Experiencing Grandparenthood An Asian Perspective

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Editors
Kalyani K. Mehta Leng Leng Thang
Gerontology Programme Department of Japanese Studies
School of Human Development and Social National University of Singapore
Services 9 Arts Link
University of SIM Block AS4
461 Clementi Road Singapore 117570
Singapore 599491 Singapore
[email protected] [email protected]

ISSN 1387-6570
ISBN 978-94-007-2302-3 e-ISBN 978-94-007-2303-0
DOI 10.1007/978-94-007-2303-0
Springer Dordrecht Heidelberg London New York
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011939187

© Springer Science+Business Media B.V. 2012

No part of this work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any
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Springer is part of Springer Science+Business Media (www.springer.com)

The Editors

Associate Professor Kalyani K. Mehta

Kalyani K. Mehta is Head of the Gerontology Programme at University of SIM,
Singapore. Her research interests are ageing-related policies and services, family
caregivers, cross-cultural studies, grandparenthood, intergenerational ties and their
impact on the well-being of older people. Her rich experience in the field of social
gerontology spans the past 20 years. Dr. Mehta’s PhD thesis on “The Dynamics of
Adjustment of the Very Old in Singapore” started the passion for this specialisation.
Although most of her research is conducted in Singapore, she has extensive
knowledge of the Asia Pacific region. Her numerous publications include two
co-authored books “Understanding and Counselling Older Persons” and “Ageing
in Singapore: Service Needs and the State”, six edited books, and more than 40
papers in international journals on social gerontology and social work. Dr. Mehta
was Member of Singapore Parliament (2007–2009) by nomination, and during her
term she spoke on ageing policies and services.
She is President of the Singapore Association of Social Workers and council
member of the Singapore Gerontological Society. She is associate editor of the
Singaporean journal “Asia Pacific Journal of Social Work and Development” and
serves on the editorial boards of the Journal of Ethnic and Cultural Diversity
in Social Work and Asian Journal of Gerontology. Internationally, Dr. Mehta has
served as consultant to United Nations, Asian Development Research Forum and is
currently advisor to the Asia Pacific Institute of Ageing Studies, Lingnan University,
Hong Kong.

Associate Professor Leng Leng Thang

Leng Leng Thang is a socio-cultural anthropologist with research interest in ageing,
intergenerational programming, intergenerational relationships and gender. She
graduated with PhD in Anthropology from University of Illinois at Urbana-
Champaign and is currently Associate Professor at the Department of Japanese
Studies and member of steering committee of the health research cluster at Faculty
of Arts and Social Sciences, National University of Singapore.

v
vi The Editors

She writes extensively on ageing and intergenerational issues focusing mainly on

Asia (especially Japan and Singapore), and is the author of “Generations in Touch:
Linking the Old and Young in a Tokyo Neighbourhood” (Cornell University Press
2001) and co-author of “Ageing in Singapore: Service Needs and the State”
(Routledge 2006). She is active in promoting intergenerational interaction and is
vice chair of the International Consortium for Intergenerational Programs. She is
also associate editor of Journal of Intergenerational Relationships (Taylor &
Francis). She provides consultancy on intergenerational programmes and ageing-
related issues for various government and social service agencies in Singapore and
is currently president of Singapore Fei Yue Family Service Centre.
Preface

