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 Acknowledgments i

Navigating Interracial Borders

ii Acknowledgments
 Acknowledgments iii

Navigating
Interracial Borders
BLACK-WHITE COUPLES
AND THEIR SOCIAL WORLDS

,
ERICA CHITO CHILDS

Rutgers University Press

New Brunswick, New Jersey, and London
 iv Acknowledgments

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Childs, Erica Chito, 1971–
Navigating interracial borders : black-white couples and their social worlds / Erica
Chito Childs.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 0–8135–3585–9 (hardcover : alk. paper)
ISBN 0–8135–3586–7 (pbk. : alk. paper)
1. Interracial marriage—United States. 2. Interracial marriage—United States—Public
opinion. 3. Interracial dating—United States. 4. Race awareness—United States. 5.
Racism—United States. 6. Race relations in motion pictures. 7. United States—Race
relations. I. Title.
HQ1031.C485 2005
306.84'6—dc22 2004021377

A British Cataloging-in-Publication record for this book is available from the British
Library.

Copyright © 2005 by Erica Chito Childs

All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or utilized in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without
written permission from the publisher. Please contact Rutgers University Press, 100 Joyce
Kilmer Avenue, Piscataway, NJ 08854–8099. The only exception to this prohibition is
“fair use” as defined by U.S. copyright law.

Manufactured in the United States of America

 Acknowledgments v

To my two loves, Christopher and Jada

vi Acknowledgments
 Acknowledgments vii

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments ix

Introduction: The Interracial Canary 1

1 Loving across the Border:

Through the Lens of Black-White Couples 19

2 Constructing Racial Boundaries and

White Communities 44

3 Crossing Racial Boundaries and Black Communities 75

4 Families and the Color Line: Multiracial Problems
for Black and White Families 109

5 Racialized Spaces: College Life in Black and White 139

6 Black_White.com: Surfing the Interracial Internet 169

7 Listening to the Interracial Canary 182

Appendix: Couples Interviewed 195

Notes 201
Bibliography 229
Index 243

vii
viii Acknowledgments
 Acknowledgments ix

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

In many ways, this book really began as my own journey to understand how
and why people react the way they do to seeing interracial couples. Know-
ing the questions and scrutiny one often goes through as part of a multira-
cial family, I want to give my deepest thanks to the wonderful couples who
opened up to me about their lives, their families, and their experiences. Also,
I am indebted to the individuals who participated in the focus groups I con-
ducted and who discussed their views on interracial couples, because there
were many who refused to even engage in a dialogue about these issues.
While not all of those interviewed will agree with the arguments I put forth,
please know that this is not meant to be a critique of any individual or couple,
but an examination of racial attitudes, beliefs, and behaviors that are some-
times only visible through responses to interracial relationships.
I conducted most of the research for the book as a doctoral student at
Fordham University, and I want to thank all of the faculty, administrators,
and others there who were extremely supportive of my project, including
Rosemary Cooney, Mark Chapman, Mark Naison, Rosa Giglio, and Mark
Warren. I would also like to thank Clara Rodriguez, for challenging me to
think about race in different ways, including my own position; Lynn Chancer,
for helping me better conceptualize and organize my ideas through engaged
and enthusiastic critiques; and my mentor, E. Doyle McCarthy, for her theo-
retical insight, serious and careful critiques of many drafts, and emotional
support. Eastern Connecticut State University, in particular the sociology de-
partment and administration, was also particularly supportive as I made fi-
nal revisions and navigated the publication process. Numerous colleagues
have contributed to this book through their critiques, readings of drafts, com-
ments on presentations, and support, such as Joane Nagel, Kerry Ann
ix
 x Acknowledgments

Rockquemore, Abby Ferber, Elijah Anderson, Marlese Durr, Ronald Taylor,

Charles Gallagher, Tyrone Forman, Alex Lyon, and Jeane Flavin. In particu-
lar, I want to thank Eduardo Bonilla-Silva and Heather Dalmage for their in-
depth comments and questions on earlier drafts, which helped transform the
work. Also my editor, Kristi Long, has been continually supportive and
helpful.
Since this research comes out of my own experiences, I need to ac-
knowledge and thank everyone I have encountered who influenced me
through our experiences, both good and bad. I want to acknowledge my
school friends and community members in Rhode Island who taught me about
white privilege and still provide subtle reminders of how opposition to in-
terracial relationships works both knowingly and unknowingly. My under-
graduate experiences at San Jose State University and, most notably, my
relationship with my former partner Derrick Childs also provided me with
insight. As an undergraduate, I routinely wrote papers on interracial marriage
but was always left wanting more from the research that existed, which mainly
looked to explain the couples through an analysis of their characteristics,
motives, and relationships. While being biased myself, since I was involved
in an interracial relationship and surely didn’t want to focus on our motives
and characteristics, I still knew that the way others responded to individuals
like us was as important, or probably even more important, than the couples
themselves. This is what inspired me to interview other couples, to see what
their experiences were, and to talk to other communities to see if the opposi-
tion I observed was individual or prevalent throughout society.
Finally, this book would not have been completed without my parents,
Joan and Charles Chito, and my sister, Sandra Chito, who have always pro-
vided me with support in many ways, financial, emotional, and, most of all,
the care of my two children; my late brother, Christopher, who always chal-
lenged me to think and believe that I can and will; and my children, Christo-
pher and Jada, who made me believe that challenging interracial borders is
not only important but also essential.
 Acknowledgments xi

Navigating Interracial Borders

xii Acknowledgments
 Introduction 1

Introduction
THE INTERRACIAL CANARY

,
As for you two and the problems you’re going to have, they seem
almost unimaginable. . . . I’m sure you know what you are up
against. There will be 100 million people right here in this coun-
try who will be shocked, offended, and appalled at the two of you.

T
he 1967 Academy Award–winning
movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner concluded with this warning from a
white father to his daughter and her “Negro” fiancé. That same year, the Su-
preme Court overturned any laws against interracial marriage as unconstitu-
tional. Yet how does the contemporary U.S. racial landscape compare? In this
ever-changing world of race and color, where do black-white couples fit, and
has this unimaginable opposition disappeared?
While significant changes have occurred in the realm of race relations
largely from the civil rights struggle of the 1960s, U.S. society still has ra-
cial borders. Most citizens live, work, and socialize with others of the same
race—as if living within borders, so to speak—even though there are no
longer legal barriers such as separate facilities or laws against intermarriage.
Yet if these largely separate racial worlds exist, what social world(s) do black-
white couples live in and how do they navigate these racial borders? Even
more important, how do white communities and black communities view and
respond to black-white couples? In other words, do they navigate the racial
borders by enforcing, ignoring, or actively trying to dismantle them? My goal
is to explore these issues to better understand the contemporary beliefs and
practices surrounding black-white couples. This book takes an ethnographic
look at interracial couples. Unlike most ethnographies, however, it is not geo-
graphically located but rather an exploration of the social worlds of interra-
cial couples. My data comes from varied sources, including Web sites,

1
 2 Navigating Interracial Borders

black-white couples, Hollywood films, white communities, and black

communities.
Black-white couples are often heralded as a sign that racial borders or
barriers no longer exist. For example, in Interracial Intimacies: Sex, Mar-
riage, Identity, and Adoption, Harvard law professor Randall Kennedy ar-
gues: “Americans are becoming increasingly multiracial in their tastes,
affections and identities. The rates of interracial dating, marriage and adop-
tion are inching, and in some places rocketing, upward. This trend is, in my
view, a positive good. It signals that formal and informal racial boundaries
are fading.”1 Furthermore, the idea that American society is “color-blind,”
or at least steadily moving in that direction, has become extremely popular
and widely heard. The notion that not acknowledging race or refusing to “see”
color is desirable has generated wide acceptance. In two major news maga-
zines, Time and Newsweek, there have been articles on “color-blind love” and
interracial couples, a phenomenon that has spread across the country.2
This color-blind discourse, or color-blindness, has been identified by
various scholars as the dominant ideology based on a belief that refusing
to see or acknowledge race is politically correct and humanistic.3 Color-
blindness is based on the belief that “if we were to make people aware of
racial differences, simply by noticing we would reintroduce the illusion of
race and thus inevitably polarize and divide, or perhaps even worse, stigma-
tize.” By not acknowledging race or racial difference, the problem of race
disappears—somewhat of a see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil mental-
ity.4 In her work on whiteness, Ruth Frankenberg identifies color-blindness
as “color-power evasiveness,” where race is viewed as increasingly less sig-
nificant, emphasizing the importance of the individual. The growing visibil-
ity of interracial couples is often cited as an example of how “color-blind”
society is, even in matters of the heart. Yet this color-blind ideology or color-
power evasiveness is problematic because it ignores, even disguises, the
power and privilege that still characterizes race relations in this country.5 Can
anyone—even interracial couples—really be color-blind in a “color-
conscious” society like ours?
Despite the color-blind discourse, there is also an emphasis on
multiculturalism—celebrating, or at least recognizing, the role race plays in
individuals’ lives as members of racial and ethnic groups. Interracial couples
are also seen as a symbol of this multicultural world and an example of how
race and racial difference can be recognized and celebrated. Frankenberg de-
fines this alternate discourse of race consciousness as an insistence on the
importance of recognizing race and difference, understood in historical, po-
 Introduction 3

litical, social, or cultural terms rather than essentialist ones. Unlike color-blind
ideologies, this way of thinking emphasizes the need to be race conscious.
Yet, these ambivalent and contradictory discourses on race tell us that race
is at once all and nothing, where the message is that “things” (race relations)
are getting better, yet the boundaries between black and white somehow
persist.
Nowhere is this complex intersection of racialized views more promi-
nent than with the issue of black-white unions. A 2003 Time magazine piece
on “Color-Blind Love” argues that individuals’ choices in partners is increas-
ingly becoming color-blind, but then details stories of racist white families,
black women picketing an interracial couple’s home, and a white woman who
married a black man but forbids her white daughter (from an earlier rela-
tionship) to date black boys.6 In the 2000 Newsweek article “Love without
Borders,” the author argues that “Americans are intermarrying like never be-
fore, and they’re reshaping life couple by couple.”7 The piece also reports as
a side note that one interethnic Asian couple “are spared the obvious stares
that white and black mixed couples sometimes face.”8 If love erases racial
borders and racial borders are eroding, then why are black-white couples ca-
pable of eliciting stares and still so uncommon?9 I argue that black-white in-
terracial couples, rather than being a sign of the breaking down of racial
borders, enable us to see how racial borders still exist. Society is stratified
by race, and black-white couples exist on this racial divide. Opposition to
black-white relationships still exists, yet like contemporary racism it is more
subtle and harder to see. Therefore, it is important to consider the various
discourses of color-blindness, race consciousness, and those in between that
are drawn upon by black and white communities, within media and popular
culture, and even by black-white couples themselves when discussing the
meaning and acceptance of interracial relationships.
Based on the low rates of black-white intermarriage and the obvious
differences between these unions and other interracial relationships, the is-
sue of black-white relationships and the views of whites and blacks on these
relationships needs to be studied separately from other racial combinations
of interracial couples.10 Opposition to relationships between blacks and whites
is still based on the belief that these unions violate one of the greatest ta-
boos.11 In the United States, the concept of race is not based simply on skin
color or ancestry; it also has social, political, and economic meanings and
consequences specific to different racial groups. The strong emotions, such
as fear and loathing and negative visual images, associated with blacks fuel
antiblack attitudes and contribute to the emotional opposition of most whites
 4 Navigating Interracial Borders

