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(Ebook) Frommer's Irreverent Guide To Rome by Sylvie Hogg ISBN 9780764598869, 0764598864 Online Reading

Frommer's Irreverent Guide to Rome by Sylvie Hogg is an informative travel guide that provides insights into accommodations, dining, and attractions in Rome. The guide is well-reviewed, with a rating of 4.7 out of 5.0 based on 82 reviews, and is available for download in PDF format. It includes practical tips for travelers, cultural insights, and recommendations for a variety of experiences in the city.

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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
18 views139 pages

(Ebook) Frommer's Irreverent Guide To Rome by Sylvie Hogg ISBN 9780764598869, 0764598864 Online Reading

Frommer's Irreverent Guide to Rome by Sylvie Hogg is an informative travel guide that provides insights into accommodations, dining, and attractions in Rome. The guide is well-reviewed, with a rating of 4.7 out of 5.0 based on 82 reviews, and is available for download in PDF format. It includes practical tips for travelers, cultural insights, and recommendations for a variety of experiences in the city.

Uploaded by

zgxcyrgaq809
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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e to

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By
Sylvie Hogg
01_598864 ffirs.qxd 11/4/05 8:18 PM Page i

e to

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By
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other titles in the

IRREVERENT GUIDE
series

Irreverent Amsterdam
Irreverent Boston
Irreverent Chicago
Irreverent Las Vegas
Irreverent London
Irreverent Los Angeles
Irreverent Manhattan
Irreverent New Orleans
Irreverent Paris
Irreverent San Francisco
Irreverent Walt Disney World®
Irreverent Washington, D.C.
01_598864 ffirs.qxd 11/4/05 8:18 PM Page iii

About the Author


Born in California, Sylvie Hogg first came to Rome as a screaming toddler and returned
20 years later as a distracted student of classical archaeology. After living and working in
Rome for several years—during which time she developed unnatural obsessions with
umbrellas, pines, and tufa; a serious prosciutto habit; and a huge crush on 17th-century
artist Gian Lorenzo Bernini—Sylvie now resides in New York City, making several trips
to Italy, her favorite place in the world, throughout the year. She is also the author of
Frommer’s Rome Day by Day.

Published by:
Wiley Publishing , Inc.
111 River St.
Hoboken, NJ 07030-5774

Copyright © 2006 Wiley Publishing, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey. All rights reserved. No
part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in
any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning or
otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States
Copyright Act, without either the prior written permission of the Publisher, or autho-
rization through payment of the appropriate per-copy fee to the Copyright Clearance
Center, 222 Rosewood Drive, Danvers, MA 01923, 978/750-8400, fax 978/646-8600.
Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Legal Department,
Wiley Publishing, Inc., 10475 Crosspoint Blvd., Indianapolis, IN 46256, 317/572-3447,
fax 317/572-4355, or online at http://www.wiley.com/go/permissions.

Wiley and the Wiley Publishing logo are trademarks or registered trademarks of John
Wiley & Sons, Inc. and/or its affiliates. Frommer’s is a trademark or registered trade-
mark of Arthur Frommer. Used under license. All other trademarks are the property of
their respective owners. Wiley Publishing, Inc. is not associated with any product or ven-
dor mentioned in this book.

ISBN-13: 978-0-7645-9886-9
ISBN-10: 0-7645-9886-4

Interior design contributed to by Marie Kristine Parial-Leonardo

Editor: Cate Latting


Production Editor: Suzanna R. Thompson
Cartographer: Roberta Stockwell
Photo Editor: Richard Fox
Production by Wiley Indianapolis Composition Services

For information on our other products and services or to obtain technical support, please
contact our Customer Care Department within the U.S. at 800/762-2974, outside the
U.S. at 317/572-3993 or fax 317/572-4002.

Wiley also publishes its books in a variety of electronic formats. Some content that
appears in print may not be available in electronic formats.

Manufactured in the United States of America

5 4 3 2 1
01_598864 ffirs.qxd 11/4/05 8:18 PM Page iv

Acknowledgments
Thanks to my family (and especially Dad, for your support and complicity); to my
Roman brother, Fabrizio, and my expat girls—Anne L., Jennifer C., Claire H., and
Emily C.—for sharing so many of the experiences that have shaped this book; to Fulvia
and Pierluigi—siete grandi; to the Dartmouth Classics department; to Frank Bruni; and
last, but not least, to the lovely Cate Latting at Frommer’s, for her patience, stamina,
and steady hand through the treacherous shoals of target page count.

