Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

" - Nathaniel Branden

THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM

NATHANIEL BRANDEN

Self-esteem is the willingness to consider oneself competent in the face of

the basic challenges of life and feeling deserving of happiness.
Having high self-esteem is feeling confidently capable of the
life, that is to say, competent and worthy; to have low self-esteem
feeling inappropriate for life is the confidence in our
ability to learn, to make decisions and to make choices
suitable, and to face the change.

Self-esteem has two interrelated components:

1.-THE SENSE OF CONFIDENCE IN FACE OF CHALLENGES OF

LIFE:
PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS.
2.- THE FEELING OF CONSIDERING ONESELF DESERVING OF
HAPPINESS:
SELF-RESPECT.

Personal effectiveness
It means trust in the functioning of my mind, in my
ability to think and understand, to learn to choose and
making decisions: trust in my ability to understand the
facts of reality that fall within the scope of my interests
and needs; in believing and trusting in myself.

SELF-RESPECT
It means reaffirming my personal worth; it is an attitude
positive towards the right to live and to be happy; feeling myself to
I enjoy my thoughts, my desires, my needs; the

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.

the feeling that joy and satisfaction are rights

natural innate.

SELF-ESTEEM MANIFESTS IN US AND IN THE

IN ADDITION TO BEING SIMPLE AND STRAIGHTFORWARD, THE FOLLOWING

ELEMENTS SHOW US:

. Self-esteem is projected in the pleasure one

has to be alive through a face, a gesture,
in the way of speaking and moving.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in the
calmness with which achievements or
defects in a direct and honest way, for one is in
friendly relationship with the facts.

. Self-esteem is expressed in the taste that the

the person experiments with giving and receiving compliments in the

expressions of affection and appreciation.

. Self-esteem is expressed in being open to the

criticism and relief in recognizing the mistakes, because the
Self-esteem is not linked to the image of being perfect.
. Self-esteem expresses itself when the
words and the movements of a person are
are characterized by tranquility and spontaneity, which
they reflect the fact that the person is not at war
with myself.
. Self-esteem is expressed in itself in the
harmony existing between what one says and does and in the
way of showing oneself, expressing oneself, and moving.

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden

. Self-esteem is expressed in itself through attitude.

to show curiosity and to be open to new
ideas, to new experiences, to new
possibilities of life.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in the fact
about feelings of anxiety or insecurity, yes
They appear, probably they will be less inclined to the
intimidation or overwhelm, as accepting them, managing them and

rising above rarely turns out to be excessive

difficult.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in the
ability to enjoy the joyful aspects of the
life, of oneself, of others.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in the
personal flexibility in responding to situations and
challenges, as one relies on oneself and does not see the
life as a curse or failure.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in the
self-wellbeing by showing a firm behavior
with myself and with others.
. Self-esteem expresses itself in a
ability to preserve the quality of balance and of the
dignity in stressful situations.
. Physically in the person with self-esteem
we can observe some eyes that are alert,
brilliant and full of life, a face that is relaxed and
tends to exhibit a natural color and a good smoothness in
the skin, a relaxed jaw, relaxed shoulders and

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

straight, relaxed and loose hands, the arms hang

easily and naturally, a stance lacking in
tension, straight and balanced; the step tends to be
decided, without being aggressive and overloaded.

SELF-ESTEEM IS, THEREFORE, THE REASONING THAT

I AM SUITABLE FOR LIFE, I AM COMPETENT AND I HAVE
VALUE; IT IS TO BE AWARE AND CONFIDENT IN MYSELF.

FALSE SELF-ESTEEM
Sometimes we see people who enjoy success
mundane, are widely valued, or have a
public security experience and yet they are
deeply dissatisfied, anxious or depressed. They can
project the appearance of being efficient and respected, but
There is really nothing of that.
False self-esteem is the illusion of having effectiveness and
dignity outside of reality is a protection to diminish
anxiety and providing us with a false sense of security
to alleviate our needs for an authentic
self-esteem.

THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM

1.- THE PRACTICE OF LIVING CONSCIOUSLY.

Living consciously means trying to be aware of
everything related to our actions, purposes,
values and goals, to the maximum of our capabilities, be

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

what they are and behave according to what we see and

we know. Living consciously means more than the
my seeing and knowing; means acting on what we see and
we know. Living consciously is living being
responsible towards reality, it is not necessary for us to have it
we like what we see, but we recognize that what exists,
it exists, and what does not exist, does not exist. Desires or fears, or

Negations do not modify the facts.

