers 92
9 Metrical theory
1 Introduction 95
2 Zeros of polynomials 96
3 Null sets 98
 CONTENTS vii

4 Intersections of intervals 99
5 Proof of main theorem 100
10 The exponential function
1 Introduction 103
2 Fundamental polynomials 104
3 Proof of main theorem 108
11 The Siegel-Shidlovsky theorems
1 Introduction 109
2 Basic construction 111
3 Further lemmas 114
4 Proof of main theorem 115
12 Algebraic independence
1 Introduction 118
2 Exponential polynomials 120
3 Heights 122
4 Algebraic criterion 124
5 Main arguments 125

Bibliography 129
Original papers 130
Further publications 145
New developments 155
Some developments since 1990 by David Masser 162
Index 166
 Introduction
David Masser

On the first page of the Bibliography are listed earlier works about some of the
topics treated in this monograph. In particular the books of Gelfond, Schneider
and Siegel are universally regarded as milestones in the development of the
theory of transcendental numbers. Each book was based largely on the author’s
own breakthroughs.
The present monograph represented a similar milestone. Chapters 2, 3, 4,
5, 9, 10, and to a lesser extent Chapters 6, 8, cover material due to the author
Alan Baker. This material and Baker’s own further developments of it earned
him a Fields Medal in 1970.
Of course it is the material in Chapter 2 that constitutes the heart of his
achievement. This is explained in the first two pages with a characteristic
brevity and modesty. Here we wish to complement this with the following
less brief and modest account.
The essential ideas can be conveyed through the special case of his
Theorem 2.1 for n = 2,3, even ignoring the extra 1 that appears there.
We start with n = 2. It amounts to the impossibility of

β log α = log α  (1)

for α,α  non-zero algebraic numbers and β irrational algebraic. Of course this
is the Gelfond–Schneider Theorem of 1934. It also follows from Theorem 6.1
of Chapter 6, and we proceed to sketch the argument.
We assume (1) and we will obtain a contradiction. Following Gelfond we
construct a non-zero polynomial F , say in Z[x,y], such that

f (z) = F (ez,eβz ) (2)

has many zeroes. More precisely we need the derivatives

f (t) (s log α) = 0 (3)

ix
x INTRODUCTION

for a certain range of integers

t < T, 1 ≤ s ≤ S (4)

with T ,S integers to be suitably chosen later. Thus we have zeroes at

log α, . . . ,S log α and moreover of multiplicity at least T . The point is that
the functions ez,eβz in (2) take the values

elog α = α, eβ log α = elog α = α 

at say z = log α; and these are algebraic numbers. Similarly at s log α and
with multiplicities. Thus the conditions (3) are homogeneous linear equations
in the coefficients of F . Under appropriate assumptions relating T ,S to the
degree of F , these can be solved non-trivially; and using things like Lemma 1
of Chapter 2 or Lemma 1 of Chapter 6 one can make sure that the resulting
coefficients are not too large.
Next, Gelfond used analytic techniques to show that the values f (t) (s log α)
are very small on a range larger than (3). Compare (8) of Chapter 2 and the
use of Cauchy’s Theorem in section 5 of Chapter 6. These values are still
algebraic numbers, and then arithmetic techniques show that they are in fact
zero. Compare Lemma 3 of Chapter 2 or Lemma 3 of Chapter 6 (nowadays one
tends to use heights, with a definition slightly different from that of Chapter 1).
Together these lead to (3) for the new range

t < 2T , 1 ≤ s ≤ 2S (5)

slightly larger than (4) (this is not quite consistent with Baker’s remark near
the end of section 1 of Chapter 2 or the method of section 5 of Chapter 6, but
it simplifies the proof a little).
And now the step from (4) to (5) can be iterated, and even indefinitely.
This provides infinite multiplicities, and so this f must be identically zero.
Taking into account the irrationality of β, we see that this implies that F is
also identically zero; our required contradiction.
Next for n = 3 we have to reach a similar contradiction from

