The Body Language of Liars From Little White Lies to
Pathological DeceptionHow to See through the Fibs, Frauds,
and Falsehoods People Tell You Every Day
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THE BODY LANGUAGE OF
LIARS
FROM LITTLE WHITE LIES TO
PATHOLOGICAL DECEPTION
How to See Through the Fibs, Frauds, and
Falsehoods People Tell You Every Day
LILLIAN GLASS, PHD
Best-selling author of Toxic People
Copyright © 2014 by Lillian Glass
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright
Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any
form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system now known
or hereafter invented, without written permission from the publisher, The
Career Press.
THE BODY LANGUAGE OF LIARS
EDITED BY KIRSTEN DALLEY
LAYOUT AND DESIGN BY KARA KUMPEL
Cover design by Brad Foltz/Foltz Design
Printed in the U.S.A.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
CIP Data Available Upon Request.
To anyone who has ever felt shock, emotional pain, or heartache
after discovering that someone whom you trusted with all your heart,
lied to you.
May the pages of this book give you all of the information you will
ever need to quickly decipher and unveil who is real and who is
phony, who is telling you the truth and who is lying to you.
May what you learn in this book provide you with peace of mind,
less stress, and more confidence in your life.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to acknowledge my two precious muses—my beautiful,
brilliant, and charismatic mom, Rosalee Glass (“Miss Congeniality”), and
my precious, cuddly, incredibly smart baby goldendoodle, Annabella Glass,
both of whom always make me smile and count my blessings. Thank you
for making my writing breaks fun.
And thank you to my dear literary agent, Paula Munier; to Career Press;
and to Jennifer White at Splash News and Mary Velasco at Getty Images,
for their assistance in the use of the celebrity photos throughout this book.
CONTENTS
Introduction
Part I: Encountering the Liar: Who Lies, and Why?
Chapter 1: What Is a Lie?
Chapter 2: The Price of a Lie
Chapter 3: The Evolution of a Liar: Why Animals (Yes, Animals!),
Children, and Young People Lie
Chapter 4: The Seven Reasons Adults Lie
Chapter 5: Cyber Liars
Part II: Human Lie Detection
Chapter 6: Instincts and Context
Chapter 7: The Body Language of a Liar
Chapter 8: The Facial Language of a Liar
Chapter 9: The Voice of a Liar: Pitch, Volume, Tone, and Pacing
Chapter 10: Speech Content: It’s Not Just Words
Chapter 11: Your Lying Eyes: Lovers Who Cheat and Deceive
Chapter 12: A Profile of the Most Toxic Liar of All—The
Psychopath/Sociopath
Conclusion: The Catharsis of Discovery
Index
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
Being fooled, conned, duped, or just plain lied to can happen to anyone. It
doesn’t matter how smart, old, rich, or famous you are. Almost everyone at
one point in their life, and in one way or another, has been the victim of a
liar—someone who has withheld the truth or given them false information.
Whether you have been unfortunate enough to have met up with someone
who has scammed you in business; swindled you out of money; betrayed
you by spreading falsehoods; stolen your lover, husband, or wife; conned
you over the Internet, or “catfished” you by purporting to be someone they
were not—rest assured that you are not alone. The world is full of these
most toxic of people, the liar.
When you find out that someone whom you once trusted, loved, or
respected deceived you, a myriad of strong emotions can arise. These
emotions range from feeling shocked, hurt, depressed, sad, and/or angry—
sometimes all of them at once. You wonder whom you can really trust or
whether you can ever trust again. You even tend to question your own
judgment. You may even beat yourself up emotionally as you constantly ask
yourself why you didn’t see the signs of their lies well ahead of time.
But realistically speaking, how could you have seen the signs if you
didn’t know what signs to look for?
How could you have known that your spouse was cheating on you, that a
suitor you met over the internet was a phony, that your housekeeper was
stealing from you, or that your babysitter was neglecting (or worse,
abusing) your child? How could you have known that your boss was full of
it when he said your performance was great, only to fire you the next day?
How could you have possibly known that your coworker was badmouthing
you behind your back, or that your employee was bilking funds from the
petty cash? How could you have been able to tell that your closest friend
was being insincere when she told you that marrying your troubled
boyfriend was a great idea? What signals did you miss when your son
swore he never experimented with drugs, only to find his bong and a stash
of pot under his bed later?
