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in 2023

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CAP Gian
Writer’s

NELSON
 NELSON
The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, Ninth Edition
by Gary Lipschutz, Sandra Scarry, and John Scarry

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COPYRIGHT © 2021, 2017 Library and Archives Canada Cataloguing in Publication

by Nelson Education Ltd.
Title: The Canadian writer's workplace / Gary Lipschutz,
Printed and bound in Canada Sandra Scarry, John Scarry.
{| 2B A Wey Aw 7i| BO
Names: Lipschutz, Gary, 1964- author. |Scarry, Sandra,
For more information contact 1946- author. |Scarry, John, author.
Nelson Education Ltd., 1120 Birchmount Road,
Toronto, Ontario, M1K 5G4. Or you can visit our Description: Ninth edition. | Includes index.
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 Why Am | Here?
Welcome to the ninth edition of The Canadian Writer’s Workplace!
At this point, you may be asking yourself questions like these:

Why am I here (in an English course)? After all, I received 95 in high school
English, and I thought I would never have to take an English course again.
Why am I learning how to write a paragraph when I’ve already written essays
that I’ve gotten 90’s on?
Why am I required to take English when it doesn’t seem relevant to my program?
Why do I need more English than I already have? I already speak English. It’s my
first and only language, and I speak it well enough to get by. There are so many
students whose first language is something other than English; they are still
learning it, but I already know it.

These are all legitimate concerns. Here are some responses:

If you plan to practise your career in an English-speaking country, no course
is more relevant than English. How well you communicate what you know will
determine, more than anything else, how far you go.
You might have gotten 90’s in high school English, but a postsecondary
education is going to focus on different aspects of the subject. High school English
may have concentrated more on the generation of ideas, for example, while college
places more emphasis on clarity, style, sentence structure, document formatting, and
textual analysis to prepare you for success in the workplace.

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NEL
 English is made up of several complex skills: writing, speaking, and
comprehension based on reading and listening. Everybody has strengths and
weaknesses. The course into which you’ve been placed might be perfect for dealing
with your particular weaknesses. See it as an opportunity, not a problem. Grab the
opportunity to learn something. Make yourself stronger!
It doesn’t matter if English is your only language or your third. One never stops
learning a language. Luckily, you can apply your language skills to everything in your
life—professional and personal. Everyone knows how important first impressions are.
Imagine the value of using language effectively in making a powerful first impression.
Better language skills will also help you to think more clearly, to focus more
quickly, to articulate more precisely and intelligently, and to argue more effectively.
How can such skills not be relevant to your career?
Become a more powerful and effective communicator. Give the course, your
professor, this book, and yourself a chance; you will get back more than you expect.
Improving your English will help you to get what you want. Change your language.
Change your life!
Gary Lipschutz

CHANGE
YOUR
LANGUAGE
CHANGE
YOUR
ATF ED

vi Why Am | Here? NEL

 Brief Contents
Why Am | Here? Vv
Preface xix

Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview 2

Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 12
Chapter3 Solving Verb Problems 28
Chapter4 Subject-Verb Agreement 44
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 53
Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 75
Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons 89
Chapter8 Parallel Structure 99
Chapter9 Pronouns 106
Chapter 10 Modifiers: Misplaced and Dangling 117
Chapter11 Punctuation 122
Chapter 12 Capitalization 142
Chapter 13. Unit |Review: Using All You Have Learned 147

Chapter 14 Understanding What You Read 156

Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and Summarizing 163
Chapter 16 Quoting 171
Chapter 1/ Answering the Question 176

Chapter 18 The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 186

Chapter 19 The Paragraph 197
Chapter 20 The Essay 216
Chapter21 Style 238
Chapter 22 Revising and Editing 249
Chapter 23 The Research Paper 257
Chapter 24. Documentation 264

Unit IV: Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay

Chapter 25 Argumentation 282
Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 294
Chapter 27. Comparison and/or Contrast 305
Chapter 28 Process 316
Chapter 29 Description 327

vii
 Chapter 30 Definition 339
Chapter 31 Classification 349
Chapter 32 Narration 358

Unit V: Major Readings 371

AGrain of Gold John Artibello 372

Banning Junk Food — Leah McLaren 375
How to Get Happily Married Julia McKinnell 378
A Matter of Postal Codes Ken MacQueen 381
Inthe Library Gary Lipschutz 385
Excuses, Excuses Adrian Lee 388
ILost MyTalk RitaJoe 391
A Tough Approach That Might Work =James C. Morton 393
Grammar and Your Salary Peter Harris 397
Beyond Cannabis Akwasi Owusu-Bempah 400
The Economic Cost of Depression Gary Lamphier 404
The Other Family =Himani Bannerji 407
Cyber Misogyny Brett Throop 412
Not Just Hollywood = Leah McLaren 415
What’s Missing? =Gary Lipschutz 418
FacetoFace Brian Bethune 423
Monster Chelsea Vowel 427

Unit Vi: Appendices

Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 432
Appencix 5 Answer Key to Practices 453

Online Appendices
Go to nelson.com/student and see the Student Companion site for
The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, Ninth Edition.
Appencix © — Solving Spelling Problems
Appenc'xD — Irregular Verbs

Glossary 467
Index 470

Viii Brief Contents NEL

 Contents

Why Am | Here?
Preface

Unit I: Sentence Skills

Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview

Quick Quiz
" ive mn What Are Nouns?
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What Are Pronouns?
What Are Adjectives?
What Are Verbs?
What Are Adverbs?
What Are Prepositions?
Hero Images/Getty Images
What Are Conjunctions?
What Are Interjections?
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Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs

Quick Quiz
Why Should We Use Complete Sentences When We Write?
What Is a Complete Sentence?
How Do You Find the Subject of aSentence?
Finding the Subject in Sentences with Prepositional Phrases
What Are the Other Problems in Finding Subjects? ee
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How Do You Find the Verb of aSentence?

Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Singling Out Subjects 1S)
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Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems

Quick Quiz
What Are the Principal Parts of the Irregular Verbs?
Avoiding Unnecessary Shifts in Verb Tense wrMey
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What Is the Sequence ofTenses? 34

How Do You Use the Present Perfect and the Past Perfect Tenses?
What Is the Difference between Active and Passive Voice?
What Is the Subjunctive?
Other Problems with Verbs
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Verbs, Not Verbiage

NEL
ix
 Chapter4 Subject-Verb Agreement
Quick Quiz
Subject-Verb Agreement within the Sentence
Special Problems in Making Verbs Agree with Their Subjects
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Magazine Mayhem

Chapter 5 Coordination and Subordination

Quick Quiz 1
Quick Quiz 2
What Is Coordination?
Combining Sentences Using Coordination
What Is Subordination?
Combining Sentences Using Subordination
How Do You Punctuate a Clause with a Relative Pronoun?
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Practising Coordination and Subordination

Chapter 6 Correcting Fragments

Quick Quiz
Recognizing and Correcting Sentence Fragments
What Is a Fragment?
How Do You Correct a Fragment?
Don't Confuse Phrases with Sentences
laking a Complete Sentence from a Fragment That Contains a Verbal
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Editing Ad Copy

Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons

Quick Quiz
Run-Ons Are Not Long Sentences
What Kinds of Run-Ons Are There?
How Do You Make a Complete Sentence from a Run-On?
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Plot without Run-Ons

Chapter 8 Parallel Structure

Quick Quiz
What Is Parallel Structure?
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Practise Making Sentences Parallel

Chapter 9 Pronouns
Quick Quiz
Pronouns and Case

Contents NEL
 Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement
Missing, Ambiguous, orRepetitious Pronouns
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Practise with Pronouns

Chapter 10 Modifiers: Misplaced and Dangling

Quick Quiz
What Are Modifiers?
What Are Misplaced Modifiers?
What Are Dangling Modifiers?
Chapter Review Exercises
Working Together: Modifiers Making the Difference

Chapter 11 Punctuation 122

Quick Quiz 2
Correct Punctuation: A Strong Indicator of a Writer's Competence 122
The Eight Basic Rules of the Comma 123
Other Marks of Punctuation 130
Chapter Review Exercises iP5s2)
Working Together: Designing Punctuation Tests 141

Chapter 12 Capitalization 142

Quick Quiz 142
Ten Basic Rules for Capitalization 142
Chapter Review Exercises 145
Working Together: Designing Capitalization Tests 146

Chapter 13 Unit | Review: Using All You Have Learned 147

Editing Sentences for Errors 147
Editing Paragraphs for Errors 152
Working Together: Remembering Your Canadian Trip 154

Unit Il: The Reading-Writing Connection

Chapter 14 Understanding What You Read 156
You Are Not Alone
Reading Strategies
] . Previewing
2 . Taking Notes, Annotating, and Highlighting
3 . Reading and Answering Questions That Follow the Reading
Hoxton/Tom Merton/ 4 . Rereading
Getty Images
5. Journalling
6 . Reading Topic Sentences
ih_ Looking Up Words You Don't Understand
8. Looking Up References Online That You Don't Understand
Working Together: The Best Way to Learn Is to Teach

NEL
Contents xi
 Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and Summarizing 163
Paraphrasing 163
Summarizing 166
Acknowledging the Author (or Attribution) 168
Avoid Unintentional Plagiarism 168
An Example of Plagiarism and Its Real-Life Consequences 169
Analyzing and Critiquing 169
Working Together: Summarizing Opposing Points of View 170

Chapter 16 Quoting 171

Text References: Quotations and Paraphrased Ideas Wa
How Much Do You Quote? 172
Short (Integrated) Quotation ys
Longer (Block) Quotation 173
Analyzing the Quotation or Idea 174
Working Together: Celebrity Canadians 174

Chapter 17 Answering the Question 176

Understanding What Is Asked 176
Direct Answer to a Direct Question 176
How to Write Well under Pressure eae
Strategies for Answering Timed In-Class Essay Questions 178
Example of an Essay Question 179
Frequently Used Terms in Essay Questions 179
Using the Thesis Statement in Essay Questions 180
Practising Writing in Response to Reading 183
Working Together: Formulating Essay Questions 183

Unit Ill: The Writing Process

Chapter |8 The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay
Stage One: Prewriting 186
Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing) 191
Stage Three: The Rough Draft 192
Stage Four: Postwriting (Revising, Editing, and Proofreading) 193
eee Working Together: Prewriting Activities 195

Chapter 19 The Paragraph 197

What Is a Paragraph? 197
What Does a Paragraph Look Like? IF,
What Is a Topic Sentence? 198
How Do You Find the Topic in a Topic Sentence? 200
What Is a Controlling Idea? 201
Choosing Your Own Controlling Idea 202
What Is a Supporting Detail? 204

Xii Contents NEL

 Two Types
Qualities of Good Supporting Detail
How Do You Make Supporting Details Specific?
The Concluding Sentence
Sample Outline Format
Working Together: Controlling Ideas and
Supporting Details

Chapter 20 The Essay

Writing Is a Skill
The Components of an Essay
Moving from the Paragraph to the Essay
A Third Format: The Preliminary Essay
Structure ofthe Preliminary Essay
Model Preliminary Essay |: Good Habits
Model Preliminary Essay II: Benefits of Marijuana
Features ofthe Essay
What Is a Thesis Statement?
The Introductory Paragraph
Using Transitions to Move from One Idea to the Next
The Concluding Paragraph
Titles
Sample Outline Format
Working Together: Education Endangered?

Chapter21 Style
Beyond Sentence Skills
What Is Style?
Word Economy (Absence of Wordiness)
Clarity versus Big Words and Long Sentences
Formal Language
Active versus Passive Voice
Word Order
Sentence Variety
Breaking the Rules
Breaking Up the Text
Repetition of Words
Audience and Tone
Purpose
Consistency
Choice of Punctuation
Avoidance of Abstract Terms
Avoidance ofJargon
Working Together: Changing the Style of Peer Writing

NEL
Contents Xiii
 Chapter 22 Revising and Editing 249
The Final Stage 249
Proofreading 250
The Right Conditions for the Tasks 250
A Sample Student Essay in Its Fourth Stage 7359
Day Care 253
Preparing the Final Copy 24
A Student Essay in Progress: The Revised Version 254
Working Together: Revising and Editing Activity 256

Chapter 23. The Research Paper 257

The Research Paper 25/7
Standard Essay Structure 2a/
The Literary Research Essay ; 258
The General Topic Research Essay 259
Internet versus Library Research 259
Analyzing the Legitimacy of Online Sources 261
Using Quotations 263
Working Together: Finding Appropriate Sources 263

Chapter 24 Documentation 264

Documentation 264
Two Mandatory Parts of Documentation: Internal and End 265
American Psychological Association (APA) 266
Modern Language Association (MLA) 269
Sample Research Paper 273
Working Together: Documenting Sources 280

Unit IV: Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay

Chapter 25 Argumentation 282
What Is Argumentation? 282
Argumentation versus Persuasion 283
Persuasive Appeals That Are Not Logical 283
Other Strategies for Argumentation 283
Caiaimacey Meme What Is Critical Thinking? 284
Olek/Getty Images ore Tools and Components of Argumentation 284
Underlying Assumptions 285
Analyzing the Intention of Argument: The Importance ofVirtue 286
We Become What We Communicate 286
Argumentative Techniques 286
Common Fallacies 287
Writing the Paragraph of Argumentation 289
Model Paragraph: Clues of an Unhappy Ending 290
Developing Essays: Argumentation 290

XIV Contents <a

 Model Essay: Ophelia’s Terror
Working Together: Identifying Good and Bad Arguments

Chapter 26 Cause and Effect

What Is Cause and Effect?
Two Types of Cause and Effect Paragraphs or Essays
Developing Paragraphs: Cause and Effect
Model Paragraph: Recipe for Disaster
Writing the Cause or Effect Paragraph Step by Step
On Your Own: Writing Cause and Effect Paragraphs from Model Paragraphs
Model Paragraph: Titanic Blunders
Developing the Cause and Effect Essay
Model Essay: Whose Choice Is It, Anyway?
Working Together: Identifying Causes or Effects

Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast

What Are Comparison and Contrast?
Developing Paragraphs: Comparison and/or Contrast
Two Methods: Point-by-Point and Block
Model Paragraph:
The Freedom of Freelancing (I)
Model Paragraph: The Freedom of Freelancing (Il)
Tips on Transitions: Like versus As
Writing the Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph Step by Step
The Comparison and/or Contrast Essay
Model Essay: City Life Beats the Small Town Blues
Working Together: Reaching Consensus

Chapter 28 Process
What Is Process?
Developing Paragraphs: Process
Model Paragraph: Planning Your Presentation
Model Paragraph: Years in the Making
Coherence in Process: Order in Logical Sequence
Writing the Process Paragraph Step by Step
On Your Own: Writing Process Paragraphs from Model Paragraphs
Model Paragraph: Road to Restfulness
Model Paragraph: Waspy Ways
Writing the Process Essay
Model Essay: Replacing a Tire
Working Together: Campus Woes

Chapter 29 Description
What Is Description?
Developing Paragraphs: Description

NEL
Contents XV
 Model Paragraph: Delicatessen Decor 328
Working with Description: Selecting the Dominant Impression 328
Model Paragraph: A Day in the Life. . . (I) 330
Model Paragraph: A Day in the Life... (II) 330
Working with Description: Sensory Images 33]
Coherence in Description: Putting Details in Spatial Order Doe
Writing the Descriptive Paragraph Step by Step 333
On Your Own: Writing Descriptive Paragraphs from Model Paragraphs 333
Model Paragraph: Mother Fortress 334
Writing the Descriptive Essay 334
Model Essay: A Monumental Experience 335
Working Together: The Hunt for a Roommate 338

Chapter 30 Definition 339

What Is Definition? Be)
Developing Paragraphs: Definition 34]
Model Paragraph: The Meaning of Myth 341
Writing the Definition Paragraph Step by Step 342
Developing an Essay of Definition 343
Model Essay: Love Hurts 344
Working Together: What Does the Cover Mean to You? 348

Chapter 31 Classification 349

What Is Classification? 349
Developing Paragraphs: Classification 350
Model Paragraph: Nice and Neighbourly? 350
Making Distinct Categories Bon
Writing the Classification Paragraph Step by Step 352
Developing an Essay of Classification 353
Model Essay: The Evolution of Spirituality 354
Working Together: Brainstorming for Classification 307

Chapter 32 Narration 358

What Is Narration? 358
Developing Paragraphs: Narration 358
Model Paragraph: Prison-on-Wheels 358
Working with Narration: Using Narration to Make a Point 359
Coherence in Narration: Placing Details in Order of Time Sequence 360
Model Paragraph: A Day to Forget 360
Writing the Narrative Paragraph Step by Step 36]
On Your Own: Writing Narrative Paragraphs from Model Paragraphs 364
Model Paragraph: Better Early Than Late 364
Writing the Narrative Essay 364

Xvi C ontent
NEL
 Model Essay I: Whispers of the Dead 365
Model Essay II: Transparent Silhouette 366
Working Together: Spontaneous Creativity or Combustion? 369

Unit V: Major Readings

AGrain of Gold John Artibello 372

Banning Junk Food — Leah McLaren BS

How to Get Happily Married Julia McKinnell 378

om ee aa A Matter of Postal Codes Ken MacQueen 38]

Inthe Library Gary Lipschutz 385

Excuses, Excuses Adrian Lee 388

I Lost MyTalk Rita Joe 391

A Tough Approach That Might Work James C. Morton 393

Grammar and Your Salary Peter Harris 397

Beyond Cannabis Akwasi Owusu-Bempah 400

The Economic Cost of Depression Gary Lamphier 404

The Other Family Himani Bannerji 407

Cyber Misogyny Brett Throop 412

Not Just Hollywood — Leah McLaren 415

What's Missing? Gary Lipschutz 418

FacetoFace Brian Bethune 423

Monster Chelsea Vowel 427

UNIT VI: Appendices

Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 432
Appendix 8 Answer Key to Practices 453

Online Appendices
Go to nelson.com/student and see the Student Companion site for
The Canadian Writer's Workplace, Ninth Edition.
. Ones Appendix C Solving Spelling Problems
Hero Images/Getty Images Appen 1ix D Irregular Verbs

A67
Glossary

Index 470

NEE Contents xvii

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 Preface
It’s been said that the first casualty of war is truth. Well, the first casualty of writing
is often clarity. Writing without clarity is bad writing. The Canadian Writer’s
Workplace, Ninth Edition, is an easy-to-use textbook that aims to inspire and guide
students on the road to achieving clarity in their writing. With this book, students are
expected to develop the solid paragraph- and essay-writing skills needed not only in
English courses, but also in many other courses taken in college and/or university
and, subsequently, wherever written communication is required. The Canadian
Writer’s Workplace can help students get the most out of any endeavour that calls for
the ability to write clearly and effectively.

EVERYTHING YOU NEED BETWEEN TWO COVERS

The Canadian Writer’s Workplace is a three-in-one textbook of sentence skills,
rhetoric (writing steps and strategies), and readings. When you use this book,
there is no need to look for a supplemental book containing work on grammar or a
book to teach writing skills or a reader providing material that inspires students to
generate thoughtful and well-written composition. Everything you need is already
between two covers.

STRUCTURE OF THE TEXTBOOK

The Canadian Writer’s Workplace is made up of six units:
Unit I: Sentence Skills
Unit II: The Reading-Writing Connection
Unit III: The Writing Process
Unit IV: Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay
Unit V: Major Readings
Unit VI: Appendices

EIGHT TYPES OF EXERCISES, QUESTIONS,

AND ASSIGNMENTS
With examples and figures, The Canadian Writer’s Workplace offers constant
reinforcement of every definition stated and every writing technique taught at every
step of the way. Numerous practice exercises and writing assignments throughout
the entire book offer further reinforcement of what is being learned. The format of
The Canadian Writer’s Workplace features flexibility in that the book enables an
instructor to work on different exercises with an entire class, gives individual students
opportunities to work by themselves or with a tutor in a lab, and encourages students
to work in groups. Certain sections can be skipped if the material is not needed for a
particular class—or a class might begin with a later section, with the earlier chapters

xix
NEL
 being used as a review. Eight types of exercises, questions, and assignments in this
textbook are as follows:

1. Quick Quizzes
Each chapter in Unit I begins with a Quick Quiz, designed to assess students’ skills
in the material in that chapter. Based on the results of this quiz, the instructor can
choose either to skip over the material in the chapter, or to spend extra time on the
material in question if the students’ skills in this area are shown to be weak.

2. Practices
The answers for these are provided in the Answer Key at the back of the textbook.
Practices enable students, therefore, to work independently by checking their work
without having to consult an instructor.

3. Exercises
Answers to the Exercises are not at the back of the textbook. The main reason for the
deliberate absence of these answers is so that instructors can assign these exercises
for in-class testing or homework. Answers to the Exercises are provided, however,
in the Instructor’s Manual that accompanies the ninth edition of The Canadian
Writer’s Workplace.

4. Review Practices and Exercises

These are often found at the end of each chapter in Unit I. They are cumulative
so that they test the students not only on a particular point of grammar, but
also on a number of points discussed within the chapter at hand. Similar to the
Practices and Exercises earlier in the chapter, the Practices in the Review section
have their answers in the back of the book, while the Exercises in the Review
section do not.

5. Working Together
A valuable and popular feature, Working Together can be found at the end of every
chapter in the book. This feature promotes group work, an approach that provides
opportunities for the peer-mediated activities that many instructors use to make their
classes more fun and at the same time to reinforce concepts from a chapter they have
already discussed in their classes.

6. Questions for Analysis

Several questions for analysis follow every model essay found in Unit IV: Writing
Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay. They prompt the student for short answers
on either content or form. Sample questions include “Is the author’s argument
effective? Why or why not?”

7. Assignments
Throughout Unit IV, the reader will find chapters on the various rhetorical modes, or
writing strategies, such as description, comparison and/or contrast, and process. For
each chapter, there are assignments listing several topics relating to the chapter from
which the student can choose to write a paragraph or essay on something the student
finds of interest to him or her.

XX Preface NEL
 8. Four Types of Questions Following Major Readings in Unit V
Every major reading in Unit V is followed by four sets of questions. The four sets
are (1) Comprehension Questions, (2) Questions about Form, (3) Questions for
Discussion, and (4) Writing Ideas. Often students ask professors if they can do
practice writing in preparation for major writing assignments done in class. The
questions in the fourth category in particular can be used for this purpose, and
sometimes so can questions from the third. Regardless, all of these questions are
designed to foster further understanding and appreciation for the reading they follow
and the issues, in general, under discussion.

THE READINGS
Students often require inspiration to help motivate them to learn how to write
better. In the interest of further inspiration and stimulation, the readings in this
edition have been expanded to include more cutting-edge essays with particular
appeal to postsecondary students. Overall, the readings throughout the text are
extremely varied: they include a sample research paper in Chapter 24, model
paragraphs and essays in Unit IV, and five new major readings in Unit V. Some of
the works in Unit IV are by student writers; others are taken from a wide range of
novels, essays, short stories, and books of nonfiction by world-famous authors.
Unit V contains mostly nonfiction and some short fiction and poetry—all carefully
chosen to evoke thoughtful and well-structured written responses from students.
The writers of the major readings in Unit V are exclusively Canadian, and they are all
seasoned writers and/or academics. The strong Canadian flavour of the text offers the
postsecondary student in Canada an insight into various aspects of Canadian culture.

NEW FEATURES OF THE NINTH EDITION

Many features of the first eight Canadian editions of the book have been retained.
As mentioned earlier, they include the comprehensive package of sentence skills,
rhetoric, and readings. This ninth edition, however, offers some exciting and
innovative changes:

e Five new pieces appear in Unit V, which houses the book’s major readings. The
new readings have been chosen with the intent to engage the reader. Among the
new readings is Leah McLaren’s piece “Not Just Hollywood,” which takes a look
at how widespread and ongoing the problem of sexual harassment of women is in
the Canadian workplace. Another new reading in this unit is one by Indigenous
writer and educator Chelsea Vowel. In her piece entitled “Monster” taken from
her book Indigenous Writes: A Guide to First Nations, Metis and Inuit Issues
in Canada, Vowel discusses the issue of residential schools from the perspective
of someone who was not a victim yet who has been deeply affected. And what
would be a proper Canadian textbook these days without a piece that deals with
marijtiana? When the recreational use of marijuana (aka cannabis) became legal
on October 17, 2018, Canadians were rife with opinion. University of Toronto

Preface Xxi
NEL
 professor Akwasi Bempah-Owusu presents his own that is almost certain to be
controversial in a piece called “Beyond Cannabis.”
e Exciting new readings to the ninth edition of the textbook (in addition to those of
Unit V) include a sample research paper by Marisa T. Cohen called “Social Media
and Relationships: A Few Important Rules.” This piece explores the connection
between the quality of our relationships and the use of social media, while
providing some excellent advice on how to maintain an online presence while
protecting ourselves and our relationships. An argumentative essay by former
Humber College student Stephanie Rosloski, who is currently a story editor for
Entertainment One in B.C., is entitled “Ophelia’s Terror.” Few people discuss
the importance of the minor character of Ophelia in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Yet
Rosloski’s essay in Chapter 26 sheds light on a problem between the sexes that
existed 400 years ago that some might argue has not changed much, if at all, today.
e Abrand new feature of The Canadian Writer’s Workplace is a glossary defining
grammatical and rhetorical terms used throughout the textbook. Located toward
the end of the book for easy reference, the Glossary includes the definitions of
terms found throughout the chapters and more.
e Other chapters that have been enhanced include Chapter 23: “The Research
Paper,” which now addresses the term “fake news” and how to identify the
problem. The same chapter also looks at a recent example of plagiarism in the
workplace that led to dire consequences. And Chapter 20: “The Essay” now
includes a sample preliminary essay that is documented in APA format and that
includes a three-point thesis statement.

ANCILLARIES
instructor Resources

The Nelson Education Teaching Advantage (NETA) program delivers

research-based instructor resources that promote student engagement and higher-
NELSON EDUCATION TEACHING ADVANTAGE

order thinking to enable the success of Canadian students and educators. Visit Nelson
Education’s Inspired Instruction website at nelson.com/inspired/ to find out
more about NETA.
The following instructor resources have been created for The Canadian Writer’s
Workplace, Ninth Edition. Access these ultimate tools for customizing lectures and
presentations at nelson.com/instructor.

NETA Test Bank

The Test Bank for The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, Ninth Edition, contains an
extensive selection of exercises corresponding to every point of grammar discussed in
Unit I and Appendices A, C, and D.

Enriched Instructor’s Manual

This resource was written by Frances Sparano, Humber College. It is organized
according to the textbook chapters and contains chapter overviews, learning

XXii Preface NEL

 outcomes, suggested classroom activities, and answers to exercises contained in the
core text.

NETA PowerPoint
Microsoft® PowerPoint® lecture slides for every chapter have been created by
Alexander Hurezeanu, Georgian College. There is an average of 20 slides per
chapter, many featuring key figures, tables, and photographs from The Canadian
Writer’s Workplace. NETA principles of clear design and engaging content have
been incorporated throughout, making it simple for instructors to customize the
deck for their courses.

Image Library
This resource consists of digital copies of figures, short tables, and photographs used
in the book. Instructors may use these jpegs to customize the NETA PowerPoint or
create their own PowerPoint presentations.

MindTap
*is » CENGAGE MINDTAP MindTap is the digital platform that propels students from memorization to
mastery, helping you challenge them, build their confidence, and empower them
to be unstoppable. Aplia is an application in the MindTap platform that generates
homework assignments and assessments. Using Aplia in MindTap significantly
improves outcomes and elevates thinking by increasing student effort and engagement.
Developed by teachers, Aplia assignments connect concepts to the real world and
focus on the unique course challenges faced by students. The Aplia to accompany The
Canadian Writer’s Workplace was adapted by Amanda Baker, Humber College.

STUDENT ANCILLARIES
MindTap
Stay organized and efficient with MindTap—a single destination with all the course
material and study aids you need to succeed. Built-in apps leverage social media and
the latest learning technology. For example:

e ReadSpeaker will read the text to you.

e You can highlight text and make notes in your MindTap Reader. Your notes will
flow into Evernote, the electronic notebook app that you can access anywhere
when it’s time to study for the exam.
e Self-quizzing allows you to assess your understanding.
e Aplia offers a way for you to stay on top of your coursework with regularly
scheduled homework assignments that increase your time on task and give
you prompt feedback. Visit nelson.com/student to start using MindTap.
Enter the Online Access Code from the card included with your text. If a code
card is not provided, you can purchase instant access at NELSONbrain.com.

NEL
Preface XXxiii
 Online Appendices
Students can access the two online Appendices, “Solving Spelling Problems” and
“Irregular Verbs,” on the Student Companion site for The Canadian Writer's
Workplace, Ninth Edition. Please visit nelson.com/student.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
For their advice and/or personal support, the author is indebted to John Artibello,
Tamina Basarab, Maxine Beale, Shawn Brake, Denvil Buchanan, Sarah Duffy, Dan
Gaze, Andrea Jacobs, Ben Labovitch, Lillian Mak, Karen Naidoo, Sofia Phillips,
Debra Robinson, Jane Sakay, Sonia Senior-Martin, Martha Shephard, George
Thomas, and Susan Whitzman.
Kudos and thanks go to the winning team at Nelson—Lenore Taylor-Atkins,
Jacquelyn Busby, and Jennifer Hare—and freelance editor Dawn Hunter. Their hard
work and dedication have helped make this edition what it is.
The comments and advice from the following reviewers were invaluable:

Dale Jacobs, University of Windsor

Shannon MacRae, Niagara College
Barbara MacDonald Buetter, Niagara College
Marissa Reaume, University of Windsor
Clayton Rhodes, Durham College
Lyndsay Wilson, George Brown College

To the student essayists who have generously given permission to publish their
work in this edition of The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, the author and editors
wish to extend most sincere thanks. They are Margo Fine, Zack Goodman, Donald
Pianissimo, Stephanie Rosloski, Akis Stylianou, Cara Watters, and Jenny Yuen.

Your Feedback and Questions Are Invited

If you have any feedback or questions you would like to send regarding this edition of
The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, please do so via the following email address:
[email protected].
I welcome your comments. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy reading and using
the ninth edition as much as I’ve enjoyed preparing it.
Respectfully,
Gary Lipschutz

XXIV Preface
 Parts of Speech:
Overview
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects
and Verbs
Chapter 3. Solving Verb Problems
Chapter4 Subject-Verb Agreement
-Chapter5 Coordination
and
Megs - Subordination
Chapter6 Correcting Fragments
|. Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons
* Chapter8 Parallel Structure
_-Chapter9 Pronouns
Chapter 10 Modifiers: Misplaced
and Dangling
mat Chapter11. Punctuation © :
-Chapter12 Capitalization —
ges/Gett ‘Chapter13 Unit |Review: Using
___AllYou Have Learned —
Ima
ero
 Parts of Speech:
Overview

The Canadian Writer’s Workplace begins with an overview of sentence skills to

ensure that you have an understanding of basic terms. Such an understanding will
help you succeed with the rest of this text.
Words can be divided into nine categories called parts of speech. Understanding
these categories will help you work with language, especially when it comes to revising
your own writing.

Quiz Test your knowledge ofthe various parts of speech. Determine the correct part
of speech for the underlined words in the following sentences. You don't need to
actually write the answers in the blanks; this Quick Quiz is primarily for self-assessment.
The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

1. By installing the service, you agree to the following conditions.

2. Follow the instructions on the screen to install the latest version of the program.
aAI~elpe ‘qUaA ‘UNOU ‘UO!}DUN{UOD *
aAlalpe ‘uo!}Isodaid 3. Running the program is easily handled if you pay attention to the next part of
‘(QUaA e + 0}) BAIUYU! ‘UNOUOId °
aandelpe ‘unouold ‘qianpe ‘(UNOU the video.
ese Buljde piom bul-) punsab *
unou ‘uol}sodaid
‘aniydalpe ‘uoipsodaud ‘quan XG
4, Everything you need to do is explained in ten easy steps.
9jaie ‘quan ‘unou aL
SSJBMSUY 5. Ifyou have any questions, call our toll-free number.

Parts of Speech
1. Nouns 4. Verbs 7. Conjunctions
2. Pronouns 5. Adverbs 8. Interjections
3. Adjectives 6. Prepositions 9. Articles

NEL
 1. What Are Nouns?

A noun is a word that refers to a person, place, or thing.

Example:
The studentisdoing her homework.
(Both student and homework are nouns.)

Types of Nouns
There are two types of nouns: common nouns and proper nouns.

Types of Nouns - +--+ +--+ +2+2se-+e-

* Common Nouns Proper Nouns
- officer Michael Johnson
Station Union Station
* magazine Canadian Geographic*
~ university Centennial College

: *When a title is that ofa major publication, such as a book or a magazine, the title should
be italicized or underlined (underlining in a handwritten text is the equivalent ofitalics in a
* printed text).

Common nouns are nouns that are not names or titles. For this reason, common
nouns do not begin with a capital letter (unless, of course, the word begins a
sentence):

I plan to attend university next fall.

The word university is a common noun in this sentence because it is not part of a
specific name or title. The u should not be capitalized.
Proper nouns are names or titles. Every significant word of a proper noun must
start with a capital letter.

Carleton University is in Ottawa, our nation’s capital. University

The
of Cape Breton, on the other hand, is inSydney, Nova Scotia.
In the above two sentences, the Uin University (the word immediately following
Carleton and the second word in the second sentence) must be capitalized because
the word University in both cases is now a proper noun; it is part of the title of a
specific university. (See Chapter 12, “Capitalization.”) The University of Cape Breton
includes the word of, whose first letter is not capitalized because of is a preposition
(see Section 6, “What Are Prepositions?”) and a preposition is not considered a
significant word in a title.

NEL
Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview 3
 Concrete versus Abstract Nouns

Nouns are said to be concrete if they represent things you can see or touch.

window river
paper finger

Nouns are said to be abstract if they represent things you cannot see or touch.
These words can be concepts, ideas, or qualities.

meditation carelessness
honesty fearlessness

To test for a noun, it may help to ask these questions:

e Can I put the article the in front of the word?

- Isthe word used as the subject or object of the sentence?

A noun may be the subject of the sentence it is in (the performer of the action). But
it may not be. All subjects are nouns, but not all nouns are subjects. For example, a
noun might be an object (the receiver of the action) instead.

ssa gave a book to her daughter.

The noun Marissa is the subject of the sentence. The noun book is a direct object (it
receives the action directly). The noun daughter is an indirect object (it receives the
action indirectly).

Countable versus Non-countable Nouns

Countable nouns, quite simply, can be counted.

There are three marbles on the floor.

Non-countable nouns, just as simply, cannot be counted.

T spilled onto the floor.

Do not put an indefinite article (a or an) in front of a non-countable noun. For

example, the following is not correct: A water spilled onto the floor.

2. What Are Pronouns?

DEFINITION |
A pronoun is a word that takes the place of a noun. Like a noun, it can be the subject or the
object of asentence. Pronouns come in several cases.
Example: He is dating the girl next door.
(The pronoun he can replace a noun such as Johnny or the boy)

Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 PKONOUN Gasesie arsieneey eked oregoretar ele roberwiinete lereupecelepals- 0 ew 8 ee eG 0 eee ee eee @
i
. Depending on how it is used in a sentence, a personal pronoun will be in one ofthree cases:
« subjective, objective, or possessive. Possessive adjectives (last column) are not pronouns
» because they do not replace nouns; they modify them instead.
>oeoe
eo
eee
ee
: Personal Pronouns Possessive
Subjective Objective Possessive Adjectives
Singular
; Ist person | me mine my
-2nd person you you yours your
: he him his his
-3rd person she her hers her :
; they them theirs their ‘
it it its its
* Plural ;
Ist person we us ours our
; 2nd person you you yours your :
:3rd person they them theirs their :

Relative Pronouns Demonstrative Pronouns Indefinite Pronouns

who, whom, whose this all, both, each, one
*which that nothing, nobody, no one
-that these anything, anybody, anyone
‘what those something, somebody,
‘ someone
whoever, whichever everything, everybody,
everyone

3. What Are Adjectives?

DEFINITION
An adjective is a word that modifies a noun or pronoun.
Example: The red car is hers.

An adjective usually comes before the noun it modifies, but it can also come after
a verb.

4. What Are Verbs?

DEFINITION
A verb is a word that indicates an action, state, or occurrence; its form also indicates the time at
which the action, and so on, takes place.
Example: The Montreal Canadiens advanced to the second round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs in 2015.

NEL
Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview 5
 Verbs can be divided into three classes: action verbs, linking verbs, and helping
verbs.

Action Verbs
An action verb tells us what its subject is doing. Most verbs are action verbs.

The athlete eyeles 20 kilometres every morning.

(The action takes place in the present.)

The crowd applauded the sax player.

(The action took place in the past.)

Linking Verbs
A linking verb joins the subject of a sentence to one or more words that describe or
identify the subject.

She is a jazz musician in her twenties.

He seemed excited about getting married.

Common Linking Verbs

act become look
appear fee| seem
be (am, is, are, was, were, have been) grow taste

Helping Verbs (also called Auxiliary Verbs)

A helping verb, or an auxiliary, is any verb used before the main verb.
It can show the tense of the verb:

It will rain tomorrow.

(shows future tense)

It can show the passive voice (see Chs. 3 and 21 for more on active and passive
voice):

The new concert hall has been finished.

It can give a special meaning to the verb:

Alessia Cara may be singing at that concert.

The most common auxiliary verbs are forms of the irregular verbs do, have i)

and be.
A modal auxiliary is a helping verb that comes before the main verb and
expresses probability, obligation, ability, or necessity.

Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Common Modal Auxiliary Verbs: «+--+ 2-52 ceseccccc recess cccccsseevene
>can, could ;
may, might, must
* shall, should
- will, would
ee o@ TY ee ee 66S At GO MRe Cee eon enaeenonere eeeesvoevoaeaesoe2eeneae

See Appendix D, “Irregular Verbs,” online at nelson.com/student (see Student

Companion site for The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, Ninth Edition) for more on
irregular verbs.

3 What Are Adverbs?

DEFINITION |
An adverb is a word that modifies a verb, an adjective, or another adverb. It often ends in -ly,
but not always. A better test is to ask yourself if the word answers the question of how, when,
or where.
Example: The children ran quickly.

She is sure to succeed eventually

The adverb eventually answers the question “When?”

It ends in -ly, and it modifies the verb succeed.

ery cold tomorrow.

The adverb very answers the question “How?”

It modifies the adjective cold.

Winter has come too early.

The adverb too answers the question “How?”
It modifies the adverb early.

Here are some of the more common adverbs:

Common Adverbs -
* Adverbs of Frequency Adverbs of Degree
always even quite
ever extremely surely
~ never just too
- often more very
seldom much
* sometimes only

NEL Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview 7

 6. What Are Prepositions?

A preposition is a (usually short) word that indicates time, place, or means. It is used to relate a
noun or pronoun to some other word in the sentence. The combination of the preposition and its
noun or pronoun (the object of the preposition) is called a prepositional phrase.
Examples: The gift is from my mother.
The card is addressed to my aunt.

Common Prepositions **°*********°

about below in since
* above beneath inside through
» ACIOSS beside into to
- after between like toward
against beyond near 7 under
along by of until
/ among down off up
» around during on upon
at except outside with
‘ before for over within
- behind from past without

7. What Are Conjunctions?

DEFINITION
A conjunction is a word that joins or connects other words, phrases, or clauses.
Examples: |was sick, but| still came to work.
She had eggs and pancakes for breakfast.

Connecting two words

Sooner or later, you will have to pay.

Connecting two phrases

The story was on Facebook and Twitter.

Connecting two clauses

Dinner was late e I had to work overtime at the office.

Since one word can have several meanings, and words can function differently depending on their
forms, you must study the context in which a word is found to be sure what part of speech it is.

The parent makes sacrifices for the good of the children.

In the sentence above, for is a preposition.

The parent made sacrifices, for the child needed a good education.

In the sentence above, for is a conjunction meaning “because.”

Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Conjunctions ce oeeceene ee evoer ee eases eovseeeseeoesasseex2eeseeeeeeeseseeens

*Coordinating Subordinating .
Conjunctions Conjunctions
-and after provided that ;
> but although since (meaning ‘
nor as, as if, as though “because”)
-OF because unless
*for (meaning “because’) before until ;
“yet how when, whenever :
Xe) if,even if where, wherever,
: whereas ;
E while :
:Correlative | :
*Conjunctions Adverbial Conjunctions (also known as “conjunctive adverbs”)
-either ... or To add an idea: furthermore :
neither... nor moreover
-both...and likewise :
“not only... but also To contrast: however
eee
nevertheless
To show a result: consequently
i

therefore
6e222
@2

TIP
You can use the acronym FANBOYS to remember the coordinating conjunctions: F for for, A for and,
N for nor, B for but, O for or, Y for yet, and Sfor so.
For
And

8. What Are Interjections?

DEFINITION
An interjection is a word that expresses a feeling (often a strong one) and is not connected
grammatically to any other part of the sentence.
Example: Darn! |lost my wallet. Well, that means I'll have to borrow cash from a friend.

9. What Are Articles?

An article is a word that identifies a noun in a general sense.

Example: The dogs were mistreated for years by a previous owner.

NEL
Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview Xe)
 Articles are considered to be adjectives. There are two types of articles: definite (the)
and indefinite (a, an).

She read the magazine (a particular magazine).

She read a magazine (some magazine not identified).

Do not use a or an with non-countable nouns (things that can’t be counted

separately, such as water).

Water leaked under my roof during the rainstorm.

Use an indefinite article (a or an) before countable nouns when you don’t specify the
particular thing referred to.

open window allowed the fresh air in (any one of a number of windows).

Use a before a noun that begins with a consonant or with au pronounced as y.

Use an before a word that begins with a vowel or a silent h.

a vacation
a unit, aeulogy (wu and eu in these words are pronounced yu)
automobile
hour

Working Together: Puzzle Pieces and Sentence Parts

Review the names for sentence parts by doing this crossword puzzle. Feel free to look
back through the chapter for the answers.

Grammatical Terms Crossword Puzzie

10 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Across Down
1. Verbs like hop, sing, and play are called {le Joy, confidence, and peace are examples of
verbs. this kind of noun, which is the opposite ofa
4. A helping verb concrete noun.

6. Every sentence has a and a verb. N . Which word is the subject in the following
sentence?
8. Ahelping verb
Here is the tube of glue for Toby.
9. Which ofthe following is a preposition?
ies) . An indefinite pronoun
must, upon, they
A plural pronoun
12. A preposition
n . Look, appear, feel, and seem are examples
14. Word, witch, wall, and willow are examples of
of verbs.
this part of £ speech.
= Which word is the object of the preposition in
5. Most nouns are nouns. They are
this sentence?
not capitalized.
He made sure to call her before ten.
18. In the following sentence, which word is an
adjective? 10. The opposite of acommon noun

His pet theory was disproved. 11. A pronoun

21. A preposition 13. A preposition

22. In the following sentence, which word is an 16. A helping verb

abstract noun? 17. Which ofthe following is a proper noun?
The era was not economically successful. king, Nero, hero, teen
23. A preposition 19. Which of the following is an adjective?
24. A word that can take the place of anoun net, tan, Nan, man

20. Which word is the verb in the following

sentence?
Run down to the car for our bag.

21. Acommon linking verb

NEL
Chapter 1 Parts of Speech: Overview 11
 Recognizing
Subjects and
Verbs

Quiz Test yourselfon your knowledge of subjects and verbs. In each ofthe following
sentences, find the subject of the sentence and the verb that goes with it. Write your
answers in the spaces provided.
The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

Subject Verb

1. Marriage has changed

over the years.

2. Studies show that many

people are getting
married later than their
parents did.

3. In Quebec, a large
proportion of people
have chosen to live
in common-law
relationships.

4, Researchers have
given more attention
to divorces than to
sioaddo ‘qian successful marriages.
apnyino yDalqns *¢
UaAlb aby :q1a/\
sJayrivasal :alqns “p 5. A positive attitude
UaSOY) aAKY :quap
uoljsodoid :ya{qns ‘¢ toward the partner
MOYS :qua/ ”
eee appears to be the most
eEUD2 OY 0h
pabuoy) spy :quap
important quality
| in a
:SJaMsUy successful marriage.

12 NEL
 Why Should We Use Complete Sentences
When We Write?
If you walk up to a friend at noon and say “Lunch?” you are expressing only part of
a complete thought. Your friend probably understands your meaning: “Would you
like to join me for lunch?” Even though we do not always use complete sentences
in daily conversation, we usually have complete thoughts in mind. We say and hear
words and phrases such as “Lunch?” every day, and these words and phrases seem to
be complete thoughts because both the speaker and the listener supply the missing
words in their own minds.
You are free to use language in this way when you speak casually with friends,
but you must use a different approach in more formal speaking and writing. When
writing down your thoughts, you cannot assume that another person will finish your
thoughts for you. Each of your written thoughts must be a complete expression of
what is in your mind.
The purpose of writing is to communicate something that is of value to a reader.
Once you understand how the parts of a complete sentence work, you will be able to
focus as much attention on what you are saying as on how you are saying it. You can
take control of the sentence. You will have the power to make words work for you.

What Is a Complete Sentence?

DEFINITION
A complete sentence must contain a subject and a verb, as well as express a complete thought.
Example: The cat drank.
(Cat is the subject; drank is the verb. You need not know what the cat drank for the
sentence to be complete.)

A complete thought is difficult to describe. It may be best understood by means of an

example:

1. If you want an “A” in this course.

2. If you want an “A” in this course, you should do all your assignments and
homework, attend all your classes, and communicate to your professor any
difficulties you’re having.
3. You want an “A” in this course.

The first thought is incomplete. The second thought is complete. So is the third.
Obviously, length does not determine completeness.

How Do You Find the Subject of a Sentence?

The subject of a sentence is the person or thing about which the rest of the sentence
makes an assertion. Any sentence must be about someone or something; therefore,
every sentence must have a subject. To find the subject of any sentence, ask yourself
this question: Who or what is the sentence about? When you have answered this

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 13
 question, you have found the subject of the sentence. Try to zero in on one word that
is the subject—sometimes this is not possible, but it is possible most of the time. The
subject in sentence #3 is you. The words A and course are also nouns, but neither is
the subject of the sentence.

Recognizing Subjects

Examine each ofthe following sentences and ask yourself who or what it is about.
(Choose only one word where possible.) Underline the subject. Answers and
explanations are provided below.

. The student graduated in the spring.

. The unemployed Rick Daniels spent the summer looking for work.
. He took a job as a security guard.
. The building was near the waterfront.
. The warehouse grew bitterly cold.
. Cowardice was not the issue.
= . Tina and Margot listened to his complaints whenever they got together.
NM)
Go
PS
Gah
Son

Since the subject of a sentence is made up of one or more nouns (or a word,
phrase, or clause that functions as a noun), it is helpful to learn some of the terms
used in traditional grammar to describe different kinds of nouns.

1. The student graduated in the spring.

The sentence is about the student. In this case, the subject is a common noun.

DEFINITION
Nouns refer to people, places, and things. Most nouns are common nouns.
Common nouns are the general terms for all the people, places, and objects around us. They are
not specific names; therefore, they are not capitalized.
Examples: woman, city, cola

2. The unemployed Rick Daniels spent the summer looking for work.

The sentence is about Rick Daniels. In this case, the subject Rick Daniels is made up
of the two words in his name, both of which are proper nouns.

DEFINITION
Proper nouns name particular persons, places, or things. Proper nouns are always capitalized.
Examples: Juanita, Calgary, Pepsi

Notice that words such as unemployed can be put in front of nouns to

describe them further. These words are called adjectives. The, a, and an are
called articles. An article is also a type of adjective because it modifies a noun
(Example: the cat).

14 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 3. He took a job as a security guard.

The sentence is about he.

Words that can be used in place of nouns are called pronouns.

Examples: she, he, it, we, |,you, and they

4. The building was near the waterfront.

The sentence is about the building, a common noun. Can you replace this noun first
with a proper noun and then with a pronoun?

was near the waterfront.

was near the waterfront.

5. The warehouse grew bitterly cold.

The sentence is about the warehouse. Here the common noun is not a person or a
place but a thing. What pronoun could take the place of warehouse?

grew bitterly cold.

6. Cowardice was not the issue.

The sentence is about cowardice, another common noun.

7. Tina and Margot listened to his complaints whenever they got together.

The sentence is about Tina and Margot. The subject is made up of two proper nouns
joined by and. This sentence provides an example of a compound subject.

DEFINITION
A compound subject is made up of two or more nouns joined together by and, or, either/or, or
neither/nor.
Example: Neither the teacher nor the students know the answer.

Not every noun or pronoun functions as a subject. Nouns and pronouns can also
function as objects. Can you find a noun in the following sentence that is not the
subject of the sentence?

Marc bought a ticket.

The word ticket is a noun but not a subject. It does not perform the action of the verb,
bought—it receives the action. It is an object. (The subject, Marc, does the action.)

Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 15

 Guide to Finding the Subject of aSentence .....-.- co eeeee coe eeees cece es.
6 6

The subject of a sentence is who or what the sentence is about.

* Definition:
or“Who or what is
How to find the subject: Ask yourself,“Who or what is this sentence about?”
: doing the main action?”

e Subjects usually come early in the sentence.

¢ Subjects can be modified by adjectives.
¢ Subjects can be compound.

. Look for these two kinds of words as your subjects:

- 1. Nouns: the names of persons, places, or things

Common or Proper Concrete or Abstract

= aunt Aunt Giselle face loneliness
country Ghana people patriotism
- watch Timex jewellery time

2. Pronouns: words that take the place of nouns

Personal Indefinite Relative Demonstrative

| one who this
you each that that
he, she, it some, someone, what these
somebody, something
we any, anyone, anybody, which those
anything
they nobody, nothing
everyone, everybody,
everything
all
many
several

Finding the Subject of a Sentence

Underline the subject in each ofthe following sentences. An example has been done
for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

Ice cream is delicious.

The car had a red stripe on it.

Carly Page decided to apply for the job posting.
The young girl liked to read a lot.
. Strange sounds filled her ears.
. Amother and her three children shared a lunch.
. The battered red taxi idled outside.
UT
OV
SI
= . Alight rain had fallen recently.
ABUTS

16 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Finding the Subject in Sentences
with Prepositional Phrases
The sentences you worked with in Practice 1 are short and basic. If we wrote only
such sentences, our writing would sound choppy. Complex ideas would be difficult to
express. One way to expand a simple sentence is to add a prepositional phrase.

He put his suitcase on the seat.

On is a preposition. Seat is a noun, used here as the object of the preposition. On the
seat is a prepositional phrase.

DEFINITION
A prepositional phrase is a group of words containing a preposition and an object of the
preposition with its modifiers. Prepositional phrases contain nouns, but these nouns are never the
subject of the sentence.
Example: The dog buried the bone under the porch.

In sentences with prepositional phrases, the subject may be difficult to spot.

Consider the following sentence:

In the young woman’s apartment, paintings covered the walls.

In the sentence above, what is the prepositional phrase? Who or what is the sentence
about?
To avoid making the mistake of thinking that a noun in a prepositional phrase
could be the subject, it is a good practice to cross out any prepositional phrases in a
sentence where you are looking for the subject.

inthe young -womarrs apartment, paintings covered the walls.

With the prepositional phrase crossed out, it now becomes clear that the subject of
the sentence is the noun paintings.

TIP
When you are looking for the subject of asentence, do not look for it within a prepositional phrase.

You can easily recognize a prepositional phrase because it always begins with a
preposition. Study the following list so that you will be able to quickly spot all of the
common prepositions.

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 17
 Common Prepositions »»+<::°*¢s:s««serssrerrrs 2 ae soe 66¢¢e@%%
% ®@ > ® 6 BB 5

* about below in since :

* above beneath inside through
. across beside into to .
- after between into toward
°against beyond near under ‘
along by of until :
“among down off up si
* around during on upon é
wal except outside with
- before for over within :
:behin from past without
S60 ev) © eo) 6 4) 6 8 6.6.8 0 86 8H Se @) 0 9)a 8 © 6.4 €8 6 Cae 6 SS Bes Gee te CeO ee eS He SAH Se OS Ff

In addition to these common prepositions, English has a number of prepositional

combinations—groups of words that function together as prepositions.

Common Prepositional Combinations < ----<++s++«s+sseeeee se hegr

ee ees :
:ahead of in addition to in reference to
* at the time of in between in regard to
* because of in care of in search of
- by means of in case of in spite of
except for in common with instead of
for fear of in contrast to on account of
* for the purpose of in the course of similar to
. for the sake of in exchange for with regard to

TIP
Notice that when a prepositional phrase begins a sentence, a comma usually follows the phrase.
(Sometimes, if the prepositional phrase is short, the comma is omitted.)
Examples: |n the corner, the dog buried its bone.
Before lunch they left.

Creating Sentences with Prepositional Phrases

Use each of the prepositions in the list below to write a prepositional phrase. Then
write a sentence containing that prepositional phrase. Two examples have been done
for you.

Preposition Prepositional Phrase Sentence

before before breakfast My cousin called before breakfast.

Preposition Prepositional Phrase Sentence

between between the two barns Between the two barns, the old Buick
lay rusting.

Preposition Prepositional Phrase

fin

Sentence

18 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Del eaith

Sentence

So

Sentence

4, from
Sentence

Se mating

Sentence

6. by

Sentence

Finding Subjects in Sentences with Prepositional Phrases

Remember that you will never find the subject of asentence within a prepositional
phrase. In each ofthe following sentences, cross out any prepositional phrases. Then
underline the subject. An example has been done for you.

Onmthe-cireus-grounds, Lisa wandered arrong the etephants Herses,anc-eamels-

1. Young people in the circus search for travel, adventure, danger, and romance.
2. However, after a few weeks of pulling cages and sleeping on hay, most of these
people get tired of the circus and go back home.
3. The art of clowning, for instance, is very serious work.
4. Today, a circus clown must graduate from Clown College in Venice, Florida.
5. The staff of Clown College looks across the country for applicants.
6. Admission to the college is not easy.
7. Only 60 people out of 3000 applicants are admitted.

What Are the Other Problems in Finding Subjects?

Sentences That Are Questions
Some sentences begin with words indicating that a question is being asked. These
words, such as why, where, how, and when, give the reader the signal that a question
will follow. This kind of sentence-opening question word is not the subject. The
subject will be found later in the sentence.
The following sentences begin with question words. The subjects are italicized:

Why is he going away?

How did he find his sister in the city?
Notice that the subject is not found in the opening part of either sentence. To make
the subject in a question easier to spot, try answering the question or changing it
into a statement.

He is going away...
He found his sister...

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 19
 Using Here and There
The words here and there can never be the subject of a sentence.

There is a new teacher in the department.

Who or what is this sentence about? It is about a teacher. Teacher is the subject of the
sentence.

Here is the book.

The subject of this sentence is book.

Commands
Sometimes a sentence contains a verb that gives an order:

Go to Halifax.
Help your sister.

In these sentences, the subject you is not written, but it is understood. This is the only
case where the subject may be left out when you write a sentence.

Sentences That Contain Appositive Phrases

DEFINITION
An appositive phrase is a group of words in a sentence that gives us extra information about a
noun in the sentence.
Example: Don Koyama, the retired chemist, sat at his desk.

In the example above, the words the retired chemist make up the appositive phrase
because they give you extra information about Don Koyama. Notice that commas
separate the appositive phrase from the rest of the sentence. If you leave out the
appositive phrase when you read the sentence, the thought will still be complete.

Don Koyama sat at his desk.

Now the subject is clear: Don Koyama.

TIP
When you are looking for the subject of asentence, you will not find it within an appositive phrase.

The word chemist in the example in the box above cannot be the subject because
it is in an appositive phrase.

20 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 Subjects That Look Like Verbs
Words that end in -ing but have no helping verb in front are called gerunds. They act
as nouns, not verbs. A gerund, therefore, can be the subject of a sentence.

Jogging is good for your health.

Finding Hidden Subjects

Each ofthe following sentences contains an example ofa special problem in finding
the subject of asentence. For each sentence, first cross out any prepositional phrases
and appositive phrases. Then underline the subject. An example has been done for
you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

What can we learn-frore-the-stuay-of

ar ancient civilization?

1. Look at a map of South America.

2. Where is the ancient city of Chan Chan?
3. Here on the coastal desert of northern Peru stand the remains ofthis city of the
kings.
4. Chan Ch an, once the fabulously wealthy centre of the Chimor, is in one ofthe
driest, bleakest regions in the world.
5. It was th e largest pre-Columbian city in South America.
6. In the ru ins of this city, scientists have found fragments to piece together the
mystery of the past.
7. How could this civilization have survived this hostile environment and become
so advanced?

How Do You Find the Verb of a Sentence?

Every sentence must have a verb. Verbs can be divided into three classes:

1. Action: An action verb tells what the subject is doing.

Christine Sinclair played soccer in the FIFA Women’s Soccer Cup 2019.
2. Linking: A linking verb indicates a state of being or a condition.
The crowd seemed exhausted during the triathlon.
3. Helping: A helping verb combines with a main verb to form a verb phrase; it
indicate s the time of the main verb or gives it a special meaning.
I could have gone to school today, but I was feeling sick.

Verbs tell time. Use this fact to test for a verb. If you can put a word into different
tenses, it is a verb.

Present: (Today,) he runs.

Past: (Yesterday,) he ran.
Futur e: (Tomorrow,) he will run.

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 21
 Action Verbs

Action verbs tell us what the subject is doing and when the subject does it.
Example: The woman studied ballet.

Look at the example in the box above.

What was the woman doing? studying

What is the time of the action? the past (-ed is the past tense ending)

Action Vert Sicsisicsce) ao ovovtitegens: «aie cate uala)0gnp ete any uate ala/e)teuntauetatacarate :
Vass ciavalat

Most verbs are action verbs. Here are a few examples:

- arrive learn open watch
» leave forget write fly
* enjoy help speak catch
* despise make teach wait
oovoseeaas ° 6 eeeseeeseeeee ser % eeseoeo eee e eae eee euee

Finding Action Verbs

Find the action verb in each ofthe following sentences. First, cross out any
prepositional or appositive phrases; then, underline the subject of the sentence.
Finally, circle the verb (the word that tells what the subject is doing). Also, note the
time of the action: is it past, present, or future? An example has been done foryou.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

Many people hobbies irrehitdhoed. (present)

. Some people collect very strange objects.
One man saved the fortunes from fortune cookies.
A group of people in Alberta often met to discuss their spark plug collections.
People in Brandon, Manitoba, will gather many types of barbed wire.
Collectors take pride in the possession of unusual items.
wh
Nn
S . Acollection, such as odd rocks or unique cars, will let a person express their
individuality.
7. Collections keep us entertained from childhood to old age.

Finding Action Verbs

Each ofthe following sentences contains an action verb. Find the action verb by first
crossing out any prepositional or appositive phrases and underlining the subject of
the sentence. Then circle the verb (the word that tells what the subject is doing). Note
also the time ofthe action: past, present, or future. An example has been done for you.

7p Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Attitudes teware-medicatpractices (future)
1. Traditional Chinese medicine harnessed ancient healing techniques in the
practice of gigong (pronounced chee gong).
2. Masters of this Chinese practice claimed the ability to cure many diseases.
3. The master will project a mysterious force into his students.
4. The hands of the Chinese qigong practitioner will pound at the air above a
patient.
5. Many patients respond to this invisible force.
6. Some patients sway their bodies with the power ofthe force.
7. Some doctors conducted research in China in hopes offinding the secrets ofthis
ancient art.

Linking Verbs
DEFINITION
A linking verb is a verb that joins the subject of asentence to one or more words that describe
or identify the subject.

Examples: The girl (is)a constant dreamer

BA Sigs
She distracted.
7
a ek
We (feel) sym pathetic.

In each example above, the verb links the subject to a word that identifies or describes
the subject. In the first example, the verb is links the noun girl with the noun dreamer.
In the second example, the verb seems links the pronoun she with the adjective
distracted. Finally, in the third example, the verb feel links the pronoun we with the
adjective sympathetic.

Common Linking Verbs

* act feel
appear grow
be (am, is, are, was, were, have been) look
become seem
taste

Finding Linking Verbs

Find the linking verb in each of the following sentences. First, underline the subject of
the sentence. Then, draw an arrow to the word or words that identify or describe the
subject. Finally, circle the linking verb. An example has been done foryou.

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 23
 Oe chs on ee ©
Dreams (are) very important to the Indigenous peoples of Canada.

. The boss is unhappy.

. This cake tastes delicious.
. He looks sick today.
. She got very angry yesterday.
. Michael appears nervous.
. My mom gets mad when |don't clean my room.
8S
at. Megan was tired until the caffeine kicked in.
IRS
Ce
Son,

Finding Linking Verbs

Each ofthe following sentences contains a linking verb. Find the linking verb by first
underlining the subject of the sentence. Then draw an arrow to the word or words
that identify or describe the subject. Finally, circle the linking verb. An example has
been done for you.
pea
es eS
Colds miserable.

. Monica is afraid of catching a cold.

. She felt healthy.
. Everyone in her family became sick.
. Her brother looked horrible.
. She seemed immune to the cold.
. Soon Monica's head grew stuffy.
= The chicken soup from the deli down the street tasted delicious.
SS
Co
IS
Gi
Sen

Helping Verbs (Also Called Auxiliary Verbs)

Helping verbs (verbs that come before the main verb) can help the main verbs
express a particular time or a special meaning.

Sentence Using Helping Verb Time or Meaning Expressed

He is sleeping. right now
He might sleep. maybe now or in the future
He should sleep. ought to, now or in the future
He could have been sleeping. maybe in the past

A modal auxiliary verb is a helping verb that comes before the main verb and
expresses probability, obligation, ability, or necessity.

Modal Auxiliary Verbs

can, could
may, might, must
shall, should
will, would

24 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Be, do, and have are the most common auxiliary verbs. Remember that be, do,
and have can also be used as main verbs of sentences. (When used as a main verb,
be is a linking verb while do and have are action verbs.) All other helping verbs are
usually used only as helping verbs.
Watch out for adverbs that may come in between the helping verb and the
main verb.

DEFINITION
Adverbs are words that can modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs.
Example: Dreams can often frighten young children.

The word often is an adverb that comes between the two words
in the verb
phrase can frighten. For a list of common adverbs, see Section 5, “What Are
Adverbs?” in Chapter 1.

Finding Helping Verbs

Each ofthe following sentences contains a helping verb in addition to the main verb.
In each sentence, first underline the subject. Then circle the entire verb phrase. An
example has been done for you.

In some writing classes, students a journal oftheir work.

1. Keeping a journal could have several advantages.
2. Ina journal, a person can safely express true feelings without fear of criticism by
family or friends.
3. You will be able to capture your memories before they fade.
4. Important, too, would be the development of a writing style and the
improvement of language skills.
5. Ajournal might awaken your imagination.
6. It may unexpectedly bring pleasure and satisfaction.
7. You should seriously consider the purchase ofone ofthose lovely fabric-bound
notebooks.

Chapter Review Exercises

Practice 4 Finding Subjects and Verbs in Simple Sentences

In each ofthe following sentences, cross out any prepositional phrases or appositive
ohrases. Then underline the subject and circle the complete verb. An example has been
done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

The modern family (has been disrupted) by many negative outside iAftences.

. Mother and Dad always blame me for any trouble with my sister.
. My sister, the most popular girl in her class, is two years older than |.
. Yesterday, for instance, she was trying on her new graduation dress.
. Helpfully, |took out her new shoes and purse for her.
. Margaret instantly became furious with me.
es_ |was only sharing Margaret's excitement about her new clothes.
ISS)
(Ue)
SS
Ua)
(ON

NEL
Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 25
 Exercise 8 Finding Subjects and Verbs in Simple Sentences

In each sentence in the following paragraph, cross out any prepositional or appositive
phrases. Then underline the subject and circle the complete verb.

Go West! Western Australia, one of the remaining great boom areas ofthe world,
constitutes one-third of the Australian continent. Why did people by the tens
of thousands go to western Australia in the late 1800s? In 1894, Leslie Robert
Menzies jumped off his camel and landed in a pile of gold nuggets. In less than
two hours, this man gathered over a million dollars in gold. He eventually took
five tonnes of gold to the bank by wheelbarrow! Kalgoorlie and Boulder, the two
boom towns near there, boast the richest golden mile in the world. With all the
gold seekers, this surface gold did not last very long. Now the only bands of rich
ore lie more than 1200 metres down under the ground: There are many ghost
towns with their empty iron houses and rundown chicken coops.

Composing Complete Sentences

Below are two lists, one of subjects and one of verbs. Compose ten complete
sentences, each one using any subject from one list and any verb from the other list.
Use each subject and each verb only once. Try to vary the position of the subject in
the sentence. An example has been done for you. (Do not use it as one of your own
sentences.)

The dentist looks very tired today.

1. dogs is
2. Nose chased
5 Sle are
4. dentist was
5. Saskatchewan singing
6. fishing has
7. problems screams
8. obeying see
9. mailbox approaches
10. storm looks

‘E

4.

Se

6.

de

26 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Working Together: Singling Out Subjects

Student profile: On a separate piece of paper, answer the five questions about
yourself that are listed below. Write on every other line to make your writing more
readable. Write freely for twenty minutes. Then exchange papers with another
student. Using a pencil, circle the subject in every sentence in your classmate’s
writing (you should be able to narrow it down to one word in most cases). Try not
to confuse subjects (nouns that do the action) with objects (nouns that receive the
action). Be prepared to share examples with the class.

1. Tell about the first book you remember looking at or reading.

2. Who was your most memorable teacher in elementary school? What is it about
this teacher that you remember?
i) . What person outside of school has taught you the most?
4. What online magazines do you subscribe to or would like to subscribe to,
and why?
5. When you have a day or half a day to yourself, how do you spend that time?

NEL Chapter 2 Recognizing Subjects and Verbs 27

 Solving Verb
Problems

Note: For problems involving subject-verb agreement, see Chapter 4.

Quiz Test yourself on your knowledge of verb forms. In each of the following sentences,
choose the correct form for the verb in parentheses.
The answers are upside down
beside the quiz.

1. The soccer game will continue only after the lightning and rain . (stop)

2. Since he was poor and unappreciated by the music world when he died in 1791,
Mozart did not realize the importance that his music (have) in the
twenty-first century.

3. My aunt told me yesterday thatshe___—————s (Duy) a new condo the day

Mes °C
before that.
Pa “b ‘
epee 5 4, Hemingway wrote only about subjects that he (like)
dojs yO Paar aaey ‘|
ssuamsuy 5 | (see) the woman buy the purple hat yesterday.

Since every sentence contains at least one verb, and verbs can take many forms, it
is worth taking some time and effort to understand these forms and their uses. In
Chapter 2, you learned to recognize verbs. In this chapter, you will study several other
aspects of verbs that often cause difficulty for writers:

» irregular verbs
« verb tense consistency
* sequence of verb tenses
* present perfect and past perfect tenses
* active and passive voice
* subjunctive mood

28 NEL
 What Are the Principal Parts of the Irregular Verbs?
The English language has more than 100 irregular verbs—that is, ones that do not form
the past tense or past participle with the usual -ed ending. When you listen to young
children, you often hear them utter expressions such as “Yesterday I cutted myself.”
Later on, they will learn that the verb cut is unusual and calls for the irregular form:
“Yesterday I cut myself.” The best way to learn these verbs is to listen to how they sound.
Say the irregular forms out loud over and over until you have learned them. If you find
that you don’t know a particular verb’s meaning, or you cannot pronounce a verb and
its forms, ask your instructor for help. Most irregular verbs are very common words that
you will use often in both writing and speaking. You will want to know them well.
For more on this topic, see Appendix D, “Irregular Verbs,” online at
nelson.com/student (see Student Companion site for The Canadian
Writer’s Workplace, Ninth Edition).

DEFINITION
An irregular verb forms its past tense or past participle, or both, in a different way from the usual
-ed ending of regular verbs.
Example: Yesterday, he cut himself.
(The word cut is the past tense form ofthe irregular verb to cut.)

Practising Fifty Irregular Verbs

These are the three principal parts of irregular verbs:

Simple Form Past Form Past Participle

(also called Bare (used with perfect tenses after
Infinitive Form) has, have, or will have, or with
passive voice after the verb to be)

I. The following verbs do not change their forms:

(Notice they all end in -t or -d.)

Simple Form Past Form Past Participle

bet bet bet
cost cost cost
cut cut cut
fit fit fit
hit hit hit
hurt hurt hurt
quit quit quit
spread spread spread

II. The following verbs have the same simple present form and past participle:

Simple Form Past Form Past Participle

come came come
become became become

NEL
Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 29
 Using Irregular Verb Forms

Fill in the correct form of the verb in the following sentences.

(cost) 1. Last year the tuition for my education 7 percent more

than the year before.
(quit) 2. | have trying to guess my expenses for next year.
(spread) 3. The message has that college costs continue to spiral.
(hit) 4, Most parents have been with large tax increases.
(become) 5. Financing a child’s higher education has a difficult task.

III. The following verbs have the same simple past form and past participle:

Simple Form Past Form Past Participle

bend bent bent
bleed bled bled
bring brought brought
buy bought bought
catch caught caught
creep crept crept
feed fed fed
fight fought fought
keep kept kept
lead led led
lend lent lent
seek sought sought
send sent sent
sleep slept slept
speed sped sped
spend spent spent
sweep swept Swept
teach taught taught
think thought thought
weep wept wept

Knowing the Irregular Verb Forms

Fill in the correct form ofthe verb in the following sentences.

buy) 1. Last year the school district new chemistry texts.

spend) 2. Some parents felt they had too much money on these
new books.
bleed) 3. They claimed the taxpayers were being_ dry.
keep) 4. These parents argued that the school should have the
old books.
think) 5. The teachers the old books were worn out.

30 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

IV. The following verbs all have different forms:

Simple Form Past Form Past Participle

begin began begun
bite bit bitten (or bit)
blow blew blown
drink drank drunk
drive drove driven
fly flew flown
grow grew grown
hide hid hidden (or hid)
know knew known
ride rode ridden
ring rang rung
rise rose risen
shrink shrank shrunk
sing sang sung
sink sank sunk
spring sprang sprung
strive strove striven
swim swam swum
throw threw thrown
write wrote written

Knowing the Irregular Verb Forms

Fill in the correct form of the verb in the following sentences.

(grow) 1. Adventure holidays in popularity during the last decade.

(fly) 2. Years ago, travellers to Spain to see bullfights.
(throw) 3. Today, some clients dream of being by the bull.
(ride, swim) 4. As part of adventure trips, people have horseback,
have across rivers, and have walked for days to get
to their destinations.
(shrink) 5. Clients of anew trend called “reality tours”do not even
from visiting jails.

Using Irregular Verb Forms

Supply the past form or the past participle for each verb in parentheses.

Ever since people to write, they have about the great

(begin) (write)
mysteries in nature. For instance, no one why the dinosaurs
(know)
disappeared. Scientists now have on one strong possibility.
(bet)

Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 31

 That possibility is that 65 million years ago, a chunk of rock ten kilometres

wide the earth and up a thick cloud of dust. The dust

(hit) (throw) (keep)
the sunlight from the earth; therefore, certain life forms disappeared. Some

scientists have that this could also have the earth's

(think) (shrink)
animal population by as much as 70 percent. Other scientists are not so sure

that this is the answer. They believe time has the real reason for the
(hide)
disappearance ofthe dinosaurs.

Using Irregular Verb Forms

Supply the past form or the past participle for each verb in parentheses.

edical researchers have a cure for the common cold, but so far
(seek)
hey have
cot without success. The cold virus has throughout
(fight) (spread)
he world, and the number of cold victims has
Gate every year.
(rise)
Past experience has us that people who drink plenty of liquids
(teach)
and take Aspirin get over colds more quickly than those who do not,

but this remedy is not good enough. People have also believed that you

a fever and starved a cold, but recent research has

(feed) (lead)
to a refutation ofthis belief. It has a lot of time and effort to search
(cost)
for a vaccine, but so far the new knowledge has not a cure.
(bring)

Avoiding Unnecessary Shifts in Verb Tense

Do not shift verb tenses (move from past to present, for example) as you write unless
you intend to change the time of the action.

Shifted tense: The customer asked (past tense) for the prescription, but
the pharmacist says (present tense) that the ingredients
are being ordered (present tense).
Revised: The customer asked (past tense) for the prescription, but
the pharmacist said (past tense) that the ingredients were
being ordered (past tense).
De Unit 1 Sentence Skills
 Correcting Unnecessary Shifts in Verb Tense

Each ofthe following sentences has an unnecessary shift in verb tense. Revise each
sentence so that the tense remains consistent. There may be more than one correct
answer for each sentence. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, ‘Answer
Key to Practices.”

1. After |complete that writing course, |took the required history course.

2. Inthe beginning of the movie, the action was slow; by the end, |am sitting on
the edge of my seat.

3. The textbook gives the rules for writing a Works Cited page, but it didn’t explain
how to use parenthetical references.

4. |was walking in the park when all of asudden | see her running toward me.

5. The encyclopedia gave several pages of information about astronomy, but it

doesn't give anything about black holes.

6. The invitation requested that Juan be at the ceremony and that he will attend
the banquet as well.

7. That website gives you excellent information, but it was too cluttered.

NEL Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 33

 Correcting Unnecessary Shifts in Verb Tense

The following paragraph contains unnecessary shifts in verb tense. Change each
incorrect verb to past tense. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer
Key to Practices’

Doctor Norman Bethune grows up in Gravenhurst, Ontario. He was educated in

Toronto and serves as a stretcher bearer in World War |. He contracted tuberculosis
and thereafter devotes himselfto helping other victims of the disease when he
practises surgery in Montreal. He also invents or redesigned twelve medical and
surgical instruments. Bethune travelled to Russia in 1935, joined the Communist
Party, and goes to Spain in 1936, where he organized the first mobile blood
transfusion service during the Spanish Civil War. After returning to Canada, he
shortly left for overseas again, this time to China, where he helped the Chinese
Communists in their fight against Japan. “Spain and China,’ he writes, “are part of
the same battle” While there, he contracted an infection and died. Mao's essay
“In Memory of Norman Bethune,’ prescribed reading during China's Cultural
Revolution, urges all Communists to follow Bethune’s example of selfless
dedication to others. Bethune is the best-known Canadian to the Chinese, and
many Chinese visit his Canadian birthplace.

What Is the Sequence of Tenses?

Sentences often contain two or more verbs that carry different tenses according
to the times at which the actions take place. The type of sentence in which this
happens is called a complex sentence: one that contains both an independent clause
and a dependent clause. (Note that the dependent clause might come before the
independent clause.)
Before explaining the sequence of tenses, which refers to the proper order
of verb tense when a sentence contains more than one action, it is first necessary to
introduce the terms independent clause and dependent clause.

DEFINITION
An independent clause (IC) is a group of words that can be a simple sentence. Independent
means that the words can stand alone as a sentence, and clause means it has a subject and a
verb. An independent clause is a complete thought.
Example: The students worked on their papers all night long.

DEFINITION
A dependent clause (DC) cannot stand alone as a simple sentence. It is an incomplete
thought. Even though it has a subject and a verb, it depends on the rest of the sentence for
completeness.
Example: Because their assignments were due in the morning
The word assignments is the subject of the verb were, so this group of words is a clause.
But it is not a complete sentence. It is a dependent clause (DC).

34 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 The term sequence of tenses refers to the proper use of verb tenses in complex sentences
(sentences that have both an independent clause and a dependent clause).
Example: The students had worked on their papers all night long because their assignments
were due the following morning.
The verb had worked in the independent clause is in the past perfect tense, and the
verb were in the dependent clause is in the past tense. The first action (the students
working) takes place before the second one (the papers being due).

The verb tense in the independent clause determines the tense of the verb in the
dependent clause. The guide below shows the relationship between the verb in the
independent clause (IC) and the verb in the dependent clause (DC). °

Sequence of Tenses --«-+«<<:

é Time of the DC in
- Independent Clause Dependent Clause Relation to the IC
* If the tense of the independent clause is in the present (he knows), here are the possibilities for
: the dependent clause:
that she is right. same time
* He knows that she was right. earlier
: that she will be right. later
: If the tense of the independent clause is in the past (he knew), here are the possibilities for the
» dependent clause:
that she was right. same time
He knew that she had been right. earlier
; that she would be right. later
If the independent clause is in the future (he will tell), here are the possibilities for the dependent
* clause:
; if she goes. same time
* He will tell us if she has gone. earlier
if she will go. later

Using the Correct Tense

In each ofthe following sentences, choose the correct tense for the verb in the
dependent clause. Use the guide above if you need help. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. The golf tournament will continue only after the thunder and lightning
(stop)
2. Since he thought that he was buying a well-maintained car, Enzo did not realize
the problems that this car in the months to come.
(have)
3. |will know when | get my next paycheque whether or not | a stereo
next week. (buy)

NEL Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 35

 4. Albert Einstein failed the entrance exam at the Swiss Federal Institute of
Technology because he a very disciplined student.
(be) + never
5. Jacob ate only those foods that he
(like)
6. Sasha believes that with a lot of hard work and a little luck, she
successful, (be) + soon
7. | know that my best course of action to tell the truth.
(be)

How Do You Use the Present Perfect and

the Past Perfect Tenses?
Forming the Perfect Tenses
Present perfect tense: has or have + past participle of the main verb
has worked
have worked
Past perfect tense: had + past participle of the main verb
had worked

What Do These Tenses Mean?

DEFINITION
The present perfect tense describes an action that started in the past and continues to the
present time
Example: Elena has worked at the hospital for ten years.

The example in the box above indicates that Elena began to work at the hospital
ten years ago and is still working there now.
Examine the following timeline. What does it tell you about the present
perfect tense?

Present Perfect Tense -

Present
(moment of speaking) ;
Past future -
OO ORC EC ER .

The following sentences include examples of the present perfect tense:

She has studied French since 2004.

I have always despised that television show.

36 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 The present perfect tense can also describe an action that has just taken place, or an action
whose exact time in the past is indefinite.
Example: Has Elena found a job yet?
Elena has (just) found a new job in Moncton.
Have you ever been to Kapuskasing?
Yes, |have been there three times.

If the time were definite, you would use the simple past:

Elena found a new job yesterday.

Yes, I was there last week.

DEFINITION
The past perfect tense describes an action that occurred before another activity or before
another point in the past.
Example: Elena had worked at the hospital for ten years before she moved away.

In the example in the definition above, there are two past actions: Elena worked,
and Elena moved. The action that took place first is in the past perfect (had worked).
The action that took place later, but was also completed in the past, is in the simple
past (moved).

Past Perfect Tense ...-:««.

present
(moment of speaking)
: past future °
first action second action
in the past in the past
XXXXXXXXX

had worked Moved

The following sentences include examples of the past perfect tense:

Using the Correct Verb Tense

Complete the following sentence by filling in each blank with either the present
perfect tense or the past perfect tense of the verb given.

1. Yolanda told us that she in Fort Smith before she moved to

Mexico City. (live)
2. Mexico City visitors for many years.
(fascinate)

NEL
Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 37
 3. This city the largest Spanish-speaking city in the world, and
(become)
people it grow larger every year.
(watch)
4. The suburbs ofthe city old villages that peacefully
(overwhelm) (exist)
since the days ofthe Aztecs.
5. Today, Mexico City a computer-controlled subway system to deal
(build)
with its huge transportation problem.

What Is the Difference between Active and Passive Voice?

In the active voice, the subject does the acting. In the passive voice, the subject is
acted upon. (See examples in the box below.) But which one is usually better to use?
And does this mean the other should never be used at all?

Active Voice Is Generally Better =

Stylistically speaking, using the active voice most often produces a stronger sentence:
Active: The dog buried its bone.
Passive: The bone was buried by the dog.

The first sentence is stronger not only because it is shorter, but also because the
subject does the action, so more focus is placed on the subject in this sentence. In the
second sentence, the bone is the subject. But the bone does not do the burying. The
dog has still done the burying, but the dog is not the subject. (In fact, it is part of a
prepositional phrase, so it cannot be the subject. See the definition of a prepositional
phrase in Chapter 1.) So the focus is taken away from the action and its doer.

The Place for Passive Voice

Although active voice is generally better than passive voice, there are situations in
which passive voice is more appropriate:

1. You are in a position of authority and, in an official capacity, you are required
to give bad news to someone. In such a case, it is sometimes advisable to speak
deliberately vaguely about what the cause of the bad news is. Using the passive
rather than the active voice helps to do this.

Unfortunately, it was decided that the job go to an internal candidate.

The above sentence is in the passive voice. The person who made the decision
is not mentioned. This wording might have been chosen to protect whoever did
the deciding. Since the passive voice takes the focus away from the performer of
the action (deciding), the recipient of the bad news is less likely to ask specific
questions that the employer would prefer not to discuss.

38 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 2. It is also better to use the passive rather than active voice when the subject that
has been acted upon is more important than the doer of the action.

The Liberals have been given more seats than the Conservatives in the House
of Commons.

Who is the doer of the action here? Who actually gave more seats to the Liberals?
The answer is the people of Canada who voted in the election. So why aren’t
these people mentioned at all? Well, it’s obvious, since that’s how elections work.
What isn’t obvious is who won, so that’s why the word Liberals becomes the
subject of the sentence even though it does not refer to the doer of the action. The
sentence, therefore, is better in the passive voice, which places the focus on the
most relevant information.

3. Putting a sentence in the passive voice is also a good idea when the action itself
is More important than the doer of the action. People in the sciences and in legal
affairs often report events this way.

An image of a black hole was released today.

The accused was acquitted today.

In the first sentence above, there is no need to report that scientists took a picture
of a black hole. Nor is there need to mention, in the second sentence, that the
accused was acquitted by a judge.

Active and Passive Voice - - -

. In the active voice, the subject does the acting:

The committee made the decision.

* Choose the active voice generally to achieve direct, economical, and forceful writing.
. Most writing, therefore, should be in the active voice.
- In the passive voice, the subject is acted upon:

The decision was made by the committee

or
The decision was made.

. Notice in these passive sentences that the actor is de-emphasized since it is not the subject.
- In fact, it may be omitted entirely from the sentence.

> Choose the passive voice to de-emphasize the actor or to avoid naming the actor at all.

Study the two sentences below. The first is in the active voice, and the second is
in the passive. Which one is more appropriate in this case and why? What are the
disadvantages of each?

Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield took his third trip to space in 2013.
A third trip to space was taken by Canadian astronaut Chris Hadfield
in 2013.

NEL Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 39

 How Do You Form the Passive Voice?

The passive voice of a verb consists of a form of be (am, is, are, was, were, being, be,
or been) plus the past participle of the main verb.

Cars and trucks are built in Oshawa.

1. Use the past participle, not the base form or past tense of a verb, to form the
passive voice.
2. Identify the subject, and make sure the form of the auxiliary verb be agrees with it.
3. Use only transitive verbs (verbs that can take a direct object) in the passive voice.

: Subject Acted Upon it +Verb to be + Past Participle + by Phrase (Optional) °

. The race was won (by the runner) .
* The fish was cooked ; (by the chef)
» The books are illustrated (by the artists)

Practice 4 Choosing the Right Voice

Rewrite the following sentences, changing the active voice to the passive and the
passive voice to the active. Then decide in each case which one is best and why.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

1. The latest Marvel superhero movie made two billion dollars.

2. The movie was enjoyed by audiences everywhere.
3. Audiences liked all the action-packed scenes.
4, Many celebrities were in the movie.
5. The final Avengers movie was called Endgame.
6. The death of Iron Man was sad.
7. Audiences cheered at the end of the movie.

Choosing the Right Voice

Fill in the following chart by making all sentences on the left active voice and all
sentences on the right passive voice. Then discuss with your classmates and instructor
why you might choose the active voice or the passive voice in each case.

Active Voice Passive Voice

ik 1. The wrong number was dialled by
the child by mistake.

De 2. We went to the store where

many shoes were available to be
purchased.
3. The tornado struck Cherry Creek S
last spring.
4, The wind blew the leaves across 4.
the yard.

40 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Ss 5. Inthe 1970s, platform shoes were
E worn by many fashionable young
men and women.

What Is the Subjunctive?

The subjunctive is a verb form used to express untruths, desires, or demands. It is found in some
dependent clauses.
Example: If|were a millionaire, |would travel around the world.
She demanded that he arrive on time.
(Verbs in italics are in the subjunctive form.)

Recognize these three situations that call for the subjunctive:

1. Unreal conditions using tf, wish, as if, as though

If
were
he my teacher, I would be pleased.
He wishes he were in France.
Try to act though
as you were proud.
Note that as ifand as though don’t always call for the subjunctive. It is
correct to say, “It looks as if it is snowing.” In this case, the speaker is simply
describing what is very likely true. The difference is in the degree of doubt.
The subjunctive of the verb be has the form were whether the subject is
plural or singular. Use it to show that what is being wished for or considered is
not (or not yet) a fact. For example:

If |were you . . . (I can’t be you.)

I wish I were rich. (I’m not.)
He acts as if were
he the boss. (He’s not.)

2. Clauses starting with that expressing demands, resolutions, or requests (after

verbs such as ask, command, demand, insist, move, order, recommend, suggest,
or urge)

I demand that she work harder.

Sullivan insisted that Jones report on Tuesday.
The subjunctive uses the simple form of the verb whether the subject is
singular or plural.

3. Clauses starting with that after adjectives expressing urgency (as in it is

necessary, it is imperative, it is urgent, it is important, and it is essential)

It
necessary
is that she wear a net covering her hair.
that Robert understand the concept.
Again, the subjunctive always uses the simple form of the verb.

NEL
Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems Al
 Other Problems with Verbs
Do not use more than one modal auxiliary (can, may, might, must, should, ought)
with the main verb.

Incorrect: Ethan shouldn’t ought to drop that course.

Correct: Ethan ought not to drop that course.
or
Ethan shouldn’t drop that course.

Do not use should of, would of, or could of to mean should have, would have, or
could have.

Incorrect: Alana would of helped you if she could of.

Correct: Alana would have helped you if she could have.

See more on helping verbs in Chapter 1.

Chapter Review Exercises

Solving Problems with Verbs

Revise each ofthe following sentences to avoid problems with verbs. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices”

1. He hadn't ought to drive so fast.

2. It is essential that Lynn takes her dog to the vet.

3. |wish | was a chef.

4, She sung for a huge crowd Saturday night.

5. |was shook up by the accident.

6. The hill was climbed by the skiers.

7. My father ask me last night to helo him build a deck.

42 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Exercise 8 Solving Problems with Verbs

Some of the verbs in the following paragraph are incorrect. Find the errors and
correct them.

| knowed |was in big trouble in chemistry when |took a look at the midterm
exam. My semester should of been a lot better. The first day | had my new
textbook, | put it on the back seat of a taxi and forgot it when |got out. Then |
catched a cold and miss the next two classes. When |finally start off for class,
| missed the bus and walked into the classroom halfan hour late. The teacher
scowls at me and ask to speakto me after class. | use to always sit in the front row
so |could see the board and hear the lectures, but now that |am late | have to
take a seat in the last row. |wish |was able to start this class over again the right
way. No one had ought to have such an unlucky start in any class.

Working Together: Verbs, Not Verbiage

Student profile: On a separate piece of paper, answer the following five questions
about yourself. Double space or write on every other line to make your writing more
readable. Write freely for twenty minutes. Then exchange papers with another
student. Using a pencil, circle each verb in your classmate’s writing. Are any of the
verbs incorrect in their form or in their tense? Be prepared to share examples
with the class.

1. Tell about the first car you remember owning or driving.

2. Who was the first person who looked up to? What is the one thing about this
person that you remember?
3. Who was the person in school who taught you the most?
4. What is one television program you enjoy and why?
5. When you go away for the weekend, where is one place you like to go?

Chapter 3 Solving Verb Problems 43

NEL p
1 Subject-Verb
Agreement

Test yourselfon your knowledge of subject-verb agreement. On the line before each
sentence below, write the correct form ofthe verb. The answers are upside down
beside the quiz.

The history of humankind’s attempts to fly

(goes, go) back hundreds of years.
An ancient myth that describes men trying to
fly with wings made of feathers and wax (has,
have) been passed on.
The famous inventor Leonardo da Vinci made
designs for a helicopter that (was, were) very
detailed.
Every aviator who set a new flying record in
the early years offlight (was, were) treated as a
hero.
ot only helicopters but also the jet engine
was, were) among the advances that
occurred during the Second World War.

For your sentences to be logical, all parts of each sentence must agree. Agreement is
the correspondence between words in number, gender, or person. Subjects and verbs
agree in number (singular or plural) and person (first: J or we; second: you; or third:
he, she, it, or they).
Many students have problems with agreement in their writing. Work through
this chapter carefully so that you will be able to identify and deal effectively with these
trouble spots in your own writing.

44 NEL
 Subject-Verb Agreement within the Sentence

There is subject-verb agreement in a sentence when a verb agrees with its subject in number
and in person.
Examples: The girl plays.
The girls play.
lam here on Thursdays.
(The verb plays in the first sentence is singular. It agrees with the singular subject girl)
(The verb play in the second sentence is plural. It agrees with the plural subject girls.)
(The verb am in the third sentence is in the first person. It agrees with the first-person
subject /.)

If the subject is singular, the verb must also be singular. Notice how singular and
plural subjects are handled in the following chart:

he I
she sleeps you
it we sleep
any singular noun they
any plural noun

Example: The baby sleeps. Example: The babies sleep.

TIP
Remember that a singular verb (in the present tense) that goes with a singular noun or pronoun
(except | or you) needs a final s.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

y uncle (cycle, cycles) thirty kilometres a day.

He (amaze, amazes) the family.
His routes (varies, vary) with his mood.
Friends (cheers, cheer) him on.
et
SS
a
ISS (hopes, hope) I’m that energetic at his age.

Special Problems in Making Verbs Agree with Their Subjects

RULE 1 5
The subject is not always the noun closest to the verb. Remember, you will not find the
subject of the sentence within a prepositional phrase.

In the example that follows, the subject is underlined, the prepositional phrase is
crossed out, and the verb is circled.

The hairline cracks i#the-engine (present) a serious threat to

passengers’ safety.

NEL
Chapter 4 Subject-Verb Agreement 45
 Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

i The rules of the game ofchess (is, are) very complicated.

e The pawns on the board (moves, move) only one square at a time except on the
first move, when they can move up to two squares.
_ The rooks on the four corners of the board (moves, move) in straight lines, not
diagonally.
_ [fall the pawns on, for example, the white side (is, are) gone from the board, no
white pieces can any longer be retrieved.
. Several versions of the musical about the game and with the same name—
Chess—(is, are) being performed throughout the world.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences.

ie The marbles from the box (is, are) multicoloured.

2. The box of soup cans in the kitchen (was, were) delivered from the charity.
. The fees for riding public transportation (has, have) been lowered for the first time
in the city’s history.
4. The three students from English class (go, goes) to Tim Hortons together every day.
. Over the bridge, through the tunnel, and across the meadow, the cats from the
farm (travel, travels) daily.

Many indefinite pronouns take a singular verb.

Indefinite Pronouns
Indefinite Pronouns Taking a Singular Verb
—one everyone someone anyone no one
—body everybody somebody anybody nobody
—thing everything something anything nothing
each another either neither
Everyone is expecting a miracle.

Indefinite Pronouns Taking a Plural Verb

both few many several
The talks between the two countries failed.
Both were to blame.

Indefinite Pronouns Taking a Singular or Plural Verb Depending on the Meaning in the
Sentence
any all more
none* some most

The books are gone. All were very popular.

The sugar is gone. All of it was spilled.
“in informal usage

46 Sentence Skills NEL

 The English language is constantly evolving. The word none, for example, is in
transition. The letters one inside the word none suggest that this indefinite pronoun
should be singular. In formal usage, this is so, and none takes a singular verb in
accordance with the subject-verb agreement rule:

None of my pens is working.

In general (less formal) usage, none, like the other indefinite pronouns listed with it
in the box above, can be either singular or plural depending on the noun that it refers
to (this noun usually follows the preposition of after the word none).

None of the sugar is wasted.

None of the people are here yet.

Sometimes you have to make the decision. Do you go with formal or general usage?
Your decision might depend on the audience for your composition and on its purpose
(see Chapter 21, “Style Beyond Sentence Skills”). You might also want to ask your
instructor what they prefer.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. Everyone in the four classes (is, are) studying for exams.

2. Neither book (has, have) the answer to her question.
3. Everybody in all programs (is, are) expected to bring a student card to the exam.
4. Each question on all exams (specifies, specify) how many marks the question is
worth.
5. No one, except for emergency purposes, (is, are) allowed to leave the exam until it
is over.
6. Both the English exam and the math exam (is, are) on Tuesday.
7. None of these pencils (is, are) sharp enough for the Scantron portion of the
math exam.

RULE 3
When a pair of conjunctions is used, the verb agrees with the subject closer to the verb.

Neither the textbook nor my lecture notes the meaning of the

term “tidal wave.”

Textbook and notes together make up the compound subject. Since notes is closer to
the verb, the verb agrees with notes.

Pairs of Conjunctions
neither... nor either... or not only... but also

NEL
Chapter 4 Subject-Verb Agreement 47
 Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

1. Neither the students nor the teacher (is, are) smoking on the patio.
2. It was obvious that not only the automotive students but also their dean
(was, were) noticeably outraged by the college president's decision to shut
the campus down.
3. Neither the police officer nor the firefighters (seems, seem) afraid in spite of
people's continuous screams.
4, Not only the children but also their mother (takes, take) the bus every day.
5. Either the buses or the subway (has, have) resumed service, but not both.

RULE 4 :
In some sentences, the subject can come after the verb. In these cases, be sure that
the verb agrees with the subject.

Here( is )the surprise I promised you.

Who the people with you last night?

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

In the room, there (is, are) two windows.

If they are ever late, there (is, are) always a good reason.
Who (is, are) her real friends, as opposed to those who just want things from her?
There (is, are) plenty of marbles on the floor.
eee
ae Here (is, are) some Salt for your fries.

RULE 5 .
A group noun in Canadian English usually takes a singular verb if the group is acting
as a unit. (The test is to substitute the word it in place of the group noun.)

The town council is a Canada Day celebration.

In this sentence, the council is acting as a unit. Jt is planning a celebration. Therefore,

the verb is singular.

RULE 6
A group noun takes a plural verb if the members of the group are acting as individuals.
(The test is to substitute the word they for the group noun and see if it sounds right.)

The town council are their speeches for this event.

In this sentence, the council members are individually preparing speeches. They
substitutes for the group noun in this sentence. Since the individuals are acting
separately, the verb is plural.

48 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 Common Group Nouns -: - + «~ -
* audience Class © committee council
“crowd family group Jury
. Management number team staff

Practice 6 Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, ‘Answer Key to Practices”

1. The class (is, are) performing their presentations this week.

2. The family (is, are) all eating at separate times throughout the week.
3. The committee (has, have) decided to go ahead with the construction of the
public swimming pool.
4. The group (has, have) voted 5-4 in favour of joining forces with their opponents.
5. The crowd (claps, clap) whenever the “applause” sign lights up.

RULE 7
The verbs do and be are often troublesome. Remember that standard English uses s
for the third person singular in the present tense (he, she, or it does) and for the verb
to be in the past tense (he, she, or it was).

Verbs do and be
The verb to do The verb to be (past tense)
| do we |was we
you do you (plural) |
do you were you :were
he they he | they
she does she > Was
it | it

She does the signage for the Christmas pageant every year.
They do everything they can to help others.
You were at the scene of the crime.
He was elected to the position.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the correct verb in the following sentences. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices."

The boy and his date (does, do) the samba every time they go to a Latin dance club.
She and he (was, were) the first ones to arrive at school today.
It (does, do) feel like 40 degrees outside today.
Fr

Jake and Amelia (does, do) their homework together every weekend.
Se
NSCameron and she (was, were) here for three hours before they talked to
each other.

NEL
Chapter 4 Subject-Verb Agreement 49
 Chapter Review Exercises

Practice 8 Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Underline the verb that agrees with the subject. Check your answers against those in
Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.

1. He (doesn't, don't) study in the library anymore.

2. We (was, were) hoping to find him there.
3. The library (doesn't, don't) close until eleven o'clock.
4, (Was, Were) you late tonight?
5. Ann (doesn't, don't) care if you stay until closing time.

Practice 9 Making the Subject and Verb Agree

In the blanks next to each sentence, write the subject of the sentence and the correct
form of the verb. An example has been done for you. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

Subject Verb
The eleven proposals for the development of a
new building at Laurier Circle (has, have) been
submitted to the city. proposals have
1. The price ofairline tickets to England
(has, have) remained fairly reasonable.
2. His decision (requires, require) much
thought.
3. She (doesn't, don't) know the answer
to any ofthe test questions.
4. Either the guide or the security guard
(see, sees) every visitor.
5. The committee (agree, agrees) to the
fundraising projects for this year.
6. Potato chips and cola (is, are) most of
her diet.
7. One of the people in the audience
° (is, are) my brother.

50 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

In the blanks next to each sentence, write the subject of the sentence and the correct
form of the verb.

Subject Verb
1. Included in the price of the trip (was,
were) five nights in a lovely hotel and
all meals.
2. None of the members (wants, want)
to go.
3. Jerry and Aldo (works, work) well
together.
4, The number of essay questions on the
apprenticeship exam (seems, seem) to
be increasing.
5. When (does, do) your parents return
from their vacation?
6. In the whole town there (is, are) only
two good restaurants.
7. Neither a piano nor Jim's guitar (was,
were) available.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

Use your answers in Exercise 2 as the main subjects and verbs in your own sentences.
For example, if the subject in the first column is cars, and the verb in the second is
perform, your own sentence might look something like this:

Cars from Japan generally perform better than cars from the United States.

Note that the sentence / prefer cars from Japan because they perform better than cars
from the United States would not work in this exercise because in this sentence, the
subject is not cars but / and the main verb is prefer.

Making the Subject and Verb Agree

The following paragraph has several occurrences of subject-verb disagreement.

Rewrite the paragraph making sure all verbs agree with their subjects.

Going to the movies are a favourite thing for me to do on the weekends. |like all
kinds of movies: horror flicks, comedies, drama, adventure film, and so on. And not
all the movies | watch comes from Hollywood. | also like independent film, foreign
films with subtitles, and Bollywood movies. When | go with my friends, they often
want to see something I've already seen. They can't believe |see so many on a
regular basis. But because | like movies so much, | sometimes sees them twice,
especially since sometimes it's more fun to see the same movie with friends than

Chapter 4 Subject-Verb Agreement 54

 a brand new one by myself. Except for the astronomically high prices the cinema
charge for popcorn, pop, and candy, there's not many more exciting things to do
than go to a great movie on a weekend night. For two hours or so, the problems
of the world disappears and I'm very content to be lost in a world outside myself

Working Together: Magazine Mayhem

To the instructor: Bring a magazine (that you don’t mind destroying) to class. If
your class has students from one particular program, you might want to choose a
magazine with related subject matter. Circulate the magazine among your students
along with a pair of scissors. Tell students how much time they have for the following
activity. Students may use their text if they think it can help.

To the students: Cut out one paragraph that is at least five sentences long and is
interesting to you, and then pass the magazine and scissors on to the next person.
In your paragraph, underline the subject of every sentence, and circle the verb that
goes with each subject. Then rewrite the paragraph on a separate sheet of paper, but
deliberately make every verb that you have circled disagree with its subject. Write as
legibly as possible and double space your work so that someone else can easily read it.
Now trade your rewritten paragraph with that of someone else who is sitting
close to you. Keep your original paragraph with the underlined subjects and the
circled verbs. On your partner’s rewritten paragraph, underline the subject of every
sentence and circle the verb that goes with each one, correct or incorrect. Write in
corrections above the incorrect verbs, making sure all verbs now agree with their
subjects. Trade the papers back with your classmate when you're finished.
Now compare the subjects and corrected verbs on the rewritten paragraph with
the answers on the original paragraph you cut out. Discuss any discrepancies with
your classmate.

52 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Chapter 5
Coordination
are!
Subordination

Test yourself on your knowledge of combining sentences using coordination

(acomma and a coordinating conjunction). The following pair of sentences could
be combined into a single sentence. Ofthe four choices given, place a check mark
in front of the example that joins them correctly using coordination. The answer is
upside down beside the quiz.

Chocolate became a popular drink throughout Europe. It was thought to be good for
your health.

1. Chocolate became a popular drink

throughout Europe, it was thought to be good
for your health.
2. Chocolate became a popular drink
throughout Europe because it was thought to
be good for your health.
3. Chocolate became a popular drink
throughout Europe, for it was thought to be
good for your health.
— Chocolate became a popular drink

throughout Europe and good for your health.

| Quick Quiz2 | Test yourselfon your knowledge of combining sentences using subordination
(a subordinating conjunction or a relative pronoun). Combine each ofthe following
pairs of sentences using either a subordinating conjunction or a relative pronoun.
More than one correct answer is possible. Sample answers are upside down beside
the quiz.

NEL 53
 1. |live alone with two cats.
They sleep on the braided rug in my bedroom.

2. The police stood by the door.

They blocked our entrance.

3. She wore high heels.

They made marks in the wooden floor.

“Ayyeroueuy Hurj66n.ys
aq 0} patie} ay yBnoyye sayjo|> , : ;
JauBisap aaisuadxe aiom aH °S 4. My aunt Is my favourite relative.
“aAteja4 ayINOAey ALU H Pa Naren
$1 ‘WeueYg s] owWeU asoyM une AW “y ef name IS bNarall.
“JOO|J UBPOOM au} UI syseLU
apew ey} sjaay YyBiy aiom ays *¢
*92ue1}Ud
JNO yD0|q Pinos Aa} 3eU} OS : ;
Sea sone asjodayy z «=. :‘He@ wore expensive designer clothes.
“WOOIpaq
honmentoeriei eu Gordes He claimed to be struggling financially.
OM ‘s}ed OM} YM BUO|e SAI} | “|
sSJOMSUY

Reading the above sentences, you can see that writing only simple sentences would
result in a choppy style. Also, it would make it difficult to express more complicated
ideas.
You will, therefore, want to learn how to combine sentences. You can do this
by using particular marks of punctuation and special connecting words called
conjunctions. The two major ways of joining sentences together are called
coordination and subordination.

