霸_1$關麵

A Guide for Helping Muslim Families

■m

FAITH

'oumtiiion for Appropriate ami

Immediate Temporary I IcJp
"This Manual represents a great effort and cooperation of people hai0g^
really dedicated themselves to helping others. I consider it on| of the l
serious attempts to address domestic violence from an Islamic ^j
tive. I believe it will be a great resource for social service workers; law :
enforcement and others. I want to thank the three sisters, Zaindb Alwani,
Salma Abugideiri and Ambreen Ahmed. May Allah reward th$ir efforts and C:
help them be a resource in the Muslim Social Services field广
a
Mohammad
ADAMSlenterD^»
Member of Executive Council of ISNA (Islamic Society of Northern Virginia)；
Member of Faith Communities in Action
Muslim Chaplin to George Mason University
Fairfax Youtfc Partnership

"An excellent and timely treatment of an issue swept aside for too long 嘱
the American Muslim community. It is religiously and culturally sensitive :
while maintaining a contemporary and professional viewpoint for all par-'
ties interested in healthy family dynamics."

Imam Johari Abdul-Malik

Dar-AI-Hijrah Outreach Director .、
Muslim Chaplin to Howard University

"This is an informative resource that will greatly enhance our work with
Muslim victims of domestic violence. It helps non-Muslim advocates and
counselors understand how Islam promotes healthy family relationships
without the use of violence. Working from this perspective, we can help
empower victims and alleviate the shame and guilt that at times over­
whelms them广

Rebecca Hernandez-Hamilton, LPC, LMFT

Domestic Violence Specialist
Center for Multicultural Human Services
 What Islam says
about
Domestic Violence
A GUIDE FOR HELPING
MUSLIM FAMILIES
 What Islam says
about
Domestic Violence
A GUIDE FOR HELPING
MUSLIM FAMILIES

Zainab Alwani, MS
&
Salma Abugideiri, MEd, LPC
 © Copyright 1424AH/2003AC

FAITH
Foundation for Appropriate and
Immediate Temporary Help

All rights reserved.

No part of this book maybe reproduced or transmitted in any
form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy,
or recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without
permission in writing from the publisher.

Copies of
What Islam says about Domestic Violence
一 A Guide for helping Muslim Families
are available from the publisher:
Foundation for Appropriate and Immediate Temporary Help
500 Grove Street, Suite 210, Herndon, VA 20172
Phone: (571) 323-2198
E-mail: [email protected]
Website: www.faithus.org
 Table of Contents
Acknowledgments

Introduction 9

Overview of Islamic Paradigm 12

Core Values 14

Dealing with oppression 16

Concept of Marriage 18

Family Structure 19

Gender Roles 20

Decision-Making in the Family 21

Parent-Child Relationship 24

Domestic Violence 26

Resolving Conflict 28

Divorce: A Peaceful Solution 33

Child Custody 36

Tools for the Worker ........................................................... 37

Power & Control Wheel: Islamic Perspective .... 37
Concept of Accountability ............ 44
Useful Interventions with Muslims 46

Appendix 1: Compilation of verses used in this paper 53

Appendix 2: Power & Control Wheel ....................... 61

Additional Readings & Useful Websites ................... 62

 Acknowledgments
r ■ 'he writing of this guide was made possible by the
_ collaborative efforts of FAITH (Foundation for
Appropriate and Immediate Temporary Help, Herndon,
VA), CMHS (Center for Multicultural Human Services, Falls Church,
VA), and HIT (International Institute of Islamic Thought). It was funded
in part by the Department of Criminal Justice V-Stop grant to CMHS,
FAITH and by IIIT. The project was initiated and coordinated by
Ambreen Ahmed, Director of the Safe and Peaceful Families program
at FAITH.
The authors wish to acknowledge the feedback and suggestions of
Dr Jamal Barzinji, Imam Mohamed Magid, Dr. Taha Jabir Alalwani,
Imam Johari Abdul-Malik, Dr. Mohamad A. El Sheikh, Imam Faizul R.
Khan, and Imam Nahiddian.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 9

Introduction
his guide is written for anyone working in the area of

T domestic violence: advocates, police officers, mental health

workers, shelter staff, medical providers, lawyers, etc. It is
intended to be used as a training supplement for those who work in this
field, with specific reference to the Power and Control Wheel.1 It was
written as a result of many questions and concerns presented by workers
who deal with Muslim women and families. Because the religion of
Islam and the culture of the Middle East are relatively unfamiliar to most
workers in this country, dealing with the Muslim population is often
challenging and confusing.
This guide is an attempt to explain the perspective of the religion of
Islam on the issue of domestic violence. Islam is a religion followed by
approximately 7 million people in the United States.2 These Muslims
come from different ethnic and educational backgrounds. One-third
of the Muslims in the U.S. come from South Asian (India, Pakistan,
Bangladesh, and Afghanistan). Thirty percent of Muslims in the US
are African-American, and twenty-five percent are Arab.2 There are many
myths and misunderstandings surrounding the religion of Islam. It is
important to note that while the Arab culture is often associated with the
teachings of Islam, only one-fifth of the world’s Muslims are Arab. Some

1. Developed in 1984 in the Women’s Support Group & Batter’s Group;

Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, 202 East Superior Street, Duluth,
Minnesota 55802, 218-722-2781
www.duluth-model.org. See Appendix 2 for copy.
2. www.cair-net.org/asp/aboutislam.asp
10 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

of the countries with the largest Muslim populations are Indonesia, India
and China. Ethnic background, culture, and level of education are some
of the variables that affect the ways Islam is practiced and applied, lead­
ing to significant diversity among Muslims at least at a surface level.
However, the basic teachings and tenets of Islam are the same for all
Muslims, regardless of their roots or heritage.
It is beyond the scope of this guide to give a complete overview of
the religion or to talk about the impact of culture on religious practice and
understanding. The goal of this guide is to present an overview of the
teachings of Islam as related to the subject of domestic violence. It is
hoped that having this understanding will guide workers to more effective
and more sensitive interventions with Muslim victims of domestic vio­
lence.
Readers will note that the primary sources used in this guide to define
the Islamic perspective on domestic violence are the Holy Qur’an and
the traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).4 The Holy Qur’an
is accepted by all Muslims as the direct word of God5 revealed to
His last messenger, Muhammad (PBUH).6 The Qur’an is regarded as
a primary source of guidance for all Muslims, and its teachings were
exemplified by the life of Muhammad (PBUH) as a model for all
mankind to follow. His behavior and sayings are collected in the

4. Abbreviation for peace be upon him.

5. The Arabic word for God is ''Allah''.
6. Muslims accept and believe in all of the prophets beginning with Adam
and including Abraham, Moses and Jesus (peace be on them all). Muhammad is
the last prophet, who brought the revelation of Islam to the Arabian peninsula.
Islam is viewed as the continuation of the same message brought by previous
prophets. Muslims follow Prophet Muhammad as a model for their behavior and
way of life.
Traditions7 or Sunnah and are referred to for practical implementation
of Qur’anic guidelines, principles and teachings.
The Qur’an was revealed in Arabic, and this Arabic text has been
preserved in its original form from the time of its revelation over 1400
years ago until today. While the Qur’an has been translated in most of
the world’s languages, only the original text is accepted as divine.
Translations or interpretations of the Qur’an may differ from each other,
depending on the translator’s historical, educational and cultural context.
Many different translations exist. Some translations or interpretations
may lead to different and sometimes incorrect conclusions about the
meanings of a particular verse. Although an authentic English translation
is provided in this paper8, it is important to note that both authors
referenced the original Arabic text for the research and conclusions
presented here.

7. The collections of Traditions, or Hadith, used for this paper are by Bukhari,
Muslim, & Tirmidhi.
8. Ali, Abdullah Yusuf. (1989). The Meaning of Holy Qur’an. New Edition.
Brentsville, MD: Amana Publications.
12 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Overview of
The Islamic Paradigm

I
slam teaches that human beings are created by God to worship
Him, and that they are directly accountable to God for their
behavior. The Qur’an teaches that God has given people
the freedom to choose which path to take in every decision of life.
He has also outlined the consequences of these choices.9 On the Day of
Judgment, every person will be held accountable for choices made during
his/her life and will either be rewarded with eternal Paradise or punished
in Hell. This concept of accountability is central to the Islamic paradigm
in general, and has particular relevance to the prevention and treatment of
domestic violence. It will be addressed in detail later in this guide.
In Islam, no human being has the right to control another human
being’s life. Even the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was reminded by
God that he could not force people to believe in his message of monothe­
ism. He did not have the authority to control others, but only to advise,
remind and guide them.10 Even in matters of religion, the most important
aspect of our lives, individuals are given free will. The Qur’an says,
"Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth stands out clear from
error. Whoever rejects evil and believes in God has grasped the most
trustworthy Handhold, that never breaks" (2:256).

