Hampshire Child and Adolescent

Mental Health Services

Best Version
of you
 Best Version of you
What’s this all about? How to use this guide:
Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes it’s great, This guide is about helping you
we’re having loads of fun and feeling good and to be the ‘best version of you’. It’s
on top of things. At other times, life can be hard, here to help you manage situations
tough and sad things can happen and we can feel that might be new for you, or
like it’s hard to cope and manage. challenging by providing tips for
you to try, as well as information
It can be helpful to have some ideas of what to do on where to go if you need more
if you’re struggling and finding things hard. This support or help.
guide is here to help you with some of the issues
that many young people experience from time to There is one topic per page with
time. information about each topic, what
you might experience and how
you can help yourself. There are
Why is this important? also pages with different coping
strategies and things you can do to
We all have mental health.
look after yourself on a daily basis.
Your mental health is how you think and feel about
Read through this guide so you
yourself and the world around you. Our mental
know what’s in it, then keep it
health affects how we cope with everyday life
somewhere safe. Even if you don’t
situations, as well as the thoughts and feelings that
need it right now, life can be
we experience.
unpredictable and you never know
when you might need extra help.
Just like life, our mental health can be up and
down, sometimes good and sometimes not so
good. There are many things that can impact on
our mental health and the way we cope. Stressful
situations, relationships with other people, how
much sleep we get, our physical health, and
whether we have meaningful and enjoyable
hobbies are just some of the factors that can impact
on our mental health.

When our mental health is good we feel more

positively about ourselves; we enjoy life, learn
well, get along with others and can manage sad,
worrying or angry feelings better.

We can all take steps to look after our mental

health. Whatever happens in life, we all have
responsibility for the things we say and how we
behave. We have choices about what we can do
and how we can help ourselves. We hope you will
find this guide useful and inspiring.
 My personal crisis and coping plan
When I am coping this is what life looks GOALS, DREAMS AND HOPES:
like for me:

The following are signs that I am The following are signs I am not coping/
struggling to cope: am in crisis:

Things that keep me well day to day: My triggers for not coping:

Plan of action when I am struggling Plan of action when I am in crisis:

to cope:

Support I can access:

• hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk • YoungMinds Crisis Messenger;
click the ‘Help I am in crisis’ button text YM to 85258 free,
• stayingsafe.net 24hrs, 7 days a week
• thecalmzone.net
• Freephone Samaritans: 116 123
• papyrus-uk.org 24hrs, 7 days a week
• harmless.org.uk

Stay Alive What’s Up? WellMind

Unless stated otherwise, apps are not supplied by the NHS and the NHS is not liable for their use.
 School Stuff
How to manage school life

What are we talking about? What to do:

School is a place to learn, have fun, try new things, • Get organised: pack your school
make friends and develop yourself as a person. bag the night before. Get your
books, stationery and lunch
Even though school should be a safe and ready. Check the school plan so
supportive place, they can also be noisy and busy. you know where you’re meant to
There is also lots to remember and things to do be and at what time.
which can become stressful and overwhelming at
times. • Write down or put reminders
in your phone about deadlines
or specific things you need to
What might it feel like if I am remember.
struggling at school? • Make sure your phone is charged
and you have credit in case
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or of emergencies, or there are
staying asleep, waking up very early or having problems getting to school or
nightmares). home.
• Not wanting to be on your own and doing a lot • Check you know the school
of checking that everything will be ok with an rules.
adult. • Keep extra pens in your school
• Having lots of “what if” thoughts (such as bag/locker in case you forget
“what if something bad happens?”) which can your pencil case.
mean you feel too worried to go to school. • Have a plan around homework;
• Having physical (body) feelings, such as a racing work out what are your priorities
heart rate, quicker breathing, upset tummy, and leave enough time to do all
feeling sick, feeling dizzy or faint, sweaty hands. the tasks you have.
• Struggling with concentration and motivation to • Ask for help if you don’t
do things. understand school or homework
• Comparing yourself negatively to other people or you are stuck. No one expects
(in things like appearance, academic success, you to know everything and
sporting ability). teachers are there to help you.
It’s ok to ask questions or to ask
• Not sharing your opinions or preferences - not for help.
believing these are important or equal to others.
• Try not to compare yourself to
• May find it difficult to make and keep other people; we’re all unique
friendships. and have different strengths and
• May struggle with making mistakes and interests. It’s ok not to like the
worrying about failing or not being/doing good same things as your friends.
enough. • Make sure you get enough sleep
• Worry about letting other people down. on school nights.
Things to remember
to do - school

Night before
Sort my bag
Stationery Homework P.e. kit
Books Lunch

Get uniform/ Charge

clothes ready phone

Morning
Pack my bag
Water bottle Lunch P.e. kit
Locker/home keys Money

Phone
 Battling Bullying
What to do if you or someone else is being bullied

What are we talking about? What to do:

Bullying is a word used to describe deliberate • Tell someone. Many young
behaviour that causes upset and hurt to another people worry about telling an
person. adult as they don’t want the
bullying to get worse and also
There are many forms of bullying which can include worry about being believed.
‘teasing’, ‘banter’, as well as online bullying. Online Although these worries are
bullying includes being bullied via mobile phone, email, understandable, it’s important
messaging services and social media. that you tell a trusted adult
so that you can have the help
Although bullying can be common in schools, colleges and support you need.
and online, this does not mean that it is ok. If you or • Some forms of bullying
someone else you know is being bullied you must let are illegal (violence, theft,
someone know. harassment or intimidation,
threats and abusive phone
What might it feel like being bullied? calls, emails or text messages)
• Having low self-esteem and lacking in confidence; and should be reported to the
feeling not good enough or not as good as anyone Police.
else. • Remember: If you are being
• Believing what bullies tell you. bullied, it is not your fault
and you do not deserve to be
• Feeling worried and panicking.
abused or made to feel any
• Having physical (body) feelings such as a racing heart less of a person.
rate, quicker breathing, upset tummy, feeling sick,
• Block, unfriend, mute and
feeling dizzy or faint, sweaty hands.
delete. If social media is a
• Having lots of “what if” thoughts (such as “what if problem, delete the apps
something bad happens?”) which can mean you feel or your account. Turn your
too worried to go into school. phone off at night.
• Feeling angry towards bullies and other people (this • Find hobbies and activities
might mean you might behave in an angry way; being that will boost your self-
irritable, shouting or being physically aggressive). esteem and confidence.
• Difficulties concentrating and struggling with Joining new groups or clubs
motivation; you may notice you’re not doing as well in will give you the opportunity
your work at school. to meet new people and
• You may not feel like hanging out with your friends or make new friends.
doing sociable things. • There is a lot more
• You might not enjoy your hobbies and interests as information on the
much as you once did. Hampshire CAMHS website:
hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or staying young-people/bullying-yp/
asleep, nightmares).
• If you’re in crisis; call 111 (24
• For some young people they may wet the bed at night hours a day, 7 days a week)
(this is often a sign of unhappiness and stress). to speak to a qualified mental
• You may have thoughts about harming yourself. health professional.
 Safe Card
You can ask your school for a copy of this card to put in your bag/wallet:

The Samaritans
116 123
Hampshire Child and Adolescent Email: [email protected]
Mental Health Services
24 hours, 7 days a week
HOPELINEUK
Call: 0800 068 41 41
Text: 07860 039967
9am-10pm (Mon-Fri)
2pm-10pm (weekends & bank holidays)
YoungMinds
Parents Helpline:
0808 802 55 44
9:30am-4pm (Mon-Fri)
Suicide Awareness Email: [email protected]
YoungMinds Crisis Messenger:
for Everyone Text YM to 85258 (open 24/7)

Useful self help apps:

Stay Alive InHand Calm Harm WellMind What’s Up?

Unless stated otherwise, apps are not supplied by the NHS
and the NHS is not liable for their use.

Useful self help websites:

hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk
thecalmzone.net
papyrus-uk.org Services provided by
Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust
 Exam Stress
How to manage exam stress

What are we talking about? What to do:

Lots of people will struggle with a school issue • Tell someone how you are feeling
at some point and most people feel worried and no matter what your worries are.
stressed about tests and exams. You are not alone. There will be someone who will
listen and try to support you.
If you notice that you’re feeling worried a lot of • Although worrying feels horrible,
the time, or that your worries are getting in the remember these feelings will
way of everyday life (such as going to school, pass and the physical sensations
seeing friends or doing activities you enjoy) this is cannot harm you. Remind
probably a sign you need to tell someone how you yourself that you have been
are feeling and get some help. anxious before, that those
feelings passed, that you coped
What might exam stress look like? and were ok. If you need to,
use activities, such as watching
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or TV, spending time with friends,
staying asleep, waking up very early in the reading, making things and
morning or having nightmares). listening to music, to help
• Avoidance of anything to do with school, manage until you feel a bit
studying or exams, OR overworking; spending better.
long periods of time revising, not wanting to • Look after your physical, mental
take breaks or do other activities, especially and emotional health by:
hobbies.
¯ Eating and drinking regularly
• Comparing yourself to others and worrying
¯ Getting enough sleep
about not doing as much or achieving as much
as other people. ¯ Being organised; planning and
pacing work
• Having lots of “what if” thoughts (such as
“what if I fail and don’t get into college/ ¯ Taking regular breaks from
university?”) which can mean you feel too revision and studying,
worried to try things. including having study free
days.
• Becoming more easily upset.
• Have down time; do hobbies
• Feeling tired and as though you have no energy.
and spend time with friends and
• Struggling with concentration and motivation; family.
feeling hopeless (‘what is the point?’).
• Taking part in regular physical
• Having physical (body) feelings such as a racing activity.
heart rate, quicker breathing, upset tummy,
• There is a lot of information on
feeling sick, feeling dizzy or faint, sweaty hands.
the Hampshire CAMHS website:
• Not looking after yourself (not eating enough/ hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
eating too much, not showering or washing young-people/school-college-
regularly, not being physically active). exams/
 Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a technique used to focus your awareness on the present moment, while
acknowledging and accepting your feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

• To be ‘mindful’ means to pay attention

to the moment; to focus on the here and
now, and be more aware of how the
here and now is affecting the ‘whole’
you.
• This has real benefits as the present
moment is often a lot less stressful than
the fears and worries you have about the
past or the future.
• Mindfulness practice doesn’t try to ‘do’
anything to you, or force you to believe Websites:
anything.
• mindfulnessforteens.com
• Mindfulness means paying attention
in a particular way; on purpose, • smilingmind.com.au
in the present moment, and non-
judgementally, with kindness and
curiosity.
• The great thing is that learning
Books:
mindfulness is simple! It can be practiced
by anyone, anytime, anywhere. • The Art of Mindfulness for children
• For further information on practicing • Sitting like a frog
the principles of mindfulness, see the
resources on this page:
APPS:

Smiling mind

Headspace

MyLife Meditation: Mindfulness

Mindfulness Daily

Unless stated otherwise, apps are not supplied by the NHS and the NHS is not liable for their use.
 Friends
How to manage the ups and downs of friendship

What are we talking about? What to do:

Friends and friendships are great when things are • Treat others the way you’d like to
going well but life can feel pretty miserable and be treated. If you wouldn’t want
stressful if you’re struggling to make friends or a picture posted or comment
when there are arguments and fallings out. made online or face to face,
then think twice about posting
Lots of people have difficulties with friends from or saying anything that might
time to time so you’re not alone if you’re having embarrass, upset or annoy
a hard time. Friendships take time and effort with someone else.
both people responsible for how they talk and
behave. • It’s ok to have a difference of
opinion but treat each other with
respect and dignity when talking
What it can feel like to experience about differences.
friendship difficulties: • If you have said or done
something which has caused
• Feeling a range of emotions (e.g. sad, worried, offence or upset, even if you
irritable, upset, confused). didn’t mean to, start with an
• Having lots of “what” thoughts (such as “what apology. We all make mistakes
do other people think about me?) from time to time, so forgive
yourself then ask for forgiveness
• Struggling with concentration and motivation from the person who is upset.
to do things. You might notice it’s harder to do
home/school work. • Friendships take effort to build
and maintain on both parts.
• Preferring to be by yourself - not wanting to Make time for the people you
speak to or spend time with other people, OR care about. Try to connect with
not wanting to be by yourself and wanting to friends face to face rather than
be close to people you feel comfortable with. always on social media. Let your
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or friends know that you are there
staying asleep, waking very early in the morning for them and you care about
and not being able to get back to sleep). them.
• Not enjoying activities you usually like. • Don’t be afraid to find new
friends. You don’t always have to
keep the same friends that you
had in primary school and you
can have more than one group
of friends.
• There is a lot of information on
the Hampshire CAMHS website:
hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
young-people/friendships/
 Kindness and compassion

What kindness means to me...

Behaving kindly and compassionately Just because someone might seem happy
towards others is good for us, and for and confident, you never know what
other people. Treating other people how challenges or difficulties they may be
we would like to be treated ourselves is experiencing, so it’s important to be kind.
important to hold in mind. Respect, honesty
and kindness are qualities and values that There are many ways of showing people
we can expect from other people, and give you care, and different people will have
to others in return. different preferences in terms of how
they show others that they care about
Even though we would hope others them. Watch this short film about the Five
would show kindness and compassion Languages of Love to think more about
towards us, we should behave kindly and your own preferences for giving and
compassionately to everyone, even if they receiving love and care;
are not always kind to us. youtu.be/2F_neejm5Zw
 Break ups and goodbyes
Coping with loss and bereavement

What are we talking about? What to do:

Bereavement and loss of a loved one (such as a family • It’s important that you tell a
member, friend or pet) can be really devastating. trusted adult so that you can
People may also feel a sense of loss when an have the help and support you
important relationship ends (such as relationship need.
break up or friendship break down). When you • It’s usual to feel a range of
experience a bereavement or loss, it can be hard emotions from sadness, anger,
to understand, process or adjust. There is no right fear, relief or even nothing
or wrong way to feel think or behave; everyone at all. Some people find
processes grief differently. Some days you may feel anniversaries and certain days
more able to cope than other days. It is important to (such as birthdays) harder to
be kind to yourself. deal with.
• Try to keep normal routines
What might it look like? going as much as possible.
• Everyone processes grief differently. However, you • Keep doing activities you enjoy
may notice the following; and spend time with friends
• A range of emotions from sadness, anger, fear, and family. It’s okay to feel
relief or even nothing at all. happy, to laugh or to have
fun. This does not mean that
• Difficulties accepting the loss. you don’t care about for the
• A sense of guilt, regret or responsibility. person you have lost.
• Difficulties concentrating and poor motivation; you • If you are finding it hard to
may notice it’s harder to do school or home work. talk about how you feel, you
• Preferring to be by yourself - not wanting to might find it easier to write
speak to or spend time with other people OR not a letter to someone who is
wanting to be by yourself and wanting to be close supporting you, so they know
to people you feel comfortable with. what you are going through.
• Having worries that bad things might happen to • Create a memory box full
you or other people you love and care about. of pictures and items which
remind you of good times you
• Having thoughts or urges about wanting to end
had with the person you have
your own life to be with the loved one you have
lost.
lost.
• Grieving takes a lot of energy.
• Constant thoughts about what has happened to
Make sure you eat, drink and
the loved one they have lost.
rest regularly. Physical activity
• Disinterest and loss of enjoyment in hobbies and and getting outside for fresh
interests. air daily can help.
• Difficulty sleeping (nightmares, difficulties getting • There is a lot of information
to or staying asleep, early morning wakening). on the Hampshire CAMHS
• For some young people they may wet the bed website: hampshirecamhs.
at night (this is often a sign of unhappiness and nhs.uk/help/young-people/
stress). bereavement-loss/
• Loss of appetite or comfort eating.
 Self-soothe box
When we are feeling anxious, low or
distressed we can get caught up in negative
thoughts and how bad we are feeling. It
can be helpful to have your very own self-
soothe box, which you can fill with different
things to distract you and help you to feel
better in those moments.

The idea with this box is to include things

which soothe all five of our senses, helping
us to feel better in all sorts of ways and take
us out of our head and how we are feeling.

A step-by-step guide:
1. Get an empty box from around the house
(an old shoe box works well) or you can buy
one from a craft shop.

2. Decorate the box inside and out with 4. Here are some other things that you can
anything you like - it could be coloured, include to help, as a distraction or to keep
painted, decorated with wrapping paper, you occupied: activity books (colouring,
fabric or decoupage. Make something that crosswords, wordsearch, sudoku), art and
appeals to you! craft materials, notebook or diary and a
pen.
3. Collect items together that are meaningful
to you, or you know will help you feel 5. Try to think of anything else you can include
better. Remember these should be soothing which you know you enjoy or would help
for all five senses. Here are some ideas: when you are struggling.

SEE: photos of fun memories, snow globe, When you use these items, or if you choose
glitter jar, DVD’s of your favourite films or to do something else that works, try to make
TV shows, a reminder of funny or inspiring sure you pay attention to your physical senses:
YouTube videos. see, hear, smell, taste and touch.