A Disclaimer
Prices fluctuate in the course of time, and travel information changes under the impact of
the varied and volatile factors that influence the travel industry. We therefore suggest that
you write or call ahead for confirmation when making your travel plans. Every effort has
been made to ensure the accuracy of information throughout this book and the contents
of this publication are believed correct at the time of printing. Nevertheless, the publishers
cannot accept responsibility for errors or omissions, for changes in details given in this
guide, or for the consequences of any reliance on the information provided by the same.
Assessments of attractions and so forth are based upon the author’s own experience and
therefore, descriptions given in this guide necessarily contain an element of opinion,
which may not reflect the publisher’s opinion or dictate a reader’s own experience on
another occasion. Readers are invited to write to the publisher with ideas, comments, and
suggestions for future editions.
Your safety is important to us, however, so we encourage you to stay alert and be
aware of your surroundings. Keep a close eye on cameras, purses, and wallets, all favorite
targets of thieves and pickpockets.
02_598864 ftoc.qxd 11/4/05 8:24 PM Page v

C O N T E N T S
INTRODUCTION 1
Maps
Map 1 Rome Neighborhoods 2

YO U P R O B A B LY D I D N ’ T K N O W 6
How to get into Roman character (6) • How can I look less like a
tourist? (7) • The truth about caffè and cappuccino (7) • “Prego,” the
all-purpose word (8) • How to swear like an Italian (8) • How to spot
pickpockets (9) • How to resist caving to jet lag on your first day (9) •
Do drink the water! (10) • Where can I go to the bathroom? (10) •
First come, not first served (10) • A word on bus etiquette (11) • How
to avoid becoming roadkill (11) • What’s the deal with all the police?
(12) • What does SPQR mean? (12) • How to tame the Italian stallion
(12) • Miao, bella! (13)

1 A C C O M M O D AT I O N S 14
Basic Stuff 18
When to Book & When to Go 18
European Hotels for Beginners 20
Is There a Right Address? 20
Now Starring 22
The Lowdown 22
New inns on the block (22) • Edgy escapes for paparazzi-plagued VIPs
(23) • Swank and central (24) • The grande dames (24) • Dirt cheap
and dead central (24) • Best cheap sleeps (25) • Where to drop after you
shop (26) • Luscious love nests (26) • Rooms with a view (27) •
Closer to God are thee (27) • Bring the bambinos (28) • Sleep in
heavenly peace (28) • Make your own bed (29) • I have a 7am
flight—are there any hotels near the airport? (29)
02_598864 ftoc.qxd 11/4/05 8:24 PM Page vi

Maps
Map 2 Rome Accommodations Orientation 16
Map 3 Campo De’ Fiori & Piazza Navona Accommodations 30
Map 4 Spanish Steps, Piazza Del Popolo & Via Veneto
Accommodations 31
The Index 32
An A to Z of places to stay, with vital statistics

2 DINING 42
Basic Stuff 46
Ristorante Etiquette 101 47
Only in Rome 48
When to Eat—& Drink 49
The Lowdown 50
Starbucks could learn a thing or two (50) • Local heroes (51) • Hip,
trendy—and the food’s good, too (51) • Modern grub (52) • Dining
alfresco (53) • When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie (53) •
Favorite enotecas (54) • Chowin’ down near the Colosseum (55) • Taking
a bite out of Trastevere (56) • Vatican vittles (56) • Testaccio: Hardware
shops and trendy bôites (56) • Gone fishin’ (57) • Dishes your Jewish
grandma would be proud of (57) • Food with a view (58) • Where to
go when you’re sick of pasta (58) • Eat your greens (59) • Snacks on
the go (59) • Frozen treats (59) • Just desserts (60)
Maps
Map 5 Rome Dining Orientation 44
Map 6 Campo De’ Fiori & Piazza Navona Dining 61
Map 7 Spanish Steps & Piazza Del Popolo Dining 62
The Index 63
An A to Z list of restaurants, with vital statistics