Asia in the twenty-first century has experienced rapid socio-cultural, economic and
family transformations as a result of modernisation, urbanisation and demographic
ageing. Hailed as the next major challenge for Asia, the ageing of Asia is charac-
terised by a record speed of ageing in many countries in Asia, much faster than what
the Western nations have historically experienced. Asia will have an unprecedented
number and proportion of grandparents amongst its population. For children in Asia
who are shrinking in number with lower birth rate, it is becoming a norm to have
living grandparents, great-grandparents and even great-great-grandparents in the
family. With the feminisation of ageing, their living grandparents are also likely to
be grandmothers.
What are the experiences of these grandparents living in such exciting times?
It is with this enquiry that we offer this volume based on grandparents in five Asian
countries to enhance the current state of literature on the growing segment of our
world population – grandparents from an Asian perspective. Based primarily on an
original qualitative research project of grandparenting in five Asian countries
carried out by a multidisciplinary team of researchers from Japan, Singapore,
Thailand, Malaysia and Hong Kong, the local grounded knowledge of the researchers
offer unique observations in individual societies which contribute to a better under-
standing of the dynamic interplay between changing socioeconomic conditions and
cultural saliency in affecting the intergenerational relations between the grandparents
and the grandchildren. In addition to the above five countries, a chapter on China
has been included to expand the comprehensiveness of the book.
Social changes bring to surface paradoxes that serve at once to define and
redefine the nature of grandparenting and meanings of grandparenthood to the three
generations within a family. In filling a gap in the current stock of knowledge on the
study of grandparents in Asia, the volume seeks to answer the following questions:
What is the state of grandparenting in the Asian context today? How do the roles
and functions of grandparents differ depending on living arrangement, gender, age,
mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relations and changing health of the grandparents?
What stresses are there with grandparenting and strategies adopted to manage
intergenerational conflicts? What are the cultural, religious and social principles

vii
viii Preface

that buttress the value of multigenerational ties? From the social linguistic perspec-
tive, how does an analysis of ageing discourse in different cultural contexts promote
our understanding of intergenerational relationships?
The grandparents in the study, by and large, represent the range of families in
these Asian societies. They are the witnesses to the economic and social develop-
ments that have swept across Asia affecting the cultural and social norms they used
to hold. Whilst they grow up with respect for grandparents who usually have legitimate
roles in the family, expecting to be cared for at home in old age and symbolising
family authority and standing at the centre of family relations, the changing
expectations of care and intergenerational living arrangements have left some of
them at the margin of a nuclear family focus. Whilst some grandparents may still
regard themselves as playing significant roles in the upbringing of their grand-
children, others have only little contacts with their teenage grandchildren. The
grandparents in the study revealed their joys and dilemmas as grandparents, and
implicated the coping strategies they deployed to negotiate and balance their desires
with that of their adult children’s and grandchildren’s. As link parents, the middle
generation showed appreciation to their older parents, but exposed the paradox of
wishing for an appropriate distance in grandparent–grandchildren engagements. The
grandchildren observed the mix of affection and tension between their parents and
grandparents, and are mostly glad to have the grandparents around as providers of
various sources of support. The volume’s strength lies precisely in its rich body of
qualitative three-generational data spanning five Asian countries. Such an intergene-
rational perspective on the study of grandparenthood, which includes in its analysis
the views of three generations (grandparents, link parents and grandchildren),
contributes to a new dimension of advancing our understanding of grandparenthood
in the familial context.
The book is targeted for social researchers, academics, gerontologists, social
workers, family therapists, community workers, policy makers, anthropologists,
scholars of regional studies and grandparents themselves.
As you read this book, we hope that you will grasp the authentic voices of the
Asian grandparents, who are different because of their different cultures and nationa-
lities, yet similar due to their value and belief systems.
As co-editors, we would like to thank the contributors who have been patient and
dedicated in their efforts to complete the project. We have gained much both perso-
nally and as scholars of gerontology through the process of completing this volume.
As we walk life’s journey as grandparents, link parents and grandchildren, and as
we experience the stresses, frustrations, joy and satisfaction that comes with the
different life stages, may we always remember to cherish those around us who have
made our existence meaningful.

Kalyani K. Mehta
Leng Leng Thang
Acknowledgments

Our deepest gratitude goes to all the respondents – the grandparents, link parents and
grandchildren – from families in the five countries. Without their voices, this book
would not have been possible. We would also like to thank all the research assistants
and interviewers from the different countries who have supported us in the project.
We are grateful for the funding support from the 3-year research grant provided
by National University of Singapore (R-107-000-040-112), the supplementary grant
from Waseda University, Japan (R-134-000-040-593) and for the Hong Kong study,
the Direct Grant from the Chinese University of Hong Kong (Project ID: 2020824).
The Asia Research Institute, National University of Singapore has funded the research
conference for this project in October 2005 which contributed to the formulation of
this volume.
Finally, we are indebted to our families and friends who have encouraged us at
every stage to publish this book.

