Love and Will PDF

Rollo May

Scan to Download
 Love and Will
Exploring the Essence and Interconnection of Love
and Will.
Written by Bookey
Check more about Love and Will Summary
Listen Love and Will Audiobook

Scan to Download
About the book
In "Love and Will," Rollo May explores the profound
complexities of the human experience by delving into the true
meanings of love and will, as well as their interconnectedness.
By offering innovative perspectives on these essential
concepts, May illuminates the path to greater self-awareness
and understanding, guiding readers toward a richer, more
conscious existence.

Scan to Download
About the author
Rollo May was a prominent American existential psychologist
and author, best known for his groundbreaking contributions
to humanistic psychology and the exploration of the human
experience. Born on April 21, 1909, May's work emphasized
the importance of personal responsibility and the pursuit of
meaning, reflecting the complexities of human existence
amidst the challenges of modern society. He drew upon
existential philosophy, integrating it with psychological
principles to address the struggles of love, will, and creativity.
May's influential writings, including his seminal book "Love
and Will," challenge readers to confront their fears and
embrace their individuality, positioning him as a crucial figure
in the field of psychology and a thought leader in
understanding the intricacies of human emotions and
relationships.

Scan to Download
Summary Content List
Chapter 1 : INTRODUCTION: OUR SCHIZOID WORLD

Chapter 2 : PARADOXES OF SEX AND LOVE

Chapter 3 : EROS IN CONFLICT WITH SEX

Chapter 4 : LOVE AND DEATH

Chapter 5 : LOVE AND THE DAIMONIC

Chapter 6 : THE DAIMONIC IN DIALOGUE

Chapter 7 : THE WILL IN CRISIS

Chapter 8 : WISH AND WILL

Chapter 9 : INTENTIONALITY

Chapter 10 : INTENTIONALITY IN THERAPY

Chapter 11 : THE RELATION OF LOVE AND WILL

Chapter 12 : THE MEANING OF CARE

Chapter 13 : COMMUNION OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Scan to Download
Chapter 1 Summary :
INTRODUCTION: OUR SCHIZOID
WORLD

INTRODUCTION: OUR SCHIZOID WORLD

In contemporary society, love and will, once regarded as

resolutions to life's challenges, have transformed into
significant problems. In this transitional age, old myths and
symbols that provided guidance have faded, leading to
widespread anxiety and insecurity. Individuals grapple with a
crisis of identity, feeling powerless and increasingly
apathetic, potentially spiraling into violence as a result of
their numbness.
Historically, self-esteem was linked to one's achievement of

Scan to Download
love. The absence of love leaves individuals feeling like
pariahs, plagued by the belief they have missed out on life's
greatest secret. Concurrently, the banalization of love and
increasing divorce rates contribute to a disillusioned outlook
on relationships, where the pursuit of love has been
overshadowed by a focus on sexual encounters, which often
lack meaning.
The conceptualization of love has become problematic, with
some concluding that it serves as a mechanism of control.
Likewise, the notion of will, seen as a rational
decision-making faculty in the past, is now questioned,
leading individuals to seek substitutes through therapy and
conditioning techniques to regain a sense of direction in their
lives.
The current cultural state prompts individuals to introspect,
searching for the deeper sources of love and will within
themselves and society. The term "schizoid" reflects a
general societal tendency toward emotional detachment and
avoidance of close relationships, a symptom of a broader
cultural crisis.
The connection between the schizoid condition and the
technological advancements of modern life has led to a
creative stagnation, where the capacity for love and will
becomes obscured. However, within this problematic

Scan to Download
context, opportunities for individual fulfillment and moral
reclamation exist, especially as individuals strive for
understanding amidst the chaos.

PROBLEMS AS PROPHETIC

The author bases his insights on extensive experience as a

psychoanalytic therapist, observing conflicts centered on love
and will among his patients. While some may argue against
the validity of deriving theories from therapeutic data, these
patient experiences reflect broader, universal human conflicts
that are predictive of cultural shifts.
Creative expression, especially in art, serves as a reflection of
these subconscious struggles. Artists, along with neurotic
individuals, articulate society's hidden conflicts, providing
insight into collective fears and desires that eventually
become pervasive cultural narratives. The creative process
transcends individual pain, offering a means to make sense of
the alienation and nihilism inherent in modern existence.

THE NEUROTIC AS PREDICTIVE

Neurotic individuals embody societal conflicts that remain

unconscious within the broader population. Historical

Scan to Download
cultural crises—such as sexual repression, hostility, and
anxiety—find their roots in the struggles of neurotic
individuals who live these conflicts outwardly. As society
evolves, the issues faced by these individuals often emerge as
pressing cultural themes years later, demonstrating the
predictive quality of their experiences.
Themes of identity emerged prominently in psychological
discourse in the mid-20th century, reflecting societal shifts
toward recognizing the profound uncertainties individuals
faced. The increasing awareness of such problems reinforces
the understanding that psychological issues do not arise in
isolation but rather as reflections of significant sociocultural
changes.

THE EMERGENCE OF APATHY

The author suggests that a pervasive state of apathy

underpins many of the contemporary challenges linked to
love and will. Apathy—characterized by a lack of
feeling—has become a defense mechanism against the
overwhelming demands and stimuli of modern life. This
detachment leads to a profound sense of emptiness and
despair, which affects individuals' ability to connect
meaningfully with others.

Scan to Download
The concept of apathy is intricately tied to the detachment
seen within the schizoid state, where individuals withdraw
from emotional engagement with both themselves and their
surroundings. This condition may stem from cultural
pressures that encourage indifference and uninvolvement
rather than active participation and commitment to life.
The relationship between apathy and violence complicates
the conversation, suggesting that violence sometimes
emerges from an environment devoid of meaningful
connections. The modern individual's struggle against an
increasingly dehumanizing society necessitates a
re-evaluation of how love and will can be reclaimed and
reinstated in a constructive manner.
Ultimately, the author posits that recognizing the
implications of apathy and its connection to societal
disconnection is essential for understanding how to foster
love and will in contemporary culture. Resisting the nihilism
and alienation of modern existence may require embracing
creativity and deep emotional engagement, highlighting the
intrinsic potential for transformation amid the struggles of
our time.

Scan to Download
 Chapter 2 Summary : PARADOXES OF
SEX AND LOVE
Section Summary

Foundation Love in Western tradition is categorized into four types: sex (lust), eros (creative love), philia (friendship), and
of Love agape (selfless love). These elements blend in human experiences and begin with sexual intercourse, which is
Types essential for procreation and tied to human pleasures and anxieties.

Sexual Historical attitudes towards sex have shifted from Victorian repression to contemporary omnipresence, yet
Wilderness genuine enjoyment is often lacking. While external anxieties have decreased, internal pressures about personal
performance in relationships have increased.

Salvation The focus on sexual techniques has led to a decline in passion and intimacy, causing encounters to be seen in
Through mechanical terms without emotional connection, resulting in unfulfilling experiences.
Technique

The New Modern sexual freedom has morphed into a "new puritanism" characterized by emotional detachment,
Puritanism compartmentalization of feelings, and reducing sexual encounters to mere physical acts without deeper
connections, creating guilt and emotional distance.

Freud and Freudian ideas of control and sublimation are intertwined with moral anxieties regarding sexuality. While
Puritanism psychoanalysis helps understand repressed desires, it can also reinforce puritanical views of sex.

Motives of Many individuals are desensitized to sexual experiences, driven more by societal expectations and personal
the identity than by love itself, making sex feel more like a performance than a meaningful connection.
Problem

The Revolt As genuine intimacy declines, individuals may develop an aversion to sex. The mechanical nature of modern
Against relationships leads to disillusionment and boredom, highlighting a loss of personal and passionate aspects of
Sex love.

Conclusion Rollo May's exploration reveals the complexities and contradictions of sex and love in contemporary culture,
demonstrating how societal shifts have transformed relationships into paradoxes filled with anxiety,
performance pressure, and detachment.

PARADOXES OF SEX AND LOVE

Foundation of Love Types

In Western tradition, love is categorized into four types: sex

Scan to Download
(lust), eros (creative love), philia (friendship), and agape
(selfless love). These elements blend together in human
experiences of love, fundamentally beginning with sexual
intercourse, which drives procreation and connects to deep
human pleasures and anxieties. Despite societal trivialization
of sex, its primal power persists.

Sexual Wilderness

Historical attitudes towards sex have shifted radically.

Victorian society largely denied sexual discussions, whereas
contemporary discussions are ubiquitous yet often devoid of
genuine enjoyment. While external anxieties surrounding sex
have diminished, internal anxieties, particularly regarding
personal performance and satisfaction in relationships, have
intensified. Individuals now grapple with proving their
sexual adequacy rather than confronting societal taboos.

Salvation Through Technique

The modern focus on techniques in sex is paradoxically

linked with a decline in genuine passion and intimacy.
Lovers may become preoccupied with performance and
techniques, viewing sexual encounters in mechanical terms

Scan to Download
rather than authentic connections that foster emotional
closeness. This results in experiences that feel hollow and
unfulfilling.

The New Puritanism

Contemporary sexual freedom has evolved into a new form

of puritanism—what the author terms "new puritanism." This
ideology emphasizes emotional detachment from the body,
compartmentalizes feelings, and reduces sexual experiences
to mere physical acts without deeper emotional connections.
Individuals feel pressured to express sexual desires while
simultaneously repressing genuine passion or commitment,
creating a cycle of guilt and emotional distance.

Freud and Puritanism

Freudian concepts, initially associated with sexual liberation,

are intertwined with the current moral anxiety surrounding
sexuality and intimacy. Freud’s emphasis on control and
sublimation of desires reflects a foundational puritanism.
While psychoanalysis opens the door to understanding
repressed desires, it may inadvertently reinforce puritanical
views about sexuality and passion.

Scan to Download
Motives of the Problem

Many individuals appear desensitized to sexual experiences,

often driven by motives that deviate from love itself. Factors
such as societal expectations, a desire for personal identity,
and feelings of loneliness contribute to an atmosphere where
sex becomes more of a performance than a meaningful
encounter.

The Revolt Against Sex

As the genuine intimacy in sexual expression declines,

individuals may increasingly develop an aversion towards
sex altogether. The mechanical nature of modern
relationships often leads to disillusionment and boredom.
The overarching theme is a loss of the personal and
passionate aspects of love and sexuality, raising concerns
about the implications for human connection and empathy in
society.
In conclusion, Rollo May's exploration in this chapter reveals
the complexities and contradictions of sex and love in
contemporary culture, illustrating how societal shifts have
transformed intimate relationships into paradoxes filled with
anxiety, performance pressure, and detachment.

Scan to Download
Chapter 3 Summary : EROS IN
CONFLICT WITH SEX

EROS IN CONFLICT WITH SEX

Eros, as depicted in Greek mythology, symbolizes the

essence of love, vitality, and creation. However, modern
society has distanced itself from the deeper emotional
connections of eros and has instead reduced sex to a mere
physical act, leading to the banalization of love and sexual
experiences. The thesis posits that the separation of sex from
eros has resulted in the dehumanization of both concepts,
with sex being used as an escape from the emotional
complications that eros entails.

THE RETURN OF REPRESSED EROS

Despite advancements in contraception and sexual freedom,

there remains a significant repression of eros, wherein the
anxieties surrounding love and intimacy are conveniently
ignored. The rise in illegitimate pregnancies and related
social issues suggests that the search for identity and

Scan to Download
affirmation drives individuals toward impulsive sexual
behaviors. This return of repressed eros manifests in deeper
psychological needs which cannot be fulfilled by mere sexual
encounters.

WHAT IS EROS?

