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Dangerous Counsel
 Dangerous Counsel
Accountability and Advice in Ancient Greece

MATTHEW LANDAUER

The University of Chicago Press

Chicago and London
The University of Chicago Press, Chicago 60637
The University of Chicago Press, Ltd., London
© 2019 by The University of Chicago
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any
manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief
quotations in critical articles and reviews. For more information, contact the
University of Chicago Press, 1427 E. 60th St., Chicago, IL 60637.
Published 2019
Printed in the United States of America

28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 12345

ISBN-13: 978-0-226-65401-0 (cloth)

ISBN-13: 978-0-226-65379-2 (paper)
ISBN-13: 978-0-226-65382-2 (e-book)
DOI: 10.7208/chicago/9780226653822.001.0001

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Landauer, Matthew, author.

Title: Dangerous counsel : accountability and advice in ancient Greece /
Matthew Landauer.
Description: Chicago ; London : The University of Chicago Press, 2019. |
Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019009194 | ISBN 9780226654010 (cloth : alk. paper) |
ISBN 9780226653792 (pbk. : alk. paper) | ISBN 9780226653822 (e-book)
Subjects: LCSH: Greece—Politics and government—To 146 B.C. | Political
consultants—Greece. | Government accountability—Greece. | Democracy—
Greece. | Despotism—Greece. | Comparative government.
Classification: LCC JC73 .L25 2019 | DDC 320.938—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019009194

This paper meets the requirements of ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992 (Permanence

of Paper).
 Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1 Accountability and Unaccountability in Athenian Democracy

2 The Tyrant: Unaccountability’s Second Face

3 The Accountable Adviser in Herodotus’ Histories

4 Responsibility and Accountability in Thucydides’ Mytilenean

Debate

5 Parrhēsia across Politeiai

6 Demagoguery and the Limits of Expert Advice in Plato’s Gorgias

Conclusion

Notes
Bibliography
Index
 Acknowledgments

This project has benefited from the advice of many over the years—
although, of course, responsibility for the finished product is mine
alone. For conversations and comments, I wish to thank in particular
Danielle Allen, Ryan Balot, Shadi Bartsch, Eric Beerbohm, Susan
Bickford, Jonathan Bruno, Agnes Callard, Daniela Cammack, Federica
Carugati, Josh Cherniss, Chiara Cordelli, Prithvi Datta, Mark Fisher,
Jill Frank, Adom Getachew, Sean Gray, Kinch Hoekstra, Sean
Ingham, Seth Jaffe, Demetra Kasimis, Tae-Yeoun Keum, John
Lombardini, Melissa Lane, Harvey Mansfield, Patchen Markell, Liz
Markovits, John McCormick, Christopher Meckstroth, Yascha Mounk,
Joe Muller, Sankar Muthu, Eric Nelson, Michael Nitsch, Josh Ober,
Jennifer Pitts, Sabeel Rahman, Nancy Rosenblum, Arlene
Saxonhouse, Melissa Schwartzberg, Joel Schlosser, Matthew
Simonton, Lucas Stanczyk, Christina Tarnopolsky, Andrea Tivig, Don
Tontiplaphol, Richard Tuck, Lisa Wedeen, James Wilson, Carla
Yumatle, Bernardo Zacka, Linda Zerilli, and John Zumbrunnen. In
addition, audiences at Harvard, Stanford, Oxford, the University of
Chicago, and conferences around the country have listened to
various iterations of the arguments in the book, providing sharp
questions, helpful feedback, and encouragement.
My fellow political theorists and political scientists at the University
of Chicago—students and professors alike—as well as those studying
ancient ethics and politics in other departments, have provided an
ideal intellectual community to finish writing the book. Final edits to
the manuscript were completed while I was a Laurance S.
Rockefeller Visiting Faculty Fellow at the Princeton University Center
for Human Values. I thank Katie Dennis for her invaluable editorial
assistance and comments at this stage.
Two anonymous reviewers from the University of Chicago Press
provided in-depth comments on the entire manuscript, spurring me
to make a number of additions to the argument. Chuck Myers, Jenni
Fry, Holly Smith, and Alicia Sparrow expertly shepherded me through
the editorial process. I thank Pam Scholefield for creating the index.
Sections of chapters 2 and 3 are based on my article “The Idiōtēs
and the Tyrant: Two Faces of Unaccountability in Democratic
Athens,” published in Political Theory 42, no. 2 (2014): 139–66. An
earlier version of chapter 5 appeared as “Parrhesia and the Demos
Tyrannos: Frank Speech, Flattery and Accountability in Democratic
Athens” in History of Political Thought 33, no. 2 (2012): 185–208.
Figure 1, Frontispiece to Hobbes’ translation of Thucydides’ Eight
Books of the Peloponnesian Warre (1629), is printed with permission
of the Princeton University Library. Figure 2, “Demos personified and
crowned by the goddess Dēmokratia,” is printed with permission of
the American School of Classical Studies at Athens: Agora
Excavations.
My mother, Hollis Landauer, and my sisters, Melissa and Rachel,
have provided encouragement and support. I have told them to stop
asking me when the book is coming out—I am glad to be able to say
to them, “Now.” Emma Saunders-Hastings is my closest adviser and
partner in all things, and this book would not exist without her help.
It is my father Michael Landauer’s fault that I am a political scientist
(he gave me his copy of Laswell’s Politics: Who Gets What, When,
How when I was in high school), and I dedicate this book to his
memory.
 Introduction