What Is Coordination?

DEFINITION
The pairing of similar elements—words, phrases, or clauses—to give equal weight to each pair
is called coordination. Coordination can link two independent clauses to form a compound
sentence.
Example: |was sick. |went to work anyway.
|was sick, but |went to work anyway.

Combining Sentences Using Coordination

You can use coordination whenever you have two sentences that are related and
that contain ideas of equal importance. There are three ways to combine such
sentences. All three ways result in a new kind of sentence called a compound
sentence. Before you study these three methods, however, it is important to
understand the term independent clause. The independent clause is a group
of words that can be a simple sentence. We can say that a compound sentence
combines simple sentences, or we can say that it combines independent clauses.

54 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Don’t let this term confuse you. Independent means that the words could stand
alone as a sentence, and clause means a group of words that includes a subject and
predicate (what is said about the subject). IC will mean independent clause in the
work that follows. An independent clause is the formal term for a complete thought.
A dependent clause, conversely, is an incomplete thought.

Use a Comma Plus a Coordinating Conjunction

The first way to combine independent clauses (or complete thoughts) is to use a comma plus a
coordinating conjunction. A conjunction is a connecting orjoining word.

22) 6) 8 8h © 8 ¢ 6 8 8 6 8 8 BP 8 eS 8 RR 6 8 8 ON Oe 6 8 8.) 8 6 eS 8S ee 8 eS Oe BO 6 S64 8 ee 8S eS OO

IC ,and IC :
- He spoke forcefully ,and |felt compelled to listen.

Connectors: Coordinating Conjunctions. .. . OBO Pe SE ag rere eta

- To help you remember, spell FANBOYS.
Conjunction Logical use
* For to introduce a reason
‘ And to add an idea
- Nor (negative of‘or”) to add an idea when the first clause is in the negative
But to contrast two opposing ideas
*Or to show a choice
- Yet to contrast two opposing ideas (like but)
- SO to introduce a result

Used in Pairs (correlative conjunctions)

either ... or
neither ... nor
not only ... but also

TIP
Whenever any of the above coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS) is used to separate two
independent clauses, always place a comma before it.

When the sentence is short, the comma before the coordinating conjunction becomes
less necessary, but to be safe, it is wise to leave the comma in every time.

I arrived late, and most people had already finished the exam.

Recognizing the Comma and Coordinating Conjunction

Each of the following compound sentences contains two independent clauses. Draw a
single line under the subject and two lines under the verb of each independent clause.
Then circle both the coordinating conjunction and the comma. An example has been
1
done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices:

The speaker rose to his fee{and) he room became quiet.

NEL Chapter 5 Coordination and Subordination 55

 1. The audience was packed into the room, for this was a man with an international
reputation.
2. He could have told about all his successes, but instead he spoke about his
disappointments.
3. His words were electric, so the crowd was attentive.
4. |should have brought a tape recorder, or at least |should have taken notes.

Did you find a subject and verb for both independent clauses in each sentence?
Now that you understand the structure of a compound sentence, you need to think
about the meanings of the different coordinating conjunctions and how they can be used
to show the relationship between two ideas, with each idea given equal importance.

Combining Sentences Using Coordinating Conjunctions ©

Each ofthe following examples contains two simple sentences. Join each pair of
sentences to form anew compound sentence. Use a comma and one ofthe seven
coordinating conjunctions. Each may have more than one correct answer. Be sure
the conjunction you choose makes sense in the sentence. An example has been
done for you.

Two simple sentences: Many farmers are desperate. They are going bankrupt.
Compound sentence: Many farmers are desperate, for they are going bankrupt.

1. The farmers in Canada want to work.

Some are experiencing severe financial difficulty.

2. Some people are losing their farms.

The banks are refusing to make further loans.

3. Many government programs have not been effective.

The public cannot do anything.
(Use nor. You will have to change the word order in the second sentence.)

4. The farmers feel neglected.

They are protesting against the government.

56 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 5. There is an increased need for farm products.
The government pays farmers not to grow food.

6. Everyone needs what the farmers produce.

We should be concerned about their problems.

7. In the future, fewer people will become farmers.

The problem is likely to become increasingly serious.

Coordinating Conjunctions That Do Not Combine

Two Independent Clauses
Remember that a coordinating conjunction such as and is not always used to
combine two independent clauses. Often, it is used simply to combine two items.
When this is the case, do not place a comma before the coordinating conjunction.

I had bacon and eggs for breakfast.

The word and does not separate two independent clauses, so there is no comma
before it.

I had bacon and eggs for breakfast, and then I had a salad for lunch.

In this sentence, the second and does combine two independent clauses.
Therefore, the comma is required.
The coordinating conjunction but is the exception here. It is sometimes a good
idea to put a comma before but regardless of whether it combines two independent
clauses or not. This is because but is a strong indication of an opposite point of view.
The comma gives the reader a chance to focus on this abrupt shift in thinking.

He is short, but powerful.

He is short, but he exudes a powerful aura.

Use a comma for both situations involving the word but.

Use a Semicolon, an Adverbial Conjunction, and a Comma

TIP
A second way to combine independent clauses (or complete thoughts) is to use a semicolon, an
adverbial conjunction, and a comma.

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 57
 ‘ IC (or complete thought) ; adverbial conjunction, IC (or complete thought)
| had worked hard itherefore, |expected results. @2e¢¢

Adverbial conjunctions (also called conjunctive adverbs) are another set

of connecting words. They have similar meanings to the common coordinating
conjunctions, but give the compound sentence more emphasis. They may also sound
slightly more formal to you than the shorter conjunctions and and but. If an adverbial
conjunction connects two independent clauses, place a semicolon before it. If it does
not, use a comma before it instead.

TIP
Unlike the combination of acomma and a coordinating conjunction, the combination of acomma
and an adverbial conjunction cannot connect two independent clauses.

Incorrect: I had worked hard, therefore, I expected results.

The above is a run-on sentence (see Chapter 7).

Correct: I had worked hard, so I expected results.

Correct: I had worked hard; therefore, I expected results.

Connectors: Common Adverbial Conjunctions. -- +++ +++-++s++«s

Addition (and) Alternative (or) Result (so)
in addition instead accordingly
* also otherwise consequently
- besides hence
:furthermore therefore
* likewise thus
» moreover

Contrast (but) Emphasis Time

:however indeed meanwhile
~ nevertheless in fact
: nonetheless

Recognizing the Semicolon, Adverbial Conjunction, and Comma

The following compound sentences each contain two independent clauses. Draw
a single line under the subject and two lines under the verb of each independent
clause. Then circle the semicolon, adverbial conjunction, and comma. An example has
been done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices’

The jet was the fastest way to get there moreover) it was the most comfortable.

1. The restaurant is always too crowded on Saturdays; nevertheless, it serves the best
food in town.

58 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 2. The land was not for sale; however, the house could be rented.
3. The lawsuit cost the company several million dollars; consequently, the company
went out of business a short time later.
4. The doctor told him to lose weight; furthermore, she insisted he also stop
smoking.

Combining Sentences Using Adverbial Conjunctions

Combine each pair of sentences below to make a compound sentence. Use a

semicolon, an adverbial conjunction, and a comma. Be sure the conjunction you
choose makes sense in the sentence. Each pair of sentences can have more than one
correct answer. An example has been done for you. Check your answers against those
in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.” |

Two simple sentences: Our family would like to purchase a computer. We must
decide which computer best serves our needs.
Compound sentence: Our family would like to purchase a computer; however,
we must decide which computer best serves our needs.

1. People once preferred to write with a pen or pencil.

The computer has now become a favourite writing tool. (Show contrast.)

2. Computers provide a powerful way to create and store pieces of writing.

They make the editing process fast and efficient. (Add an idea.)

3. Computers have revolutionized today’s offices.

No business is without them. (Show result.)

4. Computers have become relatively inexpensive.

Most people own a computer. (Show result.)

5. Many children know more about computers than many adults.

Many children are teaching adults how to operate computers. (Add an idea.)

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 59
 6. Professional writers use the computer all the time to write and edit.
There are still some writers who will use only a ballpoint pen. (Show contrast.)

7. We have many technological aids for writing.

Let us not forget that the source ofall our ideas is the human brain. (Show
contrast.)

Combining Sentences Using Adverbial Conjunctions

To each independent clause below, add the suggested adverbial conjunction and
another independent clause that makes sense. Remember to punctuate correctly. An
example has been done for you.

Adverbial conjunction + Simple sentence: (in fact) |was early for the exam
Compound sentence: |was early for the exam; in fact, |was
able to study for an extra half hour.

1. (however) I'll be at the library for a few hours

2. (therefore) James asked to borrow my notes

3. (otherwise) I’m thinking about taking a part-time job

4. (instead) Marcus is not going home for reading week

5. (in fact) They haven't won a game this year

? é ote
60 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL
 6. (furthermore) Suzie has given up coffee and cigarettes

7. (consequently) My computer keeps crashing

Use a Semicolon

TIP
The third way to combine two independent clauses is to use a semicolon by itself (that is, without
an adverbial conjunction).

Remember, do not capitalize the first word after a semicolon (unless the word is one
that is always spelled with a capital letter).

- IC (or complete thought) 2 IC (or complete thought)

» He arrived at ten ; he left at midnight.
» He arrived at ten : | left at midnight

This third method of combining sentences is used less often. No connecting word
is used. The semicolon takes the place of the conjunction.

Two independent clauses: I used to watch the Toronto Blue Jays play baseball at
Exhibition Stadium. Tonight, I’m going to see them
play at Rogers Centre.
Compound sentence: | used to watch the Toronto Blue Jays play baseball
at Exhibition Stadium; tonight, I’m going to see them
play at Rogers Centre.

The semicolon was used in this example to show that the content of the two clauses is
closely related and, therefore, belongs together in one sentence.
When sentences are combined by using a semicolon, the grammatical structure
of each independent clause is often similar:

Gasoline prices increased; vacations became less frequent.

Both independent clauses above begin with a subject. (See Chapter 8, “Parallel
Structure.”)

Combining Sentences Using the Semicolon

To each ofthe independent clauses below, add another independent clause that
expresses a related idea and has a similar grammatical structure. Join the two clauses
with a semicolon. An example has been done for you.

NEL
Chapter 5 Coordination and Subordination 61
 independent clause: He wrote the speech.
Compound sentence: He wrote the speech; she gave It.

1. The apartment was light and airy.

2. Many students decorate their rooms wonderfully.

3. | plan to learn two foreign languages.

4. |tried to explain.

5. This rain will never stop.

What Is Subordination?
When you use coordination to combine sentences, the ideas in both of the resulting
clauses are given equal weight. However, ideas are not always equally important.
Subordination allows you to show which idea is the main idea.

DEFINITION
Subordination is the method used to combine sentences whose ideas are not equally important.
It is a combination ofan independent clause and a dependent clause.
Example: | stayed home today because | was sick.
independent clause dependent clause

Combining Sentences Using Subordination

When you combine sentences using subordination, you make the more important
idea an independent clause and the less important idea a dependent (subordinate)
clause. The sentence that results is called a complex sentence. Each idea contained
within a complex sentence is called a clause. Various methods of subordination are
discussed next; the method you choose shows the relationship between the main idea
and the secondary one.

62 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 In a complex sentence, the main idea is called the independent clause because
it could stand alone as a simple sentence. The less important idea is called the
dependent clause because, even though it has a subject and a verb, it is dependent
on the rest of the sentence for its meaning. Consider the following clauses:

Independent clause: That girl leaves.

Dependent clause: If that girl leaves

Notice that each clause in the example above has a subject and a verb. (In both
cases, the subject is girl and the verb is leaves.) The difference is that the dependent
clause has an additional word, if, which is an example of a special kind of connecting
word (a subordinating conjunction—see below) that makes the clause “dependent”
on an additional idea. A dependent clause contains a thought that is not complete; it
cannot stand on its own. Here is the same dependent clause presented above but with
an independent clause added to it:

If that girl leaves, the debate team will be short one person.

Now the thought is complete.

In your writing, you will want to be comfortable creating sentences with
dependent clauses. For this, you will need to practise using two kinds of these special
“connecting” words: subordinating conjunctions and relative pronouns.
First, let’s look at subordinating conjunctions.

Use a Subordinating Conjunction to Create a Complex Sentence

Following is a list of the most common subordinating conjunctions. These connecting
words signal the beginning of a dependent clause. It is a good idea to memorize
them, especially for the purpose of preventing fragments (see Chapter 6, “Correcting
Fragments”).

Connectors: Common Subordinating Conjunctions

. after except (that) though
although if,even if unless
; as, as if in order that until
as long as, as though provided that when, whenever
because rather than where, wherever, whereas
before since whether
even though so that while

You might have had teachers in elementary school who told you never to begin a
sentence with because. If so, they might have said this because they were afraid you
wouldn’t finish the sentence.

Incomplete: Because the child was sick

Complete: Because the child was sick, she stayed home yesterday.

With the addition of an independent clause to the dependent clause, the sentence is
now complete.

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 63
 Function of Subordinating Conjunctions. ..--. 22+ eee sees seer neers eeees
* To introduce a condition: if, even if, as long as, provided that, unless

|will go as long as you go with me.

| won't go unless you go with me.

- To introduce a contrast: although, even though, through

|will go even though you won't go with me.

* To introduce a cause: because, since

|will go because the meeting is very important.

To show time: after, before, when, whenever, while, until

|will go whenever you Say.

|won't go until you say it is time.

. To show place: where, wherever

| will go wherever you send me.

To show purpose: in order that, so that

| will go so that |can hear the candidate for myself.

You can choose between two ways of writing the complex sentence. You can
begin with either the dependent clause (DC) or the independent clause (IC).

First way: | DC (incomplete thought) ; IC (complete thought)

Example: © |f Barbara leaves 5 the debate team will be short
one person.

Second way: © jc (complete thought) DC (incomplete thought)

Example: The debate team will be short one person if Barbara leaves.

TIP
Use a comma when you begin a sentence with a dependent clause. Do not use a comma when
the independent clause comes first.

From the above examples you can see that when a sentence begins with an
independent clause, a comma may not always be needed. For example, the comma is
omitted if the dependent clause is essential to the main idea of the speaker.

Practice 4 Recognizing Dependent and Independent Clauses

In the blank to the left of each group of words below, write the letters /Cif the group is
an independent clause (a complete thought) or DC if the group is a dependent clause
(not a complete thought, even though it contains a subject and a verb). Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices”

1. while the photographer was getting ready

2. before the guests arrived

64 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 I've been a bridesmaid for two of my friends
even though we're all in our teens
this one was more fun than most
whenever | see you
Oy. since | did not take the subway
Bl
sey
ass
Maly

Combining Sentences Using Subordination

Combine each pair of sentences below using subordination. Look back at the list
of subordinating conjunctions if you need to. These exercises may have more than
one correct answer. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices.’

1. He was eating breakfast.

The results of the election came over the radio.

2. Simon gave up his plan to launch a tech company.

He felt it was too risky.

3. | will see my teacher tonight.

She is speaking at the university this evening.

4. The designer hoped for a promotion.

Not one person in the department was promoted last year.

5. | love to eat ice cream.

Chocolate cake is better.

Combining Sentences Using Subordination

Below are three pairs of sentences. Combine each pair by using the subordinating
conjunction given. Write each new complex sentence two different ways: first, begin

NEL Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 65

 the sentence with the dependent clause and use a comma; second, begin the
sentence with the independent clause and use a comma only if necessary.

1. (Use since.) Wildlife habitats are being destroyed.

Many species are in danger.

d.

b.

2. (Use after.) He won the wrestling match.

He went out to celebrate.

ae

b.

3. (Use when.) Halyna returned from Europe this spring.

The family was excited.

d.

b.

Combining Sentences Using Subordination

Rewrite the following paragraph using subordination to combine some ofthe

sentences where you feel it would be effective. Be prepared to discuss the reasons
for your choices. You may also want to discuss places where coordination might be a
good choice. More than one correct answer is possible.

Many Canadian communities collect refuse from its source. Waste is delivered
to a waste disposal site. Very little waste is recycled. Very little waste is burned.
Many smaller towns and villages cannot afford a waste collection service or
a proper waste disposal site. Smaller communities are prevalent in Canada.
Improperly operated dumps outnumber the better-operated facilities used by
larger communities. Over the next few years, many of our landfills will close.
They are getting full. Some places in Ontario already truck their trash to the
United States,

66 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Here is a summary so far of how clauses (dependent and independent) can be
combined to form complete sentences.

Remember: IC stands for independent clause (complete

thought).
DC stands for dependent clause (incomplete
thought).

IC , coordinating conjunction IC
HE ; adverbial conjunction, IC
IC 3 IC
DC ; IC
IC DC

Note the absence of any comma when an independent clause comes before a
dependent clause, as in the last row above.

Use a Relative Pronoun to Create a Complex Sentence

Often, two sentences can be combined using a relative pronoun.

Common Relative Pronouns

who Note: “whose” can also refer to things.

whose refers to people Example: They performed a play whose two acts were
» whom only fifteen minutes each.
that

which Note: “that” can also refer to people when a class or type
that refers to things of person is meant.
whose Example:
The teacher | prefer is one that offers help
outside ofclass.

Two simple sentences: The researcher had a breakthrough.

He was studying diabetes.

These sentences are short and choppy. To avoid this choppiness, a writer could join
these two related ideas using a relative pronoun.

Combining sentences
with a relative pronoun: The researcher who was studying diabetes had a
breakthrough.

Now join a third idea to the sentence (use which).

Third idea: He reported the breakthrough to the press.

TIP
Remember to put the relative pronoun directly after the word it refers to.

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 67
 Incorrect: The researcher, which he reported to the press, had a
breakthrough who was studying diabetes.

Correct: The researcher who was studying diabetes had a

breakthrough, which he reported to the press.

The relative pronoun who and its clause who was studying diabetes refers to the
researcher, not to a breakthrough. See more on the relative pronoun who (versus
whom) in Chapter 9, “Pronouns.” The relative pronoun which and its clause which he
reported to the press does refer to a breakthrough, so this clause should follow the
noun breakthrough. (See Chapter 10 for more on modifiers.)

Practice 6 Combining Sentences Using a Relative Pronoun

Combine each pair of sentences below into one complex sentence by using a relative
pronoun. Do not use commas. More than one correct answer is possible for each pair
of sentences. An example has been done for you. Check your answers against those in
Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

That woman created the flower arrangement.

She visited us last weekend.

Combined: That woman who visited us last weekend created the flower
arrangement.

. The chemistry lab is two hours long.

| attend that chemistry lab.

Combined:

. The student assistant is very knowledgeable.

The student assistant is standing by the door.

Combined:

. The equipment was purchased last year.

The equipment will make possible some important new research.

Combined:

How Do You Punctuate a Clause with a Relative Pronoun?

Punctuating relative clauses can be tricky because there are two types of relative
clauses.

68 Unit1 Sentence Skills

 1. One type of relative clause is basic to the meaning of the sentence:

Never eat fruit that hasn’t been washed first.

The basic meaning of the sentence is not “never eat fruit.” The relative clause is
necessary to restrict the meaning. This clause is called a restrictive clause and
does not use commas to set it off. Note: Clauses beginning with the pronoun that are
usually in this category.

2. The other type of relative clause is not basic to the meaning of the sentence:

Kim’s famous salad, which included spinach and almonds, was delicious.

In this sentence, the relative clause is not basic to the main idea. In fact, if the
clause were omitted, the main idea would not be changed. This clause is called a
nonrestrictive clause. Commas are required to indicate that the information is
nonessential. Note: Clauses beginning with the pronoun which are usually in this
category. Remember, the relative pronoun which always refers to things.
Note: While which refers to things in a nonrestrictive clause and that refers
to things in a restrictive clause, the relative pronouns used to refer to people
(who, whom, and whose) are used for both nonrestrictive and restrictive clauses.
Remember, restrictive clauses do not take commas to separate them from the rest of
the sentence, while nonrestrictive clauses do. (For more on commas, see Chapter 11,
“Punctuation.”)

Recognizing Restrictive and Nonrestrictive Clauses

Choose whether or not to insert commas in the sentences below. Two examples have
been done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices”

The man who is wearing the Hawaiian shirt is the bridegroom.

(The relative clause is essential. There are no commas.)

Al, who was wearing a flannel shirt, arrived late to the wedding.
(The relative clause is nonessential. Commas, therefore, are necessary.)

1. Canada's first census which was taken in 1667 showed 3215 non-Indigenous
inhabitants in 668 families.
2. Most of the families who lived near the St. Lawrence River were French Canadians.
3. By the time of Confederation, the population of the country had risen to 3 463 000
which was an increase of 1077 percent over 200 years.
4. If the population of Canada which is about 30 000 000 persons now increases
by a similar percentage over the next 150 or so years, we'll have a population of
280 200 000 by the year 2167.
5. Where do you think we will put everyone who lives in Canada then?

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 69
 Combining Sentences Using Relative Pronouns

Add a clause that begins with a relative pronoun to each ofthe sentences below. Use
each of these possibilities at least once: who, whose, whom, which, that. Be sure to
punctuate correctly. An example has been done for you.

Simple sentence: The leader was barely 1.5 metres tall.

Complex sentence: The leader, who was always self-conscious about her height,
was barely 1.5 metres tall.

1. The figure skaters began their program.

2. The music had a Latin beat.

3. Their first figure was a triple toe loop.

4. The crowd cheered wildly.

5. Even the judges seemed impressed.

6. Her triple Axel was a little ragged.

7. Their coach was thrilled by the final score.

Combining Sentences Using Relative Pronouns

Combine the following pairs of sentences using a relative pronoun. Each example may
have more than one correct answer.

1. Stress can do a great deal of harm.

We experience stress every day.

2. People often use food to help them cope.

Some people work long hours at demanding jobs.

3. The practice of eating to cope with stress is often automatic.

The practice of eating to cope often goes back to childhood.

4. Foods can actually increase tension.

People turn to foods in times of stress.

70 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

NEL
 5. One of the biggest mistakes people make is to use alcohol as an aid to
becoming calm.
Alcohol is really a depressant.

6. People should eat three light meals a day and two small snacks.
People want to feel a sense of calm.

7, Eat a good meal at regular intervals to help reduce stress.

Binge eating puts on kilograms, drains your energy, and increases your stress level.

Chapter Review Exercises

Practice 8 Combining Sentences Using Coordination and Subordination

Look over the following paragraph, which is made up ofsimple sentences. Then
rewrite the paragraph, combining sentences where you think it would improve
the meaning and style. Be creative, and don't be afraid to alter the wording to
accommodate the changes you want to make. Check your answers against those
in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’ (The Answer Key will give you one possible
answer, but there are many ways of revising this passage.)

The wind is strong. The waves are choppy. They are growing larger. |paddle my
kayak harder. My arms are getting tired. The energy is draining from them. They
grow limp and heavy. The other side of the harbour seems distant. The glow of
the setting sun is behind me. It spreads orange and purple fingers across the sky.
A wall of rocks lies offshore. It picks up the last light of the setting sun. It is a silver
beacon. |focus on that wall and paddle harder. The sea smashes against my bow.
It seems to push me away from shore. Flecks of spray hit my face. |taste the salt
on my lips. With that taste of the sea, the beauty of the sea and shore strikes me.
| am distracted from my labour and absorbed by the world around me. My kayak
finally glides past the rocks to the sheltered beach beyond. |am exhilarated and
d exhausted.

_Exercise 8 Combining Sentences Using Coordinating and Adverbial Conjunctions

Combine each pair of sentences below to make a compound sentence. Use

a coordinating, subordinating, or adverbial conjunction, but be sure that the

Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 71

 conjunction clearly shows the relationship between the ideas. There can be more than
one correct answer for each example.

1. For many people, mathematics is a necessary evil.

To a few, mathematics provides a lifetime of challenge and fun.

2. Most Canadians have studied math only to Grade 12.

This limits their ability to understand new scientific developments.

3. Their knowledge extends to little more than basic arithmetic.

People in the seventeenth century knew as much about math as most Canadians
today.

4. Few Canadians study math at the university level.

Many promising mathematics graduates are offered employment in the United
States.

5. Many schools form math teams to compete in area contests.

Other schools encourage interest in math with math clubs.

6. Some schools suffer from a lack of science and math teachers.

Mathematicians can find well-paid employment in industry.

7. \tis important to increase the number of mathematics graduates.

Canadian students may continue to trail behind those of many other countries in
math and science ability.

72 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Combining Sentences with a Subordinating Conjunction or a Relative Pronoun

Combine each ofthe following pairs of sentences using either a subordinating

conjunction or a relative pronoun. Be sure that the word you use makes sense in the
sentence. Each example may have more than one correct answer.

1. People have been fascinated for centuries by the problem of stuttering. Modern
science is only beginning to understand some ofthe underlying causes of the
problem.

2. For some people, stuttering disappears by itself.

For others, stuttering continues into adulthood.

3. Stutterers usually keep their condition.

They seek professional help.

4. It is true that there is some psychological basis for stuttering.

It is true that psychologists have not been able to solve the problem.

5. All kinds of scientists have looked at the problem from all different angles.
There is no single answer to stuttering.

6. Stuttering runs in families.

Children of such families have a greater chance of becoming stutterers.

7. You often hear someone say they know the causes of stuttering.
You know that person cannot be speaking scientifically.

NEL
Chapter5 Coordination and Subordination 73
 Working Together: Practising Coordination
and Subordination

A controversial issue today concerns the wide gap between the wages earned by
people in some professions and the wages earned by people in other professions.
For instance, some sports figures and entertainers earn millions every year. How are
wages determined in our society? How do you think wages should be determined?
Should there be a minimum wage in Canada? Should everybody earn the same
salary? Divide into groups and discuss the subject for fifteen minutes.
Following the general discussion, practise using coordination by writing ten
compound sentences on the subject of wage differences. If you like, you may try to
summarize the ideas of your group. Try to use each of the following ten coordinating
conjunctions to combine two independent clauses:

for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so (FANBOYS)

either/or, neither/nor, not only/but also (correlative conjunctions)

Now, revise each sentence you've written so that the two independent clauses are
combined with a subordinating conjunction instead. Consult the list of subordinating
conjunctions given earlier in the chapter.
After working on these sentences for fifteen minutes, exchange papers with an-
other student and answer the following questions about the sentences on the paper
you have:

1. In each case, has the writer combined two independent clauses?

2. In each sentence, does the coordinating or subordinating conjunction carry the
correct meaning for the sentence?
3. Is the punctuation correct?

74 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Correcting
Fragments

Test yourselfon your knowledge of fragments. Some of the examples below are
complete sentences; some are fragments (only parts of sentences). Write C if the
example is a complete sentence. Write F if the example is a fragment.The answers are
upside down beside the quiz.

1. Whale watching is a popular tourist activity in

British Columbia.
2. Although its effects are being studied.
Whales coping with heavy boat traffic.
The noise from engines can disturb the whales
1

communication.
5. Which may be changing their habitat.

Recognizing and Correcting Sentence Fragments

Once you have learned that a sentence must have a subject and a verb, and that a
sentence must also express a complete thought, you are on your way to correcting
one of the most frequent errors in student writing: the fragment. A fragment is an
incomplete sentence. Although many of our daily conversations are informal and
sometimes contain fragments, standard writing is always more formal and requires
complete sentences.
Although you will occasionally spot incomplete sentences in professional writing,
such as newspaper writing, advertising, novels, and so on, it is hoped that the writer
is using these fragments intentionally. In such cases, the fragment may capture the
way a person thinks or speaks, or it may create a special effect. A student developing
their writing skills should be sure to use only standard sentence form (complete
sentences) so that thoughts will be communicated effectively. Most of the writing you

NEL
75
 will do in your life—papers in school, business correspondence, or reports in your
job—will demand standard sentence form. Fragments will be looked upon as a sign of
poor writing skills rather than an indicator of creative style!
The fragment is a major problem for many student writers. In the writer's mind,
a thought may be clear; however, on paper the idea may turn out to be incomplete,
missing a subject or a verb. In this chapter, you will improve your ability to spot
incomplete sentences (fragments), and you will learn how to correct them. This
practice will prepare you to avoid such fragments in your own writing.
Remember the definition of a sentence:

A complete sentence has a subject and a verb and expresses a complete thought.
Example: The cat drank.

Notice that it is not necessary to know what the cat drank in order for the
sentence to be grammatically complete.

A Typical Casual Conversation

The following conversation is one that a couple of students might have at the start of
their English class.

JOHN: Early again.

LESIA: Want to get a front-row seat.
JOHN: Your homework done?
LESIA: Nearly.
JOHN: Think he'll give a quiz today?
LESIA: Hope not.
JOHN: Looks like rain.
LESIA: Better not. Haven’t got a bag for these new books.
JOHN: Going to the game Saturday?
LESIA: Probably.

Remember, when you write in complete sentences, this writing is likely going
to be quite different from the way you would express the same idea in everyday
conversation with a friend. In the conversation above, not one sentence is complete.
Every line has at least one fragment. If this dialogue were to appear in a novel,
punctuated correctly with quotation marks, it would be perfectly acceptable. But
using fragments in texts that call for standard English form is, quite simply, an
example of poor writing skills.

76 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 What Is a Fragment?

A fragment is a piece of a sentence.

Examples: Which is not what the teacher wanted to hear.
Because the bus was late.
Whereas she was better at math.
Fragments often begin with the relative pronoun which or the subordinating conjunctions
because and whereas.

A group of words is a fragment, not a sentence, if any one of the following is true:

a. The subject is missing.

delivered the plans to my office

b. The verb is missing.

the architect to my office

c. Both the subject and verb are missing.

to my office

d. The group of words is a dependent clause. In other words, a subject and a verb
are present, but the words do not express a complete thought.

when the architect delivered the plans

which the architect identified as her favourite design
because the bus was late
the reason being the bus was late

Sometimes a fragment might look like a complete sentence because it is fairly

long, starts with a capital letter, and ends with a period. Obviously, these criteria are
not enough to identify a complete sentence.

Understanding Fragments

Each group of words in the numbered list below is a fragment. In the blank to the
right of each fragment, write a, b, c, or d to identify what change would make the
fragment into a sentence. An example has been done for you. Check your answers
against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

a. Add a subject.
b. Add a verb.
c. Add a subject and a verb.
d. Add or delete words to express a complete thought. (A subject and a verb are
present, but the group of words is a dependent clause.)

NEL
Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 77
 Fragment Change Needed
the red fox b. Add a verb.
1. returned to the river

a bird on the oak branch

between the island and the mainland

the hawk in a soaring motion

the fishing boats on the lake
dropped like a stone into the water
SS)
We)
gS
Gah
oN
SS because the fisherman put the net away

How Do You Correct a Fragment?

You can eliminate fragments in two ways:

1. Add the missing part or parts to develop the fragment into a complete sentence:
Fragment: along the coastal road
Add: subject and verb
Sentence: He drove along the coastal road.

2. Join the fragment to another sentence. To do this, you may need to make use of
the comma, the colon, or the dash, or you may not need to use punctuation. For
example:
a. Using the comma
Fragment: including a stop at the shoe store
Other sentence: He has to make a number of purchases.
Fragment eliminated: He has to make a number of purchases, including a stop at
the shoe store.
b. Using the colon
Fragment: action, science fiction, and comedy
Other sentence: | like three types of movies.
Fragment eliminated: | like three types of movies: action, science fiction, and
comedy.
c. Using the dash
Fragment: more often than she should
Other sentence: She goes to the casino every day.
Fragment eliminated: She goes to the casino every day—more often than she
should.
d. Using no punctuation
Fragment: on top of the mountain
Other sentence: We planned to plant the flag.
Fragment eliminated: We planned to plant the flag on top of the mountain.

78 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Turning Fragments into Sentences

Change the fragments of Practice 1 into complete sentences by adding the missing
part or parts that you identified. Check your answers against those in Appendix B,
‘Answer Key to Practices” (The Answer Key will give you sample answers, but there are
many ways of correcting these fragments.)

1]. returned to the river

2. a bird on the oak branch

3. between the island and the mainland

4. the hawk, in a soaring motion

5. the fishing boats on the lake

6. dropped like a stone into the water

7. because the fisherman put the net away

Turning Fragments into Sentences

The following groups of words may or may not be fragments. If the group of words
forms a complete sentence, write complete. Otherwise, rewrite it, adding whatever is
necessary to correct the fragment. Check your answers against those in Appendix B,
“Answer Key to Practices” (The Answer Key will give you sample answers, but there are
many ways of correcting these fragments.)

1. As long as it’s a windy day.

2. Into the forest, armed with my camping gear.

ZIts great,

NEL Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 79

 4. Along a deserted and dusty road.

5. Where the deer and the antelope play.

6. The groundhog run over by three different cars.

7. Ajeep has parked.

Turning Fragments into Sentences

Each ofthe following passages contains one or more fragments. First read each
passage. Then locate the fragments in it. Correct the fragments by joining them to
other sentences using a comma, a colon, a dash, or no punctuation. Each passage
may have more than one correct answer.

1. Fishing is one ofthe oldest sports in the world. And can be one of the most
relaxing. Someone with a simple wooden pole and line can have as much fun as a
professional angler. With expensive equipment. For busy executives, overworked
teachers, and even presidents of nations. Fishing can be a good way to escape
from the stress of demanding jobs.
2. The first electric car was built in 1887. Six years later, it was sold commercially. At
the turn of the century, people had great faith in new technology. In fact, 300
electric taxicabs were operating in New York City by 1900. However, electric cars
soon lost their popularity. The new gasoline engine became more widely used.
With our concern about pollution. Perhaps electric cars will become desirable
once again.
3. Most sports evolve over many years. But not basketball. A Canadian-born teacher
invented basketball in December 1891. Working at a YMCA training school in
Massachusetts.
The coach needed an indoor game to keep his students fit over
the winter. Dr. James Naismith created goals. By nailing two peach baskets to the
gym balcony.

Don’t Confuse Phrases with Sentences

Fragments are usually made up of phrases. These phrases are often mistaken for
sentences because they are groups of words. However, they do not fit the definition of
a sentence.

80 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 What Is a Phrase?

A phrase is a group of words that go together but lack one or more of the elements necessary to
be classified as a sentence.
Example: In the barn at the back of the house

In the example above, two prepositional phrases have been put together (see
Prepositional phrase, below). It is another example of a fragment.

How Many Kinds of Phrases Are There?

English has a number of types of phrases that you should learn to recognize. Some of
them you have already studied in the previous chapter. Remember, a phrase is not
a complete sentence; it is a sentence fragment, and as such must be either joined to
another sentence or made into a complete sentence.

1. Noun phrase: a group of words that functions as a noun

Noun phrase: large square bricks

Complete sentence: The garage is built out of large square bricks.

2. Gerund phrase: a type of noun phrase; a group of words beginning with a

gerund (an -ing word that looks like a verb, but functions as a noun)

Gerund phrase: jogging every morning at 6:00

Complete sentence: Jogging every morning at 6:00 is something I cannot
miss.

3. Prepositional phrase: a group of words beginning with a preposition (For a

list of common prepositions, see Chapter 2.)

Prepositional phrase: on the porch

Complete sentence: Many of our neighbours are sitting on the porch.

4. Verb phrase: a group of words that functions as a verb

Verb phrase: is walking

Complete sentence: My best friend is walking to my house.

5. Infinitive phrase: a group of words beginning with an infinitive

Infinitive phrase: to have a good job

Complete sentence: | think it’s important to have a good job.

idgeldii¢s a) — Identifying Phrases

Identify each underlined phrase in the following sentences. Check your answers
against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. To visit Montreal is a thrill for most Canadians.

2. Many people love to see the French culture.

Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 81

 3. Museums, restaurants, shopping, and the varied night life offer endless possibilities
for the tourist.
4. On the subways, tourists experience one ofthe cleanest underground transit
systems in North America.
5. My brother Don rode the subway under the St. Lawrence River.
6. Ahomeowner from the country, he enjoyed the continental atmosphere of
Quebec's largest city.
7. Montreal's continual fascination comes from its rich mix of cultures and lifestyles
from all over the world.

Identifying Phrases

In the following sentences, identify what kind of phrase each numbered group of
underlined words is. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices.’

In Canada,” crime seems to be ie

increasing® atan alarming rate.® 2:

Stories about many major crimes® 3.

can be seen® almost daily

in the 4,

newspapers. © To avoid” the issue De

will not solve the problem. Citizens 6.

should be concerned® and re

try to make their views known® 8.

to their elected officials© 9,

10.

Making a Complete Sentence from a Fragment That

Contains a Verbal

Verbals are words that look like verbs, but that function as nouns, adjectives, or adverbs. There are
three types of verbals: infinitives, participles, and gerunds. All three types of verbals appear in
phrases. These phrases by themselves are not complete sentences. They are fragments.

Infinitive phrases: to kill a mockingbird

to tour the West
Complete sentences: It is a sad thing to kill a mockingbird.
He began to tour the West.

Participial phrases: beaten to a pulp

running like the wind
82 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL
 Complete sentences: I was afraid I would be beaten to a pulp.
Running like the wind, he’s never looked more afraid in
his life.
Gerund phrases: working on the car
sitting on the bench
Complete sentences: Working on the car can wait until she’s finished her supper.
All players hate sitting on the bench.

Participial phrases function as adjectives. Gerund phrases can look like (present)
participial phrases (because both end in -ing), but when they appear in complete
sentences, gerund phrases function as nouns.

TIP
If you have a tendency to include fragments in your writing, avoid starting sentences with the
following words or types of words or constructions. Fragments often begin with them.
People who are inclined to have a problem with fragments seldom complete their sentences
when their sentences start with these constructions:
Because
Fragment: Because he was sick.
Complete sentence: Because he was sick, he was absent from work.
Which
Fragment: Which is why he was absent.
Complete sentence: He was sick, which is why he was absent.
-ing word
Fragment: Jogging in the morning.
Complete sentence: Jogging in the morning is something she loves to do every day.
Fragment:
The reason being the bus was late.
Complete sentence: The reason is the bus was late.
Whether
Fragment: Whether or not school shuts down because of snow.
Complete sentence: Whether or not school shuts down because of snow, the students decided
they would not attend today.
Although, though, even though
Fragment: Although the chocolate cake was cheaper. (A comma is often inserted after “although.
This does not correct the fragment.)
Complete sentence: Although the chocolate cake was cheaper, her father bought the cake with
vanilla ice cream and chocolate swirls.

You can form a sentence from a fragment that contains a participle in any of the
following ways.

Fragment: he talking in his sleep

1. Add a helping verb to the participle:

He is
talking in his sleep.

2. Change the participle to a different form of the verb:

He talks in his sleep.

NEL
Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 83
 3. Use the participle as an adjective, being sure to provide a subject and verb for the
sentence:

Talking
in his sleep, he muttered something about his boss.

4. Use a gerund phrase (which has the same form as the present participle) as a
subject:

Talking in his sleep got him into trouble.

Practice 6 Correcting a Fragment That Contains a Participle

Make four complete sentences from each ofthe following fragments. An example has
been done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices” (The Answer Key will give you sample answers, but there are many ways of
correcting these fragments.)

Fragment: using the back stairway

a. He is using the back stairway.

b. He uses the back stairway.
c. Using the back stairway, he got away without being seen.
d. Using the back stairway is not a good idea.

1. climbing in the Rockies

a.

b.

d.

2. playing video games

a.

b.

&

d.

3. going for a long drive on Tuesdays

d.

b.

84 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

NEL
 Recognizing Fragments

The paragraph below contains fragments. Read the paragraph. Then write complete
after each example that is a complete sentence. Write fragment after each example
that is a phrase or piece ofasentence. Keep in mind that a sentence must have a
subject and verb and express a complete thought. Check your answers against those
in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

That summer, she cycled through the backcountry of southern France.

Discovering early that her bike was ideal. The perfect mode oftransportation.
Because they are cycling fanatics. The French almost always treated her with
respect and kindness. In spite of her halting attempts at the language. They would
shout encouragement. As she puffed up a hill. The server in a café where she
stopped to rest. Urged her to eat more, slipping an extra portion onto her plate.

1. That summer, she cycled through the

backcountry of southern France.
. Discovering early that her bike was ideal.
. The perfect mode oftransportation.
. Because they are cycling fanatics.
SS
Cay
[S). The French almost always treated her
16S)

with respect and kindness.

6. In spite of her halting attempts at the
language.
7. They would shout encouragement.
8. As she puffed up a hill.
9. The server in a café where she stopped
tOWeSE
10. Urged her to eat more, slipping an extra
portion onto her plate.

Practice 8 Editing for Fragments

The paragraph below may contain fragments. Rewrite the paragraph, correcting
any fragments that appear. You may use any method you have learned to make the
corrections, but change the content as little as possible. Circle any changes you have
made. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices” (The
Answer Key will give you one possible answer, but there are many ways to revise this
paragraph.)

The Toronto Raptors won the 2019 NBA Finals. They became the first non-
American team to win the NBA title. And it was great. Kawhi Leonard joined. He
became a superstar for the Toronto Raptors. The last game was a nail-biter. Lots of
anxious people. No one knew. What would happen next. First, the Raptors were
in the lead, then the Golden State Warriors. But they did it! Raptors won. Everyone
celebrated in Canada. Partying with abandon. Craziness. It was a night no one
would forget.

NEL
Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 85
 Correcting a Fragment That Contains a Participle

The following passage includes four fragments containing participles. Circle the
fragments and correct them in one of the four ways shown in Practice 1. More than
one correct answer is possible.

At last taking the driving test. |felt very nervous. My mother was sitting in the back
seat. All my papers sitting on the front seat. The instructor got into the car and sat
on my insurance form. He looked rather sour and barely spoke to me. Trying not
to hit the curb. | parallel parked surprisingly well. |managed to get through all the
manoeuvres. Now tensely waiting for the results.

Chapter Review Exercises

Correcting the Fragment

Rewrite each fragment so that it is a complete sentence. More than one correct
answer is possible.

1. early morning a time of peace in my neighbourhood

2. the grey mist covering up all but the faint outlines of nearby houses

3. the shapes of cars in the streets and driveways

4. to sit and look out the window

5. holding a steaming cup of coffee

6. the only sound the rumbling of a truck

7. passing on the highway a kilometre away

Correcting the Fragment

Revisit the paragraph in Exercise 2, “Correcting a Fragment That Contains a Participle”

Rewrite the paragraph, correcting each fragment you identified in one ofthe
following ways:

86 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 a. Join the phrase to the sentence preceding it.
b. Join the phrase to the sentence that follows it.
c. Add a subject, a verb, or both so that the sentence is complete.

More than one correct answer is possible.

Correcting a Fragment

Each ofthe following passages contains a fragment. Underline the fragment, and
on the lines beneath each passage, rewrite the passage so that it is Composed of
complete sentences. More than one correct answer is possible.

1. The moon rose high in the sky. All of us worked quickly to pitch the tent. Then
making a fire.

Revised passage:

2. Raising the drinking age to 21 improves the safety ofall drivers.

The drinkers and
nondrinkers. Every province and territory should raise the drinking age to 21.

Revised passage:

3. Companies do a great deal of research before they name a new product. Based on
the results of amarket research team. The company makes its final selection.

Revised passage:

4. The day of my eighteenth birthday, the reservations made at a fine restaurant. My

father came home early from work.

Revised passage:

5. In 1930, Clint Benedict of the Montreal Maroons donned professional hockey’s

first face mask. It was a crude leather device intended to protect his broken nose.
During the game, an opponent jammed the mask into Benedict's face. Causing
further injury. Benedict tore off the mask and quit the game forever.

Revised passage:

NEL Chapter6 Correcting Fragments 87

 Working Together: Editing Ad Copy

Read the Pure Michigan (destination brand of the U.S. state of Michigan)
advertisement below. Notice that this advertisement contains several fragments. The
writing we must produce for academic or professional purposes is often very different
from the kind of writing we find in advertisements and other kinds of popular
writing. Why do you think the advertiser would choose to include fragments? Rewrite
the entire advertisement using only complete sentences. In your small group, choose
a representative to read the two versions out loud. Discuss with people in your group
which one is more effective. Why?

Michigan
MEDC/Trave

We go this way to school.

That way to work. One way home.
And before we know it, we get stuck in a routine.

So let's take a left instead of a right.

Instead of the direct route, let's take the scenic route.

To a place where something new and exciting

is waiting for us just around the corner.

Right this way to Pure Michigan.

PURE | ICHIGAN’
Your trip begins at michigan.org

88 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Chapter 7
Correcting
Run-Ons

Test yourself on your knowledge of run-ons. Some ofthe examples below are
complete sentences; some are run-ons (two or more independent clauses
inadequately separated). Write C if the example is correct. Write R if the example is a
run-on. Answers are upside down beside the quiz.

1. Strong competition exists among computer

companies, each carefully guards its new
product designs.
2. Last year, newspapers carried the story of the
great video game design robbery, in fact, it
sounded like a spy movie.
3. Ayoung worker for a California company
wanted money to buy a sports car, so he tried
to sell the secret company designs to an Asian
competitor.
4. The worker thought the designs were safely
hidden on a USB device in an airport locker,
however, the police caught him and recovered
the USB device.
oe
os
5. The company pressed charges, the worker was
tu
-NANmM

given a suspended sentence.

Run-Ons Are Not Long Sentences

Al \l » |
€
C ant Ara CAC

Many people think that a run-on is simply a sentence that runs on and on and on.
This is not the definition of a run-on. Whether a sentence is a run-on or not does
not depend on length. The following is a run-on sentence even though it is quite

NEL
89
 short: I did, he didn’t. A run-on is simply two or more independent clauses without
adequate separation. You can provide this separation in many ways. You must be able
to recognize run-ons in your writing and separate the clauses properly to solve the
problem.

A run-on is two or more complete thoughts without adequate separation. (A comma alone is
NEVER adequate separation between independent clauses.)
Examples: Everyone watched silently as the bus pulled into the school parking lot, then each
person stepped onto the bus in a very orderly fashion.
| came to school, however, |was late.

Both examples in the definition box above are run-ons. In the first sentence,
the word then is used incorrectly as if it were a coordinating conjunction. It is not.
It is not one of the FANBOYS (see Chapter 5, “Coordination and Subordination”).
In the second sentence, the adverbial conjunction however separates two complete
thoughts. It, therefore, requires a semicolon before it, not just a comma.

What Kinds of Run-Ons Are There?

The Different Kinds of Run-On Sentences. ........2..:
1. The fused run-on: two or more independent clauses that run together without any
punctuation

Example: | met Diana again we were happy to see each other.

-2. The comma splice: two or more independent clauses that run together with only a comma

Example: | met Diana again, we were happy to see each other.

(The comma splice is the most common type of run-on sentence.)

. 3. The and run-on: two or more independent clauses that run together with a coordinating
conjunction but no punctuation

>oee
te eeeee ve

As noted, a long sentence is not necessarily a run-on. The following sentence might
be considered long, but it is not a run-on:

I met Diana again, and despite the fact that we hadn’t seen each other in
years, we both felt as if we hadn't parted at all, as strange as that may seem
to everyone.

90 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 How Do You Make a Complete Sentence from a Run-On?
Guide for Correcting Run-Ons
;You have three ways to correct a run-on.

1. Make two simple sentences with end punctuation:

| Example: | met Diana again. We were happy to see each other.

2. Make a compound sentence using one ofthe three methods of coordination:

Examples: | met Diana again, and we were happy to see each other.
| met Diana again; furthermore, we were happy to see each other.
| met Diana again; we were happy to see each other.

(For more on using the semicolon correctly—either with adverbial conjunctions or

alone—see Chapter 5, "Coordination and Subordination”)

3. Make a complex sentence using subordination:

Examples: When | met Diana again, we were happy to see each other.
We were happy to see each other when | met Diana again.

Recognizing and Correcting Run-Ons

The following story is written as one sentence. Rewrite the story, breaking it up so
it has no run-ons. Put a period at the end of each complete thought. You may have
to omit some of the words that loosely connect different ideas, or you may want to
use coordination and subordination (see Chapter 5). Remember to start each new
sentence with a capital letter. More than one correct answer is possible.

My best friend is accident-prone if you knew her you'd know that she's always
limping, having to write with her left hand, or wearing a bandage on her head or
ankle, last week for example, she was walking down the street minding her own
business when a shingle from someone's roof hit her on the head and she had to
go to the emergency department for stitches, then this week one of her fingers is
purple because someone slammed the car door on her hand, in fact, sometimes
|think it might be better if! didn’t spend too much time with her, you know her
bad luck might be catching!

Correcting Run-Ons

Each ofthe following examples is a run-on. Supply four possible ways to correct each
one. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices." Refer
back to the box “Guide for Correcting Run-Ons’
if you need help.

1. Five-year-old Davie asked Grandpa for an iPad for his birthday, he started crying
because Grandpa didn't know what that was.

NEL Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons 91

 Two simple sentences (sentences with a single subject, a verb, and one complete
thought):

eee eee SS ee

Two kinds of compound sentence (two simple sentences connected with

either acomma and a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon and an adverbial
conjunction, or just a semicolon):

b.

Complex sentence (an independent clause and a dependent clause connected

using subordination):

d.

. Many people are opposed to gambling in all its forms, therefore, they will not even
buy a lottery ticket.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

. Hockey may be Canada's national sport, the game can be quite brutal.

Two simple sentences:

a.

92 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

. Many young people manage to travel, they find ways to do it cheaply.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

. The need for a proper diet is important in any health program, however, all the
junk food on the grocery shelves makes it hard to be consistent.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

NEL
Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons 93
 Complex sentence:

d.

Correcting Run-Ons

Each of the following examples is a run-on. Supply four possible ways to revise each
one. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’ Refer
to the box “Guide for Correcting Run-Ons’ifyou need help.

1. The airline has begun its new route to the islands everyone is looking forward to
flying there.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

2. The movie begins at nine oclock, therefore, let's have dinner before the show.

Two simple sentences:

d.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

94 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

3. The studio audience screamed at the contestant, after all, they wanted her to try
for the big prize.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

4, Maya needs new shoes, she is running in the marathon.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

5. My actor friend grabbed my arm, she wanted to tell me about her new part in the
movie.

Two simple sentences:

a.

Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons 95

 Two kinds of compound sentence:

b.

Complex sentence:

d.

Practice 3 Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite the following paragraph, correcting the run-on sentences using any ofthe
methods you have learned. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer
Key to Practices.” (The Answer Key will give you one possible answer, but there are
many ways of revising this passage.)

Mythology is the study of myths and myths are known as the oldest form of
literature and the oldest myths are creation myths. Cultures from around the
world have their own creation myths all of them are amazingly similar despite the
vast geographical distances between these cultures and the fact that there are no
known ways in which communication could have taken place between certain
ones. The details of these myths change from one culture to the next, however,
various themes of the myths remain the same. For example, although characters
(most of the time, but not all of the time) take on new names from one culture to
another, every culture refers to the existence of a creator, also the number of gods
differs from one mythology to another, nevertheless, every mythology has at least
one god or one heroic figure in it. All in all, myths are incredible stories that, in
many cases, have lasted thousands of years no matter where they come from and
what they are about, they bear striking similarities from one culture to another,
and they all share a wisdom about something that never changes: our human
nature.

Practice 4 Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite the following paragraph, correcting the run-on sentences using any ofthe
methods you have learned. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer
Key to Practices.’ (The Answer Key will give you one possible answer, but there are
many ways of revising this passage.)

Sigmund Freud and Carl G. Jung were both psychiatrists, they have had a great
deal of influence on the study of psychology to this day, for example, each was
famous for his own model of the human psyche. In Freud’s model, there are three
main parts, they are the ego, the id, and the superego. In Jung's model, there are

96 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 also three main parts, they are the conscious, the personal unconscious, and the
collective unconscious. Freud (Jung's teacher and subsequent collaborator until
they parted due to a major disagreement in 1912) and Jung both believed that
dreams come from the unconscious part of our psyche (for Freud, this meant the
id and superego), nevertheless, they disagreed a great deal in the area of dream
interpretation.

Chapter Review Exercises

Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite the following paragraph, correcting all run-on sentences. More than one
correct answer is possible.

Commercial farming in Atlantic Canada is concentrated in the dairy, poultry, and

horticultural sectors, the most important crop in the region, particularly in New
Brunswick and Prince Edward Island, is potatoes. In Ontario and Quebec, farming
is highly diversified and includes specialty crops such as soybeans, tobacco, fruit,
and vegetables. In the Prairie region, most of the country’s wheat, oats, barley,
rye, flaxseed, canola, mustard, and sunflowers are grown livestock raising is also
very important in Canada with the majority of ranches being located in the three
Prairie provinces.

Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite the following paragraph, correcting all run-on sentences. More than one
correct answer is possible.

Although the metric system was legalized in Canada in 1871, the British Imperial
system of units, based on yards, pounds, gallons, etc, continued to be used until
the 1960s, with rapidly expanding technology and worldwide trade, the need
for an international measurement system became apparent. Britain decided to
convert to the system the United States was studying a similar move. A number of
Canadian businesses favoured the metric system in January 1970 the government
passed legislation stating that a single, coherent measurement system based on
metric units should be used for measurement purposes in this country.

Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite each of the following run-ons in two different ways using the methods you
have learned. Each example has more than one possible answer.

1. [had to buy a new phone, | gave my old phone to my sister.

ie
i=
i
2. I'm taking guitar lessons, four of us want to start a band.
3. It was hot outside, | wanted to get some exercise.
4. The storm came on suddenly, we were lost.
5. There were no right answers to the questions, we tried to answer them.
6. He is a politician, he serves his community well.

NEL
Chapter 7 Correcting Run-Ons 97
 7. Where is Kanata, |think it’s near Ottawa.
8. When did Canada last win the World Junior Hockey Championship, it was in 2018.
9. Our tour was interesting, four of us became lost in Edmonton.
10. We tried our hardest, the exam was too difficult.

Editing for Run-Ons

Rewrite any run-ons below in at least two ways using any of the methods you have
learned. Ifasentence is already correct, write C beside it.

1. The right answer was not at the end of the chapter, it was at the beginning of the
next one.
2. |was late for school, however, the teacher wasn't in class today.
3. The pizza was cold, then again, it was still good.
4. At the edge ofthe table, the marble slowed down and began to roll the
other way.
5. The time was right, it was now or never.
6. Listening to the radio at dawn, |found myself singing the words to every song.
7. My teacher is dedicated to her profession, furthermore, she's the best teacher I've
ever had.

Working Together: Plot without Run-Ons

Choose a movie or book you have seen or read recently, and retell the plot. In about
twenty minutes, write as much of the story as you can remember. (Be careful to write
only on every other line, separating words clearly, and write neatly so your classmates
can read what you have written.) Exchange papers with a partner and read the paper
to check for run-ons. If you find what you believe to be a run-on, put a mark beside
that sentence, and be ready to read the sentence or put it on the board for class
discussion.

98 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Parallel
Structure

Test yourselfon your knowledge of parallel structure. In each sentence below,

the underlined portion is not parallel with the rest of the sentence. Revise these
underlined groups of words as needed to make the sentences parallel. Answers are
upside down beside the quiz.

1. Steve likes hiking, the movies, and to take afternoon naps.

2. The weather on the East Coast is often wet, windy, and the temperatures are low.

3. His office is without windows, on the fourth floor, and you have to go down a dark
hallway to get there.

Ae de ‘s = 4. Carmelita does her work quickly, accurately, and with cheerfulness.

INjseey> “y
Aemjjey y4ep
e UMOp “¢
pio z 5. The mayor promised lower taxes, less crime, and the number of jobs would be
sdeu uoousoye “| é
‘SJOMSUY higher.

What Is Parallel Structure?

mene He :
Parallel structure is balance in a sentence that contains a list. The list might consist of words,
phrases, or clauses. Balance occurs when all the items in the list are in the same grammatical form:
all nouns, all adjectives, and so on.
Example: Parallel: She chose to go out with him because of the twinkle in his eye, the swagger
in his step, and his love for movies.
Unparallel: She chose to go out with him because of the twinkle in his eye,
swaggering, and he loves movies.

NEL
he)
 In the first example in the definition box, at the heart of each of the three items in the
list is a noun: twinkle, swagger, and love. They are all nouns (with modifiers), so the
sentence is parallel.
In the second sentence, the first item is still a noun, the twinkle in his eye; the
second item is a verbal (a gerund), swaggering; and the third item is an independent
clause starting with the pronoun he (which refers back to the man being talked about
rather than the qualities he possesses). These grammatical forms are all different.
This sentence, therefore, is not parallel.
Which of the following sentences is better balanced?

Her favourite pastimes are reading novels, listening to jazz, and to go to

movies.
Her favourite pastimes are reading novels, listening to jazz, and going to
movies.

If you selected the second sentence, you made the right choice. The second sentence
uses parallel structure (all three items in the list begin with -ing words (gerunds):
reading, listening, and going). By giving each first word of the items in the list the
same -ing structure, you make the sentence easier to understand and more pleasant
to read. Any list of words, phrases, and even clauses should be parallel.

Words in a list should be the same part of speech.

Incorrect: The town was small, quiet, and the atmosphere was peaceful.
(The list is composed of two adjectives and one clause.)

Correct: The town was small, quiet, and peaceful.

(Small, quiet, and peaceful are all adjectives.)

RULE 2
Phrases in a list should be the same kind of phrase (infinitive phrases, prepositional
phrases, verb phrases, noun phrases, participial phrases).

Incorrect: Her lost assignment is in her closet, on the floor, and the clothes are
hiding it.
(two prepositional phrases and one clause)

Correct: Her lost assignment is in her closet, on the floor, and under a pile of
clothes.
(three prepositional phrases beginning with in, on, and under)

RULE3.
Clauses in a list should be parallel.

Incorrect: One clerk polished the antique spoons; they were placed into the
display case by the other clerk.

Correct: One clerk polished the antique spoons; the other clerk placed them
in the display case.

100 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

NEL
 Making Sentences Parallel

Each ofthe following sentences has an underlined word, ohrase, or clause that is not
parallel. Make the underlined section parallel. Each sentence may have more than
one correct answer. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices”

1. My favourite armchair is lumpy, worn out, and has dirt spots everywhere.

2. She enjoys reading novels, studying the flute, and also sews her own clothes.

3. He admires teachers who make the classroom an exciting place and willingly
explaining material more than once.

Making Sentences Parallel

The following sentences all lack parallel structure. In each one, underline the word,
phrase, or clause that is not parallel with the other items in the pair or series and
revise it so that the sentence is balanced. An example has been done for you. Each
sentence may have more than one correct answer. Check your answers against those
in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

Incorrect: The best leather comes from Italy, from Spain, and is imported from
Brazil.

Correct: The best leather comes from Italy, from Spain, and from Brazil.

or: The best leather comes from Italy, Spain, and Brazil.

1. Winter in Edmonton is very windy and has many bitterly cold days.

2. |would prefer to fix an old car than watching television.

NEL Chapter8 Parallel Structure 101

 3. Alex is a talented athlete, a top student, and even generous to her friends.

4. The apartment is crowded and without light.

5. The dancer is slender and moves gracefully.

6. The trees were tall and had a lot of leaves.

7. My friend loves to play chess, to read science fiction, and working out at the gym.

Making Sentences Parallel

Each ofthe following sentences lacks parallel structure. Underline the word, phrase,
or clause that is not parallel, and revise it so that its structure balances with the other
items in the pair or series. Each sentence may have more than one correct answer.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

1. The dog had to choose between jumping over the fence, or he could have dug a
hole underneath it.

2. She was great at swimming, canoeing, and as a rock climber.

3. As | looked down the city street, |could see the soft lights from restaurant
windows, | could hear the mellow sounds of a nightclub band, and carefree
moods of people walking by.

102 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 4. The singers have been on several road tours, have recorded for two record
companies, and they would also like to make a movie someday.

———————————————— i ee eee a

——————————
a eee

5. They would rather order a pizza than eating homemade cooking.

6. |explained to the teacher that my car had broken down, my books had been
stolen, and | left my assignment pad at home.

7. That night the prisoner was sick, discouraged, and filled with loneliness.

To help you with the chapter review exercises, here is a reminder of the rules for
parallel structure.

RULE 1
Words in a list should be the same part of speech.

RULE 2
Phrases in a list should be the same kind of phrase (infinitive phrases, prepositional
phrases, verb phrases, noun phrases, participial phrases).

Clauses in a list should be parallel.

Chapter Review Exercises

Making Sentences Parallel

Each ofthe following sentences has a part that does not work with the rest of the
sentence; therefore, the sentences lack parallel structure. Find the errors and correct
them. Each sentence may have more than one correct answer.

1. Now that he was retired, he started tending to his garden, drank his latte at his
favourite café every day, and a new book project was something he was eager
to launch.

NEL Chapter8 Parallel Structure 103

 2. The dancer was used to eating her banana, stretching for an hour, and then
rehearsal for the next performance kept her busy for the rest ofthe day.

3. The car wasn't in the garage, nobody could find it on the street, and we found out
the police hadn't towed it.

4. After volunteering at a seniors’ residence, doing his chores for his parents, and
once his homework was finished, he had no time left for his girlfriend.

5. He had to put salt on the ice, food in the dog's dish, and he had to make sure that
the driveway was shovelled.

Making Sentences Parallel

Revise each sentence to make it parallel. Each sentence may have more than one
correct answer.

1. Most of the neighbours are friendly, considerate, and they give help.

2. She is charming and has beauty.

3. |enjoy reading, writing, and to conduct laboratory experiments.

4. Either going for a ride or to lie in the sun is my idea of agood time.

104 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 5. She got a new job with a higher salary, increased benefits, and she also works
fewer hours than before. ©

Working Together: Practise Making Sentences Parallel

Read the following passage. Look for sentences that lack parallel structure, and then
write a corrected version of the piece. When you're finished, check your answers with
another student in the group or class, preferably someone with whom you would not
normally sit.

This past summer was awesome! I went to a rock concert, was spending a great
deal of time with my family, and I took a trip to New York City. But nothing tops
my winning the spelling bee championship. What an experience! I practised
hard, I had to study the dictionary, and my discipline was developed. The big
day arrived; I was nervous, sweaty, and I had the shakes all morning. But I knew
I could do it. I spelled word after word, and suddenly, I was in the finals. There
were two other contestants left: Anna and Richard. Anna misspelled a word,
stomped off the stage and was very emotional; she cried. When Richard finally
got a word wrong, I realized that I’d won! I was excited, I did a happy dance to
celebrate and was smiling ear to ear. It was a day I'll never forget.

NEL Chapter8 Parallel Structure 105

 Pronouns

Quiz Test yourselfon your knowledge of pronouns. In each of the following sentences,
choose the correct pronouns. The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

—s Between you and (me, I), the reason |can't go is that | lost my ticket.

N . The person I'm dating is taller than (|, me).

3. (We, Us) students are going to Cancun for the spring break.
S

aM . 4. Would you like to go to a movie with my son and (I, me)?

iG

SAOMSU ‘ 5. (Him, He) and (me, l) spent lots of money on the weekend.

A discussion of pronouns never fails to be interesting because of the potential

controversy surrounding usage. It’s important to understand that our use of language
is continuously evolving. New words are added to the dictionary every year as language
continues to grow. The use of pronouns and the rules around them evolve as well.
Knowing whether to use J, me, or my can stump some writers. Most people acquainted
with a basic knowledge of English grammar know, for example, that it is improper to
say, “Me and him are going downtown.” But not everyone knows that it is also improper
to say, “Between you and I...” (the correct usage is, “Between you and me. ...”).
An example of how language has developed can be seen in the current use of
the singular pronoun they. It was once common to use his or her to denote gender
in writing. For example, “Each student worked on his or her final draft.” However,
the use of the words they, them, and theirs as personal pronouns has become more
prevalent today with people who identify as non-binary. When used as a personal
pronoun, they is considered singular and gender-neutral. In the most recent edition
of the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, the APA
endorses the use of they as a singular third-person pronoun.

106 NEL
 A pronoun is a word that replaces a noun (person, place, or thing).
Examples: Mike forgot his coat at school.
He will need it this weekend.
Note: He replaces Mike, and it replaces coat.

A personal pronoun is a pronoun that refers to the person speaking (/,me, we, us), the person
spoken to (you), or the person(s) spoken about (he, she, it, they, him, her, them).

Pronouns and Case

RULE
The case of a personal pronoun is determined by the function it serves in a sentence.
Pronouns can function as subjects, as objects, or as indicators of ownership (possessive case).

Guide to Pronoun Case

* Pronouns Used Pronouns Used Pronouns Used
. as Subjects as Objects as Possessives Possessive
(Subjective Case) (Objective Case) (Possessives Case) Adjectives
S| me mine my
- You (sing. and pl.) you (sing. and pl.) yours (sing. and pl.) your (sing. and pl.)
he him his his
. she her hers he
“it it its its
who whom whose whose
whoever whomever whosever
we us Ours our
they (pl. and sing.) them (pl. and sing.) theirs (pl. and sing.) their (pl. and sing.)

Use the guide to choose the correct answers in the following examples:

1. (She, Her) is singing at the concert tonight.

2. He bought those tickets for Jan and (I, me).

TIP
When you have a compound subject or object (one with two nouns), it is easier to pick the correct
pronoun if you read the sentence leaving out one of the subjects.
Example: He bought those tickets for (|, me).
(The correct answer to sentence 2 above is more obvious now: me.)

3. He sold (us, we) the best seats in the house.

4. To (who, whom) should I address the letter?
5. Her voice is much stronger than (he, him, his).

Chapter9 Pronouns 107

 In a comparison, it is easier to pick the correct pronoun if you complete the comparison.
Example: Her voice is much stronger than (he, him, his) voice is.
(The correct answer to sentence 5 above is more obvious now: his.)

6. (Who, Whom, Whose) music was left on the piano?

7. Carl is seeing a new man now, one who really loves (he, him).

Possessive adjectives, technically speaking, are not pronouns; they do not replace nouns. They
are adjectives because they modify nouns. The possessive adjective and the noun it modifies
can be replaced by a possessive pronoun.
Example: He returned my book.
He returned mine. ;
(The word my is a possessive adjective. The word mine in the second sentence is a
possessive pronoun. Refer backto the chart “Guide to Pronoun Case’)

Who versus Whom

Who is the subjective form; whom is the objective form. Use who whenever he, she,
they, I, or we could replace who. Likewise, use whom when him, her, them, me, or us
could replace whom. (You might need to mentally rearrange the word order as shown
in parentheses after the following examples.)

1. To whom were you talking? (Were you talking to him?)

TIP
Keep in mind the rule that the subject of the sentence is never part of aprepositional phrase.

In sentence 1 above, to is a preposition. So the objective form of who, which is whom,

must be used after it.
However, the following two examples show the exception to the rule.

2. I get angry when I have to listen to people who talk on cellphones in a movie
theatre. (People talk on cellphones.)
3. The matter of who should pay was not decided. (He, she, or they should pay.)

The rule that a subject never follows a preposition is broken in sentences 2 and 3
because the word who, on the one hand, is the object of a preposition, but is also
a subject (the doer of an action). Choose the subjective form of the relative
pronoun (who or whoever) when it is both an object and a subject ina
sentence.

108 Unit1 Sentence a Skj

Skills NEL
 GIVE ME TWwd
PRONOUNS,

Flanagan/C
Mike

Choosing Correct Pronoun Forms

Circle the correct pronoun in each sentence below.

] atthew and (she, her) presented the project today.

2 . Between you and (I, me), | think it was outstanding.
5 . Their visual materials will h elp (whoever, whomever) will study the project later.
4. Paula is a better speakerth an (they, them).
D Whoever, Wh omever) hea rd them agreed that Paula's presentation was impressive.
6 . (Who, Whom do you thin made the best points?
y am not as deeply involved in my project as (they, them).
8 . Their research was much more detailed than (us, Our, Ours).
9 . The professor gave both Carolyn and (he, him) A‘s.
10 . My partneran d (|, me) will have to work harder to reach this standard.

Choosing Correct Pronoun Forms

Circle the correct pronouns to complete the following paragraph.

When my mother and (|, me) decided to care fo my very ill father at home, some
ofour friends objected. (They, Them) said we would be exhausted and un able to
handle the stress.To (who, whom) could we go for help in the midd e of t Ne night?
y father, (who, whom) we believed would be happier at home, had bee our first
consideration. Of course, we would have benefited if my mother or | me had been
a nurse. However, (we, us) did have a visiting nurse. (They, Them) can ne every day.
We were more confident than our friends that (we, us) could handle the situation.

NEL Chapter9 Pi ONOU 1S 109

 Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement

A pronoun should agree in number (singular or plural) and in gender (masculine,

feminine, or neutral) with any other word to which it refers. However, they can be
used as a gender-neutral, singular pronoun.

The word to which a pronoun refers is known as the antecedent ofthe pronoun. Most errors
in pronoun number agreement occur when a plural pronoun is used to refer to a singular
noun, and vice versa.
Incorrect: The school has their own way of doing things.
Correct: The school has its own way of doing things.

The antecedent in the sentence above is school. Because school is singular and
neutral (neither masculine nor feminine), use its as the pronoun that refers back to it.
The following sentences contain pronoun-antecedent disagreement in
number—in both cases, the pronoun is plural, while its antecedent is singular:

The changed their name last month.

Everyone worked on their final draft.

In the first sentence, the antecedent company is singular in number and neutral in
gender. Therefore, the pronoun (or possessive adjective) referring back to it must be
singular and neutral as well. Here is the corrected version:

The company changed its name last month.

(The possessive adjective its is both singular and neutral. Notice there is no
apostrophe in a possessive adjective.)
In the second sentence, everyone is a singular word (even though it refers to
many people—see the discussion of indefinite pronouns below), but their is
usually a plural pronoun; however, their can be used as a gender-neutral, singular
pronoun. The use of their in such cases is preferable to using his on its own or his or
her. You can also revise the sentence so that the antecedent is plural:

All the students worked on their final drafts.

The use of the words they and their can be confusing; however, it is important to
remember that when in need of a gender-neutral pronoun, they or their can be used.
When referring to something that does not have a gender ascribed to it, they and
their can be used as a plural pronoun.

The companies donated to their favourite charities.

The films at the festival delighted audiences.

110 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

Everyone is an indefinite pronoun. It may look plural, but it is singular. For more
on indefinite pronouns, see Chapter 4, “Subject-Verb Agreement.”
Many other indefinite pronouns are singular, too (any pronoun with -one, -body,
or -thing in it).

Indefinite Pronouns That Are Singular... ......

--one everyone someone anyone noone
-body everybody somebody anybody nobody
»-thing everything something anything nothing
each another either neither

Another problem with pronoun-antecedent agreement in number occurs when a

demonstrative pronoun (this, that, these, those) is used with a noun (such as kind
or type). A demonstrative used this way is technically an adjective, although some
will still call it a pronoun when it is used alone in a sentence such as “This is what I
am talking about.” The demonstrative must agree with the noun it modifies.

Singular: this, that

Incorrect: of shoes hurt my feet.

Correct: of shoe hurts my feet.

Plural: these, those

Incorrect: T e of cars always need oil.

Correct: of cars always need oil.

Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement in Number

Rewrite each ofthe following sentences so that the pronoun agrees with its
antecedent in number.

1. Those type of movies always make me scared.

2. Each ofthe children brought his or her own toys.

3, No one invited us to their homes.

4. \f the birdwatchers hope to see anything, one must get up early.

Chapter9 Pronouns 111

 5. The association sent a memo to all their members about the special meeting.

6. Please pass the tissues; those kind of movies make me cry.

7. These type of shoes are uncool.

RULE2
Pronouns must also agree with their antecedents in person.

“Person” refers to the doer of the action—first person (I); second person (you);
third person (e.g., he, she, it, and they). First-person pronouns highlight the writer
and are suitable for personal writing. Second-person pronouns focus on the reader
and are useful for giving instructions. Third-person pronouns emphasize the topic of
the text and are useful in professional and academic writing.
The following incorrect sentence contains a pronoun-antecedent disagreement
in person:

When mountain climbing, one must maintain your concentration at all

times.

The sentence could be correctly rewritten in a variety of ways, including the

following:

When mountain climbing, one must maintain one’s concentration at all

times.
When mountain climbing, you must maintain your concentration at all
times.
When mountain climbing, I must maintain my concentration at all times.
When mountain climbing, we must maintain our concentration at all
times.

Pronoun-Antecedent Agreement in Person

Rewrite each of the following sentences so that the pronoun agrees with its
antecedent in person.

1. |enjoy math exams because you can show what you know.

112 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 2. When people take geometry, you discover that frequent review of past
assignments helps make the course seem easy.

3. People always need to practise your skills in order not to forget them.

4. When you study for exams, one should not watch television at the same time.

5. Math is a subject we often neglect in school, but later you use it all the time.

Missing, Ambiguous, or Repetitious Pronouns

| RULE
The antecedent of a pronoun should not be missing, ambiguous, or repetitious.

The following is a sentence with a missing antecedent:

Missing antecedent: In British Columbia, they have many challenging hiking

trails.
Possible revision: British Columbia has many challenging hiking trails.

In the first sentence, who is meant by they? If the context has not told us that they
refers to government departments or to tourist companies, for instance, then the
antecedent is missing. The sentence should be rewritten to avoid they.
In the next sentence, the antecedent is ambiguous.

Ambiguous antecedent: Margaret told Lin that she needed to earn $1000 during
the summer.
Possible revision: Margaret said that Lin needed to earn $1000 during the
summer.

In the first example, she could refer to either Margaret or Lin. The sentence should be
revised in a way that avoids this confusion.
The next example illustrates a repetitious antecedent.

Repetitious pronoun
and antecedent: The newspaper article, it said that Earth Day, which
started in 1970, re-established humankind’s commitment
to the earth.

Chapter9 Pronouns 113

 Possible revision: The newspaper article said that Earth Day, which started
in 1970, re-established humankind’s commitment to the
earth.

The subject should be either article or, if there is already an antecedent, it. Using
both the noun and the pronoun results in needless repetition.

Sentences with Proper Antecedents

Each ofthe following sentences features a missing, ambiguous, or repetitious

antecedent. Revise the sentences as necessary to correct their use of pronouns. Each
sentence may have more than one correct answer.

1. The biologist asked the director to bring back his microscope.

N . In the report, it says that the number of science and engineering students seeking
doctoral degrees has fallen considerably since the mid-sixties.

3. At the laboratory, they said the research had run into serious difficulties.

IN. The testing equipment was accidentally dropped into the aquarium, and it was
badly damaged.

Nn . You can't believe anything they say in that newspaper.

Chapter Review Exercises

Making Pronouns and Antecedents Agree

Each ofthe following sentences contains an error in pronoun use. Revise each
sentence so that all pronouns agree with their antecedents and there are no missing
or ambiguous antecedents. Each sentence may have more than one correct answer.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices”

114 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 1. His father mailed him his high school yearbook.

2. The government introduced their new policy.

3. When a company fails to update its equipment, they often pay a price in the long
run.

4, The graduate today has many more options open to him than ever before.

5. Everybody knows his or her own strengths best.

6. The girls, they went to the movies and had a good time.

7. If the campers want to eat quickly, each one should help themselves.

Making Pronouns and Antecedents Agree

Read the following sentences carefully, watching for errors with pronouns. Revise
the sentences as necessary so that pronouns agree with their antecedents and there
are no missing or ambiguous antecedents. Each sentence may have more than one
correct answer. If a sentence is correct, simply write C.

1. The manager told Karen she was responsible for the mix-up in orders.

NEL
Chapter9 Pronouns 115
 2. The county submitted their proposal for the bridge repairs.

3. We rushed away from the trees to our cars because you had to wait for the
thunderstorm to stop.

4. Ayoung person does not receive enough advice on how they should choose
their career.

5. These type of watches are very popular.

6. People were taken forcibly from our homes.

7. No one ate his lunch in the cafeteria.

Working Together: Practise with Pronouns

Pair up with someone else in the class, preferably someone with whom you do not
normally sit. Together, come up with ten sentences, each with at least three pronouns
in it G@ncluding possessive adjectives). Each of the three pronouns should be in
a different case: subjective, objective, and possessive. Come up with at least one
sentence that is of a type that often has incorrect pronoun-antecedent agreement, and
at least one with potential for pronoun ambiguity. Between the two of you, make sure
all pronouns are correct. If you disagree on any, give your partner an explanation as
to why you think yours is correct. Here is an example of a sentence that complies:

Jacquie and I are faster than they, so they have to not only pay our way to the
festival, but also give us spending money once we're there.

I, they, they, we: subjective case

our: possessive adjective
us: objective case

116 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Modifiers:
_ Misplaced and
Dangling

Test your knowledge of dangling and misplaced modifiers by selecting the correct
sentence in each pair below. The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

1. a. Sweeping the dust in the attic, the dead bugs numbered in the thousands.
b. Sweeping the dust in the attic, | noticed that the dead bugs numbered in the
thousands.

2. a. Reduce speed when wet.

b. Reduce speed when roads are wet.

3. a. While shaving in the bathroom, Grant accidentally cut his ear with his razor.
b. While shaving in the bathroom, the razor cut Grant's ear.

4. a. Tomake a good impression on your employer, ensure you have a neat and
clean appearance.
b. To make a good impression on your employer, a neat and clean appearance is
advisable.

5. a. Though old and shoddy, Uncle Jake made the room in the back of the house
look new again.
b. Though the room in the back of the house was old and shoddy, Uncle Jake
made it look new again.

NEL 117
 What Are Modifiers?

Modifiers are words or groups of words that function as adjectives or adverbs.

Example: Coming back from his vacation, Tanya's father was eager to give his daughter the gift.
(The modifier coming back from his vacation describes Tanya's father.)

Modifiers describe or modify other words in the sentence. If a modifier is put in the
wrong place or in an ambiguous or awkward place in the sentence, the meaning will
be unclear. If the modifier has no word at all to modify, the result might be confusing
or even unintentionally humorous (as in sentence 2a in the quiz).

RULE 2
A modifier must be placed close to the word, phrase, or clause it modifies so that
the reader can understand the intended meaning.

This chapter shows how to solve two types of modifier problems—misplaced

modifiers and dangling modifiers—to make the intended meaning clear. Study the
examples carefully. Once you are able to recognize these problems in the exercises
that follow, you will begin to recognize them in your own writing as well.

What Are Misplaced Modifiers?

A misplaced modifier is a modifier that is in a wrong, ambiguous, or awkward position in the

sentence.
Examples: While eating his cat food, Johnny stepped on his kitten’s tail.
(Because of the location of the modifier [in italics], it looks like Johnny is eating
cat food.)
Scurrying around with long and hairy legs, Sylvia tried to kill the spiders.
(Because ofthe location of the modifier [in italics], it looks like Sylvia is scurrying
around with long and hairy legs.)

There are three types of misplaced modifiers:

1. The modifier in the wrong place

Wrong: The salesperson sold the used car to the customer that needed
extensive bodywork.

Who or what needs bodywork—the car or the customer?

Revised: The salesperson sold the customer the used car that needed
extensive bodywork.

The following was found in a personals ad:

If you are tired of meeting the wrong people like me, please leave me a
message.

118 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Does this make sense? If the person who made up the ad is an example of “wrong
people,” why would anyone respond? Perhaps what the person meant was this:

If you, like me, are tired of meeting the wrong people, please leave me a
message.

Be especially careful to put each of the following words closest to the word,
phrase, or clause it modifies.

Common Modifiers. ....».....

» almost exactly just nearly scarcely

"even hardly merely only simply

Notice how the meaning of each of the following sentences changes with the
placement of the modifier only.

Only Charlene telephoned my brother yesterday.

Charlene only telephoned my brother yesterday.
Charlene telephoned only my brother yesterday.
Charlene telephoned my only brother yesterday.
Charlene telephoned my brother only yesterday.

2. The awkward modifier that interrupts the flow of the sentence

Awkward: Cheryl planned to only call my sister.

The adverb only could be better placed so that it would not split the infinitive
to call.

Revised: Chery] planned to call only my sister.

3. The “squinting modifier’—a modifier placed ambiguously so that it could

describe a word or words on either side of it

Squinting: Anyone who can write clearly should have a blog.

Is the meaning here that only people who write clearly should have blogs, or that
anyone who can write at all should, clearly, have a blog?

Revised: If you can write clearly, you should have a blog.

What Are Dangling Modifiers?

DEFINITION ae
A dangling modifier is a modifier in a sentence that has no word, phrase, or clause that the
modifier can describe.
Example: Riding the bicycle, the countryside seemed different.

In the above example, it sounds like the countryside is riding the bicycle. Riding the
bicycle is the dangling modifier. It has nothing in the sentence to modify.

NEL
Chapter 10 Modifiers: Misplaced and Dangling 119
 Dangling: Working on the engine of the car, the dog barked all afternoon.

Who worked on the engine? Was it the dog?

Revised: Working on the engine of the car, I heard the dog barking all
afternoon.
Or: The dog barked all afternoon while I was working on the engine

of the car.

Chapter Review Exercises

Revising Misplaced or Dangling Modifiers

Revise each sentence to correct a misplaced or dangling modifier. Each sentence may
have more than one correct answer. Check your answers against those in Appendix B,
“Answer Key to Practices.’

1. Victor fed the dog wearing his tuxedo.

2. Visiting the Vancouver Aquarium, the otters entertained us.

3. The toddler that ate her breakfast cheerily started singing.

4. A band was playing in the park that we had heard earlier.

5. After running over the hill, the farm was visible in the valley below.

6. The truck caused a traffic jam, which was broken down on the highway, for
kilometres.

7, Hanging from the ceiling in my bedroom, | saw three spiders.

120 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

Revising Misplaced or Dangling Modifiers

Revise each sentence so there is no misplaced or dangling modifier. Each sentence

may have more than one correct answer.

1. Leaping upstream, we fished most ofthe day for salmon.

2. At the age often, my family took a trip to Fredericton.

3. Skimming every chapter, my biology textbook suddenly made more sense.

4. Waiting at the airport, every minute seemed endless.

5. Working extra hours last week, my salary increased dramatically.

6. We watched a movie in the theatre for which we had paid five dollars.

7. Dressed as Tinkerbell, he thought she looked charming.

Working Together: Modifiers Making the Difference

Form groups of four or five. Look back at the box of common modifiers earlier in this
chapter. As a group, pick one modifier and create a sentence that includes it. Then
move the modifier to as many different positions as possible while making sure the
sentence still makes sense. (See the example of five sentences using the modifier only
below the box of common modifiers in “What Are Misplaced Modifiers?”) Then, figure
out exactly what each sentence means based on the location of the modifier. Discuss
what these changes in meaning suggest about the importance of word placement.

Chapter 10 Modifiers: Misplaced and Dangling 121

 Punctuation

Test yourselfon your knowledge of commas. In each ofthe following sentences, place
commas wherever they should go. The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

1. White-collar criminals dishonest company executives are being exposed in

growing numbers.

2. White-collar criminals are found in industrial plants government offices and banks.

3. For example manufacturers have been caught cheating the government and well-
known banks have been caught laundering money.

‘JAAIMOH 'S 4. Inthe past white-collar criminals have not been prosecuted very vigorously by
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the law.
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5. However some executives are now being given jail sentences for their white-collar
isdaMSUY crimes.

Correct Punctuation: A Strong Indicator

of a Writer’s Competence
Many people put commas in “where it feels right.” Sometimes their feelings are
absolutely correct, but sometimes they’re not. Others use the dash when they are
not sure what other punctuation mark to use. Like most aspects of writing, correct
punctuation is a strong indicator of a writer’s competence. Periods, commas,
colons, semicolons, dashes, hyphens, quotation marks—all these tiny marks have
incredible power over the meaning and ultimate effectiveness of the words and
messages they accompany.

122 NEL
 The Eight Basic Rules of the Comma
Many students feel very uncertain about when to use the comma. The starting point
is to concentrate on a few basic rules. These rules will cover most of your needs.
The tendency now in English is to use fewer commas than in the past. There
is no one perfect set of rules on which everyone agrees. However, if you learn the
eight basic rules explained in this chapter, your common sense will help you figure
out what to do in other cases. Remember that a comma usually signifies a pause
in a sentence. As you read a sentence out loud, listen to where you pause. This is
often your clue that a comma is needed. Notice that in each of the examples for the
following eight rules, you can pause where the comma is placed.

RULE 1
Use a comma to separate parallel words, phrases, and clauses in a list.

The sky was cloudy, grey, and ominous.

I was dreaming of running in the race, finishing among the top ten, and
collapsing happily on the ground.

With respect to Rule 1, note the following points:

e A list means three or more items.

« Some writers omit the comma before the and that introduces the last item.

The sky was cloudy, grey and ominous.

However, more and more writers are choosing to use the Oxford comma, a
comma that may go into a list before the and separating the second last and last
items in the list. The reason for this comma is to avoid confusion that might lead to
misunderstandings.

She loved her parents, Bruce Willis and Big Bird.

She loved her parents, Bruce Willis, and Big Bird.

In the first sentence above, without the use of the Oxford comma, the reader
might assume the female’s parents are Bruce Willis and Big Bird. In the second
sentence, with the use of the Oxford comma, her parents are clearly just one of the
three items in the list.

» When an address or date occurs in a sentence, each part (except the month
alone) is treated as a separate item in a list. A comma follows each item even if
there are only two items (as in the second example below):

I lived at 14 Tartan Avenue, Halifax, Nova Scotia, for many years.

He was born on August 17, 1980, on the same street where his father was born.

» Acomma does not follow the last item in a list unless that last item is part of an
address or a date.
- Agroup of adjectives is not a list if some of the words work together. You can test
this by putting and between the items. If you can’t use and, then don’t use commas.

NEL
Chapter 11 Punctuation 123
 eFflake

‘I'm sorry, but refusing to use an Oxford

comma isn’t really grounds for divorce.”
Emily Flake/New Yorker Cartoons

I carried my coat.
In the yard was a tree.
I rode in his sports
new red car.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each of the following sentences, insert commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

ds Problems with the water supply of Canada the United States Europe and other
parts of the world are growing.
2. Water is colourless tasteless odourless and free of calories.
3. You will use on an average day 90 litres of water for flushing 120 litres for bathing
and washing clothes and 95 litres for other uses.
. It took 450 litres of water to create the eggs you ate for breakfast 13 250 litres to
obtain the steak you might eat-for d inner and over 200 000 litres to produce the
steel used to make your Car.
. The English-Wabigoon river system uns through Grand Narrows Ontario and has
become polluted with mercury.

Sentence Skills NEL

 Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction that joins two independent clauses
(complete thoughts). (See Chapter 5, “Coordination and Subordination.”)

The house was on fire, but I was determined not to leave my place of safety.
The bees are dying, and one theory is that microwaves from cellphones are
killing them.

With respect to Rule 2, note the following points:

* Be careful to use the comma before the conjunction only when you are combining
independent clauses. If you are combining only words or phrases, no comma is used.

The weather was hot and dry.

He grabbed the ball and sent it flying.
Larry was neither at third base nor at home plate.

» When clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction are short and closely

connected, the comma is often omitted.

Let’s sit down and I'll dish out the food.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.

1. The most overused bodies of water are our rivers but they continue to serve us daily.
2. Canadian cities often developed next to rivers and industries followed soon after
in the same locations.
3. The people ofthe industrial age can try to clean the water they use or they can
watch pollution take over.
4. The Great Lakes are showing signs of renewal yet the struggle against pollution in
them must continue.
5. Most people have not been educated about the dangerous state of our water
supply nor are all our members of Parliament fully aware of the problem.

Use a comma to follow introductory material—words, expressions, phrases, or

clauses that come before independent clauses (complete thoughts).

The following are examples of introductory material:

A. Introductory words (such as yes, no, oh, well)

Oh, I never thought he would do it.

B. Introductory expressions (transitions such as as a matter of fact, finally,

secondly, furthermore, consequently). A list of common transitions appears on
the inside back cover of this book.

Therefore, I will give you a second chance.

NEL
Chapter 11 =Punctuation 125
 C. Introductory phrases. The comma signals the end of the introductory group of
words and the beginning of the sentence proper.

Prepositional phrase: At the beginning of the course, I thought I would

never be able to do the work.
At night, I like to watch the stars.
In 2001, a moderate earthquake hit the West Coast.
Participial phrase: Walking on tiptoe, the young mother quietly peeked
into the nursery.
Verbal phrase: By walking daily, I lost weight. (gerund)
Confident of her skills, she entered the contest.
(participle)
To be honest, I don’t like it. (infinitive)

D. Introductory dependent clauses beginning with a subordinating conjunction (See

Chapter 5, “Coordination and Subordination.”)

When the food arrived, we all grabbed for it.

insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

1. A total solar eclipse when the moon's shadow blots out the sun completely is an
outstanding cosmic event.
2. Once you see your first solar eclipse you start looking forward to the next one.
3. However witnessing this spectacle takes planning and the ability to travel to the
best viewing spots.
4. |n eastern Turkey on August 11 1999 a crowd of astronomers and “eclipse chasers”
watched the last total eclipse of the millennium.
5. At the moment of totality people cheered clapped and even cried.

RULE 4 : 2 .
Use commas to surround words, phrases, or clauses whenever they interrupt the
main idea.

Note the following examples of Rule 4:

A. Interrupting word

We will, however, take an X-ray.

B. Interrupting phrase
Prepositional phrase: I wanted, of course, to stay.
Appositive phrase: Ann, the girl with the red hair, has a wonderful
sense of humour.

126 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 C. Interrupting clause

He won't, I think, try that again.

Words, phrases, or clauses that interrupt the main idea of a sentence can be
restrictive or nonrestrictive.
A restrictive word, phrase, or clause is essential to the meaning of the sentence
and is not set off by commas from the rest of the sentence.

The man with the red hat is my father.

Foods such as ice cream and soft drinks are not very good for you.

The phrase with the red hat is essential to specifically identify the man with the
red hat; otherwise, any number of unidentified men could be the father. Likewise,
in the second sentence above, “such as ice cream and soft drinks” is essential to
specifically identify these two foods as unhealthy; otherwise, it would sound like all
foods are unhealthy.

Author Timothy Findley said it takes failure to become a great writer.

Likewise, the name Timothy Findley is essential to the meaning of the sentence above.
A nonrestrictive word, phrase, or clause is not essential to the meaning of
the sentence and is set off by commas from the rest of the sentence. (See more on
nonrestrictive and restrictive clauses in Chapter 5.)

Ann, who has red hair, has a wonderful sense of humour.

In school, he learned about several types of trees, such as spruce and maple.

TIP
Some words can have more than one grammatical function.

She came to the dance; however, she didn’t stay long.

In the last sentence, however is used to combine independent clauses and therefore
requires a semicolon before it.

She did, however, have a good time.

In this sentence, however interrupts the main idea and therefore requires a comma
before it and a comma after it (comma Rule 4).

TIP -
Some clauses can be used in different ways.

Ann, who has red hair, has a wonderful sense of humour.

In this sentence, who has red hair interrupts the main idea of the sentence. It is
a nonrestrictive clause, so commas are used. The nonrestrictive clause is not
essential to the meaning of the sentence.

The girl who has red hair is my sister Ann.

The clause who has red hair is used to identify “the girl.” This restrictive clause
does not interrupt the main idea but is necessary to and part of the main idea.
Therefore, no commas are used.

NEL
Chapter 11 = Punctuation 127
 Practice 4 Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

1. Natural disasters | believe have not been historically significant.

2. They have however significantly affected the lives of many Canadians.
3. Canada's worst coal mine disaster at Hillcrest, Alberta occurred on June 19 1914.
4. In Springhill, Nova Scotia furthermore 424 persons were killed in the mines
between 1881 and 1969.
5. Avalanches, storms, and floods which are natural disasters have also made their
marks on the face of our country.
RULE5 : Le : :
Use commas to surround a noun in direct address.

Ali, can you help me with this problem?

I wonder, Michaela, if you really know what you're doing.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert Commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. Honey | hope you're not planning to wear that hat.

2. |wonder Samir if the game has been cancelled.
3. Dad could | borrow five dollars?
4. Can you help me Doctor?
5. Ayesha is that you?
RULE6 7 oe .
Use a comma in numbers of 1,000 or larger in some styles.

1,999
1,999,999,999

Note that in the metric system of measurement, spaces are used instead of commas,
and numbers of four digits need not be separated. This practice is becoming more
widespread in Canada.

4000 or 4 000
38 622

Use a comma to set off exact words spoken in dialogue.

“The pen,” she said, “is mightier than the sword.”

The comma, as well as the period, is always placed inside the second quotation
mark, as shown in the sentence above.

128 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

Practice 6 Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas wherever they are necessary. Check
your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

1. “I'm innocent”he cried ‘of all charges against me”

2. He mumbled“! won't incriminate myself"
3. “| was told"the defendant explained “to answer every question”
4. “This court” the judge announced “will be adjourned’
5. “The jury" said Al Tarvin of The Star “was handpicked”

RULES
Use a comma where it is necessary to prevent a misunderstanding.

Before eating, the cat prowled through the barn.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

1. Kicking the child was carried off to bed.

2. To Maria Suzuki was the boss from hell.
3. When you can come and visit us.
4, Whoever that is is going to be surprised.
5. Skin cancer seldom kills doctors say.

Review this summary of the rules for comma usage. Then try the exercises that follow.

The Eight Basic Rules of the Comma

RULE 1: Use a comma to separate parallel words, phrases, and clauses in a list.
RULE 2: Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction that joins two independent
clauses (complete thoughts). (See Chapter 5, “Coordination and Subordination.’)
RULE 3: Use a comma to follow introductory words, expressions, phrases, or clauses that
come before independent clauses (complete thoughts).
RULE 4: Use commas to surround words, phrases, or clauses whenever they interrupt the
main idea.
RULE 5: Use commas to surround nouns in direct address.
RULE 6: Use a comma in numbers of 1,000 or larger in some styles (this practice is
decreasing in Canada).
RULE 7: Use a comma to set off exact words spoken in dialogue.
RULE 8: Use a comma where it is necessary to prevent a misunderstanding.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each ofthe following sentences, insert commas where they are needed.

1. Fog-water collection is a relatively simple way to supply water to certain areas

where water is scarce or polluted.
2. The collectors with screens made of a fine polypropylene mesh look like big
volleyball nets.

Chapter 11 =Punctuation 129

 OO _ Tiny water droplets which are blown sideways by the wind hit the screen and run
down into a trough.
In El Tofo Chile eighty-eight fog collectors supply clean water to the fishing village
of Chungungo.
. The El Tofo system on a high coastal ridge is the largest project so far.
Amazingly these collectors channel 13 000 litres of water per day to the village.
. Once almost a ghost town Chungungo now boasts homes with running water
NO
and lush gardens.

Insert Necessary Commas

In each of the following sentences, insert commas where they are needed.

—\ . The first games known as the British Empire Games attracted 400 competitors
from eleven countries.
. The Commonwealth Games were first held in Hamilton Ontario in 1930.
RO). By 1978 during the Commonwealth Games in Edmonton nearly 1500 athletes
Oo)

from forty-one countries competed.

Canada has been a leading supporter of these games which are held every four years.
aes
. Memorable performances by both Canadian and non-Canadian athletes have
become a hallmark of the games.
OV. In Edmonton Canadian athletes won forty-five gold thirty-one silver and thirty-

three bronze medals in 1978.

N . Next to the Olympics the Commonwealth Games are one of the world’s best
international competitions.

Other Marks of Punctuation

The Apostrophe
The apostrophe has three uses:

1. To show possession
2. To create a contraction

3. To avoid confusion

To form the possessive, add ’s or just an apostrophe.

With respect to Rule 1, note the following points and examples.

A: Add ’s to singular nouns:

the pen of the teacher = the teacher’s pen

the strategy of the boss = the boss’s strategy

Be careful to choose the right noun to make possessive. Always ask yourself who or
what possesses something. In the phrases above, the teacher possesses the pen and
the boss possesses the strategy.

130 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 I'm sorry, but shouldn't there be
an apostrophe in that?
Nigel-Sutherland/Cartoonstock

TIP
As a rule, nouns that are inanimate things should not be in the possessive. Use a phrase with
of instead.

Examples: the leg of the table (NOT the table’s leg)

the smell of the sewer (NOT the sewer’s smell)
the noise of the cars (NOT the cars’ noise)

In common expressions that refer to time and measurements and in phrases

suggesting personification, possessives are generally acceptable:
a stone’s throw
two weeks’ vacation
New Year’s resolution
winter’s final blast

NEL Chapter 11 Punctuation 131

 Note these unusual possessives:

Hyphenated words: mother-in-law’s advice

Joint possession: Rita and Ashley’s television special
Individual possession: John’s and Steve's ideas

B. Add ’s to irregular plural nouns that do not end in -s.

the hats of the children = the children’s hats

the harness for the oxen = the oxen’s harness

C. Add ’s to indefinite pronouns:

everyone’s responsibility
somebody’s wallet

Indefinite Pronouns ..-.:.20ce2cscessceeees Jshinemserena pallets Gaede Wietwla oeee

* anyone everyone noone someone

* anybody everybody nobody somebody
. anything everything nothing something
e eeecoew eve ene eoeoeoevre eeooroe eG FoF HDF HHS HHBERHE EoOS O ooo
6 6 @ eeose2e8 290 oeseoe

TIP
Possessive pronouns in English (his, hers, its, ours, yours, theirs, whose) do not use an apostrophe.

Whose phone is this?

The phone is his.
The car is theirs.

D. Add only an apostrophe to regular plural nouns ending in -s.

the nests of the hornets = the hornets’ nests

the store of the brothers = the brothers’ store

TIP
A few singular nouns ending in the s or zsound are awkward-sounding if another s sound is added.
You may, in some cases, drop the final -s. Let your ear help you make the decision, and be consistent
with your choice

Mr. Jones’ car or Mr. Jones’s car

RULE2
To show where letters have been omitted in contractions, use an apostrophe.

cannot (or can not) = can’t

should not = shouldn’t
will not = won’t (the only contraction that changes its spelling)
Iam =I’m
she will = she'll
it is/it has = it’s

132 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 Note: The possessive adjective its (meaning “belonging to it”) does not take an
apostrophe.

The dog buried its bone.

To prevent confusion when forming certain plurals, use ’s.

Numbers: 100’s
Letters: a’s andb’s
Years: 1800's or 1800s
Abbreviations: Ph.D.’s
Words referred to in text: He uses too many and’s in his writing.

Do not use the apostrophe to form plurals in any situations other than these.
Here is a reminder of the uses and rules of the apostrophe:

The Three Rules of the Apostrophe «+ +--+ -see+ecccssecseccsescvssvceens os

* RULE 1: To form the possessive, add ‘s or just an apostrophe. ;
- RULE 2: To show where letters have been omitted in contractions, use an apostrophe.

e268 © ° oer eos es eoeoev eee

Practice 8 Using the Apostrophe

Fill in each blank below using the rules you have just studied for uses of the apostrophe.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. shirts for boys ee ae er 11155

2. the house of them a > OUSE
3. the bakery of Grandpa Moses ae bakery
4. the house of Antony and Maria (joint possession) _____________ house
5. the idea of nobody eS ides
6. The book belongs to him. The book is
7. in the century of 1700 in the
8. It is their choice. ___theiechoice
9. the nightlife of Vancouver SS ightlite
. 10. the dress of Wendy ee LoS

Practice 9 Using the Apostrophe

Fill in each blank below using the rules you have just studied for uses of the apostrophe.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. the voice of Don Cherry voice

2. the flight of the geese the flight
3. the jackets of Carol and Tess (individual
possession) jackets

NEL Chapter 11 =Punctuation 133

 4, the CD of somebody a OE
5. The drums belong to her. The drums are
6. the terrible year of two the terrible
7. cannot leave yet. Were leave yer:

Using the Apostrophe

Fill in each blank below using the rules you have just studied for uses of the apostrophe.

the ice cream of Ben and Jerry ice cream

the spirit of the class the spirit
the centre for women the centre
the wish of everybody wish
The ideas belong to them. The ideas are
The student mixes up band a. The student mixes up his
|will not leave this house. | leave this house.
the revenue of the company news revenue
the paw of the dog Ti@rees
os = = ayy
—IN the
yee
ON
AC
ERO
SN policies of Ridge School and Orchard
School (individual possession) policies

Quotation Marks
Use quotation marks as follows:

RULE1
Use quotation marks for a direct quotation (a speaker’s exact words).

“Please,” he begged, “don’t go away.”

Do not use quotation marks for an indirect quotation (one person’s idea put into
someone else’s words):

He begged her to stay.

RULE 2 :
Use quotation marks for material copied word for word from a source.

According to Statistics Canada, “Families or individuals spending 58.5

percent or more of their pre-tax income on food, clothing, and shelter are in
financial difficulty.”

Use quotation marks for titles of shorter works, such as short stories, one-act plays,
poems, articles in magazines and newspapers, songs, essays, and chapters of books.

“A Modest Proposal,” an essay by Jonathan Swift, is a masterpiece of satire.

Mavis Gallant wrote the short story “In Youth Is Pleasure” in 1975.

134 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 Titles of longer works, such as novels, full-length plays, and names of magazines or newspapers, are
underlined when handwritten. In word-processed or published texts, these titles appear in italics:
Maclean's magazine, Country Living.

RULE 4
Use quotation marks for words used in a special way.

“Duckie” is a term of affection used by the British, the way Canadians would
use the word “honey.”

Here is a summary of rules for quotation mark usage:

The Four Basic Rules of Quotation Marks -- +++ -22+++> SRF hn en ny 6 orin la siaialless
- RULE 1: Use quotation marks for a direct quotation.
RULE 2: Use quotation marks for material copied word for word from a source. :
. RULE 3: Use quotation marks for titles of shorter works, such as short stories, one-act plays, -
- poems, articles in magazines and newspapers, songs, essays, and chapters of books.
;RULE 4: Use quotation marks for words used in a special way.
eee@ @

Practice 10 Insert Necessary Quotation Marks

In each of the following sentences, insert quotation marks where they are needed.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.