HEAR: your favourite music, songs that you Look around you and notice what you see
know lift your mood, recordings of a friend’s (colours, shapes, light or shadow, movement),
voice, audio book. what you hear (nature sounds, sounds in the
room, near and far), what you smell or taste
TOUCH: bubble wrap, a teddy bear, a pillow, (including from the environment around you),
soft woolly socks or blanket, nail varnish. and what you can touch right now wherever
you are, as well as items from your self-soothe
SMELL: favourite perfume or body spray, box.
candles, a fruity bubble bath or soap.
Check out the video on our website for
TASTE: dried fruit or nuts, hot chocolate, more ideas: hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/video/5-
sweets, your favourite chocolate. of-7-make-your-own-self-soothe-box/
 Weighed down by worries
How to manage if you are feeling worried

What are we talking about? What to do:

It is normal to feel worried or stressed out from time • Tell someone how you are
to time, especially when you’re doing something new feeling no matter what your
or out of your comfort zone, such as starting a new worries are, even if you are
school, taking a test or getting the bus/train on your worried about doing so. There
own for the first time. will be someone who will
listen and try to support you.
If you notice that you’re feeling worried a lot of the
time or that your worries are getting in the way of • Although worrying feels
everyday life (such as going to school, seeing friends horrible, remember these
or doing things you enjoy) this is probably a sign you feelings will pass and the
need to tell someone how you are feeling and get physical sensations cannot
some help. harm you. Remind yourself
that you have been anxious
before, that those feelings
What might it look like? passed, that you coped and
were ok. If you need to, use
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or activities, such as watching TV,
staying asleep, waking up very early or having spending time with friends,
nightmares). reading, making things and
• Not wanting to be on your own and doing a lot of listening to music, to help
checking that everything will be ok with an adult. manage until you feel a bit
better.
• Having lots of “what if” thoughts (such as “what
if something bad happens?”) which can mean you • Try really hard not to avoid
feel too worried to try things. the things that make you
worry; the more you avoid
• Getting upset if you have to face your fear or even
the things you worry about,
when thinking about facing the fear.
the bigger, harder and more
• Having physical (body) feelings such as a racing scary it becomes and the more
heart rate, quicker breathing, upset tummy, worried you will feel. Instead,
feeling sick, feeling dizzy or faint, sweaty hands. try to face your worries bit by
bit - the more you face it, the
The types of worries that are most common but cause easier things will become. You
a lot of distress include: will also show yourself that
nothing bad happens and that
• Worries about what other people think of you, or you can cope.
worries about being judged negatively, • Break things down into smaller
• Worries about bad things happening, steps and do these as often as
• Uncontrollable constant worry about lots of things possible.
(like school, the future, health, world events), • There is a lot of information
• Worries about your safety and health (including on the Hampshire
worries about germs and contamination), CAMHS website:
hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk
• Feeling the need to complete certain routines,
rituals or behaviours to stop bad things from
happening.
 A TO Z OF COPING
A B
Activity: Breathe:
Do Take deep breaths
something in and long slow

STRATEGIES you enjoy breaths out

C D
Create:
Here’s a list of 26 ideas, strategies and Find creative ways
Distract:
techniques that might help you if you to express yourself,
Keep yourself
for example paint,
are feeling worried or stressed. busy
draw, dance or
sing
Not all things work for all people but
you won’t know until you try. You’ll

E F
Friends and
also need to practice and use these Exercise:
several times so you get the hang of family (and
Get moving
them. through physical pets!): Spend
activity or sport time with
loved ones

g h I J
Goal setting: Helpline: Ice: Cool down,
Break things down Call for
Join in: Don’t
have a shower, isolate yourself;
into small steps confidential help, lower your connect with
and advice and support temperature to those around you
focus on one (see the back of help calm things
thing at a time this leaflet) down

l M N
Look for Nurture and

k
Keep things less harmful nourish: Look
simple: Prioritise alternatives: after yourself
what you need to What else can you by eating and
do and let go of Music:
do? Write a list of Listen to your drinking
the rest other options favourite tunes

o p Q R
Outside: Get Problem solve: Quiet time: Relax: Chill out;
some fresh air to Can challenges Keep things remind yourself
clear your or barriers be calm and that it won’t
mind. Go for overcome? Who or peaceful around always be this
a walk what can help you you hard
with this?

s t U V
Support: Who’s Use your talents Visualise:
around you that Text: Contact a and strengths: A calm or
you can lean on mate or someone Focus on what you happy
for more support? you trust do well and do more place
of it

w x Y Z
Write it down: Xbox or other You can do it!
Keep a diary, You can cope, you Zzzzzzzzzzz:
write a letter or
guilty pleasures: Sleep on it. Don’t
It’s ok to have will get through
a blog. Get it out this. Believe in make any sudden
downtime decisions
of your mind and yourself
onto paper
 It’s OK not to be ok
How to cope when you’re feeling sad and down

What are we talking about? What to do?

Life can be stressful and sad things can happen so • It is important to tell someone
it is understandable that we may feel sad from time how you are feeling. You could
to time - this is normal. talk to a parent/carer, teacher,
health professional (school nurse
People often say “I’m so depressed” when or your GP). This is important if
they’re having a bad day or week, but depression you are having thoughts or urges
is different from feeling sad, down or ‘can’t to harm yourself or end your life.
be bothered’. People with depression can feel
a range of emotions including sadness, stress, • Follow a basic daily routine.
hopelessness, loneliness, irritability (anger), Make sure that you still do the
emptiness or numbness. People with depression activities you need to do, and do
often have negative thoughts about themselves, some of the activities you used to
other people, the future or life in general. enjoy but perhaps stopped doing
because you are feeling low and
unmotivated. Plan activities for
What might it look like? the morning, afternoon and
evening and try to stick to these
• Feeling tired and not having much energy. even if you do not feel like it.
• Struggling with concentration and motivation to Avoiding or withdrawing from
do things. doing things is known to lower
• Preferring to be by yourself - not wanting to mood so make sure that you see
speak to or spend time with friends or family, friends, go to school, do things
OR not wanting to be by yourself and wanting you enjoy (or used to) even if it’s
to be close to a trusted adult. hard and you don’t feel like it.
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or • Break things down into small
staying asleep, waking very early in the morning steps and do one at a time
and not being able to get back to sleep). so tasks do not seem so
overwhelming.
• Not enjoying activities you usually like.
• Look after yourself; eat well,
• Not caring about or having the energy to wash sleep, get some fresh air daily, do
or change clothes regularly. exercise/physical activity often.
• Feeling a range of emotions (e.g. irritable, upset, • There is a lot of information on
confused). the Hampshire CAMHS website:
• Feeling hopeless about the future (thinking hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
‘what’s the point?’) young-people/depression-yp/
• Difficulties identifying goals or hopes for the • If you’re in crisis; call 111 (24
future. hours a day, 7 days a week) to
• Thoughts, urges or plans to harm yourself or speak to a qualified mental health
some thoughts to end your life. professional.
 Identify and rate your emotion
0/10 = no emotion 10/10 = maximum intensity of emotion

