The Wisdom of Your Child's Face Discover Your Child's True
Nature with Chinese Face Reading
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Discover Your Child’s True Nature
with Chinese Face Reading
JEAN HANER
HAY HOUSE, INC.
arlsbad, California • New York City
London • Sydney • Johannesburg
Vancouver • Hong Kong • New Delhi
Copyright © 2010 by Jean Haner
Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.:
www.hay house.com • Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay
House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au • Published and
distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.:
www.hayhouse.co.uk • Published and distributed in the Republic of South
Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za • Distributed in
Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com • Published in India by: Hay
House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in
The following image numbers are from iStockphoto.com: 28, 30, 35, 37,
51, 59, 66, 72, 82, 83, 85, 89, and 92. All other photos were taken by Brian
Hartman, Seattle, Washington. Figures 1 and 2 were created by Jean Haner.
Figures 91, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 102, and 103 were created by Stephanie
McWilliams, San Diego, California.
The quotation by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross on page 121 is being used with
grateful permission from the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross Foundation.
Project editor: Patrick Gabrysiak
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any
mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a
phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system,
transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than
for “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—
without prior written permission of the publisher.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe
the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional,
or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or
indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a
general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-
being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for
yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher
assume no responsibility for your actions.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Haner, Jean.
The wisdom of your child’s face : discover your child’s true nature
with Chinese face reading / Jean Haner. -- 1st ed.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 978-1-4019-2534-5 (tradepaper : alk. paper) 1. Physiognomy--
China. 2. Children--Psychology. 3. Character. 4. Personality. I. Title.
BF851.H277 2010
138--dc22
2009047647
ISBN: 978-1-4019-2534-5
13 12 11 10 4 3 2 1 1st edition, June 2010
Printed in the United States of America
THIS BOOK
IS DEDICATED
TO THE POWER
OF A WOMAN’S HEART
TO CHANGE THE
WORLD.
CONTENTS
Introduction
PART I: The Territory
Chapter 1: Trust
Chapter 2: Temperament
Chapter 3: Face Value
PART II: The Map
Chapter 4: The Secret
Chapter 5: The Water Child: Artist, Innovator, Philosopher
Chapter 6: Reading the Water Features
• Ears
• Hair
• Hairline
• Upper Forehead
• Under Eyes
• Philtrum
• Chin
Chapter 7: The Wood Child: Warrior, Pioneer, Entrepreneur
Chapter 8: Reading the Wood Features
• Straight Hairline
• Eyebrows
• Eyebrows
• Brow Bone
• Temples
• Jaw
Chapter 9: The Fire Child: Lover, Performer, Free Spirit
Chapter 10: Reading the Fire Features
• Eyes
• Red or Curly Hair
• Tips of Features
• Dimples
• Freckles
Chapter 11: The Earth Child: Diplomat, Mother, Gatherer
Chapter 12: Reading the Earth Features
• Mouth
• Upper Eyelids
• Bridge of the Nose
• Area above the Upper Lip
• Lower Cheeks
Chapter 13: The Metal Child: Visionary, Father, Sensor
Chapter 14: Reading the Metal Features
• Nose
• Upper Cheeks
• Rear Lower Cheeks
• Fa Lin Lines
• Space Between Features
Chapter 15: Two Faces, Three Faces
PART III: The Journey
Chapter 16: The Map of Your Child’s Journey
Chapter 17: Reading a Child’s Face
Chapter 18: The Family
Chapter 19: Five-Element Parenting
Afterword
Acknowledgments
Bibliography
About the Author
Editor’s Note: In order to avoid awkward “he/she,” “him/her” references,
in some cases we have opted to use either masculine or feminine pronouns
for certain examples, alternating between the two. The same information
pertains universally to both boys and girls. Additionally, where we have
chosen to use the word “children,” this also applies to parents with one
child.
“For nothing is fixed, forever, forever, forever,
it is not fixed;
the earth is always shifting,
the light is always changing,
the sea does not cease to grind down the rock.