I. Picturing Political Debate

In the frontispiece to Hobbes’ translation of Thucydides’ Eight
Bookes of the Peloponnesian Warre (1629), one can find,
underneath towering portraits of Pericles of Athens and Archidamus
of Sparta, two comparatively tiny depictions of political decision-
making in action (see figure 1). Both pictures highlight the role of
speech in the decision-making process. On the right, under the
caption hoi polloi, “the many,” we see a throng of citizens, gazing up
raptly at a single speaker.1 The scene is meant to illustrate the
workings of a democratic assembly. On the left, we have hoi aristoi,
the (self-styled) “best men,” conversing around a table. If hoi polloi
represent Athens, then this council of hoi aristoi must take place in
Sparta.
FIGURE 1. Frontispiece to Hobbes’ translation of Thucydides’ Eight Bookes of the
Peloponnesian Warre (1629)

The images are political caricatures, meant to provoke judgments

about the relative quality of political discourse depicted in each
scene. We can imagine the orator haranguing the crowd below,
whipping them into a frenzy with the force of his words,
manipulating and deceiving them. In contrast, we see the men at
the table debating calmly and rationally: witness the two in the
corner, consulting a book and each other, preparing to share their
findings with the rest of the group. We are meant to see the
superiority of decision-making and political discourse among the few
“best” over decision-making and discourse among the many.
Yet setting aside their ideological slant, we can also see that the
images depict a basic structural difference. The image of hoi polloi
depicts a single speaker set off from a crowd. In one sense, his
singularity is purely incidental; if we were to let the scene run its
course, we could readily imagine other speakers eagerly taking their
turn to persuade the audience. However, it is also an essential part
of the structure of this kind of decision-making that the speaker is
alone on the platform, facing an audience of nonspeakers. The
engraving illustrates the bifurcation of decision-making in the
assembly into two complementary roles: that of (a succession of)
persuasive speakers and an audience that listens, judges, and
decides. Communication flows primarily in one direction—from the
speaker’s platform down to the audience below.2 Nonetheless, the
audience is not passive, for they ultimately have the power to decide
on the issues put before them. At the end of the speeches, it is they
who vote on what is to be done. The orator can only attempt to
persuade and advise them.
In contrast, no single figure among hoi aristoi occupies the
position of the orator. If we were to unpause the action depicted in
this image, we would find ourselves in the midst of a lively debate.
Decision-making in Athens relied on a division of labor between
speaker and audience, but the roles at this table are much more
fluid. The picture of hoi polloi has two nodes, speaker and audience;
by contrast, the lines of communication at the table flow freely and
in multiple directions. Each man, we are meant to see, is
participating in the discussion, speaking and listening in turn.
If the role of speaker is distributed across the group of hoi aristoi,
what of the power to decide? There is a man at one end of the table
with a crown and scepter, but the accoutrements of royal power
should not mislead us—if the scene is meant to represent Sparta,
then the king is not the sole decision-maker.3 Rather, what we have
here is a depiction of the deliberations of a ruling council. If each
member of hoi aristoi speaks and listens, each also has a vote in the
decision. In this idealized image, hoi aristoi deliberate and decide
together as speakers-cum-decision-makers.
It is important to stress again that these images are tendentious,
simplified, and polemical. In ancient Greece, both democratic and
oligarchic discursive practices naturally departed from the models
suggested by the frontispiece in various ways (as I will discuss
further below). But the Hobbesian frontispiece accurately captures a
core insight driving the argument of this book: political discourse in
the ancient world was conditioned by institutions and regime type
and thus must be understood comparatively. In that spirit, the
presence of a regal figure among hoi aristoi also invites speculation.
