Writing an Introduction

First sentences of an essay or a research paper are especially important because they
create the first impression about the topic, the focus of a paper, and the level of author’s
writing skills. The beginning of the essay must catch the readers’ attention and make
them want to continue reading. An effective introduction should gain the reader’s
attention, build an interest in reading the rest of the paper, provide background
information on the topic, and define the main point of the paper. Starting an essay with
an introduction can be challenging because there might not be a clear direction of the
focus of the paper. To remedy this situation, it is useful to utilize an outline that provides
structure to the whole paper and helps in determining the focus of the introduction. The
clarity of an introduction is essential in order for the readers to know exactly what the
goal of the paper is. Because all supporting details and the conclusion will refer to the
introduction, clearly defined focus helps to make the whole essay clear.

Contrary to the common belief that essays are written in the order of introduction, body
paragraphs, and conclusion, writers may find it easier to write the body paragraphs
based on the outline, and then they write the introduction as the last part of the process.
In this approach, writers focus on the development of ideas in the body paragraphs, and
then utilize the ideas written in the body paragraphs to determine the focus of the
introduction.

In an academic essay, introductory paragraph consists of three essential parts: hook,

thesis statement, and the transition between these two parts. Some types of essays may
also include a plan of development in which the writer suggests or actually reveals the
structure of the essay and supporting arguments. Some of the most effective hooks,
also referred to as lead-ins, are a general statement, anecdote, analogy, contrast,
quotation, and a factual statement.

General statement is a strategy that helps to ease a reader into the thesis statement by
introducing the topic in general.
Sample general statement: Throughout the human history, diseases have often
spread much faster than expected mostly due to inefficient access to health care. One of
the most common problems that Bay Area families are facing is insufficient access to
affordable health care.
 
Anecdote is a short narrative that can be drawn from current events, history or a
personal experience. It is a very effective attention getter because most people like
reading stories and an anecdote in the introduction is often the only story that can
appear in formal analytical paper.
Sample anecdote: “School stressed me out so much that I got glandular fever,
which led to chronic fatigue syndrome, and I had to take six or seven months off. That
was year nine, the pivotal time when children make their friends. Socially, I never
recovered.” (Tiffany Hall)

Analogy is a comparison in which an idea is compared to another idea that is parallel or

similar to it. It aims at explaining that idea by comparing it to something that is familiar.
Thus a new idea is introduced through a comparison to something that a reader knows
or has heard about before. This makes it easier for him or her to grasp the new concept
presented in an essay. Analogy can be made as a reference to a story or a situation, or
it can utilize tools such as metaphors and similes.
Sample   analogy:   Clutter   is   the   disease   of   American   writing.   We   are   a   society  
strangling   in   unnecessary   words,   circular   constructions,   pompous   frills   and  
meaningless  jargon.  (William  Zinsser:  Simplicity)  

 
Contrast is an effective introduction strategy because it gets the reader’s attention by
presenting an attention getter idea that is in contrast with the idea stated in the thesis.
Writers have to use this method with caution in order to make sure that the contrasting
ideas represent the same topic, and while they are opposite, they are related.
Sample   contrast:   The   United   States   is   a   land   of   opportunities   where   everyone  
can   achieve   their   dreams.   Hard   work,   determination,   and   dedication   lead   to   success   in  
professional  life  and  satisfaction  in  personal  life.  What  seems  like  a  recipe  for  ideal  life,  
does  not  apply  to  the  lives  of  many  citizens  who  struggle  to  keep  employment  and  to  
provide  for  their  families.  Living  in  poverty,  they  often  wonder  about  the  opportunities  
for  success  that  they  have  never  found.  
  
Quotation is an effective method of introduction when it represents the words of a
recognized authority, historical figure, or a literary source.
Sample  quotation:  As  Confucius  wisely  states,  “our  greatest  glory  is  not  in  never  
falling,   but   in   rising   every   time   we   fall.”   These   words   of   wisdom   remind   me   that   giving  
up  on  working  towards  my  dream  is  not  an  option.    
 
Factual statement as a method of introduction can be used to present brief and startling
facts or statistics that can be utilized as an effective way to engage readers.
Sample   factual   statement:   While   implementation   of   the   Affordable   Care   Act  
helped   lower   the   uninsured   rate,   “3.8   million   Californians   under   65   still   remain  
without  coverage”  (“California’s  Uninsured”).    This  issue  highlights  the  fact  that  more  
work  still  needs  to  be  done  in  order  to  provide  equal  access  to  quality  health  care  for  
all  citizens.  