3 DIVERSIONS 76
Basic Stuff 80
Getting Your Bearings 80
Getting Around 82
Discounts, Passes & Reservations 83
The Lowdown 84
Must-sees for first-time visitors (84) • Remains of the day (85) • How
to do the Vatican (86) • Pope’s “R” Us (87) • Celebratory columns (87) •
Tourist Traps (& Tourist Don’ts) (88) • Hot-tub hedonism (88) •
Egypt-o-mania (89) • Michelangelo marks the spot (89) • A Bernini
bonanza (90) • Among gods and emperors (91) • Holy heavy hitters (92)
• Fine-art freebies (93) • Private collections for public viewing (93) •
Architecture Romans love to hate (94) • A river runs through it (95) •
Going medieval (95) • Visiting the Jewish Ghetto (96) • My Feet Hurt
(96) • The city’s top views (96) • What lies beneath (or, why the subway
system sucks) (97) • Literary itineraries (98) • The X-Files (98) •
02_598864 ftoc.qxd 11/4/05 8:24 PM Page vii

Tombs of the rich and famous (98) • Morbid Rome (99) • Roma
moderna (100) • Hip ’hoods off the beaten path (100) • Fascist
Rome (101) • Kid stuff (101)
Maps
Map 8 Rome Diversions Orientation 78
Map 9 Ancient Rome Diversions 103
Map 10 Campo De’ Fiori & Piazza Navona Diversions 104
Map 11 Spanish Steps & Piazza Del Popolo Diversions 105
The Index 106
An A to Z list of diversions, with vital statistics

4 GETTING OUTSIDE 120


Basic Stuff 122
The Lowdown 122
City parks and green spaces (122) • Where to work out (123) •
Free wheelin’ (124) • Giddy-up (125) • Poolside (125) • Get outta
town! (126) • Where’s the beach? (127)

5 SHOPPING 128
Basic Stuff 132
Sizing 132
Sales Seasons 132
Target Zones 132
Hours of Business 133
Sales Tax 133
The Lowdown 134
Designer decadence (134) • Molto fashion (135) • Outlet Bound (135)
• Suggestions for Souvenir Shoppers (136) • One-stop shopping (136) •
Shoes, glorious shoes (137) • The well-dressed fellow (138) • Sassy
and sporty (138) • Something about leather (139) • The 24-Hour
Accessory (139) • Shopping for the bambini (139) • A feast of food
markets (140) • Edibles to go (140) • Fine wines (141) • Lords of the fleas
(141) • Work That Deal: The Fine Art of Italian Negotiation (142) •
Antiques and collectibles (142) • Book it, baby (142) • Vatican chic (143)
Maps
Map 12 Rome Shopping Orientation 130
Map 13 Spanish Steps & Piazza Del Popolo Shopping 144
Map 14 Campo De’ Fiori & Piazza Navona Shopping 145
The Index 146
An A to Z list of shops, with vital statistics

6 NIGHTLIFE 156
Basic Stuff 160
Vietato Fumare 161
Events & Listings 161
02_598864 ftoc.qxd 11/4/05 8:24 PM Page viii

Drinking Prices & Practices 162


What to Wear 162
The Lowdown 162
Opening ceremonies (162) • Bars for the bella gente (163) • The new
breed (163) • Livin’ la dolce vita (164) • A drink with a view (165) •
Summer in the City (165) • Disco inferno (165) • Meat markets
(166) • The gay scene (167) • All that jazz (and blues) (167) • A good
band is hard to find (168) • The local pub scene (168)
Maps
Map 15 Rome Nightlife Orientation 158
Map 16 Campo De’ Fiori & Piazza Navona Nightlife 170
The Index 171
An A to Z list of nightspots, with vital statistics

7 E N T E R TA I N M E N T 178
Basic Stuff 182
Hollywood on the Tiber 183
Listings & Tickets 183
The Lowdown 184
Symphonies and stuff (184) • A night at the opera (184) • The play’s
the thing (185) • Cinema Paradiso (185) • I love rock ’n’ roll (186) •
A kick in the balls (and other sports) (186) • Kidding around (187) •
In the Summertime (188)
Maps
Map 17 Rome Entertainment 180
The Index 189
An A to Z list of venues, with vital statistics