toward interracial relationships between blacks and whites.12 Many studies

have found that whites, especially, consider an interracial relationship involv-
ing a black person to be much less acceptable than one involving a Latino or
Asian person.13 This points to the fact that black-white intermarriages repre-
sent far greater racial transgressions than those between other ethnic and “ra-
cial” groups. These marriages may be small in number, but their significance
is socially and politically great, serving as an indicator of the state of rela-
tions between blacks and whites in society.
While all these issues are reasons why I believe this book and research
is important, my own story also brought me to this research. The social world
of black-white couples is the world I navigate. From my own experiences, I
have seen the ways most whites respond to an interracial relationship. Grow-
ing up white, second-generation Portuguese in a predominantly white Rhode
Island suburb, race never was an issue, or at least not one I heard about.14
After moving to Los Angeles during high school and beginning college, I
entered into a relationship with an African American man (who I eventually
married), never imagining what it would bring. My family did not disown
me or hurl racial slurs. Still, in many ways I learned what it meant to be an
“interracial couple” and how this was not what my family, community, or
countless unknown individuals had scripted for me. Not many whites ever
said outright that they were opposed to the relationship, yet their words and
actions signaled otherwise.
One of the most telling examples occurred a few years into our rela-
tionship. An issue arose when my oldest sister’s daughter wanted to attend
her prom with an African American schoolmate she was dating. My sister
and her husband refused to let him in the house the night of the prom or any
other time because, they said, he was “not right” for her. It was clear to ev-
eryone, however, that skin color was the problem. To this day, my niece will
tell you that her parents would never have accepted her with a black man.
Yet my sister and her family never expressed any opposition to my relation-
ship and even seemed supportive, in terms of inviting us over to their house,
giving wedding and holiday gifts, and so forth. Although my sister never
openly objected to my relationship, she drew the line with her daughter—
quite literally enforcing a racial boundary to protect her daughter and family
from blackness. For me, this personal story and the countless stories of other
interracial couples point to the necessity of examining societal attitudes, be-
liefs, images, and practices regarding race and, more specifically, black-white
relations. Interracial couples—because of their location on the line between
white and black—often witness or bring forth racialized responses from both
 Introduction 5

whites and blacks. As with my sister, opposition may exist yet is not visible
until a close family member or friend becomes involved or wants to become
involved interracially.
Looking at the social worlds of black-white couples allows the explo-
ration of many stories. The stories of interracial couples, the stories white
and black communities tell about interracial relationships, and the stories we
see in films about interracial couples can all be looked at collectively. They
share many parts although the individuals and their circumstances are much
different. What is similar are the surrounding images, discourses, and com-
munities’ responses. While I argue that there is no one type of individual who
dates and marries interracially, there are certain collective images and be-
liefs about interracial couples that exist, regardless of the individual charac-
teristics of the couple. This book is about those images and beliefs, or, in
other words, the societal responses and understandings of interracial
couples—assumptions, expectations, and perceived realities. It is not only
explicit opposition that is critiqued but also the surprise, confusion, and in-
ability of others to recognize or understand the relationship that contributes
to the marginalization of black-white couples, somewhere beyond the bor-
ders between black and white. The racial boundaries that persist become
clearer when we take a closer look at whites’ and blacks’ beliefs about who
belongs with whom or who is imagined as partners. I notice this process of-
ten. Most recently, I was at an academic conference where a well-known black
scholar was speaking, and he referred to his wife in the audience. After the
talk, a white scholar in the same field asked if the speaker’s wife was there.
I answered yes and pointed to her, a white woman sitting a few rows in front
of where we were standing. The white scholar appeared confused and said,
“Where is she?” looking directly at the back of the white woman I was point-
ing to. Again I pointed, this time saying, “The white woman with blond hair.”
He looked at me confused, “Really . . . hmm.” I did not interpret his expres-
sion and confusion as opposition. He just clearly had not expected, assumed,
or even imagined his black colleague would have a white wife.

Interracial Relationships as a Miner’s Canary

It is these community and societal responses, as well as the images and
beliefs produced and reproduced about these unions that provide the frame-
work within which to understand the issue of interracial couplings. Underly-
ing these responses and images is a racial ideology, or, in other words, a
dominant discourse, that posits interracial couples and relationships as deviant.
 6 Navigating Interracial Borders

Still, the significance of these discourses and what exactly they reveal about
race in society can be hard to see. For some of us the effects of race are all
too clear, while for others race—and the accompanying advantages and dis-
advantages—remain invisible. As a white woman, it was only through my
relationship, and raising my two children, that I came to see how race per-
meates everything in society. Being white yet now part of a multiracial fam-
ily, I experienced, heard, and even thought things much differently than
before, primarily because whites and blacks responded to me differently than
before.15 I think of the metaphor of the “miner’s canary”—the canaries min-
ers use to alert them to a poisonous atmosphere. In The Miner’s Canary: En-
listing Race, Resisting Power, Transforming Power, Lani Guinier and Gerald
Torres argue that the experiences of racial minorities, like the miner’s ca-
nary, can expose the underlying problems in society that ultimately affect ev-
eryone, not just minorities. In many ways, the experiences of black-white
couples are a miner’s canary, revealing problems of race that otherwise can
remain hidden, especially to whites. The issues surrounding interracial
couples—racialized/sexualized stereotypes, perceptions of difference, familial
opposition, lack of community acceptance—should not be looked at as indi-
vidual problems, but rather as a reflection of the larger racial issues that di-
vide the races. Since interracial couples exist on the color-line in society—a
“borderland” between white and black—their experiences and the ways com-
munities respond to these relationships can be used as a lens through which
we can understand contemporary race relations.16 Their experiences are a re-
flection of how individuals and groups in society respond to interracial
couples; through these responses, we see how the interracial couples’ rela-
tionships and everyday experiences are “racialized,” meaning that the rela-
tionship takes on or is given a racial meaning within the context of American
society.17 Therefore, these relationships need to be examined not only by look-
ing at the couples themselves but also by the ways that interracial couples
and their children are received and understood by their relatives, neighbors,
communities, and the larger society. In essence, the ways that interracial
couples are socially constructed within society mirrors the social construc-
tion of race and racial groups.

Studying Interracial Couples: Past, Present, and Future

Like race, interracial relationships between blacks and whites have been
given various meanings, symbolizing many things over the history of this
country. From an assimilationist perspective, interracial marriage has been
 Introduction 7

heralded as the way to erase racial difference and the ultimate step for a ra-
cial group in blending with the dominant white society. Yet, simultaneously,
black-white marriage has been viewed as the ultimate problem of race rela-
tions, a symbol of racial impurity among whites or an internalization of rac-
ism among blacks. Though there has been a small increase in black-white
marriages, the opposition to these relationships has not necessarily disap-
peared. No matter how black-white relationships are viewed, what is intrigu-
ing about them are the responses they bring forth from the white and black
communities. While the ability of two individuals of different races to love
each other (even in growing numbers) cannot change the social structure of
race in this country, the societal responses to these relationships—the images
produced, the discourses used, the meanings attached—does give us insight
into the social and political hierarchy of race. To understand the dominant
images and beliefs about black-white couplings and just how interracial
couples are socially constructed through group responses, theories of sym-
bolic interaction, social construction, and critical race theory are central. It
is only in a society where race is “a fundamental dimension of social orga-
nization and cultural meaning” that the idea of an interracial couple acquires
its social meaning.18
There is a significant body of literature that addresses the issue of in-
terracial marriage and relationships specifically, yet there is little research
on the ways interracial couples are socially constructed and the societal re-
sponses to interracial relationships. One of the major critiques of most exist-
ing research on interracial couplings is that they reify race and neglect to
examine it as a changing sociohistorical concept and construct. Put differ-
ently, much of the research is rooted in “essentialist” thinking about race,
thereby reproducing uncritical conceptions of interracial couples. When re-
searchers study interracial relationships without first acknowledging race and
racial groups as socially constructed and subject to conflict and change, they
reproduce the idea of racial difference as a real and natural phenomenon:
“discrete racial and ethnic groups are assumed to exist and engage in inter-
marriage.”19 Rather than challenging the racialized ways that groups in Ameri-
can society respond to these unions, researchers have tended to approach the
issue of interracial relationships as an isolated phenomenon that can be ex-
plained through a study of the couples themselves.
Much of the research relies on the assimilationist framework, using in-
termarriage as an indicator of assimilation of the minority group or a site of
comparison with same-race couples.20 This framework has a number of short-
comings, especially when discussing black-white interracial marriage: it tends
 8 Navigating Interracial Borders

to use an immigrant analogy for racial groups, reduces race to ethnicity, and
does not take into consideration the different ways racial groups are con-
structed and conceptualized within society.21 Also, in an assimilationist frame-
work that focuses on the couple, interracial marriage is seen as the final stage
of assimilation, a sign of improving race relations that masks the overwhelm-
ing opposition that may exist toward the couple.
Furthermore, a large number of the studies that look at interracial rela-
tionships objectify the couple by looking to explain or understand the rela-
tionship and the reasons for coming together rather than explain or understand
how (and why) interracial relationships are viewed and treated differently than
same-race unions within our society. Even the studies that do explore issues
involving interracial couples from a social constructionist perspective and
address societal responses lack any research on community or group attitudes
and beliefs. The research tends to be based simply on the experiences and
interpretations of the interracial couples without exploring the attitudes and
views of the couples’ communities. Traditionally, works within the social sci-
ences on interracial marriage have sought to identify the characteristics of
individuals in interracial relationships to account for the occurrence of inter-
racial marriage, or to compare these unions to same-race unions. Many of
the studies that directly address the issue of interracial couples have tended
to focus on the couple as a relatively isolated phenomenon, using either psy-
chological22 and/or sociological theories to explain how or why they came
together,23 or evaluating the characteristics of the couple, looking at their de-
mographic similarities and differences.24 These various works on interracial
couples all express or imply that interracial couples are inherently different
from same-race couples, therefore making it necessary to explain, account
for, and/or describe their relationships.25 By comparing interracial couples
to same-race couples, same-race couples are established as the standard or
the norm. It is only within a society such as America’s, which places such
emphasis on race and racial groups, that the idea of an interracial couple has
meaning. In particular, studying interracial couples for their motives, their
characteristics, or their similarity/difference to same-race couples comes out
of a belief or assumption that interracial couples are different.26 Also prob-
lematic are a number of recent works that offer qualitative accounts that pro-
mote a multicultural understanding of interracial relationships yet do not fully
analyze these relationships’ significance or critique societal responses.27
Interracial sex and marriage remains a hotly debated topic. A number
of recent works explore the larger implications of interracial relationships.
These studies take a variety of different approaches, such as Abby Ferber’s
 Introduction 9

White Man Falling: Race, Gender, and White Supremacy, which emphasizes
the connection between white supremacist discourse and the fear of interra-
cial sexuality, arguing that the white supremacist’s obsession with prevent-
ing interracial sexuality is based on mainstream white American views on
interracial relationships. Heather Dalmage’s Tripping on the Color-Line:
Black-White Multiracial Families in a Racially Divided World explores “the
ways in which multiracial family members’ identities, politics, and commu-
nities both shape and are shaped by the color line,” drawing from in-depth
interviews with interracial couples and families.28 Dalmage’s work takes the
focus off the couples and instead looks at the issue of interracial families
within a discussion of other issues such as census categories, transracial adop-
tion, and housing segregation. Three other works—Renee C. Romano’s Race
Mixing: Black-White Marriage in Postwar America, Rachel Moran’s Inter-
racial Intimacy: The Regulation of Race and Romance, and Randall
Kennedy’s Interracial Intimacies—provide extensive documentation of le-
gal, political, and social barriers to interracial marriage and parenting. Romano
documents the history of interracial relationships and uses the experiences
of interracial couples to show how far we have come as a society and how
far we still need to go. Both Kennedy and Moran also provide historical and
legal analyses of the issue of interracial intimacy, exploring how racial inti-
macy has shaped and in turn been affected by laws and customs in the United
States. While the works of Moran and Romano emphasize the opposition to
interracial relationships that still exists, Kennedy’s work takes a different ap-
proach, describing the use of race in choosing or accepting relationships as a
form of racial discrimination, and his work targets what he describes as state-
supported discouragements of interracial intimacy in marriage and parenting:
As I seek to persuade readers to eschew state-supported racial sepa-
ratism in its various manifestations, I also urge that we all embrace
a positive ideal: a cosmopolitan ethos that welcomes the prospect
of genuine, loving interracial intimacy. . . . The prominence of race
in our society does not mean that individuals must or should con-
tinue to use race as a factor in choosing their intimate affiliations.
We are free to restructure and improve the society we have inher-
ited, and we should do so. For now, one way to accomplish that is
to view racial discrimination of any sort, even in the most intimate
spheres of our lives, as a cause for concern, a matter worthy of worry,
something that requires careful justification.29

Kennedy’s focus is on illustrating how these attempts to prevent interracial

 10 Navigating Interracial Borders

marriage and parenting are problematic on a number of levels, arguing that

“against the tragic backdrop of American history, the flowering of multira-
cial intimacy is a profoundly moving and encouraging development.”30
While all of these studies have provided important perspectives on un-
derstanding interracial relationships, my study is different because it places
societal responses to interracial relationships at the center and seeks to un-
derstand the relationships through these societal responses and the voices of
both white and black communities. To look at the social worlds of black-
white couples, I draw from research within black and white communities,
cultural images, and interviews with couples themselves, which is signifi-
cantly different than previous studies. Any study of interracial couples needs
to begin with the framework that race is a social, cultural, and political con-
struction. Drawing from critical race theory, it is “human interaction rather
than natural differentiation [that] must be seen as the source and continued
basis for racial categorization.”31 Just as race is a social construction, inter-
racial couples, or rather the idea of couples being interracial (different from
the norm of same-race couples) are also a social construction.

