The New Mom's Survival Guide How to Reclaim Your Body,

Your Health, Your Sanity and Your Sex Life After Having a
Baby

Visit the link below to download the full version of this book:

https://medipdf.com/product/the-new-moms-survival-guide-how-to-reclaim-your-body
-your-health-your-sanity-and-your-sex-life-after-having-a-baby/

Click Download Now

 Postpartum Depression

The Different Faces of Postpartum Depression: Depression and

Anxiety

Postpartum Psychosis

Sleep Cycle Problems

6. Your New Self

Loneliness

Going Back to Work—Or Not

Marital Strain

7. Losing Your Extra Self

How to Safely Lose the Weight

The Danger of Fad Diets for New Moms

Postpartum Exercise

8. Defending Yourself from Your Child’s Diseases

Pinkeye

The Croup

Strep Throat

Parvovirus (“Fifth Disease”)

Impetigo

Chicken Pox
 Stomach Flu

Lice

9. Self-Care

Screening Tests for Mom

AFTERWORD

BIBLIOGRAPHY

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

ALSO BY JENNIFER WIDER

COPYRIGHT
 For my dad

Who has brought more than 5,000 lives into the world.
Your professionalism, integrity, and compassion
embody the very essence of being a doctor.
and
For my mom
My personal survival guide.
Your selflessness, encouragement, and unconditional love
embody the very essence of being a mother.
 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Writing a book while raising young children can be a bit of a challenge, so I

have more than a few people to thank. First off, thank you to my husband
and my rock, Erez, who has continuously supported me through several
manuscripts, late-night and early-morning radio shows, and reading my
articles in Cosmo magazine (publicly). Your patience, kindness, and
encouragement mean so much.

A special thank-you goes to my daughter, Orly, who is by far my biggest

fan and who recently told me that she’d buy all my books in the bookstore
if they languished on the shelf for more than two days. Your creativity,
artistic abilities, and love of learning continue to inspire me.

And another special thank-you to my son, Ryan, whose afternoon nap

allowed me to finish this book. Your curiosity and cleverness are a joy to
watch develop. Thanks, too, to The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Curious
George, and Really Rosie videos that gave me a few extra minutes when
Ryan woke up.

Being a mommy to both of you makes me a better person.

Thank you to all of the new moms who shared their experiences with me.
A sincere thank-you goes to Lisa, Emily, Macon, Jamey, Annie, and our
fearless leader, Karen B.—the original Brooklyn mommy group. And thank
you to Laurice, who was always there to go through so many first year
challenges with me.

Thank you to Susan Arellano who recognized the need for this book.
And, finally, I’d like to thank Beth Rashbaum, whose tireless efforts and
extraordinary editing abilities helped to make this book a reality.
 INTRODUCTION

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had absolutely no idea what to
expect. I went about my business as if nothing was different. At work I’d
occasionally glance down at my growing belly as thoughts of chubby, quiet,
smiling babies dressed all in white filled my mind. I had convinced myself
that my life wouldn’t really change.

Fast-forward to after delivery—I was sitting in my infant daughter’s

room and we were both crying. She was crying because she needed a new
diaper; I was crying because I missed my old life, felt wiped out from lack
of sleep, and was simmering with resentment toward my husband, whose
life hadn’t really changed at all. To add insult to injury, he came home that
night “in the mood.” Was he on drugs?

Two months later, just as my daughter turned three months, I started a

support group for new mothers. We were thrilled to be new mothers (most
of the time), but we were also filled with raw, mixed, and overpowering
emotions. And although each discussion always began with our children,
the conversation eventually veered back to us.

We spoke about our sex lives, or lack thereof; our emotional state; the
changes in our bodies, which we feared were permanent; our issues about
staying at home versus going back to work, and oh so much more. Each
week there was a new topic, and when the women found out that I was a
doctor, the conversations shifted to our physical health: “Is it normal that
my hair is falling out?” “Why can’t I lose the weight?” “Why are my feet
larger; will they ever shrink to their normal size?” “If my child has the
croup, can I get it?” “When will it stop hurting to have sex?” “Ever since I
had my son, when I laugh, urine comes out—is that normal?” We had all
spent the nine months of pregnancy strictly monitored by a staff of medical
professionals; but once the baby came, we were dropped like hotcakes.
Even our families stopped asking how we were feeling! It became apparent
to me that women have health issues that extend well beyond the birth of a
baby, and questions that need answers. Just because we’d each had a baby,
it didn’t mean that our minds and bodies had ceased to exist.

There was no single resource available to us that could credibly answer

our questions. And the resources that do deal with this period tend to focus
on the health of the baby, not the baby’s mother. If Mom is mentioned
anywhere outside the epilogue, it is usually only in the context of
postpartum depression. But new moms have many other health concerns
that are particularly likely to arise at this time.

I remember at one of our support group sessions, a woman had spotted a

skin change under her arm, and after going online, she came in crying
hysterically, convinced she was dying from skin cancer. She didn’t realize
that certain skin changes were normal during and after pregnancy. What she
had spotted turned out to be a normal skin tag.