9. "Say, the truth is from your Lord. Let him who will, believe, and let him who
will, reject (it): For the wrongdoers We have prepared a fire whose smoke and
flames, like the walls and roof of a tent, will hem them in....As to those who
believe and work righteousness.. .for them will be gardens of Eternity, beneath
them rivers will flow..." (18:29-31)
10. "Therefore do give admonition, for you are one to admonish. You are not
one to manage (people’s) affairs. But if any turns away and rejects God, God
will punish him with a mighty punishment." (88:21-24).
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 13

Islam presents a comprehensive model for all aspects of life. Many

of the guidelines and principles taught by Islam form a framework
designed to prevent individual and social problems at all levels of
society. Because the family is considered to be the basic unit of society,
family relationships are specifically protected by rules that guard against
potential abuse. While many other aspects of life are guided by broad
principles and values, teachings related to the protection of a healthy
family unit are given with great detail in the Qur’an and in the teachings
of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH).
14 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Core Values ii
■^p-n order to conceptualize the Islamic paradigm and to have an
I appreciation for the preventive proactive model that is pre-
JL. scribed by Islamic teachings, it is important to understand the
core Islamic values of Justice, Equality, and Freedom. These values are
inter-related, and one cannot exist without the other. Actions that violate
any of these values is not acceptable in Islam.

Justice
Justice is the overriding value: "God commands justice, the doing
of good, and liberality to kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful
deeds, and injustice and rebellion. He instructs you, that you may receive
admonition16:90). The Qur’an also says, "O you who believe! Stand
out firmly for God as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred
of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart you from justice.
Be just: that is next to piety. And fear God. For God is well-acquainted
with all that you do" (5:8). Regarding matters at the domestic level,
the Qur’an says, "O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as
witnesses to God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your
kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for God can protect you
both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest you swerve and if you
distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily God is well-acquainted
with all that you do" (4:135).

11. Adapted from Rabi', Hamid. Nazariyat al Qiyam as-Siyasiyyah. Cairo,

Egypt, 1972.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 15

Equality
Islam teaches that all people are created equal in worth and value
regardless of race, ethnicity, gender or class. The concept of equality is
expressed in, "O mankind! Reverence your guardian-Lord，who created
you from a single soul. Created, of like nature, its mate, and from them
twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women—fear God,
through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the
wombs (that bore you12), for God ever watches over you"{A\\). The only
aspect by which one person is deemed better than another in the sight of
God is that of piety. "O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of
a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may
know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily, the most
honored ofyou in the sight ofGod is the most righteous ofyou... "(49:13).

Freedom
The third value is freedom. It includes freedom of thought, freedom
of speech, and freedom of religion. Freedom is not unlimited or absolute;
it is the freedom that God has given humanity to choose between right
and wrong. It is a freedom that is balanced by responsibility towards God
and the belief that ultimately, every person will be held accountable for
his/her actions.

12. Refers to women, in general, and specifically mothers.

16 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Dealing with Oppression

B
ehavior which violates justice, equality and freedom
leads to oppression, which is strictly forbidden. Of course,
oppression occurs in all populations including Muslim
families, and it exists in many forms. Victims of oppression are
encouraged to view their experiences as a test from God. They are expect­
ed to strive to find solutions, while exercising patience and forgiveness.
"The blame is only against those who oppress people with wrongdoing
and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right
andjustice. For such (people) there will be a grievous penalty. But indeed
if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of
courageous mil and resolution in the conduct of affairs" (Q 42:42-43).
This does not mean that victims should be passive. On the contrary,
Muslims are instructed by the Qur’an to be strong and to seek justice.
"And those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them, (are not
cowed) but help and defend themselves. The recompense for an injury is
an injury equal thereto (in degree), but if a person forgives and makes
reconciliation, his reward is due from God, for (God) loves not those who
do wrong" (Q 42: 39-40).13
Sometimes experiencing oppression within the family may lead the
victim to make choices in violation of Islamic teachings. For example, }

13. Also, "We ordained therein for them: life for life, eye for eye, nose for nose,
earfor ear, tooth for tooth, and wounds equalfor equal. But ifanyone remits the
retaliation by way ofcharity, it is an act ofatonement for himself. And ifanyfail
tojudge by (the light of) what God has revealed, they are (no better than) wrong­
doers. n (5:45)
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 17

when anger and resentment build due to continuous mistreatment, a

victim may find herself wanting to hurt the batterer verbally or
physically. In extreme cases, the victim may even kill the batterer. While
the anger and resentment are justified, options that are protective and
preventive of further harm to either party should be explored. In these
situations it is better to leave the abusive situation than to commit
any wrongdoing. The Qur’an says, "When angels take the souls of those
who die in sin against their souls, they say, "In what (plight) were you?"
They reply, "Weak and oppressed were we in the earth.n They say, nWas
not the earth of God spacious enough for you to move yourselves away
(from evil)?" Such [people] will find their abode in hell—what an
evil refuge! Except those who are (really) weak and oppressed—men,
women, and children who have no means in their power, nor (a guide-
post) to direct their way. For those there is hope that God will forgive.
For Goc! does blot out (sins) and is oft- forgiving" (4:98-99).
Implementing consequences for oppressive or unjust behavior is
the responsibility of the society through its established authorities.
Individuals do not have the authority to carry out punishments as
vigilantes; rather, recourse should follow established channels and proce­
dures with punishment determined and enforced by the legal system.
18 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

The Concept of Marriage

r ■ 1 he foundation of an Islamic marriage is described in the
I following verse from the Holy Qur’an: "And among His
signs is this: that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put
love and mercy between you?' (hearts). Verily in that are signs for those
who reflect" (30:21). This verse can be taken as a reminder that spouses
are inherently equal, and that the union between them is a peaceful
and compassionate one. Marriage is considered in Islam to be an act
of obedience to God, and the goal of each person within the marriage
is to please God by living a divinely guided life and avoiding His
prohibitions. Any behavior or interaction done with the intent of
upholding divine instruction will be rewarded by God in the hereafter
and will contribute to a healthy family unit.
Likewise, all behaviors that violate divine instruction, including
the foundation of mercy and love, are punishable by God. Islam prohibits
any form of oppression, which could be defined as "an unjust or
cruel exercise of authority or power."14 A legal premise used by Muslim
jurists to interpret and judge according to Islamic law can be translated
as "Do not do harm, nor allow any harm to be done to you." Oppression
occurs when mercy and justice are ignored. Islam defines oppression
as transgressing limits or boundaries defined by God，and it prohibits
oppression at all levels of society.

14. Webster’s Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary, 1983.

 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 19

Family Structure

slam defines the family, not the individual, as the basic unit of

I society. Within the family, each individual’s primary role is to

worship and obey God. Thus, God is the ultimate authority
to whom each member is accountable. The Qur’an outlines a general
structure for the family, but each Muslim family will have its unique
characteristics and qualities, as well as specific manners in which
members interact with each other. These differences are a result of
various cultures, educational background, socio-economic status, etc.
It is not uncommon for Muslim families to live in extended family
situations. Adult children are expected to care for their aging parents. In
some cultures, there is the "family home" which belongs to the parents
but may also be home to married children and their offspring. The
extended family provides support on multiple levels, including financial
and emotional. Even if nuclear families live separately from the extend­
ed family, there are strong emotional ties. During times of crisis, or when
major decisions need to be made, the whole family often becomes
involved. In many countries, including the United States, if there is
conflict between spouses, the wife may stay with her family until the
situation is diffused. Extended family members may be turned to for
intervention when the couple is unable to resolve a problem on their own
 UM I NC 1£

Gswk Ron s
x iho man as (lie head of the household,
ro^vr^^'c iyc n^irxiaining the family financially.^ He is
t«oc rro*\ iding for a broad range of needs,
including spir.aiuL ewee乂i二 and educational needs. Without this
di\inc injunction, mcr rt；si\ not tul til I their financial responsibility
towards their family. Women are then tree to take care of the family by
providing nunuring. especially to children. Men and women are partners
in the endeavor ot' having a healthy family unit in which children
are raised to be God-conscious members of society. While men are
obligated to work in order to provide for the family, women are under
no obligation to do so and may or may not choose to work outside the
home, depending on the individual circumstances of the family.
The fact that husband and wife have different roles to play in ihe
family docs not in any way suggest that men are better than, or have
God-given power over, women. The Qur’an sets up the framework for
different roles that are equal in value and are complementary. Each
gender has special qualities that, in general, lead each gender to be better
qualified for a particular role. The Qur’an says, "And in noyvise covet
those things in which God has bestowed His gifts more freely on some of
you them on others: to men is allotted what they earn, ami to 'women
irhat they earn. But ask God of His bounty. For God has full know ledge
of all things.u (4:32).

15. ”A4e，i are the protectors and niaintainers of ^vomcn, because God has given
the one more than /he other, and because of the susfcnance fficy provide from
their own means... " (4:34).
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 21

Furthermore, the roles are not mutually exclusive. Both parents must
be involved in raising the children. Although each may participate in
different aspects of the child’s upbringing, they are equally responsible
for the overall welfare of the child. The fact that women are the primary
managers of household affairs does not mean that husbands should
not help, or that they are restricted exclusively to this role. Prophet
Muhammad (PBUH), the model husband, used to help with domestic
chores such as sweeping and mending his clothes16; and his wife Aisha
became noted as a leader and a teacher whom many men consulted after
the Prophet’s death.