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY

SAD

ANGRY

WORRIED

EMPTY
z zz

TIRED

HAPPY

CALM

Our emotions can change regularly so it can be useful to keep a track on how you are
feeling and how strong these feelings are. This is so that you can see how your moods
change throughout the day and week. When we are feeling sad or worried we can
sometimes think that we will always feel this way but by tracking our mood you will be able
to see how it can vary. If you notice that you are feeling sad, worried or angry regularly this
might be a good time to ask for help and talk to someone about how you are feeling.
 Feeling ‘MEH’
How to cope when you’re feeling bored

What are we talking about? What to do:

Boredom is a word to describe feeling restless, • Boredom is often linked
unsettled or dissatisfied often due to lack of to a lack of connection, so
interest in what is happening or due to not much communicate. Speak face to face
happening. or on the phone with someone.
Connecting with someone can
often break the boredom cycle.
What does it feel like being bored? • Have a routine; getting up at
• Feeling tired and not having much energy. the same time, eating meals and
going to bed at the same time
• Struggling with concentration and motivation to can help you to plan your days.
do things. Try to have at least one thing
• Preferring to be by yourself - not wanting to planned a day.
speak to or spend time with friends or family, • Keep a to-do list; a mix of things
OR not wanting to be by yourself and wanting you need/should do (e.g. tidy
to be close to a trusted adult. your room, do school work) and
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or things you’d like to do (e.g. see
staying asleep, waking very early in the morning friends, play games, listen to
and not being able to get back to sleep). music). Pick two from the ‘need/
• Not enjoying activities you usually like. should’ list and two from the
• Not caring about or having the energy to wash ‘like to do’ list. You might be
or change clothes regularly. able to combine the two - e.g.
listening to music whilst you tidy
• Difficulties identifying goals or hopes for the your room.
future.
• Offer to help someone do
something or invite someone to
do something with you.
• Set yourself goals of things you
want to achieve and break these
goals down into smaller steps to
help you get there.
• Look after yourself; eat well,
sleep, get some fresh air daily, do
exercise/physical activity often.
• There is a lot of information on
the Hampshire CAMHS website:
hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
young-people/
 Dial up, Dial Down
Tick the activity that you tried & write “H” if it helped you to
manage the feelings you experienced

Dial up my energy

Take a cold
h shower h Dance h Sing h Run

h Trampoline h Jump h Skip h Bike ride

Hula
h Scooter h Listen to loud/
fast music h Hooping

Dial down my energy

COOK Arts & Mindfulness

h or BAKE h Read h crafts h or meditation

Watch a Listen to
h Film/TV h calm music h Walk h Gardening
 Sweet Dreams
Getting a good sleep

What are we talking about? What to do:

Lots of people find getting to sleep, staying asleep • Create a calming and peaceful
or waking up a real problem. Disrupted, broken or environment. Rooms that are
not enough sleep can really impact on your mood dark and cool are best for sleep.
and coping with daily life. • Aim to have a regular bedtime
Sleep is important for growth and development. routine and sleep pattern - this
Teenagers aged 13-18 years should regularly sleep includes going to bed and
8-11 hours per 24 hours. getting up at the same time
every day.
If you are experiencing regular problems with your • If at all possible, avoid using
sleep, it might be time to ask for some help. your bed for studying, reading
or listening to music. Your bed
should be used for sleeping.
Things that make sleep harder: • Try not to nap during the day.
Here are some of the most common factors which • Avoid drinking caffeinated drinks
effect sleep: (tea, coffee, energy drinks)
• Your bedroom may be too noisy, messy, too hot
before bed.
or too cold.
• Try not to drink too much before
• Your bed may be uncomfortable.
bed and go to the toilet as part
• You don’t have a regular sleep routine. of your routine.
• You aren’t getting enough physical activity/ • Avoid exercising right before you
exercise. go to bed.
• You may be eating too late and finding it hard • Exercise during the day.
to get off to sleep because you’re full. • Make sure you’re as organised
• You’re going to bed hungry and wake up too as you can be for the day ahead
early because you’re hungry. so that you are not worrying or
• Drinks containing caffeine, such as tea, coffee thinking about what you have to
and energy drinks. do or what you might need.
• Illness, pain, or a high temperature. • Talk to someone you trust about
• Feeling worried or low in mood. anything that’s bothering you
that might be keeping you
• Overthinking and having a busy brain. awake.
• Physical problems – illness or disability which • There is a lot of information on
mean you experience pain. the Hampshire CAMHS website:
• Medications that affect sleep. hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
young-people/sleep/
 Muscle Relaxation
When we are feeling worried, stressed or angry our muscles can tense up. Relaxing our
muscles can help us calm down. Work from the bottom of your body to the top:

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
feet Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
Legs Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
stomach Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
chest Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
arms Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
hands Hold it for five seconds three times

Tense up all the

muscles in your
then let x 3
them relax Do this
face Hold it for five seconds three times
 Looking good, feeling fine
How to boost your body image

What are we talking about? What to do:

Body image is the term used to describe the way that • You are more than the way
we see ourselves. It’s how we think and feel about you look. Weight does not
our appearance and the relationship we have with our equal worth. Things that
bodies. Most people from time to time feel unsure or are more important than
lack confidence in their image and appearance, such appearance include: your
as having thoughts about wanting to be a bit taller personality, characteristics,
or worrying about what our hair or skin might look morals, values, ethics,
like. For a lot of people they worry about the size and behaviour, skills, effort,
shape of their body. Boys and girls can worry about passion, goals, ambition,
their body image and appearance and these worries friendships, hobbies and
can have a really big impact on daily life. interests.
• Your body allows you to do
some amazing things. In order
What does poor body image look like? for your mind and body to
• Worrying about what you look like and being work as well as it can, you
unhappy with certain features of your body or need to fuel it by eating and
face. drinking regularly.
• Comparing yourself to other people and finding • Speak to yourself kindly - like
fault with your own body. you would to your best friend.
• Spending a lot of time getting ready; this might • Practice safe-social media use:
make you late for or miss things, such as the think carefully about what you
school bus. look at online and only follow
accounts that are positive.
• Putting a lot of focus and importance on your
Block, unfriend, mute and
weight and shape; weighing self regularly.
delete anything or anyone
• Body checking behaviour e.g. pinching self and that doesn’t make you feel
checking reflection in the mirror regularly. good. Turn your phone off at
• Wanting to or trying to diet by ‘eating healthily’ night.
or following food movements such as the ‘clean • Remind yourself that we
eating’, ‘raw food’, ‘vegan’. are all different and have
• Increase in activity/exercise to try to change your strengths in different areas.
size and shape. • Having fun and trying things
• Trying to change your weight by taking laxatives, is important; you don’t always
diuretics, or self-induced vomiting. have to do things perfectly or
• Feeling worried about being seen by others, and be the best.
eating in public/in front of others. • There is a lot of information
• May struggle to identify positive qualities or on the Hampshire CAMHS
characteristics. website; hampshirecamhs.nhs.
uk/help/young-people/body-
• May struggle to make friends or struggle at school. image-self-esteem-young-
• May refuse or find excuses to engage in PE lessons. people/
 My body is brilliant because...

Our bodies are amazing, they let us do a whole number of things, from singing and dancing,
running and jumping, thinking and remembering, speaking and learning, drawing and
making, taking part in sports and activities and giving big hugs!
Try and list some of the ways in which your body is brilliant…
 Proud to be me
How to boost your self-esteem and confidence

What are we talking about? What to do:

Self-esteem is how we feel about ourselves in • Focus on all the things that are
general. People with good self-esteem are generally unique and special about you -
confident and accepting of themselves; they are your individuality, personality,
able to see their positive qualities and experience morals, values, behaviour,
feelings, such as pride in themselves. Those with skills, effort, passion, goals,
low self-esteem may experience thoughts or beliefs ambition, friendships, hobbies
about not being good enough or as good as other and interests. There is only one
people and may struggle to identify positive qualities of you; be proud of who you
or characteristics in themselves. Most people will feel are.
unsure or lack confidence in themselves from time to • Be kind to yourself as you
time, especially when trying something new. would be to others.
• Your voice matters; it’s
What does low self-esteem look like? important to voice your ideas
and opinions. It’s ok when
• Comparing yourself negatively to other people (in people disagree, so long as
things like appearance, academic success, sporting this is done respectfully. We all
ability). see things differently and have
• Being self-critical and struggling to identity different perspectives.
or accept personal positive qualities, traits, • Remember its ok to make
characteristics or successes. mistakes. Keep trying new
• Dismissing or discounting positive feedback from things regardless of the
others. outcome - you don’t have to
be right or do things perfectly
• Believing that others do not have genuine
all the time. By trying new
positive intentions towards you (e.g. they are only
things you might discover a
speaking to you to get something from you/to
new talent or have fun trying.
be polite/because they have to not because they
genuinely want to). • You can discover and develop
your talents by joining clubs,
• Not sharing your opinions or preferences - not
groups and different activities.
believing these are important or equal to others.
• When you say “I can’t do it”
• Believing that bad things happened to you
add in ‘yet’, so it becomes “I
because you deserve it or are a bad person.
can’t do it yet”. It takes time
• Taking personal responsibility for things beyond and practice to learn new
your control. skills.
• May be worried to try new things. • There is a lot of information
• Feeling sad. on the Hampshire CAMHS
• May find it difficult to make and keep friendships. website; hampshirecamhs.nhs.
uk/help/young-people/body-
• May struggle with making mistakes and worrying image-self-esteem-young-
about failing or not being/doing good enough. people/
• Worry about letting other people down.
 Five finger Positivity Challenge

Every day, practice identifying and saying out loud five strengths and positive
qualities that you possess.

You could adapt this and think of different things each day; five qualities that make you a
good friend, five of your life goals, five things you enjoy doing, five things you are proud of,
five things that make you unique etc.
 Love is Love
Figuring out sexual orientation

What are we talking about? What to do?