After all, classical political thought, from Pindar and Herodotus to
Aristotle and beyond, recognized three basic regime types: rule by
the many, by the few—and by one.4 If these images are meant to
stand as illustrations, however tendentious, of the decision-making
process in two of the three classical regime types, what kind of
image would neatly capture decision-making in autocracies?
Perhaps the image of hoi aristoi could be pressed into double duty
and serve to illustrate the process of a king taking counsel from his
advisers. After all, there is already a little king in the image, to
shepherd us along to this point of view. Yet the resemblance
between a king in council and the idealized deliberations of hoi
aristoi is only superficial. Rather, in a number of fundamental
respects, the Greek understanding of autocratic decision-making
closely paralleled their understanding of democratic decision-making.
Both rule by the many and rule by one—democracy and autocracy—
evinced the same bifurcation of decision-making into complementary
roles: decision-maker (whether collective demos or individual ruler)
and adviser. Moreover, given the overwhelming power of the
decision-maker in both regimes—ordinary citizens voting together in
the assembly and popular courts in a democracy, monarch or tyrant
dictating in an autocracy—the relationships between decision-maker
and adviser in the two regime types shared a number of key
features. Throughout the period in which Athenian democracy
flourished (roughly 508 to 322 BCE), philosophers, historians,
dramatists, and rhetoricians, thinking through the problems of both
autocratic and democratic decision-making and investigating the
relationship between advisers and rulers in both regime types, found
each regime useful for thinking about the other.
My central argument can be summarized as follows. I identify the
sumboulos (adviser) as an important figure in Greek conceptions of
both democratic and autocratic politics. Athenian orators are best
understood—and understood themselves—as the accountable
sumbouloi of the Athenian demos. This identification casts them not
as codeliberators with their fellow citizens but rather as participating
in an activity—giving political advice—that had long been a matter
for theoretical reflection and found expression across political
contexts. The figure of the sumboulos is not restricted to
democracy; he appears in discussions and analyses of advice in
autocratic contexts from Herodotus’ depictions of the Persian court
down to Isocrates’ letters to Macedonian regents and Cypriot kings.
Oligarchic regimes, too, made use of sumbouloi, but in what
follows, I focus primarily on democracies and autocracies. The
distinctive role of sumbouloi in these regime types follows from the
structural similarity between the two, to which I already alluded
briefly above. The Athenian demos, gathered together in the
assembly and in the popular courts, was understood in the fifth and
fourth centuries to have competencies and powers akin to those of
an autocratic ruler. In particular, both the demos and the autocrat
were recognized as unaccountable rulers able to hold others—
including their advisers—to account.5 Given the way in which power
asymmetries structured the relationships between sumbouloi and
decision-makers in both democracies and autocracies, both
practicing orators and theoretically inclined observers—dramatists,
historians, philosophers—came to see that the problems and
opportunities associated with having (or choosing) to speak to the
powerful were comparable across regimes. The issues at stake in the
demos-adviser relationship could be compared fruitfully to those in
the autocrat-adviser relationship. Questions such as how the
powerful could recognize good advice and good advisers, how
advisers could help decision-makers see the limits of political action,
and the possibilities for and obstacles to frank speaking under
conditions of risk were not taken to be regime-specific. The ancient
Greek theory of political counsel was a strikingly portable one,
traveling across political boundaries in surprising and enlightening
ways. It stands to reason, then, that reading Greek reflections on
autocracy and democracy alongside one another can enrich our
understanding of accountability and advice in both types of regime.
Or so, at least, I hope to convince you.