Eros is often misconceived as synonymous with erotic

desires; however, it encompasses a more profound
connection that transcends the physicality associated with
sex. Eros represents a longing for deeper relationships,
creativity, and a unity with oneself and others. In contrast,
sex is primarily physiological—focused on tension and
release—while eros is about the experience, meaning, and
connection behind the act.

EROS IN PLATO

Plato’s dialogues underscore eros as a unifying force,

fostering a drive for knowledge, beauty, and truth. Eros
propels individuals towards creativity, forming connections
Install
between theBookey
divine andApp torealms.
mortal Unlock TheFull Text and
distinction lies in
Audio
viewing the act of loving, not merely as a biological urge, but
as a potential path to deeper understanding and fulfillment.

Scan to Download
 Chapter 4 Summary : LOVE AND
DEATH

Section Summary

LOVE AND DEATH Awareness of death enhances appreciation for love and existence, intensifying feelings of
beauty and anxiety.

LOVE AS THE INTIMATION Love embodies both joy and sorrow; awareness of death introduces fear of loss, making
OF MORTALITY love exhilarating yet terrifying.

DEATH AND THE Modern sexual obsession may serve as a distraction from death, creating vitality but also
OBSESSION WITH SEX trivializing intimacy.

THE TRAGIC SENSE IN Tragedy in love reveals its dual capacity for ecstasy and despair, enriching understanding
LOVE of human struggles.

THE TRAGIC AND Differences between genders lead to a longing for connection, highlighting the quest for
SEPARATION wholeness amidst separations.

CONTRACEPTIVES AND Contraceptives provide choice but deepen complexities in love and responsibility,
THE TRAGIC reflecting both modern and historical worries.

Overall Theme Interconnections between love, death, and sexuality mark profound human experiences
filled with joy, tragedy, and the search for meaning.

LOVE AND DEATH

The awareness of death intensifies our appreciation for love

Scan to Download
and existence, making everything feel more sacred and
beautiful. According to Maslow, this awareness can lead to
more passionate love, raising the question of whether love
would exist without the inevitability of death. This creates a
paradox where love heightens our understanding of mortality
while also invoking feelings of anxiety and vulnerability.

LOVE AS THE INTIMATION OF MORTALITY

To love involves embracing both joy and sorrow, as love

leads us into a transformative experience of existence.
Initially, love presents itself as purely positive. However, the
underlying awareness of death casts a shadow over new
relationships, raising fears of loss and the potential for
destruction. This dual nature of love makes the experience
both exhilarating and terrifying, often causing anxiety
especially when love is requited. The parents' love for their
children further exemplifies this vulnerability, where the fear
of losing a loved one sharpens the understanding of
mortality.

DEATH AND THE OBSESSION WITH SEX

A modern obsession with sex can be seen as a defense

Scan to Download
mechanism against the fear of death. The lack of communal
beliefs in immortality allows society to repress this fear,
resulting in a pronounced focus on sexual encounters that
often serve as distractions. This preoccupation with sexuality
simulates a sense of vitality, allowing individuals to assert
their existence against the backdrop of inevitable death. Yet,
this overshadowing of death also leads to a dissonance where
physical intimacy becomes trivialized and devoid of deeper
meaning.

THE TRAGIC SENSE IN LOVE

Tragedy, as expressed in classic literature like "Romeo and

Juliet," speaks to the paradox of love's capacity for both
elevating joy and invoking despair. Female and male
experiences of love result in yearning, ecstasy, and often
temporary separations due to existential realities. The
understanding of tragedy enriches the understanding of love
and sex, emphasizing the human struggle against
meaninglessness.

THE TRAGIC AND SEPARATION

The inherent differences between men and women create a

Scan to Download
longing for wholeness, often resulting in temporary
fulfillment that leaves a void. This interplay of separation
and reunion underscores the ongoing quest for connection,
revealing deeper truths about being and existence.

CONTRACEPTIVES AND THE TRAGIC

While modern contraceptives aim to ease the burden of

unintended pregnancies, they cannot dispel the tragic nature
of love and sex. The freedom to choose also engenders
greater responsibility, revealing complex psychological
dynamics around familial expectations and societal pressures.
This leads to an ambivalence that manifests in both romantic
pursuits and the parental experience, where modern worries
can parallel historical ones regarding the sacredness and
responsibilities of procreation.
In summary, the relationships intertwined between love,
death, and sexuality reveal profound human experiences
characterized by joy, tragedy, anxiety, and the quest for
meaning in an often-chaotic existence.

Scan to Download
Example
Key Point:Embracing the Paradox of Love and
Mortality
Example:Imagine you are deeply in love, savoring every
moment with your partner, while an unsettling thought
occasionally creeps in: the awareness that one day this
will end. This profound recognition of mortality
enriches your love, deepening the meaning behind each
shared smile and whispered secret. Yet, it's a
double-edged sword; the same awareness that makes
your moments feel precious also stirs anxiety about
potential loss, making love the most exhilarating yet
terrifying experience you will ever inhabit.

Scan to Download
Critical Thinking
Key Point:The interplay of love and mortality
provides a profound lens through which to evaluate
human relationships.
Critical Interpretation:Rollo May suggests that the
awareness of death intensifies our capacity to love,
framing existence as imbued with both beauty and
anxiety. Nevertheless, one could argue against this
deterministic view, positing that love and joy could
exist independently of mortality. Philosophers like
Martin Heidegger, for instance, posit a relationship with
time that does not strictly equate to the fear of death
influencing love. Additionally, research in psychology
has shown that love can be motivated by factors other
than existential awareness, such as social bonds and
personal fulfillment. Thus, while May's perspective
provides a compelling insight into the complexity of
love, it may not encapsulate the entirety of the human
experience regarding love and existence.

Scan to Download
Chapter 5 Summary : LOVE AND THE
DAIMONIC

LOVE AND THE DAIMONIC

In this chapter, Rollo May explores the concept of the

daimonic as a fundamental aspect of human experience,
intertwined with love and creativity. He references Plato's
identification of Eros as a daimon, indicating a deep
connection between love and the natural impulses that can
either create or destroy. The daimonic is described as any
natural function that has the potential to consume the
individual, manifesting through sex, eros, anger, and the
craving for power. When these energies dominate without
integration, they lead to psychological disorders, also
referred to as "daimon possession".
May emphasizes the dual nature of the daimonic—its power
to unleash creativity but also destruction. It's not merely a
personal or moral issue; it stems from natural forces and
influences human behavior and relationships. Citing
historical and philosophical references, including Socrates
and Aristotle, he delineates the idea that the daimonic

Scan to Download
encompasses both good and evil, urging individuals to
embrace it for a full experience of life.
The chapter critiques modern society's tendency to detach
from the daimonic, warning that rejecting these impulses
risks losing essential vitality and love. May suggests that
confronting the daimonic is crucial for personal growth and
genuine relationships. Healing and psychotherapy can aid in
channeling the daimonic energies constructively.
May provides examples from primitive psychotherapy,
illustrating how communities confront the daimonic in
healing rituals. He discusses the historical evolution of the
concept, noting shifts in understanding from ancient Greece
through the Enlightenment, and into modern psychology,
particularly Freud's perspectives on human impulses and
desires.
Further, he discusses the interplay between love and the
daimonic, illustrating how the acknowledgment of anger and
negative feelings can coexist with love, leading individuals
towards deeper, more authentic relationships. Lastly, the
chapter suggests that recognizing and integrating the
daimonic within oneself is essential for achieving both
personal agency and meaningful connections with others.

Scan to Download
Critical Thinking
Key Point:The dual nature of the daimonic
represents both creativity and destruction in human
relationships.
Critical Interpretation:Rollo May’s perspective on the
daimonic suggests that embracing our primal impulses
is essential to fully experience love and creativity,
highlighting a juxtaposition between potential
destruction and the vitality of emotional expression.
However, this view may oversimplify the complexities
of modern psychological health, wherein the
acknowledgment of destructive impulses does not
always lead to constructive outcomes. Critics argue that
excessive focus on the daimonic, without proper context
or balance, may lead individuals to justify harmful
behaviors under the guise of embracing their 'true
selves'. For a broader understanding, sources such as
Erich Fromm's 'The Art of Loving' and Viktor Frankl’s
'Man's Search for Meaning' provide alternative
interpretations emphasizing conscious choice and moral
considerations in love and interpersonal relationships.

Scan to Download
Chapter 6 Summary : THE DAIMONIC
IN DIALOGUE

THE DAIMONIC IN DIALOGUE

In this chapter, Rollo May explores the concept of the

"daimonic," which refers to inner drives and tendencies that
can manifest in both constructive and destructive ways. The
author emphasizes the importance of dialogue as a means to
integrate these daimonic forces, maintaining that personal
growth and moral development arise from understanding and
engaging with them in relationship with others.

INNER VOICES AND THE DAIMONIC

May begins by examining the inner voices or daimonic

aspects individuals experience. He questions how one can
discern whether these voices provide genuine guidance,
citing examples from history and psychology, including
Socrates and modern schizophrenia. He argues that the
daimonic can lead to anarchy if untamed, but dialogue offers
a path to integration and moral responsibility.

Scan to Download
DIALOGUE AS INTEGRATION

Dialogue is portrayed as a crucial element that allows

individuals to exist in relationship and understand one
another meaningfully. This communication fosters a sense of
community and prevents the daimonic from becoming an
isolating force. The process of sharing our daimonic
experiences through dialogue legitimizes and integrates them
into our lives. May highlights Socratic questioning as a
powerful method that helps reveal underlying truths, utilizing
language and interpersonal connection.

THE DAIMONIC STAGE AND ANONYMITY

The chapter also covers the stages of experiencing the

daimonic, beginning with blind urges that can lead to violent
or destructive behavior when collective, such as in mobs. The
loss of individuality often results in anonymity, wherein
personal responsibility is relinquished. May warns that this
anonymity leads to the impersonal daimonic, driving
Install to
individuals Bookey App
act without to Unlock
regard for their Full Text and
personal
conscience. Audio

Scan to Download
Chapter 7 Summary : THE WILL IN
CRISIS

WILL

SEVEN

THE WILL IN CRISIS

The loss of love, affirmation, and decisiveness in personal

relationships has led to a crisis of will in modern society.
This chapter explores the complexities of will, particularly in
parenting and personal accountability, through the lens of
psychological and cultural transformations since the
Victorian era.

THE UNDERMINING OF PERSONAL

RESPONSIBILITY

Freud's criticism of Victorian ideals of will power revealed

Scan to Download
the influence of unconscious motivations on behavior. This
analysis undermined individual responsibility and
contributed to the perception of man as driven by instinct
rather than exercising will. This deterministic view has
fostered a sense of impotence in individuals, especially amid
modern challenges such as nuclear threat and socio-economic
pressures.

CONTRADICTION IN WILL

Despite contemporary advancements granting immense

power, individuals often feel powerless and overwhelmed by
external forces. This contradiction breeds anxiety and
disillusionment, especially as society grapples with new
freedoms, such as birth control, against a backdrop of
increasingly complex moral dilemmas.

THE CASE OF JOHN

This section presents a clinical case of John, a patient whose

intense anxiety and eventual catatonia illustrate the broader
crisis of will. John's compulsive behavior was linked to an
overwhelming sense of moral responsibility, leading to a
complete paralysis of decision-making, highlighting the

Scan to Download
debilitating effects of existential anxiety.

WILL IN PSYCHOANALYSIS

The chapter discusses how psychoanalysis faces a crisis in

addressing will and decision-making, as the deterministic
framework of traditional psychology often undermines
individual autonomy. Analysts struggle with the necessity of
empowering patients to make choices while also adhering to
theories that negate such freedom.