Sexual orientation is about who you are • Not all young people will be
romantically or sexually attracted to. For some certain about their sexuality/
people, they know and feel certain about their sexual orientation. It’s ok not to
sexuality whereas for others it may not be as clear. be sure or to be curious. You
It can take time to fully understand thoughts don’t have to be certain or make
and feelings. For others it will be clear but may a decision, you can take the time
still cause worry or stress. Most teenagers will be you need.
curious or question their sexuality at some point. • There is no right or wrong way
to feel or think. We’re all unique
and there is only one you.
What might it feel like to struggle • It can be helpful to share how
with your sexuality? you are feeling with someone
• Preferring to be by yourself and not spend as
you trust.
much time with family or friends. Not wanting • There is a lot more information
to do things or interact with other people. and support available from The
• Feeling alone. Proud Trust: theproudtrust.org/
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or • There is a lot of information on
staying asleep, waking very early in the morning the Hampshire CAMHS website:
and not being able to get back to sleep). hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk/help/
young-people/sexuality-and-
• Worrying about what others might say or do if gender-identity/
they found out.
• If you’re in crisis; call 111 (24
• Feeling hopeless and struggling to see a future. hours a day, 7 days a week) to
• Feeling anxious and having lots of “what if” speak to a qualified mental health
thoughts (such as “what if something bad professional.
happens?”).
• Thoughts, urges or plans to harm yourself or
some thoughts to end your life.
• Low self-esteem and confidence.
• Difficulties with concentration and motivation -
you might find that you’re not doing as well in
your school work.
• Misusing substances such as drugs or alcohol.
 The NHS Rainbow badge

We know that young people who identify When you see one of our staff members
as LGBTQ+ are more at risk of developing wearing a Rainbow NHS Badge, this
mental health difficulties so it is important means that they have completed specialist
to us that our young people know they training in LGBTQ+ suicide and self-harm
will be listened to, respected and accepted. prevention.
Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Service is also proud to be a part of The Rainbow Badge is a visual symbol
the NHS Rainbow Badge Scheme. identifying its wearer as someone who
any LGBTQ+ person can feel comfortable
The Rainbow Badge initiative gives talking to about issues relating to sexuality
healthcare staff a way to show that their or gender identity. It shows that the wearer
place of work offers open, non-judgemental is there to listen without judgement and
and inclusive care for all who identify as signpost to further support if needed.
LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender,
queer/questioning and the + simply means
inclusive of all identities, regardless of how
people define themselves).
 He/she/they
Figuring out gender identity

What are we talking about? What to do:

Your gender identity is about who you are, your sense • Not all young people will be
of self. Our gender identity can be very important to certain about their gender.
who we are as a person. Your gender identity might It’s ok not to be sure or to be
match or be different from your biological sex. Your curious. You don’t have to be
biological sex (whether you have a penis or vagina) certain or make a decision,
is determined by your chromosomes whereas your you can take the time you
gender identity is your own personal sense of gender need.
and how you choose to express this.
• There is no right or wrong
For some people, they know and feel certain about way to feel, think or express
their gender whereas for others it may not be as clear. yourself. We’re all unique
and there is only one you.
• It can be helpful to share
What might it feel like to struggle how you are feeling with
with your gender identity? someone you trust.
• Preferring to be by yourself and not spend as much • If you see someone who
time with family or friends. Not wanting to do things works in the NHS wearing
or interact with other people. a Rainbow NHS badge
this means that they have
• Feeling alone. completed specialist training
• Feeling upset with the changes that happen to your in LGBTQ+ issues, including
body during puberty (such as having periods, body supporting people who may
hair growth, voice changing). be struggling with their
• Worrying about how to dress/present yourself to gender identity. It shows
others - finding it hard and upsetting going clothes that the wearer is there to
shopping. listen without judgement and
to provide information and
• Feeling uncomfortable using biological sex pronouns. support if needed.
• Feeling uncomfortable wearing gender based school • There is a lot more
uniform. information and support
• Feeling uncomfortable using designated biological available from The Proud
sex toilets. Trust; theproudtrust.org/
• Feeling upset and anxious about PE and having to get • There is a lot of information
changed in front of others. on the Hampshire CAMHS
• Worrying about what others might say or do if they website: hampshirecamhs.
found out. nhs.uk/help/young-people/
• Feeling hopeless and struggling to see a future. sexuality-and-gender-identity/
• Thoughts, urges or plans to harm yourself or some • If you’re in crisis; call 111
thoughts to end your life. (24 hours a day, 7 days a
week) to speak to a qualified
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or staying mental health professional.
asleep, waking very early in the morning and not
being able to get back to sleep).
• Having low self-esteem and lacking in confidence.
• Misusing substances such as drugs or alcohol.
 TInRscAhooNlSor*c?ollege?
V
OW YO UR RI GH TS AT SC HO OL AND COis LLan umEGbreElla
KN gender is different to the one they were given at birth. Transder-questioning etc
* Trans = someone whose , no gender, gen
identify as transgender, non-binary
term which can include people who

YOU CAN
use whatever name, pronoun, title you want
YOU DON ’ T
need any documentation to prove it

YOU HAVE YOU DON ’ T

i
the right to be taken seriously have to undergo any changes, medical or
social, to have these rights under the
YOU HAVE Equality Act 2010
the right to decide who knows that you are
trans, when you tell people and how to tell YOU DON ’ T
them have to deal with transphobic bullying. This is
a hate crime and you can report it to school,

b
YOU HAVE college or the police
the right to use whichever toilet you feel
most comfortable using and to have equal If your school or college doesn’t
access to a gender neutral toilet know answers to your questions,
they should research the
guidelines for what to do next
YOU HAVE
the right to ask for support h-and-guidance-
www.theproudtrust.org/resources/researc hools-toolkit
by-other-organisations/trans-inc lusio n-sc

s Young people: You can contact The Proud Trust if

you feel that your rights are not being met by your
school or college. We can also offer you 1-2-1 support,
and tell you about your local LGBT youth groups.
s School and college staff: You can access training on
working with trans and gender variant young people
through The Proud Trust. Contact us for information
about how to best support all your students.
 Munching and moving
Eating and exercising

What are we talking about? What to do:

The food that we eat and the activity that we do • Eating breakfast is important; it
can have a big impact on both our physical and gives your brain and body fuel to
mental health. begin the day after you’ve been
asleep.
Food is fuel for our mind and bodies. We need
to eat regularly so that we can think, learn, • Eat regularly; aim for three
grow and cope with everyday life. Food is also meals as well as snacks. This is
fun, pleasurable and social; it’s something to be especially important if you are
enjoyed. mentally or physically active (for
example, revising for exams or
Being active is also important for our minds and taking part in sport).
bodies. Being active can include exercising, playing • Avoid following any diet trends;
sports or any way in which you are moving your these are often unhealthy and
body. can potentially cause physical,
mental and emotional difficulties.
What might it feel like if I haven’t • Make sure you stay hydrated by
drinking plenty of water. Aim
got the balance quite right? for 6-8 glasses per day (water
• Not having enough energy to do the things you or milk) and avoid drinking too
want or need to do, feeling tired or weak. many sugary or caffeinated
drinks.
• Finding it hard to concentrate and finding it
hard to motivate yourself to do things such as • Exercising should be fun. Make
school work or even things you enjoy. sure you do activities you enjoy.
Try not to worry about being
• You may experience big or quick changes the best or winning; taking part
in your moods. You might notice that you and having fun are the most
feel more irritable and less tolerant of other important when being active.
people. This might impact on things such as
relationships with other people - you might find • Being active doesn’t have to
you have more arguments. mean hard core exercise or sport;
you could just walk or ride your
• Not feeling physically well - having headaches, bike somewhere rather than get
feeling sick, feeling dizzy or faint, feeling cold, the bus or being driven, take the
aching muscles. stairs rather than using the lift,
• Feeling hungry OR feeling very full. or take part in activities such as
• You may notice a change in your bowel yoga.
habits, either becoming constipated or having • If you are worried you haven’t
diarrhoea. got the balance right, let
• You may notice that your weight changes; someone know.
either that you are losing or gaining weight. • There is a lot of information on
• For girls, you may notice that your periods the Hampshire CAMHS website;
become irregular or stop altogether. hampshirecamhs.nhs.uk
 What’s important to you?

List the most important Now write down some action points about how
things in your life: you are going to create opportunities and make
(Such as friends, family, time for the things that are important to you.
pets, music, sports, Try to make sure you do something each week for
education, hobbies etc.) each of the things you have listed as being important
to you (for example, if friends are important to you,
1 you might try to ensure that you meet up with a
friend on the weekend or after school).

2
1 2
3
4 3 4
5
5
List the values that are
most important to you:
Values; these are the traits, Now write down some action points about how
characteristics, morals you are going to create opportunities and behave
and ethics that we feel
personally connected to in ways that are in line with your values.
and that are important Try to think of an action point for each of the values
to us (such as honesty, you identity. For example if kindness is important to
kindness, trying hard, you, perhaps you might invite someone who is on
persevering etc.). their own to sit with you at lunch).

1 1 2
2
3 3 4
4
5
5
 Gaming
Using your phone and gaming safely

What are we talking about? What to do:

Lots of people like to spend time on their phones, • Practice safe gaming and
play video or online games. Many people spend social media use - only play
hours of their spare time on their phones or gaming. games suitable for your age
For lots of people this is ok and they are able to have (age restrictions are there for
other hobbies and interests, see friends and they a reason) and think carefully
can still get on with their everyday life. For others about what you look at online
this love of gaming can tip into being unhelpful and and only follow accounts that
impact on their life in a damaging way. are positive. Block, unfriend,
mute and delete anything or
anyone that doesn’t make you
What does it look like if your phone feel good.
or gaming is taking over? • If you’re worried about how
much time you spend on
• Constantly thinking about or wanting to play your phone or gaming, aim
games or use social media platforms. to reduce the amount of time
• Feeling irritable and restless (fidgety) when not spent on your phone and
playing. gaming by five minutes each
• Not being honest with yourself or others about day.
how much time you spend playing or playing in • Make sure you take regular
secret (such as in the middle of the night). breaks to eat, drink, rest and
• Having stiffness, poor posture, aches, pain, be physically active.
numbness or eye strain. • Where possible, keep your
• Tiredness and or headaches. bedroom free of gaming
devices and the internet. Turn
• Not wanting to pay attention to things like your your phone off at night.
personal hygiene (e.g. washing) or eating.
• Try to identify things you miss
• Not seeing friends as often or doing other things out on by being on your phone
you used to enjoy doing as all your time is spent or gaming. Find alternative
gaming. hobbies and interests. Whilst
• Not wanting to go to school so that you can game. these may not produce the
• Feeling a range of emotions (e.g. irritable, anxious, same level of excitement or
sad). distraction, it is important to
have a range of hobbies and
• Struggling with concentration and motivation to
interests.
do things. You might notice it’s harder to do
home/school work. • There is a lot of information
on the Hampshire CAMHS
• Problems with sleep (difficulties getting to or
website; hampshirecamhs.nhs.
staying asleep, waking very early in the morning
uk/help/young-people/gaming-
and not being able to get back to sleep).
addiction/
• Running up debts or spending money you don’t
have/that is not yours in order to pay for apps/
gaming extras.
 The virtual Activity Planner
Use this simple calculation to help you work out an activity to do!

? Choose a number between 1 and 9

x Multiply it by 3

+ Add 3

x Multiply it by 3 again

+ Add the two digit number you get together

= The number you get will be the

activity you will be doing!

1. Try an online class 10. Read the book you have been
2. Write a letter to someone and post meaning to read
3. Bake something 11. Phone a friend for a chat
4. Listen to some new music 12. Try meditation
5. Play a game with family/household 13. Cook something new
6. Watch your favourite film 14. Try something artistic
7. Start a diary/journal 15. Learn to juggle
8. Go for a long walk 16. Go and collect a bag of litter locally
9. Plant something/grow some herbs 17. Have a day without social media
from seed 18. Make a new playlist
NOTES:
 Services provided by

With thanks to The Police and Crime

Commissioners Youth Participation
group, Nursling Primary School, pupils
at The Westgate School and Swanmore
College Hampshire, and to young people
within Hampshire CAMHS participation
group, for all their amazing ideas and
contributions to this booklet.

Follow us on social:
Hampshire CAMHS Innovation and Events

@HANTS_CAMHS

our_mh_space

www.headsoncharity.org

Copyright © 2021 Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust

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