16. Abu Shaqqah, Tahrir al-Mar 'ah, V. 1, pp. 128-129.

 What Islam says about Domestic Violence
22

Decision-Making in the Family

I
n all matters pertaining to the family, husband and wife should
consult one another and try to come to a mutually agreeable
decision. Mutual consultation is the standard to be used by any­
one in a leadership position, as exemplified by the Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH). He often consulted his followers and his wives in any matter in
which he did not receive divine instruction. In verses that describe the
qualities of the believers in general, the Qur’an says, ...those who avoid
the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and, when they are angry even
then forgive; those who hearken to their Lord, and establish regular
prayer; who (conduct) their affairs by mutual consultation.. ."(2:37-38).
Because the purpose of any leadership role in Islam is not control and
power, but rather, to safeguard the best interest of the group, there is no
fear of losing authority on the part of the leader by consulting with the
members of that group.
As far as the family is concerned, mutual consultation is specifically
mentioned in the matter of weaning the child of divorced parents in two
difTerent verses.17 It is interesting to note that breastfeeding is generally
considered to be an issue in the "woman’s domain," however, the father

17. "Let the women live in the same style as you live, according to your means:
Do not annoy them, so as to restrict them, and if they cany (life in their wombs)
spend your substance on them until they deliver their burden, and if they suckle
y°ur children give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together
according to what is just and reasonable, and ifyou find yourselves in difficul­
ties, let another woman suckle the child on /he father's behalf." (65:6)
 Wiiat Islam says about Domestic Violence 23

is included in the decision-making process.18 Likewise, many areas that

are typically considered to be "men’s business" should include the opin­
ion of the women, especially when the decisions taken affect the whole
family.

18. "The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole years, if the
father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and
clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than
it can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor
father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way. If
they both decide on weaning by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there
is no blame on them. Ifyou decide on a wet-nurse for your offspring there is no
blame on you provided you pay (the mother) what you offered, on equitable
terms. But fear God and know that God sees well what you do." 2:233 (It was
a common practice in Arabia for a wet-nurse to be hired to breastfeed the child)
24 What Islam
SAYS 八bout Domestic Violence

Parent-child RELATIONSHIP

I
slam structures the parent-child relationship very clearly. Islam
assigns complete responsibility for raising children to the
parents. Their duties include, besides physical care and nour­
ishment, acculturation into Islam and socialization into the Muslim
community. The Qur'an explains in detail19 the rights and obligations
for both sides of the relationship under different circumstances. Parents
are asked to take good care of their children and to do their duty before
asking for their rights. The following example, in the Qur’an, of a right-
eous man instructing his son highlights the priorities of a Muslim parent:
"0 my son! Join not in worship (others) with God: for false worship is
indeed the highest wrongdoing...If there be (but) the weight of a mustard
seed and it were (hidden) in a rock, or anywhere in the heavens or on the
earth, God will bring it forth: For God understands the finer mysteries
and is well- acquainted (with them). O my son! Establish regular prayer,
enjoin what is just, and forbid what is wrong, and bear with patient
constancy whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (ofpurpose) in the
conduct ofaffairs. And swell not thy cheek with pride at men, nor walk in
insolence through the earth; for God loves not any arrogant boaster. And
be moderate in pace, and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds :

without doubt is the braying of the donkey. \31:12-19)

Knowledge is a necessary qualification for the implementation
of raising children, but it is not sufficient. God advises the Prophet
Muhammad (PBUH) to "Invite to the way ofyour Lord with wisdom and

19. Holy Qur'an : 31:12-19, 17:23-25, 46:17-19, 29:8...

:
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 25

beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most
gracious. 16:125). In addition to knowledge, wisdom and proper com­
munication etiquette are required to facilitate giving good advice. Even
in instances when there is direct violation of God’s commands, one may
not be harsh. As the Prophet was told, "It is part of the mercy of God that
thou dost deal gently with them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they
would have broken awayfrom about thee: so pass over (theirfaults), and
ask for (Gods) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of
moment){?>:\ 59)
Unfortunately, in some contemporary Muslim families, one sees in
many cases, boys are given more liberties than girls to go out, to drive, to
pursue higher degrees, and even to participate in Islamic activities. On a
more subtle level, Middle Eastern culture gives women the burden of
making relationships work out by teaching them to be passive and sub­
missive, sacrificing their needs for their husbands’ desires. Although
many Muslim families may exhibit these traits, it is important to distin­
guish between what a family may practice because of their cultural back-
ground versus what the religion of Islam actually teaches. It is also
important to remember that Muslims, like members of any other faith
group, vary in the degree to which they practice their religion or under­
stand its concepts.
26 what Islam SAYS about Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence

A
lthough the specific term "Domestic Violence” has not
been used traditionally in Muslim cultures, and while
there has been some denial historically that domestic
violence is a phenomenon that exists in Muslim communities, the Qur an
identifies the concept of domestic violence under the umbrella of oppres­
sion. At the family level, oppression is defined as any act that violates the
specific boundaries delineated by God20 to protect spousal and children’s
rights. The general categories of domestic oppression mentioned in the
Qur’an include aggression, wrongdoing, harsh treatment (especially
preventing a woman from the choice of marrying whom she pleases), and
inflicting harm or injury.21 Actions that fall into any of these categories
are in violation of the Islamic values ofjustice, equality, freedom, mercy
and forgiveness.
Family structure, gender roles, marriage and divorce laws, reconcili­
ation and financial matters are among the issues that are addressed in
great detail in the Qur’an. Throughout the many verses discussing these
issues, there are common themes which emphasize the connection
between justice and piety, accountability to God, and the importance of
preventive measures to avoid injustice and oppression.

20. See 2: 227-237.

21 The Arabic terms used in the Qur’an for these categories are: 'udwaan, 'adhl.
and darar.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 27

Men (husbands, fathers, brothers, or guardians) are warned not to

use their authority as head of the household to hurt or take advantage
of women in any way. They are reminded that if they do so, they will
be ultimately hurting themselves since they will be held accountable by
God, with a serious punishment for oppressors. In times of conflict or
discord, the reminder of being God-conscious in making choices and
decisions is repeated over and over.22 These reminders emphasize the
relationship between each individual and God as over-riding the spousal
relationship, or any other human relationship.

22. See Qur’an 65:1-12 for details concerning separation，divorce，reconciliation，

punishment for transgressors and reward for those who obey God’s laws.
26 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence
lthough the specific term "Domestic Violence" has not
been used traditionally in Muslim cultures, and while
there has been some denial historically that domestic
violence is a phenomenon that exists in Muslim communities, the Qur’an
identifies the concept of domestic violence under the umbrella of oppres­
sion. At the family level, oppression is defined as any act that violates the
specific boundaries delineated by God20 to protect spousal and children’s
rights. The general categories of domestic oppression mentioned in the
Qur’an include aggression, wrongdoing, harsh treatment (especially
preventing a woman from the choice of marrying whom she pleases), and
inflicting harm or injury.21 Actions that fall into any of these categories
are in violation of the Islamic values ofjustice, equality, freedom, mercy
and forgiveness.
Family structure, gender roles, marriage and divorce laws, reconcili­
ation and financial matters are among the issues that are addressed in
great detail in the Qur’an. Throughout the many verses discussing these
issues, there are common themes which emphasize the connection
between justice and piety, accountability to God, and the importance of
preventive measures to avoid injustice and oppression.

20. See 2: 227-237.

21. The Arabic terms used in the Qur’an for these categories are: 'udwaan, ‘adhl,
and darar.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 27

Men (husbands, fathers, brothers, or guardians) are warned not to

use their authority as head of the household to hurt or take advantage
of women in any way. They are reminded that if they do so, they will
be ultimately hurting themselves since they will be held accountable by
God, with a serious punishment for oppressors. In times of conflict or
discord, the reminder of being God-conscious in making choices and
decisions is repeated over and over.22 These reminders emphasize the
relationship between each individual and God as over-riding the spousal
relationship, or any other human relationship.

22. See Qur’an 65:1-12 for details concerning separation, divorce，reconciliation,

punishment for transgressors and reward for those who obey God’s laws.
 Wi I at Islam says about Domkstic Violin ci*
28

Resolving Conflict
ven the best relationships go through difficult times, and the
Qur’an provides a formula for dealing with marital discord.
The greatest threat to the survival of a marriage comes from
infidelity. The steps that are outlined in the following verses serve to deal
with this problem and to prevent problems from escalating. "Men shall
lake full care of women with the bounties which God has bestowed
wore abundantly on the former than on the latter, and with what they
may spend out of their possessions. And the righteous women are the
truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has [ordained to be
guarded]. And as for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear,
admonish them [first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them; and
if thereupon they pay you heecP, do not seek to harm them. Behold, God
is indeed most high, great! And ifyou have reason to fear that a breach
might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiterfrom among
his people and an arbiterfrom among her people; if they both want to set
things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is
indeed all-knowing, aware. (4:34-35).
Aspects of this verse have been subject to a great deal of controver­
sy among Muslims, as well as different interpretations by Muslim
scholars depending on the historical and cultural context in which they

23. Yusuf Ali’s translation is "if they return to obedience." It should be noted that
obedience here is in the context of obedience to God. The husband, as head of
the family, is responsible for encouraging his family to be obedient to God, as he
himself must be obedient to God.
24. 4:34-35. Translation from Asad, Muhammad. The Message of the Qur 'an,
1980. ~
 What Islam says about Domi-stic Violkncm 29

lived. In this verse, the word translated as "ill-will" has been explained by
the translator Muhammad Asad as a "deliberate, persistent breach of her
marital obligations."25 He notes that the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) is not
known to have ever hit any woman, and that he "stipulated that beating
should be resorted to only if the wife has become guilty, in an obvious
manner, of immoral conduct, and that it should be done in such a way as
not to cause pain."26 Muslim scholars agree that if the intention of this
verse refers to literally hitting one’s wife, it is a symbolic hitting, using
nothing harder than the equivalent of a paper tissue. There is consensus
that leaving any marks or injury to any degree is unacceptable. A con­
temporary researcher analyzed this verse within the overall framework of
the Qur'an and concluded that in this context, the intended meaning is not
"beat", but rather the temporary separation of a husband from his wife.27
This verse has often been used by men to justify beating their wives.
However, it is important to read this verse in the context provided by the
Qur’an in its entirety, as well as by the example of the Prophet
Muhammad. A leading contemporary Muslim jurist, Dr. Taha Jabir Al-
alwani28, explained that jurists consider the purposes of marriage when
deriving rulings from these verses. The general purposes of marriage
include fulfilling the conditions needed for living in tranquility and
harmony, building family relationships and networks, and procreation.

