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opinion
PRIME

PRIME
A Bittere Gelechter—
Gallows-, Galus-, and Grief-Humor Nota actually laughed. Leo Rosten was right

P
by Mordechai Schiller

ull up a chair. We have to talk.

when he said, “Old jokes are like old friends.”
I don’t want to burden you with
my pain. More importantly, I don’t
want to hurt you. So, if you are dealing with Meanwhile, b”H, Nota had started to come around. whether to tell me and the Rebbe said not to. The entire
your own grief — or if you’re especially sen- After days of struggling, he opened his eyes and was family maintained the conspiracy of silence. After I
sitive — please turn the page. eventually able to speak a little, although with some dif- found out, I got an extra tear in my jacket, and in my
If you’re still with me, let me fill you in. ficulty. heart. Then one of Binyamin’s sons felt safe to call me.
I started eating bitter herbs early this At one point, he groaned. I asked, “What’s hurting I told him I was sitting shivah on the family plan.
year. After Tu BiShvat — in mid-February you?” He said, “I’m uncomfortable.” I trotted out the old My nephew gasped and said, “Uncle Mordechai. Only
— I got word that my brother Nota (Rabbi joke: “A Jew gets hit by a car. A paramedic puts a pillow you could find a joke in it!”
Nota Schiller, zt”l, Rosh Yeshivah of Ohr under his head and asks, ‘Are you comfortable?’ The Jew Frankly, by that time I was numb. My system had
Somayach) was taken to Shaare Zedek answers, ‘I make a living.’” short-circuited. The only way I could cope was to take
hospital with an infection and was not Nota actually laughed. Leo Rosten was right when he refuge in humor.
responding. said, “Old jokes are like old friends.” A few weeks later, when my wife saw that I didn’t take
Two years earlier, my wife (aka Peshe) Soon, Nota was able to eat a little pureed food; and he along enough clothes for Pesach, I told her, “I came pre-
dropped everything and, the day after wanted to go home. One of his sons said he can go home pared for two and a half weeks, not three lifetimes.”
Purim, flew to see her sister Rivkah, a”h, when he feels better. He insisted, “I feel better. Who OK, so maybe you’re thinking, is that even normal?
who had been brought to Shaare Zedek decides?” Viktor Frankl, the esteemed psychiatrist and Holo-
with pancreatitis, then slipped into a coma The one to decide was Dr. Gavriel Munter, director caust survivor, thought it was not only normal, but a key
and went septic. The prognosis was dismal. of internal medicine in Dept. C at Shaare Zedek. (Years to survival even under the worst circumstances. As he
My brother Nota was not conscious, but earlier, Dr. Munter was Harav Elyashiv’s doctor.) I asked put it:
But b’chasdei Hashem, with her family fly-
it was not a coma. However, on top of the Dr. Munter when my brother could have some scotch. He “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the
ing in and pulling together to give her sup-
infection, he had a stroke, which compli- said, “When he can have some, I’ll come drink with him.” last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in
port every day — and with the heroic efforts
cated the situation. They never had the drink. Nota passed away the Shab- any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
of the doctors and nurses at Shaare Zedek
The next day, I called my sister-in-law bos before Purim. More specifically, Frankl wrote. “Humor was another
— she miraculously bounced back and was
Rivkah and said I want to come see her, Meanwhile, my daughters told my wife she’d better of the soul’s weapons in the fight for self-preservation. It
eventually moved to rehab in Maale Adu-
but I don’t know when I’ll be able to. She come fast. But she got a call just before boarding the plane is well known that humor, more than anything else in the
mim. A few months later, she was able to
said, “You have to be with your brother. that her sister had already passed away. I wasn’t allowed human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to
start walking again.
I’m davening for him every day.” to go because I was in the middle of shivah, but my wife rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds.”
26 Nisan 5785 // April 24, 2025

26 Nisan 5785 // April 24, 2025

With that experience in mind, I optimis-
But a few days later, my daughters took made it to Yerushalayim just in time for the funeral. Humor is also built into the Jewish psyche. In his
tically booked a ticket for two and a half
me to Maale Adumim, where a nurse told Meanwhile, my son Meilech came from Lakewood, autobiography, Der Koyekh fun Yiddishn Humor (The
weeks. I was also reminded about how both
us, “She’s not here.” That Shabbos, she N.J., and, because he came to the shivah for my brother, Impact of Jewish Humor), Shimon Dzigan wrote, “I told
my brother and my sister-in-law had been
had another attack of pancreatitis and he was at his aunt Rivkah’s funeral and shivah. jokes, and everything inside me wept.”
asking when we were moving back to Eretz
they took her to Hadassah Mt. Scopus. So he wound up consoling both of his parents. Even more so, it’s part of my DNA.
Yisrael. Peshe and I kept telling them that
We went to Hadassah and things looked But he also came with other news. Six weeks earlier, Before my father passed away, he gave my brother
we’re working on our aliyah, but the obsta-
really grim. But she managed to ask how during sheva brachos for my granddaughter (Meilech’s Nota his watch.
cle course is slow-going.
my brother was and to say she’s davening daughter Rochel Leah), my brother Binyamin, zt”l, had Nota refused to take it.
My daughters picked me up at the air-
for him. passed away. Dad handed it to him again and said, “I know what I’m
port and drove me straight to the hospital.
Meilech, ybl”c, asked the Amshinover Rebbe, shlita, doing. Nobody gets out of this world alive.” n
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