1. The Hot House is one ofthe stories contained in Rosemary Sullivan's More Stories
by Canadian Women.
2. Nellie McClung said I'll never believe I’m dead until | see it in the papers.
3. The prime minister told his caucus that they would have to settle the problem in
the next few days.
4. To diss is a slang term meaning to show disrespect.
5. She read the article Whiz Kids in The Review,

lfthe above five sentences were handwritten, which words would have to be underlined?

The Semicolon
Use the semicolon as follows:

RULE 1
Use a semicolon to join two independent clauses (or complete thoughts) whose
ideas and sentence structures are related.

He decided to consult the map; she decided to ask the next pedestrian she saw.

RULE 2
Use a semicolon to combine two sentences using an adverbial conjunction.

He decided to consult the map; however, she decided to ask the next
pedestrian she saw.

NEL
Chapter 11 =Punctuation 135
 Use a semicolon to separate items in a list when the items themselves contain commas.

[had lunch with Linda, my best friend; Mrs. Zhangi, my English teacher; and
Jan, my sister-in-law.

Notice in the last example that if only commas had been used, the reader might think
six people had gone to lunch.

Using Semicolons

In each ofthe following sentences, insert a semicolon where one is needed. Check
your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices."

1. One of the best ways to remember a vacation is to take numerous photos one of
the best ways to recall the contents of a book is to take notes.
2. The problem of street crime must be solved, otherwise, the number of vigilantes
will increase.
3. The meal was composed of bruschetta, an appetizer, roast duck, the house
specialty, and lemon mousse, a tart dessert.
4. The bank president was very cordial, however, he would not approve the loan.
5. New methods of production are being used in the factories of Japan eventually
they will be common in this country as well.

The Colon
Use the colon as follows:

Use a colon after a complete thought (or independent clause) when the material
that follows is a list, an illustration, or an explanation.

A. Alist

Please order the following items: five dozen pencils, twenty rulers, and five
rolls of tape.

Notice that no colon is used (such as after are) when there is not a complete
sentence before the colon:

The courses I am taking this semester are English Composition, Introduction

to Psychology, Art Appreciation, and Survey of Canadian Literature.

B. An illustration or explanation

She was an exceptional child: at seven, she was performing on the concert stage.

RULE2
Use a colon following the salutation of a business letter.

To whom it may concern:

Dear Madam President:

136 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

wee
 Use a colon between the hours and the minutes when telling time.

We will eat at 5:15.

Use a colon between the title and subtitle of a book, article, essay, and so on.

Plain English, Please: A Rhetoric

“Hemingway: His Foreshadowed Suicide”

Using Colons

In each ofthe following sentences, insert colons where they are needed. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

1. These Canadian-born comedians have achieved great success in the United States
Jim Carrey and Mike Myers.
The official has one major flaw in his personality greed.
3. The restaurant has lovely homemade desserts such as German chocolate layer
cake and baked Alaska.
4. The college offers four courses in English literature Romantic Poetry, Shakespeare's
Plays, The British Short Story, and The Modern Novel.
5. Arriving at 615 in the morning, Marlene brought me a sausage-and-cheese pizza,
some ginger ale, and a litre of ice cream.

The Hyphen
Use the hyphen as follows:

Use a hyphen with two or more words that go together before the noun to act as one
adjective.

I am a second-year student.
She is a well-known actor.

TIP
If the group of words that describes the noun comes after the noun, do not use a hyphen.

The actor is well known.

TIP
lf the group of words contains an ufadverb, do not Toe

The dimly lit diner closed every night at eleven.

RULE 2
Use a hyphen at the and ofa line to divide a word between syllables.

Make sure you divide the word at the right place. Check a dictionary if you're not
sure. Otherwise, avoid splitting words altogether. Never split a one-syllable word.

NEL
Chapter 11 = Punctuation 13 ™N
 When Farah saw her girlfriend kissing another
woman, she walked away from her for good.

Hyphens are used in some compound words.

Other compound words are not hyphenated. There is no rule to determine which
is which. Use a dictionary to make the right decision. Where there is disagreement
between dictionaries, pick one spelling and be consistent in your own writing.
The following are word spellings upon which all dictionaries agree:

father-in-law hairbrush
trade-in stepmother

Use hyphens with two-word numbers from twenty-one to ninety-nine.

thirty-seven
seventy-three

Use hyphens in words that contain the prefixes self, ex, and all; prefixes that are fol-
lowed by proper nouns; and the suffix elect.

self-respect, self-confidence
ex-husband, ex-police officer
all-Canadian cast
anti-Catholic
Inserting Hyphens Where Necessary

In each of the following sentences, insert a hyphen where it is necessary.

. The students in third year weren't in class today, but all the second year students were.
. Kelly loved her baseball glove despite its war torn appearance.
. The all American company of actors were excited to come to Canada.
. He lost his self confidence after someone made fun of him.
= . The widely acclaimed impressionist painter received a standing ovation before he
MB
WN

accepted his thirty two thousand dollar cheque.

6. Julia's forty four year old ex boyfriend returned all thirty three records he had
borrowed when she was enrolled in her postgraduate university program.
7. Faisal bought the all purpose cleaner that his mother in law recommended after
she saw it on TV.

The Dash and Parentheses

Like the comma, both the dash and parentheses can be used to show an interruption of
the main idea. The particular form you choose depends on the degree of interruption.

Use the dash for a less formal and more emphatic interruption of the main idea.

138 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 He came—I thought—by car.
She arrived—and I know this for a fact—in a pink Cadillac.
I could see you this weekend—for example, Saturday.

RULE 2
Use a dash before such words as all, these, and they when these words summarize a
preceding list of details.

Periods, commas, colons, semicolons, dashes, hyphens, and quotation

marks—all these tiny marks among words have incredible power over
the meaning and ultimate effectiveness of the words or sentences in
which they appear.

RULE3
Use parentheses to insert extra information that some readers might want to know but
that is not essential to the main idea. Information within parentheses is de-emphasized.

Timothy Findley (1930-2002) wrote The Wars.

Plea-bargaining (see p. 28) was developed to expedite court verdicts.

Using Dashes or Parentheses

In each of the following sentences, insert dashes or parentheses where they are
needed. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. Herbert Simon is and | don't think this is an exaggeration a genius.

2. George Eliot her real name was Mary Ann Evans wrote Silas Marner.
3. You should in fact | insist see a doctor.
4, Health Canada's website has suggestions to help smokers quit visit
www.infotobacco.com.
. Mass media television, radio, movies, magazines, and newspapers are able to
Nn

transmit information over a wide range and to a large number of people.

Chapter Review Exercises

Practice 14 Punctuation Overview

Insert any necessary punctuation into the following sentences. Check your answers
against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices"

1. To measure crime, sociologists have used three different techniques official

statistics, victimization surveys, and self-report studies.
2. David is one of the best loved poems of Earle Birney.
3. That show uses one thing | hate a laugh track.
4. Farley Mowat wrote numerous books for adults however, he also wrote very
popular books for children.
5. Tuberculosis also known as consumption has been nearly eliminated by medical
science.
6. The Victorian period 1837-1901 saw a rapid expansion in industry.

NEL
Chapter 11 =Punctuation 139
 Punctuation Overview

Insert any necessary punctuation into the following sentences. Check your answers
against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

. Some young people have two feelings about science and technology awe and
fear.
_ Mr. Doyle the realtor Mrs. Tong the bank officer and Ivan Petroff the lawyer are the
three people to help work out the real-estate transaction.
_ The book was entitled English Literature The Victorian Age.
. My computer, she said, has been crashing all day.
_ She brought a bathing suit, a towel, sunglasses, and several books to the beach.
2s
(nh
yy . The meeting to discuss a pay increase I'll believe it when | see it has been
(ee)

rescheduled for Friday.

. The complex lab experiment has these two major problems too many difficult
calculations and too many variables.

Editing for Correct Punctuation

Read the paragraph below, then insert the following punctuation marks into it where
they are needed:

. commas to separate items in a series

. comma with a coordinating conjunction to combine two complete thoughts
comma after an introductory word, phrase, or clause
. commas around words that interrupt the main idea
. comma to set off sooken words
parentheses
. quotation marks
a _ line under the title of a full-length work of
Mey
Sy
Cr
-@y
CL
= art
semicolon
ee apostrophe

Tom Thomson 1877-1917 is often remembered as the artist of Canada’s North.

He was born on August 4 1877 near Leith Ontario. During the twenties Thomson
apprenticed as a machinist enrolled in business college then he spent a few years
in Seattle working as an engraver. In 1906 he took art lessons and first used oil
paint. His first important painting done in 1917 and titled A Northern Lake was
sold for $250 a great deal of money in those days. Thomson led the vanguard of
anew movement in Canadian art. One reviewer said Thomson paints a world of
phenomena of colour and of form which will not be touched by another artist.
Thomson drowned at Canoe Lake Algonquin Park July 8 1917. Among his many
works are Hot Summer Moonlight, Autumn’s Garland and The Jack Pine.

Editing for Correct Punctuation

Read the paragraph below, then insert the following punctuation marks into it where
they are needed:

140 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 . commas to separate items in a series
. comma with a coordinating conjunction to combine two complete thoughts
. comma after an introductory word, phrase, or clause
. commas around words that interrupt the main idea
. comma in a number of1,000 or larger
parentheses
. quotation marks
Ow
Ss
=,
a). line under the title ofa full-length work ofart
(©)
@@m
Os

semicolon
j. colon
k. apostrophe

Albert Schweitzer was a brilliant German philosopher physician musician

clergyman missionary and writer on theology. Early in his career he based
his philosophy on what he called reverence for life. He felt a deep sense of
obligation to serve humanity. His accomplishments as a humanitarian were great
consequently he was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1952. Before Schweitzer
was thirty he had won an international reputation as a writer on theology as an
organist and authority on organ building as an interpreter of the works of Johann
Sebastian Bach and as an authority on Bachs life. When he became inspired to
become a medical missionary he studied medicine at the university in Strasbourg
Germany. He began his work in French Equatorial Africa now called Gabon in 1913
where his first consulting room was a chicken coop. Over the years he built a large
hospital where thousands of Africans were treated yearly. He used his $33 000
Nobel Prize money to expand the hospital then he set up a leper colony in fact he
even designed all the buildings. One of Schweitzers many famous books which
you might like to find in the library is entitled Out of My Life and Thought. His
accomplishments were so many music medicine scholarship theology and service
to humanity.

Working Together: Designing Punctuation Tests

Work with a group of your classmates. Together, make up an exam to test the other
students’ knowledge of punctuation. From any book, choose a paragraph that uses
a variety of punctuation. Have one person from the group carefully write out or type
the paragraph without its punctuation. Then make enough copies so a group or the
entire class can take the test. Is your test a fair one? Is it too easy or too hard? Does it
cover the material studied in this chapter?

NEL Chapter 11 Punctuation 141

 Test yourselfon your knowledge of capitalization. Correct any errors of capitalization in
the following sentences.
The answers are upside down beside the quiz.

1. lam hoping to go to the University in British Columbia in the fall, but if |can't, I'll
have more money to spend at christmas.

2. My Doctor's appointment this afternoon is with doctor Shari Mohammed.

3. The pacific ocean is beautiful at Sunset.

4. |told the umpire, “you don't know the rules of baseball any more than grandma
ulely ‘Salydoy ‘| S does!"
PLUPURID ‘NOA °v
yasuns ‘UearoQ DyIDeg {3
(4g 40) 10}90q ‘s,10}30p ° (4 5. Sam and i have travelled through the rockies by Train three times now, for they are
SeWIYSIIYD ‘AYISIAAIUN *L
*SABMSU Vv absolutely breathtaking.

Many students are confused or careless about the use of capital letters. Sometimes they
capitalize words without thinking, or they capitalize words they feel are “important”
words without understanding what makes a word important enough to deserve a capital
letter. The question of when to capitalize words becomes easier to answer when you
study the following rules and carefully apply them to your own writing.

Ten Basic Rules for Capitalization

Capitalize the first word of every sentence.

Capitalize the names of specific things and places.

142 NEL
 Specific buildings

I went to the J emretOn Post Office.

but

I went to the post office.

Specific streets, cities, provinces and territories, states, countries

She lives on Elam Avenue.

but

She lives on the same street as my mom and dad.

Specific organizations

He collected money for the Canadian Cancer Society.

but

Janice joined more than one club at the school.

Specific institutions

The loan is from the Royal Bank of Canada.

but

The loan is from one of the banks in town.

Specific bodies of water

My uncle fishes every summer on Lake Winnipeg.

but

My uncle spends every summer at the lake.

RULE 3
Capitalize days of the week, months of the year, and holidays. Do not capitalize the
names of seasons.

The second Monday in October is Thanksgiving Day.

but

I cannot wait until spring.

RULE 4
Capitalize the names of all languages, nationalities, races, religions, deities, and
sacred terms.

My friend who is Ethiopian speaks very little English.

The Qur’an is the sacred book of Islam.

NEL
Chapter 12 =Capitalization 143
 Ina title, capitalize the first word, the last word, and every other word except articles,
prepositions, and coordinating conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so—FANBOYS).

“Recognizing Subjects and Verbs” and “Revising and Editing” are chapters in the
textbook The Canadian Writer’s Workplace.

Capitalize the first word of a direct quotation.

The teacher said, “You have been chosen for the part.”

but

“You have been chosen,” she said, “for the part.”

Note: for is not capitalized in the second sentence because it is not the beginning of
the sentence being quoted.

RULE 7
Capitalize historical events, periods, and documents.

the Rebellion of 1837

the Great Depression
the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms

RULE 8 :
Capitalize the words north, south, east, and west when they are used as places
rather than as directions.

He comes from the East.

but

The farm is about forty kilometres west of Weyburn.

RULE 9
Capitalize people’s names.

Proper names

George Hendrickson

Professional titles when they immediately precede the person’s proper

name
Judge Samuelson but the judge
Professor Shapiro but the professor

Do not capitalize a title if it follows the name:

George Shapiro, professor of English

Sentence Skills 2 m=
 Term for a relative (like mother, sister, nephew, uncle) when it is used in
the place of the proper name

I told Grandfather I would meet him later.

Notice that terms for relatives are not capitalized if a pronoun, an article, or an
adjective is used with the name:

I told my grandfather I would meet him later.

RULE10—_tws
Capitalize brand names.

Band-Aid
Kleenex

Band-Aid and Kleenex are product names and therefore are proper nouns.
Here is a summary of these rules:

Ten Rules for Capitalization. ,

- RULE 1: Capitalize the first word of every sentence.
RULE 2: Capitalize the names of specific things and places.
RULE 3: Capitalize days of the week, months of the year, and holidays. Do not capitalize
-_ the names of seasons.
RULE 4: Capitalize the names of all languages, nationalities, races, religions, deities, and .
sacred terms.
RULE 5: In a title, capitalize the first word, the last word, and every other word except
articles, prepositions, and coordinating conjunctions (FANBOYS).
RULE 6: Capitalize the first word of a direct quotation.
RULE 7: Capitalize historical events, periods, and documents.
- RULE 8: Capitalize the words north, south, east, and west when they are used as places
rather than as directions.
RULE 9: Capitalize people’s names.
RULE 10: Capitalize brand names.

Chapter Review Exercises

Capitalization

In the following sentences, capitalize where it is necessary. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. The italian student got a job in the school cafeteria.

2. Our train ride through the canadian rockies was fabulous.
3. The author often made references in his writing to names from the bible.
4. Astudent at the university ofalberta was chosen for the national award.
5. My uncle's children always have a party on halloween.
6. |met the president of bell canada last friday at a convention in winnipeg, manitoba.
7. The cobalt-60 cancer therapy unit was invented by a canadian, dr. donald green.

NEL
Chapter12 Capitalization 145
 8, My niece said, “why don’t you consider moving farther south if you hate the winter
so much?"
9. The canadian auto workers voted not to go on strike over the new contract.
10, The book women ofthe klondike tells the story of the late-1890s gold rush in the
north.

Capitalization

In the following sentences, capitalize where it is necessary and put into lower case any
capital letters that are incorrect.

— . Some people think the Cabot trail on Cape Breton island is the most spectacular
drive on the North American Continent.
_ I'm taking five courses right now, but math 101 is my favourite.
N . |love the Text called Canadian Writer's workplace; I've already read twenty of its
OW

thirty-two Chapters.
aS Morris C. Shumiatcher is a Lawyer and Civil Rights Sookesperson who graduated
from the University Of Calgary.
Nn. George Orwell wrote the novel nineteen eighty-four about a Government that

punishes its people for thinking certain thoughts.

6. Born in Mumbia, India, Writer Rohinton Mistry was raised in that City’s Parsi
Community.
eS The black honda accord and the white ford escape have collided at the
Intersection of Chapel street and Bakersville avenue.
8. “| feel your pain,’ wrote rabbi Wittstein of Temple Israel of london to the muslim
community, ‘And offer you whatever understanding, sympathy, and anger |
possess”
so Roman Polanski won an oscar for best director in 2002, but was unable to receive
the award in person because if he had entered the United States, he would have
been arrested for statutory rape.
10. Socrates was a greek teacher who is considered one ofthe founders of western
philosophy.

Working Together: Designing Capitalization Tests

Work with a group of your classmates to make up an exam to test the other students’
knowledge of capitalization. From any book, choose a paragraph that uses a variety
of capitalization. Have one person from the group carefully write out or type the
paragraph without any capitalization. Then make enough copies so a group or the
entire class can take the test. Is your test a fair one? Is it too easy or too hard? Does it
cover the material studied in this chapter?

146 Unit 1 Sentence Skills

 Chapter 13
Unit | Review:
Using All You
Have Learned

In this chapter of review practices and exercises, you have the opportunity to test
yourself on the material in Unit I. Revisit any point of grammar that you know
you need to work on a little more. If, for example, you find that you haven’t quite
understood how to use a semicolon correctly, then it would be a good idea to revisit
Chapter 5 (“Coordination and Subordination”), Chapter 7 (“Correcting Run-Ons”),
and Chapter 11 (“Punctuation”). If you can’t find what you’re looking for right away,
consult the index at the back of the book.

Editing Sentences for Errors

In the following exercises, you will find all the types of grammatical and mechanical
problems that you have studied so far:
fragments unparallel structure incorrect capitalization
run-ons incorrect punctuation misplaced and dangling
incorrect pronouns subject-verb disagreement modifiers

Identifying Parts of Speech

Read the following paragraphs taken from Rosemary Ellen Guiley’s book Dreamwork
for the Soul. |dentify the part of speech (as specifically as you can) for each underlined
word. Feel free to refer back to Chapter 1 (“Parts of Speech: Overview”) for help. The
index at the back of the textbook can help for easy reference. Check your answers
against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’The first one has been done for
you (see below).

(Carl G.) Jung's dreams! were a constant? source of? creativity and? inspiration
to him?. Dreams inspired® his study of archaeology and mythology, and later
alchemy. Throughout’ his life, as he developed his® ideas, Jung was” aided and

NEL 147
 guided by dreams. When! he searched for answers to questions, dreams often"!
led him in the! right!? direction. ...
Three days before he died, Jung had" the last of his visionary dreams and a
portent of his own impending! death. In the dream, he had become'® whole. A!”
significant symbol was tree roots interlaced with gold, the alchemical symbol!® of
completion...
The story of Jung's life can be properly'? understood only”? from his inner
experiences.
The experiences ofthe outer?! world were pale and thin by
comparison for?? him. He?? said he could’4 understand himself only in the light
of his inner happenings.”°

Answer: 1. dreams: common noun

Editing Sentences for Errors

The following sentences contain various types oferrors studied in Unit |. If you think
a sentence is complete and correct, mark it with a C. If it has an error, correct it (you
may need to add, delete, or change words, punctuation, and capitalization). Each
sentence may have more than one correct answer. Check your answers against those
in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”An example has been done for you.

Incorrect: A group of Roma people who now live in Ireland.

Correct: A group of Roma people now live in Ireland.
or
A group of Roma pecple, who now live in Ireland, make their living by
repairing pots and pans.

1. Roma (formerly known as Gypsies or Romany Gypsies) now living in many

countries of the world.

2. The international community of scientists agree that these Roma originally came
from India thousands of years ago.

3. After the original Roma people left India they went to Persia there they divided
into groups.

4. One branch of Roma went West to Europe the other group decided to go East.

148 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 5. In the middle ages (476-1453), some Roma people lived in a fertile area of Greece
called little egypt.

6. Roma often found it hard to gain acceptance in many countries because oftheir
wandering lifestyle.

7. Today Roma families may be found from Canada to Chile living much as his
ancestors did thousands of years ago.

Editing Sentences for Errors

The following sentences contain sentence errors studied in Unit |. If you think a
sentence is complete and correct, mark it with a C. If it has an error, correct it. Each
sentence may have more than one correct answer. An example has been done for
you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

Incorrect: Science fiction writers have imagined magic rays that can destroy
entire cities, but in recent years a magic ray in the form of laser beams
have become scientific fact.
Correct: Science fiction writers have imagined magic rays that can destroy
entire cities, but in recent years a magic ray in the form of laser beams
has become scientific fact.

1. The laser beam a miracle of modern science already has many practical uses in
today’s world.

2. Laser beams are narrow, highly concentrated beams of light that burns brighter
than the light of the sun.

3. Scientists have found many possible military uses for the laser, but they are
hoping it can be converted into constructive uses.

NEL Chapter 13 Unit | Review: Using All You Have Learned 149
 4. John Polanyi, Canadian winner ofthe 1986 Nobel Prize for chemistry, conducted
early experiments on the use of lasers.

5. The possibility of making a laser was first described in 1958 and two years later in
California the first laser beam was created.

6. Since they are so precise, laser beams are used in medicine to help make a specific
diagnosis and to perform operations such as repairing delicate retinas and the
removal of cancerous tumours.

7. The future uses ofthe laser seems endless, and it is up to us to decide whether we
want to use this invention for war or for peaceful purposes.

Editing Sentences for Errors

The following sentences contain sentence errors studied in Unit |. If asentence has an
error or errors, correct it. More than one correct answer is possible for each sentence.
If you think a sentence is complete and correct, mark it with a C An example has
been done for you.

Incorrect: Frostbite an injury to the skin and underlying tissues is a serious danger
in very cold weather.
Correct: Frostbite, an injury to the skin and underlying tissues, is a serious
danger in very cold weather.
commas added around a phrase that interrupts the main idea)

1. Acommon threat to outdoor adventurers frostbite can strike anyone who is not
adequately protected against the cold.

2. Risk factors are ofthree types exposure, faulty judgment, and underlying medical
conditions.

150 Unit 1 Sentence Skills NEL

 3. Ice crystals in the skin possibly starting to form at -6°C.

4. Symptoms offrostbite includes: cold numbness and a feeling of clumsiness or

heaviness in the affected part of the body.

5. The first thing to do is find a warm shelter and remove any wet clothing.

6. Prevention measures includes wearing proper clothing, educating yourself about

weather conditions, and awareness of risk factors.

7. Frostbite injury which gets worse with time should be treated immediately.

Making Sentence Parts Work Together

In each ofthe following sentences, one part does not work with the rest of the sentence.
Find the error and correct it. Each sentence may have more than one correct answer.

1. Two Statistics Canada studies, which have been reported recently on the CBC
television network, links stress and obesity now with health problems later in life.

2. Suffering from stress and obesity, the researchers found that Canadians will
probably suffer major health problems as soon as six years later.

3. People who suffer from stress and obesity become a perfect candidate for health
problems such as arthritis and rheumatism, chronic bronchitis or emphysema,
and stomach or intestinal ulcers.

NEL Chapter 13. Unit | Review: Using All You Have Learned 151
 _ One study shows that for men, diseases also include heart disease, and for a
woman, asthma and migraine.

_ According to one of the studies, stress in men appeared to be worse where

economic issues are concerned: job loss, demotions and taking pay cuts, for
example.

_ An obese adult's chance of suffering from arthritis is 60 percent higher than an

adult who is not obese.

. They say stress goes down with age and up in low-income people.

Editing Paragraphs for Errors

Exercise 3 Making Sentence Parts Work Together

Read the following paragraph, looking for errors in agreement, for lack of parallel
structure, and for misplaced or dangling modifiers. Rewrite a corrected version. More
than one correct answer is possible.

Cowboys became important in the United States after the American Civil War
who lived on large ranches in Texas, Montana, and other western states. Canada,
too, had its cowboys working on ranches on the prairies. One of the traditional
names for cowboys are “cowpokes’” although they prefer to be called “cowhands.”
The equipment for cowboys came into use because of his many practical needs.
The wide-brimmed cowboy hat served as a bucket to hold water, as a sort of wh ip
to drive cattle, and waving to otther cowboys a few hills away. Cowboys began
to wear tight trousers because they did not want loose pants to catch in bushes
as they chased cattle. The rope is a cowboy’s most important tool since they use
it to catch cattle, pull wagons, tie up equipment, and even killing snakes. The
famous roundup, which takes place twice a year, are important because cattle
are separated, classified, and selected for market. When cowboys get together for
such a roundup, they often hold a rodeo as a celebration. Rodeos give cowboys
opportunities to compete in riding bareback, wrestling steer, and to rope calves.
The Calgary Stampede is the moder result of these rodeos.

152 Unit1 Sentence Skills

Editing Paragraphs for Errors

Correct all the punctuation and grammatical errors in the following paragraph. More
than one correct answer is possible.

Once upon a time whenever | tried to make my writing interesting and

imaginative with all sorts of similes and metaphors and colourful language
|forgot about my grammar and spelling my essays were full of sentence
fragments comma splices and run-ons moreover my syntax was always
scrambled even | had trouble figuring out what | had intended to say originally
although | could tell that |had started with brilliant ideas help has finally arrived
however since | have done all the exercises in my grammar book | now have
perfect command of English grammar whereas one time | bit my nails when |
handed in an assignment | worry no more no longer do | need to worry about
essays being handed back bleeding to death after being savaged by some
mean English teacher wielding his or her red pen no longer will my sleep be
curtailed by hours of tedious rewrites moreover from now on I'm expecting
straight As all the way.

Editing Paragraphs for Errors

Correct all the punctuation, capitalization, and grammatical errors in the following
paragraphs. More than one correct answer is possible.

Sleep is one of those things you never think about. As long as you're getting
your full forty winks at night. As soon as a bout of insomnia hits though sleep
is the only thing on your mind. The ancient greeks had a god of sleep called
hypnos who could appear as a bird, child, or friendly warrior those images don't
suggest sleep to modern people though we prefer fields of sheep and mr.
sandman.
Since the greeks scientists have made much progress in unravelling the
secrets of sleep but many mysteries remain. They can't explain for example
exactly how we fall asleep. Or wake up. Or what dreams are. However they know
a lot about insomnia and other sleep disorder. Such as narcolepsy, sudden attacks
of deep sleep, sleep apnea (the sleeper stops breathing for several seconds
at a time) and, sleepwalking. Which are more amusing to hear about than to
experience.
Millions of people suffer from insomnia either chronically, or from time to
time. They will try anything to break the curse and science and folklore offers
them a carload of choices everything from warm milk and lavender sachets
to sleeping pills and sleep clinics. Not that any ofthese things help the true
insomniac of course. And, how maddening it must be for someone who
hasnt slept in weeks to come across a bus passenger fast asleep sitting up.
Surrounded by strangers.

Chapter 13 Unit | Review: Using All You Have Learned 153

 Working Together: Remembering Your Canadian Trip

Work with a group of your classmates, and discuss your favourite Canadian trips.
You might recall a particular landmark such as the Cabot Trail in Cape Breton, Nova
Scotia (below, left) or Confederation Bridge (the world’s longest bridge over icy
waters) joining the provinces of P.E.I. and New Brunswick (below, right). Talk about
what your impressions were—what moved you and why? Then take about fifteen
minutes to write a paragraph about it.

McKinnon/Shutterstock
Paul c Matthew/Shu
J.
V.

After your paragraph is finished, trade papers with someone else. Check each
other’s paragraph for fragments, run-ons, lack of parallel structure, misplaced and
dangling modifiers, and errors with pronouns, subject-verb agreement, punctuation,
capitalization, and so on. When you are finished, hand it back and discuss the
grammatical points mentioned above (and the content if you want to do so).

154 Unit1 Sentence Skills NEL

 i Chapter 14 Understanding What
You Read
Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and
Summarizing
Chapter 16 Quoting
Chapter 17 Answering the Question

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 Chapter 14
Understanding
What You Read

It’s morning at work. Your boss has put an article on your desk. The article is on some
new theory about how to save money in your area of your industry. Your boss asks
you to write a response to this article, proposing to either adopt or reject the idea,
and then adds, “By the way, I want this response on my desk before you go home
today.” What kinds of skills will you need to get this job done? Imagine how much
information your boss will have about you before you leave today on which to base
decisions to promote you or give you a raise or . . . not.
Writing is very revealing. It tells the reader if you can spell or not. It gives the
reader an idea of how rich your vocabulary is. It demonstrates your command of
grammar and your knowledge of punctuation. It reveals whether or not you have an
effective style that goes beyond the mechanics of good writing. But it also suggests
whether you understand what you are reading. You will sometimes be required, after
all, to write in response to reading. If you do not have a particularly good grasp of
what you have read, your writing will unveil the truth about this, too.

You Are Not Alone

Good reading skills, like anything else, come with practice. The electronic age has made
it difficult to read books, for example, as often as previous generations were accustomed
to doing. There are exceptions, of course. Every so often, a student will read a novel
between classes instead of texting or talking on a cellphone. But this is rare. And it’s rarer
than it’s ever been simply because we have more distractions literally at our fingertips.
We have trouble keeping up with what we must read, whether it’s for
homework or for work. But when it comes to our spare time, we’d rather be
distracted by the Internet or a movie (or a movie on the Internet) than become
engaged in a good book. Reading a book takes too long, or it’s not as exciting, or
it's just not viewed as the valuable exercise it once was. There’s also the possibility

156 NEL
that people simply don’t know what they’re missing. When they’re told that reading
fiction can teach them just as much about human nature, if not more, than any
class they can take, it’s a little hard to believe until they do it.
Another reason people don’t read as much as they used to is that they may not
be reading effectively. Reading is an active skill that, for some, requires strategies to
help them read more effectively. Here are some reading strategies that can help you
understand what you read.

Reading Strategies
1. Previewing
a. Reading the introduction
b. Reading titles (and subtitles, headings, and subheadings)
c. Reading first and last paragraphs
d. Reading information in boxes, charts, captions, and so on

. Taking notes, annotating, and highlighting

. Reading and answering questions that follow the reading
. Rereading
Nh
WwW
ah . Journalling
a. What struck you forcefully?
b. What do you not understand?

6. Reading topic sentences

NI. Looking up words you don’t understand
8. Looking up references online that you don’t understand

1. Previewing
a. Reading the Introduction
Not every reading has an introduction, but if you look at the major readings in this
book, in Unit V you'll see what can best be described as an introduction just before
the beginning of every reading. This introduction is not actually part of the reading.
It is not written by the author of the reading, but rather by the author of the book.

Excuses, Excuses

Adrian Lee

Student excuses are getting more sophisticated, but so are the investigative
tactics of teachers. Adrian Lee is the digital editor of Maclean’s magazine; he
also prides himself on being its resident hip hop expert. In this article, Lee
explores the world of the excuses used today and the proof students might
need to back them up.

Each introduction in Unit V (like the one above) is meant to give the reader some
background on the author of the reading and a glimpse into its meaning without
giving too much away. The idea is to lure the reader into reading the article.

Chapter 14 Understanding What You Read 157

 This introduction can be viewed as a kind of abstract, which can help you understand
the reading in general. The author of the book is trying to maximize the reader’s
experience so that you might not only understand the reading more easily, but also
enjoy it more than you would if there were no introduction at all. This is why some
teachers are baffled when they hear students claim that they didn’t understand the
reading that was assigned, but they also chose not to read the introduction or do
other things that the preview section of these strategies suggests.

b. Reading Titles (and Subtitles, Headings, and Subheadings)

Have you ever read a newspaper? Chances are you haven't read every word of every
story from page 1 to the end. If you did do this every day, there would be no time for
anything else.
What most people do is read the story titles or the headings. The secondary
titles, or kickers—set above the headline—break up the text to make it easier to read
the overall piece. They also give small hints as to what is to come, and in this way,
hopefully, lure you further into the story in case you were thinking of not reading on.
Look up words in the title that you don’t understand. For a story called
“Transparent Silhouette” in Chapter 32, most readers are likely to know what
transparent means. But why would someone read the story without knowing what
silhouette means also? There’s no need to locate a library or even a hard-cover
dictionary. Just look up silhouette online, and one of your first hits is likely to be a
definition of the word, something like “A silhouette is an image of a person.” Now you
know the title is suggesting a “see-through image of a person.” What does this conjure
up in your head? A ghost perhaps? Now you might be starting to get curious as to
what the story is about.
Titles are extremely important. Authors and editors usually devote a great deal
of time to the formulation of good titles. Titles are used, after all, to sell newspapers
and magazines, books, movie tickets, and so on. How often have you heard someone
say they bought the book because they simply liked the title? This happens often.
It is also true of professors. If a professor has two essays to read next and one of
them is entitled “Love” while the other is entitled “The Incompatibility of Love and
Marriage,” which one is the professor likely to read first? Why? The second title is
clearly more interesting. The student who wrote it took the time to come up with
something more specific and thought-provoking. And why is this particular title more
thought-provoking? Well, it suggests that the thesis is original and not common or
weak. The thesis is not going to be about the pros and cons of love, whatever love
means. It’s going to be a controversial and unique claim that probably goes against
social norms. And all that comes from just a title. So if someone has put effort into
coming up with a good title, the least a reader can do is try to understand what the
title means before starting to read the reading.

c. Reading First and Last Paragraphs

Perhaps you have read an entire reading already. Later, you see this idea of reading
the first and last paragraphs as a strategy to help you to understand the reading better.

158 Unit 2 Ihe Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 You might say to yourself, “But I’ve already read it. There’s no reason for me to read
any part of it again.” This is not necessarily true. In fact, it is often the first and last
parts of an article that are the most important. If the first paragraph is written well, it
contains a clearly expressed thesis statement. If the last paragraph is well written, it
restates the thesis but in different words. By the time you read both the first and last
paragraph in quick succession, it might be clear to you what the author is trying to
say, even if the middle of the article did not make it clear at all.
The first and last paragraphs of a reading can be compared to the opening and
closing scenes of a movie. Some people are so insistent about the importance of these
scenes that if they miss the opening scene for whatever reason, they would rather
not see the movie at all. One method of analyzing art requires a comparison and
contrast of the first and last parts of any work, such as an essay or movie. The method
suggests that once the similarities and differences between the first and last parts
are determined, the person doing the analysis is able to arrive at the meaning of the
piece, whatever it is. If this is true, it is easier to see why some people would prefer
not to see the movie at all if they miss the opening scene.
This is also why reading the first and last paragraphs of an article can be such a
good idea! The method described above for analyzing a work of art suggests that we
can actually determine the meaning of the work after simply reading the first and
last paragraphs; think of how valuable this activity is as a previewing exercise whose
purpose is to help readers understand what they are about to read.

d. Reading Information in Boxes, Charts, Captions, and So On

Boxes can include anything the writer thinks the reader might be interested in
seeing more details on. For example, if the writer mentions a survey whose results
are astonishing, the reader might be interested in seeing how the survey questions
were worded or the breakdown of the results. A box or sidebar may provide further
information on something referred to in the text, and at the same time serves to break
up the text on the page so that the reader’s eyes are diverted and given a break from
the text. Visual aids are aimed at stimulating the reader’s senses so that the content
does not become so overwhelming that the reader doesn’t finish the piece. Look,
for example, at the following illustration of the structure of a paragraph taken from
Chapter 20, “The Essay.”

Paragraph

Topic Sentence (T.S.)

Supporting Detail:

Main Supporting Sentences

Example Sentences

Concluding Sentence

NEL Chapter 14 Understanding What You Read 159

 Regardless of the author’s or editor’s motivation for including boxed information,
it can be an excellent way of improving your understanding of the reading. Examine
its contents before reading the article. See if it helps.
Like the information in boxes, visual elements, charts, and captions can
have dramatic effects on the reader. Graphics and photographs are less likely
to have “copy,” or to use words, so they will add an image to the words already
provided in the text. The visual content will either enhance or weaken what
the words in the text have already conjured up in the mind of the reader.
Sometimes the visual content works. Sometimes the article is better off
without it. But it almost always provokes a reaction from the reader. Often
the visual content has an emotional effect that is not always the objective of
words. But any appeal to the reader’s emotions can be quite powerful, which
is why most newspapers and television stations have a policy of not showing
pictures that are too graphic because of undesired effects on their readers
or viewers.

2. Taking Notes, Annotating, and Highlighting

Taking notes, annotating, and highlighting are most often done when students go to
class and/or study for exams. They help students understand what they’ve read or
heard. They can also help if you're reading an article for the first time.

Taking notes: The actual act of taking notes, for example, is also a memory
technique. Just by quoting the speaker (such as a professor during a lecture) or
by paraphrasing something, students force themselves to focus on something,
if only for that moment—long enough to save into memory the new fact
or idea.

Annotating: Annotating simply means explaining or commenting on something.

It may be someone else’s idea, or it may be your own. Regardless, it is meant to help
later when you are studying for an exam or doing an assignment about the article
youre annotating now. Annotations are most often written in the margin of the text,
or they can be written separately in class notes. It doesn’t matter where you make
notes. This also applies to annotating for the sake of making it easier to understand
a reading. Often, a professor will say something important in introducing an article
that has been assigned for reading. Adding an annotation in a strategic location in
the reading can be very helpful later when you're reading the article and trying to
better understand it.

Highlighting: Highlighting is very popular among students. It helps to point out

the important points in a reading, whether their importance has been determined
by a professor or by you. Highlighting can be even more helpful if you’ve been
asked to respond to a reading (see the introduction to this chapter), or even if
you've been asked to summarize an article or part of one to identify the main points
to include in your summary.

160 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 3. Reading and Answering Questions That
Follow the Reading
Look at the main readings in Unit V of this textbook. After every reading, there are
four sections of questions: “Comprehension Questions,” “Questions about Form,”
“Questions for Discussion,” and “Writing Ideas.” Without intending to answer these
questions, the simple act of reading them can give the reader a better idea of what
the reading is about and what it means. And, of course, if you are expected to answer
these questions, reading them before reading the article can help you know what to
look for so that you can more easily answer them later. In fact, reading any available
questions first can help you decide what to highlight or how to annotate while you’re
reading. After you’ve done the reading at least once, go ahead and try to answer the
questions. They can only help you understand the reading more deeply.

4. Rereading
The first thing that some students might say when this reading comprehension
strategy is mentioned is, “What? I hardly have time to read at all, and you want me to
read this thing twice?” The problem with this answer is that it suggests that the main
objective here might not be optimum learning, but maybe “enough” learning (e.g., to
pass a pop quiz). Speed reading is not a skill that most people possess. Many people
have to read things more than once to gain a good understanding. This is particularly
true if the article is not very well written. If the main objective is optimum learning,
then you must devote time to the process. The more time, whether it’s to reading,
practising, applying, or all three, the better. The adage of “no pain, no gain” applies
here as it does to most things that are worthwhile in life.

5. Journalling
What Struck You Forcefully? What Do You Not Understand?
Many students will ask their professors, “Do you want me to write anything after
I read the assigned reading?” One suggestion is to engage in a kind of journalling
after the reading is done. This is a great way to dialogue with the material and with
yourself on the subject of the reading. It’s also a great way to remember the reading
for later assignments.

6. Reading Topic Sentences

The first sentence is supposed to be the topic sentence of a paragraph, if the
paragraph is written well. And the topic sentence is charged with two, and maybe
three, functions: to introduce the paragraph and to inform you of what the writer
will be trying to explain, and if it’s written really well, to directly support the thesis
of the entire piece as well. In any event, by reading just the topic sentences, you're
already getting a good glimpse of the argument the author is trying to develop.

NEL
Chapter 14 Understanding What You Read 161
 Without getting lost in some of the details, just reading the skeletal structure of the
argument first might help you understand it better, especially when you read the
article in full.

7. Looking Up Words You Don’t Understand

: infer | uemy andene feanyone aan the time,Sly every student in the room takes
outa cellphone—unless, of course, it’s already on the desk—and tells me the time from the
- clock on the phone. But when | ask someone to find the definition of aword we've come
across in class, no one knows what to do.
“Hasn't anyone thought of looking up the word on Google?” |ask. “Why is it so obvious
. that you need your phone to tell the time, but you don't even think of the smartphone when
- it comes to discovering what a word means?”| understand that few people want to carry a
hard-copy dictionary around all the time, but considering that most people already carry a :
* smartphone, why not use it to look up the definitions of words to gain a better understanding of :
* a reading and for spelling, and so on? ;
* Gary Lipschutz, lead author of The Canadian Writer's Workplace

8. Looking Up References Online That You

Don’t Understand
Gary Lamphier, author of the reading “The Economic Cost of Depression” in Unit V,
refers to a number of people by name. Among them are Winston Churchill, Eric
Clapton, Woody Allen, and Ray Charles. If you don’t know who these people are, it
would no doubt enrich your understanding of the reading if you looked up one or
several of them on the Internet.

Reading Strategies

Find an article in a newspaper or magazine that you think you might not enjoy. Use
at least three reading strategies from this chapter to help you understand this article
by the time you have read it completely. Write a paragraph on the impact you believe
the reading strategies have made on your reading experience.

Working Together: The Best Way to Learn Is to Teach

Assemble a group of four or five, and have members each find a short article
(no more than a couple of magazine pages) that might be of interest to the rest of
the group. Ask each person to read their own selection to the point where it can be
explained to the rest of the group. Then discuss the reading strategies you used from
this chapter that helped you to read the article more easily and effectively. As a group,
discuss your experiences with these strategies.

162 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 Paraphrasing
and
Summarizing

Many companies assign reading to their employees, much like instructors do to their
students. At a Monday morning staff meeting, for example, each employee might be
expected to summarize a booklet, manual, catalogue, or document for the benefit of
everyone. If you are that employee, you might also be expected to produce a written
summary for everyone who isn’t at the meeting.
The ability to paraphrase and summarize well is perhaps one of the most
useful skills you will learn. Paraphrasing and summarizing are techniques for
rewriting something you have read; they require putting in your own words the
main idea or ideas of the original text. They are especially useful techniques when
studying for tests and exams and writing research essays because they develop and
demonstrate your understanding of the material you have read. When writing a
research assignment, paraphrasing and summarizing are important in making a
coherent document out of your sources. Translating ideas and information into your
own words also helps you remember them better: to summarize something you have
read, you must understand it. The better you understand something, the less likely
you are to forget it.

Paraphrasing is the process of putting another writer's work into your own words. A paraphrase
can be as long as or even longer than the original.

An effective paraphrase follows not only the line of reasoning in the original source,
but also the sequence of ideas or evidence. You paraphrase in an essay when it is
important that every idea of the original work be conveyed to your reader.

NEL
 But, like summarizing, paraphrasing should be done in your own words.
Paraphrasing is typically done for shorter passages a paragraph or two long. Don’t
worry, your instructor won’t ask you to paraphrase a whole book!
Now look at an example to see how a successful paraphrase differs from an
unsuccessful one. The sample paragraph below is followed by examples of both
unacceptable and acceptable paraphrases.

Original
“Reality-based” TV programs appear to capture spontaneous events on film.
However, most viewers are not aware that much of the action that transpires on
these programs is staged. People who appear on these shows are often selected
because producers think they will appeal to the audience, and directors often
script important pieces of dialogue at critical moments during production.
Therefore, relationships that develop between participants on these shows are
often as contrived as those between characters on a TV sitcom or a soap opera.

Unacceptable Paraphrase (Plagiarism):

“Reality-based”TV shows seem to depict spontaneous events on film. Most people,
however, do not know that a lot of the action that takes place on these programs is
staged. The people on shows like these are often selected because the producers believe
they will appeal to viewers, and directors frequently write important pieces of dialogue
at crucial moments during the filming of the show. Therefore, relationships that develop
are frequently as phony as those between personalities on TV sitcoms or soap operas.

This is considered plagiarism or an unsuccessful paraphrase because the overall

structure and the phrasing of the underlined passages are almost identical to the
original.

Acceptable Paraphrase:
The popularity of “reality-based”TV shows is founded on the belief that live events
are being filmed, but many viewers do not know that much of what they see is made
purposely dramatic. Producers of these shows often choose participants because they
believe viewers will find them attractive, and the shows’ directors often have them
acting from scripts to heighten the drama. Thus, participants create relationships that
are no more real than those we see on other TV shows, such as sitcoms or soap operas.

This passage is an example of good paraphrasing. The writer has taken the
main idea of the original paragraph and restated it using their own words. All of the
original details and examples appear, but they have been reworded and the sentences
restructured.

Writing a Successful Paraphrase

1. Read the passage and define all unfamiliar or technical terms. Write
all unfamiliar terms and their definitions on a separate sheet of paper.

164 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 2. Reread the passage again, paying closer attention to the content
and the order in which the ideas develop. Make sure you have a clear
understanding of the passage you are reading before you begin paraphrasing it.
3- Begin converting the language of the passage into your own words,
sentence by sentence. Look for synonyms of words used in the passage. Alter
sentence structure and vocabulary until you are conveying the original ideas
in your own voice. If the original uses the first person (J), change it to the third
person (he, she, or they).
4. Write out your paraphrase in full sentences of your own. Remember
not to use more than three words at a time from the original.
5. Edit for spelling and grammar.

Writing Paraphrases

Use your own words or phrases to express the following. Each item has a wide range
of correct answers.

1. Utterly

2. Every cloud has a silver lining.

3. No pain, no gain.

4. He's like a wolfin sheep's clothing.

5. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Paraphrasing a Paragraph

The following passage was excerpted from an article entitled “A Dead End for
Humanity,’ by Wade Davis. Write a paraphrase ofthis paragraph. The passage contains
seventy-nine words, so your paraphrase should be about the same length.

Of the 6000 languages spoken today, fully half are not being taught to children.
Effectively, these languages are already dead. By the end ofthe twenty-first
century, linguistic diversity may be reduced to as few as 500 languages. A
anquage, of course, is not simply vocabulary and grammar, it is a flash of the
human spirit, the vehicle by which the soul of aculture comes into the material
realm. Each language represents a unique intellectual and spiritual achievement.*
The Globe and Mail (December 28, 2000

* Excerpt from: Wade Davis, “A Dead End for Humanity,” The Globe and Mail (28 December 2000). Reproduced by
permission of the author.

NEL Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and Summarizing 165

 Summarizing

A summary is written in your own words, but it is a condensed version of an original source.

We practise summarizing all the time in our day-to-day lives. When telling friends
about a movie, you don’t repeat the story or dialogue from beginning to end. Instead,
you relate the main points in the plot, or things about the movie that captured your
interest.
Asummary states the main idea of a passage. The purpose of a summary is to
shorten the original piece of writing, providing only important information and
eliminating nonessential points. A summary allows the reader to understand the
main facts and ideas in the original without reading the entire passage. A summary
should be no more than one-third the length of the original passage. The words you
use should be your own. To avoid charges of plagiarism, you should not use more
than three words at a time from the original. (Plagiarism is discussed in more detail
later in this chapter.)
Take a look at this example of a summary. The following passage is taken from a
longer piece entitled “77% of Canadian Graduates Have Regrets about Student Debt:
Poll” by Maham Abedi, National Online Journalist, Breaking News, Global News, on
September 20, 2017. Immediately following this excerpt is a summary about a third
the length of the original.

About three-quarters, or 77 per cent, of Canadian graduates under 40

have some regrets about the money they spent while in school, according
to a poll released Tuesday by debt firm BDO Canada.
The report, carried out by Ipsos, found 30 per cent of graduates would
have had more frugal budgets, some would have worked more during
school (28 per cent), and 25 per cent would have avoided other debt by
staying away from credit cards and car loans.
About 67 per cent of Canadians included in the poll said they had debt
when graduating, and were an average of $22,084 in the red. Only about
33 per cent of respondents graduated debt-free.
Sixty-two per cent of those who wrapped up their education with debt
are still paying off the loans, the poll said.*
(approx. 136 words)

Acceptable Summary:
An Ipsos poll reported that 77 percent of Canadian graduates have regrets about
their student finances: 30 percent say they would have spent less while in school,
28 percent would have worked more, and 25 percent would have avoided credit cards.
(approx. 45 words)
* Source: © 2017 Global News, a division of Corus Entertainment Inc.

166 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 Tips on Writing a Successful Summary
1. Read the passage and identify the topic sentence and controlling
idea. Underline the sentence that you think best expresses the main point of the
passage. Rewrite this sentence in your own words.
- Identify and eliminate minor supporting ideas. Specific facts or examples
may be important in developing a main idea, but they are not to be included in a
summary.
- Write out the major supporting details in full sentences in your own
words. Use as few words as possible, and remember not to use more than three
words at a time from the original.
.- Count the words. Make sure the total is no more than one-third
of the original.
- Reread your summary. Make sure that the meaning of the passage is
conveyed clearly and that your sentences work together.
. Edit for spelling and grammar.

Writing Summaries

Find single words to replace the following phrases. (Each may have more than one
correct answer.)

perform an analysis of.

create a reduction in
engage in the preparation of
give consideration to
SA) is dependent on
IS
SES
aes

Summarizing a Paragraph

Summarize the following passage, reducing it to approximately one-third of its

original length of 216 words.

Canadian society in the twenty-first century is very different from that of early
Canadians, and not just because we have smartphones and tablets. Two hundred
years ago, people lived half as long as they do today, and families had twice as
many children. In general, all Canadians are living longer, which means not only
is our working life extended, but we can expect to retire from work and live
another fifteen to twenty years to enjoy the fruits of our labours. Canadians born
in 1700 had an average life expectancy ofthirty to thirty-five years due to poor
diet, disease, and accidents. By 1831, four generations had passed, and there
had been a slight improvement in life expectancy, with males expecting to live
to age forty and females to forty-two. During the next four generations, major
medical breakthroughs and public health education eliminated a number of
infectious diseases and reduced infant mortality, so that Canadians 'lifespans were
almost double what they were a little more than a century previously. But while
Canadians can expect a long and healthy life, with many living well into their

NEL
Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and Summarizing 167
 seventies or eighties, the average lifespan will not increase indefinitely. While we
can expect to live longer than the Canadians of the 1700s, we can't expect to live
forever.

Acknowledging the Author (or Attribution)

When paraphrasing or summarizing, even if you are not required to document your
sources, it is most often necessary to acknowledge the rightful author or source of
the ideas you are expressing. (For times when you do have to document sources, see
Chapter 24, “Documentation.”) It’s easy to do so right in the text. Here is an example
acknowledging the author of a reading in Unit V entitled “How to Get Happily
Married”: According to Julia McKinnell, the experts say you shouldn't get married
in your twenties ifyou want your marriage to last. These are not the original words
of the author, but it’s still the author’s idea, and it must be attributed to her when
you discuss it in your writing. Along with paraphrasing and summarizing properly,
acknowledging other authors appropriately is yet another way to avoid plagiarism.

Plagiarism: A Serious Offence

Students who write unacceptable paraphrases can be accused of plagiarism. Plagiarism
is a form of intellectual theft. It occurs when one person uses the ideas or words of
another person without giving credit to the original source or author. You can avoid
plagiarism by ensuring that credit for work other than your own is given. (See Chapter 24,
“Documentation.’) When you paraphrase a passage, be sure to inform your reader about
who the original author is and where the original work appeared.

Plagiarism in a school environment often results in a mark of zero on an

assignment. If it is a major assignment, one case of plagiarism can cause you to
fail a course. Plagiarism is not only contrary to school policy (because it is always a
clear violation of academic honesty and integrity), but it is also against the law.
High-ranking officials have been known to lose their jobs and their reputations
because of plagiarism. If you are not sure about how to avoid of plagiarism, ask your
professor for advice.

Avoid Unintentional Plagiarism

With so much information at our fingertips today, there may be a tendency and,
perhaps, an irresistible temptation to use what is in front of us (such as text ona
website) for our papers without even realizing that we might be opening ourselves up
to charges of plagiarism. Many instructors consider as few as three consecutive words
lifted from someone else’s text to be plagiarism if these words are not in quotation
marks and attributed to their original author. (For a discussion of how to quote
properly, see Chapter 16, “Quoting.”)
So, if you are paraphrasing or summarizing and you want to avoid the plagiarism
trap, here is a trick of the trade: read the text closely enough that you understand it
thoroughly. Then close the book or the window on the computer (or reduce it so that

Reading-Writing Connection
eas
 you cannot see it for now). Write what you remember, or as much as you think you
need for the purpose of your paper. Then go back to the original if necessary to check
for accuracy. You also might want to check to make sure you haven't, by accident,
ended up with phrases three words or longer that are in the original. If you have,
change the wording of these phrases. If the original is relatively long, do this one
paragraph at a time. In this way, not only will you protect yourself from accusations
of intellectual theft, but you will also find yourself absorbing the reading material
more efficiently. Developing this good work habit can lead to all sorts of rewards
when doing assignments that involve reading and writing.

. Foran example of plagiarism (or an unsuccessful paraphrase), see the paraphrase about
. reality television near the beginning ofthis chapter).

Of course, if you are writing a research paper, whether it be a review of

literature, a report, or an academic essay, you will probably be expected to document
your sources. The extent of the documentation required for a particular paper is
determined by your professor. (For more information, see Chapter 23, “The Research
Paper,” and Chapter 24, “Documentation.”)

An Example of Plagiarism and Its Real-Life Consequences

The name Chris Spence has become synonymous with plagiarism. He is a former
Canadian football player and, more recently, the former director of education of the
biggest school board in Canada, the Toronto District School Board (TDSB). He was
reportedly loved by many people, including teachers and students, for being inspiring
and humble. On January 9, 2013, Spence admitted plagiarizing more than one
passage in an article he wrote for the Toronto Star.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire”? Once
Spence was caught stealing a few sentences here and there, other people started
looking into and finding plagiarism in more of his writings. Even the university from
which Spence received his doctoral degree investigated his thesis and in it found 67
instances of plagiarism including one that was nine pages long.
In spite of his education, experience, powerful position, and reputation (before
the plagiarism), he lost his job (the salary for which was $272,000 a year), and he lost
his doctoral degree (the University of Toronto revoked it). However, Spence’s lawyer
announced in 2018 that he would seek judicial review of U of T’s decision in Ontario
divisional court, according to the Toronto Star on February 7, 2018 (“Chris Spence
Loses Appeal to Keep PhD amid Plagiarism Findings,” by Andrea Gordon).

Analyzing and Critiquing

Paraphrasing and summarizing are useful skills, not just for their own sake but
because they are a necessary part of more advanced responses to texts. Eventually,
your professor will ask you not only to repeat what someone else has already written,
but to agree or disagree and provide your reasons.

NEL
Chapter 15 Paraphrasing and Summarizing 169
 In the major readings unit (Unit V), each reading is followed by several questions,
classified into four groups. The first group, Comprehension Questions, requires some
paraphrasing and summarizing. To answer these questions, you will need to recall
or look back at what you’ve read and then repeat, in one way or another, what the
author has written.
The questions classified as “Questions for Discussion” and “Questions about
Form,” on the other hand, call for more thinking on your part. They require analysis
and argumentation. To answer them, you will have to support or refute what the
author has written. One skill you will develop in this area is usually referred to as
critical thinking. It is often a requirement in courses across the curriculum at the
postsecondary level; it is also a skill that can only help you in any workplace. For
more on critical thinking and analysis, see Chapter 25, “Argumentation.”

Working Together: Summarizing Opposing Points of View

Form groups of three or four. Look in your local newspaper for feature articles
on controversial topics that are of concern to many Canadians, such as the effects
of global warming or genetic engineering. Try to find one article that looks at the
problem from one perspective and another article that takes an opposing view. For
instance, find an article that supports high-speed police chases and another where
the author considers them too dangerous. Each group member will then write a
summary of one of these articles, making sure that the opposing points of view are
clearly indicated. You might use this information to discuss ways in which the media
attempt to influence the attitudes of Canadians.

170 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 Chapter 16
Quoting

Why do students quote? Sometimes it’s what they believe the professor wants. When
a professor requires text references in a paper, then a student might think this means
quoting. A quotation is one type of text reference, but it’s not the only type. Another
type of text reference is a paraphrase or a summary (see Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing
and Summarizing”). But there are also good reasons to quote: (1) to break up the text,
and (2) to repeat what someone else says word for word because that writer says it
better than most people can.

Text References: Quotations and Paraphrased Ideas

When you're asked to include one or several text references, this usually means
you have choices, unless your professor tells you otherwise. A text reference means
using an idea from a reading in whatever it is that you’re responding to in writing.
A text reference can be in the form of a quotation, or it can be a paraphrased idea.
A text reference can be used as a piece of evidence to support a point you've just
made. Or it can be something you want to respond to in your own piece of writing.
When it’s used as a piece of evidence, avoid placing it in the topic sentence of a
paragraph because this is a place for your own claim, not of evidence in support
of it.
Quotations are the exact words of the author. These words must be surrounded
by quotation marks unless the quotation is more than two lines. In this case,
the quotation is not surrounded by quotation marks but indented, instead.
Use a quotation when you can’t say in better words what the author has said.
The paraphrased idea is the author's idea, but in your own words. Of course,
no quotation marks are used in this case, but you must still attribute the idea to
the author, whether or not you've been asked to document your sources. If there’s

NEL
171
 no documentation required, simply say who said what. For example, Joseph
Campbell said that living authentically means being who you really are (without
pretending to be anyone else) and doing what you really want. By saying Joseph
Campbell said, you’ve added attribution to your text reference. This suffices if no
documentation is required. For more on paraphrasing, see Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing
and Summarizing.”

How Much Do You Quote?

Quote only as much as you need to to support the point you've just made. Do not
quote more than that for the sake of filling up space. If part of the quotation is not
relevant to your thesis, it’s not considered evidence, and if it’s not evidence, what’s
it doing in your paper? Keep another thing in mind. Everything you quote may have
to be interpreted. And everything you quote must be analyzed and commented on.
These are all reasons to keep quoting to a minimum. You're making it more difficult
for yourself if your quotation is longer than it should be.

1. YOUR POINT
2. INTRODUCTION TO THE QUOTATION
3. QUOTATION
(EVIDENCE FROM THE TEXT IN SUPPORT OF YOUR POINT)
4. INTERPRETATION
(OF THE QUOTATION IF NECESSARY)
5. ANALYSIS OF THE QUOTATION
(RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THE QUOTATION AND YOUR POINT)
6. COMMENTARY ON THE QUOTATION
(WHAT DO YOU THINK OF IT?)

Figure 16.1: Giving Meaning to Quotations

A quotation is rarely sufficient on its own. It must be surrounded by items that give it meaning. Without
these items, your quotation will make little or no sense. The figure above shows a typical order of items
that include the quotation.

72 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 Short (Integrated) Quotation

For a short quotation, four lines or under (some say forty words or under), place
quotation marks around the quotation and integrate the quotation within the regular
paragraph. Such a short quotation might be a sentence or two, or even a spot quotation,
meaning a partial quoted sentence integrated within a sentence of your own.

Example of a short quotation:

Notice the introduction (without quotation marks) of is quotation followed by
-acomma. '
“Notice the absence ofthe word that between theword says and the quotation.
Notice that there is no The word. that is reserved for paraphrases (see Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing and
indentation of the quotation. Summarizing’)
The professor said that Campbell was a great mythologist.
The professor said, “Campbell was an accomplished mythologist.’ (no that
between the introduction of the quotation and the quotation itself)

A common theme in the study of mythology is that of the hero and the hero's journey. In
his most famous book, 7he Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell says, ~The bat-
tlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every creature lives on the death of another,

Notice how the final period goes inside the quotation mark. If this is a documented paper,
however, there would be no period inside the quotation mark. Instead, a set of parentheses
(for the internal documentation) would follow the last quotation mark, and a final period
would follow the parentheses. (For examples of internal documentation, see Chapter 24,
“Documentation, for APA style and for MLA style.)

Longer (Block) Quotation

RULE
If your quotation is longer than four lines (or forty words), you must set it apart
from your regular paragraph. When you do this, indent (by a few spaces) the part
that is quoted. Do not use quotation marks around or within this quotation at all
unless there are quotation marks already within the original quotation.

Example of a block quotation:

The first two lines of the quotation are Campbell's words, so there are no quotation marks yet. But in the
third line, there is a set of quotation marks around the words “after long, long years.’ These words are
words that Campbell, himself, has taken from another source (the story by the Grimm Brothers).

In his most famous book, The Héro with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell begins to tell
the story of “Sleeping Bea

Little Briar-rose [8!eeping Beauty) was put to sleep by a jealous hag (an unconscious
evil-mother jafage). And not only the child, her entire world went off to sleep; but at last,
Decne
uotation.
cae “after long, long years,”
7
there came a 3 prince to wake her. “The king and5 queen (the con-
: scious good-parent images), who had just come home and were entering the hall, began
to fall asleep, and with them the whole estate...”

Note the four periods at the end of the quotation before the final quotation mark. These four periods at the
end ofaquoted sentence indicate that the original quotation continues, but for the purposes of the quota-
tion by Campbell, this is all that is necessary to support whatever point he is making.

NEL
Chapter 16 Quoting 173
 Analyzing the Quotation or Idea
To analyze the quotation or idea is to show the connection between it and the thesis
of your paper. Why does the quotation or idea appear here? Do you agree with it or
not? How does it support the point that immediately precedes it in your paper? By
now, you can see that if the quotation or idea is longer than it should be, you might
run into problems with the part that follows.

Assessing Quotations

Look for a short article in either a newspaper or a magazine. Identify the quotations in
this article. Then decide whether the quotations are appropriate by considering the
following questions:

1. Is the quotation a reasonable length? Why or why not?

2. Could the author of the piece have expressed the idea better than the person
being quoted? Should the quotation have been paraphrased instead? Discuss.
3. Is everything in the quotation interpreted and analyzed properly? Discuss.

Working Together: Celebrity Canadians

In a group of four or five, choose one of the celebrity Canadians pictured below and
on next page: (Drake, Milos Raonic, Alessia Cara, and Bianca Andreescu). As an
individual, do some research on your smartphone or tablet, or whatever device you
have access to, on what being Canadian means to the chosen celebrity, then write a
five- to seven-sentence paragraph in which you quote something this person has said.
Make sure the quotation supports the topic sentence. Read your paragraph aloud to
the rest of the group. Then, as a group, discuss the similarities and differences among
the paragraphs.

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Leonard
Drake Milos Raonic

174 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

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 Chapter 17
Answering the
Question

More often these days, students do not carefully read all the instructions for an
assignment. Maybe they think they'll get through the assignment faster if they just go
on an assumption. The trouble with this is that they are often wrong. They'll write a
paragraph instead of an essay, or an essay instead of a paragraph. Or they will leave
out the references. Regardless, this usually results in lower marks. So the first thing
to do is read the instructions. And then read them again, if necessary. Reading them a
third time before submitting the assignment, making sure nothing was missed, is not
a bad idea. This chapter is about understanding exactly what is required when you
read the instructions and suggested topics, for instance, so that you can respond as
well as possible.

Understanding What Is Asked

What does a question require you to do? Is there more than one part to the question?
Does the professor want you to define a term, compare two historical figures, or
narrate the story of your search for the right part-time job? Furthermore, how many
points is the question worth? How much time can you spend on the question? What
is the required format? How long is your answer supposed to be?

Direct Answer to a Direct Question

Often professors say to their students, “Well, you wrote a very thought-provoking
paper (or paragraph). But you didn’t answer the question.” Is it sufficient to write a
good paper (or paragraph) if it doesn’t answer the question? If what is assigned is
a paper on a particular topic without a question being asked, then it might be fine
to compose a paper answering your own question. But if a question is asked, or if
the topic is very specific—for example, the symbolic meaning of the Holy Grail,

176 NEL
 as explained by mythologist Joseph Campbell—then you probably don’t have the
liberty to veer off the path that has been determined for you. In fact, a specific topic,
such as the one about the Holy Grail, can be seen as a question that you have to answer.
Although not in question form, it can be read this way: What is Joseph Campbell’s
symbolic interpretation of the Holy Grail? Some professors might even give your
paper—no matter how well it might be written—a zero if it doesn’t answer the question.
In fact, a direct answer to a direct question makes the best thesis for the first
paragraph of an essay (the introduction or introductory paragraph). Again, let’s look
at the question above.

What is Joseph Campbell’s symbolic interpretation of the Holy Grail?

Thesis (direct answer to the direct question): Joseph Campbell

says that the Holy Grail is symbolic of a state of mind a human being
might have achieved as a result of living his life authentically, that is
without lying to himself or anyone else about who he is.

Another thesis in response to the same question might be as follows:

Joseph Campbell says that the Holy Grail represents the fulfillment of
one’s spiritual potential.

If you're writing an essay, the rest of the introductory paragraph might be used
to expand on the thesis. In the rest of your essay, of course, you would proceed to
support your answer with evidence.
Here is another example of a direct question:

Do you support the idea of bringing capital punishment back to Canada

in the most brutal of crimes?

The thesis (direct answer) might look something like this:

Capital punishment should not return to Canada no matter how brutal

the crime.

Notice that there was no need to use the word J despite the fact that this thesis is
clearly an opinion, which is what a proper argumentative thesis includes. Keep it in
third person whenever you can, especially if you’re asked for a formal or academic
paper.

How to Write Well under Pressure

Most people prefer to do their writing when they have the time to develop their
subject, but it often happens that you do not have the chance to write and revise as
you would like. Certainly, in your work life after school, you will often be required
to write to tight deadlines. Even now, you sometimes have to write under pressure.
For example, you may be given a last-minute assignment that must be done right
away, or even more likely, you may have to write an exam in-class for a course you
are taking.

Chapter 17 Answering the Question 177

NEL
 No matter what the circumstances, you want to be able to do the best writing you
can in the time you are given. For example, if you are given an essay question for a
final examination in a course, your first step should not be to begin writing. Instead,
you should take a few moments to analyze the question you have been given.

Strategies for Answering Timed In-Class Essay Questions

1. Understand the Question
Read the question twice. If you don’t understand it thoroughly, you have at least a
couple of choices. Ask the professor for clarification. If they, for whatever reason,
cannot help make it clear, go on to another question. Usually there’s some choice in
a test. If not, answer what you understand first; then come back to what you don’t
understand later. Maximize your chances for high marks.

2. Evaluate the Importance of the Question

All questions on a test are important as long as they are worth something. But some
questions may be worth more than others. Read the instructions associated with
individual questions to find out which ones are worth more. Decide, therefore,
how much time and writing you should devote to which questions depending on
their worth.

3. Figure Out Precisely What You Are Being Asked to Do

See the methods under “Frequently Used Terms in Essay Questions.”

4. Answer the Question Directly

Start with a one-sentence answer, using some words from the question where
appropriate before going into detail.
This will force you to focus your thoughts quickly. Once you can do this, you can
expand more easily in a way that is more organized.

5. Answer All Parts of the Question

This is another reason for reading the question more than once, to make sure that
you haven’t missed an important part of it.

6. Comply with the Length Requirements

Sometimes the length requirements change from one question to another. Don’t
make any assumptions. And don’t rely on your memory, especially when you’re
under pressure to write quickly. Instead of reading instructions just once, try
reading them three times: once before you begin, a second time in the middle of
your assignment to make sure you're on the right track, and once more after finishing
but before submitting the assignment, time permitting, to make sure you haven’t
missed anything.

178 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection NEL

 - Often, |jokingly warn my class that one day | will include in the middle ofa test's instructions
:the following sentence:“Ifyou write absolutely nothing for this test, you will receive a grade
* of 100 percent’
The funny thing is that |would expect no one to qualify because few students
. seem to read all the instructions these days. And that’s an easy way to throw away marks.
: Gary Lipschutz, lead author of The Canadian Writer's Workplace

Example of an Essay Question

Study the following essay question to determine exactly what is being asked for:

Describe the rise of the feminist movement in the 1960s in Canada.

Be specific.

If this were one of five short-essay questions on a final examination, the following
paragraph would probably be adequate.

The late 1960’s saw, in Canada and throughout the Western world, the
emergence of a new women’s movement. This new feminism rejected all
limits to the equality of women’s rights and showed that equality in daily
life could not be obtained through simple legal, political, or institutional
modifications. Discovering that “sisterhood is powerful,” women from
Vancouver to Halifax began forming groups. The Vancouver Women’s
Caucus was organized in 1968. The Montreal Women’s Liberation Movement
was founded in 1969, and the Front de liberation des femmes du Quebec
published a feminist manifesto in 1970. At first, some were consciousness-
raising groups, but others quickly turned to concrete action—providing access
to abortion services, health centres, militant theatre, daycare, shelters for
battered women, and rape crisis centres—and they began agitating for equal
pay. By the end of the 1960’s, Canada had begun to adjust to the rebirth of a
major social movement.

Frequently Used Terms in Essay Questions

There are five popular methods of developing an answer to an essay question:
definition, comparison and/or contrast, narration, summary, and discussion. The
following terms used in essay questions will help you determine which method the
professor is asking for.
Define: A definition is the precise meaning of a word or term. When you define
something in an essay, you usually write an extended definition in which you select
an appropriate example or examples to illustrate the meaning of a term. See more on
definition in Chapter 30, “Definition.”
Describe: To describe is to give an account of something (such as an accident):
to convey the sights, sounds, smells, events, etc., of something or someone; to
say what something or someone is like; to paint a mental picture of something
so readers can see it in their minds. See more on description in Chapter 29,
“Description.”

NEL
Chapter 17 Answering the Question 179
 Compare and/or contrast: When you compare two items, you point out
the similarities between them. When you contrast two items, you point out the
differences. Sometimes you may find yourself using both comparison and/or contrast
in an essay. See more about comparing and contrasting in Chapter 27, “Comparison
and Contrast.”
Narrate: To narrate is to tell a story by carefully relating a sequence of events
that are usually (but not always) given in chronological order. See more about
narration in Chapter 32, “Narration.”
Summarize: When you summarize, you supply the main ideas of a longer piece
of writing. A summary is a concise restatement, shorter than the source. When you
summarize or paraphrase, avoid copying the actual words and imitating the writer’s
style or sentence structure. Restate in your own words what the other writer has said.
For more on this subject, see Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing.
and Summarizing.”
Discuss: This is a general term that encourages you to write or have a
conversation about a subject at length. You might decide to argue both sides of an
issue or to investigate something. Asking students to discuss some aspect of a topic is
widely used in examination questions.
Explain: To explain is to make clear or understandable, define, or elaborate.
You might want to offer reasons for something, such as a person’s actions, beliefs,
or remarks. (Example: The detectives explained their plan to catch the burglars in
the act.)
Examine: To examine is to look at, inspect, or scrutinize carefully or in detail—to
investigate an issue or situation.
Analyze: When you are asked to analyze something, you must examine it
carefully and in detail to identify causes, key factors, and possible results. You might
have to separate it into its essential parts to discover the essence of the thing you are
analyzing.

Using the Thesis Statement in Essay Questions

Answering a Question in the Form of a Thesis Statement
One of the most effective ways to begin an answer to an essay question is to start with
a thesis statement that directly answers the question. Your thesis statement should
include the important parts of the question and should also give a clear indication of
the approach you intend to take in your answer.
For example, suppose you were going to write an essay in response to the
following question:

Why did the Liberals under Justin Trudeau win a minority government
in the federal election of 2019?

The following thesis sentence would be a basic but effective beginning:

Justin Trudeau’s Liberals won a minority government in the federal

election of 2019 for several reasons.

180 Unit 2 The Reading-Writing Connection

NEL
 The reader would then know that this was the topic you had chosen and would
also know how you intended to approach this topic.
Note: This is not a three-point thesis statement; it does not introduce all the
supporting points that will be included in the body paragraphs of the essay. But it is
worded in such a way that the reader might expect a few reasons to be introduced
immediately following the thesis in the form of a plan of development (POD). For
more on plans of development, see Chapter 20, “The Essay.”

Writing Thesis Statements

Answer each ofthe following questions in the form of a thesis staternent. Read each
question carefully and underline the important words or phrases in it. Then formulate
a thesis that is a one-sentence direct answer to the question. An example has been
done for you.

Essay question: How does one learn another language?

Thesis statement: The process of learning another language is complicated, but
usually follows four distinct stages.

1. Essay question: Should the Canadian government support young artists or not?

Thesis statement:

2. Essay question: What is the value of being able to speak two languages in
Canada?
Thesis statement:

3. Essay question: Is it harmful or beneficial to adopt a child from one culture and
raise this child in another culture?

Thesis statement:

4. Essay question: In what ways can the Canadian government discourage people
from smoking?

Thesis statement:

Chapter 17 Answering the Question 181

NEL
 advertising harmful, and, if so, should harmful
5, Essay question: Are some forms of
advertising be banned?

Thesis statement:

Methods of Development/Parts of a Question

Each ofthe following is an example of an essay question. In the spaces provided after
each, indicate (a) what method of development (definition, comparison and contrast,
narration, summary, discussion, analysis, description, explanation, etc.) is being called
for, and (b) how many parts there are to the question. This indicates how many parts
there should be in your answer. An example is done for you.

Example: What does the term sociology mean? Include in your answer at least four
different meanings the term has had since this area of study began.
Method of development: definition
Number of parts to the question: four

1. Compare the reasons Canada entered the Korean War and the reasons it entered
World War Il.
Method of development:
Number of parts to the question:
2. Briefly trace the history of spacecraft exploration of Mars, from the Viking missions
of the 1970s to the successful landing of the rover Curiosity on the surface of the
red planet in 2012. Include in your answer evidence for and against the presence
of water on Mars.
Method of development:
Number of parts to the question:
3. Contrast marriage customs in India with those in Canada.
Method of development:
Number of parts to the question:
4. Explain three effects of high temperatures on space vehicles as they reenter the
earth's atmosphere.
Method of development:
Number of parts to the question:
5. What was the process of building the transcontinental railway? Include in your
answer six different aspects of the construction, from laying the rails across the
Canadian Shield to the effects of the Riel Rebellion.
Method of development:
Number of parts to the question:

182 Unit2 The Reading-Writing Connection

NEL
 Practising Writing in Response to Reading
Unit V in this textbook contains the major readings of the book, including four
sections of questions for each reading. Often, when students realize they are going to
have to write a paragraph or an essay in response to a reading, they ask if they can do
some practice writing. Practice writing is an excellent way to prepare for an English
assignment. It’s not really considered studying for a test or exam. It’s better. And
most often it’s essential if you want to improve your mark.
First, find every piece of feedback your professor has already given you on your
writing in the course so far, including any diagnostic piece of writing you might have
done in the first class. Look for patterns. If your professor has mentioned on three
occasions that you have a tendency to include fragments in your writing, then this
should become a priority in your preparation for your next assignment. You know
that if you don’t do anything to learn how to eliminate fragments, there’s an excellent
chance you will end up including them again and getting a lower mark because of it.
Likewise, if your professor has mentioned more than once that your topic
sentences need to be more specific, then work on this also. Once you work on
eliminating your fragments and narrowing down your topic sentences, you might
be ready for some practice writing as your next step toward preparing for your next
writing assignment.
The fourth section of questions after every reading in Unit V is entitled “Writing
Ideas.” Every writing idea is like a separate writing assignment that requires either
a paragraph or an essay to be written in response to the reading that precedes these
four sections of questions. Even if your professor asks for a preliminary essay or an
extended paragraph rather than either an essay or a paragraph, just assume this is the
format being asked for here, too. This is an excellent way to practise for the writing
assignment you have to do next either in class or at home. Sometimes your professor
will encourage you to email your practice assignment to them. They might also offer
some feedback online as long as it is sent a few days before the next assignment is
due. If not, then at least show your practice writing to someone whose writing is
better than yours for feedback. This is still better than not preparing at all.

Working Together: Formulating Essay Questions

As a class, choose a newspaper or magazine article and distribute copies to everyone.
Then form groups of four or five, and ask every member to come up with at least
three questions about the article that they think a professor might ask in an exam.
As a group, discuss all the questions and decide which five are best. As a class, vote
for the group with the best questions.

NEL
Chapter 17 Answering the Question 183
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The Four Stages

of Writing fora
Paragraph or an
Essay

Few people can go to a desk and write a perfect composition from scratch without
giving any of it even a second look. Most people need to go about the writing process
in stages. This chapter introduces the writing process (for a paragraph or an essay)
in terms of four stages: (1) prewriting, (2) outlining, (3) the rough draft, and finally,
(4) postwriting (revising, editing, and proofreading). The chapter begins with some
prewriting techniques designed to generate writing ideas and ends with proofreading.
Revising and editing (other parts of stage four) are covered in this chapter, but are
also examined in more depth in Chapter 22 of this unit.

Stage One: Prewriting

How many times have you said, “I don’t know what else to write”? Well, what if
you really do have plenty to write about and simply don’t realize it? The following
prewriting techniques are designed to retrieve your thoughts and ideas and make
sense of feelings you might have so that you can start exploring them on paper. These
techniques include brainstorming, freewriting, keeping a journal, and clustering. Use
any, all, or none of them—whatever works for you.

Brainstorming
One of the best ways of collecting ideas is through brainstorming. Brainstorming is
simple—all you need is some time. It is best accomplished in groups of four or more
people, but the numbers aren’t as important as the generation of ideas.
Here’s how brainstorming works:

1. Compile a list of ideas, as many of them as you can.

2. Don’t criticize any idea initially. Assessing the ideas will come later. First, just
focus on generating several of them.

186 NEL
 3- If any ideas create objections, work on developing alternatives to the ideas rather
than simply discarding them.
4. Use ideas to stimulate discussion and to produce other ideas.
5- Make sure that everyone in the group completely understands the ideas.
6. Put your list of ideas aside for a while to think about them again with a fresh
mindset. This “back burner” process often generates other ideas.

When you brainstorm, allow your mind to roam freely around the topic, letting one idea lead to
another, even if the ideas seem unrelated or irrelevant. Jot down every word and phrase that pops
into your mind when you think about your topic.

Here is what a brainstorming process might look like.

First, identify a topic:

hockey

Then, what things come to mind when you think of this topic?

coaches referees
Stanley Cup drafts
Maple Leafs Vancouver Canucks

Now, you may want to pick out a couple of these ideas and combine them:

Maple Leafs and Stanley Cup

Expand the idea by reflecting on what you know and what you believe.

The Maple Leafs can’t seem to win the Stanley Cup.

At this point, a question might arise:

Why can’t the Leafs win the Stanley Cup?

Use a possible answer to suggest a topic sentence for a paragraph or a thesis

statement for an essay:

If they want to win the Stanley Cup, the Maple Leafs should commit
to a realistic long-term plan rather than continue to cater to the
demands of their short-sighted fans.

Freewriting
In freewriting, you don’t have to worry about spelling, grammar, focus, or
organization. You just write. Write whatever comes to mind. Let a force beyond
your control guide your pen, be it your unconscious, your heart, or the spirit
world. The goal here is to generate ideas for writing a composition at a later stage.
In the meantime, just have fun letting words explode onto your paper or screen.

NEL
Chapter 18 =The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 187
 Keeping a Journal
You may have kept some kind of diary in your childhood. Each entry might have
started with “Dear Diary” and continued with comments such as “I experienced my
first kiss today. It was awkward, but amazing.” Most diaries are logs of what goes
on in the daily lives of their writers. As students get older, their diaries may evolve
into journals that have a similar format but content with more depth and other
engaging qualities. For example, rather than mention everything you did yesterday
in last night’s diary entry, you might concentrate on one specific thing that struck
you forcefully. It might have been a dream you had that preoccupied you all day, or
perhaps something in a conversation you overheard between two other students in
front of you on the bus on the way to school. Perhaps this event or thought, whatever
it was, made you angry or sad or hopeful or, at the very least, contemplative, causing
one of your friends in the cafeteria, or your professor in class, to tell you to snap out
of your daze.

Let Your Emotions Serve as a Guide

Think of a teacher from your past whom you remember well. Chances are it was
someone who caused you to feel a great deal of emotion, either positive or negative.
It might have been a teacher who made you feel stupid—or it might have been one
who encouraged you to follow a certain path because of a talent she or he detected
in you that your parents never noticed or encouraged. Emotion is often associated
with memory. The same can be said for people whom you've dated in the past. You
may remember some partners more than others; those with whom you experienced
strong emotions are probably the ones you tend to remember the most, no matter
how long ago you were with them and no matter how long you might have dated.
Thus, your emotions can be your guide when it comes to choosing the topic of your
journal entries and, subsequently, your essays (i.e., if your professor gives you enough
freedom). What moves you, after all, may cause you to want to write more and will
give you more material to write about. You'll experience fewer writer’s blocks—fewer
occasions on which youre thinking, “I don’t know what else to write.”

Buy a Journal That Doesn’t Remind You of School

Are you a cat lover? Buy a journal with a hard cover on which there’s a picture of a
richly exotic Siamese cat! If it’s cars you're into, find a journal with a picture of a sexy
sports car on the cover. In any event, try to find something that you actually look
forward to writing in. Write every day or every night before you go to bed, or take
your journal with you in your knapsack so that you can record fresh ideas as they
come to mind throughout the day. Between classes, rather than call someone on your
cellphone, do some journal writing. Develop a relationship with your journal the
same way you would with a good novel that you find hard to put down. Do not allow
journal writing to turn into a regular assignment that you feel forced to do just for the
marks. Then it turns into meaningless drudgery, like too many things in life already
are. It should be, instead, a record of the journey of your mind!

188 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 If you prefer to type your entries on a computer rather than write them in a paper
journal, that’s fine, too. Do whatever makes you feel most comfortable and inspired.
Do whatever is likely to help you cultivate that relationship, not just the one with
your journal but also the one with yourself that you develop as you start to write on
a regular basis. Writing regularly in your journal not only can help you get in touch
with your feelings and solve your personal problems (for a personal journalling
exercise, see Working Together activity #3 at the end of the chapter), but it can also
help you start writing more quickly and fluently whenever you're asked to complete a
task that requires any writing at all.

Clustering (also Known as Diagramming or Mapping)

Many students are visual learners: they learn best by seeing something done rather
than by reading or even hearing about it (in a lecture, tapes, etc.). The same can be
said for generating ideas. Clustering is a kind of brainstorming that makes use of a
diagram (see Figure 18.1 for an example). To begin, identify a topic you either have
to or want to write about. Label it “main topic” and circle it. This topic becomes the
central idea of your clustering activity. Draw a line from that circle up to the left,
then another up to the right, and so on, and write out other ideas that are related in
some way to the central topic. Don’t allow yourself to think for too long about what
you will add to the diagram next; write down whatever comes to mind first. (Writing
something down does not bind you in any way to using it in your final text.) Continue
to expand the diagram, building on it in several directions. Eventually, certain ideas
will begin to take hold—to seem stronger than the others—depending on what is
familiar and important to you at the time.
Working from the cluster diagram, you could decide that youre interested in
competitive swimming, specifically in Canada’s own Penny Oleksiak. If you feel

Figure 18.1: Clustering

Swimming
Clustering is similar to
brainstorming except that
clustering is more visual. Let
one idea generate other more Swimming Penny Oleksiak
specific ideas based on what
you think of next, which may
be a result of questions that
arise. Excellent role model
Main Topic: Sports is vonhg people

¢ Did not give up after being

rejected by several swim clubs
¢ At 14, won 10 medals
e Youngest Canadian to become
an Olympic champion

NEL Chapter 18 The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 189
 strongly that Penny is an excellent role model for young people, this feeling could
provide a topic sentence for your paragraph.

Topic sentence: Penny Oleksiak is an excellent role model for young people
everywhere.
Then you might ask yourself the following question: Why is Penny an excellent role
model for young people?
The answer to this question might come in several parts, each of which can be
used as a supporting point for your paragraph:

Supporting points:

1. Despite being rejected by several swim clubs, Oleksiak did not give up her search
for a coach.
2. At the 2014 Canadian Age Group Championships, Oleksiak, then fourteen, won
ten medals: five gold, three silver, and two bronze.
3. At sixteen, Penny Oleksiak was the youngest Canadian to become an Olympic
champion, which she achieved at the 2016 summer Olympics in Rio de Janeiro.

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Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea

Some people don’t use any of the above prewriting techniques. And that’s fine. If you
can come up with a topic and a controlling idea (your attitude toward the topic) right
away, all the better. But remember, even if you can come up with a topic sentence for
a paragraph (or a thesis statement for an essay) without prewriting techniques, using
them can be helpful for other reasons, too, such as establishing a writing routine,
dealing with personal upsets and difficulties, and so on.

190 Unit3 =The Writing Process

NEL
 Jot down two or three different topics that appeal to you; for ideas, look through
the lists of topics found throughout Unit IV (look for the heading “Suggested Topics”
under “Assignment” for the various writing strategies in each chapter). From one of
these lists, select the topic you think would give you the best opportunity for writing.
Which one do you feel most strongly about? Which one do you know the most about?
Which one is most likely to interest your readers? Which one is best suited to being
developed into a paragraph or an essay?
Unit V in this text contains readings that are mostly nonfiction by Canadian
writers. Immediately following every reading, there are four sets of questions. Read
any piece in Unit V that appeals to you; then practise your paragraph or essay writing
by responding to one of the questions. Questions under the headings “Questions for
Discussion” and “Writing Ideas” are particularly useful for this purpose. Choose the
question you find most interesting.

Every Paragraph or Essay Must Be Persuasive

The word essay comes from the French verb essayer, which means “to try.” What does
a writer “try” to do in an essay? A writer tries to persuade the reader of a particular
point of view. Even if the essay is considered more expository (writing that explains
things) than argumentative, the writer still selects facts that they hope will lead the
reader to see things the way the writer does. Any essay—even a single paragraph—is an
exercise In persuasion. (For more on persuasion, see Chapter 25, “Argumentation.”)

Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)

Most texts on writing suggest elaborate outlines for paragraphs or essays, some of
which seem to be as long as the paragraphs or essays themselves. Here, however, we
suggest a very short outline, one that is clear and that saves you time. The pattern of
the outline for a paragraph is very similar to that for an essay.
This outline consists of four complete sentences, each of which will appear
exactly the same way within the final product.

Outline for a paragraph: Outline for an essay (of five paragraphs):

1. The topic sentence 1. The thesis statement

2. The first major supporting 2. The topic sentence of the second
sentence paragraph
3. The second major supporting 3. The topic sentence of the third
sentence paragraph
4. The third major supporting 4. The topic sentence of the fourth
sentence paragraph
Of course, by the time you've finished your composition, you may find that the
wording of some or all of these sentences has changed because of improvements
you've made along the way. The outline is meant to help you ensure that your writing
contains persuasive power. If your outline doesn’t seem logical, chances are, neither
will your composition.

NEL
Chapter 18 The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 191
 Stage Three: The Rough Draft
After you have applied a prewriting technique and organized the material into some
kind of order, the time has come to write a rough draft.
A rough draft is a first attempt at a piece of writing. The first attempt is “rough”
because it will undergo many changes before it is finished. Parts may be missing,
some paragraphs will probably lack sufficient detail, and some parts may be
repetitious or inappropriate. Some sentences will sound awkward, and you will
need to rewrite them later. The experienced writer expects all this and does not
worry. All that you should try to accomplish in the rough draft is to get down on
paper your initial ideas according to whatever plan you established in stages one
and two. These first ideas will provide the seeds that can be better developed
later on.
You may work on a rough draft alone, with a group, with a peer tutor, or
directly with your instructor. Below is a list of basic questions you should consider
at this most important stage of your work. (If any terms in this list are new to you,
see Chapter 19 for terms related to the paragraph, Chapter 20 for those related to
the essay, and Chapters 25 to 32 for those related to writing strategies.)

1. Does the rough draft satisfy the conditions for paragraph or essay form? Does it
have a topic sentence or thesis statement, adequate support, and a concluding
sentence or paragraph? Are there at least five sentences in every paragraph that
you've written, but not more than twelve?
2. Does your paragraph or essay contain the writing strategy of your choice, such
as narration, cause and effect, or description? Or does your essay combine
several strategies, a different one in each paragraph? Does your composition
focus on a single event rather than on a general situation? Where does the
action take place? Can the reader see it? What time of day, week, or year
is it?
ee). Have you put the details of the paragraph or essay in a logical order?
4. Does the paragraph or essay seem complete? When you read what you have
written, do any questions come to mind that you think should be answered in the
text? Is there any material that is irrelevant and should be omitted?
5. Except for what is required in openings and closings, are there sentences or
paragraphs that are repetitious?
6. Are there any places where you can substitute better verbs or nouns than the
ones you first chose? Can you add adjectives to give the reader better sensory
images?
|- Can you think of a better way to begin or end your paragraph or essay?
8. Can you show your draft to at least two other readers and ask them for
suggestions?

Once you have a first draft, you have something to work with. No longer is a
blank paper staring you in the face. This accomplishment is a great relief to most
writers, but remember, you are far from finished.

192 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 Stage Four: Postwriting (Revising, Editing,
and Proofreading)
If you have worked hard at revising the rough draft, you will be delighted with the
improvements as you write the second draft. For a detailed examination of this part
of the writing process, see Chapter 22, “Revising and Editing.”
Feedback is an important aid in each of the final stages of writing a paragraph
or essay. A good way to help yourself see your own work more clearly is to put the
writing aside for a little while, if you can. Then, read aloud what you have written to
someone else, or even just to yourself if no one else is available. You may be surprised
at the number of places where you will hear the need for a change.

Revising and Editing the Rough Draft

If you have time, put aside your rough draft for a day or two. Then, when you reread
it, you will look at it with a fresh eye. In this important revision stage, you should be
concerned with how you have organized your ideas. At this point, do not yet worry
about grammar, spelling, and punctuation.
Begin this important stage by asking these major questions:

1. Is the paragraph or essay unified? Do you stick to the topic you have announced?
Go through the text and take out irrelevant material.
2. Do you repeat yourself? Look back over your paragraph or essay to determine
whether you have given any information more than once. Even if you find you
have used different words, you should delete the repeated ideas.
3. Does the paragraph or essay make sense? Can a reader follow your logic, your
train of thought, and the course of events you describe? (Giving the rough draft to
someone else to read will often answer this question for you.) If the paragraph or
essay is confusing to the reader, you must find out where it goes wrong and why.
Sometimes when you read your writing out loud, you will feel that a sentence has
leaped to some point that doesn’t follow from the sentence before.
4. For an essay, are the paragraphs roughly the same length? For example, if you
see a one-sentence paragraph, you know something is wrong. You may need to
develop that paragraph more thoroughly, or the sentence may really belong with
the paragraph that comes before or after it. Aim to develop the point of each
paragraph using at least five sentences. The first and last paragraphs are usually
the shortest in the essay, but they still require approximately five sentences each.
Check through your essay. Is each paragraph long enough without being too
long? Do you need to change the paragraphing?
5. Do you have all the components essential to a paragraph, or all the types of
paragraphs essential to an essay? For an essay, do you have the introduction
with its thesis, at least three well-developed body paragraphs with transitional
devices used to connect ideas, and a concluding paragraph? For a paragraph,
do you have a topic sentence that contains the topic of the paragraph and its
controlling idea, several sentences providing strong supporting detail, anda
concluding sentence?

NEL
Chapter 18 =The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 193
 6. Can you add more specific details? Most writing instructors agree that nearly
every paper they read could be improved by adding more details, more
descriptive verbs, and more sensory images to make the writing come alive. You
should make sure there is sufficient detail throughout your paper. Remember,
however, that in an essay, none of the supporting detail should appear in your
introductory or concluding paragraphs.
. Can you add dialogue or a quotation from someone? A quotation, for example,
might make an excellent opening in the introductory paragraph of an essay.
(See Chapter 20, “The Essay.”) It might also serve as an excellent piece of
evidence within a supporting paragraph of an essay.
Can you make the introduction, conclusion, or title more creative? These
elements of writing are often not taken seriously enough by student writers.
These three items, in fact, are critical components of composition. The title
and introduction, in particular, serve to grab a reader’s attention. Have you
ever tried to read something that hasn’t caught your interest? It can be a
distressing and agonizing experience. The more time and effort you put into
these three elements, the more interesting and effective your writing is
likely to be.

Proofreading
An important step still remains. You must check each sentence to see that it is
correct, including grammar, spelling, and punctuation. In the rush to get a paper in
on time, this step is often overlooked. If you review each sentence by itself, starting
with the last and going backwards to the beginning, you will more easily be able to
consider the sentence structure and individual words apart from the other aspects
of the essay. Taking the time to look over a paper this way usually results in spotting
several sentence-level errors.
As a proofreading exercise, you might like to try correcting the errors of
grammar, spelling, and punctuation in the rough draft of the student essay in
Chapter 22, “Revising and Editing.”
Note: In many cases, professors will not accept handwritten work and you will be
expected to submit a paper produced on a computer. Do not forget to proofread your
work after it has been printed out; even if you have your paper typed for you, you are
still responsible for errors. If there are not too many errors, you can make corrections
neatly in ink on your printed copy before handing it in.

Proofreading
Check your rough draft for
* misspellings
¢ fragments or run-ons
¢ incorrect punctuation
* consistency of voice and tense
¢ verb problems
¢ agreement
* parallel structure

194 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 A checklist for the final preparation of a paragraph or essay follows.

Checklist for the Final Copy. ............

> 1. Use 8¥2- by 11-inch (21.5 by 28 cm) paper.
28 Type or write (whichever is required) on one side of the paper only, unless your instructor :
states otherwise.
. Double space.
. Leave margins approximately 1 inch (2.5 cm) wide on all sides of the paper (left, right,
top, and bottom).
. Do not hyphenate words at ends of lines without consulting a dictionary for the correct
division of words into syllables.
. Centre the title at the top of the first page.
. Put your name, the date, and the title of your paper on a separate title page, unless your
professor says otherwise.
. Ifyou have more than one page, number each one and staple or clip them all together in -
the upper left-hand corner so they will not be lost.

Working Together: Prewriting Activities

ils Imagine yourself in the following situation: you and your classmates are guidance
counsellors in a high school. You have been asked to produce a brochure entitled
“When a Young Person Quits School.” This brochure is intended for students who
are thinking of dropping out. You and the other counsellors meet to brainstorm
on the topic.
Divide into groups. Each group will brainstorm for fifteen minutes or so,
then come together again as a class. Make a final grouping of the ideas for this
topic on the board, then discuss them.
In groups or as a class, construct an outline for an essay to be called “When
a Young Person Quits School.” (You can use the information gathered in the
brainstorming activity if you’ve done #1 above.) Feel free to follow the suggestion
of a brief outline under “Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)” in this chapter.
. (If you think the following suggestion is too personal, feel free to try #1 or #2
above instead.) As a topic for a journal entry, think of a movie you've seen or a
dream you've had that you have found yourself thinking about over and over
again. It doesn’t matter how long ago you saw the movie or dreamt the dream
because your long-term memory can be quite selective and doesn’t always work
on the basis of time.
Describe in writing that part of the movie or dream that you seem to be
remembering repeatedly. It’s possible that this part you’re remembering may be
calling out to you to express it, to explore it, to somehow come to terms with it—
and perhaps most important, to learn something from it, something important
for you. After all, it’s not the movie that’s calling out to you. It’s something in
you that’s doing the calling, perhaps something in your unconscious—the part
programmed to tell the whole truth about who you are, what you should be
doing, where you should be going, and perhaps whom you should be seeing!

NEL
Chapter 18 =The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay 195
 After you write about the part of the movie or dream that you remember
the most, adding as much detail as you can, start to discuss how you feel. Then
try to explain where these feelings are coming from. Finally, explore what that
same place in your unconscious is trying to tell you about what you’re supposed
to learn from your preoccupation with that part of the movie or dream. You may
find yourself the wiser, and the preoccupation with that part of the movie or
dream may actually stop.
Describe the results of your activity to someone else in the class, and allow
your partner to ask you questions about it. Then listen and respond as your
partner discusses their results with you.

196 Unit3 The Writing Process

NEL
 The Paragraph

What Is a Paragraph?
DEFINITION
A paragraph is a group of sentences that develops one main idea. A paragraph may stand by itself
as a complete piece of writing, or it may be a section of a longer piece of writing, such as an essay.

No single rule will tell you how long a paragraph should be. An effective paragraph is
always long enough to develop the main idea being presented. If a paragraph is too
short, the reader will think basic information is missing; if it is too long, the reader
will be bored or confused. This textbook suggests, as a rule, that a healthy paragraph
should consist of at least five sentences and no more than twelve sentences. You have
undoubtedly read paragraphs in newspapers that are only one sentence long, but in
academic writing, this is considered unacceptable.

What Does a Paragraph Look Like?

Margins, new-paragraph indication, and complete sentences are essential parts of
paragraph form. Study the following paragraph from Elizabeth Pollet’s “A Cold-
Water Flat” to observe the standard form.

I got the job. I worked in the bank’s city collection department. For weeks, I
was like a mouse in a maze: my feet scurried. Every seventh day, I received
thirteen dollars. It wasn’t much. But, standing beside the pneumatic tube,
unloading the bundles of mail that pelted down and distributing them
according to their texture, size, and colour to my superiors at their desks, I
felt humble and useful.

NEL 197
 A margin of adequate width is used on each side of the text (for a manuscript
page, this margin should be 2.5 cm or 1 inch). If another paragraph is added, make
sure there is proper indication of the new paragraph. If the first line of the first
paragraph is indented (as in the example on the previous page), ensure the first
line of the second paragraph is also indented. If you follow the full-block style (no
indentation of the first line of a paragraph), then make sure you skip a line between
paragraphs. If you’re already double spacing, skip two lines between paragraphs.
If you neither indent the first line of your paragraph nor skip an extra line between
paragraphs, the reader cannot be expected to know where one paragraph ends and
the next one begins.
You will note that the layout of this book follows a different format than that
suggested for your essays. In this book, the first line of the first paragraph of any
section is not indented even if the first line of any subsequent paragraph is. The book
industry has its own standards and norms relating to page layout.
Figure 19.1 illustrates the structure of the paragraph.
Note: Any space left over at the end of the last line of a paragraph does not, in
itself, properly indicate the end of a paragraph. As mentioned, proper indication of a
paragraph means either indenting the first line of each one or skipping a line (or two
lines, if you’re already double spacing) between paragraphs.

What Is a Topic Sentence?

DEFINITION
A topic sentence states the main idea of the paragraph. It contains the topic of the paragraph
and a controlling idea (the writer's attitude toward the topic). It is the most general sentence of
the paragraph. All the other sentences of the paragraph serve to explain, describe, extend, or
support the controlling idea in the topic sentence.

Most paragraphs you read will begin with a topic sentence. However, some
topic sentences come in the middle of the paragraph and some come at the end.
Occasionally, a paragraph has no stated topic sentence at all; in these cases,
the main idea is implied. You are advised to use topic sentences in all your
paragraphs to be certain that your writing stays focused and develops a single
idea at a time. Whether you are taking an essay exam in a history course, doing a
research paper for a sociology course, or writing an essay in a composition course,
thoughtful use of the topic sentence will always bring better results. Good topic
sentences help both the writer and the reader to think clearly about the main
points.
The paragraph that follows makes a point, which is stated in its topic sentence.
Read the paragraph and notice how the topic sentence is the most general sentence;
it presents the main idea of the paragraph. The other sentences explain, describe,
extend, or support the topic sentence.

198 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

| Two Paragraph Types
Regular and Extended Paragraphs
A regular paragraph has about five to seven
TOPIC SENTENCE | TOPIC SENTENCE sentences. An extended paragraph is longer
(about eight to twelve sentences) because it

REGULAR has more supporting detail. The supporting

EXTENDED detail of aparagraph is made up of sentences
(About 5-7 sentences that directly support the topic sentence. These
including the topic sentences may be main supporting sentences,
a Gent uueion (About 8-12 sentences or they may be specific examples. Some instruc-
% Bree nae roptc tors require a concluding sentence, especially
sentence)
GONGEU DING@iweares| ~~ (ebeesee ree ee eee eee when the paragraph stands alone is there room
SENTENCE for these 3 section to be formatted in the same
CONCLUDING style and font treatment as the first two
SENTENCE sections? If so please make them the same. See
Sample Paragraph (Regular): "The Concluding Sentence" later in this chapter.
The Value of Friends Topic Sentence
A topic sentence includes two things: a topic
and a controlling idea. The controlling idea is the
is that of friends,/Like leaving home to seek greater knowledge of
ourself, picking your own friends from a greater number of people can attitude or position of the writer of the paragraph
aid in your journey to seek self-knowledge
[after all,ifyou go out with toward the topic identified in the topic sentence.
the same group of small town friends all the time, not because you
The controlling idea gives direction to the
necessarily like them all that much but because they’re the only ones
available, this can prove quite limiting when it comes to your growth as paragraph.
The topic sentence does not always
an individual. The big city,(on
the other hand) offers an endless number of appear first in a paragraph, but until you are
opportunities to meet people of like interests. You’re much more likely to
cultivate relationships with people who help you to grow.
well practised, place the topic sentence first. See
“What Is a Topic Sentence?"on previous page.

Transitions

Transitional words or phrases

are used to organize the para- Paragraph Indication

graph better and to make the There are only two ways to indicate a new
paragraph flow more smoothly. paragraph:
| 1. Indent the first line of the paragraph
| Stands On Its Own (see sample paragraph above), or
2. Skip a line before starting the next
Any paragraph, even ifit is part of a paragraph. If you are already double-
longer work such as an essay, should spacing your work, skip two lines, instead of |
be able to stand on its own, just as a one, before starting the next paragraph.
|sequel of an original movie should.
| A i

Figure 19.1: Structure of the Paragraph

The model paragraph is from the essay “City Life Beats the Small Town Blues” (see Chapter 27).