25. Asad, p. 109, footnote # 44.

26. Asad, p. 110, footnote # 45, views of various scholars are compared.
27. For the complete analysis and discussion, see Abusulayman, Abdulhamid
A.(2003). Marita! Discord: Recapturing the Full Islamic Spirit of Human
Dignity. London: The International Institute of Islamic Thought.
28. Personal Communication, Taha Jabir Al-alvvani, President of the Graduate
School of Islamic Social Sciences, Leesburg, Virginia.
30 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Application of teachings from the Qur’an must not undermine these

goals. Sometimes, jurists apply the literal meaning of a verse when that
meaning will achieve these goals; other times they apply the spirit of
a verse if the literal meaning hinders the achievement of these goals.
It is important to note the cultural context in which the above verse
was revealed in order to have a better understanding of how it was intend­
ed and how it can be used for the benefit of the family. In pre-Islamic
Arabia, women were considered the property of men. If a man died, for
example, his brother or his adult son could "inherit" the wife and take
her for himself without her consent. If a man found his wife guilty of
having an affair, killing her was a socially acceptable punishment.29 In
that cultural context, this verse served to protect women by introducing
less destructive ways to address the problem. If a woman did not respond
to verbal discussions, her husband could respond to the gravity of the
situation by not sleeping with her, giving her the chance to realize the
risks involved if she did not resume her commitment to the marriage.
Finally, he could use something very light, like a tissue, to hit her. This
process was very different, and much more constructive, than the
standard response of that time.
Dr. Al-alwani suggests that in modem societies today, the third step
in the process ("beating" the wife), is not to be applied because the
circumstances of today’s society are different from the society in which
the Qur’an was revealed. He bases his opinion on the legislative rulings
of the companions of the Prophet Muhammad and other jurists in this
matter as well as other areas of Islamic law where rulings take into
consideration the specific circumstances and elements of any given
29. Personal communication with Imam Mohamed Magid, Director of ADAMS
Center，Herndon, VA，October 27, 2003.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 31

issue. Emphasis is placed on the spirit of the verse, which is the

protection of the family unit from a real threat to its survival. In today’s
world, beating one’s wife would surely lead to the very destruction of
the family unit that this verse seeks to preserve.
Looking at the life of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) as an
example of how these serious problems could be addressed is very
informative. He was known for never hitting a woman or a child and
for being strongly against the use of any type of violence. In reference to
men who use violence at home, the Prophet said, "Could any of you beat
his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?"31
He also said, "Never beat God’s handmaidens (female believers)."32 He
was a man whom his wife described as having internalized the teachings
of the Qur'an in his character and personality.
The Prophet himself was put in several situations where he could
have beaten his wives had he chosen to apply the verses with the literal
interpretation. His wives sometimes caused him a lot of trouble, conspir­
ing against him out of jealousy for another wife. Once, his wife Aisha,
was even accused of adultery by some members of the community.33
In none of these situations did he ever raise a hand or even his voice.
He gave his wives options when they complained, and allowed Aisha to
stay at her father’s house for a month at her request, until her innocence
was established.

30. Personal Communication, Taha Jabir Al-alwani, President of the Graduate

School of Islamic Social Sciences, Leesburg, Virginia.
31. Narrated in the hadith collections of Bukhari and Muslim.
32. Cited by Asad, p. 110.
33. Adultery is a serious offense in the Islamic context. A claim of
adultery is grounds for a legal proceeding.
32 What Islam says aroi'T Domi-stic Violi-.ncie

Other issues leading to conflict should be solved by communication

and problem-solving techniques. If a couple cannot resolve these issues
on their own, each spouse is advised to bring a trusted person to represent
him/her for arbitration. Any available resource that might help in solving
the problem should be explored. In addition to arbitration or mediation
using family members, counseling and anger management classes should
be pursued. In the event that all efforts fail to resolve the problem,
divorce can be considered as an option.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 33

Divorce: A Peaceful Solution

ivorce is allowed in Islam as a last resort when all other

D efforts at resolving conflict have been used. It is permitted

under a wide variety of circumstances, but is especially
acceptable when there is any cruelty involved. Divorce in Islam may
differ from its meaning and laws in the United States. It can be initiated
by either party, but the procedure and process varies depending on who
initiates the divorce, and the circumstances around the divorce. It should
be noted that there are different schools of thought and that some leaders
may be more conservative than others in the matter of divorce.
The Qur’an devotes an entire chapter to the details of divorce.34
Emphasis is placed on ensuring spousal and children’s rights, acknowl­
edging that these rights are often abused. The Qur’an holds not only each
spouse accountable for making sure these rights are not violated, but also
warns the entire community of being punished if these rights are not
upheld.35 Although there may be hurt feelings on both sides, the Qur’an
advises decision-making from a compassionate stance, encouraging the
couple to remember anything good that they shared. If the husband initi­
ates the divorce, there are certain conditions under which his pronounce­
ment of divorce must be made. For example, a pronouncement of divorce
during extreme anger or under the influence of an intoxicant may be
considered invalid. After the divorce pronouncement is made, there is
a three-month period during which the wife remains in her home. The

34. Chapter 65, entitled "Divorce."

35. "How many populations that insolently opposed the command of their Lord
and of His messengers did We not then call to severe account? And We imposed
on them an exemplary punishment? " (65:8)
34 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

couple should continue normal interactions, except for having any

sexual relations. This period is provided to allow for any opportunities of
reconciliation. If this time period comes to an end without any desire
for reconciliation, then the divorce is completed. The husband cannot
take back any gifts he has given his wife, and remains responsible for
spousal and child support.
The wife can also initiate divorce whether she has just cause or not.
If she initiates divorce in the absence of any cruelty or mistreatment, she
forfeits her right to keep any gifts, including her dowry. The wife of one
of the companions of the Prophet asked the Prophet for a divorce saying
that she couldn’t stand to live with him despite having no criticism of his
character or his religiosity. The Prophet asked her to return the garden he
had given her and ordered her husband to accept the garden and release
her from marriage.36
In the event that a woman is being abused or mistreated, there are
several steps she can take. First, she should try advising her husband or
having someone else advise him. Efforts should be made to seek coun­
seling or anger management in order to improve the situation. If all
efforts fail, then she has the option of ending the marriage. The Qur’an
says, "If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part there is
no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between them­
selves; and such settlement is best... but if they disagree (and must part),
God will provide abundance for all from His All-Reaching bounty:
For God is He that cares for all and is wise." (2:128,130). Finally, the
community should be advised of the actions of an abuser in order to
prevent him from abusing again in future relationships. The Prophet
(PBUH) advised one woman, Asma, not to marry a particular man

36. Cited in Bukhari, Book of Divorce, # 4867.

 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 35

because he was known to beat women.37

The psychological state of those impacted by divorce is also
addressed in the Qur’an. The theme of forgiveness is tied to being
conscious of God and is linked to the healing process. Strategies leading
to forgiveness include focusing on the positive aspects that existed in
the relationship in order to prevent hatred and anger from taking over,
controlling one’s anger to avoid acting unjustly, and increasing one’s
prayers. Furthermore, the awareness that God is aware of everything that
happens and that He will ensure justice ultimately facilitates the process
of forgiveness and may reduce any impulses to seek revenge.
Despite the permissibility of divorce, in many cultures that are pre­
dominantly Muslim, such as the Middle Eastern culture, divorced women
may be stigmatized even if they have been mistreated by their husbands.
These women may also experience difficulty obtaining a divorce from
the court. Some countries’ laws deny women their rights as Muslims;
these countries are not applying Islamic law because they often contra­
dict Qur’anic teachings. Women from these countries may struggle a
great deal when trying to decide whether to leave an abusive home or
remain there. In these situations, it is important to understand the cultur­
al impact on the victim’s decision-making process while reminding her of
the religious permissibility of ending the marriage. Women from these
countries may struggle with tremendous feelings of guilt and shame.
Connecting these women to a religious community that is supportive can
greatly facilitate her experience. Consulting with a religious leader in the
community can also help both workers and victims to better understand
the Islamic guidelines regarding divorce.

