I Can't Believe I Dated Him The Art of Knowing When to

Break Up, When to Stay Single & When You've Met the
One

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 Praise for

I Can’t Believe I Dated Him

In this day and age women don’t really need men. We have our own careers,
we can wield a hammer, and join self-protection classes to take care of
ourselves but many women still want companionship and the connection of
deep intimacy with one special man. The dating and searching for this special
soulmate has been fraught with all sorts of problems because of our stinkin’
thinkin’ conditioning by our parents, our culture, and the times we live in. In I
Can’t Believe I Dated Him, author Jackie Viramontez expertly and
compassionately guides you to do more inner searching for emotional patterns
and behaviours so that the wrong men stop appearing at your doorsteps. I
highly recommend this book for single or married women looking for a step-
by- step approach to turn relationship pains into opportunities for self-
discovery and a chance for lasting joy.
—Alina Frank, EFT Tapping Trainer and Bestselling Author of How to Want
Sex Again

Jackie Viramontez brilliantly shares her wisdom, wit and science to provide
you with practical solutions that will propel you into the relationship you
deserve with a special partner, and with yourself! The simple process teaches
you to use your emotions as a guidance system to transform your relationships
in hours rather than decades, or a lifetime. Women of every stage of life need
to read I Can’t Believe I Dated Him!
—Dale Paula Teplitz, M.A., EFT Tapping Expert, Trainer and Mentor

Brilliant! Jackie is spot on in I Can’t Believe I Dated Him! Relationships

whether pre or post marriage are all about what we learned emotionally earlier
in life. Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT “tapping”) are the tool to undo
all those hard-wired, neurochemical lessons, allowing us to move forward to
become who we are meant to be and to find that soulmate God has waiting for
us.
How do I know this? God, using the techniques laid out in this book, saved
our marriage. Six years ago, before learning Emotional Freedom Techniques,
my marriage was dead; divorce was imminent. No amount of counseling
worked. We wanted the relationship saved, but it was doomed. We fought
daily. Later, after learning EFT, we realized our marriage wasn’t about either of
us; it was about relational childhood lessons we needed to upgrade.
EFT is the great eraser. Learn to “tap”, release the underlying emotions
pinning you to habits that don’t support dating and marriage, and watch both
of you grow, learning to live and love beyond anything you ever imagined!
—Sherrie Rice Smith, R.N., Author of EFT for Christians, EFT Trainer and
Instructor

Beautiful, reassuring, and vulnerable, I Can’t Believe I Dated Him unfolds

with the deeper truth of what it means to be in relationship: discovering
ourselves through the mirror of others and having the courage to approach
what we learn as an opportunity for transformation. This amazing book should
be required reading for everyone: single, dating, or married.”
—Sue Rasmussen, Bestselling Author of My Desk Is Driving Me Crazy and
Life Coach

Whether you are in a relationship or not, this book is an absolute must

read. Reading this transformed my taken-for-granted ideas about emotions like
anxiety, insecurity and anger. Instead of “getting rid of ” negative emotions, this
book inspires eye-opening, if not life-changing, revelations about what
emotions really are. This is the first book I’ve seen that objectively brings to
light the fact that emotions (like any other brain signal) have an evolutionary
purpose. By taking a step back to view emotions objectively for the first time,
this book opens up a whole new way of experiencing every human thought
and interaction. As an educator, I would also strongly recommend this book to
adolescents and anyone who works with kids. Even the most “well-adjusted,”
respected, successful people unquestioningly accept that emotions affect
behavior. This book lays out a simple step-by-step plan to erase that reality. For
anyone in a relationship with a boyfriend, friend, coworker or boss, I do not
know a single person who would not enjoy their life (and themselves) more
after reading this book.
—Lauren Martin, M.D. Educator and Non Profit Founder