Model Paragraph: Let’s Junk it!

We are the great “let’s junk it” society! Mountains of disposable diapers are
thrown into garbage cans every day. Tonnes of yogurt containers, pop cans,
and plastic items are discarded without so much as a stomp to flatten them
out. If the old Chevy is not worth fixing, tow it off to sit with thousands of

NEL Chapter 19 The Paragraph 199

 others on hectares of fenced-in junkyards. Televisions, dishwashers,
and toasters get the same treatment because it is easier and often less
expensive to buy a new product than to fix the old one. Who wants a
comfortable old sweater if a new one can be bought on sale? No thought
is given to the fact that the new one will look like the old one after two or
three washings. After all, what’s bad for the environment is probably good
for the economy!

All the examples in this paragraph support the topic sentence, which states that
we are a “throwaway” society. Although the concluding sentence does not repeat the
topic sentence in this case, it gives the paragraph a sense of closure.

Practice 1 Finding the Topic Sentence of a Paragraph

Each ofthe following paragraphs contains a topic sentence that states the main idea
of the paragraph. Find this sentence and underline it. Check your answers against
those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

ir Love is a crazy, complicated affair, made trickier by the tangle of superstitions

that go along with it. According to the book Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat,
you must pull a hair from the head of the one you love to make that person love
you back. Or you can offer your loved one a glass of lemonade in which you
have soaked your toenail clippings, or a bowl of soup to which you have added
three drops of your blood. Once your sweetheart has devoured either of these
concoctions, they will love you always.
The brain is one of the most remarkable organs, a part of the body that we
have only begun to investigate. It will be years before we start to understand
all its complex processes. When you remember something, your brain
uses more than one method to store the information. You have short-term
memory, which helps you recall recent events; you have long-term memory,
which brings back items that are further in the past; and you have deep
retrieval, which gives you access to long-buried information that is sometimes
difficult to recall. Whether these processes are chemical or electrical, we do
not yet know, and much research remains to be done before we can say
which with any certainty.

How Do You Find the Topic in a Topic Sentence?

To find the topic in a topic sentence, ask yourself this question: What topic is the
writer going to discuss? Below are two topic sentences. The first topic is underlined.
Underline the topic in the second example.

Backpacking in the mountains last year was an exciting experience.

College registration can be stressful.

200 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 Practice 2 Finding the Topic in the Topic Sentence

Find the topic in each ofthe following topic sentences. For each example, ask yourself
this question: What topic is the writer going to discuss? Then underline the topic.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, ‘Answer Key to Practices.”

Remodelling an old house can be frustrating.

College work demands more independence than high school work.
A well-made suit has three easily identified characteristics.
Growing up near a museum had a profound influence on my life.
My favourite room in the house would seem ugly to most people.
gS A student who goes to school full time and also works part tire has to make
ek
ON
IS)
careful use of every hour.
7. One of the disadvantages ofskiing is the expense.
8. When we met for dinner that night, |was shocked at the change that had come
over my friend.
9. According to the report, current tax laws greatly benefit those who own real estate.
10. Greek restaurants, to the delight of many Canadians, can be found in most of
our cities.

What Is a Controlling Idea?

Every topic sentence contains not only the topic, but also a controlling idea.

DEFINITION :
The controlling idea tells us the position the writer has taken on the topic. It gives the paragraph
direction. It is the writer's attitude toward the topic.
Example: Her trip to Kenya was exciting.

For example, in the topic sentence “Backpacking in the mountains last year was
an exciting experience,” the topic is backpacking and the controlling idea is that
this backpacking trip was exciting. Another person on the same trip might have
had another attitude toward the experience. The person might have found the trip
exhausting or boring. A single topic can therefore have any number of possibilities
for development, since the writer can choose from a limitless number of controlling
ideas, depending on their attitude.

How Do You Find the Controlling idea of a Topic Sentence?

When you look for the controlling idea in a topic sentence, ask yourself this question:
What is the writer’s attitude toward the topic?
In each of the following examples, the topic is underlined and the controlling idea
is circled:

The Bay is my store in town.

The Bay is for my budget.

NEL
Chapter 19 = The Paragraph 201
 Finding the Controlling Idea

Below are seven topic sentences. For each sentence, underline the topic and circle
the controlling idea. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to
Practices.’

Vigorous exercise is a good way to reduce the effect of stress on the body.
St. John’s and Corner Brook differ in four major ways.
Many so-called wonder foods are less than wonderful.
The number of athletic scholarships available to women is increasing.
Caffeine has several adverse effects on the body.
Madame Benoit, a famous gourmet cook, had an amusing personality.
>
ww
SS
OreComputers will make newspapers obsolete in ten years.

Choosing Your Own Controlling Idea

Professors often assign one general topic on which all students must write. Likewise,
when writing contests are announced, the topic is sometimes the same for all
contestants. But it is much less likely that all papers will have the same controlling
idea. There could be as many controlling ideas as there are people to write them. The
secret of writing a good topic sentence is to use a controlling idea that strongly and
accurately expresses your attitude or feeling toward the topic.

Choosing Controlling Ideas for Topic Sentences

Below are two topics. For each topic, think of three different possible controlling
ideas, and then write a different topic sentence for each of these controlling ideas.
An example is done for you.

Topic: My mother
Three possible controlling ideas:
1. Unusual childhood
2. Silent woman
3. Definite ideas about alcohol
Three different topic sentences:
1. My mother had a most unusual childhood.
2. My mother is a very silent woman.
3. My mother has definite ideas about alcohol.
1. Topic: My neighbourhood
Controlling idea A:
Topic sentence A:

Controlling idea B:
Topic sentence B:

Controlling idea C
Topic sentence C:

Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 2. Topic: The Internet
Controlling idea A:
Topic sentence A:

Controlling idea B:
Topic sentence B:

Controlling idea C:
Topic sentence C:

Further Practice Writing the Topic Sentence

Develop each ofthe following topics into a topic sentence. In each case, the
controlling idea is missing. First, decide on an attitude you might take toward the
topic. Then use that attitude to write your topic sentence. When you are finished,
underline your topic and circle your controlling idea. Make sure your topic sentence is
a complete sentence and not a fragment. An example has been done for you.

Topic: My brother's car accident xe

Controlling idea: Tragic results
Topic sentence: My brother's car accident had
for the entire family.
1. Topic: Sending email
Controlling idea:
Topic sentence:

2. Topic: Two years in the armed forces

Controlling idea:
Topic sentence:

3. Topic: Making new friends

Controlling idea:
Topic sentence:

4. Topic: Working as a server

Controlling idea:
Topic sentence:

5. Topic: Going ona diet

Controlling idea:
Topic sentence:

NEL
Chapter 19 =The Paragraph 203
 What Is a Supporting Detail?

A supporting detail is a piece of evidence used by the writer to make the controlling idea of the
topic sentence convincing to the reader.

After you have constructed your topic sentence with its topic and controlling idea,
you are ready to move on to supporting your idea with details. These details will
convince your readers that what you are claiming in the topic sentence is believable
or reasonable.

The Structured Approach

Some instructors require a more structured approach than others when it comes to
developing supporting details for a paragraph. This textbook recommends a structured
approach. Once you become familiar with the structured approach, you are more likely
to be able to take liberties without sacrificing necessary paragraph development.

Two Types
Supporting details can be broken down into two basic types, both of which should be
present in every paragraph to make it effective (see Figure 19.2):

1. Main supporting sentence

2. Example sentence (or extended example, which is, simply, a longer example)

[ee ae re ‘7 —— |
Figure 19.2: Sample
Sample Outline of Extended Paragraph
Extended Paragraph (with Supporting Details)
Outline (with Supporting
Details) Topic Sentence

Not every main

Main Supporting Sentence #1
supporting sentence
needs an example to
| Example Sentence support it. And not
every example needs
to be one sentence
Main Supporting Sentence #2 (especially in the case
of extended examples). |
But generally, this is the
Example Sentence pattern of supporting
detail.
Main Supporting Sentence #3

Extended Example
(2 Sentences)

Concluding Sentence

204 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 For a sample paragraph showing a breakdown of main supporting sentences
and their examples, see the section entitled “Supporting Detail Type 2: Examples
(Example Sentences).”

Supporting Detail Type 1: Main Supporting Sentences

A main supporting sentence contains a main point that directly supports the topic sentence
of the paragraph. A paragraph may have only one main supporting sentence or it may have
several.

The first type of supporting detail is the main supporting sentence. This type of detail
usually follows the topic sentence immediately. The main supporting sentences
contain the main points within the paragraph that support the topic sentence directly.
They are often distinguished by the fact that they contain not only main points, but
also appropriate transitions; these include (but are by no means limited to) first,
second, third, and finally. (For a more extensive list of common transitions, see the
inside of the back cover.) There is no definitive proper number of main supporting
sentences for a paragraph, but instructors generally like the number three,
corresponding to three main points per paragraph. A main supporting sentence is
often followed by the second type of supporting detail: an example that directly
supports the main supporting sentence.
The following extended paragraph is taken from Chapter 28, “Process” about
what it takes to get a good night’s sleep. It begins with a clear topic sentence, which is
then followed by several strong supporting details.

Te process of gestinga good night's sleep depends on several factors. First,

ct. Be sure the room temperature is

better than blankets made of synthetic material. Similarly, a firm pillow is best; after
all, one that is too soft can cause a stiff neck and lead to a night of poorey ales.

candy bars or alts the sugar they contain acts as a stimulant. aeanas
py. Do something relaxing until you are tired. In
conclusion,
everything you do can have an effect on how well you sleep.

Notice that the topic sentence gives us the topic (a good night’s sleep) and the
writer’s attitude toward the topic (that it depends on several factors). Each sentence
that follows this topic sentence is a supporting detail that convinces us that the
controlling idea is a reasonable attitude.
The following shows the breakdown of the topic sentence and the main
supporting sentences that support it directly. Example sentences have been omitted
for now.

NEL
Chapter 19 The Paragraph 205
 Topic sentence: The process of getting a good night’s sleep
depends on several factors.
First main supporting sentence: First, the conditions in your bedroom must
be correct.
Second main supporting sentence: Next, pay attention to your bed and how it
is furnished.
Third main supporting sentence: Also, keep in mind that what and how you
eat are part of the process of preparing
for bed.
Fourth main supporting sentence: Finally, do not go to bed until you are sleepy.
Note the transitions that begin each main supporting sentence: first, next, also, and
finally.

Finding the Topic Sentence and Main Supporting Sentences

Read the following paragraph. Write down the topic sentence, then list the main
supporting sentences.

Loneliness comes at any time. It comes in times of sickness or when friends are
absent. It comes during sleepless nights when the heart is heavy, during times of
failure at work or in relationships. It comes when we lose trust in ourselves and in
others. In old age, loneliness can rise up and threaten to overwhelm us. At such
+
times, life can lose its meaning. Loneliness can feel like death.

Jean Vanier, “Heart of Loneliness”

Supporting Detail Type 2: Examples (Example Sentences)

DEFINITION
An example supports (and therefore normally follows) a main supporting sentence. It is a very
specific illustration or piece of evidence—more specific than the main supporting sentence it
supports. Examples make general ideas more concrete and therefore easier to comprehend and
remember. An example may be part of asentence, it may be an entire sentence on its own, or it
may be more than one sentence long.

The same paragraph that was used to illustrate main supporting sentences can be
used to demonstrate what examples can look like.

The phocess of getting a good night's sleep depends on several factors. First, the

206 Unit3 The Writing Process

 Finally, do not go to bed until you are sleepy. Do something relaxing until you are tired.
In conclusion, everything you do can have an effect on how well you sleep.

Here is the breakdown of the topic sentence and main supporting sentences
again, but this time, the example sentences are also included. Notice how they come
after each main supporting sentence, providing even more specific information.

Topic sentence: The process of getting a good night’s

sleep depends on several factors.
First main supporting sentence: First, the conditions in your bedroom
must be correct.
Example sentence: Be sure the room temperature is around
18°C and the room is as quiet as possible.
Second main supporting sentence: Next, pay attention to your bed and
how it is furnished.
Example sentences: For example, a firm mattress is best,
and wool blankets are better than
blankets made of synthetic material.
Similarly, a firm pillow is best; after all,
one that is too soft can cause a stiff neck
and lead to a poor night of sleep.

(Note that the above passage actually contains three examples made up of a total of
two sentences. )

Third main supporting sentence: Also, keep in mind that what and
how you eat are part of the process of
preparing for bed.
Example sentences: For example, do not go to bed hungry,
but do not overeat, either. And avoid
candy bars or cookies; the sugar they
contain act as a stimulant.

(Note that the third main supporting sentence above is followed by two sentences
made up of three examples. The sentence, starting with “For example, do not go to
bed” is followed by another sentence that contains a more specific example than
those in the first sentence.)

Fourth main supporting sentence: Finally, do not go to bed until you are
sleepy.
Example sentence: Do something relaxing until you are tired.

Examples may be given in more than one way. They may appear as lists of specific items
to illustrate a particular point, or they may be written as extended examples.

An extended example includes a lengthy description or story that supports a main supporting
sentence. It is usually several sentences long (or even an entire paragraph long in an extended
piece of writing such as an essay).

NEL
Chapter 19 The Paragraph 207
 A good piece of writing is filled with both kinds of examples—specific items and
extended examples—that fit together to create a well-developed, convincing whole .
Read the following paragraph on the terminology used in weather forecasting.
As you read, look for different examples that show how listening to the weather
forecast can be a challenge.

Model Paragraph: The Shortcomings of Forecasting

Not only are weather forecasters often wrong with their forecasts, but they
speak a language that only the most knowledgeable meteorologist can
understand. For the average television viewer or radio listener, a dictionary is
a necessity when listening to the weather forecast. “Watch out for the Alberta
Clipper, folks. It’s coming this way!” seems to be part of the forecasters’ lexicon
in the winter. Or maybe it’s the summer. In any case, what is an Alberta
Clipper? Are we supposed to hide under a table when it approaches? I’ve
never understood the term, nor have I understood the significance of the dew
point or a temperature inversion. How could I ever understand these terms
when no one has ever defined them for me? Yet they roll off the tongues of
weather forecasters as if everyone should know what is happening. The relative
humidity mystifies me, as do troughs and ridges of pressure. I know one thing,
however: if the forecast is for a sunny day, be sure to take an umbrella.

Finding Examples

Analyze the model paragraph “The Shortcomings of Forecasting.”What kind(s) of

examples can you find in the paragraph?

Finding Examples

Find a newspaper or magazine article on a subject that interests you. Examine

the article for paragraphs containing lists of examples and paragraphs containing
extended examples. How has the writer made the article interesting and memorable
through the use of examples?

Qualities of Good Supporting Detail

What makes a good supporting detail? Whether it is a supporting sentence or an
example, a supporting detail is stronger if it has these characteristics: it is based on
fact, not opinion; it is specific; and it shows respect for other points of view. Your
writing will be stronger if, while choosing details to include in your paragraph, you
keep these qualities in mind. Each is discussed in more detail below.

State Facts

When you choose your supporting details, focus on facts rather than opinion. Readers
do not necessarily have to agree with the point of view you present in your topic
sentence or thesis statement, but your supporting details should be accurate and
numerous enough to convince your readers to respect your position. You are likely

208 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 not the only one who has knowledge of a particular subject, so be sure that you don’t
present vague assertions that leave you open to contradiction. For example, if you
have had many problems with a particular make of car and want to write a paragraph
detailing its faults, remember to state exactly what happened; don’t rely on further
opinions to support your initial opinion.

Use Specific Examples

Remember that specific details tend to stay in readers’ minds much longer than
general ideas. The statement that “42,600 males died of cancer in Canada in the year
2017” is much more effective and memorable than “cancer has killed many people.”
Specific details also make a piece of writing more interesting. When the reader has
concrete objects, particular people, or recognizable places to hang on to, the contents
of the writing become a pleasure to read.
The more precise your examples, the more clearly they will illustrate your points.
For example, in the model paragraph “The Shortcomings of Forecasting,” above, the
specific example “Watch out for the Alberta Clipper, folks!” backs up very clearly
the statement in the preceding supporting sentence that “a dictionary is a necessity
when listening to the weather forecast.”
See also the section entitled “How Do You Make Supporting Details Specific?”
later in this chapter.

Respect Other Points of View

While you hope to convince your reader that what you are saying is true and worthy
of belief, remember that no matter how good your supporting sentences and
examples are, they might not convince some readers who may have education and
experience that you lack. So don’t preach to the reader or imply in your tone that your
point of view is the only one that is valid.

Avoid Restating the Topic Sentence

One of your most important jobs as you write a paragraph is to recognize the
difference between a genuine supporting detail (either a main supporting sentence or
an example sentence) and a simple restatement of the topic sentence. The following
is a poorly constructed paragraph; its sentences merely restate the topic sentence,
which has been underlined:

Time Captured in a Picture (I)

Mygrandmother’s photograph dates from a period when she and her family
came to live in St. Petersburg. I like to look at the photograph and wonder
about how life was in those days. From the clothes that my grandmother is
wearing in the old photograph, it looks as if she is ready for a formal occasion.
It is difficult to tell, though, because the photograph is old and faded. I don’t
think she enjoyed formal occasions.

NEL
Chapter 19 = The Paragraph 209
 The supporting sentences tell the reader very little about the period in which the
photograph was taken. There is no description given of the clothing or why the writer
might feel that it was a formal occasion. And even though the photograph is old and
faded enough that details can’t be seen, the writer assumes that their grandmother
isn’t having a good time.
By contrast, the following paragraph, from Michael Ignatieff's The Russian
Album, has good supporting details:

Time Captured in a Picture (II)

In the family album there is a photograph of my grandmother, Natasha

Ignatieff, that dates from the period when she and her family came to live in
St. Petersburg in the dark and cluttered apartment two blocks from the Neva
river. She is dressed for a formal winter evening, a fox fur draped over her
shoulders. Brussels lace [decorates] the bodice of her velvet gown, her hair
[is] swept back in a tight chignon, and a twelve-strand pearl choker [hugs] her
stiffly upright neck. She is thin and pale, the cheekbones of her long angular
face taking the light, the eyes deep-set and dark. Her expression is guarded,
and she seems at odds with the occasion. She was a private soul: in the public
glare, she shrank back. She hated Petersburg society: paying courtesy calls on
the wives of Paul’s superiors, making curtsies and small talk and all the while
feeling she was up on a high wire one step from a fall.

Ignatieffs paragraph has vivid illustrations of life in Russia during his

grandmother’s time. In the first place, naming her gives a personal element to the
paragraph. His descriptions of the apartment (“dark and cluttered”), her formal
wear (“fox fur,” “Brussels lace,” “twelve-strand pearl choker”), and her appearance
29 66

(“hair [is] swept back,” “thin and pale,” “cheekbones of her long angular face”) all
29 6 99 66

support the overall topic: the photograph mentioned in the first sentence. The author
provides concrete evidence to back up his statement that she hated St. Petersburg
society: her “guarded” expression, the fact that she was a “private soul,” and her
feeling of being “on a high wire one step from a fall.” These details give a clarity and
personality to the discussion of the old picture in this paragraph.

Practice 4 Avoid Restating the Topic Sentence

Each ofthe topic sentences below is followed by four additional sentences.

Three of these additional sentences contain acceptable supporting details, but
one of the sentences is simply a restatement ofthe topic sentence. In the space
provided, identify each sentence as either SD (if it supplies supporting detail) or R
(ifitis a restatement). Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key
to Practices.’

1. lam surprised at myself when | think how neat | used to be before | started school
full time.
a. In my closet, | had my clothes arranged in matching outfits with
shoes, hats, and even jewellery to go with them.

210 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 Bee Tae: til3 lways used to take great pride in having all my things in order.
eee Cet | opened my desk drawer, compartments of paper clips, erasers,
staples, pens, pencils, stamps, and rulers greeted me without one lost
nickel or safety pin thrown in out of place.
d. On top of my chest of drawers sat a comb and brush, two oval
frames with pictures of my best friends, and that was all.
2. Iceland has a very barren landscape.
a. One-tenth ofthe island is covered with ice.
b. Not one forest with magnificent trees is to be found.
c. Nature has not been kind to the people of Iceland.
d. Three-fourths of the island is uninhabitable.

Exercise 6 Distinguishing a Supporting Detail from a Restatement of the Topic Sentence

Each ofthe topic sentences below is followed by four additional sentences. Three
of these additional sentences contain supporting details, but one of the sentences
is simply a restatement ofthe topic sentence. In the space provided, identify each
sentence as SD for supporting detail or R for restatement.

1. In the last thirty years, the number of people living alone in Canada has increased
by 400 percent.
a Pe ople are living alone because the number ofdivorces has
dramatically increased.
b. Many young people are putting off marriage until they are financially
more secure or emotionally ready.
c. More and more Canadians are finding themselves living alone.
d. An increasing segment of our population is in the over-65 age group,
which includes many widows and widowers.
2. Writing as Sand ra Field and Jocelyn Haley, romance author JillMacLean makes
love pay the bil S
a. Her first book, To Trust
My Love, was published by Harlequin.
Se ell || received a royalty cheque of about $1800 for her first book.
eer ee Sf e is the author of over 70 full-fledged romance novels.
ee
ene (9) MacLean writes love stories under two pen names.

How Do You Make Supporting Details Specific?

Students occasionally write paragraphs that are made up of only general statements.
When you read such paragraphs, you doubt the author’s knowledge and you suspect
that the point being made may have no basis in fact. Here is one such paragraph that
never gets off the ground.

Don’t Trust Doctors (I)

Doctors are terrible. They cause more problems than they solve. I don’t believe
most of their treatments are necessary. History is full of the mistakes doctors

NEL
Chapter 19 =The Paragraph 211
 have made. We don’t need all those operations. We should never ingest all those
drugs doctors prescribe. We shouldn’t allow them to give us all those unnecessary
tests. I’ve heard plenty of stories that prove my point. Doctors’ ideas can kill you.

Here is another paragraph on the same topic. This paragraph is much more
interesting and convincing because the general statements have been changed
throughout the essay to supporting details.

Don’t Trust Doctors (II)

Evidence shows that “medical progress” has been the cause of tragic
consequences and even death for thousands of people. X-ray therapy was
thought to help patients with tonsillitis. Now many of these people are found to
have developed cancer from these X-rays. Not so long ago, women were kept
in bed for several weeks following childbirth. Unfortunately, this cost many
women their lives, since they developed fatal blood clots from lying down day
after day. One recent study estimates that 34 000 people each year die from the
side effects of drugs that were prescribed by doctors. Recently, the Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention reported that 25 percent of the tests done by
clinical laboratories were done poorly. All this is not to belittle the good done by
the medical profession, but to impress on readers that it would be foolish to rely
totally on the medical profession to solve all our health problems.

This second paragraph is much more likely to be of real interest to a reader. Even
if someone disagreed with the author’s point, it would be very hard to dismiss these
supporting details, which are based on facts and information that can be researched.
Because the author sounds reasonable, readers can respect her or him even if they
have a different position on the topic.
In writing effectively, the ability to go beyond the general statement and get
to accurate pieces of information is what counts. A writer who has a statistic, a
quotation, a historical example, or a descriptive detail can use this item to clarify the
theme. If the examples are well chosen, readers should want to share with everyone
the surprising information they have just learned.
Good writing is filled with supporting details that are specific, correct, and
appropriate for the subject. Poor nonfictional writing is filled with generalizations,
stereotypes, vagueness, untruths, or insults.

Creating Main Supporting Sentences

Here are five topic sentences. Supply three main support sentences for each one.
Be sure each sentence is specific, not general or vague. Add appropriate transitions.

1. Jim's entire wardrobe should be burned.

a.

b.
e

Z12 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 2. The Internet is more valuable than television.

a.

b.
€

3. Dr. Kline is an easy instructor,

a.

b.
4. It is difficult to stop eating junk food.

a.

b.
e

5. Learning another language will make your life richer.

a.

b.
e

Exercise 8 Creating Examples

After completing Exercise 7, in which you were asked to create main supporting
sentences, add an example sentence for every main supporting sentence you wrote.
Again, add appropriate transitions such as for example or for instance.

The Concluding Sentence

Some instructors will require that you add a concluding sentence to your
paragraph, especially if you’re writing a paragraph that stands on its own and not
as part of a larger essay. The concluding sentence should give the paragraph a
sense of closure. It should be logical and appropriate. It may or may not restate
the topic sentence, but it must not introduce new evidence (supporting detail).
It should be more general than the sentences that provide supporting detail. It
also should be the last sentence in the paragraph. Look back over the two sample
paragraphs entitled “Don’t Trust Doctors” (I and IJ) in the previous section. Find
the concluding sentence in each paragraph. Notice that in one case, the controlling
idea of the concluding sentence seems a bit stronger than that of the topic sentence,
and in the other case it seems a bit weaker. Either way, however, the concluding
sentence reinforces the original controlling idea and does not contradict it.

NEL
Chapter 19 =The Paragraph 213
 Concluding Sentences : atid ‘ OWA Dee ots G pielabaiw Dablmiele eas ve

A concluding sentence

* does not contain new evidence

e is more general than any individual supporting detail
e should be the last sentence in the paragraph
° restates, or at least reinforces, the controlling idea established in the topic sentence (and,
therefore, does not contradict the controlling idea of the paragraph)
* gives the paragraph closure
° may offer a final commentary on the paragraph

Sample Outline Format

Now that you have learned what all the components of a good paragraph are, it is
time to piece them all together. What follows is an outline format that can be used
for an extended paragraph. How many main supporting sentences to include,
how many examples to back up each one, and how many sentences it takes to present
each example will depend on the content and on what evidence comes to mind when
you are writing. So the following format is merely a suggested one to help you see
how everything might fit together. Use it if it can help guide you as you're practising
paragraph development.
For a reminder of the difference between main supporting sentences and
examples, review the section entitled “Two Types,” earlier in this chapter.

Topic sentence:

Main supporting sentence #1:

Example: (2 sentences)

Main supporting sentence #2:

Example: (2 sentences)

Main supporting sentence #3:

Continued on next page...

214 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 Example: (1 sentence)

Concluding sentence:

Total: 10 sentences (extended paragraph)

Working Together: Controlling Ideas

and Supporting Details

1. While doing the various exercises in this chapter, you have written many topic
sentences. Choose one of your best sentences and put it on the board. Read the
sentences that other students write on the board; choose one, and underline
the topic and circle the controlling idea. If you think the sentence needs
improvements, write your own version underneath the original so the class can
compare and contrast them.
2. Every topic contains numerous possibilities for controlling ideas. Take, for
example, the topic of education. Think for a moment and jot down one or two
controlling ideas that come to your mind regarding this topic. Then, as a class,
share your ideas (one student could list all the different controlling ideas on the
blackboard). Finally, select one of the controlling ideas on the board (it doesn’t
have to be one you generated) and use it as the basis for a paragraph.
3. Divide into groups. As a group, select one of the topic sentences in Exercise 7.
Together, make a list of as many supporting details or examples as you can. Then,
working individually, write a paragraph selecting details from the list prepared
by your group. Share your paragraph with the other members of your group and
read everyone else’s. Be sure to give every member enough time to read all the
group’s papers. Then discuss the various paragraphs that have been written.
Even though each paragraph began with the same topic sentence and supporting
details, did all the paragraphs turn out differently? Why?

NEL Chapter 19 = The Paragraph 215

 The Essay

Writing Is a Skill
Very few writers can dash off a masterpiece. We sometimes think that a person is
a born dancer or a born writer, but the reality is that anyone with a high level of
skill in an area such as these has worked long hours for many years to reach that
point. Writing is no exception. Like playing the piano, cleaning a patient’s teeth, or
managing a restaurant, writing is a skill. It helps to have talent, but talent must still
be developed and skills must be mastered, even by talented people.
When you learned to write a well-developed paragraph in Chapter 19, you were
creating something that could be a support paragraph for an essay. An essay is a
longer piece of writing, usually five or more paragraphs, in which you develop a topic
in much more depth than you can in a single paragraph. An essay may also be called
a composition, thesis, or paper. In most schools, such writing is an important part of
many courses, not only English composition.

Transferability
While writing essays is required in any number of areas of study—law enforcement,
business studies, office administration, technology, social sciences, journalism,
broadcasting, and more—its purpose goes beyond fulfilling the requirements of a
postsecondary-level education. Writing essays also helps prepare students for careers
by providing the skills necessary to write corporate reports, evaluations, summaries,
research papers, letters, memos, and job applications. Although different jobs call for
different kinds of written texts with somewhat different structures, the essay is the
basic form at the heart of them all. Spelling, grammar, and logic, which are essential
to the composition of an effective essay, remain paramount in all forms of writing, as
does the ability to express yourself clearly. In short, the skills you develop when you

216 NEL
 learn how to write an essay are transferable in countless ways. Contrary to what some
people say—that the essay is an outdated exercise—the essay is timelessly practical
because of this obvious transferability.
You learned in Chapter 19 that a paragraph, with its topic sentence and
supporting details, must have an organization that is both unified and coherent.
An essay must also have these characteristics. Furthermore, since an essay develops
a topic more thoroughly, making all the parts work together becomes an added
challenge. Figure 20.1 illustrates the structure of an essay.

Each block to the left represents one

paragraph.
Introductory Paragraph THESIS .
STATEMENT The thesis is your assertion. It should be a
clear and strong one-sentence statement of
what it is you are trying to say in your entire
essay.
| Topic Sentence
Sentence #1
#1__ The paragraphs between your introductory
and concluding paragraphs are the support
Support Paragraph #1 of your essay.

Each topic sentence performs two

| Topic Sentence
Sentence #2
#2_| jobs:
Support Paragraph #2 1. It directly supports the
thesis (above).
2. It introduces its paragraph.

| | Topic Sentence
Sentence #3
#3_| To ensure that ideas are adequately
developed, every paragraph should contain
Support Paragraph #3
approximately five to twelve sentences.
Make sure your introductory and concluding
paragraphs, in particular, are adequately
developed. A thesis statement (or restatement)
alone is insufficient.

Concluding Paragraph eae Restate your thesis, but in different words. |

ee
the Thesis Statement)

Figure 20.1: The Structure of an Essay

The Components of an Essay

Three types of paragraphs must always be present in an essay: an introductory
paragraph, support paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph. (See Figures 20.1
and 20.2.)

1. The introductory paragraph is the first paragraph of the essay. Its

purpose is to be so inviting that the reader will want to continue reading. This
introduction must contain a thesis statement.

NEL
Chapter 20 The Essay 217
 Quotation
Question(s)
Attention grabber Starts with opposite
Background/setting Anecdote
General statement Broad to narrow
Introduction ;
Thesis (mandatory)
Plan of development aHoud
or POD Supportable
(recommended) Specific (not too broad/
No supporting detail narrow/vague)

Topic sentence Does two jobs (see Figure 20.1)

Body Supporting details Quotations

(for Each Logical speculation
ele Each paragraph is about Narrative or description
one major thought Statistics |

Recap (recapitulation) or summary of points discussed (optional) |

Thought-provoking question (optional)
Restatement of thesis in different words (mandatory) |
Conclusion Analytical statement (optional) |
Prediction, warning, advice, etc. (optional)
Anecdote to illustrate thesis (optional) |
| No new evidence (no more supporting detail) |
L = dh ae ae syst S ee ee eee
Figure 20.2: Components of the Essay

2. Support paragraphs (sometimes called body paragraphs) provide the

evidence that shows your thesis is valid. An essay normally has at least
three well-developed support paragraphs. (These are the kinds of paragraphs you
studied in Chapter 19.) For an essay, however, one paragraph must flow logically
into the next. This flow is accomplished by the careful use of transitions or
transitional devices (discussed later in this chapter).
3. The concluding paragraph is the last paragraph of the essay. Its
purpose is to give the reader a sense of coming to a satisfying ending—a feeling
that everything has been said that needed to be said.

Moving from the Paragraph to the Essay

The paragraph can be considered a mini-essay of sorts. A well-written paragraph
includes all the skeletal elements of a full-fledged essay. For it to be transformed, it
needs to be expanded and fleshed out. Figure 20.3 shows the relationship between
the two structures.

Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 Essay

Thesis Introductory Paragraph

Paragraph

(say _ Topic Sentence (T.S.) |

| _ (including controlling idea)

¢ Main Supporting Sentence #1

¢ Main Supporting Sentence #2 Support Paragraphs

¢ Main Supporting Sentence #3

Concluding Sentence
4=|inin

Restatement of Thesis Concluding Paragraph

Figure 20.3: Moving from the Paragraph to the Essay

As Figure 20.3 shows, once the basic structure of a paragraph (left) has been
transferred to the corresponding structure of an essay (right), it is just a matter of
adding detail, especially in the area of examples, to make the essay complete.
(For more about examples, see Chapter 19, “The Paragraph.”) The most important
work—the identification of the topic, of the controlling idea, and of the main points
(in the form of main supporting sentences in the paragraph) has already been done.
The main supporting sentences in the paragraph translate into topic sentences in the
essay. In fact, the wording of a main supporting sentence in a paragraph and of the
corresponding topic sentence in an essay can be exactly the same.

A Third Format: The Preliminary Essay

Although not nearly as traditional as either the paragraph or the essay, a third format,
the preliminary essay, is used by some instructors to fill the gap between the two
more traditional formats. Learning to write preliminary essays allows you to progress

NEL
Chapter 20 The Essay 219
 from writing paragraphs to writing essays more gradually so the task does not
become unmanageable. The resulting products are more likely to be well developed
and effective.

Structure of the Preliminary Essay

Chapter 19, on the paragraph, introduced two types of paragraphs: the regular-sized
and the extended. This chapter introduces the standard essay as a five-paragraph
composition starting with an introductory paragraph, continuing with three support
paragraphs, and ending with a concluding paragraph. Logically, you might expect
the structural size of the preliminary essay to be somewhere in between those of the
paragraph and the essay. You would be correct (see Figure 20.4).
This textbook recommends that a preliminary essay include a one-sentence thesis
statement plus three support paragraphs, each with about five to seven sentences. The
support paragraphs should directly support and be introduced by the thesis statement.
To properly introduce the support paragraphs when composing a preliminary
essay, you can write a three-point thesis statement (one point for each support
paragraph). Some instructors might require this. But unless your instructor does,
it is not necessary as long as the topic sentences that begin your support paragraphs
are effectively written.

Paragraph Preliminary Essay i

Topic Sentence (T.S.)

Supporting Detail:

Main Supporting Sentences

Example Sentences

he Concluding Sentence

Support Paragraphs

| ae :
|| “Transition (such as first, second, or third)
|
bneae _ — — _ -- —<— — Ss — — —_— — —— ~ — — |

Figure 20.4: Structure of the Preliminary Essay

This figure shows how the components ofaparagraph can be carried over to the preliminary essay. Note, in particular,
that the
main supporting sentences in a paragraph can now become the topic sentences in a preliminary essay, complete with
ie same
transitions.

220 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 Question: If students want higher grades, what can they do?

Model Preliminary Essay |: Good Habits

Thesis (one-sentence direct answer to the above question):
If students want higher grades, they can develop three good habits.

First, taking good notes in class can help in a variety of ways, all leading to
better grades. For example, no one can remember everything that was said
and done in two or three hours. But notes help students remember more.
This preliminary essay There is no need to take down everything, just what they think is useful to
contains no documentation
their learning. If they think, for example, that learning an extra rule about
or attribution to other
sources.
commas might help their writing, that rule should be taken down in the form
of notes. The new rule might then become easier to apply the next time they
do some writing, and the writing is improved as a result.
Second, assigned readings and any other assigned homework should be
done for each class, whether it is worth marks or not. The main objective of
any class should be to learn, not just to achieve higher marks; however, one
most often leads to another. Even if students are not tested on their reading
Every paragraph has five to that day, doing the reading goes a long way toward better marks when the
Sala marked assignments do arrive. A student may not have the time to do all the
reading assigned every time. But the more a student reads, the more of what
the professor says in class will make sense, and the better the student is likely
to do in the next assignment.
Finally, students should approach the professor, a tutor, or someone
else who can help when something is difficult to understand. One of the
: saat limitations of the classroom is that the professor must reach as many
This preliminary essay
is written in formal students as possible in a very short time. They cannot always tell if
language: third-person, no something is not being understood. There is only so much they can do.
contractions, no commands, This is where students are expected to take some initiative. If they need
araneens: help, they should ask for it. But if things not understood are not addressed,
the course might just get harder instead of easier as time goes on.

Questions for Analysis

1. Does the thesis answer the question?
2. What are the main transitions in this preliminary essay? What is their function?
3. How many sentences are in each paragraph?
4. Is the thesis written in third person? Does the thesis contain an opinion or a
controlling idea?
5. What are the topic sentences? What are their jobs?
6. Is this an effective piece? Why or why not? Be specific.

Here is another sample of a preliminary essay. This time, it is documented using

the format set out by the American Psychological Association (APA). And the thesis
statement is a three-point thesis statement.

Chapter 20 [he Essay 221

oa
 Question: What might three benefits of Canada’s cannabis laws be if the
situation in Colorado is any indication?

Model Preliminary Essay II: Benefits of Marijuana

three-point thesis Thesis: Like in Colorado, three benefits of the legalized
recreational use of marijuana in Canada might be a stronger
economy, a positive impact on health, and an improved judicial
approach to the war on drugs.

Never put a text reference First, the Canadian economy might get a boost as a result of legalizing
into a topic sentence as this weed for recreational use. For example, the sales of weed will bring in new
is meant to be an idea of the
sources of revenue for governments from taxation. In Colorado, which
author of the preliminary
essay. legalized weed several years ago, the marijuana sector is seeing tax revenue
that is three times the rate of the alcohol industry (Clarendon, 2018).
The study also expects marijuana taxation to exceed tobacco taxation by
2020 (Clarendon, 2018). Another example of economic gain might be the
increased demand for other business. A Marijuana Policy Group (MPG)
study in Colorado claimed that marijuana growers need physical goods and
local services, a need that will lead to more jobs and a stronger economy
(Clarendon, 2018).

arindambanerjee/S

Second, although there is likely to be some negative impact on health

because of overdose and abuse, marijuana can have a very positive effect
on health, too. For example, the MPG study in Colorado claimed that
90 percent of the marijuana sold in the state will be provided by licensed
and regulated dealers by 2020; as a result, the marijuana is likely to
be safer for users (Clarendon, 2018). Also, the new marijuana law in
Canada might mean good news for the opioid problem in this country.

222 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 The United States also has a national opioid crisis, and Bentley University’s
The page numbers are not Miriam Boeri wrote that marijuana provides one of the safest therapeutic
necessary in the citations substitutes for opioids (Clarendon, 2018). And, of course, there is a slew of
here, according to APA style,
other medical treatments that marijuana has provided before legalization,
because the text references
are paraphrased and not but now with the plant’s wider usage, more people are likely to get help
quoted. with a variety of health-related issues. Marijuana can help increase
appetite, reduce nausea, lessen anxiety, alleviate pain and inflammation,
help with muscle control issues, and so on (Clarendon, 2018).
Finally, people of colour on both sides of the national border might
get fairer treatment from the criminal justice system. Certain non-white
communities in Canada, such as Blacks and Indigenous peoples, have
long claimed that the war on drugs has been used to exploit and persecute
them. The MPG study suggests this is changing because of the legalization
of marijuana. For example, the MPG study quotes California Lieutenant
The page number is Governor Gavin Newsom who is encouraged that his state’s new marijuana
required in this citation, laws will foster more racial fairness: “Creating a safe, legal, and tightly
according to APA, because
regulated system for adult-use marijuana is, at its core, about criminal justice
the text reference is a
quotation and nota reform and fixing a broken system that has disproportionately harmed low-
paraphrase. income Californians and communities of color” (Clarendon, 2018, p. 2).
Only the year goes into University of Toronto professor Owusu-Bempah (2018) says that when drug
the citation immediately use is legalized, the police have less of an excuse to infiltrate Black and other
following the professor's
minority communities for racially motivated reasons. (For more on the
last name because his name
is already in the text. connection between marijuana and non-white communities, see
“Beyond Cannabis” in Unit V.)

References normally References

go on a separate page Clarendon, D. (2018, January 3). 9 ways Californians might benefit from
after the preliminary
the legalization of recreational marijuana. A Plus. https://articles.aplus.
essay is complete.
com/a/california-recreational-marijuana-legalization-benefits?
no_monetization=true
Owusu-Bempah, A. (2018, November 25). Canada should legalize all
recreational drugs: The social harms of prosecuting drug users far
outweigh any public health benefits from prohibition. University of
Toronto Magazine. https://magazine.utoronto.ca/opinion/
canada-should-legalize-all-recreational-drugs-awkasi-owusu-bempah/

Questions for Analysis

1. Does the thesis answer the question?
2, What are the main transitions in this preliminary essay? What is their function?
3. How many sentences are in each paragraph?
4. Is the thesis written in third person? Does the thesis contain an opinion or
controlling idea? If so, in your own words, what is it?

NEL Chapter 20 The Essay 223

 5- Does every point in the thesis statement correspond to the appropriate topic
sentence? Are the topic sentences in the same order as their corresponding
points introduced in the thesis?
6. What are the topic sentences? What are their jobs?
oh Why are there more citations than there are references?
8. Why do most citations not contain page numbers?
9. Why does one citation (in the final paragraph) have only a year inside the
parentheses rather than the name and the year? Where is this citation located in
the sentence as opposed to the others?
10. Is this an effective piece? Why or why not? Be specific.

Writing a Preliminary Essay

Look at the picture of Naheed Nenshi, mayor of Calgary, Alberta. Do some research on
him, and then write a preliminary essay in response to one ofthe following topics:

is Why is Mayor Nenshi so popular with Calgarians?

2. Why would Mayor Nenshi make a great prime minister one day?

©
KOROL/Reuters
TODD

Naheed Nenshi

Features of the Essay

Before you begin the process of writing your own essays, this chapter will prepare you
to understand and work with these special essay features:

Thesis statement
Introductory paragraph
Transitions between body paragraphs
Concluding paragraph

224 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 What Is a Thesis Statement?

The thesis of an essay is a statement of the main idea of that essay. It usually contains an element
of opinion or argument. It is sometimes described as the claim that the evidence in the rest of the
essay is expected to support.

The thesis states what you are going to explain, defend, or prove about your topic. It
is usually placed in the middle or at the end of the introductory paragraph.

Plan of Development, or POD

DEFINITION
A plan of development, or POD, is an introduction to the main points that are intended to
support the thesis statement.
The best place for this POD is in the introductory paragraph,
immediately after the thesis statement.

How to Recognize a Thesis Statement

1. The thesis statement is a complete sentence. Students sometimes confuse
a thesis statement with the title of an essay. Remember that titles are usually
phrases rather than complete sentences.

Title: The Advantages of All-Day Kindergarten

Thesis: Schools should offer parents the option of an all-day kindergarten
program for their children, not only for the benefit of parents who work
outside the home, but also for the sake of the children.

2. The thesis statement presents a viewpoint about the topic that will
be defended or shown in the essay. It may be based on facts, but it is not
itself a fact.

Fact: Some kindergartens in Canada offer a half-day of instruction.

Thesis: Parents know there is more than one reason why most five-year-old
children should be in school for only half a day.

Recognizing the Thesis Statement

In the space provided, identify each of the following as (1) a title, (2) a thesis, or
(3) a fact that could be used to support a thesis. Check your answers against those in
Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices’

1. The personal interview is the most important

step in the employment process.
2. Looking for a job
3. Eighty percent ofall jobs are obtained
through websites.
4. The best time to begin learning a foreign
language is in grade school.

NEL
Chapter 20 The Essay 225
 5. The importance oflearning a foreign
language
6. By the year 2015, the number of
students studying foreign languages was
dramatically lower than what it had been
two decades earlier.
7. Most Canadians doing business with Japan
do not know a word ofJapanese.

Writing an Effective Thesis Statement

An effective thesis statement has two or three parts:

1. It contains a topic that is not too broad. Broad topics must be narrowed
down in scope. You can do this by limiting the topic (changing the term to cover a
smaller part of a broad topic) or qualifying the topic (adding phrases or words to
the general term that will narrow down the topic).

Broad topic: Swimming

Limited topic: Learning to float (Floating is a kind of swimming, more
specialized than the term swimming.)
Qualified topic: Swimming for health two hours a week (The use of the
phrase for health two hours a week narrows the topic down
considerably. Now the time spent swimming and the reason
for swimming are parts of the topic.)

There are a number of ways to narrow a topic to make it fit into a proper essay
length, as well as make it fit your experience and knowledge.

2. It contains a controlling idea that you can defend. The controlling

idea is what you want to show or prove about your topic; it is your attitude
about that topic. The controlling idea is often an adjective, such as beneficial,
difficult, or maddening.

Learning to float at the age of 20 was a terrifying experience.

Swimming two hours a week brought about a dramatic change in my
health.

3. Optional: It contains three points (three-point thesis statement).

Sometimes, your professor might require that your thesis statement contain
three points. All three points must correspond to the topic sentences in
the essay (or preliminary essay) in the same order in which the points are
introduced in the thesis. Try to ensure that the thesis is not too long. Because
the thesis statement now contains a list, the items in the list must be parallel.
(See parallel structure in Chapter 8.)

Like in Colorado, three benefits of the legalized recreational use of

marijuana in Canada might be a stronger economy, a positive impact on
health, and an improved judicial approach to the war on drugs.
226 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL
 4. Optional: It indicates what strategy for development is to be used.
To indicate the strategy, you can use words such as description, steps, stages,
comparison, contrast, causes, effects, reasons, advantages, disadvantages,
definition, analysis, persuasion, or classification.
Although not all writers include the strategy in the thesis statement, they
must always have in mind what major strategy they plan to use to prove their
thesis. Professional writers often use more than one strategy in a text. However,
in this book, you are asked to develop your essays by using one major strategy
at a time. By working in this way, you can concentrate on understanding and
developing the skills needed for each specific strategy.
Study the following thesis statement:

Although a date with the right person is marvellous, going out with a
group can have many advantages.

Now look back and check the parts found within it.

General topic: Going out

Qualified topic: Going out in a group
Controlling idea: To give the advantages
Strategy for development: Contrast between the couple date and the
group date

Writing the Thesis Statement

Below are three topics. For each one, develop a thesis statement by (1) limiting or
qualifying the general topic, (2) choosing a controlling idea (what you want to explain
or prove about the topic), and (3) selecting a strategy you could use to develop that
topic. (Possible strategies include narration, description, process, comparison or
contrast, definition, classification, and cause and effect.) An example has been done
for you.

General topic: Senior citizens

a. Limited or qualified topic:

Community services available to the senior citizens in my town
b. Controlling idea:
To show the great variety of programs
c. Strategy for development:
Classify the services into major groups.

Thesis statement: The senior citizens of New Glasgow, Nova Scotia, are
fortunate to have programs available to help them deal with health, housing,
and leisure time.

1. Winnipeg (or another city with which you are familiar)

a. Limited or qualified topic:

pee Chapter 20 The Essay 227

 b. Controlling idea:

c. Strategy for development:

Thesis statement:

2. Shopping
a. Limited or qualified topic:

b. Controlling idea:

c. Strategy for development:

Thesis statement:

3. Canadians
a. Limited or qualified topic:

b. Controlling idea:

c. Strategy for development:

Thesis statement:

The Introductory Paragraph

An introduction has a purpose that is twofold: to grab your readers’ attention so that they will
keep reading and to establish the thesis (or your main idea).

There is no one way to write an introduction. However, since many good

introductions follow a few common patterns, you will find it helpful to look at a
few examples of these patterns as you learn to write your own introductions. In
the following examples, the thesis statement is usually at the end, except in #4 in
which the thesis usually appears before the Plan of Development (POD), but after
an attention grabber.

228 Unit3) The Writing Process NEL

 1. Begin with a general subject that can be narrowed down to the
specific topic of your essay. Here is an introductory paragraph on astronomy
from Universe, by W.J. Kaufmann:

Speculation about the nature of the universe is one of the most

characteristic human endeavours. The study of the stars transcends all
boundaries of culture, geography, and politics. The modern science of
astronomy carries an ancient tradition of observation and speculation,
using the newest tools of technology and mathematics. In the most literal
sense, astronomy is a universal subject—its subject is, indeed, the universe.

2. Begin with specifics (a brief anecdote, a specific example, or a fact)

that will broaden into the more general topic of your essay. Here is the
introduction to Miriam Waddington’s “The Hallowe’en Party,” an essay about a
family of Russian Jews settling on a Prairie farm just outside of Winnipeg:

The year that I was twelve, my father came home one day and announced that
he had bought a farm. My sister Helen and I could hardly wait to see the farm
which, according to my father, consisted of 26 acres in St. Vital, just beyond
the outskirts of Winnipeg. ... My father had dreamed of such a farm all the
years he was shut up in the dark greasy machine shop where he earned his
living. Now as I look back, I can understand my father’s deep hunger for land.

3. Give a definition of the concept that will be discussed. Here is the

introduction to “Love Hurts,” an essay by Jenny Yuen about the problem of love
and sex addiction (see Chapter 30). The actual definition is in the last sentence.

For love and sex addicts, Valentine’s Day may not be simply roses and
candy, but rather a traumatic reminder that love hurts. February 14 may
bring back painful memories of past breakups, or trigger the need to
go out and find a “special someone” who may not turn out to be all that
special. Sexual and love addiction is the continuing pattern of unwanted
compulsive romantic behaviour that has a negative impact on the addict’s
personal, social and/or economic standing.”

4. Include a plan of development (a brief summary of points that will support

your thesis) after your thesis statement.

Canada abolished the death penalty in 1976. It’s time to bring it back. One
reason to do so is the money that taxpayers will save when the state no longer
has to maintain the lives of hardened criminals who will never be freed
anyway. Secondly, there is no redemption for criminals who are sentenced to
life in prison. And lastly, the punishment should fit the crime.

*Jenny Yuen, “Love Hurts.” Reprinted by permission of Jenny Yuen.

Chapter 20 The Essay 229

 5. Start with an idea or statement that is a widely held point of view. Then
surprise the reader by stating that this idea is false or that you hold a different
point of view. Here is an example from “A Planet for the Taking,” by David Suzuki:

Canadians live under the remarkable illusion that we are a technologically

advanced people. Everything around us denies that assumption. We are, in many
ways, a Third World country, selling our natural resources in exchange for the
high technology of the industrialized world. Try going through your home and
looking at the country of origin of your clothes, electrical appliances, books, car.
The rare technological product that does have Canada stamped on it is usually
from a branch plant of a multinational company centred in another country.

6. Include a familiar quotation or a paraphraseof something said by a

famous person, as Zack Goodman does in the following example from “City
Life Beats the Small Town Blues.” (For the whole essay, see Chapter 27.)

Growing up in a small town has its perks. You might have fewer friends than
you have in the big city, but you tend to keep them closer. East Coast author
Hugh MacLennan once said that writers who grow up in small towns have a
greater knowledge of human intimacy even if their writing ideas stemming
from this knowledge run dry before they turn 40. Well, not everybody agrees
with either of those points. In fact, city life can offer just as much knowledge
of intimacy if not more than small town life can. Life is better in the big city,
and it all comes down to one general reason: more choice.

7. Give a number of descriptive images that will lead to the thesis of

your essay. The descriptive images can make up the plan of development,
which, in the case of the following paragraph, comes before the thesis statement.

The nuclear family is breaking up. Both parents are working and children
are left on their own for long periods or are sent to daycare centres. Some
children are learning about life from television and from movies, although
the life that they learn about is often far removed from the truth. The
incidence of crime is increasing among children because they receive little
guidance, and even less teaching, on the difference between right and
wrong. Social, moral, and religious values are declining. These are among
the reasons the fabric of society is decaying.

What Not to Say in Your Introduction

1. Avoid telling your reader that you are beginning your essay:
In this essay I will discuss . .
I will talk about...
I am going to prove...

230 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 2. Don’t apologize:
Although I am not an expert...
In my humble opinion...
3. Do not refer to later parts of your essay:
By the end of this essay, you will agree...
In the next paragraph, you will see. . .
4. Don’t use trite expressions. Since they have been so overused, they will note
spark interest. Using such expressions shows that you have not taken the time
to come up with your own words to express your ideas. Some examples of trite
expressions include the following:
He was busy as a bee.
You can’t tell a book by its cover.
Haste makes waste.

Using Transitions to Move from One Idea to the Next

Successful essays help the reader follow the logic of the writer’s thinking by using
transitional expressions when needed. Transitions usually occur when the writer
is moving from one point to the next. They are also useful whenever an idea is
complicated. A writer may also use transitions when summarizing the points
covered thus far, emphasizing a point already made, or repeating an important point.
A transition may be a word, a phrase, a sentence, or even a paragraph.
In an essay, composition, or research paper, transitions link paragraphs and the
ideas in them in the same way that they link ideas within a sentence or paragraph.
Here are some examples of transitional expressions you might use to help the reader
make the right connections between paragraphs. For your convenience, refer to the
chart on the inside back cover of this book.

1. To make your points stand out clearly:

the first reason second, secondly finally

first of all another example most important
in the first place even more important all in all
also, next in conclusion
then to summarize

2. To present an example of what has just been said:

for example
for instance

3. To present the consequence of what has just been said:

therefore
as a result
then

Chapter 20 The Essay 231

 4. To make a contrasting point clear:

on the other hand

but
contrary to current thinking
however

5. To admit a point:

of course
granted

6. To resume your argument after admitting a point that does not support it:

nevertheless
even SO
nonetheless
still

7. To call the reader’s attention to the organizational structure of the text:

Before attempting to answer these questions, let me...

In our discussion so far, we have seen that...
At this point, it is necessary to...
It is beyond the scope of this paper to...

A more subtle way to link one idea to another in an essay is to repeat a word
or phrase from the preceding sentence.

I have many memories of my childhood in Yukon. These memories

include the aunts, uncles, grandparents, and friends I left behind when
I moved to Ontario.

Sometimes, instead of the actual word, a pronoun will take the place of the word.

Like many Northerners, I’ve had to learn to adapt to an urban way of life.
It hasn’t been easy, but today I almost think of myself as a Torontonian.

The Concluding Paragraph

A concluding paragraph has one main purpose: to give the reader the sense of reaching
a satisfying ending to the topic discussed. Students often feel they have nothing to say
at the end. A look at how professional writers frequently end their essays can ease your
anxiety about writing an effective conclusion. You have more than one possibility; here
are some of the most frequently used patterns for ending an essay.

1. Come full circle—that is, return to the material in your introduction.

Finish in your conclusion what you started in your introduction. The material
returned to might be “the grabber,” as in the case of the following example.
But remind the reader of the thesis, also. Whether you're only returning to the
thesis, which is mandatory, or reminding the reader of the initial grabber, also
remember to remind the reader with different wording. To illustrate this, here

Zon Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 are excerpts from the first and last paragraphs of the essay “Social Media and
Relationships: A Few Important Rules” (Chapter 24).

First paragraph:

Research has shown that social media can affect the quality of our
relationships. Several studies show, specifically, that the effects are quite
negative. This seems to contradict the experience of many people who
swear by online dating sites as a great way to meet people. It wouldn’t
be practical to try to persuade people to abandon social media entirely.
Therefore, it makes more sense to offer suggestions as to what Peon can
do to safeguard their relationships when online.

Last paragraph:

Dating sites are a big part of social media. Many people, especially those
who have met their partners online, swear by them. But research shows
that the ability to cultivate our relationships can be hampered by online
activity. So how can we capitalize on social media without doing harm
to our relationships at the same time? There are steps we can take to
minimize the potential damage.

. Summarize by repeating the main points. The following example of a

concluding paragraph is from the essay “City Life Beats the Small Town Blues,
”

by Zack Goodman, which appears in its entirety in Chapter 27.

A small town has its advantages; that’s true. The cost of living is lower.
The streets are probably safer at night. And it might even be easier to meet
someone special. But if you’re an arts lover who enjoys the company of
people from all over the world, and youre interested in cultivating friends
who help you to grow spiritually and not just to get drunk on a Saturday
night, city life is tough to beat.

. Show the significance of your thesis by making predictions, giving a

warning, giving advice, offering a solution, suggesting an alternative, or telling
the results. This example is from David Suzuki’s essay “A Planet for the Taking,”
whose introductory paragraph was discussed earlier in this chapter.

But Canadians do value the spiritual importance of nature and want to see
it survive for future generations. We also believe in the power of science
to sustain a high quality of life. And while the current understanding of
science’s power is, I believe, misplaced, in fact the leading edges of physics
and ecology may provide the insights that can get us off the current track.
We need a very profound perceptual shift and soon.

NEL
Chapter 20 The Essay 233
 4. End with an anecdote that illustrates your thesis. This example
is from an essay, again by David Suzuki, entitled “Hidden Lessons,” on
the danger of unintentionally giving children the idea that the environment
is disgusting.

It’s not easy to avoid giving these hidden lessons. I have struggled to cover
my dismay and queasiness when Severn and Sarika come running in with a
large wolf spider or when we've emerged from a ditch covered with leeches
or when they have been stung accidentally by yellow jackets feeding on our
leftovers. But that’s nature. I believe efforts to teach children to love and
respect other life forms are priceless.

What Not to Say in Your Conclusion

1. Do not introduce a new point:

Something else of importance...

Additional information has come to light...
A new idea...

2. Do not apologize:

Unfortunately, this essay cannot end on a more positive note...

If there were more space...
It is impossible to be sure of every point . . .

3. Do not end with a statement that is up in the air, leaving the reader
feeling unsatisfied. This sometimes happens when the very last sentence is not
strong enough:

Maybe the problem will never be solved . . .

There is no obvious solution . . .
Hopefully, things will get better . . .

Titles
Be sure to follow the standard procedure for writing your title.

1. Think of a short and catchy phrase (approximately three to six words).

Avoid complete sentences, even if they're short. Often writers wait until they have
written a draft before working on a title. There may be a phrase from the essay
that will be perfect. If you still cannot think of a clever title after you have written
a draft, choose some key words from your thesis statement, especially that part of
the thesis that suggests the point of view you have taken.

*Excerpt from the written work “Hidden Lessons” by David Suzuki.

234 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 2. Capitalize the first letter of the first word and the last word; then
capitalize the first letter of the other words except articles (the, a, an),
prepositions (such as in, of, and on), and short conjunctions (such as and,
but, and so).
3. Do not put quotation marks around the title when it is in the title position.
4. Centre the title at the top of the page, and remember to leave about 2.5 cm
(1 inch) of space between the title and the beginning of the first paragraph.

Sample Outline Format

Now that you have learned the various components of an essay, it’s time to put
them all together. The following is a suggested format for an essay outline. It
includes suggestions for length, but how long each element is depends on what your
instructor’s requirements are, what evidence comes to your mind when you are
writing the essay, and so on. Next time you write an essay for practice, try using this
sample format to help you structure your essay properly.
For a reminder of the difference between a main supporting sentence and an
example see Chapter 19: “The Paragraph.”

Essay title:

First Paragraph (introduction):

Attention grabber: (1 sentence)

General statement: (2 sentences)

Thesis: (1 sentence)

Plan of development: (1 sentence)

Second Paragraph (first support paragraph):

Topic sentence:

Main supporting sentence #1:

Example sentence:

Main supporting sentence #2:

Example sentence:

Third Paragraph (second support paragraph):

Topic sentence:

Main supporting sentence #1:

Continued on next page...

Chapter 20 The Essay 235

NEL
 Example.sentences: (2isentences)ic.0) aw etl a FO ss eee Se

Main suipporting’sentence #25" es 5 = on ee ee

Example sentence: (1 sentence)

Mainsupporting sentence #3 tran 262s ts tyne 6) Se eee

Main supporting sentence #4:

Fourth Paragraph (third support paragraph):

Topic sentence:

Main supporting sentence #1:

Main supporting sentence #2:

Example sentences: (2 sentences)

Main supporting sentence #3:

Fifth Paragraph (conclusion):

Recap: (3 sentences)

Thesis restatement:

Question for further research:

Thought-provoking idea (prediction):

Working Together: Education Endangered?

1. The cartoon below uses a multiple-choice quiz to suggest reasons that education
in North America is in trouble. As a class or in groups, discuss each of the four
areas of concern raised by the cartoonist. Then write a five-paragraph essay
on the subject (be sure it has an introductory paragraph, three supporting
paragraphs, and a paragraph of conclusion). Use the information you have
learned in this chapter to write a good introduction and conclusion. For your
supporting paragraphs, choose three of the four areas of concern shown in the
cartoon and make each one the main idea for one of the supporting paragraphs.
Be sure to make use of the ideas generated during the class discussion.

236 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 | a TOMTOLES __
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TOLES © 1989 The Washington Post. Reprinted with permission of UNIVERSAL UCLICK. All rights reserved.

2. Join one of three groups in the class. In your group, study the introductory and
concluding paragraphs in any essay in the Major Readings section of this book
(Unit V). Analyze each introduction and conclusion to decide if the author has
chosen one of the patterns suggested in this chapter. Which sentence, if any, is
the author’s thesis statement?

NEL Chapter 20 The Essay 237

 op trenton
ngs coe
i

Beyond Sentence Skills

Sentence skills (also known as grammar) are important. Editing your writing begins
with correcting your grammar, spelling, and so on. But what about when you're
satisfied that your grammar is correct? There are no more misspellings, no more
fragments, no more run-ons, no more pronoun errors, and no more punctuation
problems. And you have checked the accuracy of your content. You have answered
the question on the assignment properly. You have complied with the rules of essay
structure. But is that enough? Well, the answer probably depends on how much time
you have left. If you still have a bit of time before the assignment is due, then there is
one thing you can do: work on style.

What Is Style?
Style is how something is written beyond sentence skills. Can a sentence be written
more effectively even though the grammar is already perfect? Chances are yes, it can.
First, let’s distinguish it from grammar. Grammar includes any sentence-level
writing problem for which there is usually a right or wrong answer. Style, on the other
hand, relates to a sentence-level issue that is a matter of preference. Preference may
be personal, but it is often based on a person’s subject area. For example, a fragment
is incorrect from an academic perspective; however, in journalism, a fragment is
often permitted and even preferred if effect is the objective.
Second, style is an important consideration when it comes to achieving more
effective writing. For example, look at the following two short sentences:

The dog chased the cat.

The cat was chased by the dog.

238 NEL
 Which sentence is more effective? Most would say the first sentence is stronger.
First, both sentences say the same thing. But the first is shorter. That’s one thing that
makes it stronger. Second, the first is in active voice, while the second is in passive
voice. In a sentence in the active voice, the subject (the dog) is the doer of the action.
In the second sentence, the subject (the cat) is not the doer of the action. (It is chased;
it does not do the chasing.) This is another reason the first sentence is stronger: the
subject is the doer of the action. This is a matter of style since both sentences are
grammatically correct.
Not everyone will agree on the best style. Over time, especially if writing is
something you do a great deal, you will cultivate a style that works best for you. And
the more time you have at your disposal, the more you will be able to rework the style
of your writing, making it more effective. After all, getting what you want in your job
will very often be a result of how effective your communication skills are. And this
will depend not only on your command of grammar, or sentence skills, but also on
your use of style.
The following are points of style that the authors of this textbook believe will
strengthen anyone’s writing. It is certainly not a complete list, but it should give you
an idea of the difference between sentence skills (grammar) and style.

Word Economy (Absence of Wordiness)

This is very much related to the point above. Have you ever heard the saying “Less
is more”? Think of it as a principle of good writing. Very often, especially when we
speak, we add words not only ineffectively, but also incorrectly. For example, how
many times have you heard someone say something like this?

The reason why I was sick is because I lost too much sleep over exam week.

Look closely at the words reason, why, and because. What is the difference between
them in terms of meaning? There is none. Not only did the writer repeat himself or
herself, but the writer repeated the meaning twice.
Now look at the same sentence with all three words (with the same meaning)
highlighted:

The reason why I was sick is because I lost too much sleep over exam
week.

If the writer insists on starting the sentence with “The reason,” then the sentence
should read this way:

The reason I was sick is I lost too much sleep over exam week.

With the deletion of two words, the sentence is noticeably shorter.

We often use words without a good reason. We often weaken our arguments in
doing so, which is worse. Look at an alternative sentence:

I was sick because I lost too much sleep over exam week.

NEL
Chapter 21 Style 239
 We could argue that this is better still for at least two reasons. First, it’s even shorter
than the last sentence that starts with The reason. Second, the sentence starts with
a human subject, J, rather than the reason. If you have a choice between using an
animate subject (such as a human being) or an inanimate subject (such as a reason),
use the animate because it usually makes the sentence stronger.

Clarity versus Big Words and Long Sentences

The preface of this textbook mentions that the first casualty of bad writing is
clarity. This lack of clarity can be a result of a natural fear of losing face when
embarking on a postsecondary education. When students first leave high school,
they often think that they have to adjust their writing because they are now
communicating with college professors; one thing they might change is to increase
their word length and sentence length when they write. They think they have to
be more sophisticated now. This is probably not a good idea, since their clarity is
often sacrificed.
The problem is one of control. It can be compared to learning how to drive a car.
You get behind the wheel for the first time, and you see the other cars on the road
going at a certain speed. You want to be like the other drivers even though they have
been on the road for years. So as not to stand out, you risk driving at a speed you're
really not accustomed to. You would rather risk losing control than feel like a loser
who’s slower than everyone else. Self-image is everything, even if, in the case of the
car, you risk putting your own and other lives in danger.
Unlike driving too fast, writing longer sentences is not a life-threatening act.
However, it can make a difference between earning good grades and not. It can make
a difference between arguing effectively or not. If you are not being understood as a
result of long sentences, write shorter ones, at least until your clarity has improved.
Similarly, once you acquire more driving experience, you can begin to maintain more
control of a car at a higher speed.

Formal Language
In fulfilling their mandate to help prepare students for the workplace, more colleges
realize that this includes teaching them to write and speak more formally. The
workplace, after all, more often requires the use of formal communication than,
for example, the home or social environments.This, of course, does not mean that
formal language will be required in the workplace all the time, but practising the
use of formal language will help you (the future employee) to switch from informal
to formal language more easily and effectively when you deem it important.

Avoid Slang

A student once pointed out to me that the term a /ot (aside from the fact that it's often
spelled wrong—alot—is slang. | always learn from my students, but because | used alot a
great deal in speech and in writing, | had to look it up to make sure. | discovered that my

(continued on next page)

240 Unit 3) The Writing Process NEL

 . (continued from previous page)
. student was absolutely right, and since then, | have made a conscious effort not to use
it either in speech or in writing, especially in the classroom, where | try my best to set an
- example and to practise what | teach.
Gary Lipschutz, lead author of The Canadian Writer's Workplace

When you look up a word or phrase in the dictionary, you might find the term
informal or inf. or even slang after it. Other terms referring to the same thing include
conversational, casual, and colloquial (or collog.). When a term is discovered to
be colloquial, or slang, there is always a proper way to say it instead. It might be
difficult to come up with at first, but for the purpose of formal language, it’s best to
make the effort. |
The two students decided to hang out after class.
The two students decided to spend some time together after class.

The first sentence contains an example of slang (hang out). Unless the two students
are monkeys, their intentions are probably not to “hang out” anywhere.

Use Third Person (and Avoid Commands)

If an alien came to Earth and signed up for an English course, he, she, or it might ask,
“What is easier to use to refer to people or things: first, second, or third person?” The
answer of course would be third. After all, the alien can choose literally thousands of
words for third person, but first and second have huge limitations (you could count
these rather quickly, since they are all pronouns). This is a great irony of the English
language. Most nouns are potential third-person references—dog, man, alien, he,
she, her, love, jacket, and so on. Despite this fact, the alien would be shocked to hear
just how often people use pronouns that are in the first or second person. This is
simply because we are used to speaking in the first and second person. It’s what we
do most comfortably when we speak. And we speak much more often than we write.
When we write, most of the time we are writing informally (when we are texting,
for example), so formal language (including the use of third person) becomes less
frequent and more difficult to switch into for most people.
Also note that a command (or order or imperative) implies the use of second
person (the word you before the verb):

Study for your test now!

Give me the book.
Go to your room.

These are all examples of commands. For the first and third examples, the word your
already suggests second person. But all of them imply the word you as the subject of
the commands. It would sound even more rude (impolite, and therefore informal)
than it does already if the you were added:

You, study for your test now!

You, give me the book.
You, go to your room.

NEL
Chapter 21 Style 241
 In the interest of sounding a little less rude and abrupt, we drop the you. But it’s still
in second person and, therefore, informal. This is why eliminating commands is part
of the third-person reference rule when it comes to formal language.

Avoid Contractions
This rule of formal language is extremely difficult to master in speech unless we are
reading a speech, for example. Some people maintain that contractions are permissible
even in formal language. This textbook maintains that the rule of avoiding
contractions should be applied to formal language. (This textbook, however, has
adopted a semiformal approach: slang is avoided, but first- and second-person
references and contractions are not. This is to establish a more conversational style to
make reading easier and more enjoyable and to maximize learning.)

Wark/Carto
Kim

"boc, SHE'S HAVING CONTRACTIONS!’

So next time you write a formal document, such as a research paper or a letter to
a client, eliminate all contractions for the purpose of formal language. Say “does not”
instead of “doesn’t” and “There is a great deal of bad weather on the way” as opposed
to “There’s a lot of bad weather on the way.” Notice the use of contraction and slang
in the last sentence.

242 Unit 3 The Writing Process

NEL
 Summary of the Three Rules of Formal Language - -
. ¢ Avoid slang (e.g., hang out, a lot).
¢ Use third person (and avoid commands).
- ¢ Avoid contractions (e.g., should've, can’t).

Active versus Passive Voice

As mentioned in the introduction to this chapter, good writers most often prefer the
active over the passive voice. A sentence in which the doer of the action is the subject
is more likely to sound stronger.

The student recited the poem confidently in front of the entire student
body.
The poem was recited confidently by the student in front of the entire
student body.

The student is the doer and the subject of the action at the same time in the first
sentence. The poem is the subject and, obviously, not the doer in the second sentence.
This makes the first sentence stronger, as it is in the active voice, while the second
sentence is in the passive voice.
In some situations, writing in the passive voice is preferable, such as when the
person responsible for a decision is not as important as the decision itself. But that’s
usually a situation found in the workplace. (Read more on active versus passive voice
in Chapter 3, “Solving Verb Problems.”)

Word Order
The principle of word order is simple: put all insignificant words in the middle of
the sentence where possible. For example, you wouldn’t put but at the end of the
sentence. Similarly, avoid putting however, which means the same thing, at the end
of a sentence. For instance, don’t say,

He was sick; he still came to school, however.

Instead, say,

He was sick; however, he still came to school.

Emphasis, when someone reads, is often placed on the beginning and at the end of a
sentence. If you don’t want to put emphasis on the word however, for example, don’t
put it either at the beginning or at the end.
This stylistic principle also applies to prepositions (to, on, at, etc.). Although
usage sometimes prevails over style and even grammar, it’s still a good idea to avoid
placing a preposition at the end of a sentence. “Which car did you have your eyes on?”
could be replaced with “Which car did you prefer?” You don't have to choose to put
the preposition elsewhere, even if it is grammatically correct: “On which car did you
have your eyes?” Although this is correct, it is awkward mainly because of modern
usage. You simply wouldn’t hear people say this today, correct or not. CP (Canadian

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Chapter 21 Style 243
 Press) style—to which most newspapers in Canada adhere—says that this rule should
be broken when putting the preposition at the end of the sentence sounds much more
natural and less awkward than the “correct” way.
Take these two examples:

What school are you going to?

To what school are you going?

CP style would prefer the first sentence, even if, grammatically speaking, the second
sentence is more proper. The whole problem, however, might be avoided with better
wording altogether:

What school are you attending?

Sentence Variety
No one likes a speaker who is monotone, which means speaking in one tone without
variation. Similarly, a writer should vary sentences where possible. Length is one way
to apply variation; sentence type is another. A simple sentence has one subject and
one verb. (The cat walked.) A compound sentence has two subjects and two verbs.
(The cat walked, and the dog watched.) A complex sentence includes a dependent
clause and an independent clause. (While the cat walked, the dog watched.) Vary
your sentence type as well as length.

Breaking the Rules

As mentioned earlier, journalists sometimes break the rules of grammar. So do
novelists, since the realism of characters in the novel trumps proper grammar. But
before you will be forgiven for breaking the rules, your reader has to get the sense
that you know what the rules are. Then the likelihood is greater that you’ve broken
the rules intentionally and for effect. If you break the rules without knowing what
they are, the reader might think that you don’t know how to write. And this is often
unforgiveable.

Breaking Up the Text

Text often needs to be broken up, whether the format is a magazine page or even
a formal research paper. The first thing that helps to break up the text so that it is
easier to read is the proper application of paragraphing. If a paragraph is too long
(say, more than twelve sentences), then it should be broken up into at least two
shorter paragraphs. Don’t break it up just anywhere. Find a logical spot where a
second idea begins. You might have to make some minor adjustments to improve
the logic and the flow.
Another way to break up the text for easier reading is to use quotations.
(See Chapters 16 and 23 for more on quotations.) Just using quotation marks, in the
case of a shorter quotation, can help. Or a longer quotation (more than two lines)
that must be indented without the use of quotation marks might be more fitting.

244 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 If you're writing a report rather than an academic essay, it might be appropriate
to add another subtitle, again as a way to further break up the text. In the same way
that you would turn a longer paragraph into two shorter ones, make sure that the
content corresponds to the new subtitle, and if the transition isn’t smooth, make the
necessary adjustments.

Repetition of Words
There’s a time to repeat and a time not to repeat. In fact, the preceding sentence
itself is reminiscent of a line in Shakespeare’s Hamlet: “To be or not to be, that is the
question.” The intended repetition of “to be” has been famous for more than 400
years and will continue to be so. Most of the time, however, people repeat words
or ideas without awareness and certainly without positive effect. Most repetition
weakens language and sometimes renders it ineffective. Editing can help to reduce
the harmful effect of repetition.

Audience and Tone

Always consider your intended audience when youre writing. Who do you expect
will read your paper? Your primary audience is, no doubt, your professor. But whom
do you have in mind when youre writing your composition? If you’re writing a
children’s story, chances are you're neither going to be discussing the topic of sexually
transmitted infections (STIs) nor using five-syllable words. If you’re writing a formal
essay, youre not going to begin by saying, “I thought Id spill a few thoughts down on
some papyrus.” The identity of your intended audience, aside from the professor who
will be marking your assignment, determines not only what you write, but also how
you write it.
Your intended audience, for example, determines the level of formality of your
writing (see “Formal Language”). If you’re writing a formal research paper, use a
formal tone. Don’t, for example, use contractions (he’s, she’d, etc.). Stay in the third
person (don’t use J or you or commands).
Tone is a matter of attitude. You might recall one of your parents saying to you at
some point, “Don’t use that tone with me!” The same kind of consideration applies to
your writing. Choose the appropriate attitude, such as formal or humorous, or both,
based on intended audience, and then keep it consistent throughout your composition.

Purpose
The main reason for writing a composition at this stage in your life is probably to get
a passing grade so that you can move on to the next level of English and eventually
graduate in your program. The better your compositions are, the more likely you are
to pass your English course. In the interest of producing a high-quality composition,
be as mindful as you can of the specific reason for writing your piece.
This purpose should be clear to you from the beginning. If it’s not, it probably won't
be clear to the reader either. First, is your purpose to inform, to persuade, or to entertain?

NEL
Chapter 21 Style 245
 After you know who your intended audience is, decide what you want that audience
to think, do, or feel. Are you trying to inspire your readers to do something specific?
Or do you simply want them to understand your particular point of view toward
a controversial topic? Regardless, the clearer you are on the purpose of your
composition, the more effective the result will be.
Make sure the reader knows exactly why you’re writing. Depending on the
document you're preparing or the format required, the purpose of your writing
should be made clear in a certain way that has been specifically prescribed. If you’re
writing an essay, your thesis must be in the first paragraph, somewhere between
the middle and the end. If you’re writing a letter with bad news that isn’t major,
you might want to impart the bad news right away in the first sentence. But
regardless, the purpose must be clear. If it’s not, you might be better off not creating
the document at all. Clarity is essential.

Consistency
Consistency is a principle of good writing. It’s also a principle of good art, according
to Greek philosopher Aristotle. But in writing, consistency needs to be applied to
every sentence of every composition, no matter how short or how long, and it applies
to style as much as it applies to grammar.
In grammar, for example, there’s a rule regarding subject-verb agreement
(even the term agreement in the title of this point of grammar implies the need for
consistency). Another point of grammar is called pronoun-antecedent agreement.
Another is person agreement (keeping sentences in the same person—first, second,
or third). Consistency, when it comes to style, can be applied to tone (e.g., if the piece
starts off sarcastically, it should continue in this way), or voice (narrative point of
view), or level of formality (if a piece starts conversationally or casually, it should,
again, continue in this way).
Consistency can usually be cleaned up at the editing stage. But if you’re conscious
of the need to apply it from the start, you will have fewer changes to make when you
start editing.

Choice of Punctuation

When the final test or exam approaches, | make a suggestion to my students: “If by now you
are not 100 percent sure how to use the semicolon correctly, then try to avoid it altogether!’
On the other hand, if you do know how to use it correctly, by all means do so because it
often separates the good writers from the mediocre ones.
Gary Lipschutz, lead author of The Canadian Writer's Workplace

The precise use of punctuation can be a very effective communication tool, and it
often demonstrates an impressive use of the English language. It proves, along with
many other aspects of language and usage, how well a writer pays attention to detail.
The writer of a piece in Forbes magazine once said that he, as an employer, wouldn’t
hire a graduate who doesn’t know how to properly use the comma to writing since

246 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 this is a huge indicator of whether or not a job candidate generally pays attention
to detail.

Avoidance of Abstract Terms

Abstract means to exist in thought rather than matter; not concrete; intangible. Look
at this sentence:

The use of the vehicle was regular.

Questions arise. What kind of vehicle was it? Who used it? How was it used? What
does “regular” mean exactly? The sentence is very ambiguous because the terms
used are vague. The grammar is perfect. But the style is weak because the reader still
doesn’t know very much.

The sixteen-year-old drove her new green VW Jetta to school every day.

Ah, now we have answers to every question.

Be specific. Use concrete examples as much as possible. Conjure up a picture of
what youre talking about in the mind of the reader.

Avoidance of Jargon
Jargon (for example, legal jargon) is the set of special words or expressions used by a
profession or group that is difficult for outsiders to understand. Always consider your
audience when making a decision about jargon. If you’re writing a work manual for
everyone in your automotive group, then you might not have to explain automotive
terms. But if you’re writing to a general audience, remember to add explanations
where necessary, and try to avoid jargon as much as possible.

Improving Style

Find a copy of your student newspaper. Pick a short piece and rewrite it, correcting
any grammar mistakes you find, but also changing the style of any sentence that you
think could be written more effectively. Identify what you've done based on any of the
points from this chapter.

Working Together: Changing the Style of Peer Writing

Form a group of four or five. Exchange with each other a piece of writing you have
just gotten back from your professor.

1. Come to agreement with your peers as to which three areas of style in this
chapter you are all going to change in each other's work. Try to determine
rational reasons for doing so. Take into consideration the intended audience of
the writing, and so on.

NEL Chapter 21 Style 247

 2. Make the changes to the best of your ability.
3. Give the assignments back to the original writers in your group.
4. Look over the changes in your assignments that your peers have made.
5. Discuss the results with the rest of your group. For example, were most of the
changes that were required by the three areas of style identified made? What
was the effect of the changes? Is this exercise likely to lead to you paying more
attention to stylistic detail of your writing in the future?

248 Unit 3 The Writing Process

NEL
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Revising and
Editing

The Final Stage

Too many writers finish a first draft and then immediately start rereading to catch
mistakes. Their idea is to get the editing process over with as soon as possible. If the
writer misses a few little mistakes, who’s going to notice? But revising and editing
involve much more than a quick rereading, hoping any mistakes will jump out. This
stage involves a well-planned approach to making improvements, finding mistakes,
and discovering better ways of writing.
Revising and editing are essential components of the writing process. Of course,
youll need to proofread your final copy for typos and other mistakes you may have
made, but the revising and editing steps must come before proofreading.

What Is the Difference between Revising and Editing?

Revising and editing are often thought of as the same thing. They are not. Specifically,
revising is rereading your first draft very carefully and making major improvements.
You might replace an entire paragraph with a new one, for example. You might cut
the length of a large anecdote in half and add a different, smaller one. Editing, on the
other hand, usually means making smaller, but still important, changes. Revising
often refers to changing the content, whereas editing often refers to improving the
organization of the composition and the style of the writing. Too many people do not
spend enough time on these parts of the writing process. However, it’s better to make
improvements yourself at this stage than to have your professor point out the need
for them later.

NEL
249
 Proofreading
After the revising and editing are finished, proofreading begins. Proofreading refers,
mostly, to correcting mistakes at a more micro level—for example, grammar or
spelling errors. Minor factual errors in content might also be caught at this stage.

The Right Conditions for the Tasks

When you've finished the first draft of your work, set it aside for a day or two if you
can. Then read the whole thing, making notes, corrections, or additions based on the
checklists that start below, which are adapted from The Reluctant Writer, by Roger
Mann and John Roberts. Many instructors recommend that you read your essay out
loud. Some say that writers can catch up to 70 percent of their own errors this way.
At the final stage, it is important to print a hard copy of your final draft to proofread
your work. You will have a better chance of spotting errors this way than if you do
your final read-through onscreen, since the eyes read better with reflected light (off
paper) than with emitted light (from a computer screen).
What you need first is a quiet place and a block of time that will allow you to
complete the task in one sitting. When you have completed your own revising and
editing, you might also ask someone else to read your material and offer a second
opinion on the quality of your work and suggestions for improvement. Finally,
keep in mind that your computer’s spell check and grammar check programs are
not infallible. As the writer, you are ultimately responsible for your own work; that
includes the revising, the editing, and the proofreading.

Master Checklist for Revising and Editing

1. Check the macrocomposition: the content and the overall arrangement of ideas.
(See “Macrocomposition Checklist,’ below.)
2. Check the microcomposition: the flow of thought, the sentence structure, and the wording,
grammar, and usage. (See “Microcomposition Checklist”)
3. Check the spelling.
4. Check the punctuation.
5. Check the manuscript form.

totallyPIC.com/Shutterstock

250 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

Macrocomposition Checklist ...... Me OS OOS Oe eres et ae
rail Have you provided enough background explanation at the outset for the reader to
a. recognize the context?
b. understand what follows?
c. want to read further?
. Do the ideas introduced in the beginning connect logically to a continuous line of thought
that moves sensibly from introduction to discussion and ends in a conclusion? Are
appropriate connecting words used?
. Are the thoughts packaged in small chunks of information that the audience is capable of
following? Will the sequence of ideas convince and enlighten the reader?
s the information sufficient to do the job it is intended to do? Are there any gaps? Is all of the
discussion relevant to the subject and the purpose?
s the point of view consistent throughout the text?
Are the time sequences logical and consistent? Are all the verbs in the correct tense and mood?
s the wording concise, and are physical references precise and concrete? If you are dealing
with ideas and concepts, are they adequately explained and illustrated? Is the wording geared ‘
to the presumed reading level of the reader?
+

. Is the tone appropriate to the situation, the purpose, and the reader? Is it consistent
throughout the text?
. Does the conclusion fulfill the intended purpose? At the end, will the reader understand the

Microcomposition Checklist : : :
» Check your sentences for grammar:
1. Is every sentence grammatically complete, with no sentence fragments? ;
2. In sentences with two or more independent clauses, are the clauses grammatically parallel,
and either connected by coordinating conjunctions or separated by semicolons, with no
run-ons?
3. Are subordinate clauses and verb phrases clearly related to the words they modify, with no.
dangling or misplaced modifiers?
4. Are the elements of each sentence consistent in grammar and in thought?
Do subjects agree with verbs?
Do pronouns agree with their antecedents and with each other in person and in number? -
s it clear which nouns the pronouns stand in for?
Are the verb tenses consistent?
f you have used lists, are the elements of each list grammatically parallel?
s the word order appropriate and easy to follow?

- Check your sentences for style:

1. Are the beginnings of your sentences varied—do some start with the subject, some with
introductory phrases or clauses, and a select few with reversed word order?
2. Have you varied the clause structure of your sentences—some simple, some compound,
and some complex?
3. Have you mixed your sentence lengths effectively—long sentences to convey information
and establish a rhythm, short sentences to get important points across?

Check your wording and usage:

1. Have you used vocabulary suitable to the reader and the situation?
2. Are your nouns concrete, tangible, and specific? .
(continued on next page)

Chapter 22 Revising and Editing 251

 : (continued from previous page)
3. Are your verbs active or passive, as is appropriate to the context?
4. Have you used adjectives and adverbs selectively and sparingly? Can you replace any
adjective-noun or adverb-verb combinations with carefully selected single nouns or
verbs?
5. Could you explain the reason for your choice of every word and its placement in the
sentence?
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. Have you used any words that you are not entirely sure about—the spelling, the meaning,
or the way the words should be used?
. Have you used any clichés? If so, can you justify using them? If not, can you think of
original expressions to replace them?
. Have you used any idiomatic expressions? If so, are you sure you have used them correctly
and appropriately?
. Have you used jargon, such as technical terms or acronyms? Are you sure the reader will
understand these terms?
&oe
@

» Check your punctuation:

il. Have you used periods at the ends of sentences and after abbreviations?
Ds Do question marks indicate the ends of interrogative sentences?
3 Have you used exclamation marks to emphasize especially important points or
statements? (Do not overuse this device!)
. Have you used quotation marks properly—for all direct speech, direct quotations from
sources, and titles of short works?
. Have you used, but not overused, commas to pace the reader's understanding ofthe text,
to separate internal parts of your sentences, and to clarify potentially ambiguous word
combinations?
. Have you used semicolons to separate parts of asentence that are grammatically distinct,
or to separate items in a complex list?
Is Have you used dashes and colons correctly?

Check your spelling, capitalization, and apostrophes:

Il, Have you checked the words you traditionally have trouble with?
2 Have you checked ie combinations, spelling changes caused by suffixes, and consonants
that must be doubled or not?
3, Have you used capital letters properly—for titles, names, places, months, countries, and so
on?
. Have you used apostrophes correctly—for possessive nouns and indefinite pronouns, or
for contractions?

Check your manuscript form:

Il. Has all your source material been suitably acknowledged and documented? (See Chapter 24, 1% :
u“
Documentation.)
. Have you used the proper format conventions for the form you are writing—memo, letter,
report, essay?

Now that the theory behind this stage of the composition process has been discussed,
it’s time to apply it to an actual sample of a student essay. Of course, just as no two
chefs, carpenters, or painters approach their work in quite the same way, neither do
any tw o writers. Yet most successful writers go through a surprisingly similar series
of step s to reach a polished, finished product.

252 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 Here is a summary of the steps in the final stage of the writing process.

Stage Four (Postwriting: Revising, Editing, and Proofreading)

1. Revise and edit the rough draft (some writers revise their work through many, many drafts
* — before they are satisfied).
* 2. Write the second draft.
» 3. Proofread (check grammar, spelling, style, and so on).
4. Check the final copy for errors (especially typos)

A Sample Student Essay in Its Fourth Stage

Some instructors have no problem with their students writing essays in the first
person (using the word J, for example). However, the following student essay is
written in a more formal tone, using the third person (without the pronouns J or
you). For model essays written in a formal tone, see Chapter 24, “Documentation,”
Chapter 25, “Argumentation,” Chapter 29, “Description,” Chapter 30, “Definition,”
and Chapter 31, “Classification.”

Sample Student Essay: Revising and Editing the Rough Draft

What follows is a rough draft that a student has written. In the margin are comments
that have been added by the student’s writing instructor to aid in revision. At this
stage, the student is focusing on organization and content rather than punctuation
and grammar. The student may correct some of the grammatical errors—for example,
upon rewriting, deleting, or adding material.

A more creative title? One Day Care

that does more to reflect
the thesis? Add an attention As any parent knows, not all day care centres are created equal, and as a
grabber: what is a parent's result, parents need to spend a great deal of time and attention selecting the
worst fear in dropping a day care centre their child will attend. Few consumer decisions parents make
child off at day care?
can have a greater impact on their child’s life than this one. Luckily, parents
should be able to recognize a good day care centre by examining its facilities,
programs, and staff.
Switch this paragraph with A good day care centre will offer a variety of programs designed to
the next one so that points stimulate a child’s physical, social, and intellectual development. Children
are discussed in the order
should be given the opportunity to learn and interact with groups as well as
they are introduced—
see last sentence of first
the opportunity to learn through individual activities. A good centre will offer
paragraph. Add a transition. a balance between structured and unstructured learning environments. In
Give an example of a addition to these programs, a good centre will provide nutritious meals and
program or programs.
snacks, as well as a quiet rest period after lunch. Parents should have the
opportunity to meet with their child’s caregiver regularly and should receive
regular feedback on their child’s behaviour and progress.
Add a transition. The facilities should be well maintained, safe, and attractive. On the
outside, there should be a fenced and shaded play area with a locked gate

NEL
Chapter 22 Revising and Editing 253
 so that strangers cannot wander into the playground. Equipment should be
safe and stimulating, and in order to protect young knees and elbows, the
playground should be surfaced with something other than cement. The play
area should also offer a variety of play experiences. On the inside, the entire
Add examples in support of
this point. facility should be in good repair, organized, and clean.
The most important component of a good day care centre is the people who
Add transitions that help work there. The centre should have performed background checks on all staff
the reader to recognize the members to ensure that no one with a criminal record has contact with children.
main supporting sentences. The staff should be professional; they should have degrees or training in child
development and first aid. There should be enough staff to adequately supervise
children, no more than a one-to-five ratio for infants and a one-to-ten ratio
for older children. The attitude and personality of the staff are also important.
Add a positive note to end Caregivers should be warm, friendly, and, above all, patient with children.
this paragraph. Nothing is worse than a staff member who loses patience and yells at a child.
A good day care centre will help that child develop into a responsible
Restate the three points
and well-adjusted adult. Once parents find a good day care centre, they can
upon which basis a day care
centre should be chosen. rest a little easier knowing that their child is receiving day care as good, if not
better, than they themselves would be able to provide.

Preparing the Final Copy

If you have worked hard in revising and editing the rough draft, you will feel proud of
the improvements you’ve made as you write the final copy.
At this stage of the writing process, it is time to proofread and to use the
“Checklist for the Final Copy,” which can be found near the end of Chapter 18, “The
Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay.”
In the revised version of the essay that follows, the revisions made in response to
the instructor’s comments and suggestions—in the left margin alongside the rough
draft above—are underlined.

The title has been changed

A Student Essay in Progress: The Revised Version
to reflect the thesis; now, it’s Choosing a Good Day Care Centre
much more specific.
Nothing is harder for working parents than dropping their child or children
off at a day care centre before going to work or school. At worst, visions of all
the horror stories they've heard on TV about abused, mistreated, or molested
children swim through their heads as they drive away.
At best, parents worry that their children are not
getting adequate
An attention grabber
that discusses the fears of stimulation, attention, or affection. As any parent knows, not all day care
parents has been added. centres are created equal, and as a result, parents need to spend a great deal
of time and attention selecting the day care centre their child will attend. Few
consumer decisions parents make can have a greater impact on their child’s

254 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 life than this one. Luckily, parents should be able to recognize a good day
care centre by examining its facilities, programs, and staff.
A transition for the topic To begin, the facilities, both exterior and interior, should be well
sentence has been added.
maintained, safe, and attractive. On the outside, there should be a fenced
This paragraph has been and shaded play area with a locked gate so that strangers cannot wander into
switched with the following the playground. Equipment should be safe and stimulating, and in order to
one in response to the
protect young knees and elbows, the playground should be surfaced with
instructor’s suggestion.
something other than cement. The play area should also offer a variety of
Examples of “play
play experiences. On the inside, the entire facility should be in good repair,
experiences” and ways in
which the facility could organized, and clean. There should be individual cubbies for each child’s
be organized have been coat and backpack, cots or mats for naps, and child-size tables, chairs
provided. Adding concrete sinks, and toilets. Also, walls and bulletin boards should be decorated with
detail of this nature
colourful, stimulating displays, preferably of the children’s artwork.
strengthens the paragraph.
In addition to offering excellent facilities, a good day care centre will
offer a variety of programs designed to stimulate a child’s physical, social,
A transition for the second
topic sentence has been and intellectual development. Programs such as art, music, and dance
added. stimulate all three skills at once. Children should be given the opportunity to
learn and interact with groups as well, as the opportunity to learn through
individual activities. A good centre will offer a balance between structured
and unstructured learning environments. In addition to these programs, a
good centre will provide nutritious meals and snacks, as well as a quiet rest
period after lunch. Parents should have the opportunity to meet with their
The transitions first, second, child’s caregiver regularly and should receive regular feedback on their child’s
next, and more important behaviour and progress.
than training, however
The most important component of a good day care centre is the people
have been added to begin
the main supporting who work there. First, the centre should have performed background checks
sentences in this paragraph on all staff members to ensure that no one with a criminal record has contact
for better organization with children. Second, the staff should be professional; they should have
of the supporting detail
degrees or training in child development and first aid. Next, there should be
and better flow of the
paragraph in general. enough staff to adequately supervise children, no more than a one-to-five
ratio for infants and a one-to-ten ratio for older children. More important
A positive example of
attitude has been added in than training, however, is the attitude and personality of the staff. Caregivers
response to the instructor's should be warm, friendly, and, above all, patient with children. Nothing
suggestion. It strongly is worse than a staff member who loses patience and yells at a child, and
suggests that a good day
nothing could be better than a caregiver who greets each child with a warm
care facility is not just one
with the absence
smile and makes each feel valued and special.
of negative attitudes, Parents should choose the centre their child attends based not on cost
but with the presence of or convenience but on the quality of the centre’s facilities, programs, and
positive ones.
staff. A good day care centre will provide a safe, supportive, and stimulating
A recap of the three main environment for a child and, and as a result, will help that child develop into
points in this essay has been a responsible and well-adjusted adult. Once parents find a good day care
added at the beginning of centre, they can rest a little easier knowing that their child is receiving day
the concluding paragraph.
care as good, if not better, than they themselves would be able to provide.

NEL
Chapter 22 Revising and Editing 255
 Making Revisions

Read the following paragraph. Based on the instructional material in Chapter 19, “The
Paragraph,” add suggestions for improvements in the left margin. Then proceed to
carry out these suggestions by writing the paragraph in a revised form.

It’s the last time |allow my younger sister to entertain without a chaperone of
my choosing. My apartment was an absolute mess. |came home to find beer
bottles everywhere. |found potato chips and peanuts under the sofa. Upon
closer examination, | could see cake icing on the wall, hard to see at first because
the icing was a very similar colour to that of the wall paint. The enamel of the
bathroom sink had been cracked. The superintendent called the next day to
inform me that the police had been called because of noise complaints from
several neighbours and that this would go on my record since the lease was in my
name. It wasn't until |got ready to take a shower that |discovered a male teenager
still passed out in the bathtub.

Making Revisions

Read both the first draft of the essay about day care above and the final product.
Considering the instructions in the left margin of the draft essay and the instructional
material on supporting details of the paragraph in Chapter 19 and ofthe essay in
general in Chapter 20, what different or further improvements could you make to the
final essay? Rewrite a new version ofthe final essay, underlining your improvements.

Working Together: Revising and Editing Activity

Write two to three paragraphs in answer to the following question:

Should volunteer work be a required component of a postsecondary

(college or university) education?

Take twenty minutes to write a first draft. Then exchange it with someone else
in class. Based on the content of this chapter, revise and edit the draft you’ve been
given; then discuss what you have done with the student who wrote the draft. What
have you learned from this revising and editing process?

256 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 a ada Liddell heer oore oe
(

The Research
Paper

The Research Paper

With a research paper, you can showcase your work. You finally have a chance to
sink your teeth into something you’ve been curious about. You can devote more time
to thinking about, reading for, and writing on a subject that interests you. Because a
research paper generally requires a fair amount of independent reading, you should
start it early—as soon as the project is assigned. You'll maximize your potential not
only for a higher grade, but also for major insights. Indeed, a research paper enables
you to go on a journey of intellectual discovery.

A research paper is a paper that presents research in support of a thesis. All ideas that are not
the writer's own are expected to be fully documented according to a specific academic style
such as Modern Language Association (MLA) or American Psychological Association (APA). For
more on documentation, see Chapter 24. A good research paper should be well researched, well
documented, and, most ofall, insightful.

Standard Essay Structure

Often a research paper is assigned in a course other than an English course. If this is
the case, it might be referred to by the instructor as a report or a review, rather than
an essay. Your instructor might, therefore, require a number of specific subheadings
and charts and graphs as part of the supporting detail in your paper. However, if the
paper is required to be, specifically, a research essay, the question becomes, “What is
the required format?”
Unless your instructor gives you specific direction, it can be assumed that the
research essay generally should follow the structure and format of a standard essay.
Usually, you will be given a word count requirement that is longer for a research

NEL
257
 essay than for a standard five-paragraph essay that might be scheduled to be written
in class during, for instance, a two-hour period. A five-paragraph essay could be
anywhere from 400 to 700 words, whereas a research essay might be 800 to 1200
words or longer if it’s a paper for university. Therefore, expect that a research essay
will have more than five paragraphs. Keep in mind that no paragraph in academic
writing, whether it be in a standard essay or a research essay, should be more than
twelve or fewer than five sentences long.
Often, even students who apply the rules of standard essay structure to in-class
essay assignments in an English course will forget to apply the same rules to a take-
home research essay—not just rules about paragraph length, but also those regarding
other aspects of essay structure and format, such as including a one-sentence
thesis in the first paragraph, writing topic sentences at the beginning of the support
paragraphs, inserting specific examples in each support paragraph, and so on. (For a
reminder of these rules, review Chapter 20: “The Essay.”)

Responsible Research
After you have your topic and some idea of the direction you want to take, it’s time to
start your research. Don’t worry about a thesis until after you’ve done some serious
reading. And once you've decided what your thesis is and what points you want to
make in support of it, make sure you can find at least two pieces of evidence for every
point you want to make. If you're finding this difficult to do, change your point, or
even your thesis, if necessary. When students report having trouble finding sources,
it’s often because they've set off in a certain direction (with a particular thesis in
mind) far too early in their research process. As you do more reading on your subject,
the direction your paper should take will become increasingly clear. Knowing too
quickly what you want to say and trying to force your research to support your ideas
can waste a great deal of time, not to mention frustrate you early in the process. Allow
yourself to learn. Find what exists, not what you want to see.

Books, Periodicals, and the Internet

If your topic is current, such as the topic of the sample research essay in the next
chapter (social media and relationships), you may find that most of your sources
will have to come from periodicals (materials published on a regular basis, such as
newspapers, magazines, and academic journals) and the Internet. But if your topic is
a well-established one, a good place to start is the library’s catalogue for a search of
relevant books. Ask the librarian for help. Every library is different. Until you are well
acquainted with your library’s resources, the librarian can give you some excellent
advice to start you on your way.

The Literary Research Essay

Primary versus Secondary Sources
If your instructor has assigned a research paper on literature, you may have to
research both primary and secondary sources. Primary sources are the works of

258 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 literature themselves. For example, if you are writing about Margaret Atwood, you
might look up some of the novels she has written: Cat’s Eye, The Handmaid's Tale,
and so on. These are primary sources. But your instructor may want you to also
include works by critics about her writing; these works are considered secondary
sources.

The General Topic Research Essay

Primary versus Secondary Research
For a general topic research paper, your instructor might require that you conduct
primary and secondary research. The first can be more time-consuming than the
latter. Secondary research is done upon a trip to the library or by research on
the Internet; primary research, however, might consist of an interview with
an expert on the subject; an experiment that you have designed and conducted,
including detailed observations; a survey that you have circulated among certain
people who qualify, and so on. You can always control the amount of time you
spend in a library. But when it comes to primary research, the process tends to get
more unpredictable and the plans you make don’t always work out. Just setting
up an interview, for example, can take more time than expected. Because the
interview involves another human being, their schedule might not coincide
with your own. The more time you give yourself to work on all of these things,
the better.

Internet versus Library Research

Most students have computers with access to the Internet at home. As a result,
whenever a research paper is assigned, the Internet is, for reasons of convenience,
the first step in the research process. When you do Internet research, it is important
to determine the legitimacy of the online sources you consult (more on this later in
the chapter). Too often, unfortunately, students do not go beyond the Internet. Your
instructor, however, may require you to do so. You may, for example, be instructed to
go to a library to do the kinds of research that are not possible via the Internet. If so,
ask a librarian for help.

internet Research

If you already have a very specific topic in mind, start with commonly used search
engines. Put in a string of keywords that are critical to your search and see what
hits you get. The best way to determine which search engine is most appropriate
is to try various ones yourself. The best one for you might depend on the project
you are engaged in, as well as on your personal preferences. Here are some
suggestions:

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Chapter 23 The Research Paper 259
 aya ts wat sia ete wes nlo/eie dials
Search Engines ...----.+- ewlineisetnees cient
* Google (www.google.ca) is the most popular search engine on the Internet. The same %
- company has also introduced Google Scholar (https://scholar.google.ca), which is
:academically oriented, pointing the researcher toward technical reports, academic papers,
* books, and so on. Other excellent search engines include the following:

¢ Bing (www.bing.com) :
« Yahoo! (https://ca.yahoo.com) :
© Ask (www.ask.com) rf

Academic Directories «°° «=: 2escsssscvcseecsecos kel els, uyedie iwiWielelsiecn cele oils) ©

-The majority of websites are commercial and therefore profit-oriented.