Generations do not cease to be born,
and we are responsible to them because we
are the only witnesses they have.
The sea rises, the light fails, lovers cling to each other,
and children cling to us.
The moment we cease to hold each other,
the moment we break faith with one another,
the sea engulfs us and the light goes out.”
— JAMES BALDWIN
INTRODUCTION
I was still in a state of awe as I lay my newborn son down in the shiny
wooden crib for the very first time. Even though he was a normal-sized
baby, he seemed sooo small, and the bed looked enormous in comparison.
Unable to bear him looking so tiny on that large mattress, I finally laid him
crosswise at the head of his bed! And then I sat down to gaze at his tiny
sleeping face, searching for the messages I’d been trained to read. Such a
full mouth! I thought. This would be a very cuddly guy, a young boy who
would revel in family gatherings but have a hard time with change. As a
teenager, he would never neglect to visit his grandmother, but might
become a bit too much of a pleaser. His ears lie close to his head, I noticed
with a relieved sigh … and I hoped they’d stay that way and not start to
stick out later on. This meant that he wouldn’t be an obstinate child. Thank
goodness! But he might need extra encouragement to go after what he
wanted in life. What his nose would reveal would have to wait awhile—that
wouldn’t start to grow into its true size and shape for a few years. His hair
was red, which made me laugh out loud. My son is half Chinese, so
everyone fully expected him to be born with black hair and no hint of my
own strawberry blonde. When she first saw him, my sweet Chinese mother-
in-law had hastened to assure me that it would soon change to black, as if
red hair were a misfortune! As he grew, his hair did darken to brown,
though with red highlights, and I have to admit I’m still tickled that his
looks reflect a balance of both sides of his lineage.
Discovering Face Reading
When I married into a Chinese family seven years before, I never
dreamed it would open a doorway for me to discover that someone’s inner
nature could be understood by reading the features of his or her face, let
alone understand my own baby on such a deep level right from the start. It
was my very traditional mother-in-law who first introduced me to Chinese
face reading, pointing out that a certain person wasn’t someone to ever do
business with, and that another would have no trouble attracting a mate,
based on just looking at their faces. This all seemed rather “woo-woo” to
me, and incredibly judgmental on top of that. How on earth could the shape
of people’s eyes or the creases in their cheeks have anything to do with their
temperament or potential in life? And what a harsh thing to reject or accept
others based strictly on appearance. If you were born with one kind of nose,
was that the end of it for you—that is, no one would want to hire you or
marry you? But if you happened to have a different sort of nose, would
everyone then want to be your best friend? Initially, this was just a bunch of
superstitious folklore, as far as I was concerned.
However, what did intrigue me was the advice my mother-in-law shared
with me when her son and I were searching for a home right after we got
married. What she was saying made intuitive sense to me and confirmed my
own reactions to various properties; although up to that point, I had no
logical explanation for why one house just didn’t seem right and another
was winking and wiggling its hips at me!
My husband’s mother talked about this very strange thing called “fung
soo-ey,” which back in the late 1970s was barely known in the West, though
we know of it today as feng shui. The rest of the Chinese side of the family
was quite embarrassed by this, insisting I shouldn’t listen to her and that she
was just being superstitious. But unlike her face-reading advice, this
information regarding the energy of environments made distinct sense to
me, and I paid close attention to what she was saying. But she usually
wasn’t able to explain the “whys” of her knowledge, and it was important
for my analytical mind to understand the logic underlying this system. I
went on to seek out many teachers over the years to learn the deeper
meaning behind the set of odd rules that my mother-in-law followed, and
eventually ended up teaching feng shui and doing consulting work based on
its principles all over the world.
It was my work with feng shui that brought me back to Chinese face
reading. After learning about its ancient foundations, I began to reexamine
my initial negative reaction to it. Perhaps it too was more than it had
seemed at first. What really convinced me to reconsider its validity was the
thought that if I could know more about my clients’ inner thoughts and
feelings, I could be more effective for them. But what I discovered was so
much more than that, and it changed my life forever. Certainly being able to
know my feng shui clients on a deeper level based on the powerful
messages their faces revealed was revolutionary for my work, but it was
seeing how this wisdom could help all people finally feel comfortable in
their own skin—and as a result understand their life journey for the first
time—that made me aware I had to bring this information to the world in a
more accessible way.
