Bud Watson
THE SIGMA MALE BIBLE
An Ultimate Guide To The Lone Wolf - How To Be A Sigma -
Psychology Of Attraction, Dating Secrets and Strategies. Art Of
Confidence, Habits & Self-Discipline. Sigma Male vs Alpha Male
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First published by Halcyon Time Press 2021
Copyright © 2021 by Bud Watson
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or
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Contents
1. CHAPTER 1: THE LONE WOLF - SIGMA MALE
INTRODUCTION INTO THE WORLD OF
MYSTERIOUS SIGMA MALES
What is a Sigma Male?
Alpha Male vs. Sigma Male
The Silent Superiority and Attraction of Sigma Males
BETA MALE QUALITIES THAT WORK AGAINST YOU
The Lack of Self-Confidence
The Lack of Action
Misguided Attraction
Self-criticism
The Need to Please People
Submissive Behavior
THE TRUE VIRTUES OF SIGMA MALES
Tasteful Rebellion
Uniqueness
Unavailability
Mindfulness
Self-consciousness
Respect and Self-respect
Easily Adaptable
A Man of Few Words
2. CHAPTER 2: SIGMA MIND, SIGMA VIBES
ACCEPT YOURSELF, RECREATE YOURSELF
Practicing Self-love
Practicing Self-esteem
Recreate Yourself
MINDSET MAKEOVER
List Your Goals
Allow Yourself to Grow
The Ultimate DOs for Sigma Males
The Ultimate DON’T’s for Sigma Males
MENTAL STRENGTH AS AN ATTRACTIVE TRAIT
Building Mental Strength
How to Practice and Empower Mental Strength
Finding Your Inner Peace
Meditation and All Its Perks
3. CHAPTER 3: THE SIGMA MALE LAW OF ATTRACTION
THE SECRET BEHIND THE SIGMA MALE
ATTRACTIVENESS
The Lone Wolf Trope
Building a Unique Style
Getting Attention Without Much Effort
Hard-to-Get
Experience the Present, Live in the Moment
Set Your Goals Straight
SIGMA MALE GAME DECODED
Appreciating Yourself
Don’t Get Easily Bothered
Enjoying New Experiences
Attracting Women
Strong Beliefs and Philosophy of Sigma Life
“I DON’T CARE” SIGMAS DO CARE ABOUT THEIR
APPEARANCE
Look Good, Feel Better
Good Health is Half the Confidence
Inducing Mysterious Qualities of Sigma Males
WHY SIGMAS CARE ABOUT THEIR PHYSICAL
APPEARANCE
The First Impression Matters
Sexual Attraction of Sigmas
Lone Wolf Vibe and Confidence
KEEPING UP WITH HYGIENE AND HEALTH
Working Out
Eating Healthy
Dress to Impress – The Silent Heartthrob
DOs and DON’Ts of Attraction
4. CHAPTER 4: BEING SEDUCED BY A SIGMA MALE
MAKING A MOVE
Evaluate the Situation
Don’t Overthink
Assert Your Presence in Sigma Male Style
A Mindful and Casual Approach
THE SIGMA MALE TALK
A Talkative Loner
Make Her Approach You
Keeping Her Interested
Sharing Your Thoughts
Handling Rejection
THE SIGMA MALE CHARM
Sigma Body Language
Reading Body Language
Deciphering Sigma Charm
5. CHAPTER 5: MAINTAINING INTEREST
FLIRTING
Eyes Can Say a Lot
Good Manners
A Few Words May Take You a Long Way
Don’t Crave for Attention
Physical Touch
KEEPING THE GIRL YOU LIKE
Share a Glimpse into Your Mindset
Treat Her Right
Respecting Others
Alone But Together
Listen
Participate
SEX AND SEXUALITY
Share Your Interests
Be Kind and Patient
Enjoy the Moment
Keeping it Fresh and Exciting
6. CHAPTER 6: HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR SIGMA
MALE PERSONALITY
WORKING ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Maintaining Your Mental Strength
Maintaining Your Physical Appearance
Understanding Your Needs and Emotions
Always Seek for Improvement
Seize the Day
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1
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CHAPTER 1: THE LONE WOLF -
SIGMA MALE
I n the socio-sexual hierarchy, an Alpha male is often recognized as the
most dominant man in his social circles, which includes his professional
and personal life as well. An Alpha male is THE one - always the center of
attention, and perpetually direct, assertive, and dominant wherever he steps.
***
Alpha respects himself, has confidence and is not afraid to take the
initiative. He is persistent, mostly aware of himself, and has high emotional
intelligence, so he can always recognize when the time is right. The chances
are that Alpha entices glances whenever he steps into a room, and
somehow, we can recognize his dominance, even though his intentions are
often non-intrusive. In the same social hierarchy, a Beta male is a loyal
lieutenant to his Alpha and is there to support him and often relies on his
well-rehearsed characteristics of an Alpha male.
In this dual nature of socio-sexual hierarchy, there is a male type that
can “compete” with an Alpha – the mysterious lone wolf with a multitude
of characteristics noted in Alphas but with a pinch of bewildering sugar and
spice – the Sigma male.
The Sigma male is equally attractive as Alpha and could probably be
THE Alpha if he wanted to but chooses to stay in the shadows and enjoy his
own time under his conditions. Alphas often subdue to social norms that
demand the man to be strong, independent, and dominant, while the Sigma
male is all those things in his core but with a curious twist – Sigmas just
don’t care!
Are you a Sigma or looking into the world of Sigma males who often
choose to go outside expected social norms? Or are you looking to
become one and achieve your goals with the same ease that natural-
born Sigmas do?
Sigmas are wanderers, loners, lone wolves on a mission to find themselves
and enjoy life to its fullest. They are not afraid to take the initiative but
don’t scorn themselves when they choose not to. It is a fluid type that can
find beauty in productive idleness and in the dynamics of taking action.
Chosen and facultative solitude is a blessing for a Sigma male – he can
grow, learn, enjoy the little things, work on professional and personal
improvements, or just go with the flow and see where the solace takes him.
A Sigma is as comfortable in social situations as in spending some alone
time, so the possibilities are endless and many.
The lone wolf is alone only when he feels like being alone and can
explore life from a different perspective, although that doesn’t mean that his
will can be easily shaken or that his morale is necessarily flexible – while a
Sigma knows what he wants, other people usually have a hard time finding
out what he wants. Hence, the mysterious aura that fits so well to the socio-
sexual archetype of a Sigma male.
You can awaken the Sigma in you without the pressure of becoming an
Alpha but with all social amenities that come with the archetype of the
dominant male type.
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INTRODUCTION INTO THE WORLD OF MYSTERIOUS
SIGMA MALES
Sigmas are the new “it” guys, which seems to be already part of socio-
sexual standards in contemporary times. Simply put, the Sigma male is a
silent Alpha that can’t seem to hide all the “alpha-ness” that he is
projecting. However, he still chooses to live outside standard norms, where
the social hierarchy dominant archetype Alpha exists with his “faithful”
wingman Beta. Sigma is most certainly aware of traditional roles when it
comes to socializing but chooses not to categorize himself as either Alpha
or Beta, nor is he recognized as either of these social types.
Sigma does share a great number of qualities of an Alpha but is in a
sense more introverted in expressing these characteristics, although he is
equally self-confident, decisive, assertive, and even brave.
You may already be able to recognize some similarities you share with
the archetype of a Sigma male; however, we are going to break down the
morphology and anatomy of Sigmas to the very core of their natural
attraction and “near-Zen” lifestyle.
What is a Sigma Male?
In a nutshell, the definition of a Sigma male describes this archetype as a
lone wolf and a wanderer in search of his true self. In perhaps less poetic
words, a Sigma male is a socio-sexual archetype with the near-same
qualities of an Alpha when it comes to dominance but chooses not to
conform with traditional social roles and archetypic categorization.
To create a pretext to the way males are categorized into different
archetype classes, this socio-sexual hierarchy was created by the writer
Theodore Robert Beale, under the name Vox Day around 2010. According
to this hierarchy, males knowingly or unknowingly categorize themselves
as either Alphas, Betas, or Sigmas, while Omegas and Gammas also fall
into this hierarchical division.
An example of a Sigma male that may help you create a picture of how
a Sigma male behaves might be one of the internet’s most favorite movie
celebrities – Keanu Reeves. The press often digs through Keanu’s private
life and ever-hungry fans, so we know that Mr. Reeves is a mindful man
who chooses a solitary path and a modest, fulfilled life over fame and a
lavish lifestyle. This behavior is certainly out of the social norm in the
context of his financial and social possibilities, given his status and
popularity. He is charming, modest, self-conscious, confident, focused on
professional and personal growth, often seemingly unavailable, faithful,
cares for his family and family values, and is also a rather attractive man
with a unique “I don’t care (but I do)” attitude – a fine picture of a Sigma
male.
To stick to our example, he would have every opportunity he needs to
act as an Alpha, but he chooses not to, walking a more solitary but fulfilled
path.
Some of the main qualities that characterize a Sigma male are:
Appreciation of solitude and alone time
Flexibility of perception
Mental strength
Self-sufficiency
Self-confidence
Authenticity and uniqueness
Natural leaders that don’t impose
Self-awareness
Critical thinkers
Can easily fit in but rarely do
Decisive
Close with only a few people
Risk takers and brave
Charismatic
Independent
Effortless attention grabber
Rebellion
Focus
Appreciating the present moment
Non-judgmental
When talking about an archetypical behavior of a Sigma male, we can say
that Sigmas are often other people’s favorites, which includes a great
potential to be favored by Alphas as well; however, not many people can
say that they are a Sigma’s favorite. While Sigmas are attractive and
mysterious, in part for having ambiguous morale and being non-judgmental,
Sigmas choose to live outside social norms and are rarely close to a great
number of people. Many Sigmas don’t have a close friend or have limited
their social circle to a single best friend or two buddies.
A Sigma never relies on other people and rather lives off the grid,
searching for his path where he works on fulfilling his goals, exploring the
world and life itself, or just enjoys living in the moment. Thus, social
challenges that may include competing with Alphas and Betas are of no
concern or interest to Sigmas, which adds to their unavailability – another
attractive trait noted in Sigmas.
He doesn’t care about the hierarchy sometimes out of silent rebellion
and, at times, just because he doesn’t care – a Sigma doesn’t need
gratification from others to take action and is self-sufficient in the sense of
the motivation behind his actions and initiatives.
Just as anyone can transform into an Alpha or a Beta, a status of a
Sigma male is also achievable with another trait that Sigma’s have – the
will for self-improvement. Before you start working on becoming a Sigma
male or improving your “sigma-ness,” let’s see some of the main
differences and similarities between Alphas and Sigmas.
Alpha Male vs. Sigma Male
Sigmas, much like Alphas, are decisive, attractive, and interesting within
their respective social circles and are both natural leaders. Like Alphas, a
Sigma male can fit into most social circles and can be well-accepted by
everyone. Other similarities between Alphas and Sigmas are self-
confidence, self-respect, mental strength, and focus. The ability to attract
other people is also a shared trait between the two hierarchical etiquettes.
Therefore, if Alphas and Sigmas are so similar, what makes them
different, and what are the core traits that set these two types apart?
Even though both Alphas and Sigmas are natural leaders, Alphas
naturally pursue a role of leadership, while Sigmas don’t care about leading
or imposing their leadership on anyone. Whether you like or don’t like a
Sigma, it doesn’t make any difference to him. If a Sigma appreciates
himself and his own company, there aren’t many things in the world that
can make them lose that balance.
Alphas can fit anywhere and are often respected and likable across a
multitude of different social groups, which flatters their character and
motivates them to “stay at the top of their game.” On the other hand,
Sigmas can fit into any social situation or group, but they often choose not
to fit in and don’t feel comfortable with everyone. They likely keep their
social circles narrow and limited to a few people at best. Their trust is hard
to earn at times, and they would not share things with many people.
Along with the self-confidence of a Sigma is self-respect and self-
awareness, which means that Sigmas are often aware of their flaws, as well
as their traits. They don’t try to be liked by everyone, which is the opposite
case with Alphas. Alpha males can employ social tactics to fit in and get
accepted as “in charge,” i.e., as an Alpha of the group. Alphas are often
dominant and won’t accept the possibility of letting someone else take their
spotlight. Alphas have a lot of expectations from other people that they feel
the need to fulfill, such as always being the best version of yourself –
always being dominant – whereas Sigmas don’t feel that kind of pressure.
They live under their conditions and are set to fulfill only those
expectations that they have for themselves. Not caring about what others
think is one of the major differences between Alphas and Sigmas, and guess
which of the two doesn’t care at all!
Alphas may often use other males, Betas, to show off their qualities in
the best light possible and will compare Betas to themselves, indirectly or
directly, mostly in scenarios that involve women and flirting. On the
contrary, Sigma doesn’t need to show his dominance to others to stand out
from the crowd and attract some interest – the lonely wolf trope seems to be
working just fine for a Sigma.
Moreover, while Alphas are dependent in the sense of social acceptance
and gratification received from others to feel like an Alpha and be THE
Alpha, Sigmas are independent and would rather choose off the grid,
“nomadic” lives. Alphas can truly be Alphas in specific conditions, where
they can show their dominance and where they can be heard and seen. In
that sense, Alphas can be described as somewhat extreme extraverts that
feed off the attention they get. Sigmas would rather stay out of this case
scenario and choose silence as one of their strongest attributes. Sigma
doesn’t do anything in exchange for gratification or appreciation, while he
appreciates silence as much as Alphas appreciate dynamic social
environments.
Since Alphas depend on acceptance and gratification, as well as being in
charge, they often don’t perform well in groups where they are not THE
leaders. More ambitious Alphas may see everyone as a threat or
competition or as Betas, professionally or personally. Quite the opposite,
Sigmas function perfectly well in groups and alone, as they appreciate
constructive solitude. While they don’t observe others as competitors, a
Sigma “grades” people by their sets of value and how well they get along
over how much “better or worse” someone is in comparison to themselves.
The need to belong in a certain environment that brings out the leader in
them is very much present in the Alpha’s world – social acceptance,
gratification, and appreciation are the fuel of Alphas. Sigmas don’t require
that form of validation, which is why the need to belong barely exists or
doesn’t exist at all – Sigmas are quite self-sufficient in that sense as well.
The constant need for Alphas to reinsert their dominance and show
everyone that they are “the leaders of the pack” may at times be seen as
repulsive in other people’s perception. That need also erases almost any
sign of humility that may exist in an Alpha male. Bragging,
competitiveness, and intrusive ambition may often be “side effects” of
siding with Alphas.In the same matter, Sigmas have a higher level of
humility as they tend to keep their achievements to themselves – they don’t
need other people to know that they are good or the best at something to
feel good about themselves.
If we summed up the main difference between Alphas and Sigmas, this
differentiating factor would be social pressure or the lack of it in the case of
a Sigma male. While Alpha may be in constant fear of losing his position as
a dominant individual, feeling the pressure of staying at the top, Sigmas
don’t feel the pressure of social validation and acceptance. Sigmas may be
perceived as mysterious and even introverted because of this, but they
rarely care how others perceive them, which relieves the pressure of being
accepted. That leaves Sigmas with living the life they want and being who
they are.
The Silent Superiority and Attraction of Sigma Males
Where an Alpha would rely on social circles to attract and meet women,
often an extrovert, Sigmas rather use a cold approach by being what they
are – mysterious, intriguing, and seemingly unapproachable, which makes
them extremely attractive to women. Alpha may use other people in his
surroundings to show his superiority and attract a potential partner, while
Sigmas will often rely on themselves and on traits they have to offer in such
situations.
Are women more likely to choose a Sigma male over Alpha?
Not always, and it greatly depends on different preferences – some
women prefer Alpha males and appreciate the dominant type it represents,
while others may be hooked to the intrigue of the mysterious Sigma male
who doesn’t talk too much but tells a lot with silence and a few words.
But why do women find Sigmas attractive?
To break down the silent superiority and attraction that many women
have for Sigma males, Sigma males will rarely fully give themselves to a
girl, or almost anyone for that matter. This can make the girl in question
hooked on always wanting more – wanting to find out more about the
Sigma to get close to him and win his affection – in a nutshell, Sigma poses
as someone hard to get.
Playing “hard to get” comes naturally to Sigmas, as they don’t make
themselves unapproachable with the intention to manipulate someone – that
is just their characteristic. However, this trait can be learned and
implemented, even if it doesn’t feel natural. Many Sigmas have rusty social
skills, which is why we can’t say that a Sigma would manipulate someone
into liking them or going after them romantically.
Another trait that makes Sigmas irresistible is their independence.
Women like independent men who work on their goals and know what they
want and how to get it. Independence can even be called the “new sexy,” as
assertiveness and taking action means that you are trying and doing your
best to get where you want in life. Sigmas don’t wait for others to tell them
how to grab their opportunities, chase their dreams and fulfill their goals –
they take action and rely on themselves, which is more than just a sexy trait.
Sigmas accept their responsibilities and are not afraid to face the
consequences of failure. However, in this case, the most important of all is
that Sigmas know how to recover and get up when they are down. Quitting
is not an option for a true Sigma.
Many people, including Alphas, will fabricate their public and social
personality to attract other people and make girls like them. They also
construct a well-worked-out ego to hide all the negative traits they might be
aware of. Sigmas are less likely to hide negative characteristics as they can
learn to improve themselves and accept themselves for who they are, which
is why Sigmas usually feel comfortable in their skin. This case reflects self-
confidence, self-acceptance, and self-improvement goals, which are
likewise attractive to other people. Honesty to oneself and others is an
important aspect of becoming a true Sigma male.
An Alpha male is more likely to calculate the risk of approaching a girl
they like as there is a fear of acting as a Beta in case someone rejects them.
If a girl rejects an ambitious and confident Alpha, he is also more likely to
ask for social gratification and validation elsewhere to feel like Alpha again.