How do you know whether you can trust what you read in the media
about certain newsmakers? Is that celebrity couple really in love, or is their
relationship merely a PR ploy? How can you be sure your political leaders
are telling you the truth, or that those on the world stage aren’t really lying
to you?
Researcher and pioneer in the field of lying Paul Ekman of the
University of California San Francisco studied 12,000 people. He
discovered that only a little more than 50 percent of them were able to tell if
someone was lying. Thus the odds of being able to figure out whether
someone is lying to you are not great. However, these odds can increase
dramatically when you know how to read certain signals that will alert you
to the fact that someone is not telling the truth. My aim in writing this book
is to help you increase those odds. I will teach you how to trust your
instincts when you have that “gut feeling” that someone is lying to you.
More specifically, I will show you what to look for in terms of possible
signals of deception in a person’s body language, facial language
(expressions and movements), voice patterns, and finally, their speech
patterns—how they say what they say and even what they write over the
Internet.
MY BACKGROUND
As a body language analyst, I have been able to report the deception of
newsmakers—politicians, sports figures, world leaders, celebrities, and
criminals who appear throughout the media. I have done this for years. I
have appeared often on various national television shows such as 20/20, Dr.
Phil, Entertainment Tonight, ABC News, Good Morning America, CNN,
The Today Show, The Insider, HLN, Discovery Channel, MSNBC, and many
other programs too numerous to list here. I was even the body language
expert for Dancing With the Stars and Millionaire Matchmaker.
In addition, I regularly appear in newspapers, magazines, and all over the
Internet, where I comment on whether I think newsmakers are lying or
telling the truth. I explore whether celebrity couples are telling the truth
about their relationship or just presenting it as a public relations
opportunity. As well, I examine whether politicians or world leaders are
telling us the truth, or merely reciting some not-very-heartfelt rhetoric. I am
constantly asked by the media to examine the body language of those
involved in high-profile criminal cases, and whether I think suspects are
exhibiting signals of deception or telling the truth. Additionally, I report on
whether those newsmakers involved in humiliating public scandals are
telling us the truth or lying through their teeth.
I have also drawn on my expertise as a body-language analyst in my
lectures to law enforcement across the United States and Canada on how to
detect deception during interrogations. Perhaps my biggest achievement
was the honor of being invited to speak to the FBI, where my lectures
included how to recognize the signals of deception.
Most of my work in the area of recognizing deception has been in the
legal field, where I have assisted attorneys in picking up relevant
information during their questioning of witnesses, as well as focusing the
direction of their case. From analyzing surveillance tapes of a drug bust,
deposition tapes, interrogation tapes of those involved in child molestation
and sexual harassment and abuse cases, to studying the movements of
suspects, plaintiffs, defendants, and key witnesses during trial, I have been
able to pick out specific instances of possible signs of deception. I decided
to share the same techniques I use in my professional life with you
throughout the pages of this book. I wanted to do this to empower you to be
able to tell who is and who is not telling the truth—simply by looking at
their body and facial movements, listening to how they sound, and
deciphering what they say.
LYING NEWSMAKERS
The specific signals of deception will be permanently etched into your
brain as you see actual photos taken of newsmakers as they were engaged
in acts of deception. You will read the actual words they said during
interviews or testimonies, which also help to illustrate their deception. You
will be able to point out specific body language and facial signals, or
“tells,” that you may have previously overlooked or ignored. Now, it will all
begin to make sense when you see the signals occurring at the exact
moment they lied.
You will now see these photos with a new set of eyes, from a different
perspective. For instance, you will notice the nuances of former President
Clinton’s facial expressions and body movements, and understand more
about signals of deception that could be heard in his voice when he pointed
his finger and angrily stated, “I did not have sex with that woman—Ms.
Lewinsky.” You will see signals of deception of other politicians and even
understand what signals former Presidential candidate John Edwards gave
off when he lied about the paternity of his child with mistress Rielle Hunter
during an ABC Nightline interview.