ILLUSION AND WILL

The tension between perceived freedom and the deterministic

nature of behavior raises questions about the validity of
choice in psychotherapy. This section critiques the notion
that patients may need to embrace some illusion of freedom
for therapeutic change to occur, arguing for a more integrated
understanding of human experience that encompasses both
freedom and determinism.
In conclusion, the crisis of will reflects larger cultural and
psychological shifts. The duality of increased personal power
coupled with an overwhelming sense of helplessness presents
a complex challenge that modern individuals must navigate.

Scan to Download
The search for new foundations for will and values is critical
in overcoming this paralysis and re-establishing a sense of
personal agency.

Scan to Download
Chapter 8 Summary : WISH AND
WILL

WISH AND WILL

In exploring the intersection of wish and will, Rollo May

argues that it's essential for therapy to focus on the conscious
decisions of individuals rather than leaving their choices to
chance or deterministic factors. The existence of forces we
cannot control should not overshadow our capacity to
exercise will and make conscious decisions. The interplay
between will and wish is vital to understanding human
experience, emphasizing that the exploration of these
concepts can yield new insights into volition.

THE DEMISE OF WILL POWER

May critiques the notion of "will power," suggesting it

reflects the Victorian era's attempt to suppress instinctual
desires and rationalize behaviors. This repression leads to
emotional voids and compulsive behaviors, as seen in a
therapeutic case study of a woman whose superficial strength

Scan to Download
masked deep-seated loneliness and unresolved childhood
longings.

FREUD’S ANTI-WILL SYSTEM

Freud's psychoanalysis is characterized as an "anti-will

system," where will is subjugated to unconscious forces and
societal norms. May contends that Freud's insights stem from
the cultural repression of will and emphasizes a need to
reclaim the positive dimensions of human volition to restore
dignity to human experience.

THE WISH

Freud equated "wish" with the driving force of human

behavior, positing it as the engine of mental processes. May
argues that the human wish transcends mere instinctual
demands, incorporating symbolic meanings that evolve as
individuals gain consciousness. This symbolic aspect
transforms wishes from blind impulses into meaningful
drives influencing behavior and relationships.

ILLNESS AS THE INABILITY TO WISH

Scan to Download
May points to a societal incapacity to wish as a source of
illness and despair, as illustrated by T.S. Eliot’s *The Waste
Land*. He argues that the paralysis of wishing leads to a
cultural and emotional wasteland, highlighting the essential
connection between faith, meaning, and the ability to wish.

LACK OF CAPACITY TO WISH

Father William Lynch suggests that therapeutic efforts

should focus on enhancing the capacity to wish, viewing
wish as a creative act of imagination. This involves
recognizing the mutuality inherent in wishing and the
necessity for genuine connection with others, echoing the
philosophical insights of St. Augustine.

WILLIAM JAMES AND WILL

May reflects on William James's struggles with will and

decision-making, drawing attention to his insights on the role
of attention in the exercise of will. James stresses the
spontaneous nature of will, which becomes impaired during
conflict. However, May argues that James's analysis fails to
capture the underlying complexities of will, suggesting that a
deeper exploration of intentionality can bridge the conscious
and unconscious aspects of human experience.

Scan to Download
Chapter 9 Summary :
INTENTIONALITY

INTENTIONALITY

Learning is a process of growth, fostering complexity in both

knowledge and the learner. A fundamental aspect emerging
from the analysis of wishes is intentionality—the structure
that gives meaning to experience. Intentionality extends
beyond mere intentions, representing our capacity to engage
imaginatively with life’s possibilities. It forms the core of
consciousness and serves as a crucial element in
understanding wish and will.

DEFINITION OF INTENTIONALITY

Intentionality dictates how we perceive the world based on

our intentions. Different circumstances yield varied meanings
from the same stimulus. This relationship underscores the
bridge between the subjective and objective, with
intentionality acting to reconcile the two.

Scan to Download
ROOTS OF INTENTIONALITY

The concept has ancient roots, with philosophers like

Aristotle and Cicero emphasizing its significance. It evolved
in medieval thought, distinguishing between knowing
particular instances and relating them to broader concepts.
Intentionality also implies an active participation in
understanding reality, as noted by Kant, and is inherent in the
process of consciousness, where meaning arises through our
relationship with objects.

CONNECTION TO PSYCHOANALYSIS

In psychoanalysis, patients may fail to perceive certain truths

due to their intentionality. Examples illustrate how a person's
readiness to confront trauma influences their awareness and
memory. Recollection is not merely a function of time;
relational dynamics and confidence are critical for patients to
engage with their pasts.

PERCEPTION AND INTENTIONALITY

Install Bookey App to Unlock Full Text and
Audio
Perception is directed by intentionality, shaped by our
conceptual understanding. The ability to perceive is

Scan to Download
Chapter 10 Summary :
INTENTIONALITY IN THERAPY

INTENTIONALITY IN THERAPY

In therapy, the focus is on understanding and utilizing

intentionality and will when working with individuals facing
psychological challenges. Therapy should generate rich data
on how wish, will, and intentionality are lived and
experienced by emotional beings. Conflict in will, often
observed in neurotic behavior, requires addressing the deep
wishes of the individual to facilitate genuine therapeutic
progress.

CASE OF PRESTON

The case of Preston—a writer grappling with severe writer’s

block—illustrates the application of intentionality in therapy.
Despite prior therapy, Preston continued to experience
anxiety, depression, and difficulties in writing. The therapist
recognizes that successful therapy requires access to the
patient’s intentionality, which may not always manifest as a

Scan to Download
straightforward request for help.
During a session, Preston articulates frustration about his
writing block, indicating feelings of anger and helplessness.
Through the therapist’s inquiries, Preston ultimately
confronts the anger directed toward himself and the therapist,
realizing that a significant component of his block was his
struggle with personal expectations and the pressure of
perceived inadequacies.

STAGES IN THERAPY

Therapy involves three stages: wish, will, and decision. Each

stage builds upon the previous, creating a framework for
personal growth:
1.
Wish
: This dimension focuses on awareness and the recognition of
bodily desires and urges. It encompasses a range of
experiences, from physical longings to deeper emotional
affiliations.
2.
Will
: The second stage transitions those wishes into an active,
conscious self-assertion. Individuals recognize their wishes

Scan to Download
and develop their capacity to take action toward fulfilling
them.
3.
Decision
: The final stage combines wish and will, leading to a
responsible commitment to act in the context of relationships
with others. This dimension emphasizes growth, integration,
and the ethical implications of decisions.

HUMAN FREEDOM

The exploration of freedom in relation to will is crucial.

Freedom does not simply exist in the absence of
determinism; instead, it manifests in how individuals relate
to their circumstances and recognize the underlying
necessities of their lives. The concept of freedom
encompasses the acknowledgment of internal and external
influences while retaining personal agency.
Rollo May echoes William James, emphasizing the need for
individuals to will freedom actively. It is through such acts of
will that one transforms reality and asserts personal
significance within the broader existential context.

CONCLUSION

Scan to Download
Ultimately, effective therapy operates at the intersection of
intentionality, existential recognition, and interpersonal
relationships. By engaging deeply with the dimensions of
wish, will, and decision, therapists can guide individuals
toward profound insights and life transformations, navigating
the complexities of human experience while fostering
emotional freedom and agency.

Scan to Download
 Chapter 11 Summary : THE
RELATION OF LOVE AND WILL

Section Summary

THE RELATION OF Sexual passion is linked to love and will; they are not oppositional but interconnected, as noted
LOVE AND WILL by Schopenhauer.

LOVE AND WILL Emphasizing one over the other can reduce effectiveness; strong will can hinder emotional
BLOCKING EACH connections, while excessive love can lead to passivity.
OTHER

IMPOTENCE AS AN Impotence illustrates the conflict between will and love, often stemming from a lack of emotional
EXAMPLE connection; addressing deeper psychological issues is critical.

IMAGINATION AND True love requires time and imagination; Eros develops slowly, contrasting with the rushed nature
TIME of modern sexual encounters.

UNION OF LOVE AND The goal is to reconcile love and will through conscious development, transitioning from initial
WILL unity with the mother to mature relationships that embrace responsibility and choice.

THE RELATION OF LOVE AND WILL

Sexual passion is intricately linked to both love and will, as

articulated by Schopenhauer, who identifies sexual passion
as the "kernel of the will to live." This idea challenges the

Scan to Download
modern perception that power and love are oppositional
forces. Instead, love and will should be understood as
interconnected aspects of human experience.

LOVE AND WILL BLOCKING EACH OTHER

The relationship between love and will is such that when one
is emphasized at the expense of the other, both can diminish
in effectiveness. For instance, a person with a strong will
may struggle to fully experience love, as observed in a father
who valued control and power in his corporate role but was
unable to connect emotionally with his son. In contrast, an
overemphasis on love without will can lead to a passive
experience that lacks depth and permanence, illustrated by
the indiscriminate nature of "hippie love."

IMPOTENCE AS AN EXAMPLE

Impotence serves as a poignant illustration of the conflict

between will and love. It often arises when a person attempts
to engage in a sexual act without the genuine emotional
connection or love necessary for such intimacy to occur. The
underlying issues of impotence reflect deeper psychological
conflicts rather than a mere physical problem. Engaging in

Scan to Download
imagination and fantasy can help individuals reconnect with
their desires and emotions, leading to healthier relationships.

IMAGINATION AND TIME

An essential aspect of fostering love is the integration of time

and imagination. Eros, or deep emotional connection,
requires time to develop and evolve, contrasting with the
hurried nature often associated with sexual encounters today.
This understanding emphasizes that true love requires
patience and the ability to reflect on the significant moments
and emotions involved.

UNION OF LOVE AND WILL

Ultimately, the goal is to reconcile love and will in conscious

development rather than solely biological growth. The initial
unity with one's mother is characterized by bliss and
acceptance, but this must evolve through the necessary
development of will, which asserts independence and
personal agency. By navigating this transition, an individual
can maturely engage in relationships, embracing
responsibility and choice without yearning for a lost state of
existence. Thus, the integration of love and will emerges as a

Scan to Download
central task of human development, driving toward maturity
and wholeness in interpersonal connections.

Scan to Download
Example
Key Point:The integration of love and will fosters
healthy, mature relationships.
Example:Imagine sitting with a loved one, sharing
heartfelt stories while allowing your thoughts to wander
freely, embodying both passion and a mutual respect for
each other’s independence. This harmony between
love's tender vulnerability and the will's empowering
choice cultivates a profound connection that grows
deeper over time, drawing you both closer together,
illustrating that love isn't just an emotion but a willful
choice to invest in another person's happiness.

Scan to Download
Critical Thinking
Key Point:Interconnectedness of Love and Will
Critical Interpretation:Rollo May posits that love and
will are not opposing forces but are indeed intricately
connected in human experience. This interpretation
invites readers to explore the complexity of human
emotions and relationships, suggesting that an
imbalance between love and will often results in
diminished emotional fulfillment. Critics might argue
that this viewpoint oversimplifies interpersonal
dynamics, overlooking factors such as cultural
influences, personal history, and psychological
variances that could shape one’s capacity to love and
assert will. For further understanding, one might consult
psychological studies on emotional intelligence or
attachment theories, which provide alternative
perspectives on the interplay of love and will, such as
those found in the works of John Bowlby or Daniel
Goleman.

Scan to Download
Chapter 12 Summary : THE MEANING
OF CARE

THE MEANING OF CARE

Only the truly kind man knows how to love and how to hate.
—Confucius
The Vietnam War presents a unique phenomenon in visual
media; the imagery depicted often emphasizes care and
compassion rather than triumph or victory. Photographers
capture intimate moments of soldiers caring for each other
and the vulnerable, like children and families. This focus
represents a deeper human connection, highlighting the state
of care inherent in our shared humanity.