A Sigma knows how to accept rejection and respect different choices. They
rarely impose themselves, which is yet another attractive quality that may
get Sigma a date.
What Sigma knows is that every rejection is a new opportunity to work
on yourself and find out what you are doing wrong.
When a Sigma enters the room where there is an Alpha male in all the
glory of alpha-ness, women are more likely to first notice the extrovert and
often attention-seeking Alpha. However, as the evening unravels, seeing a
Sigma comfortably sitting by himself and glancing over at a girl he is
interested in can even make the girl decide to approach and start talking to a
Sigma - a mysterious and silent guy open for an honest conversation.
Attractive, right?
A Sigma doesn’t have to be physically attractive to be interesting to
women, as his traits and characteristics can compensate for the lack of
physical attraction – the “whatever” attitude, mystery and intrigue, freedom,
ambiguity, and tasteful rebellion is what gives off the “bad boy vibes” that
many girls find attractive. What they are getting is an honest man, a good
listener but a catch hard to get and approach.
The fact that Sigmas don’t comply with the standard and traditional
socio-sexual roles and dominance hierarchy amplifies their attractiveness.
They also refuse to conform with the dominance hierarchy when they could
obviously be Alphas, but they rebel against formal expectations that other
people have for them. They are more likely to dress extravagantly or have a
unique style, while a lifestyle of a Sigma is often different from what is
expected. Different means unexplored, and unexplored entices more interest
and can make the girl you like wonder if you can like her the way she likes
you. What is he thinking? What does he like? What is he like? All these
questions are the product of the aura of mystery that Sigmas reflect that can
help them win the girl and attract other people.
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BETA MALE QUALITIES THAT WORK AGAINST YOU
Betas are usually known as faithful wingmen and good lieutenants whose
role is to support the Alpha in their social circle, but being a Beta is more
complex than just being Alpha’s support.
Betas are not unattractive or unable to be the leaders; they just like to
play safe and often go for less risky choices compared to Alphas and
Sigmas. According to the socio-sexual hierarchy, most men are Betas,
defined as the faithful followers of Alphas. Betas are described as men who
rarely have their vision and philosophy and are more likely to rely on others
to tell them what to do. However, being a Beta is not bad – far from it – if
you are Beta, you are fierce in your own way, loyal and a good friend to
others, always there for people who need your help and can recognize the
value of leadership. This can make them successful and attractive, even in a
room with an Alpha and Sigma.
Even though Betas are open, friendly, supportive, hard-working, and
respect others, Betas have some negative traits that they may share with
other archetypes, like Alphas and Sigmas. The lack of confidence and lack
of action are some of the Beta male qualities that may work against you and
that you may recognize among your traits and characteristics. Here are
some of the main qualities characteristic of Betas that may get in your way
of becoming a true Sigma.
The Lack of Self-Confidence
One of the most important traits that separate Alphas and Sigmas from
Betas is self-confidence. Many Betas have what it takes to either be an
Alpha or a Sigma but lack the confidence needed to embrace a different
archetype in the social hierarchy, so they choose to stay in the back alley
and leave things as they are. There is nothing wrong with being a Beta or
choosing to rely on others for support = after all, Alphas rely on Betas in a
way. However, when it comes to the lack of self-confidence, this case may
push you towards relying on others for important decision-making.
Betas are often afraid of the consequences of their choices, so they
would rather let others choose on their behalf, which can lead to missed
opportunities and unfulfilled potential in their professional and personal
life. The lack of self-confidence may surely keep you stranded on your way
towards becoming a Sigma but don’t worry, we got you covered, as you
will learn how to retrieve your self-confidence and how to trust your own
choices by the end of this guide.
The Lack of Action
With the lack of self-confidence, there is a lack of action just around the
corner. It is difficult to act when you don’t trust your own choices and don’t
think you are good enough or believe in your qualities. Many Betas just
decide to go with the flow, hoping everything will resolve itself – some
things can resolve by themselves, but many call for action. People who take
action and seize every opportunity that comes their way are more likely to
achieve their goals and live the life they want, not the life that others want
them to live. Unfortunately, the lack of self-confidence may restrain your
progress in life as you are less likely to act even on opportunities that
appear once in a lifetime that are perfect for you.
This lack of action and idleness can affect your personal and
professional life and prevent you from exploring life and becoming the best
version of yourself. To resolve this problem, you need to get rid of the fear
you might be hiding within. We will teach you how to become a man of
action as you progress through our guide.
Misguided Attraction
Betas are often “victims” to misguided attraction, which means that some
Betas may have a hard time reading the signs when it comes to being
romantically interested in someone. A great number of insecurities and a
lack of self-confidence may make a Beta feel like he doesn’t stand a chance
with a girl he likes, being misguided and often having poor social skills to
communicate and let other people know what he exactly wants. On the
other hand, Betas are also often emotionally available and can communicate
their emotions openly; however, this may backfire when they are not sure
how to read other people’s emotions. That may lead Betas to either think
they have a strong chance with someone they don’t, or that they don’t stand
a chance with a person who actually shares their feelings. Misguided
attraction is the side effect of the lack of self-confidence, fear, insecurities,
and often poor communication skills. As you move on to the following
chapters, you will learn how to trust yourself, read other people’s emotions
and body language, and attract the good things you want in your life.
Self-criticism
Being self-aware is one of the greatest traits of Sigmas, as Sigmas are
usually very much familiar with their character qualities, the flaws and
traits alike. On the other hand, this awareness may easily turn into self-
criticism and vice versa. Betas usually have many insecurities, which
prevents them from being more dominant and more extroverted in
expressing their otherwise interesting personalities. Recognizing your
shortcomings and flaws is a good thing, as this means that you can improve
yourself and become a better person for your good and for the sake of
achieving your goals more easily. However, there is a fine line between
self-criticism and self-awareness, which can lead to more insecurities and
cause a lack of self-confidence, a lack of action, and some personality
issues that can make you doubt yourself. We are all flawed, and we all have
our qualities; what makes a difference is working on improving yourself.
Before you learn how to stop criticizing yourself for every little thing
that goes bad, you need to learn to love and respect yourself. Luckily, we
have you covered in the upcoming chapters of our guide on How to Become
a Sigma.
The Need to Please People
Betas are usually defined as genuine people pleasers. They are assertive
when it comes to making other people feel good about themselves, which is
an extraordinary trait as long as they don’t forget to please themselves.
Many Betas often put themselves in plan B and take care of other people’s
needs before their own. Prioritizing everyone else’s needs over yours is not
a problem until it starts consuming your life and you realize that every
action you have taken in your life was for someone else’s good or pleasure.
What about yourself? What about the things you want and need?
You need to realize that you are not being selfish if you say “No” when
you feel like saying NO. Being a Yes Man is a good thing when it comes to
seizing the day and achieving your goals, but if you depend on pleasing
others and forget about your own needs, it will harm you in the long run. It
is perfectly fine to go an extra mile for people you love and appreciate and
who love you and respect you back, but pleasing everyone at all times will
take more of the energy you need to become what you want to be. Take care
not to get used and abused by other people, as sometimes others can sense
your inability to say NO and your need to please others. Some people may
exploit you for it, which is why you build up your insecurities and forget
about your own needs and wants. Remember, you are not selfish if you say
NO when you feel like it.
Submissive Behavior
According to the dominance hierarchy, Betas are followers, and Alphas are
leaders. In this case scenario, Sigmas have everything it takes to become a
leader but has no interest in being one. The difference here between a
Sigma and a Beta male is that Sigma has a choice not to be the Alpha, and
Beta chooses to follow a suitable leadership model, which takes the Beta to
submissive behavior. Betas may often be agreeable with their model of
leadership and show a lack of decisiveness and assertiveness, even when
they don’t agree with something.
Betas may also depend on social validation, primarily seeking
acceptance from Alphas, which can make them feel better about
themselves. Thus, the first sign that you are far from becoming a Sigma is
the need to follow other people and the very need for acceptance,
gratification, and validation from others. Once you learn how to appreciate
yourself and recognize your true needs, you will get rid of the signs of
submissive behavior and learn how to become a leader and not a follower.
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THE TRUE VIRTUES OF SIGMA MALES
What may be more attractive than a loud and confident leader is a person
that has all the qualities of a leader and can easily become one but just
doesn’t want to. This would be a Sigma male. Sigmas have a multitude of
virtues that make them attractive to other people, while they don’t even try
to please others or tailor their personalities so that other people appreciate
them.
Sigmas don’t conform unless they are comfortable and never feel the
need to compensate for their nonconformity when it comes to other people.
They just don’t see any value in being bound by other people’s expectations
and norms. Such character leaves a lot of space for personal and
professional growth, as Sigmas are often silent leaders and even innovators,
following their capacities. A true Sigma will always allow themselves to
fulfill their potential and live up to their expectations. We will break down
all the virtues and qualities in detail that make a Sigma what he is - a lone
wolf who doesn’t conform and is comfortable in his skin.
Tasteful Rebellion
Sigmas can often be perceived as reckless because they choose to do what
they want and not what other people want them to do. They rebel against
traditional roles in the social hierarchy and the generally established norms.
The tasteful rebellion is attractive to many people and ladies alike, which,
in part, is why Sigmas are so appealing to others, even if they don’t try to
suit everyone’s taste. There is a strange attraction in nonconformity and
silent rebellion that seems to place a Sigma male on the top of the hierarchy,
yet, he refuses to be a part of it. Rebellion is most certainly one of the most
attractive traits that make Sigma what he is; however, that doesn’t mean that
everyone who refuses to get along with norms is a Sigma. A Sigma is not a
criminogenic person that refuses to comply with the law; he just doesn’t
conform with standard social norms that come with certain expectations –
go to college, find an office job that pays well, buy a house, get married,
start a family, retire and enjoy the remaining years of your life. This
timeline of expectations usually doesn’t sound appealing to Sigmas, who
are often seen for alternatives that can grant them some sort of freedom and
the opportunity to manage their time under their conditions.
Uniqueness
Sigma males often have a unique sense of fashion and know how to attract
people’s interest at first sight, as well as keeping them engaged with their
personalities in the long run, almost effortlessly. Not many Sigmas are
extravagant, but they are certainly unique in the way they express
themselves. More often, the way they dress and groom reflects their non-
conformity, although not many Sigmas are eccentric but most do stand out
from the crowd. This uniqueness is not only seen in their physical
appearance and their style but is also noted in their personality. Sigma is
less likely to follow the well-established norm of working in an office from
nine to five after graduating college, and he is less likely to choose
companionship over his freedom.
The freedom of choice is very important to Sigmas, as they like their
wings spread wide and ready to take flight whenever they feel like it. This
may characterize Sigmas as somewhat volatile in other people’s perception,
but this is just how Sigmas are – unapologetically free. If someone were to
date a Sigma, they would have a hard time controlling his “outbursts of
freedom” and keeping that Sigma by their side. Sigmas don’t like to be
constrained and don’t appreciate anyone trying to control what they do and
how they act. Their choices are their own, and even though these choices
may appear impulsive at times, Sigmas are collected and place major value
on critical thinking and logic.
Unavailability
Unavailability or the fact that Sigmas seem difficult to approach and grab
their attention is one of the key characteristics other people find attractive in
a Sigma male. “Playing hard to get” comes naturally to a Sigma and is far
from being a form of intentional manipulation. Instead, a Sigma is busy
with his own goals and interests, which takes most of his time and focus,
also unintentionally creating an aura of mystery and intrigue. This mystery
and intrigue are what captures people’s attention. By showing people that
you value your own time and space and that you would appreciate it if
others would value it, too, you are setting your availability and the lack of it
to your terms and standards. This quality is appealing to many people who
are attracted to the virtues of Sigmas.
Going deeper into the psychology of this feeling, we can’t seem to miss
that a great number of people enjoy pursuing challenges like capturing the
interest of a Sigma male. It may be difficult to capture Sigma’s attention to
its fullest extent because Sigma doesn’t need other people’s attention to
thrive. This is also why people feel special when they manage to attract
someone whose attention is hard to get and who seems to be impossible to
impress but worthy of impressing - it’s hard to achieve and thus rewarding
once you do.
Mindfulness
Entering the state of mindfulness is not an easy task – it takes some time
and some discipline and dedication but is certainly worth all the time
invested. To define mindfulness, we can say that it is a state of being
present in the moment or the ability to be fully present. Mindfulness also
means being fully over the present events and all the sensations these
experiences involve without having an explosive or radical reaction to what
is going on. It is the ability to be present and stay open-minded as you use
critical thinking and logic to experience different situations in life.
Sigma is known as a mindful type that can enjoy the present to its
fullest and utilize every opportunity he gets. To fully appreciate life and its
endless possibilities while following your dreams is how most Sigmas
“operate.” Mindfulness help Sigmas focus on their goals while allowing
them to enjoy alone time and work on self-improvements, making it one of
the key virtues noted in most Sigmas.
Mindfulness is also practical, as it reduces stress levels, anxieties and
can increase awareness so you can focus on important things in your life, as
well the things you lack so you can pursue them. Mindfulness can be
practiced and learned, and you will have a chance to tackle some of the 101
basics of practicing and mastering mindfulness further in our guide.
Self-consciousness
Sigmas are self-conscious, as we have already pointed out earlier in the
book. This characteristic helps Sigmas be aware of their traits, as well as
their shortcomings and negative characteristics. Of course, nobody is
perfect, but Sigmas are surely trying to live up to their expectations by
working on self-improvement. Without self-consciousness and being fully
aware of your personality traits, improvement wouldn’t be possible.
According to ancient Greek philosophers, one of the biggest tasks in
one’s life is to know yourself. “Know Yourself” was also written on some of
the preserved Delphi temples, where ancient Greeks would come for
answers about their lives, future, and the meaning of life. Today, knowing
yourself still poses a difficult task, as we often empathize with ourselves,
which is more than normal. You can feel other people’s pain, and you can
see other people through your perception, but you will always feel your
pain and emotions the most, above other people’s emotions. This is where
the self-consciousness starts –realizing your potential and the possibilities
you carry through your personality traits. Being self-conscious also allows
you to become what you want to be, as you can see what part of your
personality should be worked on and improved to achieve your goals.
Respect and Self-respect
A Sigma respects himself, but he also respects other people – even though
Sigmas may lack relationships in life and may have a hard time sticking
around in other people’s lives, they respect other people’s privacy, wants,
needs, and philosophies. This allows Sigmas to be nonjudgmental – it’s
very easy for Sigmas to accept the fact that we are all different and perhaps
quirky in our way, so they can get along with practically anyone if they are
motivated to socialize.
By respecting yourself, you acknowledge your personality traits as a
part of you that makes you who you are. That also means that you value
your time and that you won’t settle down for anything for the sake of
pleasing others. Self-respect doesn’t mean that Sigma is placing himself
above everyone else. It rather means that Sigma is very much aware that we
all have the same rights, regardless of the differences in character, skill set,
personality, social class, and other determining factors.
If you are struggling with respecting yourself and others, and you are
aware that there is a problem with self-respect, we got you covered as you
will be able to practice self-respect with a lesson that awaits you in the
following chapters.
Easily Adaptable
A great understanding of other people’s motifs, body language, and
behavior allows a Sigma to be easily adaptable to any situation that may
come his way. This is a rather handy trait in professional and personal life,
as Sigmas can find their way in any social situation and give their best
performance at work, that way making progress in life.
However, Sigma is less likely to adapt to situations and experiences he
is not comfortable with, as Sigmas are anything but conformists. Sigmas
pursue their happiness in life by doing what they like and how they like,
making them independent and brave. Adapting to various situations is an
amazing social and life skill, but Sigmas usually choose not to adapt as they
appreciate living their life under their own terms. However, that doesn’t
mean that a Sigma can’t choose to adapt if he wants to – he has the potential
but usually prefers not to conform. The case is similar to being an Alpha, as
Sigma has all the potential to become an Alpha but rather chooses to stay
out of the social hierarchy of dominance.
A Man of Few Words
A Sigma is a man of few words. If he doesn’t have anything to say that
would provide value to a conversation, a Sigma would rather stay silent.
While Alphas and Betas may be involved in mundane talks that usually
don’t take the conversation anywhere new, Sigmas carefully choose their
words and only speak if they consider they have something clever to say. If
you are a true Sigma, there is no need for unnecessary and unmeaningful
dialogue.
This provides Sigma with a reputation of a rational man and a critical
thinker. At the same time, he is also considered to be even more mysterious
and intriguing as he doesn’t talk too much, thus not revealing much about
himself either. Unlike Alphas that like to point out their virtues and positive
traits, Sigmas will never talk about themselves from that perspective.
Now that you have learned everything there is to know about Sigma
personality, and you know more about the differences and similarities
between different socio-sexual types according to the Vox Day hierarchy,
you can move forward to important lessons and practices that should help
you learn everything about being a Sigma and ultimately assist you in
becoming a Sigma male.
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2
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CHAPTER 2: SIGMA MIND, SIGMA
VIBES
T he words “positive mind, positive vibes” are so deeply ingrained into
modern culture that this maxim has somewhat become a cliché. But
what is interesting about clichés is that these usually carry truthful and
honest messages that have become frequently repeated for a good reason.
We can apply a similar philosophy to our goal of becoming a Sigma male,
as all changes first start from your mind.
We are beings of energy, fueled not only by food and water but with
good (positive) and bad (negative) energy. Positive thinking comes with
many benefits, stress reduction, reduced risk of illness and depression,
better coping mechanisms and fear-free life, and ultimately more quality
life. The chances are that many things that are not going well for you are
induced through negative thoughts and destructive negative thinking, which
can easily become a never-ending cycle of despair if you don’t identify it as
a negative thing that it represents.
Identifying negative thoughts is sometimes not as easy and simple as it
sounds. Some people might have trouble differentiating negative thoughts
for realistic thoughts based on pure logic. This is often the case with people
who have been stuck for too long in the cycle of negative thinking to the
point where it transforms into self-sabotage.