II. Against “Democratic Exceptionalism”

One of the central aims of this book is to argue that democratic and
autocratic politics in ancient Greece shared structural features that
contemporary scholarship overlooks. In particular, in fifth- and
fourth-century Greek thought, decision-making and advice-giving in
autocracies and democracies were understood to be, in key respects,
closely related, and this has important implications for our
understanding of Athenian politics. Standing in the way of accepting
such a thesis are a number of views we could group under the
banner of democratic exceptionalism. Such views have in common a
conviction that there is something about democracy that makes
comparisons to autocracy inapt or misguided. I want to begin,
therefore, with a discussion of some prominent views that might
seem to preclude the thought that ancient Greeks recognized
important similarities between autocratic and democratic politics
(and, indeed, that these similarities really existed in any meaningful
way). I will not deal decisively with these views here—I develop my
response more fully in the chapters to come. I will, however, offer a
few preliminary reasons for thinking that they can be answered
convincingly. In the process, I introduce some of the main themes
and ideas to be explored in the coming chapters.

DELIBERATION AND ADVICE

Another Random Scribd Document
with Unrelated Content
 Kylläpä silloin opettajat juoksivat. He menivät sellaista kyytiä, että
oikein piti ihmetellä. Tietysti rehtori löytyi karsserista, mutta aivan
uupuneena, sillä hän ei ollut lauantaista asti syönyt.

Rehtori olisi tahtonut erottaa pojat, mutta hänet oli vallannut

kummallinen pelko. Hän ei uskaltanut tulla enää koulullekaan, vaan
päästyään sieltä pois kurkisteli kadun nurkan takaa koululle päin.
Toiset opettajat alkoivat myös pelätä ja jättivät koulun. Pojat eivät
tienneet, mitä heidän pitäisi tehdä. He tulivat kouluun joka aamu
säännölliseen aikaan, ja kun ei opettajia ollut, niin pitivät he itse
tuntia. Ja kyllä ne olivat meluisia tunteja, arvaahan sen.

Iltaisin opettajat uskalsivat tulla koululle neuvottelemaan, mihin

toimenpiteisiin oli ryhdyttävä. Päätettiin ottaa Kiljusen pojat kiinni ja
toimittaa heidät pois kaupungista. Tätä toimeenpanemaan pyydettiin
poliiseja.

Kaikki Helsingin poliisit olivat liikkeellä, ne saarsivat koulun.

Rohkeimmat tohtivat mennä ovesta sisään. He etsivät joka luokan ja
viimein löysivät pojat.

Kyllähän Mökö ja Luru ennestään olivat siihen tottuneet, että heitä

suurella kunnialla kohdeltiin poliisiviranomaisten puolelta; niin nytkin
he päät pystyssä astelivat suuren poliisilauman saattamina asemalle
päin, missä suljettu vaunu odotti heitä.

Pojat oli päätetty toimittaa Viipuriin.

VI

Heidän tultuaan Viipurin lyseoon ei sielläkään kukaan voinut

ymmärtää, miksi he olivat joutuneet Helsingistä pois, niin tavattoman
kiltin vaikutuksen he tekivät. He osasivat läksynsä aivan
erinomaisesti, vaikka omalla tavallaan, väittäen muun muassa
maantieteen tunnilla, että koko kaupunki oli alkujaan ollut iso rinkilä.
Tälle naurettiin, mutta siitä ei kukaan pahastunut, sillä onhan Viipuri
vieläkin kuuluisa rinkeleistään.

Toisilta pojilta he kuulivat, että maailmassa on sellaisia laivoja,

jotka kulkevat veden alla ja joita sen vuoksi sanotaan vedenalaisiksi
veneiksi. Eräänä päivänä kävellessään sillalla, joka vie linnan luona
olevan salmen yli, sattui Mökö näkemään veden alta pistävän kepin.

— Tuossa on sellaisen laivan masto, sanoi hän.

— Tietysti se on laivan masto, sanoi siihen Luru.