CARE IN LOVE AND WILL

Care signifies that something matters; it stands in contrast to

apathy and is essential for eros and human tenderness.
Infants rely on maternal care for survival, indicating its
psychological and biological significance. Eros cannot exist
without care, which is rooted in the physiological experience

Scan to Download
of pain and love. Heidegger posits that care, or Sorge, is
foundational to will; without it, one's being disintegrates.
Care leads to authentic wishing and willing, where one's
actions reflect commitment and attention to both self and
others.
Care diminishes the risk of apathy, which threatens modern
youth who grapple with feelings of meaninglessness. They
seek affirmation of their existence in a mechanical and
disconnected world.

THE MYTHOS OF CARE

The historical context of the waning spirituality prevalent

during the Hellenistic Age mirrors current societal
challenges, characterized by anxiety and disillusionment.
Writers of this era began to explore psychological conflicts
and perceived the breakdown of ancient myths as a source of
human suffering.
Lucretius, distinct for his sensitive portrayal of human
emotions, illustrated how anxiety stems from a loss of
meaningful communication with the world and others. His
Installon
reflections Bookey App to resonate
human suffering Unlockwith
Fullmodern
Text and
Audio
concerns about the existential void which arises from an
overly rationalistic worldview. Figures like Sisyphus embody

Scan to Download
Chapter 13 Summary : COMMUNION
OF CONSCIOUSNESS

COMMUNION OF CONSCIOUSNESS

The exploration of love and will reveals that simplistic

answers diminish the depth of human questions. True
resolution arises from an expansion of consciousness that
embraces the complexities of existence rather than seeking
straightforward solutions.

LOVE AS PERSONAL

Love evolves from sexual drive to need to desire, shifting

from a purely biological impulse to a deeper psychological
connection. The personal dimension of love demands
self-awareness and choice, highlighting a fundamental
human need for relationship, intimacy, and understanding.

ASPECTS OF THE LOVE ACT

The love act enhances consciousness through tenderness,

Scan to Download
self-affirmation, and connection with the other. It embodies
the complexities of love, moving beyond selfish gratification
towards a profound union that enriches both partners.

CREATING OF CONSCIOUSNESS

Love signifies a return to the essential 'we' experience,

affirming individuality while acknowledging shared origins.
This 'we' foundation is essential for growth in relationships,
where love is deepened by companionship and acceptance,
leading to a vibrant expression of existence.

LOVE, WILL, AND THE FORMS OF SOCIETY

Love and will exist within societal forms that shape human
experience. The artists of each epoch expand consciousness,
revealing new truths that challenge and propel society
towards creativity. The interconnectedness of existence must
be embraced to navigate the complexities of modern life.
In summary, love and will represent a dual force that shapes
the human experience as individuals and as part of a
collective. Embracing complexities in relationships fosters
growth, creativity, and a profound connection to both oneself
and the world.

Scan to Download
Best Quotes from Love and Will by Rollo
May with Page Numbers
View on Bookey Website and Generate Beautiful Quote Images

Chapter 1 | Quotes From Pages 13-32

1....in a transitional age; and ours is an era of
radical transition.
2.Apathy, or a-pathos, is a withdrawal of feeling; it may
begin as playing it cool, a studied practice of being
unconcerned and unaffected.
3.The opposite of will is not indecision—which actually may
represent the struggle of the effort to decide, as in William
James—but being uninvolved, detached, unrelated to the
significant events.
4.The problems of a period are the existential crises of what
can be, but hasn’t yet been resolved;...there would be only
despair.
5....love has become a problem to itself.
Chapter 2 | Quotes From Pages 33-57
1.Sexual intercourse is the human counterpart of the

Scan to Download
 cosmic process.
2.There are four kinds of love in Western tradition. One is
sex, or what we call lust, libido.
3.Regardless of how much sex may be banalized in our
society, it still remains the power of procreation, the drive
which perpetuates the race.
4.In the arts, we have also been discovering what an illusion
it was to believe that mere freedom would solve our
problem.
5.The contemporary puritan holds that it is immoral not to
express your libido.
6.What we did not see in our short-sighted liberalism in sex
was that throwing the individual into an unbounded and
empty sea of free choice does not in itself give freedom,
but is more apt to increase inner conflict.
7.The more one must demonstrate his potency, the more he
treats sexual intercourse—this most intimate and personal
of all acts—as a performance to be judged by exterior
requirements.

Scan to Download
8.It is not surprising that the new puritanism develops
smoldering hostility among the members of our society.
Chapter 3 | Quotes From Pages 58-90
1.Love cannot grow without Passion.
2.By anesthetizing feeling in order to perform better... we
have robbed sex of its power by sidestepping eros; and we
have ended by dehumanizing both.
3.We are experiencing a 'return of the repressed,' a return of
an eros which will not be denied no matter how much it is
bribed on all sides by sex.
4.Eros is the yearning in man which leads him to dedicate
himself to seeking arête, the noble and good life.
5.The aim of desire is not its satisfaction but its prolongation.

Scan to Download
Chapter 4 | Quotes From Pages 91-112
1.My river has never looked so beautiful…. Death,
and its ever present possibility makes love,
passionate love, more possible.
2.To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as
the positive—to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well
as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we
did not know was possible before.
3.The most excruciating joy is accompanied by the
consciousness of the imminence of death—and with the
same intensity. And it seems that one is not possible
without the other.
4.Love is not only enriched by our sense of mortality but
constituted by it.
5.The tragic is an expression of a dimension of consciousness
which gives richness, value, and dignity to human life.
6.Repression of death equals obsession with sex.
Chapter 5 | Quotes From Pages 113-142
1.If my devils are to leave me, I am afraid my angels

Scan to Download
 will take flight as well.
2.Eros is a daimon.
3.The daimonic is any natural function which has the power
to take over the whole person.
4.We never could apply to conscience Yeats’s definition of
the daimonic—that 'other Will,' 'that dazzling, unforeseen
wing-footed wanderer…of our own being but as water with
fire.'
5.To identify with that which haunts you, not in order to fight
it off, but to take it into your self; for it must represent
some rejected element in you.
6.The destructive side of the daimonic is deplored; but we
turn a deaf ear, indeed play ostrich, to the fact that the
destructive side can be met only by transforming that very
power into constructive activities.
7.The dichotomy between devils and angels was carried on
through the Middle Ages, and the word for the daimonic is
now clearly 'demon.'
Chapter 6 | Quotes From Pages 143-164

Scan to Download
1.The effort by which he succeeds in keeping the
right name unwaveringly present to his mind
proves to be his saving moral act.
2.The most important criterion which saves the daimonic
from anarchy is dialogue.
3.To be guided by your daimon requires a fundamental
humility.
4.Does the proposed way of acting make for the integration
of the individual as a totality?
5.The word skates always on the edge of the danger of
covering up the daimonic as well as disclosing it.
6.The daimonic pushes us toward the logos.
7.If we repress the daimonic, we shall find these powers
returning to ‘sicken’ us.
8.Logos speaks not only in objective laws but subjectively,
through the individual person.
9.The naming gives one power over the other person or
thing.
10.The journey of the daimonic illustrates that conflict

Scan to Download
presupposes some need for a shift, some change in
Gestalt.

Scan to Download
Chapter 7 | Quotes From Pages 165-184
1.This is [our] true predicament: together with the
fear of man we have lost the love of man, the
affirmation of man, the will to man.
2.The inherited basis of our capacity for will and decision has
been irrevocably destroyed.
3.Thus, the crisis in will does not arise from either the
presence or absence of power in the individual’s world. It
comes from the contradiction between the two—the result
of which is a paralysis of will.
4.The phrase used, for example, for exploring new worlds
through drugs or 'happenings' is to 'turn on.'
5.We have tacitly given the power of decision over to our
adversary.
6.The lack of will is much more than merely an ethical
problem: the modern individual so often has the conviction
that even if he did exert his 'will',—or whatever illusion
passes for it—his actions wouldn’t do any good anyway.
7.In our understanding of human nature we have gained

Scan to Download
 determinism, lost determination.
Chapter 8 | Quotes From Pages 185-205
1.Life is very long —T. S. Eliot
2....the very stone which the builders rejected is the head of
the corner.
3.To cease wishing is to be dead, or at least to inhabit a land
of the dead.
4.The wish, like all symbolic processes, has a progressive
element, a reaching ahead, as well as a regressive pole, a
propulsion from behind.
5.Will is the capacity to organize one’s self so that movement
in a certain direction or toward a certain goal may take
place.
6.Our task in these chapters is to explore these problems...the
meaning of human volition and a new basis for solutions to
the problems of will and decision?
7.Every genuine wish is a creative act.
Chapter 9 | Quotes From Pages 206-227
1.Learning is not the accumulation of scraps of

Scan to Download
 knowledge. It is a growth, where every act of
knowledge develops the learner, thus making him
capable of constituting ever more and more
complex objectivities—and the object growth in
complexity parallels the subjective growth in
capacity.
2.By intentionality, I mean the structure which gives
meaning to experience. It is not to be identified with
intentions, but is the dimension which underlies them; it is
man’s capacity to have intentions.
3.The act and experience of consciousness itself is a
continuous molding and remolding of our world, self
related to objects and objects to self in inseparable ways,
self participating in the world as well as observing it,
neither pole of self or world being conceivable without the
other.
4.Meaning has no meaning apart from intention. Each act of
consciousness tends toward something, is a turning of the
person toward something, and has within it, no matter how

Scan to Download
 latent, some push toward a direction for action.
5.Potentiality points toward the future: it is something to be
realized. The future is the tense in which we promise
ourselves, we give a promissory note, we put ourselves on
the line.

Scan to Download
Chapter 10 | Quotes From Pages 228-253
1.Neither in the theoretical nor in the practical
sphere do we care for, or go to help to, those who
have no head for risks, or sense for living on the
perilous edge.
2.Neurosis can roughly be defined as a conflict between two
ways of not fulfilling one’s self.
3.Therapy, in clarifying the intentionality of the patient,
shifts the fight to the real battlefield.
4.What you told me in the session yesterday was exactly that
you didn’t want to screw her.
5.Freedom and will consist not in the abnegation of
determinism but in our relationship to it.
6.It has nothing to do with all these why’s and what’s. The
hell with that.
7.What do you wish from me today?
8.The process of therapy with individual patients involves
bringing together the three dimensions of wish, will, and
decision.

Scan to Download
Chapter 11 | Quotes From Pages 254-264
1.Sexual passion is the cause of war and the end of
peace, the basis of what is serious, and the aim of
the jest, the inexhaustible source of wit, the key to
all allusions, and the meaning of all mysterious
hints…just because the profoundest seriousness
lies at its foundation…. But all this agrees with the
fact that sexual passion is the kernal of the will to
live, and consequently the concentration of all
desire; therefore in the text I have called the
genital organs the focus of will.
2.Both love and will are conjunctive forms of experience.
That is, both describe a person reaching out, moving
toward the other, seeking to affect him or her or it—and
opening himself so that he may be affected by the other.
3.Will can block love... the strong 'will power' which the
father thought solved all his problems, actually served at
the same time to block his sensitivity, to cut off his
capacity to hear other persons, even, or perhaps especially,

Scan to Download
 his own son.
4.Love requires enduringness. Love grows in depth by virtue
of the lovers experiencing encounter with each other,
conflict and growth, all over a period of time. These cannot
be omitted from any lasting and viable experience of love.
5.Man’s task is to unite love and will. They are not united by
automatic biological growth but must be part of our
conscious development.
Chapter 12 | Quotes From Pages 265-284
1.Only the truly kind man knows how to love and
how to hate.
2.Care is a state in which something does matter; care is the
opposite of apathy.
3.Life comes from physical survival; but the good life comes
from what we care about.
4.When fully conceived, the care-structure includes the
phenomenon of Selfhood.
5.In love every man starts from the beginning.
6.Care is important because it is what is missing in our day.