The change starts with your decision to recognize the negative patterns
and implement a healthier way of thinking. Overlooking the good things in
life and focusing on the bad experiences is one of the “side effects” of
negative thinking, which further attracts negative energy in your life that
you can also project onto other people. Imagine that you had a great time
with your friends yesterday – you had some drinks, you talked to a pretty
girl, or you just had a promotion and wanted to celebrate – suddenly, as you
are on your way home, it starts to rain, and you get soaking wet and
splashed on by speeding cars. You can choose to remember this night by the
great time you had before the rain, or you can wallow in negativity and
remember the bad things, i.e., the rain that you couldn’t control that caught
you by surprise.
You can learn to remain positive even in frustrating situations by
“cleansing” your thoughts and identifying negativity that affects your life
and your decisions. You can’t let things that you can’t control affect the rest
of your day or the rest of your week if it makes you feel bad about yourself.
It’s the same case with learning how to become a Sigma. “Sigma mind,
Sigma vibes” should capture the idea of this chapter in a nutshell, as you
will learn how to think like a Sigma to become one.
The first step towards your transformation is to accept yourself, respect
yourself, and learn how to appreciate yourself, so you can recreate yourself
and become what you want to be.
Building self-confidence and self-esteem are steps you will go through
towards reinventing yourself into a true Sigma, along with learning how to
appreciate and trust yourself, how to grow, and how to build and achieve
your goals.
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ACCEPT YOURSELF, RECREATE YOURSELF
The first step towards a genuine change is to accept yourself. After you
accept yourself with all the virtues and flaws and learn how to appreciate
yourself for who you are and who you want to become, will you be able to
truly reinvent yourself and recreate your life to fit your goals, needs, and
wants?
The first step is also the hardest step on your journey to becoming a
Sigma. To accept yourself, you need to be honest with yourself, and while
honesty may not be a problem for you, it may be difficult to stay completely
objective when it comes to being honest about yourself. Analyze everything
about yourself – your goals, needs, achievements, things you are proud of
about yourself, and those things you are not happy about. Write down
everything on paper or on your laptop in a separate document so you can
have a clear and objective insight into everything you like about your life
and those things you want to change and implement new “traditions.”
To help you with the hardest step of all, we break down the road to
acceptance into smaller goals that you can gradually work on towards your
achievement once you accept yourself. You will combine these steps and
work on them daily by dealing with smaller, easily achievable goals, one by
one. By combining these steps for acceptance and the following practices in
this chapter, you should be able to recreate yourself into the true Sigma that
you want to become.
Step 1: Objective Perception
Objectivity is the key factor for identifying your character traits in the
light of logic and reality. Being objective with people we love or appreciate
is sometimes difficult enough, so being in your skin, it is even more
difficult to objectively evaluate yourself. However, objectivity is vital in the
process of acceptance. Be objective and list your virtues and flaws, your
achievements, and your failures. List all the improvements you want to
work on, so you can start accepting yourself for who you are.
Step 2: Be Honest
Be honest with yourself and other people. Honesty will take you a long
way, and you will even feel better, perhaps after you feel a bit worse,
because truth can be painful at times. To deal with the pain, you have
already embraced the reality of things in the first step, and you know what
you are facing and what needs to be dealt with. Be honest about all the
things you would change about yourself and all the things you appreciate
about yourself.
Step 3: Accept Responsibility
Even in experiences that we can’t control, we still retain a portion of
sovereignty over these situations in how we react to them. To get back to
the story of negativity and positivity, we can’t control the rain that caught us
by surprise, but we can control our reaction to the rain, and we may decide
whether we put that unpleasant experience behind us or just move on and
focus on things that matter. Take responsibility for your life, even when it is
not your fault that something bad happened. Take responsibility for choices
that got you where you are in the present, for better or for worse. By taking
responsibility for our actions and choices, we also regain control over our
lives.
Step 4: Admit When You Are Wrong
Nobody is right all the time, and that is a fact. Admitting when you are
wrong can relieve you of the great burden of having to deal with an
avalanche of regrets for not accepting responsibility for your actions. This is
a major step, as it can be difficult to admit to ourselves that we have
wronged. Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes, which is a perfectly
normal thing. What is important is to know how to handle the situation
when you have made a mistake, which is to get the best out of the worst
possible case scenarios.
The easiest way to admit that you were wrong and move on is to
perceive your faults as new learning opportunities and as a way to grow and
improve yourself. This way, you can find the strength within you to shape
your own life and accept reality as it is.
Step 5: Be Aware of Your Strengths
The road to acceptance is now just admitting that you were wrong and
accepting your negative traits and things in life that you want to improve.
You need to be aware of your strengths and virtues and all those things you
like about yourself that don’t need changing. Your strengths will be the
spinning wheel behind your transformation. List all your strengths and plan
on how you can utilize them smartly to achieve your goals.
Step 6: No Fear Allowed
Fear and anxieties are your biggest enemies on the way to accepting
yourself and becoming who you want to be. Often, we sabotage ourselves
with self-inducing fears, negative thinking and a lack of self-confidence. At
the same time, many of us also listen to other people who project their fears
onto us. Fear can paralyze you and prevent you from embracing positive
thinking and inviting positive changes into your life. So, what is the worst
thing that can happen? The worst thing might be to fail, but if you view
failure as a learning curve, you will have no fear about the future, and you
will be truly free.
Step 7: Struggles Are a Normal Part of Reality
All people have struggles; even those who seem the happiest encounter
troubles in life. Life is filled with beauty but is also full of challenges that
can shape you and form your personality. You are the one who chooses how
your personality will change following your actions and reactions. There
will always be a struggle, as it is a perfectly natural component of life that
can serve the purpose of pushing your personal growth. Smartly utilize
struggles by turning every bump on the road into a valuable life lesson that
can take you closer to your goals and help you accept reality without being
biased.
Step 8: Focus on Your Goals
List your goals and think through how you can change and work on
yourself to achieve your goals. You can work on smaller goals and
achievements each day as you are working towards completing major goals,
which should give you the needed self-confidence daily. For example, if
you want to become more fit, you can’t achieve your goal at once. You can
break down the main goal into smaller tasks that will help you achieve
becoming more fit. Create a routine and a plan for your workouts and work
on it every day to stay disciplined. Each day is a small new success that you
build up daily towards achieving a major goal. You can apply micro-tasking
to almost any goal you have. The most important thing is to remain
dedicated and focused on your goals and the best way to reach them.
To accept yourself and recreate yourself, you also need to practice self-
love and self-esteem, so let’s see the best way to reinstate these two
qualities.
Practicing Self-love
How to love yourself? Well, how do you love anyone, for that matter? We
love people even beyond imperfections, sometimes because we see them
through our perception with a filter of improvement, and sometimes we
accept all their flaws and love them anyway. The same thing goes with
loving yourself – you can pretend you are an imperfect perfection and
appreciate yourself as you are without the need to change, or you can learn
to love yourself despite the flaws you can recognize and work on changing
everything you believe should be changed for the sake of a better life.
To practice self-love, you first need to stop comparing yourself to other
people. Comparing ourselves with other people we know and meet is a
perfectly normal thing; however, this is not a good thing, as it increases
self-loathing and unrealistic expectations. You don’t want to be like others;
you want to be yourself. Therefore, you need to focus on your own goals
and needs and work on achieving them regardless of other people’s success
or lack of it. This is another virtue of Sigmas – they are perfectly aware of
people around them and all their qualities, but they are likewise aware of
themselves and their own goals.
Let’s see some of the commandments of self-love so you can practice
appreciation for yourself and remind yourself that you deserve to be loved
and appreciated.
Don’t Mind Other People’s Opinion
A Sigma doesn’t mind the restraints and expectations of society and what
other people think of him. It is important to acknowledge and accept the
opinion of people that care for you and know you very well, but considering
everyone’s opinion is impossible, as you can’t make everyone happy.
Whatever you do, there’s always someone who will not appreciate the way
you lead your life, so don’t try to please everyone – please yourself and
satisfy your vision of yourself and who you want to become. Think about
what is best for you, whatever you do, over considering the expectations
that others may have for you.
Your Looks Match Your Inner State
It’s not all about the looks, and you should avoid pursuing traditional beauty
standards as this may hurt your self-esteem and set unrealistic expectations.
However, looks do matter when it comes to your health and the way you
feel about yourself. So, work out, eat healthily and take care of your body
and hygiene to look good and feel even better. More often, the way we look
outside reflects how we feel on the inside, and we are sending a silent
message to other people. Moreover, you can also feel better the better you
look, so this bond is covalent in a way. Wear the clothes you feel
comfortable and happy in, take care of your health and body, but remember
that the way you look doesn’t affect your inner value.
Get Rid of Toxicity
A Sigma is an independent person who doesn’t share his time with toxic
people and likes to stay away from people who don’t get him and try to
control how they live their lives. This is a perfect example of getting rid of
toxicity that comes from external factors, i.e., from people who don’t mind
their business. Distance yourself from toxic people who bring you down
and also try to identify the toxicity coming from your thoughts. Negative
thoughts are toxic, can bring us down, and have no use in our personal
growth and development. There is no room for toxic behavior and toxic
thoughts on your road to a true change and transformation, as this toxicity
will prevent you from appreciating and loving yourself.
Don’t Wallow in Doubts
Doubt is a major obstacle in building self-love and self-esteem, as we can’t
trust ourselves to make a good decision if we wallow in doubt. Doubting
yourself may keep you far from making progress and make you miss out on
important things and great opportunities in life. You know who you are and
what you are capable of – the only thing left is to trust yourself with all
your potential. Even if your last decision wasn’t the right one, have faith
that you can make things better. Learn from the past instead of regretting it
– this is the only constructive way of perceiving your reality.
Work on Achievements
Achieving something, even the smallest of goals and dreams, can make us
feel better about ourselves and even make us proud of ourselves. Working
on achievements is an important part of your journey, as this is a great way
of inserting positive change into your life while working on achievements is
also a fantastic way of practicing self-love. It will be easier for you to
appreciate who you are if you work on achieving your goals. All the little
victories are significant if you work hard on making it.
You Are Your Number One
There is nothing wrong with thinking about your well-being over other
people’s needs. Some people may perceive it as selfishness, but we are
talking about selflessness to ourselves. It is perfectly all right to put yourself
first sometimes and don’t think about being selfish because of it. However,
if you are always postponing putting yourself first, you will always
prioritize other people’s needs and wants, and it will never be your turn to
work on improving yourself or just enjoying some alone time. Sigmas may
be perceived as selfish, as they prioritize their alone time and the time they
get to have only for themselves, but this is the right way to go if you want
to become a true Sigma and learn how to love yourself.
Be Bold, Be Brave
A Sigma is brave and bold – he is not afraid of speaking his mind and
doesn’t fear being himself in public. You need to realize that your words
matter just like anyone else’s, so don’t be afraid to make the first move,
approach a group of people or take a seat at the table without being called to
join. Consider yourself welcome anywhere and everywhere and practice
your boldness. Start by speaking your mind and expressing yourself – some
people will like you for it, and others won’t, but you know that not
everyone can like you, which is a sign that you are doing quite well.
Don’t Be Mean to Yourself
It is easy and equally painful to indulge yourself in self-criticism when you
have done something wrong or failed in something. What is more difficult
and more useful for personal growth in reciprocity is to be kind to yourself,
even when you feel you don’t deserve kindness. The world is a place of
beauty but also a universe of harsh words and criticism, so the last thing
you need is to add up to all the negativities. Be at peace with yourself
regardless of the situation, and you will be able to love yourself.
Practicing Self-esteem
Self-esteem is the measure of how you place value in yourself and how you
respect yourself. Self-esteem is an ability to believe in yourself and, in a
way, convince yourself that you can achieve anything you set your mind to.
Self-esteem is not directly related to your potential or ability to do
something, as you can be good at something and still have poor self-esteem,
preventing you from improving your abilities or expressing yourself. In
contrast, people with high self-esteem may not be as good at something but
still try and perform the task due to their conviction of capability.
People with low self-esteem generally struggle with expressing
themselves and believing in their ability to do something good, which is
why it is rather important to work on rebuilding your self-esteem. By
practicing self-esteem, you open the doors of endless possibilities, where
you can do anything you want. Even if you fail, it doesn’t matter since you
tried. Trying is what counts in the end.
People with self-esteem don’t have unrealistic expectations but have a
more positive outlook on the world and a more positive perception of their
place in that world, which is why it is easier for them to succeed and
achieve their goals and dreams. A true Sigma has self-esteem and knows his
capabilities, but he also knows that the sky is the limit if you set your mind
to something. A Sigma is willing to try and is also capable of using failure
as a lesson.
If you are struggling with self-esteem, follow these steps to practice
retrieving faith and trust in yourself.
Step 1: Look Good, Feel Good
Sometimes, the very fact that we look good makes us feel good about
ourselves. Even if you don’t feel your best, try cheering yourself up by
wearing your favorite outfit or adding a new shirt to your wardrobe that you
can take on a walk. Looking good will feel good and will help you build
your self-esteem. Whenever you feel like you are having trouble with self-
esteem, put on some nice clothes or wear something that makes you feel
good about yourself. This is an excellent practice for building self-esteem as
it is as easy and simple as putting some nice and comfy clothes on.
Step 2: It’s Not All About the Looks
To be able to fully appreciate yourself and build your self-esteem, you
need to practice loving yourself, even when you don’t feel good and when
you don’t think you look good. This step is directly related to accepting
yourself the way you are and appreciating yourself for who you are and
who you want to become. It’s not all about the looks, that’s for sure, but you
will feel better if you treat yourself with love and care. That’s why it’s
important to sometimes treat yourself, eat healthily, think positively, be
active and enjoy your free time. Many things can cheer you up on a rough
day, and one of these things is accepting that there is a new day ahead with
new opportunities, even when you don’t feel good. Your self-esteem will
benefit if you go easy on yourself.
Step 3: Celebrate All Your Victories
Even the smallest of victories can become a way of achieving greatness,
so every win you make should be celebrated just as a major achievement.
The easiest way to achieve your goals is to complete smaller goals that you
can set for yourself. Each of these small victories is a step closer to what
you want and need, so there is no harm in patting your own back whenever
you complete a small goal. This way, you are also practicing self-esteem as
your approval will help your confidence on the road to becoming more
independent and opposing external factors that can compromise your self-
esteem.
Step 4: Say NO to Negativity
Negative thoughts and negative people are some of the biggest foes
when it comes to tarnishing your self-esteem. Negative thinking can be
compared to having an intruder in your mind that constantly messes up
everything, making you feel inadequate, not good enough, and overall bad
about yourself and your life. Negative thoughts are often all that it takes to
ruin one’s self-esteem, which is why it is important to identify toxic
thoughts and cut them at the root. Replace the negative thoughts with
positive thinking, and you are on the way to increasing your self-esteem.
Life is too precious to make yourself your own worst enemy.
Step 5: Avoid Comparisons
Comparing ourselves to how other people look or what others have or
can do is a one-way ticket to creating a set of unrealistic expectations that
can harm your self-esteem and ruin your chance to become a true Sigma. A
Sigma doesn’t compare himself to other people – he may have role models
and icons, but a Sigma will never compare his life to the life of someone
else. Sigmas like to enjoy life and work on tailoring life to suit their needs
and wants, which is how they can easily focus on achieving their goals.
Sigmas don’t care if they are not the best at something if they find joy in
that activity and avoid comparing themselves with others who may be better
at the same activity. Set your expectations and follow them towards
achieving your goals. Your self-respect and self-esteem will grow as you
stay true to yourself and your vision of life.
Step 6: Give Yourself a Praise
You may be your own worst enemy when it comes to criticism. If you
overly criticize yourself, you are struggling with self-esteem but also with
patience. It takes time to embrace positivity and welcome positive changes
into your life, so cut yourself some slack, enjoy and live in the moment like
a true Sigma, and give yourself praise. Instead of criticizing yourself
whenever you make a mistake or fail, start praising yourself for every
achievement, however small it may be. Praising yourself will also make you
feel better about yourself and motivate you to keep on trying and working
hard to implement new and positive changes into your everyday life.
Recreate Yourself
To truly recreate yourself, you need to practice acceptance, self-love, and
self-esteem. We recommend working on smaller goals towards achieving
greatness day to day until you reach the final stage of your journey towards
becoming a Sigma male.
You can reinvent yourself without compromising the things you like and
appreciate yourself, while you can also work on improving your positives.
Follow these simple steps to complete and finalize the first stage of
recreating yourself as a Sigma male who believes in himself and is aware of
his capacities and possibilities.
Step 1: Get Rid of the Physical Clutter
Things that we keep and don’t use or need just take up the space that we
could otherwise use more wisely. They also contribute to the feeling of
entrapment and may prevent us from moving on to a more quality stage of
our life.
Decluttering is a must on your journey to reinvent yourself as you will
make more room for new things to come. It will also be easier for you to
find your new self once you get rid of the excess and unnecessary things
you have been piling up around your home. You can throw away, donate,
recycle, or sell the things that you no longer need or identify with, so start
decluttering for a better version of yourself. You are guaranteed to feel
instantly better and almost reborn once you clear out all the things that you
no longer need.
Step 2: Get Rid of the Emotional Clutter
Emotions can also be piled up as things, having an even worse effect on
your mental health and state of mind. Emotional clutter can be defined as a
mess of emotions that remain unresolved or misunderstood (by yourself) for
a long period. Emotional clutter is more difficult to deal with than physical
clutter, of course, as you can’t see or physically remove emotions. More
often, you don’t even understand what is going on in your mind once the
emotional clutter starts negatively affecting you.
The best way to deal with emotional clutter is to trace and identify your
own emotions whenever you feel like you need to. Start by asking yourself:
“How do I feel right now?” or “How do I feel today?” Try to identify the
entire spectrum of emotions you are experiencing at a given moment, then
ask yourself: “Is there a reason for this feeling?” or “Why do I feel this
way?” The answers to these questions should help you keep track of
emotional clutter and negative emotions that should be resolved.
