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 Another Random Document on
Scribd Without Any Related Topics
PROCEEDINGS OF LEARNED SOCIETIES, 1841.

THE STATISTICAL SOCIETY.

[Our country readers may probably not be aware that there exists in
London a body of pleasant-minded gentlemen, constituting a society
bearing the above name, who collect, with never-wearying
application and research, the various statistical reports connected
with every subject of the day. Their proceedings are duly chronicled
in the different scientific and literary reviews, but as these may not
be within the reach of all, we have collected the most interesting
points discovered by their labours, during the past twelvemonth, and
present them as a "Year Book of Facts" to our admirers.]

Some valuable particulars have been gained in connection with the

supper taverns of London. Of every twenty visitors, it appears that
eight order Welsh rabbits, six ditto broiled kidneys, four ditto
poached eggs, and two ditto chops or steaks, as their taste may
direct; and that these numbers are divided into seven medical
students, five lawyers' clerks, three gentlemen from the country, the
same number of men about town, and two shop-boys or single
tradesmen, who imagine they are so. Of these, more than one-third
call the waiters "Charles," or "Tom;" two in five join loudly in the
burdens of "The Pope," and "The Monks of Old;" and one in four
encores the comic songs by striking his fists upon the table, until the
cruets commence performing an intricate figure of their own, and
finally tumble down upon the floor.
The statistics of Camberwell Fair are exceedingly interesting; and the
following return of the state of fifty dolls there purchased, at the end
of a week from the time of buying, will be read, we are assured,
with avidity:
 Had their eyes poked in, and rattling loose in the head 12
Ditto picked out 8
Despoiled of their wigs 6
Lost their arms and legs 9
Melted before the fire 3
Had their noses beaten flat against the bars 7
Totally destroyed 4
In tolerable preservation 1
——
Total 50
As the affection of a child for its doll proverbially increases according
to the dilapidated state of the latter, the above tables afford an
interesting view of the probable existing proportion of nursery
attachments at the present moment. One child in three, at the Fair,
had a mouth covered with gingerbread crumbs, and five in twelve
had the stomach-ache. The promenade Concert d'Eté, which lasted
all day long, embraced twenty-two penny trumpets, or cornets-à-
bois, nineteen musical fruits, six fiddles with packthread strings, and
four drums, varying in price from sixpence to two shillings. A solo, by
a very young performer, on a tin rattle filled with peas, was very
much admired.
A paper, involving some singular points of manufacturing economy,
has been written, entitled, "What becomes of all the pins?" It
appears, from Professor Partington, that twenty millions of pins are
daily manufactured in this country. These get into general
circulation, and after a time, entirely disappear; but the remarkable
fact is, that, like the swallows, nobody knows where they go to. It is
proved that, were it possible to recall these lost articles, a quantity
might be collected sufficient to build the projected foot-bridge at
Hungerford Market, and the residue might be cast into one
enormous pin, which should be erected as a column in any part of
London best suited for its elevation, and to be called "Victoria's Pin,"
in opposition to "Cleopatra's Needle," at Alexandria. There would be
a winding staircase in the interior, with a saloon in its head, and it
might serve, not only as a land-mark in stormy weather for the
fourpenny steamboats plying between Vauxhall and London Bridge,
but, since the setting up of statues to everybody that dies is getting
into fashion, the column could be crowned with an image of
Shakspeare, Byron, or any other inferior character who has not yet
been so honoured, in London, beyond the lobbies of the theatres
and Madame Tussaud's.
From the visiting report "On the Lunatic Asylums of the United
Kingdom," we learn that the persons of unsound or slightly cracked
intellects in England, amount to ninety per cent., but that straight-
waistcoats have gone out of fashion, being superseded by straight
pea-jackets with the majority of the aberrated. Of a great quantity of
lunatics now in Bedlam, five out of thirteen are addicted to punching
the crowns out of their hats, and then putting them on topsy-turvy;
and two in seventeen are not quite clear whether they are the
Secretary of State or Julius Cæsar, but collect small pebbles, which
they call petrified bears' heads and five-shilling pieces. Ninety-one
and a half per cent. believe they are perfectly sane, and that all the
rest are stark mad; whilst two in nine are preparing to bring an
action against the Queen for breach of promise of marriage. Of three
hundred wooden bowls allowed them for their gruel, twenty-four
had been thrown at the nurses and keepers in one day; and, in a
single instance, one had been converted into a species of cap, which
was put on with much solemnity, and the wearer then kept close
watch in the yard for the whole week over a strawberry-pottle, which
he represented to be Windsor Castle. At Hanwell, from the proximity
of the asylum to the railway, twenty per cent. believe that they are
first-class carriages, and have a habit of whistling loudly when they
approach, that the others may get out of the way; a proceeding
which is generally advisable.
A statement has also been made connected with the omnibuses of
the metropolis, from which it appears that, when you are waiting at
the corner of any street for an omnibus, seven out of eight are going
the wrong way. Ninety per cent. of the cads ask if you will ride
outside when you hail them; and, out of thirteen passengers, three
wear kid gloves, eight sport brown Berlin, and two none at all.