HOTLINES & OTHER BASICS 194


Airport (195) • Airport transportation to downtown (195) • Babysit-
ters (196) • Banks and currency exchange offices (196) • Car rentals
(197) • Consulates and embassies (197) • Currency (197) • Driving
and parking (197) • Electricity (198) • Emergencies and police (198)
• Events information (198) • Festivals & Special Events (199) • Gay
and lesbian sources (200) • Health matters (201) • Holidays (201) •
Internet access (202) • Newspapers (202) • Opening and closing times
(202) • Passports and visas (203) • Post office (203) • Public trans-
portation (203) • Religious services (204) • Standards of measure
(205) • Taxes and duty free (205) • Taxis (205) • Telephones (206) •
Time (206) • Tipping (207) • Tourist lines (207) • Travelers with
disabilities (207) • Visitor information (208) • Weather (208) •
Women’s Rome (209)

GENERAL INDEX 210


Accommodations Index (213)
Restaurant Index (214)
03_598864 intro.qxd 11/4/05 8:19 PM Page 1

INTRODUCTION

Most people who’ve never been to Rome before have the wrong
idea. Many think “Rome” and imagine a concrete jungle with
officious gray palaces, mean-spirited Fiats barreling down nar-
row alleys, and somewhere in there, the Colosseum. Maybe it’s
the way the name conjures ideas of a masculine empire, the
Catholic church, and Italian bureaucracy, but what most visitors
do not expect is the intimacy and accessibility of Roma. Sure, the
city’s monuments were built with all the lofty ideals man has
ever conceived, and sure, Rome’s undulating topography nearly
quakes with historical and religious import, but unlike most
other major world cities, none of this grandeur is forbidding. Of
course, if you only stay for 2 days and try to see everything on
the postcard rack, you’ll be too addled by the crowds and dizzy
from the variety of offerings to find Rome a congenial place. But
if you linger and venture off the beaten tourist track, you’ll dis-
cern the inviting smile of Rome and grin right back.
“It is no accident that one small village on the Tiber was
chosen to rule the world,” a glory-drunk Messala (Stephen
Boyd) said in Ben-Hur. In the Eternal City, brace yourself for a
walloping of formidable heritage. Everyone who has ever ruled
Rome, from Romulus to Mussolini, has taken it upon himself to
tweak the urban landscape, with little reverence for the previous
era. Almost everything the ancient Romans erected was felled by
the popes in the Middle Ages and the Renaissance; the marble
of pagan temples was recycled to embellish Catholic churches.
(Yet for the Church’s controversial role in the ancient city’s state
03_598864 intro.qxd 11/4/05 8:19 PM Page 2