When it comes to a resolution, there is another question to ask yourself:
“Can I do something at this moment to make myself feel better?” If there is,
you should try and declutter the negative emotions standing in your way.
There is always something you can do to declutter. One of the most
effective methods is to rationalize negative emotions, make peace with the
way you feel, and “replace” the negative emotion with a positive one. When
you are feeling blue, try doing something that you particularly enjoy.
Planning your future self and listing your goals may also help you feel
better.
Step 3: Focus on Positive Things
Regardless of how grim and unwelcoming your day may be or seem to
be, there is always a good thing to focus on and look forward to. It is as
simple as believing that the next day will be better than the last, and if that
isn’t the case, then you can always count on the day after tomorrow and the
day after that, and so on. The sun will always rise, and each sunrise is a new
opportunity for you to shine and start over. Think about your plans rather
than reproaching yourself over past failures and mistakes. Focusing on
positive things will help you induce the needed positivity into your life in
the long run.
This is more difficult than it sounds, but you shouldn’t be intimidated
by obstacles. Your self-esteem may only rise with your ability to master
these obstacles. Go an extra mile for yourself and for the sake of changing
your life into a perpetual set of positive thoughts and positive actions.
Step 4: Create a Healthy Routine
Having a routine is important when you are working on becoming the
best version of yourself, especially when you are trying to stay away from
toxic people and negative thoughts. Create and plan a routine that is healthy
for you and you feel comfortable with. Exercising, a healthy diet plan,
keeping your place clean, and both productive and fun activities should be a
part of your daily routine. Make sure to include your practices and lessons
for appreciation, self-love, and self-esteem with other exercises we will
provide you with.
The best way to create a valuable and healthy routine that will affect
your life positively is to make a list of activities to implement into your
daily routine. It is also important to stick to your routine, which requires
motivation and dedication. Your greatest motivation may be becoming a
true Sigma male.
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MINDSET MAKEOVER
We all change. Change is an inevitable thing that you can always count on.
Change is also one of the rare certainties we have in life – whether you
control the change or the tide of change controls you, life itself is in
perpetual motion through the concept of metamorphosis and transformation.
You have a choice to control the way your life is changing to some
extent, while you need to accept some changes as somewhat independent
and considered out of your control. These changes are more likely to be
related to other people and other external factors, while you can, in great
part, participate in changes that are connected to your inner self –
personality improvements, lifestyle changes, and, of course, changing your
mindset.
Changing your mindset is essential for embracing the new you and
becoming a true Sigma male who knows what he wants and how to get it.
We are sharing several exercises and practices that can help you with your
mindset makeover.
Exercise 1: Practice Meditation
Practicing meditation can start from simple breathing exercises to help
you settle down your thoughts and explore your mind. Meditation is also
beneficial in reducing stress, inducing relaxation, and will also help you
transition to a more mindful state.
Start with simple breathing exercises; breathe in and breathe out in
equal intervals so that it feels natural to you. We will show you how to
meditate, step by step, in one of the following chapters while you are
practicing your breathing technique. We recommend finding a peaceful
place in your home where you can’t be disturbed. Turn off your phone and
mute all potential distractions. Whether you put on some relaxing music is
up to your preferences – the only thing that matters is to relax and exercise
your breathing techniques. A simple breathing technique where you breathe
in and out in natural intervals can help you focus and concentrate, as well as
relax and relieve the stress you might be dealing with.
Practice for at least 5 minutes a day on two separate intervals for a
week, then increase the exercise time to 10 minutes per two intervals. The
perfect time of the day for this exercise is anytime, so choose the part of the
day that best suits you.
Exercise 2: Work on Self-development
As we discussed earlier in the book, every new day is a new opportunity
to explore your possibilities and options and make a step towards improving
yourself. Make sure you always have time to work on self-development, so
whether you’re working on breathing exercises, learning a new language or
a skill, you should always have time for yourself. By committing to your
goals every day, little by little, you are getting closer to the goal of
becoming a Sigma. Sigmas are pretty much aware of themselves and their
surroundings, so they know how to utilize this skill to their advantage in
terms of self-improvement and progress. Most importantly, make self-
improvement your number one priority. Every change begins with a small
step, and thousands of small steps make a journey.
Exercise 3: Induce an Epiphany
The definition of epiphany is a moment of great realization and sudden
revelation, which is crucial for making lifelong changes that will affect your
personality and your daily life. In this case, you want to learn how to
become a Sigma who is not afraid to speak his mind and is overall self-
sufficient, strong, and focused on self-improvement. Ask yourself a
question, “What made me want to change?” Reflect on everything that you
have achieved in your life and the things you want to achieve and succeed
in. This way, you are inducing an epiphany, which should help you see your
possibilities and have an overview of your past experiences and choices.
Now that you’ve asked yourself a question and provided an answer,
what did you learn about yourself? What needs to be changed? What is it
that you were doing wrong? How can you make improvements? What
needs to be improved?
Let’s see what else you can do to trigger a full mindset makeover and
learn how to become a Sigma.
List Your Goals
We’ve already discussed listing goals in earlier sections, where we
suggested making a plan to have a clear outlook on what you want to
achieve in life. We also recommended working on achieving smaller goals
daily towards completing the main goals you have listed – that way; you
will gain daily satisfaction, which should motivate you to keep on going
until you achieve your dreams. You already have a list of life goals you
want to achieve, while you should have another list of goals closely related
to your transformation. We have already listed all staple qualities and
characteristics of a Sigma male that you should practice and adopt to
become one, while you also know which traits are not welcome if you want
to go through a full Sigma personality makeover.
Write down all the new traits you would like to have that match the
personality of a Sigma male you want to become, so you can work out a
plan for getting where you want to be. As with the previous list of life goals,
create small goals that you can complete every day for the sake of both
satisfaction and progress.
For example, your list should look something like this:
1. I want to be brave
Practice:
Speak your mind
Express yourself
Make the first move
Take initiative daily
1. I want to be decisive
Practice:
Make your own choices
Rely on your wants and needs
1. I want to be self-sufficient
Practice:
Spend quality alone time
Work on your goals and improvements (check, already doing it!)
1. I want to be mindful
Practice:
Meditate
Reflect on your emotions and motivations
Trace negative thoughts
Embrace positivity
1. I want to be attractive
Practice:
Work out
Eat healthily
Keep up with grooming and hygiene
Dress up to feel good
Add as many makeover goals as needed while also adding practices and
activities that can help you achieve your goals, little by little every day. The
most important thing to note is that you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself –
it is important to be consistent, but it is more crucial to follow up with
changes and practice under terms that make you feel comfortable.
Pressuring yourself may also stress you out and even make you give up on
your goals.
Allow Yourself to Grow
When we are kids, we are constantly going through different changes. We
grow mentally and physically in a continuous fashion, and we don’t even
notice. Once we grow up, we change at a slow pace when it comes to
physical aspects and growing older; however, we can control the way we
change mentally if there is appropriate motivation and dedication. As
children, we could accept these changes lighthearted, wanting to be
stronger, smarter, and older, while in adulthood, we often associate growth
with growing older, which is not a favorite part of adulthood for many.
Growth is often associated with growing older, an irreversible change
feared by many adults – we all appreciate youth and all its perks but often
forget the perks of growing wiser as we grow older. This is how growth
may also be associated with fear, so some people restrain from changing
anything about themselves, fearing these changes. Growth is part of a
human journey, and we grow from the day we are born to the day we are no
longer here. As mentioned before, change is inevitable but is not always bad
and doesn’t need to be perceived as negative. Some changes – like getting
older – can’t be controlled, but you can control how you change your
mindset and your outlook on the world and yourself. The very fact that you
have come this far in the guide means that you are ready to embrace change
and everything that comes with it, which is already the first step towards
changing – acceptance.
Once you accept yourself and decide to change things you believe
should be changed, you will welcome transformation into your life. Allow
yourself to grow by expelling the fear of change out of your mind and out
of your life.
The Ultimate DOs for Sigma Males
To help you on your journey towards changing your mindset following
Sigma male traits and virtues, we are listing the ultimate DOs for the sake
of guidance. Let’s see the definite DOs in a life of a mysterious Sigma who
appreciates independence, values differences, and enjoys working on self-
improvement.
1. Spend Quality Alone Time
We have already emphasized the importance of solitude in the life of a
Sigma male. To change your mindset to fit the lifestyle and ways of a
Sigma, you should try and spend quality time alone. That doesn’t mean that
you should isolate yourself against your will but rather means that you
should try and enjoy your own company whenever you are alone. Spend
some quality time with yourself regardless of whether you are just chilling
and enjoying idleness or working on improvements. Spending some alone
time will allow you to know yourself better, which is more than helpful on
your journey of changing your mindset and becoming a Sigma.
1. Speak Your Mind (With Fewer Words)
A part of Sigma’s tasteful mysteriousness is due to the appreciation of
speaking your mind with fewer words. Sigmas are essentially men of few
words; they will try to convey a clear message and express their opinion
without convincing others or trying too hard to make other people
interested. This aspect allows Sigmas to relieve the pressure that many
people have when it comes to communication with other people. Instead of
debating and explaining yourself, speak your mind and share your thoughts
in a casual way that doesn’t pressure you into convincing someone to accept
your opinion – what is important is that you respect that others may not
agree with everything you say.
A Sigma can tell a lot with only a few words without the need to make
someone accept his thoughts and beliefs, which is where his strength lies.
So, don’t feel that you must explain yourself unless you want to spend more
time talking with someone you may like.
1. Learn More
Just like you can grow as a person your entire life if you don’t choose
stagnation, you can always learn something new. Learn more about things
that interest you and explore new interests to keep an open mind and
introduce diversity to your life. Sigmas love succeeding and achieving goals
and are always ready to learn more and gain new experiences. That means
that Sigmas also require more personal space to fulfill themselves and
pursue their dreams, often placing this need above everything else.
Sometimes, “everything else” also includes relationships. A Sigma won’t
settle with a relationship with a person who doesn’t understand this need to
always learn, grow, and create new experiences. Learning is important for a
Sigma to bloom.
1. Create Your Own Rules
You don’t need to comply, and as a Sigma, you don’t want to or think you
have to. In the hierarchy, Alpha is the type that creates standards and sets
the rules for others to follow, always competing for attention and depending
on validation. Sigmas create their own rules to follow – they don’t impose it
on anyone, nor express it, but follow their own rules that often defy
conventional expectations that other people have for you.
So, for example, if you want to move to another country or start a
business of your own and leave your nine to five job and someone tells you,
“You can’t do that” – they say it because it’s some kind of a rule that may
be in line with the general conviction of their surroundings, which could be
“You can’t take such risks.” In reality, you can take a risk and have a leap of
faith, changing whatever you want in your life, whether that’s the country
you live in, your job, your surroundings, etc. – anything. That is how you
set your standards and your own rules. If you make a drastic change in your
life that you believe can change your life for the better, you should consider
it regardless of what other people say.
1. Be Present
A true Sigma can fully experience every situation and emotion because he
can live in the moment. The ability to be present is extremely important for
Sigmas, as being mindful allows them to learn more and satisfy their
curiosity. Being present and living in the moment is also beneficial as it can
reduce the stress after a bad day, while it can also mitigate anxieties over
future and everyday problems.
The Ultimate DON’T’s for Sigma Males
1. DON’T Adapt to Other People’s Expectations
This ultimate DON’T is closely related to creating your own rules and
setting your standards. You don’t need to comply if you don’t want to.
Other people who may not be considerate with differences will always have
expectations carved by their own life experiences.
A problem that some people have is the inability to empathize with
people and accept other people’s differences, which is not the case with a
Sigma. Sigmas acknowledge and appreciate different opinions as they can
understand the differences between people and perceptions. This allows
Sigmas to understand morale as an ambiguous creation. So, while others
may not understand the expectations that you have for yourself, you should
focus on your goal and not adapt to their expectations.
1. DON’T Sabotage Yourself
You can be your worst enemy if you choose self-reproach over praising
yourself and providing the self-validation that your confidence needs.
Practice tracing and getting rid of negative thoughts related to fears and not
reality. This way, you see a clear version of reality and cut yourself some
slack. Don’t criticize yourself for every little thing that goes wrong – this
way, you are sabotaging yourself, which can negatively affect your progress
and self-improvement.
1. DON’T Indulge in Self-appreciation
Appreciating yourself is a major perk as it allows you to strengthen your
confidence and enjoy life to its fullest. Self-appreciation can also boost your
ego, especially when you are doing well without anyone’s help, validation,
or gratification except for your own. In case you are overly content with
yourself, you may display a dose of arrogance that will prevent you from
seeing the real self. In this case, it may happen that you completely
disregard your negative traits and exaggerate the brilliance of positive ones.
1. DON’T Fear the Change
Sigmas don’t fear the change – they embrace it and take the best out of it.
Change is one of the rare certainties in life as everything changes, including
ourselves. Sigmas often find changes exciting and welcome transformation
with eagerness.
1. DON’T Be Pressured into Blending In
Many people are pressured into fitting in and blending in, while the two
concepts are not the same. Fitting in is not a strange thing for a Sigma male
– a Sigma can fit in in almost any social group, as Sigmas have broad
interests and are usually attractive physically and mentally to other people.
Blending in is different, as a true Sigma would never try to blend in and be
like everyone else just to fit in. Fitting in is an important social skill, as you
can easily make friends and communicate with people, but blending in is, in
a way giving up on your individuality for the sake of acceptance.
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MENTAL STRENGTH AS AN ATTRACTIVE TRAIT
People who are mentally and emotionally strong are incredibly attractive to
others. Many women would rather choose to date a mentally and
emotionally strong person over a physically strong individual. Physical
strength is, of course, attractive as well, but it is a superficial quality that
doesn’t offer any value in relationships and intellectual tasks. Aligning the
strength of your body with the strength of your mind is a perfect
combination. Ancient Greeks believed that physical health is equally
important as mental health and that the two combined should be a standard
of a healthy and intelligent person – a healthy mind in a healthy body.
Sigmas detest frivolity and superficial qualities, which is why most
Sigmas like to focus on building their mental strength; however, it is
important not to neglect your exterior, which is your body. “I don’t care”
Sigmas do care about their bodies after all.
When it comes to mental strength, it is important to thicken your skin
regarding how you experience negative and stressful situations and how
you resolve and live through problems and complications. A strong body
won’t help you there, but a strong mind will. Struggling to accomplish
something and focusing on your goal regardless of difficulties is a sign of
mental strength. We all have problems, and what counts is how we act and
react to these problems. Will you resolve the things that trouble you, or will
you sink in despair and wait for the worst to pass? The difference in the
choice between the two is also the difference between mental strength and
weakness.
We share some of the most effective methods and practices to help you
build and rebuild your mental strength, which will help you resolve and
accept your problems more easily as you complete your transition to Sigma.
Building Mental Strength
Changing and constantly striving to achieve your goals can be stressful and
also a major test of your mental strength. Admitting that some things about
you need to be improved and changed is also a sign of mental strength.
Mental strength is the measure of how well we can handle any situation,
particularly stressful experiences.
Like physical strength and fitness, mental fitness can also be practiced,
as mental strength is not a trait but rather a process of practicing the
strength of your mind and stability of your emotions. Building mental
strength thus requires time and practice but should bring many perks to
your everyday life once it’s achieved, starting from easily handling even the
most stressful situations and achieving your goals.
Mental strength reflects our ability to handle negative and stressful
situations in life and also shows our resilience in terms of psychological
capacity. Mental strength is beneficial when it comes to living your life to
the fullest and being able to experience negative situations without letting
go of the good things that make you happy and that you have in your life.
Mental strength will also help you become a more creative person and help
you recognize the opportunities presented to you.
Here are some of the ultimate strategies that can help you build your
mental strength and acquire a psychological capacity of a true Sigma male.
#1 Avoid Multitasking
In the modern age, multitasking has become almost a standard
regardless of what you do – doing more than one thing at a time may be
seemingly productive, but the word “seemingly” is there for a reason, as
focusing on multiple things all at once is not productive and won’t provide
you with best results. Essentially, multitasking is a myth, as our brain just
doesn’t have the potential to fully commit to more than a single task at a
time. You can’t utilize all your capacity if you don’t focus on one thing.
Focus on one thing at a time and live in the present, as this is one of the best
strategies for building your mental strength – other tasks and problems can’t
affect you while you are focused on a single problem that you need to solve.
#2 A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body
We have already emphasized the importance of having a healthy mind
in a healthy body and aligning the progress of both to get the best results.
To assure a healthy mind, you also need to take good care of your body,
which means exercising and keeping up with an active lifestyle. You don’t
need to exercise more than 15 to 30 minutes a day, and you can use any
routine you like – running, swimming, training in a gym, or just walking –
it all works great for building your physical and mental strength. Exercising
also encourages the production of serotonin, also known as the hormone of
happiness.
#3 Self-care Time as a Must
Self-care time is a definitive must – it will allow you to decompress and
enjoy the little things instead of constantly working on completing tasks and
achieving goals. Everyone needs a break, and taking a break to enjoy a
book, your favorite show, or working on a hobby of yours all count as self-
care time. Set aside some time, at least an hour a day, only for yourself.
#4 Visualize the Positive
Visualization is a powerful tool, as it can help you identify the future
vision you have for yourself. Envisioning the future outcome of your
actions, choices, and decisions is a normal part of, well, being human. We
all can’t help but consider the outcome of our choices, which is what
decision-making is based on. With Sigmas, visualization may be an
important part of the deductive process, as it empowers critical thinking.
Visualize the positive outcomes over negative ones that can be produced by
fears and anxieties about the future. Negative thoughts can result in
negative visualization, which may further discourage you from making your
own choices like a true Sigma.