Their domains end with
com, so domains that end differently are often more useful for academic purposes: .ca, .Org, :
* edu, .net, or .gov. You can find these domains by doing an advanced search using Google: go to *
* the box labelled “Search within a site or domain’ then type in the desired suffix (such as .org).
> General directories aim to accommodate the general public. They do not meet the needs of
academic research. Here is a list of acadernic directories designed to help researchers in specific
~ areas:

The Virtual Learning Resources Center (www.virtuallrc.com) indexes thousands of academic

information sites, selected by teachers and library professionals worldwide.
e The WWW Virtual Library (www.vlib.org) is a multidisciplinary academic directory.
* Questia is an online library and research paper writing resource that is included with the
MindTap that accompanies this text.
e iSeekEducation (http://education.iseek.com) is a targeted search engine for students,
teachers, and administrators where you can search trusted resources from universities,
government, and established noncommercial providers.

TIP
Be specific in the choice of words that define your topic.

If your subject search turns up too many hits to begin with, narrow your search by adding
another term or by making the terms you've already entered more specific.

The use of quotation marks in your subject search can help you reduce the number of useless
hits. It is particularly useful for names. For example, if you want to look up London, Ontario, but
avoid all hits for London, England, type in “London Ontario”

By adding the word AND to your subject search, you narrow your search by requiring that one
subject be associated with the other in your hits.

By adding OR to your subject search, you broaden your search.

By adding NOTto your subject search, you can exclude a term you don't want to find, therefore
narrowing your search.

Using a Search Engine

Pick one ofthe following subjects and see what you can find using more than one
search engine. List three sources dealing with the subject of your choice.

1. Effects of global warming

260 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 2. Justin Trudeau's record as prime minister

3. Canadian soldiers in the Middle East

4, Medical uses for marijuana

Analyzing the Legitimacy of Online Sources

A great deal of excellent material can be found on the Internet, much of it free.
But not everything online is legitimate. In fact, because the electronic medium is
so difficult for governmental bodies to regulate, much illegitimate and even illegal
material, such as hate literature, goes unchecked and its producers avoid prosecution.
However, there are guidelines you can follow to make sure you are using only proper
sources. (Much of the following advice can also be used to assess the legitimacy of
regular print sources.)

1. Look for the name of the writer. If you find one, do an independent online search
of the name to see what, if anything, anyone else says about this person and what
associations this person has. Are the associations with reputable organizations?
If the source is not attributed to an actual name of a person, make sure that, at
the very least, a reputable organization claims responsibility for the material. Do
an independent online search of the organization. See what other organizations
say about it, and, ultimately, based on the information you have gathered, use
your common sense.
2. Is the writer of the source biased toward a particular point of view because
of a connection to an organization with a specific agenda? Be aware of the
one-sided approach of such writers. Do they give the other side fair play in their
writing? Is there a demonstrated respect for the other side of the argument? Try
to discern between a point of view and an attack on an individual or identifiable
group. (See the section “Common Fallacies” in Chapter 25, “Argumentation.”)
There are countless organizations, especially on the Internet, whose purpose, it
seems, is to spew hatred at a particular group or groups of people. Avoid these
attacks altogether. The writers who have the most credibility and develop the
best arguments on a topic are, without question, those with no obvious agenda
and no particular stake in the matter. Pieces written by such objective analysts,
therefore, often make the best sources for your research paper.

NEL Chapter 23 The Research Paper 261

 3. Is the writing well edited and relatively free of errors? Is the site well designed
and professionally presented? Has the site been revised recently, or does it seem
to have been abandoned after being established a long time ago? In other words,
how well is the site being maintained?
4. Are there links on the website? If so, where do they lead? Do they lead to other
academic materials? Or do they lead to commercial or entertainment sites?

The answers to any of these questions may not provide you with conclusive
evidence. But with more information at your disposal, you'll be better equipped to
assess the legitimacy of the sources you have found.

Fake News
Fake news does, in fact, exist. Someone might have an interest in spreading lies for the
purpose of falsifying history or for grabbing or maintaining power or for making more
money. It is often misused by certain politicians when they feel they are being attacked
by the media or when they simply don’t like what the media are saying about them.
When is fake news real? And when is the term being misused? Discerning the
difference is the responsibility of the reader or viewer. Someone who is accusing
something of being fake news cannot be automatically believed. They might be
counting on the ignorance of whoever is listening. If a leader calls something fake
news, they figure that many will believe the accusation simply because the listener
trusts the leader. This, of course, is faulty reasoning. It is specifically known as the
inappropriate appeal to authority (an arguer makes a claim knowing, for example,
they will be believed by most people simply because they are a leader). This notion,
in fact, makes it easier for leaders to lie and get away with it.
So how does the reader or viewer determine whether something is fake news
or not? Well, it’s important to remember that everything must be questioned, even
if something is considered to be common knowledge (for example, we are the good
ones; “they” are the bad ones). Here are some steps to take in a personal investigation
of the truth:

1. Has someone’s words been verified by an independent source?

2. How many sources have verified the news?
3. Are the sources that have verified the news considered legitimate and
independent?
4. Does the news source that verifies the news give the opposite point of view an
opportunity to make itself heard?
5. Does the source of the news have an obvious stake in the prospect that the reader
will believe the news to be true?
6. Is the source known to be reliable?
7. Is the source a proper authority on the subject?
8. Does the source have a reason to be biased?
9. Does the source’s claim conflict with expert opinion?
10. Does the person making the claim base it on evidence?

262 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 Evaluating Online Sources

Revisit the three sources you found in Exercise 1. Assess the legitimacy of these
sources using the above criteria.

Using Quotations
By the word quotation, this textbook means the exact words used by an author or a
speaker. Therefore, it is essential with quotations to use the word-for-word text of the
author (or the person who was quoted within the source you are using). Some quoting
is good because it breaks up text and generally makes an essay more interesting.
However, try to keep your quoting to a minimum. Quote only those things that you
cannot say better yourself. And remember, whenever you include a quotation, you are
expected to explain to the reader why the quotation appears in your essay and how
it connects to your thesis. You might also be expected to interpret the quotation if its
meaning is not evident already.
How you incorporate a quotation into your essay depends on how long the
quotation is. Short quotations are embedded within your regular paragraphs. Longer
quotations are indented and set apart from your regular paragraphs. For more about
using quotations, see Chapter 16, “Quoting.”

Working Together: Finding Appropriate Sources

Read the sample research paper entitled “Social Media and Relationships: A Few
Important Rules” in Chapter 24, “Documentation.” Find five sources on the Internet
that seem to oppose the point of view taken in the paper. Then answer the questions
below and discuss your answers with others in your group or class.
1. How do you know if the sources you have located are legitimate?
2. What were the subject headings (or search terms) you used?
3. Which other tips or information from the chapter did you use to help you find
appropriate sources?
4. Answer the following questions based on the information in this chapter and
your reading of the full text of some of the sources that you've found:
a. What observations have you made about these sources?
b. What observations have you made about the overall issue of the possible
connection between social media and relationships?

NEL Chapter 23 The Research Paper 263

 Documentation
-

Documentation
When your instructor assigns a research paper, ask what kind of documentation is
required. Is a particular academic style, such as American Psychological Association
(APA) or Modern Language Association (MLA) required? Are internal and end
references expected? How accurate must the punctuation for references be before
marks are deducted? This part of the research paper is considered unimportant by
many and is, therefore, often neglected. Instructors frequently complain, in fact, that
students end up losing more marks in this area than they should. So be sure to ask
what is required of you before you submit your final paper.

DEFINITION
Documentation is the formal acknowledgment of sources in a research paper. Correct
documentation makes sure credit is given for others’ work and protects a writer against charges
of plagiarism (theft of ideas). It involves a combination of citations (internal documentation) and
a listing of sources (end documentation).
The citations are inserted within the text of the research
paper, while the listing of sources is always at the end, on a separate page (or pages). A particular
academic style, such as MLA or APA, must be applied consistently to both the citations and the
list of sources.

For more on plagiarism, see Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing and Summarizing.”

Two Academic Styles of Documentation: APA and MLA

Although there are several academic styles of documentation, APA and MLA are the
two of the most common. APA stands for American Psychological Association. MLA
stands for Modern Language Association. These are universal styles in that they are

264 NEL
 known and used in research throughout the world. Which one is used depends on the
subject matter. Generally speaking, APA is commonly used for the physical and social
sciences: physics, medicine, psychology, sociology, and so on. MLA, on the other
hand, is used for subjects in the humanities, such as literature, philosophy, religion,
and the arts. In business, APA has, in most cases, replaced MLA. If the program in
which you are enrolled requires that you use one of these two styles in your research,
continue to apply the same style to English papers as long as your English professor
does not object. If it does not matter to your instructors which style you choose, you
might want to briefly examine the differences between the two styles outlined below
and choose the one that you think most suits your needs. Regardless of which one you
end up choosing, you must apply it correctly and consistently to both the internal and
the end documentation of a research paper.

Two Mandatory Parts of Documentation:

Internal and End
Both of the major academic styles involve two kinds of documentation in a research
paper:

« Internal documentation (sets of parentheses incorporated throughout the essay)

» End documentation (a list of sources on a separate page or pages at the end)

Connection between Internal and End Documentation

Often, students do not see the reason that both forms of documentation must
be provided in a research paper. They do not understand that the two are
interdependent: each one needs the other to be valid. A citation in the form of
parentheses surrounding information (usually author and page number in MLA or
author and year of publication in APA) is used to show exactly where an author’s idea
has been used in your paper, either in the form of a direct quotation or a paraphrased
or summarized idea. (See Chapter 15, “Paraphrasing and Summarizing.”) Using
the limited information between the parentheses, the reader can then go to the list
of sources at the end of the paper and find out exactly what publication or website
the idea was taken from. The reader can then locate the source if necessary for fact
checking, further research, and so on.

Citations Not Just after Direct Quotations

Many students believe that internal documentation or citations are required only
after direct quotations. They believe that if they put someone else’s idea into their
own words, then documentation is not required. This is not true. If an idea from
another author has been paraphrased or summarized and is not considered common
knowledge, its source must also be acknowledged in the form of both a citation and a
listing at the end of the paper. If you are not sure whether the idea youre thinking of
paraphrasing is common knowledge, check with your professor.

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Chapter 24 Documentation 265
 American Psychological Association (APA)
APA APA Format
The APA provides formatting guidelines for both professional and student papers.
Check with your instructor to be sure you understand their specific requirements.

- Title page: APA requires a separate page and provides a list of elements for
professional and student versions. For student papers, the title page contains the
title of the paper, your name and school, course name and number, the name
of your instructor, and the submission or due date. Capitalize key words in the
title (see Rule 5 in Chapter 12, “Capitalization”) and format it in bold, centred,
set three or four lines down from the top margin, and double-spaced if it is more
than one line long. Do not italicize, underline, or place quotation marks around
your title. Add one blank double-spaced line after the title, before your name.
Double space all other elements on the title page, and centre everything, left to
right. See the title page of the sample essay toward the end of this chapter.
» Page number: Put the page number at the top right margin on every page,
including the title page. You can do this using the “Header” option, found under
the “View” or “Insert” menu in most word-processing programs. APA does not
require a running head for student papers.

internal Documentation: Print Sources (APA)

Internal documentation in APA are referred to as in-text citations. What they include
(between parentheses) depends on what is already included in your text leading up to
the citation. A typical in-text citation immediately following a quotation includes the
author’s name, the year of publication, and the page number. See the following example.

When You Do Not Name the Author in Your Text

“The battlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every creature lives on
the death of another” (Campbell, 1973, p. 238).

See how the above in-text citation corresponds to the APA bibliographic entry
starting with Campbell under “Entry (from a References list).”
On the other hand, if the author is already named in your text, it is common
practice to put the year in parentheses immediately after the author’s name when it
is mentioned. After the quotation, the only citation necessary is the page number.
See the example below.

When You Name the Author in Your Text

In The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Joseph Campbell (1973) wrote, “The
battlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every creature lives on the
death of another” (p. 238).

266 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 When You Paraphrase or Summarize

When developing citations for paraphrased or summarized ideas rather than

quotations, there is no need for the page numbers; see the following example.

War is like life, in which some people have to die so that others can live
(Campbell, 1973).

Or

Campbell (1973) says that war is like life, in which some people have to die so
that others can live.

Or if two or more books by Campbell with the same publication date have been used
in the research:

Campbell (1973a) says that war is like life, in which some people have to die
so that others can live.

(Order such references alphabetically by title in the References list. Then add a, b,
and so on, to the publication year.)
For sources with two authors, include both names in every in-text citation. For
those with three or more authors, use only the name of the first author followed by
“et al.” every time.

(Green & Drewes, 2014)

(Volkow et al., 2011)

internal Documentation: Electronic Sources (APA)

Electronic sources include the same information as other sources, though most
of the time, for an electronic source, there will be no page number. In this case,
use a heading or section name. If quoting from the source, include the paragraph
number (count them manually if not already numbered).

(Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, n.d., Prevalence section)

If there is no author, use part of the title. If the title (or heading or section name) is
too long, shorten it and put it in quotes:

(“Cell Phones Not Linked,” 2005)

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Chapter 24 Documentation 267
 Remember to put article titles (or parts of article titles) in quotation marks, but to italicize titles of
major works such as books, journals, and newspapers.

End Documentation: Print Sources (APA)

The list of sources in APA style at the end of your essay is referred to as the
References. This is the word that should appear as the title of this list. The list of
entries under this title must be alphabetized according to the first word (usually the
author’s last name) of each entry. If two entries begin with the same name, go to the
year after the name and put the entry with the earlier year first, and so on.

Entry (from a References list)

The first name of the author is The year of publication comes in paren- The book title is in italics. For titles of books and articles,
abbreviated with the initial(s) theses immediately after the author's capitalize only the first word of the title and of the sub-
only, “name. The period immediately follows title, ifany, and any proper nouns. However, don't forget
the parentheses. to use the capitalization rule for titles (see Chapter 12)
when using these titles in the text of your essay.

ai
Campbell, J. (1973). The hero with a thousand faces.
we Princeton University Press.

The second line (and any subsequent ones) of a References list in APA style must be indented. If there
were a third line, it would align with the second line.

End Documentation: Electronic Sources (APA)

The general principle with electronic sources is that you should include as much
information as you can so that someone else can find your source. Make sure the full
URL (website address) is copied accurately. The slightest incorrect detail (a hyphen,
for example) can invalidate the entire URL. Provide URLs as hyperlinks. Don’t add
“Retrieved from” or “Accessed from” since the work is accessible via the hyperlink.
Format URLs either with the default settings of your word-processing program or as
plain text with no underline.
The following model is commonly used for citing electronic sources in APA style.

Article in a Periodical

The author's last name is fol- Because the source is a newspaper, the The title of the periodical is in italics. Because
lowed by only an initial, not date includes the day and month as well it is a major publication title, the regular capi-
the full first name. as the year. talization rules for titles apply (see Chapter 12).

McLean, C. (2006, July 28). Wireless overtakes local service. The Globe
and Mail. https://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/
wireless-overtakes-local-service/article18168819/
268 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL
 Digital Object Identifier (DO!)
If you consult an academic journal, you may find that the articles each have a digital object
identifier (DOI). This is a code designed to help researchers identify and locate
the article on the web, even if it is moved to a different part of a website. For example,
the article found at http://jama.ama-assn.org/content/305/8/808 has the DOI 10.1001/
jama.2011.186. Whether you have accessed the online version of a work or the print
version, if an item you used in your research has a DOI, provide the DOT in your
References list (if the print version does not have a DOI, don’t provide a URL instead). For
online sources with a DOI and a URL, provide only the DOI; if no DOT is available, use
the URL. Provide DOIs as hyperlinks, and don’t include the words “Retrieved from” or
“Accessed from” before the hyperlink. (Again, be sure to copy the DOI or URL accurately.)

Volkow, N. D., Tomasi, D., & Wang, G.-J. (2011). Effects of cell phone
radiofrequency signal exposure on brain glucose metabolism. JAMA.
305(8), 808-813. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.2011.186

Formatting APA Entries for a References List

Use the sources you found in Exercise 1 in Chapter 23. Format the entries for a
References list (end documentation) according to APA style. Remember to list them
alphabetically according to the first word of the entry.

Modern Language Association (MLA)

MLA MLA Format
Follow these guidelines for formatting a paper using the MLA style of
documentation. (The MLA Handbook, Eighth Edition, does not include formatting
guidelines. Formatting guidelines are unchanged from the seventh edition and are
provided at the MLA’s online Style Center at style.mla.org/.)

» Title page: For MLA style, a separate title page is not required unless your
professor requires one. If none is required, type the following information flush
left and double spaced, starting 2.5 cm (1 inch) from the top of your first page: your
name, your professor’s name, your course code, and the date the paper is submitted:
Johann Hilton
Professor Einstein
COMM 301
23 April 2020
- Ifyour professor does require a separate title page, centre your title (which should
be not underlined, not in quotation marks, and not in italics). Apply capitalization
rules for titles (see “Titles” in Chapter 20, “The Essay”). Centre the information
listed above underneath the title. Double space this information here, also.
« Headers: Create a header with your last name and the page number (e.g.,
Hilton 1) for the top right corner of all pages, beginning with the first page of your
paper (whether this is a separate title page or not). You will find the “Header”
option under the “View” or “Insert” menu in most word-processing programs.

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Chapter 24 Documentation 269
 This header also appears on the page containing the Works Cited list (see “End
Documentation: Print Sources (MLA)” later in this chapter).

Internal Documentation: Print Sources (MLA)

Internal documentation in MLA style is referred to as in-text citation or
parenthetical documentation. As in any citation style, an in-text citation must
appear after you refer to a source within your essay whether this reference is a direct
quotation or paraphrased idea.
The in-text citation usually consists of parentheses containing the author’s last
name and the page number from which you have taken the quotation or idea.

When You Do Not Include the Author’s Name in Your Text

“The battlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every creature lives on
the death of another” (Campbell 238).

Notice that there is no period before the end quotation mark. The period that ends the
sentence comes after the reference in parentheses. Also notice that there is no comma
between the author’s last name and the page number inside the in-text citation.
When you include the author’s name in the body of your text leading up to the
quotation or paraphrased idea, there is no need to include the name of the author
within the in-text citation. The page number is enough.

When You Include the Author’s Name in Your Text

Campbell states, “The battlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every
creature lives on the death of another” (238).

Notice there is still no period before the second (end) quotation mark. The period still
comes after the parentheses.

When the Source Has Two Authors

“Perhaps the Canadian experience can serve as a paradigm, since

Canadian writers also searched for a voice through much of the twentieth
century” (Sullivan and Levene 9).

When the Same Author Has Written At Least Two Sources

in Your Works Cited List

“The battlefield is symbolic of the field of life, where every creature lives on
the death of another” (Campbell, The Hero 238).

270 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

 Notice that you need to mention the title in the parenthetical reference if the author
is responsible for two different sources in your paper so readers can tell which work
is being referred to. But the title of the book need not be complete (the full title in
the example above is The Hero with a Thousand Faces). Ideally, use the first
noun and any adjectives that come before it. Leave out any definite or indefinite
articles (such as the or a). Any title (or part title) of a book must be italicized
(or underlined); the in-text citation is no exception.

Internal Documentation: Sources without Page Numbers (MLA)

Some sources—usually electronic ones—don’t always provide page numbers, and some
numbering systems that track your location in a work may vary from device to device.
For this reason, you should only use stable locators, such as chapter or paragraph
numbers (make sure you identify the type of locator you are using). If neither a page
number nor a paragraph number is provided, use the author’s last name only.

(Statistics Canada, par. 28)

(Rogers)

End Documentation (MLA)

As already discussed, documentation would not be complete without an
alphabetized Works Cited list in which all your sources are listed. This list starts
on a new page. When a reader sees an in-text citation such as (Campbell 238), they
may look right away at the Works Cited list to see more information on the book to
which you have referred. In the Works Cited list, the first thing the reader looks for
is the name Campbell, since it is the first thing in the in-text citation. The reader
might find a Works Cited entry like the one below.

Sample Works Cited Entry 1

The last name of the author The title of the book is in italics. Capi-
comes first. If there are two talization adheres to the rule for titles
authors, the second author's (see Chapter 12). All titles of major
name is given first name first publications should be in italics (or
and last name last. underlined), including books, magazines,
newspapers, albums,TV shows, and so on.

¥
Campbell, Joseph. The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Princeton UP,
1973.

The second line is indented. If The publisher's name is next. (If the name
includes University Press, the abbreviation UP
there were a third line, it would
can be used.) The publisher's name is followed
be indented also to line up
by a comma, then the year of publication.
with the indented second line.

NEL
Chapter 24 Documentation 271
 For each entry—whatever the format of the source—you should include what
the MLA Handbook, Eighth Edition, calls “core elements.” The core elements of a
citation are the name of the author; the title of the source you are quoting; the title
of the “container” (more on this in a moment); the names of any other contributors,
such as editors or translators; the version you are using; the number of the source; the
publisher of the source; the date the source was published; and the location within the
source of the piece you are quoting (for example, the page or the paragraph number).
Most of these elements are self-explanatory, but the “container” needs a few
words of clarification. When a source you are using forms part of a larger whole, you
should think of the larger whole as the container. For example, if you are quoting one
essay from a series collected in a book, the book is the container. If you’re quoting a
journal article, the journal is the container. If you’re quoting an article from a website,
the site itself is the container—and so forth.

Sample Works Cited Entry 2

The author's full name (if provided) The title and subtitle (if provided) of the web
appears, last name first, then the page or article appear in quotation marks with
first name, followed by a period. a period typed inside the end quotation mark.

Manuel-Logan, Ruth. “20 Facts about Maya Angelou that You May Not Know.”
The Sacramento Observer, vol. 51, no. 26, 5 June—11 June 2014, p. F4.
ProQuest 1540933764.

The title of the “container” of information (such as a journal

or website name) appears in italics, with the version or The newspaper article was accessed
volume number (if any), followed by the publication date. through ProQuest—so ProQuest must
For online sources, if no date is provided, use the date be listed as the second “container,” and
when the website was either established or last revised.) the article ID must be included.

« Both the title of a print source and the title of a website or other “container” are
italicized. Titles of articles appear in quotation marks.
- Use the publication date that is most relevant to your research. The original date
of publication or accessed date for a website may be included to provide context.
« If other contributors, such as editors or translators, were involved in the
production of the source, include their names (first name, last name) after the
title and the period. Their names are preceded by “Edited by,” “Translated by,”
and so on.
» Web sources do not include http:// or https:// (see style.mla.org/whats-new/).

Article in a Periodical (with Author’s Name)

McLean, Catherine. “Wireless Overtakes Local Service.” The Globe and

Mail, 17 Mar. 2009, www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/
wirelessovertakes-local-service/article18168819/.

272 Unit3 The Writing Process NEL

 Article in a Periodicai (without Author’s Name)

“Cellphone Radiation.” CBC News Online, 3 June 2004, www.cbc.ca/news2/

background/cellphones/radiation.html. Accessed 29 July 2015.

Article from a Database

Hardell, Lennart, et al. “Mobile Phone Use and Risk of Glioma in Adults.”
The BMJ, vol. 332, no. 7548, 2006, pp. 1035-1036. JSTOR, www.jstor
.org.ezproxy.library.yorku.ca/stable/25456794.

Formatting MLA Entries for a Works Cited List

Use the sources you found in Exercise 1 in Chapter 23. Format their entries for a
Works Cited page according to MLA style. Remember to list them alphabetically
according to the first word of the entry.

Sample Research Paper

An example of a formal research paper is presented below. The paper uses the APA
style of documentation. At the end, one paragraph from it and the end documentation
is repeated using the MLA style.

APA APA Sample Essay Using APA Style Documentation

Note: This sample title page follows the APA’s recommendations for student
papers. Confirm with your instructor whether they have any additional
requirements.

Note: This sample research paper demonstrates the correct usage of the
APA style of documentation. The format is typeset according to the
textbook’s design. For word-processed documents, APA recommends that
your essay be double spaced, on 8.5" X 11" paper, with 1-inch (2.5 cm) margins
on all sides. Use a clear font that is widely available. APA allows the use of a
number of serif and sans serif fonts, for example 12-point Times New Roman
or 11-point Calibri; however, the same font should be used throughout.
Left align the text and leave the right margin ragged; don’t use justified
alignment. Indent the first line of every paragraph 0.5 inches (1.25 cm).
Don’t use automatic hyphenation or manually break words at the end of a
line; automatic breaks for long DOIs or URLs applied by your word processing
program are permitted. Consult with your instructor for more information on
formatting to be sure you understand their requirements.

NEL
Chapter 24 Documentation 273
 Social Media and Relationships: A Few Important Rules

Marisa T. Cohen
‘ F le: ENG-1150
For example: Lethbridge College -———————» Name of school ie ages ‘:
Composition
Course code and name ee
___—® Name of instructor
For example: Professor Einstein
aa
For example: April 23, 2020

274 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 Social Media and Relationships: A Few Important Rules

Research has shown that social media can affect the quality of our
relationships. Several studies show, specifically, that the effects are
quite negative. This seems to contradict the experience of many people
who swear by online dating sites as a great place to meet people.
It wouldn't be practical to try to persuade people to abandon social
media entirely. Therefore, it makes more sense to offer suggestions as
to what people can do to safeguard their relationships when online.
In fact, one survey study with 205 Facebook users demonstrated that
a higher level of Facebook usage was associated with negative
relationship outcomes (Clayton et al., 2013). In addition, those rela-
tionships experienced Facebook-related conflict (Clayton et al., 2013).
Facebook usage has also been linked to increased feelings of jealousy
(Muise et al., 2009). Another study showed that exposure, after a
breakup, to an ex’s Facebook profile may hinder the process of
healing and moving on (Marshall, 2012). In fact, checking up on an ex’s
profile led to more distress over the breakup, more negative feelings,
and less personal growth (Marshall, 2012). Research has demonstrated
the toll that social media can take, not only on our current relationships
but also on our ability to form new relationships. However, getting off
social media is a challenge for many people, as a great deal of our com-
munication happens online. If we want to remain online, but safeguard
our relationships and ability to cope after a breakup, what steps can we
take to make our online environment a bit safer?
Unfollow and/or remove your exes from social media. It is nearly
impossible to get over a person if your social media feed is constantly
bombarded by pictures of him/her. If your goal is to remain
friends with your ex, an honest conversation with him/her noting
that you need your distance while the breakup is still fresh may be
worthwhile. You may choose to unfollow him/her (if an option on
the platform), rather than completely removing your former flame.
Muise et al. (2009) found in their study of 308 undergraduates that
“Facebook may expose an individual to potentially jealousy-provoking
information about their partner, which creates a feedback loop whereby
heightened jealousy leads to increased surveillance of a partner’s
Facebook page. Persistent surveillance results in further exposure to
jealousy-provoking information” (p. 443). In order to break this cycle,
try to remove yourself from social media to whatever extent possible.

Source: Marisa T. Cohen, “Social Media and Relationships: A Few Important Rules,” Psychology Today, 4 December 2018.

NEL
Chapter 24 Documentation 275
 Be aware of your online presence. Yes, breakups can be hard, and
yes, they can be very painful. However, it is important not to air any
dirty laundry over the internet. What you put out there has a way of
getting around and remaining public (even if swiftly deleted). If you
are having a tough time, it is important to seek support from family,
friends, and/or a professional. Do not solicit advice or vent about past
problems to your social media communities. This may come back to
haunt you. In addition, oversharing may actually alienate your other
online friends. Sharing too much has been shown to decrease the
quality of real-life relationships. A study with 508 Facebook users
found that sharing too many selfies can actually lead to a decrease in
intimacy in relationships (Houghton et al., 2013). The authors suggest
that a certain level of censorship is necessary so as not to alienate your
companions by your online behavior.
Carry out your new relationship(s) IRL and not through social media.
Focus less on creating the perfect social media story and enjoy the time
you spend with your partner and friends in real time in the real world.
If everything is distilled through a website, you aren’t making the most of
the time you spend together. A Danish study by the Happiness Research
Institute (2015) focusing on 1,095 participants found that those who
went a week without Facebook reported greater life satisfaction. There-
fore, it is important to cut back on your social media usage. While social
media can be a great way to connect with those we haven’t seen in a while
and keep in contact with family, co-workers, and friends, it can have
some negative side effects, especially when it comes to our romantic lives.
Be conscious of how you engage with social media and use it sparingly.
Avoid focusing too much on the past and live your life with your current
partner in a meaningful way, and not for the purpose of a “perfect” post.
Dating sites are a big part of social media. Many people, especially
those who have met their partners online, swear by them. But research
shows that the ability to cultivate our relationships can be hampered by
online activity. So how can we capitalize on social media without doing
harm to our relationships at the same time? There are steps we can take
to minimize the potential damage.

276 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 References

journal article Clayton, R. B., Nagurney, A., & Smith, J. R. (2013). Cheating, breakup, and
divorce: Is Facebook use to blame? Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social
Networking, 16(10), 717-720. https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2012.0424
report by an organization Happiness Research Institute. (2015). The Facebook experiment:
Does social media affect the quality of our lives? https://6e3636b7
-ad2f-4292-b910-faa23b9c20aa.filesusr.com/ugd/928487
_680fc12644c8428eb728cde7d61b13e7.pdf
scholarly paper Houghton, D., Joinson, A., Caldwell, N., & Marder, B. (2013). Tagger’s delight?
Disclosure and liking in Facebook: The effects of sharing photographs
amongst multiple known social circles (Birmingham Business School
Discussion Paper Series). University of Birmingham. http://epapers.bham
.ac.uk/1723/1/2013-03__D_Houghton.pdf
journal article Marshall, T. C. (2012). Facebook surveillance of former romantic part-
ners: Associations with post breakup recovery and personal growth.
Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 15(10), 521-526.
https://doi.org/10.1089/cyber.2012.0125
journal article Muise, A., Christofides, E., & Desmarais, S. (2009). More information than you
ever wanted: Does Facebook bring out the green eyed monster of jealousy?
CyberPsychology & Behavior, 12(4), 441-444. https://doi.org/10.1089/
cpb.2008.0263

Other Examples of References

newspaper article Bruno, N. (2017, April 14). Art Cart is a crafty idea to improving mental health.
TorontoStar. https: //www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/2017/04/14/
art-cart-is-a-crafty-idea-to-improving-mental-health. html
webpage (with organization Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. (n.d.). Mental illness and addiction:
as author) Facts and statistics. https://www.camh.ca/en/driving-change/the-crisis-is
-real/mental-health-statistics
video ColoradoChildren’s Hospital.(2014,September21). Howarttherapychangedmy
life [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rhw4spxVqNo
audio podcast Finnerty, T. (Host). (2013, February 4). Art therapy with Cathy Malchiodi
(No. 5) [Audio podcast episode]. In Mental Health Day Podcast. https://
www.cathymalchiodi.com/resources/audio-podcasts/
book with two authors Green, E. J., & Drewes, A. A. (2014). Integrating expressive arts and play
therapy with children and adolescents. Wiley.
blog post Kvarnstrom, E. (2017, July 14). Using art therapy to create freedom from
depression. Bridges to Recovery Blog. https://www.bridgestorecovery
.com/blog/using-art-therapy-to-create-freedom-from-depression/
magazine article Malchiodi, C. (2013, February 27). Yes, Virginia, there is some art therapy
research. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/
arts-and-health/201302/yes-virginia-there-is-some-art-therapy-research

Chapter 24 Documentation 277

 MLA Sample Essay Using MLA Style Documentation
A portion of the previous essay is being repeated here to demonstrate how the same
text would look using MLA parenthetical references (citations). A full Works Cited list
in MLA style (the equivalent of the APA References list) is also provided.

| Cohen 3

|
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ee ee Toe Sk, eet ee ee ee pe I oe ee

Me NN

In fact, one survey study with 205 Facebook users demonstrated that a
higher level of Facebook usage was associated with negative relationship
outcomes (Clayton et al. 718). In addition, those relationships experienced
Facebook-related conflict (Clayton et al. 718). Facebook usage has also
been linked to increased feelings of jealousy (Muise et al. 441). Another
study showed that exposure, after a breakup, to an ex’s Facebook profile
may hinder the process of healing and moving on (Marshall 521). In fact,
checking up on an ex’s profile led to more distress over the breakup, more
| negative feelings, and less personal growth (Marshall 522). Research
| has demonstrated the toll that social media can take, not only on our
current relationships but also on our ability to form new relationships.
However, getting off social media is a challenge for many people, as a
| great deal of our communication happens online. If we want to remain
|
| online, but safeguard our relationships and ability to cope after a breakup, |
| what steps can we take to make our online environment a bit safer?

[esa RES OT ORIN

i Bd Clare eae Lee RS Oe ESOT =. ORS = ee

278 Unit 3 =The Writing Process NEL

 Cohen 6

Works Cited

journal article Clayton, Russell B., et al. “Cheating, Breakup, and Divorce: Is Facebook Use
to Blame?” Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking, vol. 16,
no. 10, 2013, pp. 717-720. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0424.
report by an organization The Facebook Experiment: Does Social Media Affect the Quality of Our Lives?
Happiness Research Institute, 2015, www.happinessresearchinstitute.com.
scholarly paper Houghton, David, et al. “Tagger’s Delight? Disclosure and Liking in
Facebook: The Effects of Sharing Photographs amongst Multiple Known
Social Circles.” Birmingham Business School, 2013, www.epapers.bham
.ac.uk/1723/1/2013-03_D_Houghton.pdf.
journal article Marshall, Tara C. “Facebook Surveillance of Former Romantic Partners:
Associations with Post Breakup Recovery and Personal Growth.”
Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, vol. 15, no. 10, 2012,
pp. 521-526. doi:10.1089/cyber.2012.0125.
journal article Muise, Amy, Emily Christofides, and Serge Desmarais. “More Information
Than You Ever Wanted: Does Facebook Bring Out the Green-Eyed
Monster of Jealousy?” CyberPsychology & Behavior, vol. 12, no. 4, 2009,
pp. 441-444. doi:10.1089/cpb.2008.0263.

Other Works Cited Entry Examples

newspaper article Bruno, Natasha. “Art Cart Is a Crafty Idea to Improving Mental Health.”
Toronto Star, 14 Apr. 2017, www.thestar.com.
webpage “Mental Health Statistics.” Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, www
.camh.ca. Accessed 13 July 2018.
video “How Art Therapy Changed My Life.” YouTube, uploaded by Colorado
Children’s Hospital, 21 Sept. 2014, www.youtube.com/watch?v
=Rhw4spxVqNo. Accessed 18 July 2018.
audio podcast Finnerty, Timothy. “#5: Art Therapy with Cathy Malchiodi.” Mental
Health Day Podcast, 4 Feb. 2013. www.cathymalchiodi.com/resources/
audio-podcasts/. Accessed 20 July 2018.
book with two authors Green, Eric. J., and Athena A. Drewes. Integrating Expressive Arts and Play
Therapy with Children and Adolescents. Wiley, 2014.
blog post Kvarnstrom, Elisabet. “Using Art Therapy to Create Freedom from Depression.”
Bridges of Recovery, 14 July 2017, www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/using
-art-therapy-to-create-freedom-from-depression/. Accessed 22 July 2018.
magazine article Malchiodi, Cathy. “Yes, Virginia, There Is Some Art Therapy Research.”
Psychology Today, 27 Feb. 2013, www.psychologytoday.com. Accessed
14 July 2018.

Chapter 24 Documentation 279

 Questions for Analysis
1. What, in your own words, in one sentence, is the thesis of this research essay?
2. Which sentence in particular presents the author’s thesis?
3. What is the evidence that supports the thesis?
4. Does the author provide evidence that contradicts her thesis? If so, what is it?
5. If you answered yes to question 4, do you think this evidence helps or hinders the
author’s argument?
6. Is the author’s argument effective? Why or why not?
7. Who is the intended audience?
8. What does the author want her audience to think or do as a result of reading this
essay?
9. Do the sources seem legitimate? Why or why not? _
10. The first sentence of the fifth paragraph is as follows: “Carry out your new
relationship(s) IRL and not through social media.” What are examples of how to
do this? Why is it so necessary to instruct readers in this way?

Working Together: Documenting Sources

For this activity, which is competition-based, the class will need to be equipped with
computers, or everyone will need a laptop with Internet access. Form groups of at
least three people. If you haven’t already done so, read the sample research essay
(“Social Media and Relationships: A Few Important Rules”). Pretend that your group
is planning to do more research on the issue of the possible effects of social media on
relationships. Find as many sources as possible, and create a list of sources of which
half seem to support the point of view taken in the essay and the other half seem to
refute it. Be sure your list follows either MLA or APA style correctly (you must use
one or the other consistently for the whole list). After one hour, the group with the
longest list of correctly documented end sources wins.

280 Unit 3 The Writing Process NEL

Unit IV Writing Strategies for —
e Paragraph and Essay ©

Chapter 25 Argumentation
Chapter 26 Cause and Effect
Chapter 27 Comparison and/
or Contrast
Chapter 28 Process
Chapter 29 Description
Chapter 30. Definition
Chapter 31 Classification
Chapter 32. Narration.
 All the chapters in this unit apply to both the paragraph and the essay. If you want,
you can move immediately to the essay portion of any chapter (found roughly in
the middle of the chapter). However, you might still want to scan the first half of
the chapter to see if you can pick up anything that could be of value to your writing
experience. After all, where writing strategies are concerned, a great deal of what
applies to the paragraph applies to the essay as well. Most suggested topics for
paragraphs, for example, can also be used for essays and vice versa.

f \ @ | ae b ii wl
BUGAe Fy yee 1g 12 aGaG

Your purpose in many writing assignments might be to describe, narrate, or explain

by using various writing strategies for development. Still another purpose in writing
is to argue. In fact, argumentation is “arguably” the most important strategy
because it is the one we use most often to achieve a goal.

DEFINITION
Argumentation is an attempt to change the reader's present viewpoint or at least to convince
the reader that your viewpoint is valid.

Every time you write a paper for a course, you are trying to persuade your
professor that what you are presenting is a reasonable view of the subject. You
might want to show, for example, that Canadian airlines are among the safest in
the world or that the crime novel is becoming Canada’s favourite form of fiction.
As you approach these types of assignments, you need to be aware of each part of
the argumentative process so that you will be able to both analyze other people’s
arguments more effectively and write better ones of your own.

282 NEL
 Argumentation versus Persuasion
You could view most writing as persuasive, since one of the writer’s main goals is to
get the reader to see, think, and believe in a certain way. Although persuasiveness
is a quality of all paragraph and essay writing strategies (narration, classification,
etc.), formal argumentation is considered a separate writing strategy altogether,
one that follows guidelines. If you have ever been a member of a debating team, you
have spent a good deal of time studying this special form. How to use techniques of
argument in your own writing is the main subject of this chapter.

Persuasive Appeals That Are Not Logical

Logic is always at the root of a good argument. However, effective persuasive
techniques can also include an appeal to emotion, aesthetic appeal (appeal to a
person’s sense of beauty or appearance), and a restatement of a common point of
view. These techniques are not necessarily wrong in themselves, but overuse or
exclusive use of them can prove counterproductive.

» Appeal to emotion: Causing the reader to have a strong feeling can be an

extremely effective persuasive technique. The writer makes the reader extremely
sad, for example, by discussing the homelessness of a child. We can’t help but
identify with the child in some way, perhaps because of their innocence.
« Appeal to aesthetics: Everyone has a sense of what is beautiful, even if this
sense changes slightly from one individual to another. Advertisements on TV
(and, it can be argued, most TV programs and films) use this type of appeal to sell
products and services and to boost ratings.
» Appeal to common points of view: Writers sometimes take advantage of
what they know are common beliefs, such as cultural values, to get their point
across, even if these views are illogical. It’s a safe bet that many readers will be on
their side because of the popular appeal of the belief.

Other Strategies for Argumentation

Some of the strategies you will read about in this text also fall under the umbrella of
argumentation. Cause and effect, another writing strategy discussed later in this unit,
is argumentative most of the time. For example, the sample research essay on social
media and relationships in Chapter 24 argues that despite the term social media, it
can have a very antisocial effect on our relationships. On the other hand, many people
argue that social media most often cause relationships to begin, grow, and prosper.

Critical Thinking and Analysis

Students sometimes wrongly offer paraphrasing and summarizing (see Chapter 15)
where argumentation is expected. Many instructors at the postsecondary level, in
fact, agree that it is the original use of critical thinking and analysis that usually sets
an “A” paper apart from others. Thinking critically and analyzing arguments are vital
components in the argumentation process.

NEL
Chapter 25 Argumentation 283
 What Is Critical Thinking?

Critical thinking is evaluating an argument. This skill is used to determine how convincing
someone else’s argument is for making a decision or for helping you establish a credible
argument of your own.

Critical Thinking in Everyday Life

Critical thinking is something you should practise every day, not just when forming
an argument but also when considering the arguments of others. When you listen
toa TV commercial, you should be asking, “Does this make sense?” Of course, an
advertisement can still be effective even without a good argument; for example, it
might carry with it an emotional or aesthetic appeal, as discussed earlier.
Most of the time, however, it is important that things do make sense. What you
choose to eat, for instance, is probably not based only on what tastes good; you have
to consider nutrition and other factors. How you vote in the next election likely does
not just depend on how the candidates look on TV, but also on how much sense they
make in their answers to questions. You are always making decisions, and much of
the time, though surely not all the time, you are making those decisions based on
some aspect of critical thinking.

More Tools and Components of Argumentation

As mentioned earlier, the more familiar you become with the different parts of the
argumentation process, the more likely you will be able to develop more effective
arguments of your own (Figure 25.1 pulls together the components of an argument).

Claim Capital punishment should be brought back to Canada.*

+ Evidence 1. It costs too much to keep a murderer in jail.

2. Aserial killer is not likely to be rehabilitated. |
3. The punishment should fit the crime.

An Argument** — The combination of both components

(claim and evidence) above

* Note that the words |believe are not used in the claim.

** Note that “An” suggests this is only one person's argument that can be supported or refuted by someone else.

Figure 25.1: Components of an Argument

| DEFINITION
Analysis is the process of breaking down an argument made by someone else to assess its
validity and either support it or criticize it and, perhaps, suggest a better argument.

Original analysis is often what sets apart a superior student paper from others,
especially those that do not engage in analysis at all but merely quote, paraphrase, or
summarize material from research conducted.

284 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 A claim is a position taken by a writer; it must be supported to establish credibility in the minds of
readers. A clairn may also be called the conclusion of an argument. Where an essay is concerned,
it may be the thesis statement; in a paragraph, it may be the topic sentence.

Evidence is a collection of facts or premises provided to support a claim made by the writer in
order to establish the credibility of that claim. In a paragraph or an essay, the evidence is often
referred to as supporting detail or just support.

DEFINITION
An argument is the combination of a claim and the evidence used to support that claim. If an
essay contains an argument, the essay is referred to as an essay of argumentation.

When you make a claim or write a topic sentence or thesis, there is no need to
actually say “I believe” or “I think” because these words are, in fact, implied. It is
generally agreed upon that the use of the word J, in particular, makes the argument
seem less effective. The word IJis usually avoided when writing in a formal tone, such
as in a research paper.

Underlying Assumptions
When an argument is made, a claim and its supporting detail are often clearly
expressed. What is often not apparent is an assumption underlying the argument.
An underlying assumption is a belief that someone holds about oneself,
others, or the world that they consider indisputably true. An entire argument
can fail if a faulty underlying assumption is detected, identified, and discredited.

Example: Peter would be a great choice of a marriage partner.

(claim)
Peter is rich. (evidence)
Anyone who is rich is a great choice of a marriage partner.
(underlying assumption)

Why Are Underlying Assumptions Not Expressed?

Writers fail to express underlying assumptions for two basic reasons: (1) they are
unaware of their own assumptions, or (2) they don’t want to draw attention to the
underlying assumptions of the argument because, at some level, they know these
assumptions are logically indefensible or, at the very least, unacceptable to many
readers. Underlying assumptions may be the result of a writer’s upbringing, religion,
community values, and so on. For example, racist sentiment or religious intolerance
is an underlying assumption of many so-called arguments, even though you
won’t hear many people actually saying, “People outside of my race or religion are
inferior.” Arguments built on top of such underlying assumptions must be constantly
questioned and critically assessed.

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 Analyzing the Intention of Argument:
The Importance of Virtue
Good writing should depend not only on effectiveness, but also on good intentions.
Consider the actions of the characters in the movie In the Company of Men (dir. Neil
Labute, 1997), in which two men decide to target a young deaf woman who works at
the same company. As part of a betting game, they both try to get her to fall in love
with them, and one succeeds. In the end, she is emotionally crushed when she finds
out that the man she has fallen in love with has no intention of being with her. The
other man, who, in the meantime, does actually fall in love with her, asks the first
man why he has hurt her so. The man replies, “Because I could.”
Communication, like behaviour, cannot be independent of morality. More
important than a writer’s ability to convince ought to be their intention. For example,
does the writer appear to be interested only in benefiting themselves, or their own?
Or is there a more honourable attempt to achieve a greater good? Richard L. Epstein
and Carolyn Kernberger, in the preface to their book The Pocket Guide to Critical
Thinking, wrote, “Because your reasoning can be sharpened, you can understand
more and you can avoid being duped. You can reason well with those you need to
convince. .. . But whether you will do so depends not just on method, not just on the
tools of reasoning, but on your goals, your ends. And those depend on virtue.”

We Become What We Communicate

Whether you are formulating an argument of your own or responding to the
argument of someone else, an analysis of the arguer’s intention and underlying
assumptions, which are often not obvious, is an essential part of critical thinking and
communication. Ultimately, the way we think and the way we communicate influence
what we do and what we become. The method of arguing well is critical, but so is the
reason behind the argument itself.

Argumentative Techniques
1. State a clear topic sentence (for a paragraph) or thesis (for an essay).
Take a clear stand or position. You might want to use words such as must, ought,
and should, although they are, of course, not necessary (see the third thesis
below). For example:

Canada’s military should be better funded.

Canada must reform its prison system.
Romantic love and marriage are inevitably incompatible.
All information on the Internet should be free.

2. Use examples. Well-chosen examples are the heart of any paragraph or essay.
Without them, the writing is flat, lifeless, and unconvincing. Providing a good
example for each of your main points helps make a much stronger argument.
Examples help your reader see what you are talking about.

286 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 3- Use opinions from recognized authorities to support your points.
One of the oldest methods of supporting an argument is to cite one or more
authorities that lend weight to your position. People usually believe what well-
known experts claim. You should choose your experts carefully to help make your
position on the topic more persuasive; be sure that your authority is someone
who is respected in the area you are discussing. For example, if you are arguing
that we must end the nuclear arms race, your argument will be stronger if you
quote a respected scientist who can accurately predict the consequences of a
nuclear war. Quoting a famous movie star saying the same thing might be more
glamorous and get more attention, but would not be as convincing, as the star
would not be as great an authority as the scientist.
4. Answer your critics in advance. When you point out beforehand what your
opposition is likely to say in answer to your argument, you are writing from a
position of strength. You are letting your reader know that you are aware that
there is another side to the argument you are making. By pointing out this other
side and then answering its objections in advance, you are strengthening your
own position.
5. Point out the results. Help your reader see what will happen if your argument
is (or is not) believed or acted upon as you think it should be. You should be
specific and rational when you point out results, making sure that you avoid
exaggeration of any kind. For example, if you argue against the possession
of handguns, it would be an exaggeration to say that everyone is going to be
murdered if the opposition’s point of view is listened to instead of yours.
6. Define certain terms that are central to the argument. Often there seems
to be disagreement where there should not be any, simply because the people
who appear to be arguing have not defined their terms. For example, the term
religion is potentially quite controversial in itself. Does it mean an organized
system of beliefs that might be political as well as spiritual? Or does it refer to
a narrower definition: the expression of a belief in the divine? Or perhaps its
meaning refers to its Latin root, which translates literally as “to bind back.” If it’s
the third definition that both parties agree upon, what does it mean to bind back
to—old ways of living and traditions, or one’s spiritual instead of material values?
Or is religion an individual’s way to bring about reconciliation with the paradoxes
of human life? Clearly, before arguing what the benefits or harm of religion are,
it is critical that a writer first define the term. The same is true, of course, of
countless other terms and concepts.
7. Avoid common fallacies (errors) in your argument. And use critical
skills in analyzing the fallacies of others. Several common fallacies are outlined in
the next section.

Common Fallacies
Common fallacies help us identify bad arguments because they are based on faulty
reasoning. It is impossible to present a definitive or complete list of all possible fallacies
an argument might contain, but the following are some of the most common ones.

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 Try to learn to recognize these fallacies whether you can name them or not—that way
you can criticize them in someone else’s bad argument and prevent employing them
in your own.

1. Ad hominem attack: In this fallacy, the person making the argument

expresses a personal attack against an opponent-—literally, an attack on the
person—rather than addressing the actual issue. Often, when someone resorts to
the ad hominem attack, it is in desperation, because she or he cannot find actual
evidence to support a claim that makes someone else look bad.
For example, Kim Campbell, the first and only female prime minister of
Canada, ran for election against Jean Chrétien of the Liberal Party in 1993.
The following was an argument made by the Liberals during the campaign, a
campaign infamous for personal attacks made by both parties:

Kim Campbell is a divorcee. If Kim Campbell couldn’t manage her

marriage, how could she possibly manage the country?

This is clearly an ad hominem attack on Kim Campbell. First, a divorce in

itself is not necessarily the result of the inability to “manage a marriage.” And
second, it cannot automatically be argued that her divorce has anything to do
with whether or not she is capable of serving as prime minister.
During the same campaign, the Conservatives were also guilty of an ad
hominem attack. A photograph in which Chrétien’s partial facial paralysis was
prominent was used in a Conservative ad until it was pulled amid a huge public
outcry.
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, son of the late Pierre Trudeau, another
former prime minister of Canada, gave a eulogy at his father’s funeral in 2000.
He said that as a child, with the aim of gaining his father’s approval, he insulted
a man whom he knew was his father’s political rival. His father, with a stern
look on his face, told Justin that it was fine to criticize someone’s point of view,
but that this ought to be done without attacking the individual on a personal
level. Everyone, after all, deserves to live with dignity and respect. No one has
the right to take those away. An ad hominem attack, unfortunately, aims to do
just that.
. Practical (common) point of view or belief (also known as the
democratic fallacy): The person making an argument takes advantage of
a common point of view to persuade the reader of another point of view. The
danger here is the assumption that the will of the majority determines what is
right and what is wrong. Mahatma Gandhi of India, on the other hand, once said
that history will judge a country on the basis not of how it treats its majority, but
of how it treats its minorities. This statement speaks volumes.

Example: The teacher asks the students, “Is it okay to lie?” One student
responds, “Lying is okay because everyone does it.”

First, the assumption here is dangerous. The student assumes that

everyone lies. She may have evidence that her parents have lied on occasion.

288 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Her friends might lie even more often. She sees evidence in the news of heads
of state lying. And so the student’s conclusion is that everyone lies. But these
examples of evidence do not support the idea that everyone lies. Unless the
student has evidence that actually shows all people lie (evidence that would be
impossible to obtain), such a broad statement should never be made. Second,
even if it could be proven that everyone does lie, does that make it fine for the
student to lie? Is it not possible that everyone is doing something that is wrong?
3. Straw man (“Putting words into someone’s mouth”): This fallacy
consists of an attack on an argument that is similar to, but not exactly the same
as, the one your opponent holds. For example, former U.S. president Bill Clinton
vehemently told his country that he did not have sexual relations with former
White House intern Monica Lewinsky. He meant what he said very technically,
in that he did not have intercourse with her, when in fact he knew he was
being accused of an improper relationship with her in general. He was guilty of
employing a “straw man” to dispute a claim he knew to be true.
4. False analogy: This fallacy occurs when an argument involves an unfair
comparison. When two things are so different they cannot be compared, but
someone tries anyway, they are making a false analogy.

Example: Guns don’t kill people. People kill people. Guns are like cars.
Therefore, it should be just as easy to get a gun as it is to get a car.

The fact is, guns are not like cars. A car is a vehicle. A gun is a weapon.

Writing the Paragraph of Argumentation

In other chapters in this unit, more emphasis is placed on the development of the
paragraph than on the essay. This chapter takes the opposite approach. The most
effective arguments are those supported by several points that are treated thoroughly.
For this reason, an essay of argumentation is usually a more effective piece of writing
than a single paragraph of argumentation, so long as the points are thoughtful, well
expressed, and directly supportive of the writer’s overall assertion or claim. However,
that is not to say that a good paragraph of argumentation cannot be written. Of
course it can. If you do attempt to write such a paragraph, just remember to establish
your claim in the form of a topic sentence that is clear and strong, and to make sure
your supporting details include the strongest evidence in support of your claim that
you can find. (See Chapter 19, “The Paragraph.”)

Developing Paragraphs: Argumentation

The following argumentative paragraph was written in response to Questions 5 that
follows the narrative essay “Transparent Silhouette” in Chapter 32.

Question: Did the writer foreshadow the ending of the essay? (In other
words, are there several clues throughout the essay that enable the reader to
predict the eventual death of the writer’s friend?)

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Chapter 25 Argumentation 289
 Model Paragraph: Clues of an Unhappy Ending
Many clues exist in the story by Akis Stylianou that his friend will end up
dead. First, there is the title of the essay itself: “Transparent Silhouette.”
It might conjure up the mental picture of the outline of a ghost. Second, in
the third line in the first paragraph of the story, Stylianou uses the words
“the woman I knew’; “knew,” after all, is in the past tense, not the present.
Third, the last line in the first paragraph includes the words “where I can
delay my misery.” If Stylianou is miserable because of his friend, whatever
has happened to her cannot be good. Fourth, the second paragraph describes
her sad childhood, full of abuse and the loneliness that results. A traumatic
childhood is often, though not always, an omen of bad things to follow in life.
Finally, the events Stylianou describes throughout the story seem to get more
and more dangerous, starting with getting mixed up with the “wrong” crowd,
becoming an exotic dancer, and finally becoming a porn star. In conclusion
the abundant clues throughout the story strongly suggest that the writer’s
friend will end up in a very bad state, as she does.

Questions for Analysis

1. How can you tell from the form of this text that it is one paragraph, and not two
or three?
. Is the paragraph a proper length, according to what Chapter 19 says about
paragraph structure?
- What is the topic sentence? Does it directly answer the question?
. Are there transitions in the paragraph? What are some examples?
. Is there sufficient support of the topic sentence? Discuss.
. Is
BW
Am the difference between the main supporting details and specific examples or
explanations that support them apparent?
. Is there a concluding sentence in this paragraph? If so, what is it?
. Is the transition “finally” used for the last supporting detail of the paragraph or
for the concluding sentence?

Developing Essays: Argumentation

A story editor for Entertainment One (eOne) in Vancouver, Stephanie Rosloski is a
former student at Humber College in Toronto where she wrote the following five-
paragraph argumentation essay in her English class. Her essay is unique in that it
suggests that the character of Ophelia in Shakespeare’s famous play Hamlet is more
significant than most people seem to think. The author also argues that Ophelia’s
demise is largely contributed to by harmful ideas about love imparted to her by the most
influential loved ones in her life, who all happen to be men: her boyfriend (Hamlet),
her brother (Laertes), and her father (Polonius). Does this portrayal of love by men in
Hamlet resonate at all when it comes to some men’s treatment of women today
(400 years later)? (See “Not Just Hollywood,” by Leah McLaren in Unit V.)

290 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Model Essay: Ophelia’s Terror
by Stephanie Rosloski*

The influences that loved ones have in people’s lives usually play a large
part in developing their ideas. This situation is true for the character of
Ophelia in William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. Ophelia’s life is slowly turned
from happiness to ruin when her loved ones lead her to believe that love is
madness. Her downfall is caused by Laertes, Hamlet, and Polonius.
Before Ophelia’s brother, Laertes, leaves for Wittenberg, he talks to his
sister about love. Laertes tries to instill fear in Ophelia by telling her to be
afraid of love:

Fear it, Ophelia, fear it my dear sister

And keep you in the rear of your affection,
Out of shot and danger of desire
The chastest maid is prodigal enough
If she unmask her beauty to the moon.
I, ili (33-37)
Because Ophelia loves and trusts her brother, she believes whole-heartedly
in everything he says to her. His description of men’s affections is one
that is very scary for a girl who has no idea about what love is, and Laertes
heightens her anxiety about love.
Hamlet also gives Ophelia notable cause to believe that love is crazy. In
Act II, scene one, Hamlet comes to Ophelia’s sewing closet and treats her
very strangely. Afterwards, she says to her father:

At last, a little shaking of mine arm

And thrice his head thus waving up and down,
He raised a sigh so piteous and profound
As it did seem to shatter all his bulk
And end his being.
II, I (92-96)

Hamlet’s strange behaviour leads Ophelia to believe that his love for her has
driven him to madness. With this revelation, she begins to fear for her own
health and sanity.
It is Ophelia’s father, Polonius, who finally confirms the thought that
love is madness and that it is contagious. When his daughter comes to him
after Act II, scene one, she is looking for solace, for someone to ease all her
fears. However, just the opposite occurs. He says he will protect her and
teach her about love, but then explains Hamlet’s behaviour by saying, “This
is the very ecstasy of love / And leads the will to desperate undertakings” [II,
I (402—104)]. He uses the words “violent” and “desperate” to describe love,

Courtesy of Stephanie Rosloski

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Chapter 25 Argumentation 291
 and Ophelia becomes so afraid that Hamlet will harm her that she accepts
her father’s guidance and betrays the man whom she loves; she cannot love
him normally because she does not understand his affections. When her
father is killed, Ophelia has no man to confide in, no one to show her how to
govern her life, so she accepts love as madness and immerses herself in it.
Ophelia is hard done by in the play Hamlet. If her loved ones had not
painted such horrible images of love, she might not have been led to her
insanity and demise at the end of Act IV, scene seven. Because Ophelia
loves and trusts the three men in her life so intensely, Laertes, Hamlet,
and Polonius actually lead her to the stream that drowns her. They are
responsible for the deterioration of her sanity and ultimately for her death.

Questions for Analysis

. Why do you think Ophelia’s brother tells her “to be afraid of love”?
. If Hamlet is pretending to be afflicted by madness because of love, how is this
likely to affect his girlfriend who does not know much about the emotions she is
experiencing?
. When Ophelia’s father is killed by the very man she loves, how does Ophelia
react, and why?
. There was no #MeToo movement 400 years ago when Shakespeare wrote his
plays. But how might the treatment of women by men in that time (as portrayed in
the essay above) be compared or contrasted with the treatment of women today?
. If Ophelia were a real person today, is it likely her life would have turned out
differently? Why or why not?
6. Is this essay by Rosloski effective? Why or why not?

Paragraph or Essay of Argumentation

Choose a topic (see the suggestions below), and write either an extended paragraph
or an essay of at east five paragraphs. Argue for or against the topic of your choice.
Use the following techniques of argumentation, discussed earlier in this chapter, as a
guide for your writing.

Write a strong thesis statement.

Provide examples for each of your reasons.
Use at least one authority to support your thesis.
Admit that others have a different point of view.
Indicate the results or your predictions in the conclusion.
WNDefine certain terms that are central to your argument.
Co
es
ON

Suggested Topics

ie Capital punishment
2, Censorship of Internet hate literature
Ss Same-sex marriages

292 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 . Gun control
. Prayer in public schools
. Ban on junk food in schools
JS.
ba
fon
SJ Control of pornography

Many, many more topics for paragraphs or essays of argumentation can be

found in Unit Vunder the heading “Writing Ideas” at the end of the questions im-
mediately following each major reading. Some of the questions under the heading
“Questions for Discussion” (also after each major reading) might also be deemed
suitable writing topics for argumentation.

While developing your paragraph or essay, you may want to review Chapter 18,
“The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular the following
sections:

“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and clearly,
you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases, categorized
by their function, found on the inside back cover of this book.

Working Together: Identifying Good and Bad Arguments

Form small groups of four or five. Look at several recent newspapers and choose an
editorial about a subject of interest to everyone in the group. Read it and comment
on the argument in terms of what you now know about good and bad arguments.
Answer the questions below. You may want to assign a different question to each
person in the group.

1. Are there any common fallacies in the writer’s argument? Explain.

2. Does the writer employ the techniques of argumentation listed in this chapter?
Explain.
3. What is the writer’s overall claim?
4. Is the evidence used to support the claim generally good or bad? Discuss.

Chapter 25 Argumentation 293

 Cause and Effect | j
'

People have always looked at the world and asked, “Why did this happen?” and
“What are the likely results of that event?” Ancient societies created beautiful myths
and legends to explain the origin of the universe and our place in it, while modern
civilization has emphasized scientific methods of observation to find the cause of a
disease or to determine why the planet Mars appears to be covered by canals. When
we examine the spiritual or physical mysteries of our world, we are trying to discover
the connections, or links, between events. In this chapter, we will refer to connections
between events as causal relationships.

DEFINITION
Cause and effect is an examination ofeither the causes of an effect (why something happened)
or the effects of acause (what is likely to happen as a result of an event). In either case, the
establishment of causal relationships must be based on the application of logic.

Causal relationships are part of our daily lives and provide a way of understanding
the cause, result, or consequence of an event. The search for a cause or an effect is a bit
like detective work. Probing an event is a way of searching for clues to discover what
caused an event or what result it will have.
For example, we might ask, “Why did the car break down just after it came back
from the garage?” as a way of searching for the cause of the car’s new problem. Or we
might ask, “What will be the side effects of a certain medicine?” to determine what
effect a particular medicine will have on the body. This search for connections can
be complex. Often the logical analysis of a problem reveals more than one possible
explanation. Sometimes the best we can do is find possible causes or probable effects.

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 Two Types of Cause and Effect Paragraphs or Essays
There are two types of cause and effect paragraphs or essays. In the first type, the
cause is identified in the topic sentence (for a paragraph) or thesis statement (for an
essay), and the emphasis is placed on the effects; the supporting detail, therefore,
is made up of several effects. In the second type, the effect is identified in the topic
sentence or thesis statement, but the emphasis is placed on the causes; as a result, the
supporting detail, this time, is made up of several causes.

Do not try to deal with both the causes and the effects of an event in the supporting detail of a
single cause and effect paragraph or essay.

Developing Paragraphs: Cause and Effect

The Topic Sentence of a Cause and Effect Paragraph
The topic sentence of a cause and effect paragraph should reveal whether the
paragraph will focus on causes or effects. For example, the following topic sentence
uses the word factors to indicate that causes are about to follow:

Several factors contributed to my decision to lose weight.

Losing weight is the effect; the causes will be discussed in the remainder of the
paragraph.
On the other hand, this next topic sentence begins with the cause and states that
a number of effects are about to follow:

Losing weight had a number of positive effects on my life.

Supporting Detail of a Cause and Effect Paragraph

Again, the supporting detail in this type of paragraph should contain either causes or
effects, but not both.

Importance of Logic
In a good cause and effect paragraph, a cause must lead to an effect, not just
come before it. That’s why writing a cause and effect paragraph requires analysis
to determine that a logical connection exists between events. For example, the
fact that a person walked under a ladder just before he was hit by a car does
not prove cause and effect. The walking under a ladder merely preceded the car
accident. To suggest that walking under a ladder caused the accident is to use
faulty logic. (See “Common Fallacies” in Chapter 25, “Argumentation.”) It is
the writer’s responsibility to ensure that the relationship between a cause and its
effects is clear.

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Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 295
 Avoid These Common Errors in Logic ---<:+++>>
- 1. Do not confuse coincidence or chronological sequence with evidence.
-2. Look for underlying causes beneath the obvious ones and for far-reaching effects beyond the
- ones that first come to mind. Often what appears to be a single cause or a single effect is a
* much more complex situation.

Here is an example of a possible error in logic:

Every time I try to write an essay in the evening, I have trouble getting to sleep.
Therefore, writing must prevent me from sleeping.

In this case, writing may indeed be a stimulant that makes it difficult to sleep.
However, if the writer is serious about finding the cause of the insomnia, they must
observe whether any other factors may be to blame. For instance, if the person is
drinking several cups of coffee while writing each evening, caffeine is a more likely
cause of the wakefulness.
The following is an example of a good cause and effect paragraph.

Model Paragraph: Recipe for Disaster

Notice how the topic A number of factors caused my car accident on Deerfoot Trail last week. First,
sentence makes clear the weather was horrible that night. It was dark, and the rain made it even
whether the emphasis in
harder to see where I was going. The rain also made the roads very slippery,
the paragraph will be on
causes or effects. which meant that controlling my car was more difficult than usual. There was
another factor that made my car difficult to control that night. I was returning
home with a very heavy concrete birdbath for our backyard. When I slammed
on my brakes and turned the steering wheel to avoid being hit, the weight in
my trunk shifted and caused the back end of my small car to swing around.
Perhaps the most important factor was negligence. The driver of a black
sports car was speeding and driving erratically. Rather than slow down when
I changed into his lane ahead of him, he sped up, swerved, and cut directly in
front of me. I had to slam on my brakes and turn my steering wheel sharply
to avoid hitting him. As a result, my car spun around in a complete circle in
the middle of the highway. I wound up in a ditch on the side of the road, a
little shaken, but realizing things could have ended much worse.

Looking for the Causal Relationship

Study each ofthe following situations. In each case, if the sequence of events is
merely coincidental or chronological, put a T (for time) in the space provided. If the
relationship is most likely causal, write a C. Be prepared to explain your answers in
class. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices”

1. Every time | carry my umbrella, it doesn't rain. |am carrying my

umbrella today; therefore, it won't rain.

2. We put fertilizer on the grass. A week later, the grass grew five
centimetres and turned a deeper green.
296 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 . On Tuesday morning, |walked under a ladder. On Wednesday
morning, |walked into my office and was told | had lost myjob.

. The child was born with a serious kidney condition. Seven days
later, the child died.

. Tar and nicotine from cigarettes damage the lungs. People

who smoke cigarettes increase their chances of dying from
lung cancer.

. A political scandal was exposed in the city on Friday. On Saturday

night, only twenty-four hours later, a power blackout occurred
in the city.

. Very few tourists came to the island last year. The economy ofthe
island declined last year.

Separating the Cause from the Effect

In the following practice exercise, there is an action or an event above a group of

related sentences. Put a C next to sentences that describe causes and an E next to
sentences that describe effects. Check your answers against those in Appendix B,
“Answer Key to Practices.’

1. |quit smoking.

a. Smoking costs a lot of money.

b. Fewer public places allow smoking now.

c. My terrible cough is gone.

d. | have gained five kilograms.

e. It bothered my friends and family.

f. |have found that my food tastes better.

2. | recently bought a new car.

a. |got a great deal on financing.

b. My old car was unreliable.

c. | have less money every month because | have to pay more for
insurance and gas.

d. My popularity at school has increased.

e. | was tired of having to take the train whenever | wanted to visit

my family.

f. |was embarrassed to drive my rusted old car.

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Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 297
 Separating the Cause from the Effect

In each sentence, separate the cause, problem, or reason from the effect, solution, or
result. Remember, the cause is not necessarily given first.

1. More than half of mothers with children under one year of age work outside the
home, which has resulted in an unprecedented need for day care in this country.

Cause:

Effect:

2. By 2000, two-thirds ofall preschool children and four-fifths of school-age children

had working mothers, facts that led to increased strain on our system of day care.

Cause:

Effect:

3. In one national survey, over half the working mothers reported that they had either
changed jobs or cut back on their hours to be more available to their children.

Cause:

Effect:

4, Many mothers who work do so only when their children are in school, while
other mothers work only occasionally during the school year because they feel
their children need the supervision ofa parent.

Cause:

Effect:

5. Many mothers and fathers experience deep emotional crises as a result of their
struggle to meet both the financial obligations of their home and their own
emotional needs as parents.

Cause:

Effect:

298 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Writing the Cause or Effect Paragraph Step by Step
To learn a skill that has so many different aspects, it is best to follow a step-by-step
approach so that you can work on one aspect at a time. This approach will ensure that
you are not missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole. There
are other ways to go about writing an effective paragraph, but here is one logical
method you can use to achieve results.

Steps for Writing the Cause or Effect Paragraph ---.--.----.

1. After you have chosen your topic, plan your topic sentence.
* 2. Brainstorm byjotting down all possible causes or effects. Ask others for their thoughts.
; _ Research if necessary. Consider long-range effects or underlying causes.
. 3. Cross out any points that are illogical, merely coincidental, or the result of only time sequence. -
Then choose the three or four best points from what remains on your list.
* 4. Decide on the best order for these points. (From least important to most important is one way *
to organize them.)
. 5. Write at least one complete sentence for each of the causes or effects you have chosen from
your list.
6. Write a concluding statement.

Writing the Effect Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the box
above to work through the writing process for a cause or an effect paragraph. (These
steps are similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in Chapter 32; refer to it for a
step-by-step example and a completed sample paragraph.)

Topic: What are the effects when students have part-time jobs after classes?

On Your Own: Writing Cause and Effect Paragraphs

from Model Paragraphs
The Causes of Disaster
The following model paragraph looks at the causes for the loss of life in the sinking of
a supposedly unsinkable ship on its maiden voyage more than a century ago.

Model Paragraph: Titanic Blunders

One of the most tragic events of the twentieth century was the sinking of the
British ship Titanic in the Atlantic Ocean on April 15, 1912, with the loss of
over 1500 lives. The immediate cause of this terrible loss of life was a large
iceberg that tore a ninety-metre gash in the side of the ship, flooding five
of its watertight compartments. Some believe that the tragedy took place
because the crew members did not see the iceberg in time, but others see a

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Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 299
 chain of events that contributed to the tragedy. First was the fact that the
ship was not carrying enough lifeboats for all of its passengers: it had enough
boats for only about half the people on board. Furthermore, the ship’s crew
showed a clear lack of concern for the third-class, or “steerage,” passengers,
who were left in their cramped quarters below decks with little or no help as
the ship went down. It has often been said that this social attitude of helping
the wealthy and neglecting the poor was one of the real causes of the loss of
life that night. Indeed, some of the lifeboats that were used were not filled to
capacity when the rescue ships eventually found them. Finally, the tragedy
of the Titanic was magnified by the fact that some ships nearby did not have
a radio crew on duty and therefore missed the distress signals sent by the
Titanic. Out of all this, the need to reform safety regulations on passenger
ships became obvious.

Assignment 1 Cause and Effect Paragraph (Effects)

Select a community or regional disaster that you have personally experienced or

heard about. This could include a severe climatic condition or a manufactured disaster.
Instead of writing a paragraph about the disaster’s causes as in the above paragraph,
point out the effects it had on you or the people involved.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given for Assignment 2.)

. The effects of an earthquake

The effects of apower blackout on a major city or town
. The effects ofaflood or other extensive water damage on a home or community
The effects of achemical spill on land or offshore
The effects of a transit strike on a community
NDThe effects of ¢ a major fire on a downtown block
=KWN

Developing the Cause and Effect Essay

Like the cause and effect paragraph, the essay of the same type should focus on either
causes or effects, but not both. And it should be self-evident from the thesis statement
of the essay which one will be discussed.
As in other kinds of essays, the thesis appears somewhere between the middle
and the end of the first paragraph. Each support paragraph deals with one cause or
one effect.
Bear in mind that all the causes or all the effects included in the essay should
directly support your thesis, whatever it is. If not, you must make some adjustments:
either change your thesis or change your support paragraphs. Which option you
take is up to you. In some cases, only one support paragraph needs to be reworked.
If you’re writing the essay in class and have a time limit, you may decide to make
whatever changes require the least amount of time.

300 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all
the writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.” For a review of
the writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay,
see Chapter 18, “The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay”

A model essay that demonstrates the strategy of cause and effect follows.
“Whose Choice Is It, Anyway?” by Donald Pianissimo is very informal and personal
(notice the use of the word J). In spite of its informal nature, it very much follows
the structure of the essay as it is laid out in Chapter 20, “The Essay,” in terms of
the required five paragraphs, the topic sentences that directly support the thesis
statement, its transitions, and so on.

Model Essay: Whose Choice Is It, Anyway?

by Donald Pianissimo

It is so easy to think that the decisions you make are your own choices. But
when you consider the events leading up to those decisions, it may not be so
easy to claim the decisions as your own. My decision to go into journalism
was, I thought, something I had chosen completely on my own without
external influence. But when I think of three particular events in my life
before leaving high school, I begin to think my say in the matter was minimal
at best. I begin to think I was simply following a path that had already been
laid out for me.
Both of my parents had career plans for me. My mom used to be a nurse,
and she confided in me long after ’'d dropped chemistry in high school that
she always wanted me to be a doctor. My dad, although a writer, never called
himself a journalist; journalism was not the kind of writing he preferred
to do. But perhaps I underestimated his influence on my choice to enter a
writing career. In fact, it was he who encouraged me to publish an article in
a local magazine when I was only nine years old. I still remember his editing
my work. I also remember the thrill of my anticipation of seeing my name in
print. It was the first taste of being published I would get, and it wouldn’t be
the last.
My memory of an inspiring teacher has always been another strong
influence. In Grade 8, the first English teacher who would truly inspire me
with his passion for teaching announced to the class one day that there were
three essays he had marked that were worthy of recognition. He asked three
students to read their essays out loud in front of the entire class. I was one of
them. He made me feel I had a gift, a gift worth sharing.
Finally, by the time I'd gotten to high school, a classmate and I were
asked by a teacher to co-edit the school newspaper. I never thought I would
have so much fun. Better still, the paper was a hit with the other students.

Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 301

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 Our high school hadn’t seen so successful a student newspaper in years.
I couldn’t help but love the popularity that came with it, too.
I envied those students who knew they wanted to be doctors, or lawyers,
or engineers since the time they could talk. I just figured I wasn’t so blessed
with such an ardent and focused career desire. By the time I'd graduated from
high school, I chose to enter a field of study for my postsecondary education
based on one of my most enjoyable pastimes: writing for an audience.
Journalism seemed the logical choice. What didn’t occur to me until much
later was that my choice seemed the logical conclusion of a number of
monumental events in my young life. Were they random events, or were they
meant to lead me in a certain direction? Your guess is as good as mine.

Questions for Analysis

1. Of the two types of cause and effect essays discussed in this chapter, which type
of essay is this?
2. Does the writer support the idea of free will or the idea of fate?
Go . What evidence in this essay suggests his support for one or the other?
4. How much does the author attribute his choices to the influence of parents and
teachers?
5. What, in your own words, is the author’s thesis? Which sentence states the actual
thesis? Based on just this thesis, what would a reader think the support is going
to be about? Why?
6. Is the thesis adequately supported? Explain.

Exploring the Topic

1. How did you decide to enter your current field of study? Was it free will or fate?
Discuss.
2. Does reading this essay make you think twice about whether you made the choice
to enter your field of study independently of outside influence? Explain.

Cause and Effect Essay

Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given in Assignment 1),
or come up with one of your own. Write a cause and effect essay of at least five
paragraphs to develop this topic.

Suggested Topics

. The causes of war

he causes offailing a course
he causes of breaking up with a boyfriend/girlfriend
he causes of addiction (alcohol, drugs, sex, relationship, etc.)
he causes of lying
eS
way
low
IN
8= he effects of lying
HAAaaAaSsd

302 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 7. The effects of parents who don't show their children affection
8. The effects of poverty in the home
9. The effects of fame
10. The effects of alcohol abuse

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18, “The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular
the following sections:

“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)’
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading"
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and

clearly, you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases,
categorized by their function, found on the inside back cover ofthis book.
In particular, you may find the first section, “Transitions for Cause and Effect,’
useful for work in this chapter.

Working Together: Identifying Causes or Effects

Russell/Getty
Steve
Images

More than a million fans came out to celebrate with the Raptors during the NBA
Championship parade in Toronto in June 2019.

aek Chapter 26 Cause and Effect 303

 Frank
Gunn/CANADIAN
PRESS

Kawhi Leonard, who played for the Raptors in their victorious season
of 2018-19, is seen here raising the NBA Larry O’Brien Championship
Trophy during the parade.

Form groups of three or four. Look at the photos of the parade for the Raptors in
June 2019 when the Canadian team won the NBA Championship. This was the first
time a team outside of the United States had won the highly coveted title. Working
collaboratively with your group, write a paragraph or an essay on what you think are
the causes behind the Raptors’ historic win or on the possible effects of the Raptors’
win on the future of Canadian basketball or other sports.

304 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 -Comparison
and/or Contrast

Comparison and contrast are two related methods of explaining topics.

DEFINITION
Comparison emphasizes the similarities between two topics. Contrast emphasizes the
differences. An essay or a paragraph may deal with either similarities or differences, or with both.

We sometimes use the word comparison to refer to both similarities and

differences between people or things, but it is more precise to use comparison for
similarities and contrast for differences. For example, if you were to write about twin
sisters, describing how close they are in appearance and personality, the similarities you
noted would make up a comparison. On the other hand, if you wanted to emphasize
some important differences between the sisters, the result would be a contrast.
We use comparison and contrast in a variety of ways every day: we talk about
what a couple have in common; we put similar products side by side in the store
before we decide to buy one of them; we listen to two politicians on television and
think about the differences between their positions before we vote for one of them;
and we read college and university catalogues and talk to our friends before we decide
which school to attend.

Working with Comparison and/or Contrast:

Choosing the Two-Part Topic
The most common problem students face when it comes to writing a good
comparison and/or contrast paragraph is finding an appropriate two-part topic.

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305
 While you must be careful to choose subjects that have enough in common to make
them comparable, you must avoid choosing two things that have so much in common
that you cannot handle all the comparable points in one paragraph or even in ten
paragraphs. For example, a student trying to compare the French word chaise with
the English word chair might be able to come up with only two sentences of material.
With only a dictionary to consult, the student is unlikely to find enough material for
several points of comparison. On the other hand, contrasting Canada with Europe
would present such an endless supply of points to compare that the student would
have room, in a typical essay, to give only general facts that most readers probably
already know. When the subject is too broad, the writing is often too general. A better
two-part topic might be to compare travelling by train in Europe with travelling by
train in Canada.
A good comparison and/or contrast paragraph should devote an equal (or nearly
equal) amount of space to each of the topic’s two parts. If a writer is interested in only
one of the topics, the paragraph may end up being very one-sided.

Formulating an Evaluative Topic Sentence

When writing a topic sentence for a comparison and/or contrast paragraph, keep in
mind two things:

1. It should clearly identify the two items you’ve chosen to compare and/or contrast
(the topic).
2. It should be evaluative—that is, it should tell the reader essentially what your
feeling is with respect to the two things being compared and/or contrasted (the
controlling idea). For example, it should indicate which one is better than the
other (ideally using more specific language than the word better).

Here is an example of an evaluative topic sentence (the model paragraph that

begins with this sentence can be found below). The evaluative portion, in particular,
is highlighted:

Now, of course, I knew that it was going to be as difficult making an income as a

freelance editor as it was as an editor on staff at the magazine, benefits
but the of
Inge see d tc itwe

We can assume several things about the rest of the paragraph based on this topic
sentence:

1. It will have contrast. There might be some comparison, but the paragraph will
certainly not entirely be a comparison.
2. The two things being compared and/or contrasted are being a freelance editor
and working as an editor on staff at the magazine.
3. After the comparing and contrasting are finished, the reader will get the distinct
impression that the writer prefers freelancing.

306 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Now, for the balance of content within the paragraph, here’s an example of a one-
sided contrast within a sentence:

While Canadian trains go to only a few towns, are infrequent, and are often
shabby and uncomfortable, European trains are much nicer.

The following example is a more balanced contrast that gives equal attention to
both topics:

While Canadian trains go to only a few large cities, run very infrequently, and
are often shabby and uncomfortable, European trains go to virtually every small
town, are always dependable, and are clean and attractive.

Evaluating the Two-Part Topic

Study the following topics and decide which are too broad for a paragraph and
which are suitable as topics for a paragraph of comparison and/or contrast. Mark
your choice in the appropriate space to the right of each topic. The first two have
been done for you. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key
to Practices.’

Topic Too Broad Suitable

1. Australia and England rani inie ee 2
2. Indian elephants and African elephants ee pe
3. Canadian wine and French wine
4. Wooden furniture and plastic furniture
5. Wood and plastic 58 ees
6. Photography and oil painting re ns

Two Methods: Point-by-Point and Block

The first method for ordering material in a paragraph or an essay of comparison and/
or contrast is known as the point-by-point method.

DEFINITION
The point-by-point method is one way to order the material in a comparison and/or contrast
paragraph or essay. In this method, you compare and/or contrast two items as they relate to one
point before going onto the next point.

What follows is a paragraph in which the writer uses the point-by-point method
to compare the difficulties of being a freelance editor with those of working as an
editor on staff at a magazine.

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Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast 307
 Model Paragraph: The Freedom of Freelancing (I)
Now, of course, I knew that it was going to be as difficult making an
income as a freelance editor as it was as an editor on staff at the magazine,
if not more so, but the benefits of freelancing seemed to far outweigh the
disadvantages. I would be at home hustling editing contracts via telephone
while everyone else spent their mornings at the office gabbing over endless
cups of coffee. Isometimes resented having to work so hard to make a living
while my old colleagues on staff sat in meetings, went to conferences, and
attended company luncheons. But I never envied them on their way to work
on cold, dark winter mornings. And I wondered how many of them would
have gladly switched places with me as I worked outside on my patio in the
summer while they looked longingly out their office windows.

Notice how, after the opening topic sentence, the writer uses half of each
sentence to describe a freelance editor’s experience and the other half of the same
sentence to describe the experience of an editor who works for a magazine. This
technique is effective in such a paragraph, and it is most often used in longer pieces of
writing that include many points of comparison. This method helps the reader keep
the comparison and/or contrast carefully in mind at each point.
Looking at this paragraph in outline form will help you see the shape of its
development.

Point-by-Point Method
Topic sentence: Now, of course, I knew that it was going to be as difficult
making an income as a freelance editor as it was as an editor on staff at the
magazine, if not more so, but the benefits of freelancing seemed to far outweigh
the disadvantages.

Point one
First topic: I would be at home hustling editing contracts via telephone...
Second topic: . .. while everyone else spent their mornings at the office gabbing
over endless cups of coffee.

Point two
First topic: I sometimes resented having to work so hard to earn a living...
Second topic: . .. while my old colleagues on staff sat in meetings, went to
conferences, and attended company luncheons.

Point three
First topic: But I never envied them on their way to work on cold, dark winter
mornings.
Second topic: And I wondered how many of them would have gladly switched
places with me as I worked outside on my patio while they looked longingly out
their office windows.

308 Unit4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 The block method is another way to order material in a paragraph or essay of comparison and/
or contrast. When you use this approach, you present all the facts and supporting details about
one topic, and then do the same for the second topic.

What follows is another version of the same model paragraph, written using the
block method.

Model Paragraph: The Freedom of Freelancing (Il) |

Now, of course, I knew that it was going to be as difficult making an
income as a freelance editor as it was as an editor on staff at the magazine,
if not more so, but the benefits of freelancing seemed to far outweigh the
disadvantages. I spent my mornings hustling editing contracts on the
telephone, and I sometimes resented having to work so hard to earn a living.
On the other hand, I didn’t envy my old colleagues on their way to work on
cold, dark winter mornings. They could spend as much time as they wanted
to gabbing over endless cups of coffee and going to meetings, conferences,
and company luncheons; but I wonder how many of them would have gladly
switched places with me as I worked outside on my patio in the summer.

In this version, the first half of the paragraph presents almost all of the details
about being a freelance editor, while the second half presents all of the information
about being an editor on staff. This method is often used in shorter pieces of writing,
where it is possible for the reader to keep in mind a block of information on one topic
while reading about the other.
Here is this version of the paragraph in outline form.

Block Method
Topic sentence: Now, of course, I knew that it was going to be as difficult
making an income as a freelance editor as it was as an editor on staff at the
magazine, if not more so, but the benefits of freelancing seemed to far outweigh
the disadvantages.
First topic (points one, two, and three): I spent my mornings hustling
editing contracts on the telephone, and I sometimes resented having to work so
hard to earn a living. On the other hand, I didn’t envy my old colleagues on their
way to work on cold, dark winter mornings.
Second topic (points one, two, and three): They could spend as much
time as they wanted to gabbing over endless cups of coffee and going to
meetings, conferences, and company luncheons; but I wonder how many of them
would have gladly switched places with me as I worked outside on my patio in
the summer.

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Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast 309
 You will want to choose one of these methods before you write a comparison
and/or contrast assignment. The block method is most often used for writing shorter
pieces, such as paragraphs; however, you will have the opportunity to practise both
the block method and the point-by-point method.

Recognizing the Two Methods

Each ofthe following passages is an example of comparison and/or contrast. Read

each paragraph carefully and decide whether the writer has used the point-by-point
method or the block method. Indicate your choice in the spaces provided after each
example. Also indicate whether the piece emphasizes similarities or differences. Check
your answers against those in the Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.’

1. Female infants speak sooner, have larger vocabularies, and rarely demonstrate
speech defects. (Stuttering, for instance, occurs almost exclusively in boys.) Girls
exceed boys in language abilities, and this early linguistic bias often prevails
throughout life. Girls read sooner, learn foreign languages more easily, and, as
a result, are more likely to enter occupations involving language mastery. Boys,
in contrast, show an early visual superiority. They are also clumsier, performing
poorly at tasks such as arranging a row of beads, but excel at activities calling for
total body coordination. Their attentional mechanisms are also different. A boy
will react to an inanimate object as quickly as he will to a person. A male baby
will often ignore the mother and babble at a blinking light, fixate on a geometric
figure, and, at a later point, manipulate it and attempt to take it apart.

POIMEDY=DOINE SateSS Block

Similarities =
oes aia Differences

2. It is hard to decide who are the better inventors, Canadians or Martians. Canadians
have invented wonderful devices that have made a significant contribution to their
civilization, but then so have the Martians. Canadians invented the chainsaw, the
paint roller, the power mower, and the zipper. But Martians are no slouches, having
come up with the intergalactic spaceship, the long-range power blaster, and the
moon-dust mobile home. Of course, not all Canadian inventions have been stellar
successes; consider, for example, the cast-iron airship, the reverse cooking stove,
and the patent medicine carrot cure-all. But neither have Martians hit a winner
every time: who can forget the ill-fated interplanetary bicycle, the invisible mirror,
or the boomerang rocket? In the ingenuity department, you'd have to say it’s a tie.

POTD ySDOIQt === == aeDIOGK

Similarities oe Sere iierences

Using the Point-by-Point and Block Methods

Choose one ofthe paragraphs from Practice 2 and rewrite it using the opposite
method for comparison and/or contrast. For instance, if aparagraph uses the point-
by-point method, rewrite it using the block method.

310 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Tips on Transitions: Like versus As
Be careful to use transition words correctly when comparing and/or contrasting. In
particular, watch out for like and as, which have different functions. Therefore, they
cannot be used in place of each other.

TIP
Like is a preposition and is used within a prepositional phrase with a noun.

My sister is just like me.

TIP
As is a subordinate conjunction and is used in a clause with a subject and a verb.

My sister sews every evening, as does her oldest daughter.

For additional common transitions, see the chart on the inside back cover ofthis book.

Writing the Comparison and/or Contrast

Paragraph Step by Step
To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-step approach
so that various skills can be worked on one at a time. This approach will ensure that
you are not missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole. There
are other ways to go about writing an effective paragraph, but here is one logical
method you can use to achieve results.

Steps for Writing the Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph -°+:*°+:e++esee+s :

* 1. Study the given topic, and then plan your topic sentence, especially the dominant
» impression.
- 2. List all your ideas for points that could be compared and/or contrasted.
* 3. Choose the three or four most important points from your list, and put them in order.
* 4. Decide whether you want to use the point-by-point method or the block method of
* organizing your paragraph.
. 5. Write at least one complete sentence for each of the points you have chosen from your list.
- 6. Write a concluding statement that summarizes the main points, makes a judgment, or
emphasizes what you believe is the most important point.
Ai Finally, copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.
eoeo eee eee ee@ @

Writing the Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the
box above to work through the writing process for a comparison and/or contrast
paragraph. (These steps are similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in
Chapter 32; refer to it for a step-by-step example and a completed sample paragraph.)

Topic: Compare and/or contrast going to work with going to college immediately
after high school.

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Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast sim
 Assignment 1 Comparison and/or Contrast Paragraph

Write a paragraph in which you compare and/or contrast two places you know, either
from personal experience or from your reading.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given for the Assignment 2.)

. Two neighbourhoods
. Two towns orcities
. Two vacation spots
. Two provinces
. Two countries
. Two streets
fo
cS
CA
ov
SY
=. Two colleges or universities
[Sy

The Comparison and/or Contrast Essay

In a comparison and/or contrast essay, the thesis statement, like the topic sentence
in a paragraph, identifies what is being compared and/or contrasted (the topic)
and what the author’s overall feeling toward the comparison and/or contrast is (the
controlling idea). For example, here is a possible thesis statement for an essay on the
contrast between two cars:

The Honda Civic beats the Toyota Corolla in many respects.

If youre using the block method, the second paragraph of the essay might be
used for everything you want to say about the Honda, and the third paragraph for
everything you want to say about the Toyota (contrasting it with what you’ve said
in the previous paragraph about the Honda). The fourth paragraph could then be
a conclusion that contains a restatement of your thesis but in different words (for
more on concluding paragraphs, see Chapter 20, “The Essay”). A four-paragraph
essay would therefore be appropriate if you are using the block method for your
comparison and/or contrast essay.
If, on the other hand, youre using the point-by-point method, the second
paragraph of the essay would compare and/or contrast both the Honda and the
Toyota based on the first point you have chosen. The third paragraph of the essay
would deal with both cars in terms of your second point, and so on. Ideally, you will
discuss your findings on the basis of three points, which would produce a standard
five-paragraph essay: an introduction, three support paragraphs (one for each of your
three points), and a conclusion.

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all the
writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.’ For a review ofthe
writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay, see
Chapter 18,“The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or Essay.”

312 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 The sample essay below explores the differences between living in a small town
and living in a big city. Although the opinion of its author, Zack Goodman, is pretty
clear from the outset, someone else could just as easily argue for the opposite point of
view. What’s important in an essay is that the thesis is clear and that there is evidence
supporting it. Determine if Goodman achieves these goals.

Model Essay: City Life Beats the Small Town Blues

by Zack Goodman

Growing up in a small town has its perks. You might have fewer friends than
you have in the big city, but you tend to keep them closer. The East Coast
small town author Hugh MacLennan once said that writers who grow up
in small towns have a greater knowledge of human intimacy even if their
writing ideas stemming from this knowledge dry up before they turn 40.
Well, not everybody agrees with either of those points. In fact, city life can
offer just as much knowledge of human intimacy if not more than small town
life can. Life is better in the big city, and it all comes down to one general
reason: more choice.
One of the areas in which having choice can be extremely valuable is
that of friends. Like leaving home to seek greater knowledge of yourself,
picking your own friends from a greater number of people can aid in your
journey to seek self-knowledge. After all, if you go out with the same group
of small town friends all the time, not because you necessarily like them all
that much, but because they’re the only ones available, this can prove quite
limiting when it comes to your growth as an individual. The big city, on the
other hand, offers an endless number of opportunities to meet people of like
interests. You’re much more likely to cultivate relationships with people who
help you to grow.
Secondly, if you’re the type of person who enjoys learning about other
cultures and meeting people of many different ethnicities, you’re much
more likely to do both of these things in a big city. People from all over the
world prefer the big city to which to emigrate because they might already
have relatives there, or at least some sort of community similar to the one
they’ve left in their country of origin. They might not have to learn English
right away to get along because there are enough people with whom they
can speak in their native tongue, and in general, the big city can afford more
resources to make them more comfortable. In a small town, you might have
to get used to a group of people of one origin, maybe even a community in
which there is only one religion. If this is what you want, there’s no problem.
But if you consider yourself a citizen of the world, a one-cthnicity town might
be pretty boring after a while.
Finally, if you’re a person who enjoys the arts, the small town probably
won't be able to hold a candle to the arts community of a big city. A small

— Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast sia

 town might have one cinema that shows maybe three different movies at
any one time. A big city can have more than 100 theatres showing at least
a hundred different movies, and not all mainstream film, but independent
film, B-movies, foreign film (do Canadian movies qualify as foreign films in
Canada?) and second-run movies for those who missed them the first time
around. But movies are only one form of entertainment in the big city on
any given night. There’s the Broadway-style musical, the independent stage
theatre, ballet, modern dance, cabaret, poetry reading, cafés and nightclubs
with live music including jazz, house, Latin, retro, hip-hop (ask for it; the
big city’s got it), street festivals in the summer, outdoor skating and indoor
tennis in the winter, and so on and so on. A small town may have some of
this some of the time, but a big city is more likely to have most of it most of
the time.
A small town has its advantages; that’s true. The cost of living is lower.
The streets are probably safer at night. And it might even be easier to meet
someone special. But if you’re an arts lover who enjoys the company of
people from all over the world, and yow’re interested in cultivating friends
who help you to grow spiritually and not just to get drunk on a Saturday
night, city life is tough to beat.

Questions for Analysis

1. An essay of comparison points out the similarities between two subjects, while
an essay of contrast examines the differences. With this in mind, is the essay
you have just read an essay of comparison, of contrast, or of both? What is your
evidence for your answer?
2. Does the writer use the point-by-point method or the block method in writing
this essay?
3. Does the writer provide an equal number of details that relate to the small town
and the big city?
4. Specifically, how does the writer demonstrate what he thinks is the superior
nature of the big city?

Comparison and/or Contrast Essay

Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given for Assignment 1)
and write a comparison and/or contrast essay of at least five paragraphs to develop
that topic.

Suggested Topics

Compare and/or contrast:

1. High school classes with college classes

2. Life in a city with life in a rural area

314 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 . Two movies (the acting, the cinematography, the quality of the story)
. A friend from your childhood with a present friend
. Two similar items you have owned (e.g,., cars, bicycles, phones)
. Seeing a play with seeing a movie
Two vacation spots
Two apartments or houses where you have lived
Researching in a library with researching on the Internet
SNOn
Go
40%
Oras
© . Cooking dinner at home with eating out
aihoy

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18, “The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular the following sections:

“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and clearly,
you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases, categorized
by their function, found on the inside back cover of this book.

Working Together: Reaching Consensus

In a group of three to five students, decide among yourselves which two movies,
fashion items, concerts, or advertisements you'd like to compare and/or contrast.
Make sure that everyone in your group has seen both items. Then try to reach
a consensus about your overall conclusion before you begin to compare and/or
contrast the items on the basis of at least three points. Discuss your results with the
rest of the class. Was it easy to reach consensus on everything? What did you learn by
the process? Did most groups end up comparing, contrasting, or both?

NEL
Chapter 27 Comparison and/or Contrast 315
 Process

DEFINITION
Process is the explanation of how to do something or the demonstration of how something
works. There are two kinds of process writing: directional and informational.

A directional process shows you, step by step, how to do something. For example,
if you wanted to show someone how to brew a perfect cup of coffee, you would take
the person through each step of the process, from selecting and grinding the coffee
beans to pouring the finished product. Instructions on a test, directions for getting
to a wedding reception, recipes for spaghetti sauce—these are a few examples of
the kinds of process writing you see and use regularly. You can find examples of
directional process writing everywhere you look: in newspapers, magazines, and
books, as well as on the containers and packages of products you use every day.
An informational process tells you how something is (or was) done to inform
you about it. For example, in a history course, it might be important to understand
how Upper and Lower Canada were joined by the process of Confederation. Of
course, you would not use this process yourself; its purpose would be to give you
information.

The following paragraph, from Mary Finlay’s Communication at Work, is an example

of directional process writing that describes some preliminary steps to follow when
preparing an oral presentation.

316 NEL
 Model Paragraph: Planning Your Presentation
Ascertain how long your presentation is expected to take. Normally, a speech
is delivered at about 150 words a minute. Make sure that your material is
adequate for the time allotted. Of course, this does not mean that a ten-
minute oral report will be as dense as a 1500-word essay. Rehashing points
you have already made in order to fill up your time is a sure-fire way to
annoy and frustrate your listeners. Leave time for questions and feedback. If
there is none, don’t fill in the time by answering the questions nobody asked.
This suggests that you are having second thoughts about the organization
and planning of your report. |

The following paragraph provides an example of informational process writing,

giving an overview of the process leading up to Canadian Confederation:

Model Paragraph: Years in the Making

Confederation, the political union of British North America, didn’t happen
overnight. Starting as a topic of discussion among politicians before the
1860s, it began to take shape after 1864 with a conference in Charlottetown
to discuss the possibility of a union, followed by a second conference at
Quebec the same year. The details were hammered out at yet another
conference in London, England, in 1866, leading to the passage of the British
North America Act in March of 1867 and resulting in the formation of the
Dominion of Canada on July 1, 1867.

Working with Process: Don’t Overlook Any Step

The writer of the process essay is usually more of an authority on the subject
than the person reading the essay. When giving directions or information on
how something is (or was) done, it is possible to leave out a step that you think
is so obvious that it is not worth mentioning. The reader, on the other hand,
may not necessarily fill in the missing step as you did. An important part of
process writing, therefore, is understanding your reader’s level of ability. We
have all been given directions that, at first, seemed clear, only to find that, when
we actually tried to carry out the process, something went wrong. A step in
the process was misunderstood or missing. The giver of the information either
assumed we knew more than we did about certain parts of the process or didn’t
think through the process completely. To avoid causing this kind of difficulty for
your reader, make sure the directions in your process writing are complete and
accurate. Here is one further consideration: if special equipment is required to
perform the process, be sure that the directions include a clear description of
the necessary tools.

NEL
Chapter 28 Process Sie
 Is the Process Complete?

In the following process, try to determine what important step or steps have been
omitted. Imagine yourself going through the process using only the information
provided.

How to Prepare for an Essay Exam

1. Read the relevant chapters as they are assigned, well in advance ofthe test.
2. Take notes in class.
3. If the teacher has not described the test, ask what format the test will take.
4, Get a good night's sleep the night before.
5. Bring any pens or pencils that you might need.
6. Arrive at the classroom a few minutes early to get yourself settled and to keep
yourself calm.
Missing step or steps:

Coherence in Process: Order in Logical Sequence

When you are writing about a process, it is important to make sure not only that the
steps in the process are complete, but also that they are given in the right sequence.
For example, if you are describing the process of cleaning a mixer, it is important
to point out that you must first unplug the appliance before you remove the blades.
The importance of this step is clear when you realize that neglecting it could cost
someone a finger. Improperly written instructions could cause serious injuries or
even death.

Coherence: Order in Logical Sequence

The following steps describe the process ofsetting up an effective flling system.
Number the steps in their proper sequence in the blanks to the left. Check your
answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices.”

When your mind begins to blur, stop filing for that day.

Now label a file folder and slip the piece of paper in.

Gather together all materials to be filed so that they are in

one location.

Alphabetize your file folders and put them away in your

file drawer, and you are finished for that session.

Add to these materials a recycling container, folders, labels,

anda pen.

318 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Pick up the next piece of paper and go through the same
procedure, but ask yourself whether this new piece of
paper might fit into an existing file rather than one with a
new heading.

Pick up an item from the top of the pile and decide

whether this item has value for you. If itdoes not, recycle
it. IFit does, go on to the next step.
Finally, to maintain your file once it is established, rifle
through each file folder you consult, picking out and
recycling the deadwood.

If the piece of paper is worth saving, ask yourself, “What is

this paper about?”

Use transitional words and phrases to make a paragraph flow smoothly and
coherently—see the section “Using Transitions to Move from One Idea to the Next"
in Chapter 20 and the discussions of using spatial order and time sequence to
order paragraphs in Chapters 29 and 32, respectively.

Using Transitions to Go from a List to a Paragraph

Refer back to the process “How to Prepare for an Essay Exam’ outlined in Exercise 1 in this
chapter. Use the words listed under the heading “For Process”in the chart of common
transitional words and phrases on the inside back cover of this text to change the list of
steps from Exercise 1 into a process paragraph that is coherent and flowing.

Writing the Process Paragraph Step by Step

To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-step approach
so that you can work on the steps one at a time. This will ensure that you are not
missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole. There are other ways
to go about writing an effective paragraph, but here is one logical method you can use
to achieve results, which in itself is a process.

Steps for Writing the Process Paragraph

1. Write a topic sentence.
. List as many steps or stages in the process as you can.
OO
N . Eliminate any irrelevant points; add references to any equipment needed or special
circumstances of the process.
. Put your final list in order.
_ Write at least one complete sentence for each of the steps you have chosen from your list.
_ Write a concluding statement that says something about the results of completing the process.
_ Finally,
ws
=O copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.

NEL
Chapter 28 Process 319
 Writing the Process Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the box
above to work through the writing process for a process paragraph. (These steps are
similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in Chapter 32; refer to “Step-by-Step
Example of Writing a Narrative Paragraph’)

Topic: How to burglar-proof your home

The incidence of break-and-enter crimes increases yearly, and many people are
concerned about their homes when they are away on vacation. Give advice to a
homeowner on how to protect a house against burglary.

On Your Own: Writing Process Paragraphs

from Model Paragraphs
Directional Process: How to Care for Your Health
Concern for health and physical fitness is enjoying great popularity, bringing in
big profits to health-related magazines, health clubs, health food producers, and
sports equipment manufacturers. The following paragraph tells us how to get a good
night’s sleep.

Model Paragraph: Road to Restfulness

The process of getting a good night’s sleep depends on several factors.
First, the conditions in your bedroom must be correct. Be sure the room
temperature is around 18°C and the room is as quiet as possible. Next, pay
attention to your bed and how it is furnished. For example, a firm mattress is
best, and wool blankets are better than blankets made of synthetic material.
Similarly, a firm pillow is best; after all, one that is too soft can cause a stiff
neck and lead to a night of poor sleep. Also, keep in mind that what and how
you eat are part of the process of preparing for bed. For example, do not go to
bed hungry, but do not overeat, either. And avoid candy bars or cookies; the
sugar they contain acts as a stimulant. Finally, do not go to bed until you are
sleepy. Do something relaxing until you are tired. In conclusion, everything
you do can have an effect on how well you sleep.

