WHEN LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH

An

 Expectations
 Difficult to compromise
 Unmutual feelings


See mine
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LOVE, FEELINGS AND REALITY

“…Love is a word that comes and goes but few people really know what it really means to love
somebody…”
Kirk Franklin's “Love”

To be honest, the complexities of the understanding of love are overwhelming and what makes
this even more so are the distinctiveness of humanity: intelligence, perception, creativity,
language, environment, individualities and life experiences. So from a standpoint, we can
consider love as an essentiality of humanity which is rooted in deep and genuine care,
compassion, and respect for all people regardless of their backgrounds, beliefs,
or circumstances. From another standpoint in man and woman relationships,
love is a lot more complex.
In all sincerity, there is no generic definition to this type neither is there a one
size-fits-all-approach to getting or giving it. However, we can say that it is a state of
the mind that is affirmed by the awareness (feelings) of the flutters one experiences when
thinking about or around someone. On this premises, is it plausible to say that love and feelings
are the same? Of course not!!!!

Love and feelings are two worlds apart. Although it's really not surprising that the illusions of the
ideals of love and its accompanying feelings are best lived in the pages of well-crafted, tailor-
made novels and gargantuan absurdities in movies and product campaigns, the irony is that
these imaginations have become the reality of many young people who don't know how much
damage has been done to their psyche. Or where do you think the “rich tall dark and
handsome" meme started from?

Indeed, no one is shrugging off the fact that love and feelings are intertwined but the
misconception of one as the other usually puts one in a difficult situation. For starters, feelings
can be devoid of love and love can be devoid of feelings in man and woman relationships.
Confused? This is how it works. Feelings (which is an emotional state of awareness or reaction)
always thrive on the wings of the superficial: sexual attraction, beauty, voice texture, gait,
jocularity, vocality, etc. and can be very strong to have the resemblance of genuineness. This
euphoria continues to fly until there is a shift or change in taste. The very reason people date for
the shortest periods these days: two weeks, one, two or six months and they are so done! Love
is not the word you say to becloud reasoning. It is behavioural, it is an act! It is tender. The
reality of this tenderness extends beyond feelings and connects to the deep things beneath the
peripheral. It is empathetic, understanding, unselfish and sacrificial. It is conscious and careful,
too careful to hurt.

Now here is the gist. The reality of love is strengthened by feelings (which is an affirmation and
the juice of love). Feelings are a response (after a person has been in a state for a while---long
or short) and they constitute the utmost height of love. Feelings can be so strong that you could
be blinded to ignore subtle red flags and even yearn and feel their presence in absential as
though they were with you. Little wonder many who prioritise feelings before love take its
offerings as mere acts of kindness. Feelings can mislead you to love the worst personality ever
when you build on your superficial attraction to them. Love doesn't. Love is calculative, it runs
concurrently with reality. And when it is pursued, it is done with purpose and determination. The
ones in these category don't fall in love like the feelings people, they are very conscious and
deliberate.

Having considered these angles, the complexities of love still remain no doubt. Maybe one of
them is the “love triangle" (ironies of love) thing where A wants B but B wants C instead and C
doesn't want B except for gratification. Or C wants A and doesn't want B in a more complex
triangle. Wahala! Maybe another is the love one gives without getting something commensurate
or any in return. And maybe just maybe how certain imaginations, wishes and mysteries of
falling in love have become the reality of few. With all of these regardless, one certain thing is
that love and feelings are not the same but are two different sides of a coin.
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SEE YOURS
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Once upon a time, in a small village nestled by a serene river, there lived a young man named
Alfred. Alfred was known throughout the village for his kind heart, infectious laughter, and
unwavering belief in love. He believed that love held unparalleled power and could conquer all
obstacles that life threw at him.

One sunny afternoon, while strolling through the village, Alfred noticed a peculiar sight.
Underneath a large oak tree, a group of young children were engrossed in a lively game of hide-
and-seek. As Alfred approached, his eyes were captivated by a little girl named Vivian. Her
twinkling eyes, radiant smile, and innocent charm instantly stirred something deep within his
heart.

From that moment on, Alfred found himself entangled in a web of emotions — love, infatuation,
and an overwhelming desire to protect and cherish Vivian. His newfound feelings shaped the
lens through which he viewed the world. Colours became more vibrant, songs more melodic,
and every day seemed to hold the promise of something magical.

As Alfred and Vivian spent more time together, their bond evolved into a beautiful love story.
They would walk hand-in-hand along the riverbank, sharing their dreams, aspirations, and
intimate thoughts. Their connection was pure, unadulterated, and seemed impervious to the
hardships that life occasionally threw their way.

However, life has a way of testing even the strongest of bonds. As the years rolled by, Alfred
and Vivian discovered that the realities of the world often clanged against the idealistic notions
of love they had once held dearly.

One cloudy afternoon, Alfred's father fell gravely ill, and the weight of the world seemed to bear
down on his shoulders. He was forced to confront the harsh reality that love alone could not
mend his father's ailments. Alfred was filled with frustration, anger, and an overwhelming sense
of helplessness. The world appeared to lose its enchantment; even the once-gleaming river
seemed tainted with sorrow.

In his solitude, he acknowledged that love, as intoxicating as it may be, does not exist in
isolation. Like the river that flows through the village, love must navigate the currents of reality.
Life is a tapestry woven with a delicate balance of happiness and sorrow, joy and pain. It is in
acknowledging and accepting this sophisticated dance of emotions that one can truly embrace
love's strength.

As Alfred grew older, he learned that love does not always bestow a happily-ever-after ending. It
can bring tears, heartbreak, and moments of despair. Yet, despite these challenges, love
endures. It teaches resilience, forgiveness, and empathy.

And so, his journey continues, with a newfound wisdom in his heart. Love, feelings, and reality
must coexist, intertwining like the branches of a sturdy oak tree. The innocence of a child's
laughter will forever echo in his memories, reminding him that love is a force that can illuminate
even the darkest corners of life.

So, my dear friends, embrace the beauty of love. Cherish the moments that ignite your heart,
but also embrace reality—the highs and lows, the joys and sorrows. It is within this sophisticated
dance that love truly shines, transforming our lives into living legends of hope, resilience, and
shared humanity.