2
Map 1: Rome Neighborhoods
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4
of ruin, it’s thanks to the existence of the Vatican that Rome was
spared bombing in World War II.) Even the short-lived Savoia
monarchs left their mark, having the temerity to build the gar-
ish, glacial Vittoriano at Piazza Venezia, in the heart of Rome’s
well-established centro storico. For his part, Il Duce bulldozed
ruins and medieval churches in the 1930s to create Via dei Fori
Imperiali, the ultimate showcase of past, and potential, Italic
glory. Every era has done its best to redirect the history of Rome;
dark ages, political upheaval, barbarians, floods, and plagues have
tried to break Rome’s stride. But the urbs learned early on to roll
with the punches, adding so many layers of history to the city’s
millennial character that there’s now a 6m (20-ft.) difference
between the ancient and modern street levels. Just like good left-
over lasagna, the disparate flavors and textures have melded
together, making the whole that much more sublime.
Milan is more sophisticated, Florence is more refined, and
Venice is in a magical league all its own—but as Italian cities go,
Rome is the one that satisfies all criteria in the “myth of Italy.”
Shouting, gesticulating people act out their everyday dramas
while leaning against Renaissance palaces and baroque foun-
tains that in other cities would be fenced and off-limits. Sexy,
stiletto-heeled women flash by on Vespas, only to be honked at
by irate nuns driving cargo vans of who-knows-what. Good
food and fine wines are abundant and affordable, playing per-
haps the most important role in modern life—after soccer, that
is. Crosses and papal insignias are everywhere, but in spite of
(or, perhaps, because of ) the imposing presence of the Vatican
across the river, the only people in Rome’s 400 churches seem to
be the tourists who’ve come to check out the Caravaggio altar-
piece or Bernini sculpture inside.
In terms of beauty, Rome has the kind of looks that make
you say “damn!”—the kind of intangible savoir-faire that makes
a woman hot as opposed to just pretty. The charm of Rome is
greatly enhanced by the fact that the city is not perfectly
groomed. Rome’s imperial mantle is threadbare in places, and
her baroque finery needs a trip to the cleaners, but that just adds
to her irresistible appeal. Rome’s position halfway down the
Italian peninsula, smack in the middle of the Mediterranean,
gives the city a warm, flattering light, lots of sunshine, and—
thanks to a serendipitous marine effect—rich blue skies despite
a serious smog problem.
However, Rome is not all good times and glamour. Super-
ficial problems include rampant graffiti, petty theft, litter, and
pollution from vehicle emissions, which threatens not only
inhabitants’ lungs, but priceless monuments, the cleaning of
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5
which inevitably compromises the original art. But what can
you do? Put a Plexiglas case around Trajan’s Column? You
could, but the Romans won’t. A deeper issue is Rome’s struggle
for its own, modern identity. The juggling act that 21st-century
Rome is forced to perform—clinging to its traditions and trying
to be a vital European capital—isn’t easy. The laurels of the
Eternal City’s illustrious history are in plain view, everywhere,
and on a daily basis; modern Romans can’t help but feel daunted
by the achievements of their forebears. Its hip and energetic
current mayor, Walter Veltroni, has tried to make Rome not just
a top travel destination but also an important world capital for
the new millennium—he’s inaugurated several new contempo-
rary cultural spaces, and perhaps not coincidentally, it’s under
his administration that so many of Rome’s bars and restaurants
have gotten their modern, minimalist makeovers. But there’s
something unconvincing about all these trappings of modernity
when this is still a town where young people live with their par-
ents well into adulthood. But instead of getting too frustrated
and glum about this state of affairs, as some northern populaces
might, Romans do their best to shrug it off and focus on the
next great meal. Sputter though it may, the engine of progress in
Rome, as in the rest of Italy, is moving forward. The smoking
ban, for instance, which went into effect in January 2005 in Ital-
ian bars and restaurants, is a huge stride.
The Eternal City is a feast for the senses, but it can easily
become sensory overload if you try to gulp it down too quickly.
Certainly, the chaos of Rome would be completely insufferable if
it weren’t for the breathing room provided by ubiquitous piazze,
the delight provided by whimsical fountains, or the palpable pri-
ority—despite their seemingly frenetic pace—that natives put on
taking time for the simple things. When in Rome, enjoy the dolce
far niente (the “sweet doing of nothing”), the food and wine, as
well as the passionate pageantry of Roman street life. Don’t just
take pictures of Rome, dive into the fray.
Rome rewards the imaginative, the passionate, the nostal-
gic, and those who take it at an easy pace. Give yourself time to
wander the backstreets of the centro storico and to reel before the
ruins flanking Via dei Fori Imperiali at sunset, and I guarantee
you’ll fall hopelessly in love. Centuries of writers have tried to
put their finger on it, but the complex character of Rome ulti-
mately eludes the pen. Henry James put it best when he wrote
that, in trying to put Rome into words, “one exposes oneself to
the perilous likelihood of talking nonsense about it.” Whatever
it is, welcome to the most spellbinding city in the world.
04_598864 ypdk.qxd 11/4/05 8:21 PM Page 6

YOU
P R O B A B LY
DIDN’T KNOW

How to get into Roman character... When on the stage


of Rome, pretend you’re auditioning for a remake of La
Dolce Vita. Be glamorous yet blasé. Observe your surround-
ings not with the wide, smiling eyes of a tourist, but with
the jaded squint of a decadent movie star who’s taking a
long drag on a cigarette. Wear the brooding countenance of
someone who has been wronged, but who is silently,
methodically plotting his revenge. Periodically jerk your
head around as if pestered by the unrelenting flash of the
paparazzi, and always, always wear sunglasses. You think
I’m kidding? Just look at the dramatic vignettes that unfold
when Romans are all by themselves—waiting at stoplights
on their scooters, or at the grocery store buying cornflakes.
These are a people who work through the full gamut of
human emotions daily, if not hourly, with no apparent
provocation. And why shouldn’t they ham it up? With so
many gorgeous things to gawk at in their hometown, locals
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7
know they’re always in someone’s sightlines—and for all
they know, you could be the next Fellini.