Process Paragraph

Write a paragraph in which you give the major steps in some area of caring for your
physical or mental health.

Suggested Topics

1. How to plan a daily exercise program

2. How to choose a sport that is suitable for you

320 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 How to live to be 100
How to choose a doctor
How to make exercise and healthy eating fun
How to stop smoking
SSHow
Le
Sang to deal with depression

Informational Process: How to Accomplish a Task

Note that the topics presented above are all examples of directional process writing.
Read the following model paragraph for an example of informational process writing,
describing how an insect builds a nest.

Model Paragraph: Waspy Ways

The insect known as the hunter wasp goes through a regular procedure when
it builds a nest. First, it digs a small tunnel into the earth. Then it goes in
search of a cicada, a large insect that resembles a cricket. After stinging and
paralyzing the cicada, the hunter wasp brings it to the tunnel, lays an egg on
the helpless insect, and seals the tunnel. The hunter wasp then leaves. When
the egg hatches, the larva uses the cicada as a source of food.

Process Paragraph
Assignment 2
Write a paragraph in which you snow how a task is accomplished. The task may
be something that is frequently done by hurnans or that occurs in the world of
nature.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given for the Assignment 1.)

How cheese is made

How to build a deck
How people obtain a divorce
ow to get a driver's licence
How yeast causes bread to rise
How a bill becomes a law
Ish
ee)
Sale
ESONHow planets are formed

Writing the Process Essay

Any process paragraph can easily be turned into a process essay by simply increasing
the amount of detail in all the steps. Follow the essay format and structure as
described in Chapter 20, “The Essay,” and devote each support paragraph to a single
step in the process.

Chapter 28 Process 321

 When Process Goes Wrong

It is your sister's birthday. You have bought her a gift that you must first put
together. Carefully following the instructions, you try to assemble the item,
but something is wrong. It does not work. Either you have not followed the
instructions properly, or the instructions themselves are not clear. We have all
found ourselves in this kind ofsituation. It reminds us that it takes careful thought
to write about a process and that the writer should not assume the reader knows
more than they are likely to know.

Answer the following questions in further exploration ofthis topic.

1. Think ofatime when you had to put something together but were not given
adequate directions. What did you do?
2. When people write instructions or give directions, what do they usually neglect to
keep in mind?
3. Recall a time when you had to explain a process to someone. Perhaps you were
showing someone how to get somewhere or writing a detailed description of
how to do a science experiment. What was the process? Was it hard to explain?
Why or why not?
4, What was your worst experience with trying to follow a process? You could have
been trying to work something out yourselfor follow someone else's directions.
How did you overcome your difficulty?

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all
the writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.’ For a review of
the writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay,
see Chapter 18, “The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay.”

Much of the instruction in this book is process writing. This very chapter, for
instance, outlines the process of writing a process paragraph or essay. Some
processes are familiar to most of us, such as assembling furniture from printed
instructions. The sample essay below describes a process that everyone has heard
about, but not everyone has actually done: changing a flat tire. Cara had never
changed a flat tire until she came upon a brochure on how to do it. Until she read
the steps, she had assumed it was actually a difficult process. The power of words
made her realize her fears were unfounded. So the next time her tire went flat, she
proudly put her new skills to work. She hopes that her essay can serve the same
purpose for others.
This essay contains seven paragraphs as opposed to the usual five because Cara
decided that the process of changing a tire would include four steps (one paragraph
per step), and she wanted to add a paragraph for general tips.

Ped Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Model Essay: Replacing aTire
by Cara Watters

What happens when you get a flat tire? Do you immediately call Roadside
Assistance or the CAA (Canadian Automobile Association)? Or do you
consider a flat tire the equivalent of your window washer fluid running out?
If you wouldn’t call the CAA to replace the fluid, why would you call someone
to help you replace a tire, right? But if you haven’t replaced a tire yet and
would like to know how to do it if you ever experience the need, read on.
Maybe the sense of accomplishment in itself is worth forgoing the call for
help. To replace a flat tire, you need to follow a few easy steps and follow
some general tips.
The first thing to do is ensure safety. As soon as you know your tire has
“bitten the dust,” drive the car, if you can, onto the shoulder of the road
(where it is as level as possible) so that both you and the car are out of harm’s
way. Put the transmission into park and apply the parking brake. If you are
driving a stick shift, place the shift into gear. Turn the engine off and turn on
your hazard lights; after all, with more and more drivers on their cellphones
these days, you want to make sure you're as visible as possible. For this
reason, it might also be a good idea to open your hood until you’re ready to
drive away. Also, if you’re not perfectly level, place a wheel chock (or large
rock) either behind (if on an incline) or in front of (if on a decline) the wheel
that is diagonally opposed to the one that needs changing.
Secondly, you need to take out the tools and loosen the lug nuts. Get
out the spare tire, a lug wrench (tire iron), and the car jack. Remove the
hubcap, if necessary. Turning the lug wrench counterclockwise, loosen the
lug nuts before jacking up the car. Loosen the lugs in star formation: one
lug, then the one opposite, then another and so on until each lug has been
loosened a few times.
Thirdly, you're ready to jack up the car and replace the tire. Jack up the
car carefully. Never go under your car when only a jack is holding it up. Jack
up the car a little higher than it is necessary to remove the old tire so that
there is room to put the spare on. Remove the lug nuts all the way and put
them in a place that is safe and where you know they will not roll away. Then
remove the flat tire and put it aside. Put the spare on the threaded studs,
making sure the air valve is facing out.
Now it’s time to finish the job. Close up your patient by first replacing
the lug nuts. Tighten them the same way you loosened them, by the star
formation: tighten one a little, then tighten the one opposite a little. Go to
the next lug, and so on. Every lug should be tightened a few times. Slowly
lower the jack, and remove it. Give all the lug nuts a final tightening until you
can’t tighten any more. Replace the hubcap. Make sure everything you've put
down is picked up, and you're ready to go.

NEL
Chapter 28 Process 323
 Finally, here are some tips to remember to make your entire process of
changing a tire a more pleasant experience.
1. Have a strong, hollow pipe (about two feet [60 cm] in length) in your
car that can help you with leverage when you're using the lug wrench.
2. Have some penetrating oil on hand that you can squirt on the lug nuts
if they stick. (After you squirt some, wait a moment, and then try again.)
3. Use gloves when removing a flat tire; after all, if the tire is bald, there
may be steel strands sticking out that can cut you.
4. Check your spare tire before any of this happens to make sure it is
inflated properly. Imagine going as far as taking your flat tire off only
to find out your spare is flat too!
So that’s the skinny on tire changing. Next time your tire goes flat, you
may not have to call CAA after all. If you undergo the above four steps and
follow the tips of changing a tire yourself, you are likely to experience a sense
of accomplishment and pride. After the news spreads of what you’ve done,
you might find that you’ve acquired a reputation as a local expert. Others will
come to depend on you for tire changing help and advice.

Questions for Analysis

. Is this process essay more directional or informational?
. What method did the writer use for the introduction?
. What method did the writer use for the conclusion?
. How many main steps are there to the process as the writer described it?
a . Identify
me
NM
B&O all the parts of the passage where the writer gives specific examples to
make a step clear.
oy). Identify some of the transitions used by the writer.

Process Essay
Assignment 3
Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given for Assignment
2) and write a process essay of at least five paragraphs to develop that topic.

Suggested Topics

How to give a speech

How to do well in a job interview
How to plan a backpacking trip
How to buy a used computer
How to study for a test
How to choose the right college
How to redecorate a room
How to buy clothes on a limited budget
How to learn to sing
= = How
IS
WU
eS
Si
Sy
SI
eee
Ss to make new friends

324 Unit4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Writing the Process Essay: How to...
Thousands of books and articles have been written that promise to help us
accomplish some goal in life: how to start a business, how to cook, how to lose weight,
how to install a shower, how to assemble a bicycle. In the essay you are about to
write, you have the opportunity to describe how you once went through a process to
achieve a goal of some kind.

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18, “The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular the following sections:
“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea’
“Stage Two: Outlining or (Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and clearly,
you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases, catego-
rized by their function, found on the inside back cover ofthis book.

Working Together: Campus Woes

1. As aclass, discuss and list some of the problems on your campus today. Then
form groups of three or four. As a group, choose one of the problems froin the list
and discuss it for a few minutes, then draw up a list of steps that need to be taken
to improve the situation.
2. Use the list to create sentences that will go into a letter to be sent to the
appropriate college or university official
suggesting the process that could be Se
followed to solve the problem. Add an DEAR ABBY
introductory paragraph that presents Dear Abby: | am doing my co-op place-
ment at a cable television company
the problem and a conclusion that
; n : as a computer operator. Lately, every
thanks the official for their attention. morning when | sign in on my com-
Write the finished letter. puter, | find suggestive messages from
the man | relieve from the night shift.
3. Imagine youre an advice columnist
lama single mother. | am also

Read the letter and answer the following interest in this co-worker. Should |
joules report him to my supervisor? Someone
question: in my office suggested that | file a
What would you tell this person to do? sexual harassment charge.
Explain the process she should follow to | =oHaraccad
solve her problem. : a,

NEL Chapter 28 Process 825

 In a small group, consider the following questions:

a. Should the letter writer confront the man who is harassing her?
b. Should she go to her supervisor? Should she tell her co-workers about the
problem?
c. Should she share her problem with the man she is dating?
d. Should she avoid the problem and quit her job?
e. How important is evidence for a person in this situation? How and when
should she gather documentation for a possible formal action?
f. Does she need a lawyer? Does she need to consider the consequences of a
formal action?

326 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay

NEL
 Description

DEFINITION
Description is the use of words to help the reader understand how people, places, or things are
perceived. How a particular food tastes, looks, and smells, for example, might be the subject of a
descriptive paragraph or essay.

Description is one of the basic building blocks of good writing. When you are able to
write an effective description of a person, an object, a place, or even an idea, you are
in control of your writing. Good description also makes you able to control what your
reader sees and does not see.
The key to writing a good description is the choice of the specific details you
will use. Specific details make your descriptions real and help your reader remember
what you have written. A careful writer always pays special attention to specific
details in any piece of writing.
A second important aspect of good description is the use of sensory images.

DEFINITION ae
Sensory images are details that relate to your sense of sight, smell, touch, taste, or hearing.
Example: The deafening screams and relentless yelling of the children on the school bus drove
the driver mad.

When you appeal to at least some of the five senses in your descriptive writing, your
reader will be able to relate directly to what you are saying. Sensory images also help
your reader remember what you have written.
A third important aspect of good description is the order in which you place the
details you have chosen. The combination of specific details, sensory images, and a

NEL
S27
 well-chosen order in which you present these details and impressions will help your
reader form a dominant impression of what you are describing.
Some descriptive writing is more objective than subjective (e.g., a police report).
If your descriptive piece is more objective, give the readers enough facts to allow
them to come up with their own dominant impressions. If your descriptive piece is
subjective instead, your dominant impression should be suggested from the outset,
even if it’s not completely obvious. Establishing a dominant impression is the job of
the topic sentence of a paragraph or the thesis statement of an essay.

Developing Paragraphs: Description

The following example of a descriptive paragraph includes all the elements of a good
description. As you read this description of a typical neighbourhood delicatessen,
note the specific details and the sensory images the writer uses. After you have read
the description, ask yourself whether the writer has provided a dominant impression.
If so, state that dominant impression in your own words. What is your evidence for
this conclusion? Does the paragraph feature subjective or objective description?

Model Paragraph: Delicatessen Decor

The delicatessen was a wide store with high ceilings that were a dark brown
colour from many years of not being painted. The rough wooden shelves
on both sides of the store were filled from floor to ceiling with cans of fruits
and vegetables, jars of pickles and olives, and special imported canned fish.
A large refrigerator case against one wall was always humming loudly from
the effort of keeping milk, cream, and several cases of pop and juice cool
at all times. At the end of the store was the main counter with its gleaming
white metal scale on top and its cold cuts and freshly made salads inside.
Stacked on top of the counter beside the scale today were baskets of fresh
rolls and breads that gave off an aroma that contained a mixture of onion,
caraway seed, and pumpernickel. Behind the scale was the friendly face of
Mr. Rubino, who was in his store seven days a week, fourteen hours or more
each day. He was always ready with a smile or a friendly comment, or even a
sample piece of cheese or smoked meat as a friendly gesture for his “growing
customers,” as he referred to us kids in the neighbourhood.

Working with Description: Selecting

the Dominant Impression
When you use a number of specific sensory images as you write a description, you
should do more than simply write a series of sentences on a particular topic. You
should also create a dominant impression in your reader’s mind. Each individual
sentence that you write is part of a picture that becomes clear when the reader
finishes the paragraph.

328 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 For example, when you describe a place, the dominant impression you create
might be of a place that is warm, or friendly, or comfortable; or it could be a place
that is formal, or elegant, or artistic. When you write a description of a person, your
reader could receive the dominant impression of a positive, efficient person who is
outgoing and creative, or of a person who appears to be cold, distant, or hostile. All
the sentences should support the dominant impression you have chosen.
Here is a list of descriptive words for you to use as a guide as you work through
this chapter. (Not surprisingly, all these words are adjectives, since adjectives are
words that describe persons, places, and things.) Picking a dominant impression is
essential in writing the descriptive college or university paragraph.

Selecting the Dominant Impression

. Possible Dominant Impressions for Descriptions of Places
crowded cozy inviting cheerful dazzling
romantic restful dreary drab uncomfortable
cluttered ugly tasteless unfriendly gaudy
. stuffy eerie depressing spacious sunny

- Possible Dominant Impressions for Descriptions of People

* creative angry independent proud withdrawn
tense shy aggressive generous sullen
silent witty pessimistic responsible efficient
* snobbish placid bumbling bitter easygoing

Selecting the Dominant Impression

Each ofthe following places could be the topic for a descriptive paragraph. First, the
writer must decide on a dominant impression. Fill in each blank to the right of the
topic with an appropriate dominant impression. Use the list above if you need help.
The first one is done for you.

Topic Dominant Impression

1. The college pub on pub night loud
2 . Apark at dusk
5 . The room where you are now sitting
4, The variety store nearest you
5 The campus bookstore in September
6 . An overcrowded waiting room
i _ The kitchen in the morning

Revising Vague Dominant Impressions

Certain words in the English language have become so overused that they no longer
have any specific meaning for a reader. Careful writers avoid these words because

NEL
Chapter 29 Description 329
 they are almost useless in descriptive writing. Here is a list of the most common
overused words:

good, bad
nice, fine, okay
normal, typical
interesting
beautiful

The following paragraph is an example of the kind of writing that results from the
continued use of vague words:

Model Paragraph: A Day in the Life... (I)

I had a typical day. The weather was nice and my job was interesting. The
food for lunch was okay; supper was really good. After supper, I saw my
girlfriend, who is really beautiful. That’s when my day really became fun.

Notice that all of the details in the paragraph are vague. The writer has told us
what happened, but we cannot really see any of the details that are mentioned. This is
because the writer has made the mistake of using words that have lost much of their
meaning. Replacing the vague words in the paragraph will create an entirely different
impression:

Model Paragraph: A Day in the Life... (II)

I had an event-filled day that was typical of the kind of day I’ve been enjoying
lately. The weather on this summer day was perfect for late June, and the
challenge of my job in the healthcare field made me feel that this warm and
sunny day was made just for me. I had a delicious lunch in a tiny Italian
restaurant, and a supper to excite the taste buds at a cozy Greek restaurant
that just oozed atmosphere. After supper, I met my girlfriend, who has a
warm sense of humour and who is a partner in a major law firm down the
street from where I work.

The following exercise will give you practice in recognizing and eliminating
overused words.

Revising a Vague Dominant Impression

In each of the spaces provided, change the underlined word to give a more specific
dominant impression. An example-has been done for you.

Vague: The tablecloth was beautiful.

Revised: The tablecloth was ofwhite linen with delicate blue embroidery,

330 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 1. The sunset was beautiful.
2. The water
felt nice.
3. Horseback riding was fun.
4. The traffic was bad.
5. The hotel lobby was typical.
6. The main street is interesting.
7. The dessert tasted good.

Working with Description: Sensory Images

One of the basic ways all good writers communicate experiences to their readers is by
using sensory impressions. We respond to writing that makes us see an object, hear a
sound, touch a surface, smell an odour, or taste a flavour. When a writer uses one or
more of these sensory images in a piece of writing, we tend to pay more attention to
what she or he is saying, and we tend to remember the details of what we have read.
For example, if you come across the word door in a sentence, you may or may not
pay attention to it. However, if the writer tells you it was a brown wooden door that
was rough to the touch and creaked loudly when it opened, you would hardly be able
to forget it. The door would stay in your mind because the writer used sensory images
to make you aware of it.
The following sentences are taken from the description of Mr. Rubino’s
delicatessen. Notice how in each sentence the writer uses at least one sensory image
to make the details of that sentence remain in our minds. The physical sense the
writer is appealing to is indicated for each sentence.

1. A large refrigerator case against one wall was always humming loudly from the
effort of keeping milk, cream, and several cases of pop and juice cool at all times.

Physical sense: hearing

2. Stacked on top of the counter . . . were baskets of fresh rolls and breads that gave
off an aroma that contained a mixture of onion, caraway seed, and pumpernickel.

Physical sense: smell

3. He was always ready with . .. a sample piece of cheese or smoked meat as a

friendly gesture...

Physical sense: taste

When you use sensory images in your own writing, you will stimulate your
readers’ interest and create images in their minds that they will remember.

Coherence in Description: Putting Details in Spatial Order

In descriptive paragraphs, the writer often chooses to arrange supporting details
according to their location in space. With this method, you place yourself at the scene

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Chapter 29 Description 331
 and then use a logical order such as moving from nearby to farther away, right to left,
or top to bottom. Often you move in such a way that you save the most important
detail until last in order to achieve the greatest effect.
In the paragraph about the delicatessen, the writer first describes the ceilings and
walls of the store, then proceeds to the shelves and large refrigerator, and ends by
describing the main counter of the deli with its owner, Mr. Rubino, standing behind
it. The details are thus presented starting with the outer limits of the room and
moving inward to the man who is central to the point of this paragraph. A description
of a clothes closet might order the details differently—perhaps the writer would go
from the ground up, beginning with the shoes standing on the floor and finishing
with the hats and gloves arranged on the top shelf.
Here is a paragraph from Thierry Mallet’s Glimpses of the Barren Lands, a
description of his travels through the Canadian Arctic:

Our camp had been pitched at the foot of a great, bleak, ragged hill, a few
feet from the swirling waters of the Kazan River. The two small green tents,
pegged down tight with heavy rocks, shivered and rippled under the faint
touch of the northern breeze. A thin wisp of smoke rose from the embers of
the fire.

Notice that the writer begins with a description of the landscape, then gives
a description of the camp, and ends with a picture of the small fire. In spite of the
shortness of the paragraph, we are able to follow the writer through the description
because there is a logical plan. No matter what method of spatial order you choose to
organize the details in a descriptive paragraph, be sure the results allow your reader
to see the scene in a logical order.

Practice 1 Coherence: Putting Details in Spatial Order

Each ofthe following topic sentences is followed by descriptive sentences that are out
of order. Put these descriptive sentences in order by placing the appropriate number
in the space provided. Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key
to Practices.’

1. The young woman was a teen ofthe twenty-first century.

(Order the material from top to bottom.)
She wore hip-hugging, low-rise faded jeans.
Her nose was pierced with a subtle gold stud.
She displayed a tasteful tattoo of a single red rose on
her left shoulder blade above her tight-fitting tube top.
Her brown hair was cut unevenly and streaked with
blond.
Her wedge sandals looked cute and comfortable at
the same time.

Ba2 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 2. The locker room was in chaos.
(Order the material from near to far.)
Immediately to my right, |saw Pat and Chris slapping
each other with towels.
Behind the pair, a row of locker doors banged open
and shut.
|squeezed past a noisy group crowding the doorway.
At the back, the rest of the team was hugging and
congratulating our hero in celebration of her winning
goal.

Writing the Descriptive Paragraph Step by Step

To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-step approach
so that you can work on the steps one at a time. This will ensure that you are not
missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole. There are other ways
to go about writing an effective paragraph, but what follows is one logical method you
can use to achieve results.

Steps for Writing the Descriptive Paragraph -

et Study the given topic, then plan your topic sentence, especially the dominant impression.
« 2. List at least ten details that come to mind when you think about the topic.
* iss)3. Choose the five or six most important details from your list. Be sure these details support the
dominant impression.
. Put your final list in a logical order.
5. Write at least one complete sentence for each of the details you have chosen from yout list.
* 6. Write a concluding statement that offers some reason for describing this topic.
. Finally, copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.
Js
Gai
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Writing the Descriptive Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the box
above to work through the writing process for a descriptive paragraph. (These steps
are similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in Chapter 32; refer to it for a step-
by-step example and a completed sample paragraph.)

Topic: A person you admire

On Your Own: Writing Descriptive Paragraphs

from Model Paragraphs
Description of a Person
In the following model paragraph, from Alistair MacLeod’s story “The Lost Salt Gift
of Blood,” the author describes his mother in Nova Scotia.

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Chapter 29 Description 333
 Model Paragraph: Mother Fortress
My mother ran her house as her brothers ran their boats. Everything was
clean and spotless and in order. She was tall and dark and powerfully
energetic. In later years, she reminded me of the women of Thomas Hardy,
particularly Eustacia Vye, in a physical way. She fed and clothed a family of
seven children, making all of the meals and most of the clothes. She grew
miraculous gardens and magnificent flowers and raised broods of hens and
ducks. She would walk miles on berry-picking expeditions and hoist her
skirts to dig for clams when the tide was low. She was fourteen years younger
than my father, whom she had married when she was 26, and had been a
local beauty for a period of ten years. My mother was of the sea as were all of
her people, and her horizons were the very literal ones she scanned with her
dark and fearless eyes.

Assignment 1 Descriptive Paragraph

Describe a person—preferably one you have observed more than once. If you have
seen this person only once, indicate the details that made them stay in your mind.
If you choose to describe a person with whom you are familiar, select the most
outstanding details that will help give your reader a single, dominant impression.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given for Assignment 2.)

. A loyal friend
. Alocal musician
. Acab driver
A fashion model
. Agossipy neighbour
A police officer
>NQOARWN
An aerobics instructor

Writing the Descriptive Essay

Like the topic sentence of a descriptive paragraph, the thesis of a descriptive essay
identifies what is being described and includes the overall impression the author has
of the topic. Each support paragraph might deal with one component of what is being
described. The following is a brief outline of a descriptive essay:

Thesis: The 100-year-old house was definitely haunted.

Topic sentence for First, every time people entered any room in the house,
paragraph #1: something seemed to be out of place, contrary to the
owner’s insistence that she never changes a thing.

334 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Topic sentence for Second, visitors constantly scurry out of the house
paragraph #2: in a fright, claiming later they’ve sighted at least
one ghost.
Topic sentence for Scariest of all are the stories about visitors to the house
paragraph #3: constantly hearing what seems like moaning coming
from all around, as if the walls are filled with sick people
struggling to break free.

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all the
writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, "The Essay.” For a review ofthe
writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay, see
Chapter 18,"The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay."

The following descriptive essay was written by an unnamed tourist to Ottawa.

This writer claims to have been to our nation’s capital many times. But he was
shocked to see something in particular, not only because he hadn’t seen it before and
wondered when it got there, but also because of the impact it made on him.

Model Essay: A Monumental Experience

Strolling along in the area of Elgin and Laurier Streets of Ottawa, one can’t
help but see several impressive national landmarks: the House of Commons,
of course; the National Art Gallery; the historic Rideau Canal Locks; and the
War Memorial and Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, which reminds us all of
the tragic shooting of Corporal Nathan Cirillo on October 22, 2014. But out
of nowhere, a single monument demands one’s attention with a pull that
is mysterious and deeply spiritual. It’s the National Aboriginal Veterans
Monument in Confederation Park, designed in 2001 by artist Noel Lloyd
Pinay of the Peepeekisis First Nation in Saskatchewan. Made of bronze
and granite, the six-metre-high structure pays tribute to Native Canadian
soldiers who fought and died for this country in the First, Second and Korean
Wars, even when they were deprived of the right to vote. One can’t help but
examine it from all sides just to see what else is there. At a glance, it’s difficult
to figure out what everything means, but there’s an overwhelming sense that
it’s all extremely important. Tourists, locals and students stare at it for a long
time as if it casts a spell.
Most prominent of the structure is the central figures, those of four
Indigenous peoples, sitting back to back facing four directions, looking
serene and proud, soldier-like, ready for battle. Two hold weapons,
and the other two hold spiritual items. The spiritual items two of the
Indigenous peoples hold are the eagle’s feather fan and a peace pipe.

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Chapter 29 Description 335
 Marbury/Shutterstock.com

The combination of the weapons and spiritual items conveys a sense of

balance suggesting that even in the midst of war lies the hope for peace. One
look at the overall structure yields a sense of honour, duty, resilience, balance
and harmony with the environment.
Soaring above the heads of the First Nations people is the spread-winged
eagle, majestic and powerful, known as the Thunderbird, symbol of the
Creator. The eagle encompasses everything spiritual about the Native peoples
and life itself. To cultures throughout the world, the eagle both unites and
guides those below. It carries prayers to the Creator. It represents great power
and balance, dignity and grace. With its ability to rise above the material
world to see the spiritual, it represents both intuition and higher truth.
The four animals that surround the statue include the grizzly, the wolf,
the buffalo and the elk. They are the spirit guides, each with a specific
attribute. The huge grizzly symbolizes healing powers. The wolf represents
family values, the buffalo, tenacity and the elk, wariness. The grizzly and the
wolf are depicted as howling as if they are in conference with the cosmos. The
presence of these beautiful creatures suggests a spiritual connection between
the Native peoples and the animals and the environment.
The nation’s capital is a must see with its historic sites, the Ottawa River
separating Ontario from Quebec, the beautiful bike paths, including the

336 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 ones along the Rideau Canal for bike enthusiasts or even tourists who want a
more natural scenic tour of the city while getting some exercise. The National
Aboriginal Veterans Monument in Confederation Park, however, is uniquely
awe-inspiring. It drives home the truth that all life must be respected: all
people, animals and the environment. It grabs your mind and spirit. A
tribute to First Nations people, it’s not just about First Nations people.
It envelops you regardless of your background and your experience. You
eventually leave the monument feeling a little more connected to everything
and everyone than you were before.

Questions for Analysis

1. What part of speech enriches the descriptive value of this piece more than any
other?
. Give some examples from this piece of this part of speech.
. What is the object of the description in this essay? Could it be argued there are
several? Why or why not?
. What is different between the first paragraph and the last paragraph?
. Why do you think the author chooses to remain anonymous?

Assignment 2 Descriptive Essay

Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given for Assignment 2)
and write a descriptive essay of at least five paragraphs to develop that topic.

Suggested Topics

. The best job |ever had

. The career of my dreams
. My favourite aunt or uncle
My pet
My first car
. The ideal mate
. The most embarrassing date
. The best dance club
. My best friend
. The best meal | ever had
. The worst restaurant I've ever eaten in
. My favourite music
. My tattoos and/or piercings
. The worst hospital I’ve ever been in
= _ The best float in the
IAS
Ci
AS
GH
OY
CoS)
SO
OS
WN parade

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Chapter 29 Description 337
 While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18:"The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’inparticular the following sections:

"Brainstorming"
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea"
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)"
"Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft"
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and clearly, you
may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases, categorized by
their function, found on the inside back cover ofthis book.

Working Together: The Hunt for aRoommate

The following personal advertisement appeared in a local newspaper:

Young man seeks neat, responsible roommate to share off-campus

apartment for next academic year. Person must be a nonsmoker and respect
a vegetarian who cooks at home. Furniture not needed, but an Xbox would
be welcome!

Finding the right roommate in a college or university residence, the right person
with whom to share an apartment, or the right long-term companion can be difficult.
People’s personal habits have a way of causing friction in everyday life. Divide into
groups for a brief discussion of the kinds of problems that come up in sharing space
with another person.

1. Imagine that an agency that matches people with roommates has asked you to
write a paragraph or two in which you provide a character description of yourself.
As you write, be sure you include information about your hobbies, habits,
attitudes, and any other personal characteristics that could make a difference in
the kind of person the agency will select for you.
. Imagine that the agency has asked you to write a paragraph or two in which you
provide a character sketch of the roommate you would like the agency to find
for you.

338 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Definition

Definition is one of the most useful forms of writing. The ability to provide accurate
definitions is crucial to ensuring that your audience understands your words and
ideas. Most of the essays you will write in college or university will require you to
define terms.
Writing a definition means explaining what a word, phrase, or concept means.
You will often need to define terms in your writing when they are likely to be
unfamiliar to your reader. For example, the writer of a health sciences report for the
general public who uses the word contusion may want to explain that it is another
word for a bruise. In fact, defining a term or concept is often an effective way to begin
an essay. Thus, the writer of an essay on discrimination may first want to provide a
definition of the term before describing examples of discrimination.

More Personal Meaning

In some situations, you may want to give a more personal meaning to a common
term. For instance, you may think that you have a clear idea of what the word
success means. But if you talk with your classmates about their definitions
of success, you will probably find that everyone has a different mental picture of
what success looks like. For some, a successful person might be one who has a great
deal of money. For others, success might mean achieving a personal goal, such as
competing in the Olympics. Still others might think of success as having a happy
family life. Personal definitions are useful in writing because they cast new light
on ordinary terms and make us question our preconceptions about our day-to-
day lives.

NEL
339
 A definition is an explanation of the meaning or significance of aterm or concept. The starting
point for a good paragraph or essay of definition is to group the term being defined into a larger
category or class. (See Chapter 31, “Classification’’)

For example, a trout is a kind of fish, a doll is a kind of toy, and a shirt is an article
of clothing. Here is a dictionary entry for the word myth (from the Webster's New
World College Dictionary, Fifth Edition):

myth (mith) n. [LL. mythos < Gr. mythos, a word, speech, story, legend]
1. a traditional story of unknown authorship, ostensibly with a historical
basis, but serving usually to explain some phenomenon of nature, the origin
of man, or the customs, institutions, religious rites, etc. of a people: myths
usually involve the exploits of gods and heroes: cf. LEGEND 2. such stories
collectively; mythology 3. any fictitious story, or unscientific account, theory,
belief, etc. 4. any imaginary person or thing spoken of as though existing.

To what larger category does the word myth belong? According to the first
meaning above, it is a kind of story, or narrative.

DEFINITION
After a word has been put into a larger class, its definition gives the identifying characteristics
that make the word different from other members in the class.

Stating what class or category a word belongs to is typically the first step in
defining it, but more is usually required. What makes a trout different from a
bass, a doll different from a puppet, a shirt different from a sweater, a myth
different from a parable? Once again, the dictionary can offer some assistance.
From the first dictionary definition of myth above, we learn that a myth is a specific
kind of story that offers an explanation of the behaviour of individual human
beings or the religious practices of a people, often involving the adventures of gods
and heroes.
When you write a paragraph or an essay that uses definition, the dictionary entry
is only the beginning. It is not the function of a dictionary to go into great depth. It
can provide only the basic meanings and synonyms. For your reader to understand
a difficult term or idea, you will need to expand these basics into what is called an
extended definition.

DEFINITION
An extended definition seeks to analyze a concept in order to give the reader a more complete
understanding.

For instance, you might include a historical perspective of a word or term. When
or how did the concept begin? How did the term change or evolve over the years?
How have different cultures understood the term? You will become involved in the

340 Unit4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 connotations of the word (not just what it means, but what it implies). Extended
definition uses more than one method to arrive at an understanding of a term.

Developing Paragraphs: Definition

Religion scholar Karen Armstrong is the author of A Short History of Myth. In the
following passage, the author’s starting point resembles the first two meanings from
the dictionary definition of myth, but she goes on to shed light on the other two
dictionary meanings as well. First, refer back to the dictionary definition of myth
earlier in this chapter for a reminder.

Model Paragraph: The Meaning of Myth

by Karen Armstrong

Myths are universal and timeless stories that reflect and shape our lives—
they mirror our desires, our fears, our longings, and provide narratives that
attempt to help us make sense of the world. . .. Today the word “myth” is
often used to describe something that is simply not true. ... When we hear
of gods walking the earth, of dead men striding out of tombs, or of seas
miraculously parting to let a favoured people escape from their enemies, we
dismiss these stories as incredible and demonstrably untrue. . .. A myth is
essentially a guide; it tells us what we must do in order to live more richly.
If we do not apply it to our own situation and make the myth a reality in our
own lives, it will remain as incomprehensible and remote as the rules of a
board game, which often seem confusing and boring until we start to play.

The author, like the dictionary, puts the term into a larger class: myths are stories.
She also identifies the characteristics of these stories that are different from other
stories: they are universal and timeless. They reflect and shape our lives. She also
goes on to explain the relationship between one dictionary meaning and another that
seems at first to be very different: a story that is about gods who walk the earth seems
incredible and untrue; therefore, a myth comes to be known as a falsehood. She argues
that it is important for humanity to reclaim the real meaning of the term myth.

Working with Definition: Class

Define each ofthe following terms by placing it in a larger class. Keep in mind that
when you define something by class, you are placing it in a larger category so that the
reader can see where it belongs. Use the dictionary if you need help. The first example
has been done for you.
Chemistry is one of the branches of science that deals with a close study of the
natural world.

1. Amotorcycle is
2. Poetry is

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Chapter 30 Definition 341
 3. Democracy is
4. Sugar is
5. Aviola is

Working with Definition: Distinguishing Characteristics

Using the same terms as in Exercise 1, give one or two identifying characteristics that
differentiate each term from other terms in the same class. An example has been done
for you.

Chemistry is concerned with the structure, properties, and reactions of matter.

1. A motorcycle

Zr Oe try:

3. Democracy

4. Sugar

5. Aviola

Writing the Definition Paragraph Step by Step

To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-
step approach so that you can work on the one aspect of the skill at a
time. This approach will ensure that you are not missing a crucial point or
misunderstanding a part of the whole. There are other ways to go about writing
an effective paragraph, but the following is one logical method you can use to
achieve results.

342 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Steps for Writing the Definition Paragraph ..-........ cet eee eee eee wees ens
1. Write a topic sentence that identifies what you are going to define.
» 2. List all the possible concepts for your extended definition.
* 3. Review the list and eliminate inappropriate concepts.
. 4. Put your final list in order.
5 . Write at least one complete sentence for each of the concepts on your final list.
* 6 6. Write a concluding statement that summarizes the most important parts of your definition.
: Y]7. Finally, copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.
oe Foe HHSC HEH HTH HHH FT OH SHEET HTHHT STEHT HHMSES FL OEFS FHC ECHSHSTH HSC HE HOH HHO HHO OES

Writing the Definition Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the box
above to work through the writing process for a definition paragraph. (These steps are
similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in Chapter 32; refer to “Step-by-Step
Example of Writing a Narrative Paragraph.)

Topic: Intelligence

To help you get started on a topic sentence below, read the following:

We often equate intelligence with being “smart”or with having above-average

ability in some area. Yet we likely all know some rather intelligent people who
don't act very smart, or who are very absent-minded. We could also have a pet
that is “intelligent”
What is intelligence as you understand it?

Assignment 1 Paragraph of Definition

Some of us are dreamers and some of us are realists; we all have distinguishing
characteristics within the larger class of human being. Using one ofthe following
suggested topics, write a paragraph ofdefinition of who or what you are.

Suggested Topics

(For other suggested topics, see the list given for Assignment 2.)

Happy-go-lucky
Creative
A friend to all
A comedian
ae Reserved
COS:
Shika

Developing an Essay of Definition

The thesis in this type of essay, of course, identifies what is being defined. It also
should provide a good, but general, definition. Then each support paragraph
explains a different component or aspect of what has been defined in the first
paragraph.

Chapter 30 Definition 343

 For an example, see the essay below by Jenny Yuen on sexual addiction, entitled
“Love Hurts.” The first support paragraph (the second paragraph of the essay) deals
with the question of how common the addiction is. The third support paragraph
(fourth essay paragraph) deals with a particular example. The fifth support paragraph
(sixth essay paragraph) deals with the notion that attending twelve-step program
meetings may not be enough to control this addiction.
No one support paragraph should deal with more than one component or aspect
of whatever is being defined. But once the support paragraph has identified the
component to be discussed in its first sentence (the topic sentence of that paragraph),
the author, of course, can go ahead and add various supporting details (including
examples) to support the topic sentence.

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all the
writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.’ For a review ofthe
writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay, see
Chapter 18, “The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay."

When Jenny wrote the following piece, she was a student in a journalism
program. The piece was originally written for publication in a newspaper, which is
why much of the writing seems journalistic in nature. The paragraphs are longer than
typical newspaper paragraphs, however, because the story was adapted to suit a more
academic style of essay for this chapter. The piece is also a bit longer than a typical
essay that is written in class (seven paragraphs instead of the typical five):

Model Essay: Love Hurts*

by Jenny Yuen

Many people, single and married, look forward to Valentine’s Day. It’s an
opportunity to celebrate the relationship you have and to draw your partner
even closer than before. For love and sex addicts, Valentine’s Day may not
be simply roses and candy, but rather a traumatic reminder that love hurts.
February 14 may bring back painful memories of past breakups, or trigger
the need to go out and find a “special someone” who may not turn out to
be all that special. Sexual and love addiction is the continuing pattern of
unwanted compulsive romantic behaviour that has a negative impact on the
addict’s personal, social and/or economic standing.
Sex and love addiction are more common than you might imagine, says
Rob Hawkings, a psychotherapist at Bellwood Health Services in North York
(part of Toronto), Ontario. These addictions are also very complex disorders
in which the victims may not realize that their behaviour falls into the “addict”
category. How can you tell whether you have “normal” relationship problems
or that youre in love with love and sex? (See questionnaire at the end.)

*
Jenny Yuen, “Love Hurts.” Reprinted by permission of Jenny Yuen.

344 Unit4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 The answer is another question: Are you in control? But having self-control
is much easier said than done. “We look for a pattern of out-of-control
behaviour, whether that’s with pornographic material or flirting or continually
getting into romantic involvements in a serial kind of way or giving into
simultaneous multiple [relationships],” says 51-year-old Hawkings, a
recovering alcoholic and sex addict, himself, who has been working in the
field for a decade.

Nelson/Shutterstock.com
Suzi

Although the demographic of addicts varies, most of the people who

attend the 12-step meetings are males in their late 20s to late 50s. Still, there
are no definite statistics of how much of the Canadian population is affected
by sexual and love addiction, although Hawkings says more patients would
be checking into Bellwood for therapy if they realized it is a problem. For
example, Judy, 37, tormented herself with obsessive sexual fantasies for
four years. She had constant fantasies about extra-marital relationships,
and suffered from sexual anorexia, trying to avoid her problems so she
wouldn’t have to deal with them. “I was in a marriage, and I started thinking
about men outside my marriage so much that it was affecting my work
life. Ihate to use the word obsession . . . but I found myself powerless over
my thoughts.”
Bellwood is new at the sex addiction game, but SLAA (or Sex and Love
Addicts Anonymous), also known as The Augustine Fellowship, has been
working worldwide with addicts for more than 30 years. SLAA champions
the Alcoholics Anonymous 12-step program as an efficient treatment
program for sufferers of sex and love addiction. Currently, SLAA has more
than 1200 meeting locations throughout the world, open to all who believe
they may have a problem. People who believe they may suffer from love and
sexual addiction may come to these meetings anonymously. There, they have
an opportunity to tell their stories and listen to others.

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Chapter 30 Definition 345
 Although Bellwood avidly encourages its sex addiction patients to
attend these meetings, Hawkings says 12-step programs are not enough.
Bellwood’s program includes life-skills coaching to help addicts deal with
communication and feelings. In some special cases, Bellwood prescribes
medication for sex addicts. “There are situations where there are some
people who need a carefully prescribed anti-depressant,” says Hawkings,
who is careful not to recommend addictive medication such as Valium. “We
sometimes get people coming in who have real psychiatric problems as well
as addictions going on.”
The question still remains: Can the love and sex addict be cured?
“The classic stereotype is AA, where people are recovering for the rest of
their lives, but for the rest of their lives need not forget they’re alcoholics,”
Hawkings says. By and large, that is the case with sexual addiction. People
are always going to be susceptible to using the sexual-addictive fix that they
might have used in the past when they were under stress. “One thing we
work very hard on in recovery is managing the stress in their lives.
As much as SLAA meetings are well attended, they would be bursting
at the seams if more people realized that not all love and sex relationships
are healthy ones. Even more people are unaware that love and sex can
be addictions much like alcoholism and drug abuse. Judy was fortunate
enough to alter her sexual behaviours into healthier ones because of the
SLAA program. “I felt freedom right away. I was really fortunate,” Judy says.
“You don’t graduate from [a 12-step program]. They call it being ‘restored to
sanity,’ but a better way to put it is we now have a choice over our decisions.”

The following is a questionnaire to help determine if you are a sex or love

addict. If you answer yes to most of these questions, you may be.

* Do you still see someone, even though you know the relationship has
a destructive effect on you?
* Do you feel like you have to have sex?
« Do you have sex regardless of the consequences?
* Do you feel you lack dignity and wholeness?
» Is your life unmanageable because of your sexual or romantic
behaviour?

Contact Information:

» SLAA Toronto email: info@slaa-ontario .org (website: www.slaa

-ontario.org)
* Bellwood Health Services (Toronto): (416) 495-0926
- Sexhelp’s website: www.sexhelp.com
» Pia Mellody’s website: www.piamellody.com

346 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Questions for Analysis
. What is the central thing being defined in this essay?
- In what ways is sexual addiction like alcoholism? In what ways is it different?
- What surprises you the most in this piece by Jenny Yuen?
. What do you think is the main purpose of this essay? Why?
ep
ab
wh - Why do you think more men go to meetings for sex and love addiction than do
women?
ON - Do you think sex and love addiction can be as destructive as alcohol or substance
abuse? Why or why not?

Assignment 2 Essay of Definition

Choose one ofthe topics below, or come up with one of your own. Write an essay of
definition to develop that topic. The essay should be at least five paragraphs long.

Suggested Topics

Definition of your favourite martial art

Definition ofa particular disease or medical condition
Definition of love
Definition ofaterm in your particular field of study
COSDefinition of Impressionism or other kind of painting theory
Vie

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18: “The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular the following sections:

“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”

For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and clearly, you
may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases, categorized by
their function, found on the inside back cover of this book.

NEL
Chapter 30 Definition 347
 Working Together: What Does the Cover Mean to You?

One could argue that to interpret a picture is to define it. Look at the cover of this
book and come to a one-sentence conclusion as to what it means to you. Then use this
one-sentence conclusion as the topic sentence or thesis statement for a paragraph or
essay of definition. Look at the various components of the picture and pick the three
that make the biggest impression on you. Write one or more sentences about each of
these three parts as points that support your one-sentence interpretation.
Then exchange papers with someone else. Determine whether the three
supporting points actually back up the topic sentence or thesis statement. Discuss
your observations with a small group or as a class. Are there several interpretations of
the book cover? Are there certain universal points that everybody has made? Do any
or all of the interpretations relate to the study of writing?

348 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Classification

DEFINITION ,
Classification is the placing of items into separate categories for the purpose of helping us think
about these items more clearly. This approach can be useful and even necessary when large
numbers of items are being considered.

To classify things properly, you must first establish a basis for classification.
For example, if you are writing about computers, you could decide to classify them
according to where they are made. Then put the items into distinct categories,
making sure that each item belongs in only one category. For example, your
categories might be Canadian-made computers, U.S.-made computers, and
computers made overseas. However, if you made your categories imported
computers, Canadian-made computers, and used computers, this would not be an
effective use of classification; the category of used computers does not conform to
the basis for classification you established (where the computers are made), and an
imported computer or a Canadian-made computer could also be a used computer,
so the categories are not distinct.
A classification should also be complete. For example, if you were to classify
computers into the two categories of new and used, your classification would be
complete because any item must be either new or used. But if you tried to classify
computers into desktop and portable computers, there would be many computers
that would not fit either category (what about large mainfraines?).

NEL
349
 Developing Paragraphs: Classification
In the following paragraph, the writer describes classes of neighbours.

Model Paragraph: Nice and Neighbourly?

To me, there are only two kinds of neighbours: those who are friendly and
those who are not. The friendly neighbours always greet me with a smile
regardless of the situation. They are the ones whose names I usually know,
and they are always either asking me to come over, or they’re interested in
talking about what’s going on in their lives or asking me about mine. The
unfriendly neighbours, on the other hand, could be mistaken for complete
strangers no matter how long they’ve lived in the neighbourhood. I don’t
know their names. They pass me on the street as if they’ve never seen me
before. It’s those neighbours who make me think that if I dared to try to
strike up a conversation with them, they’d scowl, or, in some way, they’d
make me feel sorry for ever trying. I just hope that if one day my house is on
fire, my friendly neighbours are at home so that I can run to them for help.

In this paragraph, the writer presents two distinct types of neighbours: friendly
ones and unfriendly ones. These are the only types that have any significance for the
writer. The writer’s classification is complete because it covers the entire range of
neighbours—there are, in the writer’s opinion, no kinds other than these two. Since
most of us have neighbours, we might be able to identify with the writer to some
extent even if we don’t think the writer’s classification system is complete enough.

Working with Classification: Choosing a Basis for a Classification

For each ofthe following topics, pick three ways this topic could be classified. You may
find the following example helpful.
Topic: ways to choose a vacation spot
Basis for classification: by price, by its special attraction, by the
accommodations

1. Topic: Cellohones
Basis for classification:

2. Topic: Relatives
Basis for classification:

3. Topic: Snack foods

Basis for classification:

350 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 4. Topic: News sources
Basis for classification:

5. Topic: Medicines
Basis for classification:

Making Distinct Categories

After you have established your basis for classification, you’re ready to come up with
distinct categories. These are ways in which you have chosen to divide each basis for
classification. In other words, they are examples of your basis for classification.

Topic Basis for Classification Distinct Categories

ways to choose a vacation spot price first class
medium price
economy
special attraction the beach
the mountains
the desert
accommodation hotel
motel
cabin

Working with Classification: Making Distinct Categories

First, pick a basis for classifying each ofthe following topics. Then use that basis to
create distinct categories. You can list as many categories as you think the basis for
classification requires—you don't have to stick with three.
Remember to choose your categories in a way that each item you classify will belong
to only one category. For example, ifyou were to classify cars, you would not want to
make sports cars and international cars two of your categories because several kinds of
sports cars are also international cars. You may find the following example helpful.

Topic: wine
Basis for classification: colour
Distinct categories: red, white, rosé
or
Basis for classification: national origin
Distinct categories: French, Australian, Italian, Canadian, Chilean, etc.

1. Clothing stores
Basis for classification:

Distinct categories:

Chapter 31 Classification 351

 2. Television commercials
Basis for classification:

Distinct categories:

3. Olympic sports
Basis for classification:

Distinct categories:

4. Mail
Basis for classification:

Distinct categories:

5. Art forms
Basis for classification:

Distinct categories:

Writing the Classification Paragraph Step by Step

To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-step approach
so that you can work on one aspect of the skill at a time. This approach will ensure
that you are not missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole.
There are other ways to go about writing an effective paragraph, but here is one
logical method you can use to achieve results.

Steps for Writing the Classification Paragraph

* 1. Write a topic sentence, stating the basis of the classification.
. List all the possible distinct categories in your classification.
. 3. Review your list and eliminate any inappropriate distinct categories.
. Put your final list in order.
. Write at least one complete sentence for each ofthe distinct categories you have chosen from
BB
nm
—
WN

yout list.
6. Write a concluding sentence that emphasizes the basis of the classification.
7. Finally, copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.

Writing the Classification Paragraph Step by Step

Starting with the suggested topic below, follow the seven steps outlined in the box
above to work through the writing process for a classification paragraph. (These steps
are similar to those used for the narrative paragraph in Chapter 32; refer to it for a step-
by-step example and a completed sample paragraph.)

552 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Topic: Games
We play games as children. Some ofthese we continue to play as adults, and we
play types of games. We are even accused of“playing games’—mind games—
from time to time. There are board games, mind games, and electronic games.
How many other categories of games can you think of?

Assignment 1 Classification Paragraph

Pick a topic from the list below, and write a paragraph in which you classify
relationships.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given in Assignment 2).

1. Friends
2. Classmates or colleagues at work
3. Romantic partners
4. Pets
5. Teachers
6. Bosses
7. Casual acquaintances

Developing an Essay of Classification

The thesis statement of a classification essay, like the topic sentence of the
classification paragraph, identifies what is being classified. In the essay, it’s
important to devote each support paragraph to a distinct category of the
items you are discussing. For example, in the model essay below, Margo
Fine classifies people into four groups according to what psychiatrist
M. Scott Peck considers an evolution of spirituality. The first support
paragraph (the second paragraph of the essay) deals only with the least
spiritually evolved group (the first group); each subsequent support paragraph
discusses one of the other groups. Because four groups are being classified,
Margo found it appropriate to write a six-paragraph essay as opposed to the
standard five that many professors insist upon, or at least strongly recommend,
especially when students are required to complete the essay in a two-hour
period or less.

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to
all the writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.” For a
review ofthe writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph
and the essay, see Chapter 18, “The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph
or an Essay.

NEL
Chapter 31 Classification 353
 Model Essay: The Evolution of Spirituality
by Margo Fine

Psychiatrist and prolific author M. Scott Peck is probably most famous for
his book The Road Less Traveled, which has appeared on the New York
Times Best Seller’s List for more than 25 years. Peck entitled a sequel to
this book Further Along the Road Less Traveled—a title that is appropriate
if unoriginal. It is in this book, however, that Peck discusses a model
of spiritual evolution into which, he says, every single person can be fit
according to a particular classification system. Peck classifies people into
four groups according to the extent to which they have spiritually evolved:
the first group being the least evolved and the fourth being the most.
The first group is made up of people who are governed by their emotions.
These are the quintessential charmers of the model. How nice they are,
and therefore, how well they treat others, depends on whether they want
something at that particular time. As soon as they get what they want,
they’re gone, or they’re not so nice anymore: narcissism and greed are most
apparent in this group. Their responses to people are generally unpredictable
as these responses depend solely on these people’s emotions. There is little or
no self-examination or self-evaluation here.
The second group up from the bottom can quite aptly be called
the “organizational clingers.” These people are aware of the fact that
left to their own devices, they would be completely governed by their
own emotions like those in the first group. People in the second group
inherently know this would prove disastrous. To avoid such a consequence,
they opt to cling to an organization of some sort, one that promises to take
care of them, one that offers a sense of protection and belonging, but also
discipline by means of a strict code of conduct. This organization prevents
them from depending on their emotions for answers to their important
questions. Organized religion is often the structure to which people in this
group cling. In fact, Peck would put most religious fundamentalists (of any
religion) in this category.
The third group up from the bottom (and therefore, the second from
the top) is the group that seems to react quite vehemently to the second
group (especially to religious fundamentalists). These are the secularists.
These people are often very well educated in the sciences or the arts, and
they are often politically active or motivated. People in this group often
pride themselves on being free thinkers, especially when they compare
themselves to people in the second group. However, they, themselves, depend
on a structure, however, less rigid than those in the second group, for answers
to their important questions. After all, the sciences, especially, are dependent
upon laws and knowledge of the natural world—the world people can only
perceive with any or all of their five senses, the part of existence that we can

354 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 see and hear, etc. Despite their self-declaration of being the free thinkers
of the world, it is often they who dismiss the idea that there is an order to
the universe that is not explainable by science or that cannot be proven by
anything empirical.
It is the fourth group that is most spiritually evolved, says Peck. These
people, like their counterparts in the third group, are often very well
educated. And although they probably call themselves secularists, they can
probably be better described by the word “seekers,” or perhaps “mystics.”
Like Albert Einstein, they may be highly regarded for their achievements
in the secular world, but at the same time, they know there is more to life
than that which we can see and hear or perceive with any of our five senses.
People in the fourth group are very much aware of the importance of
intuition, or an inner voice and the idea that something else is at work in the
universe that cannot be explained by science that makes a great deal of sense
whether we can understand it or not. They are not necessarily quick to call
it God or Allah or a cosmic consciousness, but whatever it is, it is definitely
in the realm of the supernatural. But unlike those in the second group,
people in the fourth group are not satisfied with any one set of holy books or
especially any one set of interpretations that a single religion can offer in its
explanation of a higher power.

Worst Category |————— |

| 1 People Whose Behaviour Is Controlled |
| by Their Emotions |

2 Organizational Clingers
| Sa (ee SS SE eee

3 The Educated

| 4 Seekers of Truth

Best Category _ carn ONE EET

It’s difficult to avoid value judgments (especially in the case of the first
group) in this classification system of spiritual evolution, but Peck notes
that the system is only a model. Most people are, most often, a combination
of two or more of these groups, but he says every individual is usually more
strongly associated with one group as opposed to any other. To which
group does each of your friends/family belong? With which group do you
identify? Life is constantly changing, and our spiritual evolution is no
exception, says Peck. If you don’t think you're in the fourth group, don’t
despair: self-awareness and self-examination are already indicators of
upward movement.

Chapter31 Classification
NEL
 Questions for Analysis
1. What are the topic, basis for classification, and distinct categories in this essay of
classification?
2. Do you agree with Peck’s classification system? Why or why not?
a) . How do you think, based on the above essay, Peck would define spirituality?
4. Does the author of the above essay agree with Peck’s classification system?
What evidence is there to suggest the author does agree? Is there evidence to the
contrary?
5- Do you know people who would clearly fit into one of these categories? Discuss.
6. Do you think it is possible to go backwards on this scale of evolution? Discuss.
7. If you agree with Peck, at least in principle, what do you think it usually takes for
a person to progress (or regress?) from one categoryto another?
8. What role does education seem to play in Peck’s classification? Could an
educated person be found in the least spiritual group? Explain.

Assignment 2 Essay of Classification

Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given in Assignment 1)
and write a classification essay of at least five paragraphs to develop that topic.

Suggested Topics

1. Kinds of beer or wine

2. Types of music
3. Models of Honda (or any other make of car)
4. Types of teachers/professors
5. Types of fashion
6. Kinds of organic foods
. 7. Pick a typical classification system within your field of study

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18:“The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay,’in particular the following sections:
“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”
“Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”
For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and
clearly, you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases,
categorized by their function, found on the inside back cover ofthis book.

356 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 Working Together: Brainstorming for Classification

Brainstorming can be wonderfully helpful when several people put their heads
together. As a class, select a classification topic. Divide into groups and brainstorm
on one of the classification topics given below. After the groups have thought of
everything they can, come together as a class and put your classifications on the
board. Compare and contrast them. What makes one group’s classification more
successful than another’s? Can you use each other’s material?

Suggested Topics for Brainstorming

1.Trend
What is a trend? Classify as many types of trends as you can.
. Friendship
What is friendship? Classify as many types of friendships as you can.
. Causes of car accidents
What causes car accidents? Classify as many types of causes as you can.
. Sports events
What are the kinds of sports events? Classify as many types of sports events as
you can.
. Alcoholic beverages
What are the kinds of alcoholic beverages? Classify as many types of alcoholic
beverages as you can.

Your professor might now ask you to write your own individual paragraph or
essay using this material.

Chapter 31 Classification 357

NEL
 Narration

DEFINITION
Narration is the telling of a story.

Every culture in the world, past and present, has used narration to provide both
entertainment and information for the people of that culture. Since everyone likes a
good story, various forms of narration, such as novels, short stories, soap operas, and
full-length movies, are always popular. It is also a very effective tool in making a point
and helping people to remember it.

The following narrative paragraph, taken from an essay by Al Purdy titled “The Iron
Road,” tells the story of Purdy’s trip westward in 1937, at the height of the Great
Depression, when he was looking for work. In this passage, Purdy has been caught
illegally riding a freight train by the railway police, and he is imprisoned in a caboose.

Model Paragraph: Prison-on-Wheels

When returned to my prison-on-wheels, I felt panic-stricken. I was only
seventeen, and this was the first time I’d ventured far away from home.
I examined the caboose-prison closely, thinking: two years. Why, I’d be
nineteen when I got out, an old man! And of course it was hopeless to think
of escape. Other prisoners had tried without success, and windows were
broken where they’d tried to wrench out the bars. And the door: it was wood,

358 NEL
 locked on the outside with a padlock, opening inward. It was a very springy
door, though. I could squeeze my fingertips between sill and door, one hand
at the top and the other a foot below. That gave me hope, blessed hope, for
the first time. My six-foot-three body was suspended in air by my hands,
doubled up like a coiled spring, and I pulled. The door bent inward until I
could see a couple of daylight inches between door and sill. Then Snap! and
screws fell out of the steel hasp outside. I fell flat on my back.*

Working with Narration: Using Narration to Make a Point

At one time or another, you have met a person who loves to talk on and on without
making any real point. This person is likely to tell you everything that happened in
one day, including every cough and sideways glance. Your reaction to the seemingly
needless and endless supply of details is probably one of fatigue and hope for a quick
getaway. This is not narration at its best! A good story is almost always told to make a
point: it can make us laugh, it can make us understand, or it can change our attitudes.
When Al Purdy tells the story of his escape from the caboose, he is careful to
use only those details that are relevant to his story. For example, the way the door is
constructed is important. Had it not been wooden and springy, he might never have
been able to get his fingertips in and force an opening. He might have had to spend
two years in prison. Then Purdy would have had a different story to tell.
What is Purdy’s point in this paragraph? The excerpt is part of an essay about
Purdy’s experiences during the Depression; this part is specifically about the dangers
of travelling illegally by train during that time, which many thousands of people had
to do, illegal and dangerous as it was. On its surface, then, the story is merely about a
trip, although an unusual one. Being imprisoned in the caboose, however, can also be
seen as a metaphor: the caboose in which Purdy was imprisoned might represent the
life of hopeless despair caused by unemployment that he and thousands of others were
trapped in, and Purdy’s escape could be a symbol of the escape from despair toward
the hope that a trip to the West could bring, with its opportunities for a better life.

Using Narration to Make a Point

Each ofthe following examples is the beginning of a topic sentence for a narrative
paragraph. Complete each sentence by providing a controlling idea that could be the
point for the story.

1. During my trip to the East Coast, |was surprised by ____

2. When |couldn't get a job, | realized

* “The Iron Road” by Al Purdy, Starting from Ameliasburgh, Harbour Publishing, 1995, www.harbourpublishing.com

Chapter 32 Narration 359

 3, After going to the movies every Saturday for many years, |discovered

4. When |arrived at the room where my business class was to meet, |found

5. When my best friend got married, |began to see that

Coherence in Narration: Placing Details in Order

of Time Sequence
Ordering details in a paragraph of narration usually follows a time sequence. That is,
you tell what happened first, then next, then after that, until finally you get to the end
of the story. An event could take place in a matter of minutes or over many years.
In the following paragraph, the story takes place in a single day. The six events
that made the day a disaster are given in the order in which they happened. Although
some stories flash back to the past or forward to the future, most use the natural
chronological order of the events.

Model Paragraph: A Day to Forget

My day was a disaster. First, it had snowed during the night, which meant
I had to shovel before I could leave for work. I was mad that I hadn’t gotten
up earlier. Then I had trouble starting my car, and to make matters worse,
my daughter wasn’t feeling well and said she didn’t think she should go to
school. When I eventually did arrive at the school where I teach, I was twenty
minutes late. Soon I found out the assistant had forgotten to type the exam
I was supposed to give my class that day. I quickly had to make another plan.
By three o'clock, I was looking forward to getting my paycheque. Foolish
man! When I went to pick it up, the man in the office told me that something
had gone wrong with the computers. I would not be able to get my cheque
until Tuesday. Disappointed, I walked down the hill to the parking lot. There
I met my final defeat. In my hurry to park the car in the morning, I had left
my parking lights on. Now my battery was dead. Even an optimist like me
had the right to be discouraged!

Coherence: Placing Details in Order of Time Sequence

Each of the topics below is followed by six supporting details. These supporting details
are listed in random order. Order the events according to time sequence by placing
the appropriate number in the space provided. The first one has been done for you.
Check your answers against those in Appendix B, “Answer Key to Practices”

360 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 The driving test
Z She had her last lesson with Mr. Panakos on Saturday morning.
5 As she ate breakfast Monday morning, Daniela read the driver's
manual one more time because she knew it was her last chance to
review.
1 Daniela's driving test was scheduled for Monday morning.
3 On Sunday afternoon, her father gave her some advice on what to
be careful of when she took her road test.
6 As her mother drove herto the motor vehicle bureau, Daniela tried
to relax and not think about the test.
4 The night before her test, Daniela had phone calls from two friends
who wished her good luck.

Making up my mind
By the time | saw the dean for final approval of the change, | knew
| had made the right decision.
When | registered for my new courses for the next semester, |knew
that |was doing what | should have done all along.
| spent the summer of my second year thinking about the career
| really wanted to follow.
| suppose the experience taught me that you should always make
a change in your life after you have thought it through completely.
When | finally did decide to change majors, my friends acted as
though | had decided to change my citizenship.
When |told my favourite professor about my change of mind, he
was supportive, even though | had begun my major with him.

Writing the Narrative Paragraph Step by Step

To learn a skill with some degree of ease, it is best to follow a step-by-step approach
so that you can work on each step one at a time. This approach will ensure that you
are not missing a crucial point or misunderstanding a part of the whole. There are
other ways to go about writing an effective paragraph, but here is one logical method
you can use to achieve results.

Steps for Writing the Narrative Paragraph

. Study the given topic, and then plan your topic sentence with its controlling idea.
_ List the events that come to mind when you think about the topic you have chosen.
_ Choose the five or six most important events from your list.
. Put your final list in order.
_ Write at least one complete sentence for each of the events you have chosen from your list.
. Write a concluding statement that gives some point to the events of the story.
—
WN. Finally, copy your sentences into standard paragraph form.
NOOB

ae Chapter 32 Narration 361

 Step-by-Step Example of Writing a Narrative Paragraph
The following example starts with a suggested topic and then uses the seven steps
above to work through the writing process.

Topic: Many people decide to buy or lease a car. Often it’s not the type of car
chosen that leads to a story, but the process of acquiring it. Write a narrative
paragraph about buying or leasing a car (or some other expensive process,
such as renting an apartment).

. Write a topic sentence.

Because my classes were at different campuses, and because I lived quite

a distance from the college, I decided to buy a car.

. Make a list of events.

. Tired of waiting for the bus
. Budget—gas, insurance, licence, repairs, financing
. Car loan
. Discussion with Dad
Newspaper ads—dealerships
Classified ads
Friends’ advice
Ge
aS
7
io
aComparison shopping

. Choose the five or six events you believe are the most important for the point of
the story.

a, b,c, e, h

. Make sure the order of your final choices makes sense. Reorder if necessary.

In this case, the original order (a, b, c, e, h) makes sense.

. Using your final list, write at least one sentence for each event you have chosen.
a. I was tired of waiting for the bus on cold and rainy days, and my being late for
class when the bus was late didn’t impress my professors.
b. My budget didn’t allow me to purchase a new car, especially when I
calculated the price of gasoline, insurance, repairs, licensing, and finance
charges.
c. My bank manager was very helpful when it came to arranging a car loan, but
even though the payments were spread out over a long time, it was still an
expensive proposition.
e. I looked in the newspaper for ads from car dealerships, trying to decide
whether I’d be better off buying from a dealer, with at least a minimal
warranty on the car, or from a private seller.
h. Comparison shopping was a long and tedious, but necessary, process.

362 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 6. Write a concluding statement.

I finally bought a car, although it wasn’t what I really wanted because

of my financial situation. At least I don’t have to wait for the bus
anymore.

7+ Put your sentences into standard paragraph form on a separate piece of paper or
in a word-processing file.

Because my classes were at different campuses, and because I lived quite

a distance from the college, I decided to buy a car. I was tired of waiting
for the bus on cold and rainy days, and being late for class when the bus
was late didn’t impress my professors. My budget didn’t allow me to
purchase a new car, especially when I calculated the price of gasoline,
insurance, repairs, licensing, and finance charges. My bank manager
was very helpful when it came to arranging a car loan, but even though
the payments were spread out over a long time, it was still an expensive
proposition. I looked in the newspaper for ads from car dealerships,
trying to decide whether I'd be better off buying from a dealer, with at
least a minimal warranty on the car, or from a private seller. Comparison
shopping was a long and tedious, but necessary, process. I finally bought
a car, although it wasn’t really what I wanted. At least I don’t have to wait
for the bus anymore.

Writing the Narrative Paragraph Step by Step

The following exercise will guide you through the construction of a narrative
paragraph. Start with the suggested topic. Use the seven steps (repeated below) and
the example above to help you work through each stage of the writing process. Refer
to the section above for a completed sample.

Topic: Recount the plot of abook you have read recently or a movie you have
seen within the last few weeks.

1. Write a topic sentence.

2. Make a list of events.
3. Choose the five or six events you believe are the most important for the point of
the story.
4. Make sure the order of your final choices makes sense. Reorder if necessary.
5. Using your final list, write at least one sentence for each event you have
chosen.
6. Write a concluding statement.
7. Put your sentences into standard paragraph form.

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Chapter 32 Narration 363
 On Your Own: Writing Narrative Paragraphs
from Model Paragraphs

Model Paragraph: Better Early Than Late

I hate to be late. So when I began my new job, I was determined to be on time
for my first day. I awoke early, had a leisurely breakfast, and gave myself lots
of time to get through the traffic. I entered my new office building and sat
down at my new desk a good fifteen minutes before starting time. My boss
noticed me, smiled, and came over to my desk. “I’m glad youre early,” she
said. “In fact, you're a week early. You start next Monday.”

Assignment 1 Narrative Paragraph

Write a paragraph telling the story of a day or part of aday in which you faced an
important challenge of some kind. It could be a challenge you faced in school, at
home, or on the job. The paragraph above gives an example.

Suggested Topics

(For more suggested topics, see the list given for Assignment 3.)

1. The day | started a new job

2. Becoming a member of a sports team
3. The morning of my big job interview
4. Facing a large debt
5. Sharing the telephone
6. The day | started driving lessons
7. Losing

Writing the Narrative Essay

Like the narrative paragraph, the narrative essay also tells a story. The essay,
however, gives you the opportunity to write a longer story with more detail.
Although the narrative is the most informal type of essay, you still need to organize
it. Make sure there is some logic to the paragraphing—there should be some sort
of shift with each new paragraph. You might, for example, devote each support
paragraph to a single event or to a different character or idea in your story. Don’t
fall into the trap of starting a new paragraph simply because the old one is getting
too long.

For a review ofthe essay form and its standard format (which applies to all
the writing strategies in this unit), see Chapter 20, “The Essay.” For a review of
the writing process that can be applied to both the paragraph and the essay,
see Chapter 18, "The Four Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay.”

364 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay

 In the following piece, written in 2014, the Toronto-born author reminisces about
her days as a youngster when, through innocent teasing by her elders, she was given
some information that she would never forget. In fact, the few details she remembers
would lead her, later in life, to ask some very important questions about the nature
of history in Canada, the manipulative power of language, and the questions that
challenge the very way we think about ghosts.

Model Essay I: Whispers of the Dead

by Karen Naidoo

I remember being told when I was a little girl that my newly developed
home, located in the area of Bishop Tutu and Lakeshore Boulevards in south
Toronto, was built on top of a graveyard. I thought that relatives told me this
story to scare me. How could the dead exist underneath my feet? I remember
lying on the floor and thinking that if I was perfectly quiet, would I be able to
hear the whispers of the dead?
They might tell me their stories, I thought. Instead, I told them mine.
I told them my dolly’s tales and prayed that my parents would not yell too
loudly, as I feared their shouting would “wake the dead.” I remember telling
my uncle my secret about the dead that lived beneath our feet. He would
scold me every time I played with my dinner, threatening to “call the dead,”
as if the ghosts were meant to be feared and not to build relationships.
The dead were real! In fact, there were whole communities that existed
with deep histories long before my community was built. Having done
some research, I discovered that Fort York Boulevard was once considered
protected land, belonging to the French, only that it did not really belong to
the French. It was First Nations peoples’ land. After the arrival of the French,
it became land that was the heart of the fur trade, of which the British later
claimed ownership. According to official Canadian documents, Fort York
Lakeshore was a part of the “1787 Surrender” or “1787 Purchase.”
Was the land “surrendered,” “purchased,” or “stolen”? Who would write
6

a story about stolen land? No official document would ever publish such
nonsense called the “1787 Theft.” Stolen from whom? The story that I was
once told included such constructions as “occupied,” “imperial,” “developed,”
“surrendered,” but never “stolen.” Many immigrant families, like mine, are
always told that they are needed to fill the abundance of land that Canada has
to offer. They are never told how or why the land was in such abundance.
I wish I could go back to when I was a little girl, wishing that the dead
underneath my floorboards could hear me. I would ask more questions,
questions that focused on healing and telling of their own stories. I would
ask, “How could we better work together?” or “Is it possible to have healing?”
and “How can the ancestors from the earth teach us?” I would lie in silence
and try to listen more carefully. And I would never be fearful of “waking the
dead,” as their stories are a part of mine.
Courtesy of Karen Naidoo

NEL
Chapter 32 Narration 365
 Questions for Analysis
. What do you think is the author’s purpose in telling this story?
. What is the tone of the story? Do you agree with this tone? Why or why not?
. Why has the author written the story in this way (based on the answers to the
questions above)?
. Do these decisions contribute to the quality of the piece?
. What is the relationship between the storyteller and the story?
. How can the narrative be used to teach history?
£
NA. Who usually writes the history books that are studied in school? Who are
the books’ heroes? Who are the villains? Why are the stories of the “villains”
silenced?
. How does this story relate to Indigenous peoples issues such as the Truth and
Reconciliation Commission, residential schools, and cultural genocide?
. In paragraph 1, the little girl says she’s scared that her parents will yell too loudly,
therefore waking the dead. What might this represent if this is a metaphor? In
other words, what else might the author be suggesting here about people’s fears?
10. In paragraph 2, the author draws attention to the difference between the words
surrendered and stolen in referring to land of the First Nations peoples. Does it
matter which word is used? What does this suggest about the use of language?
Do some research on the 1787 Purchase. Look up more than one source. What is
your conclusion based on what you've read?
11. The common perception of ghosts is that they are evil. If we replace ghosts with
the word ancestors, how might this affect the way we regard ghosts? Discuss the
author’s approach to this understanding of ghosts.
12. Compare this piece to the poem “I Lost My Talk” by Rita Joe (in Unit V). Is there
a common message between these two pieces? If so, what is it? If not, what is the
difference?

The following narrative essay was written by a former Centennial College (in Toronto)
student in 2001. As you read, see how Akis follows a logical sequence of events while
keeping the reader in suspense.

Model Essay II: Transparent Silhouette*

by Akis Stylianou

On many lonely nights when I am too far from home to remember where
home is and too beat to care where I lay my head, I have often heard an
echo or seen a reflection that reminded me of a woman I knew. A silhouette
through the window reflects the image of a petite yet shapely figure with long
strands of silken hair falling over her shoulders. The wind whistling through
the trees calls her name, taking me to another place where I can delay my
misery.
* Akis Stylianou, “Transparent Silhouette.” Reprinted by permission of the author.

366 Unit4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 We met early in life as classmates in elementary school. She used to stand
alone in the schoolyard, surrounding herself with the walls she had built.
It was a few years later before I could find the strength to enter those walls
and discover her world. She told me she came from a broken home with an
alcoholic mother and an abusive father. Being the only child, she was often the
target of their frustration and rage, though she constantly dreamt of escaping
her parents. By the time we reached our teens, she was running out of ways to
numb her pain, and, soon after, she left home to live on the streets. Caring as
much as I did, it tore me apart knowing there was nothing I could do to help.
She met the wrong kind of people and got involved with their crowds.
She did many things she would come to regret, but, if the price was fitting,
she was willing to sacrifice herself. My role as her friend was never to judge
the path she had chosen; thus, friendship was never compromised. Most
people considered her character unethical and immoral. However, she
could smile with relief because she had finally escaped from the chains that
weighed her down in the past.
One night, she was working as a dancer in a sleazy downtown bar when
one of her customers began boasting about his position as an adult film
producer. He told her that she had the look he was interested in. Soon after,
she started acting, and her status as an adult film star rocketed. Before her
twenty-fifth birthday, she had a brand-new sports car, a beautiful apartment
in the heart of the city, and a bank account holding her six-figure salary. On
one occasion, we met at a restaurant for dinner. As she entered the room, all
eyes were on her, as if they were in a hypnotic state. The men wanted to be
with her, and the women were jealous of her graceful presence. Behind all
her jewellery, fur coat and expensive clothing, I could still see the frightened,
bruised little girl I cared about. She pretended it didn’t bother her, but
beneath her polished exterior, I could see inside she wanted to explode.
That was the last chance I had to see her before her body was found lying
lifeless in an empty apartment. The police said it was a burglary that went
wrong and resulted in a homicide. She taught me to accept the good with
the bad. After the rain falls, I walk the streets where she once lived, and the
dried-up puddles remind me of her permanent tears.

Questions for Analysis

. What, in your own words, do you think is the writer’s thesis?
. What is the writer’s tone?
. What is the meaning of the essay’s title?
. How do you think the writer feels about his friend?
a . Did the
NN
b&w writer foreshadow the ending of the essay? (In other words, are there
several clues throughout the essay that enable the reader to predict the eventual
death of the writer’s friend?)

NEL
Chapter 32 Narration 367
 6. If your answer to question 5 was yes, why did the writer foreshadow the ending?
If your answer was no, why not?
7. Identify the transitions in the writer’s essay.
8. Speculate on what might have caused the woman’s demise, in spite of what the
police reported.

A model paragraph that answers question 5 above can be found in Chapter 25,
“Argumentation.”

Assignment 2 Rewrite the Conclusion

Rewrite the last paragraph of Akis's essay using your own ideas. Try to stay faithful to
the rest of the narrative essay so that you don't end up contradicting anything that
0 comes before.

Assignment 3 Narrative Essay

Choose a topic from the list below (or, if you prefer, from the list given for Assignment 1)
and write a narrative essay of at least five paragraphs to develop that topic.

Suggested Topics

. My worst classroom experience

. Aparent who would not listen
. My first
. When | tried to convince someone to hire me for a job
. My experience with an aggressive salesperson
. Aday when nothing went right
. Amisunderstanding with a friend
. Trouble at the workplace
. Aday that changed my life
. Amajor disappointment
. How my nervousness made matters worse
. Aperfect evening
. The best summer of my life
. An embarrassing experience
SS
ws
SS. Learning something surprising about myself
Cay
OO)
SS)
CO
Noy
SS
a
OS

While developing your essay, you may want to review Chapter 18:“The Four
Stages of Writing for a Paragraph or an Essay/’in particular the following sections:
“Brainstorming”
“Choosing the Topic and the Controlling Idea”
“Stage Two: Outlining (or Organizing)”
“Stage Three: The Rough Draft”
“Revising and Editing the Rough Draft”

368 Unit 4 Writing Strategies for the Paragraph and Essay NEL
 “Proofreading”
“Checklist for the Final Copy”
For help in connecting your sentences and paragraphs smoothly and
clearly, you may want to consult the list of transitional words and phrases,
categorized by their function, found on the inside back cover of this book.

Working Together: Spontaneous Creativity or Combustion?

1. As a class or in smaller groups, try the old but still-amusing parlour game of
telling a story by creating it on the spot. One person begins with a sentence that
sets the scene. Then the story is continued, sentence by sentence, as each person
takes a turn. (Elect one student to put the sentences on the board.) Continue for
perhaps twenty minutes; then discuss the outcome. In what ways is the narrative
a success? What are its weaknesses? What, potentially, makes it funny?
2. In Assignment 3, you were asked to write a narrative essay. Divide into groups
and share your essay with the other members of your group. Attach a sheet of
paper to each essay, and use it to critique the essay by answering the following
two questions:
a. In your opinion, what is one aspect of the essay that you believe is very
strong? Explain.
b. In your opinion, what is one aspect of the essay that still needs improvement?
Explain.

NEL Chapter 32 Narration 369

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 John Artibello A Grain of Gold &
Leah McLaren Banning Junk Food |
Julia McKinnell How to Get Happily Married
Ken MacQueen ~_ A Matter of Postal Codes
Gary Lipschutz. In the Library _
ee Adrian Lee ‘Excuses, Excuses
Rita Joe | Lost My Talk
James C. Morton A Tough Approach That
MightWork ~ |
Peter Harris Grammar and Your Salary
Akwasi Owusu-Bempah _ Beyond Cannabis
Gary Lamphier The Economic Cost of
Depression
~_Himani Bannerji The OtherFamily —.
Brett Throop. Cyber Misogyny
Leah McLaren Not Just Hollywood —
— Gary Lipschutz What's Missing?
Brian Bethune. FacetoFace
oS Chelsea Vowel - Monster _

et

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 Note on Unit V

Many schools subscribe to the philosophy that reading and writing are inseparable
components in the process of improving writing skills. The readings that follow include
works of nonfiction, fiction, and poetry, all Canadian, and all written by seasoned
writers. These readings, generally, do not represent specific essay models as described
earlier in this book, but as is often the case, a single essay written by a professional
writer can contain a mixture of different modes and styles. The essays, stories, and
poetry in this unit have been selected in the hope that they will inspire meaningful
discussion and well-written student responses.

A Grain of Gold

John Artibello

A symbol is an object that we can see; it is often used by a writer to represent

something we can't see—something that is difficult but important to understand.
Retired college philosophy professor John Artibello shows how a poem rich with
symbolism by the Indian poet Tagore can help us to discover the road to lasting joy.

Have you ever walked along a main street on the way to school or work and noticed
a beggar? Immediately you think, “Oh no. He wants money!” You may think,
“I have my own problems. I’m too broke right now. I'll just hurry by. . .” But then,
you slow down. You notice the humanity in the face of this person, and your heart
begins to soften. You reach into your pocket, stop, and give the person enough to
buy a coffee or a sandwich.
This was my experience recently, and it was remarkable in that, by giving
something away, I was the one who was enriched. I was not prepared for the response
to my small gesture. The beggar smiled a deep and happy smile that shook me out of
my complacency. In exchange for the money, I was repaid with a kind of joy! And this
feeling stayed with me for the whole day.
Joy is not the same as pleasure. The source of joy is deeper than the sources of
pleasure. It is usually the product of giving without expecting anything and then
being surprised and grateful.
Many of us live in two worlds. There is the head, which is practical, always
thinking, always moving forward down the street with our plans and projects. But
then there is the heart. Full of surprises. Our individual plans and projects are
important. But they are not the whole story. The heart is what makes life worth living.
And the heart is more than romantic or sentimental emotions. Think of the word
“courage.” It is rooted in the French word for heart, coeur.
There is a wonderful poem written by the Indian poet Tagore. It is about a beggar.
On a dusty road in rural India, a beggar sits, hoping that someone will notice him and
give him a coin or two. Suddenly a golden carriage appears in the distance. The beggar

Courtesy of John Artibello. Additional writing by the author is available at johnartibello.com.

5/2 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Ozornina/Shutterstock.com

begins to hope. “Who is this great king or god that is coming my way? Perhaps he will
stop and offer me something, maybe a silver coin!” Then, suddenly, the carriage stops
and the king puts out his right hand and says, “What have you to give to me?”
“What a joke!” thinks the beggar. A great king asking a beggar for something!
Nevertheless, he feels obliged to open his tiny pouch where he finds a single grain of
corn, and he gives it to the king. A sense of disappointment and dashed hope sets in.
However, this is not the end of the story. The poem ends as the beggar says, “But how
great my surprise when at the day’s end I emptied my bag on the floor to find a little
grain of gold in the poor heap. I bitterly wept and wished that I had had the heart to
give thee my all.”
This is a story about a great reversal. Things are not what they appear to be. The
beggar symbolizes all of us. We are all in need of a gift, but we all have something to
give.
Each person is a mixture of weakness and strength. Perhaps we give to the
homeless because we realize, “This could be me one day.” The poor or sick person, the
refugee or disabled show their weaknesses and vulnerabilities in their appearances.
It can’t be hidden. But they have something very important to give. Humanity!
My reaction to all of this can’t be scripted or laid out beforehand. I am free to
stop and allow for encounter, or I can choose to walk by. We may not have a lot of
freedom in our everyday lives, but when it comes to my attitudes toward others, Iam
completely free!
10 Jean Vanier, famous, in part, for being the son of former Governor General,
Georges Vanier, was founder of L’Arche, an international organization for people
with intellectual disabilities. He noted,
The way of the heart implies a choice. We can choose to take this path and to
treat people as people and not just as machines. We can see the cook in a hotel simply
as somebody who is paid to cook well or as a person with a heart, who has children,
who might be living painful relationships and who is in need of understanding and
kindness. To treat people as individuals means that we are concerned for them,
that we listen to them, and love them and want them to become more whole, free,
truthful, and responsible.

NEL
John Artibello A Grain of Gold 373
 12 L’Arche is French for the Ark, the boat in the Bible that saved one little family and
all of the animals from the deluge. Vanier discovered the great secret working with
marginalized people: they can provide a way to opening a closed heart. He writes,
“I saw more clearly how those who are weak and in need have a secret power to touch
our hearts and to bring us together in mutual belonging, whatever our culture or
religion.” He often says that when asked why he decided to live in a community with
disabled people, he says, “Because we have fun! We laugh all the time. There is joy!”
13 It is not an impossible challenge to be fully human. It is not a matter of a special
skill or accomplishment. When we realize that a grain of gold comes with every little
act of kindness, we may be tempted, like the beggar was, to give our all.

Glossary
sentimental: affected by emotion instead of reason
symbolizes: represents
deluge: a great flood
marginalized: treated as insignificant

Comprehension Questions
1. In your own words, what is the thesis of Artibello’s essay?

2. What is the difference between pleasure and joy, according to Artibello?

3. Where does the grain of gold in the beggar’s pouch come from? Why do you think
itis not clear?

4. What did the beggar receive? And why was he so surprised?

Questions about Form

1. Why do you think the author begins his essay with a reference to a beggar? How
do most of us perceive a beggar in our own lives? What is Artibello trying to say
about our perception of beggars?

2. Why do you think the author makes reference to Jean Vanier, the son of a former
Canadian governor general?

3. In paragraph 11, the author refers to a cook in a hotel. What is the significance of
this reference?

4, Why does the essay by Artibello end with a final reference to the story by Tagore?

Questions for Discussion

1. The poem by Tagore is rich with symbolism. Select one symbol that you find
enlightening and relate it to the thesis of the article.

2. What is ironic about the story by Tagore?

3. According to Jean Vanier, we need to work at becoming fully human. What

obstacles to this process do we face from society, the media, ourselves, and so on?

374 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

 4. In earlier times, alchemy was attempted as a way to turn cheap metals into gold.
Comment on alchemy as a metaphor for inner transformation.

5. The author mentions in paragraph 7 that“humanity” is something very important

that people are able to offer each other. What do you think the author means by
the term humanity?

6. What does this essay suggest about a person's obsessions with appearances,
status, and material wealth in general?

Writing Ideas
1. Ina paragraph or an essay, explain why is it so difficult to believe that what will
make us happy is giving and not taking.

2. Some people who experience a brush with death reveal that their lives have
changed for the better. What do you think often changes in their lives, and how
might it relate to Artibello’s essay?

3. One of the themes of Tagore’s poem is that service to humanity as opposed

to narcissism is what makes a person truly human. What are three symbols in
Artibello’s references to Tagore’s poem that contribute to this understanding?
What does each symbol represent, and what is the connection between what it
represents and the above theme?

+++
Banning Junk Food

Leah McLaren

Obesity is a problem in Canada—this is indisputable. But how far should the war
against obesity go before it starts to cause new problems? This piece, published in the
Globe and Mail on September 18, 2014, was written by Leah McLaren. It documents an
example of the adverse effects when the war against obesity goes too far.

You may have heard of Keenan Shaw, the 17-year-old student at Winston
Churchill High School in Lethbridge, Alta., who got suspended this week for
selling contraband soda pop on school property. This freckle-faced, glinty-eyed
teenpreneur stocked his locker with a case of Pepsi, a beverage banned under the
Lethbridge School District’s new nutritional guidelines (only diet pop is allowed).
Hawking his wares at an undisclosed markup, Shaw sold out in minutes and
pocketed a tidy profit, only to pour it into more cases of pop, which he promptly sold
the following day.
School administrators didn’t think his enterprising scheme was so sweet. They
gave Shaw a warning, and when he refused to heed it, they suspended him. “I thought
it was a joke. I didn’t know they could suspend me for selling pop,” Shaw complained

Source: Leah Mclaren, “Does banning junk food make it more alluring to kids,” The Globe and Mail (19 September 2014).
Reprinted by permission of the author.

NEL
Leah McLaren Banning Junk Food 375
 to a reporter after the fact. His mother was also indignant, saying that while she
understood the need for rules, suspension seemed a bit harsh. Besides, she liked the
idea of her son “being an entrepreneur.”
Bracketing for a moment the fact that actively praising your child in public for
selling banned substances probably isn’t the wisest parenting strategy, let’s look at
what’s actually going on here. For as long as I can remember, high school cafeterias
were essentially the nutritional equivalent of a red light district—scary buffets
of Tater Tots, gravy fries and quivering Jello bowls, with an obligatory platter of
overripe, untouched fruit at the cash register.
Things are much better now, in the post-Jamie Oliver school-lunch age. For
one thing, schools these days have “nutritional guidelines,” and they actually pay
attention to what kids are eating. With any luck, this means offering students food
that might be good for them, or even culturally interesting, as opposed to providing
them nothing but processed crap.
Look, I’m all for sustainable-fish curry and quinoa in schools (what self-
respecting bourgeois mother wouldn't be?). But I do get unnerved when I hear
about certain foods being “banned” on school property. This is because I grew up in a
house where junk food was anathema. There was a single tin of heart-shaped spelt
ginger snaps my mother kept on top of the fridge and my sister and I were allowed
one each after dinner, but that was basically it. Even our peanut butter was the oily
health food store kind that came from a grinder.
As aresult, I spent most of my late childhood obsessed with sweets. I’d comb the
sofa cushions for spare change and sneak off school property at lunch hour to buy
candy at the corner store. Back at school, I’d lock myself in a bathroom cubicle and
feast on gummy worms and Fizz Whiz until my brain tingled with a glucose rush. My
friend Amy, who had a candy dish on her coffee table (always full!) and pop in her
fridge, thought my obsession was weird. “Why don’t you just come to my house after
school and have a Sprite? We get it in club packs from Costco,” she’d say. And I did.
But for me, that wasn’t the point. Sugar was verboten, so the pleasure was all in the
sneaking.
[This] brings us back to the enterprising young Shaw and his Lethbridge soda-
pop racket. Is it actually possible that Winston Churchill High is to blame for creating
the market that led Shaw to his entrepreneurial heights in the first place? By banning
bad food, do we make it more alluring to our children, not less?

Inc./Shutterstock.com
Rocketclips,

376 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Not necessarily, says my old friend Ceri Marsh, co-author of How to Feed
a Family, a book based on the popular cooking-with-kids blog Sweet Potato
Chronicles. In her view, bans on junk food in schools should be mandatory—
like seatbelts and smoking laws. “It’s no exaggeration to say that when it comes
to the dietary health of North American youth, we are in the middle of an
outright crisis,” she says. “Sodas and garbage food are hugely to blame for that.
Kids can get them, and they will get them. They just shouldn’t be able to get them
at school.”
Part of the problem, Marsh explains, is that we live in a culture that, for half a
century or more, has normalized fast food and candy as regular stuff to eat. “Instead,
we should be teaching our kids to be more discerning, to actually enjoy and be
interested in real food that tastes good—and to see junk as a very, very occasional
treat.”
10 The numbers are well-known but still startling: A third of Canada’s 5- to
17-year-olds are “identified as overweight or obese,” according to Statscan. So
proponents say schools have to be part of the solution. Dr. Yoni Freedhoff, founder
of Ottawa’s Bariatric Medical Institute, told the Globe that research, including a 2010
study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, showed school-based
programs can reduce child obesity rates.
11 I agree in theory, but I wonder about the execution. One major problem with a
junk-food ban is it’s not always clear which treats should be classified as “bad” and
which are okay for our kids to consume. I know plenty of parents who would much
rather see their kids drink an occasional sugary drink than a diet one filled with
artificial sweeteners.
12 What we should be working toward is a culture in which junk food is understood
to be unhealthy, but is neither glorified nor demonized. A world in which enterprising
opportunists like Keenan Shaw simply wouldn't be able to find much of a market.

Glossary
contraband: anything smuggled, imported, or exported illegally
red light district: an area containing sex workers and their clients
bourgeois: of or pertaining to the middle class and its materialistic values and conventional
attitudes-—often derogatory
anathema: a detested thing
enterprising: imaginative or energetic; resourceful

Comprehension Questions
1. What, in your own words, is the thesis of this piece?

2. Why was Keenan Shaw suspended?

3. What does the author mean in paragraph 3 by “the nutritional equivalent of a red
light district”?

4. Does the author think junk food should be banned? Why or why not?

5, What story does the author tell about when she was a child?

Leah McLaren Banning Junk Food 377

NEL
 Questions about Form
1. Why does the author start and end her article with the case of Keenan Shaw? Is
this effective, and why or why not?

2. What is the function ofthe last paragraph in this reading? What would you
suggest as an alternative? ;

Questions for Discussion

1. The author says in the last paragraph that what we should be striving for is “a
world in which enterprising opportunists like Keenan Shaw simply wouldn't be
able to find much of a market.’ What, specifically, would have to change for such a
world to exist?

2. Some parents believe that to be good parents, they have to praise their children
for everything they do, even if it’s bad, such as selling banned substances. What is
behind this approach to raising children? Do you support it or not? Give reasons
for your answer.

3. What might have prevented the kind of extreme behaviour that the author recalls
in paragraph 6?

Writing Ideas
1. Inaparagraph or an essay, explain how a parent should approach the whole issue
of food in the house to achieve a healthy balance. Add examples in support of
your points.

2. |naparagraph or an essay, discuss what schools should do to create an

atmosphere of a healthy balance so that students like Keenan Shaw are not
encouraged to set up shop. Include examples that support your argument.

+++
How to Get Happily Married
Julia McKinnell

With the divorce rate in Canada at 40 percent, young people may wonder what
it takes to increase the chances of marital success. Julia McKinnell of Maclean's
magazine may have the answer. In this piece, published on June 7, 2010, she refers
to a then newly published book co-authored by an experienced marriage counsellor
and a divorce lawyer.

1 If you want a long happy marriage, “your twenties shouldn’t be spent finding a
man; your twenties should be spent finding yourself.” That’s the advice in a new
book for young single women called Last One Down the Aisle Wins: 10 Keys to a
Fabulous Single Life Now and an Even Better Marriage Later.

Julia McKinnell, “How to Get Happily Married.” Reprinted by permission of the author.

378 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 2 The book’s co-authors are Shannon Fox, a marriage psychotherapist, and her
best friend, Celeste Liversidge, a divorce lawyer. They married at 29 and 30, and
write that “for the past 16 years, we have been working with women in crisis, trying
to save their troubled marriages. We listened to women pour their hearts out and
share their stories of disappointment, regret, disillusionment and guilt. We'd often
commiserate about how frustrating it was to enter our clients’ lives after the
damage to their marriages was already done.”
They wondered what could be done to better people’s chances of having a
successful marriage. “Here’s the key,” they concluded. “Don’t marry young. In fact,
don’t get married until you’re 30.” Forget notions of marrying at 25 and pregnant at
28, they write. “Marrying young, before you know yourself and have a solid handle on
your life, is a bad idea.”
Spend your twenties investing in new friendships with women, they suggest.
“Youre finally moving past the unavoidable high school and college drama into a place
of maturity, where you can develop true, solid friendships. Take it from us, you're
going to need your girls!” Don’t think your husband will be your best friend, they say.
“Like it or not, your husband is not going to be able to tend to each and every one of
your emotional needs. It will be disastrous for you to expect him to do so.”
In your twenties, “you have ample time to spend in long, late night conversations
with girlfriends.” Do this, because “it is these friends who will remind you of who you
used to be when you find yourself knee-deep in diapers and Disney character lunch
boxes.”
Before you marry, improve your relationship with money, they also advise. “Your
husband is more likely to lose respect for you if you are a damsel in financial distress,”
they write. “Some women believe the rubbish that they are not as good at math as men
and therefore inherently unable to understand money. What a load of crap! You are not
hopeless in matters of money. You are probably just inexperienced and fearful.”
They cite the statistic that money is one of the top two causes of divorce, second
only to infidelity. “If you fail to take practical steps to take charge of your finances,
you will remain financially blind and put your future marriage at risk.” Also, if you’re
still getting money from your parents, it’s time for that to end, they write.

monkeybusinessimages/thi

Julia McKinnell How to Get Happily Married 379

NEL
 If you have eating issues, sort them out before you marry. The book cites a recent
study in which 80 per cent of women said their negative body image was ruining
their sex life; 67 per cent of men said their wife’s poor body image was a significant
source of frustration for them, and had a negative impact on the happiness of their
relationship. One husband said, “When Michelle and I first started dating, she
seemed super-confident. But just before we got married, I started to see how critical
she was about her appearance. Over the past seven years, I’ve come to understand
that Michelle truly thinks of herself as fat, ugly and unworthy—which is so far from
the truth it’s just plain ridiculous.” He went on, “I’m starting to lose respect for her
as a mature adult. She’s acting like a teenager, always worried about how she looks.”
The authors write, “Your twenties and early thirties is the right time to right this
adversarial relationship with your body.”
The book promises, “If you spend your twenties learning how to be a fabulous,
stable, independent, fulfilled single woman, it will naturally follow that you will
choose a guy to marry who possesses these same wonderful qualities.”
10 “You will lose your taste for the long-on-charisma and short-on-character guys
whom you found yourself drawn to like a moth to a flame. And you will have what it
takes to be a great wife and partner in a lasting and loving marriage.”

Glossary
commiserate: express or feel pity
infidelity: unfaithfulness
adversarial: involving opposition or conflict
charisma: great charm or personal power that can attract and/or influence others

Comprehension Questions
1. What often happens when a woman marries in her twenties, according to the
authors?

2. Instead of looking for a man to marry, what should women in their twenties do to
find friendship? Why?

3. The author mentions that money is one of the two top reasons for divorce,
after unfaithfulness. What should a woman do with respect to the finances in
anticipation ofthis very possible prospect?

4, Why should eating issues be sorted out before a woman gets married, according
to the authors?

5. What is the evidence used in the book to back up some of its claims?

Questions about Form

1. In the last paragraph, the author uses a quotation from the book by Shannon Fox
and Celeste Liversidge. The first sentence includes the phrase “like a moth to a
flame.’ What does this mean, and why is it used in the quotation?

2. What is the key word in the title of this essay? Why is it so important?

380 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Questions for Discussion
1. Many religious organizations encourage people to get married much younger
than the authors cited in this reading do. Speculate as to why.

2. What might the advantages be of getting married in your twenties, despite what
the authors say?

3. Find out what the current divorce rate is in Canada. Then find out at what age
most of those who are getting divorced got married. Before you look anything up,
what do you think you will find? Do your findings support or refute those of the
authors?

Writing Ideas
1. What is the best age at which to get married and why? Discuss your reasons ina
paragraph or an essay. Add examples in support of your points.

2. What might the reasons be for not getting married at all? Discuss these reasons in
a paragraph or an essay. Add examples in support of your points.

3. Inaparagraph or an essay, explain some good reasons for getting married. Add
examples in support of your points.

+++
A Matter of Postal Codes

Ken MacQueen

In the futuristic movie Gattaca, starring Uma Thurman and Ethan Hawke, the likelihood
of an individual’s success was determined by genetic engineering rather than
education or experience.
This sounds scary and far-fetched. But how far-fetched is
it? Some doctors in Canada already predict a person's lifespan, not as determined by
genetic engineering, but by the neighbourhood the individual lives in. In this piece,
published on March 3, 2013, Ken MacQueen of Maclean's magazine takes a look at this
scary scenario, not of the future, but of right now.

What if you could see the future? What if you could see a young pregnant woman
walking down Barton Street in Hamilton’s depressed north end and know her unborn
child had already lost life’s lottery; that his or her fate was predetermined by Mom’s
postal code?
You would know that this mother—in this neighbourhood, and in the bottom
20 per cent of the city’s income earners—is six times less likely than the wealthiest
Hamiltonian to seek first-trimester prenatal care, and more than six times as likely
to be a teenager or to have dropped out of school. You’d know the chances of her baby
being born underweight and needing weeks in neonatal intensive care would also be
higher.

Ken MacQueen, “Where You Live May Decide How Soon You Die”, Maclean's, 3 March 2013. Reproduced by permission
of Maclean’s Magazine.

Ken MacQueen A Matter of Postal Codes 381

NEL
 And the child’s life would get no easier thereafter. If its parents lived an average
life in this neighbourhood, they would die an average Third World death—at 65.5
years of age. If they lived five or six kilometres away, say, on Rice Avenue in the city’s
leafy suburbs, they would live beyond 86 years.
What if you knew one of the world’s most advanced acute-care health facilities
was here in Hamilton, yet was powerless to change the fate of this mother-to-be?
What would you do?
What’s to be done is the challenge facing Hamilton and communities across
Canada. The statistics are among the findings of Code Red, a groundbreaking
analysis of life and death in 135 Hamilton neighbourhoods and census tracts. The
multi-part series was written by Hamilton Spectator investigative reporter Steve
Buist in collaboration with Neil Johnston, an epidemiologist and faculty member
in McMaster University’s department of medicine.
The social determinants of health—income, housing, education, employment,
early childhood development and race—divide us as certainly as any caste system.
Where you sit on the income gradient sets your life course, determining how well
you live and how soon you die. Divide Hamilton into income quintiles, and the
average age of death for the wealthiest 20 per cent is 81.4 years. Death comes years
earlier with each step down the income ladder. By the bottom rung, the poorest 20
per cent of Hamiltonians die at 69—12 years sooner.
Working on Code Red left Johnston feeling outraged at the waste of human
potential, he said in a recent online presentation. He recalled how today’s hardest-hit
inner-city neighbourhoods were thriving communities 40 years ago until the city was
gutted by the decline of well-paying industrial, steel and manufacturing jobs, and by
an exodus to the suburbs. “The chasm between neighbourhoods in the downtown
core and the suburbs in determinants of health and health-service use is perhaps the
single most important reason why Hamilton may never again be able to regain the
relative prosperity it enjoyed 40 years ago,” he said.
The phenomenon isn’t unique to Hamilton. The district health unit in Sudbury,
Ont., is a strong advocate for redefining what makes us healthy, and has compared
the “most deprived” and “least deprived” areas of that city. Among the most deprived:
births to teenage mothers were 205 per cent higher; infant mortality, 139 per cent
higher; and premature death, 86 per cent higher. The health region in Saskatoon also
looked at health disparities in their city. In six low-income neighbourhoods, rates
of infant mortality were 448 per cent higher; teen births, 1,549 per cent higher; and
suicide attempts, 1,458 higher. “Moral reasons aside, it is in our collective interest to
reduce social disparity,” the health region concluded.
Focusing on non-medical social problems is a priority for the Canadian Medical
Association (CMA), which advocates for a sustainable, equitable and more effective
health care system. Health is more affected by socio-economic factors than by
doctors, drugs and hospitals, CMA president Anna Reid, an emergency room doctor
in Yellowknife, said in an interview. “We feel we have a responsibility—a duty,
actually—to start advocating for policies that change people’s life circumstances.”
10 If society must be fixed in order to heal the individual, where does one begin?
Reid concedes doctors don’t have the answers. “We’re not the experts on how to fix

382 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 the housing crisis, [although] we certainly are the experts on seeing the downstream
effects of people who have no housing,” she said. “We don’t know how to fix the
education system, but we know that if you don’t have an education, this is what it’s
going to do to your health.”
11 Studies find the problem is a lack of accountability and inadequate budgeting
for such necessities as housing, education, social services, child care, policing and
other non-health determinants, which rest with different levels of government, each
responsible for one puzzle piece that rarely fits into a complete picture. Experts say
it’s a jurisdictional nightmare and an excuse for inaction.
12 Dennis Raphael, a professor of health policy at Toronto’s York University,
has written extensively on Canada’s missed opportunities and the false economy
of neglecting the web of social determinants. Canadians are among the world’s
leading researchers on issues such as the health effects of poverty on early childhood
development, but the results are more likely to be implemented in Scandinavia and
European countries like France and Germany, where the concept of a welfare state is
not dismissed out of hand, Raphael says.
13 While Canada spends heavily on a health care system designed to fix the sick,
it’s a middling performer among fellow wealthy nations in health outcomes and in
value for money spent, according to a much-ignored 2009 Senate report, A Healthy,
Productive Canada: A Determinant of Health Approach. Fully 75 per cent of factors
influencing health rest outside the health care system, it found. “Passively waiting for
illness and disease to occur and then trying to cope with it through the health care
delivery system is simply not an option.”
14 Sudbury’s is among the health units working to shift government priorities. It
produced a short video, Let’s Start a Conversation about Health . . . and Not Talk
about Health Care, which has been picked up and modified by health authorities
across Canada, says the unit’s Stephanie Lefebvre. As manager of health equity, one
of Lefebvre’s roles is to bridge the divide among a range of services and to ensure that
the potential health impacts of local initiatives are considered in advance.
15 In Hamilton, Code Red has inspired changes including implementation of a
nurse-family partnership program to guide high-risk mothers, and incorporation
of the implications of social determinants into McMaster University curriculums
for health professionals. It influenced McMaster’s decision to build its new
$86-million health campus in the inner city, where it will provide primary care
to an underserved population and give medical students an understanding of the
challenges residents face.
16 Mark Chamberlain, a successful Hamilton businessman and a member of the
city’s roundtable on poverty reduction, knows many people who live in the city’s
blighted neighbourhoods. “They’re fantastic people, but their health outcomes
aren’t determined by how fantastic they are and how much they volunteer,” he
says. “Once they know where a baby is born from a postal code perspective—based
on not changing our scenarios in how we invest—they can pretty much predict
the outcome of that child, when and how they’re going to die.” It’s a glimpse of a
future he can’t accept, and one he’d like to think there is growing determination to
change.