As a doctor and a mother, I knew I had to do something. So I set out to

write a book that could offer new mothers sound and reassuring medical
advice about their physical and mental health. I interviewed a multitude of
new moms to find out what issues were relevant to their lives. What I found
was that given the time and opportunity, new moms have a lot to say.

Women are the caretakers for their families. They are responsible for the
health and well-being of their partners, their children, and often their aging
parents as well. But sometimes their own health issues can get lost in the
shuffle. My hope is that I have created a solid, well-researched health guide
for new moms that addresses their concerns about themselves—those
concerns that tend to get buried in the avalanche of information about the
health of their children.
 1

Your Healthy Self

THE BASICS

You’ve got to love your husband. He has sex, he has an orgasm,

ejaculates, and nine months later calls himself Dad. You have sex, probably
without an orgasm; for the next thirty minutes you lie propped up on a
pillow with your legs in the air, hoping his sperm will make its way up the
cervical canal and meet up with your egg; and then you wait anxiously until
you can take a pregnancy test to find out whether in nine months you’ll be
able to call yourself Mom. Of course, all of this assumes you had planned to
get pregnant, which doesn’t take into account the percentage of
pregnancies, however welcome they may be, that are unplanned.

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg, right? You spend the next few
months nauseated, vomiting, and eating saltines. All the while, he takes
clients to four-star restaurants and eats four-course meals. While your body
contorts into different shapes, his body stays exactly the same. Maybe he
gains a few extra pity pounds—but for the most part, you’re on your own.

Over the months that follow, you complain—a lot. He comforts you
while flicking the TiVo controller. You burp, fart, and have heartburn that
could light your house on fire. He smiles, rubs your feet, tells you what a
great job you’re doing.

When you get to bed, you can’t sleep; he sleeps like a baby. Your mind is
racing: Will I be a good parent? What will our lives be like? How will I
cope? Maybe you even wake him out of his sound sleep with your
questions. “Piece of cake,” he tells you, and falls fast asleep again. You
gaze down at your enormous belly, your aching breasts, the spider veins
that are slowly creeping their way up your legs. You look at his body as he
snores and realize that nothing’s changed for him; is this fair? Do I even
need to answer that question?

I always hated those husbands that told people, “We’re pregnant.” What
do they mean, “we”? Are they kidding? We are NOT pregnant. If men could
get pregnant we’d become extinct, and it wouldn’t be gradual, either. It
would be sudden, like an explosion, and nine months later, the human race
would cease to exist.

All right, I’m running away with myself—but just a little.

It doesn’t end there, though. After the baby comes out, your husband’s
body is still normal, but yours has gone through a war. You’re breaking out
and having mood swings like a teenager. He’s trying to help but looks a
little scared, and not of fatherhood, mind you—you think he might be
scared of you! You look in the mirror; why wouldn’t he be scared of you?
Your feet are large, your hair is falling out, you haven’t slept, and you’re
leaking from every opening in your body. Then, you gaze down at your
sleeping baby and take a deep breath, while your husband hands you a cup
of chamomile tea, and you know it’s all worthwhile. That doesn’t mean,
however, that there aren’t a lot of changes to be reckoned with, physical and
emotional, and challenges to be overcome.

This book was written to help you learn how to take care of yourself after
having a baby, and to let you know when you need to go to a doctor or other
health professional when self-care isn’t enough. With everybody’s focus on
the baby, it’s easy for Mom to be forgotten. But if you’re not well,
physically or mentally, your baby will suffer too. Your baby needs a healthy
mother. Taking care of yourself is a crucial step in learning how to take care
of your family.

WHAT’S UP WITH MY SKIN?

I don’t know about you, but I miss that “pregnancy glow.” People used to
come up to me left and right to tell me how good I looked and how much
pregnancy agreed with me. After giving birth, however, it became
abundantly clear that pregnancy had taken a toll on my skin. The glow was
replaced by acne, stretch marks on my body, and spider veins on my legs.
Friends complained of varicose veins and skin tags too. On top of the
sleepless nights and stress which could make even a china doll break out,
we were plagued by feelings that we’d never look as good as we had before
we got pregnant. Here’s the scoop on some of the top skin concerns and
what you can do about them.

Acne

Why am I breaking out like a teenager? I’m a mom, for goodness

sakes.

Unfortunately, being a mom won’t protect you from your hormones,

which have been on a roller-coaster ride lately. Acne during pregnancy is
not uncommon and can linger after the baby’s born. Surging hormone levels
are responsible for an increase in oil-gland production, which can make the
skin a breeding ground for zits. So if you thought your pimples ended with
high school graduation, think again!

How come my girlfriend has the clearest complexion of all time and
I look like a pimple-product commercial?

The same reason why she had heartburn during pregnancy and you
didn’t: We’re all different. Some women will have acne and others won’t. If
you’ve suffered from acne in the past, especially during your period, it is
more likely you will have acne during and after your pregnancy. There is
some good news, however: Nursing may protect your skin from breaking
out. Another good reason to breastfeed.
 Will it ever go away?