He palasivat kaupungille, tapasivat kadulla tuttuja koulupoikia ja

kertoivat niille, että olivat nähneet linnan sillan luona vedenalaisen
laivan. Huhu levisi hirveällä vauhdilla. Muutamat riensivät heti sinne,
toiset menivät kotiinsa ilmoittamaan, joista taas puhelimella
kerrottiin asiat tuttaville. Ei ollut kulunut tuntiakaan, kun koko
kaupunki tiesi, että linnan luona oli vedenalainen vene.

Ja kaikki riensivät tietysti sitä katsomaan. Mikä tungos ja mikä

ahdinko olikaan linnan lähellä! Ihmisiä oli niin paljon, että olivat
tippua veteen. Ja kaikki katsoivat tuohon seipääseen ja uskoivat
hekin, että se oli laivan maston huippu. Ja nyt odotettiin vain, että
laiva nousisi veden pinnalle.

Kun tästä viimein oli selvitty ja koulun rehtori saanut tietää, mistä
huhu oli saanut alkunsa, toimitti hän pojat junaan ja lähetti
Kuopioon.
 Täällä pojat olivat kolme päivää. Toisena päivänä he menivät
Puijon mäelle kävelemään. Tämä on korkea mäki kaupungin lähellä.
Oli syksy, ja eräs tummanruskeassa puvussa oleva muija oli sieniä
poimimassa metsässä.

Hui, kuinka pojat pelästyivät nähdessään hänet takaapäin!

— Se on karhu, sanoi Luru, varmasti se on karhu!

Tulista vauhtia he menivät kaupungille ja huusivat pitkin katuja

mennessään:

— Puijolla on karhu. Puijolla on karhu.

Aijai, mikä hätä syntyi kaupungissa! Muutamat panivat kiireesti

ovensa lukkoon ja tukkivat ikkunansa siinä pelossa, että karhu voisi
tulla heidän asuntoonsa. Mutta rohkeimmat läksivät karhua
tappamaan. Suuri armeija järjestettiin. Kun kaupungissa ei ollut
aseita, niin otti kukin mitä sattui löytämään, seipäitä ja hiilihankoja,
muutamilla oli aseina ainoastaan vanhoja kalosseja, joilla he uskoivat
voivansa lyödä karhun kuoliaaksi, niin urhoollisia he olivat.
Kaupungin pormestari kulki suuri lippu kädessään palokunnan
edessä kehoittaen sitä pontevuuteen. Poliisit, joilla oli aseita,
paljastivat miekkansa ja koettivat näyttää urhoollisilta.

Ja nyt tämä joukko lähti Puijon mäkeä kohden. Kun he olivat sen
huipulle päässeet, järjestäytyivät he rintamaan taistellakseen karhua
vastaan. Poliisit, jotka alussa olivat näyttäneet urhoollisilta,
pelkäsivät nyt aivan tavattomasti, vapisivat kuin haavan lehdet.

Pormestari oli kiivennyt mäellä olevaan näkötorniin ja

tarkasteltuaan kaukoputkella seutua näki tuon saman
ruskeapukuisen muijan ja erehtyi hänkin. Huusi tornista alas:

— Peto on tuolla! Hyökätkää sinnepäin!

Kaikki lykkivät edelleen poliiseja, jotka eivät mitenkään tahtoneet

uskaltaa lähteä karhua tappamaan. Kun heitä lykättiin, niin täytyihän
heidän mennä.

Kun he saapuivat muijan lähelle, niin silloin kaikki heittivät sitä

kohden aseitaan, keppejä, hiilihankoja, vanhoja kalosseja ynnä mitä
kullakin sattui olemaan.

Muija tietysti säikähtyi hirveästi ja hyppäsi pystyyn lähtien täyttä

voimaa juoksemaan pakoon.

Ja silloin nähtiin, ettei siellä ollutkaan mitään karhua, ainoastaan

vanha vaimo.

Seuraavana päivänä toimitettiin Kiljusen pojat pois kaupungista ja

lähetettiin Turkuun. Tänne oli levinnyt tieto Kiljusen poikien
vaarallisuudesta. Heti annettiin määräys, ettei kaupunkiin saa tulla
kukaan vieras ihminen. Kun siis Kiljusen pojat junalla tulivat sinne, ei
heitä päästettykään asemahuoneesta minnekään, vaan heti otettiin
uusi juna ja lähetettiin pojat Tampereelle, jonne oli mukavin heidät
toimittaa.