#5 Create a Favorable Setup
The first step towards succeeding is preparing yourself for success, or
rather setting yourself up for success. But what does that mean, and how do
you do it? It’s easier and far less complex than you might think, as it all
starts with small things. For example, if you plan to become fit and stay fit,
you should get rid of all the triggers that may put you off track on your path
to fitness. If you want to learn more about something or learn a new skill,
sign up for a course or start reading. You can make a list of all activities that
you would like to do in a day to make an organized schedule or a general
outlook on what you want to achieve. This way, you can be reminded that
you are set up for success.
How to Practice and Empower Mental Strength
Practice makes everything better, so we present you with some useful
lessons and exercises that will help you practice and empower your mental
strength. Start from the five strategies listed in the previous section to set
yourself up to increase your mental strength, one of the greatest strengths
that describe a Sigma male.
Practice #1: Controlling Emotions
Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean that you should mute your
feelings and neglect your emotions – it means that you can identify negative
emotions and utilize them constructively and positively. Let’s say that you
feel angry at the moment. What does this anger do for you? Does it make
you feel better or solve the problem that made you angry in the first place?
No. What anger does is block your attention and divert your focus, so you
can’t concentrate on the things that matter. What you can do is to divert that
anger and turn it into motivation. Being aware of this anger can serve as a
reminder of what is important in your life.
Now, you can do this for every emotion, which includes desperation,
sadness, fear, frustration, and other emotions that we experience as
negative, and that makes us feel uncomfortable. Let’s say that something
made you sad, and you are feeling blue with no obvious reason to be happy
or feel joy. Sadness will demotivate you and prevent you from continuing to
try and give your best. You can either wallow in sorrow – which we do not
recommend in any circumstance, or you can consider changing things that
make you sad, whether that is a person, your surroundings, or your behavior
patterns.
Practice #2: A Bit Better Than Yesterday
Every day is a new opportunity that brings a brand-new set of
possibilities that you can ignore or reach out for. Treat each day as a new
opportunity and a way to become a bit better than yesterday. Micro progress
is still progress and will take you a long way in the long run and help you
practice your mental strength. You can start with trivial things like
reorganizing your wardrobe, cleaning your place, and getting rid of the
things you no longer need, or you can start a new course, try a new hobby,
or whatever you think would help you do something good for yourself and
your future day to day.
Practice #3: Consider New Things
We’ve just mentioned getting a new hobby or starting a new course,
which is another great practice for exercising your mental strength. Leave
your comfort zone and try something you’ve never tried before or do
something that you’ve always wanted to do and never had the time or
courage to go through with it. What is stopping you from trying new things
and exploring new possibilities? Only you can set your limits, and it is in
your best interest not to set boundaries when it comes to learning new skills
and trying something new that could improve your life. Trying new things
will make you mentally stronger, as you will be prepared for the unexpected
and comfortable with the changes that come as a surprise.
#4 Create a Safe Place
Safety is a staple necessity to humans as we all appreciate comfort and
enjoy the general feeling of being guarded and protected. Some people find
protection from potential harm by keeping their emotions neglected. Some
prefer healthier ways of coping with potentially getting hurt – they create a
safe place where they can take a break and assess their emotions by
identifying the factors causing these negative feelings.
Creating a safe place where you can just vent out all the negativities can
help you become mentally stronger, as you can approach your emotional
state from the viewpoint of a critical thinker that a Sigma male represents.
That way, you can go through potential case scenarios and pick an action
that works in your favor – consequently, you are creating a positive
reaction, i.e., outcomes. As a huge plus, you will be able to deflect any
negativity coming your way in the future.
For example, if you’re having a hard time, go on a weekend getaway
somewhere where you can appreciate the beauty of nature and all its sounds
and sights. Nature can also help us reconnect with ourselves, strengths and
weaknesses alike.
#5: Work Towards a Purpose and With a Purpose
Finding a purpose will keep you “anchored” and help you find the
motivation needed to achieve your goals and make a change. Whenever you
feel like you can’t go on and miss completing your daily goals that lead to
achieving a major goal, remind yourself of the purpose of getting back on
track. Having a purpose means that you are not lost and that you are striving
towards something in life. Why do you want to make a change and become
a Sigma? Why do you want to learn something new, find a new job, or
change your behavior? Once you answer all your “Whys,” you will know
your purpose.
Finding Your Inner Peace
Stress, anxiety, worry, fears, frustrations, fast-paced days, weekends that
seem to be shorter from week to week, and the overall chaos of the modern
world call for a state of inner peace. The hectic tempo that many of us have
and the difficulties involved in resolving problems can take a toll on anyone
after a while, which is why it is important to learn how to find your inner
peace.
Inner peace can be described as the state of happiness and content
where you are not affected by external factors of chaos and stress. This state
is achieved by reconnecting with yourself and peeking into your very
essence - your mind and your emotions. Inner peace can be achieved by
practicing acceptance, so we recommend revisiting the chapter on
Practicing Acceptance to reaffirm the lesson and reinforce that you accept
yourself the way you are and the way you want to be.
Now, we have already resolved the problem of what to do to find inner
peace, which is to accept yourself, practice self-love, self-appreciation, and
exercise your mental strength – but what about the things you SHOULD
NEVER do if you wish to find inner peace. Let’s see what you should avoid
as you are practicing self-acceptance and mental strength to find your inner
peace.
1. Happiness is NOT Defined by Achievements
We defined inner peace as the state of happiness, while many of us often
associate happiness with things we have and the goals we have achieved.
Achieving goals can grant you happiness, but striving for achievement is a
never-ending journey – as soon as you have completed one goal, you will
find the next one to strive for, and it is almost certain that this will happen
again and again and again. Each new goal achieved will lead to creating
more goals. But what about the time spent in between achieving your goals
– are you only happy when you achieve something?
Happiness can be found within you, which is how inner peace is
achieved. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can only be happy
once you achieve everything you want, as this philosophy will grant you
pressure and some rather unhappy times of struggle. Instead, reflect on what
you already have and be thankful for everything you have achieved by far
as you are focusing on new achievements.
1. Don’t Fear Your Authenticity
Many people try to hide that they are different, some because they fear
being judged, and some don’t feel comfortable expressing themselves. This
is quite the opposite of Sigma philosophy, as Sigmas are not afraid to be
authentic and don’t mind the judgment, while they are the ones that don’t
judge in the first place. Once you learn to embrace your authenticity, you
will be in a happier place and at peace with yourself. Don’t be afraid to
show your true emotions and express yourself. Once you reject the fear of
being rejected or judged, you will become a more content person.
1. Dominate Your Anger
Anger is one of the most intense feelings considered to be a negative
emotion, as it has destructive effects on the person experiencing this
emotion. Your anger can’t cause anyone to suffer but yourself, eating out
the positivity in your life and meddling with your focus. To diminish the
effects of anger, you shouldn’t act on it or try to suppress the emotion to
feel better – you should dominate your anger and use it productively.
Suppressing your anger will take you nowhere and only make you feel
worse about yourself, others, and your life in general. Instead, you should
own your anger and use it as a creative force. Consider the reasons for
feeling angry and turn these into a new plan while anger will be your
motivation. It is like taming a wild animal – you should approach it with
patience, care, and prudence.
1. Avoid Comparisons
We all want to be happy - it is as simple as that. But things are far from
simple once we create a “happiness bar” and start comparing the level of
happiness we feel with the fabricated idea of how happy we should be. That
is how many people compare their state of happiness with other people’s
happiness as well. This negative behavior can put you down and make you
feel bad, even when you are happy, as you might think that you should be
happier or that your happiness will soon end.
To find inner peace, you should try and be present when experiencing
not only happiness but also other emotions, the good and the bad alike.
Practice mindfulness, acceptance, and deal with your emotions with a
critical mind and diligence. Enjoy the happy times without comparisons,
and you will be a step closer to finding inner peace.
1. You Don’t Need to Be Doing Something All the Time
Modern people are obsessed with productivity to the extent where many of
us feel guilty in idleness. It is perfectly fine to take a break and have a
streak of days of just doing nothing about your goals.
How do you feel when you take a break and take a trip to the seaside,
for example? You are sunbathing, swimming, maybe meeting some new
people, enjoying some free time, etc. You probably take seven to ten days or
more on your vacation, feeling refreshed afterward. The same thing goes
with selective idleness. You can choose to take a break without feeling
guilty about not working on your goals at that moment. Take a break and be
present. Live in the moment and place everything on a pause when you feel
like you need to get some rest. You will “return” a stronger man in touch
with your inner self, which is how you find inner peace.
Meditation can also help you find your inner peace, relax, relieve the
stress induced by a hectic life, and prepare yourself for major changes. Let’s
see how meditation can help you on your journey to becoming a Sigma
male.
Meditation and All Its Perks
Meditation has numerous perks, including helping you find the balance you
need, finding inner peace, teaching you how to be present, and relieving
stress and anxiety. Meditating is also rather simple and easy, as it starts
from practicing breathing techniques and letting your mind wander.
Meditation will help you relax and pause the things happening around you.
There are numerous types of meditations; we will be focusing on
Mindfulness meditation and Guided meditation.
Mindfulness Meditation
Mindfulness meditation can help you experience the present and live in
the moment by focusing on sensations, emotions, and breathing during the
meditative state. The entire goal of this meditation is to help your awareness
of self and your surroundings, as well as practice acceptance of your current
state of mind and emotions.
Start by finding a comfortable spot in your home where you feel the
most relaxed. You will probably need complete silence at the beginning of
your meditation practices as you are getting used to meditating, so make
sure to choose a time when it’s normally peaceful, and there are not many
distractions. Start with breathing as already practiced, breathing in and out
at a pace that feels natural. You will feel your heart rate slowing down to
accommodate the pace of breathing.
As you breathe in and out, focus on the air as it enters and leaves your
body. You will feel all sorts of emotions reading your current emotional
state, and some of these emotions will probably be negative. Acknowledge
these emotions and accept that you are feeling the way you do without
actually experiencing the feelings. Imagine that you are a bystander
opposed to your emotions, logically inspecting your emotional state. Now,
when you’ve identified your emotions and acknowledged them, you need to
let them pass without judging yourself and judging the feelings you are
experiencing.
Don’t get frustrated if you can’t succeed in letting your emotions pass
by during the first couple of meditation sessions – this is harder than it
sounds, and you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself. The important thing is to
try and to decide whether Mindfulness meditation is the right thing for you.
Guided Meditation
Guided meditation relies on imagination and visualization. You can use
this type of meditation to relax and relieve stress, as well as visualize your
goals and the things you want in life. You can use Guided meditation
whenever you feel like you need to find your inner peace and just relax -
you can describe it as somewhat of a spa day for your mind and soul. The
reason why this meditation is called “guided” is because someone, or
yourself, should be guiding you on your way to visualizing relaxing
experiences and situations.
You can also find guidance in the sounds of nature that you can find
online. There are also many audio recordings that people usually find
calming – the sound of waves, the wind, rain, birds, and similar sounds that
can help you find the calmness you need. You can visualize textures, scents,
and scenery as well as sounds, so you can convince your mind that you are
where you want and need to be – imagine yourself in the middle of a forest
on a warm, sunny day, with birds chirping and a mild wind blowing at your
face. You can hear the ocean nearby as the waves are touching the shore.
You can imagine any place or situation that makes you feel calm and
relaxed.
You can use the same technique to visualize positive outcomes.
What if Meditation Doesn’t Work?
Some people find it difficult to enter the meditative state, and the
reasons are different - you may be unable to collect your thoughts at the
moment or focus on your breathing, or you are just not into meditating, and
that is all perfectly fine. That is how some people find various substitutes
for meditation to get the same or similar effects. If meditation is not your
cup of tea, try hiking or taking long walks surrounded by nature. Another
option is music. Listening to music that you like and enjoy can have
therapeutic effects on your mind, as music can make us feel a multitude of
emotions. Play a song that makes you happy and calm when you are down
or move to the sound of your favorite song. You can also pick random
compositions that use calming sounds in combination with instruments to
relax and collect your thoughts. Music also affects our brain to focus and
concentrate, so you can find an ally in the harmony of sounds.
Once you are sure that you’ve mastered acceptance, mental strength,
calmness, self-acceptance, and self-love, and when you have gone through
all the lessons in Chapter 1 and Chapter 2, you can dive into the details of
the Sigma male law of attraction.
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CHAPTER 3: THE SIGMA MALE
LAW OF ATTRACTION
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THE SECRET BEHIND THE SIGMA MALE
ATTRACTIVENESS
T he most common delusion regarding the life of a Sigma male,
specifically the sexual life of a Sigma, is a myth that Sigmas get
approached by girls all the time and that they don’t have to do anything to
win a girl’s attention. Yes, that can happen, but even to Betas, Alphas, and
other masculine stereotypes like Omega and Gamma boys that have joined
the socio-sexual hierarchy. Sigmas indeed have a silent appeal that makes a
girl want to approach; however, many girls won’t make the first move but
will let you know they like you.
The secret behind the attractiveness of a Sigma male lies in his values,
which are earned through learning and growing as a person who is ready to
improve and experience life to its fullest. That still doesn’t mean that a
Sigma just has to look at a girl, and she would be all his. No. Girls are not
after shiny objects - not all of them, and not many of them – what is valued
is the value itself. Sigmas are always ready for new experiences and love to
learn, which, by itself, is a good start for offering some kind of value. Let’s
see some main characteristics of a Sigma male attraction and how these
characteristics are sometimes subject to misconceptions.
The Lone Wolf Trope
There is something odd in seeing a person alone in a place where everyone
seems to be talking to someone – it is a side-effect of our nature, as we are
social “pack animals.” Humans would regroup in the distant past to ensure
security, food, shelter, safety in numbers, and also to mate, creating
thousands-of-years-long social evolution from tribes to civilized societies
where we further categorize people into groups by family, coworkers, social
circles, etc. Socializing is also crucial for survival in the modern world,
which is why solitude is somewhat seen as a sign that something is wrong.
If the person seems to be miserable all by himself, it will most likely
send a message to other people that something is wrong with the person or
that something happened to the person – a less dramatic scenario is that this
person is waiting for someone or has been stood up by a date that never
showed up.
On the other hand, if the person is spending the night alone in a
restaurant, a bar, or at a party and seems to be enjoying his own company,
this might spark some interest among some of the people. This would be an
example of the lone wolf trope. The lone wolf here is the Sigma male who
is having a great time by himself, confident and unshaken by solitude. This
is one of the characteristics of a Sigma male that women find attractive, as
it may spark the interest of finding out more about you and why you are all
alone. Make yourself present. Try going out by yourself when you feel
comfortable about it without any major expectations and see where the
night takes you. You can also visit a café for a cup of coffee or take a casual
stroll. Anything counts if you feel comfortable.
Building a Unique Style
What do you like to wear? What makes you feel comfortable in your skin?
What reflects your personality and shows where you want to be and where
you are in life? “Dress to impress” doesn’t have to be your normative
motto, but you should bear in mind that the way we dress presents our style
and expresses our personality, while sometimes clothes can bear even a
greater statement and showcase our class, education, and wealth. In this
case, we refer to the message you send to others in terms of your character.
A way to feel good about yourself is to dress the way you like and feel
comfortable with, so go for any style that you feel suits your character the
best.
Getting Attention Without Much Effort
Getting attention without much effort doesn’t mean you can just walk into a
room and all heads immediately turn to you unless you are very attractive
physically, which may be the case. Getting attention without trying too
much means that it doesn’t matter if you are noticed or not. But if you want
to get noticed by certain people, the very fact that you have a unique style
that expresses a part of your personality and that you have no problems with
going out all by yourself is a good start to increase your sex appeal and
attractiveness in general. Nothing is done effortlessly, but you can succeed
in getting the attention without trying too much. If you have noticed that a
girl is looking at you and you are interested in her as well, it’s not much
effort to make a move and start a conversation, right?
Hard-to-Get
Playing hard-to-get comes naturally to Sigmas, as they don’t pretend they
are hard to get even if they are. Sigmas are less likely to postpone their
activities for someone or prioritize someone over their own time. Sigmas
set their tempo and pace and are thus hard to get. When you meet someone
special who shares some of your philosophies and the way you see life, that
person should understand that you prioritize more value on your own time
than the time spent with someone else. Perhaps we all have that one soul
mate who functions similarly as we do or whose differences can perfectly
align with our characteristics?
When talking about sole physical attractiveness, hard-to-get is a perfect
game in multiple scenarios, as people often tend to have an increased
interest in what is out of their reach.
Experience the Present, Live in the Moment
We have mentioned the importance of being present and living in the
moment more than several times and across multiple lessons precisely
because it is so important for your journey towards becoming a Sigma male.
Living in the moment is more a state than a characteristic, making Sigmas
attractive to the opposite sex. By living in the moment, you experience the
present without prejudice or plans, which can set you up for success with
ladies. The energy of being present radiates as anyone you talk to can tell
that you are invested in your conversation, which is important when trying
to attract someone you like. Try living in the moment as soon as you set
yourself up for a night out and consider that everything and anything is
possible, which will make your encounters even more interesting.
Set Your Goals Straight
It is important to decide what you want in a romantic relationship. Are you
looking for a partner who shares your lifestyle and has similar philosophies
regarding life, or are you looking for fun? Ask yourself, are you ready to
share your time and mind with someone in the long run, or do you just want
to experience new things with new people? Even though you are self-
sufficient as a Sigma, everyone appreciates love and affection, especially
from a person that you like. Set your goals straight, and set your mind for
what you need and don’t settle for less. It is only fair to the other person
that you are straight with your intentions, so showing your true colors is
important in not misleading the other person. Sigmas are not players to toy
with other people, which is why it is important to be honest about yourself.
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SIGMA MALE GAME DECODED
Sigmas are introspective rather than introverted, although some of their
characteristics may make people believe that they are dealing with
introverts. This trait allows a Sigma male to know himself inside out, which
is attractive to many women, especially those tired of dealing with
superficial guys who are delusional about their strengths and weaknesses.