Yes, acne will disappear for most women when their hormone levels
normalize, usually within a few months. If you have a history of breaking
out prior or during your menstrual cycle, you can expect the same pattern
once you stop breastfeeding and your period resumes. But look on the
bright side: At least you don’t have to go to the senior prom with a pimple
on your nose!

What can I do about those pesky zits in the meantime?

Remember back when Mom told you not to pop them? The same advice
still applies. Do not touch or squeeze your acne—you can get a nasty
infection which is the last thing you need right now.

Take care of your skin and keep it clean. Dermatologists recommend

washing your face with a mild cleanser twice a day. Over-the-counter
products which contain benzoyl peroxide and/or salicylic acid should be
safe if you’re nursing; just check the label. If the problem is really bad, you
may need a prescription. Make an appointment with a dermatologist, and
make sure the doctor knows you’re nursing before he or she prescribes any
medication.

Stretch Marks

Before getting pregnant, everyone warned me about stretch marks.

What are they and why do we get them?
 Stretch marks are one of those unwanted little gifts of pregnancy.
Because that growing baby made your uterus expand so much, your
tummy’s skin paid the price. Stretch marks are reddish, slightly depressed
streaks that are seen on the abdomen and occasionally on the buttocks,
breasts, and thighs.

They appear because the elastic tissue in your skin gets worn down as it
stretches and grows with your pregnant body. Pregnant women aren’t the
only people blessed with stretch marks. Anyone experiencing rapid weight
gain is at risk too, including bodybuilders, overweight and obese people,
and even kids going through puberty.

Does everyone get them?

No. There are (very lucky) women out there without a single stretch mark
on their bodies. Studies show that roughly fifty percent of women have
stretch marks during and after their pregnancies.

Your stretch mark risk goes up if you are carrying more than one baby,
have a large baby, or gain weight rapidly.

When will they go away?

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? Let’s start with the bad
news: They won’t really go away. But, here’s the good news: They’ll fade.
Stretch marks fade significantly by six to twelve months post-pregnancy. So
instead of those lovely reddish streaks, you’re left with a silvery white
remnant. Just consider it a battle scar from pregnancy!
 Can I prevent them from happening to me?

My mother-in-law says yes. She swears by cocoa butter and bought me a

tub of cream to slather all over myself during my first pregnancy. After my
clothes repeatedly got stuck to my stomach and thighs, I did some research.
The real answer is no. (I didn’t have the heart to tell her and re-gifted the
second tub of cream during my second pregnancy to an unsuspecting
relative!) No cream or lotion has been medically proven to help. So don’t
waste your money.

Varicose Veins

Help! I have large, twisted, blue veins running down the back of my
calves.

Welcome to the club that no one wants a membership to. You have
varicose veins, enlarged, cordlike veins that often take up residence in your
legs. Let’s be honest: They’re not so pretty. They often conjure up images of
Grandma in a bathing suit.

Why do we get them?

Pregnant women are vulnerable to varicose veins for several reasons.

Pregnancy increases the amount of blood in your body and the blood can
pool in your legs, making the veins larger. As your uterus gets bigger with
the growing baby, the added pressure gets exerted on the veins in your legs.
Plus, your hormones can relax the walls of the veins, further adding to the
problem.

My legs ache; could it be the varicose veins?

Unfortunately, yes. To add insult to injury, varicose veins can cause pain,
aches, a feeling of heaviness, and cramps. They can also cause itchiness and
throbbing. These symptoms tend to get worse if you sit or stand in one
place for an extended period of time.

Take note: If one leg becomes swollen, red, or painful, seek medical
attention right away. You may have a blood clot and need to see a doctor
immediately.

Is there relief for my symptoms?

Yes. Many doctors recommend compression stockings, which won’t land

you on the fashion pages of the newspaper, but will help ease your aches
and pains. By compressing the flesh of your legs, they help get the blood
moving more efficiently. Speak with your doctor and make sure the
stockings fit properly. Getting the wrong size isn’t going to help, especially
if the stockings are too big.

I thought the varicose veins would disappear after I gave birth. But
mine haven’t. What’s up with that?
 Most varicose veins will improve within three months post-pregnancy.
But some will linger. If yours are sticking around and causing unpleasant
symptoms, it’s time to see a doctor.

What’s the treatment for varicose veins?

Good news: There are many different treatments for varicose veins. From
surgery to injections to lasers, you have a host of different options. And you
have many different types of doctors to choose from as well: Plastic
surgeons, interventional radiologists, and dermatologists all perform these
kinds of procedures. Discuss the options with your primary doctor to see
which one is right for you. Remember, all procedures can have possible side
effects, so discuss these as well.

Spider Veins

I noticed red, branching blood vessels on my legs—what are these?

They’re called spider veins, another battle scar of pregnancy. But don’t
despair: They usually fade quite a bit post-pregnancy.

Why do I have them?

Spider veins are thin veins that lie close to the surface of the skin. They
show up when you’re pregnant because of the increase in blood circulation.
They’re also caused by hormonal changes. Some experts believe that
crossing your legs while sitting can bring them on because the blood in your