β1 log α1 + β2 log α2 = log α  (6)

instead of (1), where α1,α2,α  are non-zero algebraic and β1,β2 are algebraic,
this time with 1,β1,β2 linearly independent over Q. Even this was a new result.
Baker’s first step looks natural: to construct now

f (z1,z2 ) = F (ez1 ,ez2 ,eβ1 z1 +β2 z2 ) (7)

 INTRODUCTION xi

instead of (2) with many zeroes; but no-one had written this down before.
Still less had anyone considered multiplicities, now defined by the partial
derivatives
   
∂ t1 ∂ t2
f (s log α1,s log α2 ) = 0 (8)
∂z1 ∂z2
instead of (3). Note that there is no (s1 log α1,s2 log α2 ) here, because we do
not have the Cartesian product situation for C2 mentioned in section 1 of
Chapter 2. In fact our (s log α1,s log α2 ) lie on a complex line in C2 .
Baker took a range
t1 + t2 < T , 1 ≤ s ≤ S (9)
instead of (4), and the problem is then to increase this as in (5).
Now the experts know that the world of two complex variables is very
different from that of a single variable. Possibly Baker did not know this.
Anyway, to this day no-one knows how to reach t1 + t2 < 2T as in (5).
He probably started by reducing to C via
g(z) = f (z log α1,z log α2 ). (10)
Then we deduce
g (t) (s) = 0 (t < T , 1 ≤ s ≤ S).
The twin analytic-arithmetic argument then shows that g(s) = 0 for a
larger range of s, that is, f (s log α1,s log α2 ) = 0. However, as it stands
we cannot deduce even g  (s) = 0 because differentiation in (10) introduces
transcendental numbers, so we cannot get at, say,
 
∂
f (s log α1,s log α2 ) (11)
∂z1
in this way.
Now that we have set up the scene, Baker’s solution to this problem may
seem in retrospect obvious: we use (10) with f replaced by (∂/∂z1 )f . For
the new g we get almost (9), but now only for t < T − 1. However this tiny
loss does not affect the argument, and we find indeed that (11) vanishes on the
larger range of s.
And what about higher derivatives? To get at some
   
∂ τ1 ∂ τ2
f (s log α1,s log α2 )
∂z1 ∂z2
we use (10) with f replaced by (∂/∂z1 )τ1 (∂/∂z2 )τ2 f . We then get (9) for
t < T − τ1 − τ2 . If we aim for all τ1,τ2 just with τ1 + τ2 < T , then hardly
xii INTRODUCTION

anything remains of the multiplicity; so it is wiser to restrict to say τ1 + τ2 <

T /2, thus securing t < T /2. Now the loss is less tiny, but still acceptable.
We end up with (8) on the range, say,
t1 + t2 < T /2, 1 ≤ s ≤ 8S. (12)
As (9) is about T 2 S/2 conditions and (12) is about T 2 S conditions, we do
actually have more zeroes.
But now another problem arises: we cannot iterate indefinitely the step from
(9) to (12).
In fact a related problem had turned up before Baker; for example when
trying to show that the two sides of (1) cannot even be too near to each other.
And indeed Baker was able to extend the classical methods; in this case the
argument of section 5 of Chapter 2 amounts to the use of a non-vanishing
Vandermonde determinant.
All this extends to n logarithms, and then to include 1 as in Theorem 2.1. In
our notation assuming
β0 + β1 log α1 + · · · + βn−1 log αn−1 = log α , (13)
we have to use
f (z0,z1, . . . ,zn−1 ) = F (z0,ez1 , . . . ,ezn−1 ,eβ0 z0 +β1 z1 +···+βn−1 zn−1 )
in place of (7) at (s,s log α1, . . . ,s log αn−1 ) – compare Lemma 2 of Chapter 2.
This completes our account of Chapter 2. On the way, we have mentioned
the problem of approximate versions of (1), and the corresponding generaliza-
tions to (6) and (13) are treated in Chapter 3. It is these that are needed for the
applications in Chapters 4 and 5.
It is these applications, to Diophantine equations and class numbers, that
were the most spectacular of his achievements. It is enough here to cite the
first ever upper bounds for the solutions of Mordell’s equation y 2 = x 3 + k
with a history going back to 1621, and the verification of Gauss’s conjectures
from 1801 about imaginary quadratic fields with class numbers h = 1 and
h = 2.
But one should not overlook the less spectacular material in Chapter 6,
whose subsequent developments (by others) will be described in the afterword.
 Preface