When it comes to Sigma’s male dating game, there isn’t a magic trick
specifically reserved for Sigmas to win over a girl they like – the key to the
dating game in Sigma style lies in the very essence of his characteristics. A
Sigma is a mysterious guy who doesn’t talk too much but talks with a
purpose and will share his thoughts and opinions with a person they like,
not to impress her but to learn new things and see things from a different
perspective. Sigmas are also brave and not afraid to make the first move if
they are interested in a girl. Sigmas don’t play hard to get - they ARE hard
to get because they place value on their alone time and personal growth. It
is personal growth and the desire to learn more and improve that is so
attractive to women. What is even more attractive is that Sigmas are not
driven by the desire to be liked. What is there not to like about all these
traits, right?
So, your “game” won’t be based on making strategies on what to say or
what to do for a girl to like you but will be focused on improving yourself
and getting where you want to be in life. In most cases, there is nothing
more attractive than a man who is aware of himself, isn’t afraid of
improvement, and knows what he wants in life.
Appreciating Yourself
Hopefully, by now, you have learned to appreciate yourself through
numerous practices and exercises we have compiled for you in previous
sections. You can use this section to revise what you’ve learned about
yourself. Have you learned to appreciate yourself with all your flaws and
traits? If so, have you learned to accept yourself for who you are and
change the things that you don’t want in your life?
It takes courage to appreciate yourself as you are aware of all the things
that can be characterized as negative about you. So you have the power to
change these things and become a better person for your own sake, not for
the sake of how other people see you. The very fact that you are working on
improving yourself provides you with a value that is attractive to other
people, so focus on yourself and achieving your goals. If you are happy
with yourself, it will be easy for you to make someone else happy, too, and
be happy with someone else.
Don’t Get Easily Bothered
So, you’ve made a move, and you got rejected. What now? You can use this
experience to analyze what might have gone wrong and step up your game
the next time you decide to approach someone. The important thing is not to
get easily bothered. There are many reasons why you might have been
rejected, and many of those reasons probably don’t have anything to do
with you. Maybe you made a move on a girl already dating someone, or just
isn’t interested in dating anyone now, or she just doesn’t like you. There’s
no harm in being rejected other than having a hurt ego, and as a Sigma,
your ego is not boosted by other people’s acceptance and gratification.
Enjoying New Experiences
Talking to a girl you like is also a new experience and can lead anywhere –
the experience can either be negative, positive, or even neutral as you might
not be affected by the encounter. The “worst” thing that can happen is to get
rejected, but that is not nearly as bad as not trying at all.
Attracting Women
How do Sigmas attract women? As we’ve mentioned before, there is no
magic trick that Sigma can use to make the girl he likes to fall for him,
which means that you need to try or at least show that you like that girl
standing in the corner with a friend. If she is already looking at you, that is
a perfect setup, as you can show her that you are interested in looking back
at her and showing your interest. If you maintain eye contact with her, she
would probably like you to approach her, which won’t be a problem if you
have embraced the philosophy of a Sigma – be brave, be present, be
mindful.
If you can’t make any contact with the girl unless you approach without
certainty that you are the point of her interest, you will mostly be relying on
self-confidence and perhaps a bit of luck. If you are physically attractive
according to the general standards of masculine beauty or have a certain
charisma characteristic of Sigma types, it may be easier for you to approach
as you may play on the card of good looks. Still, it is not all in good looks
as you need to interest the girl in talking to you. Sigmas usually detest
generic pickup lines, as they value uniqueness and authenticity, so you can
use any conversation starter that you think would reflect your personality.
Sigmas always want a girl interested in them because of who they are and
not who they pretend to be. Authenticity and honesty are some of the key
traits that Sigmas use to interest women.
Strong Beliefs and Philosophy of Sigma Life
The fact that a Sigma wouldn’t trade his beliefs for the sake of others is an
attractive trait by itself. When combined with the philosophy of self-growth,
improvement, and perpetual progress, we have a winning combination with
ladies. Some universal traits are appreciated among women regardless of
their age, beliefs, and various personality traits and factors. Some of these
attractive traits are confidence, independence, self-awareness, motivation to
learn, the ability to adapt, and the choice not to. All these traits combine to
create a stereotypical male classified as Sigma is rather attractive to women
and beneficial to Sigma himself.
The philosophy of Sigma life mostly revolves around self-improvement
and creating a life of value. Sigma values new experiences, new lessons,
and never-ending learning, always hungry for more. Your strong beliefs,
self-awareness, mental strength, and “what happens, happens” attitude are
some of your greatest attributes in the dating game – you just need to use
them wisely. Don’t be afraid to show your true self, and if others like you
for it, that is all right. If they don’t, that is perfectly fine – don’t change for
the sake of others; change for yourself and your goals.
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“I DON’T CARE” SIGMAS DO CARE ABOUT THEIR
APPEARANCE
Sigma usually looks neat and has a unique style, not necessarily eccentric,
but you can notice that he is wearing that same jacket that Alpha wears,
which somehow suits him differently – basically, it’s all about the little
details and the attitude. Alpha boasts and likes to be seen, and Sigma
usually walks into the room without caring to be seen and somehow gets
noticed. How?
People who are confident reflect their confidence by simply being sure
about who they are and what they want in life. You know how you can
sense when someone is nervous even if they try not to show it? The same
thing goes with confidence and other traits and emotions. Alpha’s
confidence can also be sensed, although this confidence reflects on Alpha’s
image differently than it would on a Sigma male, mostly because Alpha’s
confidence is driven by his ego and the validation of others. Alpha enters a
room as if he owns it, and Sigma enters the same room as if he has already
been there, and everything looks familiar. This is how the “I don’t care
energy” is achieved. Sigmas DON’T care if they get noticed or not.
However, they do care about how they look, as to some extent, your
appearance reflects your personality and the things you want in life.
Look Good, Feel Better
We’ve already discussed how looking good can make you feel better as you
are setting yourself up to feel better by simply feeling comfortable with the
way you look. This case can be compared to method acting. Method actors
take over the personality of the character they play as soon as they put on
their character’s costume. They become that character by identifying with
his style and the outfit that suits the character’s personality.
Go through your wardrobe and pick the clothes that you think describe
you and your style the best. You may even buy some new clothes if your
budget allows it and change your style a bit if you feel like doing so. The
saying “A suit doesn’t make the man” is not completely accurate, as in a
way, what we wear reflects our personality and our inclinations. Don’t be
afraid to embrace authenticity and express yourself through a medium of
fashion.
Good Health is Half the Confidence
Looking good also means taking care of your body and health. Good health
is half the confidence, as a healthy and clean man who takes care of his
hygiene is more than attractive. Exercise, take care of your hygiene, have
regular health checkups, and don’t neglect your mental health. A healthy
mind and a healthy body are blessings that shouldn’t be neglected or taken
for granted. An unhealthy lifestyle may take away all the progress you’ve
made, so keep your health in check and take care of your body.
Inducing Mysterious Qualities of Sigma Males
Sigmas are perceived as mysterious and even intriguing, but do Sigmas
induce this mystery on purpose? The answer is more likely NO. Behind this
perception is a common practice of Sigmas not to talk too much and share
only what they think is necessary. Sigmas are direct and dislike oversharing
– you will never hear a Sigma sharing his entire life story to someone,
especially to a stranger, while Sigmas are always direct in conversations.
You will hear exactly what a Sigma thinks, which is a refreshing change.
Sigmas don’t say what they think other people want to hear – they speak
concerning their own beliefs, thoughts, and opinions.
The fact that a Sigma is likely to go out to a bar or a restaurant alone
does add to the factor of mystery and intrigue alongside the case of refusing
to ramble on for no reason – random chatting is not what a Sigma prefers,
which somewhat falls out of the frame of the expected, making Sigmas
mysterious to other people.
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WHY SIGMAS CARE ABOUT THEIR PHYSICAL
APPEARANCE
Physical appearance, regardless of your grade of attractiveness under
general beauty standards, tells a lot about you when it comes to the first
impression. While Sigmas don’t care how other people perceive them, they
do care how they look in the light of being content with themselves and
their appearance.
Looking good for Sigmas means they feel good and want to feel good
about themselves and where they are in life, so physical appearance is in no
way neglected. Here are some basics you need to know as a Sigma when it
comes to the way you look and how other people perceive you.
The First Impression Matters
The first impression is important, even though you may not care about how
other people see you and perceive you. Regardless of your indifference
towards other people’s opinions, you should look your best for your own
sake. In addition, when you like a girl, you can’t lie to yourself that you
don’t care what she thinks about you and whether she likes you or not.
Claiming otherwise would be lying to yourself. Just like any other goals
you have set for yourself and are working to achieve, you should set
yourself up for success when going out and meeting people. First
impressions do matter, as it may be your only shot with someone.
Express your true self without reservations and without the fear of being
judged and rejected. If you care about that girl liking you, you should show
your interest and express your personality with no filters as a true Sigma
would. If she likes you back, you may have someone to talk to without
having to involve yourself in meaningless small talk that’s usually a part of
meeting someone for the first time. Be present and enjoy the moment that
might take you somewhere great.
Sexual Attraction of Sigmas
Most men will approach a girl with meaningless small talk or a generic
pickup line, which the girl has most likely heard before and is probably
tired of chitchatting for no good reason. Considering differences, some
people enjoy small talk and consider it a normative part of a conversation –
but not Sigmas. If a Sigma is talking to someone, he is direct and is not
sharing the entire process of forming his opinions, conclusions, and
decisions – he keeps these processes to himself and only shares the core of
what he wants to say, making a clear point that can be very refreshing to
other people. Speaking directly is also sexy to many women, while a part of
the sexual attraction of Sigmas lies in their confidence to say what they
think and speak directly.
So, we have a man who is not afraid of taking the initiative, not afraid
of speaking his mind, a man who accepts changes as a natural and healthy
part of life, who doesn’t seek validation and gratification, who is not afraid
to chase his dreams and be himself, and who is willing to learn and
experience new things. Sigma is honest in his authenticity and is looking for
a person of his likeness who is independent and open to new experiences. In
conclusion, the very core of Sigma’s personality is sexually attractive, as
most women appreciate an independent man who knows what he wants in
life and is not afraid to speak his mind. This is truly refreshing in
comparison to men who only speak what they think women want to hear
and can’t deliver on their words and promises. Living your life with honesty
and awareness that you are not perfect is very sexy! It’s all about the energy
you reflect by solely working on improving yourself.
Lone Wolf Vibe and Confidence
The lone wolf trope is a huge part of the attractiveness of a Sigma male, and
this phenomenon can be easily broken down and explained through a
simple example. Let’s say that you see someone alone at the bar – it can be
a girl – and she doesn’t look like she is waiting for someone or something.
She is just there, present in the moment and looking like she is in good
company, even though she is alone. It is like seeing a group of popular kids
in high school, full of confidence and looking like they are having fun –
secretly, you want to be around them because you want to feel like they do,
which is perfectly content and happy with yourself and your place in the
world. Even though our “example girl” is all alone at the bar, she radiates
the same energy that makes you want to approach her and know more about
her. The secret in this attraction is not in how you perceive this girl, but in
the way she feels about herself, which is confident and happy with who she
is.
Now, replace the girl in the scene with a guy – this guy is you as a
Sigma, the lone wolf with the confidence of a pack.
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KEEPING UP WITH HYGIENE AND HEALTH
It is very important to take good care of your mind and equally important to
take care of your body and hygiene. Do you like the sight of someone who
doesn’t care about how they look or don’t care about their hygiene? Of
course not, as self-care and good health are equally as attractive as being
confident. Just like wearing that outfit you like makes you feel good about
yourself, being healthy and clean can help you boost your self-confidence
and feel better.
The feeling of entering the shower and letting the water flow is priceless
and can also help you in your pursuit of positivity. Aside from the obvious
perks of being clean and smelling great, you can use your shower time to
reflect on your day and visualize washing off all the negatives. Let the
water flow over your body as you imagine all the negative things just being
washed away with it. Empower yourself through the little hygiene and
beauty rituals that you have. Taking care of your hair, body, health, and how
you look will make you feel better and set you up for success.
Working Out
Working out is more than just staying fit. Exercising encourages the
production of serotonin and dopamine, as well as epinephrine. Dopamine is
a hormone naturally present in our body and affects our brain to feel
motivated, fulfilled, and content. Serotonin is the hormone of happiness,
and epinephrine is a hormone naturally released in our body when we are
under physical or emotional stress to prepare us with increased muscle
strength and adrenaline. So, there are more perks of working out than “just”
looking fit.
You don’t need to engage in rigorous workout plans and direct your
focus towards getting fit as if your life depends on it unless you enjoy it and
want to make exercising a great part of your everyday routine. If you just
want to stay fit and feel good about yourself while working on your fitness
and wellbeing, you don’t need to spare more than 30 minutes per day to
achieve your goal.
Swim, walk, run, jog, do cardio at home or pick a local gym where you
can use different equipment to boost your workout routine. Make exercising
your daily routine and pick a time of the day when you can work out for at
least 30 minutes. You can try exercising in the morning to boost your mood
early on, or you can cut to exercising midday or in the evening. It is
important to pick a time that’s most convenient and most comfortable for
you.
Eating Healthy
A healthy diet is a big part of a healthy lifestyle, plus healthy and tasty food
will make you feel great about yourself. You can visit a professional
nutritionist and see which diet regimen would suit you the most from a
medical perspective, or you can start by removing unhealthy products from
your kitchen pantries, like greasy and junk food, unhealthy snacks, and
sugar-saturated delights that don’t have such delightful effects on your
body.
Start by motivating yourself into putting this new diet regimen to work
by removing all the temptations and balancing the calories and nutrients
your body needs. Make sure to accommodate your dietary needs to your
workout regimen. Even if you are not struggling with weight or have an
eating disorder, you should keep your diet in check.
Dress to Impress – The Silent Heartthrob
Dress to impress yourself in the first place. Once you are satisfied with the
way you look, the chances are you will also become a point of positive
impression. And even though you generally don’t care about being accepted
or care about the way others perceive you, if you want to get yourself
noticed by a girl you like, you do care about the way you look. Mainly
because you want to feel good about yourself, which is perfectly fine. Your
clothes can make a great first impression based on your style, sense of
fashion, and authenticity in expressing yourself.
DOs and DON’Ts of Attraction
Let’s see how some of the main DOs and DON’Ts regarding attraction can
help you step up your dating game and seduce that girl you like.
(DO) Listen
Sigmas are great listeners, first because they are direct and don’t involve
themselves in meaningless chitchatting. Second, they respect other people’s
opinions and are interested in seeing things from different perspectives. Use
this skill when you are talking to a girl, as listening can tell you a lot about
the person you are socializing with. Listening can also show you whether
your potential partner is all about talking and wanting to be heard or if she
also appreciates other people’s opinions.
(DON’T) Forget to Be Present
Listening also involves being present, which you have practiced in some
of the previous lessons. Experience the moment you are having with the girl
you are interested in, and don’t think about any expectations that you might
have had or still have. Just live in the moment and talk to her if you feel that
you can connect on some level. Even if this is only a one-time thing and
you will never see each other again, immerse in the talk and experience the
present moment.
(DO) Express Yourself
If the girl you are interested in also knows how to listen and asks the
right questions, don’t be afraid to express yourself. Remember the exercises
and practices involving mental strength and self-confidence that should
have prepared you for expressing your true self regardless of things that you
might not be proud of.
(DON’T) Try to Impress Her
Expressing yourself means being your true self in front of others,
regardless of how you feel about someone. You shouldn’t feel the need to
apologize for anything that makes you who you are if you respect others the
same way you want to be respected. No matter how much you like
someone, never try to impress them by pretending to be something you are
not. If that person is interested in you, she will be impressed by your true
self.
(DO) Follow up with Body Language
Flirting with someone and socializing with people, in general, involves
communication that goes beyond words – our body and the way we move,
walk, and talk, and even observe our surroundings can also tell a lot about
us –this is known as the language of the body or body language. In the next
chapter, we will introduce you to some of the basic body language lessons,
so you can learn how to act on what people say without words. Reading
body language can tell you if someone is bored, interested, honest and help
you see all the intricacies of human interaction.
(DON’T) Fear Rejection
We have already mentioned fear of rejection as a huge demotivational
factor in taking action. Fear can paralyze us and demotivate us, preventing
us from acting upon our wants and needs. Ask yourself, what is the worst
thing that can happen if you approach a girl and she rejects you? The worst
thing is probably being rejected in this entire scenario. So, what if you get
rejected? You can use this experience of rejection to become more resilient
and stronger than you were before rejection. One thing is for certain; you
will never know if you don’t try.
Now that you’ve learned something more about the law of Sigma male
attraction, you can move onto the next chapter where we discuss seduction
and being seduced by a Sigma male.
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CHAPTER 4: BEING SEDUCED BY A
SIGMA MALE
W hile other socio-sexual types in the male hierarchy may create
elaborate strategies to seduce a girl, Sigma males are usually set on
a different path, working on self-improvement, which is simultaneously
your greatest strategy of seduction.
Through the entire guide, we’ve been emphasizing the importance of
working on self-improvement, motivation, self-acceptance, self-love, self-
confidence, and self-respect to teach you how to be a true Sigma. All the
lessons have led to the point where you can learn how to use everything you
know to grow as a person and achieve your goals and help you get rid of
your fears and doubts.
Once you are at peace with yourself and are working hard to achieve
your goals, the “game” of Sigma seduction should come naturally to you.
Let’s see how a Sigma usually makes a move when he is interested in a girl,
how he talks and sparks interest, and what is hidden behind the charm of an
irresistible Sigma.
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MAKING A MOVE
As we’ve said before, girls generally like Sigmas without even knowing
much about this hierarchical type of male and the very ranking of males by
these socio-sexual standards; however, that doesn’t mean that Sigmas just
walk into a room, and all the girls are swept off their feet. The reality of this
case is rather different. Sometimes, perhaps more than just sometimes, you
will be approached by a girl, and you can make a call on whether you
would like to engage in a conversation or not. But what happens when the
other side is the one that makes that decision?