The Social Construction of Interracial Couples

The idea of race has been produced and reproduced through the con-
struction of racial groups and social interaction, having real consequences in
beliefs and practices.32 As F. James Davis argues, “the black population in
the United States is a socially constructed category backed by law, not a
grouping established by physical anthropologists or biologists. Both the defi-
nition and the treatment of the group are based on publicly held beliefs about
race and racial mixing, not on scientific conclusions.” Therefore, the images
and meanings attached to black-white relationships are not simply produced
by the couples themselves but rather are constructed—socially, culturally, po-
litically—in the various realms of society and by the varying social groups.
The couples’ own understandings of their identities and relationships are un-
doubtedly shaped by the responses of others and the images of interracial
couples that exist. Therefore the couples’ experiences and narratives need to
be examined within the context of an analysis of community responses and
beliefs as well as the larger social structure and social institutions. The study
of interracial unions should not be reduced to a study of the individuals but
rather should focus on “the beliefs, tendencies and practices of the group taken
collectively.”33
In my research, interracial relationships are significant—culturally, so-
 Introduction 11

cially, and politically—not because of the characteristics of the individual

couples, but rather because of the larger sociopolitical meaning that these cou-
plings have for the white and black cultural communities within which they
occur. As Omi and Winant argue, our images and ideas about race, and in
this case interracial couples, “testify to the way a racialized social structure
shapes racial experience and conditions meaning.” Though interracial rela-
tionships and marriage have traditionally been seen as an important measure
of group assimilation and evidence of progress toward a multicultural soci-
ety, black-white couples (or even the possibility of a relationship) can often
invoke racialized retreats into separate black and white spaces. I use the term
interracial borders because within the social worlds of interracial couples
borders certainly exist—borders between black and white and between race
and sexuality. Throughout this work, I also add stories of my own border
crossing—as part of an interracial family and as a researcher traveling the
racial landscape of black-white couples, white communities, and black com-
munities.

Studying the Social Worlds of Interracial Couples

This book is about interracial relationships—the experiences of black-
white couples, the attitudes and beliefs of white and black communities, and
popular culture and media depictions. It is a story about the images and dis-
courses that have been constructed about interracial relationships and how
these images and discourses contribute to the construction and maintenance
of racial borders. I approach the study of black-white couplings, understand-
ing these interracial unions as socially constructed through not only the
couples’ experiences but also the larger society—family, neighborhoods, com-
munities, churches, schools, workplace, and other social institutions. This will
not be a nationwide representative study of attitudes, beliefs, or occurrences
that can be generalized. That is neither feasible nor desirable. Rather, this
book provides an ethnographic look at the social worlds of interracial couples
through in-depth interviews, focus groups, film analysis, media examples,
and Internet research, as well as some use of census and survey data where
needed.34 The goal is to illustrate the cultural and collective stories that are
told by and about interracial couples.35 Using the critical race theory strat-
egy of storytelling as a methodological tool, the stories of interracial couples,
and of white and black communities, as told by individuals, the media, film-
makers, and the Internet are understood not as singular accounts or examples,
but as “social events that instruct us about social processes, social structures,
 12 Navigating Interracial Borders

and social situations.”36 Narrative in this context is important, since I will

pay particular attention to the words used to discuss, describe, and explain
interracial relationships and how those words compare to the choices the nar-
rators have made in their lives. For instance, what does it mean when a white
person says she is completely supportive of others marrying interracially, even
though she never would because she has nothing in common with black
people. Would you say that individual is supportive, negative, or somewhere
in between?
Analyzing such statements is an integral part of my research. Discur-
sive strategies are important because they are used to construct attitudes and
experiences in very particular ways. As critical race theorists argue, “our so-
cial world, with its rules, practices and assignments of prestige and power,
is not fixed; rather, we construct it with words, stories and silence.”37 In this
research, it is noteworthy not only what the respondents say but also how
they say it and what they leave out. When studying the issues of race, it is
essential to critically examine what people say, particularly since the ways
individuals respond to interracial couples may have changed, with opposi-
tion becoming more subtle and coded within a “color-blind discourse.” As
Eduardo Bonilla-Silva argues, “the language of color blindness is slippery,
apparently contradictory, and often subtle. . . . the rhetorical maze of confus-
ing, ambivalent answers to straight questions; of answers speckled with dis-
claimers such as ‘I don’t know, but . . . ’ or ‘Yes and no.’”38 The discourse
that an individual or group employs can be studied to reveal the meanings
attached to the issue being discussed. Michel Foucault argues it is necessary
to question what is the meaning or significance of the discourse against sexu-
ality—in this case, interracial sexuality—“what reciprocal effects of power
and knowledge they ensure . . . and what conjunction and what force rela-
tionships make their utilization necessary.”39 In other words, if interracial
sexuality is constructed as deviant, or viewed as undesirable, it is important
to consider why, what purpose it serves, and whom it benefits.

Life on the Border: Narratives of Black-White Couples

From 1999 to 2001, I interviewed fifteen black-white heterosexual
couples who were referred to me through personal and professional contacts,
and some of whom I encountered randomly in public.40 They ranged in age
from twenty to sixty-nine and all were in committed relationships of two to
twenty-five years. Nine were married. The couples’ education levels varied.
All respondents had finished high school or its equivalent; twenty-one re-
 Introduction 13

spondents had attended some college and/or had received a bachelor’s de-
gree; and four respondents had advanced degrees. The socioeconomic status
of the couples ranged from working class to upper middle class. The respon-
dents included a college student, waitress, manager, factory worker, univer-
sity professor, social worker, salesperson, and postal worker. All couples lived
in the northeastern United States, from Maine to Pennsylvania, yet many of
the couples had traveled extensively and had lived in other parts of the coun-
try, including California, Florida, and the South.
I interviewed the couples together, since I was interested in their ex-
periences, accounts, narratives, and the ways they construct their lives and
create their “selves” and their identities as “interracial couples.”41 The inter-
views lasted for two to three hours, and I ended up with more than forty hours
of interview data.42 As mentioned earlier, I analyzed the couples’ narratives
for indications of larger social processes, since the narratives reveal “the so-
cial world” the narrator shares with others.43 These accounts are seen not only
as “descriptions, opinions, images, or attitudes about race relations but also
as ‘systems of knowledge’ and ‘systems of values’ in their own right, used
for the discovery and organization of reality.”44

The Separate Worlds of Whites and Blacks

To explore the larger cultural and sociopolitical meanings that black-
white couplings have for both the white and black communities in which they
occur, a significant portion of this work is based on original qualitative re-
search in white communities and black communities about their ideas, be-
liefs, and views on interracial sexuality and marriage. Community research
was conducted to further explore the responses to interracial couples that are
found in social groups and communities—family, friends, neighbors, religious
groups, schools, etc.45 The ways that these couples provide the occasion for
groups to express and play out their ideas and prejudices about race and sex
are integral to understanding the social construction of interracial couples.
There were numerous social realms, such as the workplace, recreation cen-
ters, and neighborhoods, where this research could have been conducted, but
I chose churches and universities as community sites because the black-white
couples interviewed all had very strong views and often significant experi-
ences in these two social institutions.46 In particular, the couples indicated
that certain churches were more or less accepting of interracial couples based
on their own experiences or beliefs, yet the couple’s beliefs were often in
direct contrast to each other. Similarly, the couples all discussed their college
 14 Navigating Interracial Borders

campus and/or college experience as one that either encouraged or discour-

aged interracial dating. Using grounded theory, I draw from the black-white
couples’ narratives and experiences to conduct community research that can
be analyzed in context with these couples’ responses.
Based on these views and experiences, I selected three different de-
nominations of churches that couples either attended or avoided: a predomi-
nantly white Catholic church, a predominantly black Baptist church, and a
racially diverse Unitarian Universalist church. All the churches were middle-
to upper-middle class and located in the Northeast.47 Three different univer-
sities were selected that reflected the couples’ experiences, including an elite
Ivy League university, a private university, and a state university.48 The idea
was to choose churches and student groups on the college campuses that iden-
tified or could be classified as white or black, in order to explore the atti-
tudes and beliefs in the context of a racial community. Church communities,
like the neighborhoods they draw from, are often racially segregated. Col-
lege campuses, even if they have a racially diverse student population, are
also often racially divided. The only exception was the Unitarian Universal-
ist church; yet even in its diversity of people and views, it still reinforced
the ideas that were heard among the white and black groups.
I used similar research methodology at the churches and the universi-
ties. At the churches, I conducted an initial interview with the priest, minis-
ter, or reverend, and then I arranged group meetings with parishioners. At
the universities, I conducted an initial interview with an administrator (or ad-
ministrators) familiar with issues of race relations and student life, and then
I scheduled meetings with a predominantly black and a predominantly white
student organization on campus. In the interviews with the church officials
and university administrators, I asked them about race relations in their in-
stitutions, their perceptions on the issue of interracial unions and student/
church member experiences, as well as any other relevant incidents that may
have occurred. Since the goal was to explore community responses rather
than individual beliefs, I conducted focus-group interviews with the church
members and student groups. “A focus group allows the researcher to col-
lect data in a social context, where participants share their views in the con-
text of others’ views.”49 At the churches, the focus groups were conducted
at a weekly or monthly meeting of church members, and at the universities,
the focus groups were conducted at the student organizations’ weekly meet-
ings. In all focus groups, I asked the respondents to discuss their views on
race relations in general and their views and perceptions of interracial dat-
ing and marriage. The focus groups at the churches and universities consisted
 Introduction 15

of both men and women, averaging eighteen to twenty people for the church
groups and fifteen to thirty people for the university student groups. For these
focus groups, emphasis was placed on their perceptions of group and soci-
etal views, though many participants also offered personal perspectives and
experiences. I also visited the churches and universities on at least three sepa-
rate occasions before and after the focus groups.