Scan to Download
Chapter 13 | Quotes From Pages 285-302
1.When we look for answers to the questions we
have been discussing, we find, curiously enough,
that every answer seems to somehow impoverish
the problem.
2.The only way of resolving—in contrast to solving—the
questions is to transform them by means of deeper and
wider dimensions of consciousness.
3.If we—and now I mean the relatively conscious whites and
the relatively conscious blacks, who must, like lovers insist
on, or create, the consciousness of the others—do not falter
in our duty now, we may be able... to end the racial
nightmare.
4.Love and will are both forms of communion of
consciousness.
5.Sexual love can evolve from drive, through primary need,
to desire.
6.The polarity which is shown ontologically in the processes
of nature is also shown in the human being.

Scan to Download
7.In the embrace of love, we experience a Gestalt, a new field
of magnetic force, a new being.
8.We love and will the world as an immediate, spontaneous
totality.

Scan to Download
Love and Will Questions
View on Bookey Website

Chapter 1 | INTRODUCTION: OUR SCHIZOID

WORLD| Q&A
1.Question
What does Rollo May suggest is the relationship between
love and will in contemporary society?
Answer:Love and will have transitioned from being
seen as solutions to our life’s problems to becoming
significant problems themselves. The pursuit of
genuine emotional connections has become
complicated due to societal changes and anxieties,
leading individuals to become disconnected from
their true selves and their relationships.

2.Question
Why does Rollo May describe our current age as
'schizoid'?
Answer:He defines 'schizoid' as a state of being out of touch
with oneself and others, characterized by avoidance of close
relationships and an inability to feel deeply. This reflects a

Scan to Download
broader cultural tendency where individuals feel alienated,
disconnected, and struggle to express and connect with their
emotions.

3.Question
What does May mean by stating that love has become a
'problem to itself'?
Answer:Love, which was once regarded as a driving force in
human motivation and connection, is now questioned in its
value and authenticity. Individuals increasingly feel anxious
about committing to love out of fear of losing other possible
connections, leading to an epidemic of superficial
relationships.

4.Question
How does May link apathy to the concepts of love and
will?
Answer:Apathy represents a withdrawal from emotional
engagement and decision-making, which stifles one’s ability
to love or enact will. When individuals experience feelings of
powerlessness or despair, they begin to detach from their

Scan to Download
desires and relationships, leading to a cycle where both love
and willlessness prevail.

5.Question
According to May, what role do neurotics play in
society’s understanding of psychological issues?
Answer:Neurotics serve as valuable indicators of the
underlying conflicts present in society. Their struggles often
reflect broader cultural anxieties and can highlight emerging
issues that society as a whole may not yet consciously
recognize or address.

6.Question
What does Rollo May argue about the potential of a
'schizoid' condition to be constructive?
Answer:While the schizoid state often leads to detachment
and alienation, it can also foster creativity and resilience. By
becoming introspective, some individuals can draw from
their inner experiences to create meaningful art or insights,
discovering new forms of connection in an otherwise
isolating environment.

Scan to Download
7.Question
How does Rollo May view the artist in contrast to the
neurotic?
Answer:Artists are seen as positively channeling their
subconscious experiences and conflicts into meaningful
expressions that could enhance societal understanding,
whereas neurotics often live out these conflicts without the
ability to articulate or communicate them constructively.
Chapter 2 | PARADOXES OF SEX AND LOVE|
Q&A
1.Question
What are the four kinds of love according to Western
tradition as mentioned in the text?
Answer:The four kinds of love are: 1. Sex (lust,
libido) 2. Eros (the drive to procreate or create) 3.
Philia (friendship or brotherly love) 4. Agape
(devotion to the welfare of the other, often seen as
the love of God for man).

2.Question
How does contemporary society's view on sex differ from

Scan to Download
that of the Victorians?
Answer:Contemporary society has shifted from a denial of
sexual impulses prevalent in Victorian times to an obsession
with sex. In the past, discussing sex was considered taboo,
while now it seems to dominate public discourse.

3.Question
Rollo May suggests that despite increased sexual freedom,
what internal issues have become more pronounced in
individuals?
Answer:Internal anxiety and guilt have increased, especially
regarding personal adequacy in sexual performance and the
meaning behind sexual encounters.

4.Question
What is the relationship between sexual technique and
sexual passion as described in the text?
Answer:There is an inverse relationship; the more emphasis
placed on technique, the less sexual passion and pleasure is
experienced, leading to a mechanistic approach to
lovemaking.

Scan to Download
5.Question
What paradox does May identify in the context of modern
sexual freedom?
Answer:The paradox is that modern sexual freedom is a new
form of puritanism, encouraging sexual expression while
simultaneously alienating individuals from genuine
emotional connection.

6.Question
According to Rollo May, how does the mechanization of
sex affect emotional engagement?
Answer:As sex becomes more mechanized, individuals tend
to view it as a performance rather than an intimate act,
leading to a decrease in genuine emotional engagement and
connection.

7.Question
May refers to a problem he perceives in contemporary
relationships; what is it?
Answer:He notes that in relationships, people often struggle
with feelings of isolation, and even when engaging in sexual
encounters, they report a lack of emotional fulfillment or

Scan to Download
pleasure.

8.Question
What does Rollo May suggest is lost when sexual
encounters become purely physical?
Answer:He suggests that when sexual encounters are reduced
to physicality, the emotional richness and intimacy that are
essential for memorable experiences are lost.

9.Question
In what way does May connect the themes of freedom and
self-censorship in the context of sexual expression?
Answer:He argues that the so-called freedom in sexual
expression can lead to new forms of repression, where
individuals feel pressured to engage in sex without emotional
involvement, limiting their true feelings and desires.

10.Question
What is the 'new puritanism' that May describes, and
how does it affect perceptions of sexuality?
Answer:The new puritanism, according to May, involves an
alienation from the body, a separation of emotion from
reason, and treating the body as a machine, which creates a

Scan to Download
disconnect in how sexual experiences are perceived and felt.

11.Question
According to May, what is one of the central motives
behind people's compulsive pursuit of sex in modern
society?
Answer:A central motive is the struggle to prove one's
identity, where individuals often seek validation through
sexual encounters, while neglecting the unique sensibilities
that should enhance their self-identity.

12.Question
How does Rollo May perceive the role of psychoanalysis
in relation to sexual liberation and puritanism?
Answer:May views psychoanalysis as both reflecting and
expressing the new puritanism; it promotes rigorous honesty
about sexual desires but can also reduce sexuality to
mechanical gratification devoid of deeper emotional
connection.

13.Question
What implications does May suggest might arise from
changes in reproductive technology and societal

Scan to Download
structures?
Answer:He raises concerns about the potential for asexuality
in society, impacts on traditional relationships, and whether
children raised under new reproductive technologies would
develop human qualities necessary for emotional connection
and love.

14.Question
What literary reference does May use to illustrate
contemporary disillusionment with sexual encounters?
Answer:He references T.S. Eliot's 'The Waste Land' to depict
a woman's detached and automatic response after a sexual
encounter, symbolizing a lack of emotional engagement.

15.Question
How does the author connect the quality of sexual
experiences to the broader context of personality and
identity?
Answer:He posits that successful sexual encounters should
enhance feelings of self-affirmation and intimacy, but when
sex is approached purely as a technique, it undermines both

Scan to Download
personal identity and connection.
Chapter 3 | EROS IN CONFLICT WITH SEX|
Q&A
1.Question
What is the central thesis of the chapter regarding the
relationship between sex and eros?
Answer:The central thesis of the chapter is that
modern society has separated sex from eros,
reducing both to a banal, mechanical experience.
This separation leads to a superficial understanding
of both concepts, where sex is seen merely as a
physical act devoid of emotional depth and
eros—the passionate, creative force that binds us to
others and gives meaning to our experiences—has
become repressed.

2.Question
How does Rollo May explain the consequences of treating
love and sex as mechanical and simplified?
Answer:Rollo May argues that by treating love and sex
mechanically, society anesthetizes genuine feelings, leading

Scan to Download
to a dehumanization of these concepts. This simplification
robs sex of its powerful emotional and spiritual dimensions,
resulting in relationships that are void of deeper connection
and meaning, often manifesting as feelings of alienation and
despair.

3.Question
What role does anxiety play in the modern understanding
of eros and sex according to May?
Answer:Anxiety plays a crucial role as individuals use sex as
a way to escape the deeper anxieties associated with eros.
This flight from eros compels people to engage in sexual
activities merely for immediate gratification while avoiding
the challenges and complexities of genuine emotional
involvement.

4.Question
How does May illustrate the disconnect between sexual
knowledge and genuine emotional connection through the
example of his patient?
Answer:May shares the story of a female patient who,
despite being well-educated and knowledgeable about sex

Scan to Download
and contraception, experiences feelings of emptiness and
engages in multiple illegitimate pregnancies. Her behavior
highlights that the lack of true emotional connection and the
failure to address her deeper self-image and needs results in a
cycle of confusion and guilt, rather than fulfillment.

5.Question
What does Rollo May suggest society risks losing by
confining eros to mere sexual expression?
Answer:May suggests that society risks losing the
transformative and creative potential of eros, which is
essential for personal growth and the deepening of
meaningful relationships. By reducing eros to mere sexual
expression, individuals lose the opportunity for genuine
connectedness and the enrichment that comes from seeking
shared passions and deeper understandings.

6.Question
In what ways does Rollo May connect eros to creativity
and personal fulfillment?
Answer:Rollo May connects eros to creativity by suggesting

Scan to Download
that eros is not just a sexual drive but a life-giving force that
inspires individuals to seek connection, knowledge, and
beauty. Eros drives us to create, to love deeply, and to
engage meaningfully with others, enriching our experiences
and promoting personal fulfillment.

7.Question
What implications does May draw from the societal
trends in sexual behavior and maternal issues?
Answer:May notes a paradox where increasing access to
contraception and sexual education coincides with rising
rates of premarital pregnancies. This suggests that rather than
resolving the deeper emotional and existential issues tied to
eros, society’s superficial solutions may, in fact, exacerbate
feelings of alienation and serve as a band-aid rather than a
true remedy.

8.Question
How does Rollo May’s interpretation of eros differ from
popular definitions today?
Answer:May's interpretation of eros transcends the modern,

Scan to Download
often superficial understanding of it as mere eroticism or
sexual titillation. He emphasizes eros as a profound drive for
connection, creativity, and the search for meaning in
relationships, something that enriches life rather than simply
serves physical gratification.

9.Question
What does May's analysis suggest about the future of
relationships in a technologically driven society?
Answer:May's analysis suggests that the future of
relationships in a technologically driven society may lean
towards superficiality and disconnection unless individuals
can reclaim and nurture the eros that facilitates deeper
emotional bonds and genuine passions. The challenge lies in
balancing the efficiency of technology with the irreplaceable
human need for profound emotional connection.

10.Question
What does Rollo May propose as a way to address the
separation between sex and eros?
Answer:To address the separation between sex and eros,

Scan to Download
Rollo May proposes recognizing and embracing the
complexities of emotional and spiritual connections in
relationships. He emphasizes the importance of passion,
creativity, and the need to confront our deeper anxieties,
allowing for deeper relational engagements that reflect the
fullness of human experience.

Scan to Download
Chapter 4 | LOVE AND DEATH| Q&A
1.Question
How does the awareness of death enhance our ability to
love?
Answer:The awareness of death makes life and the
act of loving seem more precious, sacred, and
beautiful. This confrontation with mortality
intensifies our openness to love, as it promotes a
passionate engagement with life that might not exist
if we believed we would live forever. According to
Abraham Maslow, it raises profound existential
questions about the nature of love, suggesting that
without the shadow of death, significant experiences
of love and ecstasy might be impossible.