Let’s see how a Sigma male usually makes a move when his interest is
sparked.
Evaluate the Situation
Sigmas are critical thinkers, as you already know, which means they like to
evaluate situations and consider all the factors involved. As a true analyst, a
Sigma will try to pick up any sign that the interest they have is mutual.
However, Sigmas are also brave and like to take the initiative, so they can
choose to make a move even without any sign that may reveal whether the
girl they are eyeing is interested in them.
Don’t Overthink
Evaluating situations can easily take you to overthink the situations and
imagine all possible outcomes of your action, i.e., what will happen if I
approach the girl and make a move? You can be rejected, you can be
welcomed with a smile, you may end up talking to that girl for hours, or
you can even end up having a coffee or lunch tomorrow. But who knows,
perhaps you will realize that she is not what you thought she would be
before you made a move, so you lose interest. There are many possibilities,
and thinking through each one may take you on a spiral of overthinking the
situation. Don’t overthink – evaluate the situation in brief and make a move.
Assert Your Presence in Sigma Male Style
You want to get noticed, but you are just not comfortable with how Alphas
or Betas assert their presence or seek attention. That is perfectly fine, as you
are, after all, a Sigma male type. You don’t want to boast and enter the room
as you own it, and you also don’t want to comply and sit in a corner
wallowing over solitude and hoping that a girl will approach you.
Asserting presence as a Sigma can hardly be described as aggressive or
planned. Sigma is equally confident as an Alpha would be, but in the case
of Sigma, there is no boasting or asserting dominance. You need to rely on
your energy and mindfulness to make you stand out, for which you should
work on improving the image you have of yourself. Be who you are, and
your presence will surely be noticed by the right people, while you can
always choose to make the first move and rely on your confidence.
A Mindful and Casual Approach
Talking about approaching with confidence, you also need to employ the
mindfulness you have learned to evaluate the situation properly and become
aware of all the factors that make a certain situation as it is. Being mindful
means that you have learned not to be overly reactive to new experiences so
you can make logical decisions with a cool head.
When approaching a girl, immerse in the present and don’t think about
potential outcomes – try going with the flow solely based on your
personality and the concept of mindfulness where you are fully aware of
your situation and the experience you are going through. This will allow
you to focus on what is important as you start a conversation with a girl you
are interested in. First, ask yourself why this girl interests you – the answer
to this question could be your conversation starter. Be direct in your
approach but also approach casually without putting pressure on the
situation with great expectations.
Pay attention to how this girl acts and reacts to your approach and the
very fact that you are walking towards her – keep eye contact to show her
your interest as you casually approach with a direct question.
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THE SIGMA MALE TALK
Sigmas love to talk, although they rarely talk if they feel they don’t have a
good reason to spill words or are not motivated or interested in the
conversation. Sigma will rarely use excess words and avoids meaningless
chitchatting. At the same time, he usually has a wide range of topics that
interest him, making him a great person to talk to - of course, if he is
interested in talking. Let’s see how a typical Sigma communicates when he
likes a girl and how you can use seduce the girl you like.
A Talkative Loner
Although Sigmas are perceived as loners, they like to talk if they believe
the story is leading somewhere. Chitchatting and small talk is not Sigma’s
cup of tea, so they will likely lose interest or won’t talk at all – small talk
just seems like a huge waste of time. Given that you’ve been working on
yourself by learning new skills and immersing in new knowledge on your
way to becoming who you want to be, luckily, you have a lot to talk about.
Do you have an interesting hobby, a captivating point of view or conclusion
that you feel like sharing? If so, don’t be afraid to share your opinion as you
are having a conversation with a person you found interesting at first sight.
Share your opinion, listen and talk back – once again, be fully present
and enjoy the moment.
Make Her Approach You
We can talk with more than just using words, and later in this chapter, we
will show you how to read some expressions in body language. For now,
you should know that you can make a girl approach you with some simple
body language techniques. Make sure that your body is facing the person of
interest or that she can at least see you in the crowd. Glance at the girl a
couple of times while trying to show your interest but be careful to do it
casually - not overly seductive. Also, you shouldn’t stare at her for too long
as she might think that you are being creepy, which is what you don’t want.
Catch a glimpse of her while you are trying to tell her something with her
eyes. Think about what you would talk to her about every time you look at
her, and if she looks back, she may be able to pick up the signs.
This is how you can make a girl approach but be aware that in the
society we live in, it’s expected that the guy approaches the girl, so don’t be
surprised if the girl is looking at you with the same interest you have for her
but doesn’t approach you in the end.
Keeping Her Interested
If the girl does approach you or you decide to approach her and start a
conversation, you should keep her interested for as long as you wish the
conversation to turn into something more. The best way to keep a girl
interested is to show interest in what she has to say and to validate her
opinion – of course, there is no good reason to validate her opinion if you
don’t get along, or your opinions are far different, but you can always show
respect for different stances and beliefs.
Listening is a great part of the deal of keeping her interested, as you will
be able to find out more about her and share some similarities or similar
points of view that you might have. If you’ve managed to find a girl you
think is perfect to date and talk to, then you should share some of your
thoughts with her. Share an interesting story you think she might like, but
only concerning what she is talking about and in the natural course of the
conversation. If she’s anything similar to you, she will know how to listen,
too, and ask the right questions.
Another strategy of keeping her interested is to provide only “teaser”
thoughts. For example, if she asks you what you do for a living, you can tell
her something about your job without revealing everything about your
position at work. Don’t overshare, while the details you do share should be
tastefully picked to reflect the core of the answer to her questions.
Sharing Your Thoughts
Share some of your thoughts but avoid oversharing and going into the
details of how you come up with a certain conclusion – rattling and
boasting is not part of a Sigma personality. Sigma is likely to choose
concise sentences that reveal the point without saying too much and without
explaining the story behind every sentence. Almost any thought you share
should look like it’s been well thought through, which should reveal your
unintrusive confidence and self-esteem. This shouldn’t be a difficult task for
a well-read Sigma male who enjoys spending time learning and thinking.
Sharing your thoughts should also convince her that you are enjoying
the conversation and that you would like it to continue, which could end in
setting up a date.
Handling Rejection
What if your approach didn’t go well, and your thought sharing and talking
didn’t interest her enough as you hoped it would? We’ve already discussed
potential rejection and that the worst thing that could happen when you are
rejected is that you’ve been silently or openly told NO.
How to handle rejection when it happens? A Sigma likes to observe life
as a series of challenges and lessons that can make him stronger for better
or for worse. A true Sigma can grow and improve in any situation and
environment and is usually practicing resilience to factors and experiences
that can hurt him. The same goes for rejection. Where did you go wrong?
What went wrong? The answer might be nowhere and nothing. Perhaps you
weren’t her type, and perhaps you were too excited about talking to her and
forgot all about mastering mindfulness and approaching casually. Whatever
the reason for being rejected, you can analyze the situation tomorrow with a
cold mind and learn something new about dating and yourself.
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THE SIGMA MALE CHARM
The Sigma male archetype is known as the rarest in the socio-sexual
hierarchy of men and as such, is known by an exceptional dose of charm.
This charm is mostly unfiltered and unregulated by a Sigma who doesn’t
perceive himself as charming - he is just being himself unintentionally and
unapologetically, but he is himself with intention. A part of this charm is
owned by the fact that a Sigma male is perfectly fine on his own, is
independent, knows how to set his priorities straight, and is ready to learn
and admit that he is not perfect – although he won’t admit it directly,
despite being direct in conversation. He might slip it casually, though –
Sigma style.
We’ve said it enough by far but being yourself is a core of your charm
as a Sigma as it takes being brave to own your life and your decisions.
Sigma Body Language
Sigmas are reserved when observed through the point of body language –
they look closed in as opposed to being open for a conversation, and many
people perceive them as unapproachable, which is often a part of their
charm when it comes to winning ladies’ hearts.
As a Sigma, you don’t use many hand and body gestures because almost
every thought you say out loud is well-thought-through and analyzed.
Sigmas like precision, so they often look neat and will share the thoughts
they consider can provide some sort of value to other people. Sigmas don’t
like to be told what to do and take pride in things they know and in the
extent of their knowledge in certain areas of their interest, which is how
most Sigmas stand tall and look proud wherever they are. Your posture as a
Sigma reflects confidence, as you are certain in things you know and are
not afraid to look people in the eye; however, eye contact is often brief and
focused.
Sigmas seem calm and look calm and collected because that is what
they are – focused and fully aware of themselves and their surroundings,
thanks to the mind of a cold-headed analyst. They can often be perceived as
aloof or cold, even though they don’t have any motivation to be superior in
comparison to other people. They don’t care for other people’s validation,
but they also don’t think that other people should depend on their
validation.
When observing a Sigma male, his face is always set up straight with a
fixated point of view. They look straight in the eye of the person they are
talking to, reflecting confidence and calmness with their chin up. They
don’t look around and rarely lose their focus. A Sigma may also direct their
eyes up, almost looking at the ceiling when they are deeply lost in their
thoughts.
Sigmas have a calm demeanor, which is why it is often difficult for
other people to read them. On the other hand, some Sigmas are likely to
unintentionally show that they are experiencing negative emotions by biting
their lip. When silent, Sigma’s lips are usually pressed tight as if he is
displeased. His head is slightly tilted up while his body weight is evenly
balanced, so he looks like he is ready for action, which he is. Sigmas never
hunch their backs and tend to stand up straight as if proud. The only time a
Sigma doesn’t look as calm as usual is when he is brainstorming – in this
case, they could play with a pen or an object or play with their fingers.
When a Sigma trusts someone, he may use more gestures with his hands
and laugh louder than he normally does.
Reading Body Language
Now that you have had the usual body language of a Sigma deciphered and
read, let’s see how you can read other people’s body language that is
commonly expressed and unanimously shared by different types of people.
Lack of eye contact
The lack of eye contact may indicate more than one thing, including
shyness, dishonesty, boredom, deceit, and lack of interest.
Increasing blinking
Increasing blinking can mean that the person is under stress or that he/she is
thinking, deeply caught up in his/her thoughts. If the person is under stress,
other signs will be involved, like touching their own hands, a sign that they
subconsciously need comfort.
Focused eye contact
If the person is looking at you directly, they are interested in you or what
you have to say, or they find your appearance interesting.
Smiling
Many types of smiles can be grouped into two basic categories – genuine
and fake. A smile is a clear sign that a person is happy to see you, and it
would be a genuine smile if all face muscles were used. On the other hand,
weak smiles that include only moving the lips are most likely fake.
The proximity of the body
You can tell if someone is interested in you or talking to you or feel
comfortable with your presence if their body is to your body – if a person is
sitting or standing close to you, they feel comfortable around you and might
be interested in you. If you approach and notice that the person is moving
away from you or backing up, that is a clear sign that your company is not
welcome or the person is uncertain about your intentions.
Nodding
If a person is nodding slowly while you are having a conversation, the
person is listening to you. If the person is nodding rapidly, that likely means
that they don’t have much time to spare on a conversation or are impatient
or not truly interested in the conversation. Fast nodding can also be a sign
of agreeing.
Mirroring
Mirroring means that a person you are sitting next to or talking to is
mimicking your behavior, more specifically, your body language. For
example, if you start touching your face during a conversation, the person
you are talking to does the same thing as a reflex. Or, if you place your
elbow on the table while you are talking, and the person follows up with the
same gesture only seconds later. If someone mirrors you, they are not doing
it as a planned action but as a reflex. This is a sign that the person wants to
find a connection with you.
Feet
Feet and the direction in which the person is pointing with their feet can
also reveal non-verbal messages, even they are good at controlling their
facial expressions and gestures. People tend to unintentionally point their
feet in the direction they would like to go, whether they are sitting or
standing. Take a glance and see where the feet of a person you are talking to
are directed. If the feet are pointing at you, the person is more interested in
talking to you. If they are pointing their feet elsewhere, they probably can’t
wait to leave.
Hands
Hand gestures may also reveal a lot about the person you are talking to. If
someone is touching their face or nose or playing with their hands, they are
more likely under stress or nervous. If they are pointing with their hands at
you while gesturing, they are more likely to care about your opinion or have
an affinity for you. If someone is supporting their head with a single hand
under their chin or cheek, they are focusing as they listen to you, but if they
are holding both hands to support their head, they are probably bored.
Arms
The way people hold their arms can also reveal a lot about them during a
conversation. If their arms are crossed, they can be defensive, vulnerable,
anxious, or just don’t feel like talking to you. If this position of arms is
combined with a genuine smile, that person is strong and confident. If a
person is holding their arms on their hips, that probably means they are
subconsciously asserting dominance.
Deciphering Sigma Charm
A Sigma male is a social chameleon and one of the rarest types in the
established socio-sexual hierarchy of dominance – he can easily adapt to
any situation and often chooses not to adapt. As we break down all the traits
that make a Sigma male one of the most desirable types among women,
check how many of these characteristics you have.
A true Sigma is charming because:
He doesn’t care about other people’s expectations – a Sigma values
expectations that he has for himself.
He doesn’t comply with the traditional social norms – a Sigma doesn’t
care about who is Alpha, who is Beta, or what society wants him to be.
He doesn’t need validation – a Sigma doesn’t seek validation from
other people as he does everything with a purpose and not for being
accepted.
He doesn’t boast – a Sigma won’t praise himself in front of other
people and talk about his achievements unless asked, as he is modest.
He doesn’t open easily – a Sigma won’t share his thoughts and secrets
with just anyone, as you need to earn his trust and affection to open up
to you.
He could be a leader – a Sigma could be a leader just like an Alpha but
chooses to be a lone wolf. If a Sigma assumes a high position, he
won’t act, as he has the entire world under his feet.
He changes for himself – a Sigma won’t choose to change himself for
others, as he values his lifestyle and freedom, but he will change for
himself.
He is confident – Sigmas invest a lot of their time in learning and
developing new skills and spending time on self-improvement, which
is how they form their confidence.
He appreciates personal space – Sigmas like spending time alone,
often lost in their thoughts, brainstorming ideas, and learning more.
Personal space is very important for a Sigma.
He is intelligent – Sigma is fully aware of himself and the world
around him and understands how people function. He likes adopting
new skills and learning new things.
He is independent – a Sigma will rarely ask for help. They value their
independence and love doing things on their own.
He is respected and respectable – Sigmas respect other people and the
differences between people and is often respected for his directness,
honesty and that he values other people
He is mysterious – a Sigma will never reveal his entire life story to a
person and will rarely talk about himself. Even when asked, a Sigma
will communicate in concise sentences, revealing as little as possible.
When he knows something, he will say it, but he won’t provide an
explanation, considering it redundant.
All of these traits are part of Sigma’s undeniable charm and the reason(s)
why many women are attracted to Sigma males. You are an independent
man who doesn’t seek validation and doesn’t care about social norms. You
respect others and like to do things on your own without imposing your
opinion on others. You can adapt to any situation, including social
interactions. You approach problems with calmness and a critical mind,
always looking for the best solution and a way to excel.
Be aware of your qualities and use them to improve your life and make
the best out of what you are given.
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CHAPTER 5: MAINTAINING
INTEREST
I f any of the strategies for meeting and approaching the girl you like
succeeded, the next stage is maintaining interest if you wish to take your
connection to another level. If you like someone, you will most certainly try
to keep them close to you and try to balance your need to be alone, do your
own thing and spend time with your partner. As a Sigma, you like to be
alone with your thoughts and place a lot of value on your daily routines, but
what happens if you like someone that much that you want to share some of
your time with them?
Let’s see some strategies that can help you connect with your partner or
potential partner if you have only begun dating without losing your true self
and without compromising your independence.
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FLIRTING
Flirting is a way of communicating your affection for someone and can be
done silently through body language signs, verbally, and by touch. If you
want to keep a girl interested in you, you need to show her even beyond the
flirting game during the first encounter. Let’s see what some of the basics of
flirting as a Sigma male are.
Eyes Can Say a Lot
You must have heard the saying “The eyes are windows to your soul” – it’s
been repeated so many times that it has become a cliché, and you probably
remember what we said about creating clichés – cliché is, after all, a
universal truth that has been repeated so many times that it has become a
part of collective memory. Well, eyes do say a lot, even though they can’t
say everything there is about you. In the first place, your eyes can reveal
your intention.
When flirting with a girl, make sure to maintain eye contact to show
that you are listening and that she has your full attention. Likewise, when
you are talking to a girl, keep eye contact to let her know that you are
honest and confident with your words. Eyes can say a lot, even when no
words have been exchanged – remember the body language cues about eyes
and how people observe their surroundings.
Good Manners
As a Sigma, you are a true gentleman when it comes to good manners. You
respect others regardless of differences, and you respect other people’s
opinions. Show the girl you like that you respect her and care about her
opinion and what she has to say. Listening to her is also a great deal, as you
will also show that you are a good listener aside from having good manners
to open the doors for a lady or to offer her a seat. We all appreciate
respectful behavior, so good manners can take you a long way with a girl.
A Few Words May Take You a Long Way
Sigmas don’t rely on small talk and chitchatting that leads nowhere – these
social cues just don’t make sense to a Sigma who would rather talk about
significant topics with a purpose and a goal. Sigma also doesn’t share every
part of their cognitive process, which means that you may share a
conclusion or a philosophy in the form of a fact without explaining the
process of how you analyze these topics. This may be difficult when
flirting, as people mostly rely on small talk to engage in a conversation.
However, the girl you like may appreciate how direct you are and how you
can say a lot with only a few words.
Don’t Crave for Attention
Attention seeking is just not part of Sigma’s lifestyle. Sigma doesn’t need
validation or gratification in the form of being praised by others. He is
perfectly aware of himself and all the intricacies that make the person he is.