So after years of teaching and consulting, I wrote my first book, The
Wisdom of Your Face, in order to help people read the “sacred calligraphy”
of their features and learn to love themselves and others in a much more
spacious way. The outpouring of excitement and gratitude I’ve received in
response to that book has been breathtaking, and the international
community carrying its message of compassion and awareness has
continued to grow exponentially. In every city where I speak or teach,
people come up to me and share the personal revelations this work has
brought them. And so many of the stories have had to do with parents
understanding their children better, thus preventing or healing conflicts; or
them understanding their own parents better, which allowed them to resolve
old issues that had kept them tethered to the past. It soon became obvious
that a book about children was the logical next step in my journey.
What You Can Expect from This Book
What you hold in your hands is the accumulated knowledge from years
of study and observation of parents’ and children’s faces, personalities,
relationships, problems, and life choices. Its purpose is to present you with
easy and practical ways to understand your children’s behaviors better;
recognize who they really are inside; and trust, honor, and support those
bright young spirits so they can flourish. There have been many times in
workshops and private consultations when I’ve been amazed by how often
parents misinterpret their children’s behavior because they aren’t aware of
what their little ones’ true inner experiences really are. This can lead to
misconceptions piling up, creating frustrations and reactions that only serve
to make everything worse. I’ve worked with more than one family who was
barely speaking to each other by the time they finally met with me, due to a
complete misread of the real reasons behind their child’s actions and
attitude. While that’s the extreme, even smaller everyday interactions can
cause so much needless stress—something that we all have too much of
already.
On top of that, it’s natural for parents to project onto their children
certain expectations, hopes, or dreams for who they want them to be.
Anytime they differ from these, it can at the very least be confusing for the
parents, if not discouraging, and create anxiety about how a situation should
be handled. For example, if you expect your son to be as bookish as you
were at his age, but instead he couldn’t care less about reading, do you try
to manipulate or bribe him into being interested, or worry about his ability
to succeed in school and eventually in his career? Do you hold your tongue
but harbor a sense of concern or disappointment that he can still feel?
Wouldn’t it be valuable to have the power to know if it’s necessary to take
action about a concern, or whether what you’re experiencing is how your
child’s process was designed to be?
Through my work over the years, I’ve come to believe that each of us is
born with a soul’s intent: to be a certain kind of person; to learn specific
lessons; and to heed an inherent calling … that is, we each have a special
purpose to fulfill. The challenge we all encounter to one degree or another
is to stay true to our inner nature and personal calling. Our job as parents is
to love and support our children as they embody their unique design so they
can become its fullest expression.
The messages waiting on our children’s faces are our guides to who they
came here to be, what they plan to learn, and where they can go with their
potential. This vital information gifts us with the wisdom to know how to
trust and honor their life plan and make them feel truly loved for who they
are.
• • •
In Part I of this book, we’ll examine Western concepts of temperament
and personality, which are our culture’s understanding of human nature
that’s most similar to that of the Chinese. We’ll then discover how
important faces really are to us humans, and how the practice of reading
them developed in China over the millennia. In Part II, we’ll learn the
universal principles that are the foundation of this work, and how they
appear as archetypal personalities that are observable in children’s behavior
and recognizable in the features and characteristics of their faces. Aside
from specific guidance for parents, each section will also include thoughts
for teachers who, in my opinion, are obscenely undervalued in the U.S. and
should be earning the salaries of sports stars. In Part III, we’ll discuss
additional information that can be recognized from the different areas of
anyone’s face and how the facial map reveals the journey through life. Then
we’ll look at some faces for practice readings along with my commentary.
Last, we’ll see how interconnected families truly are, and how who we are
—our own thoughts and feelings—influence our children far more than we
might imagine.