Ja tänne he viimein tulivat, joutuivat kouluun ja olivat niin siivosti,

ettei opettajilla ollut mitään heitä vastaan sanottavaa. He käyttivät
siellä alkuperäistä nimeään, joka oli Kiljander, eikä kukaan silloin
pannut mitään erikoista huomiota heihin, vaan jokainen piti heitä
aivan tavallisina poikina. Rehtori, joka oli ottanut heidät vastaan,
katseli kyllä toisinaan heihin pelokkain silmin, mutta rauhoittui, kun
sai kuulla, että pojat olivat olleet aivan siivosti siinä asunnossakin,
minkä hän heille oli toimittanut.

VII

Mutta isä ja äiti Kiljusen tuli poikiaan ikävä. He päättivät lähteä

Helsinkiin katsomaan, miten nämä voivat. Kun he tulivat lyseolle,
jonne pojat ensin oli viety, saivat he kuulla, että Mökö ja Luru oli
siirretty yhteiskouluun.

— Se onkin heille oikein sopiva koulu, sanoi äiti — sillä juuri

tyttöseuraa he tarvitsivat.

Yhteiskoulussa käskettiin heitä menemään toiseen lyseoon. Täällä

rehtori ilmoitti lähettäneensä pojat Viipuriin.

— Mitä te niitä niin lähettelette kuin paketteja? kysyi isä.

— Siellä on heille sopivampi koulu, vastasi rehtori.

— Vai niin, vastasi isä Kiljunen.

He nousivat junaan ja tulivat Viipuriin. Täällä oli levinnyt tieto

heidän tulostaan. Koko kaupunki oli liikkeellä, sillä tahtoihan jokainen
nähdä, millaisia he olivat. Koko aseman tori oli aivan mustanaan
kansaa, ja hurraahuudoin otettiin isä ja äiti Kiljunen vastaan.

— Missä ovat meidän poikamme? huusi isä Kiljunen

kokoontuneelle kansalle.

— Ne on viety Kuopioon, vastasi poliisi, joka piti järjestystä yllä.

— Mennään sitten Kuopioon, sanoi isä Kiljunen.

 He joutuivat laivaan ja läksivät Saimaan kanavan kautta
kulkemaan Kuopiota kohden. Matkalla ei heille tapahtunut mitään
merkillistä, ei mitään muuta kuin että eräässä kohdassa isä Kiljunen
tahtoi koettaa peränpitämistaitoaan, tarttui ruoteliin ja väänsi sen
niin pitkälle sivullepäin kuin suinkin mahdollista. Silloin jostain
tuntemattomasta syystä se ei enää liikkunutkaan. Kun oli täysi höyry
päällä, niin alkoi laiva mennä keskellä selkää ympäri, ei yhtään
eteenpäin, vaan aina vain ympäri. Täytyi pysäyttää kone, jotta voitiin
korjata ruoteli.

Tietysti Kuopion satamassa oli väkeä hirveästi Kiljusten sinne

tullessa. Kun ei poikia siellä ollut, niin menivät vanhemmat rautatielle
ja läksivät Turkuun, jossa uskoivat poikainsa olevan.

Kun tieto heidän tulostaan saapui Turkuun, niin koottiin sotalaivoja

satamaan ja kaikki kanuunat käännettiin kaupunkiin päin, sillä eihän
tiennyt, mitä tapahtuisi, kun tämä herrasväki aina sai aikaan
epäjärjestystä. Mutta eihän siellä mitään tapahtunut. Isä ja äiti
Kiljunen läksivät heti Tampereelle.

Sen koulun rehtori, jonne Kiljusen pojat olivat tulleet Kiljanderin

nimellä, oli lähtenyt matkalle. Kun siis isä ja äiti Kiljunen etsivät
poikiaan, ei kukaan voinut sanoa, missä he olivat. Kaupungin
valtuusto ei keksinyt mitään muuta keinoa tässä hädässä, kuin että
kaikki Tampereen koulujen lapset pantiin riviin molemmin puolin
katua asemalta alkaen, kosken yli vievän sillan poikki, pitkin
Hämeenkatua aina Pyynikille asti.