As a true Sigma, you are content with the affection you receive from the
people you like, but you are perfectly fine without it as you are more
dependent on self-validation. Show the girl you like that you appreciate her
interest and attention, but don’t act desperate to get it. Instead, rely on your
values and everything you appreciate about yourself - if she appreciates
your values as well, you will get the attention you need. So, essentially, the
key is always appreciating yourself and the things about yourself that make
you confident.
Physical Touch
Physical touch is crucial in relationships, and just like body language cues,
it can tell a lot about someone’s intentions and can equally reveal your
affection without the need to word it. Touch her hand with yours, lean on
her when you are standing next to each other, and touch her hair
occasionally when the situation calls for it. Physical touch makes a
relationship stronger and can also make two people grow close to each
other.
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KEEPING THE GIRL YOU LIKE
Once you get past the period of flirting and courting, in case you want to be
in a relationship, there are some things to note, as Sigmas don’t usually
comply with standard expectations that people have in a relationship. Even
though you may have started a relationship, it may be difficult to keep your
significant other because Sigmas are not ready to change their lifestyle for
anyone – they are independent, self-sufficient, and can go on without
socializing for long periods without feeling the need to be around people.
When you consider all the personality traits of a Sigma male, it is hard to
even imagine that a girl would agree to be in such a relationship where she
isn’t the priority and where you value the time you spend alone more than
you value spending time with someone else.
Another option is to date a girl who shares a similar lifestyle and
understands your needs concerning personal space, alone time, and the
never-ending need to grow.
Another thing to note about being a Sigma or categorizing yourself as
any type in the socio-sexual hierarchy of dominance is that the way these
personalities are described is fractal, which means that not all Sigmas are
the same. Sigma males may also find joy in sharing their time with
someone completely different from them. You can make a significant
connection with other people if their company suits you, and if you want to
make more time in your day for someone you care about, you will take the
initiative as a true Sigma and do it because you want.
Share a Glimpse into Your Mindset
When in a relationship or dating, it is recommended to share some of your
thoughts on life and how you see the world. Allow your partner to have a
glimpse into your mindset and learn something about how your mind
functions. You don’t need to spill everything and describe your lifestyle in
one go – you can share a glimpse into your mindset in a more natural way
and gradually as you spend more time with your partner.
If she is worried when she sees you glancing in the distance, not
knowing that you are drifting away with your thoughts, allow her to
experience the world from your perspective and briefly explain that this is
who you are and that this state is not negative. She might be glad to know
that you can be yourself in her presence.
Don’t assume that everyone knows the way you function, and this is a
logical method of functioning - Sigmas have a more unique lifestyle when
compared to Alpha’s and Beta’s for instance, in the sense that Sigma’s
lifestyle is perceived as unusual.
Treat Her Right
Even though you are mostly focused on your personal growth and self-
improvement, always looking for new experiences, if you want to share a
significant relationship with someone, you need to invest in your time with
them, too. Spend time with your partner doing something you both enjoy or
that she enjoys - trying out new things is important for you, and it is also
important for the development and growth of the relationship itself.
Treating her right means you are also honest with her as a true Sigma
always is, and it also means that you care about her feelings.
If you care about how your partner feels, make sure to share your
insights with her and observe her emotional expressions, so you’ll know
how to treat her accordingly. When you decide to be with someone, even if
you don’t know where this is leading, give them the best of yourself just
like you would do with anything else in life.
Respecting Others
Mutual respect is a necessity. One of the signs that a relationship is working
is having both partners respect each other’s boundaries, lifestyles, and
differences. Respecting someone means that you value them for who they
are and that they value you back – this is exactly what you want in a
relationship. You don’t want to spend your time with someone who can’t
appreciate you for being yourself, pressuring you into becoming someone
else. All the changes you make about yourself need to be made because you
want to change and not because someone is emotionally manipulating you
into changing. The same goes for your end – you can’t force people to
change, and as a true Sigma, you are less likely to even want that.
By respecting your partner and receiving respect in the same way, it will
also be easier for both of you to express yourself, while you will also feel
safe in each other’s presence.
Alone But Together
The fact that you like being alone and having time for yourself doesn’t
mean that you should neglect your partner’s needs if your partner knows
how to nurture your need for solitude. Even though you like to solve your
problems alone, don’t be afraid to share them with your partner – your
partner will be glad to know that you trust them enough to share your
problems with them. They will offer their help, even though they know that
you won’t take it – don’t lecture them about how you like to do things by
yourself; instead, thank your partner for being considerate and let them
know politely that you don’t need their help. That way, you are alone but
not apart from your partner as you have just shared something important.
It is also important for a couple to grow and develop together in a
relationship, as well as have an individual path of growth and improvement,
so make sure to work on your relationship as much as you would work on
yourself if you want it to last.
Listen
As we already know, listening is one of the traits that Sigmas have, as they
are very insightful and great listeners while they tend to be direct in
conversations, cutting straight to the point. Listening to your partner will
help you understand their needs and perception of your relationship with
them. Luckily, you are a good listener. Still, listening needs to be paired
with verbal communication as well. Your partner needs to listen to you and
understand your needs, too. Otherwise, the relationship won’t work with a
one-way effort.
Participate
Do something together and find time for some alone time, not with yourself
but with your partner. Both partners need to participate for the relationship
to work, which means that you should both be working for a mutual interest
– to be happy and content with life in general.
As a mysterious Sigma male, which might have attracted your partner in
the first place, you are better at “show” than “tell,” so instead of revealing
to your partner that you have mastered all your guitar lessons, play her a
song after dinner or when you feel like it. Learn her favorite song or
surprise her with your tune. Likewise, if you are great at cooking, you are
less likely to reveal that to your partner verbally, but you can make her an
amazing meal and surprise her instead. This way, you will also spice up
your relationship with mystery and awe.
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SEX AND SEXUALITY
If it weren’t for the sex part, you and your partner might as well be just
friends, and that is a fact. Sex is one of the most important aspects of a
romantic relationship and is also one of the main reasons why people break
up and drift apart. As such, you need to treat sex not only as an enjoyable
action or experience but a way to connect with your partner. Sex and the
intimacy involved can help you establish and strengthen the emotional
connection you have with your partner and strengthen the bond you have
with your own body. Sex allows you to explore not only your sexuality but
also your and your partner’s body in a pleasurable way.
In a way, sex includes many of the things we’ve been going through in
some of the previous chapters of our Sigma guide, as sex can help you
boost your confidence, have a meaningful connection with another person,
relieve stress, improve your health, and even serve the purpose of a light
workout. So, aside from being one of the most enjoyable things for humans,
sex can make you feel better, physically and mentally.
Here are some tips on sex and sexuality when it comes to how Sigmas
usually explore their sexual interests when in a relationship.
Share Your Interests
One of our tips for keeping a girl you like interested in you was to share
your interests and thoughts with her, as communicating with your partner is
essential for every healthy relationship. We encourage you to do the same
when it comes to sex. Yes, it is not very sexy to have an entire conversation
about what you and your partner like in bed, but you can show it to each
other instead and make it into a sex game, where each one of you will
casually show their partner where they want to be touched or kissed. The
most important thing, in this case, is that both of you are comfortable with
each other’s interests in bed. This is where respect must be included, as you
need to respect the boundaries your partner sets, and this respect needs to be
mutual.
If you feel comfortable with that, you can also verbally communicate
about what you like and don’t like, spicing it up with some of that Sigma
mystery you have.
Be Kind and Patient
Kindness and patience are some of the most cherished and rarest of human
qualities. Being kind to other people shows that you are concerned and
generous without the need for validation, which is also an important aspect
of every relationship – to understand and appreciate your partner without
expecting anything in return. However, there needs to be feedback for the
relationship to be healthy, which means that your partner also needs to be
kind and patient with you. Patience is not a stranger to assertive Sigmas
who know how to approach and handle their problems, while you will also
need to be patient with your partner like you are with other things in your
life. Have patience and understanding when your partner is feeling well, or
when she may have troubles understanding your lifestyle or your need to be
alone with your thoughts. You should also expect patience in return, as it
must go both ways to keep your connection alive.
Enjoy the Moment
Even the most seemingly stable relationships can collapse and do collapse,
which doesn’t mean that the relationship was all bad and wrong. Imagine
being with someone for years, let’s say three years; you’ve come to know
each other rather well, you share so many experiences and can tell how the
other is feeling just by the look of them – you have a connection. After a
while, you both or one of you feel that you no longer work together for
some reason. Even though the relationship ended, there were certainly
many great moments during your three years together. It is all these great
moments that made your relationship the way it was in the first place. That
is why you should enjoy every moment regardless of what the future may
bring. This is where your ability to be present can come as more than handy,
as you will create an intense and dynamic experience.
Keeping it Fresh and Exciting
To make the relationship long-lasting and as equally dynamic as at the
beginning when you were only dating, try keeping the relationship fresh
and exciting. The best part is that you don’t even have to try that hard to
make it happen, and as a huge plus, you will also create great moments to
remember. Keeping the relationship exciting also increases the probability
of staying together and will even make you more connected with your
partner, as you will create these moments together.
Do something together that none of you have ever done before or go on
a weekend getaway together. You can try going out to new places and trying
out new restaurants in town if that’s your thing. Even if it is not, give it a
go, at least for a new experience. Touch her when you feel like it to show
her your affection. Touch is important for all humans, as it provides us with
the feeling of safety, love, affection, and care that we need to thrive.
Spending time by yourself is also a great strategy for keeping the
relationship fresh, convenient for a Sigma male who appreciates selective
solitude. By being apart for a couple of days, you allow each other to grow
individually and focus on themselves. You can use that time to meet up with
friends, family or to work on yourself.
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6
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CHAPTER 6: HOW TO STRENGTHEN
YOUR SIGMA MALE PERSONALITY
T he hierarchical division constructed by Vox Day describes Sigma
males as the rarest among men. Sigma could easily become an Alpha
as he shares many of the same qualities noted in a leader, but he chooses not
to conform. Sigma refuses to be a part of the socio-sexual hierarchy and
thus, he can be whatever he wants without feeling the pressure to comply
with social norms and hierarchical dominance. As such, these types
represent the typical characteristics of different kinds of men that could be
categorized as Sigma, Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Omega but represent only
fractal characteristics that could be further classified not only as types but
also as stereotypes.
As a Sigma male, you may also have some characteristics noted in any
of the listed types as well as those of an Alpha, but it is your conduct that
determines who you are as a person. We all have layers, which is why it
isn’t easy to match a single stereotypical personality. As a true Sigma, you
live your life the way you want to and rely on your strengths and work on
your weaknesses, all while defying social constructs, so regardless of the
hierarchical type that you are “assigned,” you are who you want to be.
The most important thing is to keep working on yourself and be aware
that self-improvement is a never-ending challenge.
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WORKING ON SELF-IMPROVEMENT
Improve yourself in any way you believe is useful for your personality
development. Practice self-acceptance, self-love, and self-confidence with
any chance you get and become a better person, first and foremost for your
own sake.
Here are some of the top tips on maintaining your strength, keeping
your body fit, and understanding your needs, emotions, and lifestyle as a
Sigma male.
Maintaining Your Mental Strength
You’ve already started to practice your mental strength, and you have
probably come a long way since you’ve started with this guide. However,
just as you need to work on strengthening your resilience and practicing
mental strength, you also need to learn how to maintain your fortitude.
Act like a person you want to become – don’t wait to be happy and
confident in yourself until you achieve all your goals. Instead, act like
the person you want to become and embrace the idea of your better
self. This way, you will be setting yourself up for success, instead of
being happy after you learn that new skill or after you get promoted,
embrace the excitement of working on your goals. You will be happy
and content with yourself even before you reach your goals.
What are you grateful for? Complaining and waiting for a better time
to come when you will finally be at peace with yourself and be happy
is more difficult than analyzing your achievements and being grateful
for what you already achieved. Numerous studies have shown that
being grateful and appreciating everything you have in life increases
happiness and reduces stress. This way, you can generate more
strength to prepare yourself for future achievements.
Focus on the present – we can’t emphasize enough how important it is
to embrace mindfulness and just live in the present moment. This
ability will help you through harsh times, as you can always focus on
the here-and-now so you can analyze the difficult situation without the
pressure and stress caused by the problem.
Don’t give up – never give up on your goals, but make sure your goals
are achievable and realistic because you will only grow more
misfortunate if you are striving for the impossible. The impossible and
possible are defined through your abilities, your motivation, and
different circumstances in life. Since you are rather self-aware as a
Sigma, you know your limitations and are comfortable with your
potential. Motivate yourself into achieving everything you know you
can achieve in life.
Do things that you like – whether you enjoy listening to music,
writing, working out, or you have a hobby that you particularly enjoy,
just do it. By doing the things we like and enjoy the most, we allow
ourselves to thrive and heal when we are down and not feeling well.
Enjoying your favorite activities will also have beneficial effects on
your body and mind.
Be in touch with reality – be aware of your problems and the things
you need to handle, so you don’t fall into a dark pit of delusions, but
don’t obsess with your problems. Obsessing over things you need to do
or the problems you need to handle won’t offer any solution and will
make you feel depressed and uncomfortable about your place in the
world. Instead, think about everything you can do in a day to make you
closer to the resolution.
Maintaining Your Physical Appearance
Working out and keeping a healthy diet in check will not only make you fit
and healthy but will also make you feel great about yourself, mentally and
physically. Physical appearance also sends a message to other people – it
discovers how well you are taking care of yourself, how invested you are in
self-care, your lifestyle, and your overall conduct.
Keep up working out – find the workout routine that suits you the best
and spend at least half an hour each day swimming, running, jogging,
or working out at a local gym. You can keep your weights by your
bedside to motivate you to work out in the morning as part of your
routine at the start of every new day. Remember, working out doesn’t
only help us look good but also encourages the production of serotonin
and dopamine.
Take care of your hair and beard – decide on your hairstyle and the
style of your beard, which could be no beard as well – and make sure
to regularly visit your favorite barbershop. You can also experiment
with your look if you feel like it. A nicely groomed beard and hair will
also add more points to your confidence.
Buy new clothes – throw out anything you don’t plan to use and don’t
need, including clothes you no longer see yourself in. Buy some new
clothes and combine them with your favorite clothes to create new
outfits that you will wear with confidence. Changing something about
your style will make you feel brand-new and can be a rather refreshing
experience.
Personal hygiene – a true gentleman takes care of his hygiene,
including regular showers, washing your hair, taking care of your skin
(skin is the biggest human organ, so take great care of it!), brushing
your teeth, and overall staying fresh and clean. Be clean and always
feel fresh!
Understanding Your Needs and Emotions
From keeping your physical appearance to keeping your emotions in check,
you can’t be completely content and happy about yourself if you neglect
your emotions and your needs. So focus on what you need, day to day, to
stay in touch with yourself – analyze your emotional state whenever you
feel like you are losing grasp over how happy you are about your life.
Understand the origin of your emotions – why do you feel sad or
listless today? Why do you feel angry or let down? Whenever you feel
a negative emotion crippling upon you, identify it and deal with it at its
root before it starts affecting your day, week, month, and life in
general. Can you resolve the problem that is causing you to feel bad
about yourself? If the answer is “not all at once” or “not at the
moment,” then you should try practicing being present in the moment
and gradually deal with the problem you have. You shouldn’t stress
about the things you can’t change, as this sentiment will only make
you feel insecure and weak.
Listing your needs – you should create a list of what you want and
need in life, along with a brief strategy on how to get what you need.
Start by asking questions like “What would make me proud of
myself?”, “What would make me feel secure and safe?”, “How can I
be happy with myself?” and similar questions that will help you reveal
what is it that you lack in life to achieve your goals.
Emotional connection with other people – even though you are rather
self-sufficient as a Sigma, you still need to have a significant
emotional bond with at least one person, or you will at least need it at
some point in your life. Every human has a universal need to be loved,
which is achieved through establishing emotional connections and
bonds with other people. To put your self-sufficiency and
independence on the side, a significant other can complement your life
and make you even more motivated to achieve your goals.
A sense of achievement – having a sense that you have achieved
something complements your mental strength and makes you more
confident in yourself. To have a sense of achievement, set smaller
goals to achieve each day or every week, even when you are far from
completing a goal – that way, you will have a sense of achievement
and become more motivated by tracking the gradual process of
achieving your goals.
Self-awareness – as a Sigma, you are self-aware and in touch with
your negative and positive traits, so you know what needs to be
improved and which traits should be nurtured as they are. This also
means that you are aware of how other people perceive you. In
addition, you can analyze your emotions and needs with a logical
approach. Be in touch with yourself on your best and worst days as
you are still you even when things are not working in your favor.
Always Seek for Improvement
It is the very core of Sigma’s lifestyle to thrive and strive for better and
more. Your ability to perceive yourself through the prism of logic and
reality allows you to see yourself as you are, with good things and the bad.
That also means you are in constant pursuit of improvement. A Sigma
works every day to be a better man for himself the next day, which is how
he can be happy even on a difficult journey of self-improvement. The very
fact that you are giving your best and working on becoming the best version
of yourself should make you happy and at peace, while striving also makes
up a more dynamic life where you are challenged to achieve your goals.
Always seek improvement, even in little things, as practice makes
everything better, even if you are only taking small steps. It is the journey
that counts, not just the final destination. Appreciate your efforts and
acknowledge them with self-acceptance and the motivation needed to make
good things happen in life. As long as you are working on improving
yourself, you have at least a sense that you control your life and your
happiness.
Seize the Day
Every day is a new opportunity and a new challenge. If you feel like you
achieved nothing today, remember that you always have tomorrow. Every
new tomorrow is a brand-new chance for you to try again and remind
yourself why you are not giving up on your dreams. Seize the day and get
the most out of what you are given in life. Concerning things that you are
not given and wish to achieve in life, you can always think through ways to
create your opportunities, which is where your mental strength, resilience,
and the will to improve will shine.
The day is yours, Sigma, and so is every tomorrow – what you do with
your day is what counts in the end.
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