Fermat, Euler, Lagrange, Legendre . . . introitum ad penetralia huius divinae

scientiae aperuerunt, quantisque divitiis abundent patefecerunt
Gauss, Disquisitiones Arithmeticae

The study of transcendental numbers, springing from such diverse sources

as the ancient Greek question concerning the squaring of the circle, the
rudimentary researches of Liouville and Cantor, Hermite’s investigations on
the exponential function and the seventh of Hilbert’s famous list of 23
problems, has now developed into a fertile and extensive theory, enriching
widespread branches of mathematics; and the time has seemed opportune to
prepare a systematic treatise. My aim has been to provide a comprehensive
account of the recent major discoveries in the field; the text includes, more
especially, expositions of the latest theories relating to linear forms in the
logarithms of algebraic numbers, of Schmidt’s generalization of the Thue–
Siegel–Roth theorem, of Shidlovsky’s work on Siegel’s E-functions and of
Sprindžuk’s solution to the Mahler conjecture. Classical aspects of the subject
are discussed in the course of the narrative; in particular, to facilitate the
acquisition of a true historical perspective, a survey of the theory as it existed
at about the turn of the century is given at the beginning. Proofs in the subject
tend, as will be appreciated, to be long and intricate, and thus it has been
necessary to select for detailed treatment only the most fundamental results;
moreover, generally speaking, emphasis has been placed on arguments which
have led to the strongest propositions known to date or have yielded the
widest application. Nevertheless, it is hoped that adequate references have been
included to associated works.
Notwithstanding its long history, it will be apparent that the theory of
transcendental numbers bears a youthful countenance. Many topics would

xiii
xiv PREFACE

certainly benefit by deeper studies and several famous longstanding problems

remain open. As examples, one need mention only the celebrated conjectures
concerning the algebraic independence of e and π and the transcendence of
Euler’s constant γ , the solution to either of which would represent a major
advance. If this book should play some small rôle in promoting future progress,
the author will be well satisfied.
The text has arisen from numerous lectures delivered in Cambridge,
America and elsewhere, and it has also formed the substance of an Adams
Prize essay.
I am grateful to Dr D. W. Masser for his kind assistance in checking the
proofs, and also to the Cambridge University Press for the care they have taken
with the printing.

Cambridge, 1974 A.B.

Another Random Scribd Document
with Unrelated Content
Upon a wall of medium height
Bombastically sat
A boastful boy, and he was quite
Unreasonably fat:
And what aroused a most intense
Disgust in passers-by
Was his abnormal impudence
In hailing them with "Hi!"
While by his kicks he loosened bricks
The girls to terrify.

When thus for half an hour or more

He'd played his idle tricks,
And wounded something like a score
Of people with the bricks,
A man who kept a fuel shop
Across from where he sat
Remarked: "Well, this has got to stop."
Then, snatching up his hat,
And sallying out, began to shout:
"Look here! Come down from that!"

The boastful boy to laugh began,

As laughs a vapid clown,
And cried: "It takes a bigger man
Than you to call me down!
This wall is smooth, this wall is high,
And safe from every one.
No acrobat could do what I
Had been and gone and done!"
Though this reviled, the other smiled,
And said: "Just wait, my son!"

Then to the interested throng

That watched across the way
He showed with smiling face a long
He showed with smiling face a long
And slender Henry Clay,
Remarking: "In upon my shelves
All kinds of coal there are.
Step in, my friends, and help yourselves.
And he who first can jar
That wretched urchin off his perch
Will get this good cigar."

The throng this task did not disdain,

But threw with heart and soul,
Till round the youth there raged a rain
Of lumps of cannel-coal.
He dodged for all that he was worth,
Till one bombarder deft
Triumphant brought him down to earth,
Of vanity bereft.
"I see," said he, "that this is the
Coal day when I get left."