37. Personal communication with Mohammad Magid, Director of ADAMS

Center. Hadith cited in Abu Shaqqah, Abdul Halim, Tahrir al-Mar’ahfi 'Asr
al-Risalah, 1990, V. 5.
36 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Child Custody
he Qur’an does not specify which parent should have

T custody of the children in case of a divorce. However, the

traditions of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) provide
guidance in this matter. There are several instances of parents asking the
Prophet (PBUH) to help resolve custody disputes. On one occasion he
said, "The one who separates a mother from her child, God will separate
between him and his beloved one on the Day of Judgment." In other
instances, he allowed the child to choose which parent to live with.38
There are significant differences of opinion among the various
Muslim schools of thought regarding child custody. In general, child
custody is divided into two stages. The first stage applies to very young
children; most scholars agree that at this stage, children should remain
with their mother. During the second stage, most schools of thought
recommend that boys live with their fathers after the age of 7 to 9; while
girls should remain with their mothers. The rationale here is that children
benefit from living with the parent of the same gender in order to have a
role model and to be socialized properly. The differences in rulings
between the major schools of thought reflect the positioning of that
school as to whether the focus in determining custody is primarily on the
welfare of the child versus on the welfare of the mother. Regardless,
parents are advised not to allow their differences to impact the child.
They should avoid involving the children in their own conflict and from
using the children to get back at the other parent.

38. Cited in Roald, Anne So fie. Women in Islam: the Western Experience. 2001.
pp. 230-232.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violencf. 37

Tools For The Worker

ost people trained to work in the area of domestic

M violence are familiar with the power and control

wheel.39 It is often used to help victims and perpetrators
understand the dynamics of domestic violence. What follows will be an
Islamic perspective on the spokes of the wheel. Workers will find this
perspective useful in facilitating acceptance and understanding of how
the types of abuse mentioned in the wheel are completely unacceptable
in Islam, and therefore to God. Many Muslim women struggle because of
their culturally ingrained belief that their husbands have the right to treat
them in ways that are abusive by virtue of his position as head of the
family. Hence, these women also are reluctant to take any action to stop
the abusive behavior because of their belief or fear that God will be angry
with them for disobeying their husbands or for taking any action that may
lead to the destruction of the family unit. Of course, abusers play on these
fears and beliefs as a form of psychological abuse in order to maintain
the status quo.

Power and Control Wheel: Islamic Perspective

(Intimidation) Given the principle of tranquility that is a necessary
criterion of an Islamic marriage, behaviors that instill fear in the other
spouse are unacceptable. Even in the case where a relationship has
deteriorated to the point of divorce, the Qur’an prohibits taking advan­
tage of the spouse in any way. "When you divorce women, and they

39. See Appendix 2 for replication of Power and Control Wheel.

38 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

are about to fulfill the term of their 'iddah 40, either retain them back or
let them go, but do not retain them to injure them (or) take undue advan­
tage; if any one does that, he wrongs his own soul...." (2:231). Instead,
the Qur’an instructs the spouses to remember any positive aspects or
experiences that were shared, and to respect the relationship that was
shared by being respectful and just to each other, "...the husbands should
either retain their wives together on equitable terms or let them go with
kindness…"(2:229).
(Emotional Abuse) Muslims are enjoined by the Qur’an and the
teachings of their Prophet to be very careful about offending or insulting
others. Believers are prohibited from calling other people names,
mocking others, or putting them down in any way. "O you who believe!
Let not some people among you laugh at others. It may be that the
(latter) are better than the former: nor defame nor be sarcastic to each
other, nor call each other by offensive nicknames: ill-seeming is a
name connoting wickedness, (to be used by one) after he has believed:
and those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong." (49:11). In addi­
tion, the Qur’an warns that being suspicious of each other leads to the
sins of spying and backbiting, and should thus be avoided. "O you who
believe! Avoid suspicion as much as possible. For suspicion in some
cases is a sin. And spy not on each other, nor speak ill of each other
behind their backs...." (49:12). The Prophet (PBUH) said, "Muslims are
brothers (and sisters). They should not betray or humiliate each other."41
40.'Iddah refers to the three-month separation period between husband and wife
that must occur prior to the completion of a divorce. During this period, the
couple continues to reside in the same home and maintain civil relations. If there
are no sexual relations during this time, the divorce is complete at the end of the
duration. The purpose of the iddah is to allow for any opportunity for reconcili­
ation that might occur as they reflect on the possibility of impending divorce.
41. Cited in the collection of Tirmidhi, Book 27, No. 1850.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 39

(Isolation) Islam emphasizes social and family relations and recog­

nizes connections to others as a basic human need. Every Muslim has a
responsibility to maintain good relations with relatives, neighbors, and
others in the community. The Qur’an associates treating others well with
worshiping God: "Serve God, and join not any partners with Him; and
do good•—to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who
are near, neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side, the
wayfarer (you meet)..." (4:36).
No one has the right to deny another person the opportunity for social
interaction. In fact, most teachings in Islam apply to relational contexts
and govern interactions between people. Many forms of worship are
communal or congregational. For example, Muslims are encouraged to
participate in social functions, to celebrate with others, to visit the sick,
and to provide support for one another in times of hardship. The Prophet
(PBUH) declined a dinner invitation repeatedly until his wife was also
invited, refusing to leave her behind.42

(Using Blame) Every person is individually responsible for his/her

own actions and cannot blame another person for his/her mistakes. The
Qur’an says, "Ifanyone earns afault or a sin and throws it on to one that
is innocent, he carries (on himselj) (both) afalsehood and a flagrant sin."
(4:112). On the Day of Judgment, each person will be held accountable
separate from his/her spouse, parent, child, etc. The Qur’an says,
"Namely, that no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another; that
a person can have nothing but what one strives for; that the fruit ofone’s
striving will soon come in sight, then will one be rewarded with a reward

42. Cited in Abu Shaqqah, Tahrir al Mar 'ah, Vol. 1，p. 306.
40 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

complete." (53:38-41 ).43 False accusations, particularly in the case of a

woman’s chastity, have severe punishment. "And those who launch a
charge against chaste women, and produce not four witnesses (to support
their allegations) flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their evidence
ever after, for such men are wicked transgressors.n (24:4).
(Using Children) Islam protects and guarantees the rights of
children. They should not be subject to any harsh treatment nor witness
any abuse. Muslim jurists make their rulings in family matters by consid­
ering the child’s benefit before the adult’s. The Prophet Muhammad
(PBUH) was known to interact with children in the most gentle and
respectful manner possible. During times of conflict, the Qur’an reminds
spouses that ... "no mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her
child. Nor father on account of his child..." (2:233).
(Using sexual abuse) Human sexuality is fully recognized in Islam
and is considered normal, healthy and righteous when expressed in
the proper marital context.44 In restricting sexual relations to married
partners, Islam views marital sex as an act of obedience to God in which
the values of Islam must be observed. Each partner’s needs must be taken
into consideration, and each one has the right to a fulfilling relationship.
Even in this intimate relationship, God’s presence is a reminder for
considerate and compassionate treatment of one’s spouse. However, the
sexual relationship is to be guarded with strict confidentiality and details
are not to be discussed with others (except for the purpose of treatment).

43. Also, "Whoever receives guidance, receives it for his/her own benefit;
whoever goes astray does so to his/her own loss. No bearer of burdens can bear
the burden of another, nor would We make Our wrath visit until We had sent a
messenger (to give warning. ’’(17:15)
44. Personal communication, Imam Johari Abdul Malik, Muslim Chaplin,
Howard University
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 41

In addition to restricting the sexual relationship to marriage, the

Qur’an also established boundaries on whom one can marry (or have a
sexual relationship with).45 Ones parents, siblings, children, aunts, uncles,
nieces, nephews, and spouse’s parents are all people to whom one cannot
be married. These boundaries are protective and serve to prevent abuse
and incest.
Sexual abuse can occur when force is used by either party, especial­
ly to have sex in a manner or time that is prohibited. For example,
Islam prohibits anal sex, intercourse during the wife’s menstrual cycle46,
and any sexual relations while fasting.47 When one spouse intentionally
or consistently minimizes, invalidates or ignores the sexual needs or
desires of the other spouse, abuse is also occurring.
Workers should be aware that issues related to sexuality may be very
difficult for victims to discuss. In many cultures, this is a taboo subject.
Furthermore, societal views on the sexual rights and responsibilities of
husbands and wives may make disclosure more complicated. For exam­
ple, in many Eastern countries it is culturally accepted that husbands have
unlimited sexual rights to their wives, regardless of how she may feel.
Therefore, the conceptualization of marital rape rarely exists in the