ix
Contents

1 Introduction: Grandparenthood in Asia................................................. 1

Kalyani K. Mehta and Leng Leng Thang
2 Changing Social and Demographic Characteristics in Asia ................. 21
Tsuneo Usui and Mari Tsuruwaka
3 Grandparenting Roles and Functions ..................................................... 47
Vivian W.Q. Lou and Iris Chi
4 Meanings of Being a Grandparent .......................................................... 61
Leng Leng Thang
5 Stress and Conflict Management
Strategies in Grandparenthood ............................................................... 77
Kalyani K. Mehta
6 The Socio-psychological Well-Being of Grandparents .......................... 95
Peerasit Kamnuansilpa and Leng Leng Thang
7 Custodial Grandparents and Intergenerational
Support in Rural China ............................................................................ 109
Zhen Cong and Merril Silverstein
8 Empowering Self-disclosure: The Active Post-retiree
Life Accounts of Malaysian and Singaporean Senior Citizens ............. 129
Maya Khemlani David and Kuang Ching Hei
9 Conclusion: Change and Continuity
of Grandparenting in Contemporary Asia ............................................. 145
Leng Leng Thang and Kalyani K. Mehta

Index ................................................................................................................. 159

xi
Contributors

Iris Chi University of Southern California, Los Angeles, 90089-0411, CA, USA,
[email protected]
Zhen Cong Department of Human Development and Family Studies, Texas Tech
University, Box 41230, Lubbock, TX 79409, USA, [email protected]
Maya Khemlani David Member of the International Advisory Board of Linguapax,
Head of Section for Co-Curricular Activities, Elective Courses by Other
Faculties and TITAS (SKET), Staff of Faculty of Languages and Linguistics,
Faculty of Languages & Linguistics, University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
[email protected]
Kuang Ching Hei English Language Department, Faculty of Languages &
Linguistics, University of Malaya, 50603 Lembah Pantai, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia,
[email protected]
Peerasit Kamnuansilpa College of Local Administration, Khon Kaen University,
Khon Kaen 40002, Thailand, [email protected]
Vivian W.Q. Lou Department of Social Work & Social Administration, Sau Po
Centre on Ageing, The University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong, People’s Republic
of China, [email protected]
Kalyani K. Mehta Gerontology Programme, School of Human Development and
Social Services, University of SIM, 461 Clementi Road, Clementi 599491,
Singapore, [email protected]
Merril Silverstein Davis School of Gerontology and Department of Sociology,
University of Southern California, Los Angeles, CA 90089-0191, USA,
[email protected]
Leng Leng Thang Department of Japanese Studies, National University of
Singapore, Blk AS 4 # 03-32, 9 Arts Link, Singapore 117570, Singapore,
[email protected]

xiii
xiv Contributors

Mari Tsuruwaka St Luke’s College of Nursing, 10-1 Akashi-cho, Chuo-ku,

Tokyo 104-0044, Japan, [email protected]
Tsuneo Usui School of Human Sciences, Waseda University, 2-579-15 Mikajima,
Tokorozawa Saitama 359-1192, Japan, [email protected]
Chapter 1
Introduction: Grandparenthood in Asia

Kalyani K. Mehta and Leng Leng Thang

Have you ever wondered why the word grandparent has the ‘parent’ component in
it? Is it because grandparent is one’s parent’s parent OR is it because a grandparent
has the love and compassion of a parent? As this book focuses on the Asian grand-
parent, let us take a quick look at the terminology to gain some insights. In Mandarin
language, the paternal grandfather is Ye Ye, and the grandmother is Nainai. The
maternal grandfather is Waigong, and the grandmother is Waipo. Respectively, in
Thai, the paternal grandfather is Pu, and the grandmother is Ya; the maternal grand-
father is Dta, and the grandmother is Yai. In the Malay language, the corollary is
Datuk and Nenek. No distinction is made between maternal and paternal lineage.
Similarly, in Japanese language, the grandfather is Ojiisan, and the grandmother is
Obaasan. The most interesting, in our opinion, is the term in Gujarati for paternal
grandmother, Baa, and for the grandfather, Dada. The term for maternal grand-
mother is Nani, and the grandfather is Nana. They are simple words, easy for a
young toddler to remember and to vocalise. This examination of linguistic terms of
address reveals that, in some cultures, lineage is extremely important as in Chinese
and Gujarati; thus, different words are used for maternal and paternal lineages.