How can I look less like a tourist?... Well, the first


clues are the map and guidebook you’re holding. Here’s a
trick for you—hide both in the folds of an Italian news-
paper (Il Messaggero, the Roman everyman’s rag, is a good
bet), sneaking furtive glances at the reference literature
only when absolutely necessary. Most Americans also need
a serious makeover to blend in with the Roman species.
Start with some big, outlandish sunglasses—in fact, pile on
all the flashy accessories you can find. Wear tight clothes
and banish all stonewashed jeans, khakis, and “sport san-
dals” from your wardrobe. If teenaged, procure yourself a
brightly colored Invicta backpack and then scribble the
names of your favorite bands all over it in black marker. If
female, be a slave to the trends, no matter how ridiculous
they are—Roman women manage to be fashion victims
with flair. Wear lotsa eyeliner, and master walking on cobble-
stones in stilettos—it’s all in the toe. The shoe-resenting
scowl that will eventually find its way onto your face will
help you look like the local women. If you’re a middle-aged
man hoping to camouflage yourself in Italy, simply outfit
yourself in a National Geographic–photographer type vest,
available cheap at the street markets. Guys of all ages can
also go with the sporty chic of pseudo-technical sailing
apparel, as many Romans seem to think they’re on some
kind of standby crew for the America’s Cup.

The truth about caffè and cappuccino... Italians may


do a lot of things that confound logic, but not so with
regards to their coffee—which is why Starbucks hasn’t
opened up shop in Rome and probably never will. Why
would anyone pay 4€ ($5) for a burnt cappuccino when
they can get a real one for .70€ (90¢) at any old bar down
the street? For the record, a real cappuccino is made with
full-fat milk, and the milk is only steamed ever so slightly,
not frothed into stiff submission by some kid in a green
apron; as Dante himself once said, “a green apron does not
a barista make.” Many Americans walk into Roman bars
and ask for a “latte,” then act confused when they’re served
a plain glass of milk. (Well, here’s a news bulletin for you—
latte means milk in Italian. If you want espresso in it, ask
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8
for a caffellatte.) Remember, Starbucks-ese is not spoken in
Italy: Terms like “non-fat” and “soy” will only draw blank
stares, and steer clear of “venti” unless you really mean to
order 20 coffees. Finally, there’s no “x” in the word espresso.

“Prego,” the all-purpose word... You don’t actually need


to know any Italian to get by in Rome, but the language is
fun, and the locals, unlike the French, are charmed by even
your most pathetic stabs at basic phrases like grazie (“thank
you”—pronounced “graht-see-eh,” not “grodzy,” or “gra-
cias,” as most Americans believe), buon giorno (“good
morning” or “good day,” before 3pm), or buona sera (“good
evening” after 3pm). Ciao is “hi” or “bye” (when it’s the lat-
ter, ciao-ciao-ciao-ciao rings harried and important).
Mamma mia can be interjected whenever you please to
express frustration, incredulity, shock, relief, endorsement,
even glee. Madonna is, ironically enough, used like the
English “Jesus.” Prego (literally, “I pray”) is perhaps the
most useful word of all: It can mean “You’re welcome,”
“Please go ahead of me,” “May I take your order,” or in
some cases, “I didn’t understand a word of what you just
said in your garbled American accent; please repeat.” If all
of that seems too advanced, you can always adopt “Aoh!”—
a uniquely Roman utterance whose one, two, or three sylla-
bles can be friendly or hostile, as in: “Aoh! Good to see ya!”
or “Aoh! Stop staring at my wife’s cleavage!”

How to swear like an Italian... As useful as prego is,


there comes a time in your Roman holiday when you’ll
need more powerful language. At the core of the Roman
expletive lexicon is another five-letter word that begins
with a P: porco (pig). One of the most common phrases
you’ll hear on the street is “Porco dio” (God is a pig), uttered
in times of distress, anger, or failure. Biblical traitors (porco
Giuda), prostitutes (porca puttana), even the first woman
(porca Eva) are all fair game. Here are some examples for
you to try around town. Situation 1: You only have 1 day
to see the Colosseum, and it’s closed because of a museum
workers’ strike. You say: “Porca miseria” (pig misery). Situa-
tion 2: You spill red wine on your white linen pants. You
say: “Porco di quel porco” (pig of that pig). Situation 3: You
realize your taxi driver has just stiffed you 20€ ($25), and
he’s already driving down the street. In this case, there’s no
04_598864 ypdk.qxd 11/4/05 8:21 PM Page 9

9
need for porco—just shout “Mortacci tua!” (in Roman slang,
“your dead people”) and throw your right arm up for effect.