Ja sitten isä ja äiti Kiljunen läksivät etsimään poikiaan. Tietysti

kaikki liikenne oli kadulla seisautettu, liikkeet olivat suljetut, ihmisiä
oli joka paikassa katsomassa ja ihmettelemässä. Se oli oikea
juhlapäivä Tampereella.
 — Täällä on hyvä järjestys, muuta ei voi sanoa, lausui isä Kiljunen
äidille seisoessaan aseman portailla ja katsellessaan tätä hirveän
pitkää lapsijonoa, joka ulottui pitkin katua niin pitkälle, kuin suinkin
näki.

Tehtaiden pillit puhalsivat merkiksi, että kaikki oli kunnossa, ja

silloin isä sanoi äidille:

— Nyt travaamaan eteenpäin, mamma! Mene sinä toista puolta

katua, minä toista!

He läksivät juoksemaan kumpikin omaa puoltaan etsien poikiaan.

Kyllä he saivat juosta, sillä lyseon oppilaat olivat joutuneet aivan
Pyynikin lähelle asti.

Täällä Mökö ja Luru näkivät isänsä ja äitinsä juoksevan ja

huusivat:

— Hurraa, minne te nyt kippaatte sellaista kyytiä?

Ja sitten he kaikki huusivat ilosta.

Mutta isä ja äiti Kiljunen ottivat lapsensa pois koulusta ja veivät

kotiinsa, josta he sitten uudelleen veivät heidät Helsinkiin ja saivat
heidät sijoitetuksi erääseen kouluun, jossa oli niin pahankurisia
lapsia, ettei siellä huomattu laisinkaan erotusta Kiljusen poikien ja
muiden välillä. Ja kun ei kukaan välittänyt heistä, niin eivät he enää
sen jälkeen saaneet koulussa mitään merkillistä aikaan.

Kiljusen poikien jouluaatto

 Kiljusen molemmat pojat, Mökö ja Luru, olivat joululomaksi tulleet
kotiin kaupungista, jossa he kävivät koulua. Pulla, tuo heidän pyöreä
ja paksu villakoiransa, oli ollut aivan hurjana ilosta nähdessään taas
molemmat pojat.

Mökö ja Luru tuumivat kovasti, mitä he antaisivat äidilleen

joululahjaksi, sillä jotain aivan erikoista he tahtoivat antaa. Kauan
tuumailtuaan päätti Mökö antaa elävän kissan ja Luru pienen koiran.
Kissa saisi pyydellä hiiriä ja koira olla äidin seurana, kun Pulla
vietäisiin poikien mukaan. Kylästä he olivat ostaneet nämä
molemmat elukat, ja jouluaattona siinä hämärän tultua meni
kumpikin lahjaansa noutamaan.

Kiljusen kotona oli kaikki rauhallista, sillä eihän kukaan edeltäpäin

tiennyt, mikä merkillinen jouluaatto oli tulossa, niin merkillinen, että
kaikki Kiljusen seikkailut Helsingissä eivät olleet mitään sen rinnalla.

Mökö meni korilla noutamaan kissaa, ja toisella hiukan

suuremmalla korilla meni Luru koiraa noutamaan, ja samaan aikaan
he kumpikin palasivat matkaltaan. Yhdessä he sitten astuivat saliin,
jossa pöytä oli katettu jouluateriaa varten. Koko talon väki oli koolla,
oli vain poikia odotettu.

— Tässä on äidille joululahja, sanoi Mökö ja avasi korin, jossa

kissa oli.

Kissa hyppäsi lattialle, ja Kiljusen rouva parkaisi pahasti. Ei hän

kissaa pelännyt, mutta kun se tuli niin äkkiä, niin hän ei voinut olla
huutamatta. Ja kun Kiljusen rouva huusi, niin kyllä se kuului.

— Tässä on toinen lahja, sanoi Luru ja päästi koiran korista.