Imagining the Social World:

Media and Popular Culture Depiction
Since the couples’ experiences and the communities’ views are undoubt-
edly shaped by the ideas, images, and beliefs that exist within contemporary
discourse and culture, I also integrate a discussion and critical analysis of
media, popular culture (focusing on mainstream American film), and Web
sites.50 Popular culture images and depictions are particularly important be-
cause community responses are not individual; rather, they are often based
in these larger images and discourses that exist in society.51 “Media culture
also provides the materials out of which any people construct their sense of
class, of ethnicity and race, of nationality, of sexuality, of ‘us’ and ‘them.’”52
Using content analysis—like the transcript of an interview—I read and re-
viewed language and images in print or on Web sites for content and mean-
ing as “social products in their own right, as well as what they claim to
represent.”53
I integrate the discussion of mainstream films that contain depictions
or storylines with black-white couples throughout the chapters. Given the mul-
tilayered dynamics operating in most films (Web sites) and the varied social
locations of the viewers, there are multiple readings on any given text: people
invest very different meanings in the images they see.54 While it is impos-
sible to know how the varied audience “sees” or receives the film, there is a
dominant ideology or “dominant gaze” that is produced; in other words, there
is a “subtle (or not so subtle) invitation to the viewer to empathize and iden-
tify with its viewpoint as natural, universal, and beyond challenge.”55 In par-
ticular, I explore the role of these mediums in the production and reproduction
of certain ideas and discourses about interracial unions. I also discuss the rela-
tive lack of depictions of interracial couples, as well as the dominant images
that tend to reproduce the idea of interracial couples as deviant. Drawing on
recent works within the realm of cultural studies and film theory,56 the im-
ages of black-white couples in the selected films are discussed and under-
stood through the concept of the “gaze.” The idea of a “dominant gaze” is
 16 Navigating Interracial Borders

used to show how American popular film has a tendency to replicate through
narrative and imagery the racial inequalities and biases that exist in society.57
In this work, I use the concept of the “dominant gaze” to understand the way
interracial relations are made to be marginal and deviant within an intraracial
perspective or worldview that seeks to bolster its own legitimacy. Through
the racial images that are created—positive or negative, real or imagined—
there is a “power to define difference, to reinforce boundaries, and to repro-
duce an ideology that maintains a certain status quo.”58
I argue that the infrequent yet growing interest in portraying interra-
cial intimacy does not signal acceptance; rather, mainstream film (even in
the depictions of black-white couples) and Web sites still reveal a social struc-
ture that privileges intraracial unions. The images in these films socially con-
struct interracial couples as deviant, and these films provide certain ways of
thinking about or understanding interracial relationships that serve to repro-
duce racial boundaries, even when attempting to challenge the existing ra-
cial hierarchy. By looking at film depictions and Internet sites of black-white
couples, with the responses of black and white community members and the
experiences of interracial couples, I argue that certain images and ideas about
black-white couples exist and are expressed or articulated not only in film
but also by whites and blacks in society. These images and depictions of
black-white couples reveal the underlying beliefs about interracial unions that
are prevalent within both white and black communities—and are understood
as not only a reflection of dominant beliefs but also a powerful influence on
what people believe.59
Drawing from this varied research data, I integrate the common threads
to talk about the social worlds of black-white couples and, more important,
collective societal responses. I draw from different sources, including me-
dia, to show that certain patterns exist in the experiences, words, and actions
of interracial relationships. At many points in the book, I offer critical analysis
of the research, pointing out what is “culturally problematic” about partici-
pants’ stories and what may produce narrative difficulties, complexities, or
inconsistencies.60 Identifying these inconsistencies or complexities is impor-
tant not just for validity but also to place the couples’ experiences within the
larger contextual framework of society.61 The process of analysis and inter-
pretation can be difficult, especially when interviewees discuss an event or
conversation that is explicitly racial yet do not identify it in racial terms. A
number of researchers have grappled with these types of contradictions by
contrasting the participant’s statement or interpretation against the actual
words used or actions taken, to illustrate that what the respondent reports may
 Introduction 17

not reflect or be consistent with what they do or experience.62 “Relying mainly

on words or actors’ narratives, for example, can clarify a perspective on the
lifeworld, but unless a context is clearly articulated, the definition of the situ-
ation may be lost.”63 The shared rather than individual reconstructions of ex-
periences and interpretations of social reality provide a connection to the
larger structural component of race relations and, more specifically in this
case, interracial unions.64 By emphasizing the discourses used and the prac-
tices described by the interviewees, I identify shared interpretations and pat-
terns. While this research is qualitative and not generalizable to all interracial
couples and communities, the experiences and narratives discussed here raise
issues that allow the impact of racial discourses, racialized images, and the
lingering racism of contemporary society to be examined. While the couples’
experiences are used as a framework to begin the discussion, the responses
of society—in the form of families, communities, and media—are most rel-
evant to understanding the issue of black-white relationships and why these
unions are still perceived in certain ways. Therefore, the experiences of black-
white couples and the ways they discuss these experiences and the responses
of others will be explored for the meanings interracial relationships have for
the communities in which they occur.

The Plan of the Book

In chapter 1 I look at the ways black-white couples navigate racial bor-
ders, through a discussion of their perceptions of their own identities, their
relationships, and the larger societal responses. I also lay the framework for
the argument that opposition to black-white relationships still exists, yet it
often takes keen eyes and ears to detect it. In chapters 2 and 3, I explore the
collective views of racial communities and the ways whites and blacks re-
spond to black-white unions. Drawing from focus-group interviews with white
and black church communities, popular culture images, and couples’ experi-
ences, I emphasize the relevance of the ways whites and blacks discuss their
views on interracial couples in relation to their lifestyles and practices. Draw-
ing on the symbolic interactionist tradition, certain meanings are attached to
interracial couplings that are not intrinsic but arise from how the individual
or group acts toward the interracial couple.65 In chapters 4 and 5, I explore
the experiences of black-white couples and the societal responses of white
and blacks in two distinct social institutions: the family and the college cam-
pus. In chapter 6, I explore the dominant images and discourses about inter-
racial couples on the Internet. I identify the three main categories of Web
 18 Navigating Interracial Borders

sites that feature images or discussion of interracial couples and discuss their
significance, meaning, and relevance to societal views. In the conclusion, I
briefly summarize the main arguments of this book—that racial borders ex-
ist and that when crossed by interracial couples certain responses are elic-
ited—and provide some thoughts about the future of research in this area.
Throughout each chapter, I attempt to connect these various elements to il-
lustrate how interracial unions have social and political implications that can
be studied from the individual experiences of couples through the commu-
nity responses and beliefs about these unions.
 CHAPTER
Loving Across 1
the Border 19

Loving across
the Border
THROUGH THE LENS OF
BLACK-WHITE COUPLES

A black person and a white person

coming together has been given many names—miscegenation, amalgamation,
race mixing, and jungle fever—conjuring up multiple images of sex, race,
and taboo. Black-white relationships and marriages have long been viewed
as a sign of improving race relations and assimilation, yet these unions have
also been met with opposition from both white and black communities. Over-
all, there is an inherent assumption that interracial couples are somehow dif-
ferent from same-race couples. Within the United States, the responses to
black-white couplings have ranged from disgust to curiosity to endorsement,
with the couples being portrayed as many things—among them, deviant, un-
natural, pathological, exotic, but always sexual. Even the way that couples
are labeled or defined as “interracial” tells us something about societal ex-
pectations. We name what is different. For example, a male couple is more
likely to be called a “gay couple” than a gender-mixed couple is to be called
a “heterosexual couple.”
Encompassed by the history of race relations and existing interracial
images, how do black-white couples view themselves, their relationships, and
the responses of their families and communities? And how do they interpret
these familial and community responses? Black-white couples, like all of us,
make meaning out of their experiences in the available interpretive frame-
works and often inescapable rules of race relations in this country.1 Individuals
have the ability to construct multiple identities and views, yet we still operate

19
 20 Navigating Interracial Borders

within social groups and a social structure that provide available “scripts” to
follow.2
Though the fifteen couples I interviewed for this study varied in many
aspects—education, income, religion, geographical location—there were simi-
larities in the discussions of their experiences.3 Despite these similarities, the
couples’ narratives were often divided between those couples who minimized
the racial aspects of their identities, their experiences, and others’ responses,
and those couples who emphasized race and the role it played in their expe-
riences and the ways others treated them. The different discursive strategies
that the couples used mirror the competing discourses of color-blindness and
race consciousness that are found in society. Using this framework of com-
peting discursive strategies, I will explore the couples’ experiences and the
ways in which they describe them.

Black, White, and Interracial

The framework of this study is based on the concept of looking at how
groups in society construct certain ideas about black and white individuals
who come together, in essence creating “interracial couples” since only in a
society that invests meaning in race is the term (or practice) even significant.4
I gave couples an opportunity to define who they are and how they see them-
selves by beginning each interview with questions about identity, being that
racial identity is central to the construction of interracial couples (without
the use of race as an identity we would not have “interracial” couples). Cer-
tain patterns emerged in the individuals’ identification choices and in the way
they discussed their experiences. Racial identity is a complex issue within
society, and not surprisingly those in interracial relationships often struggle
with their racial identity. The ways couples articulated their racial identities
differed. They either emphasized or deemphasized their racial identity and
continued to do so while discussing their relationships and societal responses.
Among the black partners, ten individuals clearly stated that they were
black or African American. They emphasized that their racial identity, affili-
ation, and “blackness” was integral to how they saw themselves and how others
viewed them. Lee, a thirty-three-year-old retail salesperson living in Massachu-
setts with his white partner, Jill, a twenty-eight-year-old office manager, and
their three-year-old daughter, India, described his identity in a typical way:
LEE: I just call myself black. I’m just a black man. That’s it. And I
am a black man before anything else. Before my relationship I was
a black man and by myself I still get treated the same way.
 Loving Across the Border 21

Lee described his racial identity as something that is always there and ines-
capable. The way others treat him is based on his race, according to his
statements.
In contrast, the five other black individuals (Victor, David, Frank,
Sharon, and Nancy) were more ambivalent, acknowledging that they were
black but that they preferred not to think in racial terms. For example, Sharon,
a forty-seven-year-old office worker married to Kevin, a forty-nine-year-old
musician, identified herself as “African American” but added that she often
replies that she is simply part of the “human race.” Similarly, Victor, a thirty-
five-year-old middle school teacher (married to Lisa, a thirty-three-year-old
middle school teacher) identified as “obviously black but (I’m) human not a
color.” To further illustrate how he thinks about his racial identity, his re-
marks on growing up in the South and being one of the first black kids to
integrate previously white establishments such as grade school and Boy
Scouts, are noteworthy:
VICTOR: I can remember being one of the first black kids to integrate.
I always found myself . . . even the school I teach in today, I’m the
only black teacher. I have to admit I like being the only one, or the
first one [black person]. But I always got treated well . . . however,
I have seen the ugly side, like being yelled at by white adults as a
child, that I didn’t belong at the school with the white kids . . . but
my mom refused to let it bother us, she always said you are no bet-
ter than white people, you are no worse than they are, you are all
people. . . . I can remember going to school with white kids and
thinking they’re just like me. You know, they don’t like homework,
they’re afraid of this, they like to dance, they like to party, they
swear . . . I always made friends. Well, I always felt like I didn’t want
to be treated like a color and I’m not going to let them think of them-
selves as a color. We’re people. You’re human, I’m human . . . I
refuse to look at color. I want to see your character. I want to see
your integrity. I don’t care what color you are.

Through Victor’s narrative, the way he negotiates his social environment re-
flects how he conceptualizes his (and others’) identity. In the face of obvi-
ously overwhelming prejudice as a child integrating white places where the
whites did not want him, he downplayed the role of race. So, when he went
to school with white kids, he focused on his realization that the white kids
were the same as him. In his narrative, he discussed these issues as an indi-
vidual who has control over how he is viewed and how he views others. Victor
 22 Navigating Interracial Borders

deemphasized his membership in a racial group that others effectively use

to categorize and exclude him. He stated that he enjoys being the only black
teacher in his school and does not see this as a lack of diversity or as a re-
flection of the inequality between blacks and whites.
Among the white partners, all fifteen reported little or no attachment
to their racial identity, either stating that race was not meaningful or did not
play a significant role in how they thought of themselves. Kim, a fifty-five-
year-old nurse who lives in Boston and is married to Stanley, a sixty-three-
year-old anesthesiologist, gave a typical response: “I am quote/unquote white
[gesturing quotation marks with her fingers] . . . but I’m just a happy
person . . . it’s hard for me to think about race since it just isn’t my reality.”
For some of the white partners, their ethnic identities played a more salient
role in defining who they are, acknowledging they are white but also identi-
fying with their ethnicity. For example, Jill identified herself as “a white Irish
woman but I wouldn’t say I describe myself as white . . . I like to be around
different people . . . I have very diverse beliefs.”
These responses can be understood in a number of ways: “white privi-
lege” allows whites to ignore their own racial identifications; whiteness is
believed to be a nonracialized standard. Yet ignoring race can also be due to
people’s relationships and memberships in an interracial family. Many times
their attachment to their racial or ethnic heritage has lessened, especially when
there is a heightened awareness of the existence of racism and inequality per-
petuated by whites on blacks. Bill, a white high-school teacher in his fifties,
discussed this issue in relation to his wife, Gwen, a college professor in her
forties:

BILL: Gwen answered [about] her sense . . . having a very strong

sense of herself as a black woman . . . my experience was different
being a white man. My sense of my own racial identity, obviously,
is very low on my threshold. Usually for white people they don’t
think about race and I think that being in an interracial relationship
and marriage that I have become more aware of my whiteness . . .
especially aware of the fact that I’m white . . . I’m sensitive to the
fact that I’m a white male.