Ken MacQueen A Maiter of Postal Codes 383

NEL
 Glossary
trimester: period of three months
neonatal: pertaining to children immediately after birth
acute: pertaining to diseases of a short duration, but typical severity
epidemiologist: a person who studies the incidence, distribution, and possible control of diseases
determinants: factors that decisively affect the nature or outcome of something
caste: system of Hindu classes in which the members of one class have no contact with the members
of another
gradient: degree of inclination or the rate of ascent or descent
exodus: mass departure of people

Comprehension Questions
1. Inone sentence, and in your own words, what is the thesis that the author is
arguing in the reading?

2. Explain the reasons for differences in life expectancy between the richest and
poorest people in Hamilton.

3. What do studies demonstrate is the cause of the health problems?

4. What are some ofthe initiatives or programs in place that are beginning to solve
the health problems?

Questions about Form

1. What does the author use to get your attention? Is this method effective? Why or
why not?

2. Read paragraph 3, on the prediction of life expectancy. Is this paragraph effective?

Why or why not?

Questions for Discussion

1. Canada has a worldwide reputation for universal health care. Would the author of
this piece agree that this reputation is well deserved? Why or why not?

2. Based on this reading, do you think Canada’s good reputation for health care is
deserved?

Writing Ideas
1. Why is there a big difference in life expectancy between the people who live
in different Canadian neighbourhoods? In an essay or a paragraph, refer to the
reading and your own experience in support of your answer.

2. Choose one “rich” neighbourhood and one “poor” neighbourhood ina

particular town or city. Then write a paragraph or an essay that explains why
it would be obvious that there would be a difference in the health condition
of residents.

384 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 3. Ina paragraph or an essay, explain what steps you think governments should take
to help people who are most at risk of having health issues.

+++
In the Library
Gary Lipschutz

How do people make important choices in life? Should they blindly take advice from
loved ones or someone in a position of authority? Or is there something higher that
deserves our attention even more? One of the few works offiction in this textbook, “In
the Library” was written in 2019 by the textbook’s lead author.

The temperature outside was frigid—a reminder that the official beginning of winter
was two weeks away. It was the second last class of the college semester. The students
in Mr. Cruickshank-Gonzalez’s literature class had just finished handing in their
research papers, one by one. Most of the students chose not to call their professor by
name since it was such a mouthful, so they settled for “Mr. C-G” or the old standard
“Sir.” Before moving onto the next item on the agenda, Mr. C-G was somehow moved
to do something he’d never done before in his entire career, which had now spanned
almost 20 years. He asked his students, “Does anyone want to talk about what they
learned from their project?”
What seemed like a minute of silence passed. To Mr. C-G, the silence was painful.
He thought to himself, “What have I done? Why did I just risk total humiliation?”
He feared that this act of spontaneity was a gigantic failure in the making.
And then, a student raised her hand. It was Megan who always sat in the back
row. She was known to speak up more often than most. She’d made excellent
contributions to class discussions. Mr. C-G couldn’t remember all his students’
names, but he knew Megan’s. Megan began, “I’ve never been in a library before.”
The class was completely silent. No one whispered. No one chuckled. Mr. C-G
wondered if anyone else in his class had ever visited a library. Responding to Megan’s
brave comment, Mr. C-G said in amazement, “Really?” “What was it like?” Megan
answered—this time, without hesitation. “Well, it made me want to do more reading.
“Wow, that’s great!” said Mr. C-G. Megan’s comment was vindication for all of
Mr. C-G’s vehement support for the act of reading he’d given students all semester.
Comments like Megan’s were certainly becoming rarer, Mr. C-G thought. He
assumed this trend of reading less was the direct result of a crushing proliferation
of technology in everybody’s lives. Even Mr. C-G was guilty of reading fewer novels
than he had been accustomed to enjoying in a typical summer.
After thanking Megan for her unexpected but earth-shaking response—one that,
for Mr. C-G, not only justified the entire assignment but also his choice of career—
Mr. C-G said to the class, “You know, Megan’s comments remind me of a movie.”
“Matt Damon played this law student who hardly attended class,” Mr. C-G
continued. “It’s not that the student wasn’t smart,” he said. “Quite the contrary! School
just wasn’t a priority at that point in his life. In fact, he seemed to be more in his element

NEL
Gary Lipschutz = /n the Library 385
 when he was playing poker. Not only was he good at it. He was passionate about it, too.”
“Rounders!” yells a male student in the class. “Yes!” returns Mr. C-G, “You got it!”
7 “Anyway,” continued Mr. C-G, “Martin Landau, an elderly actor, plays the law
student’s professor. They meet in a bar, and Landau’s character treats his student to a
drink. He asks his student if he can tell him a story. Landau’s character tells his student
that he was the son of a rabbi. And his father was the son of a rabbi, and his grandfather,
the son of a rabbi. It was obvious what his family expected him to be, not just because
of the family legacy but because he had the right attributes. Even the community elders
considered his understanding of the holy books to be that of a 40-year-old by the time
he was 12. But by the time he was 13, he said he knew he would never be a rabbi. The
law student was fascinated at this point, leaned in, and said, ‘Why not?’ The teacher
answered, ‘For all I knew of the (holy books), I never saw God there.”
8 “Instead,” said Mr. C-G, “the law professor felt God’s presence in the courtroom
and proceeded to go into law instead. This devastated his family, the law professor told
his student. Damon’s character asked if his family had accepted his decision since he
had become successful in such a ‘respectable profession.’ ‘No,’ said the teacher sadly.
‘They're inconsolable.’ Again, the student leaned in, ‘If you could do it all over again,
would you make the same choices?’ The teacher looked up smiling as if to cue the
viewer that this was what the whole movie was trying to say. ‘What choice?’ If there
was anything he’d learned from his experience, said the teacher, it was that ‘we can’t
run away from who we are. Destiny chooses us.” Mr. C-G added, “Some film critics
believe this was one of the most powerful conversations in the history of film.”
9 Mr. C-G looked back at Megan and said, “I think something important happened
that day for you in the library, Megan.” Megan looked up to make eye contact with
her professor. He continued, “You felt something that I also feel when I’m there.”
Like the law professor in the movie, I, too, never felt the presence of God in the
holy books or the church. I saw him in the classroom and in the library.” Mr. C-G
broadened his gaze to the rest of the class. “Listen to your inner voices, especially
when they speak as loudly as Megan’s did to her that day.”

Shes e

Yakobchuk/Shutters
Olena

386 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 10 Mr. C-G glanced at Megan who was also looking at him. He nodded as if to thank
her for contributing to what was surely a departure from the routine. Before stepping
back and looking at the entire class, he caught a glimpse of her warm smile as she
began to look at her notes.

Glossary
vindication: proving to be right
vehement: forceful
proliferation: rapid increase in numbers
Rounders: The title of a movie, rounders also means people who frequently visit (make the rounds of)
prisons or bars
destiny: fate or the predetermined course of events
inconsolable: that cannot be comforted

Comprehension Questions
1. What new information about herself did Megan discover in the library?

2. Why do you think the Matt Damon character is so interested in why his professor
didn’t become a rabbi? How does this contrast with the notion that parents always
know best?

3. When Megan volunteered her comments in class, the reading says that the class
was silent. What did this suggest to the professor? What do you think is the reason
the class was silent?

Questions about Form

1. Why does the author include a discussion about a movie?

2. Why does the story begin with a comment on winter and end with that of Megan’s
“warm” smile?

3. What are the possible reasons that the author chose to call the professor in the
story Mr. C-G?

Questions for Discussion

1. Mr.C-G mentions how some critics consider the conversation between the
law professor and his student in the movie to be “one of the most powerful
conversations in the history offilm.’Why might it be regarded as such?

2. The story implies how Mr. C-G is seldom spontaneous in the classroom. Is this
typical behaviour on the part of professionals in the workplace? If so, why? What
does the story imply about the importance of spontaneity in general?

3. Inthe film discussed in the story, the law professor encourages his student
to pursue his passion for poker. How would most people react to this
encouragement? Why? Is religion an underlying influence on how most people
would react? Explain.

Gary Lipschutz = /n the Library 387

NEL
 4. Related to the last question, is it typical for a professor to discourage someone
from pursuing an education in the field in which he teaches? What does this
suggest about the professor?

Writing Ideas
1, Inaparagraph or an essay, discuss three types of decisions that a person might have
to make in life that might require the kind of discernment discussed in this story,

2. Inthe movie discussed in the story, the law professor tells his student that we
don’t make the big choices if they're the right choices; “destiny chooses us.’What
are three things that might make it difficult to “go with destiny” in our lives?

3. What might be three things that Megan takes away from this discussion?

+¢o+

Excuses, Excuses

Adrian Lee

Student excuses are getting more sophisticated, but so are the investigative tactics of
teachers. Adrian Lee is the digital editor of Maclean’s magazine; he also prides himself
on being its resident hip hop expert. In this article, Lee explores the world of the
excuses used today and the proof students might need to back them up.

It was his first month teaching at Northern Illinois University, and the last thing
Christopher Schneider expected to see in his classroom was a topless student.
A young woman had missed a class and, afterward, in front of a line of people
waiting to talk to him, pulled out a picture, which showed one healthy breast and
one covered with a bloody bandage. “She says, ‘I had a lump removed,” recalls the
sociology professor, who now teaches at the University of British Columbia (UBC).
“I put my hands up over the image. I say, “This is entirely not necessary; a doctor’s
note would have been just fine.”
It’s a cringe-inducing tale, but it’s evidence of a truism: Student excuses are
evolving. And if you miss a class, need an extension on a paper or have to rewrite an
exam, you'd better have a good one. And some proof.
The days of “the dog ate my homework” are well behind us and, as tuition fees
skyrocket and the job market tightens, the stakes have never been higher for busy
students desperate to juggle looming deadlines. The digital age both gives and
takes away: One website boasts it was “voted the Internet’s most reliable (source
of) fake doctors’ excuse notes,” while instructors trying to ensure academic honesty
are verifying car accidents and crimes, not to mention searching death notices and
obituaries. It’s class warfare—and the professors appear to be winning.
“Tt’s a terrible era [in which] to lie to your professor, because so much of it can be
double-checked,” said Marina Adshade, a professor of economics at UBC. One of her
students wanted to skip an exam because his father was in the hospital. “So I said,

Adrian Lee, “How Student Excuses are Evolving”, Maclean’s, 7 February 2014. Reproduced by permission of Maclean’s
Magazine.

388 Unit5 Major Readings

 “Some hacker ‘from an obscure university in China ate my homework.” The
Collection/The
Yorker
Lorenz/
New
Bank
Cartoon
Lee

‘That’s fine, all you need to do is take a photograph of your father’s hospital bracelet,
email it to me, and I'll make the adjustments necessary for you.’ And, of course,
I never hear from the student again.”
The death of a loved one has become such a facile excuse that the “dead-
grandmother syndrome’ is an inside joke for many instructors. In 1990, a satirical
essay in the Connecticut Review suggested that exams were causing so many
grandmothers to die that it was presaging downfall of American society,” and
suggested the solution was for universities to accept only orphans. A 2002 follow-up
from Rutgers University said its solution—the threat of a difficult makeup essay—
“saved the lives of four out of every five grandmothers who would typically die during
the week leading up to a major exam.”
McGill political science professor Rex Brynen has taught an estimated 17,000
students in his career, and no one has ever complained about being asked for a death
notice. The documentation policy helps sift the scofflaws from the sufferers: Brynen
remembers asking for proof a grandparent had died in the Middle East, but the
student said his culture did not employ death notices. Unfortunately for the student,
it happened to be a culture that Brynen has spent plenty of time studying and writing
about. “I told him, ‘Not only do you have death notices, but you have really big death
notices,” he says. “He backed off the excuse and there was no further attempt. That
relative never appeared again.”
While wariness is key, so, too, is empathy. Serious issues such as sexual assault
and mental illness can cause students to clam up or be vague in their explanations,
which can come across as deception. Brynen’s advice—to be a good and willing
listener—is especially urgent. A 2013 survey of 30,000 students by the Canadian
Organization of University and College Health found that, in the January to April
semester, nearly 90 per cent of students reported feeling overwhelmed by their
workloads. More than nine per cent had seriously considered suicide in the past year.
“For every lame excuse | find, there are two or three actually really good excuses that
we have to remain sensitive to,” said Brynen.

NEL
Adrian Lee Excuses, Excuses 389
 9 Frances Woolley, an economics professor at Carleton University, recently explored
the so-called “dead-grandmother syndrome” and found that demographics could
explain it.
10 According to Statistics Canada, an 80-year-old grandmother would have a 4.7
per cent chance of dying in any given year. But, Woolley noted, a class of 100 students
can have as many as 400 grandparents. “The odds of all of the grandparents making
it through are actually fairly low.” She also points out that students are more likely to
report a loss when something is on the line. “People will typically only report what’s
going on in their personal lives on a need-to-know basis.”
11 But changing demographics mean the dead-grandparent syndrome is
morphing into the dead-parent syndrome, says UBC’s Adshade. When four
students missed time last year because of their parents’ failing health, she looked
at Statscan’s 2011 General Social Survey, which monitors changes in the living
conditions and well-being of Canadians. It showed that 25 per cent of fathers and
12 per cent of mothers in Canada would be in their 60s by the time their children
completed their undergraduate education, an increase from 16 and 6.5 per cent,
respectively, last time the survey was done in 1990.
12 “That whole generation grew up, they postponed getting married, they postponed
having children, they focused on their own education and their own careers,” she
said. “Their kids are now dealing with older parents at earlier stages in their lives.”
And parents are a much bigger responsibility than grandparents. “Let’s say your
grandfather is having an operation; you wouldn’t expect all the grandchildren to turn
up and sit at his bedside. But when it’s a parent, you do.”
13 Honesty is still always the best policy. In fact, extra time doesn’t often produce
a significantly better result, Adshade says. But if you are going to sneak one by the
prof? Well, even they will admit they're only human.
14 “Tm a dog lover, and I know that if something happened to my little guy, I’d be
very cut up,” said Woolley. “That’s a hard one, whether or not it’s a legitimate one
because it does hurt.”

Glossary
facile: easily obtained, but not so highly valued
presaging: warning that something unpleasant is about to happen
scofflaws: people who do not comply with laws that are difficult to enforce
morphing: transforming

Comprehension Questions
1. Who appears to be winning the war when it comes to student excuses, according
to Adrian Lee, and why?

2. How did Rutgers University solve the problem of the dead-grandmother syndrome?

3. Why is the expectation of documentation a good antidote to lame excuses? Give

an example of how it worked for McGill political science professor Rex Brynen.

4, What is the thing that Brynen says professors should remember in spite ofall the
lame excuses?

390 Unit5 Major Readings

 Questions about Form
1. Why does Lee start the reading with an anecdote?

2. Why did he use the anecdote about the young woman in particular?

3. Besides the anecdotes, what other evidence is used in this essay? Why?

Questions for Discussion

1. ACBC documentary on cheating suggested that students care less about
academic honesty these days and more about “getting the grade,” no matter what
it takes. Do you agree that this is the trend? What is your evidence for your answer?
What would the implications of such a trend be?

2. Some students argue that doctors’ notes are expensive. Is this a valid complaint?
Discuss.

3. Many faculty report that, along with more imaginative student excuses for missed
assignments, there are also more “sketchy” doctors’ notes. These notes might be
real in that they are really issued by doctors; on the other hand, there are more
and more notes on which doctors write content such as, “This patient visited my
office today and should miss school for a few days.” Discuss.

Writing Ideas
1. Ina paragraph or an essay, explain why students might use a false excuse for
missing an assignment. Use examples in support of your points.

2. In aparagraph or an essay, explain why honesty might be better than using a false
excuse for missing an assignment.

3. Inaparagraph or an essay, state whether you think it is ethical for doctors to write
and charge for notes in which they basically say what the students (their patients)
want them to.

+++
| Lost My Talk

Rita Joe

The writings of Rita Joe, a Mi’kmaq, are about First Nations people. She was born on
a reservation in Whycocomagh, on Cape Breton Island in Nova Scotia. At the age of
12, after both her parents had died, she requested that she be placed in an Indian
residential school in Shubenacadie, Nova Scotia. An acclaimed poet, Rita Joe published
several collections, including Lnu and Indians We're Called (1991). She became a
member of the Order of Canada in 1990 and was active in Indigenous issues until her
death in 2007. This poem was written in 1989.

Rita Joe, “I Lost My Talk.” From SONG OF ESKASONI. Reprinted with permission.

RitaJoe /Lost My Talk 391

NEL
 E Smith/Alamy
©
Don

I lost my talk
The talk you took away.
When I was a little girl
At Shubenacadie school.

You snatched it away:

I speak like you
I think like you
I create like you
The scrambled ballad, about my word.

Two ways I talk

Both ways I say,
Your way is more powerful.
So gently I offer my hand and ask,

Let me find my talk

So I can teach you about me.

Glossary
Shubenacadie: a town in Nova Scotia
ballad: a popular song, generally of a personal or political nature

Comprehension Questions
1. What do you think Rita Joe is saying in the first stanza of her poem?

2. What does “scrambled ballad” mean? Might it have more than one meaning? If so,
explain what they are.

3. What does the author mean by the word word at the end of the second stanza
(verse)?

Questions about Form

1. What is the difference in tone between the first line of the poem and the very last
line? How might this contribute to an interpretation of the poem’s theme?

2. What might be the reason for the repetition in the second stanza?

392 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 3. How would you describe the type of language being used here? Does it contribute
to an overall deliberate effect? Why or why not?

Questions for Discussion

1. What do you know of Canadian history that relates to this poem? What might have
been the reasons the school authorities did what they did?

2. Does the knowledge that Rita Joe placed herself in the school at Shubenacadie
affect your interpretation of her poem? Why or why not?

Writing Ideas
1. Dosome research on what Canadian school authorities did to assimilate
Aboriginal Canadians, and take a position either for or against this action in a
paragraph or an essay.

2. Inacause and effect paragraph or essay, discuss the repercussions of a person's

voice being denied. You may want to talk more specifically of a child whose voice
is not taken seriously, or of women whose voice is silenced in certain cultures, or of
North American Blacks who have been murdered, marginalized or discriminated
against ever since the days of slavery, and so on.

3. Besides the obvious difference between this work by Rita Joe and the piece by
Chelsea Vowel (the last reading in the Unit), which is that they are two different
genres, are there any other differences? In a paragraph or an essay, compare or
contrast the two works.

+++
A Tough Approach That Might Work

James C. Morton

A lawyer, a legal educator, and an author, James C. Morton has written more than
twenty-five legal texts, as well as numerous papers and articles. He is past president
of the Ontario Bar Association and a long-time human rights and community
activist. He’s served as a governor for the Canadian International Peace Project,
counsel for the Canadian Somali Congress, and legal counsel (pro bono) for Artists
Against Racism, a registered charity fighting racial and religious prejudice. In this
piece, published in the Ottawa Citizen on October 13, 2008, Morton argues that
tough punishment is not the solution to the common problem ofchronic offences in
the area of petty theft.

In a season of tough talk on crime, I would like to propose a challenge to our political
leaders. In this country, one group of criminals commits a disproportionate number of
crimes that we could easily reduce with more coercive sentencing. However, our usual
form of coercion—imprisonment—doesn'’t work for them. They need a different
kind of sentence. But to make that happen—and to significantly reduce the number of

Source: James Morton, “A Tough Approach that Might Work,” The Ottawa Citizen (13 October 2008). Reprinted by
permission of the author.

NEL
James C.Morton A Jough Approach That Might Work 393
 crimes they commit—would require a degree of will and wisdom that our legislators
can’t seem to muster.
The legal system refers to these men—they are almost all men—as chronic
offenders. What everyone knows—but the justice system doesn’t acknowledge—is
that they are also drug addicts, hooked on heroin or crack cocaine. They steal not for
gain but to support their addiction, to pay for their next fix.
This has nothing to do with getting high. For an addict, the point is to avoid the
effects of withdrawal—in the case of heroin, including cramps and muscle spasms,
fever, cold sweats and goose bumps (hence the phrase “cold turkey”), insomnia,
vomiting, diarrhea and a condition called “itchy blood,” which can cause compulsive
scratching so severe that it leads to open sores. For addicts, drug use is not a lifestyle
choice that’s easy to change. Many have been addicted for their entire adult lives,
and as a result have spent half their lives behind bars, serving dozens of sentences for
minor crimes. These are the “revolving door” criminals that some critics point to—
arrested, tried, sentenced to a few weeks or months, then dumped back out on the
street, only to be arrested, tried and convicted again a few weeks later.
Canada has hundreds of criminals like that, mainly in the larger cities. Vancouver
alone recently identified 379. According to a report by the Vancouver Police
Department, the vast majority were addicted to drugs or alcohol. Many also suffer
from a mental disorder, generally untreated. In the five years between 2001 and
2006, Vancouver’s few hundred chronic offenders, as a group, were responsible for
26,755 police contacts—more than 5,000 contacts per year, 14 a day. The costs are
staggering. Arrests, prosecutions and incarcerations end up costing some $20,000
per criminal per month—per month! There has to be a better way.
Punishment alone is not it, though, for a couple of reasons. For one, the idea of
punishing criminals is based at least partly on the concept of specific deterrence.
You steal, we lock you up. Applied most strongly to property crimes—which is what
these offenders mainly commit—specific deterrence assumes that the criminal is
a rational actor who will consider: Is it worth it? And in fact, specific deterrence
often works; many offenders really do stop committing crimes after fairly short jail
sentences. But not addicts.

iQoncept/Shutterstock
©

394 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 The problem is the presumption of a rational actor. That is exactly what we do
not have with drug addicts, who do not—usually cannot—stop to consider the likely
punishment for a crime they are about to commit. They see only the escape from the
more immediate and dire punishments of drug deprivation. By comparison, the
threat of being caught and thrown in jail is nothing.
As well, because chronic offenders tend to commit minor crimes and draw short
sentences—say, 30 to 90 days for theft—their lives shift constantly between jail and
the streets.
We could use longer sentences to “warehouse” chronic offenders—the American
“three strikes and you're out” approach. But long-term imprisonment would be a very
high-cost way to deal with what is really a public health issue.
And there’s the erwx of the problem. The criminal justice system is not designed to
treat addicts. While prisons do provide some drug treatment, it is almost always short-
term and underfunded. And these offenders, with their short sentences, rarely get
even that. The voluntary drug treatment programs offered by the public health system
seldom work for them either, because kicking an addiction is extremely unpleasant and
requires willpower and usually some money, neither of which street addicts have.
10 Clearly, Canadians need more protection from chronic offenders than we are now
getting. While their crimes may be petty, their victims number in the thousands. And
those victims are left not only with a monetary loss, but also with a lingering fear that
affects their sense of personal safety and their trust in the criminal justice system. But
blaming that system, as many do, misses the point—which is our failure as a society
to deal with severe drug and alcohol addiction.
11 With chronic offenders, the first step is to recognize that what we have is an issue
of both criminal law and public health. The next step is to require addicted offenders
to undergo serious, long-term drug treatment.
12 Canada’s experience with mandatory drug treatment is quite limited. In the
late 1970s, British Columbia passed legislation under which heroin addicts could be
compelled to take part in an intensive government-funded treatment program. The
Supreme Court of Canada upheld the statute but the provincial legislature ultimately
repealed it, concerned about civil liberties. (This was the time of One Flew Over the
Cuckoo’s Nest.)
13 These days, Vancouver’s Downtown Community Court tackles street crime by
taking guilty pleas and moving the accused into treatment as part of their sentencing,
but only with their consent, which misses the point.
14 We’re less constrained with juvenile offenders. Since 1996, Alberta law has
required minors with an apparent alcohol or drug addiction to participate, with or
without their consent, in an assessment and treatment program. Saskatchewan and
Manitoba have similar legislation and even allow parents of drug-addicted children to
ask a court to require treatment, whether or not the child is in trouble with the law.
15 Although the research is scant, mandatory treatment does appear to have about
the same success rate as voluntary treatment. A 1970s American study looked at
the effectiveness of methadone maintenance treatment for those who entered the
program under high, moderate or no coercion and found no significant difference in
outcomes for the three groups.

NEL
James C. Morton A Jough Approach That Might Work 395
 16 Given the costs of incarceration—not counting the costs to future victims—paying
for mandatory drug treatment for them hardly seems an issue, even if it only works
some of the time. As for whether mandatory treatment is somehow inhumane, how
humane is it to sentence these addicts to punishments we know don’t work and then
dump them back on the street no better than before?
17 More than costs or moral qualms, though, the main obstacle to mandatory drug
treatment for addicted offenders is probably institutional. Both the justice system
and the health system have entrenched groups with turf to protect: prisons, parole
boards, hospitals. Collaboration would mean breaching walls; even with good
intentions, a mandatory treatment program would raise irksome issues such as which
ministry pays, health or justice, and which is responsible. But don’t we elect our
leaders to solve such problems?
18 The question is not whether we will be soft on crime but whether we can be smart
about crime. Crime in the real world is not an exciting TV show. Crime has real costs
and victims. Politics aside, Canadians generally—and victims of crime specifically—
deserve evidence-based criminal justice policies that actually reduce crime. Our
challenge is to make the tough choices that move beyond “tough on crime” rhetoric
and produce real change.

Glossary
coercion: the act of persuading or restraining a person by force
chronic: persisting for along time
deterrence: discouragement of someone from doing something
deprivation: the denial of something considered to be a necessity
crux: the decisive or most important point at issue
rhetoric: language designed to persuade or impress (often with an implication of insincerity or
exaggeration)

Comprehension Questions
1. In your own words, and in one sentence, what is the author’s main opinion in this
article?

2. Describe thoroughly what Morton refers to as the “revolving door” criminal

discussed in the article.

3. What, specifically, is the cost of dealing with the type of criminal discussed in this
article?

4, What does Morton mean by the “rational actor” when it comes to offenders? How
does this contrast with the “chronic” offender?

5. What does the author mean by “regular punishment,’

and why does it not work for
the type of criminal discussed in this article?

6. What does the author suggest as a solution for dealing with the particular
offender discussed in his article?

7. What practical steps, according to the author, need to be taken to implement his
suggested solution?

396 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Questions about Form
1. Morton uses first-person references (/, we, and our) throughout his article. Is this an
effective strategy or not? Explain.

2. Inthe first sentence of the last paragraph, Morton juxtaposes the cliché “soft on
crime” with his term “smart about crime.”
How effective is this juxtaposition? Explain.

Questions for Discussion

1. Mental health problems have often been stigmatized within society. Do you think
that if the judicial system begins to focus more on mental health, we will see a
reduction of petty crime, as the author suggests?

2. Inthe last paragraph, Morton writes, “Our challenge is to make the tough choices
that move beyond ‘tough on crime’ rhetoric and produce real change.” What do
you think the author means by this? Do you agree or disagree? Explain.

3. Morton describes the general challenges to the solution he suggests as relating

to lack of public funding and to logistical complications given the short sentences
usually served by this class of offenders. In your opinion, are these challenges
insurmountable? Explain.

Writing Ideas
1. If itis true that most thefts are committed by drug addicts who are avoiding
withdrawal, why do you think society is so slow to first discover, and then effectively
deal with, the problem? Write a paragraph or an essay outlining your reasons.

2. Considering the author's argument as to what the problem is, write a paragraph or
an essay in which you point out other solutions (or parts of the solution) that the
author has not discussed.

3. To what extent does the problem of addiction relate to crimes committed across
the country other than the kind of petty theft described here for which police are
constantly arresting offenders? Would the same solution that Morton suggests be
relevant to those crimes? Explain in a paragraph or an essay.

+++
Grammar and Your Salary

Peter Harris

It’s no secret that few students look forward to learning grammar. But what many
might not want to hear is the close relationship some say exists between a person's
grammar and career success. Peter Harris is the editor-in-chief of Workopolis.com.
What he says in this piece, published on March 19, 2013, might cause students to want
to pay more attention to their language skills.

Peter Harris, “How Your Grammar Skills Affect Your Salary.” Reprinted by permission of Workopolis.

NEL
Peter Harris }§©Gramrmarand Your Salary 397
 More
Money

2020 2022 2024 2026 2028 2030

Better Grammar

1 Want to get ahead at work? Take a little extra time to formulate grammatically
correct sentences and carefully proofread everything you write. How important are
the minor details of word usage and punctuation? A report put out by Grammarly
earlier this month shows that people who use proper grammar advance further and
faster in their careers.
2 For this study, they analysed the LinkedIn profiles of native English speaking
professionals, and compared their language skills with their career trajectories over a
ten-year period. Their findings are telling. People with poor grammar skills don’t rise
to the top. Those who had not reached a director-level position in the first ten years
of their working lives made 2.5 times as many grammatical mistakes as people who
earned director-level titles or higher. The professionals who made fewer grammatical
mistakes were promoted more often and changed jobs more frequently than did their
more error-prone contemporaries.
3 Beyond just getting promoted and moving up the ladder, using proper grammar
can be critical to getting hired at all. One of the easiest ways to sink your candidacy
for a position is to have typos or spelling mistakes in your resume. Hiring managers
interpret such errors as signs of carelessness, laziness, or a lack of language skills on
the job seeker’s part. If you can’t take the time to produce an error-free document
when youre trying to get hired in the first place, how will you perform on the job?
4 Kyle Wiens, CEO of iFixit, recently wrote in the Harvard Business Review that
he flat out won't hire someone who uses poor grammar—even for a programming
role that doesn’t require writing for the public. He explains, “On the face of it, my zero
tolerance approach to grammar errors might seem a little unfair. After all, grammar
has nothing to do with job performance, or creativity, or intelligence, right? Wrong.
If it takes someone more than twenty years to notice how to properly use ‘it’s,’ then
that’s not a learning curve I’m comfortable with.”
5 There are some fairly obvious reasons why the proper use of grammar would be
associated with greater career success. First off, taking the time to formulate proper
sentences and carefully proofread your work shows an attention to detail. People who
care about producing quality, error-free work generally get promoted above people
who don’t. Having proper grammar skills can often be an indication that someone

398 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 has a greater level of education, which in many fields still coincides with higher
positions.
When I mentioned that I was writing about this, my coworker Christina,
a professional editor, became quite passionate about the proper use of “your”
(belonging to you) and “you're “(you are.) Apparently she is “driven batty” when
her friends who are native English speakers get this one wrong. With style guides,
dictionaries and numerous grammar-related websites readily available online, there’s
really no excuse anymore for some of the classic grammatical errors. If you don’t
know whether to use “affect” or “effect,” “who” or “whom,” or “fewer” or “less,” just
look it up.

Glossary
Grammarly: a company that sells computer products that help people with their grammar
contemporaries: people who live at the same time
candidacy: position or status as a candidate (for a job position, as in the case of this reading)
coincides: occurs at the same time

Comprehension Questions
1. What evidence is used in this reading to support the claims made by the author?

2. According to the author, what does a poorly written resumé suggest about future
performance?

3. What does Kyle Wiens, CEO of iFixit, say is the typical argument against the proper
use of grammar? What is his response to this argument?

4. Why is the ability to pay attention to detail important? What is the relationship
between this quality and grammar?

5. What are some “common goofs” that the author says make people look silly?

Questions about Form

1. Why does the author begin with a question? Why does he begin with the question
that he does?

2. Whyis the use of Linkedin profiles mentioned so early (paragraph 2) in the reading?

3. Isthe title of the reading a good one? Why or why not?

4. The source for many of the facts in this reading is Forbes magazine. How might
knowing this affect the targeted readership of Canadian Writer's Workplace?

5. Isincluding examples of “grammar goofs”at the end of this reading effective? Why
or why not?

Questions for Discussion

1. Most students seem less than enthusiastic about having to learn grammar. Why is
this the case, considering the paramount role it plays, according to the reading, in
career success?

NEL
Peter Harris }§=Grammnarand Your Salary 399
 2. Many students who come through the same school system have very different
grammar skill sets. What accounts for some of those differences?

3. How effective are online resources when it comes to applying grammar rules to
one's writing?

Writing Ideas
1. Whatis the best way to learn better grammar outside the classroom? In a paragraph
or an essay, answer this question and make at least one reference to the reading.

2. Inaparagraph or an essay, explain how you might change the mind of someone
whose grammar is poor, but who thinks it doesn’t matter since English is their only
language and they speak and write it well enough to get by.

3. Write a paragraph or an essay about what any English department could and should
do to encourage students to do more work on their language skills outside class.

4, What are the causes of poor grammar among young people today? Make at least
one reference to the reading in a paragraph or an essay.

+++
Beyond Cannabis

Akwasi Owusu-Bempah

Now that the recreational use of marijuana is legal in Canada, what’s next? Sociology
professor at the University of Toronto Akwasi Owusu-Bempah believes Canada
should become the second country in the world to do what many people consider
to be outrageous despite how far we've come already. It’s time to legalize all drugs,
according to the author.

Why are most recreational drugs illegal? If the rationale for the war on drugs is to
decrease drug use, it hasn’t worked. It hasn’t stopped the production or importation
of drugs. Quite the opposite: there are billions of dollars to be made from the illegal
drug trade. This often comes with serious violence—sometimes in Canada, but more
often in Mexico and other source countries in South America and Central America.
The United States, in particular, has been waging a war on drugs for several
decades, and it’s still one of the world’s largest consumers of cocaine. This should tell
us that we’re not going to reduce drug use through the enforcement of laws.
Some people use drugs because they enjoy doing so. Many Canadians already
consume a number of drugs each week: alcohol, caffeine and nicotine are the most
common. People also use harder drugs recreationally, and of course, some of these
people develop substance use and abuse problems. But arresting and incarcerating
them is not going to help them deal with the issues that are leading them to use or
abuse harder drugs in the first place. This is why a public health approach to all drugs,
where we're striving for harm reduction rather than elimination of use, makes the
most sense.

400 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 For most of human history, drugs haven't been illegal. It’s only in the last 110 years
that we've had drug prohibition in Canada. Even so, my neighbours in downtown
Toronto often express surprise that cannabis was legalized just recently. Many think it’s
been legal, or at least decriminalized, for some time. They think this because of what
they look like and where they live: they don’t have to worry about being arrested.
As a criminologist, I’m particularly interested in how Black males perceive and
experience the police. And you can’t do research around race and policing without
focusing on drugs. The war on drugs drives many of the inequalities we see in our
justice system.
We know that Canadians use drugs at similar rates across racial groups. But
in practice, drug laws are used to intrude into the lives of certain segments of the
population. In Toronto and in many other cities, the unequal enforcement of drug
laws has profoundly harmed the individuals that are targeted, their families and their
communities. A higher proportion of members of these communities have criminal
records for drug possession that impede their ability to finish their education, to gain
meaningful employment, to find housing and to travel.
It’s this profound injustice that has led me to believe that the social harms
caused by drug prohibition far outweigh the potential health harms of legalizing and
regulating access to drugs.
One of the imbalances in how drug laws are applied that we’ve seen with
cannabis comes with the exercise of police discretion. Because some police officers
viewed cannabis possession as a relatively minor crime, they’d confiscate the drug
without making an arrest. But that’s not true of everyone the police have caught.
The data show that positive police discretion has not been exercised when it
comes to racialized people. The difference is in who gets stopped and searched,
who’s found in possession and who ends up being arrested and convicted. Black
and Indigenous people in Canada are disproportionately arrested for cannabis
possession.
We've spent billions of dollars to prosecute people for the possession of small
amounts of drugs. We're doing our whole country a disservice. We're locking away
people’s talents and potential because we criminalize drug use.
10 Consider a society in which all drugs are legal—a society in which people can buy
a small quantity through a government-approved pharmacy at fair prices and know
exactly what they’re getting (unlike on the black market). If they wished, people could
take the drug under the supervision of a health-care professional at an injection site
or similar facility, greatly reducing the risk of overdose. Under these conditions,
the black market for drugs—and much of the associated violence, social harm and
health risks—could be virtually eliminated. Opponents cite fears that drug use would
soar. But the evidence from Portugal, the only jurisdiction in the world that has
decriminalized all drugs, indicates the opposite: problematic use would actually
decline, as would the negative consequences associated with criminalization.

NEL
Akwasi Owusu-Bempah — Beyond Cannabis 401
 Akwasi
of
Courtesy
Owusu-Bempah

Portugal

11 Governments could use a percentage of sales revenues for research and services
around addictions and mental health. At the local level, the city could use police
arrest data to identify neighbourhoods that have been overpoliced with respect to
drugs, and direct a portion of the tax revenue to the most criminalized communities.
City councillors and members of the public could engage in discussions about how
best to use these funds to meet the needs of each jurisdiction. The money might be
directed to after-school programs, skills training or community health centres.
12 Of course, I have concerns about how drug legalization would be implemented.
In Canada, one is legally permitted to possess 30 grams of cannabis. The limit for
cocaine, opioids and other drugs would have to be set low, recognizing that you can
overdose on these drugs in a way that you can’t with cannabis.
13 There could be no drug advertising, and sales would have to occur through tightly
regulated government outlets. There would be strict penalties for selling drugs to
underage youth and against using and driving—just as there are now for alcohol.
14 It’s important that we don’t lose sight of the many health harms associated with
drug use. But we need to be honest about the reasons people use them—and the
potential benefits. We’re seeing that psilocybin, the psychoactive component of
mushrooms, and MDMA may have potential for people with PTSD and a range of
other mental health issues.
15 We also must be honest about the substantial social burden associated with
criminalizing drug use. Criminalization has utterly failed to stop individuals from
using. We've spent enormous amounts of money and devastated countless lives—
often from racialized communities—enforcing laws that don’t work. Legalization is a
sensible alternative.

Glossary
rationale: a set of reasons
prohibition: the act of forbidding something, especially by law
racialized: categorized or divided according to race
disservice: a harmful action
jurisdiction: the extent of the power to make legal decisions and judgments
psychoactive: (mainly of adrug) affecting the mind
PTSD: a mental health condition, called post-traumatic stress disorder, triggered by a terrifying event

402 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Comprehension Questions
ie What is the author's evidence that the illegalization of recreational drugs does not
reduce drug crime?

What makes more sense, according to the author, than the elimination ofdrug
usage when it comes to substance use and abuse?

How have laws against drug possession been used to target certain communities,
according to the author?

Which country has already decriminalized all drugs? What are the results of this?

What are the restrictions that the author says should be imposed if all drugs were
legalized?

Questions for Discussion

1. Despite the author's opinion that further decriminalization of recreational drugs
might reduce the targeting of certain communities, some say this might not work.
What do you think and why?

2. The author writes that drug users could “take the drug under the supervision of a
health-care professional at an injection site or similar facility, greatly reducing the risk
of overdose.’
Are most drug users likely to access drugs in this way? Why or why not?

3. The author makes the case that the black market would be“virtually eliminated”
by blanket legalization. Do you agree? Why or why not?

4. What are the reasons most people might find the author's proposal to legalize all
drugs “outrageous”as the introduction to this piece mentions?

Questions about Form

1. Why does the author begin his piece with a question? Why does he ask the
question that he does?

2. Why do you think the author identifies himselfas a criminologist in paragraph 5?

3. When does the author clearly write that Canada should legalize all drugs? Why do
you think he does not say this sooner? Explain.

4. What is common between the first paragraph and the last paragraph? Why?

Writing Ideas
1. What might some new problems be as a result of the legalization ofall drugs?

2. Identify what the author says is one of the benefits of the legalization ofall drugs.
What are three reasons you agree or disagree that it is, in fact, a benefit?

3. The recreational use of cannabis has been legal in Canada since October 17, 2018.
What have been either the benefits or the problems with such legalization?

Material reprinted with the express permission of: Edmonton Journal, a division of Postmedia Network Inc.

NEL
Akwasi Gwusu-Bempah = Beyond Cannabis 403
 The Economic Cost of Depression

Gary Lamphier

In spite of the usual stigma and taboos, depression is increasingly becoming a topic
of discussion now that there's a huge price tag attached to it. It’s still a difficult illness
to diagnose, and probably more difficult to treat. But what's certain is that it’s costing
Canadian taxpayers large amounts of money. Gary Lamphier of the Edmonton Journal
examines this issue in this article published on August 14, 2014.

The shocking suicide of Robin Williams brought a tragic end to the life of one of
Hollywood’s most gifted and beloved comic actors.
With his passing, we can only hope Williams’s death will help shine a spotlight on a
topic that is anything but funny, and all too often swept under society’s rug: depression.
Depression is a very big deal in Canada, and in many other nations around the
globe. The World Health Organization (WHO) says some 350 million people suffer
from depression worldwide. That’s roughly 10 times the entire population of Canada.
The Conference Board of Canada estimates that 16 per cent of women and 11 per
cent of men in this country will suffer a major depression at some point in their lives.
In the workplace, roughly four per cent of adults are clinically depressed at any
given time. So if your organization employs 500 people, odds are that 20 of them are
seriously depressed and in need of medical help as you read this column.
Anyone who has suffered through major depressions—as Williams apparently
did throughout his life—or who knows someone who has, realizes just how crippling
and socially isolating “the black dog” can be.
It afflicts politicians and wealthy tycoons, artists and academics, scientists and
pop stars, athletes and war heroes, as well as your neighbours and family members.
Winston Churchill, Eric Clapton, Woody Allen and Ray Charles all suffered from
depression. So did Ingmar Bergman, Ernest Hemingway, Isaac Newton and Abraham
Lincoln.
Contrary to popular belief, a person who is depressed can’t simply “snap out of it”
or “pull up his socks” to escape its ill effects, any more than a cancer patient can wish
his disease away. Nor is depression a sign of personal weakness.
10 Depression may be triggered by some external event—such as job loss, retirement,
or the death of a spouse—or it may stem from a chemical imbalance in the brain.
11 Whatever the cause, it happens between one’s ears, so it’s invisible to the naked
eye. Unlike a broken leg or a sprained ankle, it doesn’t immediately evoke sympathy
from friends or colleagues. Often, it provokes the opposite response: indifference.
12 And unlike a tumour, a doctor can’t perform a biopsy on a patient’s brain tissue
to see if he or she is depressed. Although depression can be and often is treated
successfully with medication, that, too, can involve lots of trial and error, including
multiple medications and dosages before an effective remedy is found.
13 Those who suffer from depression endure a hailstorm of body-slamming
symptoms, from loss of sleep and appetite to lethargy, an inability to focus and even
recurring feelings of guilt or obsessive thoughts of suicide.

404 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Christine
Glade/istockphoto.com

14 For the Canadian economy, the cost of depression is staggering in terms of

worker absenteeism, loss of productivity, drug prescription costs and a phenomenon
known as “presenteeism,” which refers to depressed employees who are still at work,
but functioning at a reduced level.
15 “The Conference Board did an analysis of the six most important mental health
issues in Canada, and the top two are depression and chronic depression,” says
Louise Chenier, the board’s manager, workplace health and wellness research.
“The cost to the economy is estimated to be $20.7 billion per year and it’s expected
to increase to $29.1 billion annually by 2030, so it’s a huge number.”
16 Even that lofty figure understates the magnitude of the problem, however. If
one includes the costs associated with “presenteeism” in the calculation, Chenier says
the price tag would actually be several times larger.
17 The good news? Just as it’s important to encourage employees to be physically active
and healthy, organizations are slowly coming around to the view that mental health is
also vitally important, not only in terms of workplace culture but to the bottom line.
18 As a result, an increasing number of organizations are providing programs and
support services to help employees stay menta lly healthy, and to get proper treatment
if they need it, Chenier says.
19 That said, depression and other inental health issues still carry a stigma, and
many companies are uncomfortable addressing it in the workplace. The “‘just suck it
up” attitude remains all too pervasive, and destructive.
20 “For some reason mental health issues are still less often discussed, and I think
it’s because it’s more invisible, and people don’t know how to react when colleagues
C1 e }
have experienced a mentai D ‘alth issue,” says Chenie

Gary Lamphier = /he Economic Cost of Depression 405

NEL
 21 “They don’t know what to say, and often people are very uncomfortable talking
about emotions, so they don’t know how to broach the subject. So it leads to situations
where a colleague who has had to take a leave of absence for depression and returns
to work, they almost feel ignored. Meanwhile someone who comes back after breaking
his leg gets all this empathy. It’s simply because people are uncomfortable. So the
more we learn to talk about it the better it will be for everyone.”

Glossary
clinically: in terms of observed symptoms
tycoons: wealthy and influential business people
indifference: lack of interest or attention
biopsy: removal and examination of living tissue to determine the extent of a disease
lethargy: lack of energy or enthusiasm
understates: expresses in restrained terms

Comprehension Questions
is How widespread in the world is the problem of depression, according to the reading?

2 Why, according to the reading, does depression not evoke sympathy from
someone in the same way a broken leg might?

Why is depression difficult to treat, according to the reading?

4. What are the costs of depression to the economy?

5: How are organizations beginning to respond to the reality of depression?

Questions about Form

1. Why does the reading open with such a major reference to Robin Williams?

2, Why is the example of Robin Williams so ironic?

3 Why are statistics included so early in the reading?

4. What is the purpose of the last paragraph in this reading?

Questions for Discussion

A; The reading by Lamphier keeps mentioning the notion of the stigma around
depression. Besides the fact that depression is an “invisible” condition, what
else do you think contributes to the stigma? Why are people so uncomfortable
sympathizing with people who have it?

2. Why do some people expect those with depression to just “snap out of it”?

Writing Ideas
1. The last paragraph mentions how much someone who returns to work after
a leave of absence for depression might be ignored. What can someone do to
comfort the person returning?

2. What, in your opinion, can organizations do to accommodate employees with

depression that perhaps they are not already doing?

406 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 The Other Family
Himani Bannerji

Himani Bannerji teaches in the Department of Sociology at York University in

Toronto. She has an active teaching connection with India, especially West Bengal,
through the School of Women’s Studies, Jadavpur University, Kolkata. She has taught
and published extensively in the areas of Marxist theory, anti-racist feminism, and
nationalism. In the following story about a little girl and her mother, first published
in 2009, Bannerji gives us a glimpse into the home of an immigrant family caught
between the desire to fit into a new community and the fear of losing its identity.

When the little girl came home it was already getting dark. The winter twilight had
transformed the sheer blue sky of the day into the colour of steel, on which were etched a
few stars, the bare winter trees and the dark wedges of the housetops. A few lit windows
cast a faint glow on the snow outside. The mother stood at her window and watched
the little hooded figure walking toward the house. The child looked like a shadow, her
blue coat blended into the shadows of the evening. This child, her own, how small and
insubstantial she seemed, and how alone, walking home through a pavement covered
with ice and snow! It felt unreal. So different was this childhood from her own, so far
away from the sun, the trees and the peopled streets of her own country! What did I do,
she thought, I took her away from her own people and her own language, and now here
she comes walking alone, through an alien street in a country named Canada.

India/Photolibrary
Photos
©

Himani Bannerji, “The Other Family.” Reprinted by permission of Himani Bannerji.

Himani Bannerji =7he Other Family 407

NEL
 2 As she contemplated the solitary, moving figure, her own solitude rushed
over her like a tide. She had drifted away from a world that she had lived in and
understood, and now she stood here at the same distance from her home as from the
homes which she glimpsed while walking past the sparkling clean windows of the
sandblasted houses. And now the doorbell rang, and here was her daughter scraping
the snow off her boots on the doormat.
Dinner time was a good time. A time of warmth, of putting hot, steaming food
onto the table. A time to chat about the important things of the day, a time to show
each other what they had acquired. Sometimes, however, her mother would be
absentminded, worried perhaps about work, unsettled perhaps by letters that had
arrived from home, scraping her feelings into a state of rawness. This was such an
evening. She had served herself and her child, started a conversation about their two
cats and fallen into a silence after a few minutes.
“You aren't listening to me, Mother.”
The complaining voice got through to her, and she looked at the indignant face
demanding attention from the other side of the table. She gathered herself together.
“So what did he do, when you gave him dried food?”
“Oh, I don’t quite remember, I think he scratched the ground near his bowl and
left.”
The child laughed.
“That was smart of him! So why don’t we buy tinned food for them?”
“Maybe we should,” she said, and tried to change the topic.
“So what did you do in your school today?”
“Oh, we drew pictures like we do every day. We never study anything—not like
you said you did in your school. We drew a family—our family. Want to see it?”
13 “Sure, and let’s go to the living room, OK? This is messy.” Scraping of chairs
and the lighting of the lamps in the other room. They both made a rush for the most
comfortable chair, both reached it at the same time and made a compromise.
14 “How about you sit in my lap? No? OK, sit next to me then and we will squeeze in
somehow.”
15 There was a remarkable resemblance between the two faces, except that the face
of the child had a greater intensity, given by the wide open eyes. She was fine boned,
and had black hair framing her face. Right now she was struggling with the contents
of her satchel, apparently trying to feel her way to the paintings.
16 “Here it is,” she said, producing a piece of paper. “Here’s the family!”
17 The mother looked at the picture for a long time. She was very still. Her face had
set into an expression of anger and sadness. She was trying very hard not to cry. She
didn’t want to frighten the child, and yet what she saw made her feel distant from her
daughter, as though she was looking at her through the reverse end of a telescope.
She couldn’t speak at all. The little girl too sat very still, a little recoiled from the body
of her mother, as though expecting a blow. Her hands were clenched into fists, but
finally it was she who broke the silence.
18 “What happened?” she said. “Don’t you like it?”
19 “Listen,” said the mother, “this is not your family. I, you and your father are dark-
skinned, dark-haired. I don’t have a blond wig hidden in my closet, my eyes are black,

408 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 not blue, and your father’s beard is black, not red, and you, do you have a white skin,
a button nose with freckles, blue eyes and blond hair tied into a ponytail? You said
you drew our family. This is not it, is it?”
20 The child was now feeling distinctly cornered. At first she was startled and
frightened by her mother’s response, but now she was prepared to be defiant. She had
the greatest authority behind her, and she now summoned it to her help.
21 “T drew it from a book,” she said, “all our books have this same picture of the
family. You can go and see it for yourself. And everyone else drew it too. You can ask
our teacher tomorrow. She liked it, so there!”
22 The little girl was clutching at her last straw.
23 “But you? Where are you in this picture?” demanded her mother, by now
thoroughly aroused. “Where are we? Is this the family you would like to have? Don’t
you want us anymore? You want to be a mem-sahib, a white girl?”
24 But even as she lashed out these questions, the mother regretted them. She could
see that she made no sense to the child. She could feel the unfairness of it all. She was
sorry that she was putting such a heavy burden on such young shoulders.
25 “First I bring her here,” she thought, “and then I try to make her feel guilty for
wanting to be the same as the others.” But something had taken hold of her this
evening. Panic at the thought of losing her child, despair and guilt galvanized her into
speech she regretted, and she looked with anger at her only child, who it seemed wanted
to be white, who had rejected her dark mother. Someday this child would be ashamed
of her, she thought; someday she would move out into the world of those others.
Someday they would be enemies. Confusing thoughts ran through her head like images
on an uncontrollable television screen, in the chaos of which she heard her ultimate
justification flung at her by her daughter—they wanted me to draw the family, didn’t
they? “They” wanted “her” to draw “the family.” The way her daughter pronounced
the words “they” or “the family” indicated that she knew what she was talking about.
The simple pronoun “they” definitely stood for authority, for that uncontrollable yet
organized world immediately outside, of which the school was the ultimate expression.
It surrounded their own private space. “They” had power, “they” could crush little
people like her anytime “they” wanted to, and in “their” world that was the picture of the
family. Whether her mother liked it or not, whether she looked like the little girl in it or
not, made not one jot of difference. That was, yes, that was the right picture. As these
thoughts passed through her mind, her anger ebbed away. Abandoning her fury and
distance, the mother bowed her head at the image of this family and burst into sobs.
26 “What will happen to you?” she said. “What did I do to you?”
27 She cried a great deal and said many incoherent things. The little girl was
patient, quietly absorbing her mother’s change of mood. She had a thoughtful look
on her face, and bit her nails from time to time. She did not protest any more, but nor
did she cry. After a while her mother took her to bed and tucked her in, and sat in the
kitchen with the fearful vision of her daughter always outside of the window of the
blond family, never the centre of her own life, always rejecting herself, and her life
transformed into a gigantic peep show. She wept very bitterly because she had caused
this destruction, and because she had hated her child in her own fear of rejection, and
because she had sowed guilt into her mind.

NEL
Himani Bannerji =The Other Family 409
 28 When her mother went to bed and closed the door, the child, who had been
waiting for a long time, left the bed. She crossed the corridor on her tiptoes, past
the row of shoes, the silent gathering of the overcoats and the mirror with the
wavy surface, and went into the washroom. Behind the door was another mirror,
of full length, and clear. Deliberately and slowly the child took off the top of her
pajamas and surveyed herself with grave scrutiny. She saw the brownness of her
skin, the wide, staring, dark eyes, the black hair now tousled from the pillows, the
scar on her nose and the brownish pink of her mouth. She stood a while lost in
this act of contemplation, until the sound of soft padded feet neared the door, and
a whiskered face peeped in. She stooped and picked up the cat and walked back to
her own room.

eeat

29 It was snowing again, and little elves with bright coloured coats and snow in their
boots had reappeared in the classroom. When finally the coats were hung under pegs
with names and boots neatly stowed away, the little girl approached her teacher. She
had her painting from the day before in her hand.
30 “I have brought it back,” she said.
31 “Why?” asked her teacher, “don’t you like it anymore?”
32 The little girl was looking around very intently.
33 “It’s not finished yet,” she said. “The books I looked at didn’t have something.
Can I finish it now?”
34 “Go ahead,” said the teacher, moving on to get the colours from the cupboard.
35 The little girl was looking at the classroom. It was full of children of all colours,
of all kinds of shapes of noses and of different colours of hair. She sat on the floor,
placed the incomplete picture on a big piece of newspaper and started to paint. She
worked long at it—and with great concentration. Finally it was finished. She went
back to her teacher.
36 “It’s finished now,” she said, “I drew the rest.”
37 The teacher reached out for the picture and spread it neatly on a desk. There they
were, the blond family arranged in a semicircle with a dip in the middle, but next to
them, arranged alike, stood another group—a man, a woman, and a child, but they
were dark-skinned, dark-haired, the woman wore clothes from her own country, and
the little girl in the middle had a scar on her nose.
38 “Do you like it?”
39 “Who are they?” asked the teacher, though she should have known. But the little
girl didn’t mind answering this question one bit.
40 “It’s the other family,” she said.

Glossary
insubstantial: not large in size or amount; weak
contemplated: looked at or considered in a calm, reflective manner
ultimate: preeminent or decisive
incoherent: unintelligible; not able to be understood

410 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

 Comprehension Questions
1. Is there mutual respect between mother and daughter? Cite the evidence.

2. What was the immediate thing that upset the little girl’s mother when she saw the
first picture her daughter had drawn?

3. What is the mother afraid of? Where is the evidence of this fear?

4. How did the little girl resolve the issue?

Questions about Form

1. Is this an essay or a story? Explain.

2. Although this piece is told in third-person narration, is the narrator more

knowledgeable about a particular character? Explain.

3. Does the author make effective use of transitions in this piece? Give three
examples oftransitions.

4. What are the effects of the extensive use of dialogue?

Questions for Discussion

1. Because this piece is fictional, the author’s thesis is not explicit. What do you think,
in your own words, is the author’s message? What evidence would you cite from
the piece in support of your answer?

2. How do the mother’s fears relate to the idea of young people dating people of
other races and religions? How do problems in this area tend to get resolved?

Writing Ideas
1. How important are pictures and words when it comes to helping people develop
strong self-esteem? Write a paragraph or an essay supporting your answer, and
refer, in your writing, to evidence from Bannerji’s piece.

2. This piece is about the conflict between the desire to fit in and the fear of losing
one’s identity. Write a paragraph or an essay in which you discuss a personal
experience that relates to these themes, and explain how your own situation was
resolved.

Brett Throop, “Cyberbullying has ‘hugely disproportionate impact on women and girls” CBC, 8 August 2014.

Himani Bannerji =he Other Family 411

NEL
 Cyber Misogyny
Brett Throop

Cyberbullying, or hatred of women online? The term cyberbullying may, in fact, be an

attempt to water down or even completely conceal the truth, which is that the Internet
is just another place to harass women. And too many men and boys get away with it
because the law might not have caught up with the technology ... until now anyway.
Brett Throop of CBC News documents this in a story first posted on August 8, 2014.

1 When Canadian teen Amanda Todd committed suicide after intimate photos of
her were circulated online, the media referred to the circumstances as a case of
cyberbullying.
2 But according to a Vancouver-based women’s advocacy group, online harassment
has a “hugely disproportionate impact on women and girls” and needs to be called
what it is: cyber misogyny.
3 “Cyberbullying has become this term that’s often thrown around with little
understanding of what the underlying causes of this harassment, this hate speech,
these threats, actually [are],” said Kasari Govender, executive director of the
Vancouver-based West Coast Legal Education and Action Fund (LEAF).
4 LEAF uses the term cyber misogyny “to reveal the underlying discriminatory
attitudes,” Govender said in an interview with Francine Pelletier, guest host of CBC
Radio’s The Sunday Edition this week.
5 “We think it’s important to name the forces that are motivating this in order to
figure out how to address it.”
6 While the term cyberbullying suggests that women and men are equally
victimized, it’s much less common to see cyberbullying directed at men, Govender
said. Online hate speech or harassment directed at men is usually racist, homophobic
or transphobic in nature, she said.
7 Cyberbullying “isn’t a problem that only impacts women and girls, but it is a
problem that disproportionately impacts women and girls,” Govender said.

|©- Bullying
Photo
Computer
Cyber
Mike2focus
Dreamstime.com
Internet

412 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 “Revenge Porn,” aMajor Concern
According to LEAF, cyber misogyny differs from regular bullying in that it uses
online and digital communication tools to harass women and girls solely because of
their gender.
One of the most prevalent forms is the distribution of intimate images of
someone by text message or email without their consent. Similar to this is so-called
“revenge porn,” in which aggrieved individuals publish intimate photos or videos of
a former partner online with the purpose of shaming them.
10 Women are also more vulnerable than their male counterparts to cyber-stalking,
which is when an individual sends “unwanted advances” online, even using spyware
to monitor another person’s activity online. |
11 Most of this online harassment falls through the cracks of Canada’s criminal
code, meaning the online realm remains a “wild west” when it comes to civil rights,
Govender said.
12 In Saskatchewan this year, a man was acquitted of theft and mischief charges
in a revenge porn case after publishing nude images of his ex-girlfriend online. The
judge found the accused’s conduct “despicable,” but could not charge him under
existing laws.
13 This lack of regulation, combined with widespread misogyny online, effectively
limits women’s speech on the internet, Govender said.
14 When women are threatened, stalked or harassed online, it “shuts women’s
voices down and means that in fact they’re not speaking, they're not able to
participate in those same forums,” Govender said.
15 In the absence of legal protections, many women and girls who are harassed
online feel that their only option is to close their social media accounts and stay off
the internet, Govender said.
16 That was what police told Amanda Todd’s mother when she reported that her
daughter was being harassed, Govender said.
17 For most young people, that is “not an option,” because online social networking
and texting are “so much a part of youth culture,” Govender said.
18 “And it also really dismisses the potential of the internet to be a very positive place.”

The Pros and Cons of Bill C-13

19 Govender and her organization are supportive of parts of the controversial
legislation put forward by the federal government that would crack down on online
harassment.
20 Bill C-13, also known as the Protecting Canadians from Online Crime Act,
would make it illegal to distribute intimate images without consent. But other
provisions of the bill would expand police powers, including creating what
some say would be an incentive for warrantless disclosure of information to
police. This has raised concerns among many, including Canada’s privacy
commissioner.
21 LEAF wants to see the bill split in two in order to expedite the passage of the
measures that directly target online harassment.

Brett Throop Cyber Misogyny 413

NEL
 22 “My concern is that if it’s passed as a whole that it will actually be held up
quite significantly because there will likely be a constitutional challenge to its use,”
Govender said.
23 She is hoping that the legislation can be tweaked to “keep women and girls safe
without engaging in [a] wholesale override of freedom of speech and privacy rights
online.”
24 Bill C-13 passed second reading in the House of Commons in April. A committee
report on it will be considered by the House and Senate when Parliament resumes in
the fall.
25 Govender said the federal government’s refusal to reconsider the aspects of the
bill with the potential to infringe on privacy “really takes away from its commitment
to ensure that women and girls are safe.”

Note from The Canadian Writer’s Workplace: Bill C-13 became law on Monday,
March 9, 2015.

Glossary
misogyny: hatred of or contempt for women
aggrieved: having the feeling of being unfairly treated
“wild west”: refers to the western region of the United States when it was lawless
expedite: make something go faster

Comprehension Questions
ti: What, in your own words, is the thesis of this piece by Brett Throop?

2. What is the meaning ofthe title?

3. What's wrong with the term cyberbullying, according to Kasari Govender?

4. What makes it difficult to prosecute people of cyberbullying?

5. What was controversial about Bill C-13?

Questions about Form

1. Is the title of this piece effective? Why or why not?

2. “Cyber Misogyny” is divided into three parts. Why is the piece split up this way? Is
this division effective? Why or why not?

3. Why does the writer start the piece by mentioning the Amanda Todd case?

Questions for Discussion

i Do you agree that the term cyberbullying is too gender-neutral for what it really
depicts? Why or why not?

Is it fair to expect victims of online harassment to leave the social network

altogether, as the police advised Amanda Todd's mother when she complained
about the harassment of her daughter? Why or why not?

414 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

 3. In the beginning of the movie The Social Network, about the birth of Facebook,
founder Mark Zuckerberg was seen “cyberbullying” his girlfriend, who had just
dumped him. When he realized, after his online rant, that his site had received
thousands of hits in an hour, he knew he had an idea worth a great deal of money.
How does this scene in the movie relate to the reading?

Writing Ideas
1. Ina paragraph or an essay, discuss other forms of cyberbullying besides “revenge
porn’

2. Ina paragraph or an essay, discuss strategies that could be used to prevent young
people from cyberbullying their peers.

3. In aparagraph or an essay, address the following questions: Is cyberbullying really

cyber misogyny? If so, why are men more often guilty of this than women? If you
think this is not the case, supply evidence in support of your answer. Also, add
examples where you can.

+44
Not Just Hollywood
Leah McLaren

Reports of powerful (in most cases, white) men getting accused and in some cases
fired from their jobs for sexually harassing or assaulting women in and around the
workplace have often, in recent years, dominated the news. One problem as a result
of this topic is that some people think the type of abuse focused on in the news
only takes place in Hollywood or the offices and homes of top executives. Maclean's
magazine writer Leah McLaren points out that it happens in Canada, too, more often
and in more places than most people would like to admit.

This week, as my news feed teemed with the hashtag #MeToo, I was astonished, but
not entirely surprised, to read the confessions of so many women, many of them high
profile in the Canadian media, sharing their stories of workplace harassment and
assault.
Here’s the thing about Weinstein: It’s not just America and it’s not just
Hollywood. And it’s not just one monstrous man, no matter how much we might like
to scapegoat him.
It is Canada. It’s the office you work in. The school you go to. The cafe you are
sitting in right now. It is the streets you walk on each day. It is every industry—
including the self-regarding liberal mainstream media. It is many (but crucially not all)
men, in many rooms and almost every woman. Make no mistake: Sexual harassment is
utterly ubiquitous and endemic to the culture we live in. This is not a witch hunt, it’s
a statement of pure, inescapable truth. And maybe if we keep saying it, over and over in
larger and larger numbers someday, somehow it might begin to change.

Leah McLaren, “Me too: it’s not just Hollywood, it’s Canada” Maclean's, 18 October 2017.

NEL
Leah McLaren Not Just Hollywood 415
 4 But I wouldn’t hold your breath.
5 Like almost all women, my personal and professional life has been rife with
sexual harassment. Until recently, though, I didn’t really think of it that way. It was so
insidious, so normal, that for many years it just seemed an unpleasant yet inevitable
thread inextricably woven into the fabric of daily life.
6 These incidents were not transgressions that took place in smoky boardrooms
where bosses drank Scotch and pinched passing secretary bottoms for sport. This was
stuff that happened in this century, in gleaming, enlightened smoke-free offices with
HR departments and strict codes of conduct. Not that we complained. Nah, we’d go
laugh it off with our girlfriends over cosmopolitans at the bar, because that was what
cool, confident women did. We didn’t allow ourselves to be cast as victims. We didn’t
complain and we didn’t explain. And in this way, we were complicit in the sexism that
riddled our lives.
7 From the elderly professor who pounced on me after a university dinner party,
to the Yorkville restaurant where I was asked to come to work in a bikini top for the
“hot tub party” (and fired when I declined), to the never-ending stream of cat-calls,
ass-grabs, flashings and random abuse in the street, the bus or the bar. Being treated
like a sexual play thing by men, I quickly learned, was just part of growing up female.
8 When I was lucky enough to get a staff column at The Globe and Mail in my
208, the flow of harassment did not stop. If anything, it escalated. There was the
older male editor who assigned me a big interview with a famous actor “because
he’s known to like blondes,” and the older male editor who advised me to “wear
something low cut” when door-stepping a rock star. And of course, there was the
older male editor who groped me at the office Christmas party. These incidents were
so legion as to seem almost unremarkable. They were the air I breathed, the ground I
walked on. They were, quite simply, the world.
9 For years, every Monday morning when I picked up my office voicemail and
checked my inbox, there would be scores of men telling me I was stupid, untalented
and didn’t deserve my job. Not unusually, they would threaten to kill me or rape me
or both. Then the internet exploded and they migrated to Twitter and the anonymous
comment boards my employer provided for their convenience.
10 There was also the media gossip rag whose idea of “satire” was demeaning
young female journalists in aggressively sexual ways. They spread rumours about
my romantic life and speculated giddily about whether I’d been abused by one of my
high school teachers. They relentless sought to humiliate every female journalist who
ever raised her head above the parapet. One issue, they depicted my face on the cover
super-imposed on the metal-bikini-clad body of Carrie Fischer as Princess Leia held
in the clutches of a lascivious Jabba the Hutt.
11 I tried my best to laugh it all off, even when shame engulfed me like wildfire.
12 One lesson I learned over and over in my long career at the Globe: When a female
columnist is publicly harassed for gender-based reasons, the institutional silence is
deafening. You are on your own. Of the workplace incidents, I said nothing. Years
later, when I did decide to write about the groping incident during the Ghomeshi
affair, |understood what a wise decision my silence had been.

416 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 13 I was called to meetings with HR, lawyers, the editor-in-chief who insisted on editing
my column. I was repeatedly urged to make my tone less accusatory and to make my
assailant less identifiable. The entire process was bewildering and at times intimidating,
especially since my assailant had already admitted his transgression and apologized.
14 They protect each other, these guys.
15 And for the most part, even in Canada, they are still running the show.
16 As the dust settles on the Weinstein affair just like it eventually did with Cosby,
Saville and Ghomeshi before it, we would do well to remember that it’s not just about
sexual harassment. It’s about how we continually reduce women to sexual objects
with the aim of enriching the powerful. It’s about how we silence women by implying
that they are stupid or crazy or difficult or all of the above. It’s the reason why women
are paid less and abused far more. It’s the whole fetid package.
17 What Harvey Weinstein did to all those actresses in hotel rooms is like a
microcosmic pantomime of the system as a whole. And like those seamy hotel
suites, it’s dangerous and sprawling and it stinks. It’s time we walked out the door
and left the bullying walrus flailing in his bathrobe forever. But how to do that when
he still owns us?
18 At the very least, it’s time we stood up and let ourselves be counted.

Glossary
scapegoat: a person who is blamed for the mistakes of others
ubiquitous: present, appearing, or found everywhere
endemic: (ofadisease or condition) regularly found among particular people or in a certain area
rife: widespread
transgression: an act that goes against a law, rule, or code of conduct; an offense
assailant: a person who physically attacks another
fetid: smelling extremely unpleasant
microcosmic: a tiny representation of something larger
pantomime: a dramatic entertainment in which performers express meaning through gestures
accompanied by music

Comprehension Questions
1. In paragraph 3, the author says, “And maybe if we keep saying it, over and over in
larger and larger numbers someday, somehow it might begin to change’"What
should we keep saying, and what might begin to change?

2. Atthe end of paragraph 6, the author writes, “We were complicit in the sexism that
riddled our lives.” How are women complicit, according to the reading, in the way
they are treated?

3. What are some of the things that the author mentions as evidence that Canada is
no better than Hollywood in terms of how women are treated?

4, Atthe very end ofthe piece, McLaren says, “At the very least, it’s time we stood up
and let ourselves be counted.”What does this mean?

Leah McLaren NotJust Hollywood 417

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 Questions about Form
1k Is the title of this piece effective? Why or why not?

2 McLaren opens and ends her piece with references to Harvey Weinstein. Why do
you think she does this? Is this effective? Why or why not?

Why are some of McLaren's paragraphs only one sentence long?

Questions for Discussion

i In paragraph 1, McLaren cites Harvey Weinstein as an example of a person who
has been dubbed a monster by society. Why do you think society finds it necessary
to “scapegoat”
such people?

McLaren, in paragraph 10, says, “There was also the media gossip rag whose idea
of ‘satire’ was demeaning young female journalists in aggressively sexual ways.’
Why might a writer attack a female journalist in this way? Do you think the writer
of the “gossip rag” was male or female? Why?

In paragraph 16, McLaren writes, “It’s about how we continually reduce women to
sexual objects with the aim of enriching the powerful.” Do you agree with her? If
so, who are “we”? Why do you think she isn’t specific as to who “we” are? Why do
“we”do it? And why are “we’ so slow to change?

Throughout her article, McLaren mentions certain stereotypes, such as men

“known to like blondes,’ men who prefer women to “wear something low cut,’and
men who grope women at Christmas parties. Where do these stereotypes come
from? Why do they persist?

Clearly, sexual harassment and sexual violence are not new practices. Why, now,
has the #Me Too movement emerged?

Writing Ideas
ile In a paragraph or an essay, identify and discuss three areas in which you believe
women are still treated unfairly and unequally in Canada.

What are three reasons women in Canada do not enjoy the same status as men?

What can people (men and women) do to contribute to the change that would
see women treated equally to their male counterparts?

+++
What's Missing?

Gary Lipschutz

The world would have us think that the greatest source of our happiness is money. The
more money we have, the more we can get what we want. Too often, according to the
lead author of The Canadian Writer’s Workplace, who also teaches English at Toronto's

418 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

 Centennial College, the money we work so hard to make goes toward addiction, and
happiness is the last thing we find when this happens. In “What's Missing,’ written in
2015, Lipschutz suggests that the struggle with addiction is more than a mental health
issue; it’s a spiritual journey that most of us must take.

Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse, Philip Seymour Hoffman—

what do they all have in common? All were abundantly talented. All seemed to
have everything and more. All died far too early. All died from their addictions.
What more do people want that these talented celebrities didn’t already have?
What’s missing?
Besides material wealth that never completely satisfies, people seem to be in
search of something else. Maybe it’s the comfort in knowing that their lives mean
something. Maybe it’s the experience of feeling truly alive. Maybe it’s the feeling
of being connected to other human beings. Psychologist Dr. Gerald May wrote a
book called Addiction and Grace. In it, he claims that most of the patients he treats
for depression are seeking God or something spiritual—something bigger than
themselves, whether they realize it or not. Dr. May says that they too often look
for this mysterious, spiritual, missing thing in addiction. But, ironically, he says,
whatever it is we’re missing actually lies on the other side of withdrawal.
So many people are addicted to something without even being aware of it.
Addiction is the out-of-control compulsion to do something or to take something
for the sole purpose of making you feel better. You can be addicted to drugs, money,
power, gambling, sex, love, cellphone usage, social media, video games, alcohol,
smoking, food, shopping, etc. One addiction tends to lead to another. Instead of
finding what they’re looking for, addicts find that their lives actually worsen because
the “high” from addictions is only temporary and the long-term effect is damage to
their health and/or welfare. And to keep achieving the same “high,” addicts often must
amplify the “fix,” leading to enormous expense, greater health risk and/or more
depression.
So that’s the problem. Although we want to be happy, we often look for happiness
in all the wrong places. But at the risk of sounding more cliché, there is a silver lining
in this cloud. What’s bad can actually help you find what’s good. It’s like registering
for a college program you discover you don’t like only to discover what program you
really do want. The journey from addiction to happiness (or freedom or heroism) can
be divided into three stages: 1. awareness of one’s addiction, 2. the desert experience,
and 3. the realization of one’s purpose and passion.

Stage One: Awareness (“I don’t want to go through this anymore.’)

5 Awareness of an addiction can come by monitoring your energy supply. We
only have so much energy to spend on a daily basis before it’s time to sleep and
re-energize. If you spend all your energy on something unproductive, such as an
addiction, there’s not much left for something productive, such as something for
which you have enormous talent, desire and passion. If you spend every weekend
getting drunk or high or several hours every day obsessing over social media or a new
man or woman in your life, think of what you could be producing if you spent that

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Gary Lipschutz =What’ Missing? 419
 time developing your photography skills or your songwriting ability or your flair for
painting portraits. When you become aware of your addiction, which takes you away
from your talents, you are already on your way to recovery.
Your choice of people with whom you spend a great deal of time is extremely
important. These people, after all, have an enormous influence on your spiritual
journey. First, there’s the possibility that you are going to take part in the same
addictions as those of your friends. Second, if you spend all your energy with people
who bring you down rather than lift you up, think about how this is going to affect
your self-esteem and, consequently, your other life choices. By spending time with
the wrong people, you might be shaping a destructive lifestyle.

Stage Two: The Desert Experience (“How do | make my life unimaginably

better?”)
7 The call of the desert can come by way of a “still, small voice.” A man called
Abraham lived with his family in Mesopotamia (present-day Iraq). “A still, small
voice” told Abraham to “Go forth.” Why? He already lived in a bustling city where he
enjoyed the riches of the land, his multitude of cattle and the many family members
who surrounded him. Life was predictable, comfortable and relatively secure. What
more could a man possibly want? But this voice was a voice he couldn’t ignore. It
wasn't the loud, booming, resounding voice of the God that is portrayed in many
movies. It was a “the still, small voice” inside himself that Abraham heard and
attributed to God. The voice not only told him to go forth, but to go forth into the
desert. Why would a man of great wealth go into the desert, where he isn’t even
guaranteed the water he needs to survive, let alone a better life than the one to which
he’s already grown accustomed? The answer is simple: something is missing, and the
answer lies somewhere in the desert, where there is little noise and less distraction,
but lots of mystery, and the promise of a better place that lies ahead.
The desert is not exactly an inviting vacation destination. It’s the toughest part
of the journey from addiction to freedom. But it’s also the most spiritual. We may

RATEAU/Shutterst
Pascal

420 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 go there willingly. If we don't, life has a habit of forcing us there. For Abraham, the
desert meant departure from an old place and the promise of a better one. This
takes courage and faith. For an addict, according to Dr. May, the desert symbolizes
withdrawal (the discontinuation of something such as a drug addiction). Few
drug addicts look forward to withdrawal. (Remember Amy Winehouse and her song
“Rehab”? When watching the music video on YouTube, one might get the awful
feeling that the video foreshadows her death.)
Your desert might come in the form of rehab, depression, or solitude. Any desert
experience is a painful one. It’s also referred to as “the dark night of the soul.” It is
fraught with uncertainty, danger and discomfort—all the things we pay dearly to
avoid. It’s in the desert that you find out that material things cannot and will not save
you. It is in the desert where you will be stripped of your egotistical pride and your
juvenile belief that the world owes you something or anything. But it’s also in the
desert where a space opens up—a space in which you become freer to find what you
are truly looking for now that your addiction no longer controls or distracts you.
10 You are tested in the desert. If you accept your responsibilities that life demands
of every adult and you no longer blame anyone else for your problems, you can
be transformed, which often means a kind of spiritual conversion (you see life
differently now). You discover humility and gratitude, and you realize that respect must
be earned. You undergo a change that has everything to do with character and not just
something cosmetic like a different name or a new tattoo. You can return from the
desert a new person, free of addiction, ready to take on the world, dedicated to helping
your fellow human beings with a new sense of purpose and appreciation for life. The
desert is where heroes are realized and readied for the heroic tasks that lie ahead.
11 You are never alone in the desert, although it may certainly feel that way for a
while. You’re not expected to manage the journey by yourself. Yes, it’s where you will
face your demons, your temptations (continuation of the addictions) and your worst
fears. But you will get help from the strangest of sources. The desert tests you on your
choices, but it also tests your faith. The many twelve-step programs—based on the
mother of twelve-step programs, Alcoholics Anonymous—point out to their members
at every meeting that they need to surrender to a higher power, regardless of what
people might call it. Let yourself be carried through the desert and allow it to show
you what you need to learn.
12 After a class discussion about the “still, small voice,” a student approached me and
asked the question, “How do I listen to this voice?” The question I heard was “How
do I enter the desert?” I responded: “Figure out how to shut out some of the noise in
your life.” It might be actual noise, such as the constant ringing of your cellphone, the
sitcoms on TV, or the plethora of parties normally scheduled for the weekend. Or
it might be something that the word noise symbolizes, such as the misguided or bad
advice of friends or family or the oodles of time spent with the people in your life who
constantly “bring you down.” When you effectively shut out the noise, you start to hear
the still, small voice. And it tells you exactly what you need to hear.
13 Psychologist (and former student of Freud) Carl G. Jung tells a story of a patient
who comes to him and says, “Doctor, I’m depressed. I just lost my job.” Jung takes

NEL
Gary Lipschutz What’ Missing? 421
 out a bottle of champagne. The patient is immediately confused. “What are you
doing?” asks the patient. “Didn’t you hear what I just said? I’m depressed. Ifeel like
I want to die.” Jung responds, “You don’t understand. It’s in these times that there
is immense opportunity because a space has been opened. You are forced to look
inward and grow—discover what you want to do next. It’s time to celebrate!” A desert
experience can come in many different forms and, of course, more than once. But you
have to be willing to accept what it offers.

Stage Three: The Realization of One's Purpose (“What was | born to do?”)
14 The return from the desert is filled with opportunity. With confidence and a
brand-new attitude, one is ready to take on the world, ready to serve fellow human
beings, ready to fulfill one’s purpose on earth—to do what one was born to do, to help
others become happier than they are. Figure out what your talents are and use them
to make the world a better place. Become a part of something that takes you outside
of yourself. Addiction feeds your ego. But that which gives you spiritual fulfilment
nourishes you with self-respect. You feel good not from an addiction that might give
you instant if temporary gratification, but from a longer-lasting feeling of joy because
you know you've done something good for others.
15 In the movie Schindler’s List, Schindler is a German businessman who wants
to make as much money as possible. He owns a factory that makes shells for the
German war effort in World War II. He takes advantage of the war, in which
prisoners are not allowed to get paid for their work. He lets them work in his factory.
This is a win-win situation; after all, while they are working for the war effort, they
are not sent to their death. Schindler is not a bad man. He just likes to make money.
But when he sees a little girl murdered, something changes in him. He can no longer
bear to watch the acts of inhumanity without doing something. With every piece of
gold he has, he buys the freedom (and saves the life) of every prisoner that he can.
Most powerful is the scene in which he falls to his knees and weeps uncontrollably
because he realizes he could have sold his wedding ring to save one more human life.
The man found what was missing .. . his humanity.
16 Thirteenth Century theologian Meister Eckhart said that if you’re holding onto
your attachments, they will be like demons tearing your life away. But if you let go of
your attachments, your demons turn into angels that are freeing you from the earth.

Glossary
addictions: substances or activities that people are compelled to use or do to feel good
amplify: increase the strength or volume
withdrawal: a retreat or discontinuation
transformed: changed in a major way, as in one’s character
plethora: abundance

Comprehension Questions
1. What, in your own words, and in one sentence, is the author's thesis?

2. What are the three stages of the spiritual journey the author discusses?

422 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

 3. What does the author mean by “the desert experience”?

4. In your own words, what is the story about Carl Jung and his patient? What do
you think is its point?

Questions about Form

1. What is the purpose of starting the reading with the names of four celebrities?

2. How does the author choose to organize this reading? Is it effective? Why or why not?

3. How do the stories about Abraham, Jung, the author's student, and Schindler
affect the reading? .
4, Why does the author end the reading with a reference that is 800 years old?

Questions for Discussion

1. Why are addictions so tempting and at the same time so unfulfilling?

2. Does everyone have to undergo thejourney that the author discusses?

3. It can be argued that the three stages the author discusses are parallel to the three
stages of the heroic journey of many characters in literature or modern movies.
Come up with an example and apply the three stages to that character's journey.

Writing Ideas
1. What causes a person to become an addict? In a paragraph or an essay, discuss
these causes, and include examples in support of your points.

2. What are some of the consequences of having an addiction? Discuss them ina
paragraph or an essay, and add examples in support of your points.

3. What are some solutions to the problem of addiction? Discuss them in a

paragraph or an essay, with examples in support of your points.

+++
Face to Face

Brian Bethune

We all love our cellphones. What would we do without them? But is it possible that
they are responsible for our loss of trust in people? And when the trust is gone, what's
left? Brian Bethune’s piece suggests we should pause and examine our lives in light of
this technology and its effects on our social interaction. His article was first published
in Maclean's magazine on September 1, 2014.

Susan Pinker knows as well as anyone what's been won and what’s been lost in the
modern era of personal mobility and global connections. “Our digital devices are

Brian Bethune, “How Face-to-Face Contact Makes Us Happier”, Maclean’s, 1 September 2014. Reproduced by permission
of Maclean’s Magazine.

Brian Bethune Face to Face 423

NEL
 fabulous for gaining information, for scheduling our lives, for reaching the people
we want and avoiding the people we detest,” says the Montreal-based developmental
psychologist and author of The Village Effect: How Face-to-Face Contact Can Make
Us Healthier and Happier, in an interview. “But those digital devices have not been
good for human relationships, because they cannot engender trust.”
2 That trust is what we need, Pinker argues in her narrative-rich book. She ranges
over poll results and new medical research, mostly concentrated in North America but
with a detour to isolated Sardinian mountain villages, where men—who, on worldwide
average, die five to seven years before women—live to 100 at a rate 10 times that of
just about anywhere else. The secret to that longevity, she concludes, is the same as
the cost: The old men, socially wealthy and surrounded by constant (mostly female)
attention, “were impossible to meet alone,” she says, “because they never were.”
While there were undeniable health benefits for both, the‘way in which lives—mostly
younger and female—were dedicated to the care of the elderly is virtually anathema
in the modern West, where fostering independence is a primary parental goal.
3 We have less of that village-level contact now than we ever did, because that’s
the way we want it, but also, Pinker asserts, because “we have been making trade-
offs we haven’t understood.” Even when people begin to recognize the physical and
psychological cost of increasing isolation, they are dangerously prone to thinking
their new online relationships replace in-person ones. They do not: The benefits
humans derive from close interaction—the empathy, the understanding, the firing of
mirror neurons that cause us to mimic to whom we are speaking, and the trust all
that creates—require “being in the same room,” Pinker says. Adding to the problem,
“surveys show that highly social people use their digital connections to buttress their
live ones, while less social people—introverts and the shy—use them to avoid personal
encounters.” The socially rich, in other words, are getting richer and the poor poorer.
4 The situation mirrors the way we were once fitter—or, at least, leamer—when
everyday life required more physical effort, in everything from shovelling coal into the
furnace to running a wringer washer. Now we have to schedule physical exercise for
its own sake. In the same manner, our social structures used to force more interaction

Wavebreakmedia
Ltd/Thinkstock.com

424 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 with others upon us, except, Pinker believes, we don’t grasp the social deficit the
way we noticed the lack of exercise. “Everybody gets into a funk sometimes. Does
anybody wonder, ‘Maybe I haven’t had enough social contact?’ That’s the main reason
I wrote the book, to ask why we aren’t making a big deal of this.”
Pinker doesn’t just describe the “big deal,” as she puts it; she doesn’t hesitate
to suggest solutions, starting with her own. “There’s no way you can do this sort of
research for four years without it affecting you. I joined a swim team for the collegiality,
for what we disparage—and we shouldn’t, because it’s important—as water-cooler
talk. Now I’m in a locker room with 25 other women gossiping, talking about their
families or great new restaurants.” People need to make an effort now to engage with
others and, crucially, to keep refilling gaps in their networks as they age. “It’s like a
perennial garden; every spring, you find you've lost a few plants, and you have to fill in
those spaces.”
Like many other contemporary thinkers who are not devout themselves, Pinker
is strongly interested in religion. Secular-minded social scientists don’t think much
of belief or the power of prayer, but they are impressed by the benefits of community:
A seven-year study of 90,000 women from across the U.S. found that those who
attended religious services at least once a week were 20 per cent more likely to have
longer lifespans. Small wonder there are increasing attempts to establish atheist
churches to reap the same benefits of community and comforting ritual. In 2012,
British philosopher Alain de Botton published Religion for Atheists, to convince his
fellow atheists that religions should not “be abandoned simply to those who believe in
them.” As much as the gathering itself, Pinker emphasizes the physical synchrony
of religious practice, the way “praying, chanting, singing, swaying and rocking all
together” is “brain-soothing,” even for non-believers.
Church service or team swimming might not do for everyone, Pinker allows, but
something will. And we need to go out and find that real social interaction, just as
“every day, we eat.” It’s a matter of life or death.

Glossary
engender: bring about
anathema: a detested thing or person
mimic: imitate
buttress: provide with support
social deficit: an inability or unwillingness to act in accordance with one's age, physical condition, or
intelligence
disparage: regard to be of little worth; belittle
secular-minded: believing that religion should not be involved in the organization of society or
education
synchrony: simultaneous action

Comprehension Questions
1. What is the thesis, in your own words, ofthis piece?

2. What are the benefits of electronic communication, according to the author?

Brian Bethune face to face 425

NEL
 3. What does the author say is missing from electronic communication? Why is it
missing?

4. Atthe end of paragraph 3, the author writes, “The socially rich, in other words, are
getting richer and the poor poorer.’ What does this mean?

5. According to the author, what is the relationship between convenience and

happiness? Is the answer the one you expected? If not, why is this so?

6. How does the issue of fitness relate to the issue of electronic communication,
according to the author?

Questions about Form

1. In paragraph 1, “face-to-face” is hyphenated in the title of the book cited. But in the
title of this reading, it is not. Why?

2. In your opinion, how effective is the title of the piece? Does the title contain a
double meaning? Explain.

Questions for Discussion

1. Discuss a situation in which communication took place electronically, but could
have been more effective if it had been done “face to face.” What was missing?

2. If electronic communication does not “engender trust,” what effect might

continuous communication of this type have on society?

Writing Ideas
1. What can people do to make sure their electronic communication engenders
more trust? Discuss the possibilities in a paragraph or an essay. Add examples in
support of your points.

2. What can people do to reduce the amount of electronic communication and

increase the amount of face-to-face contact in their own life? Provide specific
examples in support of your points in a paragraph or an essay.

++4

426 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 Monster

Chelsea Vowel

Educator and public speaker Chelsea Vowel, who is Metis from Lac Ste. Anne, Alberta,
is the author of the book Indigenous Writes: AGuide to First Nations, Metis and Inuit Issues
in Canada. |n this book, she attempts to open further dialogue and promote a better
understanding of Indigenous issues especially among non-Indigenous people in Canada.
In the following piece taken from her book, she writes specifically of residential schools.
She offers a view from the perspective of someone who is not a residential school
survivor but who has been deeply affected by this tragic portion of Canadian history.

| hate you residential school, | hate you.

You are a monster.
A huge hungry monster.
Built with steel bones. Built with cement flesh.
You're a monster.
Built to devour innocent Native children.
— Dennis Saddleman

Numbers; | deal best with numbers:

* 150 years of operation

* 150000 children who attended
* 6000 children (at least) who died while in the system
* 67 percent of schools run by the Roman Catholic Church, 20 percent by the
Anglicans, 10 percent by the United Church, 3 percent by the Presbyterian Church
* 1996 - the year the last school closed
* 7000 interviews with survivors
* 6volumes in the final Truth and Reconciliation report

This is as dispassionate as I can get, but even broken down into numbers, this hurts.
Of all the topics I have covered in this book, none is more difficult for me to give
voice to than this one. In fact, although I have tried to write about the residential
school system, I have never been able to bring myself to do more than skirt
around the topic; I need to focus on what we can do to change things. I feel like
someone who, after long exposure, has become so raw that the barest whisper
feels like acid on my spirit. Rather than developing calluses, I am a flayed nerve.
I never attended residential school. My experiences are all secondhand. Mine is
the first generation to be schooled entirely outside of that system, and yet I cannot
think of any Indigenous people of my generation who have not been touched by it,
one way or another.
A term was coined in the 1980’s for this impact: historic trauma transmission.
It refers to the “cumulative emotional and psychological wounding across
generations.” There is no one response to this, no one way of feeling or expressing

Reprinted with permission by HighWater Press: Winnipeg, 2016. From Indigenous Writes by Chelsea Vowel copyright ©
Chelsea Vowel

NEL
Chelsea Vowel /Vionster 427
 it. For me, it has meant being utterly incapable of thinking about residential schools
without imagining my own children being forcibly removed from me and put into
such situations. The residential-school system is gone, but my fear never leaves me.
This was legal. This was acceptable. This happened.
5 And so I apologize if this chapter ends up being unsatisfying. I will do my best,
but if you want details of what children endured in those schools, you should hear
it from survivors, not from me. There is now a large, publicly accessible record that
exists that can fill in any gaps you are left with after I am drained of my words here.
6 The Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada (TRC) was established in
2008 to look into the legacy of the residential-school system. It issued an executive
summary in the summer of 2015, and released all six volumes of its final report on
December 15th of the same year. Its work has now, been transferred to the National
Centre for Truth and Reconciliation housed at the University of Manitoba, which will be
a permanent home for all statements, documents, and materials gathered by the TRC.
7 Over the last few years, it has become common to hear former students
of residential schools telling their stories. These former students are called
“survivors,” and this is not just some trite label. Many did not survive, either
because they died in the system or the trauma they experienced eventually ended in
their deaths years later. Those who remain survived.
8 It is important to understand that the outpouring of survivor testimonies is a very
recent phenomenon. For so long, survivors often did not discuss their experiences.
In the 1980's, there was some limited recognition of how deeply these experiences had
impacted both survivors and their families, and slowly people started talking about it.
9 Between 1986 and 1994, various churches issued apologies for their role in
residential schools. In 1996, the Royal Commission on Aboriginal Peoples (RCAP)
released its final report, addressing residential schools in volume one, chapter 10. In
1998, the Canadian government made a Statement of Reconciliation and established
the Aboriginal Healing Foundation (AHF) to manage a healing fund of $350 million.
10 Throughout this time, survivor stories began to trickle in, at first during AHF
funded healing circles. After a while, it became common for survivors to publicly
relate some of their experiences at almost any Indigenous conference or gathering.
These testimonials were often spontaneous, provided not by panelists, but, more
often, by people in the audience. You never really knew when it was going to come up,
but as I got older, it came up more and more. Survivors were breaking their silence,
many of them for the first time. There was no dedicated forum to tell these stories, so
they could spill out anywhere. A trickle became a steady flow.
11 Because I have heard so many accounts over the years, I often forget that, up
until recently, most Canadians knew next to nothing about residential schools. In
2005, a miniseries called Into the West was produced in the United States, and was
fairly popular in Canada. Episode 5 introduced viewers to the infamous Carlisle
Indian Industrial School in the United States.
12 All of a sudden, through television, residential schools entered the public
consciousness in a way that official reports and statements hadn’t been able to
accomplish. The experiences portrayed in that episode were being discussed in
cafes, online in debate forums—everywhere. It was in 2005 that I realized just how

428 Unit5 Major Readings NEL

 hidden these experiences had remained, despite the fact Indigenous people had
been telling their painful stories for decades by that point.
13 I certainly wasn’t the only one who entered these discussions and pointed out
the same had been done in Canada. I must have given an overview of residential
school history hundreds of times in the next few months. It still boggles my mind to
remember the shock on people’s faces. Non-Indigenous faces, mind you. I silently
asked so many times, “How did you not know this?!” But, of course, they didn’t. This
was still three years before Canada’s official apology.
14 Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m overstating the impact of a television series. But
for me, it marked the beginning of a wider awareness that has only continued to gain
momentum with the 2008 apology, the Indian Residential Schools Settlement, and
the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada’s work.

Glossary
dispassionate: free from the effect of strong emotion
trite: commonplace; unoriginal; stale
phenomenon: something remarkable

Comprehension Questions
1. What is meant by the poem at the beginning ofthe piece?

2. When did the last residential school close, according to statistics in Vowel’s piece?

3. Despite the fact that Vowel is not a survivor of the residential schools, how does
she say she has been affected by the issue?

4. Where should the reader get information about what happened in the residential
schools, according to the author?

5. What is Vowel’s definition, in her words, for “historic trauma transmission”? How
wy
if

would you paraphrase her definition?

Questions about Form

1. What is the effect of including the poem at the beginning of this piece?

2. What is the effect of the bulleted facts that immediately follow the poem?

3. Inthe first full paragraph of this piece, Vowel writes, “none is more difficult.” Why is
and not are?

4. The author chooses not to discuss the things that happened in the residential
schools in this piece. Was this a good idea? Why or why not?

Questions for Discussion

1. Is the answer to question 2 under “Comprehension Questions” a shocking one?
Why or why not?

N in paragraph 10, Vowel writes, “Survivors were breaking their silence, many of
them for the first time.’ Why do you think some survivors of the residential schools

Chelsea Vowel Monster 429

NEL
 stayed silent for so long? Why only now do they begin to tell their stories? Discuss
a situation in which people, Indigenous or non-Indigenous, might suffer similar
reactions to other traumatic experiences.

In paragraph 11, Vowel mentions an American TV miniseries called Into the

West. How does Vowel say this series influenced Canadians? And what does
this suggest about American pop culture in Canada? Is American pop culture
always a good thing? Why or why not? Include certain specific examples in your
discussion.

Writing Ideas
1 In a paragraph or an essay, compare and/or contrast the poem at the beginning of
Vowel’s piece with the poem written by Rita Joe.

The author mentions the term “historic trauma transmission” in paragraph 4. Write
a paragraph or an essay on how this term might apply to your life whether the
issue is residential schools or something entirely different.

Do some research on what actually happened inside of the residential schools.

How might these experiences have resulted in the issues facing Indigenous
people in Canada today?

430 Unit 5 Major Readings NEL

Unit VI Appendices
Appendix A Distinguishing
ee _ between Words Often
Confused
‘ Appendix B Answer Key to Practices

Online Appendices
Go to nelson.com/student and see the
Student Companion site for The Canadian
% Writer's Workplace, Ninth Edition.
- Appendix C_ Solving Spelling
: ae Problems
~ Appendix Irregular Verbs
 = Distinguishing
~) ° °
' ' .

™ between Words
Bs

, Often Confused

allowed (verb) permitted

aloud (adv.) out loud

Examples:
The boy was finally allowed to stay up late.
Her question was stated aloud for all to hear.

altar (noun) an elevated place or table for religious rites

alter (verb) to change or adjust

Examples:
The altar was decorated for the church service.
If you alter the plans, they won’t work out.

a part (noun) a piece of something that forms the whole of something

apart (adv.) separately; into pieces

Examples:
They did everything to become a part of their children’s lives.
The baby ripped the box apart.

432 NEL
 aural (adj.) having to do with the ear or hearing
oral (adj.) having to do with the mouth or speech

Examples:
I have poor aural skills because I won’t listen.
The history of the First Nations is kept alive through their oral traditions.

brake (verb) to stop

(noun) a device used for slowing or stopping
break (verb) to smash, crack, or come apart
(noun) a crack, severing; an interruption, change

Examples:
Apply the brake when you want to stop.
You'll have to break the lock to get in.
Give me a break!

capital (ad7j.) chief; major; fatal

(noun) leading city; money
capitol (noun) a building in which a U.S. state legislature assembles

Examples:
Ottawa is the capital of Canada.
The capitol building for the New York state legislature is in Albany.

chord (noun) three or more musical tones sounded together; harmony

cord (noun) a small rope of twisted strands; any ropelike structure; a
unit of cut fuel wood

Examples:
Many guitar chords are easy to play.
A strong cord is needed to tie the bundle together.

close (verb) to shut

clothes (noun) garments
cloth (noun) fabric; a piece of material

NEL Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 433

 Examples:
Close the door and keep the cold out.
T-shirts are our favourite type of summer clothes.
His coat was made of cloth, not leather.

coarse (ad).) rough; not fine; common or of inferior quality

course (noun) direction or path of something moving; part of a meal;
a school subject

Examples:
Coarse sandpaper is used to make a rough finish.
One course I’m taking this year is English grammar.

complement (noun) something that completes or makes up a whole

(verb) to complete; to supplement, enhance
compliment (noun) an expression of praise
(verb) to give praise

Examples:
A blue blazer complements grey slacks.
Good work deserves a compliment.

complementary (adj.) complementing, often completing a pair or group of things

that go together
complimentary (adj.) expressing a compliment; given free as a favour

Examples:
Along with the textbook, he assigned the complementary study guide.
I have complimentary tickets to the game.

fair (adj.) unbiased; light colour; free of clouds; promising; lovely

(noun) an exhibition; regional event; market
fare (noun) a charge for transportation; food
(verb) get along; do

Examples:
A pink sunset means a fair day will follow.
The train fare is increasing yearly.

434 Unit6 Appendices

 flour (noun) the powder produced by grinding a grain
flower (noun) a blossom of a plant
(verb) to blossom

Examples:
Wheat flour is used to make bread.
Tulips flower in early spring.

for (prep.) directed to; in the amount of; on behalf of; to the extent of
(conj.) because |
four (noun, adj.) number
forty (adj.) Notice that this number is spelled differently from four,
fourteen, or twenty-four.
fore (noun, adj.) situated near the front

Examples:
This gift is for you.
There are four people in attendance.
His ideas came to the fore at work.

forth (adv.) onward in time, place, or order

fourth (noun, adj.) number

Examples:
Go forth from this place.
She is fourth in line for tickets.

forward (verb) to send on to another address

(ad).) bold; progressive
(adv.) moving toward the front
foreword (noun) introduction to a book; preface

Examples:
Move forward so you can hear the speaker.
The foreword to a book is sometimes called the preface.

grate (verb) to shred; to annoy or irritate

(noun) a metal grill
grateful (adj.) appreciative
great (ad).) large; significant; excellent; powerful; skillful; first-rate

NEL
Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 435
 Examples:
Her negative attitude grates on my nerves.
Winning the prize was a great achievement.

it’s contraction of it is
its possessive form of it

Examples:
It’s a nice day today.
The bush has all of its new buds.

knew (verb) past tense of know

new (ad).) not old

Examples:
The student knew the correct answer.
His new car is this year’s model.

know (verb) to understand

no (adv.) a negative response
(adj.) not any; not one

Examples:
You would know the work if you had studied.
Having no money means that you are poor.

pain (noun) suffering

pane (noun) a panel of glass

Examples:
A cut finger can cause a great deal of pain.
Windows contain panes of glass.

passed (verb) the past tense of to pass—to move ahead

past (noun) time before the present
(prep.) beyond
(adj.) no longer current

436 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Examples:
I passed the exam and moved to the next grade.
I was past the exit before I noticed that I had missed it.

patience (noun) calm endurance; tolerant understanding

patients (noun) persons under medical treatment

Examples:
Waiting for someone usually takes patience.
Patients in hospitals often are very ill.

peace (noun) absence of war, calm

piece (noun) a portion, a part

Examples:
Peace came when the war was over.
His piece of cake was huge.

plain (adj.) simple; ordinary; unattractive; clear

(noun) a flat, treeless land region
plane (noun) an aircraft; a flat, level surface; a carpenter’s tool for
levelling wood; a level of development

Examples:
The flat plain stretched for miles without a tree.
I used a plane to make the wood smooth.

presence (noun) the state of being present; a person’s manner

presents (noun) gifts
(verb) (third person singular) to introduce; to give a gift

Examples:
The presence of the teacher kept the students quiet.
Presents are given on birthdays.

principal (ad).) most important; chief; main

(noun) the head of a school; a sum of money
principle (noun) rule or standard

NEL
Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 437
 Examples:
The principal rule is the most important guideline.
There are principles of conduct to be followed at school.

rain (noun, verb) water falling to earth in drops

reign (noun, verb) a period of rule for a king or queen
rein (noun) a strap attached to a bridle, used to control a horse

Examples:
A good rain will soak the crops.
The monarch’s reign extended for many years.
To control a horse, learn how to use the reins.

raise (verb) to move upward; to awaken; to increase; to collect

(noun) an increase in salary
rays (noun) thin lines or beams of radiation
raze (verb) to tear down or demolish

Examples:
A raise in pay often rewards good work.
The sun’s rays contain harmful radiation.
The old building was razed to the ground.

sight (noun) the ability to see; a view

site (noun) the plot of land where something is located; the place of an
event
cite (verb) to quote as an authority or example

Examples:
Some people with perfect sight don’t see clearly.
The opera house’s site is between two theatres.
I can cite my grammar text as my authority.

stair (noun) one of a flight of steps

stare (noun, verb) a fixed gaze; to look at insistently

Examples:
Each stair climbed brings you farther up the steps.
A steady gaze can be considered a stare.