The moralis that fuel can

Become the tool of fate
When thrown upon a little man,
Instead of on a grate.
This story proves that when a brat
Imagines he's admired,
And acts in such a fashion that
He makes his neighbors tired,
That little fool, who's much too cool;
Gets warmed when coal is fired.
"WHILE BY KICKS HE LOOSENED BRICKS"
THE PREPOSTEROUS PERFORMANCE
OF

AN OLD LADY OF BANBURY

Within a little attic a retiring, but erratic
Old lady (six-and-eighty, to be frank),
Made sauces out of cranberry for all the town
of Banbury,
Depositing the proceeds in the bank.
Her tendency to thriftiness, her scorn of any
shiftiness
Built a bustling business, and in course
Of time her secret yearnings were revealed,
and all her earnings
She squandered in the purchase of a horse.

"I am not in a hurry for a waggonette or

surrey,"
She said. "In fact, I much prefer to ride."
And spite of all premonishment, to everyone's
astonishment,
The gay old lady did so—and astride!
Now this was most periculous, but, what was
more ridiculous,
The horse she bought had pulled a car,
and so,
The lazy steed to cheer up, she'd a bell upon
her stirrup,
And rang it twice to make the creature go!

I blush the truth to utter, but it seems a

pound of butter
And thirty eggs she had to sell. Of course,
In scorn of ways pedestrian, this fatuous
equestrian
To market gaily started on the horse.
Becoming too importunate to hasten, the un—
fortunate
Old lady plied her charger with a birch.
In view of all her cronies this stupidest of
In view of all her cronies, this stupidest of
ponies
Fell flat before the Presbyterian church!

If it should chance that one set a red Italian

sunset
Beside a Beardsley poster, and a plaid
Like any canny Highlander's beside a Fiji
Islander's
Most variegated costume, and should add
A Turner composition, and with clever intuition,
To cap the climax, pile upon them all
The aurora borealis, then veracity, not malice,
Might claim a close resemblance to her fall.

At sight of her disaster, with arnica and plaster

The neighbors ran up eagerly to aid.
They cried: "Don't do that offen, ma'am, or
you will need a coffin, ma'am,
You've hurt your solar plexus, we're afraid.
We hope your martyrdom'll let you notice
what an omelette
You've made in half a jiffy. It is great!"
She only clutched her bonnet (she had fallen
flat upon it),
And answered: "Will you tell me if it's
straight?"

The moral's
rather curious: for often the
penurious
Are apt to think old horses of account
If you would ride, then seek fine examples of
the equine,
And don't look on a molehill as a mount.
THE QUIXOTIC QUEST
OF

THREE BLIND MICE

A maiden mouse of an arrogant mind
Had three little swains and all were blind.
The reason for this I do not know,
But I think it was love that made them so,
For without demur they bowed to her,
Though she treated them all with a high hauteur.
She ruled them, schooled them, frequently fooled them,
Snubbed, tormented, and ridiculed them:
Mice as a rule are much like men,
So they swallowed their pride and called again.

The maiden mouse of an arrogant mind

To morbid romance was much inclined.
The reason for this I have not learned,
But I think by novels her head was turned.
She said that the chap who dared to nap
One hour inside of the farmer's trap
Might gain her, reign her, wholly enchain her,
Woo her, win her, and thence retain her!
Hope ran high in each suitor's breast,
And all determined to stand the test.

The maiden mouse of an arrogant mind

Laughed when she saw them thus confined.
The reason for this I can't proclaim,
But I know some girls who'd have done the same!
As thus they kept to their word, and slept,
The farmer's wife to the pantry stept:
She sought them, caught them, carefully brought them
Out to the light, and there she taught them
How that chivalry often fails,
By calmly cutting off all their tails!

The maiden mouse of an arrogant mind

Treated her swains in a way unkind.
The reason for this is not complex:
The reason for this is not complex:
That's always the way with the tender sex.
With impudent hails she cried: "What ails
You all, and where are your splendid tails?"
She jeered so, sneered so, flouted and fleered so,
Giggled, and altogether appeared so
Lacking in heart, that her slaves grew bored,
And threw up the sponge of their own accord.