K.K. Mehta (*)

Gerontology Programme, School of Human Development and Social Services,
University of SIM, 461 Clementi Road, Clementi 599491, Singapore
e-mail: [email protected]
L.L. Thang
Department of Japanese Studies, National University of Singapore,
Blk AS 4 # 03-32, 9 Arts Link, Singapore 117570, Singapore
e-mail: [email protected]

K.K. Mehta and L.L. Thang (eds.), Experiencing Grandparenthood: An Asian 1

Perspective, Social Indicators Research Series 47, DOI 10.1007/978-94-007-2303-0_1,
© Springer Science+Business Media B.V. 2012
2 K.K. Mehta and L.L. Thang

In some languages, the word for ‘grandfather’ is similar to ‘father’, and this is
echoed for grandmother and mother. Did our ancestors prescribe that one’s parent’s
parent is meant to be as close as the parent? An Asian Indian saying goes: ‘More
valuable than one’s investment is the interest we gain from the investment’ (here,
investment refers to children, and interest refers to grandchildren). Many a time, we
hear older generations saying that they did not have ample time to play with their
children, unlike the unlimited time they have for their grandchildren!

1 The Attention on Grandparenthood

Scholarly interest in grandparent–grandchild relationships has grown dramatically

since the mid-1980s, with global trends in demographic and family transformations.
Amongst the discourses on grandparenthood is the general recognition of the diversity
and complexity in understanding what entails being a grandparent (Bengtson and
Robertson 1985; Giarrusso et al. 1995; Silverstein and Bengtson 1997; Silverstein
et al. 2003). As Vern Bengtson mentions in one of the early influential works on
grandparenthood: ‘the growing body of empirical research points to the heterogeneity
among grandparents, to the dangers in stereotyping and overgeneralizing, and to the
likelihood of increasing differentiation in grandparents’ roles in the future’ (Bengtson
and Robertson 1985: 11). This is reinforced by Silverstein et al. (2003) in their
review of the role of grandparents in the family system. Whilst commenting that
‘the contribution of grandparents is an important but often overlooked resource in
promoting optimal family functioning’ (2003: 77), they note that, despite an unprec-
edented increase in the number of grandparents across societies with longer life
expectancy, there are ‘few explicit expectations concerning the responsibilities and
proscribed behaviour of grandparents, the act of grandparenting is often fraught
with uncertainty over the appropriate type and level of involvement grandparents
ought to have with grandchildren’ (Silverstein et al. 2003: 78).
Nonetheless, despite the heterogeneity of what determines the roles and behaviours
of grandparents, we see in the development of the literature on grandparenthood a
greater research interest in the significance and contributions of grandparenthood to
roles in the family. From the classical family sociological model of the older genera-
tions being peripheral to family life (Goode 1964), there is now an increasing aware-
ness on the significant roles played by grandparents in ensuring the stability of
families and the well-being of younger generations (Copen and Silverstein 2007;
Hagestad and Uhlenberg 2006; Uhlenberg and Cheuk 2010).
The symbolic significance of grandparents in promoting family stability has been
one of the most acknowledged contributions, although Bengtson reminds us of
the equally varied dimensions of such a role (Bengtson and Robertson 1985: 21).
The symbolic dimensions of the grandparent’s role are identified as ranging from
the sheer presence of grandparent as a symbol of family continuity, as being a family
historian, mentor, role model, nurturer, ‘national guard’ (Hagestad 1985) and ‘family
watchdog’ (Troll 1983), as transmitters of values, and as arbitrators for the parent