If we do not bring an adequate level of awareness to our
activities, if we do not live consciously the price
inevitable is a diminished sense of personal effectiveness and
self-respect. Our mind is our instrument
survival basics, if it is betrayed, it is resented.
self-esteem. The simplest form of this betrayal is evasion
of the events that cause us bewilderment, doubt, indecision,
for example:

I know that I am not working as hard as I can, but I do not

I want to think about it.
I know that my eating habits are ruining my health, but....
I know my children suffer for receiving so little from me, and I know that
they caused harm and resentment, but someday, from some
mode, I will change.....
I know my files are not well organized, but for the
what they pay me, and for what I receive in incentives......

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

I know that someday I have to start organizing my files,

but with the fact that they don't give me material, boxes, shelves,

I can write it like this.....

I know that my file is getting worse and worse problems, but I
What we have done has worked in the past, right?, for everyone.
In any case, this issue does not disturb me, nor does it take away my hunger,

my boss is the one responsible, and perhaps the situation will be resolved by

herself, in some way, or they come to change me...

2.- THE PRACTICE OF SELF-ACCEPTANCE

SELF-ESTEEM IS IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT SELF-ACCEPTANCE

SAME. THIS CONCEPT HAS THREE LEVELS OF
SIGNIFICANCE:
A) Accepting oneself is being on my side, -it is being for
myself - it is a kind of natural selfishness that is a
innate right of every human being oriented towards valuation and
to the commitment with oneself. Some people reject themselves.
themselves on such a deep level that they will not be able to begin

no growth work until addressing this problem. The

self-acceptance is my refusal to be in a
confrontation relationship with myself. It's not to fight with myself.

with myself.

B) Accepting oneself is the willingness to experience

fully my thoughts, feelings, emotions my
actions, my dreams, not as something distant, or something different from

me, but as part of my essence, since I allow to be

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden

express and I do not repress them. To live in all its intensity what
I am feeling, thinking, doing. If I think about ideas that
They disturb me, I am thinking about them; or a desire
inadequate, I am feeling it, what is true, is true, no
I rationalize it, deny it, or try to dismiss it by means of
explanations. I am feeling what I am feeling and I accept it
the reality of my experience. Thus, if I face a
the mistake I made, by accepting that it is my mistake I am free to
learn from it and do better in the future. If I
I refuse to accept that I often live, in an unconscious way,
irresponsibly, passively, how am I going to learn to
live consciously, more responsibly, and in a way
more active.

C) Self-acceptance involves the idea of compassion,

to be a friend of myself. Let's suppose that I have done something

what I regret, or that of which I am ashamed and for which I

reproach, self-acceptance, does not deny reality, no
it claims that what is wrong is actually right, but rather that
investigate the context in which an action took place. Wants
understand why. Wants to know why something that is
bad or inadequate was considered desirable or suitable or
even necessary at the time.

3.- THE PRACTICE OF SELF-RESPONSIBILITY.

To feel competent to live and worthy of happiness,

I need to experience a sense of control over my life.

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden

This requires being willing to take responsibility for my

actions and the achievement of my goals. This means that I take on the
responsibility for my life and well-being. The responsibility of
oneself is essential for self-esteem, and it is also a
reflection or manifestation of it. The practice of the
taking responsibility for oneself implies the acceptance of what

next

• I am responsible for achieving my desires.

• I am responsible for my choices and actions
• I am responsible for the level of awareness that I dedicate to
my work
• I am responsible for my behavior with other people.
work colleagues, partners, clients, spouse, children
friends.
• I am responsible for how I prioritize my time
• I am responsible for the quality of my work
• I am responsible for my personal happiness
• I am responsible for accepting or choosing the values according to

which I live.

WHAT EACH OF THESE ASPECTS IMPLIES FROM THE

THE POINT OF VIEW OF BEHAVIOR IS DEVELOPMENT AND
THE IMPLEMENTATION OF AN ACTION PLAN, I AM THE ONE WHO HAS
LET'S FIND OUT HOW I'M GOING TO DO IT.