The maiden mouse of an arrogant mind

Watched and waited, and peaked and pined.
The reason for this, I beg to state,
Is all summed up in the words Too Late!
The moral intwined is: Love is blind,
But he never leaves all his wits behind:
You may beat him, cheat him, often defeat him,
Though he be true with torture treat him:
One of these days you'll be bereft,
You think you're right, but you'll find you're left.
THE REMARKABLE REGIMEN
OF

THE SPRAT FAMILY

The Sprats were four in number,
Including twins in kilts:
All day Jack carted lumber,
All day his wife made quilts.
Thus heartlessly neglected
Twelve hours in twenty-four,
As might have been expected,
The twins sat on the floor:
And all the buttons, I should state,
They chanced to find, they promptly ate.
This was not meat, but still it's true
We did the same when we were two.

The wife (whose name was Julia)

Maintained an ample board,
But one thing was peculiar,
Lean meat she quite abhorred.
Here also should be stated
Another fact: 'tis that
Her spouse abominated
The very taste of fat.
This contrast curious of taste
Precluded any thought of waste,
For all they left of any meal
No self-respecting dog would steal.

No generous table d'hôte meal,

No dainties packed in tins,
But only bowls of oatmeal
They gave the wretched twins;
And yet like princes pampered
Had lived those babes accursed,
Could they have fed unhampered:—
I have not told the worst!
Since nothing from the dining-room
Was left to feed the cook and groom
Was left to feed the cook and groom,
It seems that these domestics cruel
Were led to steal the children's gruel!

The twins, all hopes resigning,

And wounded to the core,
Confined themselves to dining
On buttons off the floor.
No passionate resentment
The docile babes displayed:
Each day in calm contentment
Three hearty meals they made.
And daily Jack and Mrs. Sprat
Ate all the lean and all the fat,
And every day the groom and cook
The children's meal contrived to hook.

But when the twins grew older,

As twins are apt to do,
And, shoulder touching shoulder,
Sat Sundays in their pew.
They saw no Christian glory
In parting with a dime,
And in the offertory
Dropped buttons every time.
Said they: "What's good enough for Sprats
Is good enough for heathen brats."
(I most sincerely wish I knew
What was the heathen's point of view.)

The moral: Anecdotes abound

Of buttons in collections found.
Thus on the wheels of progress go,
And heathens reap what Christians sew!
THE SINGULAR SANGFROID
OF

BABY BUNTING
Bartholomew Benjamin Bunting
Had only three passions in life,
And one of the trio was hunting,
The others his babe and his wife:
And always, so rigid his habits,
He frolicked at home until two,
And then started hunting for rabbits,
And hunted till fall of the dew.

Belinda Bellonia Bunting,

Thus widowed for half of the day,
Her duty maternal confronting,
With baby would patiently play.
When thus was her energy wasted
A patented food she'd dispense.
(She had bought it the day that they pasted
The posters all over her fence.)

But Bonaparte Buckingham Bunting,

The infant thus blindly adored,
Replied to her worship by grunting,
Which showed he was brutally bored.
'Twas little he cared for the troubles
Of life. Like a crab on the sands,
From his sweet little mouth he blew bubbles,
And threatened the air with his hands.

Bartholomew Benjamin Bunting

One night, as his wife let him in,
Produced as the fruit of his hunting
A cottontail's velvety skin,
Which, seeing young Bonaparte wriggle,
He gave him without a demur,
And the babe with an aqueous giggle
He swallowed the whole of the fur!
Belinda Bellonia Bunting
Behaved like a consummate loon:
Her offspring in frenzy confronting
She screamed herself mottled maroon:
She felt of his vertebræ spinal,
Expecting he'd surely succumb,
And gave him one vigorous, final,
Hard prod in the pit of his tum.

But Bonaparte Buckingham Bunting,

At first but a trifle perplexed,
By a change in his manner of grunting
Soon showed he was terribly vexed.
He displayed not a sign of repentance
But spoke, in a dignified tone,
The only consecutive sentence
He uttered. 'Twas: "Lemme alone."