2.Question
What paradox accompanies human love as it relates to
death?
Answer:Human love is intertwined with the consciousness of
death. While love can evoke feelings of intense joy and

Scan to Download
fulfillment, it simultaneously introduces the potential for
grief, loss, and the anxiety of losing the beloved. This duality
creates a fabric of emotional complexity where love enhances
our sense of vulnerability, as the loss of a loved one reminds
us of our own mortality.

3.Question
What does Rollo May mean by saying Eros both creates
and destroys?
Answer:Eros, as a representation of love and passion, is
responsible for both the creation of life and the potential for
heartbreak and destruction. The paradox lies in that love can
uplift and bring individuals together, fostering intimacy and
vitality, but it can also lead to devastating loss and pain. This
interplay exemplifies the essential conflicts inherent in
human relationships.

4.Question
How does becoming a parent shift one's perspective on
mortality?
Answer:Becoming a parent heightens one's awareness of

Scan to Download
vulnerability and mortality, as parents become aware of the
potential loss of their children, creating a profound emotional
connection that is both joyous and terrifying. This love for
one’s child amplifies the sensitivity to death, making life feel
more precious because of the inherent risks attached to it.

5.Question
In what ways do contemporary societal views on sexuality
reflect a repression of the awareness of death?
Answer:Contemporary society often uses an obsession with
sex as a distraction from the unavoidable reality of death.
Sexual activity is superficially celebrated, which may mask
deeper anxieties about mortality. This preoccupation often
results in a trivialization of the significance of sex and a
failure to confront the existential implications of love and
intimacy.

6.Question
Why is the tragic nature of love important according to
Rollo May?
Answer:The tragic aspect of love—the simultaneous

Scan to Download
presence of joy and suffering—adds depth, dignity, and
richness to human experience. Recognizing that love can lead
to both ecstasy and destruction is essential in avoiding
oversimplified and superficial understandings of intimacy.
Tragedy serves as a reminder that love is not merely about
fulfillment, but also about the risks that accompany profound
emotional engagement.

7.Question
How does the experience of love reflect the inherent
separation between individuals?
Answer:Love embodies the concept of separation and
reunion, where individuals continuously navigate the tension
between intimacy and distance. This dynamic is rooted in the
fundamental differences between genders and their roles,
highlighting the complexity of human relationships that
oscillate between connection and individuality.

8.Question
What role do ontological questions play in understanding
relationships?

Scan to Download
Answer:Ontology, the study of being, invites us to grapple
with profound questions about existence and relationships,
such as why we experience love and sex in specific ways.
These inquiries force us to confront the essential dynamics of
male and female tensions and how they contribute to the
human experience, ultimately enriching our understanding of
love and its complexities.

9.Question
How does Rollo May contrast the understanding of
tragedy in classical literature with modern
interpretations?
Answer:Rollo May argues that classical portrayals of tragedy
convey deep meanings about love and humanity, whereas
modern interpretations often reduce tragedy to mere
moments of despair or emptiness. He suggests that
contemporary works capture a profound sense of confusion
about meaning, which itself reflects a genuinely tragic
experience of modern existence.

10.Question
What is the significance of the interplay between

Scan to Download
sexuality, love, and societal narratives?
Answer:The interplay between sexuality and love is deeply
influenced by societal narratives that shape our
understanding of relationships. These narratives can often
trivialize the significance of love and compel individuals to
engage in superficial relationships, ultimately diluting the
deeper emotional and existential connections that make love
meaningful.
Chapter 5 | LOVE AND THE DAIMONIC| Q&A
1.Question
What does Rilke mean when he says, "If my devils are to
leave me, I am afraid my angels will take flight as well"?
Answer:Rilke suggests that the complexity of our
inner lives requires the coexistence of both our
darker impulses (the devils) and our higher
aspirations (the angels). He implies that if we
attempt to rid ourselves of our so-called negative
traits or emotions, we may also lose the positive
aspects that give our lives depth and richness.

Scan to Download
2.Question
How does Plato define Eros in relation to the daimonic?
Answer:In Plato's view, Eros is considered a daimon,
symbolizing the powerful and profound aspects of love. This
association indicates that love encompasses both creative and
destructive energies, reflected in the dual nature of the
daimonic.

3.Question
What is the significance of the daimonic in human
experience according to Rollo May?
Answer:The daimonic represents the natural, primal urges
that can dominate a person's entire being, influencing
creativity, aggression, sexuality, and vitality. It embodies the
inherent struggles and tensions between these urges, which
can lead to both personal growth and psychological turmoil.

4.Question
What are the consequences of repressing the daimonic?
Answer:Repressing the daimonic results in apathy and can
lead to explosive emotional outbursts when these repressed
impulses finally surface. This can manifest as psychosis or as

Scan to Download
destructive behaviors that stem from unacknowledged inner
conflicts.

5.Question
What role does the daimonic play in creativity and
artistic expression?
Answer:The daimonic is integral to creativity, as it drives
artists and poets to explore and express their deepest
emotions and experiences. In art, the confrontation with the
daimonic leads to a deeper understanding of human existence
and can transform chaos into meaningful expression.

6.Question
How does one embrace the daimonic according to May's
account of primitive psychotherapy?
Answer:In primitive psychotherapy, patients confront the
daimonic by participating in community ceremonies that
allow them to physically and symbolically engage with their
fears or issues. They embody aspects of their struggles—like
a person battling with impotence dressing as their
mother—allowing for integration and healing.

Scan to Download
7.Question
Why is it important to acknowledge both the positive and
negative aspects of the daimonic in our lives?
Answer:Acknowledging both positive and negative aspects
of the daimonic is crucial for a balanced understanding of
ourselves. It allows for the integration of our full range of
human experiences, facilitating growth, authenticity in
relationships, and creativity, as well as preventing destructive
behaviors that can arise from repression.

8.Question
What can the example of George and Martha in 'Who's
Afraid of Virginia Woolf?' teach us about the daimonic?
Answer:The struggles between George and Martha illustrate
the raw, often painful confrontations with the daimonic
within relationships. Their emotional combat reveals the
hidden tensions and desires that are often suppressed in
societal norms, ultimately underscoring the necessity for both
love and aggression in authentic connections.

9.Question
How does the daimonic relate to societal violence and

Scan to Download
individual aggression?
Answer:The daimonic, when repressed in society, can
manifest as collective violence and individual aggressions, as
suppressed energies seek expression. Acknowledging and
transforming these forces into constructive actions are
essential to prevent destructive outcomes.

10.Question
What does May suggest is the healthful approach to the
daimonic?
Answer:May advocates for an accepting and integrative
approach to the daimonic, emphasizing the importance of
facing our inner demons openly. This allows for a deeper
understanding of ourselves and the fostering of genuine
relationships, creativity, and personal empowerment.
Chapter 6 | THE DAIMONIC IN DIALOGUE|
Q&A
1.Question
What is the significance of dialogue in understanding the
daimonic?
Answer:Dialogue is crucial because it allows for

Scan to Download
meaningful communication and understanding
between individuals, affirming that we exist in
relationship. It serves to integrate and make sense of
the daimonic within the structure of our lives,
preventing chaos and promoting personal growth.

2.Question
How does Socrates exemplify the impact of the daimonic
on society?
Answer:Socrates illustrates that the expression of the
daimonic can disrupt societal norms, as seen in his challenge
to traditional Athenian values. While he pursued truth and
integrity through dialogue, many perceived his actions as
arrogant and destructive, leading to his eventual downfall.

3.Question
What does the concept of humility signify in dealing with
the daimonic?
Answer:Humility is essential because it acknowledges our
limitations and the inherent distortions in our perceptions.
Recognizing that our beliefs may carry self-aggrandizing

Scan to Download
tendencies allows for greater self-awareness and a more
thoughtful approach to our actions.

4.Question
What role does naming play in confronting the daimonic?
Answer:Naming gives individuals power over their
problems, transforming chaos into something manageable.
By identifying and articulating our issues, we gain clarity and
the opportunity for integration, similar to how ancient
practices involved naming demons to expel them.

5.Question
How do impersonal and personal experiences of the
daimonic differ?
Answer:Impulsive and blind urges represent an impersonal
daimonic experience, leading to loss of individuality and
potential violence, while personal experiences involve
integrating these urges consciously, allowing for uniqueness
and authenticity in expressing our true selves.

6.Question
Why is knowledge characterized as both a source of
power and danger?

Scan to Download
Answer:Knowledge offers freedom and understanding, yet it
also brings apprehension and fear because it challenges our
existing beliefs. This dual nature reflects the daimonic aspect
where gaining insight can lead to disillusionment or conflict
with our self-image.

7.Question
What is the significance of the Oedipus myth in
understanding human consciousness?
Answer:Oedipus represents the struggle to confront painful
truths about oneself. His journey underscores the idea that
knowledge and awareness, although fraught with difficulty,
are necessary for personal integrity and growth,
demonstrating the inherent risks in seeking self-awareness.

8.Question
What does Jacob's struggle with the daimonic teach us
about personal transformation?
Answer:Jacob's wrestling with the daimonic reflects the
tumultuous process of facing inner conflicts and emerging
transformed. His limping away symbolizes that true growth

Scan to Download
often comes at a cost, leading to a deeper understanding of
oneself and one’s place in the world.

9.Question
How does the daimonic influence societal dynamics
during times of conflict?
Answer:During conflicts, the daimonic can project inner
fears onto enemies, leading to dehumanization and
justifications for violence. This shows how unresolved
internal struggles can manifest as external chaos, reinforcing
the need for dialogue and understanding.

10.Question
What is the relationship between creativity and the
daimonic?
Answer:Creativity often arises from grappling with the
daimonic challenges, leading to personal and artistic
breakthroughs. The struggle with one’s inner demons can
inspire profound creative expressions while simultaneously
exposing individuals to potential psychological risks.

Scan to Download
Chapter 7 | THE WILL IN CRISIS| Q&A
1.Question
What is the central dilemma of modern man according to
Rollo May in Chapter 7 of 'Love and Will'?
Answer:The central dilemma is the contradiction
between feeling powerful and being paralyzed in
will. Modern man is bombarded with the notion of
his capabilities while simultaneously feeling
impotent to make meaningful decisions, leading to a
paralysis of will.

2.Question
How is the concept of 'will power' critiqued in the context
of Victorian and modern perspectives?
Answer:Victorian 'will power' is critiqued for being a rigid
and unrealistic view that individuals can control their lives
solely through rational effort. In contrast, modern
psychology, influenced by Freud, suggests that much of
human behavior is driven by unconscious forces, thereby
undermining the previous notion of will as a controlling

Scan to Download
force.

3.Question
What does Nietzsche mean by the phrase 'God is dead' in
relation to human will?
Answer:Nietzsche's proclamation reflects the crisis of
meaning in a post-Victorian world where the moral and
existential frameworks provided by religion have collapsed,
leaving humanity to grapple with the anxiety and freedom of
creating its own values, which can further paralyze will.

4.Question
In the case of John described by May, what significant
experience illustrates John's struggle with will?
Answer:John's struggle with will is demonstrated through his
catatonia and obsessive-compulsive behaviors, which stem
from overwhelming anxiety. His belief that his actions hold
cosmic consequences leads to a paralyzing sense of
responsibility, showcasing the internal conflict and paralysis
of will.

5.Question
How does Rollo May connect the crisis of will to societal

Scan to Download
trends and modern existential challenges?
Answer:May connects the crisis of will to societal trends
such as increased leisure time and technological
advancements, which create choices without providing a
framework for meaningful decision-making. This confusion
leads many to feel apathetic, as they lack clear guidance on
how to make responsible, fulfilling choices.

6.Question
What role does psychoanalysis play in the understanding
of will, according to May?
Answer:Psychoanalysis plays a paradoxical role; while it
seeks to empower individuals by uncovering unconscious
motives, it can also reinforce passivity by making patients
dependent on the therapeutic process, thus undermining their
sense of agency and will.