Five of the white partners distanced themselves from their “whiteness”

because of how white racism and prejudice has negatively impacted their
black partner and community. Consider the way Kevin discussed his racial
identity or “whiteness”:
 Loving Across the Border 23

KEVIN: I am white, and I realize all bad behavior is not necessarily

white, you know all whites aren’t racist . . . yet it is difficult, I actu-
ally had sort of an identity crisis . . . hung out with all black guys, I
was the only white, [others] even said I acted black . . . and many
blacks feel so comfortable around me, you know they talk about
whites but say, “not you, you’re not white.”

Through these white individuals’ comments regarding their racial identity or

racial consciousness, one can see how negotiating a white racial identity is
difficult and seems to be even more complex when one is involved in an in-
terracial relationship. Responses range from denying that “being” white is a
salient piece of their identity, to expressing difficulty with understanding
whiteness or race, to struggling with being white yet feeling more comfort-
able with blacks, or the transformation in recognizing their whiteness as a
result of the relationship. In Tripping on the Color Line, Heather Dalmage
argues that the articulations of identity for white individuals in interracial rela-
tionships may shift but still are trapped in essentialist thinking: for example,
some whites become aware of the discrimination faced by African Americans
through their relationships and therefore try to distance themselves from white-
ness, viewing all whites as “bad” and all blacks as “good.” One of the main
critical arguments Dalmage makes involves the language that we have to talk
about race, a language that leaves little room for renaming our racial identities.
The way the black partner identified racially seemed to influence not
only the way the white partner conceptualized race and interracial relations
but also the way the couple discussed their relationship. For example, Frank,
a black fifty-five-year-old retired police officer adopted a color-blind approach
to race and raising their two children, which his wife, Olivia, a forty-eight-
year-old office manager follows.
FRANK: Well, we’re all human beings and that’s what I tell my
sons . . . we breathe air and we bleed. You demonstrate everything
else to your ability, to achieve.

OLIVIA: . . . and if he had been very strong in wanting them to have

a more traditionally black upbringing, I would have been support-
ive of that. . . . every single application I have ever filled out . . . has
always been “Other” [for son’s racial identity] . . . I’m going to raise
them as human beings.

Similarly, Gwen’s strong sense of racial identity and commitment to racial

issues is articulated by Bill:
 24 Navigating Interracial Borders

GWEN: I’m a black woman who happens to be married to a white

male. I identify as a black woman. I think it’s important that I have
a racial identity. It’s important for my son that he knows what my
racial identity is.

BILL: . . . so what we attempt to do is to expose [our son] as much

to black experience and culture as possible, whenever there’s some
event or something going on in town or anywhere. There was an
African . . . not African dance troupe, but a dance troupe from Harlem
that was up . . . and we took [him] there.

Kim, who stated she has trouble even thinking about race, especially in terms
of her own racial identity, has always supported and followed Stanley’s race-
conscious approach to their relationship and raising their son, which includes
living in a predominantly black neighborhood and sending their son to ra-
cially diverse schools and social gatherings.
Naming one’s racial and/or ethnic identity is part of a process of group
identification and reflects the way the individuals think about the self: “racial
and ethnic labels are rooted in historical eras and the prevailing self-definitions
and self-images of groups.”5 As we move into the couples’ narratives on their
relationship, the ways that individuals define themselves racially or ethni-
cally plays a role in how they perceive their relationship and the responses
of others.

Becoming Interracial
How these individuals became involved interracially if black-white re-
lationships are not the norm is an important piece of this complex issue to
explore. Those who get involved interracially form a relationship across ex-
isting racial borders and often encounter obstacles. The couples in this study
met in various ways, such as at college, at work, or through acquaintances
and community networks.6 Often this meant that one of the individuals was
already hanging out in a different racial environment. For example, David,
who is black, had mostly white friends when he met Sandra at college, and
Jill, a white woman, met Lee at a predominantly black dance club. While no
couple explicitly stated that being of different races motivated their decision
to become involved, the couples did discuss different views they had enter-
ing into their relationship, which was often influenced by their exposure while
growing up to other cultures and whether or not they had previous interra-
cial relationships. In general, the black partners were more aware of the po-
 Loving Across the Border 25

tential problems of being in an interracial relationship. The responses varied from

those who felt that entering into the relationship would be a challenge to those
who did not even consider it an issue personally or from a societal perspective.
Some couples discussed their initial decision to date in color-blind
terms, describing race as unimportant and not a potential source of differ-
ence or problems, as illustrated in Sharon and Kevin’s discussion.
SHARON: Being involved with a white man wasn’t a big deal to me . . .
I grew up in a mostly white school . . . and basically men are men.
I’ve dated black, whites, Hispanics.

KEVIN: For me, it’s more about character than color . . . never really
thought about race . . . I mean the first girl I kissed was black.

For Sharon and Kevin, becoming involved interracially was not a concern
because their earliest dating experiences were interracial. Another example
is Jennifer, a white twenty-year-old college senior, and her twenty-year-old
boyfriend, Lance, who have been dating for two years. They describe how
they did not consider any issues of race before entering into their relation-
ship.
JENNIFER: I mean, I dated [interracially] in high school. Most of the
guys I am attracted to have been black, so it wasn’t an issue for
me . . . it’s the weirdest thing. When I see him I just see Lance. Like
I don’t say think of him as a black man, like I don’t notice.

LANCE: You know, I didn’t have a problem with [dating a white

woman] so when I met her I really didn’t consider it. For me it’s
not an issue, but me, I’m not really concerned with what others think.

The complex ways that race is negotiated is evident within Jennifer’s state-
ment that she is primarily attracted to black men, yet she does not “see race.”
Also, she and Lance, later in the interview, clearly discussed the problems
they have with family, friends, and other places in racial terms, though she
deemphasized the role of race when discussing her own views or reasons for
entering into the relationship. While both couples argue that racial difference
did not present a problem for them in their decision to date, they are less
clear on whether they were attracted, at least initially, to each other because
they were of different races.
Two other partners, Frank and Victor also discussed their decision to
date white women in color-blind terms. Frank described his dating choices
in the following way:
 26 Navigating Interracial Borders

FRANK: I’ve always dated interracial . . . they were just females. If I

like you, I mean you can say yes or you can say no—no problem . . .
it was not that I had to date one particular race, because I don’t un-
derstand that concept. Human being . . . I like you . . . a lot of black
women I wouldn’t actually date if my life depended on it.

Victor has also primarily only dated white women, and both of his marriages
have been to white women, but he stated race has never played a role in his
choice of a romantic partner.

VICTOR: I truly feel that if I had met . . . I don’t think it would have
mattered what nationality or what ethnic background the woman was,
if we had connected and connected on inter-laterial and spiritual and
mental levels, that would have been a match . . . but, let’s face it, if
I really wanted to marry a black woman, I would. I could have gone
out of my way . . . I could have gone there and done that, but that
wasn’t my priority. You know my priority is more . . . love, but you
know love has no color so then there’s the intellect and the spiritual
and then there’s a belief system about how I deal with the world.
That’s what important to me.

Victor’s response is often incoherent and contradictory. He discussed his

thoughts about entering into an interracial relationship by stating that race
does not matter; what matters is how he “connects” with the woman. He ex-
plained that finding a black woman was not “his priority” without saying that
finding a white woman was. While he denies that he prefers white women,
he also implies that he did not want to be with a black woman. Victor
downplayed the issue of race and maintained that love is color-blind, em-
phasizing the importance of individual and personal characteristics.
The role that race played in these couples coming together cannot be
determined, yet other studies have offered “racial motivation” theories about
black-white couples such as rebellion, guilt, low self-esteem, and self-hatred.
Whites are viewed as motivated by curiosity, racialized sexual attraction, or
other reasons such as rebellion, rejection, or neurosis.7 The choice of blacks,
especially black men, to date and marry only interracially has often been at-
tributed to a self-internalization of racism.8 As Frantz Fanon argued, blacks
who become involved with whites seek to “whiten the race, save the race,
but not in the sense that one might think: not ‘preserve the uniqueness . . . in
which they grew up,’ but make sure that it will be white.”9 In the narratives
of some of the couples, statements were made that could be read in terms of
 Loving Across the Border 27

racial motivation, such as Victor’s statements describing himself as being ex-

clusively attracted to white women because they treat him better,10 or Kayla’s
description of having an intense physical attraction to black men.11 Yet the
purpose of this study is not to draw conclusions about why the couples came
together;12 rather, the ways these individuals/couples describe their decisions
to become involved interracially is acknowledged and highlighted to empha-
size how color-blindness permeates couples’ narratives, even when they are
specifically identifying a racial preference in dating.
On the other end of the spectrum, some of the partners—especially
those who had never been involved interracially before—acknowledged that
they had thought about the implications of being interracially involved and
the ways that race (or at least others’ views on race) could impact their rela-
tionships. White partners, like Kayla, a twenty-eight-year-old supervisor, and
Sara, a twenty-one-year-old college senior, discussed that they had some hesi-
tation about the relationship at first for a number of reasons—in particular,
the expectation that their family and others in society might have a problem
if they got involved interracially.

KAYLA: I did think about it [race] . . . I did because I actually . . . I

had to explain it to my parents . . . more like what will everyone
say . . . I got the feeling at the time that I’m really attracted to black
men a lot more . . . I think their skin is beautiful and I envy it, and I
just think they are beautiful . . . I’ve always been into their culture—
Adidas, hip-hop urban wear, the music.

SARA: I thought about it . . . I knew presenting myself and my rela-

tionship with Andre was going to be . . . I knew it was going to be a
challenge with my family. . . . well, I remember saying this when I
was little—well you can’t stop me if I come home with someone
who’s black. . . . but I knew that I never wanted to be like [my fa-
ther, who uses racial slurs] and I wanted to understand why he was
like that.

Both white women’s comments come from the knowledge that their relation-
ships could be a problem for their family or friends. Sara credits her strong
beliefs about accepting all people as the reason she didn’t let the potential
opposition of others deter her. Kayla describes her reasons for choosing to
enter an interracial relationship despite potential opposition as based in her
preference for black men and attraction to hip-hop culture, which she nar-
rowly defines as black culture.
 28 Navigating Interracial Borders

Black men like Chris, a twenty-eight-year-old business executive who

is married to Victoria, a twenty-eight-year-old social worker, and Mark, a
thirty-two-year-old construction worker who lives with Brittney, a twenty-
six-year-old waitress, didn’t have any hesitation on entering into an interra-
cial relationship, but they did describe their views on how race mattered to
them when they met. Neither man had ever been in a relationship with a white
woman before, and they discussed their initial views, emphasizing the sig-
nificance of race.

MARK: I never have [been with a white woman]. The reason being
because, really, I mean, there wasn’t a lot of white women around
me . . . it’s like when I was in high school, okay, we saw other white
women . . . we didn’t even bother. It was just like you knew. It was
something that was already preprogrammed. You already knew—
don’t talk to them. They ain’t talking to you. Don’t waste your
time . . . when my sister had me come down to meet Brittney, I didn’t
know she was white.