How to spot pickpockets... The streets and public trans-


portation in Rome are crawling with gypsies and other
sleight-handed miscreants, but Romans never get pick-
pocketed. How is this? The city’s petty thieves prey on you,
the unwitting tourist, who, bless you, are dumb enough to
leave your wallet in your jeans pocket. Gypsies (called rom
here) make up the vast majority of the pickpocket popula-
tion, and they’re pretty easy to recognize. Young women
wearing loose, mismatched floral garments, their
uncombed hair tied back, try to distract you with their
babes-in-arms, cardboard pleas for charity, or newspapers,
under which their hands work deftly at undoing your
money belt or reaching into your pocket. The other 5% of
street thieves are plainclothes pickpockets, who might be
dressed like totally respectable businessmen but whose
“business” is riding crowded Metro trains (and especially
bus 64) and slipping away with wads of tourists’ cash. The
good news is that these thieves aren’t violent, and it’s a
good bet that no one will ever “mug” you in Rome. Just
keep your bags close to your body—no need for paranoid
clutching, though—and an I-am-not-a-victim attitude
about you, and you’ll likely make it through your visit with-
out having to cancel your credit cards.

How to resist caving to jet lag on your first day...


Most people arrive in Rome the morning after an overnight
flight, disoriented, tired, and in need of a shower. In most
cases, however, your hotel room won’t be ready until at least
1pm. (Those whose flights arrive at 11am have a great
advantage over the 7am crowd, so always try to book a flight
with a later departure.) Pack a change of clothes in your
carry-on luggage or near the top of your suitcase, use the
hotel’s lobby bathroom to freshen up, grab a caffè, and hit
the town. Don’t attempt anything too ambitious (for exam-
ple, the Vatican) on your first day; instead, visit a few
squares and churches in the centro storico and get some
lunch on a side street near Piazza Navona or on Campo de’
Fiori. After lunch, you can take a shower in your now-ready
hotel room, but resist the urge to conk out on the bed. The
trick is to keep moving. Stroll in the sunlight for a few more
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10
hours, get an aperitivo at dusk, and then you’ll be ready for
dinner. You might be exhausted by the end of your meal, but
you won’t have wasted the day, and you’ll sleep well, per-
fectly primed for Rome time.

Do drink the water!... Ever since ancient times, when


aqueducts brought 38 million gallons of H2O into the city
daily, Romans have enjoyed cold, clean, abundant acqua.
It’s perfectly acceptable (and safe) to stop at one of those
low hydrants—known as fontanelle or nasoni (literally, big
noses)—all over the city and take a sip of water. Block the
spigot with your finger, and water will spurt out the hole in
the top of the curved pipe. If you have an empty bottle with
you, you can save money (and the environment) by filling
up there. Locals don’t, but who cares?

Where can I go to the bathroom?... For a city with


tourist attractions every 5 feet, Rome sure has a shortage of
public restrooms—or so it would seem. We, however, have
a secret for you. Rome also has cafes every 5 feet, which are
required by law to allow non-customers to use their facili-
ties. (They’re also required to provide a glass of tap water to
any thirsty person who enters.) Just ask politely for the
bagno, to which they’ll reply, “In fondo a destra” (in the back,
to the right). Cafe toilets tend not to be stocked with rolls
of Quilted Northern, so grab a napkin from the bar on your
way in and don’t be shocked if cleanliness could be
improved upon.

First come, not first ser ved... If you’re one of those


people who thinks of line-jumpers as sociopaths on a par
with, say, the Unabomber, you’re in for some blood boiling
in Rome. “Why are all these people cutting in line, when
I’m obviously next?” you’ll wonder, as all the locals bla-
tantly violate your custom of waiting one’s proper turn. I
hate to say it, but this is one cultural difference that doesn’t
seem to be going away even in the age of globalization.
Queue-jumpers come in all shapes and sizes, but none are
more skilled perpetrators of this heinous act (“What?
There were people here before me?”) than the city’s old
ladies. At the post office, the gelato shop, even museums,
Romans are like carrion birds, circling and squawking to
create distraction, all the while ready to swoop when the
next agent becomes available. Politeness, unfortunately, is
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