45. See Qur’an 4:23.

46. "They ask you concerning women s courses. Say, They are a hurt and a
pollution. So keep awayfrom women in their courses, and do not approach them
until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, you may approach
them in any manner, time or place ordainedfor you by God. For God loves those
who turn to Him constantly and He loves those 'who keep themselves pure
and clean." (2:222). What is meant here by staying away from women during
menstruation is strictly abstinence from intercourse; otherwise, all interaction is
normal, including the display of affection.
47. "Permitted to you on the night of the fast is the approach to your wives. They
are your garments and you are their garments..." (2:187)
42 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Muslim world, although it may not be uncommon for women to be

forced (either physically, or psychologically by using guilt) to have
sexual relations within the marital relationship. This type of abuse may
not be reported initially, but is should be gently inquired about.
Regarding children who have been sexually abused by a family
member, workers should anticipate that the family and the community
may put a great deal of pressure on the child to prevent him or her from
reporting, or later to get the child to recant. This pressure is a result of a
combination of factors: denial that this type of abuse occurs, unwilling-
ness to believe that a family member could be capable of such an
atrocity, shame, mistaken belief that a female child must have provoked
it, and wanting to protect the reputation of the family. In the case of girls
who have been sexually violated, there is also the fear that if her experi-
ence becomes known to others, her chances of getting married will
suffer due to the high cultural value placed on virginity.
(Using economic abuse) It is the responsibility of Muslim men to
provide for women financially. The Qur’an say, "Men are the protectors
and maintainers of women, because God has given the one more than
the other, and because of the sustenance they provide from their own
means... "(4:34). Men should not make women feel humiliated or in
debted to them because it is a Muslim woman’s right to be taken care of
financially. Even if he is unable to provide for her fully, she has the
choice of working outside the home but is not required to contribute to
household expenses. In the event that a husband has the means to support
his family but withholds money, the wife has the right to take what she
needs for herself and the children (within reason) without his permission.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 43

In the case of marital dispute or threat of divorce, a husband should

not threaten financial hardship as a means to prevent his wife from leav­
ing. "O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against
their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you may take
away part of the dowry you have given them—except where they have
been guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary, live with them on a foot­
ing of kindness and equality. Ifyou take a dislike to them, it may be that
you dislike a good thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of
good. But ifyou decide to take one wife in place of another, even ifyou
had given the latter a whole treasure of dowry, take not the least bit of it
back. Would you take it by slander and a manifest wrong? And how could
you take it when you have gone in unto each other, and they have taken
from you a solemn covenant?" (4:19-21).
44 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

The Concept of Accountability

he significance of accountability in the area of domestic

T violence is related to the batterer’s acknowledgment to him­

self, the victim, and all battered women that he has com­
mitted abuses that are unacceptable in society. The Islamic concept of
accountability is much broader and much more absolute. There are two
levels of accountability in Islam: primary accountability is to God, and
secondary accountability is to oneself and other human beings. Muslims
believe that God is watching all people at all times, recording all indi-
viduals’ actions in order to hold them accountable on the Day of
Judgment. God’s laws that govern human behavior are absolute, as
compared to laws designed by human governments or societies. In Islam,
there is no dichotomy; rather, in order to be considered Islamic, all laws
should be consistent with divine instruction. Because of this, crimes
against people are also considered as sins, and can be judged in this world
(through courts and legal mechanisms) as well as the hereafter.

Repentance
Repentance in Islam is a simple process that occurs on multiple lev­
els. The first step is at the intrapersonal level: the batterer must face
him/herself and admit that there is a problem. This step is addressed in
the Qur’an, "And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or
wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask for for­
giveness for their sins—and who can forgive sins except God?—and are
never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the wrong) they have done."
(3:135). The second step is to show regret of the action and to repent
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 45

immediately. The Qur’an says, "God accepts the repentance ofthose who
do evil in ignorance and repent soon afterwards; to them will God turn
in mercy; for God is full of knowledge and wisdom " (3:17). Finally, the
third level of repentance is accepting full responsibility for the evil deeds
committed. This level involves two steps: immediately discontinuing
the abuse and establishing a new lifestyle that is not conducive to further
abuse. God says in the Qur'an, "Those who repent and make amends
and openly declare (the truth); to them I turn, for I am oft-returning,
most merciful" (2:160) Also, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said, "If
anyone of you hurt someone in any way, go quickly and ask forgiveness
before the time passes and you pay off in the hereafter."48 The Qur’an
encourages people to "establish regular prayers at the end of the day and
at the approaches of the night. For those things that are good remove
those that are evil... ’’（11:114).

48. Narrated by Al-Bukhari..

46 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Useful Interventions
with Muslims

nterventions with Muslims should maintain a family focus.

I Having a family focus affects the way interventions are

designed and implemented, as well as the overall goals of
the worker and the victim. While the safety of the victim is always the
first priority, it must be remembered that the family, not the individual, is
the basic unit of the Muslim society. All interventions and treatment
plans should consider the benefit of the family as a unit, in addition to the
safety of the individual members. Ideally, interventions should achieve
safety for the victims, treatment for the offenders, and preservation of
the family unit whenever possible. Of course, separation of the victim
from the abuser may be necessary initially, and divorce may be an
eventual consequence. However, divorce should be held as a final option
when all others have been exhausted.
While Muslim victims may be American citizens, they may also be
immigrants, refugees or asylees. The background and legal status of
the victim are significant variables in planning interventions and in the
resulting outcomes. Culture and religion may interact in many ways,
leading to a wide range of responses in Muslim victims. It is important to
assess the impact of underlying cultural values when intervening with a
family experiencing domestic violence. On the other hand, one must not
be too quick to explain all issues as cultural ones; there are often under­
lying emotional or mental health issues, in addition to idiosyncrasies in a
particular family or individual. The following tips may be helpful in
beginning to develop effective interventions.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 47

TIPS

Assess
• Degree of acculturation: More acculturated women will be more
familiar with the concepts of domestic violence, the resources available,
the legal system, etc. They may also be better prepared to be self-suffi­
cient due to education or work experience.
• English comprehension: It is important to ascertain the need for
an interpreter. Among non-English speakers, comprehension levels are
usually better than the ability to express themselves. However, many
times misunderstandings occur between the worker and the victim due
to misinterpreting key words despite good overall comprehension of
English. Avoid relying on the victim’s children to interpret. Try to use
professionals to interpret whenever possible.
• Underlying trauma: Many immigrant Muslims have come from
war-tom countries and have experienced trauma either from witnessing
events related to war or in the process of fleeing the country. Underlying
trauma can affect both the victim and the perpetrator and should be iden­
tified and treated because it can exacerbate violence in the home, as well
as compound the trauma of the domestic violence.

Identify
• Reasons for immigration: Knowing the history can provide impor­
tant clues to understanding the domestic violence and planning appropri­
ate treatment. Sometimes, the abuse begins after the family comes to the
United States and can indicate depression or other mental illnesses that
need to be treated.
48 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

• Stressors: These can include role-reversal, change in socio-eco­

nomic status due to necessary career changes, financial hardship, culture
shock, loss of extended family, language barriers, inability to access
appropriate resources, etc.
• Relevant religious and cultural issues: In addition to understand­
ing the religious and cultural beliefs about domestic violence, workers
should inquire about any particular needs a victim may have if she choos­
es to go to a shelter. Some of these needs may include identifying a space
which the victim can use for prayer, making sure food does not contain
any pork or alcohol products, and providing appropriate clothing. Asking
the victim about special needs she may have in order to accommodate her
religious practices will be greatly appreciated and will increase the vic­
tim^ comfort level.

Expect
• Polite nodding or verbal agreement with possible non-
compliance: In many Eastern cultures, assertiveness is not valued. It is
impolite and disrespectful to disagree with an authority figure. Therefore,
it is not unusual that in the beginning of the relationship with the worker,
victims may seem to be in agreement while not following through later
with recommendations.
• More time needed to build rapport and trust: The roles of
victim advocate, therapist, shelter worker, etc may be unfamiliar to immi­
grant women. Suspicion and distrust may be a result of Muslim women’s
fear that Western workers are biased toward divorce, guilt about seeking
help outside the family or community, and uncertainty about the choices
she will be asked to make.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 49

Explain
• ’’The system”： Take time to explain clearly the role and limitation
of the advocate, the shelter, the court, and the laws. Explanations may
need to be repeated without the use of jargon and taking care to use
simple, clear language with limited-English speakers.
• The law: While most women know that they can call 911 if they are
being hurt, they often do not know what will happen once the authorities
arrive. They may be surprised when the abuser is arrested, or dismayed
to find out they cannot stop the prosecution by dropping the charges.
• The cycle of violence: Many Muslim women confuse the concept
of forgiveness with tolerance for the abuse. Emphasize the probability
that the abuse will escalate or become more severe without intervention.
• Impact on the children: Many women believe it is more important
for children to live with both parents than for children to live in a safe,
non-violent home. Explaining the long-term psychological effects on the
children of living in a violent home can often help women make the
choices they need to secure safety for themselves and their children.
• Consequences for the abuser: Women need to understand what
events will be set in motion once they make a police report. These
consequences can be framed as part of the process of accountability that
abusers must experience in order to change and create the possibility for
a future healthy relationship.

Share
• Success stories: Knowing how other Muslim women have sur-
vived, ended the violence, coped with the potential negative response of
other Muslims, and created healthier environments for their children can
be inspirational and motivational to victims.
50 ! What Islam says about Domestic Violence

• Some personal information: Sharing general information about

yourself to the extent that you are comfortable, will help to establish rap­
port and trust. Sharing information about your children, your faith, or
your experience with other Muslims will decrease suspicion and anxiety
while facilitating the development of a relationship with the victim.

