Me, Myself, and Them A Firsthand Account of One Young
Person's Experience with Schizophrenia
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Me, Myself,
and Them
A Firsthand Account of
One Young Person’s Experience
With Schizophrenia
Kurt Snyder
with Raquel E. Gur, M.D., Ph.D., and Linda Wasmer Andrews
The Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunnylands’
Adolescent Mental Health Initiative
1
2007
1
Oxford University Press, Inc., publishes works that further
Oxford University’s objective of excellence
in research, scholarship, and education.
The Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunnylands
The Annenberg Public Policy Center of the University of Pennsylvania
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Snyder, Kurt.
Me, myself, and them : a firsthand account of one young person’s experience with
schizophrenia / by Kurt Snyder with Raquel E. Gur, and Linda Wasmer Andrews.
p. cm.—(Adolescent mental health initiative)
‘‘The Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunnylands, the Annenberg Public Policy Center.’’
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-19-531123-5; 978-0-19-531122-8 (pbk)
1. Snyder, Kurt—Mental health. 2. Schizophrenics—United States—Biography.
3. Schizophrenia in adolescence—United States. I. Gur, Raquel E. II. Andrews, Linda
Wasmer. III. Title.
RC514.S565A3 2007
616.89'80092–dc22 2007016619
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
Contents
Foreword ix
Preface xiii
One
A Fragmented Mind: Overview of Schizophrenia 1
My Story 1
Delusions of grandeur 1
The early days 4
The Big Picture 8
So what is schizophrenia? 9
Who gets schizophrenia? 10
Where does schizophrenia come from? 11
What are the early warning signs? 16
Two
First Encounters With Them: Symptoms and Paranoia 19
My Story 19
A change of plan 20
Being watched 21
A new opportunity 23
An unanswered message 26
vi Contents
Too many coincidences 28
Uncertain assumptions 34
An imagination run wild 37
The Big Picture 40
What are positive and negative symptoms of schizophrenia? 41
How important are cognitive symptoms of schizophrenia? 47
Are people with schizophrenia aware of how sick they are? 48
What are the different types of schizophrenia? 48
Three
In the Grip of Them: Losing Touch With Reality 53
My Story 53
Getting away 53
Glasgow, Montana 56
Intrusion 59
Lockdown 63
Returning home 65
The Big Picture 67
How does schizophrenia affect everyday life? 68
When and why is hospitalization helpful? 71
What are the ins and outs of inpatient care? 74
Where can you get help outside the hospital? 77
Four
Naming and Facing the Enemy: Diagnosis
and Treatment 79
My Story 79
The delusions intensify 80
Back to the hospital 81
Back to the outside world 82
Giving THEM a name 83
The Big Picture 84
How is schizophrenia diagnosed? 84
What conditions often coexist with schizophrenia? 86
Contents vii
Why is professional treatment so important? 89
What medications are used to treat schizophrenia? 90
How does psychological and behavioral therapy help? 96
What is the outlook for the future? 100
Five
Beating the Enemy: Recovery from Schizophrenia 103
My Story 103
Accepting schizophrenia 105
A new direction 106
The Big Picture 109
What are psychosocial rehabilitation programs? 110
What types of training and support are available? 111
How can you cope with schizophrenia at school? 115
How can you deal with schizophrenia at work? 119
What are options for living on your own? 121
What are tips for handling social situations? 126
What are tips for coping with stress and change? 130
Six
Putting the Pieces Back Together: My Life Today 133
Epilogue to My Story 133
Frequently Asked Questions 137
Glossary 143
Resources 149
Bibliography 157
Index 159
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Foreword
T he Adolescent Mental Health Initiative (AMHI) was
created by The Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunny-
lands to share with mental health professionals, parents, and
adolescents the advances in treatment and prevention now
available to adolescents with mental health disorders. The Ini-
tiative was made possible by the generosity and vision of
Ambassadors Walter and Leonore Annenberg, and the project
was administered through the Annenberg Public Policy Center
of the University of Pennsylvania in partnership with Oxford
University Press.
The Initiative began in 2003 with the convening, in Phi-
ladelphia and New York, of seven scholarly commissions made
up of over 150 leading psychiatrists and psychologists from
around the country. Chaired by Drs. Edna B. Foa, Dwight L.
Evans, B. Timothy Walsh, Martin E. P. Seligman, Raquel E.
Gur, Charles P. O’Brien, and Herbert Hendin, these com-
missions were tasked with assessing the state of scientific re-
search on the prevalent mental disorders whose onset occurs
predominantly between the ages of 10 and 22. Their collective
ix
x Foreword
findings now appear in a book for mental health professionals
and policy makers titled Treating and Preventing Adolescent
Mental Health Disorders (2005). As the first product of the
Initiative, that book also identified a research agenda that
would best advance our ability to prevent and treat these
disorders, among them anxiety disorders, depression and bi-
polar disorder, eating disorders, substance abuse, and schizo-
phrenia.