You will discover the actual moment various criminals in the news—
everyone from O.J. Simpson, Jerry Sandusky, and Scott and Drew Peterson,
to financial schemer Bernard Madoff and a host of others—have engaged in
deception. You will even learn how to profile the deceptive patterns of the
most toxic of liars, the sociopath, by looking at the traits and MO’s of such
conscienceless criminals as Ted Bundy and Charles Manson. You will also
examine the body and facial language of disgraced athletes who lied, such
as Lance Armstrong and Barry Bonds, as well as troubled entertainers such
as actress and wild child Lindsay Lohan. In looking at photos of celebrity
couples, you will learn how to tell whether a relationship is in trouble.
Even though a celebrity couple may have insisted to the press that all
was well with their relationship, you will clearly see how their body
language and facial expressions can tell a much different story. You will see
photos depicting the body language of couples such as reality star Kim
Kardashian and basketball player Kris Humphries, actors Tom Cruise and
Katie Holmes, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, golfer Tiger Woods and
model Elin Nordegren, singer Katy Perry and comedic actor Russell Brand,
and how it revealed the signals that they were actually headed for a breakup
far before their split was made public. You will even note the body language
of singer Chris Brown and his girlfriend, Rihanna, after the couple reunited
and claimed they were happy together.
Viewing the precise moment newsmakers exhibited deception, whether
through a sweaty upper lip, a squinted eye, a clenched jaw, a cocked head,
or a pointed finger, will allow you to easily recognize that particular signal
of deception in others with whom you live, play, or do business.
WHAT TO EXPECT IN THIS BOOK
This book is divided into two sections. In the first section, you will learn
what happens to you emotionally when people lie to you, and the
importance of being vigilant during these challenging times. Next, you will
discover when and how lying begins, and how it may even be a significant
part of normal human development. You will learn why animals, children,
teens, and adults lie, and what kinds of lies they tell. You will come to
understand how “little white lies” and even bigger lies can be positive and
have beneficial effects. Conversely, you will see how lying can destroy
lives, as you learn to recognize habitual liars, “catfishers,” Internet
schemers, and even sociopaths. And, because you can’t see or hear someone
over the Internet, you will learn about the red flags to look for in peoples’
writing that can alert you to possible deception. This section will uncover
what signs to look for as you socialize or conduct business online.
The second section of the book provides you with the profile of a liar.
You will learn the importance of context and trusting your own instincts, as
well as listening to your own body language signals, all of which can clue
you in to possibility that someone may be lying to you. You will learn what
clues to look for in a liar’s body language, facial expressions, voice, and
speech patterns. You will essentially learn how to become a human lie
detector as you learn the specific signs of lying that present on the human
body—the head, eyes, nose, mouth, lips, jaw, teeth, ears, hair, skin, arms,
hands, torso, posture, legs, and, finally, feet. You will also learn how to
listen to specific speech and vocal patterns and word choices that may
reveal the liar. You will even discover key words and phrases and
communication signals that liars often use when they speak or write. You
will even learn how to use all of these techniques to recognize the most
toxic of liars—the sociopath.
NEVER AGAIN!
Today, you cannot be too careful when it comes to determining who is
friend or foe, who is honest or who is a liar. Whether buying a car, entering
into a new business venture, getting ahead at your job, finding the right
mate, remaining in a marriage (or not!), or making sure your kids are not
engaging in illegal activities, you have no choice but to be a vigilant
observer. You need to know if newsmakers, including your elected officials,
are telling the truth or selling you a bill of goods. And, because so much of
your socializing and work now take place online, you are at a huge
disadvantage if you don’t know the signs of cyber liars.
After reading this book, you will never have to be the one who says, “I
never saw it coming,” “I was ripped off,” “I got conned,” or “Someone took
advantage of me.” Now you will be able to see the visual signals and hear
the auditory signs of deception well ahead of time so that you never again
fall prey to the liar.
Editorial note: In an attempt to achieve gender neutrality and avoid
awkward sentence structure, we have alternated feminine and masculine
pronouns.
PART I
ENCOUNTERING THE LIAR: WHO LIES,
AND WHY?
In this section, you will discover what various religions and cultures
have to say about lying and under what circumstances it may be acceptable
to lie. You will learn when lying begins and how it may be part of our
normal development. You will learn why infants, children, teens, adults, and
even animals lie, and the different types of lies they tell. You will learn
about the emotional consequences of lying, and the effects on your psyche
when people lie to you. You will explore the potential positive effects of the
“little white lies” and see how bigger lies can ruin lives. Finally, you will
learn how to detect cyber frauds in both the business and the romance
arenas.