CHRIS: She was the first white girl that I got involved with . . . I mean
I had talked to white girls, “Hey, what’s up!” But not relationships . . .
and I think when I met her I didn’t really think about what it meant
because we were in college and I wasn’t thinking long term, but then
I guess she was different.

Chris and Mark both discussed similar experiences of never thinking that dat-
ing interracially was a possibility, even though they had distinctly different
backgrounds. Chris grew up in what he described as a racially mixed upper-
middle-class suburb and Mark grew up in what he described as a predomi-
nantly black lower-income urban area.
Gwen also discussed her difficulty as a black woman deciding to be-
come involved with Bill, yet she described it as much different than a previ-
ous relationship with a white guy during college.

GWEN: Bill wasn’t the first person I had dated, I had dated a [white]
guy when I was in graduate school for about three or four
years . . . but in that relationship had difficulty. I don’t even think I
ever admitted to anyone that we were actually dating . . . I mean there
were people who suspected it. I never told them we were dating. . . . I
had always said I would never date someone who’s white. Never,
ever, and I thought that to do that, it was betraying your race . . . that
 Loving Across the Border 29

I could never love someone who was from a different racial back-
ground because they wouldn’t understand me, my culture. . . . I was
always self-conscious about doing things with him, and I think it
was because I hadn’t come to terms with our relationship, but I
wasn’t so sure he didn’t see me as a novelty. He had never dated
anyone black and I had never dated anyone white. We were both
coming to this as naive people.

When asked what changed her mind, she said it was a number of factors.

GWEN: I did remember that [in this first relationship] being in the
mall, places like that, with him and going up the escalator one day
and there were these black girls behind us and they were insulting
to me and I got angry. I think what they also did was toughen me
up a little bit and decide that I could do what I wanted to do and
didn’t feel that I had to conform to anyone . . . and with Bill there
was probably a different combination, since we weren’t in school
together or in the same field, there wasn’t the issue of him having
breakfast with our white colleagues and having to come back and
tell me what happened.

Gwen’s narrative reveals how initially she let her perception of black oppo-
sition to interracial dating (and her own opposition) affect her dating choices,
but with Bill she had grown “stronger” from the way she had been treated
previously and she felt more comfortable being in an interracial relationship.
Some of the other black partners also expressed these type of initial feel-
ings. Lee discussed how when he first met Jill he was “experimenting,” but
as a relationship developed, he asked himself, “Do I want to put myself
through this? Is it worth it?” and he decided it was “somewhat of a prob-
lem,” but now any initial hesitation or doubt is gone.
The black partner in the relationship often expressed initial hesitation,
primarily because they were concerned about whether the white partner un-
derstood the implications of getting involved. Stanley and Kim started dat-
ing in the mid-1970s, so he was initially worried about Kim because “she
was naïve,” and he wanted to make sure that she understood how people may
perceive her in a negative way because of their relationship. Furthermore, it
is not only the black partner’s belief that race may affect the relationship; it
is also the white partner’s lack of thought on the issue. (This pattern will
emerge again within the community research, where most white respondents
report never having thought about interracial relationships, while the black
 30 Navigating Interracial Borders

respondents interviewed all had extensive views on the issue.) For example,
Aisha, a twenty-four-year-old computer analyst, described how initially she
was “really conscious of having a relationship with a white guy,” citing that
she was “afraid” of what people would say, particularly her family and friends.
Her hesitation also revolved around the motives of her partner, Michael, a
forty-year-old computer analyst. Before she “let him into her world, ” she
asked him why he wanted to be with a black woman and made sure he knew
“how people would react.” Michael described his initial feelings that he didn’t
even “think about her as black” and didn’t see race as an issue. Over time he
has come to realize what Aisha was referring to, through their relationship
as well as through classes on race, which he has taken in his pursuit of a
bachelor’s degree. Michael’s response seems to be common among white in-
dividuals who are completely unaware of the potential issues involved with
dating or marrying interracially, especially those who have had limited con-
tact with other racial groups.
Victoria described how little she knew and how, as a white woman,
she had no idea that being in an interracial relationship would be a problem
for others:

VICTORIA: I have to say, I was so clueless . . . I guess I was really

ignorant to racism, because I didn’t even think about it when I met
Chris . . . I mean I had just started college and was really into cer-
tain music, and parties, or things that there were definitely a lot of
black people at . . . so I don’t think Chris knew that I didn’t get
it . . . looking back I realize now how many times I saw, knew things
that would have let me know, “oh, being with a black guy is not ko-
sher,” but at those times, I just didn’t even think about it.

For some whites such as Victoria, Michael, and Bill, the relationship opened
their eyes to issues of race and racism that previously they could not or would
not see.
These stories of how the couples came together reveal the different
ways race is viewed among them. Five of the couples stated that race played
no role in their relationships and emphasized the idea that love is color-blind,
that they didn’t see their partners in racial terms, even initially. The individuals
who discussed their first meeting and initial attraction in color-blind terms
were also the ones who acknowledged that they were primarily attracted to
or had dated outside their race previously, a theme that will be discussed later.
Beyond the differences in acknowledging the role of race, the differences be-
 Loving Across the Border 31

tween the white and black partners’ awareness of what entering an interra-
cial relationship meant is also important.

Being Interracial: The Private/Public Dichotomy

Despite different views on becoming an interracial couple, all of the
couples responded that when alone their interracial status was not a salient
piece of their relationship. Racial differences did not exist, did not affect their
treatment of each other, or were simply a source of diversity to celebrate,
not to dwell on. The couples’ narratives of how others viewed their relation-
ships, however, were often dramatically different, ranging from couples who
asserted that being in an interracial relationship had no effect on how they
were received or treated to couples who felt their life choices were signifi-
cantly altered because of societal perceptions and responses to their relation-
ship. This illustrates the ways that Americans construct the public and private
as separate, which has always been fundamentally shaped by race and gen-
der.13 Many of the couples described their relationships quite differently when
discussing how they view their relationships and interact with one another,
as opposed to how others view their relationships, which will be discussed
in greater depth through their narratives.
The couples differed in their perspectives on whether any aspect of their
lives or treatment from others had changed as a result of their relationship.
Four of the couples—Lisa/Victor, Olivia/Frank, Sandra/David, and Nancy/
Robert—adopted a color-blind approach, emphasizing the ordinariness of their
relationship and stating that they did not experience any racism or opposi-
tion. In contrast, five of the couples—Kim/Stanley, Chris/Victoria, Danielle/
Keith, Gwen/Bill, and Aisha/Michael—emphasized that they were continu-
ally made aware of others’ views of them as an interracial couple. With the
other six couples—Brittney/Mark, Jill/Lee, Kayla/Hank, Jennifer/Lance,
Sharon/Kevin, and Sara/Andre—their stories were ambivalent, at times ac-
knowledging being perceived differently, other times emphasizing the nor-
malcy of their relationship.
Among those who deemphasized the importance of race were Nancy,
a forty-two-year-old financial consultant, and her husband, Robert, a forty-
seven-year-old postal worker. They described themselves as an “ordinary
couple,” which was a typical response among the couples. Although Nancy
described having experiences with racism and discrimination when she was
a child, she and Robert both stated that now it is “the media which makes
race a problem . . . or people who play the race card.”
 32 Navigating Interracial Borders

ROBERT: Race isn’t a big deal . . . I personally am oblivious to race.

As far as I was raised there is good and bad in everyone . . . hey, I
mean we all bleed the same.

NANCY: Exactly. Just treat me like a human being . . . I don’t under-

stand to identify with others just because they are the same color.

These sentiments are echoed in popular culture, especially the media, who
often discusses race as a problem only when it is made into a problem, some-
thing that does not necessarily exist but can be “played.”14 Similarly, Sharon
and Kevin deemphasized race when discussing their relationship.
KEVIN: [It’s] just different pigmentation, and it’s society’s problem
not ours . . . with more and more [interracial] couples it is becom-
ing mainstream besides.

SHARON: To me, it’s not a big deal . . . people are going to talk no
matter who you are with.
Mark and his partner, Brittney, a white twenty-six-year-old waitress,
discussed their resentment at being labeled an interracial couple and having
people place emphasis on their racial differences.
BRITTNEY: We look it as like we’re a team. We’re partners.

MARK: I think [being thought of as interracial] sucks. We’re a couple.

Never mind the interracial stuff . . . just labeling . . . I don’t like that
stuff. It doesn’t matter what you are, you know what I mean. What
you are is living. So just be that . . . we’re a couple and we have a
son and as a result of us that’s our son [pointing to their infant son
in his swing].

Couples who took a color-blind approach of deemphasizing race when dis-

cussing their relationship stated that others did not treat them differently or
they did not notice how others responded, which may be a means of dealing
with racism and the discourse against interracial relationships.
SANDRA: I don’t notice what others may think or say . . . if they stare
like there is a problem, I’ve never been aware, I guess. . . . I may be
in denial about [interracial] couples, but what is the point of think-
ing otherwise?

DAVID (adding to Sandra’s statement): . . . but we never really en-

countered negative views . . . it’s [interracial couples] all over the
place. They have to know this race thing is getting to be ridiculous.
 Loving Across the Border 33

We’re human beings. None of us are supposed to have a color. Give

me a break. We’re people, not a color.

According to these couples, race plays no role in their lives or choices. For
example, when asked if being an interracial couple factored in to their deci-
sion on where to live, some couples answered that race played no role:
SANDRA: To be honest, I don’t think race, definitely not being inter-
racial even came up when we were looking for a house. It’s not di-
verse here, but we wanted to be located convenient for both me and
David [he works at a firm in Manhattan and she teaches at a college
in New Jersey]. Of course, schools were important.

FRANK: Olivia and I were both working in [the same city]. I did a
radius . . . being twenty-five miles limit because we had to commute.
We had the boys, so I was bringing the fact in, had an associate friend
of mine told me about [town they live in]. The only thing about it,
it’s all white.

Both couples stated that proximity to jobs and schools was important, but
the racial makeup of the area was not viewed as a consideration in their
choice, and there is no discussion or acknowledgment of white racism. Other
couples expressed ambivalence about race as a factor in their lives.

KAYLA: With [Jay, my ex-husband] I think I focused on race, and it

was hard because I didn’t want people to be like, “Oh, see, he is a
bad black guy” . . . but with Hank, he’s everything in a man, black
or white, that I’ve ever wanted . . . so I don’t notice [people look-
ing], not really as much as I did before, and I think it’s because I’m
not looking as much. I’m just so happy, and I’m so happy with my
children that I’m looking beyond [opposition].

Kayla struggles with the issue of how others view interracial relationships,
stating that with her ex-husband she felt people had a problem with the rela-
tionship, but with her boyfriend, Hank, she feels his positive qualities over-
shadow any opposition that may exist. Other individuals are also ambivalent
about the impact of race. For example, Jennifer shifts between stating that
she does not see Lance as a black man to discussing how everywhere they
go she feels that people, black and white, look at them differently. This brings
us back to the issue of the public versus the private realm, where couples
may not “see” race within their personal relationship, yet others may
“racialize” the relationship—that is, they may view the couple differently
 34 Navigating Interracial Borders

because of race or racial difference, thereby making it difficult for the couples
to explain what role race plays in their relationship.
Ten of the fifteen couples discussed things they don’t do or places they
won’t go because they are aware that they would not be accepted, which is
one way that being an “interracial” couple impacts them.
AISHA: Being married to a black man would be easier . . . I go to
dance clubs [predominantly black] without him because it would be
uncomfortable . . . or when he came to the West Indian Day Parade,
it was a problem, everyone was like, “Who’s this? How dare you
bring a white guy to this.”

LISA: When he was [working as a disk jockey] at an all black

club . . . and the first night . . . he didn’t want me to go and I wanted
to go, but I don’t think it was that he was afraid, I think it was be-
cause he wanted to [do a good job], so if I was there . . . the pres-
ence of me, maybe the black women . . . it might make them
unfriendly? I don’t know . . . because of my reception of the black
women there.
VICTOR: And that’s exactly what it was . . . now I wouldn’t worry
about bringing her there. I still know if I bring you there, there’s a
certain percentage of black women that are going to give you and
me dirty looks.