When I started reading I Can’t Believe I Dated Him, I thought it must be

some sort of prank and someone had obviously unearthed my dating life to
build each chapter. It was a relief to be wrong and to know that I’m not alone
in this journey. The powerful insight in these pages undid me and put me back
together in a way I’ve needed for a long time. I’ve carried a lot of shame about
my choices in men, but this book helped to acknowledge, heal, and transform
the root of it all.
—Danielle Bennett, M.D. Poet, Communicator and Educator

Jackie’s book addresses the trifecta of relationship mastery: Empowerment,

Emotions, and Energy. Through clear explanations about negative emotions
that arise from old belief systems, women who feel trapped in old patterns can
begin to see a light at the end of a despairing tunnel. But Jackie doesn’t just
stop raising conscious awareness, she also provides the energy tools for
transforming those old patterns into new relationship potentials. It’s
empowering to know that I can let go of what doesn’t serve me now and
anything that might come up in the future. No more holding back or failing in
relationships!
—Gia Combs-Ramirez, Author of The Way of Transformation: Discovering the
Divine Map to Unlock your Highest Potential and Transformational Healer at
New Science of Energy Healing
 I Can’t Believe
I Dated
Him
THE ART OF KNOWING WHEN TO BREAK UP,
WHEN TO STAY SINGLE & WHEN YOU’VE MET

T HE ONE

Jackie Viramontez

NEW YORK
NASHVILLE • MELBOURNE • VANCOUVER
I Can’t Believe I Dated Him
The Art Of Knowing When To Break Up,
When To Stay Single & When You’ve Met T HE ONE
© 2017 Jackie Viramontez
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or
other‚—except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without the prior written permission of
the publisher.
Brand and product names are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective owners.
Published in New York, New York, by Morgan James Publishing in partnership with Difference Press.
Morgan James and The Entrepreneurial Publisher are trademarks of Morgan James, LLC.
www.MorganJamesPublishing.com
The Morgan James Speakers Group can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to
book an event visit The Morgan James Speakers Group at www.TheMorganJamesSpeakersGroup.com.

ISBN 978-1-68350-280-7 paperback

ISBN 978-1-68350-281-4 eBook
ISBN 978-1-68350-282-1 hardcover
Library of Congress Control Number:
2016916535
Interior Design: Bonnie Bushman
Cover Design: Heidi Miller
Editing: Cynthia Kane
Author’s photo courtesy of
Jake Viramontez

In an effort to support local communities, raise awareness and funds, Morgan James Publishing donates a
percentage of all book sales for the life of each book to Habitat for Humanity Peninsula and Greater
Williamsburg.
 Get involved today! Visit
www.MorganJamesBuilds.com
 Disclaimer

Please read the following before proceeding further.

The information presented in this book, title I Can’t Believe I Dated Him,
including ideas, suggestions, exercises, techniques, and other materials, is
educational in nature and is provided only as general information. This book is
solely intended for the reader’s own self-improvement and is not meant to
substitute medical or psychological treatment and does not replace services of
health care professionals.
This book contains information regarding Emotional Freedom Techniques
or EFT. EFT looks at and seeks to address stressors and imbalances within a
person’s energy system, as well as the energetic influence of thoughts, beliefs,
and emotions in the body. EFT is based on ancient Chinese acupuncture that
balances an individual’s energy with a gentle tapping procedure. Tapping
stimulates pressure points on the face and body while focusing on issues of
emotional intensity in order to release the intensity and reframe the issues. The
prevailing premise of EFT is that the flow and balance of the body’s
electromagnetic and more subtle energies are important for physical, spiritual,
and emotional health, and for fostering well-being.
Although EFT appears to have promising emotional, spiritual, and physical
health benefits, and there is a growing body of scientific research indicating
that EFT is an effective evidence based technique, especially for managing
stress, EFT has yet to be fully researched by the Western academic, medical,
and psychological communities. Therefore, EFT may be considered
experimental. The reader agrees to assume and accept full responsibility for any
and all risks associated with reading this book and using EFT. If the reader
inadvertently experiences any emotional distress or physical discomfort using
EFT, the reader is advised to stop and to seek professional care, if appropriate.
Publishing of this information contained in this book is not intended to
create a client-practitioner or any other type of professional relationship
between the reader and the author. While the author is an experienced EFT
practitioner and Reiki Master, the author is not a licensed health care provider.
The author does not make any warranty, guarantee, or prediction regarding the
outcome of an individual using EFT for any particular purpose or issue.
By continuing to read this book, the reader agrees to forever, fully release,
indemnify, and hold harmless, the author, and others associated with the
publication of this book from any claim or liability and for any damage or
injury whatsoever kind or nature that the reader may incur arising at any time
out of, or in relation to, the reader’s use of the information presented in this
book. If any court of law rules that any part of the disclaimer is invalid, the
disclaimer stands as if those parts were struck out.
By continuing to read this book you agree to all of the above.
 Dedication

