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Hannah Leslie
Ms. Benenhaley
English 10 H
26 September 2024
Manic Pixie Dream Girl
A manic pixie dream girl is defined as a girl who is “different” and “not like other girls.”
She's “quirky” because she either has dyed hair, listens to indie bands, sees the world through
some kind of rainbow colored glasses or reads books. She only exists for the sake of progressing
the male character's story. Certainly no “normal” girl would know who The Smiths are because
they’re too busy listening to Taylor Swift and silly pop music. There's no way an “ordinary” girl
would leave the house with an unnatural hair color, that's crazy right?!
I’m known for my purple hair, love of underground music and my eccentric fashion
taste. I cut my own bangs, attend concerts almost every week and shop at Hot Topic]; definitely
so “hardcore” right?! I’ve often been compared to a manic pixie dream girl. I used to embrace
this label because, of course, I would want to be in the same category as Ramona Flowers from
one of my favorite movies, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. I was like the real life Ruby Sparks just
searching the world for the Calvin that created me. As I've grown I came to realize that this was
more of a costume and ideology that I never fit into. I didn’t exist to move along another guy's
plot. I am not your manic pixie dream girl.
During 8th grade I fell for a boy I met as Jade. Jade was never his real name but he never
truly identified with the one his parents gave him. He had long blonde hair, light green eyes, and
a smile that reminded me of walking through the forest in the fall. He dressed in baggy jeans and
flannels styled with a band shirt of somebody I'd never heard of. Something about this style was
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so midwest emo to me, it’s like he hoped straight from a Modern Baseball album. He wrote his
own music that was never really that was never really that good, yet I still told him it was
amazing. The songs sounded like a child banging together pots and pans. We clashed on so many
levels yet connected the most in the ways that really mattered. I wanted to be his manic pixie
dream girl.
It was May 24th 2023, to set the scene it was me and Jade walking down the calming,
almost sitcom-like, streets of his neighborhood. It wasn’t exactly what I would call a cul-de-sac
but something about the colors of the houses felt the same. They were all this kind of gray blue
color with the greenest grass I'd ever seen. It was around mid afternoon and I could still smell
dew left over on his neighbor's daisy flowers. The weather wasn’t typical spring weather, it was
the perfect temperature to wear a long sleeve without getting hot. I sported a MCR sweater,
ripped baggy jeans, and my platforms that made me almost 5’8. He was wearing a black and
gray flannel with his long blonde hair in a ponytail.
Something felt off, he smelt like Vanilla. His normal cologne was a brand I couldn’t
remember the name of but it was more of a caramel smell. That was weird. We kept walking till
we reached a metal bench. He said that we should both sit down because we needed to “talk”. Uh
oh needing to “talk” was never a good sign. He explained to me, “This isn’t gonna work, you are
cool and all but you aren’t what I expected. I was expecting more of a y'know emo girl? Not a
girl with emo fashion. You are a little too weird for my expectations.” The second he said
“weird” my heart dropped.
“But you told me you liked how unique I was, I don’t understand.” I said, taken aback
with a sort of voice that was on a fine line between crying and yelling. I wanted to cry but didn’t
want to break the preexisting image he had of me. He thought I was tough.
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He let out a sigh, “I don’t need you to understand.” he expressed while standing up, “I
need you to know I can’t do it anymore.” I got up to say something but he put his hand on my
shoulder and said “One day you’ll find someone who will love you like you deserve.” He was
quoting my favorite song, Peach by The Front Bottoms. He broke my heart AND tried to ruin my
favorite song?!?! What's wrong with this guy?!?!
He didn’t even have the decency to say he was sorry. Was I a little weird? Of course, I
was a teenage girl in the alt scene. I never understood what he meant by weird and still never
will. The rest of the conversation was just a blur until he walked away and left me in what now
felt like an unfamiliar neighborhood. “Weird”. What an asshole. Being the manic pixie dream
girl wasn’t enough for him.
Now am I still friends with Jade? That would be a complicated answer. I'm no longer
friends with the name but with the man. He went back to his birth-given name, William. Did I
ever truly forgive him? I couldn’t say I have no matter how badly he wishes it. He has
apologized about a gazillion times but I could never shake the fact he thought I was weird.
After all was said and done I finally realized the true nature of a manic pixie dream girl.
The manic pixie dream girl was supposed to inspire the man while leaving her own hobbies and
dreams behind. I never left my dreams behind, I tried to elevate the two of us evenly. The manic
pixie dream girl was supposed to focus on the “us” instead of herself. I never did that, I put
myself ahead of all of us because my mental wellbeing mattered too. I simply couldn’t stay in the
manic pixie dream girl stereotype when I never even fit it at all. I was not the girl known for
having purple hair and dressing goth. I was known for my goofy sense of humor, my love of
theater, my love for porcelain dolls. From all of this I wasn’t the “manic pixie dream girl” with
just colorful hair and a slight underground artist. I was now a girl who would be recognized by
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her talents rather than descriptors. I couldn’t be a manic pixie dream girl if I never met the
standards anyway. Nobody should aspire to be a manic pixie dream girl, they should aspire to
live their own lives and not be afraid to break a stereotype they put themselves into. That’s why I
want to say, I never want to be a manic pixie dream girl.