Illustrating the complexity of interracial relationships, these two couples also

stated that their lives are not “different” because they are interracial couples,
even though they discussed how there are certain places they don’t go.
Some couples explicitly described how others’ responses have impacted
their relationship, and they critiqued the color-blind discourse of other
couples:

DANIELLE: I couldn’t say that I don’t even notice that Keith is black,
because that is who he is and part of why I’m with him, I mean his
ways of doing things, or just everything comes from how he grew
up . . . but you know I also think about him being black because I
know what other [white] people say, and it makes me pissed, like
you don’t know him but you look at him like he’s a piece of shit.

KEITH: I didn’t marry her because she’s white, but, yeah, she’s white
[laughing] . . . we laugh all the time because some things she does
or I do and we both just joke, “Oh, that’s because you’re white,” I
 Loving Across the Border 35

mean just stupid things like the way I iron my jeans or the way she
makes scrambled eggs. I don’t know, but I think it’s funny when
people look at us. She gets more upset sometimes, but I say, hey, if
people, black or white, want to be ignorant, then let them get worked
up about us, but don’t let it bother you, you know.

Gwen and Bill also clearly state the role that they see race plays:
GWEN: I am a black woman. I see Bill as a white man . . . I’m a black
woman who’s married, who happens to be married to a white
male. . . . I don’t think love is color-blind, if it were they’d have more
interracial mixing. People tend to choose people to fit an image to
what is desirable to them. I can’t say when Bill and I started dating
that I didn’t notice the second we’d met that he is white, but when
we got together I could love him regardless of what he looks like.

BILL: Saying you don’t see race or you’re just human is sort of a
convention. It’s more a belief that you want to have—a kind of ide-
alized sense of themselves . . . so it is in a sense a belief statement,
not actual life . . . but of course as love becomes more complex, one
doesn’t see the racial identity of the other partner, at the same time
one becomes more acutely aware of it, not in a negative way . . . es-
pecially aware that I’m a white male and that’s factored into the re-
lationship in a way that I’m sensitive to.

These couples dismiss the idea that people no longer see race or that love is
color-blind, but again there is a distinction between private and public. Bill
acknowledged how in their private time together Gwen’s race is not a factor,
or, as Gwen stated, when he forgets to put his dirty socks in the hamper, he
is just her husband, not “her white husband.” Yet in their experiences with
others, even close family and friends, they feel their “racial differences” are
central. For Bill, in some aspects race has become even more important be-
cause he sees the many ways that his whiteness affects not only the way he
is treated but also the way Gwen and their relationship is understood.
Among the couples who consistently emphasized the role race played
in the responses of others to their relationship, white partners revealed a
heightened sense of awareness about issues of race and the existence of rac-
ism as a result of their relationships. Oftentimes the relationship brings the
white partner to experience different things or to find a commitment to is-
sues of diversity. For Victoria, her relationship with Chris has affected her
choices and her awareness of race:
 36 Navigating Interracial Borders

VICTORIA: A lot of the reason I became a social worker had to do

with Chris, in a weird way, because after we met I became real aware
of inequality, racially and just in general, poverty, abuse, now I think
I just really feel comfortable in diverse environments and I like that
Chris and I talk about issues and are committed to something [their
work in inner-city communities and membership in organizations like
the NAACP], a lot of people don’t have that.

CHRIS: It definitely makes a difference that I know she feels like I

do, and I think that even makes me respect her more because it’s
like she didn’t have to do this. I mean, I’m black, this is about im-
proving my community, my people, but for her she could have mar-
ried a nice white guy and lived in white suburbia [laughing] and not
even thought about it, that’s why if someone even tries to disrespect
her [because she’s white] I’m not having it.

Sara, who navigates between color-blindness and race consciousness, dis-

cussed the way her relationship with Andre has changed her:
SARA: I’ve become more aware of what it must be like for the one
African American man in my class and we went on an interview to
a job together and how I realized immediately that he was the only
person of color there and stuff like . . . I think I’ve become more
aware of other people’s situations on a more personal level as op-
posed to just, “Oh, you know, they’re the black kids that like to hang
out together. Why are they being so exclusive?” I think I’ve begun
a little more to understand maybe why people are like that and
situationally and things like that, but sometimes I wonder if, you
know, Andre would be better off with someone . . . better off with
someone who could, was bi-racial or black or something like that. I
felt inadequate myself. Could I not understand him because I’m dif-
ferent?

Sara’s response reveals not only how she has become more aware of race
but also how this awareness has made her more self-conscious of whether
her whiteness makes her unable to be an acceptable partner for Andre.
In some cases, the white individuals were already involved in cultur-
ally diverse organizations or groups and that is how they entered into their
relationships. For example, Kevin enjoys a number of activities involving dif-
ferent cultures and different races/ethnicities. He is a Latin percussionist
studying to be an ethnomusicologist, and he is very involved in Santeria. All
 Loving Across the Border 37

of these affiliations, as well as his diverse group of friends make his rela-
tionship with Sharon easier.
Other couples reported that they do face opposition when they go out,
but they do not avoid certain places or leave their partners at home because
of potential opposition. Opposition occurred in both predominantly black and
predominantly white social environments:
LANCE: We go to parties, especially in my neighborhood [predomi-
nantly black] and there is usually a problem, but you just deal.
JENNIFER: Well, sometimes he is like, “Maybe we shouldn’t go,” but
I say screw that. I’m not gonna stay home like I did something
wrong, we have nothing to hide, and I feel the same about bringing
him to [white] parties on campus.

GWEN: We’ve never excluded each other. I go to a lot of public func-

tions and he was always there with me, I’m sure that people say
things. The fact that we are together is an issue, but they haven’t
said it to us publicly.
BILL: The only observation I can make is the kind of awareness you
have when you enter into a social situation where you end up and
people don’t know who I am. So it became a sort of, became hu-
morous for us, I think, to register people’s expressions on their face,
so we walk in places and she introduces me and we see them look-
ing back and forth.

Not letting opposition deter them from activities or functions is a source of

empowerment for these couples.

The Larger Picture in Black and White

When asked to think about the overall acceptance of black-white rela-
tionships in society today, all of the couples agreed that interracial couples
have an easier time today than thirty years ago. Yet the couples differed in
their views on what role race still played in others’ responses to their rela-
tionships. Some couples stated that society is accepting of interracial couples,
arguing that things have gotten so much better that it is no longer an issue,
while other couples stated that there is still a significant amount of opposition,
but, as with contemporary racism, contemporary opposition is often expressed
in more subtle forms. Eight of the couples stated they did not feel that any
opposition existed against interracial unions, or if it did it was small and
 38 Navigating Interracial Borders

isolated in certain areas such as the Deep South. Lisa and Victor’s response
is typical of the color-blind strategy that couples employed when discussing
the responses of society to interracial couples: they minimize or deemphasize
the role of race.

VICTOR: I think it has changed, I’ve seen it change . . . we’ve seen

that [the opposition] change because we’ve seen it so much [refer-
ring to interracial couples]. I mean, when you walk places that’s what
you see. I can remember we went to Boston, and, I mean, they were
all over the place, very interracial . . . it’s not going to be a big
deal . . . but there’s probably places down there [South] that still, it’s
not to be done . . . but we’re quite fond actually of spotting interra-
cial couples wherever we go. We call them IRCs . . . “Did you see
the table behind you? Oh, yeah, cool,” course she’s always check-
ing out the kids . . . to see what the mix looks like. Honestly, it’s go-
ing to be the wave of the future. There’ll be more of it and people
will think less of a taboo about the whole thing.

LISA: Your father said the browning of America.

VICTOR: No, that was my cousin. I think it’s changing, more popu-
lar. I know that interracial marriages last longer as a whole, as a gen-
eral rule, than regular, the other marriages. I think people are waking
up and definitely paying attention to that . . . but, like I said, we have
friends who don’t think it’s a big deal.

LISA: I don’t think it’s ever been a problem with us.

Lisa and Victor addressed the issue of societal opposition by stating all the
reasons they think there is none. Victor draws on different things, such as
seeing more interracial couples, the idea of the browning of America, his be-
lief that interracial marriages last longer, and the assertion that interracial
marriage and biracial children are the future. Other couples also expressed
these sentiments.

ROBERT: It’s just not a problem anymore, you used to see black men
with white women, now you see more and more women of color
with white men . . . it’s just more acceptable these days.

NANCY: I mean, nobody looks at us and says, “Oh, My God” . . . it’s

just more accepted.
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 Chapter II.-Of Imagination
Associative.
§ 1. Of simple conception. 147
§ 2. How connected with verbal knowledge. 148
§ 3. How used in composition. 148
§ 4. Characteristics of composition. 149
What powers are implied by it. The first of the three
§ 5. 150
functions of fancy.
§ 6. Imagination not yet manifested. 150
Imagination is the correlative conception of imperfect
§ 7. 151
component parts.
§ 8. Material analogy with imagination. 151
§ 9. The grasp and dignity of imagination. 152
§ 10. Its limits. 153
How manifested in treatment of uncertain relations. Its
§ 11. 154
deficiency illustrated.
§ 12. Laws of art, the safeguard of the unimaginative. 155
Are by the imaginative painter despised. Tests of
§ 13. 155
imagination.
§ 14. The monotony of unimaginative treatment. 156
§ 15. Imagination never repeats itself. 157
§ 16. Relation of the imaginative faculty to the theoretic. 157
§ 17. Modification of its manifestation. 158
Instances of absence of imagination.—Claude, Gaspar
§ 18. 158
Poussin.
§ 19. Its presence.—Salvator, Nicolo Poussin, Titian, Tintoret. 159
§ 20. And Turner. 160
 The due function of Associative imagination with respect
§ 21. 161
to nature.
The sign of imaginative work is its appearance of
§ 22. 161
absolute truth.
 Chapter III.-Of Imagination
Penetrative.
Imagination penetrative is concerned not with the
§ 1. 163
combining but apprehending of things.
§ 2. Milton's and Dante's description of flame. 163
§ 3. The imagination seizes always by the innermost point. 164
§ 4. It acts intuitively and without reasoning. 165
§ 5. Signs of it in language. 165
§ 6. Absence of imagination, how shown. 166
§ 7. Distinction between imagination and fancy. 166
§ 8. Fancy how involved with imagination. 168
§ 9. Fancy is never serious. 169
Want of seriousness the bar to high art at the present
§ 10. 169
time.
§ 11. Imagination is quiet; fancy, restless. 170
§ 12. The detailing operation of fancy. 170
§ 13. And suggestive, of the imagination. 171
§ 14. This suggestiveness how opposed to vacancy. 172
§ 15. Imagination addresses itself to imagination. 173
Instances from the works of Tintoret. 173
§ 16. The entombment. 174
§ 17. The Annunciation. 174
§ 18. The Baptism of Christ. Its treatment by various painters. 176
§ 19. By Tintoret. 177
§ 20. The Crucifixion. 178
§ 21. The Massacre of innocents. 179
§ 22. Various works in the Scuola di San Rocco. 181
§ 23. The Last Judgment. How treated by various painters. 181
§ 24. By Tintoret. 182
§ 25. The imaginative verity, how distinguished from realism. 183
§ 26. The imagination how manifested in sculpture. 184
§ 27. Bandinelli, Canova, Mino da Fiesole. 184
§ 28. Michael Angelo. 185
Recapitulation. The perfect function of the imagination is
§ 29. 188
the intuitive perception of ultimate truth.
§ 30. Imagination how vulgarly understood. 190
§ 31. How its cultivation is dependent on the moral feelings. 190
§ 32. On independence of mind. 191
§ 33. And on habitual reference to nature. 191
 Chapter IV.-Of Imagination
Contemplative.
Imagination contemplative is not part of the essence, but
§ 1. 192
only a habit or mode of the faculty.
§ 2. The ambiguity of conception. 192
Is not in itself capable of adding to the charm of fair
§ 3. 193
things.
But gives to the imagination its regardant power over
§ 4. 194
them.
The third office of fancy distinguished from imagination
§ 5. 195
contemplative.
§ 6. Various instances. 197
§ 7. Morbid or nervous fancy. 200
The action of contemplative imagination is not to be
§ 8. 201
expressed by art.
Except under narrow limits.—1st. Abstract rendering of
§ 9. 201
form without color.
§ 10. Of color without form. 202
§ 11. Or of both without texture. 202
§ 12. Abstraction or typical representation of animal form. 203
§ 13. Either when it is symbolically used. 204
§ 14. Or in architectural decoration. 205
§ 15. Exception in delicate and superimposed ornament. 206
§ 16. Abstraction necessary from imperfection of materials. 206
Abstractions of things capable of varied accident are not
§ 17. 207
imaginative.
§ 18. Yet sometimes valuable. 207
 Exaggeration. Its laws and limits. First, in scale of
§ 19. 208
representation.
§ 20. Secondly, of things capable of variety of scale. 209
Thirdly, necessary in expression of characteristic features
§ 21. 210
on diminished scale.
§ 22. Recapitulation. 211
 Chapter V.-Of the Superhuman
Ideal.
§ 1. The subject is not to be here treated in detail. 212
The conceivable modes of manifestation of Spiritual
§ 2. 212
Beings are four.
§ 3. And these are in or through creature forms familiar to us. 213
Supernatural character may be impressed on these either
§ 4. by phenomena inconsistent with their common nature 213
(compare Chap. iv. § 16).
§ 5. Or by inherent Dignity. 213
§ 6. 1st. Of the expression of inspiration. 214
No representation of that which is more than creature is
§ 7. 215
possible.
Supernatural character expressed by modification of
§ 8. 216
accessories.
Landscape of the religious painters. Its character is
§ 9. 217
eminently symmetrical.
§ 10. Landscape of Benozzo Gozzoli. 217
§ 11. Landscape of Perugino and Raffaelle. 218
§ 12. Such Landscape is not to be imitated. 218
Color, and Decoration. Their use in representations of the
§ 13. 219
Supernatural.
§ 14. Decoration so used must be generic. 220
§ 15. And color pure. 220
§ 16. Ideal form of the body itself, of what variety susceptible. 221
§ 17. Anatomical development how far admissible. 221
§ 18. Symmetry. How valuable. 221
§ 19. The influence of Greek art, how dangerous. 222
§ 20. Its scope, how limited. 223
§ 21. Conclusion. 224
22
ADDENDA.
5
LIST OF PLATES TO VOLUME II.
Page.
Court of the Ducal Palace, Venice 10
From a drawing by Ruskin.
Tomb of the Ilaria di Caretto, Lucca 72
From a photograph.
The Adoration of the Magi 158
From a painting by Ruskin, after Tintoret.
Study of Stone Pine, at Sestri 199
From a drawing by Ruskin.