Gender Issues
• Use same gender provider: Whenever possible, victims should
be allowed to work with workers of the same gender, especially when
dealing with matters of sexuality. Practicing Muslims do not interact as
casually with the opposite gender as is common in American society.
Furthermore, issues related to sexuality are taboo and will be easier to
discuss with providers of the same gender.
• Eye contact: Between genders, eye contact may be uncomfortable,
especially for less acculturated women. Interpret avoided eye contact as
a sign of respect.
• Shaking hands: Always ask before shaking hands with Muslims of
the opposite gender. Some Muslims refrain from this practice out of mod­
esty.

Utilize Strengths
• Faith/spirituality: Both victims and abusers can use their faith and
religious beliefs to facilitate change. Victims may use their faith for
strength, encouragement, and patience. Knowing that God is always with
them can be a great comfort during a time when others may not be sup­
portive.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 51

• Islam teaches personal accountability: This concept is important

for the abuser to be willing to learn new ways of interacting, as well as
for the victim to take responsibility for her own safety and well-being.
• Concept of forgiveness: Islam teaches that all people are suscepti­
ble to making mistakes. God promises forgiveness of all sins, with the
exception of worshipping other gods, if one genuinely repents. Islam
encourages people to forgive each other and to give second chances,
provided there is evidence that the guilty party is making efforts to
change his/her behavior.
• Importance of the children: Many women are more likely to make
changes for the sake of their children than for themselves. Focusing on
the well-being of the children is often a significant motivator for women
to seek and maintain safety.
• Protection of the family: Victims may respond better to a focus on
the preservation, as much as possible, of the family unit than to a focus
on the victim ending the marriage. Frame interventions as being protec­
tive of all the individuals in the family. Even the abuser is unsafe in a
violent home.

Building Bridges
• Community leaders: Build relationships with leaders in the
Muslim community who can be a source of support to the worker, the
victim, and the abuser. Many times, when the victim knows that an
imam is in agreement with the interventions being used, the worker is
given more credibility. Trust is gained more easily, making the work less
challenging. Community leaders can also identify other resources within
the community, such as social service programs and support groups.
52 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

• Community workers: As Muslim communities are increasing their

awareness about the existence and nature of domestic violence among
their families, there are more individuals within the community acting as
advocates. Connecting with these workers can be an invaluable source of
support since they are familiar with the community’s internal resources.
• Educational workshops: Build awareness by having educational
meetings in community centers and mosques. Many people will feel
more comfortable learning about domestic violence in these non-threat­
ening and familiar settings. This type of outreach leads to relationships
within the community, increased trust and willingness to work collabora-
tively.
• Increase awareness of services: Invite Muslim community leaders
and members to agencies and worksites to familiarize them with the
services that are provided and how to access them. Describe what
women’s shelters are like to dispel myths and anxieties that may exist.
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 53

Appendix 1:
Compilation of Qur’anic verses
CITED IN THIS PAPER
"Let there be no compulsion in religion. Truth stands out clear
from Error. Whoever rejects Evil and believes in God has
grasped the most trustworthy Handhold, that never breaks"
(2:256).

Say, the truth is from your Lord. Let him who will, believe, and
let him who will, reject (it): For the wrongdoers We have
prepared a fire whose smoke and flames, like the walls and roof
of a tent, will hem them in....As to those who believe and work
righteousness …for them will be gardens of Eternity, beneath
them rivers will flow...w (18:29-31).

"Therefore do give admonition, for you are one to admonish. You

are not one to manage (people’s) affairs. But if any turns away
and rejects God, God will punish him with a mighty punishment."
(88:21-24).

"God commands justice, the doing of good, and liberality to

kith and kin, and He forbids all shameful deeds, and injustice
and rebellion. He instructs you, that you may receive admoni-
to/?" (16:90).

"O you who believe! Stand outfirmlyfor God as witnesses tofair

dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swet^e
to wrong and depart you from justice. Be just: that is next
to piety. And fear God. For God is well-acquainted with all
that you do" (5:8).
54 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

"O mankind! Reverence your guardian-Lord, who created you

from a single soul. Created, of like nature, its mate, and from
—
them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women—
fear God, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and
(reverence) the wombs (that bore you), for God ever watches
over you" (4:1).

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male

and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you
may know each other (not that you may despise each other).
Verily, the most honored ofyou in the sight of God is the most
righteous ofyou …"(49:13).

"The blame is only against those who oppress people with

wrongdoing and insolently transgress beyond bounds through
the land, defying right and justice. For such (people) there will
be a grievous penalty. But indeed if any show patience and
forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and
resolution in the conduct of affairs" (42:42-43).

"And those who, when an oppressive wrong is inflicted on them,

(are not cowed) but help and defend themselves. The recompense
for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree), but if a per­
son forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from
God, for (God) loves not those who do wrong" (42: 39-40).

nWe ordained therein for them: life for life, eye for eye, nose for
nose, ear for ear, tooth for tooth, and wounds equal for equal.
But ifanyone remits the retaliation by way of charity, it is an act
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 55

°fatonement for himself. And ifanyfail to judge by (the light of)

w/za/ God has revealed, they are (no better than) wrongdoers."
(5:45).

"When angels take the souls of those who die in sin against
//ze/r souls, they say, "In what (plight) were you?" They reply,
"Weak and oppressed were we in the earth." They say, "Was not
出e earth of God spacious enough for you to move yourselves
crway (from evil)?" Such [people] will find their abode in hell—
what an evil refuge! Except those who are (really) weak and
oppressed一men, women, and children who have no means in
their power, nor (a guidepost) to direct their way. For those
there is hope that God will forgive. For God does blot out (sins)
and is oft- forgiving" (4:98-99).

"And among His signs is this: that He createdfor you matesfrom

among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them,
and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in
that are signs for those who reflect" (30:21).

"And in nowise covet those things in which God has bestowed

His gifts more freely on some ofyou than on others: to men is
allotted what they earn, and to women what they earn. But ask
God of His bounty. For God has full knowledge of all things."
(4:32).

"...those who avoid the greater crimes and shameful deeds, and,
when they are angry even then forgive; those who hearken to
their Lord, and establish regular prayer; who (conduct) their
affairs by mutual consultation..." (2:37-38).
56 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

"Let the women live in the same style as you live, according
to your means: Do not annoy them, so as to restrict them, and if
they cany (life in their wombs) spend your substance on them
until they deliver their burden, and if they suckle your children
give them their recompense: and take mutual counsel together
according to what is just and reasonable, and if you find
yourselves in difficulties, let another woman suckle the child
on the father's behalf." (65:6).

"The mothers shall give suck to their offspring for two whole
years, ifthefather desires to complete the term. But he shall bear
the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul
shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No
mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor
father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in
the same way. If they both decide on weaning by mutual consent,
and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If you
decide on a wet-nursefor your offspring there is no blame on you
provided you pay (the mother) what you offered, on equitable
terms. But fear God and know that God sees well what you do."
(2:233).

"0 my son! Join not in worship (others) with God: for false
worship is indeed the highest wrongdoing...If there be (but) the
weight of a mustard seed and it were (hidden) in a rock, or
anywhere in the heavens or on the earth, God will bring it forth:
For God understands the finer mysteries and is well- acquainted
 What Islam says about DoMiisnc: 57

(^ith them). O my son! Establish regular prayer, enjoin what is

just, ondforbid what is wrong, and bear with patient constancy
whatever betide thee; for this is firmness (of purpose) in the
conduct ofaffairs. And swell not thy cheek with pride at men, nor
walk in insolence through the earth; for God loves not any
arrogant boaster. And be moderate in pace, and lower thy voice;
for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the
脱."（31:12-19).

"Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful

preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most
gracious. "(16:125).

"It is part of the mercy of God that thou dost deal gently with
them. Wert thou severe or harsh-hearted, they would have broken
away from about thee: so pass over (their faults), and ask for
(Gods) forgiveness for them; and consult them in affairs (of
moment) (3:159).

"Men shall take full care of women with the bounties which God
has bestowed more abundantly on the former than on the latter,
and with what they may spend out of their possessions. And the
righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the
intimacy which God has [ordained to be guarded]. And as for
those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear, admonish
them [first]; then leave them alone in bed; then beat them; and if
thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek to harm them. Behold,
God is indeed most high, great! And ifyou have reason to fear
that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint
58 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among

her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring
about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing,
aware. "(4:34-35).

"If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband’s part there

is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement
between themselves; and such settlement is best... but if they dis­
agree (and must part), God wi// provide abundance for all from
His All-Reaching bounty: For God is He that cares for all and is
w/從."（2:128,130).

"When you divorce women, and they are about to fulfill the term
of their 'iddah, either retain them back or let them go, but do
not retain them to injure them (or) take undue advantage; if any
one does that, he wrongs his own soul…(2:231).

"O you who believe! Let not some people among you laugh at
others. It may be that the (latter) are better than the former: nor
defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by
offensive nicknames: ill-seeming is a name connoting wicked­
ness, (to be used by one) after he has believed: and those who do
not desist are (indeed) doing wrong." (49:11).

"0 you who believe! Avoid suspicion as much as possible. For

suspicion in some cases is a sin. And spy not on each other, nor
speak ill of each other behind their backs....n (49:12).
 What Islam says about Domestic Violence 59

"Serve God, andjoin not any partners with Him; and do good—
•to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbors who are
near，neighbors who are strangers, the companion by your side,
the wayfarer (you meet)…"(4:36).