7.Question
What might be the implications of the 'autonomy of the
ego' concept in psychoanalysis?
Answer:The concept of 'autonomy of the ego' suggests that

Scan to Download
the ego can control decisions independently, but May argues
this is flawed, as it separates parts of the self without
considering the integrated nature of consciousness that
enables genuine freedom and responsibility.

8.Question
Why does May emphasize the importance of reconciling
consciousness with the crisis of will?
Answer:May emphasizes the need to reconcile consciousness
with will because true agency arises from being aware of
one’s choices and motivations. This awareness helps
navigate the complexities of modern life, allowing
individuals to take active roles in forming their destinies.

9.Question
What does May suggest about the personal responsibility
in the context of today's choices and freedoms?
Answer:May suggests that while newfound freedoms—such
as those related to sexuality and technological
advances—offer opportunities, they simultaneously impose a
significant burden of responsibility on individuals, who must

Scan to Download
now navigate a complex array of choices that can lead to
confusion without clear guidance.

10.Question
Can you summarize the relationship between power,
freedom, and the human condition as described by Rollo
May?
Answer:The relationship is characterized by a paradox:
although modern advancements seemingly endow
individuals with power and unprecedented freedom, they also
create feelings of helplessness and disorientation due to the
overwhelming choices and the fragmented sense of self,
resulting in a crisis of will.
Chapter 8 | WISH AND WILL| Q&A
1.Question
What is the primary distinction that Rollo May makes
between 'wish' and 'will'?
Answer:'Wish' refers to the imaginative aspect and
desire for potential acts or states, while 'will' is
described as the capacity to organize oneself to make
these acts or states happen. In essence, 'wish' is

Scan to Download
about desire and meaning, whereas 'will' is about
implementation and direction.

2.Question
How does Rollo May critique the concept of 'will power'
as understood in Victorian society?
Answer:He suggests that 'will power' was seen as an arrogant
tool for control and manipulation, leading to repression of
normal desires and emotions. This culminated in emotional
voids and debilitating symptoms, as people suppressed their
innate urges under the guise of self-discipline.

3.Question
In what way does Rollo May connect the concepts of wish
and illness?
Answer:He posits that a lack of capacity to wish leads to
illness, emptiness, and despair. He argues that when
individuals cease to wish meaningfully, they effectively 'die'
emotionally, reducing their experiences to a state of apathy
and sterility.

4.Question
What role does 'meaning' play in the concept of 'wish'

Scan to Download
according to Rollo May?
Answer:Meaning is integral to 'wish', as it transforms mere
biological impulses into something that reflects hope and
creativity. This aspect allows individuals to channel their
wishes into a vision for the future that is laden with
significance.

5.Question
How does Rollo May relate the psychological concept of
'wish' to interpersonal relationships?
Answer:He emphasizes that genuine wishing in relationships
must involve mutuality rather than selfish desires. Healthy
wishing acknowledges the needs and readiness of others,
contrasting with the 'willful' approach that ignores the other’s
perspective.

6.Question
What does William James' experience with depression
reveal about the nature of will, according to Rollo May?
Answer:James' struggles illustrate that will is not merely an
exertion of power but a profound engagement with one's

Scan to Download
circumstances. His exploration of will emphasized the
importance of attention and belief, suggesting that our will is
closely tied to our capacity for focused awareness.

7.Question
How does May suggest we overcome the deficiencies in
both 'wish' and 'will'?
Answer:He argues that therapy and personal growth should
aim to enrich the capacity to wish meaningfully, fostering
deeper connections and mutual engagement, while also
refining the ability to will, directing energies toward
meaningful goals rather than merely repressing desires.

8.Question
What societal implications does May attribute to the
collapse of the traditional understanding of will and
wish?
Answer:He connects the erosion of authentic wishing and
will with a broader cultural sense of existential emptiness.
This collapse results in individuals feeling disconnected from
their desires and purpose, mirroring the emotional wasteland
described in T.S. Eliot's works.

Scan to Download
9.Question
What insights does May offer regarding the nature of
decision-making in therapy?
Answer:He suggests that genuine decision-making in therapy
arises from clarifying the patient's own powers of will and
decision rather than imposing directions. True freedom and
agency emerge when clients recognize their capabilities in
the context of their wishes.
Chapter 9 | INTENTIONALITY| Q&A
1.Question
What is the essence of intentionality according to Rollo
May?
Answer:Intentionality is defined as the structure
which gives meaning to experience. It represents the
way in which our intentions shape how we perceive
the world around us, acting as a bridge that
connects subjective experience with objective reality.

2.Question
How does the concept of intentionality relate to the act of
wishing?

Scan to Download
Answer:Intentionality influences our wishes by allowing us
to imagine and reach towards possibilities. It shows that
wishes are not merely spontaneous desires but are rooted in
deeper meanings, shaping our understanding and engagement
with the world.

3.Question
How does one's perception affect their interpretation of a
singular object?
Answer:Perception is heavily influenced by our intentions
and context. The same object can be seen very differently
depending on our objectives—whether we are seeking
shelter, profit, hospitality, or artistic inspiration, each
intention shapes a unique meaning from the same stimulus.

4.Question
What role does intentionality play in the understanding of
memory?
Answer:Intentionality is fundamental to memory in that a
person can only recall memories when they are ready to take
a stance toward them. The inability to remember an event is

Scan to Download
often linked to an unconscious unwillingness to confront the
associated feelings or realities.

5.Question
What does Rollo May suggest about the relationship
between will and intentionality?
Answer:Will and intentionality are intertwined; you cannot
have true will without intention. A person's ability to act is
reflected in their intentionality, suggesting that identity and
potentiality are shaped through the interplay of what one can
and intends to do.

6.Question
In therapy, how can one become aware of their
intentionality?
Answer:Therapeutic interventions can help individuals to
become more aware of their bodily feelings and states, as
being in touch with one's desires is crucial for reconnecting
with intentionality and overcoming blocks to personal insight
and growth.

7.Question
How does Rollo May's exploration of intentionality

Scan to Download
challenge traditional psychological approaches?
Answer:May argues that traditional psychology often
overlooks the deeper dimensions of intentionality by treating
conscious intention as separate from unconscious processes.
Understanding intentionality enriches our comprehension of
human behavior beyond simple cognitive or behavioral
frameworks.

8.Question
What can the etymology of 'intention' tell us about its
true meaning?
Answer:The Latin root of 'intention', 'intendere', suggests a
'stretching' towards something, emphasizing that intention is
fundamentally about relating to and aiming at something
significant, rather than merely being a mental plan or goal.

9.Question
In what ways do anxiety and intentionality relate
according to May?
Answer:Anxiety can both hinder and motivate intentionality.
When a person is overwhelmed by anxiety, it can block their

Scan to Download
capacity to perceive and act; conversely, normal anxiety can
enhance one's intentionality by prompting engagement with
potentialities.

10.Question
How does intentionality influence our understanding of
art and creativity?
Answer:Rollo May posits that both art and creativity emerge
from a deep engagement with intentionality, where the artist
incorporates their intentions into the creation process,
allowing for the shaping and reshaping of their artistic
expression.

Scan to Download
Chapter 10 | INTENTIONALITY IN THERAPY|
Q&A
1.Question
What is the significance of intentionality in therapy
according to Rollo May?
Answer:Intentionality in therapy is crucial as it
helps patients confront and understand their true
desires and conflicts. It shifts the focus from mere
avoidance to genuine engagement with one's wishes
and will, allowing for authentic fulfillment rather
than non-fulfillment.

2.Question
How does Rollo May define the conflict of will?
Answer:Rollo May describes the conflict of will as a struggle
within oneself where desires may be opposed, resulting in
neurosis, which he defines as a struggle between two ways of
not fulfilling oneself.

3.Question
In the case of Preston, what was the main issue that he
faced?

Scan to Download
Answer:Preston struggled with severe writer's block, feeling
paralyzed by his inability to write, which was a reflection of
deeper conflicts related to his sense of identity, anger
towards himself and others, and unresolved feelings about his
father.

4.Question
What role does anger play in Preston's therapy sessions?
Answer:Anger serves as a critical redirecting affect for
Preston, revealing his deeper frustrations and serving as a
catalyst for recognizing his own intentionality. It illustrates
his struggle against accepting responsibility in facing his
block and encourages the confrontation of his true feelings.

5.Question
How did the therapist approach Preston's lack of will?
Answer:The therapist confronted Preston's belief that writing
"will write itself" and challenged him to recognize his role in
the process. He highlighted that admitting he cannot write
was a refusal to engage with his will and intentionality.

6.Question
What does Rollo May suggest about the relationship

Scan to Download
between wish, will, and decision in therapy?
Answer:May indicates that therapy should integrate these
three dimensions: wish leads to an awareness of desires, will
allows conscious engagement with those desires, and
decision forms the commitment to act on them, ultimately
guiding personal growth.

7.Question
How does May differentiate between 'acting out' and
genuine intentionality in therapy?
Answer:'Acting out' is described as impulsive behavior to
avoid acknowledging deeper issues, whereas genuine
intentionality involves recognizing and confronting one's
desires within the structure of consciousness, leading to
insight and personal responsibility.

8.Question
What is the importance of the body in the process of
wishing according to May?
Answer:The body is essential in expressing wishes
non-verbally, as emotional truths often manifest in physical

Scan to Download
gestures or postures, revealing deeper feelings that may be
unacknowledged at the cognitive level.

9.Question
What does Rollo May imply about freedom in relation to
will and intentionality?
Answer:May argues that true freedom does not come from
the absence of determinism, but from the ability to recognize
and choose one's relationship to existing limitations and
conditions, thus emphasizing human agency within the
framework of conscious decision-making.

10.Question
How does Rollo May view the therapist's role in guiding a
patient like Preston?
Answer:The therapist's role is to help the patient confront his
internal conflicts and recognize his intentionality. By
engaging directly with the patient's emotions and directing
focus back to their true desires, the therapist facilitates deeper
self-awareness and personal growth.
Chapter 11 | THE RELATION OF LOVE AND
WILL| Q&A

Scan to Download
1.Question
How are love and will interconnected according to Rollo
May?
Answer:Rollo May argues that love and will are not
opposites but rather interdependent aspects of
human experience. Both involve a reaching out to
others and an openness to be affected by them,
highlighting their interpersonal nature. Love
requires self-affirmation and self-assertion, crucial
components of will, and vice versa. When one is
emphasized at the expense of the other, both love
and will lose their effectiveness.

2.Question
What impact does excessive will have on love?
Answer:Excessive will can block love, leading individuals to
become overly controlling or insistent on their own desires to
the detriment of emotional connections. For example, a
father who focuses solely on maximizing his son's
performance may neglect the emotional needs of his son,

Scan to Download
ultimately harming their relationship and the son’s ability to
thrive.

3.Question
What is a danger of separating love from will?
Answer:Separating love from will can result in a passive type
of love lacking endurance and depth. This usually leads to
relationships that are more superficial, characterized by a
lack of commitment or responsibility. May highlights that
unconditional love, as seen in some movements like that of
the hippies, tends to be indiscriminate and lacks the essential
component of choice that gives love its weight and
permanence.

4.Question
How does Schopenhauer's view relate to May's
perspective on love and will?
Answer:Schopenhauer's assertion that sexual passion is the
'kernel of the will to live' aligns with May’s view that both
love and will are fundamental to human existence. They
reflect the deep interrelationship between our desires and our

Scan to Download
ability to act upon them. This relationship underscores the
significance of the erotic dimension in cultivating
meaningful connections with others.

5.Question
What example does Rollo May give to illustrate
impotence as a conflict between will and love?
Answer:May discusses a patient named Preston who
experiences impotence, illustrating that his body resists
performing sexually because he lacks real emotional
engagement. His fantasies reveal underlying conflicts; he
feels pressured to engage physically without connecting
emotionally. This highlights the struggle of trying to will
love when one's heart and mind are not fully involved.