The second prong of the Initiative’s three-part effort is a
series of smaller books for general readers. Some of the books
are designed primarily for parents of adolescents with a specific
mental health disorder. And some, including this one, are
aimed at adolescents themselves who are struggling with a
mental illness. All of the books draw their scientific informa-
tion in part from the AMHI professional volume, presenting it
in a manner that is accessible to general readers of different
ages. The ‘‘teen books’’ also feature the real-life story of one
young person who has struggled with—and now manages—a
given mental illness. They serve as both a source of solid re-
search about the illness and as a roadmap to recovery for
afflicted young people. Thus they offer a unique combination
of medical science and firsthand practical wisdom in an effort
to inspire adolescents to take an active role in their own
recovery.
The third part of the Sunnylands Adolescent Mental Health
Initiative consists of two Web sites. The first, www.Cope
CareDeal.org, addresses teens. The second, www.oup.com/
us/teenmentalhealth, provides updates to the medical com-
munity on matters discussed in Treating and Preventing
Adolescent Mental Health Disorders, the AMHI professional
book.
Foreword xi
We hope that you find this volume, as one of the fruits of
the Initiative, to be helpful and enlightening.
Patrick Jamieson, Ph.D.
Series Editor
Adolescent Risk Communication Institute
Annenberg Public Policy Center
University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, PA
This page intentionally left blank
Preface
H i. My name is Kurt Snyder. I’m 34 years old and I have
schizophrenia. I live just outside Annapolis, Maryland,
in the United States.
I developed schizophrenia gradually over a period of about
ten years, beginning when I was about 18 years old. For most
of that time, none of my family or friends realized I was having
mental problems. Eventually, however, my symptoms became
severe, and then everyone noticed there was something wrong
with me. I started to think I was under surveillance 24 hours a
day by some unseen group of people. At one point, I wondered
whether my whole life was manufactured by some type of
virtual reality machine, operated by aliens.
While I was ill, I couldn’t work effectively. I tried working
part time, but I was fired from two different jobs within a
month. I became very depressed, and for a while, I had no men-
tal energy whatsoever. I couldn’t even rake leaves in my own
backyard. I started to realize that I was having mental prob-
lems, that my brain was broken. I thought I was never going
to be able to do any productive work ever again. I thought I
would never achieve anything significant, and my friends
xiii
xiv Preface
would drift away from me. I thought I was inadequate for life.
I expected to live out the rest of my days in sorrow and misery.
I was wrong.
That was six years ago. Today, I have been working effec-
tively at the same job for the last four years. I’m a database
administrator (a computer-related job) employed by the state of
Maryland. I am also president of my local volunteer fire de-
partment, which I joined six years ago. All my friends have
stayed with me. With the help of medication, my illness is in
remission. I have had only minimal symptoms of schizo-
phrenia over the last three years.
I’m writing this book to help you understand one thing:
Having schizophrenia is not a death sentence. Life goes on,
sometimes better than you might have hoped. You may be
having a difficult time dealing with the symptoms and ex-
pression of this disease, whether it’s you or someone you know
who has schizophrenia. However, these difficult times may not
be permanent. If you are willing to work hard toward a suc-
cessful outcome, in many cases the symptoms of schizophrenia
can be managed and controlled. The life of a person with
schizophrenia can grow and develop just as that of anyone else
who doesn’t have this disease.
How This Book Came to Be
There are a number of books about schizophrenia in print, but
few are written especially for teenagers and young adults.
Fewer still are first-person accounts of what it really feels like to
fight schizophrenia and win. This book aims to fill that void.
The idea for the book started with seven scholarly com-
missions on adolescent mental health that were convened in
2003 by the Annenberg Foundation Trust at Sunnylands. The
psychiatrists and psychologists on these commissions were
Preface xv
charged with looking at the state of the science on mental
disorders that strike teenagers and young adults. Several books
about adolescent mental health followed, including the one
you hold in your hands.
The chair of the schizophrenia commission was Raquel E.
Gur, M.D., Ph.D., who also is medical adviser and coauthor
for this book. Dr. Gur is Professor of Psychiatry, Neurology,
and Radiology at the University of Pennsylvania. In addition,
she has acted as director of the Neuropsychiatry Section and
the Schizophrenia Research Center there. Her career has been
devoted to studying brain function in schizophrenia, so she
brings a wealth of experience and expertise to these pages.
The third person on our writing team is Linda Wasmer
Andrews, a journalist who has specialized in writing about
mental health issues for more than two decades. One of the
ways that she contributed to the book was by interviewing
other people who struggled with schizophrenia in their teens
and twenties. You’ll see their stories sprinkled throughout
these pages in sidebars titled ‘‘Other Faces of Schizophrenia.’’
To protect the privacy of interview participants, pseudonyms
are used. But their stories, often told in their own words, are
true, honest, and filled with helpful hints and hopeful insights.
I’ve also used pseudonyms for the rest of the people who
appear in this book. All of the events I describe are 100% true.
What You’ll Find Here
Together, my coauthors and I have teamed up to create a
unique book that looks at schizophrenia from multiple points
of view. It’s the firsthand account of my battle to overcome
schizophrenia, but it’s also the story of the other 2.4 million
Americans—and the 24 million people worldwide—who have
this feared yet fascinating disease.