"If anyone earns a fault or a sin and throws it on to one that is

innocent, he carries (on himself) (both) a falsehood and a
flagrant sin." (4:112).

"Namely, that no bearer ofburdens can bear the burden ofanoth­

er; that a person can have nothing but what one strives for; that
the fruit of one’s striving will soon come in sight, then will one
be rewarded with a reward complete." (53:38-41).

"And those who launch a charge against chaste women,and

produce not four witnesses (to support their allegations) flog
them with eighty stripes, and reject their evidence ever after,
for such men are wicked transgressors." (24:4).

"They ask you concerning women's courses. Say, They are a hurt
and a pollution. So keep away from [having sex with] women in
their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But
when they have purified themselves, you may approach them in
any manner, time or place ordained for you by God. For God
loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who
keep themselves pure and clean." (2:222).

"Permitted to you on the night ofthefasts is the approach to your

wives. They are your garments and you are their garments..."
(2:187).
60 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

"O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against
their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness, that you
may take crsvay part of the dowty you have given them—except
where they have been guilty of open lewdness. On the contrary,
live with them on a footing ofkindness and equality. Ifyou take a
dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a good thing, and God
brings about through it a great deal ofgood. But ifyou decide to
take one wife in place of another, even ifyou had given the latter
a whole treasure ofdowry, take not the least bit of it back. Would
you take it by slander and a manifest wrong? And how could you
take it when you have gone in unto each other, and they have
taken from you a solemn covenant?" (4:19-21).

"And those who, having done something to be ashamed of, or

wronged their own souls, earnestly bring God to mind, and ask
—and who can forgive sins except
for forgiveness for their sins—
God?―and are never obstinate in persisting knowingly in (the
wrong) they have done." (3:135).

"God accepts the repentance of those who do evil in ignorance

and repent soon afterwards; to them will God turn in mercy; for
God is full of knowledge and wisdom" (3:17).

"Those who repent and make amends and openly declare (the
truth); to them I turn, for I am oft-returning, most merciful"
(2:160).

"…establish regular prayers at the end of the day and at the

approaches of the night. For those things that are good remove
those that are evil..." (11:114).
 Wi-iat Islam says about Domestic Violence 61

Appendix 2:
Power & Control Wheel

0
0^
USING COERCION USING
广 AND THREATS INTIMIDATION
Making and/or carrying oul threats Matung ⑹ afr M by u^r.g
to do sorr.eUimo (o f)un her looks, actions. geslur cs
• threatening to leave her. to 參 smjshmg things • destroying
^ commit sui&de. Co report her property • abusing
her to welfare • making pcli • OiSC<Jying
/ USING Croo charges 9 makmg weapons / USING V
her do illegiJ things
/ ECONOMIC / EMOTIONAL \
/ ABUSE ^ ABUSE \
Jj Prwtniing txtr from gttting 、 ,Puxn0 her down • making her ’
/ or teeoing a job • making her ^ feel bad about herself • ca/fing her
jr ask for money • gnhng her an nirr«j • making her ifunk sfie's cozy
/ litowince • taking he/ money • not • playnng mind games • /lurTtfiating ner
3 Icnmg her knon about or hivt access ■ .Tufcjig her fed gudtyf.
to ily income. POWER
AND
\ USING MALE PRIVILEGE CONTROL USING ISOLATION
Dng fie/ Uu a servvu • making all tr.e t»g Con(roQ«ng she does, wno s^e sees
de ci^ions • acting \ikM \t\% ,,masrtr of ^ and taiU to. wnat she reads, where
the CAJdc' • being the one to / s/te goes # .'inuring rttf outside
<JefiA« mens and wmens ro<e&. irveh^menc • usmg jtak)usy
USING MINIMIZING. ^ ^ (o justify actio as.
CHILDREN DENYING
f Maxing her Uel g uiity AND BLAMING
about the c/iUdren • u sing Making rignt of the ituse
the children to relay messages and not ttong he/ coocims
• usmg visitanon (o harass her icout it seriously • utying me
mg to take rhe lOuse didniruppen • i/tfting respoo-
Cfti Idren «wjy. siOiiity for aOus/vt ochjvw • sjying
zt\t caustd it.

Domestic Abuse Intervention Project

202 East Superior Street
Duluth, Minnesota 55802
218-722-2781
www.duluth-model.org
62 What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Appendix 3:
Additional Readings
and Useful Websites

Additional Readings:
Abdelkader, Deina. (2000). Social Justice in Islam. IIIT.

'Ali, Abdullah Yusuf. (1999). The Meaning of the Holy Qur’an.

10th Edition. Brentville, MD: Amana Publications.

al Faruqui, I. R. (1984). Islam. Brentwood, MD:

International Graphics.

Asad, Muhammad. (1980). The Message of the Qur’an.

Gibraltar: Dar al-Andalus.

Badawi, Jamal. (1982). The Muslim Women's Dress

According to Qur ’an and Sunnah. Taha Publishers.

Esposito, John. (2002). What Everyone Needs to Know

About Islam.Oxford University Press.

Maqsud, Ruqaiyyah Waris. (2000). Muslim Marriage Guide.

Brentwood, Maryland: Amana Publications.

Nanji, A.A. (1993). The Muslim family in North American:

continuity and change. In H. P. McAdoo (Ed.), Family
Ethnicity: Strength in Diversity. Newbury Park, CA:
SAGE Publication, Inc.
 63
What Islam says about Domestic Violence

Roald, Anne Sofie.(2001). Women in Islam: the Western

Experience. NY: Routledge.

Syed, Ashfaque Ullah. (1998). Index of Qur 'anic Topics.

Washington, DC: IFTA Office.

Wadud, Amina. (1999). Qur ’an and Women.

Oxford University Press.

Useful Websites:
American Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee Website:

http://www/adc.org/education/culture.htm

Council on American Islamic Relations:

www.cair-net.org

Islam Online:

www.islamonline.org

Islamic City:

www.islamiCity.org
 Sponsoring Organizations
Foundation for Appropriate and Immediate Temporary Help (FAITH)
Mission
The mission of the Foundation for Appropriate and Immediate Temporary Help (FAITH) is
to work towards dignified and harmonious life and the development of safe and peaceful
lives for the women and children. To provide humanitarian aid to those in need who live
in the Northern Virginia communities. FAITH intends to establish a multi-purpose social
service complex.
Some of the services FAITH provides
一 Safe and Peaceful Families (Domestic Violence prevention program)
一 Cultural sensitivity trainings in the area of domestic violence
—Community outreach seminars on education and prevention of domestic violence.
一 Connecting the victim to county and private resources
-Court Advocacy
-Transportation to shelter
-Helping Hands (Financial Assistance)
-Car, computer and furniture donation
-Distribution of canned and dry food
-Job skills training
一 Thrift store
-Burial expenses
-Congregational Health Ministry
-Research :
FAITH is a member of
一 Network against Family Abuse (NAFA)
-Domestic and Sexual violence coordinating council of Loudoun County
一 Fairfax county community resource council.
一 Fairfax county Faith Communities in Action (FCIA)
一 Fairfax county FCIA Domestic Violence task force
一 Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services (Fairfax County)
FAITH’S sponsor and mentor organizations are
一 Loudoun Abused Women Shelter (LAWS)
一 Center for Multicultural Human Services (CMHS)

Center for Multicultural Human Services (CMHS)

Center for Multicultural Human Services (CMHS) is a licensed mental health and social
services agency serving immigrants and refugees throughout the metropolitan Washington,
DC area. Its mission is to help people from ethnically diverse backgrounds succeed by
providing comprehensive, cultural sensitive mental health and related services and by
conducting researfh and training to make such services more widely available.

International Institute of Islamic Thought (IIIT)

The International Institute of Islamic Thought (IIIT) promotes academic research on the
methodology and philosophy of various disciplines, and gives special emphasis to the
development of Islamic scholarship in contemporary social sciences. The program, which
has become known as "Islamization of Knowledge", endeavors to elucidate Islamic
concepts that integrate Islamic revealed knowledge with human knowledge and revives
Islamic ethical and moral knowledge.
 About the Authors
Salma Abugideiri, M.Ed. is a licensed professional counselor practicing in
Sterling, Virginia. She has provided counseling to Muslim families in the
northern Virginia area for over eight years. Her work includes individual
and family counseling, providing cultural sensitivity trainings to local
organizations and agencies, outreach and advocacy.

Zainab Alwani, M.A. is a PhD candidate in Islamic Studies. She has been a
researcher in the area of Family and Women’s Issues in Islam for over 20
years. She has several Arabic publications. Currently, she is an adjunct
professor of Arabic and Islamic Studies at Northern Virginia Community
College, as well as at Johns Hopkins University’s School of Advanced
International Studies.

Both authors are Muslim professionals concerned with providing culturally

and religiously sensitive treatment for this growing segment of the
American society.

About the Project Coordinator

Ambreen Ahmed was born and raised in Pakistan. She has been living in
the United States for the past 18 years. Ambreen is a survivor of Domestic
Violence. She is currently working with the Foundation for Appropriate and
Immediate Temporary Help (FAITH) in establishing Domestic Violence
prevention programs in the Muslim community in Northern Virginia.