REPORT OF THE CATNACH SOCIETY.

Established a.d. 1841, on the Model of the Camden, Percy, and

Shakspeare Societies.

RULES.

I.—The Society shall be called the Catnach Society.

II.—The chief object of the Society shall be to reprint rare and
unedited ballads and handbills, printed, at various times, by Messrs.
Catnach, Birt, and Pitt, of Great St. Andrew Street, Seven Dials.
III.—The Society shall consist of as many subscribers as can be got
together, and, as a precaution against bolting, the subscriptions shall
be paid in advance.
IV.—A subscription of a guinea a year shall entitle the members to
receive a copy of all the works issued by the Society.

BOOKS ALREADY PRINTED.

1.—The Greenacre Garland; or, a Merrie Manual for Midnight

Murderers: A collection of the most remarkable dying-speech bills
issued within the last forty years; comprising letters written, and
hymns composed by the malefactors the night before their
executions, speeches on the scaffold, copies of verses detailing the
crime, and written for music, with views of the execution, and
occasional portraits of the felons. Edited by the late Thomas
Cheshire, Esq., of Newgate, Middlesex.
2.—A Collection of Political Songs and Ballads, having reference to
some local particulars connected with a county election in 1833. As
the allusions in these relics are but imperfectly understood, and the
interest has quite gone by, this forms a valuable addition to the
works already published.
3.—The Street Anthology of the Nineteenth Century; comprising
notices of the most popular itinerant musicians of the day: to which
is added, an inquiry into the probable author of "Jim along Josey;"
with memoirs of the following eminent perambulators—viz., the little
man in the soldier's coat, with the "jolly nose," who indulges in Billy
Barlow and Follow the Drum, under a very diminutive and
dilapidated umbrella, on certain evenings in Leicester Square; the
professional gentleman in the oil-skin cap, and whiskers inclining to
auburn, who sings to the dulcimer and attends the races; the
ambiguous character who ties his hair in bows, wears sandals,
carries a fan, and sings "She promised to buy me a bunch of blue
ribbons," and dances to the chorus—"Tilly ung de rung tung de rung
day," as he plays an imaginary piano on his ribs; the two young
gentlemen who black their faces with soot and tallow, and sing "Sich
a getting up stairs," standing upon their heads, and dancing with
their feet in the air; the conjuror who wears a scarlet coat, does the
doll trick, and tries to imitate "Jerry," but who does not succeed
therein.
4.—Merrie England in the Modern Time; or, Richardson and his
Friends. A singular collection of showbills and street advertisements,
edited by the late Mr. Richardson, of travelling-theatre celebrity;
including details of the various fairs he attended, and embracing
endless anecdotes of his contemporaries—the learned pig, black wild
Indian, white Negress, Scotch giant, fat boy, Welsh dwarf, young
Saunders, Mr. Samivell, the equestrian, &c.; interspersed with many
outlandish songs and recitations, and dialogues between masters of
shows and Mr. Merriman.
5.—Three Yards for a Penny. A répertoire of some reprinted popular
lyrical poems prevalent at the commencement of the reign of Queen
Victoria; including "Happy Land," "Claude du Val," "Woodman, spare
that Tree," "Nix my Dolly," "Wanted a Something," &c. &c.
 AN EARNEST LOVE LETTER.
To the Editor of the Comic Almanack.
Good Master Rigdum Funnidos,

I am incurably in love with a young lady, residing in the country, but have
reason to think, from what passed between us at our last interview, that she
has some misgivings respecting my fidelity. I therefore beg you will insert
these lines in your Almanack, which, as it circulates everywhere, will show
everybody that my intentions are strictly honourable.
Yours,
Greatly obliged, &c.,
Phil. Philomel.
Oh! why these cruel taunts throw out,
And say you cease to love me;
Or my affection that you doubt?
By all the stars above me,
I am not false—yet, since I fear
To meet a flat rejection,
I'll tell you when you may, with cause,
Mistrust my fond affection:

When trains from Railway termini

Start off at the same hour
Two weeks together, then begin
To doubt your beauty's power;
Or, when embankments cease to fall,
Or boilers to explode,
Or engines to run off the line,
You may some change forbode:

When shrimps are caught at Putney Bridge,

And gudgeons at Herne Bay,
When the Thames Tunnel clears enough
Its shareholders to pay;
Or, when Thorwaldsen's "Byron" stands
In Westminster's old Abbey,
You may, with truth, begin to think
My conduct rather shabby:

When Autumn tourists cease to roam

To Switzerland or Baden;
Or when the lessees fortunes make
At "Drury," or "The Garden;"
When busses move along the Strand
As fast as you can walk—
Then think my words no longer true,
My vows of love all talk:

But until then I swear by all

But, until then, I swear by all
The topics of the year—
The corn laws, sugar, opium, tea,
Lin, Elliott, and Napier.—
By D'Aumale's fortunate escape,
And Marie, "femme Laffarge,"
Who writes as well within her cell
As if she were at large:

Or by Napoleon's catafalque,
'Midst such grand rites erected
(Although it made not half the stir
The French King had expected);
By the dim last declining rays
Of weather-doom'd Vauxhall,
Or by Cerito's masquerade,
Which ne'er took place at all:—

By all these things, and many more

Which I've no time to write
(Because the various mail-trains start
At half-past eight each night),
I swear again, to prove most true,
And every vow fulfil,
Till fashion's idlers quit Hyde Park,
And lounge on Tower Hill.
 LIKELIHOODS.
Is it likely—that the young Prince can lead any other than the life of
a soldier, since he is already in arms?
Is it likely—that you can ride in an omnibus, without catching one
pane, through the absence of another?
Is it likely—that you can ever get the work you particularly want at a
Subscription Library?
Is it likely—that you can be riding within half a mile of the theatres,
in the evening, without having twenty playbills thrust in at your
coach-windows?
Is it likely—when attending a meeting of creditors, where time is
asked for, that you will ever hear of less than the probability of thirty
shillings in the pound?
Is it likely—that anybody on the Free List ("the public press
excepted") can gain admittance at a theatre when there is anything
worth seeing or hearing?
Is it likely—that any account of a fire can be inserted in the
newspapers, unaccompanied by "further particulars?"
Is it likely—that an unfavourable review of a work can appear,
without the author's declaring that the writer has been actuated by
private malice?
Is it likely—that you will find the National Gallery, or British Museum,
open at the day or hour a country cousin has selected for visiting it?
Is it likely—that you can receive a present of game from the country
without paying, in carriage, more than it is worth, and being
expected to send a basket of fish in return?
Is it likely—that your servant will find a coach or cab, on the nearest
stand, when you are in a hurry?
Is it likely—that a friend will remember to return your umbrella until
the dry weather sets in?
Is it likely—when you get into an omnibus at the Bank, that you will
arrive at Bond-street in the time in which you could have
pedestrianised the distance twice over?
Is it likely—that the "positively last night" of a dramatic Star will be
the end of his performances?
Is it likely—that a publisher will omit to announce a work as "just
ready," when it is not even written by the author?
Is it likely—that you will hear the popular preacher whose fame has
attracted you five miles on a foggy November Sunday morning?
Is it likely—that you can remember the number of the coach in
which you have left your new silk umbrella?
Is it likely—that the street musicians will pass on under double the
usual time, if you happen to be in a particularly ill-humour, or are
engaged in the miseries of authorship?
Is it likely—that a day can pass without the manager of a theatre
receiving ten applications, from "particular friends," for the use of
the stage-box?
Is it likely—that you can listen to a traveller, without hearing "when I
was abroad," twenty or thirty times repeated?
Is it likely—for a snuff-taker to offer his box, without observing, "that
it is a bad habit, but he cannot do without it?"
Is it likely—for your country friends not to have seen more of the
London lions than you, who have been in town all your life?
Is it likely—that a friend will refuse to lend you a hundred pounds,
without giving you plenty of advice?
Is it likely—that you can take a trip to a watering-place, without
ever-last-ingly running against your shoemaker, and finding your
butcher there, "cutting it fat?"
Is it likely—that you can put on a new pair of boots, without wishing
the maker of them at—a pretty considerable distance; and driving a
hole in the floor with your stamp of—anything but approbation?
Is it likely—that a young lady can be induced to sit down to the
piano-forté, until after she has raised fifty objections?

Not very!

