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T H E AR T O F L O V E P O E T R Y
The Art of Love
Poetry
ERIK GRAY

1
 3
Great Clarendon Street, Oxford, OX2 6DP,
United Kingdom
Oxford University Press is a department of the University of Oxford.
It furthers the University’s objective of excellence in research, scholarship,
and education by publishing worldwide. Oxford is a registered trade mark of
Oxford University Press in the UK and in certain other countries
© Erik Gray 2018
The moral rights of the author have been asserted
First Edition published in 2018
Impression: 1
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in
a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the
prior permission in writing of Oxford University Press, or as expressly permitted
by law, by licence or under terms agreed with the appropriate reprographics
rights organization. Enquiries concerning reproduction outside the scope of the
above should be sent to the Rights Department, Oxford University Press, at the
address above
You must not circulate this work in any other form
and you must impose this same condition on any acquirer
Published in the United States of America by Oxford University Press
198 Madison Avenue, New York, NY 10016, United States of America
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data
Data available
Library of Congress Control Number: 2017944923
ISBN 978–0–19–875297–4
Printed and bound by
CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY
Text separator symbol: Amended from a symbol created by
Valeriy from the Noun Project.
For Shira
 Couplet
Classical poets, both the Greek
And Latin, found that the best way
To capture love and make it speak
And demonstrate its mighty sway
Was in a couplet to combine
A five-foot and a six-foot line.
Whether the syncopated beat
Of staggered lines seemed to suggest
The alternating rush and rest
Of lovers’ hearts—or else to be
The rhythm made by dancing feet,
Distinct yet complementary—
Or if the lines seemed to convey
The pauses of familiar talk,
Or the paired pace of those who stray
And wander in their daily walk,
Or something else, I do not know.
Yet sure it is that something mystic
Seemed to invest the ratio
That forms the elegiac distich.
So thought they. And I look at you
And feel that what they thought is true.
I even feel a touch of pride
To know those poets would approve,
If they could only see, our love,
Which similarly seems to be
Founded on nonconformity,
And grows the stronger for our sense
Of union in difference.
So forth we fare, your hand in mine,
Our steps, though unalike, allied,
Hoping the years may see us stride
Into the distance side by side:
A six-foot line, a five-foot line.
 Acknowledgments

My primary debt is to the students in the various seminars on love poetry

I have taught over the years. Many of the ideas and readings in this book
were developed during those classes, which were a joy to teach. I am
extremely grateful also to Stefanie Markovits and Marion Thain, first for
the invaluable advice that they offered as anonymous readers for Oxford
University Press, and second for their willingness to forgo that anonymity,
which allowed me to call on them for further assistance. I am deeply
indebted to them both, as well as to Jacqueline Norton at OUP, who has
encouraged my work on this project since its inception.
I began writing this book during a semester of leave from Columbia
University and completed it during another, and I wish to thank Columbia
for its support, as well as my many colleagues in the English Department
who have offered helpful suggestions along the way. In particular, I am
grateful to Matthew Margini (also a notable member of the first-named
group above) for his learned and extremely useful comments on Chapter 4,
and to Jim Adams for generously reading the entire typescript when it was
complete.
Portions of Chapter 2 were first published in “Come Be My Love: The
Song of Songs, Paradise Lost, and the Tradition of the Invitation Poem,”
PMLA 128 (2013). A portion of Chapter 3 appeared in Russ McDonald,
Nicholas D. Nace, and Travis D. Williams (eds), Shakespeare Up Close:
Reading Early Modern Texts (Arden, 2012). My thanks to the editors for
permission to reprint.
My deepest obligation of all is to my family. To my parents, Bill and
Antoinette Gray, I am forever grateful. The love they have given me
throughout my life is of a different kind from the love that is treated in
this book, but it is the ground and basis of all. Were it not for that, I would
never have written this. Emmett Gray, who made his appearance between
Chapters 4 and 5, cannot be said to have contributed materially to the
writing of this book—except in the very real sense of giving me the
greatest possible incentive to finish it, so I could spend even more time
with him. Finally, to my wife, Shira Backer, I would express how much
I owe, in this as in everything I do. But I cannot possibly express it, and
you know it already.
viii Acknowledgments

COPYRIGHT ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Excerpts from “Dichtung und Wahrheit,” from Collected Poems by W. H.

Auden, reprinted by permission of Penguin Random House LLC.
“Three Valentines,” from Poems by Elizabeth Bishop, published by
Chatto & Windus, reprinted by permission of The Random House
Group Limited and Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
“Against Love Poetry,” from Against Love Poetry: Poems by Eavan Boland.
Copyright © 2001 by Eavan Boland. Used by permission of W. W.
Norton & Company, Inc., and Carcanet Press, Ltd.
“Never Again Would Birds’ Song Be the Same,” excerpts from “Two Look
at Two,” and “West-Running Brook” from The Poetry of Robert Frost, ed.
Edward Connery Lathem. Copyright © 1923, 1928, 1969 by Henry
Holt & Company; copyright ©1942, 1951, 1956 by Robert Frost;
copyright © 1970 by Lesley Frost Ballantine. Permission granted by
Henry Holt & Company and The Random House Group Limited. All
rights reserved.
“Love,” from Mirrors of Astonishment by Rachel Hadas, Rutgers University
Press, 1992. Copyright © 1992 by Rachel Hadas. Reprinted by permis-
sion of Rutgers University Press.
“The Skunk” and “A Postcard from Iceland” by Seamus Heaney.
Copyright © 1979, 1987 by Seamus Heaney. Reprinted by permission
of Faber and Faber, Ltd, and Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
“For an Amorous Lady,” copyright © 1939 by Theodore Roethke; from
Collected Poems by Theodore Roethke. Used by permission of Faber and
Faber, Ltd, and of Doubleday, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday
Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights
reserved.
Excerpts from The Invention of Love, copyright © 1997 by Tom Stoppard.
Used by permission of Faber and Faber, Ltd, and of Grove/Atlantic, Inc.
Any third party use of this material, outside of this publication, is
prohibited.
“Love Song (Sweep the house clean . . . )” by William Carlos Williams,
from The Collected Poems: Volume I, 1909–1939, copyright © 1938 by
New Directions Publishing Corp. Reprinted by permission of New Dir-
ections Publishing Corp. and Carcanet Press, Ltd.
 Contents
Introduction 1
1. Love and Poetry 15
2. Invitations 49
3. Kissing 82
4. Animals 115
5. Marriage 154
Conclusion 190

Epilogue: Shir Hashirim 195

Works Cited 197
Index 207
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