The Moral: The parent that uses

Precaution his folly regrets:
An infant gets all that he chooses,
An infant chews all that he gets.
And colics? He constantly has 'em
So long as his food is the best,
But he'll swallow with never a spasm
What ostriches couldn't digest!
THE TOUCHING TENDERNESS
OF

KING KARL THE FIRST

For hunger and thirst King Karl the First
Had a stoical, stern disdain:
The food that he ordered consistently bordered
On what is described as plain.
Much trouble his cook ambitiously took
To tickle his frugal taste,
But all of his savoury science and slavery
Ended in naught but waste.

Said the steward: "The thing to tempt the King

And charm his indifferent eye
No doubt is a tasty, delectable pasty.
Make him a blackbird pie!"
The cook at these words baked twenty-four birds,
And set them before the King,
And the two dozen odious, bold, and melodious
Singers began to sing.

The King in surprise said: "Dozens of pies

In the course of our life we've tried,
But never before us was served up a chorus
Like this that we hear inside!"
With a thunderous look he ordered the cook
And the steward before him brought,
And with a beatified smile: "He is satisfied!"
Both of these innocents thought.

"Of sinners the worst," said Karl the First,

"Is the barbarous ruffian that
A song-bird would slaughter, unless for his daughter
Or wife he is trimming a hat.
We'll punish you so for the future you'll know
That from mercy you can't depart.
Observe that your lenient, kind, intervenient
King has a tender heart!"
He saw that the cook in a neighboring brook
Was drowned (as he quite deserved),
And he ordered the steward at once to be skewered.
(The steward was much unnerved.)
"It's a curious thing," said the merciful King,
"That monarchs so tender are,
So oft we're affected that we have suspected that
We are too kind by far."

The moral: The mercy of men and of Kings

Are apt to be wholly dissimilar things.
In spite of "The Merchant of Venice," we're pained
To note that the quality's sometimes strained.

"SHE PLUCKED HIM WITH RELENTLESS

FROWN"
THE UNUSUAL UBIQUITY
OF

THE INQUISITIVE GANDER

A gander dwelt upon a farm
And no one could resist him,
For had he died, such was his charm,
His neighbors would have missed him:
His scorn for any loud display,
His cheerful hissing day by day,
Would win your heart in such a way
You almost could have kissed him.

This bird was always nosing 'round.

Most patiently he waited
Until an open door he found,
And then investigated.
He loved to poke, he loved to peek,
In every knothole, so to speak,
He quickly thrust his prying beak,
For what was hid he hated.

The farm exhausted: "Now," said he:

"My policy's expansion.
When one's convinced how things should be
The proper course he can't shun.
His mind made up, he followed it,
Relying on his native wit,
And soon had wandered, bit by bit,
Through all his master's mansion.

"At least," he said: "It's not my fault

If everything's not seen to:
I've gone from garret down to vault,
And glanced into the lean-to.
In every room I've chanced to stop;
A supervising glance to drop,
I've looked below, I've looked on top,
Behind, and in between, too!"
One thing alone he found to blame,
As thus his time he squandered,
For, seeing not the farmer's dame,
Into her room he wandered,
And mounting nimbly on the bed:
"Why, bless my careful soul!" he said:
"These pillows are as hard as lead.
Now, how comes that?" he pondered.

The farmer's dame for half an hour

Had watched the bird meander,
And finding him within her power,
She leaped upon the gander.
"Why, how de do, my gander coy?"
She shouted: "What will be my joy
To dream to-night on you, my boy!"
(This was no baseless slander.)

For with a stoutish piece of string

Securely was this fool tied,
And by a leg and by a wing
Unto an oaken stool tied:
While, pinning towels around her gown,
She plucked him with relentless frown,
And stuffed the pillows with his down,
And roasted him for Yuletide.

The moralis: When you explore

Don't try to be superior:
Be cautious, and retire before
Your safety grows inferior.
'Tis best to stay upon the coast,
Or some day you will be like most
Of all that bold exploring host
That's gone to the interior.
THE END
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