NOT VERY LIKELY

 THE
COMIC ALMANACK
For 1843.
 OH! LAW!
There never were such times as these! A barrister could once, with
ease, have got as many fees, by merely signing pleas, as would have
given him something more than bread and cheese; but destiny's
decrees have made it feasible no more to get such fees; and if the
lawyers please to live, they can no longer live by pleas.
Those days, alas! are flown, when seeds of litigation, shrewdly
sown, were very often known, not through a single life alone to have
thriven and grown, but to have reach'd the state that's call'd full
blown, in time for the attorney's son to make the crop his own. But
now the lawyers are thrown over—the system's overthrown.
The common law is common now no more; full many a clause in
Acts of Parliament has clipped its claw. The time is o'er, when, for an
hour, one could jaw about the spelling of the man who did the
indictment draw, and whose mistake, or clerical faux paw, had
floored poor ill-used justice by a literal flaw.
If Eldon now could rise and see the changes made since he would
doubt and disagree e'en with his own decree, what would the great
man's feelings be? He'd say this seems not like the Court of
Chanceree, in whose old customs I had hoped that we had an estate
in fee; such suits as these would not have suited me!
Oh! who would once have dared to dream that judges could have
worked by steam? Although, without a joke, justice would very often
end in smoke; and, from the speeches still preserved on paper, we
find that legal eloquence was often only vapour; while law itself
contained, as it would seem, the element and principle of steam; for
those who ever had a bout of it, found it hot water, and were very
glad when they got out of it. Mechanics' principles the lawyers knew,
and made amazing use of two—the wedge and screw! But of the
third, in early legal cases, there is little heard; for though to scientific
men of old the lever was well known, as we are told, the lawyers
seem to have refused it, or never used it. The lever they despised;
at least we find them not leaving anything they could take behind
them! But it is also thought some early barristers so often moved in
court, that they had something like a notion of coming to perpetual
motion.

Oh, Law!
 A LAW REPORT.
Doe on the demise of Roe, versus Roe on the demise of Doe.

This was a case of ejectment. Gabble (Q.C.) for plaintiff.—"This is a

clear case of ouster (Shower, 2); but if the tenant in possession
disputes the title of tenant in tail, he cannot plead laches (Campbell,
1)." In this case the remainder man was regularly let in, but the
widow cannot now claim dower (Blackstone, 3). Suppose the
mortgagee had been anxious to foreclose, then plaintiff must have
been guided by the rule in Shelly's case (Adolphus and Ellis, 6.) Here
there is nothing of the kind. If defendant takes anything, it is in the
character of tenant in reversion after the possibility of issue extinct
(Shower, 1).
Thumpus (Serjeant) contra.—Doe takes only a chattel interest, or, at
most, a base fee (Taunton, 6). The court must presume that the
outstanding term is satisfied (East, 6). The rule is not now as Coke
laid it down, for Mansfield (C. J.) declined taking it up. This is a case
of common ouster. Doe walked in as trustee, and was kicked out in
tail. There is no relief for him at common law (Bracton). The door
was shut upon him by defendant's son, and the parent is not
answerable for the act of the boy (Chitty). Judgment was now
delivered by the court.
Mither (C.J.)—This is an uncommon case. Doe was never regularly
in, nor was Roe regularly out. Both took as devisees of the same
testator. The case in Shower cannot guide us here, though the rule
laid down has been recognised. I do not think there is much in the
objection to the widow's claim of dower, though I see I have got it
upon my notes. A mortgagee may suffer by laches, but then the
defendant should have pleaded the tort. There is nothing of this on
the record, and the verdict must go accordingly.
Puny (J.)—I am of the same opinion. My brother Thumpus has
referred us to Bracton. I know the point in Bracton, and have
decided it twice the other way. But here I think the rule in Shelly's
case comes in and carries the verdict.
Twaddle (J.)—There are four points in this case; three of them
amounted to nothing, and the fourth has been conceded. The laches
ought to have appeared on the pleadings. There cannot be a use
upon a use (Sanders), but a trustee may take by the common law,
which the statute, Jac. II., c. 14, did not interfere with. The
provisions of the act removed much abuse, and the eighty-fourth is a
particularly wholesome section. Here these questions do not arise,
and, as the rule is clear, the verdict must follow it.
Shiver (J.)—I am of the same opinion.

(Gentlemen in the Direction.)

 LONDON AND UNIVERSAL DEPOSIT
ASSOCIATION.
Time of taking in, ten to four. Drawing out, ten to one.
 Wanted some fine young men, without delay,
To carry boards about the street,
And pop into the board-room once a day,
As shareholders, to muster a display,
When the directors meet.
It is expected all will be quite willing
To take a share for which they'll pay a shilling.
All those who don't object to taking more
Will profit in a very high degree;
And any one who purchases a score
Becomes vice-president and life trustee.
To each vice-president, besides his pay
Of eighteen-pence a day
Which is of all deductions clear
There is allowed a pot of beer.
The company beg to propose a job,
That is adapted well to any single swell,
Or may be undertaken by the mob.
In plainer terms to speak, there is a meeting once a week,
At which it is advisable to muster,
Of flashy-looking gentlemen, a cluster.
A liberal price to any one who brings
Of gold, of course mosaic, a display;
But there is some reduction in the pay,
When the Directors find pins, chains, and rings.
Immediate application is required
From those by whom employment is desired;
Because the company will soon begin
To take Shareholders and deposits in.
And there is very little doubt,
That when the time arrives for drawing out,
The company, by some strange antic,
Will be removed across the Atlantic.
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