MODERN PAINTERS
 VOL. III.
CONTAINING PART IV., OF MANY THINGS.

TABLE OF CONTENTS.
 PART IV., OF MANY THINGS
PAGE
Of the received Opinions touching the "Grand
Chapter I.— 1
Style"
" II.— Of Realization 16
" III.— Of the Real Nature of Greatness of Style 23
" IV.— Of the False Ideal:—First, Religious 44
" V.— Of the False Ideal:—Secondly, Profane 61
" VI.— Of the True Ideal:—First, Purist 70
" VII.— Of the True Ideal:—Secondly, Naturalist 77
" VIII.— Of the True Ideal:—Thirdly, Grotesque 92
" IX.— Of Finish 108
" X.— Of the Use of Pictures 124
" XI.— Of the Novelty of Landscape 144
" XII.— Of the Pathetic Fallacy 152
" XIII.— Of Classical Landscape 168
" XIV.— Of Mediæval Landscape:—First, the Fields 191
" XV.— Of Mediæval Landscape:—Secondly, the Rocks 229
" XVI.— Of Modern Landscape 248
" XVII.— The Moral of Landscape 280
XVIII.
" Of the Teachers of Turner 308
—
 APPENDIX.
I.— Claude's Tree-drawing 333
II.— German Philosophy 336
III.— Plagiarism 338
 LIST OF PLATES TO VOL. III.
Drawn by Engraved by
Frontispiece. Lake, Land, J. C. Armytage.
The Author
and Cloud.

Plate Facing page

1. True and False Griffins The Author R. P. Cuff 106
2. Drawing of Tree-bark Various J. H. Le Keux 114
3. Strength of old Pine The Author J. H. Le Keux 116
Ramification according
4. Claude J. H. Le Keux 117
to Claude
Good and Bad Tree- Turner and
5. J. Cousen 118
drawing Constable
6. Foreground Leafage The Author J. C. Armytage 121
Botany of the
7. Missal-Painters Henry Shaw 203
Thirteenth Century
8. The Growth of Leaves The Author R. P. Cuff 204
Botany of the
9. Missal-Painters Cuff; H. Swan 207
Fourteenth Century
10. Geology of the Middle
Leonardo, etc. R. P. Cuff 238
Ages
11.
Latest Purism Raphael J. C. Armytage 313
12.
The Shores of Wharfe J. W. M. Turner The Author 314

13. First Mountain-

Masaccio J. H. Le Keux 315
Naturalism
14.
The Lombard Apennine The Author Thos. Lupton 315
15. St. George of the
The Author Thos. Lupton 315
Seaweed
16.
Early Naturalism Titian J. C. Armytage 316
17.
Advanced Naturalism Tintoret J. C. Armytage 316

MODERN PAINTERS
VOLUME IV., CONTAINING PART V.,
OF MOUNTAIN BEAUTY.

TABLE OF CONTENTS.

PART V.

OF MOUNTAIN BEAUTY.

page
Chapter I.— Of the Turnerian Picturesque 1
" II.— Of Turnerian Topography 16
" III.— Of Turnerian Light 34
" IV.— Of Turnerian Mystery: First, as Essential56
" V.— Of Turnerian Mystery: Secondly, Wilful 68
" VI.— The Firmament 82
" VII.— The Dry Land 89
Of the Materials of Mountains: First,
" VIII.— 99
Compact Crystallines
Of the Materials of Mountains: Secondly,
" IX.— 113
Slaty Crystallines
Of the Materials of Mountains: Thirdly,
" X.— 122
Slaty Coherents
Of the Materials of Mountains: Fourthly,
" XI.— 127
Compact Coherents
 Of the Sculpture of Mountains: First, the
" XII.— 137
Lateral Ranges
Of the Sculpture of Mountains: Secondly,
" XIII.— 157
the Central Peaks
" XIV.— Resulting Forms: First, Aiguilles 173
" XV.— Resulting Forms: Second, Crests 195
" XVI.— Resulting Forms: Third, Precipices 228
" XVII.— Resulting Forms: Fourthly, Banks 262
" XVIII.— Resulting Forms: Fifthly, Stones 301
" XIX.— The Mountain Gloom 317
" XX.— The Mountain Glory 344

APPENDIX.

I. Modern Grotesque 385

II. Rock Cleavage 391
III. Logical Education 399

LIST OF PLATES TO VOL. IV.

Drawn by Engraved by
Frontispiece. The Gates of the
J. M. W. Turner J. Cousen
Hills
Plate Facing page
The Transition from Ghirlandajo and J. H. Le
18. 1
Ghirlandajo to Claude Claude Keux
The Picturesque of Stanfield and J. H. Le
19. 7
Windmills Turner Keux
The Pass of Faïdo. 1.
20. The Author The Author 22
Simple Topography
 The Pass of Faïdo 2.
21. J. M. W. Turner The Author 24
Turnerian Topography
Turner's Earliest
22. J. M. W. Turner T. Boys 29
Nottingham
23. Turner's Latest Nottingham J. M. W. Turner T. Boys 30
J. C.
24. The Towers of Fribourg The Author 32
Armytage
J. H. Le
25. Things in General The Author 32
Keux
26. The Law of Evanescence The Author R. P. Cuff 71
The Aspen under
27. Turner, etc. J. Cousen 76
Idealization
J. C.
28. The Aspen Unidealized The Author 77
Armytage
J. C.
29. Aiguille Structure The Author 160
Armytage
30. The Ideal of Aiguilles The Author, etc. R. P. Cuff 177
J. C.
31. The Aiguille Blaitière The Author 185
Armytage
J. H. Le
32. Aiguille-drawing Turner, etc. 191
Keux
Contours of Aiguille
33. The Author R. P. Cuff 204
Bouchard
Cleavage of Aiguille
34. The Author The Author 211
Bouchard
Crests of La Côte and
35. The Author The Author 212
Taconay
36. Crest of La Côte The Author T. Lupton 213
Crests of the Slaty
37. J. M. W. Turner The Author 222
Crystallines
The Cervin, from the East J. C.
38. The Author 233
and North-east Armytage
 The Cervin from the North- J. C.
39. The Author 238
west Armytage
The Mountains of J. H. Le
40. The Author 246
Villeneuve Keux
Thos.
12. A. The Shores of Wharfe J. M. W. Turner 251
Lupton
J. H. Le
41. The Rocks of Arona The Author 255
Keux
Leaf Curvature Magnolia
42. The Author R. P. Cuff 269
and Laburnum
43. Leaf Curvature Dead Laurel The Author R. P. Cuff 269
44. Leaf Curvature Young Ivy The Author R. P. Cuff 269
45. Débris Curvature The Author R. P. Cuff 285
J. H. Le
46. The Buttresses of an Alp The Author 286
Keux
J. H. Le
47. The Quarry of Carrara The Author 299
Keux
J. C.
48. Bank of Slaty Crystallines Daguerreotype 304
Armytage
Truth and Untruth of Thos.
49. Turner and Claude 308
Stones Lupton
50. Goldau J. M. W. Turner J. Cousen 312

MODERN PAINTERS
VOLUME V., COMPLETING THE
WORK AND CONTAINING:
PARTS
VI. OF LEAF BEAUTY.
VII. OF CLOUD BEAUTY.
VIII. OF IDEAS OF RELATION.
1. OF INVENTION FORMAL.
IX. OF IDEAS OF RELATION.
2. OF INVENTION SPIRITUAL.
 TABLE OF CONTENTS
PART VI.
ON LEAF BEAUTY.
PAGE
Preface v
Chapter I. —The Earth-Veil 1
” II. —The Leaf Orders 6
” III. —The Bud 10
” IV. —The Leaf 21
” V. —Leaf Aspects 34
” VI. —The Branch 39
” VII. —The Stem 49
” VIII. —The Leaf Monuments 63
” IX. —The Leaf Shadows 77
” X. —Leaves Motionless 88
—————
PART VII.
OF CLOUD BEAUTY.
—————
Chapter I. —The Cloud Balancings 101
” II. —The Cloud-Flocks 108
” III. —The Cloud-Chariots 122
” IV. —The Angel of the Sea 133
—————
PART VIII.
OF IDEAS OF RELATION:—I. OF INVENTION FORMAL.
—————
Chapter I. —The Law of Help 153
” II. —The Task of the Least 164
” III. —The Rule of the Greatest 175
” IV. —The Law of Perfectness 180
—————
PART IX.
OF IDEAS OF RELATION:—II. OF INVENTION SPIRITUAL.
—————
Chapter I. —The Dark Mirror 193
” II. —The Lance of Pallas 202
” III. —The Wings of the Lion 214
” IV. —Durer and Salvator 230
” V. —Claude and Poussin 241
” VI. —Rubens and Cuyp 249
” VII. —Of Vulgarity 261
” VIII. —Wouvermans and Angelico 277
” IX. —The Two Boyhoods 286
” X. —The Nereid’s Guard 298
” XI. —The Hesperid Æglé 314
” XII. —Peace 339
—————
Local Index.
Index to Painters and Pictures.
Topical Index.

LIST OF PLATES TO VOL. V.

Engraved
Drawn by
by
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