438 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 stake (noun) a post sharpened at one end to drive into the ground; an
interest or concern, especially but not restricted to financial
(verb) to attach or support; to set limits with a stake
steak (noun) a cut of meat, usually beef

Examples:
My stake in the profits amounted to a quarter share.
I like my steak well done and thick.

stationary (adj.) standing still

stationery (noun) writing paper and envelopes

Examples:
Anything that is stationary does not move.
Stationery can be written upon.

they’re contraction of they are

their possessive
there at that place

Examples:
They're a happy couple.
This antique is their prized possession.
I'll meet you over there, behind the store.

to (prep.) in a direction toward

to (+ verb) the infinitive form of a verb
too (adv.) also; excessively; very
two (noun) number

Examples:
Go to school.
To see is to believe.
I, too, am going to the party.
Two is one more than one.

vain (adj.) conceited; unsuccessful

vane (noun) a plate of wood or metal, often in the shape of a rooster,
that pivots to indicate the direction of the wind; the
weblike part of a feather

Appendix A__ Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 439

NEL
 vein (noun) a blood vessel; the branching framework of a leaf;
an occurrence of an ore; a strip of colour; a streak;
a transient attitude

Examples:
A vain person spends much time in front of a mirror.
The vane on the roof tells the wind direction.
Veins in your body contain blood.

waist (noun) the middle portion of a body, garment, or object

waste (verb) to use thoughtlessly or carelessly
(noun) objects discarded as useless

Examples:
A belt around your waist holds your pants up.
Excess packaging contains much waste.

wait (verb) to remain inactive

weight (noun) the measure of the heaviness of an object

Examples:
Remain here and wait for my arrival.
My weight goes up every time I eat.

ware (noun) an article of commerce

wear (verb) to have on
(noun) deterioration as a result of use
where (adv.) at or in what place

Examples:
You can sell your wares at the flea market.
What clothes will you wear?
He asked where the museum could be found.

weather (noun) atmospheric conditions

whether (conj.) if it is the case that

Examples:
The weather report calls for rain.
She will go whether I go or not.

440 Unit6 Appendices

 whole (adj.) complete
hole (noun) an opening

Examples:
A pie is whole before it is sliced and served.
Holes in the road need to be filled in.

who’s contraction of who is

whose possessive

Examples:
Who’s going for pizza?
Whose garbage can is blocking the driveway?

wood (noun) the tough tissue from trees

would (verb) past tense of will

Examples:
Most paper is made from wood fibre.
He would go, he said, if he could find a ride.

write (verb) to form letters and words; to compose

right (adj.) conforming to justice, law, or morality; correct; toward a
conservative political point of view
(noun) that which is just, morally good, legal, or proper;
a direction; a political group whose policies are
conservative
(adv.) directly; well; completely; immediately
rite (noun) a traditional, solemn, and often religious ceremony

Examples:
Write a letter to your aunt.
You should always try to do what is right.
Last rites were said over the dying person.

yoke (noun) a harness fastening two or more animals together; a form

of bondage
yolk (noun) the yellow of an egg

NEL
Appendix A __ Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 441
 Examples:
Animals in a team are joined by a yoke.
Some diners like their eggs cooked without the yolks broken.

yowre contraction of you are

your possessive

Examples:
You're my best friend.
Take your gift to the party.

Words That Sound or Look Almost Alike

Some words are often confused with other words that sound or look almost the same.
Learning to spell these words correctly involves a careful study of pronunciations
along with meanings.
Pronunciation Meaning
accept aas in pat verb: to receive; to admit; to regard
as true or right
except the first e as in pet prep.: other than; but; only

Examples:
I accepted the parcel from the courier.
Everyone was there except the two of us.

access a as in pat noun: a means of approaching; the

right to enter or make use of
excess the first e as in pet noun: a quantity or amount beyond
what is required

Examples:
Access to the files will provide you with information.
Overeating is an unnecessary excess.

adapt the second aasin pat verb: to adjust

adopt o as in mop verb: to legally take another’s child
and raise him or her as his or her
own; to choose to take a course of
action

442 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Examples:
She has adapted to the workload in college.
They adopted a friendly tone.
Janice was adopted by her parents when she was a baby.

advice Pronounce -ice noun: opinion as to

like the word ice. what should be done about a problem
advise Pronounce -ise verb: to suggest; to counsel
like eyes. the word

Examples:
My best advice is to accept the offer.
I advise you to do what is right.

affect aas in about verb: to influence

effect the first e as the e noun: result
in pet or 7in pit verb: to bring about a result

Examples:
I can affect his decision with my advice.
The effect of the rain was to cancel the game.

allusion aas in about noun: an indirect reference

illusion the first 7 as in pit noun: a mistaken concept or belief

Examples:
An allusion was made to my great intelligence.
It is an illusion to think you will get rich without working.

breath ea as the e in pet noun: the air that is inhaled or

exhaled in breathing
breathe the ea as the e in be verb: to inhale and exhale air

Examples:
You can see your breath on the window on a cold day.
Breathe deeply and inhale the clean country air.

clothes o as the oe in toe noun: garments; wearing apparel

cloths o as the aw in paw noun: pieces of fabric

NEL
Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 443
 Examples:
The clothes you are wearing are fashionable.
Pieces of cloth can be torn from the fabric to make rags.

conscience kon’ shince (two noun: recognition of right and

syllables) wrong
conscientious k6nshéen’shas (four adj.: careful;
syllables) thorough
conscious k6n’ shas (two adj.: awake; aware of one’s own
syllables) existence

Examples:
My conscience told me to do the right thing.
I conscientiously performed my duty to the best of my ability.
She was conscious of the fact that he was behind her.

costume oasin pot,uastheou noun: a special style of dress for a

in you particular occasion
custom u as in cut, o as in noun: a common tradition
gallop

Examples:
The costume he wore reflected his Ukrainian heritage.
It is our custom to wash our hands before eating.

council ou as in out noun: a group that governs

counsel verb: to give advice
noun: a lawyer; advice
consul Oo as in pot noun: a governmental official in the
foreign service

Examples:
The town council passed a bylaw.
Good counsel is advice well received.
Canada has a consul in many foreign countries.

desert di zurt’ verb: to abandon

1 as in pit noun: something deserved (often
plural)
dessert dez’ ert noun: barren land
the first e as in pet noun: last part of a meal, often a
di zurt’ sweet
1 as in pit

444 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Examples:
The desert is usually a hot, arid place.
He got his just deserts.
Our family usually eats dessert following dinner.

diner 7as the ie in pie noun: a person eating dinner; a

restaurant with a long counter and
booths
dinner 7as in pit noun: chief meal of the day

Examples:
A diner is a place where meals are served.
Dinner is usually eaten in the early evening.

emigrate 1 e as in pet verb: leave one’s country or region to

emigrant settle in another
noun: someone who leaves a country to
settle in another country
immigrate the firstiasin pit — verb: to come into a country
immigrant noun: someone who enters a country to
settle there

Examples:
Many people decided to emigrate from Ireland during the famine.
Immigrants to our country bring valuable skills.

farther aas in father adj., adv.: greater physical or

measurable distance
further u as in urge adj., adv.: greater mental distance;
more distant in time or degree;
additional

Examples:
Montreal is farther than Toronto from Windsor.
We drew further apart in our approach to the problem.

hanged past tense v. of to hang: to be executed (He was hanged at

dawn.)
Incorrect: He hung himself.
hung past tense v. of to hang: to secure to be supported from above
(but NOT in the case of execution or suicide).
Correct: He hung the running shoes on the telephone wire to inform
his clients of the exact location of the crack house.

NEL
Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 445
 local lo’ kal adj.: relating or peculiar to a place
aas in about
locale lo kal’ noun: a place, scene, or setting, as of
a as in pat a novel

Examples:
Everyone here goes to the local school on the next block.
Our town was the locale for a movie.

moral mor’ al adj.: a sense of right and wrong

aas in about noun: the lesson of a story, fable, or
event
morale mo ral’ noun: the attitude or spirit of a
a as in pat person or group of people

Examples:
The moral of the story taught us never to cheat.
Their morale was shown by their enthusiasm for their jobs.

personal per’ son al adj.: pertaining to a particular person

personnel per son nel’ noun: the people employed by an
organization; an administrative
division of an organization
concerned with the employees

Examples:
The matter is a personal one between him and me.
Most of the plant’s personnel were laid off.

precede the first e as the vin pit verb: to come before

proceed the o as the oe in toe verb: to continue

Examples:
You go first and precede me down the hall.
Proceed with the story you started yesterday.

quiet qui et adj.: silent

tastheieinpie,eas noun: silence
in pet
quit 1 as in pit verb: to give up; to stop
quite Las the ie in pie; adv.: somewhat; completely; truly
the e is silent

446 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Examples:
It was a quiet night when no sound could be heard.
Quit what you are doing and start something else.
It is quite true that I am guilty.

receipt the first e as the 7 in noun: a bill marked as paid; the act
pit, eiasintheeinbe; of receiving something
the p is silent
recipe the first e as in pet, the noun: a formula for preparing a
1 like the a in about. mixture, especially in cooking
the final e as in be

Examples:
The receipt for the dinner was marked “paid.”
The recipe calls for more chocolate in the cookies.

special spésh’ al adj.: exceptional; distinctive

especially Notice the extra adv.: particularly syllable at the
beginning.

Examples:
She was a special person, one of a kind.
It is especially important to file an income tax return.

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Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 447

NEL
 stickup with the accent onthe —_noun: (informal): armed robbery,
word “stick” with a gun
stick up with the accent onthe __ verb: to rob, especially at gunpoint;
word “up” to support

Examples:
The man pointed his gun and yelled, “This is a stickup!”
She planned to stick up the convenience store.
She would always stick up for others.

than a as in pat conj.: used to make a comparison

then e as in pet adv.: at that time; in that case

Examples:
She is smarter than I am.
It was then that I made up my mind.

thorough the firstoastheuin adj.: all that is needed; fully done

urge, ou as the oe
in toe
though ou as the oe in toe conj.: despite the fact
thought ouastheawinpaw _ verb: past tense of “to think”
through ou as the oo in boot prep. used to indicate entrance at
one side and exit from the other;
finished
threw sounds like through _ verb: past tense of “to throw”

Note: Thru is only an informal spelling for the word through. Do not use it in formal
writing.

Examples:
The thorough investigation found a hidden clue.
It’s not true, though, that I told a lie.
He thought of the answer before he spoke.
Go through that exit to get outside.
He threw the ball as far as he could.

Words That Sound or Look Almost Alike: sit/set; rise/raise; lie/lay

These six verbs are among the most troublesome in English because each is similar
in sound, spelling, and meaning to another verb. Since they are all often confused,
students must be careful to learn to spell the principal parts correctly. The key to
learning how to use the verbs sit, rise, and lie is to remember that these are actions

448 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 the subject can do without any help; no other person or thing has to be included in
the sentence. When you use the verbs set, raise, and lay in a sentence, the actions
of these verbs are done to other persons or objects; these persons or things have to be
included directly in the sentence. For example, when you use the verb to sit, all you
need is a subject and a form of the verb:

I sit.

When you use the verb to set, however, you need a subject, a form of the verb,
and an object.

I set the glass on the table.

The subject J and the verb set are followed by the object glass, which is what the
subject set on the table.

sit: to take a sitting position set: to place something

never takes an object into position always
takes an object
Present: | sit. I set the glass down.
Present participle: | am sitting. I am setting the glass
down.
Past: | sat. I set the glass down.
Past participle: | have sat. I have set the glass
down.
rise: to stand up; to move raise: to make something
upward never takes an move up or grow;
object always takes an object
Present: | rise. I raise the flag.
Present participle: The sun is rising. I amraising the flag.
Past: He rose at eight o’clock. I raised the flag.
Past participle: [ have risen early today. I have raised the flag.

The verbs lie and lay are easily confused because two of their principal parts have
the same spelling. It takes concentration to learn to use these two verbs correctly.

lie: to recline never takes an lay: to put; always takes

object an object

Preseni: | lie down. I lay the pen down.

Present participle: 1 am lying down. I am laying the pen
down.

Past: Yesterday I lay down. I laid the pen down.

Past participle: | have lain down. I have laid the pen
down.

The verb lie can also be a regular verb meaning “to tell an untruth.” The principal
parts of this verb are lie, lying, lied, has lied.

NEL
Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 449
Words That Sound or Look Almost Alike: choose/chose; lose/loose; lead/led; die/dye
These verbs are often misspelled because there is confusion about how to spell the
vowel sounds of the verbs. Study the spelling of the principal parts below.

Present Present Participle Past Past Participle

choose choosing chose has chosen
lose losing lost has lost
lead leading led has led
die dying died has died

Notes:

» Loose is an adjective meaning “not tightly fitted.” Remember, it rhymes with

goose. Lose is the verb. (He stood to lose everything.)
« Lead can also be a noun meaning a bluish-grey metal. Remember, it rhymes with
head.
- Lead is NOT the past tense form of to lead. This is a very common mistake. The
past form of to lead is led (no a).
« Dye is another verb meaning “to colour.” Its principal parts are dye, dyeing,
dyed, has dyed.

Words That Sound or Look Almost Alike: use/used; suppose/supposed

To use means to bring or put into service; to make use of.

Present: — [| use my brother’s bike to get to school.

Past: Yesterday, I used my father’s car.

Use to means to have as a custom or regular practice in the past. It usually occurs in
its past form, used to:

I used to take the bus downtown, but now I get a ride with my
neighbour.

Note, however, that in expressions with the auxiliary did, you use the present form:

Did you use to take the bus?

A form of to be + used to means to be familiar with or accustomed to.

I am used to walking to school.

To suppose means to guess.

Present: I suppose he is trying.

Past: supposed he was trying.

450 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 A form of to be + supposed to means ought to or should.

Waiters are supposed to be courteous.

Many people have difficulty knowing when to choose used and supposed in their
writing because, in speaking, the final d is often not clearly heard.

Incorrect: — Tamsuppose to be in school today.

Correct: lam supposed to be in school today.

Words That Are Similar in Meaning but Do Not Look or Sound Alike: fewer/less; good/
well; many/much

fewer (countable): He has fewer properties than he had five years ago.
Incorrect: He has less properties. (Properties can be counted.)
less (non-countable): = The farm animals were given less food than ever before.
(Food cannot be counted.)

i)

q)

Goddard
Clive

goed (adjective): It was a good day for the tennis tournament.

well (adverb): She had done well in her exams.

NEL Appendix A Distinguishing between Words Often Confused 451

 Snapshots

"Can you believe | got a 'C' in English?

And | was doing so good!"
Love/Cartoonstock.com
Jason

many (countable): There were many students in the room. (Students can
be counted.)
Incorrect: There were much students in the room.
much (non-countable): She had gained so much self-esteem that she couldn't give
up now. (Self-esteem is non-countable.)

452 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Answer Key to
Practices

[o> . Inthe rtins ofthis eity, scientists have found

fragments to piece together the mystery ofthe
Chapter 2: Recognizing Subjects and Verbs
past.
Finding the Subject of a Sentence 7. How could this civilization have survived this
hostile environment and become so advanced?
PRACTICE 1 (p. 16)

1. The car had a red stripe on it.

=
Finding Action Verbs
2. Carly Page decided to apply for the job posting.
PRACTICE 3 (Pp. 22)
3. The young girl liked to read a lot.
4. Strange sounds filled her ears. 1. Some people very strange objects.
5. A mother and her three children shared a lunch. (present)
6. The battered red taxi idled outside. », One man {saved )the fortunes from fortune cookies.
7. A light rain had fallen recently. (past)
. A group of people inAtberta often to discuss
Finding Hidden Subjects their spark plug collections. (past)
4. People in Branden, Manitoba (will gather) many
PRACTICE 2 (p. 21)
types of barbed wire. (future)
1. (You) look at a map of South America. 5- Collectors pride in the possession of unusual
2. Where is the ancient city ef Chan Chan? items. (present)
2, Here onthe coastal desert of northern Pert stand A collection, tke odd reeks ortinigre automobiles,
the remains of this city of the kings. will let)a person express his or her individuality.
4. Chan Chan, onee the
fabuloustywealthy
centre- (future)
eftheChimer, is situated in one of the driest, 7. Collections( keep) us entertained fremrehiidheodto-
bleakest regions in the world. old-age. (present)
=. It was the largest pre-Columbian city #rSeuth-
Ameriea.

NEL
Chapter Review Exercises other victims of the disease when he practised surgery
in Montreal. He also invented or redesigned twelve
Finding Subjects and Verbs in Simple Sentences
medical and surgical instruments. Bethune travelled to
PRACTICE 4 (p. 25) Russia in 1935, joined the Communist Party, and went
to Spain in 1936, where he organized the first mobile
1. Mother and Dad always me for any trouble
blood transfusion service during the Spanish Civil War.
with my sister.
After returning to Canada, he shortly left for overseas
2. My sister, the most popular girl in her class,
again, this time to China, where he helped the Chinese
two years older than I.
Communists in their fight against Japan. “Spain and
3. Yesterday, ferinstanee; she her new
China,” he wrote, “are part of the same battle.” While
graduation dress.
there, he contracted an infection and died. Mao’s
4. Helpfully, I (took out) her new shoes and purse
essay “In Memory of Norman Bethune,” prescribed
for her.
reading during China’s Cultural Revolution, urges all
5. Margaret instantly(became) furious withme.
Communists to follow Bethune’s example of selfless
6.1 only (Sharing )Margaret’s excitement about
dedication to others. Bethune is the best-known
her new clothes.
Canadian to the Chinese, and many Chinese visit his
Canadian birthplace.
Chapter 3: Solving Verb Problems
Correcting Unnecessary Shifts in Verb Tense Using the Correct Tense

PRACTICE 1 (p. 33) PRACTICE 3 (p. 35)

Answers will vary. These are sample answers. . have stopped
. would have
1. After I complete that writing course, I will take the
. will buy
required history course.
. had never been
2. In the beginning of the movie, the action was slow;
. liked
by the end, I was sitting on the edge of my seat.
. will soon be
3. The textbook gives the rules for writing a works
w=
hb
bw 5 ie
Naum
cited page, but it doesn’t explain how to use
parenthetical references.
Choosing the Right Voice
4. I was walking in the park when all of a sudden I
saw her running toward me. PRACTICE 4 (p. 40)
5. The encyclopedia gave several pages of
1. Two billion dollars was made by the latest Marvel
information about astronomy, but it didn’t give superhero movie.
anything about black holes.
The active is more appropriate.
6. The invitation requested that Juan be at the
2. Audiences everywhere enjoyed the movie.
ceremony and that he attend the banquet as well.
The passive ts probably just as appropriate as the
7. That website gives you excellent information, but it active here.
is too cluttered.
3. The action-packed scenes were liked by the
audiences.
PRACTICE 2 (p. 34)
The active is more appropriate.
Doctor Norman Bethune grew up in Gravenhurst, 4. The movie had many celebrities in it.
Ontario. He was educated in Toronto and served as The active is more appropriate.
a stretcher bearer in World War I. He contracted 5. Endgame was the name of the final Avengers movie.
tuberculosis and thereafter devoted himself to helping The passive is more appropriate.

454 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 6. Iron Man’s death was sad. 5. is
The passive is more appropriate. 6. are
7. The end of the movie made audiences cheer. ais
The active voice is more appropriate.
PRACTICE 4 (p. 48)
Chapter Review Exercises 1. is
Solving Problems with Verbs a
3. seem
PRACTICE 5 (p. 42) Aweles

1. He ought not to drive so fast. or He shouldn’t drive 5. has

so fast.
2. It is essential that Lynn take her dog to the vet. PRACTICES (-48)
3. I wish I were a chef. 1. are
4. She sang for a huge crowd Saturday night. 2. is
5. I was shaken up by the accident. or The accident 3. are
shook me up. 4. are
6. The skiers climbed the hill. 5. is
7. My father asked me last night to help him build
a deck. PRACTICE 6 (p. 49)
1. are
Chapter 4: Subject-Verb Agreement eae
Making the Subject and Verb Agree 3. has
4. have
PRACTICE 1 (p. 45)
5. claps
1. cycles
Ay ee PRACTICE 7 (p. 49)

3- vary 1. do
4. cheer 2. were
5. hope 3. does
4. do
PRACTICE 2 (p. 46) See

1. are
2. move Chapter Review Exercises

Stern Making the Subject and Verb Agree

4. are
5. are PRACTICE 8 (p. 50)

1. doesn't
PRACTICE 3 (p. 47)
2. were
1. is 3. doesn’t
2. has 4. Were
2,18 5. doesn’t
4. specifies

NEL Appendix B Answer Key to Practices 455

PRACTICE 9 (p. 50) 1. People once preferred to write with a pen or
pencil; however, the computer has now become a
1. price, has
favourite writing tool.
2. decision, requires
2. Computers provide a powerful way to create and
3. She, doesn’t
store pieces of writing; furthermore, they make the
4. guide or security guard, sees
editing process fast and efficient.
5. committee, agrees
3. Computers have revolutionized today’s offices;
6. Potato chips and cola, are
consequently, no business is without them.
7. One, is
4. Computers have become relatively inexpensive;
accordingly, most people own a computer.
Chapter 5: Coordination and
5. Many children know more about computers
Subordination
than many adults; moreover, many children are
Recognizing the Comma and Coordinating teaching adults how to operate computers.
Conjunction 6. Professional writers use the computer all the time

PRACTICE 1 (pp. 51-52) to write and edit; nonetheless, there are still some
writers who will use only a ballpoint pen.
1. The audience was packed into the room(, for) this 7. We have many technological aids for writing;
was a man with an international reputation. nevertheless, let us not forget that the source of all
2. He could have told about all his successes our ideas is the human brain.
instead he spoke about his disappointments.
3. His words were electric the crowd was Recognizing Dependent and Independent
attentive. Clauses
4. I should
have brought a tape recorder(, or)at least
I should
have taken notes.
PRACTICE 4 (pp. 64-65)
1. DC Bs IC
Recognizing the Semicolon, Adverbial 2. DC 6. DC
Conjunction, and Comma 21 cl Ww,
4. DC
PRACTICE 2 (pp. 58-59)

1. The restaurant is always too crowded on Combining Sentences Using Subordination

Saturdays (, nevertheless, )it serves the best food PRACTICE 5 (p. 65)
in town.
2. The land was not for sale(; however, )the house Answers will vary. These are sample answers.
could
be rented. 1. While he was eating breakfast, the results of the
3. The lawsuit cost the company several million election came over the radio.
dollars(; consequently,) the company went out of 2. Simon gave up his plan to launch a tech company
business a short time later. because he felt it was too risky.
4. The doctor told him to lose weight 3. I will see my teacher tonight, as she is speaking at
she insisted he also stop smoking. the university this evening.
4. The designer hoped for a promotion, although not
Combining Sentences Using Adverbial one person in the department was promoted last
Conjunctions year.
PRACTICE 3 (pp. 59-60) 5. I love to eat ice cream, although chocolate cake is
better.
Answers will vary. These are sample answers.

456 Unit6 Appendices NEL

Combining Sentences Using a Relative Pronoun smashes against my bow, pushing me away from shore.
PRACTICE 6 (p. 68) As flecks of spray hit my face, I taste the salt on my
lips. With that taste of the sea, the beauty of the sea
Answers will vary. These are sample answers.
and shore strikes me. I am distracted from my labour
1. The chemistry lab that I attend is two hours long. and absorbed by the world around me. As my kayak
2. The student assistant who is standing by the door finally glides past the rocks to the sheltered beach
is very knowledgeable. beyond, I am exhilarated and exhausted.
3. The equipment that was purchased last year will
Chapter 6: Correcting Fragments
make possible some important new research.
Understanding Fragments
Recognizing Restrictive and Nonrestrictive PRACTICE 1 (pp. 77-78)
Clauses
1. a. Add a subject
PRACTICE 7 (p. 69)
2. b. Add a verb
1. Canada’s first census, which was taken in 1667, 3. c. Add a subject and a verb
showed 3215 non-Indigenous inhabitants in 668 4. b. Add a verb
families. 5. b. Add a verb
2. Most of the families who lived near the 6. a. Add a subject
St. Lawrence River were French Canadians. 7. d. Add or delete words to express a complete
3. By the time of Confederation, the population of thought.
the country had risen to 3 463 000, which was an
increase of 1077 percent over 200 years. Turning Fragments into Sentences
4. If the population of Canada, which is about PRACTICE 2 (p. 79)
37 500 OOO persons now, increases by a similar
percentage over the next 150 or so years, we'll have Answers will vary. These are sample answers.

a population of 280 200 000 by the year 2167. 1. The otter returned to the river.
5. Where do you think we will we put everyone who 2. A bird on the oak branch sang.
lives in Canada then? 3. The river flowed between the island and the
mainland.
Chapter Review Exercises 4. The hawk, in a soaring motion, flew into the sky.

Combining Sentences Using Coordination 5. The fishing boats on the lake glided over the
and Subordination water.
6. The loon dropped like a stone into the water.
PRACTICE 8 (p. 71) 7. Because the fisherman put the net away, the fish
Answers will vary. This is a sample paragraph. were safe at last.

The wind is strong; the waves are choppy and PRACTICE 3 (pp. 59-63)
growing larger. I paddle my kayak harder, but my arms
1. As long as it’s a windy day, we'll be able to fly the
are getting tired. As the energy drains from them, they
kite.
grow limp and heavy. The other side of the harbour
2. Into the forest, armed with my camping gear,
seems distant. The glow of the setting sun is behind
I trekked.
me, spreading orange and purple fingers across the
3. complete
sky. The wall of rocks that lies offshore picks up the
4. The college student jogged along a deserted and
last light of the setting sun, becoming a silver beacon.
dusty road.
I focus on that wall and paddle harder. The sea

NEL
Appendix B = Answer Key to Practices 457
 5. The meadow below is where the deer and the 3. a. She is going for a long drive on Tuesdays.
antelope play. b. She goes for a long drive on Tuesdays.
6. The groundhog was run over by three different c. Going for a long drive on Tuesdays, she met her
cars. best friend.
7. complete d. Going for a long drive on Tuesdays is tiring.

Identifying Phrases Recognizing Fragments

PRACTICE 4 (pp. 81-82) PRACTICE 7 (pp. p. 85)

. Infinitive . complete
. infinitive . fragment
. prepositional . fragment
. prepositional . fragment
. noun . complete
. noun . fragment
Be
WN
fb
NA. prepositional . complete
. fragment
PRACTICE 5 (p. 82) = . fragment
MPN
NK
BW
©
AN

. prepositional
_ fo) . fragment

. infinitive
. prepositional Editing for Fragments
. noun PRACTICE 8 (p. 85)
. verb
Fragments:
. prepositional
. infinitive And it was great
. verb Lots of anxious people
= . infinitive
ND
MN
©
BW
AT No one knew
= io) . prepositional Partying with abandon
Craziness
Correcting a Fragment That Contains a Participle
Sample corrected paragraph (answers will vary):
PRACTICE 6 (p. 84)
The Toronto Raptors won the 2019 NBA finals,
Answers will vary. These are sample answers. becoming the first non-American team to win the
1. a. He is climbing in the Rockies. title. It was great! Kawhi Leonard joined the team
. He climbs in the Rockies. this year and became a superstar for the Toronto
ey
ep . Climbing in the Rockies, he left his stereo Raptors. The last game was a nail-biter. There
behind. were a lot of anxious people. No one knew what
. Climbing in the Rockies is the thing to do. would happen next. First, the Raptors were in the
. He is playing video games. lead; then the Golden State Warriors were ahead.
. He plays video games. But in the end, they did it! The Raptors won!
. Playing video games, he didn’t hear the robbers. Everyone in Canada celebrated and partied with
&
=o
oa. Playing video games is time-consuming.
ea: abandon. It was a night no one would soon forget.

458 Unit6 Appendices NEL

Chapter 7: Correcting Run-Ons (c) Many young people manage to travel; they find
Correcting Run-Ons ways to do it cheaply.
Complex: (d) Many young people manage to travel
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 91-94)
because they find ways to do it cheaply.
Answers will vary. These are sample answers. 5. Simple: (a) The need for a proper diet is important
in any health program. All the junk food on the
1. Simple: (a) Five-year-old Davie asked Grandpa for
grocery shelves makes it hard to be consistent.
an iPod for his birthday. He started crying because
Compound: (b) The need for a proper diet is
Grandpa didn’t know what that was. important in any health program, yet all the junk
Compound: (b) Five-year-old Davie asked food on the grocery shelves makes it hard to be
Grandpa for an iPod for his birthday, but he consistent.
started crying because Grandpa didn’t know what (c) The need for a proper diet is important in any
that was. health program; however, all the junk food on the
(c) Five-year-old Davie asked Grandpa for an grocery shelves makes it hard to be consistent.
iPod for his birthday; however, he started crying Complex: (d) Even though the need for a proper
because Grandpa didn’t know what that was. diet is important in any health program, all the
Complex: (d) When five-year-old Davie asked junk food on the grocery shelves makes it hard to
Grandpa for an iPod for his birthday, he started be consistent.
crying because Grandpa didn’t know what that
was. PRACTICE 2 (pp. 94-96)
. Simple: (a) Many people are opposed to gambling
Answers will vary. These are sample answers.
in all its forms. They will not even buy a lottery
ticket. 1. Simple: (a) The airline has begun its new route to
Compound: (b) Many people are opposed to the islands. Everyone is looking forward to flying
gambling in all its forms, so they will not even buy there.
a lottery ticket. Compound: (b) The airline has begun its new route
(c) Many people are opposed to gambling in all to the islands, so everyone is looking forward to
its forms; indeed, they will not even buy a lottery flying there.
ticket. (c) The airline has begun its new route to the
Complex: (d) Since many people are opposed to islands; consequently, everyone is looking forward
gambling in all its forms, they will not even buy a to flying there.
lottery ticket. Complex: (d) Ever since the airline began its new
. Simple: (a) Hockey may be Canada’s national route to the islands, everyone has been looking
sport. The game can be quite brutal. forward to flying there.
Compound: (b) Hockey may be Canada’s national . Simple: (a) The movie begins at nine o'clock. Let’s
sport, but the game can be quite brutal. have dinner before the show.
(c) Hockey may be Canada’s national sport; Compound: (b) The movie begins at nine o'clock,
however, the game can be quite brutal. so let’s have dinner before the show.
Complex: (d) Although the game can be quite (c) The movie begins at nine o'clock; therefore,
brutal, hockey may be Canada’s national sport. let’s have dinner before the show.
. Simple: (a) Many young people manage to travel. Complex: (d) Since the movie begins at nine

They find ways to do it cheaply. o'clock, let’s have dinner before the show.

Compound: (b) Many young people manage to 3. Simple: (a) The studio audience screamed at the
travel, for they find ways to do it cheaply. contestant. They wanted her to try for the big prize.

Appendix B Answer Key to Practices 459

NEL
 Compound: (b) The studio audience screamed at culture refers to the existence of a creator. Also,
the contestant, for they wanted her to try for the the number of gods differs from one mythology
big prize. to another; nevertheless, every mythology has at
(c) The studio audience screamed at the least one god or one heroic figure in it. All in all,
contestant; they wanted her to try for the big prize. myths are incredible stories that, in many cases,
Complex: (d) The studio audience screamed at the have lasted thousands of years. No matter where
contestant because they wanted her to try for the they come from and what they are about, they bear
big prize. striking similarities from one culture to another,
4. Simple: (a) Maya needs new shoes. She is running and they all share a wisdom about something that
in the marathon. never changes: our human nature.
Compound: (b) Maya needs new shoes, for she is
running in the marathon.
PRACTICE 4 (pp. 96-97)
(c) Maya needs new shoes; she is running in the Every sentence in the paragraph is a run-on sentence.
marathon. Sample corrected paragraph (answers will vary):
Complex: (d) Since she is running in the marathon,
Sigmund Freud and Carl G. Jung were both
Maya needs new shoes.
psychiatrists who have had a great deal of
5. Simple: (a) My actor friend grabbed my arm. She
influence on the study of psychology to this day.
wanted to tell me about her new part in the movie.
For example, each psychiatrist is famous for his
Compound: (b) My actor friend grabbed my arm;
own model of the human psyche. In Freud’s model,
she wanted to tell me about her new part in the
there are three main parts. They are the ego, the
movie.
id, and the superego. In Jung’s model, there are
(c) My actor friend grabbed my arm, for she
also three main parts: the conscious, the personal
wanted to tell me about her new part in the movie.
unconscious, and the collective unconscious. Freud
Complex: (d) My actor friend grabbed my arm
(Jung’s teacher and subsequent collaborator until
because she wanted to tell me about her new part
they parted due to a major disagreement in 1912)
in the movie.
and Jung both believed that dreams come from
the unconscious part of our psyche (for Freud,
Editing for Run-Ons
this meant the id and superego); nevertheless,
PRACTICE 3 (p. 96) they disagreed a great deal in the area of dream
interpretation.
Every sentence in the paragraph is a run-on sentence.
Sample corrected paragraph (answers will vary):
Chapter 8: Parallel Structure
Mythology is the study of myths, and myths are
known as the oldest form of literature. The oldest Making Sentences Parallel
myths are creation myths. Cultures from around the PRACTICE 1 (p. 101)
world have their own creation myths. All of them
1. dirty
are amazingly similar despite the vast geographical
2. sewing her own clothes
distances between these cultures and the fact that
3. willingly explain material more than once
there are no known ways in which communication
could have taken place between certain ones. PRACTICE 2 (pp. 101-102)
Details of these myths change from one culture to
the next; however, various themes of the myths Answers will vary. These are sample answers.

remain the same. For example, although characters 1. Winter in Edmonton is very windy and bitterly cold.
(most of the time, but not all of the time) take on 2. I would prefer fixing an old car to watching
new names from one culture to another, every television.

460 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 Sy. Alex is a talented athlete, a top student, and even a 6. All the soccer players put effort into their game.
generous friend. 7 If the campers want to eat quickly, they should
4. The apartment is crowded and dark. help themselves.
5. The dancer is slender and graceful.
6. The trees were tall and leafy. Chapter 10: Modifiers: Misplaced and
7. My friend loves to play chess, to read science Dangling
fiction, and to work out at the gym.
Chapter Review Exercises

PRACTICE 3 (pp. 102-103) Revising Misplaced or Dangling Modifiers

Answers will vary. These are sample answers. PRACTICE 1 (p. 120)

i The dog had to choose between jumping over the Answers will vary. These are sample answers.
fence or digging a hole underneath it.
1. Wearing his tuxedo, Victor fed the dog.
. She was great at swimming, canoeing, and rock 2 . While we were visiting the Vancouver Aquarium,
climbing.
the otters entertained us.
. As I looked down the city street, I could see the soft . The toddler that ate her breakfast started singing
lights from restaurant windows, I could hear the cheerily.
mellow sounds of a nightclub band, and I could . A band that we had heard earlier was playing in
sense the carefree moods of people walking by. the park.
. The singers have been on several road tours, have . After running over the hill, I noticed that the farm
recorded for two record companies, and have was Visible in the valley below.
expressed a desire to make a movie someday. . The truck, which was broken down on the
. They would rather order a pizza than eat home highway, caused a traffic jam for kilometres.
cooking. . | saw three spiders hanging from the ceiling in my
. I explained to the teacher that my car had bedroom.
broken down, my books had been stolen, and my
assignment pad had been left at home. Chapter 11: Punctuation
. That night the prisoner was sick, discouraged, and
Insert Necessary Commas
lonely.
PRACTICE 1 (p. 124)

Chapter 9: Pronouns 1. Problems with the water supply of Canada, the

Chapter Review Exercises United States, Europe, and other parts of the world
are growing.
Making Pronouns and Antecedents Agree
. Water is colourless, tasteless, odourless, and free
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 114-115) of calories.
. You will use on an average day 90 litres of water
Answers will vary. These are sample answers.
for flushing, 120 litres for bathing and washing
1. The father mailed his son’s high school yearbook clothes, and 95 litres for other uses.
to him. . It took 450 litres of water to create the eggs you ate
. No one wants their income reduced. for breakfast, 13 250 litres to obtain the steak you
. When accompany fails to update its equipment, it might eat for dinner, and over 200 000 litres to
often pays a price in the long run. produce the steel used to make your car.
4. Graduates today have many more options open to . The English-Wabigoon river system runs through
them than ever before. Grassy Narrows, Ontario, and had become
5- Everybody knows his or her own strengths best. polluted with mercury.

Appendix B Answer Key to Practices

NEL
PRACTICE 2 (p. 125) PRACTICE 5 (p. 128)

1. The most overused bodies of water are our rivers, 1. Honey, I hope you’re not planning to wear that
but they continue to serve us daily. hat.
. Canadian cities often developed next to rivers, 2. I wonder, Samir, if the game has been cancelled.
and industries followed soon after in the same 3. Dad, could I borrow five dollars?
locations. 4. Can you help me, Doctor?
. The people of the industrial age can try to clean 5. Ayesha, is that you?
the water they use, or they can watch pollution
take over. PRACTICE 6 (p. 129)
. The Great Lakes are showing signs of renewal, 1. “I’m innocent,” he cried, “of all charges against me.’
)

yet the struggle against pollution in them must 2. He mumbled, “I won’t incriminate myself.”
continue. 3. “I was told,” the defendant explained, “to answer
. Most people have not been educated about the every question.”
dangerous state of our water supply, nor are all our 4. “This court,” the judge announced, “will be
members of Parliament fully aware of the problem. adjourned.”
5. “The jury,” said Al Tarvin of The Star, “was hand-
PRACTICE 3 (p. 126)
picked.”
1. A total solar eclipse, when the moon’s shadow
blots out the sun completely, is an outstanding PRACTICE 7 (p. 129)
cosmic event.
1. Kicking, the child was carried off to bed.
. Once you see your first solar eclipse, you start 2. To Maria, Suzuki was the boss from hell.
looking forward to the next one. 3. When you can, come and visit us.
. However, witnessing this spectacle takes planning
4. Whoever that is, is going to be surprised.
and the ability to travel to the best viewing
5. Skin cancer seldom kills, doctors say.
spots.
. In eastern Turkey, on August 11, 1999, a crowd of
Using the Apostrophe
astronomers and “eclipse chasers” watched the last
PRACTICE 8 (p. 133)
total eclipse of the millennium.
. At the moment of totality, people cheered, clapped, . boys’
and even cried. . their
. Moses’s or Moses’
PRACTICE 4 (p. 128)
. Antony and Maria’s
ate Natural disasters, I believe, have not been . nobody’s
historically significant. his
. They have, however, significantly affected the lives . 1700's or 17008
of many Canadians. It’s
. Canada’s worst coal mine disaster, at Hillcrest, DN. Vancouver’s
aNPwW
CN

Alberta, occurred on June 19, 1914. 1 o) . Wendy’s

. In Springhill, Nova Scotia, furthermore, 424
PRACTICE 9 (433-134)
persons were killed in the mines between 1881 and
1969. 1. Cherry’s
. Avalanches, storms, and floods, which are natural 2. geese’s
disasters, have also made their marks on the face 3. Carol’s and Tess’s
of our country.

462 Unit6 Appendices NEL

 4. somebody’s 4. The college offers four courses in English
5. hers literature: Romantic Poetry, Shakespeare’s Plays,
6. two’s The British Short Story, and The Modern Novel.
Taecary.t 5- Arriving at 6:15 in the morning, Marlene brought
me a sausage-and-cheese pizza, some ginger ale,
Insert Necessary Quotation Marks and a litre of ice cream.
PRACTICE 10 (p. 135)
Using Dashes or Parentheses
1. “The Hot House’ is one of the stories contained in
PRACTICE 13 (p. 139)
Rosemary Sullivan’s More Stories by Canadian
Women. 1. Herbert Simon is—and I don’t think this is an
2. Nellie McClung said, “I'll never believe I’m dead exaggeration—a genius.
until I see it in the papers.” . George Eliot (her real name was Mary Ann Evans)
Ge - no quotation marks needed wrote Silas Marner.
4. To “diss” is a slang term meaning to show i) . You should—in fact I insist—see a doctor.
disrespect. . Health Canada’s website has suggestions to help
5. She read the article “Whiz Kids” in The Review. smokers quit (visit.www.infotobacco.com).
oO . Mass media (television, radio, movies, magazines,
Using Semicolons and newspapers) are able to transmit information

PRACTICE 11 (p. 136) over a wide range and to a large number of people.

1. One of the best ways to remember a vacation is

Chapter Review Exercises
to take numerous photos; one of the best ways to
recall the contents of a book is to take notes. Punctuation Overview

2. The problem of street crime must be solved; PRACTICE 14 (p. 139)

otherwise, the number of vigilantes will
1. To measure crime, sociologists have used
increase.
three different techniques: official statistics,
3. The meal was composed of bruschetta, an
victimization surveys, and self-report studies.
appetizer; roast duck, the house specialty; and
. “David” is one of the best-loved poems of Earle
lemon mousse, a tart dessert.
Birney.
4. The bank president was very cordial; however, he
. That show uses one thing I hate: a laugh track.
would not approve the loan.
. Farley Mowat wrote numerous books for adults;
5. New methods of production are being used in the
however, he aiso wrote very popular books for
factories of Japan; eventually they will be common
children.
in this country as well.
. Tuberculosis (also known as consumption) has
been nearly eliminated by medical science.
Using Colons
. The Victorian period (1837-1901) saw a rapid
PRACTICE 12 (p. 137) expansion in industry.

1. These Canadian-born comedians have achieved

PRACTICE 15 (p. 140)
great success in the United States: Jim Carrey and
Mike Myers. 1. Some young people have two feelings about
2, The official has one major flaw in his personality: science and technology: awe and fear.
greed. 2. Mr. Doyle, the realtor; Mrs. Tong, the bank
3. no colons needed officer; and Ivan Petroff, the lawyer, are the

NEL
Appendix B Answer Key to Practices 463
 three people to help work out the real-estate 7. throughout: preposition, which starts the
transaction. prepositional phrase throughout his life
3. The book was entitled English Literature: The 8. his: possessive adjective modifying the noun ideas
Victorian Age. 9. was: helping verb to be in the past tense
4. “My computer,” she said, “has been crashing all 10. when: subordinate conjunction that begins a
day.” dependent clause
5. She brought a bathing suit, a towel, sunglasses, . often: adverb modifying the past tense verb led
and several books to the beach. (no colon after . the: definite article
brought) . right: adjective modifying the noun direction
6. The meeting to discuss a pay increase—I’ll . had: past tense of the irregular action verb to have
believe it when I see it—has been rescheduled . impending: adjective modifying the noun death
for Friday. . become: past participle of the irregular action verb
7. The complex lab experiment has these two major to become
problems: too many difficult calculations and too . a: indefinite article
many variables. . symbol: common noun
. properly: adverb modifying the verb understood
Chapter 12: Capitalization . only: adverb modifying from his inner
experiences
Capitalization
. outer: adjective modifying the noun world
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 145-146) . for: preposition, which begins the prepositional
phrase for him
. Italian
. he: pronoun in the subjective case
. Canadian Rockies
. could: modal auxiliary (helping verb)
Bible
. happenings: common abstract noun
. University of Alberta
. Hallowe’en
Editing Sentences for Errors
. Bell Canada, Friday, Winnipeg, Manitoba
. Cobalt-60, Canadian, Dr. Donald Green PRACTICE 2 (pp. 148-149)
Why
These are sample answers. There is more than one way
Anup
PD
Cru
w» . Canadian Auto Workers (union name; Canadian to correct many of these sentences.
auto workers also acceptable)
10. Women of the Klondike, North 1. Roma (also known as Gypsies or Romany Gypsies)
now are living in many countries of the world.

Chapter 13: Unit | Review: Using All You . The international community of scientists agrees

Have Learned that these Roma originally came from India

thousands of years ago.
identifying Parts of Speech . After the original Roma people left India, they
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 147-148) went to Persia; there they divided into groups.
. One branch of Roma went west to Europe, while
2. constant: adjective modifying the noun source
the other group decided to go east.
3. of: preposition, which starts the prepositional
o1 . In the Middle Ages ... Little Egypt.
phrase of creativity and inspiration
6.C
4. and: coordinating conjunction (one of the
. Today, Roma families may be found from Canada
FANBOYS) joining two items
to Chile, living much as their ancestors did
7] . him: pronoun in the objective case
thousands of years ago.
6. inspired: action verb in the past tense

464 Unit6 Appendices

PRACTICE 3 (pp. 149-150) 6. A student who goes to school full-time and also
These are sample answers. There is more than one way works part-time
to correct many of these sentences below. 7. The expense of skiing
8. The change that had come over my friend
1. The laser beam, a miracle of modern science, g. Current tax laws
already has many practical uses in today’s world. 10. Greek restaurants
2. Laser beams are narrow, highly concentrated
beams of light that burn brighter than the light of Finding the Controlling Idea
the sun.
PRACTICE 3 (p. 202)
3. Scientists have found many possible military uses
for the laser, but they are hoping these can be 1. Vigorous exercise is a good way to(reduce) the
converted into constructive uses. effect of on the body.
A.C 2. St. John’s and Corner Brook (differ Jinfour major
5. The possibility of making a laser was first ways.
described in 1958, and two years later, in 3. Many so-called wonder foods are (less than)
California, the first laser beam was created. wonderful).
6. Since they are so precise, laser beams are used in 4. The(number) of athletic scholarships available to
medicine to help make a specific diagnosis and Wome GSiG Scie
to perform operations such as repairing delicate 5. Caffeine has several (adverse effects} on the
retinas and removing cancerous tumours. body.
7. The future uses of the laser seem endless, and it 6. Madame Benoit, a famous gourmet cook, had an
is up to us to decide whether we want to use this amusing personality).
invention for war or for peaceful purposes. 7. Computers (will make newspapers obsolete) by
2020.

Unit Ill: The Writing Process

Avoid Restating the Topic Sentence
Chapter 19: The Paragraph PRACTICE 4 (210-211)
Finding the Topic Sentence of a Paragraph
1. a. SD b. R CoOD” do)
PRACTICE 1 (p. 200) 22a. SD b. SD c. R d. SD

1. Love is a crazy, complicated affair, made trickier

by the tangle of superstitions that go along with it. Chapter 20: The Essay
2. The brain is one of the most remarkable organs, Recognizing the Thesis Statement
a part of the body that we have only begun to
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 225-226)
investigate.
. thesis
Finding the Topic in the Topic Sentence . title
fact
PRACTICE 2 (p. 201)
. thesis
1. Remodelling an old house . title
2. College work and high school work act
3. A well-made suit =
DP
Bw. fact
TWAT
4. Growing up near a museum
5. My favourite room in the house

AppendixB Answer Key to Practices 465

NEL
Unit IV: Writing Strategies for the Recognizing the Two Methods

Paragraph and the Essay PRACTICE 2 (p. 310)

Chapter 26: Cause and Effect 1. block; differences

2. point-by-point; similarities
Looking for the Causal Relationship

PRACTICE 1 (pp. 296-297) Chapter 28: Process

th Coherence: Order in Logical Sequence
236
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 318-319)
Ook
A.C
UV Frl, On.27 Oy B71 OA4
5.C
6.T
Aa &: Chapter 29: Description

Coherence: Putting Details in Spatial Order

Separating the Cause from the Effect
PRACTICE 1 (pp. 332-333)
PRACTICE 2 (p. 297)
1.4, 255.175
iF ll© beC
arora, 4
aan, © bec

Chapter 32: Narration

Chapter 27: Comparison and/or Contrast
Coherence: Placing Details in Order of Time
Evaluating the Two-Part Topic Sequence
PRACTICE 1 (p. 307) PRACTICE 1 (pp. 360-361)
Answers could vary depending on the purpose of the
2. 4, 5) 1, 6, 2,3
paragraph.

3. suitable
4. suitable
5. too broad
6. too broad

466 Unit6 Appendices

Glossary
Action verb you compare and/or contrast two Contrast
a verb that tells us what the subject is items by presenting all of the facts and a writing strategy the emphasizes
doing and when the subject is doing it supporting details about one item the differences between two topics
(page 22) and then doing the same for the other (see comparison) (page 305)
item (see point-by-point method)
Active voice Controlling idea
(page 309)
a sentence is in this voice when the the writer’s attitude toward the topic
subject does the acting (page 39) Cause and effect or subject; appears in the topic
an examination of either the causes sentence (page 201)
Adjective
of a particular effect (why something
word that modifies a noun or pronoun happened) or the effects of a particular Coordination
(page 5) cause (what is likely to happen as a a pairing of similar elements—words,
result of a particular event); a writing phrases, or clauses—to give equal
Adverb
strategy that includes the establish- weight to each pair (page 54)
word that modifies a verb, an adjec-
ment of causal relationships that are
tive, or another adverb (often ends Coordinating conjunction
in -ly, but not always) (page 7, 25)
based on the application of logic
a word (such as and or but) that joins
(page 294) together other words or word groups
Analysis of equal rank; see FANBOYS (page 55)
Claim
the process of breaking down an
argument made by someone else to as- a position taken by a writer; Critical thinking
sess its validity for the purpose of sometimes called the conclusion evaluating an argument; used to deter-
either supporting it or criticizing it of an argument (page 285) mine how convincing someone else’s
and, perhaps, of suggesting a better argument is for making a decision or
Classification
argument (page 284) for helping you establish a credible
a writing strategy that places items
argument of your own (page 284)
Antecedent into separate categories for the
the word in the sentence to which the purpose of helping us thing Dangling modifier
pronoun refers (page 110) about these items more clearly a modifier in a sentence that has no
(page 349) word phrase, or clause that the
Appositive phrase modifier can describe (page 119)
group of words in a sentence that gives Common noun
us extra information about a noun in a person, place, or thing that is not Definition
the sentence (page 20) a name (for example, man, lake, or a writing strategy that includes an
town) (page 14) explanation of the meaning or signifi-
Argument cance of a term or concept (page 340)
the combination of a claim and the Comparison
evidence used to support that claim a writing strategy that emphasizes the Dependent clause (DC)
similarities between two topics; often cannot stand alone as a simple
(page 285)
combined with contrast (see contrast) sentence. It is an incomplete thought.
Argumentation (page 305) Even though it has a subject and a
attempt to change the reader’s present verb, it depends on the rest of the
viewpoint or at least to convince her or Complete sentence sentence for completeness. (page 34)
him that your viewpoint is a valid one a proper sentence that contains a sub-
(page 282) ject (or an implied subject) and a verb Description
and that expresses a complete thought a writing strategy that includes the use
Article (page 13, 76) of words to help the reader understand
word that identifies a noun ina how people, places, or things are
general sense (page 9) Complete thought perceived (page 327)
See independent clause
Attribution Documentation
Mentioning who said a fact or an idea Compound subject the formal acknowledgement of
that did not come from your own head a subject made up of two or more sources in a research paper (page 264)
(page 168) nouns joined together by and, or,
either/or, or neither/nor (page 15) Essay
Block method not to be confused with a story; piece of
a way to order material in a paragraph Conjunction writing that is at least several paragraphs
of comparison and/or contrast a word that joins or connects words, long that tries to persuade a reader of a
phrases, or clauses (page 8)
paragraph or essay; a way in which clearly stated point of view (page 216)

NEL
467
Evidence Irregular verb Passive voice
a collection of facts or premises a verb that forms its past tense and/or A sentence is in this voice when the
provided to support a claim made by past participle in a different way from subject is acted upon. (The decision
the writer to establish the credibility the usual -ed ending of regular verbs was made by the committee.)
of that claim (page 285) (page 29) (page 39)
Example Linking verb Past perfect tense
supports (and, therefore, normally a verb that joins the subject of a describes an action that occurred be-
follows) a main supporting sentence; sentence to one or more words that de- fore another activity or before another
a very specific illustration of piece scribe or identify the subject (page 6) point in the past (Elena had worked
of evidence—more specific than the at the hospital for ten years before she
main supporting sentence it supports Main supporting sentence (in a
moved away.) (page 37)
(page 206) paragraph)
contains a main point that directly Personal pronoun
Extended definition supports the topic sentence of the a pronoun that refers to the person
an analysis of a concept to give the paragraph (page 205) speaking, the person spoken to, or the
reader a more complete understanding person spoken about (page 107)
Mechanics
(page 340)
the technical aspects of writing, Phrase
Extended example including spelling, capitalization and a group of words that go together but
a lengthy description or story that is usu- other rules (such as never start a lack one or more of the elements nec-
ally several sentences long in support of sentence with a numerical figure) essary to be classified as a sentence
a main supporting sentence (page 207)
Misplaced modifier (page 81)
FANBOYS a modifier that is in a wrong, ambigu-
Plagiarism
an acronym in which each letter stands ous, or awkward position in the sen-
a form of intellectual theft, occurring
for a coordinating conjunction (for, tence (page 118)
when one person uses the ideas or
and, nor, but, or, yet, and so) (page 9)
Modifier exact words of another source or au-
Fragment a word or group of words that functions thor without giving credit (page 168)
piece of a sentence; incomplete as an adjective or adverb (page 118)
sentence (page 77) Plan of development (or POD)
Narration introduction to the main points that
Grammar a writing strategy in which a story is are intended to support the thesis
rules of language; the way words are told (page 358) statement; usually located in the
put together to make units of meaning introductory paragraph of an essay
Noun immediately after the thesis statement
Incomplete thought word that refers to a person, place, or (page 225)
See dependent clause. thing (page 3, 14)
Point-by-point method
Independent clause (IC) Object
one way to order the material in a
a group of words that can be a simple a noun in a sentence that does not
comparison and/or contrast paragraph
sentence. Independent means that do the action, but rather that is acted
or essay; a way in which you compare
the words can stand alone as a sen- upon (page 15)
and/or contrast two items as they relate
tence, and clause means there are a
Paragraph to one point before going on to the next
subject and a verb. An independent
a group of sentences that develops point (see block method) (page 307)
clause is a complete thought.
(page 34, 54) one main idea; may stand by
Possessive adjective
itself as a complete piece of
technically, not a pronoun; a word that
Interjection writing or may be a section of
modifies a noun, such as my (page 108)
a word that expresses a feeling (often a longer piece of writing, such as an
a strong one) and is not connected essay (page 197) Preliminary essay
grammatically to any other part of the
Parallel structure a new format that is longer than the
sentence (page 9)
balance in a sentence that contains a paragraph and shorter than the
Introduction list. This balance occurs when all the traditional essay; a format that begins
(or introductory paragraph) items in the list are in the same gram- with a thesis statement, followed
first paragraph of a full-fledged essay matical form: all nouns, all adjectives, by three supporting paragraphs
with a purpose that is two-fold: to and so on (page 99) (page 220)
grab your readers’ attention so that
they will keep reading and to establish Paraphrasing Preposition
the thesis (or your main idea) the process of putting another writer’s word (usually short) that indicates
(page 228) work into your own words (page 163) time, place, or means (page 8)

468 Glossary NEL

Prepositional phrase Sensory images (in description) Subordinating conjunction
group of words containing a preposition details that relate to your sense of a conjunction, such as “because,”
first and then an object of the preposition sight, smell, touch, taste, or hearing that joins a dependent clause to an
and, possibly, its modifiers (page 17) (page 327) independent clause (page 63)

Present perfect tense Sequence of tenses Summary

describes an action that started proper use of verb tenses in complex written in your own words, a
in the past and continues to the sentences (sentences that have both an condensed version of the original
present time (Elena has worked at independent clause and a dependent work (page 166)
the hospital for ten years.) The pres- clause) (page 35)
ent perfect tense can also describe an Supporting detail
Style a piece of evidence used by the writer
action that has just taken place, or an
a way of writing that achieves a desired to make the controlling idea of the
action whose exact time in the past is
effect; not to be confused with gram- topic sentence convincing to the reader
indefinite. (Elena has (just) found a
mar (page 238) (page 204) :
new job in Moncton.) (page 37)
Subject Thesis (or thesis statement)
Process
the noun in the sentence that is doing sentence that states the main idea
a writing strategy of explaining how
or being something (the main action of of an essay; usually contains an
to do something (directional) or
the sentence) (page 13) element of opinion or argument
demonstrating how something works
that the evidence in the rest of
(informational) (page 316) Subject-verb agreement the essay is expected to support
when a verb agrees with its subject in
Pronoun (page 225)
number and in person; this is neces-
a word that replaces a noun (page 15)
sary for a sentence to be correct Topic sentence
Proper noun (The girls do their homework at 6.) states the main idea of the paragraph;
a person, place, or thing that is a name (page 45) contains the topic or subject of the para-
(such as Gregg, Lake Superior, and graph and a controlling idea (the writ-
Subjunctive er’s attitude toward the topic) (page 198)
Saskatchewan) (page 14, 107)
verb form used to express untruths,
Research paper desires, or demands (If I were a Verb
presents research in support of a thesis. millionaire, I would travel around word that indicates an action, state,
Such research is fully documented within the world.) (page 41) or occurrence; its form also indicates
the paper according to a specific academ- the time at which the action, etc., takes
Subordination
ic style such as the American Psychologi- place (page 5)
the method used to combine sentences
cal Association (APA) (page 257)
whose ideas are not equally important. Verbal
Run-on It is a combination of an independent a word that looks like a verb, but that
two or more complete thoughts with- clause and a dependent clause. functions as a noun, an adjective, or an
out adequate separation (page 90) (page 62) adverb (page 82)

Glossary 469
NEL
Index
A “And” run-on, 90
Abstract nouns, 4, 16 Andreescu, Bianca, 174
Abstract terms, avoiding, 247 Anecdotes, 234
Academic directories, 260 Animate subject, 240
Accept, 442 Annotating, 160
Access, 442 Answering questions, 176-183
Action verb, 21-23 direct answer to a direct question, 176-177
Active vs. passive voice, 38—41, 243 example, 179
active is generally better, 38 formulating essay questions as a group, 183
forming the passive voice, 40 practising writing in response to reading, 183
the place for passive voice, 38-39 terms frequently used in essay questions, 179-180
Adapt, 442 analyze, 180
Ad copy, editing, 88 compare and/or contrast, 180
Ad hominem attack, 288 define, 179
Adjectives, 5. See also Modifiers describe, 179
definition of, 5 discuss, 180
Adopt, 442 examine, 180
Adverbial conjunctions, 9, 57—61, 135 explain, 180
Adverbs, 7, 25. See also Modifiers narrate, 180
definition of, 7 summarize, 180
of degree, 7 thesis statement, using in essay questions, 180-182
of frequency, 7 timed in-class essay questions, strategies for answering,
Adverbs, conjunctive, 9, 58 178-179
Advice, 443 understanding what is asked, 176
Advise, 443 writing well under pressure, 177-178
Aesthetics, appeal to, 283 Antecedent, 110, 113-114
Affect, 443 APA (American Psychological Association) guidelines.
Agreement See American Psychological Association (APA)
pronoun-antecedent, 110-113 guidelines
subject-verb, 44-52 Apart (adv.), 432
Allowed (verb), 432 A part (noun), 432
Allusion, 443 Apostrophe, three rules of, 130-133
Aloud (adv.), 432 Appositive phrases, 20, 126
Altar (noun), 432 Argument, 285
Alter (verb), 432 Argumentation, 282-293
American Psychological Association (APA) guidelines, analyzing the intention: the importance of
266-269 virtue, 286
digital object identifier (DOD, 269 common fallacies, 287-289
end documentation ad hominem attack, 288
electronic sources, 268 false analogy, 289
print sources, 268 practical point of view or belief, 288-289
internal documentation straw man, 289
electronic sources, 267 critical thinking and analysis, 283-284
print sources, 266-267 definition of, 282
page numbers, 266 description of, 282
sample research paper, 273-277 identifying good and bad arguments: small group
title page, 266 assignment, 293
Analysis, 284 US. persuasion, 283
and critiquing, 169-170 persuasive appeals that are not logical, 283
quotation or idea, 174 strategies, 283
“Analyze” (term frequently used in essay questions), 180 techniques, 286-287

470
 tools and components, 284-285 of direction words as places, 144
analysis, 284 of first word of a direct quotation, 144
argument, 285 of first word of a sentence, 142
claim, 285 of historical terms, 144
evidence, 285 of languages and religious or cultural terms, 143
underlying assumptions, 285 in MLA style, 269, 271
why these are not expressed, 285 of names of people, 144
we become what we communicate, 286 of names of specific things or places, 142-143
writing an essay of argumentation, 290-292 of nouns, 3, 14
writing a paragraph of argumentation, 289-290 summary of, 145
Armstrong, Karen, 341 ten rules for, 142-145
Artibello, John, “A Grain of Gold,” 372-375 of tities, 144
Articles, 9-10, 14, 144 Capital (noun), 433
definition of, 9 Capitol (noun), 433
“As” vs. “like,” 311 Cara, Alessia, 174
Audience, 245 Categories, distinct, 351-352
Aural (adj.), 433 Causal relationships, 294
Author (or attribution), acknowledging, 168 Cause and effect, 294-304
Awkward misplaced modifiers, 119 definition of, 294
developing essays, 300-303
B model essay, 301-302
Bannerji, Himani, “The Other Family,” 407-411 developing paragraphs, 295-296
“Banning Junk Food” (McLaren), 375-378 logic, importance of, 295-296
“Be,” 49 model paragraph, 296
Because, 239-240 supporting detail of a cause and effect paragraph
Bethune, Brian, “Face to Face,” 423-426 topic sentence of a cause and effect paragraph, 295
“Beyond Cannabis” (Owusu-Bempah), 400-403 group effort: identifying causes or effects, 303-304
Bieber, Justin, 174-175 overview of, 294
Block method, 309-311 two types of cause and effect paragraphs or essays, 295
definition of, 309 cause is identified in topic sentence or thesis statement,
model paragraph, 309 and emphasis is placed on effects, 295
Book cover, interpreting (group exercise), 348 effect is identified in topic sentence or thesis statement,
Books, periodicals, and the Internet, 258 and emphasis is placed on causes, 295
Brainstorming, 186-187 important tip, 295
for classification (group exercise), 357 writing paragraphs from model paragraphs, 299-300
Brake (noun), 433 writing paragraph step by step, 299
Celebrity Canadians, 174-175
Brake (verb), 433
Brand names, capitalizing, 145 Choose/chose, 450
Breaking up text, 244-245
Chord (noun), 433
Chrétien, Jean, 288
Break (noun), 433
Citations
Break (verb), 433
not just after direct quotations, 265
Breath, 443
parenthetical, 270
Breathe, 443
Cite (verb), 438
Broad topic, 226
Claim, 285
Clarity vs. big words and long sentences, 240
C Classification, 349-357
Campbell, Joseph, 177, 266-267
basis for, 349-352
Campbell, Kim, 288
brainstorming for (group exercise), 357
Campus woes (group exercise), 325-326
completeness of, 349
Capital (adj.), 433
definition of, 349
Capitalization
after a semi-colon, 61 developing essays, 353-355
in APA style, 266, 268 developing paragraphs, 350-351
of brand names distinct categories, 349, 351-352
of days of the week, 143 writing paragraph step by step, 352-353

NEL
Index 471
Clause, 62 purpose of, 232
Clinton, Bill, 289 returning to material in introduction, 232-233
Close (verb), 433 showing significance of thesis, 233
Clothes (noun), 433, 443 summarizing main points, 233
Cloth (noun), 433 what not to include, 234
Cloths (noun), 443 Concluding sentence, 213-214, 219-220
Clustering (also called diagramming or mapping), 189-190 Concrete nouns, 4, 16
Coarse (adj.), 434 Conjunctions, 8-9
Cohen, Marisa T., “Social Media and Relationships: A Few adverbial, 57-61
Important Rules,” 275-276 coordinating, 9, 55, 57
Coherence correlative, 9
order in logical sequence, 318-319 definition of, 8
putting details in spatial order, 331-333 pairs of, 47-48
Colon, four rules of, 136-137 subordinating, 63-64
Comma, eight rules of, 123-130 Conjunctive adverbs, 9, 58
summary of, 129 Conscience, 444
Commands, avoid when using formal language, 241-242 Conscientious, 444
Comma splice, 90 Conscious, 444
Common nouns, 3, 16 Consensus, reaching in a group, 315
Common points of view, appeal to, 283 Consistency, 246
Communication Contractions, avoid when using formal language, 242
we become what we communicate, 286 Contrast. See Comparison and contrast
“Compare” and/or “contrast” (terms frequently used in Controlling idea, 201-203, 227
essay questions), 180 choosing your own, 202-203
Comparison and contrast, 305-315 definition of, 201
block method, 309-311 finding in a topic sentence, 201-202
definition of, 309 Coordinating conjunctions, 9, 55, 57
model paragraph, 309 Coordination and subordination, 53-74
definitions, 305 coordination, 53-62
developing comparison and/or contrast paragraphs, adverbial conjunctions, 57-61
305-307 combining sentences using coordination, 54-62
choosing the two-part topic, 305-306 coordinating conjunctions that do not combine two
formulating an evaluative topic sentence, 306-307 independent clauses, 57
“like” vs. “as,” 311 definition of, 54
point-by-point method, 307-308 semicolons, 57-59, 61
definition of, 307 use a comma plus a coordinating conjunction,
model paragraph, 308 55-56
reaching consensus in a group, 315 subordination, 62—71
writing comparison and/or contrast essay, 312-314 combining sentences using subordination, 62-71
writing comparison and/or contrast paragraph, 311-312 definition of, 62
Complementary (adj.), 434 relative pronouns, punctuating a clause with, 68—69
Complement (noun), 434 relative pronouns, using to create a complex sentence,
Complement (verb), 434 67-68
Complete sentences, 13 subordinating conjunctions, 63-64
Complex sentence, 62 Cord (noun), 433
Complimentary (adj.), 434 Correlative conjunctions, 9
Compliment (noun), 434 Costume, 444
Compliment (verb), 434 “Could have” instead of “could of,” 42
Compound sentence, 54 Council, 444
Compound subject, 15 Counsel, 444
Concluding paragraph of essays, 217-218, 232-234 Counsul, 444
ending with anecdote, 234 Countable vs. non-countable nouns, 4

472 Index
Course (noun), 434 Diagramming, 189-190
Critical thinking and analysis, 283-284 Die/dye, 450
Critics, answering in advance, 287 Digital object identifier (DOI)
Critiquing, 169-170 American Psychological Association (APA), 269
Custom, 444 Diner, 445
“Cyber Misogyny” (Throop), 411-415 Dinner, 445
Direct answer to a direct question, 176-177
D Directional process, 316
Dangling and misplaced modifiers, 117-121 Directories, academic, 260
dangling, 119-120 “Discuss” (term frequently used in essay questions), 180
definition of, 119 Distinct categories, 349
definition of modifiers, 118 Distinguishing between words often confused, 432—452
list of modifiers to be especially careful with, 119 “Do,” 49
misplaced, 118-119 Documentation, 264-280
awkward, 119 American Psychological Association (APA), 266-269
definition of, 118 digital object identifier (DOI, 269
modifier in wrong place, 118-119 end documentation: electronic sources, 268
“squinting,” 119 end documentation: print sources, 268
rule: A modifier must be placed close to the word, phrase, internal documentation: electronic sources, 267
or clause it modifies, 118 internal documentation: print sources, 266—267
Dash, two rules of, 138-139 page numbers, 266
Days of the week, capitalize, 143 sample research paper, 273-277
DC (dependent clause), 34-35, 55, 62, 67 title page, 266
“Define” (term frequently used in essay questions), 179 definition of, 264
Definition, 339-348 Modern Language Association (MLA), 269-273
definition of, 339-340 end documentation: electronic sources, 272-273
description of, 339-340 end documentation: print sources, 271
developing essays, 343-347 headers, 269
developing paragraphs, 341-342 internal documentation: electronic sources, 271
extended definition, 340-341 internal documentation: print sources, 270-271
giving a more personal meaning to a common term, 339 sample research paper, 278-280
identifying characteristics, 340 title page, 269
interpreting a book cover (group exercise), 348 source documenting activity, 280
writing paragraphs step by step, 342-343 two academic styles of: APA (American Psychological
Deities, capitalize, 143 Association) and MLA (Modern Language
Demonstrative pronouns, 5, 16, 111 Association), 264—265
Dependent clause (DC), 34-35, 55, 62, 67 two mandatory parts of documentation: internal
“Describe” (term frequently used in essay questions), 179 and end, 265
Description, 327-338 citations not just after direct quotations, 265
coherence: putting details in spatial order, 331-333 connections between, 265
definition of, 327 DOI (digital object identifier)
developing descriptive paragraphs, 328 American Psychological Association (APA), 269
dominant impression, 328 Dominant impressions, 328
hunt for a roommate (group exercise), 338 selecting, 328-329
revising vague dominant impressions, 329-331 possible impressions for descriptions of people, 329
selecting the dominant impression, 328-329 possible impressions for descriptions of places, 329
possible impressions for descriptions of people, 329 vague, revising, 329-331
possible impressions for descriptions of places, 329 Dye/die, 450
sensory images, 327, 331
definition of, 327 E
writing descriptive essay, 334-337 East (capitalize when used as a place rather than as a
writing descriptive paragraphs from model paragraphs, direction), 144
333-334 “Economic Cost of Depression, The” (Lamphier),
writing descriptive paragraph step by step, 333 404-406
Desert, 444 Editing and revising, 249-256
Dessert, 444 difference between revising and editing, 249

NEL
Index 473
Editing and revising (continued) writing. See also Writing a paragraph or an essay, stages
final copy, preparing, 254-256 of
final stage, 249, 253 comparison and/or contrast essay, 312-314
group activity, 256 descriptive essay, 334-337
macrocomposition checklist, 251 essay of argumentation, 290—292
master checklist for, 250 narrative essays, 364-369
microcomposition checklist, 251-252 skill of, 216-217
proofreading, 250 Evaluative topic sentence, 306
right conditions for the tasks, 250 Evidence, in argumentation, 285
sample student essay, 253-254 “Evolution of Spirituality, The” (Fine), 354
summary, 253 “Examine” (term frequently used in essay questions), 180
Education endangered? (group assignment), 236-237 Example
Effect, 443 in argumentation, 286
Effect, cause and. See Cause and effect sentences, 204—208
Emigrant, 445 Except, 442
Emigrate, 445 Excess, 442
Emotions “Excuses, Excuses” (Lee), 388-391
appeal to, 283 “Explain” (term frequently used in essay questions), 180
using as a guide, 188 Extended definition, 340-341
End documentation, 265 Extended paragraph, 199
electronic sources
American Psychological Association (APA), 268 F
Modern Language Association (MLA), 272-273 “Face to Face” (Bethune), 423-426
print sources Fair (adj.), 434
American Psychological Association (APA), 268 Fair (noun), 434
Modern Language Association (MLA), 271 Fake news, 262
Error codes. See inside back cover Fallacies in argumentation, 287-289
Especially, 447 ad hominem attack, 288
Essays, 216-237 false analogy, 289
components of, 217-218, 224 practical point of view or belief, 288-289
concluding paragraph, 218 straw man, 289
introductory paragraph, 217-218 FANBOYS acronym to remember coordinating
support paragraphs, 218 conjunctions, 9
concluding paragraph, 232-234 Fare (noun), 434
developing Fare (verb), 434
cause and effect essay, 300-303 Farther, 445
classification essay, 353-355 Faulty logic, 295-296
definition essay, 343-347 Fewer/less, 451
introductory paragraph, 228-231 Final copy
examples of, 229-230 checklist for, 195
what not to say, 230-231 preparing, 254-256
outlining (or organizing), 191 Fine, Margo, 353-354
paragraph, moving to essay from, 218-219 Flour (noun), 435
preliminary essay, 219-224 Flower (noun), 435
structure of, 220-224 Flower (verb), 435
sample outline format, 235-236 For (conj.), 435
structure of, 217, 257-258 For (prep.), 435
thesis statement, 225-228 Fore (noun, adj.), 435
definition of, 225 Foreword (noun), 435
plan of development (POD), 225 Formal language, 240-243
recognizing, 225-226 avoid contractions, 242
writing, 226-228 avoid slang, 240-241
titles, 234-235 use third person (and avoid commands), 241-242
transferability of skills in essay writing, 216-217 Forth (adv.), 435
transitions, 231-232
Forty (adj.), 435

474 Index NEL

Forward (adj.), 435
I
Forward (adv.), 435
IC (independent clause), 34—35, 54-55, 62, 67, 135
Forward (verb), 435
Idea, controlling, 201-203
Four (noun, adj.), 435
choosing your own, 202-203
Fourth (noun, adj.), 435
definition of, 201
Fragments, 75-88
finding in a topic sentence, 201-202
definition of, 77
Illusion, 443
definition of phrase, 81
“I Lost My Talk” (Joe), 391-393
don’t confuse phrases with sentences, 80-82 Immigrant, 445
gerund phrase, 81, 83
Immigrate, 445
infinitive phrase, 81, 82 Impressions, dominant, 328
making a complete sentence from a fragment that selecting, 328-329
contains a verbal, 82-86
possible impressions for descriptions of people, 329
noun phrase, 81
possible impressions for descriptions of places, 329
participial phrase, 82-83 vague, revising, 329-331
prepositional phrase, 81 Inanimate subject, 240
recognizing and correcting, 75-80 In-class essay questions. See Timed in-class essay
verb phrase, 81 questions, strategies for answering
Freewriting, 187 Indefinite pronouns, 5, 16, 46—47, 111, 132
Further, 445 that are singular, 111
Fused run-on, 90 Independent clause (IC), 34-35, 54-55, 62, 67, 135
Individual possession, 132
Infinitive phrase, 81, 82
G
Informational process, 316
Gandhi, Mahatma, 288
Interjections, 9
General topic research essay, 259
definition of, 9
Gerund phrase, 81, 83
Internal documentation, 265
Goodman, Zack, 313
electronic sources
Good/well, 451
American Psychological Association (APA), 267
“Grain of Gold, A” (Artibello), 372-375
Modern Language Association (MLA), 271
“Grammar and Your Salary” (Harris), 397—400
print sources
Grateful (adj), 435
American Psychological Association (APA), 266—267
Grate (noun), 435
Modern Language Association (MLA), 270-271
Grate (verb), 435
Internet vs. library research, 259-261
Great (adj), 435
academic directories, 260
Group noun, 48-49
Internet research, 259-260
search engines, 260
“In the Library” (Lipschutz), 385-388
H Introductory paragraph of essay, 217-218
Hanged, 445
“Tron Road, The” (Purdy), 358
Harris, Peter, “Grammar and Your Salary,” 397-400
Irregular verbs. See online Appendix D
Headers
definition of, 29
Modern Language Association (MLA), 269-270
principle parts of, 29-32
Helping (auxiliary) verb, 21, 24-25
It’s (contraction of it is), 436
“Here,” using, 20
Its (possessive form of it), 436
Highlighting, 160
Historical events, capitalize, 144 J
Historical periods, capitalize, 144 Jargon, avoidance of, 247
Hole (noun), 441 Joe, Rita “I Lost My Talk,” 391-393
Holidays, capitalize, 143 Joint possession, 132
“How to” essay, writing, 325 Journalling, 161, 188-189
“How to Get Happily Married” (McKinnell), 378-381
Hung, 445 K
Hyphen, five rules of, 138 Knew (verb), 436
Hyphenated words, as possessives, 132 Know (verb), 436

NEL
Index 475
 modifier in wrong place, 118-119
L
Lamphier, Gary, “The Economic Cost of Depression,” “squinting,” 119
rule: A modifier must be placed close to the word, phrase,
404-406
Language names, capitalize, 143 or clause it modifies, 118
Modal auxiliary verbs, 7
Lay/lie, 448-449
Modern Language Association (MLA) guidelines, 269-273
Lead/led, 450
Lee, Adrian, “Excuses, Excuses,” 388-391 end documentation
Legitimacy of online sources, 259, 261-262 electronic sources, 272—273
Less/fewer, 451 print sources, 271
Lewinsky, Monica, 289 headers, 269
Library vs. Internet research, 259-261 internal documentation
academic directories, 260 electronic sources, 271
Internet research, 259-260 print sources, 270-271
search engines, 260 sample research paper, 278-280
title page, 269
Lie/lay, 448-449
“Like” us. “as,” 311 Modifiers, misplaced and dangling, 117-121
Limited topic, 226 dangling, 119-120
Linking verbs, 6 definition of, 119
Lipschutz, Gary definition of modifiers, 118
“In the Library,” 385-388 list of modifiers to be especially careful with, 119
“What’s Missing?”, 418-423 misplaced, 118-119
Lists, 100, 103 awkward, 119
semicolons in, 137 definition of, 118
Literary research essay, 258-259 modifier in wrong place, 118-119
primary vs. secondary sources, 258-259 “squinting,” 119
Local, 446 rule: A modifier must be placed close to the word, phrase,
Locale, 446 or clause it modifies, 118
Lose/loose, 450 “Monster” (Vowel), 426-430
“Lost Salt Gift of Blood, The” (MacLeod), 333 Months of the year, capitalize, 143
“Love Hurts” (Yuen), 344 Moral, 446
Morale, 446
Morton, James C., “A Tough Approach That Might Work,”
M 3935397
MacQueen, Ken, “A Matter of Postal Codes,” 381-385 Much/many, 451-452
Macrocomposition checklist, 251 Myth (dictionary entry), 340
Main supporting sentence, 204-206
Major readings, 371-430 N
Mann, Roger, 250 Naidoo, Karen, 365
Many/much, 451-452 Names of people, capitalize, 144-145
Mapping, 189-190 “Narrate” (term frequently used in essay questions), 180
“Matter of Postal Codes, A” (MacQueen), 381-385 Narration, 358-369
McKinnell, Julia, “How to Get Happily Married,” coherence in narration: placing details in order of time
378-381 sequence, 360-361
McLaren, Leah definition of, 358
“Banning Junk Food,” 375-378 developing narrative paragraphs, 358-359
“Not Just Hollywood,” 415-418 spontaneous creativity or combustion? (group exercise),
McLeod, Alistair, 333 369
Microcomposition checklist, 251-252 using narration to make a point, 359-360
Misplaced and dangling modifiers, 117-121 writing narrative essays, 364-369
dangling, 119-120 writing narrative paragraphs from model paragraphs, 364
definition of, 119 writing narrative paragraphs step by step, 361-363
definition of modifiers, 118 New (verb), 436
list of modifiers to be especially careful with, 119 No (adj.), 436
misplaced, 118-119 No (adv.), 436
awkward, 119 Non-countable us. countable nouns, 4
definition of, 118 Nonrestrictive clause, 69, 127

476 Index NEL

Nonrestrictive word, 127 review exercises: editing for errors, 152-154
North, capitalize when used as a place rather than asa structure, 197-199
direction, 144 supporting details, 204-211
Notes, taking, 160 definition of, 204
“Not Just Hollywood” (McLaren), 415-418 example sentences, 204-208
Noun phrase, 81 main supporting sentence, 204-206
Nouns, 3-4 making them specific, 211-212
common, 3, 16 qualities of, 208-211
concrete us. abstract, 4, 16 structured approach, 204
countable us. non-countable, 4 two types, 204
definition of, 3 topic sentence, 198—201
non-countable vs. countable, 4 definition of, 198
proper, 3 finding the topic in a topic sentence, 200-201
as subject, 14 working together: controlling ideas and supporting
types of, 3 details, 215
writing. See also Writing a paragraph or an essay,
O stages of
Objective case, 5, 107 argumentation paragraph, 289—290
Online sources, analyzing legitimacy of, 261-263 cause and effect paragraph, 299-300
fake news, 262 classification paragraph, 352-353
comparison and/or contrast paragraph, 311-312
Opinions from recognized authorities to support your
points, 287
definition paragraph, 342-343
descriptive paragraph, 333
Opposing points of view, summarizing, 170
process paragraph, 319-321
Oral (adj.), 433
writing from model paragraphs
“Other Family, The” (Bannerji), 407-411
descriptive paragraphs, 333-334
Outlining (or organizing), 191
narrative paragraphs, 364
for an essay, 191
writing step by step
for a paragraph, 191
narrative paragraphs, 361-363
Owusu-Bempah, Akwasi, “Beyond Cannabis,” 400—403
Parallel structure, 99-105
definition of, 99
P rules for correct, 100
Page numbers Paraphrasing and summarizing, 163-170
American Psychological Association (APA), 266 acknowledging the author (or attribution), 168
Pain (noun), 436 analyzing and critiquing, 169-170
Pane (noun), 436 definition of, 166
Paragraph, 197-215 paraphrasing, 163-165
appearance, 197-198 definition of, 163
concluding sentence, 213-214 writing a successful paraphrase, 164-165
controlling idea, 201-203 plagiarism, 168-169
choosing your own, 202—203 avoid unintentional plagiarism, 168-169
definition of, 201 example of plagiarism and its real-life
finding in a topic sentence, 201-202 consequences, 169
definition of, 197 serious offence, 168
developing summarizing, 166-168
cause and effect paragraph, 295-296 writing a successful summary, 167
classification paragraph, 350-351 Parentheses, rule of, 139
comparison and/or contrast paragraph, 305-307 Parenthetical citations, 270
definition paragraph, 341-342 Parenthetical references, 270
descriptive paragraphs, 328 Participial phrase, 82—83, 126
directional process paragraph, 316-317 Parts of speech: Overview, 2-11
informational process paragraph, 316-317 adjectives, 5
narrative paragraphs, 358-359 articles, 9-10
moving to essay from, 218-219 conjunctions, 8—9
outline format sample, 214-215 interjechons, 9
outlining (or organizing), 191 nouns, 3-4

NEL
Index 477
Parts of speech: Overview (continued) Prepositional combinations
prepositions, 8 common, list of, 18
pronouns, 4—5 Prepositional phrase, 17-19, 45-46, 81, 126
verbs, 5-7 Prepositions, 8
Passed (verb), 436 common, list of, 8, 18
Passive us. active voice, 38—41, 243 definition of, 8
active is generally better, 38 Presence (noun), 437
forming the passive voice, 40 Present perfect tense, 36-37
the place for passive voice, 38-39 Presents (noun), 437
Past (adj.), 436 Presents (verb), 437
Past form of verbs, 29-31 Previewing, 157-160
Past (noun), 436 reading first and last paragraphs, 158-159
Past participle, 29-31 reading information in boxes, charts, captions, and so on,
Past perfect tense, 36-37 159-160
Past (prep.), 436 reading the introduction, 157-158
Patience (noun), 437 reading titles, subtitles, headings, and subheadings, 158
Patients (noun), 437 Prewriting, 186-191
Peace (noun), 437 brainstorming, 186-187
Peck, M. Scott, 353-355 buy a journal that doesn’t remind you of school,
Personal, 446 188-189
Personal pronouns, 5, 16, 107 choosing the topic and the controlling idea, 190-191
Personnel, 446 clustering (also called diagramming or mapping),
Persuasion vs. argumentation, 283 189-190
Persuasiveness, 191 freewriting, 187
Phrases keeping a journal, 188
don’t confuse with sentences, 80-82 letting your emotions serve as a guide, 188
Pianissimo, Donald, 301 persuasiveness, 191
Piece (noun), 437 working together, 195-196
Places, specific Primary research, 259
capitalize names of, 142-143 Primary sources, 259-260
Plagiarism, 168-169 Principal (adj.), 437
avoid unintentional plagiarism, 168—169 Principal (noun), 437
example of plagiarism and its real-life consequences, 169 Principle (noun), 437
serious offence, 168 Proceed, 446
Plain (adj.), 437 Process, 316-326
Plain (noun), 437 campus woes (group exercise), 325-326
Plane (noun), 437 coherence: order in logical sequence, 318-319
Plan of development (POD), 225 definition of, 316
Point-by-point method, 307-308 developing paragraphs
definition of, 307 directional process, 316-317
model paragraph, 308 informational process, 316-317
Possessive adjectives, 5, 107-108 don’t overlook any step, 317-318
definition of, 108 writing the process essay, 321-325
Possessive case, 5, 107 “how to” essay, 325
Postwriting (revising, editing, and proofreading), 193-196, 253 writing the process paragraph from model paragraphs
checklist for the final copy, 195 directional process, 320-321
proofreading, 194 informational process, 321
revising and editing the rough draft, 193-194 writing the process paragraph step by step, 319-320
Practical point of view or belief, 288—289 Pronouns, 4—5, 106—116
Practice questions, answer to, 453-466 definition of, 4, 107
Precede, 446 indefinite pronouns that are singular, 111
Predictions, making, 233 missing, ambiguous, or repetitious, 113-114
Preliminary essay, 219-224 personal pronoun, 107
Model essay, 221 possessive adjectives, 107-108
Model essay with documentation, 222 definition of, 108
Premises, 285 pronoun-antecedent agreement, 110-113

478 Index NEL

 pronouns and case, 107-108 deciding how much to quote, 172
objective case, 107 direct quotations, capitalize first word of, 144
possessive adjectives, 107-108 giving meaning to quotations, 172
possessive case, 107 longer (block) quotation, 173
subjective case, 107 short (integrated) quotation, 173
as subject, 15 text references: quotations and paraphrased ideas,
who vs. whom, 108 171-172
Proofreading, 194, 250
Proper nouns, 3, 17 R
as subject, 14-15 Races, capitalize, 143
Punctuation, 122-141 Rain (noun, verb), 438
apostrophe, three rules of, 130-133 Raise (noun), 438
summary of, 130-133 Raise/rise, 448—449
choice of, 246-247 Raise (verb), 438
colon, four rules of, 136-137 Raonic, Milos, 174
comma, eight rules of, 123-130 Rays (noun), 438
summary of, 129 Raze (verb), 438
correct punctuation is a strong indicator of writer’s Reading
competence, 122 practising writing in response to, 183
dash, two rules of, 138-139 Reading strategies, 157
hyphen, five rules of, 138 annotating, 160
parentheses, rule of, 139 highlighting, 160
quotation marks, four rules of, 134-135 journalling, 161
summary of, 135 looking up word definitions, 162
semicolon, three rules of, 135-136 looking up references, 162
Purdy, Al, 358-359 reading first and last paragraphs, 158-159
reading information in boxes, charts, captions,
Q 159-160
Qualified topic, 226-227 reading the introduction, 157
Question, answering, 176-183 reading titles, 158
direct answer to a direct question, 176-177 reading topic sentences, 161
example, 179 reading/answering questions that follow, 161
formulating essay questions as a group, 183 rereading, 161
practising writing in response to reading, 183 taking notes, 160
terms frequently used in essay questions, 179-180 Readings. See Major readings
analyze, 180 Reading-writing connection. See also specific topics
compare and/or contrast, 180 answering the question, 176-183
define, 179 paraphrasing and summarizing, 163-170
describe, 179 quoting, 171-175
discuss, 180 understanding what you read, 156-162
examine, 180 Reason, 239
explain, 180 Receipt, 447
narrate, 180 Recipe, 447
summarize, 180 References, 268
thesis statement, using in essay questions, 180-182 Regular paragraph, 199
timed in-class essay questions, strategies for answering, Reign (noun, verb), 438
178-179 Rein (noun), 438
understanding what is asked, 176 Relative pronouns, 5, 16
writing well under pressure, 177-178 punctuating a clause with, 68-69
Quiet, 446 using to create a complex sentence, 67-68
Quit, 446 Religions, capitalize, 143
Quite, 446 Reluctant Writer, The, 250
Quotation marks, four rules of, 134-135 Repetition of words, 245
summary of, 135 Rereading, 161
Quoting, 171-175, 263 Research paper, 257-263
analyzing the quotation or idea, 174 definition of, 257

NEL
Index 479
Research paper (continued) S
finding appropriate sources, 263 Sacred terms, capitalize, 143
general topic research essay, 259 Search engines, 260
primary vs. secondary research, 259 Secondary research, 259
Internet us. library research, 259-261 Secondary sources, 259-260
academic directories, 260 Semicolons, 57-59, 61
Internet research, 259-260 three rules for use, 135-136
search engines, 260 Sensory images, 327, 331
literary research essay, 258-259 definition of, 327
primary vs. secondary sources, 258-259 Sentences
online sources, analyzing legitimacy of, 261-263 capitalize the first word of every sentence, 142
fake news, 262 combining using coordination, 54—62
quotations, using, 263 combining using subordination, 62—71
standard essay structure, 257-258 editing for errors, 147-152
books, periodicals, and the Internet, 258 phrases, don’t confuse with sentences, 80-82
responsible research, 258 Sentence skills. See also specific topics
Restrictive clause, 69 capitalization, 142-146
Restrictive word, 127 coordination and subordination, 53-74
Results, pointing out correcting fragments, 75-88
in argumentation, 287 correcting run-ons, 89-98
Review practice and exercises for Unit 1 modifiers: misplaced and dangling, 117-121
paragraphs parallel structure, 99-105
editing for errors, 152-154 parts of speech: Overview, 2-11
sentences pronouns, 106-116
editing for errors, 147-152 punctuation, 122-141
Revising and editing, 249-256 recognizing subjects and verbs, 12-27
difference between revising and editing, 249 review practices and exercises for Unit I, 147-154
final copy, preparing, 254-256 solving verb problems, 28—43
final stage, 249, 253 subject-verb agreement, 44—52
group activity, 256 Sequence of verb tenses, 34—36
macrocomposition checklist, 251 definition of, 35
master checklist for, 250 dependent clause (DC), 34-35
microcomposition checklist, 251-252 independent clause (IC), 34-35
proofreading, 250 “Should have” instead of “should of,” 42
right conditions for the tasks, 250 Sight (noun), 438
sample student essay, 253-254 Simple form (bare infinitive form), 29-31
summary, 253 Site (noun), 438
Right (adj.), 441 Sit/set, 448-449
Right (adv.), 441 Slang, avoiding when using formal language,
Right (noun), 441 240-241
Rise/raise, 448-449 “Social Media and Relationships: A Few Important Rules’ >

Rite (noun), 441 (Cohen), 275-276

Roberts, John, 250 Sources, documenting, 280. See also Documentation
Roommate, hunt for (group exercise), 338 South, capitalize when used as a place rather than as a
Rosloski, Stephanie, 290-291 direction, 144
Rough draft, 192 Special, 447
revising and editing, 193-194 Speech, parts of: Overview, 2-11
Run-ons, 89-98 adjectives, 5
comma splice, 90 articles, 9-10
correcting, 91 conjunctions, 8—9
definition of, 90 interjections, 9
different from long sentences, 89—90 nouns, 3-4
fused run-on, 90 prepositions, 8
kinds of, 90 pronouns, 4-5
and run-on, 90 verbs, 5-7

480 Index NEL

Spelling problems, solving. See online Appendix C in sentences that contain appositive phrases, 20
Spontaneous creativity or combustion? (group exercise), 369 in sentences with prepositional phrases, 17—19
“Squinting” misplaced modifiers, 119 subjects that look like verbs, 21
Stair (noun), 438 using here and there, 20
Stake (noun), 439 finding the verb, 21-25
Stake (verb), 439 action, 21-23
Stare (noun, verb), 438 helping (auxiliary), 21, 24-25
Stationary (adj.), 439 linking, 21, 23-24
Stationery (noun), 439 Subject-verb agreement, 44-52
Steak (noun), 439 agreement in number and person, 45
Stickup, 448 group noun, 48—49
Stick up, 448 indefinite pronouns, 46-47
Straw man, 289 pairs of conjunctions, 47-48
Structure, parallel, 99-105 prepositional phrase, 45-46
definition of, 99 problems in making verbs agree with their subjects, 45-49
Rule 1: Words in a list should be the same part of speech, within a sentence, 45
100, 103 subject may follow the verb, 48
Rule 2: Phrases in a list should be the same kind of verbs do and be, 49
phrase, 100, 103 Subjunctive, 41
Rule 3: Clauses in a list should be parallel, 100, 103 Subordinating conjunctions, 9, 63-64
Style, 238-248 Subordination and coordination, 53-74
abstract terms, avoiding, 247 coordination, 53-62
active us. passive voice, 243 adverbial conjunctions, 57-61
audience and tone, 245 combining sentences using coordination, 54-62
beyond sentence skills, 238 coordinating conjunctions that do not combine two
breaking the rules, 244 independent clauses, 57
breaking up the text, 244-245 definition of, 54
changing, in writing of peers, 247-248 semicolons, 57-59, 61
clarity vs. big words and long sentences, 240 use a comma plus a coordinating conjunction, 55-56
consistency, 246 subordination, 62-71
description of, 238-239 combining sentences using subordination, 62-71
formal language, 240-243 definition of, 62
avoid contractions, 242 relative pronouns, punctuating a clause with, 68-69
avoid slang, 240-241 relative pronouns, using to create a complex sentence,
use third person (and avoid commands), 67-68
241-242 subordinating conjunctions, 63-64
jargon, avoidance of, 247 “Summarize” (term frequently used in essay questions),
punctuation, choice of, 246-247 180
purpose, 245-246 Summarizing and paraphrasing, 163-170
repetition of words, 245 acknowledging the author (or attribution), 168
sentence variety, 244 analyzing and critiquing, 169-170
word economy (absence of wordiness), 239-240 definition of, 166
word order, 243-244 paraphrasing, 163-165
Stylianou, Akis, 366 definition of, 163
Subjective case, 5, 107 writing a successful paraphrase, 164-165
Subjects and verbs, recognizing, 13-27 plagiarism, 168-169
complete sentences, 13 avoid unintentional plagiarism, 168-169
finding the subject, 13-16 example of plagiarism and its real-life consequences, 169
commands, 20 serious offence, 168
compound subject, 15 summarizing, 166-168
guide to, 16 opposing points of view, 170
nouns, 14 writing a successful summary, 167
pronouns, 15 Supporting details, 204—211, 285
proper nouns, 14-15 cause and effect paragraph
in sentences that are questions, 19
definition of, 204

Index 481
NEL
Supporting sentences, 204-207, 219-220 “Transparent Silhouette” (Stylianou), 366
Support paragraphs, 218 Trudeau, Justin, 180, 288
Suppose/supposed, 450-451 Trudeau, Pierre, 288
Two (noun), 439
at Two-part topic, 305-307
Teaching is the best way to learn, 162
Text, breaking up, 244-245
U
Text references, quotations and paraphrased ideas, 171-172
Underlying assumptions, 285
Than, 448 Unintentional plagiarism, 168-169
Their (possessive), 439
Use/used, 450
Then, 448
There (at that place), 439
“There,” using, 20 V
Thesis statement, 177, 217, 225-228 Vain (adj.), 439
definition of, 225 Vane (noun), 439
plan of development (POD), 225 Vein (noun), 440
recognizing, 225-226 Verbal phrase, 126
using in essay questions, 180-182 Verb phrase, 81
writing, 226-228 Verbs, 5—7. See also Verbs, solving problems with
They’re (contraction of they are), 439 action, 6
Things, specific definition of, 5
capitalize names of, 142-143 helping (auxiliary), 6—7
Third person, 241-242 linking, 6
Thorough, 448 subjects that look like, 21
Though, 448 Verbs, solving problems with, 28-43
Thought, 448 active us. passive voice, 38-41
Three-point thesis statement, 220-222, 226 active is generally better, 38
Threw, 448 forming the passive voice, 40
Throop, Brett, “Cyber Misogyny,” 411-415 the place for passive voice, 38-39
Through, 448 avoiding unnecessary shifts in verb tense, 32-34
Timed in-class essay questions, strategies for answering, irregular verbs
178-179 definition of, 29
Titanic, 299-300 principle parts of, 29-32
Title not more than one modal auxiliary with the main verb, 42
capitalizing words in, 144 past perfect tense, 36-37
essayS, 234-235 present perfect tense, 36-37
Title page sequence of tenses, 34-36
American Psychological Association (APA), 266 definition of, 35
Modern Language Association (MLA), 269 dependent clause (DC), 34-35
Titles, professional independent clause (IC), 34-35
capitalizing, 144 the subjunctive, 41
Tone, 245 use should have, would have, or could have in place of
Too (adv.), 439 should of, would of, or could of, 42
Topic sentence, 198-201, 199, 219-220 Virtue, 286
in argumentation, 286 Virtue, importance of, 286
ofa cause and effect paragraph, 295 Vowel, Chelsea, “Monster,” 426—430
definition of, 198
finding controlling idea in, 201-202 W
finding the topic in a topic sentence, 200-201 Waist (noun), 440
reading, 161-162 Wait (verb), 440
To (prep.), 439 Ware (noun), 440
“Tough Approach That Might Work, A” (Morton), 393-397 Waste (noun), 440
To (+ verb), 439 Waste (verb), 440
Transitions, 199. Also see inside back cover Watters, Cara, 323
essays, 231-232 Wear (noun), 440

NEL
Wear (verb), 440 Writing a paragraph or essay, 186-197
Weather (conj.), 440 brainstorming, 186-187
Weather (noun), 440 checklist for the final copy, 195
Weight (noun), 440 choosing the topic, 190-191
Well/good, 451 clustering (diagramming or mapping), 89-190
West, capitalize when used as a place rather than as a freewriting, 187
direction, 144 keeping a journal, 188
“What’s Missing?” (Lipschutz), 418-423 letting emotions serve as a guide, 188
Where (adv.), 440 outlining (or organizing), 191
“Whispers of the Dead” (Naidoo) persuasiveness, 191
Whole (adj.), 441 prewriting, 186-191
Who’s (contraction of who is), 441 proofreading, 194
Whose (possessive), 441 revising and editing the rough draft, 193-194
Who vs. whom, 108 rough draft, 192
Why, 239 working together, 195-196
Wood (noun), 441 Writing process. See also specific topics
Word Cited list, 271 documentation, 264-280
Word economy (absence of wordiness), 239-240 essays, 216-237
Word order, 243-244 paragraph, 197-215
Words paragraph or essay, four stages of writing, 186-196
repetition of, 245 research paper, 257-263
that are often confused, 432-452 revising and editing, 249-256
that are similar in meaning but do not look or sound alike style, 238-248
(fewer/less; good/well; many/much), 451-452 Writing strategies for the paragraph and essay, 281.
that sound alike, 432-442. See also entry for a See also specific topics
particular word augmentation, 282—293
that sound or look almost alike, 442—451. See also entry cause and effect, 294-304
for a particular word classification, 349-357
“Would have” instead of “would of,” 42 comparison and contrast, 305-315
Would (verb), 441 definition, 339-348
Write (verb), 441 description, 327-338
Writing narration, 358-369
argumentation paragraph, 289-290 process, 316-326
cause and effect paragraph, 299-300
classification paragraph, 352-353 Y
comparison and/or contrast paragraph, 311-312 Yoke (noun), 441
definition paragraph, 342-343 Yolk (noun), 441
descriptive paragraph, 333-334 You're (contraction of you are), 442
narrative paragraph, 361-363, 364 Your (possessive), 442
under pressure, 177-178 Yuen, Jenny, 344

NEL
Index 483
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Common Transitions
Transitions for Cause however finally Change of Direction Signals
and Effect but in the next moment but, however, yet, in contrast,
Cause: because, due to, factors, otherwise after a little while otherwise, still, on the
reasons, bring about, basis, except for first, first of all contrary, on the other hand
SOUrces, give rise to and yet then
Effect: result, consequence, still Illustration Signals
next
outcome, outgrowth, effect for example, for instance,
Transitions for Comparison Transitions for Process specifically, as an illustration,
Transitions for Classification similar to the first step once, such as
Comparison: at the same time, in similarly in the beginning
the same way, in like manner, likewise Conclusion Signals
to start with
likewise, similarly like therefore, consequently, thus,
to begin with
Contrast: and yet, although true, at just like then, as a result, in summary, to
first of all
conclude, last of all, finally
the same time, but, conversely, just as while you are...
for all that, however, in furthermore as you are... Additional Signals
contrast, nevertheless, moreover next first of all, for one thing,
whereas, notwithstanding, on equally then second, the third reason, also, next,
the one hand, on the other again the second step another, and, in addition, moreover,
hand, still, yet also after you have... furthermore, finally, last ofall
too the last step
Transitions for Contrast To Make Your Point Stand
0) the final step
on the contrary Out Clearly
finally
on the other hand
Transitions for Definition the first reason
at last
for example, first, second, third, first ofall
in contrast with eventually
therefore, consequently, as a in the first place
in spite of
despite
result, though, as a starting point, Time Signais second, secondly
but, if the truth were known, that first, then, next, after, before, another example
instead of
is, however while, meanwhile, now, during, even more important
different from
finally also, next
whereas Transitions for Narration
then
while at once Space Signals
finally
although immediately next to, across, on the
most important
though soon afterward opposite side, to the left,
all in all
unlike suddenly to the right, in front of, in
in conclusion
even though later, later on back of, above, below, behind,
to summarize
nevertheless now, by now nearby

Quick Reference: Editing and Correction Symbols (Error Codes)

Word-Level Errors Sentence-Level Errors Paragraph-Level Errors
SYMBOL ERROR SYMBOL ERROR SYMBOL ERROR
abbr incorrect abbreviation agr faulty agreement; subject coh coherence; the parts are not
apos (’) apostrophe mistake with verb or pronoun with related in a clear and logical
art article antecedent way
cap capitalize word awk awkward sentence; needs to | dev not developed sufficiently
Ic use lower case be reworded log not logical; thinking not clear
prep preposition es comma splice org needs better organization
pron pronoun dic diction; language is slang or trans needs a transition
rep repetition informal 4 begin a new paragraph
sp spelling mistake dm dangling modifier no no new paragraph
s-v/s-v agt/sva_ subject-verb agreement error | frag fragment Y good point; well expressed
torvt wrong verb tense mm misplaced modifier
uc upper case p incorrect punctuation
vf wrong verb form p-a pronoun antecedent
vpr vague pronoun reference agreement error
wc word choice: select a different | ps needs parallel structure
word rO run-on sentence
wdy wordy; too many words; R/O run-on sentence
needs revision syn syntax
wf word form is incorrect Wo word order
WW wrong word // sentence needs parallelism
/ slash; eliminate the word,
letter, or punctuation mark
A one or more words missing
? the word is illegible
Na at tle tae Iala
Ae ee
 Gary Lipschutz
John Scarry
Sandra Scarry

The ,.
anadian
Writer's
orkplace

ISBN-13: 978-0-17-6831
ISBN-10: 0-17-683100-2

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