 Koira näki kissan ja kissa näki koiran, ja kun ne kaksi eivät
koskaan ole olleet hyvässä sovussa, niin mitä ne nytkään olisivat
sopineet. Kissa hyppäsi pöydälle ja koira hyppäsi haukkuen jäljessä.
Ja kun pöydällä oli paljon tavaraa, niin mitä ne sitä olisivat joutaneet
varomaan. Kissa astui ensin keskelle voiastiaa, koira kaatoi
maitokannun. Sitten hyppäsi kissa suureen liemimaljaan, josta se
aivan märkänä loikkasi pois. Koira kaatui puurovatiin ja pääsi vihdoin
pöydälle, vaikka aivan valkoisena riisiryynipuurosta. Ja koira haukkui
ja kissa sähisi ja koko Kiljusen perhe huusi. Oli siinä taas elämää
yhdeksi kertaa!

Isä Kiljunen meni ajamaan näitä eläimiä pöydältä pois ja siinä

ajaessaan kaatoi kaiken sen mitä kissa ja koira eivät vielä olleet
ennättäneet kaataa. Kissa hyppäsi pakoon ja suoraan isä Kiljusen
pään päälle, mikä ei suinkaan tuntunut hauskalta, kun se painoi
kyntensä päähän kiinni. Äiti Kiljunen oli ottanut hiilihangon ja koetti
sillä lyödä koiraa, mutta ei osannutkaan koiraan, vaan sen sijaan
kaikkiin muihin. Hän löi isä Kiljusta vatsaan, Mököä päähän, Lurua
selkään ja itseään hyvin moneen paikkaan. Kissa hyppäsi nyt
permannolle ja kiipesi suuren vaatekaapin päälle. Pojat koettivat ajaa
sitä sieltä pois ja kaatoivat kaapin, jolloin kaikki, mitä sen päällä ja
sisällä oli, vieri pitkin permantoa. Tällä ajalla löi äiti Kiljunen
kattolampun säpäleiksi, jolloin huoneessa tuli aivan pimeä. Pimeässä
meni kissa äiti Kiljusen hameitten alle piiloon, josta tämä niin
pelästyi, että kiljaisten kaatui kumoon. Koira juoksi permannolla
poikia pakoon. Mökö ja Luru kompastuivat äitiinsä ja isä Kiljunen
heihin. Ja siinä nyt koko herrasväki makasi yhdessä kasassa.

Silloin avautui ovi ja kissa ja koira pääsivät pakenemaan. Oli siinä

huoneessa oikea joulujärjestys, kun taas valoa tuotiin, huonekalut
kumossa, kaikki astiat pöydältä maahan vedettynä ja säpäleinä.
 Tällä aikaa pakenivat kissa ja koira keittiöön. Siellä oli Pulla, joka
tietysti nosti heti aika mellakan. Kissa pakeni avoimeen uuniin ja
joutui paistinpannuun, ja kun palvelijatar samassa pani uunin kiinni,
niin sinne se kissa jäikin. Pulla pakeni sitä uutta koiraa pöydälle, ja
kun pöydällä oli taikina suurta kaakkua varten, niin kompastui se
siihen, ja kun se siinä pyöriskeli, niin tarttui se yhä enemmän
taikinaan ja lopulta se jäi aivan sen sisään. Palvelijatar ei siinä
hädässä mitään huomannut, vaan otti käärön ja pisti sen uuniin
paistumaan.

Nyt talossa oli äkkiä aivan hiljaista. Kaikki ihmettelivät minne se

uusi kissa ja Pulla olivat kadonneet, mutta niitä ei löydetty mistään.

Kun se uusi koira oli pesty puurosta puhtaaksi ja pöytä uudelleen

katettu, niin alkoi Kiljusen herrasväki syödä päivällistään.

Kun paisti tuotiin sisään, niin huomattiinkin, minne se uusi kissa oli
joutunut: se oli kokonaan paistunut paistinpannussa. Ja kun suuri
joulukakku kannettiin pöytään, niin löytyi Pulla sen sisältä. Se oli
aivan pyörryksissä, mutta virkosi jälleen henkiin, josta poikien ilo oli
hyvin suuri.

— Pullasta oli vähällä tulla oikea pulla, sanoivat pojat.

Ja siinä he olivatkin aivan oikeassa.

Tällainen oli Kiljusten jouluaatto.

 *** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK KILJUSEN
HERRASVÄEN UUDET SEIKKAILUT ***

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