To Lauren, for being proof that even the scariest of emotions will never
overpower love.

And Jake, for redefining love every single day.

 Table of Contents

Part One: Should My Relationship Be This Difficult?

Chapter 1: Relationships are Like Computers
He Won’t Change, But You Will
Your Feminine Gifts
The Purpose of Feelings
Understanding the Problem Doesn’t Change the Problem
Tap Out of Fear
What to Expect

Chapter 2: Feel The Feels

The Truth About Your Emotions
What is Your Emotional Strength?

Chapter 3: Upgrade From Obstacle To Opportunity

Conditioned You vs. True You
The U.P.G.R.A.D.E Formula
Fear is a Flight Attendant
Every Woman Should Be a Buffalo Woman
An Upgraded Woman’s 7 Commitments

Part Two: It’s Complicated

Chapter 4: Uncertainty: Is This Fear Or Intuition?
Addicted to Control
Plug Into Uncertainty’s Message: Where Have I Lost Control?
Release Certainty to Find It
 Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Surrender
Roadblocks on the Route to Surrender
Enjoy the Ride

Chapter 5: Doubt: I Don’t Want To Settle

Plug Into Doubt’s Message: What is the Right Choice?
Monsters Under The Bed
Remember Your Intention
Develop Your Skills
Enjoy the Saving Grace: Courage
Roadblocks on the Route to Trust
Can I Trust Too Much?

Chapter 6: Empathy: He Just Has So Much Potential

When Empathy Becomes An Achilles Heel
Plug Into Empathy’s Message: What is Real Potential?
How Much Compromise is Too Much?
Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Respect
Roadblocks on the Route to Respect
Changing The Past

Part Three: Single

Chapter 7: Shame: I Feel Like a Fool for Dating Him
Plug Into Shame’s Message: What Have I Rejected In Myself?
Self Punishment Doesn’t Change the Past
Be Magnetically Authentic
Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Rebellion
Roadblocks on the Route to Rebellion
Performance As An Identity is Fatal

Chapter 8: Insecurity: I Hate That I Care What He Thinks

Why do I Care What He Thinks
Plug Into Insecurity’s Message: Where Am I Putting my Worth?
Rebuild Shaky Foundations
 Who Do You Worship?
Acceptance Moves Inside Out
Take A Tip From A Cupcake
Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Honesty
Roadblocks on the Route to Honesty
Adopt A Lineage Mindset

Part Four: Dating

Chapter 9: Anger: Why Can’t I Control My Temper?
Anger’s Stereotypes
Plug Into Anger’s Message: What Have I Lost?
Real and Historical Lack
Common Losses That Trigger Anger
Own Your Deserving
Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Empowerment
Roadblocks on the Route to Empowerment
Let Anger Call Up Real Men

Chapter 10: Judgment: I Can’t Stand When He…

The Evolution of Judgment
Plug Into Judgment’s Message: What Is Bad? What is Good?
Judgment Heals
The Shadow Self
Partners Are Supposed to Push Your Buttons
Enjoy Your Saving Grace: Curiosity
Roadblocks on the Route to Curiosity
A Rare Breed

Chapter 11: Leave A Legacy With Your Love

The Healthy & Unhealthy Sides Of Your Emotions
Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping Chart

Acknowledgments
About The Author
Thank You