While some of the methods of introduction are highly effective, there are some that
students should avoid. Clichés such as “In this day and age…”, apologies such as “I
don’t know much about this topic, but I think that…”, announcements such as “In this
essay, I am going to explain…”, and dictionary definitions such as ““Merriam-Webster
defines environment as the conditions that surround someone or something” should not
be used in academic essays.

Effective method of introduction is an essential indicator of an essay quality. Thus, it is

crucial that it is free of grammar, punctuation, and word choice errors. Only when the
first impression that the introduction provides is positive will the readers feel enthusiastic
about proceeding with reading the whole essay or a research paper.

Creating a Thesis Statement

The thesis statement is an essential part of an essay because it carries the message
about the focus of the essay. The thesis statement has two parts: topic and the main
idea. The topic answers the question-What is the essay about?
The main idea, also called the controlling idea, answers one of the questions-
a) What is the writer’s opinion about the topic?- used when writing an argument
essay
b) What is the focus of the essay?- used with different rhetorical styles that do
not incorporate author’s personal opinion

In order to understand the importance of thesis statement and its connection to the topic
and the main idea, two different statements can be analyzed.
• Thesis Statement A: Legalization of recreational use of marijuana in the state of
California will have long-term negative impact on children and young people
living in California.
• Thesis Statement B: Legalization of recreational use of marijuana in the state of
California will bring benefits to different groups of people.

Both of these examples have the same topic- legalization of recreational use of
marijuana in the state of California. However, they present different controlling ideas-
one that supports, and one that opposes the legalization of marijuana. Thus, in a
college composition class, all students responding to one prompt would have the
same topic, but different controlling ideas in their essays. The sentences that
determine the main idea of each individual essay represent the thesis statement.

Because all ideas explained in the essay must be logically related to the thesis
statement, the thesis controls and directs choices about the content of the essay.
However, if a writer realizes that there are other additional ideas, which can be
efficiently developed in the body paragraphs, he or she can modify the thesis to
accommodate the new idea or a concept. Because this modification is rather
common in the drafting process, thesis created right after the prewriting process can
also be called a working thesis. This name reflects the concept that a thesis is not
fixed, and it can be slightly adjusted in the drafting process.

Guidelines for Writing a Good Thesis Statement

Thesis statement:
• Is an assertion, or a claim about a debatable issue that can be supported with
evidence.
 • Is clearly stated in specific terms.
• States the writer’s opinion on a certain subject.
• Defines a focus of an essay not based on an opinion.
• Carries the main idea of the essay and is located at the end of the introduction.

There are several common mistakes that students should avoid when writing a thesis
statement.
• Expressing the main idea in the form of a question.
Ineffective   Thesis:   Why   should   every   immigrant   in   the   United   States   take  
English  classes?
Effective  Thesis:   Immigrants   in   the   Unites   States   should   take   English   classes  
in  order  to  increase  their  chance  of  success  in  the  new  country.  
 
• Making an announcement of the subject matter and writing phrases such as “in
my opinion”, “ I believe”, and “ in this essay I will present”.
Ineffective   Thesis:   In   this   essay,   I   will   write   about   how   propaganda   in  
advertising  is  negative.
Effective   Thesis:   Propaganda   techniques   in   today’s   advertising   lead   to  
negative  influence  of  people’s  opinions.    

• Stating too narrow or oversimplified claims.

Ineffective  Thesis:  Men  and  women  are  different.
Effective  Thesis:  Different  modes  of  communication  between  men  and  women  
provide  diverse  conversation  outcomes.    
 
• Merely stating a fact.
Ineffective  Thesis:  The  speed  limit  near  my  house  is  fifty-­‐five  miles  per  hour.
Effective  Thesis:  The   speed   limit   in   my   neighborhood   should   be   lowered     to  
thirty-­‐five  miles  per  hour  for  several  reasons.  
 
In some cases, the thesis statement can be followed by a plan of development, also
referred to as “an essay map”. It is a brief statement in the introductory paragraph that
introduces the major points discussed in the essay. The plan of development often
follows the thesis, but it can also be written before the thesis, or it can be incorporated
into the thesis statement itself.

While the plan of development has many benefits, such as following essay guidelines
and focusing on the topic without wandering off, one factor that has to be considered
when writing a plan of development is making sure that plan of development is not
mechanical and repetitive. It needs to blend into the introductory paragraph as smoothly
as possible.

Sample thesis statements with embedded plan of development:

Ineffective Thesis: The Writing and Reading Center at De Anza College is a

helpful place for three reasons. The reasons are its good tutors, a lot of learning
materials, and free services.

Effective Thesis: Well-trained tutors, quality learning resources, and free services
make De Anza Reading and Writing Center popular and valuable.