Community Courses: Foundations Course 2
Entering Your State of Life
Materials for Participants
2009
Foundations Course 2: Entering Your State of Life Materials for Participants 2009
Talk 4. The Choices
1. Introduction
2. Moving towards living single
a. Regardless of the reason(s) for which you are considering living single, you need
support and a sound pattern of life.
b. If you are considering living single for the Lord, there are three main options:
1) living single for the Lord as part of a brotherhood or sisterhood;
2) living single for the Lord as part of some other kind of support group;
3) living single for the Lord by yourself, probably living with a family or some
group of single men or women in the community.
c. If you are considering a brotherhood or sisterhood:
1) You need experience with their life (including living it) as one way to find out
if it will work well for you.
2) They need to come to the point of thinking it is right for you to be part of
them.
3) You should probably live single for the Lord in our international community,
because your call is ordinarily to serve where you have received life.
d. You cannot just decide how you are going to live as a Christian single person, be-
cause living single requires a context. Rather, you should decide to be open to the
possibility and begin a process of discernment.
3. Moving towards marriage
a. The first decision you need to make is that you should move towards marriage
and move towards a certain kind of marriage. The next decision is with whom you
will move towards marriage, because most of the decisions about your marriage
should be made with your prospective marriage partner.
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Foundations Course 2: Entering Your State of Life Materials for Participants 2009
b. You need to avoid worldly approaches to finding a marriage partner, and you also
need to avoid super-spiritual approaches. A godly approach is primarily a matter
of understanding marriage, understanding yourself, and seeking the right partner
on that basis.
c. The criteria for a marriage partner
1) Someone who is a Christian.
2) Someone who is of good character: moral, reliable, stable.
3) Someone with whom you can be in general agreement on basic approach to
family life, including:
– commitment to the Lord
– commitment to community and approach to church membership
– men’s and women’s roles
– Christian family order
– the Christian principles on how to raise children
4) Someone with whom you can be in general agreement on “family issues”
– lifestyle (especially finances)
– family size and family planning
5) Someone with whom you can live well. Indicators:
– personality compatibility
– similarity of social and cultural background
– similarity of educational background
6) Romantic attraction and ability to socialize together
7) Some special factors that have to do with men-women differences.
d. The process of moving towards marriage
1) The initial discernment process
– The role of pastoral leaders and parents
2) The decision as to moving forward
– The role of pastoral leaders and parents
3) Approaching the temporary single state of life well
4) Beginning a courtship process: finding a prospective marriage partner and dis-
cerning if that person would actually be a good partner for you
– The Mini-course on Courtship
4. Reminder: the basic orientations
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