4.- THE PRACTICE OF SELF-AFFIRMATION

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

Self-assertion means respecting my desires, needs, and

values and find their appropriate form of expression in the
reality.

Its opposite is surrender to the shyness consisting of

confine myself to a perpetual background in
that everything I am remains hidden or frustrated for
avoid confrontation with someone whose values are
different from mine, or to please, appease or manipulate
to someone, or simply to maintain a good relationship with
someone.

Self-assertion does not mean belligerence or aggression

inadequate; it does not mean to make a way to be the first or
Stepping on others does not mean asserting my own rights.
being blind or indifferent to the rest of everyone else. It means
simply the willingness to rely on myself, to be
who I am openly, to treat me with respect in all
human relationships. It equates to a refusal to falsify my
a persona to please others.
Exercising self-assertion is living authentically, speaking and
acting from my deepest convictions and feelings, is
a way of life, a rule (admitting that at times
there may be particular circumstances in which it is
justified that I decide not to do it, for example, when I
I confront a robber. Sometimes self-assertion is
manifests voluntarily presenting an idea or making
a compliment; sometimes through a suitable silence that gives to

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

understanding our disagreement: sometimes refusing to smile

before a silly joke.

5.- THE PRACTICE OF LIVING WITH PURPOSE

Living with purpose is to use our abilities for the

achievement of the goals we have chosen: the goal of
to study, to create a family, to organize our files,
to make a living, to start a new business, to do
exercise, to dedicate more time to our children, partner,
friends, parents. It is our goals that drive us, the
that require us to apply our faculties, those that invigorate
our life.

Living with purpose is living productively; it is a requirement.

of our ability to face life. Productivity
it is the act of conserving life by embodying our
ideas in reality, setting our goals and taking action to
to achieve them, the act of giving life to knowledge, goods
and services.
As a way of acting in the world, the practice of living with
purpose involves the following basic issues:
• Take responsibility for setting goals and
purposes consciously.
• To be interested in identifying the necessary actions to
achieving our goals
• Control the behavior to verify that it matches with
our goals.

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire with ourselves.

• Pay attention to the outcome of our actions, in order to

find out if they lead to where we want to go.

Living without purpose is living at the mercy of chance.

chance event, of the chance phone call, of the
casual encounter, because we do not have a standard by which to
who judges what is worth doing and what is not worth doing. The
external forces drive us, like a cork that floats in
the water, without an initiative from us that sets a specific course.
Our approach to life is reactive instead of
proactive. We are adrift.

6.- THE PRACTICE OF PERSONAL INTEGRITY

Integrity consists of the integration of ideals,

convictions, norms, beliefs, on one hand, and behavior
on the other hand. When our behavior is consistent with our
declared values, when ideals and the
In practice, we have integrity.

Integrity means consistency, concordance between the

words and behavior. Several studies reveal
that in organizations there are many people who do not
They trust their superiors. Why? Due to a lack of consistency.
For beautiful declarations of intentions that are not fulfilled
in practice. By the doctrine of respect for the individual who does not
it is actually applied. By the slogans for the service to
client in the walls that do not correspond with reality

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

from everyday work. For the sermons on honesty

betrayed by the traps. By the promises of
equity betrayed by favoritism. However, in the
In most organizations, there are men and women.
who others trust. Why? because they maintain their
word, because they fulfill their commitments, because I do not
they limit themselves to promising that they defend their people, but they don't

They do. Because they do not preach equity but practice it.
Why don't they just advise honesty and integrity but instead
that they live.

Self-esteem is a need that we require to

function effectively, if we lack it not necessarily
we will die, but if we lack it in large doses it will be harmful
our ability to function. Self-esteem provides
an essential contribution to the vital process and is
indispensable for normal and healthy development.

A poorly adequate self-esteem can be revealed.

. A bad choice of partner

. A marriage that only presents frustrations
. In a profession that leads you nowhere
. In a poor organization of your work
. In the inability to enjoy success
. In eating and living destructively
. In goals, dreams that never come true

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 Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire from ourselves.

. In chronic anxiety or depression

. Low resistance to diseases
. Low performance at work
. In an insatiable hunger for love and to obtain the
approval of others.

It is our responsibility to have a high or low

self-esteem; let's review what results we have had so far
now in the different aspects of our life, this us
will serve as a parameter to correct us and drive us in the
search for happiness.

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