6.Question
What role does time play in the relationship between eros
and sexual experience according to May?
Answer:Time is critical for eros as it allows individuals to
fully engage with and reflect on their emotions and
connections. Rushing into sexual encounters can inhibit the

Scan to Download
growth of deeper feelings, as genuine love requires the
opportunity for imagination and meaningful reflection, which
is often lost in 'short order sex' cultures.

7.Question
What does May suggest is necessary for achieving a true
union of love and will?
Answer:May believes that achieving a true union of love and
will necessitates conscious effort and development rather
than automatic biological processes. This requires personal
responsibility, courage to make choices, and a willingness to
confront the complexities of human relationships instead of
reverting to nostalgic yearnings for a blissful past.

8.Question
How does the concept of 'no' play a role in the formation
of will?
Answer:The capacity to say 'no' is foundational to the
development of will, as it represents an assertion of one's self
against the environment and an acknowledgment of personal
autonomy. This 'no' allows an individual to confront

Scan to Download
challenges and reshape their relationships with the world,
paving the way for independent love and growth.
Chapter 12 | THE MEANING OF CARE| Q&A
1.Question
What is the essence of care as described in Chapter 12?
Answer:Care is a state where something matters; it
signifies recognition of another's humanity and
stems from our common experiences of pain and
joy. It stands as an antidote to apathy, fostering
deeper connections and a sense of duty towards
others.

2.Question
How does the author illustrate the concept of care?
Answer:The author illustrates care through poignant war
photographs where soldiers exhibit tenderness by caring for
each other amidst chaos, showcasing the fundamental human
capacity for compassion despite the horrors of war.

3.Question
How is care linked to Eros according to the chapter?

Scan to Download
Answer:Care is integral to Eros; while Eros involves passion,
it cannot thrive without care, which includes a conscious
emotional investment in the wellbeing of others and enriches
our human interactions.

4.Question
What does Heidegger say about care and will?
Answer:Heidegger posits that care is foundational for will;
true willing emerges from a state of care, signifying that our
intentions are rooted in our emotional connections and
recognition of the world around us.

5.Question
What danger does the chapter identify with modern
apathy?
Answer:Modern apathy is characterized by a feeling of
meaninglessness where individuals believe nothing matters,
leading to disengagement and a need for external
stimulation—care serves as a necessary antidote to this void.

6.Question
Why is feeling emphasized as crucial in establishing
relationships?

Scan to Download
Answer:Feeling is underscored as it forms the basis for
human relationships; it connects individuals emotionally,
enabling genuine engagement and the wellbeing of both
parties involved.

7.Question
What does the mythos of care signify in the text?
Answer:The mythos of care conveys that human love, grief,
and compassion transcend even death, emphasizing the
enduring significance of emotional connections amid life's
existential challenges.

8.Question
How does the chapter relate contemporary societal
struggles to care?
Answer:The chapter relates contemporary struggles,
particularly among youth, to a desire for authenticity and
genuine relationships, pointing to a collective fight against
mechanization and disconnection in a rapidly changing
world.

9.Question
What does the author conclude about the relationship

Scan to Download
between care and personal well-being?
Answer:The author concludes that an individual's capacity
for care is essential for authentic existence; without care,
one's being disintegrates, highlighting the necessity of
emotional commitment for a fulfilling life.

10.Question
How does the chapter view the intersection of death and
love?
Answer:The chapter views the intersection of death and love
as a profound source of human experience, asserting that
acknowledging our mortality fosters deeper connections and
enhances the value of our relationships.

Scan to Download
Chapter 13 | COMMUNION OF
CONSCIOUSNESS| Q&A
1.Question
What is the significance of understanding that some
questions may not have definite answers, according to
Rollo May?
Answer:Rollo May suggests that seeking definitive
answers to profound human questions can
oversimplify the complexity of those questions.
Instead of resolving the issues, these answers may
diminish the richness of the problems we face. The
emphasis should be on embracing these complexities
and exploring them through deeper levels of
consciousness.

2.Question
How do love and will relate to consciousness in Rollo
May's perspective?
Answer:Love and will are seen as forms of 'communion of
consciousness' in May's perspective. They are interdependent
and contribute to the creation of consciousness in others.

Scan to Download
Love fosters connection, while will directs intentions and
actions. Together, they deepen our understanding of
ourselves and our relationships.

3.Question
What is the difference between drive, need, and desire in
the context of sexual love?
Answer:In Rollo May's view, drive is a biological impulse
that demands satisfaction, often impelled by physiological
urges. Need is a less insistent form of drive, rooted in the
necessity for connection and fulfillment. Desire, however, is
a conscious wish for intimacy that pulls us towards new
possibilities and is intrinsically tied to human experience and
values.

4.Question
How does Rollo May describe the role of intimacy in
love?
Answer:Intimacy is portrayed as vital in the experience of
love. It allows individuals to share their vulnerabilities and
emotions, creating a personal connection. By looking into

Scan to Download
each other's eyes during the love act, partners can experience
a merging of selves, portraying love as a profound,
meaningful encounter rather than a mere physical act.

5.Question
What does May signify through the concept of 'active
receiving' in relationships?
Answer:Active receiving is the idea that to truly engage in a
loving relationship, one must not only receive affection but
also consciously absorb it, appreciating and integrating it into
one's sense of self. This dynamic contrasts with passive
receiving, which leaves one empty and unfulfilled.

6.Question
How does Rollo May link creativity to the forms of society
and the role of artists?
Answer:May argues that creativity thrives within the
structures of society—its myths and symbols, which act as
channels for human vitality. Artists play a crucial role in this
dynamic by expanding our consciousness and helping us
perceive new dimensions of experience, thus pushing society

Scan to Download
towards more profound understanding and connection.

7.Question
What is the implication of the phrase 'we mold ourselves
and our world simultaneously' in the context of love and
will?
Answer:This phrase signifies that every genuine act of love
or will impacts both the individual and the surrounding
world. Our choices and actions not only shape our identities
but also the reality we participate in, highlighting the
nurturing and transformative power inherent in our
relationships.

8.Question
Why does May emphasize the importance of friendship
(philia) before romantic love?
Answer:May emphasizes that philia, or friendship, is crucial
for emotional development and the capacity to form romantic
love. The bond formed during childhood friendships lays the
groundwork for future intimate relationships, teaching
individuals how to care and connect deeply with others.

9.Question

Scan to Download
How does May address the tension between our
awareness of individuality and our inherent need for
connection?
Answer:May articulates that while we begin life as part of a
'we', we eventually become aware of our individuality. This
awareness can lead to feelings of loneliness, yet it also
empowers us to seek meaningful connections and
relationships that bridge our separateness.

10.Question
What does Rollo May suggest is the 'new consciousness'
that society needs to develop?
Answer:May argues that society must strive for a new
consciousness that embraces the complexities of human
experience and relationships, moving away from simplistic
understandings and towards a deeper integration of our
emotions, values, and creative expressions. This shift is
essential for cultivating a more humane society amidst the
challenges posed by modernity.

Scan to Download
Love and Will Quiz and Test
Check the Correct Answer on Bookey Website

Chapter 1 | INTRODUCTION: OUR SCHIZOID

WORLD| Quiz and Test
1.Love and will are seen as significant problems in
contemporary society rather than resolutions to
life's challenges.
2.The author argues that neurotic individuals do not reflect
broader cultural conflicts but instead exhibit issues isolated
from societal concerns.
3.Apathy serves as a defense mechanism against the
overwhelming demands of modern life, leading to
detachment and emptiness in individuals.
Chapter 2 | PARADOXES OF SEX AND LOVE|
Quiz and Test
1.In Western tradition, love can be categorized into
four distinct types: sex, eros, philia, and agape.
2.The modern focus on sexual techniques has enhanced
genuine passion and intimacy in relationships.

Scan to Download
3.Freud’s emphasis on control and sublimation of desires
promotes a more liberated view of sexuality.
Chapter 3 | EROS IN CONFLICT WITH SEX| Quiz
and Test
1.Eros is depicted in Greek mythology as a symbol
of love, vitality, and creation.
2.Eros is primarily focused on physiological aspects of
sexual encounters without emotional connection.
3.Freud considered eros to be essential for personal growth
and connection, apart from just primal instincts.

Scan to Download
Chapter 4 | LOVE AND DEATH| Quiz and Test
1.The awareness of death enhances our appreciation
for love and existence, according to Rollo May.
2.The obsession with sex in modern society serves as a form
of distraction from the fear of death, according to the text.
3.Contraceptives eliminate the tragic nature of love and sex,
making romantic relationships completely without
responsibility.
Chapter 5 | LOVE AND THE DAIMONIC| Quiz
and Test
1.Rollo May defines the daimonic as a crucial
element in human experience related to love and
creativity.
2.The daimonic only embodies positive aspects of human
impulses, excluding any capacity for destruction.
3.May believes that modern society effectively embraces the
daimonic, facilitating personal growth and authentic
relationships.
Chapter 6 | THE DAIMONIC IN DIALOGUE| Quiz

Scan to Download
and Test
1.The daimonic refers to inner drives that can only
manifest in constructive ways.
2.Dialogue is essential for integrating daimonic forces and
fostering community.
3.Naming daimonic forces in therapy does not contribute to
their management.

Scan to Download
Chapter 7 | THE WILL IN CRISIS| Quiz and Test
1.The crisis of will in modern society is largely
attributed to the loss of love, affirmation, and
decisiveness in personal relationships.
2.Freud's criticism of Victorian ideals suggested that
individuals are entirely responsible for their actions without
any influence from unconscious motivations.
3.The chapter describes John as a case study illustrating how
existential anxiety can lead to paralysis in decision-making.
Chapter 8 | WISH AND WILL| Quiz and Test
1.Rollo May emphasizes the importance of focusing
on conscious decisions in therapy rather than
deterministic factors.
2.May argues that Freud's psychoanalysis supports the
exercise of will by prioritizing conscious choices over
unconscious forces.
3.May believes that the ability to wish is crucial for
emotional health and that its absence contributes to societal
despair.

Scan to Download
Chapter 9 | INTENTIONALITY| Quiz and Test
1.Intentionality is a structure that gives meaning to
experience and extends beyond mere intentions.
2.Perception is independent of intentionality and does not
rely on our conceptual understanding.
3.The body is irrelevant to the concept of intentionality and
does not influence our understanding of it.

Scan to Download
Chapter 10 | INTENTIONALITY IN THERAPY|
Quiz and Test
1.In therapy, the focus is solely on diagnosing the
psychological issues faced by individuals.
2.Preston's writer's block was linked to personal expectations
and perceived inadequacies.
3.The stages of therapy are linear, meaning individuals must
complete one stage before moving on to the next.
Chapter 11 | THE RELATION OF LOVE AND
WILL| Quiz and Test
1.Sexual passion is identified as the 'kernel of the
will to live' according to Schopenhauer.
2.A strong emphasis on will always enhances a person's
capacity to love.
3.True love requires immediate gratification without the need
for time and imagination.
Chapter 12 | THE MEANING OF CARE| Quiz and
Test
1.Care is essential for eros and human tenderness,
and it stands in contrast to apathy.

Scan to Download
2.According to Rollo May, emotions like love and
compassion are insignificant in the search for meaning in
life.
3.The therapeutic process is more effective without
emotional connection to the clients.

Scan to Download
Chapter 13 | COMMUNION OF
CONSCIOUSNESS| Quiz and Test
1.Love is purely a biological impulse and does not
involve a psychological connection.
2.The love act enhances consciousness through tenderness
and self-affirmation.
3.Love and will are independent of societal forms and do not
influence human experience.

Scan to Download